July 25, 2024 • 40 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we find out why the Grumpy Old Man hates vapin’.. - Rev. Billy Ray Collins has a new social media team.. - Mary Jane Zooms in with some deep thoughts.. - PRN’s Doug Rice has the latest from the world of NASCAR.. - Gary Busey has information on the Institute For Mental Wellness.. - Hoyt and the JuniorNation Band has a musical tribute to the late great Robert D. Raiford.. - and we’ll wrap things up with a Playhouse entitled, The Man With No Butt Cheeks..
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I stand on the hill, but not for a thrill,
for the breath of a fresh keell. And never mind
a man who contemplates doing away with license plates. He
stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent by the
heat of the Launderman.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Van leaving his soul.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
And then like in petrygo dot dot dot, you know,
kind of host set.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Up leaving his soul, parting the waters of the Medulla
oblong Gota with John Boy and Billy on the Big
show like that one, John Boy, Hey.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Ryan.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Gaga, Noodle now up and out on It is Thursday
and July or twenty fifth, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And you got a big show.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
On the radio, all right, unless you're listening to us
on the podcast. Then you've got the big show on
your mobile device.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
And we are a bunch of mobile devices in here
this morning, moving around here.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
See what National Day it is, y'all?
Speaker 5 (01:49):
Well, first, good morning everybody, or National Hire a Veteran day.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
There you go. Hope y'all doing that anyway?
Speaker 5 (01:59):
Man, Bet there's a work National Hot Fudge Sunday Day
hanging behind that.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Do that pretty easy, just gets.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
You some reversions. Chocolate serve. I'd heat it up a
little bit boring on with their ice cream. Throw you
some of them walnuts in there and getting a little jar.
Speaker 6 (02:15):
Nay, nay, that's not a hot fudge Sunday.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
Not you need fudge.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Oh really, I'm talking about the poor man. Okay, all right,
National Merry Go Round Day. Dude invented it on this day.
Get sick with your Sunday National Wine and Cheese Day.
I want something else beside the cheese.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And National thread the Needle Day. Have no idea what
that's all about either.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
We got three very important dates saved up because that
will be our categories to get our winning beginning for
this Thursday morning, we're awake. Big Joe's on the radio.
Good Morning mass was on a radio coming up, We
played John boyd je Everyday Winner is one hundred twenty
dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving, and bulls not make sure
(03:10):
they look good doing it. You can find bull Snout
at truck stops across America or download that bull Snow app.
Need that on your mobile device. You go to the
Big Show dot Com, click on that bull snot banner.
Listen up right here and win it. Give you our
three dates in history where we're got our categories. Eighteen
seventy one was talking about National Merry Go Round Day. Well, oh,
(03:32):
William Schneider invented it on this date eighteen seventy one. Wow,
the hard part was getting the horses carved out of wood.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That took it took a while guessing the horses.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Nineteen eighty four, a Russian cosmonaut named Svetlana Seventhskaya became
the first woman to walk in out of space right.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
And fining.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
Oh wait, Jerry Lewis is detained at the Las Vegas
Airport because a gun was found in his carry on.
Bad Wow, right there it is our three categories. One
eight hundred Big Shows you told free live We play
out birds Next, Good Morning, The big Shows on the
(04:42):
radio run into your early morning Thursday. Today's feature track
from the Big Show bit box. So John won't been
a play house, The man with no budgets shorts for
key words, budgeeks.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
How could you not want to go?
Speaker 8 (04:55):
Get that?
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Just make sure you're at the Bigshow dot com. Bet
Bobby for you searching butt cheeks? There right now get.
Speaker 9 (05:06):
Out Thursday winning Outburst.
Speaker 10 (05:09):
Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 11 (05:14):
John Boy and Billy give the prizes from the big
prize being.
Speaker 10 (05:21):
Let's go make contested number one. This should it be
a lot of fun when you're.
Speaker 11 (05:28):
Playing Upburst, having the way up against Tank.
Speaker 10 (05:31):
You get this tant big shots.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Having a big show.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Time is Johnnie from Manhill, North Carolina.
Speaker 12 (05:42):
We Shots.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Good morning, Nannie.
Speaker 12 (05:52):
I'm my first time color don Boy.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
We'll get you a mood right here.
Speaker 13 (05:56):
I hear you.
Speaker 12 (05:57):
Whatever.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Welcome Maddy. All right, let's get you through these three categories.
Be the first time winner of one hundred and twenty
dollars worth of bullsnot cleaning products.
Speaker 12 (06:07):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
I like it. Five seconds. Give us three rides at
an amusement park.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Ready to go, Mary got around roller coaster in affairs.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Wheel Man, Yeah, buddy, and no, just got back from
man to Brooklyn.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
What what?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
What was the part with the hot dogs on Coney Island?
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Man like that?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, see what I got out of those pictures? That
hot dog?
Speaker 5 (06:32):
All right, Donnie, here we go, Buddy.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Give us three things in the outer space, ready to go.
Speaker 14 (06:40):
Planets, satellites and stars.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Oh my, and for the wind. Three things in your
carry on bag ready.
Speaker 8 (06:48):
Go, medications, laptop and a toothbrush.
Speaker 15 (06:56):
Yeah, baby, right, Victory, I ventured it right now, get
get back, all right, buddy, you hang over.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Jackie will hook you up.
Speaker 11 (07:08):
No, I'm like that.
Speaker 12 (07:09):
That's all.
Speaker 14 (07:10):
Thank you, Johnny.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
Now, why the when the guy were tm me your
news right on the other side.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Our time capsuled.
Speaker 13 (07:25):
By early morning?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Ride just duck you day with alive there.
Speaker 12 (07:35):
M this is the winning job.
Speaker 16 (08:01):
Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 14 (08:14):
Norman Bates made you shipper, Jason made you shudder, but
nothing could prepare you for the ultimate terror. Are you
ready for Freddy?
