April 25, 2022 • 21 mins
Maddie and Kenzie decide it’s time to open up to you about their parents’ divorce. Even at a young age it was a really hard time. They want to share how they felt because so many people have experienced the same thing. Talking about it helps… but it does get better!!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Take twenty with Mattie and Kenzie Ziggler, an
I Heart Radio podcast. Hey everyone, um so today is
going to be a how would you say it, kind
of a different tone episode. I think we for the
(00:21):
most part, we're super lighthearted and keep it fun on
this podcast, and I think not that we don't want
to be all those things, but I think, um, we
kind of had it on our mind for a while
to kind of like talk about being kids who have
gone through their parents divorcing. And I know so many
people can relate to this, probably more people than not
(00:43):
honestly at this time for sure. Um So, yeah, we
kind of want to just talk about it, and it's
definitely you know, we just wanted to preface it just
in case anyone gets like triggered by it or you know,
it just makes them upset. Like this is definitely going
to be the tone for the episode. I don't know,
I think it's important to bring it up and something
that we haven't really talked about, and also maybe some
(01:07):
of you can relate to it, and I feel like
you're not alone as well. Totally. Um but yeah, we
so our parents divorced when I was six, so you
would have been four, and it was do you remember
like when we found out? I think it was were
we sitting on Mom's bed? Was that where it was?
I think we were in the kitchen? Was that where
(01:28):
I because I remember I threw a pillow at Mom's head.
I don't really remember. I think I blocked it out
of my head. I think you were so little. I
just remember like moving out. Mm hmm, I remember, yeah,
I remember, and Mom could correct me if I'm wrong,
But I do have a vi memory of me throwing
(01:50):
my pillow at her and saying, I hate you because
I just didn't understand because I was like, what do
you mean that? You guys aren't going to be like
what does that mean? We're so young to comprehend what
that actually means. And so like it was intense, and
I remember, Yeah, we stayed at that house for like
a tiny bit, and then we started we kind of
where did we go? We went? No, we still lived there. Yeah,
(02:11):
we still lived there. Um, I think did our dad
go somewhere else? Yeah? I think that's what it was. Yeah,
we lived there for a little while a little while,
and then my my mom met met Greg step dad,
who we love so much. And we moved in with
him eventually, which is that was such and that's when
(02:32):
we switched schools. Which, by the way, I loved him
from the first time I met him because he had
a really sweet dog, and he gave me a twenty bill.
He knew how to send you. I were best friends. Suspicious.
I was like, we were also older, but not that
much older. By the time we met Greg. I was
when we moved in with him, I was eight seven,
(02:55):
so it was like, you know, around that time. Yeah,
but I feel like, I don't know if this is
I feel like it's situational. But I feel if I
was older, I would be way more It would be
harder for me, just because to accept a new person.
But when I'm when I'm young, I'm like, oh, he
gave me a twanty dollar bill. I love him. Like
(03:16):
it just depends. I mean, it depends on the person also.
But you know what's so weird. I have this vivid
memory that literally just pops into my head. I remember
right after we found out we were obviously in school.
I was in first grade. Yeah, first grade? Is that
how in sick when you're six? Yeah, I was in
first grade, and I remember I was like, Okay, I
(03:39):
think it was my way of coping. Maybe I'm you know,
obviously I was so young, but I remember going up
to my teacher and saying, guess what, I get to
have two Christmases this year. I really remember doing that.
I remember I was talking about and then she's like why,
like how? And then I started crying to my teacher
because I was like my mom and dad like there
(04:01):
it's separate, Like I have to go to my dad's
house and then I have togar my mom's out. Like
it was like that situation. That's really sad. Yeah, I
mean now it's like sad looking. I mean it was
very sad in the moment too, but it's really sad
like hearing it. Yeah, But isn't it weird how you
try and like, like even when I was younger, I
was just trying to like cope and move forward and
just being like trying to make it a lighthearted thing,
(04:22):
like I get double the presence, you know, even though
we never really got double the presence, you know what
I'm saying, Like our dynamic, it was so weird once
once our parents divorced and we started going like two
separate houses kind of our other side of the family,
they kind of like I think they just maybe didn't
(04:42):
love mom and they just kind of stopped like giving us.
I never I don't know, I just felt like we
weren't really a part of it or something. Yeah, that
is really weird, But I honestly don't remember like talking
about it to anyone or like anything. I feel like
it just happened. And then when we move moved schools,
I was just like by guys in movie school, Like
(05:04):
I genuinely don't think I told anyone in that school
or anyone in general, and other than my dance friends.
