Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy centralow.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central's America's.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Only source for news.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
This is The Daily Show with your host Jessy linen.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Well.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
In The Daily Show, I'm Danney Lighting.
Speaker 6 (00:37):
You've got a great show for you, can I Kamala
Harris drops her medical records, Donald Trump throws a one
man dance party, and Lewis Black tells undecided voters where
they can shove their ballots. So let's get right into
it with another installment of Indecision four. With the election
(01:00):
in just three weeks from today, the latest polls are
as close as they can possibly be without touching, which
makes it just that much hotter.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
And the candidates are doing everything they can to gain
an advantage.
Speaker 6 (01:12):
Kamala Harris just taunted Donald Trump by releasing her medical records,
and then Trump tried to turn those records against her.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
According to your doctor's report, she suffers from urticaria to
find as a rash of round red welts on the
skin that it'ch intensely, sometimes with dangerous swelling. She also
has allergic rhinitis and allergic conjunctividis a very messy and
dangerous situation. These are deeply serious conditions that clearly impact
her functioning.
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Oh my god, she has allergic rhinitis and conjunctivitis. The
medical term for hay fever is they're a priest on call.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
She doesn't have long That is how healthy Kamala Harris is.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Donald Trump is reduced to calling her allergies a very
messy and dangerous situation. Although, in fairness to Trump, in
this case a woman, it's a woman sneezing, so that
makes it more disgusting.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
A sneeze is the period of the face. Now we.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Now we all know Donald Trump suffers from epidermal fragility,
but we don't know anything more because he's never released
his medical records. Perhaps one of his minions could explain
why that's not a problem.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
I saw that Kamala Harris issued her medical records. Congratulations.
Donald Trump's health is on display for the entire country
every hour of every day. He has more stamina and
mental acumen and strength than any political figure probably in
the history of the country that I can remember.
Speaker 6 (02:57):
I'm sorry, Donald Trump has more strength stamina than any
politician in history.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
I'd put one hundred bucks on Jimmy Carter taking Trump
in a push up concept to day to day. I
don't know.
Speaker 8 (03:16):
Maybe no.
Speaker 6 (03:16):
Riz Harry Potter over here has a point. Trump doesn't
need to release his medical records because his health is
on full display every day. So let's see him whip
out that mental acumen and wag it all around this weekend.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
We also, we have many Azuasians in our room. We
have some incredible people in our room as Easians.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
I can't believe Trump is inventing new races. He doesn't
even like the old ones.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
Man.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
This is just what we needed. Another chance for Ronnie
Chang to be in a movie.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Guys in everything, everything.
Speaker 6 (04:03):
But obviously I don't want to hinge Trump's mental health
on one word at a rally.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
He also did a town hall last night, one of
the most notable.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
And honestly strange stretches of the campaign. We have seen
a Trump town hall that essentially just stopped in the middle.
Speaker 9 (04:20):
With him playing music and dancing on stage.
Speaker 10 (04:22):
She had only taken about four questions of what was
supposed to be a town hall, and instead it was
just him on stage, requesting various songs to be played
and dancing for over half an.
Speaker 9 (04:34):
Hour, dude, d.
Speaker 6 (05:04):
I literally have no idea what just happened. I don't
know if he's on edibles or if I'm on edibles.
I'm just kidding. I know I'm on edibles. But let
me just take a few minutes to walk you through
this town hall, because, trust me, it's worth it. Trump
was doing a town hall with puppy shooter Christy Nome
(05:26):
and all was well. He took four questions, and then
a couple of people passed out from the heat and
Trump stopped the Q and A to make sure everyone
was okay, which was great, although he was still very
trumpy about it.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
They're both okay, Yes, they're both.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
They're both in good shit.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
That's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Would anybody else like to faint?
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Anyone else want to pull focus with their medical emergency?
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Get it out of the way.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Calm down, Donald, No one was trying to fake trust me.
No one wants to have a meal episode in front
of Christy. No, she's just looking for an excuse to
take you to the gravel pit. She cocked her shotgun
when she heard Kamala had allergies, but while the staff
was attending to the situation, Trump decided to play some
(06:16):
music to keep up morale. And this guy, this guy
really knows what the people want.
