The Eds: Edwin Returns

Edwin is reunited with Eddie to share what it’s been like since Teddi’s surgery. 

Edwin opens up about when and where he was when he got the news and how he’s emotionally dealing with this difficult time. 

Plus, Edwin reveals how their relationship has changed. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the EDS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Ado Yave.
Welcome back to the EDS podcast. My name is Eddie
and we have our co hosts, dear friend Edwin back
on the mic.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hey, Eddie, it's good to be back.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
I missed it too. It was it was. I gotta say,
it was a fun podcast that I did without you,
but it wasn't the same, you know. It's it's always
so much fun having you on here and just getting
your perspective and talking and you know, today I am
really just want to get an update on what's going
on with you there. I can't imagine how much you

(00:39):
know is going on with you, between your companies and
your family, your health, I can't even imagine. So today's
podcast is going to be about Edwin coming back and
you know, just sharing his challenges with what's going on.
If you don't know what's going on, you're gonna find out.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
So there we go.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
All right, awesome, Well a lot has changed since we
last talked. And first off, how are you?

Speaker 2 (01:07):
How are you doing? I'm doing all right considering right,
it's been quite the six months. I was just thinking
about it. It's been yeah, six months now of a
little bit of a dark value that I'm going through.
But yeah, yeah, it's just it's funny because it's it's
not just in in my personal life. It's been with

(01:30):
you know, with my business and you know, just when
it rains, it pours. But again, you just kind of
you've got to continue to just push forward.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, let's let's go back a little bit.
I mean, I I know a little bit about what's
going on, but I don't know, you know, what you
can and cannot share. So let's let's let's start where
you know, you found out that Teddy has tumors in

(02:01):
her head. And gosh, it feels like it was years
ago because it's just happening so fast and I know
that she's still struggling with it. But yeah, tell me
take us back to when it all happened and you've
got the news, you know that she had tumors in
her head.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, it was interesting because I had just it was
two days after the super Bowl and I just had
this like epic super Bowl party and I was thinking
to myself, like I forgot how much I used to
love to entertain and I just had a super Bowl party.
Then two weeks after before that, I had like an
NFC championship party. You know, I'm a big football fan. Yeah,
and I'm sort of getting used to this lifestyle that

(02:42):
I'm now living, right, And then two days later I
get a call. So two days after Super Bowl, I
get a call from Teddy basically saying that she couldn't
see wow. And I immediately got frightened because she had
been complaining about having headaches for the last two weeks

(03:03):
and I kept telling her, you should get this thing
checked out. And the reason I was concerned was a
good friend of mine had a brain aneurism and he
had the same symptoms where just a bad headache, migraines.
He never had migraines and same altenies. She never had,
like a migraine headache. And then all of a sudden

(03:24):
her she's got these migraines that she's had for a
while now. And then I didn't tell her this, but
in the back of my mind was, well, what if
that things are tumor and that's why she's got like
these big headaches. But of course I didn't say that,
and I just said, hey, you should go get checked.
You should go get checked. So when she called and said,
I couldn't see. Now. The first thing I'm thinking is, Okay,

(03:46):
it's either a tumor or it's a maybe it's this
brain aneurysm. So I just finished. I was on a
sales call. We do a national sales call for the company,
for my company. I just literally hung up to fall
the zoom call and I get a call from her.
And I was staying at at a place in Beverly
Hills that I stay at at my friend's house, and

(04:09):
I immediately just hopped on the car and came to
and see, you know, picked her up. Well. I was
talking to her at the time, and I was trying
to get info to find out kind of exactly what
was going on, And luckily a friend of mine who's
a doctor, sort of guided Teddy and I and she
told us what to do, which was to get her

(04:31):
to an emergency place that actually had a CT scan.
It's an emergency hospital where they could immediately do a
CT scan and see what was going on with the brain.
Because normally, when you can't see like that and there's
that much pain, there's got to be something there, and
we want we wanted to make sure that that there
wasn't a brain aneurysm. But and then what we ended

(04:53):
up finding once we did the CT scan was obviously
she had these tumors in her head. And then like buzzwords,
you got to say, because most of the time they
don't want to give you a CT scan just like that.
But yeah, she couldn't see it. She was in a
lot of pain. And then when I found her, she
was actually in the in her sofa laying down because
she couldn't walk. Wow, and uh yeah at that point,

(05:17):
just took her straight to the hospital and trying to
remain calm. You know, you can't.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Did the kids see that?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
They did it? So look good? Did it? And you know, Teddy,
she can take a lot of pain. She's she definitely
has a tolerance for pain. And you know with with
her horseback riding backgrounding and there's time she's falling and
she just she just if she says she's hurt, because
she must be in a lot of pain. So the
fact that she couldn't take the pain anymore was concerning

(05:45):
because again I know that she just wouldn't. She's not
one to just say she's hurt if she's not.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
So yeah, I could sense that and I do believe
my her and my wife have that in common. Yeah,
they have a very high pain tolerance. Although I think
my wife has gotten to the point in her in
her life that she goes to the hospital or urging care,
you know, for almost anything that that is really out

(06:11):
of the ordinary for her, like out of the pain threshold.
And even though I had an issue with my heart,
you know, I've always been one that unless my arm
has fallen off, I'm not going to the hospital if
it's just a bruise, cut or or even a headache.
But a headache that last two weeks is very concerning. Yes,

(06:35):
she's never had one, right, Yeah, if you're healthy and
you get these, Now, I have experienced something like that.
I've never had headaches ever in my life. And I
when we got the house in Big Bear, I got twice.
I got these massive headaches which I can only imagine
were like like I don't know what they were, but

(06:58):
they were so painful. I had to get out of
bed and walk around, and you know, think, what the
hell am I going to do? Am I gotta go
to the hospital for a headache? And I considered the elevation.
I considered I didn't hydrate enough, and sure enough, you know,
I got through it. I didn't take anything, and the
very next day I was fine. But it was scary.
It was scary to feel that level of pain and

