A Little Revenge w/ Clark Moore

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is part of my big push to decenter the
concept of penetration from sex. So you know, I don't
identify as a side. I don't really identify as anything
in terms of top bottom dichotomy. But I think this
is a really beautiful way for us to think about

(00:22):
sex as being more than just penetration.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
You know what. This is a safe space to talk
about relationships, love and sex. Now let me tell you
something messy. Okay, So I have, as you all know,
I famously I famously have gym crushes, always, always, always, always.
But the last, the very like last one that I have,
which was a while ago, finally asked me to like
spot him at the gym, which this was everything. I'm like,

(00:53):
oh my goodness, my gym crush wants me to spot
This is great. And you know, we were like waving,
you know, time and time again, and at the end
of it, he said, thanks, TJ. I think you remember this,
And I was like who, And I was like, no,
my name is Ray I thought it was. And also,
famously I never saw him again after that interaction. I'd
like to believe that he was so embarrassed that he

(01:14):
got my name wrong that he was like I can't
show my face this gym ever again. That's what I
like to believe. But I hadn't really had a gym
crush after that because that scarred me. That scarred me though,
like not knowing my what We had never met, but
like he thought it was somebody else, so he thought
he was talking to somebody else the whole time. That
scarred me because in my mind we was, we was.
I'm not saying we will get married because I'm already,
but in my mind, you know, we were going on

(01:35):
vacation in Italy at some point, you know what I'm saying.
We were gonna be fucking on a balcony somewhere. That
was in my mind, but that clearly wasn't in his mind.
So I recently had a new gym crush. Beautiful, fat
ass tall like six six and you know how I
feel about it, like six three six four and my
head goes up, you know, chin up to the sky. Tall,

(01:56):
fat ass, fat ass, beautiful walks in the gym where
it's baggy clothes. I love when they got a fat
ass and they were baggy clothes, I could still see
that you got a fat ass. Love. I love it. Anyways,
So I introduced myself to this person maybe two weeks
ago because I was like, you know, I'm just whatever,
let me just be friendly. Branded And then they told

(02:17):
me their name, which is whatever the name was, let's
call it. I'm gonna tell your real name because they
might listen to this, but or they might not, but
who knows. But we're picking a uh Kieran, they said, Kieren.
I don't know. I'm immediately though about Kieren Culkin, but
it's not anyways, he's a Karen. I said, oh, cool, Google,
So I remember Karen because Kieran got the fat ass whatever.

(02:37):
So now it's a week and a half later, he said, yesterday, yesterday,
So we at the locker room. We have lockers. It
happens somewhere in the gym at the same time, same lockers,
next next to each other, and it's Karen. I don't caring.
Karen's fat ass whatever. Kieren says, hey, hey, he said,
remind me your name and kin, and I was like, oh,
it's Brandon. And in that moment, I realized that I'm

(03:02):
not his gym crush. Do you know what I'm saying,
Because in your mind, the gym crush, you're in a
relationship with the gym crush. But this is not I'm
not your gym crush because you don't remember my name.
And when you crush on somebody, I'm a free somebody today.
When you are crushing on somebody, you are going to
remember their name. So if they're crushing on you, they're

(03:25):
gonna remember your name. But if they are not crushing
on you, and that's tim Because there are people that
I've been at the gym who I don't know that
they've introduced themselves several times. I don't remember the name
at all because I don't have a crush on them. So help.
There are plenty of people whose days I do remember,
don't play me, but some of them I don't remember.
We met one time I don't remember, but I don't

(03:47):
have a crush on you, so I don't remember. So
Kieran asking me for my name confirmed to me that
we are not going to Italy either. You know what
I'm saying that this is that I have to let
this go. And so so I'm on the hunt for
a new gym crush because I would like a reciprocal
Jim crush. I would like a gym crush who who

(04:07):
wants me to who sees me on the StairMaster and says,
look at that fat ass. You know what I'm saying,
look at that juicy, big fat I want that for me.
I deserve a Jim crush who also has a crush
on me, who doesn't want to do anything but just
have Jim crushes. Because I'm also not trying to listen.
I got two partners, I say, y'all, well, no, and
that is enough for me. I'm tapped out. I'm at capacity.

(04:30):
I really can't. If I see y'all at the dark room,
if I see you on the dance floor, if I
see you at the party, fabulous, But I cannot make
plans with nobody else because I'm capacity with those emotional
with my emotional bandwidth. But a gym crush, baby, I
can have plenty. So but this is just for y'all.
If you if you are crushing on somebody and you

(04:51):
have a whole band to see and you've introduced yourself,
y'all have exchange names, and then you discover they don't
remember your name, that crush is dead. You deserve better.
You deserve all right, By the way, Welcome to the show.
This is tell me something messy. I'm your host, Brandon
Kyle Goodman. Most people call me messy mom, but you
could call me delusjah ho. Come on, that was good

(05:14):
delusional delusion. How okay, okay, let's get his hard, let's
get it started. Oh, by the way, you can join
me on substack. I'm going to start doing live shows
on substack Messy Monday Night every Monday at six pm Pacific,

(05:34):
nine pm Eastern. You can log onto substack and you
can watch me key with you. You can also submit your
own messy stories or questions. Email me at tell Me
Something Messy at gmail dot com. Or if you go
on subsack, you'll see there's a link in that last
post I made where you can submit anonymously, even more anonymously.
Submissions always remain anonymous anyways. Substat Brandon Hawguman dot subsack

(05:59):
dot com. Messy Monday Night a live show every Monday
at nine pm Eastern, six pm Pacific. And it's just
gonna be a key key and sometimes we'll have guests
and all the good things. I hope to see you there.
And one more bit of hokeyping, don't forget to rate
review and subscribe to this podcast. Baby, we're trying to
get two hundred and sixty reviews by the end of April.

(06:22):
We're like one hundred and sixty right now, and so
I know we can get there. I know we can
get there. Okay, all the things, all the things. I
love you. Is there a doorbell? There is a doorbell
in three two? You know what that means. It is
tough for I guess now, while they get situated, we
will get our messy. Kikey started with a ho manifesto,
repeat after me, allowed or in your head. Grant me

(06:43):
the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage to heal,
the wisdom to know that sex is not just about penetration,
The audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries. The
strength to not call my ex that fuck boy, fuck girl,
or fuck bay, for it is better to masturbate by
myself in peace than to let someone play in my
motherfucking face that the community say hoolujah. Clarkmore is a

(07:09):
multi hyphen it actor, writer, and director. He is best
known for his roles in Love Simon and on Crazy
Ex Girlfriend. His most recent Phil not An Artist is
available now on digital and His newsletter whist Over, which
features essays, reviews, and recommendations, can be found at Clarkmore
dot subsack dot com. Hi h clark Im, you're here.

(07:33):
Thank you for being here. You were watching me get
myself together. Clark's one of those guests. You were here early, girl.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
You know I cannot be on time. Yeah, either absurdly
early or late.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
And wow, so which used to be absurdly early? Great?

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Well, more like it just worked out that way.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Lovely, lovely. Because I walked in, I was like, am
I late? Clark was like seeing it, I was like,
oh my god, But I love I love a prompt girly.
I wish I was more prompt myself. But before we
get into this, let me give you our messy mandates,
which are things get to be unprocessed. Any thoughts or
opinions shared have the right to shift evolve for change today,

(08:13):
tomorrow or ten years from now. And if during the
kiki something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we use
the safe word foosball, which allows us to pause and
pivot and address accordingly. Okay, copy, yes, I know, right,
because we'll I use it because as I everyone has
heard me say a million times if foosball comes up here,

(08:35):
like what is going on? Yeah, there should be no
reason to be talking about football, and for that reason
I'm going to do an episode on foosball at some point.
All right, let's play a game of smash or pass,
little lube breaker.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Okay, yeah, all right, so.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Smash or pass nipples being bitten. I guess not definitely
not pass. Okay, okay, this is why is on a smash?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Well, you know, I think, as with any thing, it
depends on the context.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Course, absolutely, this is this context will be the most
divine context then smash?

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Sure? Why not?

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (09:08):
I do get I have control issues.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
So when you said nipple biting, I immediately was like,
huh is it still thereafter?

Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know? Yes, because it is.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
I mean ideally, ideally I would hope design context. Yes, yes,
but in the alternate context, yeah, you know, noble blood.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
For me, I'm good, No, no, no, maybe just a little like.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
A little nibble, a little nibble, nipples being nibble yet
smashed for a nibble, smash for a nibble. I am
also a smash for a nibble, a light bite, which
I only thought I liked. I love my nipples being
suckedor licked. You can flick it. You can also squeeze it,
but I didn't know about the biting. And then my
partner bit my nipple, you know, in a in a

(09:54):
divine way, still there, still there. I was like, oh
my god, I'm actually quite into this, and that kind
of revealed and he is as well, so like kind
of revealed that we enjoy a little bit of pain.
Not too much nine into the torture of it all,
but like a little bit of pain, a little bit
of that pain pleasure or pain accentuates the pleasure.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
Yeah, totally, yeah, I don't know that.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I'm all the way there with you, Okay, okay, smash
or pass sniffing someone's come soaked underwear. I mean, I've
never done that, But what comes up when I say it?
Do you know what the thing is? Tell me a
lot of the I'm very kink positive, sure, you know,

(10:42):
and I'm also very like, you know, if that's what
you're into, then Gray, Yes, that's why pass feels too.
I mean, okay, because I'm like, who knows, anything can happen? Absolutely,
you know, to your to your point about messy mandate,
anything can change.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Anything can change it can evolve. I am I haven't.
Have I done this? Have I done this? Have I sniffed?

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I have? Oh my god, yes I have, absolutely, I have.
I have absolutely. In fact, I think like my boyfriend
came in an underwear once and I was like, I'm
going to take that with me now. And I actually
opened my yesterday it's fully in there. So yes, sorry, Yes,
it is a smash for me. People sell their comes
so underwear for money on the where my brain went

(11:26):
yes and yeah, and I was at it. I was
at a shoot and we were talking about it, and
we we're like, well, what is the what is the
pleasure of that? Or why do people want that? Which,
you know, there's a lot of reasons, but I think
it's like like wanting that from a stranger, like somebody, Yeah,
is it the same turn on? Like I understand from
my partner. But do I want you know, that random

(11:47):
hottie in that other you know country? Do I want
them to send me their sturdy jocks?

Speaker 3 (11:52):
I certainly don't want to pay for it myself. I
don't want to pay for it.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I mean, I have no nothing is it. I just
want to want to save my money from my green Jesus,
that's right, because that's right.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
To be clear, It's just that the budget is alligated.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, not that I'm opposed to. It's a budget. Yeah,
you gotta I gotta work the gotta work the co
pilot budget, you know, whatever the apps are these days.
But I'm but I do find it. I love that.
I love it as a kink or I'm curious about
it as a kink, like you know, people wanting people's sucks,
or yeah, totally an intimacy thing.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah, or like I heard someone say, I can't remember
who it was it was, Oh, I think randomly. It's
one of the two Plas brothers on an interview talking
about how he knew that his partner was the one
when he woke up one morning and her morning breath
didn't oh you know, it's comforting and known. Yeah, it

(12:47):
was like, oh wow, this is my life partner.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
That's similar to like one of fart, that like when
your partner's stinky fart doesn't bug you. I don't know.
I will never get to a point where I want
to see somebody ship in the toil. I don't care
how much ill you. I'm like, if you don't flush
the motherfucking toilet, I'll fight, but yes, the farts, the
morning breath, the burps were You're like, oh that's so cute,

(13:10):
but does that last forever?

Speaker 3 (13:12):
You tell me? I don't know, girl, I don't know.
I don't know either.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
I mean the only the longest intimate non sexual relationship
that I had was with my dog who passed away.
But I felt that way about his breath. Yeah, it
felt very like calming and comforting.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, somebody you love.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah, and the like stinky dog smell thing.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
People talk about this a lot, where like there's a
lot of people who like to have a smelly dog
in the house.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
Do you or did you?

Speaker 1 (13:38):
I there was a limit where I had to like,
but it didn't bother me. Yeah, it sort of felt. Yeah,
it was calming and you know, intimate in that sense.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah. I my husband would agree with you. I smelled
that breath and immediately started a subscription to his Greenies
because I said, no, we won't be doing that, baby.
And the amount of candles I have in the house
as well, yeah, like we keep the one does open
wash that dog often?

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, I also don't have it generally, Like I don't
when I go into someone else's.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
You don't it's your dog, is true?

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Right?

Speaker 2 (14:12):
You do want to spell somebody else's dog. But I'm
saying I don't even want to spill them and that's okay,
And that's okay, that's okay, all right, Smash for pass
having sex with porn in the background.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Oh, I think past. I think past because well, I
mean I think of the uh is that sex and
the city?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Oh? Sure?

Speaker 1 (14:36):
The I mean I think about like porn addiction in
general being something that I'm nervous about, certainly with a partner.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Nervous about the two of you getting addicted to porn?
Are you getting addicted to it?

Speaker 1 (14:49):
If nervous in the context of if that's something that
has to be if porn has to be on in
order for sex?

Speaker 3 (14:56):
Oh okay, Yes, I think engaging with it.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Fine, if that's a if that is a requirement that
makes me nervous, what if it's what if.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
It's not, what if it's just part of you know?

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Then sure? Yeah, try anything?

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, love, I tried a second time to make sure.
I know. Yeah, I it's not my go to I
prefer music. But I was looking up with somebody and
I came into their place and they had porn playing
and I was like, oh, I can get into this.
And sometimes the hardest thing though, for me with porn
with somebody else is deciding what porn it should be,

(15:32):
because we all have different tastes and things that turn
us on well, and.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
This is the other thing.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
A lot of people engage with it privately, and so
it's really unexamined. Yes, and then all of a sudden
you're like, oh, yeah, this is normal, right, And it's
like and it might it all is in its own
but might not feel it with the other person.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
Or you might not be aware of what you know,
and it's unlocking. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
It's like we have our different fantasies for different reasons
and different porn that attracted to for different reasons. And
so when you're by yourself with it, that's one thing,
But when you introduce a partner with it, it's like,
are we on the same yes, are we doing the
same thing, the same type of thing? We like? Yeah,
I was at a party and someone was telling me
that they were meeting a partner and they wanted to

(16:19):
introduce a porn because they like, you know, like the
stepdad porn or whatever. Yeah, and that was too much
for the other person. It's like, oh, well, it's not
bad that you like that porn, but yeah, now you're
thinking differently because you know you're the partner.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Didn't and is it examined? You know, like why why
is that interesting to you?

Speaker 2 (16:36):
I know, the fantasies are hard. I mean, I always
want to be curious, but sometimes you're like, they're I
don't know if this is true or not. But I've
had somebody say like, sometimes it's just like it is
what it is, Yeah, And you can't get too deep
into why because then it gets a little like why
do I love watching people get pissed? One like I don't.

(16:58):
I don't know if we're going to find that out,
but yes, I do think understanding maybe what it is
is being intentional about how you're engaging with porn, yes,
and when you're engaging with it and as opposed to
necessarily always asking well, what is the thing that I'm
attracted to?

Speaker 3 (17:17):
Right?

Speaker 1 (17:18):
I think that with all sex, you know, sort of
if it feels like a healthy relationship to it, and
I'm you know, I've been thinking a lot about porn
addiction lately because it keeps coming up in the context
of gender and particularly masculinity, relationships between men and misogyny

(17:39):
and women, and so thinking about like how do you
engage with it in a way that's healthy, thoughtful, examined
to an extent, but also not like addictive. Yes, I
feel like it's there's a secret the accessibility of it
with Twitter, and for sure it just sort of like

(18:01):
it has creeped.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
In a lot more than maybe it used to.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, there's so much of it now, right, it's not
just like a magazine that it's like under your bed. Right,
it's on your phone, it's your computer. It's now the
amateur lane of it is all so accessible, like anyone
can start only fans, anyone can put so for on Twitter,
and so you can, if you're not engaged with your sexuality,
kind of get lost in just that and also think

(18:27):
that this way of having sex is the correct way
or the only way, and you're not examining Oh, I
you know, the bottom is never being eaten out before
he gets fucked or I don't know if that's a
real moan, like a theatrical one. And then when you
go into real sex, you're comparing it to this fantasy

(18:50):
and that can also then become confusing because your partner
is not a porn star, and even if they are
porn star, like how they perform in front of a
camera and how they perform it in private not the
same thing, and allowing that to reality to exist and
for that to be okay.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, yeah, this is all from porn smasher past clearly
is it has brought something up in me. I guess past.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
Maybe I don't know what if this be, like, where
have we landed?

Speaker 2 (19:20):
I guess I guess it's We can give it a
smass okay, we can do a lovely like in between
smass hybrid. Yeah, you won the game, by the way,
did I? You won my unconditional love? Listen, I give
the cues on give it. If y'all have prompts for games,
or you want to tell me something messy, you can

(19:41):
email me at tell me something messy at gmail dot com.
Speaking of which, Clark, can you tell me something messy?

