December 16, 2024 • 51 mins
If you've been a Bobby Bones Show listener than you may remember this week's guest, Hillary Borden! She is one of Morgan's best friends, so they sat down to catch up on a microphone about life ever since she left the show. They get into career changes, Hillary's first and current relationship, and some mental health check-ins.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Personally Mogan Foldsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
If you're a listener of the Bobby Bone Show, then
you're gonna know my guest this week. Her name is
Hillary and she used to be on The Bobby Bone
Show with me. But if you're not a listener, that's
totally cool because she's also one of my really good
friends and we're already get totally caught up on life.
It will be girl chat if you will. We're going
to talk changing careers, her finding her boyfriend, who is
her first one ever, and they're talking about marriage and
(00:40):
of course we have to get into some mental health
stuff too. So without brother Ado, please meet one of
my good friends. MS Hillary. Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hillary, I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm excited to get a talk with you auto microphone.
Not that I haven't talked to you in a long time,
but this is our first official talk on a microphone
since you left the show.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, it's been almost three years. I was thinking about
that today. I was like, this is the first time
I've been behind a microphone in almost three years. And
the last time i was was probably the last best
Bits episode I recorded with you. Yeah, probably the last time.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
It definitely would have been. Yeah, especially like a conversation
between you and I. Yes, yeah, wow, A lot of
life has happened since then. I know you want to
like give it a catch up. Okay, well this whole
thing is catching up. You want to share, like, Okay,
you left the show?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
What'd you do? What? Like life events? What went down?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yes, no drama or anything. I think people were probably like,
why did you leave? Like did something happen? But nothing happened.
I feel like it was kind of a I was
turning thirty and I had my entire twenties, I'd been
in RADI almost ten years had been radio, and I
just had really thought I really want to try something
(02:04):
new going into my thirties, and I just kind of
had that I don't know, like a pool. There was
just something telling me like, go try something, go do something.
And so it was a very scary decision because radio.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Is my comfort.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
That's all I know is radio. So I ended up, yeah,
leaving and found a job at a record label. I'm
a project manager now. And yeah, it's that was I
think April will be three years ago, which is crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
And how do you feel in this new job? Like
are you happy? You're still in the industry.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yes, I'm happy I'm still in the industry. I do
miss radio, Like there will be times where I'll see
stuff on socials I'm like, dang, I do miss the
show and I miss everyone there. Obviously we still talk
all the time, so it's like nothing's changed between me
and you. But yeah, I do miss radio. There's so
many times where I'll see videos, not even just the show,
(02:59):
but other radio people, my friends in radio, and I
see them doing stuff. I'm like, dang, I miss it
so much. So yeah, I do miss radio.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Do you think there's a world in which you go
back for the right situation.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Maybe I'm keeping my options opened, like if the right opportunity.
I feel that way about anything, even if it was
something non music industry related. Honestly, anything I have learned
just to keep my options open, and who knows what
could happen.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Do you think like getting out of the music industry entirely, though,
would make you sad because you do really love music.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I think so, yeah, it would make me sad. I've
thought about it before. I'm like, Okay, what if I
tried something completely different, because I do want to just
try new things, And that was the part of me
leaving was just to try something new and learn something
about myself and grow my skills in other areas. So
I think if it was the right opportunity and it
(03:55):
was something I think I would enjoy, then I would.
I can't see myself going and being like accountant or anything,
or you know, going back to school to be a lawyer. Yeah,
absolutely not. I'm not going back to school. That's a
for sure not happening. But yeah, I think it would
have to be something marketing, fun, something in that realm.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
What about always in Nashville? I know, yes, as long
as I've known you, you've missed Florida, which is your
home state.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, I am from Florida. I do miss Florida, but
I love Nashville so much that I can't see myself leaving.
I'm working on getting my family here.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
That's getting them to move here.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Where where we're at right now is I don't want
to leave, so you need to come up here? And
how are we working on that?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You know? I they were just here and they came
to visit, so I take them to you know, pretty places,
like isn't it so nice being out?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
There's mountains right there in trees, not that they don't
have trees in Florida, but it's just it's a different
everything different. It's a different vibe here in Tennessee. And
I think my family would like it here. I keep
I just keep telling them, you're gonna love it here.
It's great. It's very calm and peaceful. I'm happy and
(05:14):
I'm here, so you should come and you're here. That's
all the Yeah, and they need that's the only reason,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I have tried on multiple friends and family to get
them to move to Nashville, and I have been unsuccessful
on every single one.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah, it's hard. Me and you are both trying, I know,
and it hasn't worked. No, Okay, but not just career wise.
So a lot has changed just in your life in general.
You've had a boyfriend for a long time. Yes, When
is it into February early March? Will be two years,
which is so crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay. Do you want to share how you guys met,
because that's as wild.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yes, we did meet at work. We set three seats
down for each other. We worked together for an entire
year before we started dating. We started hanging out more
and to see. What happened was he invited me to church.
I had been talking to him at work and I
just mentioned I didn't really know he went to church,
and I said that I was looking for a church home,
(06:11):
and he said, why don't you come to my church?
So I ended up going the first service I went to.
It was like a special anniversary that they were having,
and it was at the rhymen and Carrie Underwood showed up.
So I'm like, well, this was a great first church
service to go to. So but then I ended up
going to like the actual services and really loved it.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
So I started going here at them show up some more.
Just the one time she she.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Goes to church there?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Okay, yeah, and she.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Recently saying there a few months ago, and I've been
seeing it on social media. It's so interesting to see
your church just like on news sites and stuff. I'm like, oh,
this is interesting. But yeah, it's the same church she goes.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Too, which is kind of kids Matt in Away, because
you love Carrie Underwood.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Love Carrie Underwood.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
She might be one of your top three.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yes, she is definitely in my top three?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Is she your top one? Though? I've like Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It's between her and Taylor Swift. Probably such a hard one,
but probably Taylor. If you go look at my whatever
you call it wrapped or whatever, that is, Taylor's my top. Well.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
You also haven't had any carry Underwood parties. You've only
had Kaylu and Taylor Switch parties. Not just one, but
a few.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh a few. Yeah, get excited about these album releases
you do. Yeah, now that in my job, I have
to plan actual album release parties. So I feel like
I'm so into doing them for work that in my
own personal life, I'm like, I don't need another another
party to plan.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
So when you did the first album release party where
you like, oh, I can do this, I've I've been
doing these personally forever, and then you're like, oh this
it becomes when it's part of your job where this
isn't fun anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like, oh, this was fun whatever, you know,
when you're doing it personally. But then you're just like,
I can't do this, I can't plan it, I can't
plan anything else. Yeah, I put all my focus into
planning my my work parties.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yes. Yeah, So back to the boyfriend's situation, because when
you were on the show, you were single and you
had shared the hardships of dating. Yes, much like me.
Which is funny that you when you left the show
and you got a new job and you met this
boyfriend in the new job. Have you ever thought about that?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I actually have. It feels like such a god
thing of Okay, maybe this is why I left because
if I wouldn't have left, we would have never met
each other. And I do feel like he's the one.
I do think we're gonna get married. We've talked about it,
We've been ring shopping, We've done all the things. So
definitely feel that way about him. And it's crazy that
if I would have stayed, I would have never met him.
(08:37):
There's just we wouldn't have crossed paths. So definitely the
kindest guy ever.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Genuinely, I don't think I've met a more kind human being.
He's just always smiling, always happy, always willing to help.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yes, he is. Like he is the happiest person I
have ever met in my life and the kindest I know.
He would do anything for anyone. And he's so sweet
about my friend too, Like he always asks about y'all
and like random stuff. Yes, he watches y'all. Stories like
your things, very supportive, but he'll always ask randomly. We'll
(09:10):
just be sitting there, how's Morgan. HIL's been doing? Like
she's good, same.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Same, same updates.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, she's doing good. But yeah, he always asks about
y'all and wants to know what's going on with y'all.
And just having somebody who actually cares not just about me,
but my friends and my family. Is that just I
don't know. That says so much to me about somebody's character.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I know, and everybody collectively is super happy for you
because they got to follow a piece of your story
and now you're in this gray relationship. So that's exciting. Yeah,
and I knew about the ring shopping and stuff, But
is there more to that that I don't know about yet?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
No, because I don't think there's anything I know, Like, like,
I think something's coming. God, I don't think I've really
said that out loud, but I think something's Okay, he'll
get a text.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I mean, I'm sure it won't be coming at some point.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I better get a text, Oh fatime to see the Yeah,
I'm so sorry you're getting a FaceTime not a text.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
I mean, if it's here, I better also be there.
But yeah, you have a feeling it may not.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Be I think. I think maybe over the holidays.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Okay, I have my feeling he's going to do it
around your family because your family is so important to you.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, we're going to be near his family and my family,
so there will be two opportunities.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, but if I know him and I know you,
I think he will do it around your family. And
maybe he like flies out his family to be there too.
But I just imagine he's going to do it around
your family.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I think so too. Me and you're on the same
way of length. Like I, I'm even nervous to say
this because if he knows that I have a suspicion,
he may change his plans.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
But you don't have to say it if you like,
I think.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
It may happen. I need to make sure my nails
aren't painted right now, but I'm going to make sure
I'm going home tonight to paint my nails, and they're
gonna be painted just for the foreseeable future, because you
never know when it could happen.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
This is true, So you can't have a plane nail
for the next month at least.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I'm like hiding them right now because I'm embarrassed now.
But yeah, we need to go paint nails. I picked
out the color last night. I was like, this looks
like a nice color if I were to get engaged,
this is the color I want to be wearing.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
What is the kind of ring you want that you've
been telling him that you want?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Oh, it's picked out, Like I know, I've always kind
of known what I wanted. I really want an oval,
an oval ring with are they called? What are they called?
I can't think of the Oh, Marquee. It's a Marquee
diamond like on its side as the band. It's like
the band would be like Marquee diamonds and then an
(11:44):
oval in the middle. But I told him silver gold.
I said, this is what I like. But if you
feel inspired by something else or there's you know, you
do you you know what I want, just go with
it and do whatever. I'll be happy with anything.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I don't care. Okay, but will you actually be happy
with anything because you've had this one picked out for
so long?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I would? I know I say that hesitantly, but I
would because I mean I honestly, at the end of
the day, I just want to marry him. Yeah, but
he is the type of person he's not gonna he's
not gonna stray like he If.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
He does, it'll be similar or something better. I feel like, yes, yeah,
And maybe that's why you're not as nervous to say, like,
do what you want?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, because he has my guidance I made. So It's
funny is I made a note section in my phone
of what I liked, and it has all the details
and everything, and I sent it, I think it was
to my mom. And one day me and him were talking.
This is before me and him actually went ring shopping.
I had an idea of what I wanted and I
(12:43):
had sent it to my mom and I was talking
to him and he said, I know nothing about rings.
What do you even want? I said, Oh, I have
a whole note section. I shared it with my mom.
