February 7, 2023 • 42 mins
On the fifth episode of Table for Two, Chelsea Handler shows us just how different her life is from ours: she once marooned a coked out travel companion in a Maryland motel on day two of a cross-country journey; she put her house on the market during Covid to get rid of her family; bought another house (far, far away) over FaceTime; and interrogated her dad about her dowry at the ripe young age of four. And yet, she’s also a woman of the people who loves simple things like the missionary position and jumpsuits. Just don’t expect her to fly in coach … Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Some I'm driving down Sunset Boulevard this morning, feeling tired,
running on fumes, and then suddenly, boom, the beaches come
on and the Tony Mannaromie pops and I am jamming
and so ready for today's lunch, because today we're having
lunch with Chelsea Handler. And she is a force. She
(00:21):
is an author, she is a comedian. She has a
point of view, she's not afraid to share her So
today we are going to have a great lunch at
the Sunset Tower Bar, one of my favorites, as you
know by now, and I hope you enjoyed. Oh, I
see a blong beauty who the party is. Chelsea, of course,
(00:49):
just exudes joy when she walks in the room. She's
wearing an amazing navy jumpsuit and looks absolutely gorgeous. I'm
so psyched to be sitting with delicious. Chelsea's regularly here
at the Tower Bar, and everyone is so happy to
see her. And if you work in the restaurant, is
(01:10):
she is not only the type of celebrity you want,
she's just the type of customer you want. She's not fussy,
she's not precious, she's super nice and she just brightens
up the joint. You know, I was looking at Eric's mullett.
Eric's our server here today. Yeah, he has a handsome
and he hasn't those of you who can't see this
(01:32):
podcast because it's a podcast and he's from Wisconsin that
we were talking about the return of the mullets. Oh yeah, yeah,
I do. I've seen it and he was the first
one who told me about it last week when I'm sorry,
brought it back. That's that's how I feel about jumpsuits.
I just didn't want to say that. I didn't want
to toot my own home. So pull up a chair.
(01:53):
Today is bound to get a little rowdy. I'm Bruce
Bozzy and this is my podcast table for two. Hi,
Bruce Bossy. This is a really exciting day here to
everyone who's on the other side of this mic, because
I'm sitting with you know, you look fucking gorgeous. Chelsea Handler,
(02:16):
Thank you, Hi. Hi, you're in this like navy. I
love it. Jumpsuit, I mean, who doesn't love a jumpsuit? Yeah,
well that's like a female comedians uniform. These days, we're
all wearing them for some reason. Really, I mean, I've
been wearing a jumpsuit for on stage for about two
uh two to four years now it's kind of turned
into my outfit. I wore one recently last weekend that
(02:38):
I bought at American let's say on that vintage store. Yeah,
good American. No, that's Chloe Kardashians company. Maybe that's the one. Yeah,
I think a good American And it just zips up
and you can go commando commando. No, no, no. I
always were underwear always, yeah, I never. I do not
(02:59):
like that. I like something underneath my area to just
make sure that we're covered on all bases. But I
when I have had to pee outside wearing a jumpsuit
at a music festival, and when you take it down,
you really are more more vulnerable than any other situation
where you pee outside because then your your breasts are out.
I mean hopefully you're wearing a brad. If you're me,
(03:19):
you have to wear a brad because my breasts are
so big, But you have to. I've definitely had to, like,
you know, you take it down and you're like, well,
this isn't really good at all for this. I mean
it's a good look and I like it, and it's
it's like it's got a utility field, do you know
what I mean. I don't like any frills or bullshit anyway,
So this is kind of the perfect outfit for me.
So we are sitting here at the Sunset Tower. We
(03:39):
both love this restaurant, and it's a big day for
the woman I'm sitting with. It was an announcement today,
you are going to host, yes, the Critics Choice Awards
in January. How did that come about? I don't remember.
I think my publicist called and said, would you like
to do this? And I said absolutely, that sounds like fun.
You know what it was? I hosted me kimmel Um
(04:01):
like two months ago, and I hadn't done that in
a while. I guest hosted for a week and I
was like, oh, oh, I like this, like, you know,
being able to comment politically, culturally, societally on everything that's
going on, and right now, obviously there's such a dearth
of women doing that in that space. I was like, Oh, yeah,
let's get back, let's get this going again. I'd like
(04:22):
to get back into that world. I'd like to get
back into being a public, you know, daily commentator on
the world's like affairs and in a fun and less
gross way than I think. You know, the last kind
of five years have brought out in a lot of people,
you know, myself included. You know, like after Donald Trump
was elected, I went off the rails and then I
(04:43):
had to really like get my act together and figure
out how I want to contribute in a more meaningful way.
And you know, and I had taken a long break
from doing stand up, so I started doing that a
couple of years ago. And now with the talk shows
and everything that's happening, it's like, now I feel that
kind of motivation again. So that'll be a platform to
do that. And you know, you do do it on
your like I love your TikTok's, and you do call
(05:03):
people out, uh, you know, your instagrams, like your stories.
On a lesser serious note, when you were you did
one where somebody had no shoes on on an airplane. Yeah,
that's pretty disgusting. It's it's actually kind of a epidemic,
I would say, or a pandemic epidemic. No, it's a
global issue actually, like epidemic. What's that panhandle? Um? Yeah,
(05:27):
people are flying you should see my d m s.
They were flooded. I was on a plane and I
just was so disgusted by this man who was on
like across the aisle with his feet on the TV screen.
I just couldn't believe what was happening. And I feel
like after like COVID was brought upon a time where
everyone became more hygienic and more mindful, and now there's
(05:49):
like this reverberation where it's like, no, no, no, we
didn't mean any of that. Now you get on a
plane and you looked it down, like over your arm
rest to the side and see what's like the crevice,
what is in there? You're like, what the hell is happening?
Are animals? Yeah, like they've been let out. I was
on I jet blued across the country the other day
and I just looked down the skies as his flip
(06:09):
flops on his big feet hanging out flip flops. I'm
so sick of flip flops. They're not even a shoe.
They're just like wearing rubber stuck to your feet. It's
like wearing a Maxi shield on your foot. It's true. Anyway,
I got inundated with other foot photos from airplanes because
people were like, oh my god, And so people start
taking photos of all these people get up to go
(06:31):
to the bathroom in their bare feet, walk down the
aisle and go into that disgusting bathroom and then come
back around. It's like, what who told you that that
was all right to do? There's urine everywhere. We have
all been told the amount of germs that you know,
if you put that like black light on all over
(06:51):
the tray that we're about to have lunch, just as
a disgusting pre that's okay. Actually this is a great
way to get my appetite stirred up. How do you
remember us meeting? Wasn't at an Oscar party? Definitely was
at an Oscar party, and it was always at Jennifer
Aniston's house. Okay, yeah, yeah. My question is when we
(07:14):
go because you look amazing. You are clearly in great shape.
You know. One of the reasons we go is when
she has these sort of curated speakers. They're talking about
anti aging or longevity and I don't even know the
anti aging is a correct word. Are you able to
understand any of that? I feel like I need a
PhD in that room. Well, I mean when you're a woman,
(07:35):
you kind of get one, especially if you live in
Los Angeles. So I do understand it, but like half
this anti aging stuff I take, I have no idea
what it is or what it does. So, like, what
is your basic day to day regard to keeping Chelsea
Hamlet looking exactly like I see today? Um, well, I
would thank you. I would say my day to day
regiment would be I wake up every morning, I meditate,
(07:59):
I work out, I take my NAD my n A
D and I don't want to leave that out. I
definitely think that every day. I injected every day. Now
to the listener, I've done n A D as well,
what is how do you? And it's very hard for
me to explain, Yeah, how do you explain a D? Well?
Hopefully I won't do it at disservice. It's an anti
aging like molecule, cellular molecule that helps well, it's not,
(08:22):
but it's a molecule that helps kind of um stagnate
your aging and in some cases even reverse it. I
think those drips are probably more powerful than the daily
injections because you can only do like fifteen units. And
but anyway, it's anti aging. It makes your hair come in,
it makes your skin more luminous, it makes your muscles
recover more quickly. Then there's another peptide. I take a BPC. Um,
(08:45):
I eat really healthy. I'm like, you know, sometimes I
go off, but not really. I mean, I'm too old
for that ship, so I don't really do that. Um.
You know, I drink a lot less than I used to,
ingest a lot of cannabis these days rather than alcohol.
I mean, I still drink, but I don't like to
be you know, it's not a cute look at a
certain age in the same way you can't get away
with it, and affects your body differently the whole thing.
(09:07):
And I just don't like feeling foggy writing a new
book right now. So, like men, mentally, clarity is like important.
And I'm you know, at an age and forty seven
where I understand what works for me and what doesn't
work for me. I was never in working out when
I was in my twenties. I just was like, Oh,
it's so annoying, you know, Like I would look at
thin people and be like, why are they even working out?
Like they've already made it, you know what I mean,
(09:29):
They're already thin. And mine was constant like a battle, like, oh,
I've just got to get thin. I've got to get then.
You know. Now that I am fin, I'm like enjoy
being thin now, So all this is what you wanted,
you know, like and then stop. Don't get carried away
with your thinness. It sounds like you and I am
(09:50):
the same thing, which is a consistency and moderation. Yeah. Yeah,
Who's was something I had a sort of deal with two.
I mean, I was, I like to drink, have a
wooden leg. Oh yeah, right, what I would say, I
have a wooden leg as well? But you still drink?
Oh yeah, yeah right, okay, because yeah, there's nothing worse
than finding out somebody sober halfway through lunch such a
(10:13):
bummer and you're like, oh god, you too. You mean
so if you were dating somebody a deal breaker? I think?
