SYSK's 2017 Super Spooktacular!

In this year's super scary Halloween episode, Chuck and Josh read two great works of horror fiction: Gifts, by our very own Ed Grabianowski, and the classic The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello, and welcome to the podcast. We need to come
up with those spooky Simpsons names. You know what they
do for a Treehouse of Horror every year. We just
have never done that, but so I guess this year again. Still,
I'm just Josh Clark, and you're just Charles w Chuck Bryant,

(00:31):
and there's Jerry the murderous ghoul Roland. No, you're Josh
Spooky Clark and I'm Chuck. He's right behind you, Bryant. Nice.
That's good stuff, man, thanks for swooping in there. So
this is our Halloween Special, which we do every year
these days for those of you who aren't familiar but

(00:52):
who like horror fiction prepared to be delighted. Yeah, what
we do is, uh, we get together at a year
and we should point out this is one of two
ad free episodes we do every year, along with the
Christmas Holiday Spectacular. Uh. And you know we fight for
this every year because it would really ruin the vibe

(01:14):
of a good spooky story if we took a commercial break,
right yep. But it's our gift to your right. So
what we do is we read it used to be
one story. Sometimes we've fan sourced stories which was. Yeah,
we had a whole horror fiction contest, which we will
never do again. No, it was a lot of work,
but it yielded some pretty great stuff. Yeah, and I

(01:35):
think last year we did the little uh two sentence
fans submitted things and that was kind of neat. But
this year we're going old school and just reading too
straight up horror fiction stories, one of which was written
expressly for us for this episode by our favorite writer
Ed Grabowski. Yes, and we have a little a little

(01:59):
update till last year's story. So Ed wrote us a
story last year called extrane of Use Invocot, which was
great and terrifying. It was so terrifying, in fact, chuck
that over in the UK, a producer of films got
in touch with Ed and said, hey, mate, um, I
want to turn that story into a movie. What do

(02:19):
you say? He said, I'm not your mate, but sure, Yeah,
and it's happening. That's I mean, how about that? Yeah.
They set up a website for it called The Between
dot Film. That's the name of the movie, is The
Between and Now in the post dot com bubble days,
you can call your website dot anything. So again it's

(02:41):
the Between dot Film and it will give you some
information on the story. There's even a link to last
year's Halloween episode, so if you want to go listen
to it, go to that site and find it. And
they set up a crowdfunding um uh project to help
fund the project, and if you kick in you can
get things like obviously the movie when they complete it. Sure,

(03:04):
you can get signed scripts, even a credit in the movie.
There's a lot of stuff you can get that they're offering.
And the movie slated to come out February fourteen, two
thousand and eighteen as it stands right now. Man, that's great,
Like that's it's really on track to go. So um
things are coming up for the Grabster, and he gave

(03:24):
us another great story that I'm I would be surprised
if it doesn't get turned into a movie untially as well. Yeah,
I guess that producer said, I love the story, but
that title's gotta go. Yeah, No one knows how to
say that. We're just gonna call it the Between. Cool title,
but the Between is definitely a little more marketable, and
I think in today's modern world than Latin. Yeah, we

(03:45):
ought to uh, we ought to get a kickback on that. Huh.
You know I didn't bring it up. I was hoping
he would, but he, uh, he hasn't so far. No,
we're happy to be de facto executive producers. Yeah, we
could also be facto though if they give us, you know,
credits in the in the film, maybe a special thanks

(04:05):
at the end. Yeah, playing money like I owe my
life to these guys. All right, yeah, all right, Well
you're ready to read his newest one, the Grabster's newest story.
That's right. It is called Gifts, not g I F
F S G I F T S. Right. That was

(04:27):
a good creepy t thank you. So we're gonna start,
and Jerry, as ever, is going to pull out all
the stops and add all the bells and whistles to
scare the Bejesus out of you while we're reading this. So,
without further ado, there's Gifts by the Grabster. I'm here

(04:51):
about the housekeeping job. I'm Marissa called earlier. I reached
out to shake the man's hand, but he kept his
face on the paperwork. He was shuffling, holding out an
up raised index finger in my direction. I returned my
hand to my side. Finally, he stacked the papers and
looked up at me. You'll want to speak to my wife.
Then she's handling those arrangements. She's gone to the market,

(05:11):
but should be back any moment. If you'd like to wait,
There's a sitting room at the top of the stairs.
He nodded briskly and moved on to some other towns.
A wide staircase of dark, varnished wood led to an
upstairs hallway running to my left and right. The ornate
wallpaper was striped by alternating shafts of shadow and sunlight
coming through open doors, except at one end of the hall.

(05:33):
There the doors were closed in the hallway and folded
in shadow. Directly ahead of me was an open archway
leading to the sitting room, a sunlit chamber with a fireplace,
a number of well crafted but time worn leather chairs,
a row of bookshelves stacked with volumes, and a small
table set up for a game of chess. A young
boy roughly six years old was sitting in one of

(05:54):
the chairs, a large book spread out in his lap.
He looked up as I entered. Hello, he said, are
you a guest? No? I told him I've come about
the housekeeping job. Do you mind a little company I've
got to wait for your mother. Okay, his smile brighton.
It'll be good to have someone to help again. Mom
gets stressed when she has to do it all herself,

(06:14):
along with the shopping and everything. My name is Robert,
but everyone calls me Bobby. My name is Marissa. What's
that you're reading? Bobby? He tilted the book up so
I could see the title A sign on Rosie's door.
What's it about a girl who becomes someone else and
takes her friends on adventures? I had an adventure this week.
Do you want to see what I found? Without waiting

(06:35):
for me to answer, he hopped off the chair, setting
the book down behind him, and ran past me through
the archway into the hall on his short legs. Don't
follow him, I turned to follow, seeing him head off
down the brighter half of the corridor. It's in my room,
he called out, then disappeared into one of the open doorways.
By the time I got there, he was crawling underneath

(06:56):
the bed. It was clearly his room, decorated with racing
cars and car tune characters. He emerged clutching would appeared
to be a pillow. I had a dream the other
night that I was in the dark, and no matter
where I crawled around, I couldn't get out of the dark.
It was cool inside wherever I was, but so dark,
so black, I couldn't see anything. When I woke up,
I was holding this. He held the pillow out to me.