Like I feel like I felt like I could trust
all of my dance friends, but if I told someone
at my school, it just felt really strange because like
I only see them at school and at the time,
and I'm sure it was more common than we thought,
but at the time, like I felt like we were
(05:24):
really the only all of my friends their parents were together,
Like we were the only ones that had split families,
which was like a really weird thing because you kind
of feel like you're like an outsider in that way.
You just kind of feel like I kind of felt
like we were messy, like that's just how it felt like.
I just felt like we were kind of like I
don't know, like we weren't the picture perfect family anymore.
(05:47):
And maybe that's why too, I made it a point
to say to my teacher, I get too Christmas. Like
I tried to make it like always like everything was okay.
You know, well you're just that kind of person, always
like everything's gonna be okay. I've been like that since
I was little, but I do remember too, Like I
think once we too saw how much happier mom was
(06:11):
not married to like our dad, I we we were
able to realize even at a young age, like oh
my gosh, this is like healthy, like this is this
is good for the family, Like we can all be
happier now you know, there's not this like weight in
the family. And I know a lot of people can
relate to that too. It's hard to move on, but
once you accept that change is coming and you know,
(06:32):
like the dynamics changes, you can see that like maybe
this was really beneficial for us, you know, mm hmm.
I don't know. It's just like it's so weird to
talk I think now to so many people, like all
of the a lot of people I know, the most
majority of their parents are divorced. Same, but a lot
of my friends, their parents are so madly in love
(06:54):
and I've never seen that before. There's my one friend,
like her parents like they look they're just like a
teenage couple. And so it's so weird to see because
obviously growing up, it's like that's just not a common thing.
You think we never had that. No, you think when
parents are together for so long, it's just kind of like, oh,
they're just together for the kids, Like that's just how
it is. But I'm like, oh, my gosh, Like I
(07:16):
want to be like that, you know. I also I
thought parents just fought like I just thought that was
normal because that's just how and I and I thought too,
it was normal that if they thought they would sleep
in separate rooms. And I was like, oh, that's just normal,
that's how. And then when I would go over to
my friend's house and be like they're like your parents, Yeah,
I'm like that's so weird. Like I just thought they
were weird in a way because I was just like
(07:38):
comparing it to our situation too, And that's how. But
that's how Greg and Mom are as it goes on
like and obviously, like all couples have rough patches, but
like right now, it's like, oh my gosh, it's so
cool to see. It's like cool relationship that mom is
in totally. I think too. It is an interesting dynamic
because we had half brothers before we were even like born,
(08:02):
you know, like our dad was married beforehand, and they
had two kids, they split up, and then my dad
married my mom and they had us. And even then
I don't think I was registering these aren't even my
These are like they have a different mom, like that
their mom is't our mom, Like I think even that,
like we kind of had a blended family from the start,
(08:23):
and then afterwards, obviously when my mom remarried Greg, he
had had two kids, and then we're like, oh, we
have more siblings. And then my dad remarried and they
have three kids. So it's like, wow, we have such
a blended family and it is so weird, and I
know a lot of people could probably relate to this.
It's weird to know that, like our half siblings don't
know our step siblings, like they've never met. I have
(08:46):
never thought about and we don't talk about here. We
don't like I don't say to Ryan and Tyler, like
I don't talk to you because we're their only siblings.
So that's so weird, isn't it weird? Oh my gosh,
I've never thought of that, like we're in the middle
like at all because they because what no, because because
dad's kids, uh, our Brian, which is weird because that
(09:08):
just doesn't make sense to me. But I'm saying, our
dad's kids don't know. That's that's weird. That's so weird.
So it is a really interesting dynamic. And I've seen
it more in l A which is interesting that people
and maybe it's people in the industry because their lives
are more public, but they're able to still be there
for each other for their kids, you know, and still
(09:29):
trying to be friends and just do it for the kid. Yeah,
just co parent and do that thing. I think that's
really common, I think more now and I've seen it
even like with the Kardashians. It's so amazing how they're
able to do that with their kids. But I just
don't think that was kind of in the cards for us,
Like I don't think that was that was and it's
not realistic always, you know. Yeah, I don't think it
would have been I don't think that that would have
(09:52):
worked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think like I am
(10:14):
happy that our parents divorced. At the time, it was
like really really hard and I think even now we
still go through like certain feelings and it gets really
intense and just kind of it can be awkward at
times and kind of like there's always this unspoken thing
and there's always two sides to the story, like we
will never you'll never know exactly why, just because we
(10:36):
were so young when it happened that it's kind of
just like, oh yeah, and when you find stuff out
more when you get older and stuff. It's just it's
a really really interesting dynamic. Um. But I would say
like things happened for a reason and it was meant
to happen, absolutely, and I think it brought us closer.