(07:20):
a headache that you know, if you've never experienced headaches,
it's a big red flag.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, and especially when when it's so bad that you
can't even see anymore.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
So, oh, I can't even imagine. So it's my understanding
that they have they found four tumors, right or yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
Well, so when we when she had the surgery done
at the emergency clinic or not clinic but hospital that
we were at, Yeah, we they basically came down. The
doctor came down and was like, this isn't good. And
then right when he said this isn't good, I'm like, shit,
they're too much. And sure enough, we didn't know how

(08:03):
many tumors at the time, but they just said we
had to go to Cedars and go for an emergency
more get more scans, I guess. And then I think
the next day was when she had to have emergency.
That's when she had her surgery right away. Yeah, they

(08:24):
had to be right away. Yeah, wow, that was Tuesday.
So next day I want to say at three pm
the next day she went in for surgery. No, that's
that's when we found out the tumors. It was I
think it was four. I mean, I can't even remember now,
but I think it was four that they surgically removed,

(08:45):
and then there was four that we're gonna remain there
that they were just going to treat with radiation. But
before were the size of a plumb.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Wow. Yeah, gosh, I can't even imagine that.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, no, it was it was, uh, well, went through.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Your head when you found out that she had tumors
of size plumbs in her head? And what were your
first thoughts?

Speaker 2 (09:10):
You know, I think, you know, it's interesting you I
think I went on like fight or flight mode. Yeah,
flight or fight mode or whatever that's called it where
it just I just think I think the emotion, you know,
when I always like, I've always been good at handling pressure,

(09:31):
handling bad news. I don't know if that stemmed from
you know, being a kid and stuff, because you know,
when when our home would get raided by law enforcement,
I remember that. You know, usually when that happens, they
you know, they flip your house upside down. They know
everybody's on the floor, they're handcuffing people, and I remember, uh,

(09:53):
my mom would always say, are you okay? And she'd
always came out and you know, when you're a kid,
they can't handcuff you. So we're just kind of sitting
and they're watching, and I remember just having to be
so calm for my mom because I didn't want her
to feel like I was in any kind of pain
where I was worried. And I don't know if it
was that, because I've tried to kind of think back

(10:15):
and reflect, like how come I when the pressure is on,
I just have this calmness about me that just kind
of where like the emotion kind of goes away and
I just focus on like, Okay, we just need to
get things done, we need to get complete stuff. And
that's always been how I've dealt with it, you know,

(10:40):
the way I've always cured sort of anxiety, worry, frustration
is really by just going to work on getting things done,
like things that I need to do, like complete task.
And it's kind of the way I look at it.
So the first thing that came to me was, all right,
I gotta I gotta make sure the family is taken
care of. I got to make sure that I transfer

(11:03):
certainty to the kids, certain confidence to the kids, and
I just started getting done, getting things done that I
know I needed to do, with work, with the family,
with work, and just things like that. So that I've
noticed has always helped me with that anxiety part. I think,

(11:25):
at least for me, when I just sit back and
think and not get things, when I don't do the
things that I'm supposed to get done, then that's when
the mind sort of takes over and you get a
lot of thoughts in your head. Yeah, crazy, crazy thoughts, right. So,

(11:46):
so I've always loved taking action towards whatever that worry is,
whatever that frustration is. That what I've noticed is always
when you take action towards it, it's always been the
cure for me. Versus the opposite of that is you
let that fear paralyze you. That fear then becomes procrastination,
and then it becomes paranoia where because you're not doing anything,

(12:09):
you're just in your head and you're never gonna overthink
good thoughts, but you will always overthink bad thoughts.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
And you might even act on them, and you might
even act on those bad dots.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
So you know, I think for me again, I think
it was just at that moment, it was kind of
fight or flight mode, and the I don't think I
processed it. It was just Okay, what do we do?
What do we need to do next? How can we
get Teddy feeling confident? How can we get her feeling

(12:41):
you know, like everything's going to be all right? That
was sort of my first thought, is getting her in
a good place and then and then getting the kids
in a good place.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Well, I'm sure the listeners would appreciate hearing about this,
pardon and I know I witnessed it. But the fact
that you guys were going through some real turmoil in
your relationships and you just swept out of aside and
stepped up and took care of her and and and
you know, got her to the right people and you're

(13:13):
just you're there for her. That says a lot about you, bro.
I mean, that's that's a big step up and a
big ass But yeah, I know, deep down inside it's
it's because this is the woman that you love and
and it's the mother of your children. But how did
you process that?

Speaker 2 (13:33):
You know, people think that's hard, but for me, that
was just that's just what I do, like it's it's
no matter what, I will always loved Teddy and she's Yeah,
she's been a big part of my life. And I
just I like taking care of people, like I like,
it's just what I what I do. So it wasn't
it wasn't even like a question a question it was

(13:55):
it was it was reflexive. Yeah. And the thing is, again,
was getting her to a point where she felt confident,
she felt like she wasn't alone, she felt like she mattered. Yeah,
And that was my thing is I wanted to because
you know, I think a big part of dealing with

(14:16):
this situation is feeling confident, feeling like you're not alone.
And I think her her friends all stepped up, her
family all stepped up, and it helped me a lot.
You know, I wouldn't have been able to do what
I did if it wasn't for her friends and her family.