Speaker 12 (08:26):
Line?
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Sure is spooky wandering around in the woods in the
middle of the night here, So did you hear that?
Speaker 17 (08:36):
It can't be it's him?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
It's no, it's Freddy?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Then I weak you.
Speaker 14 (08:51):
Francis ford Owens presents a nightmare from El Paso, Freddy's Revenge,
starring the terrifying motion picture villain in the history of film,
Freddie Fender.
Speaker 12 (09:05):
All Right, you guys, stay back.
Speaker 14 (09:07):
This senseless slaughter has got to stop.
Speaker 12 (09:10):
He wouldn't dare. Oh no, it's him.
Speaker 11 (09:13):
It's are you behind a Nightmare?
Speaker 10 (09:22):
From El Passo.
Speaker 14 (09:24):
Freddy's Revenge coming soon from Revco Embassy Pictures, Rated r
John Boya and Dilly.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
A man will never work for a woman unless he's
got clabber for brains.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning. It's a big
(10:10):
show on the radio. Here is mister Rubarb. Thank you
give me the beat.
Speaker 9 (10:18):
Hello, boys and girls, this is your old pal, mister Rhubarb.
Welcome to a new feature we call ask Mister Rhubarb.
Life lessons for kids from a guy I'd like to
call me. Today's letter comes from eight year old Joey
Lagrange of Charlotte. Dear mister Rhubarb, this is the worst
(10:42):
summer ever. My parents have been fighting all the time.
My mom got really mad at my dad because he
bought a new set of golf clubs. Mom says Dad
needs to spend less time on his golf game and
more time working.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Dad says golf helps him relax.
Speaker 9 (10:59):
He said he meets a lot of important people when
he plays golf and they might help him with his
business someday. Mom says that's a big pile of crap.
Dad says, if mom didn't buy so much stuff, We'd
have plenty of money. Then they yelled at each other
a lot. I hate it when my mom and dad
(11:20):
yelled at each other a lot. Which one of them
is right? And what can I do to help them
get along better? Your pal, Joey, Dear Joey. To answer
your question, let's go back in time and look at
four successful people in America in the year nineteen twenty three.
Those people were the president of the biggest steel company,
(11:45):
the president of the biggest gas company, the president of
the New York Stock Exchange, and a guy who spent
most of his time on a golf course. The president
of the biggest steel company was a man named C. M.
Speaker 10 (11:59):
Schwah.
Speaker 9 (12:00):
He lost all of his fortune during the Great Depression
of the nineteen thirties. He lived on borrowed money for
the last five years of his life. When he died
in nineteen thirty nine, he was in debt almost two
million dollars. The president of the biggest gas company was
a man named Howard Hopson. He was a rich guy
(12:21):
till he spent seven years in jail for mail fraud
and tax evasion. He lost his fortune of seventy four
million dollars and died in a mental hospital in nineteen
forty nine. The president of the New York Stock Exchange,
he was Richard Whitney. During the nineteen thirties, he lost
almost all of his fortune and started stealing money from
(12:44):
his customers and relatives. He got caught and went to
prison for grand larceny. Now the guy who spent all
his time on the golf course. That was a man
named Jeans Saracen. In nineteen twenty three, he won a
big golf tournament called the US Open. A few years later,
he was the first man ever to win the US Open,
(13:07):
the British Open, the Masters, and the PGA Championship in
the same year. Golf people call that a grand Slam.
He played golf almost his whole life. He hit a
hole in one at the British Open in nineteen seventy
three when he was seventy one years old. He finally
retired when he was ninety two and died debt free
(13:29):
in Naples, Florida, in nineteen ninety nine at the age
of ninety seven. So Joey, tell you're dad to forget
all that hard work junk. He needs to spend as
much time on the golf course as he can. Oh
and if your mom doesn't like him, tell her she
can lump it your pal, mister Rubarb. This edition of
(13:51):
Ask Mister Rubarb was brought to you by our friends
at Crazy Bob's Discount Golf relocated.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
On State Road twenty three.
Speaker 9 (14:00):
The next time, this is mister Rubarb saying, this is
mister Rubarb.
Speaker 17 (14:04):
Carry on straight paper.
Speaker 13 (14:08):
Yeah, this is your old pals. You stein La Black.
Speaker 16 (14:11):
When I'm not mooching some of that fine Jacques Danielle
Whiskey and I play the right finn Gumbo off my
best friend Woodrow Woodrow and that sassy Sacond wife and
he on Lisbeth.
Speaker 13 (14:21):
I'm listening to those.
Speaker 18 (14:22):
Tool wacky Cajun John Boy and Philly right down that they're.
Speaker 13 (14:26):
Big shoke woe. There's funny. I Gary on Pete, good morning.
Speaker 7 (15:06):
That fine.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I appreciate you getting the big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Might be listening to our podcast s, g listening on
whatever deal you got going on there.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
If you hadn't subscribed to us yet.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
With the free iHeart Radio app, you'll do that alert
you when ready to go download Bam bam, you got
the big Show. Okay, we got the Grumpy old Man.
In minutes, John Boy Jeopardy will be played, another winner
will be made. The Reverend Billy ragg Tiland's coming up.
That's all in the next thirty minutes, Big Show rolls on.
(15:45):
Good morning, got the.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Big Show on the radio. Stam, I cue the Grumpy
Old Man.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
Let me tell you about the prize pack you can
win on John Boy Jeopardy, one of those Low Tigers
prize packs.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
They got some cool swaggies.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Motorcycle lawyers who ride will get you a hat, the
tea shore and a tumbler, even a twenty five dollars
gas card phillip at Motorcycle Lord Tiger's been representing injured
drivers for over two decades. With Lord Tigers, you never
ride alone. Click on the link at the Big Show
dot Com or info.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Hang on play for it. In minutes, it's time for
the Grumpy Old Man.
