Late Riser's Podcast for Mon 07-18-22

Late Riser's Podcast for Mon 07-18-22.  

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Babe, this is sour Beef. Chose the world's most political
wrestler with my personal valet and made squeeze Sweaty buddy,
don't squeeze me too tight, I might do. You are adorable.
And before every fight in or d of the ring,
we warm up with two of the greatest patriots on
the airwaves, the World Heavyweight Tank tem Comedy Champions Party
about that half point that John Boy and Very Big

(00:22):
shall be whatever you'll say, Sweaty, let me give you
a hug, I warned you talking doodle do. All right,

(01:08):
let's get out of this Monday morning. We got a
big Jean crew ready to get your work weight. Started
off with a laurel and hardy hands. That was, Yeah,
we've been together. Let's see, wife anniversary Minniverse of marriage
is coming up next month. That's why I came up

(01:30):
with Hell long we've been working together. That's forty two years. Yeah.
My wife one time said, what what anniversary is this
coming up? And I said thirty five? She said is
that all I mean? Yes, dear, My wife argued with

(01:52):
me one year about it being you know, are you
gonna do something special for for our anniversary? Why? Well,
it's the thirtieth. I went, no, it's it's no, it's
so for that anniversary, I bought her a calculator. Your
romantic I know. Well let's see here, So move on
to stuff that's really important. It's National sour Candy Day,

(02:17):
National Caviar Day, and National getting out of the doghouse today.
Well that could be relevant. That's a that's the third
money in July. Obviously fast track home. We all need
once in a while. So this is what you'd like.
You bring up, your wife gets mad at your husband. Man,
And I don't think it's internationally recognized. Yeah, it's not

(02:42):
like some kind of international amnesty thing. Right now. What
about caviar. You'll ever tasted caviar? Yeah, not nuts about it,
but there but the caviar runs a whole game. It's
like wine. I mean, there's a thousand different flavors and
varieties out there, you know what. So that just give
me a can I carry around one in the cooler

(03:02):
in the back of my truck. A can of potted meat. Okay,
potted meat and salting crackers. Little package and crackers will
tell you get back where uh we have lunch with
the Mexicans in my local they are just as disgusting.
And that's how he gets out of the dog. All right, okay,

(03:24):
we'll good, But we got three days in this are
saved up. They will be important us where we're getting
our categories and getting the wind the beginning on outburst. Okay,
hey we're a wake. Big shows on the radio. Yeah,
more thing, the big shows on the radio. Yeah. The
tator was wondering, Yes, do you have to keep potted
meat cold? Now? Yeah, it's a delicate. Oh yeah, this's
just how you carry it around because in the back

(03:46):
of the truck, I gotta I gotta live on my bed.
You know, it gets like about a hundred and fifty
degrees in there. I know that can't be good for it. Oh,
I think it's okay. He's usually willing. I think it
was will be brought to a hundred and fifty degrees
before they put it in the cane. So yeah, I
got a little basket there, so I setting up in

(04:07):
it's not down in the water, and all right, it's
just you know about me in my pot and meat. Uh.
This time we got a first prize pike out here.
Ready to go. Mount Olive Pickles Prize Pike inclusion belt,
Olive hat, T shirt and stainless tumbler is a number
one pickle brand in the US, making great product since

(04:27):
nineteen at the corner of Cucumber and Fine. Go to
big Show dot com click on them mount Olive Pickles
banner for more info. Three days in History where we
get a categories. July eighteen, there was nineteen thirteen the
town Square in Lynchburg, Tennessee Homer Jack Daniel's whiskey. Right
my head burned to the ground for the third time.

(04:50):
After that, wooden structures were no longer allowed in Lynchburg. Well,
is that a lot of the whole town? Yeah? Nineteen
on a six shall kill O'Neil side of seven year,
one d twenty one million dollar contract with the l
A Lakers, and I think he signed a two million
dollar deal with Icy Hot the same day. He's an

(05:11):
endorsement machine. I tell me, was you tell me? Like?
He gives a party at his house and he brings
people in to tell him why he should be their
spokesman for the sounds like something he would do. That's
something I would do. I can afford it, I guess. Yeah.
And finally on this date, No. Nine, the crew of
the Space Shuttle Endeavor reached the International Space Station. The

(05:33):
addition of Endeavor's crew to the orbit made that the
greatest number of astronauts ever together in orbit, at a
total of thirteen, breaking the old record set by John
and Kate plus eight in space. Well there's the categories
one eight hundred. Big shows. You told free Line. Come on,
we'll play out burst next. Good Monday morning. It's a

(06:20):
big sean a radio video today, brought you by a
Happy Jack Veterinary Products. Oh yeah, I ain't look bad again.
I put it together and I can't remember. It's gotten old,
ain't fun? Rayford was right, Well it is Monday morning.
Was changed? It come in sit downs? Back to everything

(06:40):
to be ready, I know as I will get back
to it. There, let's go ahead and get to win it.
Beginning up, Let's play Uppers. It's the game that anyone
can win. John Boy and Bully give your places from

(07:04):
the Big Price Game. Let's go contesting number one. This
should be a lot of fun when you're playing up,
having hurry up and guest time you love the best
time you love a big shot. Sha Hey, Chris from

(07:24):
a Rocky Mount, Birginia. Good morning, Chris, good morning, how
are you? Hey? We're good. Welcome in here, coming out
of Rocky Mount. Get a week of winning going here, buddy,

(07:45):
lie pressure on you. Alright, Johnny seems out the one
that's feeling it yet. M all right, and I put
my three days in history. I just had them here.
So what did I do with him? I don't know?
All right, Yeah, y'all go in behind to clean it up.
You know, we we got a whole show to do here. Yeah, hey, alright,

(08:10):
was was that my Coby? Yes? I thank you very much, Marcy.
And what are you doing with it? By the way,
dold trials animor not? Here we go. But I got
the categories, Chris, and I know you're ready for him,
So let's do it in five seconds. We need three
liquors ready to go vodka that's my lero alright, sorry

(08:35):
old Google jumping. Now we need three high paying jobs
ready go? I think so and rom Now three things
on the space shuttle. Speaking of space you ready go?

(09:00):
And connectication occations is a very important. Already, I got
it all out, Chris. That is you? Anybody you got
the big old Mount Olive pickles price back, head up
the Rocky Mount for you, alright, man, hang on with
Jackie Bottom of the hour Toppy on news Hey. Right

(09:23):
on the other side, we get our Andy Taylor Monday,
going ll look back at the PR department here, look,

(10:05):
good morning, Big Shows on already. I'll tell you more
about it about thirty minutes. But we got too classic
Andy Griffith comedy alms on the finals, my wonderful things
to get away of the week, and we're celebrating that
with Andy Taylor. We go back and looking some fun
we had in our PR department. It all started when
we just got on the air in making Georgia. Uh Randy,

(10:26):
you need to call Marty. You know how many years
we've been on in making down thirty five? All right,
I just made that. I don't know. Well, uh now
I'm gonna make you look it up. Okay, Okay, I'm waiting,
I'll go ahead. Alright. So anyway, this started right after

(10:48):
we first went on the air in making Georgia. All right,
history on the Big Show. I remember it like was
one letters get letters every day. Letters. I love those letters,

(11:17):
say boy. Actually, the US Postal Service for delivering mail
to the Big Show there's one here. Dear John Boy
and Bill On behalf of about forty five people here
at a party in Macon, Georgia. You guys really suck
big time on your big show. Number one, play more music.

