February 14, 2025 • 31 mins
When his boyfriend (Ray Santiago) goes missing, dysfunctionally plucky college student Damian Basil Hearst (Noah Feinberg) takes it upon himself to solve the mystery. But for Damian, “solving a mystery” means hooking up with all the men in his vanished beau’s orbit, beginning with a bold (awkward) rendezvous with a cranky chiropractor (Scott Evans).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television
and Ember twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised. Do you
want to hear a joke?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So Sherlock and Watson have started spending a lot of
time together, like off the clock. Watson is positive he's
getting you know, vibes from Sherlock. So one night, after
a round of pints at Eye Old Pint House, one
thing leads to another and suddenly they're back at Watson's place. Now,
Sherlock's a little nervous because he's supposedly never done this before,
(00:36):
so Watson is taking it slow. After a minute, Watson
pulls out. He glances down and then grins and triumphantly declares,
no shit Sherlock.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So is that a yes to gualk.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes? Please?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Oh and could shit hold please? There's nothing quite so
humbling as when you forget to silence your phone and
then when you're in public you get a dating app notification,
and not one of the designed to be deleted ones. No,
I'm talking the unbridled bacchanalia apps with those really shrill
notification sounds like that, So you look around all shifty
(01:23):
to see if anyone heard you. No, of course no
one heard you, Damien. You're in the middle of the
noisy on campus Chipotle asking for the medium spicy Saltza.
And also the world doesn't revolve around you, you raunchy egomaniac.
Still you hold your phone low and open up Metal,
the hookup app currently in vogue.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Welcome to Metal Make Travel.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Okay, let's see, she's twenty nine, two miles away. Looks
like the descendant of some funny business at the family barbecues.
But I get it. Mustn't desecrate the royal blood line
and all that.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Hey, man, what are you into? I have the hook up.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't deign to imagine what Bell pepper Man has
a hookup for, but I do recognize the guy from somewhere.
Then again, hey, that'll be nine fifty hm oh right, sorry, shit,
did the Chipotle guy see me? U?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Metal?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Just now? I mean, I know, we just established the
world doesn't revolve around me, but well, my world.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Does have a good one, Bud.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
But I scan his caso speckled face for a wink,
even a smile as the burrito passes hands. But alas,
no such luck.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
In Ludlow Hills.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Like our dating app scene, our town itself is small
and mostly insignificant. I mean, if it weren't for Crestwick University,
the lifeblood of Ludlow's economy, the metal presence here would
be dead. And don't get me wrong, it basically still is.
See Ludlow isn't Greenwich Village or West Hollywood or the Vatican.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You know.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Think of us as a tiny, gated community where everyone
knows everyone, no matter how often you refresh the apps.
And so I take my medium spicy burrito and walk
back to the dorms and I stand corrected. An unfamiliar
face shoots me a message he's cute, but not so
cute that he's probably a catfish the sweet spot, and
(03:29):
then his username is now fuck me, it's the circus
tent emoji. Oh oh, I get it. It's a big
top tent, big top, nauseating, yes, but I respect the pun.
Oh big top, says.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Cute pick, but your profile is blank.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Hm, observant. Truth is I only recently downloaded the app,
and no, I'm not in the closet. I've just been
dealing with some stuff lately, and Metal has seemed like
a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
But it's time. Let's fill out my profile displaying Damien
basil Hurst. Hmm, that's a little personal great.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Dame, relationship status, single bio.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Now do I want to come off approachable and boyfriendly
or sexy and man friendly? Maybe a bit of both.
Sophomore journalism major at Crestwick U. Let's get coffee or
a drink. I'm the type of guy you can bring
home to your parents. But your dad might recognize me.
(04:46):
But but I respect the sanctity of marriage, and I
so did not mean to insinuate anything about your father's sexuality.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's not my place, right your That's a relief sele prompts.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Huh, I have to answer prompts? What is it with
dating apps these days? Trying to foster real connections? I
don't need anyone poking around my brain. You know what
you find when you go beneath the surface, gooey seaweed
that brushes against your ankle and makes you scream. Select
prompt Jesus fine.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Prompt number one. I'm overly competitive.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
About literally everything. Stay out of my way.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Urchins Prompt number two. My dream dinner.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Guest is the postmate's delivery guide, and he leaves after
handing me my food.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Okay, last one prompt number three. My unusual skill is.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh I know this self sabotage. At least Big Top
thought it was funny.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Nice stats twenty nine mask UNSA.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
And that seems paranoid NSA.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
No strings attached?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Oh hah, yeah, no strings is cool? So you looking shit?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Am I looking? I mean, on one hand, hormones, But
on the other hand, a cozy night in with mister
postmates Dick pick in coming, make that a double. He's
kind of got this like leaning Tower of Pisa thing
going on. I wonder if anyone's ever told him that
(06:31):
you there? Yeah, Hi, sorry, I'm super hot. A masterpiece
in phallic photograph A fee you travel sometimes with family?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Lol?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
You're green?