Speaker 16 (16:21):
Ah flimmity flu. I'm old and I hate vapin. In
my day, we didn't have any steam. Weazen plastic sucking,
bubblegump stinking science fiction e electronic cigarette. When I was
a boy, we blowed off steam the old fashioned way.
(16:42):
We picked a living hell out of each other, vapin vaping,
everybody's vaping, opening up whole dead bird stores selling nothing
but vapin whoop dee doo, telling the world that it's
safer than it's the safer alternative, the reel by God
Mother Nature grown Tobacci products, strutting around puffing on a
(17:06):
plastic stick, wearing that arrogant I'm better than you smug grin,
surrounded by a cloud of smoke like you're making your entrance,
and wrestled by goutt media. They're living in a smoker's paradise,
but they don't tell you the real danger. You see
when these dummies start the vapor. Pretty soon people start changing.
(17:29):
Women start getting tattoos of Lena Dunham and putting spent
tires in their ear lobes, getting short, getting short and
even haircuts at great clips, and wearing flannel shirts and
sensible shoes.
Speaker 10 (17:46):
Do you go to the same place I go?
Speaker 16 (17:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 11 (17:48):
Yes.
Speaker 16 (17:51):
Men folk get it worse, getting tattoos of Justin Bieber
and kitty cats with giant eyes, and Bernie Sanders with
the commonest flying coming out of his button, going to
get many cures and petty cures and wearing the hair
and a damn man bun, driving electrical cars and watching
(18:13):
foreign movies. It's like someone said, I wonder if there's
a way to make smoking gay.
Speaker 10 (18:20):
Yeah, that's the guy that waits on me, You pretty.
Speaker 17 (18:24):
Flippity sissy, dude.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Look at me.
Speaker 17 (18:27):
I used to be a man until I started huffing
tony fruity clouds. Now I'm soaking in a tub.
Speaker 16 (18:33):
Reading fifty Shades of Gay and listening to Shell. I'm
the little steam engine that could have been a man
if only I kept smoking lucky strikes.
Speaker 17 (18:43):
It's an age of genderless enjoyment, and they like it.
Speaker 13 (18:47):
They love it.
Speaker 16 (18:50):
Oh look at me, I'm a vapin your bunch of
damn turch sniffers, all high and money with your fancy technology.
When I was a boy, were too poor for real tobaccy,
so we had to use our god given ingenuity to
get our smoke.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
On.
Speaker 17 (19:07):
One day, I was walking through a pasture with string
Bean Johnson.
Speaker 16 (19:11):
We called him that because his junk was thin as
a green bean and he could pee through a keyhole.
We was hankering for a smoke and didn't have nothing.
String Bean stepped on our big old dried out cow pie.
The inside of that turn was flaky like tobaccy, and
we figured, at least it used to.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Be a plant.
Speaker 16 (19:30):
So we took a piece of nooseprint and rolled us
to big fat cow turn cigarette. It was god awful,
but we smoked the whole thing. The next day we
did it again, and afore long we was hooked. Pretty
soon off the stupid redneck war on youngins in three
counties was puffing poop along with us.
Speaker 17 (19:48):
It was insane, but it weren't enough.
Speaker 16 (19:51):
We needed more than We tried horse crap, then goat crap,
then mule crap.
Speaker 17 (19:57):
We were gonna try pig crap, but it never seemed
to dry out. Before long, we.
Speaker 16 (20:04):
Were coughing up dingleberries the size of walnuts were dropping
like flies dying off from a terminal case of dum lung.
Speaker 17 (20:13):
We were so full of crap they didn't bury us.
Speaker 16 (20:15):
They spread us on the tomatoes, and we wound up
in hell, and the devil made us eat through our
butts and pooped through our mouths.
Speaker 17 (20:22):
Yabledy doubled doo.
Speaker 16 (20:24):
Look at me, I'm a hill billy moron, smoking button
mud and yacking up turned dumplings. Now the devil turned
our big inbred heads into his own sticky Plato fun factory.
All hail the mighty Lord of darkness in his ironic
sense of humor.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And we like it. We loved it.
Speaker 17 (20:48):
Blippity flippity, I hate fat.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Oh No, I was playing John boydemity. Y'all jump on
in here. We need to review yesterday question in case
you missed it. We found out, according to a recent survey,
about seventeen percent of people who own one of these
say the prime reason they have it is for personal protection.
Speaker 13 (21:10):
I think that would be a cat.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Were they just kidding? Maybe got some mean cats out there?
Speaker 5 (21:17):
No, I read several accounts of where cats afforded burglaries. Awesome, yeah, Jackie,
we always talk about my old cat shelf cat.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yes, yeah, turns cat as long as you would.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
Own his shelf. You know he was attacking, but he
wouldn't come down that right, So right, all right, Well,
let's do today's John boyd jeopardy. The number one most
owned household tool is a hammer, followed by a screwdriver.
And this is number three, but is a plier?
Speaker 17 (21:50):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
A flyer? Just one is a flier.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
What y'all got, what a hundred big show you told?
Free line We play John boyd Jeopardy. Next, Yeah, more thing.
(22:26):
It's a big show on the radio. Went today's feature
track for the Big Show bit box a John Moore
Billy Playhouse. The man with no butt cheeks shirch birk
he words butt cheeks hit the big box at the
Big Show dot com there right now, let's buy yes
live across America.
Speaker 8 (22:47):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now a man who's been
teased himself for not having a butt until he learned
to cope with it by joining no Acetolics anonymous.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
Oh my boy, as I had a David out of
New Tazewell, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Good morning, David.
Speaker 10 (23:10):
Good morning, John Boy buddy, welcome.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
All right, you got the first shot at John Boy
Jeopardy today. The number one most owned household tool is
a hammer. Number two is a screwdriver. And this is
number three.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I'm going to say Flyers, So you're going with Plyers.