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Okay, I can tell you something messy. I will tell
you I have taken the prompt and I have gone.
I'm using the word relationship in a very broad yeah,
please okay, And it's not as sexual, that's right. It's
you'll see why it's messy. It's kind of a little
bit gossipy.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
We love a little goss.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
So, as I told your I'm here for the winter
and trying to figure out my relationship with Los Angeles
in general long term. It feels like my American home base,
which is which is quite nice, but that comes with
a lot of logistical issues.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Where do you live? How do you get around?

Speaker 1 (20:30):
And so this winter I decided to rent a car
from a friend, a friend of a friend who's.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
Sort of this like older guy.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
He fixes up cars, specifically like old Mercedes that kind
of like La Mercedes vibe. Yeah, sure, lovely car, beautiful,
you know, butter cream dream.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Well, butter cream gorgeous. Okay, describing a color like that,
butter cream, I don't we don't use that word enough.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
But you can see it, maybe I see it. I
can lick it, Yeah, lovely margarine yellow.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
And and it's a diesel car, so it's quite loud
and quite like smelly, like definitely not put on your mask.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
All right.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
And so anyway, so I had parked it on the
street outside of my house, and it was the oldest
car that I've ever driven, so it took some time
to get used to it. And I kind of was like, oh,
maybe I'm not an old car person, you know, like
the photos are.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Great, listen to Instagram is popping, but I don't know
if it's unfortunate.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, And so it kind of was sitting around longer
than intended, like I thought it would be my go
to whatever. So one day I walk out and someone
in my neighborhood I live on the West Side, which
which is lovely and beautiful, can be a little bit suburb,
a little bit suburb. And I walk out and there

(22:05):
is a sign on my car okay in front of
my house that says, please move your car or we
will have it towed. And it was one of those like,
you know, I've only received I've only received a note
like this once before in my life, and at the
time it was in a neighborhood that I didn't live in.
So I was like, fine, these people are assholes, you know, Like,

(22:28):
I didn't intend to piss you off my car.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
You could have just told me. You know.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
The reason why it's messy is because I have now
spent the last two weeks trying to figure out who
wrote the notes? I am like, literally, I am pissed,
and I am looking out my window every time someone
walks out the door. I'm like, isn't it is her?
So I'm kind of like in a secret war with
with all of my neighbors and a.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
Suspect right now, yes, right, And I just it feels.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
It feels like one of the pettiest things you can do,
you know, write a note and like I get it,
like you want me to move the car. It had
been around a couple of days, you know whatever. But like,
but why did they want to move the car? Was
it in a place that it shouldn't be part.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
It's a public street.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
But apparently there's a there's a law you can't have
a car parked for more than seventy two hours without
moving it. And let me tell you an hour seventy three.
They put that.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Note on a law.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
It's a law.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
That's a law where here Los Angeles County, Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
That seems like a who is that benefite? Exactly? It's
been you go on like a trip or something, you
can't leave a car.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
They don't want you to leave the car. They don't
want you you know, I live on the west side
near the airport. And so one of my other neighbors
who she's high on my sospect.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Let's call her Belinda. I don't know why.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yeah, let's call her Belinda.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Okay, yes, Welinda.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Belinda told me about the law the seventy two hours
and she was like, well, you know, why did.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
She tell you about that? Now I'm figuring this out.
Why did she tell you about the law? Did you
ask her?

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Did she exactly?

Speaker 2 (24:07):
We were talking and she she said she had seen
the note, okay, Melinda. And I was like, yeah, is
it a big note or like, does she meant to
bring it? It was a like like imagine paper that
you It was green and it had it was written

(24:28):
in orange marker. It was yeah, okay, it felt like
it felt like someone who has a kid, which is God.
I love this. So we know that they have construction paper.
They got they got an ink that writes an orange,
so they have kids parents.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
It was not a piece of paper an adult would write.
Absolutely got it outside of the context of a child.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Got it. Okay.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
So that's why Belinda she's kids. She doesn't, okay, but
she does have grandkids.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
I was gonna take off, but she's very bad on.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
She's in there. So she saw me come in. It
was like two or three weeks ago, and she said, oh, yeah,
so I did see your car that crazy note. You know,
you can't keep it for more than seventy two hours.
And I was like, oh, interesting, and she's like, yeah,
you know, people park here and they go to lax
and they leave their car. And I was like, I
don't really think they do that, Like I've never seen

(25:26):
that be an issue.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
So anyway, this is why it's messy, because I'm at
an war with my neighbors, of course, And this is
why I say, I really expanded the definition of relationship
because I've been thinking a lot about community and thinking
a lot about like how you live in community with
people around you, yes, and how like for most of
the winter, I mean, it was a really really lovely
love my neighborhood, love my neighbors until two weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, and now I'm like, do I burn it all down?

Speaker 2 (25:54):
I mean I'm always gonna say yes, Wait, are there
any other suspects beside Belinda?

Speaker 1 (26:00):
So across the street they have like three or four kids,
And this is actually what pisses me off.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
Tell me they're loud all the time.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
And you know what, I don't care, Like that has
never bothered you, not for a second. But for your
kids to be loud and screaming bloody murder, I'm running
up and down the street and then my car can't
be in front of the house for more than seventy
two hours.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
And this is the We're gonna call them the mcduffin family. Yes,
for mcduffins. The mcduffins have the kids that are allowed.
We think that, but what if So if they didn't
write the note, We're okay with the loud kids.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
But if they did, now I'm like, come on, okay,
class houses got it.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
I got a note for me, I got a note
for you.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Absolutely okay. So we have the mcduffins, we have Belinda.
Anybody else's that those are the two main ones. Yes, okay.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
The other ones I don't know as well because they're
not as like visible.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yes, I do find it strange. I will keep talking
about this. I do find it. I'm also just sort
of watching The Residents on Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Netflix. I'm
just so curious about Belinda offering this information unprovoked and
also like knowing about the note, like I never look

(27:12):
at people's cars like that.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Yeah, well, so here's some more information. Okay, yes, she
And this is also again when she's suspect number one.
There is another neighbor on my side of the street
who I guess. It's a big family, intergenerational family, a
lot of adults living in the house, a lot of cars,
and a lot of you know, limited driveway garage space.

(27:33):
So they have a lot of cars in the street.
And Belinda had threatened to have one of those cars toad.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Belinda is the neighborhood car police.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
She is.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah, she's like president of next door, you know, absolutely,
And so she told me that. She was telling me,
and I was like, oh yeah, And I feel so
bad because I did, like, you know, it was sitting
there for a couple of days, and when I saw
the note, I got pissed. But then immediately I was like, well,
how many times have they looked out this window and
been like that that clunker?

Speaker 3 (28:07):
That?

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Why is that? I've said it? I feel like this
thing about community and neighborhoods, and this is neighborhood I
grew up in, which is like if if somebody's car
was there, and we saw that it was about to
get towed. Now calling you and say, hey, were about
to get your car. That's right, you're saying like opposite, opposite,
like but not I'm towing your car, Like, yeah, if
your car is left there, I'm not like I know
this your car, Okay, no problem. I would be helping

(28:28):
you if, like I saw forces that outside of the
neighborhood coming in to funk with your car.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
That's right. No, the forces are within within, That's why
it's missing.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Oh my god. See I don't like that. I don't
like that.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
It immediately becomes like a horror film.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
And when I say pressed up against the window while
people walk by, that's like my face, Yeah, pressed.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Up against Because I'm gonna find y'all with these Yeah,
I got.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
A couple more days before I leave them. Fine, trust me.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Before I get out of here, I'm gonna find out
who you are and what would your retaliation be?

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Have you thought of this?

Speaker 2 (29:00):
If you discover that it's Belinda the mcduffin's.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Or well, that's about Belinda. So she told this. She
did put a note on someone else's car. She called
the police, They came.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Wait, so it's Belinda.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
I really think it could be, but it would be
wild because she like, really I know her. Well, yeah,
she's like next door neighbor for a long this one.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
It always is. Don't you watch severance? Isn't this I
know she's a little Yeah. Yeah, they can fuck you
up totally.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
But she said to me, at least you feel bad.
When I put the note on his car. He flipped
me off.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Belinda did it.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
And when I put the note on him, that's she
told herself.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
Right, what are you right?