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Travel or host? It means do you want to come
to my place or do I come to yours?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Travel?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I guess I have a roommate, which I admit is
a lie. I do live in a single but it's
because I don't want other people in my room.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Cool, I can host.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
So are you a top or a bottom?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I have a whole thing about this, but honestly, I'm
trying to slow place some of my neurosis so stand
by open.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
To either.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Nice come over.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
On the very slight chance it wasn't obvious. I do
find it worth mentioning that big top spells it cum over.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I'm at the Ludlow Lodge Apartments six six.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
All right, it's settled, I guess i'm looking.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Is this it Ludlow Lodge Apartments?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
This is perfect? Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Stay safe, Stay safe drivers always know what you're up to,
and he can smell it on you. The Ludlow Lodge
apartments are motel style, with each room exiting to the
outdoor hallway. It's a long way up to the sixth floor,
but I've been skipping leg day lately, as in I've
(08:18):
never done it, so I could use the climb sides.
It's not like I'm nervous per se. But what's the rush?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'm here? Okay, I really hope this guy isn't a murderer.
Hey there, Hey you?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And then it happens the hookup, handshaked tango?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Are we? Oh? Oh, fist bump, we're doing that? Okay?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, bro oh he is a murderer. I hope he
kills me soon.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Earth's a great dame.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Sorry, I think too much. I think you look like
your pictures.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
You look older than yours. Come in.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I want to remind him that is technically the nature
of photos. You're always older than the day you took them.
But I hold my tongue. I suspect it's about to
get a workout.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Do you want to drink?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Or we could just get ready to be great? Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I always find it weird looking around a hookups place
when you're only in someone's dwelling to play hide the sausage.
It's difficult to imagine them on that keyboard in the
corner or using that juicer.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
So you go to Crestwick I do. Yeah, that's cool.
So what do you do? I'm a chiropractor?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oh snap, Okay, that was like objectively funny. If he
doesn't laugh, that is squarely on him.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Come here, Can I look at your bookshelf?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Medical books? John Grisham? Of course the truth? Jet fuel
can't melt steel beams.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
WHOA what? Sorry you've seen nervous? Oh I gave it away,
the nervous laughter.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
No, the sweaty palms.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Excuse me, I just rolled my eyes so hard they
fell out of my face. Sorry, this is just sort
of like my first time. What that's not what I meant.
This is just my first time with someone from an app.
What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the
wall When he describes tonight from his point of view?
Is that okay to say?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Did I just make this weird? No?
Speaker 4 (10:53):
He didn't make it weird. I actually think it's kind
of cute.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I'm afraid that if I unpack why naive as I
virginal boys get him off, it'll yield unsavory results, so I.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Let it go.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
So what made you take the leap?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
You're really cute?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Hot hot hot, I mean really hot, and you know
it helped that you had a face photo. These apps
start to feel like a gallery of headless Torso picks the.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Anne Bolens of metal.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I like to say, honestly, that one's on me. Know
your audience, dame right?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Are you on prep?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Uh? No? No, I'm not yet. I keep meaning too, but.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I brought condoms. I'll grow up, but I promise I'll
make it worth it.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh that's so in reality, I probably won't. Sexual fulfillment
isn't really why I'm here. See I remember learning in
a lit class a while back about the concept of
an unreliable and well, as far as narrators go, I
may not have been one hundred percent honest. The truth
(12:07):
is I didn't agree to come hook up with Big
Top just because of my neglected libido.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
No.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I got on board when he dropped the pin to
the Ludlow Lodge apartments, Room six one six. Now, remember
when I said the complex is motel style. Well, that's
because up until this past summer it was a motel.
After being bought out by real estate developers from Seattle,
it underwent a shoddy renovation, complete with a small and
(12:35):
likely diseased pool, and voila home, sweet home to the
lower middle class of Ludlow, which tells you very little
since we're already a town comprised exclusively of the lower
middle class. Now, how is all of this relevant? That's
a good question, to which I'll respond by talking more
about myself. Lately, the only question I hate more than
(12:57):
top or bottom is being asked about my first time see.
I really only purged the verge last year, and it
was with this guy I was seeing, Santy. I met
Santy at a Luau party in October. I know it's
(13:17):
a culture and not a party theme. That's why I
had to drink so many jello shots. I could hardly
stand being there. I think, what was the first thing
I noticed about Santy? Well, if I ever remember, i'll
let you know. What I do recall from that night
is brazenly approaching him sometime around one, I am.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
There mostly your BAC.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I'm guessing excuse me, BAC blood alcohol content. No, I
know what it stands for. I just didn't realize I
was in the presence of a excuse me of a professor. Hey,
are there any more of those little jello shot things?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Maybe you should take a breather, Maybe you should sawed off? Professor?
Who put you in charge? Me? This is my party
in my house. Okay?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Would it make things better if I like, physically put
my foot in my mouth right now?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I would do it. No need.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I'm not much of a feat guy.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I'm Santi Damien.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
So Damien. How'd you end up at my little luau tonight?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I tagged along with my roommate, but now he's back
at our dorm with his latest paramore.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
So I'm sexiled. I can't keep my eyes open. I
see that. Well, you're welcome the crash here. Party's dying anyway, It's.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
A slow death.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I bet you invite all the sexiled freshmen over to
your room.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Just the ones with really nice eyes.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's I don't I can't really handle compounds right now.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Does not compute?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So what do you think about staying over?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
But I'm not trying to take advantage of you. It
just seems like you need a.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Place to be right now. How do you know I
wouldn't take advantage of you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I could ransack your house in the night, steal all
your valuables.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Good point. This whole blind drunk bit could be an
elaborate hustle.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, maybe I'm just pretending to be. I will now
open the floor to a brief Q and.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
A David Romain NBC News. Did you vomit on Santi.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yes I did, Bailey Drags TMZ. Did you spend the
night in his room? Yes I did.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
Jenny Brock Breitbart, Did you have sex gross?