He goes, why wouldn't you share it with me? I'm
the person who's picking it out, Like, I think, I
need to.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Know you know what you want. So I went to
her and said, of saying anything to.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
You, that's what I thought was gonna happen. I said,
I thought you had went to my mom, not to me.
I don't know I've never done this before, so I
don't know what I'm supposed.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
To do different. Some guys go to the friends, sometimes
the guys out of the family. Sometimes they tell nobody,
sometimes they ask the woman. It's like it depends on
the partner that you have.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, Like, what are you supposed to do in these situations?
There's no rule book.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Have you always been because this is what's so funny
about me at this point in my life. But I
feel like you've stayed consistent in this. Like I had
a Pinterest board growing up of everything I wanted at
my wedding, the house that I wanted, and the different
clothes I wanted to wear as I got older, Like
all these different boards of inspiration of ways that I
had panned for like one of my life to turn out.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, none of it.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I don't think I stayed consistent. I don't think of that.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I actually have the same for myself.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Okay, but you were more consistent than I am in that.
I feel like you've kind of always had this feeling
of like this is what I want. So have your
things matched up with your Pinterest boards?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yes? And no. I feel like I've definitely changed. So
I also think I need to mention too. This is
my first boyfriend, like I never had a boyfriend before him,
and we started eating when I was thirty. So I
think as I started getting later in my twenties, I
thought I may actually never get married and I need
to accept this. So I think in my mind I
was starting to accept that the dreams I had for myself,
(14:32):
like the house, the wedding, everything may not happen. So
things have kind of changed since then. But I do
think what I would want now is very different than
what I would have wanted in my twenties. I think
as I've gotten to be an adult, I realized how
expensive things are.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
A weddingess usual.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
And I don't know if you've ever googled what is
the average cost of a wedding in Tennessee, But it's
quite a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I would imagine somewhere in the fifty thousand range. It's
not higher.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
It's probably like a higher thirties forties, okay, which I
am just I am not about I that is a
down payment on a house.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's also a down payment on a car. It's actually
might be a whole vehicle.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
It's a whole vehicle. Would you rather have a car
or wedding. That's one day. This has been a whole
conversation me and him have had about weddings and things
like that. It's turned into a whole thing of obviously
I want something nice, you know, where my friends are
gonna be in family, but I can't stomach paying that
(15:32):
price and it yeah, it's just not I Also it's
opened up another whole nother conversation. I have thought about
this so much. Why is it always like automatically assumed
the bride's family is supposed to pay for a wedding.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Like it's the old school traditions I think rooted in
the fact that the husband spends the rest of his
life providing and taking care.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Of Yes, I googled it is that what it is?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
That is? He's my best.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Guess that is so old fashioned. I'm so sorry, But
there's there are women out there who make him more
than a man. Now. Yeah, and it'e I'm about to
open up a can of worms. People a gonna be
mad at me, but no.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But I mean you you still have people who what
the traditional and I think that's great if that's what
you want. And I think you have a lot of
people who don't. So it is interesting that, like one
of the most old school traditional things is something that
we don't ever like talk about. We just assume it's
still going to happen, even though everything else has changed.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I've never heard anybody talk about this before, and it
really baffles me that nobody talks about this. And I
got talked to my parents and I'm like, I can't
ask you for forty thousand dollars to pay for a
wedding for me. I just can't imagine. Y'all have been
so gracious my entire life, and I just can't. I
can't do that. And you come from a you're like
(16:50):
my family, three girls in my family, four in your family,
your dad and girls, your dad and my dad right
now are probably applauding us, like yes, yes, why are
recent honest on me? But I just don't understand, Like
why is it why why is it still automatically assumed
that a bride's family is paying for a wedding.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
You know what's funny is like my parents are towards
the point of thinking of retirement and where that's at
in their lives and when they're gonna do it and whatever,
and one of their conversations is like, well Morgan isn't
married yet, and they're like, well, we need to make
sure we have like this. And I overheard this conversation.
I was like, stop right there. I do not care
(17:30):
what your plans are for retirement. Do whatever you guys
want to do, but you are not basing this off
of pain for a wedding for me. Yes, like you have.
Guys have done so wonderful providing for me my entire life.
And I appreciate that you guys want to do that
and if you want to do certain things around that gray,
but you're not paying for an entire wedding. Also, I'm
probably going to get married on a mountain somewhere and
(17:50):
you won't have to worry about it.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I love it. I love that. That sounds like my
dream wedding too. I feel the same way, like you've
provided so much for me, and my mom's like, you know,
we're gonna want to, you know, pay some of it,
and I said, but I can't let you pay for
all of it. You know, I'm an adult making money.
I just feel like, you know, it's a couple we
can we can pay for. It's our wedding. So yeah,
I feel the same way.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
How does uh Tyler, which is your boyfriend. Yeah, you've
posted about it.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I can say, yeah, we're good, We're not super fine.
You can call him out.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
How does he feel in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
He I think at first, because he's never thought about
it either, nobody's thought about it, because again it's automatically
assumed that a bride's family just pays for it. So
he's never thought about it. Yeah, and once I explained it,
he was like, oh okay, and he gets it. And
he also understands It's funny because when we first had
this conversation, he was, I want to have a huge wedding.
(18:48):
We're inviting everybody, even the mailman, Like, we're inviting everyone, Like,
I want everybody there.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
This's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
And once we really talked about it financially, of this
is a lot of money. Do you want to buy
a house? We have future we need a plan for Yeah,
we might need a SkELL Is back. So he absolutely
gets it now and he's on board. And I like
you to mention your parents wanting to retire. I want
my parents to retire. I don't want them to have
(19:13):
to spend more money on me. They've already you know,
so kind, they paid for my college, They've paid for
so much in my life that they don't need to
pay this.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah. And I don't think you and I are alone
in that feeling. I think a lot of yeah, especially
as we get older, because I do think this is
also changing with the shift of getting married older. I
think when you get married younger, you don't have the money,
you don't have the funds, you haven't been working in
a career long right to have this idea of what
how money moves and forms and how it transpires and
(19:48):
wasting thirty thousand dollars on a wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
But the older you get, you're like, oh, you know,
maybe not, or I don't want to do this, and
you just have different views and perspectives. Yep, And still
some I also think is all so when families want
to if there's families out there who they are like, no,
this is we want to do this.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Part of it cool, sure, business, but just.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Even the idea of a big wedding in general. Now,
I'm like, I don't think I want to.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
I don't I don't want a big wedding. I'm like
I've even debated which I want them, but like bridesmaids
and stuff, because I don't want y'all to have to
pay for anything either. So I'm very much I'm very
money conscious, and I've even thought of I've seen people
doing airbnb weddings, which is a little cheaper as well.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Where you get married, stay there all the things.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, like the whole family can come stay, and I
want it to be I'm not a big party person,
Like I don't dance, I don't do any of that,
you know me, And I I want it to be
like an experience, like if we could all go stay
in a cabin somewhere for a couple of days and
like make it fun and make it like kind of
like a vacation. Yeah, an experience of some sort. So
(20:55):
that's kind of where my head is, which I need
a ring before I can actually play anything. That's okay,
But this is how my brain works. I just like
I spiral, I think of everything.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
But this is the variation of pinterest board now right
where you're actually picturing what is possible in what you
think is the actual reality of life. Yes, you know,
not just that. Oh, these are the dream goals and
you're picking things that are the things that I would
pin on my pinders board were probably twenty thousand dollars,
(21:25):
you know what I mean, like exact crazy things that
I would put.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Had no idea what you were doing.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
No, even though I go back and look at them
and I'm like, what was that?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Even? What was I thinking I had? I don't know
if you had to do this in home med class,
but we had to do a whole Like do you
know what home meck is? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Ours, I think ours was called homeck too. Okay, that
was but that was like our food sewing.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, yeah, you do all like the the things. Yeah,
like you learned how to cook and like we sewed
pillowcases and things like that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I made a quilt in that class. Oh that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
We did not do that. We just did the whole pillowcases,
just a little one.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It was not anything fancy.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
That might have been the advanced run. I think I
might have continued in the advance. But what's crazy is
I don't have any of those skills.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Oh, I have none of them. Like it's very pitiful.
I didn't learn much in HOMEGG. It was not when
it happened, I don't even know if I did. No,
I don't think I did.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Did you have to carry around the baby? No, you
know we did.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
We had to carry on eggs like we had. We
had like you go buy a carton of eggs and
you had to carry them around like in a little basket,
the whole carton. No, like you could pick how many
you wanted, like if you wanted two kids, there were
your kids got it?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
And I remem where they were just were like little
white bere eggs.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah, they were just like, oh I put a face
on them, so like you made them look like you know,
you may have a face.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
It is a literal, like little literal because they are
an egg.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, and you would be graded on if you came
back and they had a crack or a scratch or anything.
You were graded on that, which kind of honestly is
a little smart because if you you know, if there's
a crack in your egg, then clearly you did not
do a great job. So we were all walking around
with our little baskets like don't come near us, don't
crack our little eggs, and we'd have to put them
(23:12):
on our desks.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
How long did you have to care for the eggs.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Oh, I don't even remember. It was probably a few weeks.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Maybe that's insane though, because listen, I get it, like
kids are fragile. Yeah, but eggs, eggs like crack out
a touch. I know you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I know that's what we were in charge of.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Though. Oh that's funny.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yeah, I think mine survived. If I remember, you also
naturally have motherly instincts. That's always been a part of you.
Like even in our friendship, you just have natural mother instincts.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
I think so too. I like, I just care, like
I'm the one who I like to check in on everybody,
make sure everybody's doing okay.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Oh, and you're totally gonna be a helicopter mom.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Oh you think so? Oh that scares me.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You know why, because you already like you already like
to watch us, like where we're going, and you're like, oh,
there you are, So.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
You're totally gonna be doing that time my friend.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yes, I know, I admitted.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I admitted to everyone that because I follow, we all
follow each other. I'm like, there will be just some
nights and like this gonnake sounds so creepy, but I'll
just be laying in bed, Like, I just want to
make sure everybody's okay, and so I check my little
app I'm like, okay, Morgan's at her house, Doty's at hers,
Gillian's here, Morgan's other, Morgan's my neighbor, so I know
she's like right next door to me. So I just
like to make sure everybody's in their house and everybody's safe.
(24:29):
I don't do that often, it's just occasionally if I'm
thinking about y'all, I like to make sure you're good.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
You do and it's a great quality trait. But you're
totally gonna be doing that with your kids.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I hope I'm a cool mom. I don't want to
be a helicopter mom.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I think you'll also be a cool mom, but you
will be a helicopter mom. I think that's just part
of your care. Yeah, you know, I care because Karen
can also come off as overbearing to a teenage kid,
you know what I mean, So like it will be
out of loving care. But you will totally be doing that,
and probably more so than you do for us. You'll
(25:02):
be checking them like.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Oh, it's going to be yes. I actually can see
myself being person I think I'm just trying not to
admit it, but I absolutely will probably be that person
that mom, you.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Are also a little FBI investigator and can find any
and everything on the internet, which means your kids want
people to hide anything from me.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
No oh no, no, you will not hide anything from me.