(11:43):
Number two, quit the good old boy crap. It sucks.
Number three. If you're going to tell jokes, are funny stories,
make sure they're funny. Number four, Ye, just keep your
prejudice mouth shut where writing this and a petition to
the radio station to drop you soon or lose listener, please,

(12:10):
I'm sorry. Plus the fact that you part probably put
down the DJs and radio station that broadcast you pull
out of making before you humiliate yourself anymore, Signed making
Nights United against John Boy and Billy Well, whenever we

(12:31):
have a rough one like that, we bring in our
director of public relations, Mr Taylor, And that's it. That's it.
This is my phone right this morning. Good morning there, John,
and good morning. Do you make an act well as
mine be used to say, who licked the red off

(12:53):
your game? Forty five of you sitting around there talking
about the big show? Well, first of all, let me
say this sounds like one wild party, Yes, sir, one
wild party. Let's see what y'all are talking about their
number one? Play more music? Where now any idiot could

(13:16):
get on air and play a bunch of music. But
then we ain't talking about any idiot. We're talking about
John Boy and Billy. Number two. Quit the good old
boy crap. It's uhs all. It sounds like y'all think
John Boy and Billy are putting on Now that hurts.

(13:37):
Anybody's listening to these fellers knows that they ain't got
no idea what you're here and see that's who they are.
Number three. If you're gonna tell jokes, are funny stories,
make sure they're funny. Well, now I can't really argue
with that. Yeah, sir, you've hit the nail right square

(13:57):
on the head with that one, Yes, sir, squire on
the head. And number four right law, you don't want
to open up at me. That's a whole another kettle
of fish. Yes, are a whole another. Now, this hair
petition about them pulling out for they humiliate themselves anymore,

(14:21):
I believe this a little late to be threatening these
hair boys with a thing like that. Remember now it's
called the John Boy and Billy shyall buys. You I
just get all about that petition. Let me just say
making nights, we appreciate you, right, and then next time
y'all are planning to have a party, maybe y'all could
look into some of what you call structure that kills.

(14:44):
It's like, oh, I don't open the tail on the
Donker twist. Or here's a thought, why don't y'all do
a little bit of drinking that livens things right up
around these parts? Yes, sir, livens at up right and
night again, we appreciate your right and night. John Boy

(15:06):
and Billy, y'all act like he got some smartarts. Yeah, morning,

(15:43):
big shows on the radio, Roll into your Monday. Alrighty
with no action. Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse
today's episode The Doctor's Notes. As our story opens, retired
businessman Herman Glickman is playing a visit to his doctor.

(16:03):
Good morning, Mr Glickman. I'm Dr Moran, and I understand
you're here for a medical referral where Dr mcgilla cutty. Oh,
he's doing an emergency surgery at the hospital. I'm filling in.
But if you need a referral, I can help you
with that. Yeah, well, okay, here's the deal. A couple
of months ago, my wife Sophie and I were in

(16:25):
the middle of a romantic interlude when I started having
chest pains. She called Dr mcgilla Cutty took care of
me at the hospital. He saved my life. Well, how
are you feeling lately? Right? I feel so good. I
want to get back in the game in the bedroom.
But Sophie's not so sure. She would pretty freaked out
by that heart attack. She doesn't want to do anything

(16:47):
that might give me another one, so she wants me
to get a note that says I'm clear to get
jiggy again. Is that weird? Well, actually it's very common,
and I'd be happy to write one for you. Oh
and what would it say exactly? Well, I think it
sounds something like this. Dear Mr Glickman, this letter is

(17:07):
dear Mrs Glickman. This letter is way long hours. Dear
Mrs Glickman. This letter is to confirm that Mr Glickman
is healthy enough for sexual activity. His heart medication, CARDIACS
is very effective and it has the positive effect of
enhancing his performance to that of a man half his age.

(17:29):
I believe you will both be delighted with the results.
Dot dot dot dash Dash dash, Sincerely, doctor Margaret Moran,
m D dot dot dot liking poetry. Yeah that sounds good. Hey,
could you do one small change? Oh you want to
do the Mr Thing? No? Sure, what's that? What can
I do first? Mrs Glickman? Could you make it the

(17:50):
whom and make concerned? We hope you've enjoy Boy, John
Boy and Billy playhouse under them top two buttons. You
can have one of them nuts for yourself. Tune in
again next time, or hear the crusty old surgeon at
hair Club for men say, hey, big man, let me

(18:11):
hold it dollar You morning, and you got a big
show on the radio, more chance if you to win?
Coming up after your news weather ands barts. This is
Donald Trump and you're listening to the big Show on
the radio, John Boy and Billy. These guys are tremendous
right now. That the number one John Boy and Billy

(18:33):
I've ever heard. And I know a lot of John
Boy and Billy, trust me, a tremendous amount of John
Boy and Billies. And there's some smaller shows. But this
is the big show. It's the big show on your radio.
I think that's how John Boy says, big Show on
the radio. Good morning, and make sure on the radio.

(19:26):
All right. So my wonderful things in the week is
to give away number thirty five out of the office.
I got two classic Andy Griffith comedy albums on final
got Andy Griffith and Cleopatra from and we've got songs,
themes and laughs from the Andy Griffiths Show sixty one.

(19:47):
So that's cool stuff and you can have them, give them.
You can't listen to him, but you see them at
the Big Show dot com. And we'll be giving them
away on Friday. And that's Berta thinking about how the
fun we've had made very are in Andy Taylor over
the years back in the PR department. Man, this is
to tell him old here stuff we didn't It surprises me.

(20:08):
I just loved it. Imagine how if you're like me
and you wrote half of g I'm in it. I
don't remember what happened, know it? He wrote it? Yeah,
but this deal about the parakeet, Uh oh they I
think the listener that wrote in had a parakeet named
after you and Billy and well maybe something went wrong

(20:32):
because we had to call in Andy Taylor from PR. Well, anyway,
that's a cool thing. Let's I'll find out that is
coming up in minutes. It's a fun Monday show, Big
Show rolls on, Good morning, got a big show on
the radio. All right, you're ready for and detector Here
in the second first day, we're getting ready to play
John boyd Jeopardy. The winner is gonna get a Live

(20:54):
Slow prize back Lives Slow as a new lifestyle Brandon
movement out of southern Virginia celebrating because ranchers and farmers.
This week's shirt a Live Slow original. You go to
Live Slow dot farm or the Big Show dot com.
Click on the Live Slow banter. Get all of the tails,
all the cool swag. We're giving you a cool trucker's

(21:14):
head or that Lives Slow logo. Is that that orange
triangle like you said on the back of tractors farm equipment?
Oh you is awesome man, So hang on. We'll play
for it in minutes. But first, letters, Oh we get letters.
We get your letters every day, mail man, mail man,

(21:38):
mail to day, rip right in and pull out letters.
That's fine. That what you got to say, mail today?
All right? All the way I thought that's reached right
in and pull all right, Thank you. Ll brings a

(22:00):
letter today. But this letter requires a set up because
we've talked about this on the Big Show and it
came from a newspaper paper article in the Wilmington's Star
from Wilmington, North Carolina. Billy, will you highlight that for us?
A little problem done in Brunswick County at Sandy Creek.
Lady named Patricia Caffee had a couple of parakeets, and
to make a long story short, what happened is she

(22:22):
came home and found a snake, a rat snake in
the cage with one of her two parakeets. Yeah, of course,
she just freaked out. She called nine one one, and
as it turned out, it took him a long time
to get there because they had the wrong address in
the computer database on one. So it's fifteen minutes. She
starts hollering for the neighbors and they come over, dragged

(22:45):
the cage out into the yard, open it up, and
they dragged the snake out and kill it with a pitchfork.
But it was too late. It was too late. One
of the birds was eaten. And uh and the story, uh,
it talks about the names of there and see they
pulled the cage out using a pitch for open the case,
let the snake out. The other parakeet, John Boy, was
at the top of the cage avoiding the snake. Now,

(23:07):
so one of the pair of keys was named John Boy,
and it says after radio personality John Boy his name
on and it says here why Ona is named after
a country singer Winona Judd, and John Boy is named
after morning radio show host John Boy. And and y'all
started it, Uh Randy, I think you jumped in and said, oh,
that's just like you know, John Boy up in the

(23:28):
top of the cage watching why Nona get eaten? And
no dabta hollering do what you want to the girl,
but leave me alone. As much talked about that a
little bit too, was odd. Listener sent it in. Well,
this letter today is from Patricia Caffey. Dear John Boy,
I've been an avid listener to your show for several

(23:50):
years now. Friday, I was not listening, but have heard
from many of my co workers that you discussed the
situation that occurred in my home the previous Sunday. I
returned home to find a four and to have foot
snake in my parakeets cage. The snake was in the
process of attacking my female, I was unable to get
any help for what seemed like an eternity. When all
was said and done, my female was devored. I think

(24:13):
that should be well, no wonder she's feeling like this.
That's that's a lot worse. So so, yeah, of course devoured.
I understand that you handled this in a very insensitive manner.
I realized that your show was comedy based, but this
was indeed a very horrifying experience for me. Consider this.
Had this happened to your wife, would you have handled

(24:34):
it in this way? I am truly disappointed in you.
Sometimes funny is not worth the feelings of others. Patricia Caffee,
Sandy Creek, North Carolina. Well, sounds like I'm gonna have
i'm sorry coming up. So let's bring in our Director
of Sorry Operations, Mr Taylor. Uh, Good morning there, John Boy,
morning there, Billy, and good morning to you, Miss Caffey.