And it's so interesting because when my parents divorced, I
(10:58):
stepped in as the other parents for you, like not
even intentionally, even beforehand before they divorced, you were my mom.
I was telling them in one episodes that you would
pour my milk. My mom used to go to work early, um,
and I my mom got a call from me one
day when I was six, and I was like, Mommy,
the milk is too heavy. I can't pick it up.
(11:20):
I'm trying to make Kenzie cereal because um, our dad
wouldn't wake up to get us ready for school. So
I stepped in at six and I'm like, Okay, I'm
gonna do this for Kenzie. So I would wake up
and i'd get you ready for school and i'd make
you cereal and everything. And my mom, I think that's
when she quit because she was like, she didn't know
that was happening. She didn't know that I was the
(11:41):
one like waking getting you ready, getting us on the
bus in the morning. Like I don't think she knew
that that was the case. Of course, she wouldn't have happened.
I kissed her off, of course. So like, yeah, it's
crazy that that was the dynamic even when we were little,
and that's even now. Sometimes Mom will call me and
say like, hey, I need you to talk to ken
because I don't think she's going to listen if I
(12:01):
tell her. And so honestly, I think the divorce made
us like really strong, like totally you know what, you
know what I'm saying, Like obviously we would fight so much,
but like if I didn't have you there, oh my gosh,
I would be like we we needed each other to
(12:23):
cope through that. And I think that's why we're very
lucky that we are siblings. But even I feel for
kids who go through it alone, like it must be
so scary, you know, like it must just be you
don't really know what to do in the moment, especially
if you're younger. Like we were so young. I don't
think we were able to even fully have that realization, like,
oh my gosh, our family dynamic is completely changing, and
(12:46):
we're going from this family to like we now we
don't live together, Like it's so weird, and then you
have to worry about seeing the like it's it's kind
of stressful because it's like I don't want to make
my mom upset and I don't want to make my
dad upset. So you can because they're both my parents,
you know, so it's like hard to like balance it
for sure. Um I think like and we used to
(13:08):
we would spend the week with our mom and then
go spend the weekends with our dad. That's normally how
it was. Yeah, just like we would go mini golf
or like go do something and then we started working
a lot and like being out in l A. So
it's just hard. It was hard, and I think to like,
as you get older, you're able to form your own
opinion in your own decisions, and you decide what you
(13:31):
want to do and what you're comfortable with. And that's
just kind of how it's happened, you know, and there's
nothing you can do about it, and it's not realistic
to have a perfect family all the time. So anyone listening,
if you're going through something like this, it's you're going
to get through it and it's okay, and you're not
weird or you're not different or like you you shouldn't
feel bad for for this happening, just because it's it's
(13:54):
honestly very common and sometimes situations like this have to
happened for good to come, if that makes sense. But
it is such a it's such a weird thing even
like that, you know what I thought about, Like with
our dog, Like whenever you're you have a family and
you have a family dog and you split who takes
(14:14):
the dog. In this case, we had a family dog
and our cousin took the dog. But like imagine if
like dad took it or Nicole took Gucci. Oh sorry,
I was really young. I'm like the dog exactly, so
like even that is like a weird dynamic, you know,
that is true, like what if we took you know.
(14:35):
And then when we moved in with Greg, we just happened.
He just had a dog, so that became our family dog.
And then we got Malibu. Oh my god, Molly was
the best dog ever. She Greg had this corky She
was so adorable. We loved her dearly. Her name is Molly,
and she she was a low rider. She was she
was okay. And then when we got Malibu, she like
trained Malibu. She trained. We didn't train Malibu at all.
(14:59):
Molly switched up. And remember when because Corgy's we're always
talking about dogs. This is a ridiculous tie and we
have to lighten the moon. I'm sorry, um. Corgis their
legs are really small, so like most of the time
they eventually their back legs don't work. Um. And so Malibu,
when Malibu was like not even one, Molly would go
lay out in the snow under this tree that was
(15:20):
like her her favorite tree, which, by the way, we
tried to bring it over to our new house and
it's new. It's not um, but that didn't work out. Um,
Malibu would push her but to go inside, like you knows, okay,
and Molly hated her. I remember, but she since past.