(07:18):
It was oddly shaped, more narrow than the usual pillow,
and it was made of white satin, with a satin
ruffle around the edge. I took it and held it up,
humoring the child's tall tail. But I noticed the pillow
was stained in the center, a yellowish brown mark in
a rough oval shape. That's when I realized what it was.
It was a pillow from a burial casket. Bobby, where

(07:41):
did you get this? I tried to keep from sounding alarmed.
When I woke from my dream, I was lying on
top of it, holding it with both arms. He gave
it to me. I heard footsteps coming down the hall
behind me and turned to see a small framed woman
with graying black hair striding towards me. I handed the
pillow back to Bobby ms leventus. She said yes. I
stuck out my hand again, this time getting a soft

(08:02):
handshake in return. Bobby's been showing me around. I looked
back at the child who sat on the edge of
his bed smiling, the pillow nowhere to be seen. All right,
I don't like the sounds of Bobby. Uh No, not
with this little burial casket stained pillow or his short,
stubby legs, which is creepy all by itself. I got

(08:24):
the job, That's great. My husband didn't exactly sound joyful
at the news. To be honest, neither did I. Working
at Shipped in Grains Hotel for the summer was a
necessity and something of a hardship. The hotel was two
hundred miles away from our home, and I'd only be
able to afford the train back to visit once or
twice a week in the four months i'd be working there.

(08:47):
But times are hard for everyone, and most had it
harder than us. Still, knowing this meant I'd be apart
from John for the entire summer tempered my enthusiasm, and
I could hear in his voice, even over the phone line,
more relief and weariness than glee. We sure needed. It's
a nice place, old kind of fussy. Mrs Taggart is nice,

(09:08):
and the young boy Bobby is I paused about to say,
he's a bit odd, but it felt like gossiping about
a child, so I told John. He's very inquisitive, but
it wasn't what I meant. It's a lot for you
to do this, John said, that will help in the
long run. It's hard to be a part though. I
love you Mayor, I smiled, looking out the window at

(09:31):
the tidy gardens in front of shipped and Grange, dissolving
into shadows as twilight set in. I love you too, John.
I'm glad you got that sappy party. Don't worry about Bobby.
Mrs Tiggert was walking me through the hotel, showing me
what my duties would include, in which room I'd be

(09:52):
staying in on the ground floor near the kitchen. She
stopped awkwardly, placing a hand at my elbow. His imagination
is a new usual at times, but he's a kind boy,
he really is, which was true. I think he never
showed me the funeral pillow again. And Bobby would often
appear around a corner at the doorway of a room
I was cleaning, clutching something odd. He was so eager

(10:15):
to show me and didn't seem to have other friends,
so I let him linger around while I worked In truth,
he was more pleasant company than either of his parents,
whom I found stiff and formal. They rarely spoke to
me at all about anything not directly related to my job.
This was under my hat when I took it off
this morning, Bobby said. One afternoon, he held out a

(10:35):
small pile of coins, worn and blackened with age Latin
writing barely legible on the faces. Those must be terribly valuable.
I said, Oh, I can't sell them. His face was
very serious. Mr. Sorrow says their mind to keep children

(10:56):
have their flights of fancy and imaginary friends, especially child
free to rome in old the state, like shipped in Grange.
But when Bobby said that name, I felt something on
the back of my neck, like a kiss that barely
grazes the skin. Mr Sorrow. My voice was just a whisper. Yes,
Bobby Grint, he's very tall. We were in room thirty three,

(11:17):
which was named the uttermost End, being the last room
at the end of the longest third floor corridor. The
light was always bad in that room. The whole section
of corridor had a dim greenish quality to it. It
wasn't simply that the light was insufficient, but rather that
it felt incorrect. The shadows fell at the wrong angles,
and the sun, when seen reflecting on a window pane

(11:39):
or crystal decanter, appeared as a dull orange hole board
into the sky. As we spoke, Bobby's shadow seemed to
stretch to reach across the room, as if to unfold me.
He closed a small fist around the coins and ran off.
The deep, disconcerting shadows remained. I remade the bed covers
quickly and hurried to leave. No one had stayed in

(11:59):
the the Most End in the time I've been working
at Shifting Grange. Maybe it's because they called it the
uttermost End. It's not the best name for a room.
They're like, you'll like it. The lighting is incorrect. Even
Mary and Joseph would have been like, that's okay, we'll
go out into the manger. You just keep that. I

(12:19):
don't like the sounds of Mr Sorrow either. By the way,
I woke up with hands on my throat this morning.
John said, ice cold. What did someone break in? There
was no one there. It must have been a nightmare.
My heart was racing, though, I'd imagine, so check the
windows around the house before bed tonight, then just to

(12:40):
humor me, I will. I think I'll sleep like a
stone tonight. We've fallen behind on orders at the plant,
and machine four went down again. I'm pulling my hair out.
John hung up the phone on his end, and I
listened to the silence on the line for a while,
the hum and whisper of currents and the echoes of
a thousand voices. Later that week, I was cleaning the

(13:02):
main dining room, Bobby playing at the table behind me
with some wooden army men he'd found in the attic.
The clatter of his toys had fallen silent, but I
didn't notice until Missus Tagger walked in. She looked at me,
then her gaze moved behind me, her eyes widening Bobby.
She hissed quietly. I turned to see Bobby standing very
close behind me, clutching in his hand a gleaming steel blade.