(24:57):
Let me first of all, say, director of Sorry Operations,
I ain't real sure I like that name. Y'all are
a mocking me, aren't you. Well, let's see here, it
looks like we've got us another comedy based incident. That's
took a very horrifying turn, y'all beat everything. You know

(25:17):
that John Boys started talking about something where his name
come up in it and it ended up going south
on you will, miss Cathy, if you're really and truly
an avid listener, this ort not to come as a
complete surprise. First off, you got these here birds named
Why Nona and John Boy. Now take it from me,

(25:38):
right from the get go, you're just asking for troll.
Then you got this snake coming in your high sir,
and he eats one of your birds. And when it
turns out the one that got it was why Ona
and the one up in the top of the Caja
Holler and his John Boy. Well, ma'am, you should have
just had somebody mosey on over and stick a fork
in you because you were done. The only thing would

(26:02):
have been worse is if John Boy had been the
one that ed Why No. So you know, if you
back up a little bit and squint real hard while
you're looking at it, it could have been worse, yes, ma'am. Ah.
Now you say here, if this had happened to your wife,
would you have handled it this way? Well? No, See

(26:24):
John Boy's wife does have a pet named John Boyd.
But it ain't a bird, it's a big old jackass.
And see in a fight with a rat snake, we
reckon the jackass could more than hold his own. And
you close your letter by saying, sometimes funny is not
worth the feelings of others. Well, now we've done some

(26:45):
studying about that, and we figured in this case it
was worse, Miss Caffy. John boy don't mean to be insensitive.
It's just when his name comes up he gets a tickled.
He has a hard time of thinking up and straight
thinking ain't something that comes natural to him, even in
the best of circumstances. So you can see what we

(27:07):
was up against here. I mean, I told the Fellers
we are to do something about this situation. I asked
how much a parakeetic costs at the pet store, and
Billy said he reckoned it be about twenty five or
thirty dollars. I said, I thought it'd be a good
idea if one of us went down to the pet
store and bought one. Well, John boy said, what fair?
They ain't hardly got no meat on them. And what's

(27:28):
there looks to be a might strain you to make
you think your feelings is hurt. Now, imagine how upset
you to Ben if you'd heard that. Of course, come
to think of it, now that I just told it
to you have her. Well, ma'am, we want to make
this thing right with you. If we can fix you
up with another bird to replace old Wine on it,
you just let us know. And if you're looking for

(27:50):
a name for this here new bird, here's a suggestion
sent you other in his name, John Boy. What you're
to do is get you a robbing with a big
old red breast on it and name it that bird
from Baywater. Then you wouldn't have to worry about nobody
nibbling on of course for old John Boy. So Johnny

(28:12):
sending that woman to check for thirty dollars and next
time y'all act like he got some smarts. Uh, I'm sorry,
that's good, good stuff. The story of the loomis Fargo Heights,

(28:38):
which the Big Show was somewhat involved in about an
hour not in the Criminals, no Ah, Let's play. John
boyle that big old live slow prize pact after completing
his painting and the Sisteen chapel showing Adam reaching out
for the hand of God. The Catholic Church accused Michael

(28:58):
Angelo of hair to see because he had depicted Adam
with one of these on his body. What is a
trap stamp? And where did that come? You have to
have more clothes on. What y'all got one ain't under
the Big Show? You told free line across America, we
played John boyd Jeopardy Next. Well, good Monday morning. Do

(29:48):
you lot of eight teens? Bridge a g get enough
guinea work we got? Would it makes you on the radio?
Start our radio the day all for the week. We
got a good by the way is brought to you
by Happy Jack and Veterinary Products. Never give it all.
You got great advice here on Monday morning morning that

(30:10):
you can see it for yourself. Get you a quick laugh. Also,
we call this the Mary O Rooster. Is that the
Big Show dot com? And right now let's play Yes
Live a cross. Eric yeats now Americ says it's not

(30:32):
really fair that only chickens are allowed to start the
day's screaming John Boy, and that you let's say hey
to Chris out of Cernersville, North Carolina. Good morning, Chris,
Good morning, John Boy, Good morning Billy. How y'all doing
this morning? Man? We're all awesome, Chris, welcome in here, buddy.

(30:53):
All right, were you first up? And you can figure
out the painting of Adam reaching out for the end
of God and the Sistine Chapel. Why did they accuse
Michaelangelo of harrisy because he had depicted Adam with one
of these on his body? What could it be? Chris,
I'm taking a stab in the dark and I'm gonna

(31:14):
say hair. Okay, let's see. Is it hair? Give me
like just like on his back. I would imagine Adam
have a nice head of hair. Bye, Chris, Hey man, Well,

(31:35):
we appreciate you playing, buddy. You you can dry in
any time. All right, sounds good, Thank you. I appreciate you, man.
This go to Todd. He's over in lugolf, North Carolina.
Good morning, Todd, Carolina. Okay, in South Carolina. Oh that's
South Carolina. Jacket, that's Todd. If you win, don't worry.

(31:57):
You know, Jackie asked you twice and get your correct address.
I've heard her. Oh so uh so, Todd. We're looking
for what did Adam have on his body that had
Catholics all fired up? A belly budden, let's say yes.

(32:17):
I don't remember that from the painting. But I guess
I would notice there's a lot going on in the painting.
It was so yeah, because and of course you know why,
because like Adam was made of dust, right, So the
belly button comes when you're impregnated from a woman. Oh
I'm sorry a birthing person. Okay, I don't know how

(32:41):
to respond sarcastically, like good work, buddy, but go live
slow price back headed down the lug off for you,
my man. That's awesome man listening. I was like, well,
we appreciate you, man. You hang on there all right. Yeah, well,

(33:05):
Randy should show me the picture sistein chavel. There you can.
Adam's belly button stands out. You got a little pooch,
You've got a little one of them little beer poachers.
There's a lot going on in there. Let's jump out
and get you up on your news. Right on the
other side of our time capsule. But it's jew lotta eighteen.