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Well, because then I said because then I said, yeah,
I wonder who did it, as in like allowing her
the opportunity to be like, oh yeah I did it
because I didn't want the other neighbors or I didn't
want this, And she looked at me like, yeah, I
wonder who did it?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah she did it. She did it. She
told on herself as she did it. She told you
she put notes on the other people's car. She wanted
at cart she did it.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
I think so too.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Okay, so now you got to think about your retaliation.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
I know. But that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
It's like across the street, I would be okay with
next door.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
You love Blinda, it's a little too close to home.
That's fair, right, it's fair. Well, thank you for that.
I'm gonna be thinking about Blinda for a long time.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
Paid for her.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
I'm very part. You know what that means. It's time
for messymail.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
Are you down? I'm beautiful as always.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Y'all.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Submissions remain anonymous. This one says I've been having fun
with sides recently, and I used to make fun of sides.
I repent sides forever. Do you know what side is?
I absolutely do ye'ah. If you know what side is
basically everything with penetration. Has there been anything that you
used to make fun of, or used to not be
scared or be scared of, or even have like sexual

(30:57):
disgust around that you now enjoy?

Speaker 1 (31:00):
Well, oh, that's an interesting question. The side part I'll
start with. Let's start, which is this is all about
my By the way, I think, between the last time
I saw you and now I got a master's in
gender studies, did I tell you that?

Speaker 2 (31:14):
No? Okay, I casual, I got bored, Oh my god,
you got bored, and was like, let me go get
a master's in gender studies.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Literally, it's technically a master's in history, as my parents would.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
Not beautifle, but you specialized in the gender, story of.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Gender and sexuality, and I was mostly looking at you know,
my dissertation was on masculinity in early Soviet cinema, So
like creation of masculinity, art types, archetypes in film, and
the connection between the state and I mean literally all
that we're going through right now, sort of like Stalin
making a Soviet film industry in order to create masculine men. Yeah,

(31:51):
and also like, no, you know whatever, very obsessed with
a very particular type of body type.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
Why are you interested in that?

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Stalin is this series of Soviet exercise films that show
like the ideal body type and they're very.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Speaking it porn, very erotic.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Quite yes, But so anyway, all of this to say,
this is part of my big push to decenter the
concept of penetration from sex. So you know, I don't
identify as a side, I don't really identify as anything.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
In terms of top bottom dichotomy.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
But I think this is a really beautiful way for
us to think about sex as being more than just penetration.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Absolutely, we always say your sex is not about penetration.
I say, not just about penetration, But I really do
think it's not about penetration. Penetration is that one of
the tools you have in your sex box, but it's not.
It shouldn't be the go to, shouldn't be the only
It should be part of a larger masterpiece, if you will.
And so the sides thing, you know, I used to

(32:59):
hear a lot of I would see like a lot
of just even like other podcasts or sex podcasts that
would be disparaging towards sides, And like, what is that?
I was like, first of all, I really do hate
when marginalized groups then try to oppress other people. It's
like people are disgusted by, you know, top and bottoming,

(33:20):
by gay sex, so like why would you then take
that disgust and put it on people who are like
I don't want to do any of this or whatever
that is. But the other thing is what I've learned
is that I've actually had more intense orgasms not penetrating
like penetration. I love it, don't get me wrong, gir
I love it, but I have had really like transformative

(33:41):
sexual experiences that involved no penetration. And so I actually
think the sides are onto something quite incredible that actually
accentuates the pleasure of sex, because sometimes the penetration is
what we rely on. It's like when we fall back
on put the dick in, so we know we had sex,
it's but did you have pleasure? Was it? Was it transformative?

(34:03):
Was it uh sexy? Was it like or was it
just like you put a dig in a hole? Whereas
when you're when you're side and and you know, I
think that there are a lot of queer folks who
know this, but it's like when you don't penetrate and
you're just you're playing with your fingers, your mouth, your spit,
You're like you're just heightening, heightening the experience. And it's
so to this person, Yes, sides forever and prolonging.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
I mean, I think a lot of it also comes
down to, like why do we think of penetration as
the main event? Like socialized exactly and very like male
sentest patriot, yes, right, whereas even.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Sex education revolves around what it's a dick do?

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yeah, exactly exactly where you know, lesbians have been having
non absolutely non penetrative sex for forever, yes, and yeah,
so I wouldn't say that I made fun of sides ever,
I definitely like had that same thought of like, oh,
maybe sex hasn't happened if penetration hasn't happened. Sure, but
have been actively working to to change that.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Yes, I think we all have right Like it literally is.
I was talking about my sex head classes, which were
literally put a condom on, and so even just even
though that was the extent of the sex said class
in middle school, it was clearly telling me that, like
the the dick is going in this hole. Yeah, and
that is what we're going to call sex. There was
never anything about you know, we talk about I CANi

(35:24):
finding your turn ons using the term beama. So your body, environment, mood, accoutrement.
So we're on your body. Do you like to be
touched or kissed or licked? Where do you like to
have sexy environment? What kind of vibes do you want?
The mood and the accoutrement? What do you need? Yes?
Absolutely so when you think about accoutrements, you need to
trap one. Do you need lube? Do you need a
cockran We're not taught to like expand and think about

(35:45):
the think about sex as an experience not just an event.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, And to your point about that sex education, it's
also a very straight focus.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah for sure, head for sure.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
And I get it, Like a big part of our
sex education growing up was, you know, to oh, we're
both from Georgia.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
I went to school in Georgia from you. Oh that's right, yeah,
go to high school in Georgia.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yes, that's right.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
You know, Like my school was a very it was
a liberal school, but obviously parents were worried about pregnancy
and and STDs. So it's very focused on like a
fear based you know whatever. But and I get that,
like you don't want your kids getting pregnant, you don't
want to be responsible for teaching kids sex education. Then

(36:36):
all of a sudden, everyone's pregnant. Sure, there's some like
fear there, but then yeah, you kind of grew up
and you're like, okay, well how do how do we
do it?

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Then?

Speaker 1 (36:43):
And also, lets what does it mean? You know, like
what does virginity even mean in the context of a
gay male relationship, yes, or a lesbian relationship you know.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Well, even the idea of virginity like what like this
exactly folding of purity and that like you're not pure
if you like all of that which is more so
pressure on the volva owners the female You're like, you know,
you have to keep it for your wedding day or whatever.
You always don't have the same the same pressure in
that social pressure in that way. But it's like what

(37:15):
is who? I always think about, like who is that for?
Right when you when you adopt some of those values
as your own, I think as an adult, it's pulling
out and being like, well, who is that for? Even
when I think about like being a quote unquote ho,
which you will describe as like you're miscuous or you
sleep with a lot of people or you have a
lot of sex. But the shame around that, it's like, well,

(37:38):
whose shame is that? Like why should you have shame about?
You're taking care of yourself, your body, your partners, like
fuck as people you want, Why should you feel shame
around that? Who does that? Who do is you having shame? Benefit?
And I think women know this well right, Like it
benefits It keeps women in their place for them to
feel a shame, whereas boys can you know, put their

(37:59):
dick in anything and do whatever they want and we're
like go off babe, right wow, Okay, good side, good
resides listen, don't please do not knock aside for any reason,
but especially like they are actually uh experiencing experiencing the body.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
And also last thing I would say, I I have
been talking with a lot of friends who've been experiencing
a lot of bottom anxiety.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
And there's just what's anxiety coming from from seration?