(13:25):
Is that from the kitchen, Mrs Taggart said. Bobby's face
turned sullen. No. He dropped the knife, climbing to the
floor and ran from the room. Mrs Taggert collected the blade,
turning it over in her hands. It appeared to be
finally made, though it for a dark stain she carried
it straight out to the trash bins in the rear yard.
That boy ain't right, you know. That's the that's the

(13:48):
turning point right there. In midsummer, the weather grew hot
and close, but shade trees and thick walls kept the
oldest state quite cool. John and I still spoke on
the phone every night, and I plan to return home
for a weekend in just two weeks. It was nearly
all I could think about at night. I would lie
in bed, waiting for sleep, trying to slow my breathing,

(14:08):
taking in the sugar sweet smell from the elder shrubs
growing all around the open window. I'd often awakened hours later,
staring into the blind darkness of a strange room in
a strange town, and feel the weight of loneliness settle
on my chest like a stone. In those moments, soft
fingers of shadow would trace my jawline and collar bone

(14:29):
with the familiarity of a lover, and I spoke to
voices I could barely hear. One evening, after completing my
work for the day, I found Bobby rolling a small
rubber ball slowly up and down the upstairs hallway. Would
you like to play catch, I said. His face lit
up with delight, and he took up a position ten
meters down the hall from me. It's Canadian. We rolled

(14:52):
and bounced the ball back and forth for some time,
Bobby letting out the first really genuine laughter I'd heard
from him. My back was to the long, dim expanse
of the corridor leading to the uttermost end, but I
hadn't really thought about it until the door to one
of the other rooms just behind me slowly opened. I
saw it swing open from the corner of my eye

(15:14):
Room twenty seven, the Prince's chamber. I watched the gaping
doorway for a moment. When no one emerged, I called
out missus Taggart. There was no reply, but Bobby giggled
behind me and the ball rolled slowly past me, coming
to a stop in front of Room twenty seven. I
crept forward to retrieve it. Crouching to pick up the ball.

(15:37):
As I stooped in front of the empty, darkened room,
I was engulfed in a frigid chill. I stuffed my
hands into my pockets and returned to Bobby. With my
right hand, I tossed the ball. When I pulled my
left hand from my pocket. I realized I was holding something.
It was a pair of scissors. The orange plastic candle

(15:58):
had been melted and blackened by fire. The blades were
clean and sharp. I've never seen them before. Oh man.
The next day I was cleaning the dust from beneath
one of the guest beds. I like how Ed brings
us along on the cleaning. Oh yeah, just keep us

(16:19):
up to date. The next day, I was cleaning the
dust from beneath one of the guest beds, and as
I reached for the rag i'd set down, something else
materialized in my hand. I don't mean to say that
I reached out and grasped an object. I mean that
my empty hand suddenly and inexplicably had something in it.
It had a dry, papery feel, and drawing my hand

(16:40):
out from under the bed, I saw that it was
an old scrap of newspaper. There was no date on it,
as the top edge was torn and nothing on it
seemed to be of any significance. Advertisements for a furniture
shop in an article about a winter storm. In the
center of the paper, a hole had been torn through.
Looking more closely, I could see that it was actually
a bite mark. Someone had showed through the center of

(17:02):
a piece of old newspaper. Mr Sorrow is giving gifts
to you now, Miss Marissa. It was Bobby in the doorway,
dark circles under his eyes. He stood and watched me
for an uncomfortably long time. I threw the newspaper away.
Oh boy, I'm getting creeped out here. Just one more

(17:25):
week until I can see you again. I know, I
really can't wait. I've got a nice dinner plan and
we can walk down by the star set like we
used to. The water is so green this time of year.
There was the joy that had been missing from John's
voice earlier in the summer, and I'll confess it made
my heart swell to hear it. That sounds wonderful. Are
things getting better at the factory a bit? I'm not

(17:48):
sleeping well, though, John said. I guess it's just that
the house feels empty without you here. I'm consistently awakened
in the middle of the night by the feeling of
someone lying in the bed beside me. But of course
there's no one there. Someone will be there soon enough.
I was trying to be reassuring, but it came out wrong.
Me I mean, John laughed, of course you uh yeah,

(18:12):
you better hope it's her, right, John, of course it's you.
All right, he sounds bully convinced. All right, let me
bring it home. Mm hmm. I was awakened by a scream.
Mrs Taggart was wailing, and I ran toward the sound,
groggy from sleep and stumbling over furniture in the darkness.

(18:33):
She was in Bobby's room. The bed was empty, and
she was crouched halfway out the open window. Bobby, she
cried out into the night. I stood there, halfway through
the door, stunned. The window opened via a hand crank,
The handle detached for safety, and the socket was too
high for Bobby to reach in any case. Mr Taggart
ran past me down the corridor, and I followed him

(18:55):
downstairs into the cool night air. Bobby was crumpled on
the lawn, his right folded under him, his face bloody,
but he was alive. He'll be all right. Mr Taggart
called up to his wife, who was still sobbing in
the window. Call for the doctor. Then Mrs Taggart shrieked,
glaring at me across the wide lawn. At that moment,
I noticed something in my hand, the hand crank for

(19:18):
the window. I stammered and dropped it. I was sound asleep,
I swear. I ran back into the house for the phone,
not thinking clearly, not knowing what to do. So I
rang John. I needed to hear his voice, mayor he
sounded sleepy. John. Something horrible happened. Bobby fell out the window,
but I had the crank to open it in my hand.
I don't know how it got there, but I was asleep, John,

(19:40):
I was asleep. Calmed down, Love, take a breath and
explain it again. I don't really under. John's voice was
cut off by a sharp hitch in his breath, a
sort of short cough, John, John, are you there? The
only sound over the phone line was a soft, wet
whistling repeated in a slow rhythmic pattern. I felt something

(20:02):
in my hand just then, something warm like my fingers
were wrapped in hair, heavy weight dangling below on the phone.
The whistling sound faded to a low gurgle, and I screamed.
And I screamed while something hot and wet splashed onto
my legs and ran down my feet. But I refused
to look down. I refused to see what it was

(20:23):
in my hand, and the voice on the phone was
familiar and cold. It was not John, and I just screamed, Wow, boom,
holy cow. That is how it's done. If you're a
horror Somewhere in Canada, a microphone was just dropped. Where

(20:44):
did you go, Grabster? That was good stuff. Oh daddy,
that's a good one. I think that could would make
a at the very least of wonderful short film. Agreed. Uh,
it's gonna be a tough one to follow. It's going
to take a literal horror classic to follow that one.
And we'll get to that right after our eight minute
commercial break. Hey we're back. Yes, we should set this

(21:07):
one up a little bit. It's called The Yellow Wallpaper
by Charlotte Perkins Gilman and it is one of our
classic old stories that we used to do some of
these and published first in New England magazine. And this
is um can only be considered early work of feminist literature.