So what are the deal breakers? Okay? With you dating
air May's belts would be a big deal breaker. That's
something I can't get past on a straight man. A
gay guy could get away. Yeah, probably gay guys can
get away with anything, in my book, but straight man
(10:35):
have a like a long road to hold. Um. What
else is a deal breaker? Somebody who's like not open
to therapy as a deal breaker, you know, somebody who
has not done any self examination. I wouldn't be turned
on by that. Or is it like against pursuing that,
you know what I mean, I'm not down with that
because that's just like not evolved in my opinion. Um,
(10:55):
what else is a deal breaker? I mean, I guess
you know, intolerance of other people like you? Well, yeah,
I mean so you were very obviously, very pinionated. You're
very direct human being. I completely appreciate that as I
always been. Chelsea Handler. Did you were you born with
this voice, with this strength? Yeah, I've been like this
(11:16):
since I was a little girl. I mean yeah, I
don't know that's you know, you're born with some personality
and mine is was in your face. Like I mean,
I was the youngest of six kids, and I just
came out like demanding shipped from my parents. I asked
my dad when I was four, like if we had
a dowry for me when I got married, And he
was like what, He's like, what did you Where did
you learn that word? I'm like, don't worry about it.
Do we have any money saved from my wedding? What's
(11:38):
the game plan here? And do you guys have a
savings account. My parents were just like a hot mess,
and I knew that from a very early age. I
had to get the hell out of Dodge. I was
like I was eleven, looking through the want adds to
find myself in my own apartment because I was trying
to convince my parents it would be better off if
I lived alone. Get out. Oh yeah, yeah, I was
a real piece of work. Welcome back to Table for two,
(12:17):
where I'm chatting with the amazing Chelsea Handler. As we
dive into story time, I almost forget that we are
in fact here for lunch. What are we eating today?
I don't know what are we eating. I wasn't planning. Sorry,
I didn't really look at my calendar. I just saw
I saw Bruce Bozzy. I'm like, I got a scedattle
and it gets a tower bar. I think I'm gonna
(12:39):
just do a simple like chop salad. I think I'll
take can I get a half dozen oysters? Love it? Unfortunately, don't.
All right, I'll take a shrimp cocktail. Damn it. That's
so Eric. I went to l A when I was nineteen.
(13:00):
I tried to go to college for like a semester
after high school, which was a community college in New Jersey,
and I studied, ironically Russian history. I don't know what
I was thinking we're talking about. I was like filling
a box of time because I was like, what am
I going to do with my life? I'm not going
to go to college, really, but we thought maybe I
should start because I was eighteen and graduated from high school,
(13:24):
and I think I just stayed in Marstown because I
was dating this guy who lived in Marstown, and so
that was like the Probably the real reason I stayed
was because he was really hot. Yeah, but we weren't,
you know. That wasn't why I stayed. For the beauty
of Morristown. Then we broke up and I was like,
what am I doing in New Jersey. I don't want
to be here. I always wanted to move to Los Angeles.
(13:44):
I had an aunt uncle who lived in bel Air.
The first time I had come to Los Angeles, I
was like ten years old and we came to visit
my aunt and my mom's sister and we got on
an airplane and it was the first time I had flown.
I was like ten, and we walked past the first
class actually in and I was like, whoa who were
these people like this looks like this looks like my group,
and my mom was like, no, no, honey, we have
(14:06):
six children, like we're never flying first class. This is
a different section of the plane. And I was like, well,
I don't know about that, Like I feel like I
belonged there. So we went back, and then two years
later I had my second plane trip. But I had
become a babysitter in between ten and twelve, and I
saved up my money and I purchased my own first
class ticket from a neighbor down the street who is
my friend's mom, who happened to be a travel agent.
(14:27):
And then the next flight we took as a family
with my mom and I had two brothers with me
who were all older. I'm the youngest. We get on
the plane and it was my grandfather's funeral. He had died,
and we're flying to California and to a was my seat,
and I fucking flopped down and I was like, hey,
I will see you guys at the end of the fight.
And my mom was like, what are you doing? What Chelsea?
(14:48):
Get up? I'm like, this is my ticket. I purchased it.
And my older brothers like, oh, my god, are you
kidding me? He said, you have to give that seat
to mom. I'm like, no, I don't. I purchased this.
This is my earn money. Like a mom can sit
in the back of the plane where she's that's fine
with her. This is where I belong. That is maybe
one of the best stories. Well, let's not get care
of serious that you had that like fortitude to do that,
(15:11):
to say, like, okay, next trip, I'm my own ticket.
I was serious. I was so serious about being comfortable.
Like my family life. It was fine. We were, you know,
middle class in New Jersey, very Jewish and Italian like
town Livingston, and we had everyone had, you know, it
was well taken care of in our neighborhood. But our family,
(15:32):
in contrast to the other families, because my father was
a used car dealer and because they were used car
strewn all over our driveway looked like Sandford and Son
of our neighborhood. So I was always embarrassed. And you know,
and growing up you become materialistic. If that's what you're around,
you're like, fuck, this is ridiculous. Like I would have
people dropped me off three doors down from my parents
(15:53):
because I didn't want you to see my parents driveway. Yeah.
I was very worried about other people's opinions and and
right from an early age, I was like, this isn't
gonna be This isn't gonna cut it for me, Like
I need a little bit more. And then I moved
out to l A. Really, when I was nineteen years old,
I was going to drive across country because my brother.
My dad gave me one of his jelopes to take
(16:13):
across country. It was an Audi quatro. And my brother
was like, I don't know if you should be driving
across country by yourself. And I was like, oh, it's fine.
Who gives a ship, Like I'll be fine. No one's
gonna work with me. And he's like, I met this guy,
this bartender the other night. He's driving across country too.
Why don't you guys drive together? And I was like, okay,
but my brother literally met the guy the other night.
(16:34):
My mouth is open. Okay, So I picked this guy up.
This is and I picked the guy up. We get
in the car and he's like, let's go to Harlem.
I want to get some cocaine. And I was This
was before I had ever experimented with cocaine. And I
wasn't about to with this guy, you know, I was
still like a little fresh, and I was like, all right,
(16:58):
I'm like I had no judgment about I was like,
all right, cocaine, what you know, I had no interest
of nine. But I was like, okay, sure, let's go
get it. He comes. I mean, this guy bought so
much cocaine. It was just this humongous bag, is all
I remember. Like, I mean, it was like something out
of a drug cartel. And he starts doing it as
I'm driving. He just starts snorting cocaine. And I'm like,
and he doesn't stop talking. This guy will not shut
(17:19):
the funk up. And I'm already like, okay, if this
part of I can't handle, like I can't handle the
incestant chatting. And he had maps laid out. It's just
as you were leaving, Yeah we were, and yeah, and
so then we stopped somewhere. We get a hotel room.
We get a hotel room with two beds. We check in.
(17:40):
He has maps strewn everywhere across and talking about this
route and that root and then he's putting up like
little like flash cards on the wall, like and I
was like looking at this guy, going, oh my god,
this guy is a mess. I can't be around him.
So in the morning we woke up. I woke up.
He had been up all night. Of course he he
was staring straight at me with his pupils completely dilated,
(18:03):
and I just was like no, So I said, give
me a minute, and I said I'll be right back.
I just wanna, you know, And I grabbed my suitcase
and I went outside to the car. I took his
stuff out of my car, left it on the parking
lot floor and pulled away and drove across country by myself.
Good for you. And then like two and a half
(18:23):
days later, I'm in Amarillo, Texas, and I get pulled
over by a state trooper and he has a guard
dog and tells me to get out of the car
and the dog is going through my car, going nuts,
going crazy, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna
get arrested for like residue or cocaine. And luckily he
didn't find anything, but there was just you know, like
(18:44):
you could I'm sure he picked up the set and
I was just I remember sitting on standing on the
side of the highway with my leg shaking, and I
just thought, this is it. I'm going to go to
prison now for the rest of my life. Wow, breathing
that story. That is a good, crazy story. And then
I called my family. They were on Martha's vineyard at
(19:06):
our summer house. My brother picked up and said, I said,
let me talk to mom and dad, and he goes, no,
they don't know that you're driving with that guy across country.
And I don't think you should tell them until you
get there. They're not gonna like that. And I was like,
first of all, that guy I left in Maryland, Okay,
so don't even worry. I'm not with that guy anymore,
you idiot. And don't ever set me up with anybody
you met at a bar. Oh my god, all those
(19:31):
stories with the inspirations for all your books. Yeah, I
mean a lot of my books are, you know. Always
in my books it's about my family because I'm very
tight with my brothers and sisters. My parents have both
passed away, and I mean that's where you get your
kind of cynicism and starchasm, you know, especially being Jewish
and growing up in Livingston, New Jersey. It's just kind
of like our family was very like everything is sardonic,
(19:54):
and we're all just kind of you know, that old
school sense of humor where you like, even when it's
a good moment, like, wow, this is fun. You know,
it's not. Nothing's fun. Really, Welcome back to the table.
(20:23):
I'm in an amazing conversation with Chelsea Handler. The food
hasn't even arrived yet, and the stories are so juicy.
It's easy to get caught up in a personality as
big as Chelsea's. Oh, let's tell everyone just happened. Thank you, Eric,
(20:45):
Thank you. Eric delivered not only the shrimp cocktail, but
the oysters. Where did you get? Oh my god, see
a table for two with Bruce? Yeah, should happens? Oh
my god? Are we allowed to eat the eating? Well,
you bring up something that I was going to talk
(21:06):
about a little later, which is really your political activism.