Like you think you know tricks and secrets and how
to get away with something. Nope, I'll catch you.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
You know. And I wanted to talk about to the
I'm scared. Well, no, it's it's kind of back to
what we were talking about. But what has that experience
been because we went on multiple different roads here, But
you had mentioned how Tyler is your first boyfriend and
now like potentially going to be your fiance. But what's
(25:51):
that been like for you? He's your first boyfriend and
you weren't dating before that. Is there like any part
of you that thinks about that and that kind of situation?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yes, I yes, I have thought about it. First of all,
when I was never you know, part of the reasons
I haven't dated was I feel like if I liked
a guy, they wouldn't like me back. So it wasn't
like a choice. Part of it was, but part of
it wasn't. It was just people just didn't like me.
So I always saw something was wrong with me.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Okay, I liked.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
You, well, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
There were I'm ninety nine point nine percent sure even
though I have only known you my adult life that
there were people that liked you. You just probably didn't feel
that back.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
So they never pursued it or they didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah that's possible too.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah, you maybe beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
So I can guarantee that there were people that liked you.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yeah, maybe they just didn't tell me. Okay, so maybe
there have been missed opportunities, which is fine because I'm
happy where I'm at. Yeah, but yeah, no, I've always
felt like, okay, something's wrong with me. If I'm not
nobody likes me, nobody wants to be in a relationship with me.
Something's wrong with me. And I'd have strangers on the
internet tell me something was wrong with me too, So
that didn't help. Yeah, they definitely let me go. They're like,
(27:03):
something's wrong with you, Like, are you you know? Normal?
I was like, no, I'm fine, You're perfectly normal. Yeah,
I'm just not finding someone.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
The timeline was just different.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
My timeline was different, and it was definitely worth the
way of waiting for waiting to find him like he is,
like you said, just to a gem of a human. Yeah,
he's precious.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Well do you feel like, do you still have those
feelings now or did once you met him? Did that
all kind of quiet itself?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
It? Did? It quieted itself? I mean I I you
know me, I struggle with self confidence issues and things
like that. So that stuff has remained, but the whole
it was like it was different. It was I do
feel like I'm worthy enough and you know, good enough
(27:52):
for someone, and so I feel very secure in that.
But within myself, I definitely still have, you know, the
doubts and self confidence issues, all those things.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
You want to talk about that a little bit because
mental health is part of this podcast, yes, and we
talk about those things a lot. So where do you
feel like you're at kind of right now in your
life with your I guess you can say self love journey.
Do you feel like you're on a better path or
do you feel like you're kind of stagnant? Where are
(28:23):
you right now?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I feel like I'm in a good place now. I
think a couple a couple of years ago, i'd had
not I was not in the best place, which was
right around the time. It was right before I started
dating Tyler. But I'll never forget. We were at a dinner,
you know exactly. I know you're gonna remember what it was.
It was a Valentine's Day. It was Valentine's Day dinner.
(28:45):
And at the point at that time, I was still
single and I just turned thirty, and I just was
having so many self doubt issues. And I've dealt with
that my entire life ever, Like, honestly, ever since I
was an elementary school I've dealt with self confidence issues
and I didn't know it at the time. As I've
(29:06):
gotten older, I've learned a lot about anxiety and things
like that, and I know that's you know, what I
was dealing with. But yeah, a couple of years ago,
I remember I was just in not a great place.
I didn't like myself. I've always struggled with weight and
you know how I view myself body, my body issues, Yeah,
body image issues. It's a great way put that. So
(29:28):
at that time, I was really dealing with a lot
of those issues. And I've definitely always struggled with body
image issues and that's always probably been one of my
main things that I've struggled when it comes to myself
and self confidence issues. And yeah, a couple of years ago,
I just I was dealing with with those things, and
(29:48):
I feel like I can talk about like I feel
like it's kind of probably like trigger warning type stuff
for some people, but I definitely do feel like I
had like eating disorder type stuff. I mean, I would
there were times that I would make myself throw up
or I wouldn't eat, like I would starve myself. And
I kind of had dealt with that a little bit
(30:09):
in my early twenties, and I was doing fine, and
then for some reason, a couple of years ago, I
just was having some issues and just not loving myself.
I was turning thirty and I was not at all
where I thought i'd be in my life. And I
think that had a lot to do with it. Was
turning thirty and realizing I'm not married, I don't own
a house, they don't have kids. I'm not at all
(30:30):
where I thought I would be in life. And I
was also making career changes, so everything all at once.
Everything was changing at once, and I was not feeling
good about myself. And so a couple of years ago, yeah,
I just was not, and I was in a very
dark place and just not feeling good about myself. And
we were out that dinner and I don't remember what
(30:51):
was said, something said and I just started bawling my
eyes out at the dinner, and we got up and
went into your jeep, and you and Jodi were there,
and y'all said, we're not leaving until you tell us
what's going on. And I remember I was just crying
so hard I couldn't barely speak, and I was just
so embarrassed because I never I do need to say,
(31:12):
i'd never really admitted to anybody that I did all
of that stuff. And because I was embarrassed and nobody
knew that that had ever happened, that I was doing,
you know, making myself sick, not eating things like that,
nobody knew. And I finally was able to open up
to y'all about that. And I will never forget that
(31:34):
night of just sitting there for I don't even know
how long, just crying and just I don't think many
words were said. It was just y'all being there and
being able to cry to y'all and admit, this is
what's going on in my life. And I have these
bad habits again like I had them before and I
got past it, but it's happening again, and I feel
(31:54):
alone and I feel stuck, and I feel like what
do I do? So I remember being able to talk
to y'all about that that night.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I feel like that was a turning point for you
because I had known you a couple of years before that.
We had been friends for a couple of years at
that point, and I had seen a little bit of
the decline in your mental health just as you were
making the changes with your career and things were just
shifting in your life and it was hard, just as
(32:30):
life changes are, and things happened. But I was watching
it happen and it was one of those things where
and I had said this to you on multiple times,
I was like, hell, we got to go to therapy,
come on, we have to do this, and you just
would kind of look at me like yeah, I know,
I know, and I just kind of sat there waiting.
It was a tough position as a friend because all
I wanted to do was help you, But at the
(32:50):
same time, I knew I couldn't help you until you
wanted to help yourself, you know. I could just keep saying, hey,
let's do this, or hey, you know, I'm here, but
it didn't matter, right, because all you can do is
just physically be there and wait until the timing is
right for that person to make that decision. And I've
you know, people have been there for me at that
(33:12):
point in my life, and I knew that was the
position that I needed to do for you at that time.
So when that did finally happen, I don't know if
you felt like a whole weight off your shoulders, but
I felt this concern that I had for you finally
go away, and it was like you had reached the
point where you were like, I need help and I
don't know what else to do.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, I felt that I felt, just even admitting to y'all,
a weight lifted off my shoulders and it was I
don't know, I'm so bad with all, you know, just
talking about problems like I'm a peacemaker. I'm a nine
on the enneagram. I'm very much a peacemaker, and I
don't like to talk about problems with myself or if
(33:52):
I have a problem with somebody. I'm just not good
about talking about things. I sweep it under the rug.
Don't want to talk about it, don't want to be
a burden. And I think I had just gotten to
a point where I was so low that I needed
to say something and I just like had hit my
breaking point. And I did end up going to therapy
and it helped so much. I was on anxiety medications
(34:15):
and that helped. Yeah. I just I knew I needed
to get my life, you know, back, and I needed
to be happy with myself. I also started going to
church again. That was about the time when I started
when I you know, started eating Tyler and I credit y'all,
and I credit him with, you know, the healing I
(34:35):
guess that I had from that. I started going to
church with him and I needed that. That was first
of all, the main thing I needed. And then going
you know, talking to somebody about how I was feeling.
And I just feel like I I call like a
silent struggle. I was silently struggling for so long and
didn't want to admit anything. And so when I finally did,
(34:58):
there were just people people were able to tell me
how I can kind of help myself, like what I
can do and you know, it's going to be okay.
And I just had kind of silently dealt with it
for so long that it really was a huge weight
lifted off my shoulders.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
So you know, you are that the personality type of
who you are as one hundred percent of peacemaker, definitely,
but more so than that. It's funny I called this
out at the beginning of our friendship because we are
vastly different in our personalities. But it's more so because
I wear my heart on my sleeve, You're gonna hear
everything that's going on in my life. It's going to
be out there. I suck it lyning, So it's just
(35:38):
it's like word vomit all the time, and you're much
more reserved. So we would have a few dinners, especially
at the beginning of our friendship, where I'm like, I
still don't know anything about Hillary, and I feel like
she doesn't want to tell me anything because you just
you kept it all in. You have the person that, oh,
it's okay, like I and you didn't want to, and
I was like, I don't want to push because I
don't want her to be uncomfortable. So I need to
(36:01):
know things about it if we're gonna have a friendship,
you know, and you did as time went on, you
would open up more, but it was still still part
of you. Like I really had to push on you
when I needed to know if you were okay. Yeah,
I had to be like, no, I know you're not,
so tell me, and it's this is a safe space
and get it out right now. And I'm glad though
(36:25):
that you've evolved in who you are, that you've at
least learned that you are allowed to say things and
not feel shame or like repercussions for that type you
had before. Yeah, yeah, like afraid of what was going
to be on the other side of that.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, I felt like people would I don't know, it's
not that I felt people would judge me, but again,
like I felt, I never want to be a problem.
I never want to be a burden for people, and
I felt like I was. And I know that's terrible
to say, because I know y'all don't feel that way,
(37:03):
but that's just how I felt. And I didn't want
people to feel like they had to take their time
and their energy to worry about me, And so I
kind of would just pretend like everything was okay, well.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
And correct me if I'm wrong. But you had had
previous people in your life who had made you feel
that way. Yes, so there was reason for you to
believe that this was going to be everyone.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, it did.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
So why would you trust new people? Why would you
make friends when the only history you've known is these
horrible experiences? Of course, that's who you were for a
long time. And it hurts my heart that it took
so long for you to finally be like it almost
took you cracking to be able to finally be like, no, no, no,
these people aren't leaving. Yeah, and that was how much
(37:50):
hurt and pain and trauma those people inflicted on you
for then you to have years of that finally kind
of melt away and say, Okay, I have to do
this because otherwise I don't know what the other option is. Yeah,
have you ever thought about that? And like that way?