(21:29):
And what it really is clearly is a statement on
the treatment of women at the time. You know, Oh yeah,
for sure, clearly, um. And it must have been when
was it originally published? This is very brave to have
published this because super brave. The author Charlotte Perkins Perkins
Gilman is definitely um almost poking fun at the status

(21:53):
quo between men and women UM at the time by
by making your character just so fully bought into it
that she's not even really questioning it at first. While
she's questioning it, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, she's
questioning the details, but not the structure that is giving
rise to the details. Yeah, and she's clearly not too
shy about making her statement. It's not you don't have

(22:15):
to read between too many lines, you know. I like
it to good story. And I believe this one's been
made into a movie on Netflix if I'm not miss
Oh really, I'm pretty sure I saw the Yellow Wallpaper
on Netflix. Yeah, alright, the yellow Wallpaper. Here we go.

(22:37):
It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John
and myself secure ancestral halls for the summer, a colonial mansion,
hereditary estate. I would say, a haunted house, and reach
the height of romantic felicity. That would be asking too
much of fate. Still, I will proudly declare that there
is something queer about it. Else why should it be

(22:57):
let so cheaply? And why I have stood so long untenanted.
That's sort of a mouthful, huh, it really is. It's
a lul for no one rents this place. John laughs
at me, of course, but one expects that in marriage.
John is practical in the extreme. He has no patience
and faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs

(23:20):
openly at any talk of things not to be felt
and seen and put down in figures. John is a physician,
and perhaps I would not say it to a living soul,
of course, but this is dead paper and a great
relief to my mind. Perhaps that is one reason I
do not get well faster. You see, he does not

(23:40):
believe I am sick. And what can one do If
a physician of high standing and one's own husband assures
friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter
with one but temporary nervous depression, a slight hysterical tendency,
what is one to do. My brother is also a physician,
and also of high standing, and he says the same thing.

(24:02):
So I take phosphates or phosph fights, whichever it is,
and tonics and journeys and air and exercise, and I'm
absolutely forbidden to work until I am well again. By
the way she put work in quotation marks, which I
think was quite policy for the time. Yeah, little cynical,
for personally I disagree with their ideas. Personally I believe

(24:26):
that congenial work, with excitement and change would do me good.
But what is one to do. I did write for
a while in spite of them, but it does exhaust
me a good deal having to be so sly about
it or else be met with heavy opposition. I sometimes
fancy that, in my condition, if I had less opposition
and more society and stimulus. But John says, the very

(24:48):
worst thing I can do is to think about my condition,
and I confess it always makes me feel bad. So
I will let it alone and talk about the house,
the most beautiful place. It is quite alone, standing well
back from the road, quite three miles from the village.
It makes me think of English places that you read about.
For there are hedges and walls and gates that lock,

(25:08):
and lots of separate little houses for the gardeners and people.
There is a delicious garden. I never saw such a garden,
large and shady, full of box bordered paths and line
with long grape covered arbors with seats under them. There
were greenhouses too, but they're all broken now. There was
some legal trouble. I believe something about the airs and
co airs. Anyhow, the place has been empty for years

(25:30):
that spoils my ghostliness. I'm afraid, but I don't care.
There's something strange about the house. I can feel it.
I even said so to John one moonlit evening, but
he said what I felt was a draft and shut
the window. I get unreasonably angry with John sometimes. I'm
sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think
it is due to the nervous condition. But John says
if I feel so, I shall neglect proper self control.

(25:54):
So I take pains to control myself before him at least,
and that makes me very tired. I don't like our
room a bit. I wanted one downstairs that opened on
the piazza and had roses all over the window and
such pretty old fashioned chintz hangings. But John would not
hear of it. He said there was only one window,
and not room for two beds. Nice touch, and no

(26:17):
near room for him if he took another. He is
very careful and loving and hardly lets me stir without
special direction. I have a schedule, prescription for each hour
in the day. He takes all care from me, so
I feel basely ungrateful not to value it more. He said.
We came here solely on my account, that I was
to have perfect rest and all the air I could get.

(26:39):
Your exercise depends on your strengthen my idea, he said,
like that, and your food somewhat on your appetite. But
air you can absorb all the time. So we took
the nursery at the top of the house. It was
a big airy room, the whole floor nearly with windows
that look always and air and sunshine galore. It was
a nursery first, and then play room and aymnasium, I

(27:01):
should judge, for the windows are barred for little children,
and there are rings and things in the walls. The
paint and paper look as if a boy's school had
used it. It is stripped off the paper and great
patches all around the head of my bed, about as
far as I can reach, and in a great place
on the other side of the room low down. I
never saw a worse paper in my life. One of

(27:23):
those sprawling, flamboyant patterns, committing every artistic sin it is
dull enough to confuse the eye, and following pronounced enough
to constantly irritate and provoke study. And when you follow
the lame, uncertain curves for a little distance, they suddenly
commit suicide, plunge off at outrageous angles, destroy themselves, and
unheard of contradictions. The color is repellent, almost revolting, a smoldering,

(27:49):
unclean yellow, strangely faded by the slow turning sunlight. It
is a dull yet lurid orange, in some places, a
sickly sulfur tin in others. No wonder the children hated it.
I should hate it myself if I had to live
in this room long. There comes John. I must put
this away. He hates to have me write a word,

(28:10):
all right, not bad. It sounds to me early on
like this lady is already a prisoner in this room,
a prisoner in her life. Maybe even Chuck, you could say,
I think so, I don't. John strikes me. He's one
of those doctors. It's like, uh, you know, just breathe
into this bag for a bit and you'll be fine.
Don't question me, or I'll have you surgically murdered. All right,

(28:32):
take it away, We've been here two weeks, and I
haven't felt like writing before since that first day. I'm
sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious nursery,
and there's nothing to hinder my writing as much as
I please, save lack of strength. John is away all
day and even some nights when his cases are serious.
I'm glad my case is not serious, but these nervous

(28:54):
troubles are dreadfully depressing. John does not know how much
I really suffer. He knows there is no reason to suffer,
and that satisfies it. Of course, it is only nervousness.
It does weigh on me so not to do my
duty in any way. I'm meant to be such a
help to John, such a real rest and comfort, and
here I am a comparative burden. Already. Nobody would believe

(29:16):
what an effort it is to do what little I
am able to dress and entertain and order things. It
is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby, such
a dear baby, and yet I cannot be with him.
It makes me so nervous. I suppose John never was
nervous in his life. He laughs at me so about
this wallpaper. At first, he meant to repaper the room.