Speaker 11 (06:22):
So we had a beautiful evening and I don't know
if they could get this song up quickly, but if
they could play Ave Maria, if you can get it justin,
let's go if you can.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
It's so beautiful. Arrh, listen to the We have nice
music with together, not bad.
Speaker 9 (06:45):
Yes, not bad.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Thank you, mister president, Thank you everybody very much.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Wow Ave Maria?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Huh?
Speaker 6 (06:54):
You sure you don't want to get the crowd hyped
with some Gregorian chants instead? All right, trumming up the crowd,
easing them into it. Then you hit him with the banger,
a different version of the same song.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
If my guys can hear me, let's listen to Pavarotti
sing Ave Maria. Can you hear that?
Speaker 9 (07:14):
They gave me the.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Ave Maria with no voice?
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Put on Pavotti singing Ave Maria, nice and loud.
Speaker 9 (07:21):
Turn it up louder. We want a little action here,
Turn it up louder.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Trump is just laving it up. Why does Trump know
so much about Ave Maria? Was it used in a
mc donald's commercial and he really loves that song, Who's
gonna tell him it's about a virgin?
Speaker 5 (08:07):
And look at poor Christy Nome.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
I gotta say, I gotta say, this is the most
I've ever related to her, because we have all been
in a situation where a guy man explains his Spotify
playlist to you.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
So that was the Pavarotti version.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Now let me play you a live version Fish did
at Red Rocks. Then poor Christy tries to get things
back on track so she can ask more questions, but
Trump was just in full DJ mode.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Let's not do any more questions. Let's just listen to music.
Let's make it into her for music. Who the hell
wants to hear questions?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Right?
Speaker 6 (08:47):
I love how everyone's always criticizing Kamala for not being
specific with her policies. Meanwhile Trump's like, no questions, no talking,
We're just gonna vibe for a while, just gonna let
my body do the talk. And if you're wondering after
forty minutes of this, did they ever actually get back
(09:10):
to answering questions?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Almost?
Speaker 4 (09:13):
So this has been an honor tonight.
Speaker 11 (09:17):
We could do another question or two if you'd like,
but probably do.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You want to do one? Do you want to let's go,
let's go.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
You know it's but it ends so beautifully.
Speaker 11 (09:30):
How about this, We'll play YMCA and we'll go home.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
Probably a good idea to shut down questions, since I'm
pretty sure the next one would have been Heiser, what
the fuck is going on?
Speaker 9 (09:52):
For more on the.
Speaker 6 (09:53):
State of this race, Let's turn to The Daily Show
Election Center with Michael Costa. Michael, how can Trump be
acting this unhinged and not be dropping in all the polls?
Speaker 9 (10:12):
It's simple. It's what we in the polling business call
the scary to funny ratio. You see, everyone can tell
that Trump is clearly losing his mind, which can be scary,
but as long as HiT's more funny than scary, then
it's fine. For example, last week, Trump lied about FEMA's
(10:33):
hurricane response, and now armed men are trying to murder
FEMA workers, terrifying. But he also jerk off dance to
Ave Maria for forty minutes, which is pretty funny, so
it balances out all the murder.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
No, that shouldn't balance out.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
He also threatened to shut down the entire entire news
outlets if he gets elected.
Speaker 9 (11:02):
Yeah, yeah, and that's so scary, right He wants to
ban networks like ABC, but then he called that reporter
George Slopedopolis, which is hilarious, So maybe we should ban ABC.
See the ratio works.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
How can voters think like that something can be funny
and scary at the same time.
Speaker 9 (11:25):
Well, actually, no, voters can only handle one feeling at
a time. We're simple creatures. It's like when I saw
baboons at the zoo this weekend. Man, they're scary, but
then you see that their butts are red, and that
is so funny.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
So Trump just gets away with all this.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
Oh no, no, it works for Biden too. Remember for a
while it seemed like he was cognitively impaired, which is
super scary for a president, right, but then he fell
off a bike, and not even a moving bike, a
parked bike, and that is undeniably hilarious. So we let
them keep the nuclear codes. Maybe he'll nuke that bike, right,
(12:10):
it's just fun. But then at the debate, Biden stopped
being funny and that threw off the ratio, and that's
when it got scary.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Okay, okay, so what if Kamala Harris told a few jokes.