(14:38):
I think one of the things that messes you with
that that just messes with you quite a bit. As
far as not being able to function a sleep, Yeah,
and her friends stepped up and they they would spend
the night with her. So I think I did that
the first two nights, which that was rough. Because then

(14:59):
you can't really at least for me, I can't function
without sleep, right, And her her friends all took turns
because she was I want to say, it was a
good ten fourteen days. Yeah, that she was. She was
ten days in the ICU for sure. So I was always.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Talking about the hospital, like staying at the hospital.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Yeah, staying at the hospital. So every night there, her
friends would step up and they would take turns on
who would spend the night there.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yeah, which again that was huge.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, And you know, at the end of the day,
I think when when stuff like that happens, you don't
want to feel alone, and you want to feel like
you matter and you want to feel like there's people
rooting for you. And Teddy's friends and family did that.
So I'm so grateful to all of you guys. I know,
you guys went a couple of times, and you know
that meant everything for her. Yeah. Yeah, her friends and

(15:54):
her and her dad, her whole family came down. So
again it was it was good to see that kind
of support. And yeah, that allowed me also to take
care of the kids, right, because the kids were back
at home and.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Stuff, so there's just one of you.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, So when that happened, I would stay home with
the kids and make sure they were confident and again
make sure that they knew that and I was upfront
with them, what's what was going on?

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah, Okay, how did they take it?

Speaker 2 (16:25):
They got scared, obviously, they were concerned, But I tried
my best to again not sugarcoat it too much, let
them know, Hey, there are some risks that come with us.
You know, I called it the way it was. It's like, hey,
there's some tumors that your mom has in her brain. Wow,
And I said, it sounds worse than what it is.

(16:48):
But this is what I think is, this is what
we think is going to happen. This is sort of
how we're going to deal with it, and this is
why I'm confident that she's going to make it through. Yeah,
And we did it that way just because we knew
that it's better to be direct with them that they
than them find out online or on the internet or somewhere.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
So.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, but they've been they've been strong. You know, kids
are resilient. They are, and I've been very impressed with them.
They you know, they've still been doing great in school.
They've been doing great in the sports. I've tried to
just keep it consistent with them, so keeping a normal life, yeah,
have them continue to do what they've always done. Yeah, So,

(17:32):
and that's what we've been doing.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
So I want to say that dust has settled since
the surgery, but I do understand that there's more going on.
So asking you, like, where are you at now, I mean,
are you still in fight or flight or has it
dust settled? Or are we back in crisis mode? How

(18:02):
she doing?

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, she's doing great. I mean she's progressing. So that's
that's what we try to focus on, is just the
progress and not so much the perfection of it. We
know there's going to be setbacks, you know. The first
two weeks were the first three weeks were all about
post surgery because that surgery was basically two surgeries in
one and the recovery on time. The recovery for that

(18:29):
was a tough one. So that was sort of the
first barrier challenge that we had to get through, and
then that took about three weeks. And then the second
challenge now is the treatment because then she starts treatment
and then we got to make sure to see that
treatment works. But then there's also the side effects of
the treatment, and that she took rather well the treatments

(18:54):
the first week, and then the second week, you know,
she still would and I don't even know how she
did it, but she she started horseback riding again and
I think she got first placed the first time. She
goes out there and competes again. And then she was
going she's resilient. Yeah, And then she was going to
all the hard workouts that I'd like to go to,

(19:16):
and she was doing them with me. You know, obviously
not at one hundred percent, but she was there, you know,
moving her body and and and trying and and and
again they're not easy workouts, but yet she was there
doing them. So so that was going well. And then
the second week, uh, it started hitting her a little more,

(19:36):
the radiation started kicking a little more. Yeah, and so yeah,
so she's continuing to fight and uh and yeah, she's
you know, progressing as much as she can be right now.
But now we got to wait to see if the
treatment works.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
So right, how has it affected your relationship in a
good or bad way way? I mean going through this together,
because it sounds like when she's working out with you
and spending time with you, it's like things are back
to normal, right, but yeah, there's so much going on

(20:14):
feeling wise. Are you guys still connected, did you reconnect
or is it just been like we're going to get
through this and that's it.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah. I think it's just been we're going to get
through this right now, and I mean that's the first thing,
is just making sure that we take care of this first,
and and all that other stuff. You know, we'll see
what happens with time, but you know, right now, it's
just more of like, how do we take care of you?

(20:44):
And how how can we get you back to normal
as fast as possible, and you know that other stuff.
You know, we'll figure itself out, you know.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, So you guys, are you guys spending more time
together or is it just because she needs so much
so much help right now that you're spending time with her, Like.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yeah, it were what there's not much time we can spend, uh,
Like it's you know, I'm still having to go to
work and she's still working as you know. Yeah, and
then we got the kids and stuff, so it's not
like we can really work on that side of it yet.

(21:33):
But we're just you know, I'm home now most of
the time, So you know, we were doing nesting, yeah,
which was basically nesting is basically when you have whoever
has custody the kids gets to stay at the main house,
whoever doesn't at that time has to move out. Okay,

(21:53):
So that's what we were doing. So whenever's whenever it
was my time to be with the kids, I'd stay
at our main house. Yeah, and then when it was
her time to have the kids, then I'd move out
and go to the other house. Now I'm back to
basically staying here in ninety She's staying one hundred percent
of the time here now, okay, and then I'll stay
in ninety percent of the time here, and then you know,

(22:16):
whenever our living housekeepers here, then I'll stay at another
place for a bit. But I typically I'm staying ninety
percent of the time. So maybe one or two days
out of the week I'm not at the house, but
the other days I'm here. So and a big part
of that too is I want I want the kids
to see me here as well, so again to kind

(22:39):
of transfer that confidence and certainty that yeah, because sometimes
you know, mom, if they feel Mom is sick, they
might they don't feel as comfortable. Right, What if mom
doesn't can't get up and help me out in the
middle of the night, is what Cruz says, right, So
that's another reason why I like to stay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
So I have an interesting question, you know, being public
figures and you know, having wives that are celebrities, I
would imagine that this would be a time where you
just want ultimate privacy. Do you agree or how do
you deal with that? You know, how do you deal
with being the public guye and seeing all these tabloids