But we love her. She's she's under that tree. You
(15:43):
know that. I know. Um, But do you know what's
also so interesting now is talking about our parents, like
divorce with our brothers now. Like I was having conversations
with Tyler who's our brother, about um, just like our
(16:04):
moms and how it's so interesting because are like brother's
mom and our mom. They're friends now and they look
the same. But yeah, I'm like, oh my god, our
dad has a type for sure. But um, it's so
funny because they're friends now and I mean they have
obviously something in common. They both divorced from our dad,
but like and they're they're good friends. And I mean,
(16:25):
thank god because because I don't know, they're both like
her and Ryan Tyler like the best people ever. So
it's like something I said, that's it's not awkward that
we can still have a really cool relationship with like
the whole side of their and we can still like
and we can talk about like you know, because obviously
our brothers are still close with our dad, but we
(16:47):
can like talk about things and it's never like there's
never like a boundary or there's never like it's always
just like whatever the thing is, like how friends come
and go, relationships, everything changes, like people in your life,
Like the dynamic will always change. So I don't know,
(17:08):
you never know how our dynamic is going to be
with our family in ten years, it could switch. So
I think, like, like we said, and I'll keep bringing
this up, is the fact that we had each other
through all of this is like really really beneficial and
it would have been so much harder without you. I think.
I think the hardest part was like switching schools. I
think that was like for me, that was really weird
(17:30):
because it's like I made all these friends and in
the middle of the year is like like if it
was at the end of the year, makes you know,
but like in the beginning, in the middle of the year,
it's like, all right, by guys, I'm moving schools. I'll
never see any of you again, and I still haven't
seen any of them and totally it's so weird. And
then getting to the new school and then then like
(17:51):
if they ask about your mom and where's your dad,
where's your parents? Like we're like what do you do?
I'm just like, oh my god, it's so awkward. Like
they're like, who's that man out there? I'm like, well,
that's our stepped at And then they get confused and
you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm in second grade
and I have all of this like stuff that I've
dealt with and people don't understand. And they just don't
get it because we're so young, especially at dance, like
(18:12):
having our dad there and then like having our stepped
up because we were at we were dancing for that
whole time, so I'm sure everyone was just like, wait,
who's this man picking them up now? And it's it's
weird to explain, you know, it's hard. It's hard to
explain it without feeling like you're going to be judged
by the other kids. You know. It's such a weird dynamic.
(18:33):
But I I just like, mm hmm, it's tough. I
don't think I think we've gotten through it. Definitely. It's
been years now, it's been so long. But of course
it's always going to be like something like I for
a while, I was always like when I get married,
I'm going to marry that person forever because I can't
repeat what my parents did because I I it was
(18:54):
so hard on us, you know. I think like a
lot of parents too, when they go through divorces, of course,
they are going to deal with it like crazy, and
it's going to be really hard for them, but like
it's really hard for kids to go through it. At
the same time, it's kind of humiliating in the moment,
and I think, like for the longest time, I was like,
I need to make sure that I don't mess this up,
(19:15):
especially five kids, because like I just don't want them
to have to go through it. But that's just realistic.
Like if things happen, if if it ends up happening
to me, it's like going to be unfortunate, of course,
but it's like you have to move on and you
have to put yourself first sometimes and you know, life happens,
(19:36):
and it's just it's just how it goes. And like
if your friend or your sibling or someone is going
through it, just make sure you're there for them as well,
because that's they just need support and yeah, support and like, yeah,
I can't imagine going through it right now. Right now
would be so tough, like having having like knowing who
(19:57):
you are more and being a young adult and like
having going during that going through that now would be
so interesting. Yeah, So just be there. Just be there
for your friends or your family if one of them
are going through it, they just need support. And anyone
going through this right now or if you did go
through it, you're not alone and there's I would always,
like Kenzie said, always like reach out for support because
(20:19):
it's it's really necessary in a time where you feel lonely. Yeah.
Well that was a heavy episode. Well, thank you guys
for listening. Um, next week we're going to do a
straight comedy episode. We're gonna do a stand up comedy. Um. Yes,
we're gonna write some We're gonna write some skits about divorce.