Speaker 1 (38:06):
I really haven't. This is like the first time I'm
really kind of thinking of it this way and kind
of going along with that. I'm thinking back to I
feel like I'm this just goes to show how I
feel so healed in a much better place. I forget
about some of those things that I've gone through, And
because I didn't have the best friendships before, I'm at y'all,
and that definitely didn't help things. And I'd never really
(38:30):
felt like I had a great group of friends who
were there through everything and we're going to be there
through everything until I met y'all. And we just have
such a good core group of friends here. And that
may be why I felt that way, because I just didn't,
you know, I had my family, like me and my
mom are best friends, and I tell her every I
(38:50):
didn't tell her any of this when I was dealing
with it at the time, but in associated with shame
and the embarrassment, I didn't I didn't want her to
know like I was thinking these things and that I
would literally look in the mirror and think, I don't
like anything about myself and I am so unhappy. I'm
not going to eat today because I don't like how
I look. And I didn't want her to know that
(39:14):
she already already worries about me enough like moving away
from home, I don't need to worry her even more.
So That's kind of where my mind was at. And
so I think I just that was probably the person
I could open up to about stuff was and I
just bottled it all in and I didn't. I didn't
want to talk about it, and so I just kind
of kind of hit it. But I think I've dealt
(39:35):
with this through or ever since middle school and high school.
I've dealt with things like this, So.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yeah, you certainly haven't had an easier road and the
conversations we've had, And that was one of the things
you and I connected with heavily on when we first
became friends, was the bullying and the mean girls and
am I ever going to have friends? And what does
that look like? And yeah, it's really hard, and you
are right, I remember very little at this point. I've
(40:04):
blocked a lot out.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I've blocked a lot out.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I had on my teacher, who was the one who
i'd like hide in her class.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That Yes, that was so sweet. I love that you
had her on.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
It was so good. But she would recall things and
I was like, dang, I don't remember that. Yeah, and
it was like I my body. Once I let go
of it and healed from it, I was like, oh,
I put that And like even her and I just
talking after, she's like, we're gonna you really went through
some horrible things. And she would recall these situations and
I'm like, wow, I forgot that. That was pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
It's like when you're healed, you just it's kind of
like you forget. You just feel a piece and so
you're not worrying about those things anymore and they're.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Not trigger anymore. So that's why I think, yeah, they're
still pieces of those that are right, Like, that's what
you're experiencing when this moment happened and you had this
trigger of like, oh gosh, I'm about to do this
and I don't know what the reaction is gonna be.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
This is this is interesting.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, I think you've grown even from that because now
that's not a trigger. Right now, you open up to
us all the time.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
I tell y'all everything. Y'all were like, that's probably a
little too much. No, yeah, I know I can tell y'all,
tell y'all anything. Have I ever told you? I don't
have shared this. I think this is why a lot
of my body issues started about this one teacher we
had in high school. It was well middle school, high school.
So I've always ever since I was young. I remember
(41:29):
I was always the girl who like had boobs, Like
I was just I was curvy, even when I was
like middle school and I always thought that was a
negative thing because all my friends were like stick figures
and looked like models, and I was like, oh, why
don't I look like that? And so curves are great,
by the way, they are beautiful. I've embraced them now.
But I went to a private school and there was
(41:52):
this one lady there still remember his day picturing her
right now. I always felt that I was a target
because I had big boobs, like I couldn't I couldn't
wear tank tops and stuff because I woud get in trouble,
like cammis and stuff underneath, like we had to wear
collar shirts, and so all my friends would wear, you know,
cammis and tank tops under theirs. I wasn't allowed to
(42:15):
do that because if any little cleavage showed, I would
get in trouble. So this is from eighth grade to
senior in high school that I'm being told constantly, pull
your shirt up, button your shirt up. You can't look
like that.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Some time in a girl's life where she's taken everything.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
She's taking, and so I've always thought like my body
is something I should be ashamed of. And I think
that's where a lot of this started. And I'll never
forget my senior year of high school, we were going
to prom and we had to get our dresses approved
before prom, and I'd gotten mine approved by a teacher.
(42:51):
This specific lady did not see my dress beforehand, so
she hadn't approved it. So when I walked into prom,
she sees me, I've really walked in and she immediately
comes up to me. She goes, what are you wearing?
And I was like, excuse me, and she said, did
you get your dress approved? And I said, yeah, I did,
and you know so and so approved it, and she said,
I would have never approved this dress. I cannot believe
(43:13):
you're wearing that. When I tell you it was like
a little sweetheart like neckline. I even had even added straps,
like it was so modest. Anybody knows my mother, No,
she's not gonna let me walk out of the house
of my boobs hanging out, like that's just not gonna happen,
and come from a very you know, modest family. And
I cried. I went in the bathroom and she because
(43:34):
she even said, you know, I won't make you leave
if you can cover up, And I was like, you're
gonna make me leave because of this? And I see
another girl over here who like, she's her dress is
a little bit lower than mine, and you're not saying
anything to her, And I just I had been made
to believe, like my entire middle school high school years,
that the way my body was was wrong. And then
(43:57):
I needed to cover up, and oh my mother was
not happy that, but it was just crazy and so
I was so just like I mean, I was shaking,
I was crying. And the teacher who had approved my dress,
her name was mths Hall. I feel I can give
her shout out because she's amazing. And she found me
in the bathroom and she's like, what's going on? And
I told her and she was so unhappy, and she
was like, you are beautiful. Your dress is beautiful. I
(44:19):
want you to go out there and have a good
time and ignore this. You are beautiful. And it was
just so sweet, sweet to have her, in that moment
be able to say that to me. But I think
that's where a lot of my issues began, was, you know,
constantly being told that the way you look and what
you have is wrong.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Well rightfully so because I was a teacher, that was
somebody in a position of power who made you feel
inadequate in a very vulnerable moment, and so taken aback
when you had done all of the right steps.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Yeah, you know, like this is someone.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Who targeted you, for sure in a way, and that
hurts my heart for you. And I think it's a
testament to you said, her name is Missus Hall. Yes,
And and teachers like mine, Missus Manning, who do step
in when the other ones fail. Yeah, and they show
up and they they make you feel warm and welcome
(45:14):
and loved for who you are. But it's also scary.
It's a scary thing that there's people out there in
the world, especially in the very formative years of kids' lives,
who can set the course, Yeah, in the wrong direction.
Like even though you had this other teacher who came
in and said, do not listen to this, your beautiful, amazing,
(45:34):
that's still planted a seed in your head and it
stayed there and it never went away.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Yeah. I will never forget how that made me feel.
And I still, you know, to this day, feel that way.
When I'm wearing things, I'm like, oh, got to make
sure I'm all covered up, or you know, got to
make sure I'm looking okay, because it's just so ingrained
in my brain. Ye, and I hate you know, it's
so sad, But I think that's where a lot of
my body issues began. Was from that and somebody commenting
(46:03):
on it, and you know, telling me the way I
looked wasn't wasn't right?
Speaker 2 (46:07):
You know. I remember there was a time when you
were trying on dresses for something.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
We were in your room. Oh was it CMA Awards
or was it for like, oh, I can't remember what
it was.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
It might have been CMA Awards, okay, but you were
showing me different dress options, and I remember this being
a conversation where you're like, well, my boobs. I was like,
who cares? They look amazing, And I was sitting there
trying to like hype you up in every direction looked fabulous,
but this was a very and you're like, I can't.
I don't think you ended up wearing that dress ident it.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
For that reason, I got something else that was like
straight across. Because it's just in my brain, because it's
not even that I think it's wrong, it's how now
I see myself and I see, oh, that's not good
or that doesn't look good, or oh you know, I'm fat,
or you know that it honestly just turned into that.
It made me just hate every single piece of my body.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
You know what, I hope on your wedding day you
wear a sweetheart neckline dress.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
You know. I've thought about that, and I think that
it's going to it. I hope it doesn't, but I
think it may affect how I shop for dresses and stuff.
I thought about my wedding day and what I'm gonna wear, and.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
I will be there to shop with you for dresses,
and I am not gonna let you not pick out
the dress.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Yeah, you're gonna be like you're wearing this.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah. It's something.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
I'm about to be thirty two, and it's something that
still affects me to this day. I think of those
moments and think of, you know, the other times people
have commented on my body and you know, said things
about it. I just think about that.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Well, I'm sure there's other women out there listening to
and who feel similar. So like, if you could go
back and tell yourself something in that moment, what would
you have wanted to hear? I besides the fact that
they should have happened, right, Sure, that's coming up.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
This should have happened. Honestly, I would just look at
myself and I would tell myself, you're beautiful. I know
that sounds so cheesy, but I would because I didn't
think I was, and I I would just tell myself,
you're going to be okay, You're going to like look
where I'm at now. At the time, I wanted to
move to Nashville, I wanted to have this job, I
(48:14):
wanted to do all these things, and I was able
to go do it. So I would just tell myself,
you're beautiful and you're going to be okay. Just keep going.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Oh well, that's why I always end everything out of advice,
and that was really pretty advised. So I feel like
that's where we shouldn't know. Thank you, even though I
want to talk to you forever and we have more
to catch up. I guess you'll just have to come
back for a part too.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Yeah, I would love to. I love doing stuff like this.
I've missed it so much, so I will I will come.
I'll come talk to you off mics, but also on
mics anytime.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Yes, do another. Is there anything else you wanted to
bring up before we leave?
Speaker 1 (48:51):
I think we've covered a lot I think I'm good.
I do want to say I'm very happy for you
and where you're at in life, Like I do want
to say that, like you are just killing it and
amazing and and I'm not just saying that because you're,
you know, one of my best friends, but I mean,
just over our friendship, the growth I have seen in
you is just incredible. We sat here and talked about
(49:14):
me this whole time, but you, like, I mean, it's
just been amazing.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Now I'm gonna cry. This was you. You were my guests,
we were talking about you. I do feel like I'm
in a I feel like I am in a you know,
where they say you have to shed old layers and
old experiences to enter a new season.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
I think this was almost a year of a lot
of shedding. Yeah, and next year is about to be
a crazy year. Yeah, is what it feels like, even
though this year was crazy and I like it this
year and it's wild, but.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
It is absolutely crazy. But you survived and you did it,
and I feel you've grown so much and have learned
very hard lessons but you're still standing and you're doing amazing,
and I just I it's like happy Morgan his here
and back and like my beautiful, bright, positive friend and
(50:10):
I just I love that.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Oh well, thank you. You've been a great friend to
me for the entire time that I've known you. So
I'm just glad that you're so happy and in a
very happy phase of your life and you have gotten
to see how amazing you are as you've grown.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
Yeah, I definitely feel it, So I appreciate it, appreciate
you and your friendship.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
And our little love fast needs in because I'm Gona
kryaka fine By. I hope you all enjoyed the girl
chat this week with Hillary and myself was really fun
getting to catch up with her. I really like having
the girl chats on the microphone for you guys all
to hear. If you want to follow her on Instagram
at Hillary dot Borden b O r d in. With
the holidays coming up, I still plan to put out
(50:52):
some new podcast episodes, so make sure you subscribe so
you don't miss them, because one of them might be
coming to you from your TBD. I hope it works
out how I have planned in my brain, and it
may not, but we're gonna try, all right, friends, thanks
for being here. I'll talk to you guys next week,
Love you bye,
Personally Mogan Foldsman.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
If you're a listener of the Bobby Bone Show, then
you're gonna know my guest this week. Her name is
Hillary and she used to be on The Bobby Bone
Show with me. But if you're not a listener, that's
totally cool because she's also one of my really good
friends and we're already get totally caught up on life.