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yes, ex Actually there's a lot of like, you know,
logistics that have to happen in anal sex that people
that make it perhaps less spontaneous sometimes.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
Or less available.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, And so I think that is a really great
way to remove that pressure from yourself from your relationship
where you can still feel like you've had sex.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
With yeah, having to penetrate absolutely.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
I because let me say this about bottoming, because for me,
douching takes like forty five minutes to an hour. I
don't know if I want to do that for averybody.
You know, like if I'm going out to a sex
party and like I can whatever, like go off, but
like just as a time in a place of absolutely,
if I'm in Madrid, honey, get you understand, I'm not

(39:14):
walking out, I'm not stepping out the door without being
douched and ready. But in general it's like, oh, I'm
just meeting this new person. I don't know if I
want to do all that for this because I don't
know what this chemistry is going to be. And so
there's something about taking that off the table that also
allows I find for myself, allows me to just like

(39:35):
show up and be as opposed to having anxiety over well,
this is the penetration going to be good? Like what
do I Did I eat enough? Did I not eat enough?
All that stuff around somebody who I may not even
be excited about having sex with quite yet.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
Yeah, yeah, we've already established that angry is a bad
place for.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Hungry is a bad place to be. It's just not
it's just not you do not want to have sex
hungry because sex and athletic. That's right, you need come on,
so you need to have calories in you. But it's
there is a there's a math, there's a budgeting that
that's a budgeting of food that happens, and I don't
want to do that for everybody, And so I think

(40:13):
it's totally fair to be like, there's no penetration on
the table and we get to and I think that
when you say that up front or when I said
that up front, where it's like what are you looking
for out of this? Or like maybe we're not gonna
have penetration, We're just gonna hang both of us. I think,
just like exhale, there are scenarios where you know the
person may not excel because all they want is pussy

(40:33):
it from someone who's actually really wants to get to
know you and wants to take that time. I think
we'll exhale with you on that and be like cool,
like no pressure there, because also topping is pressure, let
me not, let me not, you know, bottoming is pressure,
but also topping and lasting and totally not coming too
soon is its own set of anxiety. Yeah yeah, actually
wait I love this one. Hold on this one says

(40:56):
went to a sex cleve with two men and my
ex was working the door. Are he watched? I win
that your face? Your face, your face, tell me what
your face? Your feelings are high? Stakes are high. But
how satisfying to go to a sex club with two

(41:16):
beautiful men and your ex is working the door and
then he has to watch you gif up.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Yeh up, Okay see that feeling, Yes, is what I
want from my when I get back in my neighbors.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
That is exactly.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
I don't know how that's what you want with Melinda.
I want Belinda to watch me win. Yes, yeah, that
is correct. There's no better high. Absolutely, success is the
best Forbade absolutely to succeed. I just feel like this
scenario is like the perfect end to a rom com.
That's right, that's exactly whe my head went to. I'm like, yes,

(41:56):
so she got the boys and her ma has to
watch her excess to watch when this person ended. I win? Absolutely,
maybe you you did win? You know in the air.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
I want to know what happened in that breakup. I
want to know, like the short of the juice, the details,
how did we get to here? We get how did
we get to this breakup? And how did we get
to the ex working the door at the sex party? Yeah,
I would you know? In our scripted version, I think
you know that your ex is working the door.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Well, that's that's with the rom com that it could
go two ways. Be like, that's the fantasy, that's what
we're like aiming for, and then the reality is more
like the guys who show up aren't that hot.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
You can't get into the club, or you know.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
But what I want is that the guys are gorgeous
and and you do get in just to watch. I
love that. And your ex tries to get into the
club and for whatever reason, the club forgets he works.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
There, and then kick him out.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
The X gets fired fired on the shift, and then
your VIP all night and they give you free drinks.
This is this is the fantasy that I want for all.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
You do it you do?

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Okay. This one says I'm going on a date with
a girl. My former situationship is also seeing. Do I
steal his girl? I mean that would be mess.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
See, Okay, I'm going okay, so let me just yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Let's do the math. I'm going on a date with
a girl. My former situationship is also seeing. Okay, do
I steal his girl? So the girl is the mutual? Yeah,
these two people are both engaged. Yes, do you have
the power to steal the girl? You better say that.
You better say that. Also, if you're both seeing her,

(43:44):
it's not his girl. She don't belong to nobody, that's right,
she's her own. She's obviously dating.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
I was gonna say, I hate to break it. You're
in the power.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
I don't actually know if you can, she's the one
who's actually winning.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Yeah, Like, wait a minute, then you're in the passage.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
See absolutely, I mean, but but I do respect. Here's
the thing. If you're asking should you see his girl,
I'm assuming that situation ship did not work out well?
But also how messy is that because you were in
a situation with that person and now they're with this person,
but you're also seeing that person, so he's in a
situationship with that person. So why are you trying to think?

Speaker 3 (44:25):
If I can tell this story a friend.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
And whatever, we can foozball it, youkay, we can edit
things out, so go ahead.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Well okay, okay, I'll tell it, and I'll i'll we'll
see if it feels abstracted. Okay, So basically, this exact
situation is happening. Happened to a friend of mine where
she was seeing this guy for a long time and
just kind of like not the vibe.

Speaker 5 (44:49):
You know.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
He kind of.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Is like got a little too big for his britches,
very small community, but feels like that's it. He's like
his little king of his little castle, you know. And
she's globally minded. She's like here, she's there, she's like,
your little castle is really like a place at but
but go off right drager. So anyway, they're kind of

(45:17):
like separating. He I think he had sex with someone
who was married, a woman who was married, and sort
of like prompted the divorce was already happening, right, but
definitely like that was yeah, there was like an overlap, right,
like they had already decided it was going out whatever.

(45:40):
This friend ends up going out for a work drinks
a random guy who has reached out to her and like, oh,
I found your information and like I really want to
talk to you about your work. I think, like what
like five or ten minutes into the conversation, he's like,
you know your ex is fucking my.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
Wife, Isn't that wild?

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Clark. I can't imagine showing up, getting myself dressed to
go to what I thought mean a work meeting. Honey,
I'm ready, I got my iPad, I got my files
on the computer. It's like work on the pitch. It's
noon on a Tuesday. It's a fresh noon on a Tuesday.
I am ready. I show up to this meeting. And
then five minutes into what I think is a work meeting,
this man says, your ex is sucking my wife. Yeah,

(46:31):
what do you say?

Speaker 1 (46:34):
You called the waiter and you say, you know, actually
that coffee, Let me get the Martin. She was like, okay,
so this is not a work meeting. I want that
to be her next line, Oh so this is an
org meeting.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
I got it. So no, I'm like, I.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
See the messiness. I get the messiness. I think this
this particular person who's written in, I think you're just
along for the ride. Yeah, I think you enjoy it.
I also think, you know, it can be fun to
engage in, like getting back at you know, the.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
Fine.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
But also also why why I do think like listen,
I love I love the petty stories, and I love
the petty fantasies. We love a fantasy. But I think
sometimes in executing it, it's just like it would just
be easier for you to just move on, you know
what I'm saying, Like, you know, it's like we don't
need that karma, we don't need the whatever, Like I
don't need to because then also like if if you're

(47:35):
stealing quote unquote stealing the girl, then now she's kind
of a random heart that gets pulled into this, which
is exactly. You're doing this because you want to get
back at that person, but this is she's actually trying
to date you, and so now you know, it just
becomes murky and more people get hurt than need to
be hurt. And so I'm like, have the fantasies play
it out. If it works out that you show up

(47:56):
at the club with your two men your ex is
working the door, fabulous, like, if that's how it works out,
But otherwise move on.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
You know, you know that is the exact difference between
those two where the serendipity of the moment of showing
up at the club the magic. You know, you're you
are just living your life. As you said, living a
good life is the best revenge. Yes, absolutely, go for it,
live a good life. If you get that moment, you.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Get that way, yes, yes, But to seek it out, yeah,
I'm always like keep your side of the street clean.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
Absolutely, you know, like your car park move it every.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Okay, this, I'm like, let it go. While you're like
still plotting, I'm about to get I have a couple
of days, so I leave.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
I say, not gonna catch.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
Up in a red handed You should park another car
for the next seventy two hours and then just put
a camera on it and wait because they want to
hit that car too. That's right, So you should you
should like go to like what is it?

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Oh, enterprise, enterprise, you're gonna know what I just so
I have a ring camera. I haven't thought to look
at the goodness because it's not my house and it's
a it's a family house, and I but there's a
ring can I just learned that.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
They record, they pay for the recording service.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
We're about to catch Melinda in the act. That's right, Okay, Yeah,
If that doesn't work though, they get the car from enterprise.
I'm gonna find it out one way or another. This
one says I got a promotion last week and almost
celebrated by blowing a coworker in the bathroom. Oh that's

(49:42):
what I said. I have. I'll say this. I've always
when I guess when I get like some kind of win,
I'm always like, give me cookies to dinner. But I've
never gotten a promotion at work and then thought to
suck in fact, the opposite, right, because if I got
a promotion, cars looking at me even more.

Speaker 3 (50:01):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
It sounds like this person just wants to blow the color.
That is what it sounds like. You're just like you
need an excuse to suck.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
This person walks in and then like, oh it's Monday, blows.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
Nothing to do with the promotion. Really, I got a promotion.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Where's my coworker? Right?