(20:42):
I'm gonna we're just trying to just okay, okay, guys,
thanks so much for taking twenty with us. If you
had fun, please give us five stars. You can follow
us on Instagram at Take Conny podcast, email at Take
twenty at I heart radio dot com, or you can
(21:02):
call us at eight four four for Take twenty. See
you next time. Him M
This is Take twenty with Mattie and Kenzie Ziggler, an
I Heart Radio podcast. Hey everyone, um so today is
going to be a how would you say it, kind
of a different tone episode. I think we for the
(00:21):
most part, we're super lighthearted and keep it fun on
this podcast, and I think not that we don't want
to be all those things, but I think, um, we
kind of had it on our mind for a while
to kind of like talk about being kids who have
gone through their parents divorcing. And I know so many
people can relate to this, probably more people than not
(00:43):
honestly at this time for sure. Um So, yeah, we
kind of want to just talk about it, and it's
definitely you know, we just wanted to preface it just
in case anyone gets like triggered by it or you know,
it just makes them upset. Like this is definitely going
to be the tone for the episode. I don't know,
I think it's important to bring it up and something
that we haven't really talked about, and also maybe some
(01:07):
of you can relate to it, and I feel like
you're not alone as well. Totally. Um but yeah, we
so our parents divorced when I was six, so you
would have been four, and it was do you remember
like when we found out? I think it was were
we sitting on Mom's bed? Was that where it was?
I think we were in the kitchen? Was that where
(01:28):
I because I remember I threw a pillow at Mom's head.
I don't really remember. I think I blocked it out
of my head. I think you were so little. I
just remember like moving out. Mm hmm, I remember, yeah,
I remember, and Mom could correct me if I'm wrong,
But I do have a vi memory of me throwing
(01:50):
my pillow at her and saying, I hate you because
I just didn't understand because I was like, what do
you mean that? You guys aren't going to be like
what does that mean? We're so young to comprehend what
that actually means. And so like it was intense, and
I remember, Yeah, we stayed at that house for like
a tiny bit, and then we started we kind of
where did we go? We went? No, we still lived there. Yeah,
(02:11):
we still lived there. Um, I think did our dad
go somewhere else? Yeah? I think that's what it was. Yeah,
we lived there for a little while a little while,
and then my my mom met met Greg step dad,
who we love so much. And we moved in with
him eventually, which is that was such and that's when
(02:32):
we switched schools. Which, by the way, I loved him
from the first time I met him because he had
a really sweet dog, and he gave me a twenty bill.
He knew how to send you. I were best friends. Suspicious.
I was like, we were also older, but not that
much older. By the time we met Greg. I was
when we moved in with him, I was eight seven,
(02:55):
so it was like, you know, around that time. Yeah,
but I feel like, I don't know if this is
I feel like it's situational. But I feel if I
was older, I would be way more It would be
harder for me, just because to accept a new person.
But when I'm when I'm young, I'm like, oh, he
gave me a twanty dollar bill. I love him. Like
(03:16):
it just depends. I mean, it depends on the person also.
But you know what's so weird. I have this vivid
memory that literally just pops into my head. I remember
right after we found out we were obviously in school.
I was in first grade. Yeah, first grade? Is that
how in sick when you're six? Yeah, I was in
first grade, and I remember I was like, Okay, I
(03:39):
think it was my way of coping. Maybe I'm you know,
obviously I was so young, but I remember going up
to my teacher and saying, guess what, I get to
have two Christmases this year. I really remember doing that.
I remember I was talking about and then she's like why,
like how? And then I started crying to my teacher
because I was like my mom and dad like there
(04:01):
it's separate, Like I have to go to my dad's
house and then I have togar my mom's out. Like
it was like that situation. That's really sad. Yeah, I
mean now it's like sad looking. I mean it was
very sad in the moment too, but it's really sad
like hearing it. Yeah, But isn't it weird how you
try and like, like even when I was younger, I
was just trying to like cope and move forward and
just being like trying to make it a lighthearted thing,
(04:22):
like I get double the presence, you know, even though
we never really got double the presence, you know what
I'm saying, Like our dynamic, it was so weird once
once our parents divorced and we started going like two
separate houses kind of our other side of the family,
they kind of like I think they just maybe didn't
(04:42):
love mom and they just kind of stopped like giving us.
I never I don't know, I just felt like we
weren't really a part of it or something. Yeah, that
is really weird, But I honestly don't remember like talking
about it to anyone or like anything. I feel like
it just happened. And then when we move moved schools,
I was just like by guys in movie school, Like
(05:04):
I genuinely don't think I told anyone in that school
or anyone in general, and other than my dance friends.