Speaker 1 (16:03):
No, I wasn't even conscious, also Breitbart. We did, however,
get breakfast the next morning, where I apologized profusely over
runny eggs. After that we started hanging out. It was
pretty casual at first, you know, lunch, hitting up parties together.
(16:24):
I usually initiated it and he usually made time, and
that was fine with me.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
For a while.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
We had our own little bubble separate from the real world.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But I started to want more.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I mean, I didn't know anything about about his friends,
or his family, or the research project he'd spend hours
in the lab working on every day. I wouldn't go
so far as to say my feelings for Santy were unrequited.
But if for quittal was economic stability, our relationship was
two thousand and eight. I mean, Santy changed everything for me.
(17:03):
He was my favorite thing, and he just had other
things than me. And no, we hadn't gone all the
way yet. Santy knew I'd never had like sex at
that point, so we kind of danced around that milestone,
if you will, until I finally told him I was ready.
(17:25):
Santy wanted to make my first time special, so he
booked us a room. I got Champagne the whole nine
inches now and he guesses as to what hotel Santy
booked for us that night. Yep, the Ludlow Lodge Motel,
Room six won six and it was perfect. I mean,
(17:46):
I remember in the shower afterwards. I couldn't stop grinning
until I got out of the bathroom and Santy was gone.
And not just I busted a nut and I'm going home. Gone.
Santy has been missing ever since.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Hey, this is Santy. Text me to leave a message
and I'll get you back.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Hi, where are you? Boyo? Didn't you just run out
to get ice?
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Hey this is Santy. Text me to leave a message
and I'll get you back.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Santi, Hi, where are you? I called the front desk,
they didn't see you leave. Can you call me back?
I'm a little worried.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Hey, this is Santy. Text me to leave a message
and I'll get you back.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Santy, what's going on? The police are looking for you.
Can you just let me know if you're okay?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Was just? Was it me?
Speaker 3 (18:47):
So?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I got ghosted in a big way. The police questioned
everyone that night.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
The concierge, no, now you listen here, the Ludlow lodgeing,
they had none solved disappearance at almost eight We sure
as hell don't need you cock, sure out of towners
coming in and shaking things up, housekeeping nice or nothing.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
I was in the lundryroom washing the blood from sheets.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Even the bellboy on duty with the deeply asymmetrical face.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
I was downstairs getting ice because the machine on the
sixth floor was out of order. Pretty sure the CCTV
can confirm.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
But sans any evidence of struggle or foul play, the
investigation reached a stand still pretty fast. It wasn't long
before the LCPD declared Santy I run away and closed
the case. And while I'd like to think he's off
sipping White Claw and the Maldives with his secret sugar Daddy,
that just never seemed likely to me. I mean, who
just runs away post coitus, never to be seen again. Well,
(19:46):
well other than my dad. No, my psychiatrist didn't laugh
at that one either. Anyway, the renovations began a few
weeks later, so I was never able to get back
into this room. But when I saw that Big Top
was living here, Oh shit, he's coming. Okay, Damien ahead
(20:07):
in the game, Oh.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
How was that?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Well?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
I dissociated and thought about my missing X the whole time.
So you tell me it was so hot?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Thanks? And dude, you are definitely.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
A bottom pillow talk the most unwelcome window into the
human psyche.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Mmm noted? Hey, can I ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Do guys ever like ask you to crack him when
you say you're a chiropractor?
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, all the time. Would you like it tune up?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I mean, if he won't stop asking, Big Top starts
to stretch my arms, acquainting himself off with my spine.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
It feels nice to be taken care of. Ow do
you get tired of doing this?
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Turn your neck this way. Sometimes chiropractics have the potential
to get emotional, and tears kind of gild the vibe
or maybe not, depending on what you're into.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Tears Shaw, some.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
People are really into that shit.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
No, I mean like chiropractics make people emotional, Oh for sure.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
It's it's common for chiropractic treatments to trigger past trauma.
Our bodies hold so much inside, more than we even realize,
and sometimes when we let it crack, we release everything
we've been suppressing.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Snap, crackle and cry. Well, m no trauma yet, all
right here face me. Big Top is staring ahead now,
eyes kind of glaze over miles away you Okay.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Yeah, I was just I was just thinking about this guy,
a patient that came through for a tune up when
I was in training. I'll sit up straight out. He
was wearing a mask, but it wasn't about his face.