Speaker 1 (50:19):
I can relate to that sometimes. I mean, Mindy Kayling
was just talking about this in an interview, not blowing
a coworker, but I think it was in her conversation
with Kate Hudson at the ninety second Street Why, like
a couple of weeks ago, talking about her show Running Point,
which I love, Yes, And she was talking about how,
you know, the office obviously comes up a lot because
it was her first big job, and how office places romances,

(50:44):
how common they are, and how it makes sense that
you fall in love with the people that you're spending
fifty hours, Yeah, the intimacy that builds, yes, and also
how they're kind of I mean similar to severance. How
they are these liminal spaces where you like go out
into the world, yeah, and live your lives, but then
you have these separate that.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
Only you guys know about your work.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Ye, it's half your life.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
I mean, you know, it's it's and it's also the
thing that provides for the rest of your life, which
is two thing. But so I know that feeling and
a shared experience, you feel seen by that person. That's right,
and it's it's also the kind of intimacy that you
really only get with partners. You're like sitting next to
this person all day long, just like not talking.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Yeah, or you're or you're working on projects together. You're
building things from scratch together, You're going up against obstacles together,
You're you're overcoming those obstacles together. Oh yeah, yeah, I
could see that.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
I mean, I think back I had a couple of
coworkers that I would have celebrated with, yes at this
one job, and I just think back to how we
would like, you know, there's plenty of conversation happening and whatever,
but there would be long stretches of just like you know, and.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Like that's just intimate where you're just it's a thing.
It's like where I think the best friendships exist, which
is your able to just like hang out and not
talk and just can't be in the same space existing.
It's the most intimate thing. I think of a marriage
of your best friendships and so that makes sense. With
your coworkers, we're just like sitting here in the space,
working together, not talking. But the breath is being exchanged,

(52:15):
the energy is being exchanged.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
It's very ill the body.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Yeah, it's very side energy. That is a connection, right,
It's like it's that energy of like, oh, we don't
need to penetrate, but like that there is the It's
about the energy, it's about the flow, it's about being.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
I mean, that's my whole delusion, Brandon. I've been in
a lot of relationships with people. That doesn't mean they
were in relationships with me too. Okay, you can say
you might have a lot of gym crushes, subway crushes.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
I'm in full relationships with them.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
I with xes to yeah, I sort of you know,
are we going to talk about being single?

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Yeah, we're about to do yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Okay, So this is a good segue too. I don't
mean to take over your past, but take it. This
is a good segue into I've been single for a
very long time and also like I have not been
in a long term relationship in a long time. But
I love of romantic comedies. All of my writing is
in the romance love space. My substack is all about
like falling in love with a man on the train. Yes,

(53:10):
very delusional carry Bradshaw type thing. And I make this
joke that you know I have a lot of xes.
I call a lot of people my exes, Yes, and
they many of them would be shocked to hear that.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
I feel like, didn'ts inmership with you?

Speaker 3 (53:26):
And who are you?

Speaker 2 (53:27):
I's your name? Well?

Speaker 3 (53:29):
New phone? Who is like?

Speaker 2 (53:31):
I never even had your phone number? Yes? Absolutely, well
let me ask you. We'll let's read this one because
this submission feels right on the topic of that which
they said. I'm tired of the dating carousel and being
alone as I'm getting older. Most of my friends are
now in relationships and hitting new milestones, buying houses, starting families,
and I'm here sipping wine and eating ice cream. Ain't

(53:52):
nothing wrong with that. I love so I love so
much of my life, but it feels as though people
are looking at me like I'm broken because I'm in
my late thirty and still single. I want to find
my person.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
But how see this? And this is what I texted
you about earlier. I've been thinking about this a lot
because I just turned thirty four.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
A cup a week ago, Happy birthday, Thank you. I
was fishing, and.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
I have been feeling this a lot where I go
to a lot of dinner parties and I'm friends with
a lot of people who are older late thirties or
early forties, and similarly, like have you know kids or
houses or all these milestones. It is such a great
word because you feel this pressure to do things in
a certain order and also to do them at a
certain pace.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Ime yah pace. And that's why I mentioned the concept
of queer temporality. Will you explain what that is?

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Yeah, So it's this, It's basically the idea that we
as queer people experience life on a different timeline because
and not just life, but development as well. So if
you think, like I came out to myself, yeah at
thirteen or fourteen, but there are plenty of people who
I know, people who've only just come out a year ago,
and I'm my same age. So how could we possibly

(55:07):
be on the same developmental timeline as queer people If
I've been thinking about and envisioning and imagining my life
as a queer person for twenty years and they've been
thinking about it for like a couple of weeks, Right,
you know, and sometimes you go on a date with
someone you realize like, oh right, you're at a different,
different part of your journey. And I think part of

(55:29):
what is so the reason why I like this concept
too is because I get it from queer people. I
get it from plenty of gay friends who are in relationships,
or I've gone to plenty of weddings of gay friends,
but I mostly get it from my straight friends. I
mostly get it. I mentioned what I call the Bridget
Jones effect. I mostly get it where I'm at the
dinner table. Everyone else is in a relationship and conversation

(55:52):
is going great, and then all of a sudden, the
heads turn and everyone's looking at me. Why is everyone
single these days?

Speaker 3 (55:59):
Clark? You know, like, what's going on? And you're just like, huh.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
I mean, I can't answer that person's question of you know,
you want to find your person and how do you
do it. I am at a point in my life
where I am living a beautiful I'm actually very proud
of myself. I told you before we started, I got
a visa to go to Paris on my own. I'm
building a life as an artist, and my life is

(56:26):
exciting and it's thrilling, and it's full. This approach revolutionized
my relationship with La, which I hated for so long.
Now I love it because because I'm living a real
life here, you know, I'm not like begging the city
to give me things and building community.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
I'm showing up for people, and I'm at.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
A place where I'm kind of like, if that puts
me in the position where I meet someone and they're
additive to my life, then I welcome that.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
And I'm very open. My energy is very open to that.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
I'm consciously putting myself in queer spaces with people who
are similarly aged and also similarly creative or internationally minded,
you know, so basically curating my life such that the
people that I meet are also living a similar.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Type of life.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
And then if something happens with one of them, great,
and also if not, as will be said, I don't
want someone in my house.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
Oh my god. I think about that often. I have
two partners, and I love them both, but I think
that relationships are so romanticized when actually they take a
lot of work, and sometimes I think it is better
to just be chillen by yourself, happy built architecting the

(57:40):
life that you want then to be trying to architect
a life around having somebody in your house who you
may not even like, who might not even be additive
to what you're trying to do. I think what I
think about is what you just told me, that story
where the straight friends turn to you and say, tell
me about being single. And it's not about the question
about being single, but it's the tone that it's being
said with, because there's nothing wrong with being single, and

(58:03):
there are people who actively do not are not interested
in a partnership, or interested in a monogamous partnership, and
those those ways of living are just as valid. But
we are socialized to believe that if you do not have,
as this person said, I feel broken or people looking
at me like I'm broken, if you don't have a partner,
then suddenly there's something wrong with you. And it's like
why why are people single? It's like I don't know, babe,

(58:25):
like my choice whatever, Like they live in their life.
That's not why is that the question? Why is the
question not? Like I heard you going to Paris about that,
Like that's far more interesting than you know who you're
dating or who you're fucking, or who you're in love
with but we're so it is ingrained in culture. I
mean it's in everything, right, like every book, every even

(58:47):
like I'll never forget what was it called Raila Davis's
movie Woman King, and they talked about it because there's
a random like that movie is ferocious and those women
are just fucking masterful in it, but there's a random
love story that feels so out of place. And I

(59:07):
think Viola talks about this, which is like the studio
wanted that love story because they didn't think it would
work if there wasn't some kind of one of them
falling in love. And it feels out of place because
you're like, you don't need it. But we're so socialized
from a media standpoint that everything you create has to
include I mean, look at all the shows you're watching,
like there is a love story in it, Yeah, and

(59:28):
so you are being conditioned to believe that you cannot
exist or thrive alone. I recently watched Eat, Pray Love.
It was so watching it. I don't know if I
said it on the show, but it's the first time
watching it, and I was so pissed at the ending
because she ends up with another man. I was like
the whole thing was her finding herself. How does she
end up with this man at the end like she's
supposed to? Like why is it? Why is the movie

(59:51):
or why would we not find her story successful? She
got divorced At the top of the movie, she goes
exploring and traveling, she finds herself. Why is that not
satisfying enough? Why is it that she has to find
another man in order for her to feel whole? Like
that is so infuriating because I think then it also

(01:00:11):
works on those who are single to make them think
as well. And you tell me if I'm wrong, you
can do the work to combat it. But it's still
like this default where like, oh is something wrong with me?