Like I feel like I felt like I could trust
all of my dance friends, but if I told someone
at my school, it just felt really strange because like
I only see them at school and at the time,
and I'm sure it was more common than we thought,
but at the time, like I felt like we were
(05:24):
really the only all of my friends their parents were together,
Like we were the only ones that had split families,
which was like a really weird thing because you kind
of feel like you're like an outsider in that way.
You just kind of feel like I kind of felt
like we were messy, like that's just how it felt like.
I just felt like we were kind of like I
don't know, like we weren't the picture perfect family anymore.
(05:47):
And maybe that's why too, I made it a point
to say to my teacher, I get too Christmas. Like
I tried to make it like always like everything was okay.
You know, well you're just that kind of person, always
like everything's gonna be okay. I've been like that since
I was little, but I do remember too, Like I
think once we too saw how much happier mom was
(06:11):
not married to like our dad, I we we were
able to realize even at a young age, like oh
my gosh, this is like healthy, like this is this
is good for the family, Like we can all be
happier now you know, there's not this like weight in
the family. And I know a lot of people can
relate to that too. It's hard to move on, but
once you accept that change is coming and you know,
(06:32):
like the dynamics changes, you can see that like maybe
this was really beneficial for us, you know, mm hmm.
I don't know. It's just like it's so weird to
talk I think now to so many people, like all
of the a lot of people I know, the most
majority of their parents are divorced. Same, but a lot
of my friends, their parents are so madly in love
(06:54):
and I've never seen that before. There's my one friend,
like her parents like they look they're just like a
teenage couple. And so it's so weird to see because
obviously growing up, it's like that's just not a common thing.
You think we never had that. No, you think when
parents are together for so long, it's just kind of like, oh,
they're just together for the kids, Like that's just how
it is. But I'm like, oh, my gosh, Like I
(07:16):
want to be like that, you know. I also I
thought parents just fought like I just thought that was
normal because that's just how and I and I thought too,
it was normal that if they thought they would sleep
in separate rooms. And I was like, oh, that's just normal,
that's how. And then when I would go over to
my friend's house and be like they're like your parents, Yeah,
I'm like that's so weird. Like I just thought they
were weird in a way because I was just like
(07:38):
comparing it to our situation too, And that's how. But
that's how Greg and Mom are as it goes on
like and obviously, like all couples have rough patches, but
like right now, it's like, oh my gosh, it's so
cool to see. It's like cool relationship that mom is
in totally. I think too. It is an interesting dynamic
because we had half brothers before we were even like born,
(08:02):
you know, like our dad was married beforehand, and they
had two kids, they split up, and then my dad
married my mom and they had us. And even then
I don't think I was registering these aren't even my
These are like they have a different mom, like that
their mom is't our mom, Like I think even that,
like we kind of had a blended family from the start,
(08:23):
and then afterwards, obviously when my mom remarried Greg, he
had had two kids, and then we're like, oh, we
have more siblings. And then my dad remarried and they
have three kids. So it's like, wow, we have such
a blended family and it is so weird, and I
know a lot of people could probably relate to this.
It's weird to know that, like our half siblings don't
know our step siblings, like they've never met. I have
(08:46):
never thought about and we don't talk about here. We
don't like I don't say to Ryan and Tyler, like
I don't talk to you because we're their only siblings.
So that's so weird, isn't it weird? Oh my gosh,
I've never thought of that, like we're in the middle
like at all because they because what no, because because
dad's kids, uh, our Brian, which is weird because that
(09:08):
just doesn't make sense to me. But I'm saying, our
dad's kids don't know. That's that's weird. That's so weird.
So it is a really interesting dynamic. And I've seen
it more in l A which is interesting that people
and maybe it's people in the industry because their lives
are more public, but they're able to still be there
for each other for their kids, you know, and still
(09:29):
trying to be friends and just do it for the kid. Yeah,
just co parent and do that thing. I think that's
really common, I think more now and I've seen it
even like with the Kardashians. It's so amazing how they're
able to do that with their kids. But I just
don't think that was kind of in the cards for us,
Like I don't think that was that was and it's
not realistic always, you know. Yeah, I don't think it
would have been I don't think that that would have
(09:52):
worked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think like I am
(10:14):
happy that our parents divorced. At the time, it was
like really really hard and I think even now we
still go through like certain feelings and it gets really
intense and just kind of it can be awkward at
times and kind of like there's always this unspoken thing
and there's always two sides to the story, like we
will never you'll never know exactly why, just because we
(10:36):
were so young when it happened that it's kind of
just like, oh yeah, and when you find stuff out
more when you get older and stuff. It's just it's
a really really interesting dynamic. Um. But I would say
like things happened for a reason and it was meant
to happen, absolutely, and I think it brought us closer.