Taylor had a Plyer, but you're going with Plyers. So
let's see.
Speaker 17 (23:39):
That was a great guest.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
Good guess, there's a good guess. It comes into number four,
Plyers are number four. Al right, missed it by one, David.
Thanks for playing, buddy.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
You have a great day, all right, you'll have a
good one, all right, man, thanks for noticing.
Speaker 5 (23:54):
Let's I hate a Schyler out of Spartanburg, South Carolina.
Good morning, Skyler, Good morning, sir. All right, Well, what
you think number three most owned household tool in America.
Speaker 12 (24:09):
I'm gonna say, tape measure.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Well, let's see, is it tape measure?
Speaker 13 (24:22):
Buddy?
Speaker 5 (24:22):
You got your big old lord Tiger's prize back. Head
down to Sparkle City for you. Yeah, man, I'm talking
about Skylar down.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, I was talking. I knew I heard Schylar is
a guy's name for somebody else. I believe that it
is Killer Bee's youngest son's name, Killer Bees.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
This is oldest is Truett.
Speaker 8 (24:47):
Well, you're pronouncing it right, SCHYLARTT. S.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
Beasley always said, thanks, Dad boy, Skyler. Okay, work, Well,
let's I'm out and catch you up on your news.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
You know, common news.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Heerd and a reverend Ben a red Colin right on
the other side. It's a big shon al radio. Really
(25:45):
through your Thursday morning, June Light of twenty fifth they
got deep thoughts with Mary Jane. All right, Mary Jane,
been thinking heard listen twenty minutes right now get this call.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Well, good morning there, John Boy and Billy, and good
morning to hold our beloved friends out there in radio land.
This is a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sword
of Joshua, Food of Gusper Pennicocial Assembly just off Seat
Road twenty.
Speaker 12 (26:15):
Three on the Frontage Road.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Well friends, our youth pastor Ricky dale Gilmore is putting
together something called the Sword of Joshua Socialized Media Team
to promote the church on the my Face and the
twit book and work not Now. I'm old and give
out on modern technocracy, so I ain't been a whole
(26:38):
lot of help so far. And I'm also a tad
skeptical about this whole idea. And I'll tell you why.
Pastor Ricky says, socialized media is the hottest thing going. Preacher,
if you're gonna get your message out there, you gotta
be on the my Face and the twit book. And
I says, oh yeah, Well why, he says, because if
(26:59):
you ain't on their you missing out. I said, yeah.
And who says that? He says, well, the folks at
My Face and twit Book. See, my granddaddy used to say,
never ask the barber if you need a hire, because
what he gonna say. Even a computer knucklehead like me
(27:19):
ain't surprised to hear the My Face people say you
need to be on my Face, and the twit book
people say you need to be on twit book. They're
doing a little thing the business folks call selling the
problem and the solution. Well, here's a sticky part of that.
The modern world of computers and cell phones is like
(27:41):
going to a party where the host keeps turning the
music up louder and louder. Pretty soon folks have a
hard time hearing one another. Then My Face and twit
Book come along, and it's like they handed everybody at
the party a big old megaphone that'll fix everything right. Well, no,
(28:04):
it just makes everybody get louder and louder. Pretty soon,
we ain't really having a conversation at all. We're just
hollering at one another. And by the way, while you're
busy yelling in your little megaphone, somebody's run off with
your credit card too. Does that sound familiar, Well, Preacher,
when a party gets loud. You gotta yell to be heard,
(28:27):
don't you. Yeah, you could do that, or you and
your friends could leave at old rackety party and go
summers where you can actually carry on a normal conversation
about normal things, you know, like say, a nice quiet
church building somewhere. That's right, friends, the Lord has made
(28:48):
me the manager of the Spiritual barbershop, and I think
there's a whole bunch of y'all need a trim now.
The good news is our full service cutting style is
absolutely free free, although we would appreciate a little something
when we passed the tip jar during the invitation. Come
on down this Sunday morning for a special real time
(29:10):
chat on how to like and subscribe to the Lord Jesus.
When you get on his list, he'll never unfringe you.
For more information, check us out on the computer at
http dot w W dot sort of Joshua dot org
(29:31):
slash mark info. I'll be what. Just show up at
the church Offay morning.
Speaker 12 (29:36):
We'll take you from there.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
Our mind's made up, but our doors wide open. Right
here at the Sword of Joshua Independent for Gospel of
Penicultural Assembly, just off Steat Road twenty.
Speaker 12 (29:48):
Three on the funny road this.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Here's a Reverend Billy Ray Collins reminding you it's.
Speaker 10 (29:54):
Time to turn so you don't bor John Morren.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
Billy, you old keep them straight up.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio. Wrote
it to your Thursday. The Nascar boys gonna take a
couple of weeks off with the Olympics being broadcast on NBC.
They're Phillips. We're going talk to Doug Rice wrap it
up as take a two week break here in about
twenty minutes, Bud right now.
Speaker 14 (30:49):
And now Deep thoughts with Zach the weed Guy's girlfriend
Mary Jane.
Speaker 13 (30:56):
Yo, Hey, what suer dude?
Speaker 17 (31:01):
It's crack a lagging y'all?
Speaker 7 (31:03):
Good? Oh, it's so old.
Speaker 13 (31:09):
I've been doing.
Speaker 7 (31:09):
Okay, but I've just been sweating and I've been sitting
around the house and acy thinking about stuff you want
here summer?
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Sure?
Speaker 15 (31:18):
Cool?
Speaker 7 (31:20):
John boy, dude, you're a farmer right you take care
of chickens? Does that make you like a chicken tender? Y'all?