(33:27):
Then we've got a brand new enter into the diary
of Gary Busy about twenty minutes. This is the award

(34:03):
winning John Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number
one export. Hello, ladies, look at your man. Now look
at me. Now back to your man. Now back to me. Now,
let me take a look at your man. Your man

(34:25):
is actually not a bad looking dad oh man, But
sadly he's not me. He doesn't look like me, and
he doesn't smell like me. Say, is your man using
one of those ladies scented body washes? Really? You know?
On him? It kind of works. Where are you now,
I'm on a boat. Does your man you sunscreen? He should?
The sun does terrible things to the skin. Of course,

(34:46):
your man's skin is actually quite nice. What's in my hand?
It's an oyster and inside two tickets to that thing
you love. Why don't you call one of your girlfriends
from work and the two of you have an evening
out on me? Look again, the tickets are now diet.
Maybe you and your girlfriend could sell a few and
take up enough cash to pay for a real girl's
weekend and can cool. Oh, don't worry about leaving your

(35:07):
man behind. I'll be glad to keep him company. I'm
a man who enjoys hanging out with other men. Before
you go, tell me about you and your man. What's
your situation? Are the two of you, you know, serious
or is this just a casual thing. My man and
I have what we call an understanding. We know that
a man can enjoy the company of another man without
there being any heavy emotional stuff. It's like two guys

(35:28):
going to the gym. Now your man and I are
in a gym. The whole place is full of men
who use Lady scented body washes. Your man fits right in.
Would your man like to grab something to eat later?
I know a great little sushi place. Now your man
and I are in a great little sushi place. Your
man is freshly showered, but he still has the rosy
glow of a vigorous workout. Your man doesn't really want
to call it a night this early, does he? Does

(35:50):
your man like to dance? Come on, I can tell
he's got some moves. Now your man and I are
in a nightclub. We're on the dance floor. Your man
is shaking it like a polaroid picture. Why his phone rings,
it's you calling from Cancoon to see how it's going.
He lets the call go to voicemail. I wouldn't read
too much into that. Now your man and I are
doing yeager shots at the bar. Your man says, you're

(36:11):
kind of stifling him lately. He says he needs some space.
He thinks once you get back from Cancoon, the two
of you need to have a serious talk. He's discovered
things about himself he never knew before, and to be
perfectly honest, he's not sure you have a place in
the new life. He's planning there. He said it. Now
you're crying. Your man is apologizing. He didn't plan this.
It just kind of happened. He says. It's not you,

(36:33):
it's him. He's packing up his stuff and moving out.
He thinks you're a great girl and you'll find the
right guy before you know it. Your man hates that
look in your eyes. He never meant for this to happen,
but if it wasn't me, it would have been somebody else.
Your man has to be true to who he really is. Here,
I'm giving you another handful of diamonds to cheer you up.
Your man and I will never forget you. We're riding

(36:54):
off together into the sunset. We're on a horse. John
Boy and Dilly, Good morning radio, dumb right, your morning

(37:46):
as makes you a radio? Swerving through Friday morning? Who
get swerving in lane in back twenty minutes looking for
today right now, all right, gether around on. It's time
for the Diary of Gary Busey. Dear diary, this is

(38:09):
Gary Busy. When I was new in this business called show,
I watched a lot of great stars pass on without
leaving any sort of progenal legacy. Sure, I got lots
of kids running around. I even know some of them,

(38:30):
But can the world ever really have enough busy's? So
for the last few years, I have made enough point
to stop in every couple of weeks, tell my local
uh DNA collection agency and make a deposit. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yah yeah. A lot of recipients never know they're gonna
be birth in the genuine busy baby, But every once

(38:52):
in a while I get contacted by one of them
lucky dogs. And last week I got invited to an
honest to god baby shower from a couple who partook
of abuse head a Jane Pool. I gotta tell you,
I was looking forward to meeting the mother of my
new child. Don't care if it's a her him. All
I know is my boys can swim upstream, up stream,

(39:15):
don't need a paddle, grab a trout, put all the saddle.
I decided to show up late, for one, is all
the way over in West Hollywood. The traffic is terrible.
But I also figured I let all my fans get
there early so they can experience the dazzling effect of

(39:36):
a real by God beauty entrance. I pulled up as
a nice place. Well kept a lot of cars out front.
They must all belong to the same club or something,
because every single car had one of them rainbow stickers
on the window, probably a swim club or something. I

(39:56):
walked up, swung the front door open, and jumped in.
Here's Gary. Hasn't happened in a long time, but my
entrance was so perfect. They was all speechless. They all
sat there bug god know what, after they got over

(40:17):
the initial shock that they'd be hob nobbing with a
genuine Hollywood superstar. I settled in kind of a new
age crowd. It lots of weird colored hair, tattoos and Pierson's.
I got a real alternative lifestyle vibe, if you know
what I mean. And I thought to myself, whole brother,

(40:39):
if there was ever a group that could use some
by God a beauty jeans, it was this bunch breaks
and weirdos. Listen up, you're about to have abousy pup.
It'll change your life beyond belief. But don't get too
close look at those teeth. I sat there for almost Sonara,

(41:01):
drinking too buck chuck from Trader Joe's and eating many
kishas till I got the bloat, and I still hadn't
met the mama. Now, I'm a patient man, Diary, but
when a fella is on the verge of being a
daddy again, he starts to get the ants in his pants. Heads.
Don't mean to be bitch here, but I met you
in twitch. I finally just stood up and said, as

(41:22):
the fella responsible for tonight's proceedings, I'd sure like to
meet the mama. Place went so bad, gum quiet you
have thought, I said, Johnny Depth was framed. By that time.
This chunky dude with one of them hitting miss beards
and a potbelly and a silk Kimona comes over to

(41:43):
me and gives me one of them limp fish handshakes
and says I'm the mother a sort of choco. But
then I realized that this whispy pants load was one
of them craignant dudes I'd heard about a little Lord,
have mercy. I'm waking the knees. My child's mama stands

(42:05):
up to pe well diary. By the time I come
to most of the guests that left, I sat there
with a happy couple for a spell. The guy is
supposed to be the daddy had spiky green hair and
then big hula hoops in his ear lobes. His front

(42:27):
tooth was pierced. All that happened, I have no idea.
He went by the name of Fluffy and the mama.
The fat guy in the kimono was a guy named Flossy.
What the hell I tried to get him to change

(42:49):
their names is something like Warden June or Azaid Harry.
They weren't having none of it. I started looking for
hidden cameras, you know. I was thinking maybe the impractical joke,
as we're having a good life on Old Gary. Nope,
it's all real. They proved it. Showed me the ultrasound.
It was mine all right, already had a glass eye

(43:12):
and a full set of choppers. What did Mother nature did?
How can a man have that gum kid? Not sure
what it's all about, but how the hell is the
kid getting out? End up? Quote repeat the line the
whole dad world has lost his mind, Bill, Diary, I

(43:32):
finally went to a doctor and had them explained to
me how dude could calf a kid. It's pretty gross,
and I know gross. Accidentally slept with Kathy Griffin a
couple of times. I just hate to think that valuable
busy juice was wasted on some sort of island of

(43:53):
Doctor Moreau experiment. But I reckon it. About eighteen years
Fluffy and Flossy will get tired of it, especially when
he starts peeing off the front porch and word dog
in housewives like his old man, the old Gary will
swoop in and rescue him, and we'll celebrate in true
Beausey style a trip to the bunny ranch and a

(44:13):
psycamic ribs strip on down to your b v ds.
When you're done with a hooker, it's picking knees well, Diary,
I gotta ski daddle. Clint Howard and Billy Bob Thornton
and I are gonna help me break into those places.
I donated my DNA to getting it out of harm's way.

(44:35):
I ain't going through this again now on. I'll make
all my delivery is in person. How how how how
Until next time? Diary x and O Gary, it's a

(45:00):
big show on your radio. Thanks for joining us this morning. Hey,
this is Adam Chann here listening to the Big Show
with John Brydon muting. Good Monday morning, Big shows on

(45:43):
the radio. Appreciate your gig and you work with golf
win us. Preciate our bus. Some old Pinelo Premium Pub
and getting us going with some good old food. You
know I love and chicken wings for brunch and they
are delivering this morning and I'm one of mine, Joe,
Old Pineblo Premium Pub. There's participating in Queen's fest, hasn't
big Charlotte, North Carolina. Restaurant week starts this Friday and

(46:06):
runs through the thirty feet over a couple of weekends
and painting boys Little Palmwoll Pub. Three course meal with
a glass of wine, all for thirty five bucks. Have
you been out wining and dining lately? That is a deal,
especially with a greg food and service and fun. They
got an old Pombo Premium Pub. Take them out no

(46:26):
matter where you are Old Pineville Premium Pub dot com.
All then boy entertainer having fun by the big loomas
Fargo Highs. Remember that is that still some of the
largest money that was stolen fargo out of Charlotte, North Carolina,
and we were a part of that story. We needed
Andy in on that one, but they covered their tracks.