Speaker 9 (12:25):
No, the ratio doesn't work for women. The voters. Voters
won't accept that.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yuck.
Speaker 6 (12:32):
Okay, But last week Trump threatened to use the military
against Americans, calling them the enemy within. I mean, surely
that's only scary.
Speaker 9 (12:41):
Yes, in our model here showed that that made him
lose the swing states and then lose the election. But
then he said the word azure Asians. So the model
now shows Trump winning the election by nine hundred electoral votes.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
No, no, all is crazy, Costa.
Speaker 9 (13:01):
It is crazy, but in a funny way. I mean, look,
I put Greenland in it. That's so funny.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
I mean, yeah, that is kind of funny.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Right, It's like, how did it get there? Anyway, I
gotta go to the hospital and get my MPAX vaccine.
I got. I got bitten by a baboon at the zoo.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
So, oh my god, Michael, that's so scary.
Speaker 9 (13:24):
It is scary until I saw my big red button.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
You're right, that's hilarious. Michael.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Hats everyone.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
Will we come back lou blacking here to Dobo Way.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
When your news story.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
Falls through the crack, Wi Black catches it for a
segment we call back in Black.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I hope you've all registered to vote because like Matt
Gates in a high school dance, the election is ominously approaching.
I for one, I for one am excited. With twenty
one days to go.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
We still have no idea who the puck is gonna win.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And that's all thanks to one berry special group of morons.
Speaker 10 (14:34):
With twenty one days until election days, the race of
the White House, it is getting tighter, and the candidates
are putting a laser focus on undecided voters.
Speaker 7 (14:42):
Undecided voters in battleground states could decide at all.
Speaker 9 (14:46):
That small sliver of undecided voters they're gonna make or
break this election.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Oh yes, undecided voters, the same people you see at
the ice cream shop asking for twelve mini spoon samples.
It's a three dollars cone, asshole? How is anyone still
undecided in this election? At this point, choosing a candidate.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Should be easy.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Look, it's like a lube salesman deciding if he should
swing by.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
P Diddy's house.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
He has all the information he needs, But after almost
two years of campaigning, this election still comes down to
winning over a few dozen Pennsylvanians with carbon monoxide poisoning.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Now, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Maybe these undecided voters aren't stupid.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Maybe they have a good reason for being idiots.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Has anyone asked them what the hang up is?
Speaker 9 (15:49):
I just haven't.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
I haven't seen enough of it yet. I need to
pick closer attention and kind of do more independent research.
Speaker 9 (15:58):
I just need to do my own research.
Speaker 12 (16:00):
Have to do more research.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Oh good god, they all have the same hair.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Go ahead, do your own research.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Hopefully the library will let you huff paint inside.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
What are you researching exactly?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We've known these candidates forever, one of them who spent
the past four years as vice president and the other
who's spent the past forty years as the worst person
in America? What is left for you to learn about them?
(16:39):
How they load a dishwasher. But I still have hope
that some of you undecided voters will eventually make a choice.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Something has to force your hand.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
We've just learned that Taylor Swift hasn'dors Kamala Harris. Okay, well,
then will you vote for Kamala Harris because of Taylor
Swift's endorsement? Anybody you would? Yeah, Julian ewit, I'll.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Have a musician, I mean, yeah, you're a musician.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
You have to.
Speaker 9 (17:14):
I'm gonna send it back to you guys in the CEO.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Well, even the reporter is like, can I please go
cover a mass shooting?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
This is depressing.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Forget the economy or abortion or immigration. He wants to
vote with his fellow musicians. Don't tell him about kid
Rock or his head will explode and there'll be nothing everywhere.
I for one, am grateful for all these focused groups
of undecided voters. They give us insight into the complex
(17:53):
minds of America's most powerful people.
Speaker 12 (17:56):
Oh, it is very important that we have expertise when
making these decisions and policy right, and so him bringing
the specifics to say that we need the expertise making
these decisions. I believe that was very important.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
See, even that vampire magician agrees expertise matters, and he
should know. He's voted in the last thousand elections.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
And for his.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Final trick, he made my hope for gen Z disappear.
But the good news is we don't have to listen
to these idiots at all, because there's still another option.