And it's so interesting because when my parents divorced, I
(10:58):
stepped in as the other parents for you, like not
even intentionally, even beforehand before they divorced, you were my mom.
I was telling them in one episodes that you would
pour my milk. My mom used to go to work early, um,
and I my mom got a call from me one
day when I was six, and I was like, Mommy,
the milk is too heavy. I can't pick it up.
(11:20):
I'm trying to make Kenzie cereal because um, our dad
wouldn't wake up to get us ready for school. So
I stepped in at six and I'm like, Okay, I'm
gonna do this for Kenzie. So I would wake up
and i'd get you ready for school and i'd make
you cereal and everything. And my mom, I think that's
when she quit because she was like, she didn't know
that was happening. She didn't know that I was the
(11:41):
one like waking getting you ready, getting us on the
bus in the morning. Like I don't think she knew
that that was the case. Of course, she wouldn't have happened.
I kissed her off, of course. So like, yeah, it's
crazy that that was the dynamic even when we were little,
and that's even now. Sometimes Mom will call me and
say like, hey, I need you to talk to ken
because I don't think she's going to listen if I
(12:01):
tell her. And so honestly, I think the divorce made
us like really strong, like totally you know what, you
know what I'm saying, Like obviously we would fight so much,
but like if I didn't have you there, oh my gosh,
I would be like we we needed each other to
(12:23):
cope through that. And I think that's why we're very
lucky that we are siblings. But even I feel for
kids who go through it alone, like it must be
so scary, you know, like it must just be you
don't really know what to do in the moment, especially
if you're younger. Like we were so young. I don't
think we were able to even fully have that realization, like,
oh my gosh, our family dynamic is completely changing, and
(12:46):
we're going from this family to like we now we
don't live together, Like it's so weird, and then you
have to worry about seeing the like it's it's kind
of stressful because it's like I don't want to make
my mom upset and I don't want to make my
dad upset. So you can because they're both my parents,
you know, so it's like hard to like balance it
for sure. Um I think like and we used to
(13:08):
we would spend the week with our mom and then
go spend the weekends with our dad. That's normally how
it was. Yeah, just like we would go mini golf
or like go do something and then we started working
a lot and like being out in l A. So
it's just hard. It was hard, and I think to like,
as you get older, you're able to form your own
opinion in your own decisions, and you decide what you
(13:31):
want to do and what you're comfortable with. And that's
just kind of how it's happened, you know, and there's
nothing you can do about it, and it's not realistic
to have a perfect family all the time. So anyone listening,
if you're going through something like this, it's you're going
to get through it and it's okay, and you're not
weird or you're not different or like you you shouldn't
feel bad for for this happening, just because it's it's
(13:54):
honestly very common and sometimes situations like this have to
happened for good to come, if that makes sense. But
it is such a it's such a weird thing even
like that, you know what I thought about, Like with
our dog, Like whenever you're you have a family and
you have a family dog and you split who takes
(14:14):
the dog. In this case, we had a family dog
and our cousin took the dog. But like imagine if
like dad took it or Nicole took Gucci. Oh sorry,
I was really young. I'm like the dog exactly, so
like even that is like a weird dynamic, you know,
that is true, like what if we took you know.
(14:35):
And then when we moved in with Greg, we just happened.
He just had a dog, so that became our family dog.
And then we got Malibu. Oh my god, Molly was
the best dog ever. She Greg had this corky She
was so adorable. We loved her dearly. Her name is Molly,
and she she was a low rider. She was she
was okay. And then when we got Malibu, she like
trained Malibu. She trained. We didn't train Malibu at all.
(14:59):
Molly switched up. And remember when because Corgy's we're always
talking about dogs. This is a ridiculous tie and we
have to lighten the moon. I'm sorry, um. Corgis their
legs are really small, so like most of the time
they eventually their back legs don't work. Um. And so Malibu,
when Malibu was like not even one, Molly would go
lay out in the snow under this tree that was
(15:20):
like her her favorite tree, which, by the way, we
tried to bring it over to our new house and
it's new. It's not um, but that didn't work out. Um,
Malibu would push her but to go inside, like you knows, okay,
and Molly hated her. I remember, but she since past.