It will be girl chat if you will. We're going
to talk changing careers, her finding her boyfriend, who is
her first one ever, and they're talking about marriage and
(00:40):
of course we have to get into some mental health
stuff too. So without brother Ado, please meet one of
my good friends. MS Hillary. Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hillary, I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm excited to get a talk with you auto microphone.
Not that I haven't talked to you in a long time,
but this is our first official talk on a microphone
since you left the show.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, it's been almost three years. I was thinking about
that today. I was like, this is the first time
I've been behind a microphone in almost three years. And
the last time i was was probably the last best
Bits episode I recorded with you. Yeah, probably the last time.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
It definitely would have been. Yeah, especially like a conversation
between you and I. Yes, yeah, wow, A lot of
life has happened since then. I know you want to
like give it a catch up. Okay, well this whole
thing is catching up. You want to share, like, Okay,
you left the show?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
What'd you do? What? Like life events? What went down?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yes, no drama or anything. I think people were probably like,
why did you leave? Like did something happen? But nothing happened.
I feel like it was kind of a I was
turning thirty and I had my entire twenties, I'd been
in RADI almost ten years had been radio, and I
just had really thought I really want to try something
(02:04):
new going into my thirties, and I just kind of
had that I don't know, like a pool. There was
just something telling me like, go try something, go do something.
And so it was a very scary decision because radio.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Is my comfort.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
That's all I know is radio. So I ended up, yeah,
leaving and found a job at a record label. I'm
a project manager now. And yeah, it's that was I
think April will be three years ago, which is crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
And how do you feel in this new job? Like
are you happy? You're still in the industry.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yes, I'm happy I'm still in the industry. I do
miss radio, Like there will be times where I'll see
stuff on socials I'm like, dang, I do miss the
show and I miss everyone there. Obviously we still talk
all the time, so it's like nothing's changed between me
and you. But yeah, I do miss radio. There's so
many times where I'll see videos, not even just the show,
(02:59):
but other radio people, my friends in radio, and I
see them doing stuff. I'm like, dang, I miss it
so much. So yeah, I do miss radio.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Do you think there's a world in which you go
back for the right situation.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Maybe I'm keeping my options opened, like if the right opportunity.
I feel that way about anything, even if it was
something non music industry related. Honestly, anything I have learned
just to keep my options open, and who knows what
could happen.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Do you think like getting out of the music industry entirely, though,
would make you sad because you do really love music.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I think so, yeah, it would make me sad. I've
thought about it before. I'm like, Okay, what if I
tried something completely different, because I do want to just
try new things, And that was the part of me
leaving was just to try something new and learn something
about myself and grow my skills in other areas. So
I think if it was the right opportunity and it
(03:55):
was something I think I would enjoy, then I would.
I can't see myself going and being like accountant or anything,
or you know, going back to school to be a lawyer. Yeah,
absolutely not. I'm not going back to school. That's a
for sure not happening. But yeah, I think it would
have to be something marketing, fun, something in that realm.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
What about always in Nashville? I know, yes, as long
as I've known you, you've missed Florida, which is your
home state.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, I am from Florida. I do miss Florida, but
I love Nashville so much that I can't see myself leaving.
I'm working on getting my family here.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
That's getting them to move here.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Where where we're at right now is I don't want
to leave, so you need to come up here? And
how are we working on that?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You know? I they were just here and they came
to visit, so I take them to you know, pretty places,
like isn't it so nice being out?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
There's mountains right there in trees, not that they don't
have trees in Florida, but it's just it's a different
everything different. It's a different vibe here in Tennessee. And
I think my family would like it here. I keep
I just keep telling them, you're gonna love it here.
It's great. It's very calm and peaceful. I'm happy and
(05:14):
I'm here, so you should come and you're here. That's
all the Yeah, and they need that's the only reason,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I have tried on multiple friends and family to get
them to move to Nashville, and I have been unsuccessful
on every single one.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah, it's hard. Me and you are both trying, I know,
and it hasn't worked. No, Okay, but not just career wise.
So a lot has changed just in your life in general.
You've had a boyfriend for a long time. Yes, When
is it into February early March? Will be two years,
which is so crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay. Do you want to share how you guys met,
because that's as wild.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yes, we did meet at work. We set three seats
down for each other. We worked together for an entire
year before we started dating. We started hanging out more
and to see. What happened was he invited me to church.
I had been talking to him at work and I
just mentioned I didn't really know he went to church,
and I said that I was looking for a church home,
(06:11):
and he said, why don't you come to my church?
So I ended up going the first service I went to.
It was like a special anniversary that they were having,
and it was at the rhymen and Carrie Underwood showed up.
So I'm like, well, this was a great first church
service to go to. So but then I ended up
going to like the actual services and really loved it.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
So I started going here at them show up some more.
Just the one time she she.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Goes to church there?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Okay, yeah, and she.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Recently saying there a few months ago, and I've been
seeing it on social media. It's so interesting to see
your church just like on news sites and stuff. I'm like, oh,
this is interesting. But yeah, it's the same church she goes.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Too, which is kind of kids Matt in Away, because
you love Carrie Underwood.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Love Carrie Underwood.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
She might be one of your top three.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yes, she is definitely in my top three?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Is she your top one? Though? I've like Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It's between her and Taylor Swift. Probably such a hard one,
but probably Taylor. If you go look at my whatever
you call it wrapped or whatever, that is, Taylor's my top. Well.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
You also haven't had any carry Underwood parties. You've only
had Kaylu and Taylor Switch parties. Not just one, but
a few.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh a few. Yeah, get excited about these album releases
you do. Yeah, now that in my job, I have
to plan actual album release parties. So I feel like
I'm so into doing them for work that in my
own personal life, I'm like, I don't need another another
party to plan.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
So when you did the first album release party where
you like, oh, I can do this, I've I've been
doing these personally forever, and then you're like, oh this
it becomes when it's part of your job where this
isn't fun anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like, oh, this was fun whatever, you know,
when you're doing it personally. But then you're just like,
I can't do this, I can't plan it, I can't
plan anything else. Yeah, I put all my focus into
planning my my work parties.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yes. Yeah, So back to the boyfriend's situation, because when
you were on the show, you were single and you
had shared the hardships of dating. Yes, much like me.
Which is funny that you when you left the show
and you got a new job and you met this
boyfriend in the new job. Have you ever thought about that?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I actually have. It feels like such a god
thing of Okay, maybe this is why I left because
if I wouldn't have left, we would have never met
each other. And I do feel like he's the one.
I do think we're gonna get married. We've talked about it,
We've been ring shopping, We've done all the things. So
definitely feel that way about him. And it's crazy that
if I would have stayed, I would have never met him.
(08:37):
There's just we wouldn't have crossed paths. So definitely the
kindest guy ever.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Genuinely, I don't think I've met a more kind human being.
He's just always smiling, always happy, always willing to help.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yes, he is. Like he is the happiest person I
have ever met in my life and the kindest I know.
He would do anything for anyone. And he's so sweet
about my friend too, Like he always asks about y'all
and like random stuff. Yes, he watches y'all. Stories like
your things, very supportive, but he'll always ask randomly. We'll
(09:10):
just be sitting there, how's Morgan. HIL's been doing? Like
she's good, same.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Same, same updates.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, she's doing good. But yeah, he always asks about
y'all and wants to know what's going on with y'all.
And just having somebody who actually cares not just about me,
but my friends and my family. Is that just I
don't know. That says so much to me about somebody's character.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I know, and everybody collectively is super happy for you
because they got to follow a piece of your story
and now you're in this gray relationship. So that's exciting. Yeah,
and I knew about the ring shopping and stuff, But
is there more to that that I don't know about yet?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
No, because I don't think there's anything I know, Like, like,
I think something's coming. God, I don't think I've really
said that out loud, but I think something's Okay, he'll
get a text.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I mean, I'm sure it won't be coming at some point.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I better get a text, Oh fatime to see the Yeah,
I'm so sorry you're getting a FaceTime not a text.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
I mean, if it's here, I better also be there.
But yeah, you have a feeling it may not.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Be I think. I think maybe over the holidays.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Okay, I have my feeling he's going to do it
around your family because your family is so important to you.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, we're going to be near his family and my family,
so there will be two opportunities.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, but if I know him and I know you,
I think he will do it around your family. And
maybe he like flies out his family to be there too.
But I just imagine he's going to do it around
your family.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I think so too. Me and you're on the same
way of length. Like I, I'm even nervous to say
this because if he knows that I have a suspicion,
he may change his plans.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
But you don't have to say it if you like,
I think.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
It may happen. I need to make sure my nails
aren't painted right now, but I'm going to make sure
I'm going home tonight to paint my nails, and they're
gonna be painted just for the foreseeable future, because you
never know when it could happen.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
This is true, So you can't have a plane nail
for the next month at least.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I'm like hiding them right now because I'm embarrassed now.
But yeah, we need to go paint nails. I picked
out the color last night. I was like, this looks
like a nice color if I were to get engaged,
this is the color I want to be wearing.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
What is the kind of ring you want that you've
been telling him that you want?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Oh, it's picked out, Like I know, I've always kind
of known what I wanted. I really want an oval,
an oval ring with are they called? What are they called?
I can't think of the Oh, Marquee. It's a Marquee
diamond like on its side as the band. It's like
the band would be like Marquee diamonds and then an
(11:44):
oval in the middle. But I told him silver gold.
I said, this is what I like. But if you
feel inspired by something else or there's you know, you
do you you know what I want, just go with
it and do whatever. I'll be happy with anything.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I don't care. Okay, but will you actually be happy
with anything because you've had this one picked out for
so long?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I would? I know I say that hesitantly, but I
would because I mean I honestly, at the end of
the day, I just want to marry him. Yeah, but
he is the type of person he's not gonna he's
not gonna stray like he If.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
He does, it'll be similar or something better. I feel like, yes, yeah,
And maybe that's why you're not as nervous to say, like,
do what you want?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, because he has my guidance I made. So It's
funny is I made a note section in my phone
of what I liked, and it has all the details
and everything, and I sent it, I think it was
to my mom. And one day me and him were talking.
This is before me and him actually went ring shopping.
I had an idea of what I wanted and I
(12:43):
had sent it to my mom and I was talking
to him and he said, I know nothing about rings.
What do you even want? I said, Oh, I have
a whole note section. I shared it with my mom.
He goes, why wouldn't you share it with me? I'm
the person who's picking it out, Like, I think, I
need to.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Know you know what you want. So I went to
her and said, of saying anything to.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
You, that's what I thought was gonna happen. I said,
I thought you had went to my mom, not to me.