(29:38):
But afterwards he said that I was letting it get
the better of me, and that nothing was worse for
a nervous patient than to give way to such fancies.
He said that after the wallpaper was changed, it would
be the heavy bedstead, and then the barred windows, and
then the gate at the head of the stairs and
so on. You know, this place is doing you good,
he said. And really, dear, I don't care to renovate
the house, just for three months rental. Then let us

(30:01):
go downstairs. I said, there's such pretty rooms there. Then
he took me in his arms, and he called me
a blessed little goose, and he said he would go
down to the cellar if I wished, and have it
whitewashed into the bargain. But he has right enough about
the beds and windows and things. It is an airy
and comfortable room as anyone need wish. And of course
I would not be so silly as to make him

(30:22):
uncomfortable just for a whim. I'm really getting quite fond
of the big room, all about that horrid paper. Out
of one window I can see the garden, those mysterious
deep shaded arbors, the riotous old fashioned flowers and bushes
and gnarly trees. Out of another, I get a lovely
view of the bay. In a little private wharf belonging
to the estate. There is a beautiful shaded lane that

(30:44):
runs down there from the house. I always fancy that
I see people walking in these numerous paths and arbors.
But John has cautioned me not to give way to
fancy in the least. He says that with my imaginative
power and habit of story making, a nervous weakness like
mine is sure to lead to all manner of excited fancies,
and that I ought to use my will in good
sense to check the tendency. So I try. I think

(31:07):
sometimes that if I were only well enough to write
a little, it would relieve the press of ideas and
rest me. But I find I get pretty tired when
I try. It is so discouraging not to have any
advice and companionship about my work. When I get really well,
John says we will ask cousin Henry and Julia down
for a long visit. But he says he would as
soon put fireworks in my pillow cases to let me

(31:28):
have those stimulating people about. Now. I wish I would
get well faster, but I must not think about that.
This paper looks to me as if it knew what
a vicious influence it had. There's a recurrent spot where
the patterned laws like a broken neck, two bulbous eyes
that stare at you upside down. I get positively angry
with the impertinence of it, and the everlasting nous. Up

(31:50):
and down in sideways they crawl, and those absurd, unblinking
eyes are everywhere. There is one place where two breaths
didn't match, and the eyes go all up and on
the line, one a little higher than the other. I
never saw so much expression in an inanimate thing before,
and we all know how much expression they have. I
used to lie awake as a child and get more

(32:11):
entertainment and terror out of blank walls and plain furniture
than most children could find in a toy store. I
remember what kindly wink the knobs of our big old
bureau used to have. And there was one chair that
always seemed like a strong friend. He used to feel
that if any of the other things looked too fierce,
I could always hop into that chair and be safe.
The furniture in this room is no worse than inharmonious, however,

(32:34):
for we had to bring it all from downstairs. I
suppose when this was used as a playroom they had
to take the nursery things out, And no wonder, I
never saw such ravages as the children have made here.
The wallpaper, as I said before, is torn off in spots,
and it sticketh closer than a brother. They must have
had perseverance as well as hatred. Then the floor is
scratched and gouged and splintered. The plaster itself is dug

(32:57):
out here or there. And this great heavy bed, which
is all we found in the room, looks as if
it has been through the wars. But I don't mind
it a bit, only the paper. There comes John's sister.
Such a dear girl as she is, and so careful
of me, I must not let her find me writing.
She's a perfect and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for no

(33:18):
better profession. I verily believe she thinks it is the
writing which made me sick. But I can write when
she is out and see her A long way off
from these windows. There's one that commands the road, a
lovely shaded, winding road, and one that just looks off
over the country, A lovely country too, full of elms
and velvet meadows. This wallpaper has a kind of sub

(33:39):
pattern in a different shade, particularly irritating one, for you
can only see it in certain lights, and not clearly then,
but in the places where it isn't faded, where the
sun is just so, I can see a strange, provoking,
formless sort of figure that seems to skulk about behind
that silly and conspicuous front design. There's sister on the stairs.

(34:03):
Do you ever call uh? You me a blessed little goose? Yeah?
Every day. I couldn't believe the lady took the words
right out of my mouth. How does that go over?
It doesn't go over? Well, I have shin splints from
all right, So the lady is here she uh we
now have learned that her sister in law is the
housekeeper and nanny of her baby. That she doesn't see right,

(34:26):
and she's in this room going a little nuts? Was
she well to begin with? Who knows? Well? I don't know.
I think the fact that she's saying like I've always
considered furniture capable of moving and possessing a personality. I
don't know if you call that nuts, but maybe she
has an imagination. The groundwork is there, all right. Here

(34:47):
we go. Well, the fourth of July is over. The
people are gone, and I am tired out. John did
put fireworks in my pillow case. I'm just kidding. The
people are gone and I am tired out. John thought
it might do me some good to see a little company,
so we just had Mother and Nelly and the children
down for a week. Of course, I didn't do a thing.