It was about his joints. I'm not even sure how
to describe it.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Mmmm, that's okay.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Rotate your head.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
It's like it's like we were continents.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Yes, yeah, we were continents at the dawn of time,
two fractured land masses, just drifting for eons until pandigga out.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Okay, maybe a little less time spent paying attention to
cute boys during training.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So did you get his number? I guess not.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
It's funny the moment you register that this stranger you're
with has their own life, their own past, own insecurities
and baggage, maybe even their own suppressed spinal suffering too.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Have you tried to find him?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
I don't know what he looks like. So when I
hooke up with a guy that maybe could be him,
I have to test for that same you know, cosmic snap,
and then I'll know I found him.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I feel for Big Top, I do. I mean, that's
the type of bizarre trauma I'd get myself into. Besides,
it's not like I don't have my own agenda tonight anyway.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Look alive, soldier, I'm going to go take a shower,
but we'll go again when I get back.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And the moment's gone, so joint relief aside, Why did
I really come back here?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Closure?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I guess, like like when a ghost can't stop violently
tormenting a family until they find its bones and give
it a proper burial. I guess Santi is my ghost
and that's my cue. But where does one typically find
this elusive closure? Under the bed, behind the chipped little
(24:02):
credenza where Santy poured our final champagne toast. No, no
closure here. I was ready to move on to let
Santy go, and Big Top had to come along and
invite me to this exact room. No, I can't let go,
not until I find out what happened to Santy. This
ghost doesn't need a proper burial, It needs a goddamn
(24:25):
murder solved. And yes, I'm aware of the irony and
me speaking out.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Big Top. Is someone there?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
The recycling been over in the trash cove, it's been
knocked over?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Is it like that?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
When I got here, I brushed the hair out of
my eyes, gotta look good for my death scene. I mean, logically,
I know I'm not being followed and it was probably
like a wrack that knocked the bin over. Although raccoons
don't eat recyclables, but maybe someone threw food in the
recycling bin. I mean, that would be shitty, but better
(25:09):
than the alternative. There's just something about coming from a
hook up like this that keeps you on edge. I
wouldn't say I'm in fight or flight mode because I'm
confrontation avoidant and I hate airports, but when you're alone
outside a CD apartment complex at night, it's hard not
to let your mind wander. I mean, those don't sound
(25:33):
like raccoon feed. Those sound like deranged machete wielding maniac feet.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Don't turn around, Damien, because because because once you do,
and you see them, and they see you see them,
it's really real.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Then it's no return.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Oh shit. I turn around, half covering my eyes and
expecting the worst, which is exact exactly what I see.
There's a fucking person running at me. Who was that?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I couldn't see their face.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
It was covered in like a hoodie, a really ugly one,
too stretched out sleeves, pink and mustard. No goddamn way,
that's the last thing I see. Come on Dame elevators
just around the corner. And then and then I collide
with someone now buck, Sorry, sorry, man, that's my bad.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
All good, kay, totally. I was just being chased. I
don't see anyone, Yeah, neither do I anymore. It was
probably just a raccoon. Looked pretty human sized.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
A bunch of raccoons then stacked on top of each
other in a trench coat.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Yeah, probably that they have a good night. I'm sorry
to bother you.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
We had our separate ways, but after a second I
turned my head back, and what do you know, he
does the same that telltale over the shoulder exorcist headspin
where we lock eyes, both thinking the same thing. Ah, Jesus, hormones, chill.
But that guy that I just ran into, why do
(27:26):
I feel like I know him? It was like late twenties,
deeply asymmetrical face. It was dark, but I'm positive I've
seen him before.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
But where?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
And then like an epiphany, it hits me right here.
He was that bellboy on duty the night Santi disappeared.
I remember the detectives questioning him.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I was downstairs getting ice because the machine on the
sixth floor was out of order.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Pretty sure that the CCTV can confirm him.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
He seemed rattled, but someone just went missing from workplaced,
so I didn't think much of it. But here's the
pickle phallic pun very much intended. What's a bell boy
doing sticking around after his hotel of employment gets bought
out and turned into apartments? And then, like the time
my freshman year roommate got me into Whippets, it hits
(28:17):
me again. Epiphany number two. That Bell Pepper emoji guy
who DMed me earlier on Metal? You know the guy
whose face I said, I recognized.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
This is him, bell Boy?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
That was him. Not only is the bell Boy from
the night Santy went missing, the man I just bumped into,
he's also that guy who hit me up on Metal earlier.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
What did he say to me?
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Hey man, what are you aim too?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
I have the hookup, the hookup, the hookup for what?
I could just be grasping at straws here. But I
never got to actually speak to mister bell Boy that night.
Maybe the cops missed something, Maybe bell BOYD saw something,
Maybe bell BOYD did something. You want to know what
(29:08):
I'm into, bell Boy? You're about to find out, Hey,
this is something.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Text me to leave a message and I'll get you back.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
You know, I keep waiting for the time that I call,
and your parents have finally disconnected your line. I guess
I really just wanted to say that I miss you,
and I think I have a lead on what happened,
and I'm not going to stop looking for the truth
until I find you, okay. Written and directed by Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
That's Me.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Sound design and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, starring Noah Feinberg's
Me as Damian Ray Santiago as Santy and Matteo, Nico
Breatham as Wade, Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans as
Big Tough, Jeffrey Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino as
Doctor Wiley, Obi Abiley as p n Peter Gabrielle Ruiz
(30:30):
as Joma, Sadie Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices by Megan Taylor, Harvey,
Susan C. Bennett, Verona, Blue Mark Bramhall, Brian Daniel Porter,
Chris Dickey, Aaron Cooker, Christopher Corbyn, Kith Danden Bavel, and
Rhys Griffin. Opening theme by Alex Yoder. Casting director Sonny
Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive producers from iHeart, Trevor Young
(30:53):
and Matt Frederick. Executive producers from Blumbhouse, Chris Sticky and
Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
That's Me.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Execusative producers from Mber twenty David Thwaites and Jimmy Jellint
Supervising producer Rachel Foley, Editor Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
That's Me.