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Yeah, and like I should be I should be doing
the work, I'm misting something.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
I'm not doing something, or there's something off with how
I'm approaching this or I should be approached like you
start to try and plot how to get this other person.
Whereas to answer this question more directly, I really always
say there's this desire for us to find our other
halves in this way that we approach dating and marriage
and love where it's like I'm not complete until I

(01:00:50):
have this other person and I really want us to
shift that and say I complete myself. And if this
person comes in, they're additive, They're an expansion of who
I am. And that to me too, makes the pressure
off of the dating, because if you think about it,
if you're coming at dating from a space of like
I need to find my other half, then you're showing
up on your dates where this other person is now

(01:01:12):
going to become responsible for fixing you, for making your whole,
and they're putting that pressure on you, and that's an
impossible task to complete. Even the ones who think they're
doing it end up it ends up straining the relationship
because you haven't figured out how to be enough for yourself.
You haven't figured out how to spread your cards around

(01:01:33):
to not just your romantic partner, but to your friends,
to your community, to Belinda. I love Belinda, but it's
like when your romantic partner becomes the be all end all,
that's a lot of pressure you're putting on them, and
a lot of pressure for you that no person, no
one person, should be able to hold. I can't be
responsible for you feeling lovable. I can't be responsible for

(01:01:58):
you feeling whole. I can only expand and accentuate and
hype you up and and reaffirm what you know about yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Yeah, I also think the two things I want to say. One,
Aprey Love is such a great example because the secret
of Apray love that many people know, but that you
don't think of when you just watch the film. She
sold the book before she wrote the book. She sold
the book before she went on the trip, right, so

(01:02:29):
she pitched the idea of I'm going to go I'm
going to find myself. I'm similar to like the Viola
Day of Julia Roberts relationship in the film. I read
that book and thought like, oh, this person went on
a journey and wrote it and then like you know,
like I have this brilliant book here, but I'm but
it's kind of like the love story to me is
really like that author Elizabeth Gilbert and herself, Yes, writing

(01:02:54):
a book, coming up with an idea, pitching it, selling it,
and then writing it and cashing the fus love story.
Maybe that's what's interesting to know, like getting that in
order for it to sell, it had to have this.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
I had to have that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
I don't know if that I don't know what her
like romantic life. I don't eat now.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
I don't either. I know a little bit about it actually,
but but you know, just the way that that that
movie ending, and I haven't read the book, but the
movie ending just felt so forced, not in a this
is not a critique on the writing. It felt like
a studio for it felt totally. It did not feel
like the author was like, I want to make sure

(01:03:32):
that she finds a partner at the end. It felt
like the whole thing was I'm finding myself. And then
some studio exec said, but she needs a man. Who
is she without a man? And like that, who, indeed,
who are you without a man? Is such a you know,
such a fucked up legacy of our culture, the thing

(01:03:52):
that we perpetuate, that would perpetuate to women. And then
I think also the gays adopt as well, totally, you know,
the homosexuals, I think we adopt that that's same because
we fall into the heterosexual dynamics.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Well, well, because like you know, you have all these
I just got a birth announcement. I got two this week, actually,
one in the male and one via text of friends
who are my age one who's a year younger, just
had his first child, one who is exactly my age
and has three Yeah, had his third child, and I'm like,
you know, our lives could not be more different as

(01:04:24):
a wife and a house and three kids. And the
other thing I was going to say was that using
the concept of career temporality, applying that to your life,
one of the beautiful things is that you can do
things out of order. You know, Like I realized a
couple of years ago that having kids is something that's
interesting to me, and it's not something that's interesting only

(01:04:45):
within the context of a relationship like a man I
have yess and I can have kids. For me, it's
more of a financial barrier. There's like a financial milestone
I want to cross before I feel comfortable having a child.
But you know, I look to people like Shonda Mindy
or all these people who are single, have work success,

(01:05:05):
have close family and friend relationships that make them feel whole,
have kids, and that feels beautiful to me, you know, like,
I really don't think that the other side of it.
And this is where I'm curious your thoughts as a
person who's in relationships. Yeah, part of me, the only
thing voice in the back of my head, having very

(01:05:26):
consciously over these past two and a half years, built
a life that I love and I'm excited about.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
It's very new. Yeah, Like I have been clinically depressed
for a long time.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
Yeah, And like woke up the other day and was like, whoa,
I haven't been depressed in like seven months, wow.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
Which is wild.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
I just thought it was like always going to be
part of my life. But the only thing that creeps
into the back of my mind from now from time
to time is that the party line is that you
have to be putting yourself out there. You have to
be on the dating apps, or you have to be
going on days. I heard at one of these dinner
parties someone told me a story about how their friend

(01:06:04):
realized he's always out of town for work. It's like
a camera operator or something. Yeah, so when he's back
in town, the only way he would meet someone is
if he consciously went on dates. Yeah, And he was
going on up to three dates a day for like
three to six months, and then he found someone and
now they're married, And I was like, see, but that
to me feels like reverse engineering in a way that like,

(01:06:26):
I don't need to be that married I would like to.
I would love to be surprised by life. Sure that
brings me a partner that warrants marriage, but I really don't.
I'm not going on love is blind, you know what
I mean. I'm not like, I don't want to just
marry anyone.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
I'm with you on that, And I mean, like, go
off if you want to go on three dates a
day to find your partner, you know, that makes it
sounds like you're thinking about as like a numbers game,
Like yeah, totally, the more people you see, the more
likely you'll meet the person, which go off. Also great,
by the way, that is actually great. Wrong, We've ten
We've written ten movies today. I just want to checks time.
But I I for me, it feels still burdensome and

(01:07:12):
not that I want. Love is work, absolutely, but I
would rather be spending that time working on myself and
building up myself and my life and my community and
have somebody be able to organically be part of that
as opposed to because I think sometimes what happens culture
is like we spend all that time working on that
relationship and then we disappear with that relationship, and so
now we're pulling back from our community for that person

(01:07:35):
and for our family and whatnot. And it's like then
you lose yourself in that end no shade, but like
divorce happens. So then you've been in this relationship for ten, fifteen,
twenty years, isolating yourself from everyone else, and then that
relationship ends, and where are your people? You haven't actually
been investing in them. And that's why it's like, you
can get married, you can whatever, but like it shouldn't
become the be all end all. And that's not because

(01:07:58):
you might break up, but like life happens people you know, partners,
I like not to be worried, but like you were,
the fantasy that we are the only two in the
world forever and ever is a fantasy. The reality is
you need community. And so I would rather spend my
time building out my life and let the straits ask
me what it is to be single all they want

(01:08:19):
and it's like, that's none of my business. I'm going
to Paris tomorrow. You tell me what it is and
go from there, and just like work on understanding that
I am enough as I am, because that's where I
want to meet a partner. I want to meet a
partner who again I know is being additive. It's the
same thing I twitched managers last year. Brief anecdotic. I

(01:08:39):
switched managers and for a couple of months I managed
my career myself because I wanted to figure out what
was being done and what were the elements of my career.
And sometimes I think that we don't know the elements
of our life. We look for somebody to come in
and tell us what it is, and it's like, no,
you be in charge of it. You figure out what

(01:09:00):
it is. What do you want, what do you like
about yourself, love about yourself, love about your life, and
then let somebody add and expand to that instead of like, oh,
I need somebody. I need this manager to make my
career happen. I need this partner to make my love happen,
to make me lovable that I think will run its course. Yeah, yeah,
that's not that's not good for longevity inside out versus Yes, yes, absolutely.

(01:09:25):
I love you so much.

Speaker 3 (01:09:26):
I love you too.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Thank you for having.

Speaker 3 (01:09:29):
Oh I have to tell people to watch my movie. Oh,
please tell them I made a movie. Actually, finally enough.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
One of the last times I saw you, we had
lunch at that restaurant in West Hollywood, and this was
like four years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:09:40):
I had just.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
Come back from filming it. It's called Not an Artist.
It's it's on Amazon. It's great cast directors Alexei Pappis
and Jeremy Teischer and Orange distributed by Utopia, Yest, great great,
Roslyn Shackleypatrick compan Now that I'm saying the names, I
feel like I have to say everyone.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
You're good Gata. So that's a great cast.