(23:23):
and all these news about what's going on with your
wife and it's like, this is private shit? Why is
it out there? Kind of thing that that's my thought, right.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, yeah, I don't look at it. I haven't looked
at it. I probably looked at it more when we
were going through our divorce. This I haven't had time
to look at it period, and frankly, I just don't
want to even be reminded of it. And then, you know,
as far as like dealing with out in the public,
I've tried to just stay as low key as possible. Yeah,

(23:55):
even before this happened, I was trying to be low key.
You know, there's restaurants you can go to that if
if you want to get noticed and you want the
paparazzi to get you, you can go to I just
I already know which those places are. So I just
try to keep it low key and just not even
deal with it.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Well, even on my end, not even my wife, but
I have a lot of fans that I chat with
on Instagram, and I can't tell you how many people
have been, you know, praying, sending prayers for Teddy and you,
and I's been hoping, yeah, that you guys are going
to make it through this, and and some of them

(24:32):
ask me like, how is she doing? What's going on?
I'm like, it's not my place, you know, Frankly, I
don't know what's going on because I'm I don't know,
you know. I just I think it's such a private matter.
I mean, my wife is all about it because she's
she was so devastated when this happened, and she's feeling

(24:53):
better now, but but she The only other time I've
ever seen my wife feel this way and and so
overwhelmed and kind of just frozen is when when she
was going through her divorce and the X was trying
to take the kids away and doing everything you could
and when we ended up losing her eldest daughter to

(25:15):
him to his lives and manipulation, that's when she kind
of went into kind of like froze, like just coulmfunction.
And this is the only other thing.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
That paralyzation that you know, fear gives you through responses
to the future. It paralyzes you, right, it's like you frege.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
The procrastination comes next, where you know you got to move,
but you're still frozen. Yeah, and then the paranoia comes next,
which is that's all the thoughts in your head and
that's what gets you in that low frequency state. And
again again, if you think about anytime you're overthinking stuff,
it's always bad things. You never overthink good stuff. And

(25:55):
it's why I think it's so important to have clarity,
because clarity, I think gives you confidence. When you have clarity,
you don't have time to think, yeah, because you know
exactly what you need to do. And because of that,
everything's reflexive. You're not in your head. You're just like,
all right, I got to do this, this, this, this, this,
and every time you get these things done, you kind

(26:16):
of fuel yourself with enthusiasm, right, Yeah, Hey, good and
that's why I've always said the for me, at least,
the cure to anxiety, to worry, to frustration has always
been taking action towards those things that I know that
are worrying me, right, yeah, And that's kind of the
approach I've I've taken, you know, and I've learned a

(26:40):
lot about you know, what's going on with Teddy as well.
Like I never thought I was gonna learn that much
about cancer, but I've had to. What you learn, I
just like the way the tumors were working, you know,
the expectancy of it, the chances of survival, the difference

(27:00):
between the melanoma type tumor versus like your traditional type tumor.
You know what immunotherapy is with radiation all that.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
You know, what is immunotherapy? I don't know, I've never
heard of that until so.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah. So immunotherapy, my understanding is that it attacks cancers,
It attacks potential cancer cells, and it specifically attacks them,
whereas chemotherapy just attacks all of your cells. Right, So, immunotherapy,
because it's specific with which ones, it doesn't hit you

(27:41):
as bad as chemotherapy, but it also prevents potential tumors
to not come out because it's attacking them before they
come out. So not only does it help with the
existing tumors, but it will also help you with potential
ones that might come out later. So interesting. And what

(28:04):
I also learned about immunia therapy is that it actually
was It's been around since like the eighties, but then
it got banned from the US because don't quote me
on this, but I think it was because of AIDS,
and then they just brought it back I think in
twenty fifteen, and it's still banned, but only for certain

(28:26):
type of cancers they allow it, So milanoma being one of.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Them, right, that's interesting. Yeah, is she going through radiation
as well?

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, she's going through radiation as well, So the radiation
will help with the brain, the immunotherapy will help with
the two that she has in the lungs, and then
it also helps with potential future ones that will come out. Yeah.
What a fight, at least that's my understanding of it.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
I can't even imagine what that'd be like. And I
can't even imagine what it'd be like being in your
shoes and you know, having to deal with that situation,
especially with somebody who you deep down inside truly love
you know, not just as.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
I was just going to say, and again it's it's
the friends. The family have just steps up, have stepped
up so much that it has allowed me to still
do the things that I need to do to work
on myself, right, because you can't if you can't help yourself,
you can't help anybody.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
Else, right, So I always said that.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
So like, you know, I like I still do my
workouts every morning, like that's sort of a non negotiable
for me. You know, my gratitude exercise in the morning,
that's a non negotiable for me as well. You know,
I'm still I'm getting my sleep, you know, all those
things that you sort of need to be functioning at

(29:59):
a at a high see, yeah, at a high level.
So at least for me, that's that those are I'd
still been able to do kind of those things and
and still have a little time for me where you
have not you know, you have you find a way
to have a little fun, right Yeah, watching a game
here and there, you know, going to dinner with a

(30:21):
friend here and there.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Spending time with the kids, doing that a lot of that.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Yeah, yeah, time with the kids, you know, one of
the things that's interesting, U huh. Ironically, this moment in
my life, it's brought me a lot of peace, really,
And the reason it's brought me a lot of peace
is it's I don't know forced is the right word,
but it's it's forced me to be more present. And

(30:50):
I think in the past, I was always in the
future because I was always in the future where you
can't control the future. So there's there's a part of
your piece that gets robbed, right, because the only time,
if you think about it, the only time you could
have peace is in the present because you don't know

(31:12):
what's going to happen in the future. Right. So I'm
here with you now, but I'm thinking about me having
what I have to do on a Saturday. I'm here
with you, but I don't really have peace because I'm
thinking about tomorrow, right. And what I realized is just
these last six months, I've been able to be more
present because I realized there's a lot of things that