I don't know I've never done this before, so I
don't know what I'm supposed.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
To do different. Some guys go to the friends, sometimes
the guys out of the family. Sometimes they tell nobody,
sometimes they ask the woman. It's like it depends on
the partner that you have.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, Like, what are you supposed to do in these situations?
There's no rule book.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Have you always been because this is what's so funny
about me at this point in my life. But I
feel like you've stayed consistent in this. Like I had
a Pinterest board growing up of everything I wanted at
my wedding, the house that I wanted, and the different
clothes I wanted to wear as I got older, Like
all these different boards of inspiration of ways that I
had panned for like one of my life to turn out.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, none of it.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I don't think I stayed consistent. I don't think of that.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I actually have the same for myself.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Okay, but you were more consistent than I am in that.
I feel like you've kind of always had this feeling
of like this is what I want. So have your
things matched up with your Pinterest boards?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yes? And no. I feel like I've definitely changed. So
I also think I need to mention too. This is
my first boyfriend, like I never had a boyfriend before him,
and we started eating when I was thirty. So I
think as I started getting later in my twenties, I
thought I may actually never get married and I need
to accept this. So I think in my mind I
was starting to accept that the dreams I had for myself,
(14:32):
like the house, the wedding, everything may not happen. So
things have kind of changed since then. But I do
think what I would want now is very different than
what I would have wanted in my twenties. I think
as I've gotten to be an adult, I realized how
expensive things are.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
A weddingess usual.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
And I don't know if you've ever googled what is
the average cost of a wedding in Tennessee, But it's
quite a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I would imagine somewhere in the fifty thousand range. It's
not higher.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
It's probably like a higher thirties forties, okay, which I
am just I am not about I that is a
down payment on a house.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's also a down payment on a car. It's actually
might be a whole vehicle.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
It's a whole vehicle. Would you rather have a car
or wedding. That's one day. This has been a whole
conversation me and him have had about weddings and things
like that. It's turned into a whole thing of obviously
I want something nice, you know, where my friends are
gonna be in family, but I can't stomach paying that
(15:32):
price and it yeah, it's just not I Also it's
opened up another whole nother conversation. I have thought about
this so much. Why is it always like automatically assumed
the bride's family is supposed to pay for a wedding.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Like it's the old school traditions I think rooted in
the fact that the husband spends the rest of his
life providing and taking care.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Of Yes, I googled it is that what it is?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
That is? He's my best.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Guess that is so old fashioned. I'm so sorry, But
there's there are women out there who make him more
than a man. Now. Yeah, and it'e I'm about to
open up a can of worms. People a gonna be
mad at me, but no.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But I mean you you still have people who what
the traditional and I think that's great if that's what
you want. And I think you have a lot of
people who don't. So it is interesting that, like one
of the most old school traditional things is something that
we don't ever like talk about. We just assume it's
still going to happen, even though everything else has changed.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I've never heard anybody talk about this before, and it
really baffles me that nobody talks about this. And I
got talked to my parents and I'm like, I can't
ask you for forty thousand dollars to pay for a
wedding for me. I just can't imagine. Y'all have been
so gracious my entire life, and I just can't. I
can't do that. And you come from a you're like
(16:50):
my family, three girls in my family, four in your family,
your dad and girls, your dad and my dad right
now are probably applauding us, like yes, yes, why are
recent honest on me? But I just don't understand, Like
why is it why why is it still automatically assumed
that a bride's family is paying for a wedding.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
You know what's funny is like my parents are towards
the point of thinking of retirement and where that's at
in their lives and when they're gonna do it and whatever,
and one of their conversations is like, well Morgan isn't
married yet, and they're like, well, we need to make
sure we have like this. And I overheard this conversation.
I was like, stop right there. I do not care
(17:30):
what your plans are for retirement. Do whatever you guys
want to do, but you are not basing this off
of pain for a wedding for me. Yes, like you have.
Guys have done so wonderful providing for me my entire life.
And I appreciate that you guys want to do that
and if you want to do certain things around that gray,
but you're not paying for an entire wedding. Also, I'm
probably going to get married on a mountain somewhere and
(17:50):
you won't have to worry about it.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I love it. I love that. That sounds like my
dream wedding too. I feel the same way, like you've
provided so much for me, and my mom's like, you know,
we're gonna want to, you know, pay some of it,
and I said, but I can't let you pay for
all of it. You know, I'm an adult making money.
I just feel like, you know, it's a couple we
can we can pay for. It's our wedding. So yeah,
I feel the same way.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
How does uh Tyler, which is your boyfriend. Yeah, you've
posted about it.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I can say, yeah, we're good, We're not super fine.
You can call him out.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
How does he feel in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
He I think at first, because he's never thought about
it either, nobody's thought about it, because again it's automatically
assumed that a bride's family just pays for it. So
he's never thought about it. Yeah, and once I explained it,
he was like, oh okay, and he gets it. And
he also understands It's funny because when we first had
this conversation, he was, I want to have a huge wedding.
(18:48):
We're inviting everybody, even the mailman, Like, we're inviting everyone, Like,
I want everybody there.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
This's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
And once we really talked about it financially, of this
is a lot of money. Do you want to buy
a house? We have future we need a plan for Yeah,
we might need a SkELL Is back. So he absolutely
gets it now and he's on board. And I like
you to mention your parents wanting to retire. I want
my parents to retire. I don't want them to have
(19:13):
to spend more money on me. They've already you know,
so kind, they paid for my college, They've paid for
so much in my life that they don't need to
pay this.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah. And I don't think you and I are alone
in that feeling. I think a lot of yeah, especially
as we get older, because I do think this is
also changing with the shift of getting married older. I
think when you get married younger, you don't have the money,
you don't have the funds, you haven't been working in
a career long right to have this idea of what
how money moves and forms and how it transpires and
(19:48):
wasting thirty thousand dollars on a wedding.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
But the older you get, you're like, oh, you know,
maybe not, or I don't want to do this, and
you just have different views and perspectives. Yep, And still
some I also think is all so when families want
to if there's families out there who they are like, no,
this is we want to do this.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Part of it cool, sure, business, but just.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Even the idea of a big wedding in general. Now,
I'm like, I don't think I want to.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
I don't I don't want a big wedding. I'm like
I've even debated which I want them, but like bridesmaids
and stuff, because I don't want y'all to have to
pay for anything either. So I'm very much I'm very
money conscious, and I've even thought of I've seen people
doing airbnb weddings, which is a little cheaper as well.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Where you get married, stay there all the things.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, like the whole family can come stay, and I
want it to be I'm not a big party person,
Like I don't dance, I don't do any of that,
you know me, And I I want it to be
like an experience, like if we could all go stay
in a cabin somewhere for a couple of days and
like make it fun and make it like kind of
like a vacation. Yeah, an experience of some sort. So
(20:55):
that's kind of where my head is, which I need
a ring before I can actually play anything. That's okay,
But this is how my brain works. I just like
I spiral, I think of everything.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
But this is the variation of pinterest board now right
where you're actually picturing what is possible in what you
think is the actual reality of life. Yes, you know,
not just that. Oh, these are the dream goals and
you're picking things that are the things that I would
pin on my pinders board were probably twenty thousand dollars,
(21:25):
you know what I mean, like exact crazy things that
I would put.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Had no idea what you were doing.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
No, even though I go back and look at them
and I'm like, what was that?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Even? What was I thinking I had? I don't know
if you had to do this in home med class,
but we had to do a whole Like do you
know what home meck is? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Ours, I think ours was called homeck too. Okay, that
was but that was like our food sewing.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, yeah, you do all like the the things. Yeah,
like you learned how to cook and like we sewed
pillowcases and things like that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I made a quilt in that class. Oh that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
We did not do that. We just did the whole pillowcases,
just a little one.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It was not anything fancy.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
That might have been the advanced run. I think I
might have continued in the advance. But what's crazy is
I don't have any of those skills.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Oh, I have none of them. Like it's very pitiful.
I didn't learn much in HOMEGG. It was not when
it happened, I don't even know if I did. No,
I don't think I did.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Did you have to carry around the baby? No, you
know we did.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
We had to carry on eggs like we had. We
had like you go buy a carton of eggs and
you had to carry them around like in a little basket,
the whole carton. No, like you could pick how many
you wanted, like if you wanted two kids, there were
your kids got it?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
And I remem where they were just were like little
white bere eggs.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah, they were just like, oh I put a face
on them, so like you made them look like you know,
you may have a face.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
It is a literal, like little literal because they are
an egg.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, and you would be graded on if you came
back and they had a crack or a scratch or anything.
You were graded on that, which kind of honestly is
a little smart because if you you know, if there's
a crack in your egg, then clearly you did not
do a great job. So we were all walking around
with our little baskets like don't come near us, don't
crack our little eggs, and we'd have to put them
(23:12):
on our desks.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
How long did you have to care for the eggs.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Oh, I don't even remember. It was probably a few weeks.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Maybe that's insane though, because listen, I get it, like
kids are fragile. Yeah, but eggs, eggs like crack out
a touch. I know you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I know that's what we were in charge of.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Though. Oh that's funny.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yeah, I think mine survived. If I remember, you also
naturally have motherly instincts. That's always been a part of you.
Like even in our friendship, you just have natural mother instincts.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
I think so too. I like, I just care, like
I'm the one who I like to check in on everybody,
make sure everybody's doing okay.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Oh, and you're totally gonna be a helicopter mom.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Oh you think so? Oh that scares me.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You know why, because you already like you already like
to watch us, like where we're going, and you're like, oh,
there you are, So.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
You're totally gonna be doing that time my friend.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yes, I know, I admitted.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I admitted to everyone that because I follow, we all
follow each other. I'm like, there will be just some
nights and like this gonnake sounds so creepy, but I'll
just be laying in bed, Like, I just want to
make sure everybody's okay, and so I check my little
app I'm like, okay, Morgan's at her house, Doty's at hers,
Gillian's here, Morgan's other, Morgan's my neighbor, so I know
she's like right next door to me. So I just
like to make sure everybody's in their house and everybody's safe.
(24:29):
I don't do that often, it's just occasionally if I'm
thinking about y'all, I like to make sure you're good.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
You do and it's a great quality trait. But you're
totally gonna be doing that with your kids.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I hope I'm a cool mom. I don't want to
be a helicopter mom.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I think you'll also be a cool mom, but you
will be a helicopter mom. I think that's just part
of your care. Yeah, you know, I care because Karen
can also come off as overbearing to a teenage kid,
you know what I mean, So like it will be
out of loving care. But you will totally be doing that,
and probably more so than you do for us. You'll
(25:02):
be checking them like.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Oh, it's going to be yes. I actually can see
myself being person I think I'm just trying not to
admit it, but I absolutely will probably be that person
that mom, you.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Are also a little FBI investigator and can find any
and everything on the internet, which means your kids want
people to hide anything from me.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
No oh no, no, you will not hide anything from me.