I was like watching the National Geographic Channel and I
realized that Gray Robin is just premature archaeology. If if
(31:44):
you gotta think about it, you know, when someone says
you're slow as a snail. Why do we ever see
them coming? If they're so slow? I mean, it's like,
what on snail on my window? Like, how'd that happen? Yo?
(32:07):
Jackie ever noticed that snakes are just tails with faces?
She didn't like that one.
Speaker 18 (32:17):
Yo.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
I'm not saying like I don't like cold, hard cash,
but humans are the only species who actually pay to
live on the planet.
Speaker 10 (32:29):
Y'all have missed me.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
And I've been thinking hard, like what if those really
aren't stars up there? And they're just like holes poked
into the containers so we can all like breathe. Your
actions are supposedly they speak louder than words, but you know,
(32:56):
speaking is also an action. So ever, wonder, ever, wonder
if one teacher I can't like teach a kid all
the subjects, then why is one kid expected to study
all the subjects? Anarchy? If someone dies in a living room,
(33:26):
is it still a living room? Each time that you
light your lighter, your lighter gets lighter. Until you're lighter
gets no light, it won't light mosquitoes. Mosquitoes use blood
(33:52):
to make their eggs. Dude, Mosquitos use blood to make
their eggs, So like, dude, that means you're one third
their father. HiT's your heart? If maters are fruit, does
(34:13):
that mean ketchups like a fruit smoothie? Okay, I can
see y'all need to take a break for one more
and then like I gotta go. I don't notice when
you ask someone their name, you're really just asking them
what sound you should make to get their attention.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Well, from now on, boy, what's that sound?
Speaker 7 (34:44):
Alright?
Speaker 10 (34:45):
Like that's it for now.
Speaker 7 (34:47):
Y'all keep rocking and I'll keep.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Baking.
Speaker 14 (34:53):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hard Graves Potted
Meat prom It because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 13 (35:03):
Mama, all I.
Speaker 18 (35:05):
Wanted to do was have a lettuce sandwich on gluten bread,
a tall glass of buttermilk, and crawl under a bearskin rug.
Why do I have to listen to that John Boy
person and Billy whoever on that noisy big joke?
Speaker 5 (35:20):
Mama, Good morning is a mag showing the radio for
(35:56):
your Thursday, July twenty fifth.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
You have the birday of Happy Birthday.
Speaker 5 (36:01):
And you're sharing one with Matt LeBlanc. He portrayed him
with actor Joey on Friends. He's fifty seven. How you
doing the world's first test to baby. Louise Brown is
forty six.
Speaker 13 (36:16):
She's like, I've done other things in my life.
Speaker 5 (36:18):
Who mel Kuiber Junior is sixty four fact, go off
on him. He's been the analyst. He has been a
dressed since eighty four. Wow, has been gett no facts
first for a while.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Like it.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
And Roger Clinton, brother of Bill Clinton, is sixty eight
years old.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Roger ain't done nothing but drink a lot.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Soly what Bill was doing when he was present, and
dog on it. He should be the first guy. Now,
if Kamala Winsor's thing, her husband's gonna be the very
first first gentleman.
Speaker 7 (36:50):
Right, yeah, well they say gentlemen first dude.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Yeah, I've the dubtas first dude.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
But yeah, well yeah, on Bill would have been perfect
entertaining leaders wives while they were doing business.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Well, let's look back and have some fun with this tune.
Speaker 19 (37:11):
Uh, it's the President your West called. She's busy in
New York. She won't be coming home this book.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Little thanks Betty. Okay, Fellers, it's party time.
Speaker 11 (37:20):
One, two, three, four five. Everybody in the limo. Come on,
let's ride to the let A store around the corner.
The wife's side of town. Saw, I think I really
won'ta call some names from my little black book guaranteed
to make this party cook. We'll call Angela and Pamela
and Buffy and Vicki, and for you know it, everything
(37:41):
will be freaky. We're gonna throw it down, then we're
gonna pick it up. These girls a cube. That's a
little speckle pup. I know I said that, I learned
my lesson, but I just can't keep from messing. A
little bit of Monica in my life.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
A little bit of Erica by my side.
Speaker 11 (37:58):
A little bit of Rider, you please, A little bit
of teen she's a sleeze. A little bit of Sandra
she's so funky. A little bit of Mary she's kind
of chunky. A little bit of Jessica's what I see
a little bit of break from he'llovery.
Speaker 19 (38:18):
Mister President Joe from coolers right here, sir, all right?
Speaker 10 (38:22):
Setting them right in, Hey, girls, come on in, y'all
er look kit and go.
Speaker 11 (38:29):
Hey those chicken wings, yeah, put them on the conference
table right over there. Hey, y'all want to see the
war root jump up and down and move it all around.
Put your hands in the air, ifo you clothes on
the ground, then climb.
Speaker 10 (38:43):
On board and we'll have fun. Wanna take a ride
on Air Force one.
Speaker 11 (38:48):
We'll fly so high we'll touch the sky, and if
we get caught, we'll lie.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
A little bit of sandy on my lap.
Speaker 10 (38:55):
A little bit of Tiffany she likes wrap.
Speaker 11 (38:58):
A little bit of red if you please, A little
bit of tea that Jesus lees.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
A little bit of.
Speaker 11 (39:05):
Sandra on the fly, A little bit of Mary on
the sly, A little bit of Jessica raising cane, A
little break from that old ball and chain.
Speaker 19 (39:18):
Mister president, diplomatic house, probably Jamaica, just to ride, all right?
Speaker 1 (39:24):
What that baby up?
Speaker 10 (39:26):
Hey, we'll see me in Hell.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Smooth.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
A little bit of Monica in the house. A little
bit of.
Speaker 10 (39:49):
Something on her blouse.
Speaker 13 (39:51):
A little bit of red she's a gold.