Because one of the things that you do is you
visit college campuses and you talk to people, and you
want to get back on a platform. What is the
vibe on the campuses with everything at stake going into
the midterms, Women's rights, gay rights, what's Chelsea's voice going
(21:26):
to be saying? Well, I think during the last four years,
like I realized or between. I mean, I was just so,
I was just I couldn't believe it, you know, and
I realized, you know, used to use your voice more judiciously,
you know. Sometimes I just can rant and rave, and
then it's I'm just speaking to my own audience and
people who agree with me anyway. And the real kind
(21:49):
of delicacy or talent would be to kind of step
in in timely moments instead of beating the same drum
all the time, you know what I mean. I think
you know, when you argue the same point all the time,
it kind of diminishes the argument. So applying that to
my activism has been you know better because a doesn't
(22:09):
keep my blood pressure at such a high level. It
allows me room to think and be thoughtful about what
I'm saying and contributing. Um. But I'm definitely not like,
you know, screaming from the rooftops the way I used to,
because I don't think it was reaching anybody new or different.
And I feel like, effectively, you know, stand up is
such a great tool. Like I've been on this tour
for a year, which has also kept me very busy,
(22:31):
but it's given me like a way to actually reach people.
You know, women are my audience. Gay men and women
and young girls like are always at my shows, and
they invariably are inevitably will drag some straight man with them,
you know, And so if I can get my point
across in that forum in a way that's comedic and funny,
(22:52):
it's much more digestible than you know, screaming at somebody.
So that's a lesson that I learned in you know,
the last few years, and so I just think about
that whenever I'm doing anything, you know, how to bring
people in rather than turning them away or making them
feel shameful about their decisions, trying to have a better
understanding of why anybody's what anybody's motivation is to begin with.
You know, obviously there are certain people that can't be
(23:14):
reasoned with, and then there are certain people that are
on the fence, and like those are the people. Okay,
so let's talk about Vaccinated and Horny tour. What was
the inspiration for this tour? Um? I think, you know,
when everything started opening back up, I just felt like
as a comedian, I had something to offer people in
terms of wanting to bring everybody out of COVID and
(23:36):
wanting to put together people in a room for the
first time, to remind them about togetherness. For some people,
it was their very first time back out, and for me,
I thought I felt a sense of responsibility, like, oh,
I can make people laugh and I can talk about
all the stuff that I did during COVID, which was ridiculous,
and the fact that my family invaded my house and
I had to put my house on the market to
(23:57):
get fucking rid of my family. I mean, I'm basically
I'm living in a rental in Beverly Hills, in the
mecca of plastic surgery, where I drive around the corner
and I can't tell if somebody's thirty or sixty because
everyone's got the same exact face and I don't. I'm like,
what is this? This is like one of those It's
like a Truman Show episode of a different nature. But anyway,
(24:17):
I'm building a house in Brentwood. I bought a house
in Brentwood because of my sister. I blame her, because
I needed to downsize to send my family a very
clear message that just because I had four extra bedroom
does not mean I wanted fucking company, you know. Then
I went to house shopping and then I was like, okay,
I'm gonna downsize. I'm gonna downsize. And I had an
offer on this one house on the Holland and I
(24:38):
was like, oh, this is perfect. I just want a
bachelorette pad. I just don't want a huge house anymore.
I have, you know, I go skiing in the winter
and Whistler. I love that. I spend half my time,
you know, I'm always out and about. It does like,
just let's downsize. And then as soon as that play,
that deal was supposed to close, I was like, this
is too small. I'm like, ah, this is clostrophe. Nobody
(24:58):
will be able to stay here. I'm like, oh wait, wait,
this is exactly the opposite of what you were saying.
So then I ended up buying a house in Brentwood,
which is basically the same size of the house I
moved out of, but it's in a much different neighborhood,
and it's a different style, and it's a little bit
more intimate, and I've converted every single guest room into
something that is not a guest room. I have one
room that is a guest room, and I'm putting two
(25:20):
like queen size bunk beds in that guest room, so
anyone who wants to sleep over it needs to sleep together.
And I took one bedroom and blew it out and
turned it into a two story library. I took another bedroom,
blew it out and turned it into a podcast room.
And I took the other bedroom and turned it into
a closet. I love the plan. I think, like it's perfect.
When you were horny and COVID, what was the horny piece? Like,
(25:42):
I know, well, the horny piece was first of all,
I had my nephew living there who was claiming he
was horny, and I did not give a shit about
his horny nous because he's twenty four years old, and like,
I'm like, really, I think you can handle a pandemic.
You know. He's like, I'm so stressed out. I'm like
about what you're living. What are you stressed out about
living in my mansion? What is stressful to you right now?
Because I'm stressed because you guys are here and uh.
(26:04):
I Then they left and I was so excited and
I just was like, let's get the party started. Because
I had those at home COVID health tests that you
could buy, and I was like, Oh, this is awesome,
Like I could potentially test any potential penetrators that came
over to my house. I would just have been Rya
and I would have different guys come over, and I
(26:25):
would stand with their call times from like, you know,
i'd have someone kind of an eid, someone coming to
nine thirty because I knew they wouldn't all be home runs,
and then I would just interview them, like and it
took like I would do a nasal swab. I'd put
it in the cartridge in my kitchen run the test.
It took like thirty minutes for the test to come up.
And during that time, if they said anything that annoyed
me or I saw a pinky ring, I would say,
(26:46):
you have come really I like that, So you took
care of business. How many times a week did that happen? Well? Actually,
there were a lot of real disappointing men that came over,
and I just couldn't believe it. I was like, what
is going on with straight guys? Like they were just
becoming so oh. I mean they would say the wrong thing,
or you know, one guy would say he wears masks
all the time, but he didn't think that they worked.
(27:06):
And I'm just like, oh, shut shut up, who gives
a ship what you think? You're not a doctor or
a scientist or a nurse um. And so it was
actually wasn't as successful as it should have been because
I was ready to rumble. But then I went to Whistler.
I bought a little house up in Whistler skill. I'm
a big ski er. I love to see nude. Yeah.
(27:27):
I do that every year on my birthday to celebrate
my independence. Oh my god, I love that. Yeah. Do
video is you can see yourself? Oh? Oh yeah, They're
always on my Instagram. Every year. I do it on
my birthday. I have a margarita one hand and a
joint in the other, and I ski down topless with
my little Canadian and American flag over my nipples to
represent my two favorite countries. You are, you are okay?
(27:50):
So now you go to Whistler and you're So I
go to Whistler, I was like, how do I get
into Canada? Because Canada is was sucking shut They were
like get away from us in Arkans. So Kevin Hart
was shooting a movie up there. And then I was
watching Kevin Hart's Instagram and he's literally in l a
one day and then in Canada the next day, and
I was like, excuse me, there's a two week quarantine
(28:11):
that everybody has to fulfill. Like what are you doing,
Kevin Hart? So I called him and I was like, hey,
I need you to get me a work permit for
your you know you're on a movie, like get me
hooked up. I need to get into Canada. I just
bought a house on FaceTime and I need to go
there to see I bought a house on FaceTime because
I was desperate. Then I thought also Trump was the
election was coming up, and I was like, oh my god,
(28:31):
if he gets elected, I do need a place in Canada.
So I was treating it like an episode of the
Handmade s Tale basically, and Kevin said, sure, no problem.
You know I'll hit you back in twenty four hours.
He was useless. He did not come up with anything.
And I want to be on the record when I
say that Kevin Hart is useless and he cannot help
you with a visa or getting into any other country.
(28:52):
So I finally get my own. I get a work permit.
My agent finds me a theater in Vancouver, theater, decent
sized theater, and he's like I can get you a
residency there for three months. You just have to perform
on Saturday nights. I'm like, great, that'll get me into Canada.
So I go. I bring my dogs. I charter a
private plane. Hopefully this is only industry listening to this podcast,
(29:15):
so that nobody thinks I'm unrelatable anyway. I'm an environmentalist.
So I charter a plane and I bring my two dogs,
and I just bring as much cannabis as possible. Okay,
because I'm going for I don't know how long I
was going to be there. I didn't know if I
was gonna be there two months, six months. But what
I did know is I had to quarantine for two weeks.
When you get to Canada, you can't go back and forth.
(29:36):
You have to stay exactly. Because Kevin obviously is somebody
exactly and that's what he's known for. I get to
the airport and the guy comes up to me, this guy,
and he's like, I'm really worried. He had this Australian accent.
I can't do an Australian accent, but he said, I'm
really worried they're turning people around at the Florida. I
(29:56):
don't think we should go, you know, I'm not sure.
I'm like, what do you mean They're hurning people around
the border, like I have all my paperwork here, like
I've already, you know. And he's like, we've got to
get on the phone with customs and la la la la,
and so I'm like all right, and and then I'm
getting nervous, like I might not be able to go,
and all I wanted to do was go and ski
because everything was shut everywhere. He gets on the phone
(30:17):
with customs. Customs like, hi, miss handler, everything checks out,
We're ready for you. We'll see you in a couple
of hours. I look at the guy and I go, look,
everything's fine there. They know I'm coming and I've got
my paperwork. He said, I don't know. I don't know.
People say they can you can go, and then you
get turned around and I just don't know if we
should do it. And I was like I'm sorry, who
are you? Like are you a customs agent? And he's
(30:38):
like no, I'm the pilot. And I was like you're
the pilot. I go, you don't even have to stay
in this, Like I hired a plane and a pilot
and your co pilot who was on the plane, who
was a gay man who totally fucking had my vibe right.