(31:34):
I thought mattered that don't really matter. And all these
things that I thought we're going to be the end
of the world aren't the end of the world. You know.
I used to think I can't drive my kids to
school because I have to do this, this, this, this,
and I got to finish this project. I got to
finish that project. And when all this thing started six
months ago, I had to take the kids to school

(31:55):
and I had to be present. And then I thought
to myself, if everything fall because of that, who cares?
Oh well, and I let it go. And the next
thing I know, I'm like, wait, it didn't fall apart.
I could actually do this, and you know what, it
wasn't that hard. It was just yeah, and it was
I enjoyed it. So I've been more present with just

(32:17):
everything that I'm doing now, and that's that's brought me
a lot of peace, if that makes any sense.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
One and a lot.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Of that has come because again it goes back to
just it's probably what Tama was feeling, right. It's just
when someone that close to you is going through what
they're going through, you realize again that just all these
things that you think matter don't really matter. So let
me just put my phone down for three hours, let

(32:47):
me focus on what I'm doing right now in this moment.
And you know what, if something happens in the next
three hours and I can't get to my phone because
of work. So what.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
I saw a quote on social media recently and I
reposted it.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
It was, you.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Have a thousand problems until you get sick, and then
you have one problem, and it's very eye opening. It
kind of opened up my eyes a ton when it
happened to me. I never thought it would ever, especially
a health scare like this. Whatever happen to me, but
it opened up my eyes. And like you said, I

(33:33):
was very present and really diligent about learning as much
as I could about the disease I was dealing with.
And I can't emphasize enough how rewarding or how comforting
it is to have your significant other there for you

(33:54):
at the hospital, going to the doctors and almost translating
what the doctor is saying, because you know when, like
you said, I'm there, but I'm thinking, am I going
to be?

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Okay? Am I?

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I'm thinking, you know, ten years from now, where am
I going to be? So I'm listening to maybe a
quarter of what the doctor is saying. And when we
get home, my wife's like, did you hear what the
doctor said? He said so and so and so, And
I'm like, I don't remember him saying that, you know,
because my head was somewhere else. Yeah, So to have
somebody you know, support me like that and and bring

(34:30):
clarity to what, you know, the path I need to
take to beat this disease is it's priceless. I mean,
I mean it. I commend you for being there for
her and you know, being the support that she needs.
And how lucky is she to have such wonderful friends
and family to be there as well and take that

(34:51):
load off of you, but maybe even not even take
a load off of you, but contribute to her confidence
and her positivity that she's going to get through this,
because I see that in her. I mean every time
Tamra comes and you know, she's crying about it and
she's feeling sad about it, like she's going to be okay.
I there's something about Teddy. I see that she's really
a strong warrior, and I think she's going to be okay.

(35:14):
But I don't know any other way, you know, to
help my wife, or any other way to think but positive,
you know. And I just wish you, guys well for
you know, the getting through this, and you know, I
think it would make your relationship stronger, you know, wherever
that goes, you know, even if you're just friends. I

(35:35):
think it'll make that relationship stronger between you guys and
the family.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah, well, I think you hit the name on the
head in regards to just being positive with stuff. You know,
it takes the same amount of mental energy to focus
on success than it does on failures. So you know,
for me, I think a big part of getting through
this has just been focusing on the positive, you know,
nicety percent. I've always said this, ninety percent of winning

(36:03):
in life is just being positive. And you know, the
faith fear right projection of the most positive thing for
the future, of fear, projection of the worst possible thing
for the future. I've always chosen to just focus on
on the faith part and just controlling what you can
control and leaving all that stuff that you can't control.

(36:25):
That's where your faith comes in and you lean on faith.
And you know, I can't focus on Teddy maybe not
making it like I can't control that, right, I can
only focus on what I can't control, and that's also
given me peace. Right, it's we can focus on making

(36:45):
sure that she gets the best treatments that you know,
she is around and she's happy, Like, that's what we
can control. All that other stuff. You know, you just
have faith that it's going to work itself out and
you don't really think about it. Like if I focus

(37:06):
on that, then I'm just doing myself a disservice, which
then I'll do my kids disservice. So I just got
to again focus on on the positive and not and
then and that's where the piece comes in as well.
And take it day by day, focus on today, focus
on the progress that you're making, and that that alone

(37:28):
would give you the piece. And man, I can't I
can't stress enough the importance of just cultivating gratitude every morning,
you know, you know, bitterness requires you to live in
the past. Hope requires you to live in the future.
The beautiful thing about gratitude is not only does it

(37:48):
allow you to enjoy the present, but it allows you
to look forward to the future. But if you can
focus on the present, that that's where that piece comes in.
And that was the big revelation for me last six months,
is that is just being more present is giving me
so much peace. I've been in so much peace, yet
I'm going through like probably the darkest valley of my life,
which is again ironic, but you know, it's that's sometimes

(38:14):
when you go through these moments, you get revelations like that.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
So yeah, that's actually wonderful advice for anybody that you
know might be experiencing something like this with their significant
other or even a friend or you know. It's a
tough place to be man, and I wish you guys,
you know, all the best and praying for you guys

(38:39):
every day and thinking about you all the time.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
I was gonna say one thing about gratitude is it
it won't change your current situation, but it does change
your heart, right, And when you have gratitude in your heart,
you can't be worried, you can't be angry. You basically
have love, joy, peace, you know, patient and goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness,

(39:04):
and self control in your heart. And that's the importance
of that gratitude and a simple exercise for anybody that
wants to cultivate that in the morning. I do it
all the time. Is seven questions I asked myself. A
mentor mind taught me this is what am I happy about? Right?