Speaker 10 (39:53):
A little bit of Teina she's a hole. A little
bit of sign up on the desk, a little bit
little Marry.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
She's the best.
Speaker 11 (40:02):
A little bit of Jessica in my life, A great.
Speaker 10 (40:05):
Big secret from my wife.
Speaker 11 (40:08):
Hey, girls, me and you, I can get you all
a job at Revlon too.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
You know me.
Speaker 10 (40:15):
I love the creek.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
See you babe, same time next.
Speaker 13 (40:18):
Week, alright e.
Speaker 19 (40:24):
US President, mister, just call you will be arriving after all.
Speaker 11 (40:29):
Oh okay, everybody, crist this mode, cross the moke, straighten
this place.
Speaker 10 (40:35):
Huh hey, honeys, welcome home.
I stand on the hill, but not for a thrill,
for the breath of a fresh keell. And never mind
a man who contemplates doing away with license plates. He
stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent by the
heat of the Launderman.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Van leaving his soul.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
And then like in petrygo dot dot dot, you know,
kind of host set.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Up leaving his soul, parting the waters of the Medulla
oblong Gota with John Boy and Billy on the Big
show like that one, John Boy, Hey.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Ryan.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Gaga, Noodle now up and out on It is Thursday
and July or twenty fifth, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And you got a big show.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
On the radio, all right, unless you're listening to us
on the podcast. Then you've got the big show on
your mobile device.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
And we are a bunch of mobile devices in here
this morning, moving around here.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
See what National Day it is, y'all?
Speaker 5 (01:49):
Well, first, good morning everybody, or National Hire a Veteran day.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
There you go. Hope y'all doing that anyway?
Speaker 5 (01:59):
Man, Bet there's a work National Hot Fudge Sunday Day
hanging behind that.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Do that pretty easy, just gets.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
You some reversions. Chocolate serve. I'd heat it up a
little bit boring on with their ice cream. Throw you
some of them walnuts in there and getting a little jar.
Speaker 6 (02:15):
Nay, nay, that's not a hot fudge Sunday.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
Not you need fudge.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Oh really, I'm talking about the poor man. Okay, all right,
National Merry Go Round Day. Dude invented it on this day.
Get sick with your Sunday National Wine and Cheese Day.
I want something else beside the cheese.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And National thread the Needle Day. Have no idea what
that's all about either.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
We got three very important dates saved up because that
will be our categories to get our winning beginning for
this Thursday morning, we're awake. Big Joe's on the radio.
Good Morning mass was on a radio coming up, We
played John boyd je Everyday Winner is one hundred twenty
dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving, and bulls not make sure
(03:10):
they look good doing it. You can find bull Snout
at truck stops across America or download that bull Snow app.
Need that on your mobile device. You go to the
Big Show dot Com, click on that bull snot banner.
Listen up right here and win it. Give you our
three dates in history where we're got our categories. Eighteen
seventy one was talking about National Merry Go Round Day. Well, oh,
(03:32):
William Schneider invented it on this date eighteen seventy one. Wow,
the hard part was getting the horses carved out of wood.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That took it took a while guessing the horses.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Nineteen eighty four, a Russian cosmonaut named Svetlana Seventhskaya became
the first woman to walk in out of space right.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
And fining.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
Oh wait, Jerry Lewis is detained at the Las Vegas
Airport because a gun was found in his carry on.
Bad Wow, right there it is our three categories. One
eight hundred Big Shows you told free live We play
out birds Next, Good Morning, The big Shows on the
(04:42):
radio run into your early morning Thursday. Today's feature track
from the Big Show bit box. So John won't been
a play house, The man with no budgets shorts for
key words, budgeeks.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
How could you not want to go?
Speaker 8 (04:55):
Get that?
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Just make sure you're at the Bigshow dot com. Bet
Bobby for you searching butt cheeks? There right now get.
Speaker 9 (05:06):
Out Thursday winning Outburst.
Speaker 10 (05:09):
Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 11 (05:14):
John Boy and Billy give the prizes from the big
prize being.
Speaker 10 (05:21):
Let's go make contested number one. This should it be
a lot of fun when you're.
Speaker 11 (05:28):
Playing Upburst, having the way up against Tank.
Speaker 10 (05:31):
You get this tant big shots.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Having a big show.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Time is Johnnie from Manhill, North Carolina.
Speaker 12 (05:42):
We Shots.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Good morning, Nannie.
Speaker 12 (05:52):
I'm my first time color don Boy.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
We'll get you a mood right here.
Speaker 13 (05:56):
I hear you.
Speaker 12 (05:57):
Whatever.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Welcome Maddy. All right, let's get you through these three categories.
Be the first time winner of one hundred and twenty
dollars worth of bullsnot cleaning products.
Speaker 12 (06:07):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
I like it. Five seconds. Give us three rides at
an amusement park.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Ready to go, Mary got around roller coaster in affairs.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Wheel Man, Yeah, buddy, and no, just got back from
man to Brooklyn.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
What what?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
What was the part with the hot dogs on Coney Island?
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Man like that?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, see what I got out of those pictures? That
hot dog?
Speaker 5 (06:32):
All right, Donnie, here we go, Buddy.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Give us three things in the outer space, ready to go.
Speaker 14 (06:40):
Planets, satellites and stars.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Oh my, and for the wind. Three things in your
carry on bag ready.
Speaker 8 (06:48):
Go, medications, laptop and a toothbrush.
Speaker 15 (06:56):
Yeah, baby, right, Victory, I ventured it right now, get
get back, all right, buddy, you hang over.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Jackie will hook you up.
Speaker 11 (07:08):
No, I'm like that.
Speaker 12 (07:09):
That's all.
Speaker 14 (07:10):
Thank you, Johnny.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
Now, why the when the guy were tm me your
news right on the other side.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Our time capsuled.
Speaker 13 (07:25):
By early morning?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Ride just duck you day with alive there.