(46:47):
So well, yeah, yeah, alright, that's coming up in minutes.
Bigshell rolls on. Good morning, got a bach on the radio.
All right, going to Andy Taylor in the p R
department here in just a sec. First, let me tell
you about the price back we're gonna play for the
current events quiz. It's a hat, t shirt, tumbler and

(47:08):
a twenty five dollar gas card from law Tigers. Law
Tigers motorcycle lawgers who ride representing injured writers for over
two decades. With law Tigers, you never ride alone. To
the Big Show dot com, click on that law Tiger's
banner and learn more. Hang on, we'll play in minutes
back down of the days where wells utilizing our PR department.

(47:30):
Mr Andy Taylor, Rolette, Well, good morning, their failers pay Jackie,
How are you how y'all doing this fine morning? Oh
and speaking of fine mornings, I come down the stairs
this past Saturday morning. My wife hands me the newspaper.
She says, you boys got some front page coverage here
I don't mind telling you when she says that, I

(47:52):
get a my nervous, especially when I've seen the headline
wistful but witty thief looks back now Friday being paid day.
All I could think is, well, law John Boy has
finally decided to retire. And I read the first part
of the story says here on the morning of his

(48:13):
final day working for Loomas Fargo and Company, David Scott
Gant kissed his sleeping wife, hopped in his pickup truck,
and turned his radio to the John Boy and Billy Show.
The song he recalls a hearing take the money and run,
and I reckon he did there. It is right there

(48:34):
in black and white. Proved positive at this Loomas Fargo
bunch was fans of the big Shop, as if their
skills at managing money wasn't enough of all. But you
know what, the way this feller from the newspaper is
a talent and it almost sounds like he's trying to
blame y'all. Fardner signing like he is some kind of

(48:55):
pied pipers for the white trash underworld say, and I
want to say what this idea is full of? But well,
if you dump a load of it in your garden,
it'll bring up some pretty good sized tomaters. After all,
y'all just doing what y'all do, trying to get folks
ready to meet the days. Of course, most folks that

(49:15):
listen to y'all shows on the way to work at
the mall or the car lot or maybe a nice
office somewheres. This feller's planned for the day, just having
to be running off with seventeen million dollars that didn't
exactly blonde. But can't nobody hold y'all liable for folks
do all that nervous energy you're feeling full of. And

(49:37):
it ain't cause of that loud rackety music. People ain't
neat it's here acting out the song things. See, this
is something that ain't never happened four I except for
maybe that one friday. Remember that feller that decided he
didn't want to work and stayed home and banged on
the drum all day. I hear you, boys, is also
getting mentioned on one of them America's stupid this wonted

(50:00):
Criminals progress. Well, now your mama's must be just busting
with pride on that and that big chunky feller that
helps y'all with the playhouse on Fridays. Why he's a
playing the leader of the gang right there on TV, Yes, sir,
he is. And he's a wearing one of y'all's T shirts.

(50:21):
You boys are gonna be the center of attention at
the family picnic this year, Yes, sir, you surely on.
In case y'all missed it. That was what we call
ironic state. Because I'll be honest with you, sometimes I
worry about y'all hooking you wagging up to every jackassid
comes and walking back. Now see this here loom is

(50:41):
far ago gang. Now, bless their hearts. I don't know
him personally. They might have some real fine qualities, but
they're about the dumbest bunch of criminals I ever Here
tell Us and here y'all are puffing you chest out
about how they love the big shot like that little
wormy Feller on Saturday Night. I've used to say it's
called a clue. Look into it now to these fellers

(51:06):
from the Armored Car Robbery. I hated to call y'all
a name like that, but considering the circumstances, y'all was
kind of asking for and then closed. And I'll just
say the same thing to you that I want to
say that John Boy and Billy and the people on
the show here y'all act like he got some smart

(51:27):
Mr Taylor. Yes, alright, make a part of history once again.
You know, I think we need to bring him in more.
Why do we screw up again? I shouldn't take longer? Alright,
we got that long tiger's price pack. Let's play forward
right now in the current events quiz Bidley, what are
we dealing with? The hottest new cocktail of the summer

(51:48):
is actually a throwback to the nineteen thirties. All right,
Big Show you told free Line you take see you
will win. We play next. Good Monday morning, Big Shows

(52:23):
on the radio Video today brought you by a habit Jack,
Veterinary products for your dog, cat and the horse wattle
at all tractor supply stores. Never give it all you got.
Learn why when you cruise the Big Show dot com
get you a quick life and right now that's why.

(52:45):
God Yeah. Clayton from Duncan, Oklahoma on line, Good morning Clayton,
good morning jamming out the brothers. Johnson back there that

(53:06):
a boy look at you knowing that was that strawberry
alarm clock, no strawberry. All right, Clayton man, look at
you know your music? Well, let's see if you pass
this little quiz we got right here. Let's listen to Midley. Well.
Child actress Shirley Temple was America's movie sweetheart back in
the nineteen thirties. She grew up to be Shirley Temple Black,

(53:29):
who served as US ambassador to Czechoslovakia for many years,
and she's also the namesake of the Shirley Temple, the
fizzy alcohol free cocktail for kids. Well, believe it or not,
the Shirley Temple has become the number one cocktail of
the summer for adults thanks to a modified recipe with
the grown up twist. It's got a shot of liquor.

(53:52):
It's called the Dirty Shirley and shell like gangbusters and
bars all across America. The New York Times ran a
story about it recently, and the hashtag Dirty Shirley is
trending on Instagram. The Times article says nostalgia for childhood
is a big part of the Dirty Shirley's popularity, and
there are several different recipes for it too. For example,

(54:14):
a when it's made with dark rum it's a Shirley
Temple black be with fruit flavored vodka. It's the good
Ship Lollipop or see with a double shot of Yeager Master.
It's the Temple of Doom. You know this all retired

(54:35):
sailor has tried all you about. I believe I'm going
to have to take sea man, retired sailor. Was you
official like in the navy two years on the East Coast? Man?
Awesome Clain. We're proud to have you listening up, Dan Duncan, Oklahoma,

(54:56):
and glad you won, buddy, We'll get you a prize.
Pick I was jumping down, catching you up on your
news right on the other side and having a little
made very Monday when need be R five four nine
coming on? Yeah, yeah, Morning Banks shows on the radio,

(55:51):
running through your Monday? Did you lout of eighteen and
b R five four nine? May you berry haveam? I
like this? All good visuals? Just picture it in your minds?
All right, we'll do me that favorite. What the hell
is wrong with you here? Looking at y'all? Didn't make sense?

(56:20):
All right? Were you? Yes? I'm sorry? I love his
buck music man. I gave hesly this job gave me
I gotta hit the post. Hey, well you missed it
about half ago. Mr Feasley, how about you put the
microphone down up. Let's let these nice people go home,

(56:40):
all right there b R five four nine. Don't tell
any don't tell me of looking for it or be
in me. Tell him weird dad, or tell him here me,
and don't be down by the phone. I will ever
right down from home grown and want me up the

(57:02):
side of the head. I never felt that way. Ain't
be said deep be in the CHAMPI share of ever
caught us smoking that stuff. I don't tell any do
tell ain't be. They will come looking more on me
at twna were dad, or tell a we're gon be.
Don't be down by the duck bone. And I heard

(57:32):
a little holler down him the woods the satellite, someone
saying good moving little foods are seeking just like a squirrel,
old ass slurping dumba's favorite girl. Oh to said, boys,
come sit by the still, I bore you up a
jar of that famous well. If he can't walk, don't

(57:54):
worry old way like that time to passing my way.
I don't tell any, don't tell a thing they were
I'm looking for me emty, tell awhere, Dad, or tell
awhere gon be go be down by the double phone.