(39:25):
What am I excited about? What am I grateful for?
What am I proud of? What am I committed to?
What am I enjoying and what do I love? And
then the sub question of that is what about it
makes me feel that way powerful? Yeah? Seveny morning, I
just asking myself those questions, And what happens is when

(39:46):
you start looking, when you start answering those questions, your
mind throughout the day will find answers to those questions.
Yeah right, because you were pre programmed to worry all
the time. So if you can sort of change that
up by cultivating the gratitude, then it allows you to
live inside out versus exterior in. So I like that

(40:12):
exterior in For me from my own experience was I
used to think that, you know, big houses, cars, women,
alcohol brought me pleasure, I mean brought me happiness. And
when I realized those things never brought me happiness, they
brought me pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with pleasure. It's
just knowing that because it's a sensation, it's always going

(40:34):
to be unstable because in the scales of life, that
pleasure sensation is always going to get balanced out by
the pain and discomfort that you have to go through.
So all that exterior stuff, eventually it's not going to
give you happiness. But what gives you that happiness from

(40:54):
my experience, is living inside out, which is that gratitude,
cultivating gratitude and learning how to take a negative and
turning it into a positive. So it's kind of the law.
They call it the law of repurpose. So if you
really think about when things are happening to you, there's
you could always make a positive out of it. And

(41:17):
that's what allows you to. Because life and pain are inseparable,
You're going to have to go through pain. And the
more you realize that pain is just part of life,
it's and you can continue to go through pain, you
realize that it's not hard anymore because you're you're used
to going through it, and every time you go through
it gets less and less harder for you to do it,

(41:41):
so you embrace it. So for me, that's been it's
been so key. I mean, it's probably the biggest game
changer ever ever, is that cultivating gratitude. And I always
tell people if you struggle with faith, increase your gratitude
and you'll automatically have more faith. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, well that's complex but very concise. There's so much
in that statement you just made. I mean, from understanding
that you know, cars and houses the big houses and
how women and all that stuff is sort of in

(42:18):
the materialistic sector, which never lasts. They never ever lasts.
So when you have faith and you have confidence, and
you have a wonderful relationship with yourself, you are open
to have wonderful relationship with others that you can understand

(42:39):
what true happiness is. Right, and true happiness starts with you.
It's not relying on something or someone to make you happy.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
I love that you said that, because it's so the truth.
If you're about truth, you're able to live in set
out right techny right when you keep the promises you
make to yourself. You don't need the you don't need
the validation of the exterior to make you whole. And uh,
and again there's nothing wrong with I mean, material stuff
drove me for a long time until it didn't and

(43:12):
then the spiritual drives you. And you can't fill a
spiritual void with the material things.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
And I was like that too when I was younger,
you know, I wanted that kind of drove me and
motivated me to want the better things in life, you know,
the better restaurants, the better cars and stuff like that.
And now in my fifties, I'm looking back, I'm going
was it worth it? Well? It was an experience. But
what I really see that I'm opening up my eyes

(43:41):
to is so many people out there living that chase life,
like they have to identify themselves with the Mercedes or
you know, some sort of materialistic thing, and they might
even live in an apartment in Newport Beach but drive
a Ferrari, you know. So that's so insignificant, But I

(44:01):
understand it. I understand it because nobody has taught that
person what really matters, and that's who you are.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
You know.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
There's something that I realize also. That stuff can be
taken away from you. You know, the government can come
in and you know, claim that they own the land
or tax the hell out of you, and suddenly you
can't afford your house anymore. Somebody can steal your car.
You know, all that stuff can get taken away. But
your peace of mind, your true value of yourself and

(44:32):
your family and what really matters your children. I mean,
nothing can really take that away, that feeling of confidence
like you have wonderful, wonderful people around you, you're a
good person. Nobody can take that away. Yeah, it's just
like knowledge. Nobody can steal your knowledge. You know, they

(44:53):
can't get in your head and tax you because of
what you know, at least not yet.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
What I love about when you said is reminds me
of something that I always talk about it, which is
when you can't control your talent, you could always control
your virtue, right, you can always control your character, you know,
So if you don't, you know, if you don't want
to be ordinary, like, one of the ways that you
can control being extraordinary is by your character. Yeah, because

(45:20):
no one could ever take that away from you, right Yeah,
And yeah, character is huge, and I think it's one
of the ways you won't end up alone when you're old. Right, Yeah,
what a I was just telling this to my friend
the other day, Like I can't think of anything worse
being old and being alone because you were always all

(45:42):
about yourself, right, Because I'm telling you, I mean, I
don't think when people don't care about you, it doesn't
matter how much success you had. Like the last thing
you want to do is listen to an old person,
and there are things that they used to do before
and how great they used to be before. Like nobody
cares unless they actually care about you, right, Yeah, but

(46:04):
you can have all the fame in the world, you
can have all the success in the world, you end
up holding alone. Yeah, I don't want that.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
You know. When I learned that, It's funny. I don't
remember how. I was probably eight or nine years old,
maybe a little bit younger, but watching cartoons and you know,
watching Uncle Scrooge who has all the money in the world,
but everybody hates them, nobody wants to be around him.
It's like, that's not the life I want.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
You can have all the money in the world, but
no health, bad health. I've seen a lot of that too.
I actually have friends that prioritize making you know, millions
over their health, and a lot of them have sacrificed
their relationship with their family to be successful.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
I was interested in your So you went through your
health scare, right, and that was I mean, I can't
think of anything worse. You know, you got brain tumors,
but then you also have heart. Yeah, I mean a
heart situation is just as scary as a brain tumor,
I think, right, and you yours? And how was Tamra

(47:19):
through that whole ordeal?