But we love her. She's she's under that tree. You
(15:43):
know that. I know. Um, But do you know what's
also so interesting now is talking about our parents, like
divorce with our brothers now. Like I was having conversations
with Tyler who's our brother, about um, just like our
(16:04):
moms and how it's so interesting because are like brother's
mom and our mom. They're friends now and they look
the same. But yeah, I'm like, oh my god, our
dad has a type for sure. But um, it's so
funny because they're friends now and I mean they have
obviously something in common. They both divorced from our dad,
but like and they're they're good friends. And I mean,
(16:25):
thank god because because I don't know, they're both like
her and Ryan Tyler like the best people ever. So
it's like something I said, that's it's not awkward that
we can still have a really cool relationship with like
the whole side of their and we can still like
and we can talk about like you know, because obviously
our brothers are still close with our dad, but we
(16:47):
can like talk about things and it's never like there's
never like a boundary or there's never like it's always
just like whatever the thing is, like how friends come
and go, relationships, everything changes, like people in your life,
Like the dynamic will always change. So I don't know,
(17:08):
you never know how our dynamic is going to be
with our family in ten years, it could switch. So
I think, like, like we said, and I'll keep bringing
this up, is the fact that we had each other
through all of this is like really really beneficial and
it would have been so much harder without you. I think.
I think the hardest part was like switching schools. I
think that was like for me, that was really weird
(17:30):
because it's like I made all these friends and in
the middle of the year is like like if it
was at the end of the year, makes you know,
but like in the beginning, in the middle of the year,
it's like, all right, by guys, I'm moving schools. I'll
never see any of you again, and I still haven't
seen any of them and totally it's so weird. And
then getting to the new school and then then like
(17:51):
if they ask about your mom and where's your dad,
where's your parents? Like we're like what do you do?
I'm just like, oh my god, it's so awkward. Like
they're like, who's that man out there? I'm like, well,
that's our stepped at And then they get confused and
you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm in second grade
and I have all of this like stuff that I've
dealt with and people don't understand. And they just don't
get it because we're so young, especially at dance, like
(18:12):
having our dad there and then like having our stepped
up because we were at we were dancing for that
whole time, so I'm sure everyone was just like, wait,
who's this man picking them up now? And it's it's
weird to explain, you know, it's hard. It's hard to
explain it without feeling like you're going to be judged
by the other kids. You know. It's such a weird dynamic.
(18:33):
But I I just like, mm hmm, it's tough. I
don't think I think we've gotten through it. Definitely. It's
been years now, it's been so long. But of course
it's always going to be like something like I for
a while, I was always like when I get married,
I'm going to marry that person forever because I can't
repeat what my parents did because I I it was
(18:54):
so hard on us, you know. I think like a
lot of parents too, when they go through divorces, of course,
they are going to deal with it like crazy, and
it's going to be really hard for them, but like
it's really hard for kids to go through it. At
the same time, it's kind of humiliating in the moment,
and I think, like for the longest time, I was like,
I need to make sure that I don't mess this up,
(19:15):
especially five kids, because like I just don't want them
to have to go through it. But that's just realistic.
Like if things happen, if if it ends up happening
to me, it's like going to be unfortunate, of course,
but it's like you have to move on and you
have to put yourself first sometimes and you know, life happens,
(19:36):
and it's just it's just how it goes. And like
if your friend or your sibling or someone is going
through it, just make sure you're there for them as well,
because that's they just need support and yeah, support and like, yeah,
I can't imagine going through it right now. Right now
would be so tough, like having having like knowing who
(19:57):
you are more and being a young adult and like
having going during that going through that now would be
so interesting. Yeah, So just be there. Just be there
for your friends or your family if one of them
are going through it, they just need support. And anyone
going through this right now or if you did go
through it, you're not alone and there's I would always,
like Kenzie said, always like reach out for support because
(20:19):
it's it's really necessary in a time where you feel lonely. Yeah.
Well that was a heavy episode. Well, thank you guys
for listening. Um, next week we're going to do a
straight comedy episode. We're gonna do a stand up comedy. Um. Yes,
we're gonna write some We're gonna write some skits about divorce.
(20:42):
I'm gonna we're just trying to just okay, okay, guys,
thanks so much for taking twenty with us. If you
had fun, please give us five stars. You can follow
us on Instagram at Take Conny podcast, email at Take
twenty at I heart radio dot com, or you can
(21:02):
call us at eight four four for Take twenty. See
you next time. Him M
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