(58:18):
I had to do the rock that was hitting the
tree out of the swamp. Ain't heard team. We're going
to the fashion as a hit at pipe out of
the blue. Can't party where party found? And then back
still women and act of all. That's thrill boat. Don't

(58:39):
smoke you turn yourself cream, give me him a club.
Then I told your blood I mean, but don't tell
an it. Don't tell ain't been that will I'm a
looking for will be at me? Tell them where dad,
or tell them we go be down by the dog
phone renting bag. Right there comes Andy. You go like me,

(59:07):
it's going to hell. I don't be empty, don't tell
any don't tell at peace. They will come look at Gord,
will be empty, Tell him we're dead, or tell them
we're God. Go down by the doe. Oh be it

(59:51):
a back re good morning, and it's a big shoan

(01:00:18):
radio without further ado, Here is Mr Rhubarb, Thank you
gimmy to beat. Hello, boys and girls. This is your
friendly but strangely off putting old pal, Mr Rubar, And
this is Mr Rubarb's summertime story time. Today's story The

(01:00:39):
Drum and the loot loot the musical well. In the
fifteenth century village of hammertow on Roight, the local church
was led by an angry priest who spent every Sunday
accusing all of the worshippers of backsliding and drunkenness. Had

(01:01:00):
a great recipe for growing your church members. Well, the
priest decided to kick it up a notch. He asked
a local woodsmith to make him a large drum. Every Sunday,
the priest started beating the drum loudly and calling on
the drunks and backsliders to confess their sins. Well, this's
got plenty of attention, but wasn't great for bringing in

(01:01:23):
a lot of new members. But as it happens, a
wondering minstrel who lived in the town was a member
of the church. He played quite soothing music on a
small string instrument called the lead loot. The minstrel went
to the priest and told him the whole angry drum
thing wasn't working and he might attract a bigger crowd

(01:01:45):
with some soothing loot teams. But the priest said, I'm
not here to soothe people. My job is to wake
them up and bring them to repentance. Well, knowing how
stubborn the priest was, the minstrel offered another suggestion, why
not have the drum and the lead. You can beat
the drum to call out their sins. Then I will

(01:02:08):
stroll among the people and soothe them with my leader. Well,
the priest reluctantly agreed to give it a truck. He
posted a sign outside the church that said, coming Sunday,
a soothing selection of special music. Well, the next Sunday,
the priest broke out his drum and the usual small
number of villagers came to the church. The wondering minstrel

(01:02:31):
stood beside him, ready to add a little loot smoothie
to the festival. But before he got a chance, one
woman in the crowd stood up and said, Aha, just
as I thought, there's nothing special or soothing about this
music at all. I refused to put up with this
angry racket for one moment longer, and she stormed out

(01:02:54):
of the church. The priest was puzzled. He turned to
the minstrel and said, what in the world is wrong
with that woman, to which the minstrel replied, if I
had to guess, I'd say she's got a really bad
case of the pre minstrel syndrome. Thank you, and that's

(01:03:16):
it for the summertime story time till next time. This
is Mr Rebar saying, this is Mr Rubar. Now I'm
gonna go loose the prize close, give me another one
of day. It's a big show on your radio. Thanks

(01:03:38):
for joining us this morning. Hello, Hello, yes, yes, Jeff
Goldlam Uh you know me from uh? I guess maybe,
but uh you're listening to none other than uh John
boy Ben Uh who's it Billy? Yes? John Bill Along

(01:04:01):
was just setting it up. It's just spend get that

(01:04:42):
morning and as it makes you on the radio, man,
we will go getting into the final hour. Already three
hours of broadcast excellence, all gonna be captured. A brand
new podcast on the John Boe Bill is Late Riser's
podcast after the broadcast is over the day, and we
still got the fame letters from uh Janine what's her name?

(01:05:08):
Doesn't sound that holly? Yeah, she was what do you
call him? Advertising? She wasn't too happy with not at all.
That's a lot. That'll be a final Andy Taylor more
than as we say, the best of the last, and
of course then we got the playhouse. We're going to

(01:05:28):
Mayberry to wrap things up in the playhouse. And I
gotta thank Old Poemo Premium Pub for fetus this morning.
They take care of us. Then, Uh, they're in our
big show neighborhood right Old Palmo Road, Shola, North Carolina.
Check him out Old Poembo Premium Pub dot com see
what we're talking about. And they are participating in Queen's Feast.
Our town were world headquarters shot in North Carolina's restaurant

(01:05:51):
week July twenty second, starting this Friday through the thirty
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all over the city. But you can get a three
course meal with a glass of wine for only thirty
five bucks at o'bama Premiums. And the good white wine
red wine depends on what you were to eating meter fish.

(01:06:14):
So are you are you? Are you saving the best
for last? Are planning to leave him wanting more? Because
right now we're trying to decide. Uh now we're pretty
far from either one. We still got another big hour
to go. Man, I was bragging on hell. The previous
three hours went right, sure better We got wordy word
to play man. My voice going all right, well, let's

(01:06:38):
roll on and you've been great. Thank you, Good morning,
got the Big Show on the radio. Hang on. Andy
Taylor standing by, gonna help us out again as we're
celebrating the Andy Griffith albums. My wonderful things that you
can win this week. Hang on for that. Want tell
you the price pack. It's a Happy Jack price pack
full of dog and cat products valued at fifty dollars.

(01:07:01):
Happy Jack is celebrating seventy eight years of veterinary products
for dogs, cats and horses. It's available at Better Farmer
garden stores including Tractors Supply always ask for Happy Jack.
You go to Happy Jack Inc. Dot com or The
Big Show dot com. Click on the Happy Jack banner.
Hang on, you win you some in minutes. Letters. Oh

(01:07:27):
we get letters every day. Letters boy boy? Alrighty, well

(01:07:50):
this letter, I don't little they listen or not? Not
really a little more like a business there with some
of our work. Let it as from Jan Holly Advertising
Productions Incorporated. Guys. I'm sure you are busy signing autographs
and such, but when we pay one hundred sixty in talent,

(01:08:13):
we expect one hundred sixty dollars worth of talent. The
read that you put on the king Ford commercial for
Rock one oh three in Columbus, Georgia sucks. We want
the commercial redone free of charge, and this time we

(01:08:34):
want you to do it with some feelings, some talent,
some seal, some meaning. We want you to sell our sale,
not merely read the copy quick as you can so
that you can get onto the next one. We expect
you to earn the high bucks you charge. I don't
mind paying top dollar for talent as long as I

(01:08:56):
get top talent for the dollar. And closed is a
cassette of your commercial after we doctored it up, along
with the original script. Please redo the commercial and send
it back down Buck one oh three, Columbus, Georgia Low.
If you need to discuss it with me, you can
reach me since sincerely, Jan W. Holly. So well, when

(01:09:22):
we got to cassette and we listened to it with
each other like we didn't take it sound that bad.
I mean, you know, you know second about oh, just
don't even let me start saying because it's just not
my area of expertise and believe it once. So let's
bring in Mr Taylor from our public relations department. Good

(01:09:44):
morning there, John Boy, morning Billy, and I might be
a waste in my time on this, and but good
morning to you, Jan. Once again this morning, I've seen
something I ain't never seen before, A need type written
business communication on professional letterhead that uses the word sucks.