Speaker 1 (47:22):
You know, she held strong, and I think that's one
of the other examples that really made me realize how
strong she is as a woman. She's always there for me.
She was there at the hospital. You know, she took
me to the surgeries, she took notes, She really understood

(47:45):
what's going on, and she helped me understand what the
doctor was saying. It really was wonderful to have somebody
like her. You know, she is my wife, but you know,
our relationship it has always been solid and we support
each other through it thick and thin. And this is

(48:05):
this is one of the moments in my life where
I'm like questioning, what am I going to do? What
am I gonna do for the rest of my life?
This is I always identified myself from a health perspective, right,
I've always made an effort, more of an effort than
than not to stay healthy, eat healthy, uh, stay away
from bad foods, you know, stay away from alcohol. And

(48:26):
I mean I did that stuff when I was younger.
But I also realized when I was younger, I was
pretty resilient. You know, I could wake up the next
morning and go to work after drinking all night, and maybe,
just maybe that lifestyle kind of contributed to my heart
issue because I still today can't pinpoint exactly what happened

(48:47):
to me. Doctors can't define that. It's it's mind boggling
to me that we have such an amazing medical system,
but they can't tell you what the cause of it is,
you know. So now I'm back to living my normal life,
but I've also taken it in a more conservative way.

(49:10):
I'm not doing any high intense interval training. I'm not,
you know, taking pre workouts. I stopped that a long
time ago. Anyways, I'm real conscious about what I eat.
I stay away from alcohol. I might have a drink
once or twice a year, but even that I don't
want to do because I know it's poison.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
You know.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I'm doing everything I can to avoid potentially prevent that
from ever happening again. Because after my surgery, and after
the doctor said you're good, you get the Green bill
of health. You're also you're back to normal, he said,
but there's that one percent chance it'll come back when
you're in your eighties, right, And I'm thinking, okay, well
maybe by then I won't care. But ultimately, I don't

(49:50):
want to ever live the life of an elderly you know,
in my eighties nineties, I'm hoping to live that long,
but I don't want to live my life on pharmaceuticals.
I don't want to have to rely on pills to
keep me alive, or keep me active or you know,
keep me thinking clear. So I'm doing everything and I've

(50:12):
always have because of that. You know, I've always exercised regularly,
I've always eaten regularly. And then this happens to my
heart and it just spun my head.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
You know.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Thank God for my wife that was there to help
me get through this, and I feel like gotten through this,
I feel I still have obviously a little trauma that
deep down in the back of my head, like don't
go too hard.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
So did you did the doctor tell you not to
do high intensity workouts or was that your decision?

Speaker 1 (50:41):
That was my decision, you know. When it happened, no
matter what I did physically, if I went for a run,
or if I got on my bike, or hell if
I just walked up some steep stairs, my heart rate
would go into two one hundred and twenty beats for
a minute, and it felt like I was caring like
three hundred pounds on me and I couldn't take a

(51:03):
step without running out of breath and it was the worst,
the worst feeling I've ever had. And granted I've been
in those situations when I was doing Spartan, I would put,
you know, an eighty pound bucket full of rocks on
my shoulders and climb a you know, a steep road,
dirt road that was intentional. But when it's not intentional,

(51:24):
you don't have a bucket on your shoulders, but just
your own body weight. Yeah, it really just hurts, hurts
your ego, hurts your your positive, you know train of thoughts.
It hurts your strength, and you think, well, what's the
point now? You know what? I honestly experienced a short

(51:45):
bout of depression, and the biggest outcome from that was
growing up you know, being you know, so motivated, so positive,
and so I would say strong, I would I would
hear people say I'm depressed, and I what you have
to be depressed? We live in a beautiful country. We

(52:05):
live you know, there's a lot of freedom, there's a
lot of sun, there's a lot of good food, there's
a lot of things you can do. So you're not depressed.
Why are you depressed? And it made me realize that
depression is a real thing and if you let it
spiral you down. I never thought I would ever experience
something like that, but it it experience that helped me

(52:26):
open up my eyes. So when I do meet somebody
that is going through depression, I can better understand them
and better, you know, better understand them so I can
say the right thing versus suck it up, you know,
get out there and live your life right, versus well, let's,
you know, put one foot in front of the other.

(52:46):
Let's try to keep moving. Let's, you know, get some sun,
let's go outside, and you know, let's let's just do
something about it. But sitting back in a couch drinking
or eating ice cream or you know, drinking alcohol or
whatever it is that people kind of circcumb to definitely

(53:08):
is the wrong path. But yeah, it was. It was
the biggest scare in my life health wise, and all
I could think of is I got to learn as
much as I can to beat this, because I can't
rely on a doctor or a healthcare system to get
me through this. I have to do whatever I can

(53:28):
on my own. And when I find the right doctor
that I trust and believe based on my knowledge, now
I will make a better decision about my health versus
just sitting back, closing your eyes and saying, doc, do
whatever you know, take you take care of my health. Right.
That doesn't work. That doesn't always work.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
Yeah, so no, I agree, And yeah I think I
think for me, that would be probably the toughest thing
that could the inability to just not be all work
out again. I don't even know how I would deal
with that, because a big part of my sanity is
working out, right, That's been like my pill to relax

(54:10):
is the working out. And then it doesn't matter what
comes my way because I'm so relaxed, I can take
on whenever it comes my way. So you not being
able to do what you'd loved to do for ever
since you were young. I could easily see how you
can get depressed over that. So major props for you
beating that, because that that I know wasn't easy, you know,

(54:34):
especially you know we talk about validation, like, I'm sure
a part of your validation I know for me has
been I've always been fit, you know, and then that
gets taken away. It's like, oh, shoot, you know, that's tough.
It's not easy to do.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
I'll tell you. There was this one eye opening example
that happened to me right in the middle of my
of the year that I was having this hard issue.
I was doing Spartan training prior to that, you know,
I made it very big effort to be in the
best shape of my life so I can lead my
Spartans through the race.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
Right.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
And there was a particular race I really enjoyed taking
my team too, and that was money. And every year
we'd go out there and I'd you know, I'd lead
the group and stay at the front and then go
back and you know, help motivate people and then run
to the front. I was basically in phenomenal shape and