Speaker 9 (18:43):
I don't know, it still could change. There's still some
time left. You never know.
Speaker 7 (18:46):
Ope, So if I don't have a decision, yeah, I
probably just won't vote.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Finally, someone talking sense.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I'm tired of my vote being canceled out by someone
who's IQ's score only makes sense in Celsius. So for
all you undecided voters, I have a special message.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I'm Lewis Black, beloved comedian really and the only Daily
Show employee who works less than John Stewart. I want
to talk to you today about democracy. It's a big responsibility,
(19:32):
a sacred right, and maybe not for everyone because if
you're waiting for a Kardashian to tell you who to
vote for, go.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Ahead and sit this one out.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Sure people have fought and died for your right to vote,
but when those guys were lifting the flag over Iwujima,
they weren't saying, come on, fellas, let's do this so
someday a guy can fill out a.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Ballot so the make the shape of a penis.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
If you are undecided come election day, do the right thing.
Don't get out the vote, set out the vote, and
just focus on picking out that ice cream. Might I
recommend Rocky road Yum does the.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
Block everyone well.
Speaker 6 (20:41):
My guest Life is a voting right activist, host of
Assembly Required, and best selling author whose latest children's book
is called Stacy Speaks Up. Please welcome Stacy Abram.
Speaker 5 (21:10):
Fine, what pleasure it is to have you on. I
am so happy that you're here.
Speaker 8 (21:16):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
Of course, of course, my pleasure, our pleasure. You are
nearly a powerful force in Georgia politics. You had two
historic runs. You're a large part for why Georgia flipped
blue in twenty twenty. It feels like there's so much
(21:41):
progress that's being made, and yet here we are again
coming up on election on the election, and it's mandated
that ballots must be hand counted in Georgia.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
Is it as up as it sounds?
Speaker 8 (21:56):
Yes, So let's great.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Well that's all the time we have.
Speaker 13 (22:01):
Okay, So I've got two bits of good ish kind
of news.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
Okay.
Speaker 13 (22:06):
So number one, so when they say hand count, what
they mean is count the ballots, not the votes. So
they're physically requiring each precinct to physically count each ballot.
We've got about five and a half million voters.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Oh, is that all?
Speaker 8 (22:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (22:19):
And so it's going to take some time. So the
intend is to create chaos in the system. So when
people hear, oh, well, why shouldn't you hand count the vote.
They're not counting the vote, they're counting the physical ballots.
But today Robert McBurney, one of the judges, he ruled
that this was an ethical and irresponsible and that they
can't do all of the things they want to do. However,
(22:40):
what we have to recognize is that we have a
state Supreme Court that is packed with people who are
unfortunately sometimes like minded with the people making the rules
that we.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
Are not too happy about.
Speaker 13 (22:51):
And so what we need to watch is not what
they're doing, but what we do about it. We can't
get sucked into the mailstream of crazy. We've got to
go around the mailstrom to the ballot box and have
so many of us turn in our ballots that it
doesn't really matter. We're still fight the fight, but we
cannot let them convince us not to get out.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
Okay, you've been very focused on voter suppression, and you
define voter suppression as when as state or state actors
interfere with the three parts of voting.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Can you walk us through that a little bit?
Speaker 8 (23:29):
I can, and thank you for remembering.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
I did my homework.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
You're good.
Speaker 13 (23:33):
So it's can you register and stay on the rolls?
So can you register? And then can they take you off?
So can you register and stay on the roles is?
One second is can you cast your ballot? Do they
have hoops and hurdles and id requirements that can't possibly
me met or that are really difficult to meet? And
then does your ballot actually get counted? Meaning do they
throw out your ballot because the postmark is smudged, or
(23:55):
because you can't match your signature, or in this case
in Georgia, because the handcount takes so long that we
miss the deadline for our votes to actually be counted.
So voter suppression tends to be People think of it
in one way, but it's three different capacities and they
often come together for an evil triad. Our job is
to pay attention to all three and not get distracted
(24:16):
by just one, but to do our best to push
back against all of them.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
And this isn't just.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
You're working on this, not only in Georgia, this is
obviously happening on a national level. What advice would you
give voters at this point?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
What can be done?
Speaker 6 (24:37):
How can voters be sure that their vote is counted?