I looked at him and he's like I'm so sorry. Like, yeah,
I'm sorry. You have to deal with this guy. So
we get on the plane, we have my dogs, and
I go, listen, this isn't up to you, like I
(31:00):
hired you. If we go when we get turned around,
that's on me. Like that's not You're not gonna have
to deal with anything. Then you're just flying back anyway,
and you're gonna have to fly back anyway. And he
was really resistant, and finally I was like, listen to me,
you aren't flying me to Vancouver now, and you need
to put your foot on the gas and take the
fucking plane up. So we get up in the air
(31:21):
and we literally are like twenty ft in the air
and he gets a call and he's like they're telling
me that I have to ground the plane, that I
have to ground the plane, that we didn't get cleared
for takeoff. I get up out of the seat and
I walk over to him and I said, if you
turn this plane around, I'm gonna lose my ship. I
was like, you need to fly me to Vancouver, no
fucking around. And then we went to Vancouver and guess what,
(31:41):
Customs walked on board and said, welcome to Canada, Miss Sham. Yeah,
and they said are your dogs? You know? Had your
dogs been here before? Or when was the last time
your dogs were in Canada? And I was like, they
came last Christmas alone on a trip for themselves because
I did not have their paperwork in order, so um,
but it all show. Yeah I did. And then he
(32:01):
started laughing and he's like, Okay, come on in. Do
you feel like being someone who is so direct and
opinionated and vocal and dynamic and just uh with the
whole cancel culture? You do you get nervous about it?
You feel like, well, funk, I'm going to say something
that's going No, I don't. I don't because I'm not
(32:22):
stupid and I'm not a racist or a sexist, you
know what I mean. Like the cancel culture. Yes, obviously
it's gotten carried away because now people are being held
accountable for things they said like twenty seven years ago,
and that's not really appropriate either. But at the same time,
there's like an overcorrection, you know, And I feel like
that's a pattern with things, there's always an overcorrection. We
(32:42):
had times up, then we had cancel culture, and you know,
and like look at the reverberation of me too, like
they overturn Roe v. Wade, Like that is related in
my opinion. You know, if you have women speaking up
loudly and proudly, and then we're like, no, shut the
funk up, We're actually going to take your rights away. Like,
it's not a coincidence that these political movements happen in
kind of sequential order. So as far as cancel culture goes, though,
(33:06):
Like I really think when people are guilty of something,
they should have a sincere game plan to a address
the situation and apologize in a sincere way instead of
being this defensive person and saying I didn't mean it
that way, I didn't do it. I mean, come on,
that was It's like that's not the answer. The answer
is to be accountable and to say I fucked up.
(33:26):
I'm so sorry, I fucked up, and this is what
I'm gonna do to make sure that I learn and
no better so that I don't ever behave this way.
So there's kind of like male resistance in this male
like attitude that you can't say anything anymore. It's like
you can you can say anything, you just can't rape
because we're gonna tell on you. And you can't be
sexist and not be racist. That's not a tall order,
(33:49):
and that's the way it should be, like, you know,
instead of like you know, it's it's not hard to
go through the world or even stand up with some parameters.
I like a little guardrails because I will go off
the rails if you don't give me some parameters. I
feel like the conversation has been had and we should
now move on to the next phase. You know, what
would that next phase be? Well, I mean I think,
(34:13):
you know, instead of just canceling somebody completely, it's more
of a conversation. It's like giving somebody the room to
to make good, you know, giving somebody the opportunity to
come and say I'm sorry, and and they're not gone forever.
You know. I think that women are just so mad
and so piste off, and they have every right to be.
And you know, I'm also bad and piste off on
(34:33):
behalf of women. So I just think there's a toggle
right now going on, and it feels like we're at
the tail end of cancel culture, hopefully, and so that
people can have room to grow and room to make mistakes,
you know, not sexual assault mistakes, but language mistakes and
confusing things. And there has to be a little bit
more latitude. What are the things that keep you all
(34:57):
at night or waking up in the morning saying okay,
I mean yeah, of course, you know, personal things and
you know, like worldly things. I think it really depends.
I mean, you know, like, look what's happening in Iran,
and like look what the government's doing to those women.
I can't even believe how brave these women are. I mean,
(35:17):
I don't know that I would be that brave. I
mean I would have to be, because I would have
to stand for something, but I wouldn't be psyched about it.
And I'm sure they're not. But I mean that rock
climber that went, you know, competed the other day and
then flew back to Iran to basically be tortured while
her brother was arrested. I don't I can't believe that
that government is also not seeing the writing on the wall.
(35:39):
You know that they're just killing them and shooting them
and torturing these women and innocent men, and you know,
even children. And I just watched these videos and I
just can't believe these little girls in schools taking off
their jobs and just you know, storming these men throwing
ship at them, like you know, taking the control back,
and and when these people have weapons, It's just unfathomable.
(36:01):
So that stuff keeps me up at night. And climate
change is, you know, is the Big two. Whenever I
see anyone pregnant, I'm like, what are you? What are
you doing? Like this world is spelled taken broad like
that's my cynicism. And I believe, you know, the way
it's been accelerating and the floods all throughout the world
that are happening right now. And I don't know, is
it Are we too late to get around it? It It
feels like it. It feels like it. Are you afraid
(36:23):
of dying? I don't think so. I mean no, that
would be a nice break, you know, like a nice
long sleep. I'm definitely into sleeping. I just hope it's
not something. Oh my god, your TikTok about sleeping and
kids your life? Fun to know why I'm still in
bed and my um, yes, I like to do mushrooms
at eleven am with my landscaper. That's why I don't
have children, because you know who's not doing that people
(36:44):
with children. So okay, so the vaccinated and horny Tour.
For some reason, my New York accent Horny Tour doesn't
come out right to you. When are you shooting or
did you shooting? I shot my sh It's airing on
Netflix December, two days after Christmas. So it's really it's
(37:05):
my best special for sure. Yet I'm really excited about
it for it to come out, for people to see it,
because I'm now back in the groove of doing stand up.
I had taken like a six year hiatus from stand
up because I just didn't feel like I had anything
to contribute, you know. I didn't feel like I had
anything to say. And now I'm like, yeah, I have
something to say, you know. So I came back with
a vengeance. I did my last special at HBO Max,
(37:25):
which was called Evolution, and that was based on my
last book, Life Will Be the Death of Me, which
is about going to therapy after Trump was elected, being
so angry and having being filled with such a vitriol,
you know, about the whole process and and Trump supporters
and the whole Trump family. The fact that I was
going to have to look at Ivanka's and Eric's veneers
(37:45):
for the next four years pissed me off. Then, you know,
I went to therapy. I did really deep work with
this guy, Dan Siegel. I had never been a therapy before.
I really like found out about all my anger and
all my kind of movement throughout my life, and how
I was never able to be still and I was
never able to sit and reflect, and I was never
able to like meditate or be alone, like I always
(38:07):
had people everywhere, and I, you know, I realized I
was so upset about my brother dying when I was nine.
I never dealt with that. I just kind of put
it away and shoved it down. Was like I became invulnerable,
you know, like I wasn't gonna let any man hurt
me again. My father after my brother died, was he
may as well have died too, because he was just
so he was never the same. And so it was
(38:27):
like two of my attachment figures just basically kind of
ditching me. And in a nine year old's brain, that's
like a break up, like an abandonment. Even though there
was an accident, you don't have that you know, uh,
nuance our maturation to to digest it. And my parents
certainly didn't send any of us to therapy. So it
(38:47):
took me a long time to even understand that that
was my issue and that I was so like because
I was so protective of myself because I had to
be at a very young age to not be hurt
by anybody. So I wrote a book about that, my
last book, um and and then I turned it into
because I was like, oh, maybe I can if this
(39:08):
can be in the medium of stand up, Like if
I could make this funny, So that was important for
me to do. So I did that and then I
was like, I like, stand up again, and then I started,
you know, I did another tour and I and this
is it revolution, and I think I'll keep doing it. Now.
I have to say that we are lucky in this
world to have your voice and your power because this
(39:30):
is a time where people like yourself make such a
huge difference. Your voice is really important and that is
such a blessing, So very thankful for you, Chelsea Handler.
You know, there's just nothing better than getting completely lost
in a conversation and talking to Chelsea just does that
(39:51):
for me and I hope you feel the same way.
So before we say goodbye, there is one more question
that I just needed to know. What's your favorite position
for sex? Yes, I think missionary, romantic, not my to
I know, but like kissing and like, yeah, that's my
(40:13):
favorite position, right, Yeah, I like like a guy on
top of me, you know, face to face. Do you
like a like a big guy, like bigger than me? Ideally,
I mean I would like their thighs to be bigger
than mine. But I've also been known to like depart that.
I mean, I've had men with less big or lesser
thighs than I do, and that's not great. But you know,
(40:35):
as you get older, you realize that everybody comes in
all different shapes and sizes. And I'm kind of pleased
with my openness sexually and dating wise. Like if you
look at my track record, it's all over the shop.
So I love that because that's who I am. Like,
I don't have a type, and I don't think I
ever have. I just like when somebody makes me interested
(40:55):
and is compelling, you know that I can completely connect
with And confidence. Confidence is really like attractive, and especially
when you're someone like me who has the ability to
kind of turn men off. Our men will be like, Oh,
she's too loud or she's too brash. You know, Like
it's really intoxicating to be around a man who appreciates
those qualities and understands that I don't have the ability
(41:19):
to be something that I'm not or and I don't
have the desire either, you know, Like I'm embracing myself.
What a joy to have you here, What leisure to
have you on the earth. Like everyone who's at the
table today, I hope you really enjoy this because Chelsea Hamlet,
you are a powerhouse, beautiful, incredible person and I love you.
(41:42):
I'm very happy you came today. Thank you, Bruce, You're
so cute. Cheers cheers, sears to not getting ship faced
at lunch. Table for You with Bruce Bozzy is produced
by IRR Radio so them three seven part in air mail.
Our executive producers are Bruce Bozzy, Jonathan Hans Dressler and
(42:06):
Nathan King. Table for two is edited and written by
Tina Mullen and researched and written by Bridget Arsenalt. Our
sound engineers are Emil B. Klein, Paul Bowman and Alyssa Midcalf.
Table for two is l A. Production team is Danielle
Romo and Lorraine verrez. Our music supervisor is Randall poster
Our Talent booking is by Jane Sarkin. Special thanks to
(42:28):
Amy Sugarman, Uni Share, Kevin Uvaine, Bobby Bower, Alison Cantor, Graber,
Barbara and jan Chen and Jeff Klein and the staff
at the Tower Bar in the world Famie Sunset Tower Hotel.