(35:10):
Jenny sees to everything now, but it tired me all
the same. John says, if I don't pick up faster,
he shall send me over to Weir Mitchell and the Fall.
But I don't want to go there at all. I
had a friend who was in his hands once, and
she says he is just like John and my brother,
only more so, that is to say, a nineteenth century man. Besides,

(35:31):
it is such an undertaking to go so far. I
don't feel as if it was worth while to turn
my hand over for anything, And I'm getting dreadfully fretful
and querulous. I cry it nothing and cry most at
the time. Of course, I don't want John is here
or anybody else. But when I am alone, and I'm
alone a good deal. Just now. John is kept in

(35:53):
town very often by serious cases. And Jenny is good
and lets me alone when I want her too. So
I walk a little in the garden or down that
lovely lane, sit on the porch under the roses, and
lie down up here. A good deal. I'm getting really
fond of the room, in spite of the wallpaper. Perhaps
because of the wallpaper, it dwells in my mind. So

(36:16):
I lie here on this great immovable bed. It is
nailed down, I believe, and follow that pattern about by
the hour. It is as good as gymnastics, I assure you.
I start, will say at the bottom, down in the
corner over there, where it has not been touched, and
I determine for the thousandth time that I will follow

(36:36):
that pointless pattern to some sort of conclusion. I know
a little of the principle of design, and I know
this thing was not arranged on any laws of radiation
or alternation or repetition or symmetry or anything else that
I've ever heard of. It is repeated, of course by
the breadths, but not otherwise looked at. In one way,
each breath stands alone. The bloated curves and wishes kind

(37:01):
of debased Romanesque with delirium. Tremens go waddling up and
down in isolated columns of fatuity. But on the other hand,
they connect diagonally, and the sprawling outlines run off in
great slanting ways of optic horror, like a lot of
wallowing seaweeds in full chase. The whole thing goes horizontally too,

(37:22):
at least it seems so, and I exhaust myself in
trying to distinguish the order of its going in that direction.
They have used a horizontal breadth for a frieze, and
that adds wonderfully to the confusion. There is one end
of the room where it is almost intact, and there,
when the cross lights fade and the low sun shines
directly upon it, I can almost fancy radiation. After all,

(37:46):
the interminable grotesque seemed to form around a common center
and rush off and headlong plunges of equal distraction. It
makes me tired to follow it. I will take a nap.
I guess I don't know why I should write this.
I don't want to. I don't feel able, and I
know John would think it's absurd, But I must say
what I feel and think in some way. It is

(38:07):
such a relief, But the effort is getting to be
greater than the relief half the time. Now I am
awfully lazy and lie down ever so much. John says
I mustn't lose my strength, and has me take cod,
liver oil and lots of tonics and things, to say
nothing of ale and wine and rare meat. Dear John,
he loves me very dearly and hates to have me sick.

(38:31):
I tried to have a real, earnest, reasonable talk with
him the other day and tell him how I wish
you would let me go and make a visit to
cousin Henry and Julia. But he said I wasn't able
to go, nor able to stand it after I got there.
And I did not make out a very good case
for myself, for I was crying before I had finished.
Is getting to be a great effort for me to

(38:52):
think straight, just this nervous weakness, I suppose, And dear
John gathered me up in his arms and just carried
me upstairs and laid me on the bed and sat
by me and read to me till get tired. My
poor little goose head sorry. I feel terrible for this lady.
I do, and it just really is suffering from like

(39:15):
massive depression, yeah for sure. And and on top of that,
she's being locked in her room that's driving her nuts
by her husband. Yeah, I think that's the problem here.
He said I was his darling and his comfort and
all he had, and that I must take care of
myself for his sake and keep well. He says, yeah,
because it's all about John, right right, get better for me.

(39:37):
Why can't you just get better? He says, No one
but myself can help me out of it. That I
must use my will and self control and not let
any silly fancies run away with me. There's one comfort.
The baby is well and happy and does not have
to occupy this nursery with that horrid wall paper. If
we had not used it, that blessed child would have

(39:59):
What a fortunate escape. Why I wouldn't have a child
of mine, an impressionable little thing, live in such a
room for worlds. I never thought of it before, But
it is lucky that John kept me here. After all.
I can stand it so much easier than a baby,
you see. Of course I never mentioned it to them anymore.
I am too wise, but I keep watching it all

(40:20):
the same. There are things in that paper that nobody
knows but me, or ever will. Behind that outside pattern,
the dim shapes get clearer every day. It is always
the same shape, only very numerous. And it is like
a woman stooping down and creeping about behind that pattern.
I don't like it a bit, I wonder. I begin

(40:41):
to think. I wish John would take me away from here.
It is so hard to talk to John about my case,
because he is so wise, because he loves me so
But I tried. Last night, it was moonlight. The moon
shines in all around, just as the sun does. I
hate to see it. Sometimes it creeps so slowly and
always comes in by one window or another. John was asleep,

(41:04):
and I hated to waken him, so I kept still
and watched the moonlight on that undulating wallpaper until I
felt creepy. The faint figure behind seemed to shake the pattern,
just as if she wanted to get out. I got
up softly and went to feel and see if the
paper did move. When I came back, John was awake.
What is it, little girl? He said, don't go walking

(41:25):
about like that, you'll get cold. I thought it was
a good time to talk, so I told him that
I was really not gaining here, and that I wished
he would take me away. Why, darling, said he, or
at least will be up in three weeks, and I
can't see how to leave before the repairs are not
done at home, and I cannot possibly leave town just now.
Of course, if you were in any danger, I could

(41:45):
and would. But you really are better, dear, whether you
can see it or not. I am a doctor, dear,
and I know you are gaining flesh and color. Your
appetite is better. I feel really much easier about you.
I don't weigh a bit more, or said I, nor
as much, and my appetite maybe better in the evening
when you are here, but it is worse in the

(42:06):
morning when you were away. Bless her little heart, said he,
with a big hug. She shall be as sick as
she pleases. But now let's improve the shining hours by
going to sleep and talk about it in the morning.
And you won't go away, I asked gloomily, How can I, dear?
It is only three weeks more, and then we will
take a nice little trip of a few days. While

(42:26):
Jeanie is getting the house ready. Really, dear, you are
better better in body? Perhaps I began and then stop short,
Or he sat up straight and looked at me with
such a stern, reproachful look that I could not say
another word. My darling, I beg of you, for my
sake and for our child's sake, as well as of
your own, that you will never, for one instant let

(42:47):
that idea enter your mind. There is nothing so dangerous,
so fascinating to a temperament like yours. It is a
false and foolish fancy. Can you not trust me as
a physician when I tell you so? So? Of course
I said no more on that score, and we went
to sleep before long. He thought I was asleep first,
but I wasn't, and lay there for hours trying to

(43:08):
decide whether that front pattern and the back pattern really
did move together or separately. On a pattern like this
by daylight, there's a lack of sequence, defines of law
that is constant irritant to a normal mind. Color is
hideous enough, and unreliable enough, and infuriating enough, but the
pattern is torturing. You think you have mastered it, but