Like you think you know tricks and secrets and how
to get away with something. Nope, I'll catch you.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
You know. And I wanted to talk about to the
I'm scared. Well, no, it's it's kind of back to
what we were talking about. But what has that experience
been because we went on multiple different roads here, But
you had mentioned how Tyler is your first boyfriend and
now like potentially going to be your fiance. But what's
(25:51):
that been like for you? He's your first boyfriend and
you weren't dating before that. Is there like any part
of you that thinks about that and that kind of situation?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yes, I yes, I have thought about it. First of all,
when I was never you know, part of the reasons
I haven't dated was I feel like if I liked
a guy, they wouldn't like me back. So it wasn't
like a choice. Part of it was, but part of
it wasn't. It was just people just didn't like me.
So I always saw something was wrong with me.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Okay, I liked.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
You, well, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
There were I'm ninety nine point nine percent sure even
though I have only known you my adult life that
there were people that liked you. You just probably didn't feel
that back.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
So they never pursued it or they didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah that's possible too.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah, you maybe beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
So I can guarantee that there were people that liked you.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yeah, maybe they just didn't tell me. Okay, so maybe
there have been missed opportunities, which is fine because I'm
happy where I'm at. Yeah, but yeah, no, I've always
felt like, okay, something's wrong with me. If I'm not
nobody likes me, nobody wants to be in a relationship with me.
Something's wrong with me. And I'd have strangers on the
internet tell me something was wrong with me too, So
that didn't help. Yeah, they definitely let me go. They're like,
(27:03):
something's wrong with you, Like, are you you know? Normal?
I was like, no, I'm fine, You're perfectly normal. Yeah,
I'm just not finding someone.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
The timeline was just different.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
My timeline was different, and it was definitely worth the
way of waiting for waiting to find him like he is,
like you said, just to a gem of a human. Yeah,
he's precious.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Well do you feel like, do you still have those
feelings now or did once you met him? Did that
all kind of quiet itself?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
It? Did? It quieted itself? I mean I I you
know me, I struggle with self confidence issues and things
like that. So that stuff has remained, but the whole
it was like it was different. It was I do
feel like I'm worthy enough and you know, good enough
(27:52):
for someone, and so I feel very secure in that.
But within myself, I definitely still have, you know, the
doubts and self confidence issues, all those things.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
You want to talk about that a little bit because
mental health is part of this podcast, yes, and we
talk about those things a lot. So where do you
feel like you're at kind of right now in your
life with your I guess you can say self love journey.
Do you feel like you're on a better path or
do you feel like you're kind of stagnant? Where are
(28:23):
you right now?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I feel like I'm in a good place now. I
think a couple a couple of years ago, i'd had
not I was not in the best place, which was
right around the time. It was right before I started
dating Tyler. But I'll never forget. We were at a dinner,
you know exactly. I know you're gonna remember what it was.
It was a Valentine's Day. It was Valentine's Day dinner.
(28:45):
And at the point at that time, I was still
single and I just turned thirty, and I just was
having so many self doubt issues. And I've dealt with
that my entire life ever, Like, honestly, ever since I
was an elementary school I've dealt with self confidence issues
and I didn't know it at the time. As I've
(29:06):
gotten older, I've learned a lot about anxiety and things
like that, and I know that's you know, what I
was dealing with. But yeah, a couple of years ago,
I remember I was just in not a great place.
I didn't like myself. I've always struggled with weight and
you know how I view myself body, my body issues, Yeah,
body image issues. It's a great way put that. So
(29:28):
at that time, I was really dealing with a lot
of those issues. And I've definitely always struggled with body
image issues and that's always probably been one of my
main things that I've struggled when it comes to myself
and self confidence issues. And yeah, a couple of years ago,
I just I was dealing with with those things, and
(29:48):
I feel like I can talk about like I feel
like it's kind of probably like trigger warning type stuff
for some people, but I definitely do feel like I
had like eating disorder type stuff. I mean, I would
there were times that I would make myself throw up
or I wouldn't eat, like I would starve myself. And
I kind of had dealt with that a little bit
(30:09):
in my early twenties, and I was doing fine, and
then for some reason, a couple of years ago, I
just was having some issues and just not loving myself.
I was turning thirty and I was not at all
where I thought i'd be in my life. And I
think that had a lot to do with it. Was
turning thirty and realizing I'm not married, I don't own
a house, they don't have kids. I'm not at all
(30:30):
where I thought I would be in life. And I
was also making career changes, so everything all at once.
Everything was changing at once, and I was not feeling
good about myself. And so a couple of years ago, yeah,
I just was not, and I was in a very
dark place and just not feeling good about myself. And
we were out that dinner and I don't remember what
(30:51):
was said, something said and I just started bawling my
eyes out at the dinner, and we got up and
went into your jeep, and you and Jodi were there,
and y'all said, we're not leaving until you tell us
what's going on. And I remember I was just crying
so hard I couldn't barely speak, and I was just
so embarrassed because I never I do need to say,
(31:12):
i'd never really admitted to anybody that I did all
of that stuff. And because I was embarrassed and nobody
knew that that had ever happened, that I was doing,
you know, making myself sick, not eating things like that,
nobody knew. And I finally was able to open up
to y'all about that. And I will never forget that
(31:34):
night of just sitting there for I don't even know
how long, just crying and just I don't think many
words were said. It was just y'all being there and
being able to cry to y'all and admit, this is
what's going on in my life. And I have these
bad habits again like I had them before and I
got past it, but it's happening again, and I feel
(31:54):
alone and I feel stuck, and I feel like what
do I do? So I remember being able to talk
to y'all about that that night.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I feel like that was a turning point for you
because I had known you a couple of years before that.
We had been friends for a couple of years at
that point, and I had seen a little bit of
the decline in your mental health just as you were
making the changes with your career and things were just
shifting in your life and it was hard, just as
(32:30):
life changes are, and things happened. But I was watching
it happen and it was one of those things where
and I had said this to you on multiple times,
I was like, hell, we got to go to therapy,
come on, we have to do this, and you just
would kind of look at me like yeah, I know,
I know, and I just kind of sat there waiting.
It was a tough position as a friend because all
I wanted to do was help you, But at the
(32:50):
same time, I knew I couldn't help you until you
wanted to help yourself, you know. I could just keep saying, hey,
let's do this, or hey, you know, I'm here, but
it didn't matter, right, because all you can do is
just physically be there and wait until the timing is
right for that person to make that decision. And I've
you know, people have been there for me at that
(33:12):
point in my life, and I knew that was the
position that I needed to do for you at that time.
So when that did finally happen, I don't know if
you felt like a whole weight off your shoulders, but
I felt this concern that I had for you finally
go away, and it was like you had reached the
point where you were like, I need help and I
don't know what else to do.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, I felt that I felt, just even admitting to y'all,
a weight lifted off my shoulders and it was I
don't know, I'm so bad with all, you know, just
talking about problems like I'm a peacemaker. I'm a nine
on the enneagram. I'm very much a peacemaker, and I
don't like to talk about problems with myself or if
(33:52):
I have a problem with somebody. I'm just not good
about talking about things. I sweep it under the rug.
Don't want to talk about it, don't want to be
a burden. And I think I had just gotten to
a point where I was so low that I needed
to say something and I just like had hit my
breaking point. And I did end up going to therapy
and it helped so much. I was on anxiety medications
(34:15):
and that helped. Yeah. I just I knew I needed
to get my life, you know, back, and I needed
to be happy with myself. I also started going to
church again. That was about the time when I started
when I you know, started eating Tyler and I credit y'all,
and I credit him with, you know, the healing I
(34:35):
guess that I had from that. I started going to
church with him and I needed that. That was first
of all, the main thing I needed. And then going
you know, talking to somebody about how I was feeling.
And I just feel like I I call like a
silent struggle. I was silently struggling for so long and
didn't want to admit anything. And so when I finally did,
(34:58):
there were just people people were able to tell me
how I can kind of help myself, like what I
can do and you know, it's going to be okay.
And I just had kind of silently dealt with it
for so long that it really was a huge weight
lifted off my shoulders.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
So you know, you are that the personality type of
who you are as one hundred percent of peacemaker, definitely,
but more so than that. It's funny I called this
out at the beginning of our friendship because we are
vastly different in our personalities. But it's more so because
I wear my heart on my sleeve, You're gonna hear
everything that's going on in my life. It's going to
be out there. I suck it lyning, So it's just
(35:38):
it's like word vomit all the time, and you're much
more reserved. So we would have a few dinners, especially
at the beginning of our friendship, where I'm like, I
still don't know anything about Hillary, and I feel like
she doesn't want to tell me anything because you just
you kept it all in. You have the person that, oh,
it's okay, like I and you didn't want to, and
I was like, I don't want to push because I
don't want her to be uncomfortable. So I need to
(36:01):
know things about it if we're gonna have a friendship,
you know, and you did as time went on, you
would open up more, but it was still still part
of you. Like I really had to push on you
when I needed to know if you were okay. Yeah,
I had to be like, no, I know you're not,
so tell me, and it's this is a safe space
and get it out right now. And I'm glad though
(36:25):
that you've evolved in who you are, that you've at
least learned that you are allowed to say things and
not feel shame or like repercussions for that type you
had before. Yeah, yeah, like afraid of what was going
to be on the other side of that.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, I felt like people would I don't know, it's
not that I felt people would judge me, but again,
like I felt, I never want to be a problem.
I never want to be a burden for people, and
I felt like I was. And I know that's terrible
to say, because I know y'all don't feel that way,
(37:03):
but that's just how I felt. And I didn't want
people to feel like they had to take their time
and their energy to worry about me, And so I
kind of would just pretend like everything was okay, well.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
And correct me if I'm wrong. But you had had
previous people in your life who had made you feel
that way. Yes, so there was reason for you to
believe that this was going to be everyone.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, it did.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
So why would you trust new people? Why would you
make friends when the only history you've known is these
horrible experiences? Of course, that's who you were for a
long time. And it hurts my heart that it took
so long for you to finally be like it almost
took you cracking to be able to finally be like, no, no, no,
these people aren't leaving. Yeah, and that was how much
(37:50):
hurt and pain and trauma those people inflicted on you
for then you to have years of that finally kind
of melt away and say, Okay, I have to do
this because otherwise I don't know what the other option is. Yeah,
have you ever thought about that? And like that way?