For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the I Heart
Radio appum Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Some I'm driving down Sunset Boulevard this morning, feeling tired,
running on fumes, and then suddenly, boom, the beaches come
on and the Tony Mannaromie pops and I am jamming
and so ready for today's lunch, because today we're having
lunch with Chelsea Handler. And she is a force. She
(00:21):
is an author, she is a comedian. She has a
point of view, she's not afraid to share her So
today we are going to have a great lunch at
the Sunset Tower Bar, one of my favorites, as you
know by now, and I hope you enjoyed. Oh, I
see a blong beauty who the party is. Chelsea, of course,
(00:49):
just exudes joy when she walks in the room. She's
wearing an amazing navy jumpsuit and looks absolutely gorgeous. I'm
so psyched to be sitting with delicious. Chelsea's regularly here
at the Tower Bar, and everyone is so happy to
see her. And if you work in the restaurant, is
(01:10):
she is not only the type of celebrity you want,
she's just the type of customer you want. She's not fussy,
she's not precious, she's super nice and she just brightens
up the joint. You know, I was looking at Eric's mullett.
Eric's our server here today. Yeah, he has a handsome
and he hasn't those of you who can't see this
(01:32):
podcast because it's a podcast and he's from Wisconsin that
we were talking about the return of the mullets. Oh yeah, yeah,
I do. I've seen it and he was the first
one who told me about it last week when I'm sorry,
brought it back. That's that's how I feel about jumpsuits.
I just didn't want to say that. I didn't want
to toot my own home. So pull up a chair.
(01:53):
Today is bound to get a little rowdy. I'm Bruce
Bozzy and this is my podcast table for two. Hi,
Bruce Bossy. This is a really exciting day here to
everyone who's on the other side of this mic, because
I'm sitting with you know, you look fucking gorgeous. Chelsea Handler,
(02:16):
Thank you, Hi. Hi, you're in this like navy. I
love it. Jumpsuit, I mean, who doesn't love a jumpsuit? Yeah,
well that's like a female comedians uniform. These days, we're
all wearing them for some reason. Really, I mean, I've
been wearing a jumpsuit for on stage for about two
uh two to four years now it's kind of turned
into my outfit. I wore one recently last weekend that
(02:38):
I bought at American let's say on that vintage store. Yeah,
good American. No, that's Chloe Kardashians company. Maybe that's the one. Yeah,
I think a good American And it just zips up
and you can go commando commando. No, no, no. I
always were underwear always, yeah, I never. I do not
(02:59):
like that. I like something underneath my area to just
make sure that we're covered on all bases. But I
when I have had to pee outside wearing a jumpsuit
at a music festival, and when you take it down,
you really are more more vulnerable than any other situation
where you pee outside because then your your breasts are out.
I mean hopefully you're wearing a brad. If you're me,
(03:19):
you have to wear a brad because my breasts are
so big, But you have to. I've definitely had to, like,
you know, you take it down and you're like, well,
this isn't really good at all for this. I mean
it's a good look and I like it, and it's
it's like it's got a utility field, do you know
what I mean. I don't like any frills or bullshit anyway,
So this is kind of the perfect outfit for me.
So we are sitting here at the Sunset Tower. We
(03:39):
both love this restaurant, and it's a big day for
the woman I'm sitting with. It was an announcement today,
you are going to host, yes, the Critics Choice Awards
in January. How did that come about? I don't remember.
I think my publicist called and said, would you like
to do this? And I said absolutely, that sounds like fun.
You know what it was? I hosted me kimmel Um
(04:01):
like two months ago, and I hadn't done that in
a while. I guest hosted for a week and I
was like, oh, oh, I like this, like, you know,
being able to comment politically, culturally, societally on everything that's
going on, and right now, obviously there's such a dearth
of women doing that in that space. I was like, Oh, yeah,
let's get back, let's get this going again. I'd like
(04:22):
to get back into that world. I'd like to get
back into being a public, you know, daily commentator on
the world's like affairs and in a fun and less
gross way than I think. You know, the last kind
of five years have brought out in a lot of people,
you know, myself included. You know, like after Donald Trump
was elected, I went off the rails and then I
(04:43):
had to really like get my act together and figure
out how I want to contribute in a more meaningful way.
And you know, and I had taken a long break
from doing stand up, so I started doing that a
couple of years ago. And now with the talk shows
and everything that's happening, it's like, now I feel that
kind of motivation again. So that'll be a platform to
do that. And you know, you do do it on
your like I love your TikTok's, and you do call
(05:03):
people out, uh, you know, your instagrams, like your stories.
On a lesser serious note, when you were you did
one where somebody had no shoes on on an airplane. Yeah,
that's pretty disgusting. It's it's actually kind of a epidemic,
I would say, or a pandemic epidemic. No, it's a
global issue actually, like epidemic. What's that panhandle? Um? Yeah,
(05:27):
people are flying you should see my d m s.
They were flooded. I was on a plane and I
just was so disgusted by this man who was on
like across the aisle with his feet on the TV screen.
I just couldn't believe what was happening. And I feel
like after like COVID was brought upon a time where
everyone became more hygienic and more mindful, and now there's
(05:49):
like this reverberation where it's like, no, no, no, we
didn't mean any of that. Now you get on a
plane and you looked it down, like over your arm
rest to the side and see what's like the crevice,
what is in there? You're like, what the hell is happening?
Are animals? Yeah, like they've been let out. I was
on I jet blued across the country the other day
and I just looked down the skies as his flip
(06:09):
flops on his big feet hanging out flip flops. I'm
so sick of flip flops. They're not even a shoe.
They're just like wearing rubber stuck to your feet. It's
like wearing a Maxi shield on your foot. It's true. Anyway,
I got inundated with other foot photos from airplanes because
people were like, oh my god, And so people start
taking photos of all these people get up to go
(06:31):
to the bathroom in their bare feet, walk down the
aisle and go into that disgusting bathroom and then come
back around. It's like, what who told you that that
was all right to do? There's urine everywhere. We have
all been told the amount of germs that you know,
if you put that like black light on all over
(06:51):
the tray that we're about to have lunch, just as
a disgusting pre that's okay. Actually this is a great
way to get my appetite stirred up. How do you
remember us meeting? Wasn't at an Oscar party? Definitely was
at an Oscar party, and it was always at Jennifer
Aniston's house. Okay, yeah, yeah. My question is when we
(07:14):
go because you look amazing. You are clearly in great shape.
You know. One of the reasons we go is when
she has these sort of curated speakers. They're talking about
anti aging or longevity and I don't even know the
anti aging is a correct word. Are you able to
understand any of that? I feel like I need a
PhD in that room. Well, I mean when you're a woman,
(07:35):
you kind of get one, especially if you live in
Los Angeles. So I do understand it, but like half
this anti aging stuff I take, I have no idea
what it is or what it does. So, like, what
is your basic day to day regard to keeping Chelsea
Hamlet looking exactly like I see today? Um, well, I
would thank you. I would say my day to day
regiment would be I wake up every morning, I meditate,
(07:59):
I work out, I take my NAD my n A
D and I don't want to leave that out. I
definitely think that every day. I injected every day. Now
to the listener, I've done n A D as well,
what is how do you? And it's very hard for
me to explain, Yeah, how do you explain a D? Well?
Hopefully I won't do it at disservice. It's an anti
aging like molecule, cellular molecule that helps well, it's not,
(08:22):
but it's a molecule that helps kind of um stagnate
your aging and in some cases even reverse it. I
think those drips are probably more powerful than the daily
injections because you can only do like fifteen units. And
but anyway, it's anti aging. It makes your hair come in,
it makes your skin more luminous, it makes your muscles
recover more quickly. Then there's another peptide. I take a BPC. Um,
(08:45):
I eat really healthy. I'm like, you know, sometimes I
go off, but not really. I mean, I'm too old
for that ship, so I don't really do that. Um.
You know, I drink a lot less than I used to,
ingest a lot of cannabis these days rather than alcohol.
I mean, I still drink, but I don't like to
be you know, it's not a cute look at a
certain age in the same way you can't get away
with it, and affects your body differently the whole thing.
(09:07):
And I just don't like feeling foggy writing a new
book right now. So, like men, mentally, clarity is like important.
And I'm you know, at an age and forty seven
where I understand what works for me and what doesn't
work for me. I was never in working out when
I was in my twenties. I just was like, Oh,
it's so annoying, you know, Like I would look at
thin people and be like, why are they even working out?
Like they've already made it, you know what I mean,
(09:29):
They're already thin. And mine was constant like a battle, like, oh,
I've just got to get thin. I've got to get then.
You know. Now that I am fin, I'm like enjoy
being thin now, So all this is what you wanted,
you know, like and then stop. Don't get carried away
with your thinness. It sounds like you and I am
(09:50):
the same thing, which is a consistency and moderation. Yeah. Yeah,
Who's was something I had a sort of deal with two.
I mean, I was, I like to drink, have a
wooden leg. Oh yeah, right, what I would say, I
have a wooden leg as well? But you still drink?
Oh yeah, yeah right, okay, because yeah, there's nothing worse
than finding out somebody sober halfway through lunch such a
(10:13):
bummer and you're like, oh god, you too. You mean
so if you were dating somebody a deal breaker? I think?