The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television
and Ember twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised. Do you
want to hear a joke?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So Sherlock and Watson have started spending a lot of
time together, like off the clock. Watson is positive he's
getting you know, vibes from Sherlock. So one night, after
a round of pints at Eye Old Pint House, one
thing leads to another and suddenly they're back at Watson's place. Now,
Sherlock's a little nervous because he's supposedly never done this before,
(00:36):
so Watson is taking it slow. After a minute, Watson
pulls out. He glances down and then grins and triumphantly declares,
no shit Sherlock.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So is that a yes to gualk.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes? Please?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Oh and could shit hold please? There's nothing quite so
humbling as when you forget to silence your phone and
then when you're in public you get a dating app notification,
and not one of the designed to be deleted ones. No,
I'm talking the unbridled bacchanalia apps with those really shrill
notification sounds like that, So you look around all shifty
(01:23):
to see if anyone heard you. No, of course no
one heard you, Damien. You're in the middle of the
noisy on campus Chipotle asking for the medium spicy Saltza.
And also the world doesn't revolve around you, you raunchy egomaniac.
Still you hold your phone low and open up Metal,
the hookup app currently in vogue.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Welcome to Metal Make Travel.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Okay, let's see, she's twenty nine, two miles away. Looks
like the descendant of some funny business at the family barbecues.
But I get it. Mustn't desecrate the royal blood line
and all that.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Hey, man, what are you into? I have the hook up.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't deign to imagine what Bell pepper Man has
a hookup for, but I do recognize the guy from somewhere.
Then again, hey, that'll be nine fifty hm oh right, sorry, shit,
did the Chipotle guy see me? U?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Metal?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Just now? I mean, I know, we just established the
world doesn't revolve around me, but well, my world.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Does have a good one, Bud.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
But I scan his caso speckled face for a wink,
even a smile as the burrito passes hands. But alas,
no such luck.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
In Ludlow Hills.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Like our dating app scene, our town itself is small
and mostly insignificant. I mean, if it weren't for Crestwick University,
the lifeblood of Ludlow's economy, the metal presence here would
be dead. And don't get me wrong, it basically still is.
See Ludlow isn't Greenwich Village or West Hollywood or the Vatican.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You know.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Think of us as a tiny, gated community where everyone
knows everyone, no matter how often you refresh the apps.
And so I take my medium spicy burrito and walk
back to the dorms and I stand corrected. An unfamiliar
face shoots me a message he's cute, but not so
cute that he's probably a catfish the sweet spot, and
(03:29):
then his username is now fuck me, it's the circus
tent emoji. Oh oh, I get it. It's a big
top tent, big top, nauseating, yes, but I respect the pun.
Oh big top, says.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Cute pick, but your profile is blank.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Hm, observant. Truth is I only recently downloaded the app,
and no, I'm not in the closet. I've just been
dealing with some stuff lately, and Metal has seemed like
a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
But it's time. Let's fill out my profile displaying Damien
basil Hurst. Hmm, that's a little personal great.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Dame, relationship status, single bio.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Now do I want to come off approachable and boyfriendly
or sexy and man friendly? Maybe a bit of both.
Sophomore journalism major at Crestwick U. Let's get coffee or
a drink. I'm the type of guy you can bring
home to your parents. But your dad might recognize me.
(04:46):
But but I respect the sanctity of marriage, and I
so did not mean to insinuate anything about your father's sexuality.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's not my place, right your That's a relief sele prompts.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Huh, I have to answer prompts? What is it with
dating apps these days? Trying to foster real connections? I
don't need anyone poking around my brain. You know what
you find when you go beneath the surface, gooey seaweed
that brushes against your ankle and makes you scream. Select
prompt Jesus fine.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Prompt number one. I'm overly competitive.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
About literally everything. Stay out of my way.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Urchins Prompt number two. My dream dinner.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Guest is the postmate's delivery guide, and he leaves after
handing me my food.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Okay, last one prompt number three. My unusual skill is.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh I know this self sabotage. At least Big Top
thought it was funny.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Nice stats twenty nine mask UNSA.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
And that seems paranoid NSA.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
No strings attached?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Oh hah, yeah, no strings is cool? So you looking shit?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Am I looking? I mean, on one hand, hormones, But
on the other hand, a cozy night in with mister
postmates Dick pick in coming, make that a double. He's
kind of got this like leaning Tower of Pisa thing
going on. I wonder if anyone's ever told him that
(06:31):
you there? Yeah, Hi, sorry, I'm super hot. A masterpiece
in phallic photograph A fee you travel sometimes with family?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Lol?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
You're green?
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Travel or host? It means do you want to come
to my place or do I come to yours?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Travel?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I guess I have a roommate, which I admit is
a lie. I do live in a single but it's
because I don't want other people in my room.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Cool, I can host.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
So are you a top or a bottom?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I have a whole thing about this, but honestly, I'm
trying to slow place some of my neurosis so stand
by open.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
To either.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Nice come over.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
On the very slight chance it wasn't obvious. I do
find it worth mentioning that big top spells it cum over.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I'm at the Ludlow Lodge Apartments six six.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
All right, it's settled, I guess i'm looking.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Is this it Ludlow Lodge Apartments?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
This is perfect? Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Stay safe, Stay safe drivers always know what you're up to,
and he can smell it on you. The Ludlow Lodge
apartments are motel style, with each room exiting to the
outdoor hallway. It's a long way up to the sixth floor,
but I've been skipping leg day lately, as in I've
(08:18):
never done it, so I could use the climb sides.