Speaker 12 (07:35):
M this is the winning job.
Speaker 16 (08:01):
Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 14 (08:14):
Norman Bates made you shipper, Jason made you shudder, but
nothing could prepare you for the ultimate terror. Are you
ready for Freddy?
Speaker 12 (08:26):
Line?
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Sure is spooky wandering around in the woods in the
middle of the night here, So did you hear that?
Speaker 17 (08:36):
It can't be it's him?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
It's no, it's Freddy?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Then I weak you.
Speaker 14 (08:51):
Francis ford Owens presents a nightmare from El Paso, Freddy's Revenge,
starring the terrifying motion picture villain in the history of film,
Freddie Fender.
Speaker 12 (09:05):
All Right, you guys, stay back.
Speaker 14 (09:07):
This senseless slaughter has got to stop.
Speaker 12 (09:10):
He wouldn't dare. Oh no, it's him.
Speaker 11 (09:13):
It's are you behind a Nightmare?
Speaker 10 (09:22):
From El Passo.
Speaker 14 (09:24):
Freddy's Revenge coming soon from Revco Embassy Pictures, Rated r
John Boya and Dilly.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
A man will never work for a woman unless he's
got clabber for brains.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning. It's a big
(10:10):
show on the radio. Here is mister Rubarb. Thank you
give me the beat.
Speaker 9 (10:18):
Hello, boys and girls, this is your old pal, mister Rhubarb.
Welcome to a new feature we call ask Mister Rhubarb.
Life lessons for kids from a guy I'd like to
call me. Today's letter comes from eight year old Joey
Lagrange of Charlotte. Dear mister Rhubarb, this is the worst
(10:42):
summer ever. My parents have been fighting all the time.
My mom got really mad at my dad because he
bought a new set of golf clubs. Mom says Dad
needs to spend less time on his golf game and
more time working.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Dad says golf helps him relax.
Speaker 9 (10:59):
He said he meets a lot of important people when
he plays golf and they might help him with his
business someday. Mom says that's a big pile of crap.
Dad says, if mom didn't buy so much stuff, We'd
have plenty of money. Then they yelled at each other
a lot. I hate it when my mom and dad
(11:20):
yelled at each other a lot. Which one of them
is right? And what can I do to help them
get along better? Your pal, Joey, Dear Joey. To answer
your question, let's go back in time and look at
four successful people in America in the year nineteen twenty three.
Those people were the president of the biggest steel company,
(11:45):
the president of the biggest gas company, the president of
the New York Stock Exchange, and a guy who spent
most of his time on a golf course. The president
of the biggest steel company was a man named C. M.
Speaker 10 (11:59):
Schwah.
Speaker 9 (12:00):
He lost all of his fortune during the Great Depression
of the nineteen thirties. He lived on borrowed money for
the last five years of his life. When he died
in nineteen thirty nine, he was in debt almost two
million dollars. The president of the biggest gas company was
a man named Howard Hopson. He was a rich guy
(12:21):
till he spent seven years in jail for mail fraud
and tax evasion. He lost his fortune of seventy four
million dollars and died in a mental hospital in nineteen
forty nine. The president of the New York Stock Exchange,
he was Richard Whitney. During the nineteen thirties, he lost
almost all of his fortune and started stealing money from
(12:44):
his customers and relatives. He got caught and went to
prison for grand larceny. Now the guy who spent all
his time on the golf course. That was a man
named Jeans Saracen. In nineteen twenty three, he won a
big golf tournament called the US Open. A few years later,
he was the first man ever to win the US Open,
(13:07):
the British Open, the Masters, and the PGA Championship in
the same year. Golf people call that a grand Slam.
He played golf almost his whole life. He hit a
hole in one at the British Open in nineteen seventy
three when he was seventy one years old. He finally
retired when he was ninety two and died debt free
(13:29):
in Naples, Florida, in nineteen ninety nine at the age
of ninety seven. So Joey, tell you're dad to forget
all that hard work junk. He needs to spend as
much time on the golf course as he can. Oh
and if your mom doesn't like him, tell her she
can lump it your pal, mister Rubarb. This edition of
(13:51):
Ask Mister Rubarb was brought to you by our friends
at Crazy Bob's Discount Golf relocated.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
On State Road twenty three.
Speaker 9 (14:00):
The next time, this is mister Rubarb saying, this is
mister Rubarb.
Speaker 17 (14:04):
Carry on straight paper.
Speaker 13 (14:08):
Yeah, this is your old pals. You stein La Black.
Speaker 16 (14:11):
When I'm not mooching some of that fine Jacques Danielle
Whiskey and I play the right finn Gumbo off my
best friend Woodrow Woodrow and that sassy Sacond wife and
he on Lisbeth.
Speaker 13 (14:21):
I'm listening to those.
Speaker 18 (14:22):
Tool wacky Cajun John Boy and Philly right down that they're.
Speaker 13 (14:26):
Big shoke woe. There's funny. I Gary on Pete, good morning.
Speaker 7 (15:06):
That fine.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I appreciate you getting the big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Might be listening to our podcast s, g listening on
whatever deal you got going on there.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
If you hadn't subscribed to us yet.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
With the free iHeart Radio app, you'll do that alert
you when ready to go download Bam bam, you got
the big Show. Okay, we got the Grumpy old Man.
In minutes, John Boy Jeopardy will be played, another winner
will be made. The Reverend Billy ragg Tiland's coming up.
That's all in the next thirty minutes, Big Show rolls on.
(15:45):
Good morning, got the.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Big Show on the radio. Stam, I cue the Grumpy
Old Man.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
Let me tell you about the prize pack you can
win on John Boy Jeopardy, one of those Low Tigers
prize packs.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
They got some cool swaggies.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Motorcycle lawyers who ride will get you a hat, the
tea shore and a tumbler, even a twenty five dollars
gas card phillip at Motorcycle Lord Tiger's been representing injured
drivers for over two decades. With Lord Tigers, you never
ride alone. Click on the link at the Big Show
dot Com or info.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Hang on play for it. In minutes, it's time for
the Grumpy Old Man.