Speaker 8 (24:40):
First show up?
Speaker 13 (24:41):
And it sounds it sounds easy, but too often the
reason they put these hurdles in place is to convince
us it's not worth it. The ministerial and administrative process
becomes so complicated that just not voting seems like an
easier choice than showing up.
Speaker 8 (24:56):
And we can't let them do this. It's the nature.
Speaker 13 (24:59):
It's like letting the d convince you not to get
your license because you have to stand in line for
a really, really long time.
Speaker 8 (25:04):
Don't let them win, don't let the bad guys get you.
So show up. But the other pieces don't vote alone.
Speaker 13 (25:09):
Too often we think of voting as a personal issue,
but we are part of a system. We're part of
a democracy. We need to take people with us, and
we need to explain what we've learned. We need to
tell people here's why your vote matters. Because so many
people think, well, my vote won't count. Yes, Georgia was
decided by fewer than twelve thousand votes in a state
of eleven million people.
Speaker 8 (25:32):
It counts. It counts more than you can imagine.
Speaker 13 (25:35):
Please God, vote, not vote.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
I do want to talk about your book, Congratulations. This
is such a beautiful children's book. Stacy speaks up. I
read this to my son the other night. He was riveted.
It's so inspiring. Why focus on a children's book? Have
you given up on adults?
Speaker 8 (26:02):
Look?
Speaker 13 (26:02):
I believe in doing what I can, but starting as
early as possible. So yes, I've got legal thrillers, but
I kill a lot of people in those books.
Speaker 8 (26:09):
So I go back.
Speaker 13 (26:10):
Early and try to get the ones young so they
can fix the stuff we're about to break.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Yes, Oh, great tactic. Great tactic.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
The story is about a young Stacy who discovers that
a friend of hers can't afford to buy lunch, and
she decides to do something about it, speak up. And
it's really like this beautiful, grassroots inspiring story of how
children can get involved at even an early age.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
What inspired you to write this?
Speaker 13 (26:37):
I wanted to tell a story about advocacy and empathy. Empathy,
how do you feel the pain of someone else? And
then advocacy what do you do about it? But center
it around and experience. It is universal to childhood, which
is school lunch. But it's also because I live in
a state that is refusing to offer summer lunches, refusing
federal dollars. And it's not the only state, but Georgia's
(26:59):
governor has refuse to accept taxpayer dollars that have already
been paid into the system. Children going hungry is getting
worse in this country, not better. And being able to
focus on the issue not only of empathy and advocacy,
but making sure that we have the strongest, healthiest children
possible is incredibly important to me, and that's why Stacy
speaks up for me. Was an opportunity to tell a
(27:19):
fun story about little Stacy who thinks that she can
write her way out of the problem, and then she
realizes she's going to have to do something more, her
friends coming together to help her, and they get to
enjoy something that I like to call taco pizza Friday.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
I love this idea by anyway, thank you.
Speaker 13 (27:35):
It's a childhood dream manifest in this book. Same but
giving kids the sense that they too have the capacity.
They're seeing a lot of dangerous things, They're seeing a
lot of hard things. Your son is watching a world
that feels overwhelming, and I wanted a book that acknowledges
how they feel and tells them that there's something they
can do about it, and using a story that's accessible,
(27:57):
which is every one of us knows about lunch, we
know about hunger, and we need to think about the
children who don't get to solve that hunger problem and
see what we can do to help them.
Speaker 6 (28:13):
Thank you so much, Thank you for all of the
work that you do every day. I am so grateful
for all that you do. Thank you, and go out
and get this book. It is so sweet. Stacy speaks up.
It's available now, Stacy abrams everyone.
Speaker 13 (28:30):
Everything.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
Hey, Frank, we'll be right back after then.
Speaker 7 (28:43):
That those jokes, but tonight.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Now here Now your moment of.
Speaker 11 (28:48):
We're gonna go, we're gonna vote, we're gonna have a
good time, we're gonna make our country get this is
gonna be. I want this to be a really important evening.
And those two people that went down our patriots and
we love them. Yeah, because of them, we ended up
with some good music, right right.
Speaker 9 (29:05):
Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
You get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on
Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus.
Speaker 8 (29:25):
Paramount Podcasts