It's not like I'm nervous per se. But what's the rush?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'm here? Okay, I really hope this guy isn't a murderer.
Hey there, Hey you?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And then it happens the hookup, handshaked tango?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Are we? Oh? Oh, fist bump, we're doing that? Okay?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, bro oh he is a murderer. I hope he
kills me soon.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Earth's a great dame.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Sorry, I think too much. I think you look like
your pictures.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
You look older than yours. Come in.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I want to remind him that is technically the nature
of photos. You're always older than the day you took them.
But I hold my tongue. I suspect it's about to
get a workout.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Do you want to drink?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Or we could just get ready to be great? Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I always find it weird looking around a hookups place
when you're only in someone's dwelling to play hide the sausage.
It's difficult to imagine them on that keyboard in the
corner or using that juicer.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
So you go to Crestwick I do. Yeah, that's cool.
So what do you do? I'm a chiropractor?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oh snap, Okay, that was like objectively funny. If he
doesn't laugh, that is squarely on him.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Come here, Can I look at your bookshelf?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Medical books? John Grisham? Of course the truth? Jet fuel
can't melt steel beams.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
WHOA what? Sorry you've seen nervous? Oh I gave it away,
the nervous laughter.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
No, the sweaty palms.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Excuse me, I just rolled my eyes so hard they
fell out of my face. Sorry, this is just sort
of like my first time. What that's not what I meant.
This is just my first time with someone from an app.
What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the
wall When he describes tonight from his point of view?
Is that okay to say?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Did I just make this weird? No?
Speaker 4 (10:53):
He didn't make it weird. I actually think it's kind
of cute.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I'm afraid that if I unpack why naive as I
virginal boys get him off, it'll yield unsavory results, so I.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Let it go.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
So what made you take the leap?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
You're really cute?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Hot hot hot, I mean really hot, and you know
it helped that you had a face photo. These apps
start to feel like a gallery of headless Torso picks the.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Anne Bolens of metal.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I like to say, honestly, that one's on me. Know
your audience, dame right?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Are you on prep?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Uh? No? No, I'm not yet. I keep meaning too, but.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I brought condoms. I'll grow up, but I promise I'll
make it worth it.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh that's so in reality, I probably won't. Sexual fulfillment
isn't really why I'm here. See I remember learning in
a lit class a while back about the concept of
an unreliable and well, as far as narrators go, I
may not have been one hundred percent honest. The truth
(12:07):
is I didn't agree to come hook up with Big
Top just because of my neglected libido.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
No.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I got on board when he dropped the pin to
the Ludlow Lodge apartments, Room six one six. Now, remember
when I said the complex is motel style. Well, that's
because up until this past summer it was a motel.
After being bought out by real estate developers from Seattle,
it underwent a shoddy renovation, complete with a small and
(12:35):
likely diseased pool, and voila home, sweet home to the
lower middle class of Ludlow, which tells you very little
since we're already a town comprised exclusively of the lower
middle class. Now, how is all of this relevant? That's
a good question, to which I'll respond by talking more
about myself. Lately, the only question I hate more than
(12:57):
top or bottom is being asked about my first time see.
I really only purged the verge last year, and it
was with this guy I was seeing, Santy. I met
Santy at a Luau party in October. I know it's
(13:17):
a culture and not a party theme. That's why I
had to drink so many jello shots. I could hardly
stand being there. I think, what was the first thing
I noticed about Santy? Well, if I ever remember, i'll
let you know. What I do recall from that night
is brazenly approaching him sometime around one, I am.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
There mostly your BAC.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I'm guessing excuse me, BAC blood alcohol content. No, I
know what it stands for. I just didn't realize I
was in the presence of a excuse me of a professor. Hey,
are there any more of those little jello shot things?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Maybe you should take a breather, Maybe you should sawed off? Professor?
Who put you in charge? Me? This is my party
in my house. Okay?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Would it make things better if I like, physically put
my foot in my mouth right now?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I would do it. No need.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I'm not much of a feat guy.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I'm Santi Damien.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
So Damien. How'd you end up at my little luau tonight?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I tagged along with my roommate, but now he's back
at our dorm with his latest paramore.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
So I'm sexiled. I can't keep my eyes open. I
see that. Well, you're welcome the crash here. Party's dying anyway, It's.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
A slow death.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I bet you invite all the sexiled freshmen over to
your room.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Just the ones with really nice eyes.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's I don't I can't really handle compounds right now.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Does not compute?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So what do you think about staying over?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
But I'm not trying to take advantage of you. It
just seems like you need a.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Place to be right now. How do you know I
wouldn't take advantage of you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I could ransack your house in the night, steal all
your valuables.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Good point. This whole blind drunk bit could be an
elaborate hustle.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, maybe I'm just pretending to be. I will now
open the floor to a brief Q and.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
A David Romain NBC News. Did you vomit on Santi.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yes I did, Bailey Drags TMZ. Did you spend the
night in his room? Yes I did.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
Jenny Brock Breitbart, Did you have sex gross?