Speaker 3 (01:10:02):
Go see it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
Not an Artist. It's available wherever you connect to the internet. Yeah,
thank you, thank you for having me, thank you for
letting me plug. Of course, well you know we're hose here,
but hose with heart. So before we get out of here,

(01:10:24):
let me speak to yours. Belinda absolutely did it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
I don't know why we were going back and forth
for we went a little back and forth a little
too long, because Belinda clearly did it. All the sides
point to her, and yeah, I'm just I know Clark
is now I think Clark is in Paris at this point,
but we can all agree, right, Belinda did it perfect. Also,
respect aside, I love that, and I just want to

(01:10:51):
repeat that. Obviously, I love respecting anyone, but I want
to repeat because I know that the sire community gets
ragged on, especially by those of us in the gay
male community. And you got to respect to side because lesbians, no,
we talked about quirt folks, that we're talking about energetic sex.
What we've talked about on here. You know, we had
that conversation with Liz Goldwyn last week. You know, sex

(01:11:13):
is about energy, it's not about penetration. And I think
that side being a side or side sex if you will,
is all about leaning into that. And I promise you
for those of you who are who might have unintentionally
knocked being with sides or you know, maybe unintentionally puts
your nose up at it, some of the most transformative sex,

(01:11:36):
some of the best fucking sex you will have, is
with the side. Because sex is not about penetration. I'm
telling you, I'm telling you toes curl, leg twitch and
pussy pop like find you a delicious side to be
with and and expand your sex box if you will.
This is the PSA. Stop asking people why they're saying

(01:11:57):
goal that's a crazy fucking question. For some reason, we
all feel it's a culture and we feel the audacity
the permission to ask people why they're single, especially after
a certain age, Like what that is not a loving
or compassionate question. It's also not I don't know, a
real question. If somebody is single, they might be single

(01:12:18):
by choice, they might also be looking, and they don't
need you in your partnership to be like why are
you single? That's I just obviously there's more to say
about this, but that particular question I want to highlight.
There's so much more to a person than who they
are dating or married to or in partnership with. That

(01:12:39):
is part of their life, but it's not their whole life,
and shouldn't be their whole life. And so you know,
if you know somebody is single, if they want to
talk about their love life with you, let them. But
you don't need to be asking that tone. I'm just like,
why are you single? It's a crazy fucking question. Also,
just a reminder whether if you're relationship or you're pursuing

(01:13:01):
a relationship, that you are not completed by that relationship,
that that relationship is part of you. That relationships, whether
they're romantic, platonic, familial. I hope that there are ones
that expand you, that are a mirror to what you
are already pursuing, you know, and if you are somebody
who's single that is pursuing, you know, partnership. Do not

(01:13:23):
underestimate working on yourself. I'm not saying work on yourself
until you're healed and then you're in a relationship, Like
no one walks into a relationship one one. As long
as you're alive, You're never gonna be fully healed. I
just have to That might be controversial to say, but
you're not. You're not going to leave this bitch fully healed, Okay,
So so put that away. There's always gonna be something

(01:13:44):
if you're if you are really doing your intentional, internal
reflective work, there's always gonna be something that's gonna come
up and something to work on. You will be better
off than you were if you are working on healing
those wounds, of course, because you know, we don't want
these past traumas and wounds to bleed on new relationships.
But this idea that you were going to heal yourself

(01:14:06):
and then enter into relationship is also a toxic thing
because when you're in relationship with somebody, other things are
going to be brought up. Right, There are trigger points
that are going to be hit when you're living with
somebody that you wouldn't you have hit if you weren't
living with somebody. Trigger points that are going to get
hit when you are ten years in a relationship with someone,
twenty years in relationship with someone that is not going
to happen after a year, and so there are things

(01:14:27):
that you're going to be that are gonna be brought
up to heal always. So it's not about that. I
think what's most important is what is your intention inside
of wanting to be in a relationship, and if it
is for completion or so that you can feel like
you are, you know, a whole person, you feel as
cool as the other people in relationships. That might not

(01:14:49):
be the right reason. I don't want to put a
right or wrong on it. That might not be the
best reason, the reason that will fill your cup up
the most, because then there's always like a lack, because
then you're moving around the world as though you are
lacking something where you are and as we always say,

(01:15:10):
you are enough as you are. So I think thinking
about relationships as an expansion of who you are instead
of a completion is will garner the results that you
want for a longer lasting relationship because I think sometimes
when people are pursuing and you know, you tell me
if I'm wrong, when people are pursuing relationship for completion,

(01:15:31):
that's where you know you're in that relationship thinking it's
completing you, and then something happens and you wake up
and you're like, oh wow, I'm not completed by this,
and now you're looking for something else to complete you,
as opposed to letting that partner be someone who expands,
who expands you, and who expands with you, and then
there's kind of there's no edge. There's no edge, right like,
you can just keep flowing and going. It doesn't mean

(01:15:53):
the relationship will last forever, because what the fuck is forever?
Nothing will last forever. Controversial hetake, But I think that
you will have a more solid foundation to weather the
storms of of what it means to be in a
relationship because relationships are work. Beautiful work, expansive work, but

(01:16:14):
it still is work. And I think, and maybe I'm
gonna say this for myself, but you know, obviously can
apply to use well. Culturally, there is the movie always
ends when they get together, right like, or the movie
ends when they're about to break or begins when they
break up. But like no one, we don't really discuss

(01:16:37):
the in between, the ups and downs, the roller coaster
in between, the times where there's real conflict, the times
where you take do the work to mitigate that conflict,
to absolve or dissolve, absolve one of those words, get
rid of that conflict. We don't really talk about the
gray space in the relationship where it's not always a

(01:17:02):
joyous ten and it's also not a zero, but there's
that area where it's a five and y'all are just
like working together and building together and it's hard and
it's stuff and it's and it's beautiful, but also not
as interesting as you know the first month you were together.
And so yeah, I think that just just waking up

(01:17:27):
from the fantasy of what a relationship is and knowing that, like,
it is something that is worth working for, but there's
work and there are more questions to ask besides just
like you know, do I want to fuck this person?
Or do I want to be married? Like they're they're like,
because what is the marriage? All the focus is on
the wedding, right we we I mean, baby, When Matthew

(01:17:50):
and I were considering having a wedding. I think that
the chairs alone, we were priced at like five K
and I was like.

Speaker 5 (01:17:59):
I still alone, I'm not spending five thousand dollars. Well
some fucking chairs, I just said. We went to the courthouse,
which was lovely and I highly recommend going to a courthouse.
We went to the one in Santa Barbara.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
But you know, I was like, we get lost in
the fluff of the fantasy. There there are relationships people
going into debt for the wedding and having no consideration
about like, well, how does it set you up for
the marriage? Anyways, Now I'm going on a different tangent,
but you und to see what I'm saying. Sometimes I
said this, sometimes we don't know the elements of our life.
We look for someone to come in and tell us
what it is. So this is just continuing on with

(01:18:33):
this idea of people, don't don't look for somebody to
complete you know who you are, get curious about who
you are, advocate for who you are, and then understand
what it is that you're trying to call in to
your life. And that can be romantically, that can be platonically.
But I think the more you spend time learning about

(01:18:57):
you which you should always be doing, whether in relationship
or not. But the more you spend time learning about you,
what makes you happy, what upsets you, what you crave,
what you can do away with? What are your your
weak points? What are your strong points? What do you
trip over? What do you build? The more you can
know about you instead of relying on somebody else to

(01:19:19):
tell you who you are. I think the the the
better shot you have at building something beautiful with someone again,
whether that is romantic or platonic or you know business.
The more that you know you You don't have to
know everything, you don't have to know anything, But the
more you can know, the more you the the the

(01:19:40):
clearer the path will be. I think. Yeah. Also, Blinda
did it? That's Brianna and Blinda did it. I love
you all so much. You can find me on Instagram
as well at Brandon Kyle Goodman. You can find our
podcast at tell Me Something mess and you can join

(01:20:01):
our community on the Messy Monday's substack. When you subscribe,
you'll get weekly posts, recommendations on sex and self and
so much more. Also, I want to hear from you,
so send your topic ideas, your messy stories, your submissions
your game ideas to tell Me Something Messy at gmail
dot com. You can also call us at six six

(01:20:22):
nine sixty nine Messy. That is six six nine six
ninety six three seven seven nine. Rate, review and share
this podcast with all your HOE and aspiring HOE friends.
Really really helps the show out.

Speaker 3 (01:20:37):
All right.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
Until next time, ask about the politics of that dick
before you make it spit, make sure they eat the
kitty before they beat the kitty, before fuckation or succation communication.
And in case you haven't heard it yet, today you
are so deeply loved. I love you, Hi, Thank you
so much for listening to tell Me Something Messy. If

(01:20:59):
you all enjoy the sh send the episode to someone
else who might like it. Tell Me Something Messy was
executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins, and Yours Truly.
Our producer and editor is Vince Dejohnny. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio and The Outspoken Network, visit the iHeartRadio app
or anywhere you subscribe to your favorite shows.

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Brandon Kyle Goodman

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