So what are the deal breakers? Okay? With you dating
air May's belts would be a big deal breaker. That's
something I can't get past on a straight man. A
gay guy could get away. Yeah, probably gay guys can
get away with anything, in my book, but straight man
(10:35):
have a like a long road to hold. Um. What
else is a deal breaker? Somebody who's like not open
to therapy as a deal breaker, you know, somebody who
has not done any self examination. I wouldn't be turned
on by that. Or is it like against pursuing that,
you know what I mean, I'm not down with that
because that's just like not evolved in my opinion. Um,
(10:55):
what else is a deal breaker? I mean, I guess
you know, intolerance of other people like you? Well, yeah,
I mean so you were very obviously, very pinionated. You're
very direct human being. I completely appreciate that as I
always been. Chelsea Handler. Did you were you born with
this voice, with this strength? Yeah, I've been like this
(11:16):
since I was a little girl. I mean yeah, I
don't know that's you know, you're born with some personality
and mine is was in your face. Like I mean,
I was the youngest of six kids, and I just
came out like demanding shipped from my parents. I asked
my dad when I was four, like if we had
a dowry for me when I got married, And he
was like what, He's like, what did you Where did
you learn that word? I'm like, don't worry about it.
Do we have any money saved from my wedding? What's
(11:38):
the game plan here? And do you guys have a
savings account. My parents were just like a hot mess,
and I knew that from a very early age. I
had to get the hell out of Dodge. I was
like I was eleven, looking through the want adds to
find myself in my own apartment because I was trying
to convince my parents it would be better off if
I lived alone. Get out. Oh yeah, yeah, I was
a real piece of work. Welcome back to Table for two,
(12:17):
where I'm chatting with the amazing Chelsea Handler. As we
dive into story time, I almost forget that we are
in fact here for lunch. What are we eating today?
I don't know what are we eating. I wasn't planning. Sorry,
I didn't really look at my calendar. I just saw
I saw Bruce Bozzy. I'm like, I got a scedattle
and it gets a tower bar. I think I'm gonna
(12:39):
just do a simple like chop salad. I think I'll
take can I get a half dozen oysters? Love it? Unfortunately, don't.
All right, I'll take a shrimp cocktail. Damn it. That's
so Eric. I went to l A when I was nineteen.
(13:00):
I tried to go to college for like a semester
after high school, which was a community college in New Jersey,
and I studied, ironically Russian history. I don't know what
I was thinking we're talking about. I was like filling
a box of time because I was like, what am
I going to do with my life? I'm not going
to go to college, really, but we thought maybe I
should start because I was eighteen and graduated from high school,
(13:24):
and I think I just stayed in Marstown because I
was dating this guy who lived in Marstown, and so
that was like the Probably the real reason I stayed
was because he was really hot. Yeah, but we weren't,
you know. That wasn't why I stayed. For the beauty
of Morristown. Then we broke up and I was like,
what am I doing in New Jersey. I don't want
to be here. I always wanted to move to Los Angeles.
(13:44):
I had an aunt uncle who lived in bel Air.
The first time I had come to Los Angeles, I
was like ten years old and we came to visit
my aunt and my mom's sister and we got on
an airplane and it was the first time I had flown.
I was like ten, and we walked past the first
class actually in and I was like, whoa who were
these people like this looks like this looks like my group,
and my mom was like, no, no, honey, we have
(14:06):
six children, like we're never flying first class. This is
a different section of the plane. And I was like, well,
I don't know about that, Like I feel like I
belonged there. So we went back, and then two years
later I had my second plane trip. But I had
become a babysitter in between ten and twelve, and I
saved up my money and I purchased my own first
class ticket from a neighbor down the street who is
my friend's mom, who happened to be a travel agent.
(14:27):
And then the next flight we took as a family
with my mom and I had two brothers with me
who were all older. I'm the youngest. We get on
the plane and it was my grandfather's funeral. He had died,
and we're flying to California and to a was my seat,
and I fucking flopped down and I was like, hey,
I will see you guys at the end of the fight.
And my mom was like, what are you doing? What Chelsea?
(14:48):
Get up? I'm like, this is my ticket. I purchased it.
And my older brothers like, oh, my god, are you
kidding me? He said, you have to give that seat
to mom. I'm like, no, I don't. I purchased this.
This is my earn money. Like a mom can sit
in the back of the plane where she's that's fine
with her. This is where I belong. That is maybe
one of the best stories. Well, let's not get care
of serious that you had that like fortitude to do that,
(15:11):
to say, like, okay, next trip, I'm my own ticket.
I was serious. I was so serious about being comfortable.
Like my family life. It was fine. We were, you know,
middle class in New Jersey, very Jewish and Italian like
town Livingston, and we had everyone had, you know, it
was well taken care of in our neighborhood. But our family,
(15:32):
in contrast to the other families, because my father was
a used car dealer and because they were used car
strewn all over our driveway looked like Sandford and Son
of our neighborhood. So I was always embarrassed. And you know,
and growing up you become materialistic. If that's what you're around,
you're like, fuck, this is ridiculous. Like I would have
people dropped me off three doors down from my parents
(15:53):
because I didn't want you to see my parents driveway. Yeah.
I was very worried about other people's opinions and and
right from an early age, I was like, this isn't
gonna be This isn't gonna cut it for me, Like
I need a little bit more. And then I moved
out to l A. Really, when I was nineteen years old,
I was going to drive across country because my brother.
My dad gave me one of his jelopes to take
(16:13):
across country. It was an Audi quatro. And my brother
was like, I don't know if you should be driving
across country by yourself. And I was like, oh, it's fine.
Who gives a ship, Like I'll be fine. No one's
gonna work with me. And he's like, I met this guy,
this bartender the other night. He's driving across country too.
Why don't you guys drive together? And I was like, okay,
but my brother literally met the guy the other night.
(16:34):
My mouth is open. Okay, So I picked this guy up.
This is and I picked the guy up. We get
in the car and he's like, let's go to Harlem.
I want to get some cocaine. And I was This
was before I had ever experimented with cocaine. And I
wasn't about to with this guy, you know, I was
still like a little fresh, and I was like, all right,
(16:58):
I'm like I had no judgment about I was like,
all right, cocaine, what you know, I had no interest
of nine. But I was like, okay, sure, let's go
get it. He comes. I mean, this guy bought so
much cocaine. It was just this humongous bag, is all
I remember. Like, I mean, it was like something out
of a drug cartel. And he starts doing it as
I'm driving. He just starts snorting cocaine. And I'm like,
and he doesn't stop talking. This guy will not shut
(17:19):
the funk up. And I'm already like, okay, if this
part of I can't handle, like I can't handle the
incestant chatting. And he had maps laid out. It's just
as you were leaving, Yeah we were, and yeah, and
so then we stopped somewhere. We get a hotel room.
We get a hotel room with two beds. We check in.
(17:40):
He has maps strewn everywhere across and talking about this
route and that root and then he's putting up like
little like flash cards on the wall, like and I
was like looking at this guy, going, oh my god,
this guy is a mess. I can't be around him.
So in the morning we woke up. I woke up.
He had been up all night. Of course he he
was staring straight at me with his pupils completely dilated,
(18:03):
and I just was like no, So I said, give
me a minute, and I said I'll be right back.
I just wanna, you know, And I grabbed my suitcase
and I went outside to the car. I took his
stuff out of my car, left it on the parking
lot floor and pulled away and drove across country by myself.
Good for you. And then like two and a half
(18:23):
days later, I'm in Amarillo, Texas, and I get pulled
over by a state trooper and he has a guard
dog and tells me to get out of the car
and the dog is going through my car, going nuts,
going crazy, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna
get arrested for like residue or cocaine. And luckily he
didn't find anything, but there was just you know, like
(18:44):
you could I'm sure he picked up the set and
I was just I remember sitting on standing on the
side of the highway with my leg shaking, and I
just thought, this is it. I'm going to go to
prison now for the rest of my life. Wow, breathing
that story. That is a good, crazy story. And then
I called my family. They were on Martha's vineyard at
(19:06):
our summer house. My brother picked up and said, I said,
let me talk to mom and dad, and he goes, no,
they don't know that you're driving with that guy across country.
And I don't think you should tell them until you
get there. They're not gonna like that. And I was like,
first of all, that guy I left in Maryland, Okay,
so don't even worry. I'm not with that guy anymore,
you idiot. And don't ever set me up with anybody
you met at a bar. Oh my god, all those
(19:31):
stories with the inspirations for all your books. Yeah, I
mean a lot of my books are, you know. Always
in my books it's about my family because I'm very
tight with my brothers and sisters. My parents have both
passed away, and I mean that's where you get your
kind of cynicism and starchasm, you know, especially being Jewish
and growing up in Livingston, New Jersey. It's just kind
of like our family was very like everything is sardonic,
(19:54):
and we're all just kind of you know, that old
school sense of humor where you like, even when it's
a good moment, like, wow, this is fun. You know,
it's not. Nothing's fun. Really, Welcome back to the table.
(20:23):
I'm in an amazing conversation with Chelsea Handler. The food
hasn't even arrived yet, and the stories are so juicy.
It's easy to get caught up in a personality as
big as Chelsea's. Oh, let's tell everyone just happened. Thank you, Eric,
(20:45):
Thank you. Eric delivered not only the shrimp cocktail, but
the oysters. Where did you get? Oh my god, see
a table for two with Bruce? Yeah, should happens? Oh
my god? Are we allowed to eat the eating? Well,
you bring up something that I was going to talk
(21:06):
about a little later, which is really your political activism.
Because one of the things that you do is you
visit college campuses and you talk to people, and you
want to get back on a platform. What is the
vibe on the campuses with everything at stake going into
the midterms, Women's rights, gay rights, what's Chelsea's voice going
(21:26):
to be saying? Well, I think during the last four years,
like I realized or between. I mean, I was just so,
I was just I couldn't believe it, you know, and
I realized, you know, used to use your voice more judiciously,
you know. Sometimes I just can rant and rave, and
then it's I'm just speaking to my own audience and
people who agree with me anyway. And the real kind
(21:49):
of delicacy or talent would be to kind of step
in in timely moments instead of beating the same drum
all the time, you know what I mean. I think
you know, when you argue the same point all the time,
it kind of diminishes the argument. So applying that to
my activism has been you know better because a doesn't
(22:09):
keep my blood pressure at such a high level. It
allows me room to think and be thoughtful about what
I'm saying and contributing. Um. But I'm definitely not like,
you know, screaming from the rooftops the way I used to,
because I don't think it was reaching anybody new or different.