(01:10:10):
I mean, I know them to mean boys Beavis and
butt Head run around saying it all the time. I
just ain't never run into it in a business letter before. Now, Jane,
I've heard the commercial, and I don't get me wrong,
I wouldn't start picking out my formal wear for the
advertising the lordship, But this word sucks. It seems like

(01:10:34):
a kindly harsh way to put it. I mean, these
fellers has done hundreds of commercials over the years, and
I personally have heard something that sucked a whole lot
worse than that. Yes, they're a whole lot, you know.
I got to quit using that word. My ain't Bee
would warm up the seat of my breeches if she
heard me talking about it. Anyway, Jan, sounds to me

(01:10:58):
like they did pretty much what you're wrote down here.
Got them Carridors of Slamming and the bad to the
Bone song and we got in all them little pearls
you wrote like yes, friends and neighbors and king means
business and a good deal and a good deal. More,
may I say you really dumped the whole bucket of

(01:11:21):
creativity into this, and yes, many you do. As far
as a delivery, we'll see this here is the John
Boy and Billy Show. I don't know if you've ever
heard it before, but well let me just say, if
you ask a jackass to sing, it ain't likely to
come out of sounding like the latest chart topping smash

(01:11:42):
from that boy Hootie and his Blowfish. That's part where
you say I'm sure you're busy signing autographs and such.
I believe I sense just a tad a resentment. Jan.
I want you to know I'm gonna get to the
bottom of this here controverse and if I find out

(01:12:02):
that this here commercial really does, where's that word again?
So we'll make it right until then, Well, like that
smart Alecky Feller on Saturday Night Live says it's called
the Dale Carnegie Course, look into And before I leave,

(01:12:22):
let me say, as claire as I know how that
we love the folks over there at king Ford Plumb
to death. We do. They some of the finest folks
in the entire state of Georgia. In fact, if you're
gonna buy you a car, I can't think of a
better place on God's green Earth where I'd rather go
to do it. If the manager is here right now,

(01:12:43):
I reckon Jackie'd probably run over to him and kiss
him square on the map. In fact, I'd be tempted
to give him a little peck on the job myself.
And Jan I want you to know, if you was here,
you could give me a big old kiss too, only
not on the map. By getting my dread, I thank
you for your time. John one, Danny, y'all lack like

(01:13:07):
he got some smartle has been fun. I realized over
the years how many people we've ticked off just being ourselves.
So that's a lot more than a well, let's play

(01:13:27):
wordy words fight amongst ourselves, how about it. Then they're
gonna have a jack prize pack one a hundred big show.
You told free line. We'll get a couple of contestants
saying play next. Good morning, it's a big show on

(01:14:02):
the radio. Getting ready for wordy war. You can't play
I got news quick. The on air contest button. When
you go to the Big Show dot Com. You can't
get food. Jack can call you and it goes every
once in a while. Somebody you would like to play against, friends,
family members, husband, wives, co workers. In fact, that's what

(01:14:25):
we got right here. Coming up, ry quick one to
tell you about the video today, brought you by Happy
Jack Veterinary Products. Never give it all you got. I
think you should watch it before you play. You around
the worthy word. Ready, we'll jack it out and make
you day to visit to the Big Show dot com.
And of course they're taking a classic bit requests off
the wall in minute right now, let's do it. I

(01:14:47):
had to everybody's head. I bite the bad any word
and a wordy word. Let's meet the co workers battling
in wording word today from a rolling out Virginia. We
got Tom, Good morning, Tom, baby, I was telling rolling up.
We got Tim, Good morning, Tim, good morning, Good morning.

(01:15:08):
All right, Tom and Tim. I guess y'all are in
the same location this morning, very close, very close, all right,
And I was all right, we're good boys. Welcome. Does
that have a little fun? First of all, can you
say what y'all do for a living? No, yeah there, alright, alright,

(01:15:33):
good damn man, I love sniffing y'all's paper. No, no,
that was about thirty five years now, and that was well.
I'm sure I would like the smell of their papers.
You wouldn't. All right, Well, let's just concentrate well stuff
I know about, like these words that me and Tom
are getting ready put on the ball, all right, all right, yeah, Tim,

(01:15:56):
your own Tater and Randy's team. Tom, you on the
John on Bella's size us what we're doing? All right,
Tommy and you are you ready? I'm ready? All right,
starting to clock now on Star Trek. They were the enemies.
They were the Yeah, alright, you put a mouse in
one of these. He tries to find his way out.
Also you can go to yeah, alright, a big band

(01:16:21):
with fiddles and everything. I mean, a fancy name for
a band. A conductor is over the big music, A
conductor and the electric light blank. Yes, man, what kind
of orchestra have you been? Fiddles? I was saying the

(01:16:46):
violence in my head when it came out of his fiddles,
you know, it was this weird thingtra trans going all right, Tom,
he put a three on the board. Let's see what
happens with Tim and Tater for there around one? Are
you ready Tim? Yeah? Ahead and go all right. It's

(01:17:07):
a blanket made out of patches, and it's puffy. Grandma
would make you, yep, a jock blank, jock blank, or
a bra Yes, this this guy calls foulsand strikes. You
might have this on your finger to get them from frogs. No, no, no,

(01:17:30):
it's part of your skin and it bubbles it not
bubbles up. It's in your skin and then it grows
a look at it, look at it at the orchestra,
A three on the board. So it's tied up all right.

(01:17:51):
You get it from a fiddle tier castle each other? Out,
Tom and Billy? Are you ready? Tom? And you're picking
up on that last one? Go a little round, a
little round bump that grows on your finger or your toe,
No reward, you go. You go see all kind of

(01:18:11):
exotic animals at this kind of place. Yep. When you're
shooting a ball and arrow? What sport is that? Ar? Yeah?
There you go. Not a comedy, but it's another kind
of a dramatic presentation. Oh, he said dramatic, He said dramatic.

(01:18:41):
Wouldn't that be drama? Uh, but part of well, Jackie,
you're the judge. This is why I didn't panic, because
Jackie is impossible to predict. On house's try to call
these things. That's right, it's just like up parts sometimes
to strike and will expand our contracted Randy Water to

(01:19:05):
bring out the video monitors and do a replay. He
is writing down dramatic. Okay, all right, well come on, man,
I know it's six to three. You got it, Randy
all you need you and Tim three to tie and
four will win and you will feel so much better.
But yourself, Jim, are you ready, buddy, Yeah, let's do it.

(01:19:29):
Three to tie, four to win. Brand new word go
at Christmas time. It's a carol. It's blank bells now
a different one. It's not it's not gold. It's all right,
um okay, So this is sitting on the dock of
the blank here, come on, load this ratting sitting on

(01:19:54):
the dock of the water. It's no a body of water. No,
it's not a lake. Unbelievable already. I'd like to pour
out that you used to work in Tampa, Babe, that
radio that was he still he got a four. Tom
wins four. So the co workers are fine. But Randy's

(01:20:20):
man that Jackie, Yeah, because your co workers are fine.
Our co workers are not. Dramatic drama. Drama is part
of I have been there so many times. Exactly all right,
thank you, exactly hey one time and Tim, y'all buddies
continue working well together the top. You ain't go Jackie

(01:20:41):
hooky with to have a jack prize packed. Tim, you
can try again anytime, buddy. All right, all right, that's
how good man. We appreciate you work in the wonderful
sit Rocks company here listening to the big shows. So
next time the clue and the word is lemon we
can say lemonade. I was robed way to keep you cool, Billy.

(01:21:04):
I have been on the other side many times, he said,
Billy's throne stuff. That may be fine. You see a
highlighter go across the and some flags like that, like
the referees having football games. All right, if you would
like to play Warny work with us, click man on
air contest button. Alright, coming up next big show Fight Club.

(01:21:25):
We got our classic be request in the morning. We
got John Danger Holly Field from Florence, South Carolina. Oh,
it's old John Danger is his middle name Classic Bed
one of the blooper Real theaters kills me every time.
Oh some of our favorites. To John, you got it
coming up next? Good morning, and it's big on the radio.