Speaker 1 (38:06):
I really haven't. This is like the first time I'm
really kind of thinking of it this way and kind
of going along with that. I'm thinking back to I
feel like I'm this just goes to show how I
feel so healed in a much better place. I forget
about some of those things that I've gone through, And
because I didn't have the best friendships before, I'm at y'all,
and that definitely didn't help things. And I'd never really
(38:30):
felt like I had a great group of friends who
were there through everything and we're going to be there
through everything until I met y'all. And we just have
such a good core group of friends here. And that
may be why I felt that way, because I just didn't,
you know, I had my family, like me and my
mom are best friends, and I tell her every I
(38:50):
didn't tell her any of this when I was dealing
with it at the time, but in associated with shame
and the embarrassment, I didn't I didn't want her to
know like I was thinking these things and that I
would literally look in the mirror and think, I don't
like anything about myself and I am so unhappy. I'm
not going to eat today because I don't like how
I look. And I didn't want her to know that
(39:14):
she already already worries about me enough like moving away
from home, I don't need to worry her even more.
So That's kind of where my mind was at. And
so I think I just that was probably the person
I could open up to about stuff was and I
just bottled it all in and I didn't. I didn't
want to talk about it, and so I just kind
of kind of hit it. But I think I've dealt
(39:35):
with this through or ever since middle school and high school.
I've dealt with things like this, So.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yeah, you certainly haven't had an easier road and the
conversations we've had, And that was one of the things
you and I connected with heavily on when we first
became friends, was the bullying and the mean girls and
am I ever going to have friends? And what does
that look like? And yeah, it's really hard, and you
are right, I remember very little at this point. I've
(40:04):
blocked a lot out.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I've blocked a lot out.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I had on my teacher, who was the one who
i'd like hide in her class.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That Yes, that was so sweet. I love that you
had her on.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
It was so good. But she would recall things and
I was like, dang, I don't remember that. Yeah, and
it was like I my body. Once I let go
of it and healed from it, I was like, oh,
I put that And like even her and I just
talking after, she's like, we're gonna you really went through
some horrible things. And she would recall these situations and
I'm like, wow, I forgot that. That was pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
It's like when you're healed, you just it's kind of
like you forget. You just feel a piece and so
you're not worrying about those things anymore and they're.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Not trigger anymore. So that's why I think, yeah, they're
still pieces of those that are right, Like, that's what
you're experiencing when this moment happened and you had this
trigger of like, oh gosh, I'm about to do this
and I don't know what the reaction is gonna be.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
This is this is interesting.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, I think you've grown even from that because now
that's not a trigger. Right now, you open up to
us all the time.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
I tell y'all everything. Y'all were like, that's probably a
little too much. No, yeah, I know I can tell y'all,
tell y'all anything. Have I ever told you? I don't
have shared this. I think this is why a lot
of my body issues started about this one teacher we
had in high school. It was well middle school, high school.
So I've always ever since I was young. I remember
(41:29):
I was always the girl who like had boobs, Like
I was just I was curvy, even when I was
like middle school and I always thought that was a
negative thing because all my friends were like stick figures
and looked like models, and I was like, oh, why
don't I look like that? And so curves are great,
by the way, they are beautiful. I've embraced them now.
But I went to a private school and there was
(41:52):
this one lady there still remember his day picturing her
right now. I always felt that I was a target
because I had big boobs, like I couldn't I couldn't
wear tank tops and stuff because I woud get in trouble,
like cammis and stuff underneath, like we had to wear
collar shirts, and so all my friends would wear, you know,
cammis and tank tops under theirs. I wasn't allowed to
(42:15):
do that because if any little cleavage showed, I would
get in trouble. So this is from eighth grade to
senior in high school that I'm being told constantly, pull
your shirt up, button your shirt up. You can't look
like that.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Some time in a girl's life where she's taken everything.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
She's taking, and so I've always thought like my body
is something I should be ashamed of. And I think
that's where a lot of this started. And I'll never
forget my senior year of high school, we were going
to prom and we had to get our dresses approved
before prom, and I'd gotten mine approved by a teacher.
(42:51):
This specific lady did not see my dress beforehand, so
she hadn't approved it. So when I walked into prom,
she sees me, I've really walked in and she immediately
comes up to me. She goes, what are you wearing?
And I was like, excuse me, and she said, did
you get your dress approved? And I said, yeah, I did,
and you know so and so approved it, and she said,
I would have never approved this dress. I cannot believe
(43:13):
you're wearing that. When I tell you it was like
a little sweetheart like neckline. I even had even added straps,
like it was so modest. Anybody knows my mother, No,
she's not gonna let me walk out of the house
of my boobs hanging out, like that's just not gonna happen,
and come from a very you know, modest family. And
I cried. I went in the bathroom and she because
(43:34):
she even said, you know, I won't make you leave
if you can cover up, And I was like, you're
gonna make me leave because of this? And I see
another girl over here who like, she's her dress is
a little bit lower than mine, and you're not saying
anything to her, And I just I had been made
to believe, like my entire middle school high school years,
that the way my body was was wrong. And then
(43:57):
I needed to cover up, and oh my mother was
not happy that, but it was just crazy and so
I was so just like I mean, I was shaking,
I was crying. And the teacher who had approved my dress,
her name was mths Hall. I feel I can give
her shout out because she's amazing. And she found me
in the bathroom and she's like, what's going on? And
I told her and she was so unhappy, and she
was like, you are beautiful. Your dress is beautiful. I
(44:19):
want you to go out there and have a good
time and ignore this. You are beautiful. And it was
just so sweet, sweet to have her, in that moment
be able to say that to me. But I think
that's where a lot of my issues began, was, you know,
constantly being told that the way you look and what
you have is wrong.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Well rightfully so because I was a teacher, that was
somebody in a position of power who made you feel
inadequate in a very vulnerable moment, and so taken aback
when you had done all of the right steps.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Yeah, you know, like this is someone.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Who targeted you, for sure in a way, and that
hurts my heart for you. And I think it's a
testament to you said, her name is Missus Hall. Yes,
And and teachers like mine, Missus Manning, who do step
in when the other ones fail. Yeah, and they show
up and they they make you feel warm and welcome
(45:14):
and loved for who you are. But it's also scary.
It's a scary thing that there's people out there in
the world, especially in the very formative years of kids' lives,
who can set the course, Yeah, in the wrong direction.
Like even though you had this other teacher who came
in and said, do not listen to this, your beautiful, amazing,
(45:34):
that's still planted a seed in your head and it
stayed there and it never went away.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Yeah. I will never forget how that made me feel.
And I still, you know, to this day, feel that way.
When I'm wearing things, I'm like, oh, got to make
sure I'm all covered up, or you know, got to
make sure I'm looking okay, because it's just so ingrained
in my brain. Ye, and I hate you know, it's
so sad, But I think that's where a lot of
my body issues began. Was from that and somebody commenting
(46:03):
on it, and you know, telling me the way I
looked wasn't wasn't right?
Speaker 2 (46:07):
You know. I remember there was a time when you
were trying on dresses for something.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
We were in your room. Oh was it CMA Awards
or was it for like, oh, I can't remember what
it was.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
It might have been CMA Awards, okay, but you were
showing me different dress options, and I remember this being
a conversation where you're like, well, my boobs. I was like,
who cares? They look amazing, And I was sitting there
trying to like hype you up in every direction looked fabulous,
but this was a very and you're like, I can't.
I don't think you ended up wearing that dress ident it.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
For that reason, I got something else that was like
straight across. Because it's just in my brain, because it's
not even that I think it's wrong, it's how now
I see myself and I see, oh, that's not good
or that doesn't look good, or oh you know, I'm fat,
or you know that it honestly just turned into that.
It made me just hate every single piece of my body.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
You know what, I hope on your wedding day you
wear a sweetheart neckline dress.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
You know. I've thought about that, and I think that
it's going to it. I hope it doesn't, but I
think it may affect how I shop for dresses and stuff.
I thought about my wedding day and what I'm gonna wear, and.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
I will be there to shop with you for dresses,
and I am not gonna let you not pick out
the dress.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Yeah, you're gonna be like you're wearing this.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah. It's something.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
I'm about to be thirty two, and it's something that
still affects me to this day. I think of those
moments and think of, you know, the other times people
have commented on my body and you know, said things
about it. I just think about that.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Well, I'm sure there's other women out there listening to
and who feel similar. So like, if you could go
back and tell yourself something in that moment, what would
you have wanted to hear? I besides the fact that
they should have happened, right, Sure, that's coming up.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
This should have happened. Honestly, I would just look at
myself and I would tell myself, you're beautiful. I know
that sounds so cheesy, but I would because I didn't
think I was, and I I would just tell myself,
you're going to be okay, You're going to like look
where I'm at now. At the time, I wanted to
move to Nashville, I wanted to have this job, I
(48:14):
wanted to do all these things, and I was able
to go do it. So I would just tell myself,
you're beautiful and you're going to be okay. Just keep going.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Oh well, that's why I always end everything out of advice,
and that was really pretty advised. So I feel like
that's where we shouldn't know. Thank you, even though I
want to talk to you forever and we have more
to catch up. I guess you'll just have to come
back for a part too.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Yeah, I would love to. I love doing stuff like this.
I've missed it so much, so I will I will come.
I'll come talk to you off mics, but also on
mics anytime.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Yes, do another. Is there anything else you wanted to
bring up before we leave?
Speaker 1 (48:51):
I think we've covered a lot I think I'm good.
I do want to say I'm very happy for you
and where you're at in life, Like I do want
to say that, like you are just killing it and
amazing and and I'm not just saying that because you're,
you know, one of my best friends, but I mean,
just over our friendship, the growth I have seen in
you is just incredible. We sat here and talked about
(49:14):
me this whole time, but you, like, I mean, it's
just been amazing.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Now I'm gonna cry. This was you. You were my guests,
we were talking about you. I do feel like I'm
in a I feel like I am in a you know,
where they say you have to shed old layers and
old experiences to enter a new season.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
I think this was almost a year of a lot
of shedding. Yeah, and next year is about to be
a crazy year. Yeah, is what it feels like, even
though this year was crazy and I like it this
year and it's wild, but.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
It is absolutely crazy. But you survived and you did it,
and I feel you've grown so much and have learned
very hard lessons but you're still standing and you're doing amazing,
and I just I it's like happy Morgan his here
and back and like my beautiful, bright, positive friend and
(50:10):
I just I love that.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Oh well, thank you. You've been a great friend to
me for the entire time that I've known you. So
I'm just glad that you're so happy and in a
very happy phase of your life and you have gotten
to see how amazing you are as you've grown.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
Yeah, I definitely feel it, So I appreciate it, appreciate
you and your friendship.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
And our little love fast needs in because I'm Gona
kryaka fine By. I hope you all enjoyed the girl
chat this week with Hillary and myself was really fun
getting to catch up with her. I really like having
the girl chats on the microphone for you guys all
to hear. If you want to follow her on Instagram
at Hillary dot Borden b O r d in. With
the holidays coming up, I still plan to put out
(50:52):
some new podcast episodes, so make sure you subscribe so
you don't miss them, because one of them might be
coming to you from your TBD. I hope it works
out how I have planned in my brain, and it
may not, but we're gonna try, all right, friends, thanks
for being here. I'll talk to you guys next week,
Love you bye,
Host
Morgan Huelsman
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