And I feel like, effectively, you know, stand up is
such a great tool. Like I've been on this tour
for a year, which has also kept me very busy,
(22:31):
but it's given me like a way to actually reach people.
You know, women are my audience. Gay men and women
and young girls like are always at my shows, and
they invariably are inevitably will drag some straight man with them,
you know, And so if I can get my point
across in that forum in a way that's comedic and funny,
(22:52):
it's much more digestible than you know, screaming at somebody.
So that's a lesson that I learned in you know,
the last few years, and so I just think about
that whenever I'm doing anything, you know, how to bring
people in rather than turning them away or making them
feel shameful about their decisions, trying to have a better
understanding of why anybody's what anybody's motivation is to begin with.
You know, obviously there are certain people that can't be
(23:14):
reasoned with, and then there are certain people that are
on the fence, and like those are the people. Okay,
so let's talk about Vaccinated and Horny tour. What was
the inspiration for this tour? Um? I think, you know,
when everything started opening back up, I just felt like
as a comedian, I had something to offer people in
terms of wanting to bring everybody out of COVID and
(23:36):
wanting to put together people in a room for the
first time, to remind them about togetherness. For some people,
it was their very first time back out, and for me,
I thought I felt a sense of responsibility, like, oh,
I can make people laugh and I can talk about
all the stuff that I did during COVID, which was ridiculous,
and the fact that my family invaded my house and
I had to put my house on the market to
(23:57):
get fucking rid of my family. I mean, I'm basically
I'm living in a rental in Beverly Hills, in the
mecca of plastic surgery, where I drive around the corner
and I can't tell if somebody's thirty or sixty because
everyone's got the same exact face and I don't. I'm like,
what is this? This is like one of those It's
like a Truman Show episode of a different nature. But anyway,
(24:17):
I'm building a house in Brentwood. I bought a house
in Brentwood because of my sister. I blame her, because
I needed to downsize to send my family a very
clear message that just because I had four extra bedroom
does not mean I wanted fucking company, you know. Then
I went to house shopping and then I was like, okay,
I'm gonna downsize. I'm gonna downsize. And I had an
offer on this one house on the Holland and I
(24:38):
was like, oh, this is perfect. I just want a
bachelorette pad. I just don't want a huge house anymore.
I have, you know, I go skiing in the winter
and Whistler. I love that. I spend half my time,
you know, I'm always out and about. It does like,
just let's downsize. And then as soon as that play,
that deal was supposed to close, I was like, this
is too small. I'm like, ah, this is clostrophe. Nobody
(24:58):
will be able to stay here. I'm like, oh wait, wait,
this is exactly the opposite of what you were saying.
So then I ended up buying a house in Brentwood,
which is basically the same size of the house I
moved out of, but it's in a much different neighborhood,
and it's a different style, and it's a little bit
more intimate, and I've converted every single guest room into
something that is not a guest room. I have one
room that is a guest room, and I'm putting two
(25:20):
like queen size bunk beds in that guest room, so
anyone who wants to sleep over it needs to sleep together.
And I took one bedroom and blew it out and
turned it into a two story library. I took another bedroom,
blew it out and turned it into a podcast room.
And I took the other bedroom and turned it into
a closet. I love the plan. I think, like it's perfect.
When you were horny and COVID, what was the horny piece? Like,
(25:42):
I know, well, the horny piece was first of all,
I had my nephew living there who was claiming he
was horny, and I did not give a shit about
his horny nous because he's twenty four years old, and like,
I'm like, really, I think you can handle a pandemic.
You know. He's like, I'm so stressed out. I'm like
about what you're living. What are you stressed out about
living in my mansion? What is stressful to you right now?
Because I'm stressed because you guys are here and uh.
(26:04):
I Then they left and I was so excited and
I just was like, let's get the party started. Because
I had those at home COVID health tests that you
could buy, and I was like, Oh, this is awesome,
Like I could potentially test any potential penetrators that came
over to my house. I would just have been Rya
and I would have different guys come over, and I
(26:25):
would stand with their call times from like, you know,
i'd have someone kind of an eid, someone coming to
nine thirty because I knew they wouldn't all be home runs,
and then I would just interview them, like and it
took like I would do a nasal swab. I'd put
it in the cartridge in my kitchen run the test.
It took like thirty minutes for the test to come up.
And during that time, if they said anything that annoyed
me or I saw a pinky ring, I would say,
(26:46):
you have come really I like that, So you took
care of business. How many times a week did that happen? Well? Actually,
there were a lot of real disappointing men that came over,
and I just couldn't believe it. I was like, what
is going on with straight guys? Like they were just
becoming so oh. I mean they would say the wrong thing,
or you know, one guy would say he wears masks
all the time, but he didn't think that they worked.
(27:06):
And I'm just like, oh, shut shut up, who gives
a ship what you think? You're not a doctor or
a scientist or a nurse um. And so it was
actually wasn't as successful as it should have been because
I was ready to rumble. But then I went to Whistler.
I bought a little house up in Whistler skill. I'm
a big ski er. I love to see nude. Yeah.
(27:27):
I do that every year on my birthday to celebrate
my independence. Oh my god, I love that. Yeah. Do
video is you can see yourself? Oh? Oh yeah, They're
always on my Instagram. Every year. I do it on
my birthday. I have a margarita one hand and a
joint in the other, and I ski down topless with
my little Canadian and American flag over my nipples to
represent my two favorite countries. You are, you are okay?
(27:50):
So now you go to Whistler and you're So I
go to Whistler, I was like, how do I get
into Canada? Because Canada is was sucking shut They were
like get away from us in Arkans. So Kevin Hart
was shooting a movie up there. And then I was
watching Kevin Hart's Instagram and he's literally in l a
one day and then in Canada the next day, and
I was like, excuse me, there's a two week quarantine
(28:11):
that everybody has to fulfill. Like what are you doing,
Kevin Hart? So I called him and I was like, hey,
I need you to get me a work permit for
your you know you're on a movie, like get me
hooked up. I need to get into Canada. I just
bought a house on FaceTime and I need to go
there to see I bought a house on FaceTime because
I was desperate. Then I thought also Trump was the
election was coming up, and I was like, oh my god,
(28:31):
if he gets elected, I do need a place in Canada.
So I was treating it like an episode of the
Handmade s Tale basically, and Kevin said, sure, no problem.
You know I'll hit you back in twenty four hours.
He was useless. He did not come up with anything.
And I want to be on the record when I
say that Kevin Hart is useless and he cannot help
you with a visa or getting into any other country.
(28:52):
So I finally get my own. I get a work permit.
My agent finds me a theater in Vancouver, theater, decent
sized theater, and he's like I can get you a
residency there for three months. You just have to perform
on Saturday nights. I'm like, great, that'll get me into Canada.
So I go. I bring my dogs. I charter a
private plane. Hopefully this is only industry listening to this podcast,
(29:15):
so that nobody thinks I'm unrelatable anyway. I'm an environmentalist.
So I charter a plane and I bring my two dogs,
and I just bring as much cannabis as possible. Okay,
because I'm going for I don't know how long I
was going to be there. I didn't know if I
was gonna be there two months, six months. But what
I did know is I had to quarantine for two weeks.
When you get to Canada, you can't go back and forth.
(29:36):
You have to stay exactly. Because Kevin obviously is somebody
exactly and that's what he's known for. I get to
the airport and the guy comes up to me, this guy,
and he's like, I'm really worried. He had this Australian accent.
I can't do an Australian accent, but he said, I'm
really worried they're turning people around at the Florida. I
(29:56):
don't think we should go, you know, I'm not sure.
I'm like, what do you mean They're hurning people around
the border, like I have all my paperwork here, like
I've already, you know. And he's like, we've got to
get on the phone with customs and la la la la,
and so I'm like all right, and and then I'm
getting nervous, like I might not be able to go,
and all I wanted to do was go and ski
because everything was shut everywhere. He gets on the phone
(30:17):
with customs. Customs like, hi, miss handler, everything checks out,
We're ready for you. We'll see you in a couple
of hours. I look at the guy and I go, look,
everything's fine there. They know I'm coming and I've got
my paperwork. He said, I don't know. I don't know.
People say they can you can go, and then you
get turned around and I just don't know if we
should do it. And I was like I'm sorry, who
are you? Like are you a customs agent? And he's
(30:38):
like no, I'm the pilot. And I was like you're
the pilot. I go, you don't even have to stay
in this, Like I hired a plane and a pilot
and your co pilot who was on the plane, who
was a gay man who totally fucking had my vibe right.
I looked at him and he's like I'm so sorry. Like, yeah,
I'm sorry. You have to deal with this guy. So
we get on the plane, we have my dogs, and
I go, listen, this isn't up to you, like I
(31:00):
hired you. If we go when we get turned around,
that's on me. Like that's not You're not gonna have
to deal with anything. Then you're just flying back anyway,
and you're gonna have to fly back anyway. And he
was really resistant, and finally I was like, listen to me,
you aren't flying me to Vancouver now, and you need
to put your foot on the gas and take the
fucking plane up. So we get up in the air
(31:21):
and we literally are like twenty ft in the air
and he gets a call and he's like they're telling
me that I have to ground the plane, that I
have to ground the plane, that we didn't get cleared
for takeoff. I get up out of the seat and
I walk over to him and I said, if you
turn this plane around, I'm gonna lose my ship. I
was like, you need to fly me to Vancouver, no
fucking around. And then we went to Vancouver and guess what,
(31:41):
Customs walked on board and said, welcome to Canada, Miss Sham. Yeah,
and they said are your dogs? You know? Had your
dogs been here before? Or when was the last time
your dogs were in Canada? And I was like, they
came last Christmas alone on a trip for themselves because
I did not have their paperwork in order, so um,
but it all show. Yeah I did. And then he
(32:01):
started laughing and he's like, Okay, come on in. Do
you feel like being someone who is so direct and
opinionated and vocal and dynamic and just uh with the
whole cancel culture? You do you get nervous about it?