Speaker 1 (16:03):
No, I wasn't even conscious, also Breitbart. We did, however,
get breakfast the next morning, where I apologized profusely over
runny eggs. After that we started hanging out. It was
pretty casual at first, you know, lunch, hitting up parties together.
(16:24):
I usually initiated it and he usually made time, and
that was fine with me.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
For a while.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
We had our own little bubble separate from the real world.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But I started to want more.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I mean, I didn't know anything about about his friends,
or his family, or the research project he'd spend hours
in the lab working on every day. I wouldn't go
so far as to say my feelings for Santy were unrequited.
But if for quittal was economic stability, our relationship was
two thousand and eight. I mean, Santy changed everything for me.
(17:03):
He was my favorite thing, and he just had other
things than me. And no, we hadn't gone all the
way yet. Santy knew I'd never had like sex at
that point, so we kind of danced around that milestone,
if you will, until I finally told him I was ready.
(17:25):
Santy wanted to make my first time special, so he
booked us a room. I got Champagne the whole nine
inches now and he guesses as to what hotel Santy
booked for us that night. Yep, the Ludlow Lodge Motel,
Room six won six and it was perfect. I mean,
(17:46):
I remember in the shower afterwards. I couldn't stop grinning
until I got out of the bathroom and Santy was gone.
And not just I busted a nut and I'm going home. Gone.
Santy has been missing ever since.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Hey, this is Santy. Text me to leave a message
and I'll get you back.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Hi, where are you? Boyo? Didn't you just run out
to get ice?
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Hey this is Santy. Text me to leave a message
and I'll get you back.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Santi, Hi, where are you? I called the front desk,
they didn't see you leave. Can you call me back?
I'm a little worried.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Hey, this is Santy. Text me to leave a message
and I'll get you back.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Santy, what's going on? The police are looking for you.
Can you just let me know if you're okay?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Was just? Was it me?
Speaker 3 (18:47):
So?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I got ghosted in a big way. The police questioned
everyone that night.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
The concierge, no, now you listen here, the Ludlow lodgeing,
they had none solved disappearance at almost eight We sure
as hell don't need you cock, sure out of towners
coming in and shaking things up, housekeeping nice or nothing.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
I was in the lundryroom washing the blood from sheets.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Even the bellboy on duty with the deeply asymmetrical face.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
I was downstairs getting ice because the machine on the
sixth floor was out of order. Pretty sure the CCTV
can confirm.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
But sans any evidence of struggle or foul play, the
investigation reached a stand still pretty fast. It wasn't long
before the LCPD declared Santy I run away and closed
the case. And while I'd like to think he's off
sipping White Claw and the Maldives with his secret sugar Daddy,
that just never seemed likely to me. I mean, who
just runs away post coitus, never to be seen again. Well,
(19:46):
well other than my dad. No, my psychiatrist didn't laugh
at that one either. Anyway, the renovations began a few
weeks later, so I was never able to get back
into this room. But when I saw that Big Top
was living here, Oh shit, he's coming. Okay, Damien ahead
(20:07):
in the game, Oh.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
How was that?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Well?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
I dissociated and thought about my missing X the whole time.
So you tell me it was so hot?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Thanks? And dude, you are definitely.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
A bottom pillow talk the most unwelcome window into the
human psyche.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Mmm noted? Hey, can I ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Do guys ever like ask you to crack him when
you say you're a chiropractor?
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, all the time. Would you like it tune up?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I mean, if he won't stop asking, Big Top starts
to stretch my arms, acquainting himself off with my spine.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
It feels nice to be taken care of. Ow do
you get tired of doing this?
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Turn your neck this way. Sometimes chiropractics have the potential
to get emotional, and tears kind of gild the vibe
or maybe not, depending on what you're into.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Tears Shaw, some.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
People are really into that shit.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
No, I mean like chiropractics make people emotional, Oh for sure.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
It's it's common for chiropractic treatments to trigger past trauma.
Our bodies hold so much inside, more than we even realize,
and sometimes when we let it crack, we release everything
we've been suppressing.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Snap, crackle and cry. Well, m no trauma yet, all
right here face me. Big Top is staring ahead now,
eyes kind of glaze over miles away you Okay.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Yeah, I was just I was just thinking about this guy,
a patient that came through for a tune up when
I was in training. I'll sit up straight out. He
was wearing a mask, but it wasn't about his face.