(43:30):
just as you get well underway and following it turns
back a somersault, and there you are. It slaps you
in the face, knocks you down, and tramples you. It
is like a bad dream. The outside pattern is a
florid arabesque reminding one of a fungus. If you can
imagine a toadstool in joints, an interminable string of toadstools,
budding and sprouting and endless convolutions, why that is something

(43:54):
like it? That is, sometimes there's one marked peculiarity about
this paper, a thing nobody seems to notice but myself,
and that is that it changes as the light changes
when the sun shoots in through the east window. I
always watched for that first long straight ray. It changes
so quickly that I never can quite believe it. That

(44:14):
is why I always watch it by moonlight. The moon
shines in all night. When there is a moon, I
wouldn't know it was the same paper at night in
any kind of light, in twilight, candlelight, lamplight, and worst
of all, by moonlight, it becomes bars. The outside pattern
I mean, and the woman behind it is as plain
as can be. I didn't realize for a long time

(44:35):
what the thing was that showed behind that dim sub pattern.
But now I am quite sure it is a woman.
By daylight, she is subdued quiet. I fancy it is
the pattern that keeps her so still. It is so puzzling.
It keeps me quiet by the hour. I lie down
ever so much. Now John says it is good for
me and to sleep all I can. Indeed, he started

(44:57):
the habit by making me lie down for an hour
after each meal. It's a very bad habit, I am convinced.
For you see, I don't sleep, and that cultivates deceit
for I don't tell them I'm awake. Oh No. The
fact is I'm getting a little afraid of John. It
seems very queer sometimes, and even Jenny has an inexplicable look.

(45:18):
It strikes me occasionally just as a scientific hypothesis, but
perhaps it is the paper. All right, un she's coming
to her senses, right. I don't know if you would
call that a scientific hypothesis, but yeah, she seems to
be like, oh I mean about John, right, yeah, okay, yes,
agreed this quote position unquote mm hmm, all right. I've

(45:44):
watched John when he did not know I was looking,
and come into the room suddenly on the most innocent excuses,
and I've called him several times looking at the paper
and Jenny too. I caught Jenny with her hand on
it once. She didn't know I was in the room,
and when I asked her, in a quiet, very quiet voice,
with the most restrained manner possible, what she was doing

(46:05):
with the paper, she turned around as if she had
been caught stealing, and looked quite angry and asked me
why I should frighten her. So then she said that
the paper stained everything it touched, and she had found
yellow smooches on all my clothes and John's, and she
wished we would be more careful. Did not that sound innocent?

(46:27):
But I know she was studying that pattern, and I
am determined that nobody shall find it out. But myself,
life is very much more exciting now than it used
to be. You see, I have something more to expect,
to look forward to, to watch. I really do eat
better and more quiet than I was. John is so
pleased to see me improved. He laughed a little the

(46:47):
other day and said I seemed to be flourishing in
spite of my wallpaper. I turned it off with a laugh.
I had no intention of telling him it was because
of the wallpaper. He would make fun of me. He
might even want to take me away. I don't want
to leave now until I have found it out. There
is a week more, and I think that will be enough.
I'm feeling ever so much better. I don't sleep much

(47:10):
at night, for it is so interesting to watch the developments,
but I sleep a good deal in the daytime. In
the daytime it is tiresome and perplexing. There are always
new shoots on the fungus, and new shades of yellow
all over it. I cannot keep counting them, though I
have tried conscientiously. It is the strangest yellow that wallpaper.

(47:31):
It makes me think of all the yellow things I
ever saw, Not the beautiful ones like buttercups, but old, foul,
bad yellow things. There's something else about that paper, the smell.
I noticed it the moment we came in the room,
but with so much air and sun it was not bad.
Now we have had a week of fog and rain,
and whether the windows are open or not, the smell

(47:53):
is here. It creeps all over the house, find it
hovering in the dining room, skulking in the parlor, hiding
in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs.
It gets into my hair, even when I go to
ride by, turning my head suddenly in surprise. It there
is that smell, Such a peculiar odor too. I spend

(48:14):
hours in trying to analyze it, to find what it
smelled like. It is not bad at first, and very gentle,
but quite the subtlest, most enduring odor I ever met.
In this damp weather, it is awful. I wake up
in the night and find it hanging over me. It
used to disturb me. At first I thought seriously of

(48:35):
burning the house to reach the smell, but now I
am used to it. The only thing I can think
of that it is like is the color of the paper,
a yellow smell. There's a very funny mark on the
wall low down near the mopboard, a streak that runs
round the room. It goes behind every piece of furniture
except the bed, A long, straight, even smooch. What are

(49:00):
these smooches? I think she means like smear, smudge, Okay, smudge,
I think the old timey smudge. I'm gonna bring that back.
It goes behind every piece of furniture except the bed,
A long, straight, even smooch. As if it had been
rubbed over and over. I wonder how it was done
and who did it, and what they did it for.
Round and round and round, round and round and round.

(49:23):
It makes me dizzy. I really have discovered something at last,
through watching so much at night when it changes, so
I have finally found out the front pattern does move,
and no wonder the woman behind shakes it. Yeah, sometimes
I think there are a great many women behind, and

(49:44):
sometimes only one, and she crawls around fast, and her
crawling shakes it all over. Then in the very bright
spots she keeps still, and in the very shady spots
she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them hard,
and she's all the time haring to climb through. But
nobody could climb through that pattern. It strangles, So I

(50:05):
think that is why it has so many heads. They
get through, and then the pattern strangles them off and
turns them upside down and makes their eyes white. If
those heads were covered or taken off, it would not
be half so bad. I think that woman gets out
in the daytime, and I'll tell you why. Privately. I've
seen her. I can see her out of every one

(50:27):
of my windows, and it's the same woman I know,
for she is always creeping, and most women do not
creep by daylight. That is very true, except little gooses.
I see her on that long road under the tree,
creeping along. When a carriage comes, she hides under the
BlackBerry vines. I don't blame her a bit. It must
be very humiliating to be out creeping by daylight. I

(50:50):
always locked the door when I creep by daylight. I
can't do it at night, for I know John will
suspect something at once. And John is so queer now
that I don't want to irritate him. I wish he
would take another room. Besides, I don't want anybody to
get that woman out at night. But myself often wonder
if I could see her out of all the windows
at once, but turn as fast as I can. I

(51:12):
can only see out of one at a time, And
though I always see her, she may be able to
creep faster than I can turn. I watched her sometimes
away off in the open country, creeping as fast as
a cloud shadow in a high wind. If only that
top pattern could be gotten off from the under one,
I mean to try it a little. By little, I
found out another funny thing, but I shan't tell it

(51:35):
this time. Does not do to trust people so much.
There are only two more days to get this paper off,
and I believe John is beginning to notice. I don't
like the look in his eyes. And I heard him
ask Jenny a lot of professional questions about me. She
had a very good report to give. She said, I
slept a good deal in the daytime. John knows I
don't sleep very well at night, for all, I'm so quiet.