(55:33):
this one race, I said, I'm going to go. I
have to go, because that was my mentality is it's
kind of like what Teddy is doing with riding horses,
you know, going through this, right, I totally understand that
I have to I have to continue trying to be
as normal as possible. Plus I signed up for this race, right,
So we went out there Monterey started the race. I was,

(55:55):
you know, a little ambivalent about it, but I did it.
And halfway through the race, it just I went into
a I started feeling kind of dizzy. I would go
up a little hill and I would have to stop
at the top, put my hands on my knees and
catch my breath. And then I look up. I'm like,
I'm the one that's holding back our team. I'm the

(56:18):
one that's slowing everybody down, and I'm supposed to be
the leader here. And I felt so bad about myself
at that moment. But I had a couple of people
come up to me and say, don't worry. You know,
we still love you, we still think you're amazing, but
what you're going through is not easy. We're here for you,

(56:38):
and they would stop there with me, they would walk
with me when I needed to walk. Then we got
through the race together and at the end, you know,
we're all in tears, like, oh, I've we made it.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
It was.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Sort of a survival thing, right, But that moment, in
that moment where I just looked up, I'm like, I'm
holding everybody back here and I'm supposed to be the leader.
It hit me hard. It hit me really hard. And
like we talked earlier, I turned that around. I said
I got to do something about this. I cannot let
this beat me. I cannot. I cannot And even though

(57:14):
that was one of the hardest races I've ever done.
I came out of it thinking, Okay, I'm going to
do this. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to beat
this disease. So hopefully Teddy sees that the same experience,
you know, pushing through you know, the pain and pushing
through the challenges, and maybe she'll have a moment where

(57:36):
she just sees clarity and says, I'm gonna grab the
bull by the horns if she hasn't already, and just
take charge of this because I can't rely on anybody
to fix me. I have to fix myself. You know,
you need help, but you still have to take charge
of your own health.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
Yeah, I think she's doing that. And you bring a
good point, right, which is I think pain is inevitable
and suffering is optional. Right. I think you suffer when
you just sit around lament on why is this happening
to me? And I feel so sorry for myself versus
just like, hey, it happened, and now I just got
to push forward. Right, And that's the difference I think

(58:18):
between pain and suffering, because again, the pain is inevitable,
and I think she's doing just that. What I've noticed
about extraordinary people elade people versus average people is that
we all get hurt, right, we all have to go
through pain. But it's your ability to bounce back and
how quick you can bounce back, right, Because everyone's going

(58:41):
to get knocked down in life. That's inevitable. You're going
to get punched in the face and you're going to
get dropped. But it's how quickly you can get back
up and continue to push forward, focusing on the things
that you can control that make the difference. If you
look at unfortunately, most people, when life punches them in
the face and knocks them down, they take days, they

(59:02):
take weeks, they take months too years to finally come back.
Now you figure in a ten year time limit, like
you're probably gonna get knocked down a large probably four
or five times, right, some might even be twenty times
in a ten year period. Right. And if you think

(59:24):
about if you compare it to somebody who immediately springs
back up and starts attacking, right, versus the person that
just stays in the ground, stays on the floor for months, weeks,
stays whatever years. That starts to compound over time. And
what I've realized in life is that if you just

(59:44):
learn how to play hurt and just show up the
next day even though you don't feel like it because
the day before you just got your ass kicked and
some bad news. You continue to do that. You don't
have to be the smartest person in the world. You
just continue to show up every day how you feel,
and you do the things that you're supposed to do.
No matter how you feel, you're going to be pretty

(01:00:05):
successful and you're going to do pretty well for yourself.
But most people can't do that. As easy as that sounds,
most people can't play hurt. The minute something goes wrong
in their life. It's freaking days, weeks, months, years, and
then when they finally recover, a year's pass them by again.

(01:00:26):
You compound that over time, that other person that maybe
wasn't as smart as you, wasn't as smart as you,
is way ahead.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Of Yeah, I think in one word is it's endurance.
You know, having the ability to give back up and
endure whatever it is you have to do to get
to the other side. And sometimes it'll take you a
day to get past it. Sometimes it'll take you ten
years to really realize every single step I took for

(01:00:57):
the last ten years got me to where I am today,
and I made it, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
So exactly. My favorite chapter in the Bible is the Proverbs,
And even if you're not a person of faith, if
you just go into Proverbs, it's just all about wisdom, right.
And one of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs twenty four
sixteen that says, though the righteous falls seven times, they

(01:01:25):
will rise again, but the wicket will crumble when calamity strikes.
Now that word seven, right, though the righteous will fall
seven times seven stands for infinity. That means you're gonna fall,
and you're gonna fall, and you're gonna fall. And I
used to think, man, if I just become a person

(01:01:47):
of faith, I won't have to go through pain. And
what I realized, especially as I saw that proverb, was like, no,
you have to. Everybody's got to go through it. And
all you have to do is rise up one more time,
you know, Yeah, And that's life. You's got to keep rising.
You got to rise up one more time when life
punches in the face, get up again, do it again.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Well on that note, I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
I think we're gonna close this out and say a
prayer for you you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Know, appreciate it. Yeah, appreciate all prayers. Appreciate everybody that's
you know, been praying force to get a lot of those.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Yeah, you can truly appreciate all your guys' support as
well through his Instagram, through you know, your reviews. You know,
this has been a tough one. But we're going to
get through this, bro.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
Yep, So no, we will. We're confident.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
Yeah, welcome back, and I'm happy to see you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
It's good to be back.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
And we'll see you on the next podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
Yeah, I'm excited for that one. We have a good
one for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
All Right, guys, have a wonderful day.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
All right, I'll talk to you soon.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
See guys later.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
And the never penet