It was about his joints. I'm not even sure how
to describe it.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Mmmm, that's okay.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Rotate your head.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
It's like it's like we were continents.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Yes, yeah, we were continents at the dawn of time,
two fractured land masses, just drifting for eons until pandigga out.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Okay, maybe a little less time spent paying attention to
cute boys during training.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So did you get his number? I guess not.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
It's funny the moment you register that this stranger you're
with has their own life, their own past, own insecurities
and baggage, maybe even their own suppressed spinal suffering too.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Have you tried to find him?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
I don't know what he looks like. So when I
hooke up with a guy that maybe could be him,
I have to test for that same you know, cosmic snap,
and then I'll know I found him.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I feel for Big Top, I do. I mean, that's
the type of bizarre trauma I'd get myself into. Besides,
it's not like I don't have my own agenda tonight anyway.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Look alive, soldier, I'm going to go take a shower,
but we'll go again when I get back.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And the moment's gone, so joint relief aside, Why did
I really come back here?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Closure?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I guess, like like when a ghost can't stop violently
tormenting a family until they find its bones and give
it a proper burial. I guess Santi is my ghost
and that's my cue. But where does one typically find
this elusive closure? Under the bed, behind the chipped little
(24:02):
credenza where Santy poured our final champagne toast. No, no
closure here. I was ready to move on to let
Santy go, and Big Top had to come along and
invite me to this exact room. No, I can't let go,
not until I find out what happened to Santy. This
ghost doesn't need a proper burial, It needs a goddamn
(24:25):
murder solved. And yes, I'm aware of the irony and
me speaking out.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Big Top. Is someone there?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
The recycling been over in the trash cove, it's been
knocked over?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Is it like that?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
When I got here, I brushed the hair out of
my eyes, gotta look good for my death scene. I mean, logically,
I know I'm not being followed and it was probably
like a wrack that knocked the bin over. Although raccoons
don't eat recyclables, but maybe someone threw food in the
recycling bin. I mean, that would be shitty, but better
(25:09):
than the alternative. There's just something about coming from a
hook up like this that keeps you on edge. I
wouldn't say I'm in fight or flight mode because I'm
confrontation avoidant and I hate airports, but when you're alone
outside a CD apartment complex at night, it's hard not
to let your mind wander. I mean, those don't sound
(25:33):
like raccoon feed. Those sound like deranged machete wielding maniac feet.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Don't turn around, Damien, because because because once you do,
and you see them, and they see you see them,
it's really real.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Then it's no return.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Oh shit. I turn around, half covering my eyes and
expecting the worst, which is exact exactly what I see.
There's a fucking person running at me. Who was that?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I couldn't see their face.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
It was covered in like a hoodie, a really ugly one,
too stretched out sleeves, pink and mustard. No goddamn way,
that's the last thing I see. Come on Dame elevators
just around the corner. And then and then I collide
with someone now buck, Sorry, sorry, man, that's my bad.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
All good, kay, totally. I was just being chased. I
don't see anyone, Yeah, neither do I anymore. It was
probably just a raccoon. Looked pretty human sized.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
A bunch of raccoons then stacked on top of each
other in a trench coat.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Yeah, probably that they have a good night. I'm sorry
to bother you.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
We had our separate ways, but after a second I
turned my head back, and what do you know, he
does the same that telltale over the shoulder exorcist headspin
where we lock eyes, both thinking the same thing. Ah, Jesus, hormones, chill.
But that guy that I just ran into, why do
(27:26):
I feel like I know him? It was like late twenties,
deeply asymmetrical face. It was dark, but I'm positive I've
seen him before.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
But where?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
And then like an epiphany, it hits me right here.
He was that bellboy on duty the night Santi disappeared.
I remember the detectives questioning him.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I was downstairs getting ice because the machine on the
sixth floor was out of order.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Pretty sure that the CCTV can confirm him.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
He seemed rattled, but someone just went missing from workplaced,
so I didn't think much of it. But here's the
pickle phallic pun very much intended. What's a bell boy
doing sticking around after his hotel of employment gets bought
out and turned into apartments? And then, like the time
my freshman year roommate got me into Whippets, it hits
(28:17):
me again. Epiphany number two. That Bell Pepper emoji guy
who DMed me earlier on Metal? You know the guy
whose face I said, I recognized.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
This is him, bell Boy?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
That was him. Not only is the bell Boy from
the night Santy went missing, the man I just bumped into,
he's also that guy who hit me up on Metal earlier.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
What did he say to me?
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Hey man, what are you aim too?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
I have the hookup, the hookup, the hookup for what?
I could just be grasping at straws here. But I
never got to actually speak to mister bell Boy that night.
Maybe the cops missed something, Maybe bell BOYD saw something,
Maybe bell BOYD did something. You want to know what
(29:08):
I'm into, bell Boy? You're about to find out, Hey,
this is something.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Text me to leave a message and I'll get you back.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
You know, I keep waiting for the time that I call,
and your parents have finally disconnected your line. I guess
I really just wanted to say that I miss you,
and I think I have a lead on what happened,
and I'm not going to stop looking for the truth
until I find you, okay. Written and directed by Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
That's Me.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Sound design and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, starring Noah Feinberg's
Me as Damian Ray Santiago as Santy and Matteo, Nico
Breatham as Wade, Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans as
Big Tough, Jeffrey Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino as
Doctor Wiley, Obi Abiley as p n Peter Gabrielle Ruiz
(30:30):
as Joma, Sadie Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices by Megan Taylor, Harvey,
Susan C. Bennett, Verona, Blue Mark Bramhall, Brian Daniel Porter,
Chris Dickey, Aaron Cooker, Christopher Corbyn, Kith Danden Bavel, and
Rhys Griffin. Opening theme by Alex Yoder. Casting director Sonny
Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive producers from iHeart, Trevor Young
(30:53):
and Matt Frederick. Executive producers from Blumbhouse, Chris Sticky and
Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
That's Me.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Execusative producers from Mber twenty David Thwaites and Jimmy Jellint
Supervising producer Rachel Foley, Editor Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
That's Me.
Host
Noah Feinberg
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