(01:22:11):
Run it through you. Monday. We've had a good old
Chicken Wayne breakfast, some best chicken wings in town from
Old Piebo Premium Pub, their homemade chips. Thank you so much.
Beating the boys by the way Old piebel Premium Pump,
participating in Queen's Feast as Charlotte's restaurant week July through

(01:22:31):
the thirty one. That's always a big town. And I've
been just a few days. Three course meal with a
glass of wine, half of thirty five bucks Old Piebelo
Premium Pub dot com and check him out and you
move around I Queen City, the neighborhood of the big
shows on Old Palmbo Road shot in North Carolina. All right,

(01:22:51):
John holly Feld, Florida, South Carolina, your classic bid requests.
Welcome to Big Show Blooper Real Theater, where one of
our cast is portrayed entirely by flubs and fluffs from
the Big Show Blooper Reel. Today, a visitor comes to
the office of John boy Isisley at the headquarters of
the John Boy and Billy Radio Network. Excuse me, Mr Eisley, No, no,

(01:23:15):
not all. Please don't get up. I don't mean to
interrupt time. Dr Frederick Crane from the Corporate Health and
Wellness Department, you have a minute. I'm here to do
the psychological exam for your annual employee evaluation. This won't
take long at all. Actually it's just a formality. Is
this a good time? Now? Very good? A few quick questions,
I'll be right out of your way. First of all,

(01:23:38):
how would you describe your usual state of mind? Are
you a happy person? Absolutely? One town about wonderful? Yes?
And when you sleep well? Ever? Have any recurring dreams?
On nightmares? Large plain Billellow's mouth. St. Helen's statement asked
thousands until they feed into the air. Interesting? And how

(01:23:58):
do you feel when you wake from a dream like that?
Haberta perfectly natural reaction, I suppose. Tell me about your
leisure time activities. For example, what do you have planned
for this weekend? I'll have my first dreaming constration, I see.
Is that something you find enjoyable? I get it, buddy.
I also understand you're a big NASCAR fan and an

(01:24:21):
enthusiastic follow up of Tennessee football as well. Hey my volunteers,
now hate done. You've got will robbing your rocket top
and stuff and shut it up. Indeed, all right now
they need to do a quick vision test. Can you
tell me what it says on this card? Tom snacks
top up each top? How about this one? Your car

(01:24:43):
care car Bumpers calls less mrized Ley. I'm not an
eye doctor, but I suspect you probably need some sort
of reading glasses. Probably we don't see all the probably abilities.
I'd suggest you make an appointment with an optometris We'll
call over to our rage out head and target so yourself.

(01:25:04):
I really think taking action on this will solve a
lot of the problems you seem to be having. Is
take plea painting? Yes? Well, Mr Risley, I think I
have everything I need. I'll just get out of your
way now. Ah. It was a pleasure to meet, right
chat back rap natchee Tominy, Yes, have a nice day.
I'll see you next year. I'm sorry, was there something else?

(01:25:28):
Don't forget Greg's Comedy Central prepere special. I'll make a
note of that now. If it excuse me. I'm going
to step into the office right here next door and
make a few voice notes. All right, employee b R
five for nine, Mr Eisley. Subject appears to have deteriorated
a bit from his last evaluation. In my judgment, it

(01:25:49):
will not be long before his personal eccentricities start showing
up in his on air work. Step on your body fails,
you'll big shows on a rady hut it out. We'll
call over to our rage out to head to target.

(01:26:10):
Next up this special stop up on Tom's stock. That's
good than you. Good thing to have buds. Good Monday morning,

(01:26:47):
Big shows on the radio. Ready to rapper up? First
does special Mayberry Playhouse Sanction. Welcome to John Boy and
Billy play House. Today's episode the Maybury Miracle tonne as
our history opens, It's another lazy summer day at the

(01:27:08):
courthouse in Maybury, North Carolina. So so the guy at
the piano says, know it, I wrote it. It's a
good yeah boy. That's a real nay lapper there. Flow
Come on, I heard Leonard Blush tell that one last
week on the radio. You know, Bernie, they get a
name for people like you. You know who you are

(01:27:30):
you're you're a buzz killer, not the cool to be
finer than to be in Carolina morning. Well, I supposed
to be aunt ba, So you sure are in a
mighty good mood. Yeah. Boy, For a minute there, I
thought all Rosemary Clooney was a walking in the dolt.

(01:27:52):
I bet I can cook on it good as she
put glasses. I bet you can't cool as good as
I can. You'd be right about that. I think she
can talk a little bit. Man. Look here, barn ain't
BEA's uncooked up a big basket her famous Southern fried chicken.
Would you like some, Floyd, there's plenty you're telling me.

(01:28:16):
I love it when low cut up. She should change
your name from eight B eight triple D chicken than
having to get back to the barber shop. Mr Dununs
is coming over one o'clock. He's one of them, I
tell you you know here lots of extra hair trim

(01:28:38):
around the backs and then cowlic a lot of me
Mr Bye party by Andy, Babies, by Floyd, good Bye Floyd,
see you later, Floyd wout now fried chicken in it.
I ain't even Sunday. This show has a pleasant surprise.
There's a couple of slices of rhubird pie for dessert too. Yeah, boy,

(01:28:59):
come on over and dig a barn. Well, you ain't
gonna tell me twice, ain't me? Are you wearing a
new perfume? Seems like I detect a strange new fragrance
around you for some reason, Marty, can you smell that? Yeah,
you've been painting or something. Excuse me. I hate to

(01:29:21):
say this, but smells kind of like that stuff Old
Frank Crenshaw used to brew up in that shock Alba
Meyer's leg Why ain't be You ain't been drinking? Have you?
Certainly not? Just a small glass of Captain Bradshaw's le
mean age reducing miracle elxa. Captain Who's what? Wait a minute,
Wait a minute, ain't got the fella that's rented out

(01:29:45):
the Mayberry trademark for the last week or so. As
a matter of fact, it is and Captain Bradshaw's e
Lixor is a modern day medical marvel. He says, if
you drink a little bit every day, it makes the
use mint to weed like magic. Judging by the smell
of it. It can take the paint off a screen door.

(01:30:05):
It is a might loud, maybe we better run over
the trademard after lunch and have us a looks like
here we go again, the lightest whiff of scandal, and
you two tune into star skin Hunch. You knew there's
a wood for people like you. Buzzkill on our leader,
Andy and Barney arrived at the Maybury Trade Martins Hoty

(01:30:26):
There can I help you fellas? Yeah, sir, I believe
you k and I'm sure if Taylor this here's Deputy
five Mom Harlan Frisbee and Vice President Bradshaw distributing. What
can I do for you? So? Is this where we
can find old Captain brad Show? Well, yes, sir, he's
right inside here. Come on, is there a problem? Well,
we don't rightly know yet, but this Captain Bradshaw Fowler's
rumored to be making some mighty lofty claims for his product,

(01:30:50):
and there's some mighty high octane in them products too,
might if we slip in have a peek at his presentation? Well, no,
not at all. Come on just this way, and old
ladies and gentlemen of Maybury, I am pleased to present
to you Captain Bradshaw's lean mean age reducing miracle e
lecture A potent blend of potions gathered together from the

(01:31:12):
four corners of the globe. This Feller shirt I was
like the sound of his own boys. Captain Bradshaw's a
lecture is a tonic for the soul as well as
the body. This life enhancing fluid to restore the youthful
globe to your skin every moves crow's feet better than botox.
It relieves depression better than zoloft. It restores sexual potency

(01:31:35):
better than viagral. I need something, and they and they
soon to be. A completed study at a famous European
university whose name I am not at liberty to reveal,
found it can actually reverse the aging process. Why I
myself in proof of its restorative powers, because ladies and gentlemen,
I myself have consumed a small glass of this lecture

(01:31:56):
every day since the summer of seventeen sixty seven seventeen
six st seven, I'll come on. That would make him
almost three hundred years old. Yeah, how about that, Mr Frisbee.
You believe Captain brad Shaws really as old as he
says he is? Well to tell you the truth, Sheriff,
I do have my doubts, but then I didn't start
working for myself till oh, well you've enjoyed John Boy

(01:32:27):
and Billy playhouse. He's old too. I'll think about it
would be till done again next time. But we'll hear
krusty old Mrs mendel Bright at the boarding house say, hey,
big man, let me hold it all. I mean trickle
D's get bit boxes here down lord, your favorite Big

(01:32:50):
Show bits ninety nine since he's fifteen nine by him,
what's playing anywhere? Find your faces at the Big Show
dot com beat with John Boy and Billy. Southern Sweet
to y'all comes in regular gonna even strawberry and watermelon
lemonade flavors there one dollar each. Find them right up
front at food lie now through Labor Day order Jbnb
Stuff by phone eight hundred four seven one stuff online

(01:33:10):
services by Enemy dot Com. Hi ya, hope you have
great RESSI your money. We'll be back at it on tomorrow.
We love you. We made a podcast up next in
the Big Show dot Com. Silence here, listen to you
to met You've done nothing but ra