You feel like, well, funk, I'm going to say something
that's going No, I don't. I don't because I'm not
(32:22):
stupid and I'm not a racist or a sexist, you
know what I mean. Like the cancel culture. Yes, obviously
it's gotten carried away because now people are being held
accountable for things they said like twenty seven years ago,
and that's not really appropriate either. But at the same time,
there's like an overcorrection, you know, And I feel like
that's a pattern with things, there's always an overcorrection. We
(32:42):
had times up, then we had cancel culture, and you know,
and like look at the reverberation of me too, like
they overturn Roe v. Wade, Like that is related in
my opinion. You know, if you have women speaking up
loudly and proudly, and then we're like, no, shut the
funk up, We're actually going to take your rights away. Like,
it's not a coincidence that these political movements happen in
kind of sequential order. So as far as cancel culture goes, though,
(33:06):
Like I really think when people are guilty of something,
they should have a sincere game plan to a address
the situation and apologize in a sincere way instead of
being this defensive person and saying I didn't mean it
that way, I didn't do it. I mean, come on,
that was It's like that's not the answer. The answer
is to be accountable and to say I fucked up.
(33:26):
I'm so sorry, I fucked up, and this is what
I'm gonna do to make sure that I learn and
no better so that I don't ever behave this way.
So there's kind of like male resistance in this male
like attitude that you can't say anything anymore. It's like
you can you can say anything, you just can't rape
because we're gonna tell on you. And you can't be
sexist and not be racist. That's not a tall order,
(33:49):
and that's the way it should be, like, you know,
instead of like you know, it's it's not hard to
go through the world or even stand up with some parameters.
I like a little guardrails because I will go off
the rails if you don't give me some parameters. I
feel like the conversation has been had and we should
now move on to the next phase. You know, what
would that next phase be? Well, I mean I think,
(34:13):
you know, instead of just canceling somebody completely, it's more
of a conversation. It's like giving somebody the room to
to make good, you know, giving somebody the opportunity to
come and say I'm sorry, and and they're not gone forever.
You know. I think that women are just so mad
and so piste off, and they have every right to be.
And you know, I'm also bad and piste off on
(34:33):
behalf of women. So I just think there's a toggle
right now going on, and it feels like we're at
the tail end of cancel culture, hopefully, and so that
people can have room to grow and room to make mistakes,
you know, not sexual assault mistakes, but language mistakes and
confusing things. And there has to be a little bit
more latitude. What are the things that keep you all
(34:57):
at night or waking up in the morning saying okay,
I mean yeah, of course, you know, personal things and
you know, like worldly things. I think it really depends.
I mean, you know, like, look what's happening in Iran,
and like look what the government's doing to those women.
I can't even believe how brave these women are. I mean,
(35:17):
I don't know that I would be that brave. I
mean I would have to be, because I would have
to stand for something, but I wouldn't be psyched about it.
And I'm sure they're not. But I mean that rock
climber that went, you know, competed the other day and
then flew back to Iran to basically be tortured while
her brother was arrested. I don't I can't believe that
that government is also not seeing the writing on the wall.
(35:39):
You know that they're just killing them and shooting them
and torturing these women and innocent men, and you know,
even children. And I just watched these videos and I
just can't believe these little girls in schools taking off
their jobs and just you know, storming these men throwing
ship at them, like you know, taking the control back,
and and when these people have weapons, It's just unfathomable.
(36:01):
So that stuff keeps me up at night. And climate
change is, you know, is the Big two. Whenever I
see anyone pregnant, I'm like, what are you? What are
you doing? Like this world is spelled taken broad like
that's my cynicism. And I believe, you know, the way
it's been accelerating and the floods all throughout the world
that are happening right now. And I don't know, is
it Are we too late to get around it? It It
feels like it. It feels like it. Are you afraid
(36:23):
of dying? I don't think so. I mean no, that
would be a nice break, you know, like a nice
long sleep. I'm definitely into sleeping. I just hope it's
not something. Oh my god, your TikTok about sleeping and
kids your life? Fun to know why I'm still in
bed and my um, yes, I like to do mushrooms
at eleven am with my landscaper. That's why I don't
have children, because you know who's not doing that people
(36:44):
with children. So okay, so the vaccinated and horny Tour.
For some reason, my New York accent Horny Tour doesn't
come out right to you. When are you shooting or
did you shooting? I shot my sh It's airing on
Netflix December, two days after Christmas. So it's really it's
(37:05):
my best special for sure. Yet I'm really excited about
it for it to come out, for people to see it,
because I'm now back in the groove of doing stand up.
I had taken like a six year hiatus from stand
up because I just didn't feel like I had anything
to contribute, you know. I didn't feel like I had
anything to say. And now I'm like, yeah, I have
something to say, you know. So I came back with
a vengeance. I did my last special at HBO Max,
(37:25):
which was called Evolution, and that was based on my
last book, Life Will Be the Death of Me, which
is about going to therapy after Trump was elected, being
so angry and having being filled with such a vitriol,
you know, about the whole process and and Trump supporters
and the whole Trump family. The fact that I was
going to have to look at Ivanka's and Eric's veneers
(37:45):
for the next four years pissed me off. Then, you know,
I went to therapy. I did really deep work with
this guy, Dan Siegel. I had never been a therapy before.
I really like found out about all my anger and
all my kind of movement throughout my life, and how
I was never able to be still and I was
never able to sit and reflect, and I was never
able to like meditate or be alone, like I always
(38:07):
had people everywhere, and I, you know, I realized I
was so upset about my brother dying when I was nine.
I never dealt with that. I just kind of put
it away and shoved it down. Was like I became invulnerable,
you know, like I wasn't gonna let any man hurt
me again. My father after my brother died, was he
may as well have died too, because he was just
so he was never the same. And so it was
(38:27):
like two of my attachment figures just basically kind of
ditching me. And in a nine year old's brain, that's
like a break up, like an abandonment. Even though there
was an accident, you don't have that you know, uh,
nuance our maturation to to digest it. And my parents
certainly didn't send any of us to therapy. So it
(38:47):
took me a long time to even understand that that
was my issue and that I was so like because
I was so protective of myself because I had to
be at a very young age to not be hurt
by anybody. So I wrote a book about that, my
last book, um and and then I turned it into
because I was like, oh, maybe I can if this
(39:08):
can be in the medium of stand up, Like if
I could make this funny, So that was important for
me to do. So I did that and then I
was like, I like, stand up again, and then I started,
you know, I did another tour and I and this
is it revolution, and I think I'll keep doing it. Now.
I have to say that we are lucky in this
world to have your voice and your power because this
(39:30):
is a time where people like yourself make such a
huge difference. Your voice is really important and that is
such a blessing, So very thankful for you, Chelsea Handler.
You know, there's just nothing better than getting completely lost
in a conversation and talking to Chelsea just does that
(39:51):
for me and I hope you feel the same way.
So before we say goodbye, there is one more question
that I just needed to know. What's your favorite position
for sex? Yes, I think missionary, romantic, not my to
I know, but like kissing and like, yeah, that's my
(40:13):
favorite position, right, Yeah, I like like a guy on
top of me, you know, face to face. Do you
like a like a big guy, like bigger than me? Ideally,
I mean I would like their thighs to be bigger
than mine. But I've also been known to like depart that.
I mean, I've had men with less big or lesser
thighs than I do, and that's not great. But you know,
(40:35):
as you get older, you realize that everybody comes in
all different shapes and sizes. And I'm kind of pleased
with my openness sexually and dating wise. Like if you
look at my track record, it's all over the shop.
So I love that because that's who I am. Like,
I don't have a type, and I don't think I
ever have. I just like when somebody makes me interested
(40:55):
and is compelling, you know that I can completely connect
with And confidence. Confidence is really like attractive, and especially
when you're someone like me who has the ability to
kind of turn men off. Our men will be like, Oh,
she's too loud or she's too brash. You know, Like
it's really intoxicating to be around a man who appreciates
those qualities and understands that I don't have the ability
(41:19):
to be something that I'm not or and I don't
have the desire either, you know, Like I'm embracing myself.
What a joy to have you here, What leisure to
have you on the earth. Like everyone who's at the
table today, I hope you really enjoy this because Chelsea Hamlet,
you are a powerhouse, beautiful, incredible person and I love you.
(41:42):
I'm very happy you came today. Thank you, Bruce, You're
so cute. Cheers cheers, sears to not getting ship faced
at lunch. Table for You with Bruce Bozzy is produced
by IRR Radio so them three seven part in air mail.
Our executive producers are Bruce Bozzy, Jonathan Hans Dressler and
(42:06):
Nathan King. Table for two is edited and written by
Tina Mullen and researched and written by Bridget Arsenalt. Our
sound engineers are Emil B. Klein, Paul Bowman and Alyssa Midcalf.
Table for two is l A. Production team is Danielle
Romo and Lorraine verrez. Our music supervisor is Randall poster
Our Talent booking is by Jane Sarkin. Special thanks to
(42:28):
Amy Sugarman, Uni Share, Kevin Uvaine, Bobby Bower, Alison Cantor, Graber,
Barbara and jan Chen and Jeff Klein and the staff
at the Tower Bar in the world Famie Sunset Tower Hotel.
For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the I Heart
Radio appum Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Host
Bruce Bozzi
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