(51:59):
He asked me all sorts of questions too, and pretended
to be very loving and kind, as if I couldn't
see through him. Still, I don't wonder he x o
sleeping under this paper for three months. It only interests me,
but I feel sure John and Jenny are secretly affected
by it. All right, take his home, brother taken at home.

(52:22):
Come on, poor lady, let's go hurrah. This is the
last day. But it is enough John to stay in
town overnight and won't be out until this evening. Jenny
wanted to sleep with me the sly thing, but I
told her I should undoubtedly rest better for a night
all alone. That was clever, for really, I wasn't alone

(52:42):
a bit as soon as it was moonlight, and that
poor thing began to crawl and shake the pattern. I
got up and ran to help her. I pulled and
she shook. I shook and she pulled, And before morning
we had peeled off yards of that paper, a strip
about as high as my head and half around the room.
And then when the sun came, that awful pattern began
to laugh at me. I declared I would finish it

(53:03):
to day. We go away tomorrow, and they are moving
all of my furniture down again, to leave things as
they were before. Jenny looked at the wall in amazement,
but I told her merrily that I did it out
of pure fite at the vicious thing. She laughed and
said she wouldn't mind doing it herself, but I must
not get tired. How she betrayed herself that time. But
I am here, and no person touches the paper but

(53:26):
me not alive. She tried to get me out of
the room, it was too patent, but I said it
was so quiet and empty and clean now that I
believed I would lie down again and sleep all I could,
and not to wake me even for dinner. I would
call when I woke. So now she is gone and
the servants are gone and the things are gone, and
there is nothing left with that great bedstead nailed down

(53:47):
with the canvas mattress we found on it. We shall
sleep downstairs tonight and take the boat home tomorrow. I
quite enjoy the room now, but it is bare again.
How those children did tear about here? The bedstet is
fairly gnawed. But I must get to work. I have
locked the door and thrown the key down into the
front path. I don't want to go out, and I

(54:08):
don't want to have anybody come in until John comes.
I wanted to astonish him. I've got a rope up here,
and that even Jenny did not find. If that woman
does get out and tries to get away, I can
tie her. But I forgot. I could not reach far
without anything to stand on. This bed will not move.
I tried to lift it and push it until I

(54:30):
was lame, and then I got so angry. I bit
off a little piece at one corner, but it hurt
my teeth. Then I peeled off all the paper I
could reach standing on the floor. It sticks horribly, and
the pattern just enjoys it. All those strangled heads and
bulbous eyes and waddling fungus growths to shriek with derision.
I'm getting angry enough to do something desperate. To jump

(54:51):
out the window would be an admirable exercise, but the
bars are too strong to even try. Besides, I wouldn't
do it, of course, not. I know well enough that
a step like that is improper. It might be misconstrued.
I don't like to look out the windows even There
are so many of those creeping women, and they creep
so fast. I wonder if they all come out of
that wallpaper as I did. But I am securely fastened

(55:15):
now by my well hidden rope. You don't get me
out into the road there. I suppose I shall have
to get back behind the pattern when it comes at night,
and that is hard. It is so pleasant to be
out in this great room and creep around as I please.
I don't want to go outside. I won't even if
Jenny asks me to. For outside, you have to creep
on the ground, and everything is green instead of yellow.

(55:37):
But here I can creep smoothly on the floor, and
my shoulder just fits in that long smooch around the wall,
so I cannot lose my way. Why there's John at
the door. It is no use, young man. You can't
open it. How he does call and pound. Now he's
crying for an axe. It would be ashamed to break
down that beautiful door, John dear, said I, in the

(55:57):
gentlest voice. The key is down by the front steps
under a plantain leaf. That silenced him for a few moments.
Then he said, very quietly, indeed, opened the door, my darling,
I can't, said I. The key is down by the
front door, under a plantain leaf. And then I said
it again several times, very gently and slowly, and said
it so often that he had to go and see.

(56:19):
And he got it, of course, and he came in.
He stopped short by the door. What is the matter,
he cried, for God's sake, what are you doing? I
kept on creeping just the same, But I looked at
him over my shoulder. I've got out at last, said I,
in spite of you and Jane. And I've pulled off
most of the paper, so you can't put me back. Now.
Why should that man have fainted? But he did, and

(56:41):
right across my path by the wall, so that I
had to creep over him every time. Alrighty, that was
a good story. Creeping she she became part of the wallpaper. Yeah,

(57:02):
and I love how um Madam Perkins Uh to switch
suddenly where your brains like, wait, what happened? And then
it starts to sink in. It's great stuff. Yeah, very
creepy uh and quite a feminist statement. Like I said,
you don't have to read between any lines on that one.
Um yeah, being held behind bars Yeah yeah. Uh. Well,

(57:24):
happy Halloween everybody, Thanks for joining us. We hope you
liked this one. Yeah, and this one uh is released
right on Halloween, which is always nice. It is perfect,
as they say, so until the next episode. If you
want to get in touch with us, you can tweet
to us at Josh m Clark and at s y
s K podcast. You can join us on Facebook dot com,

(57:44):
slash stuff you Should Know and slash Charles W. Chuck Bryant.
You can send us a spooky email to Stuff Podcast
at how stuff Works dot com and has always joined
us at our home on the web, Stuff you Should
Know dot com. For more on this and thousands of

(58:06):
other topics, visit how Stuff Works dot com.