Speaker 16 (16:21):
Ah flimmity flu. I'm old and I hate vapin. In
my day, we didn't have any steam. Weazen plastic sucking,
bubblegump stinking science fiction e electronic cigarette. When I was
a boy, we blowed off steam the old fashioned way.
(16:42):
We picked a living hell out of each other, vapin vaping,
everybody's vaping, opening up whole dead bird stores selling nothing
but vapin whoop dee doo, telling the world that it's
safer than it's the safer alternative, the reel by God
Mother Nature grown Tobacci products, strutting around puffing on a
(17:06):
plastic stick, wearing that arrogant I'm better than you smug grin,
surrounded by a cloud of smoke like you're making your entrance,
and wrestled by goutt media. They're living in a smoker's paradise,
but they don't tell you the real danger. You see
when these dummies start the vapor. Pretty soon people start changing.
(17:29):
Women start getting tattoos of Lena Dunham and putting spent
tires in their ear lobes, getting short, getting short and
even haircuts at great clips, and wearing flannel shirts and
sensible shoes.
Speaker 10 (17:46):
Do you go to the same place I go?
Speaker 16 (17:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 11 (17:48):
Yes.
Speaker 16 (17:51):
Men folk get it worse, getting tattoos of Justin Bieber
and kitty cats with giant eyes, and Bernie Sanders with
the commonest flying coming out of his button, going to
get many cures and petty cures and wearing the hair
and a damn man bun, driving electrical cars and watching
(18:13):
foreign movies. It's like someone said, I wonder if there's
a way to make smoking gay.
Speaker 10 (18:20):
Yeah, that's the guy that waits on me, You pretty.
Speaker 17 (18:24):
Flippity sissy, dude.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Look at me.
Speaker 17 (18:27):
I used to be a man until I started huffing
tony fruity clouds. Now I'm soaking in a tub.
Speaker 16 (18:33):
Reading fifty Shades of Gay and listening to Shell. I'm
the little steam engine that could have been a man
if only I kept smoking lucky strikes.
Speaker 17 (18:43):
It's an age of genderless enjoyment, and they like it.
Speaker 13 (18:47):
They love it.
Speaker 16 (18:50):
Oh look at me, I'm a vapin your bunch of
damn turch sniffers, all high and money with your fancy technology.
When I was a boy, were too poor for real tobaccy,
so we had to use our god given ingenuity to
get our smoke.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
On.
Speaker 17 (19:07):
One day, I was walking through a pasture with string
Bean Johnson.
Speaker 16 (19:11):
We called him that because his junk was thin as
a green bean and he could pee through a keyhole.
We was hankering for a smoke and didn't have nothing.
String Bean stepped on our big old dried out cow pie.
The inside of that turn was flaky like tobaccy, and
we figured, at least it used to.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Be a plant.
Speaker 16 (19:30):
So we took a piece of nooseprint and rolled us
to big fat cow turn cigarette. It was god awful,
but we smoked the whole thing. The next day we
did it again, and afore long we was hooked. Pretty
soon off the stupid redneck war on youngins in three
counties was puffing poop along with us.
Speaker 17 (19:48):
It was insane, but it weren't enough.
Speaker 16 (19:51):
We needed more than We tried horse crap, then goat crap,
then mule crap.
Speaker 17 (19:57):
We were gonna try pig crap, but it never seemed
to dry out. Before long, we.
Speaker 16 (20:04):
Were coughing up dingleberries the size of walnuts were dropping
like flies dying off from a terminal case of dum lung.
Speaker 17 (20:13):
We were so full of crap they didn't bury us.
Speaker 16 (20:15):
They spread us on the tomatoes, and we wound up
in hell, and the devil made us eat through our
butts and pooped through our mouths.
Speaker 17 (20:22):
Yabledy doubled doo.
Speaker 16 (20:24):
Look at me, I'm a hill billy moron, smoking button
mud and yacking up turned dumplings. Now the devil turned
our big inbred heads into his own sticky Plato fun factory.
All hail the mighty Lord of darkness in his ironic
sense of humor.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And we like it. We loved it.
Speaker 17 (20:48):
Blippity flippity, I hate fat.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Oh No, I was playing John boydemity. Y'all jump on
in here. We need to review yesterday question in case
you missed it. We found out, according to a recent survey,
about seventeen percent of people who own one of these
say the prime reason they have it is for personal protection.
Speaker 13 (21:10):
I think that would be a cat.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Were they just kidding? Maybe got some mean cats out there?
Speaker 5 (21:17):
No, I read several accounts of where cats afforded burglaries. Awesome, yeah, Jackie,
we always talk about my old cat shelf cat.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yes, yeah, turns cat as long as you would.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
Own his shelf. You know he was attacking, but he
wouldn't come down that right, So right, all right, Well,
let's do today's John boyd jeopardy. The number one most
owned household tool is a hammer, followed by a screwdriver.
And this is number three, but is a plier?
Speaker 17 (21:50):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
A flyer? Just one is a flier.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
What y'all got, what a hundred big show you told?
Free line We play John boyd Jeopardy. Next, Yeah, more thing.
(22:26):
It's a big show on the radio. Went today's feature
track for the Big Show bit box a John Moore
Billy Playhouse. The man with no butt cheeks shirch birk
he words butt cheeks hit the big box at the
Big Show dot com there right now, let's buy yes
live across America.
Speaker 8 (22:47):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now a man who's been
teased himself for not having a butt until he learned
to cope with it by joining no Acetolics anonymous.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
Oh my boy, as I had a David out of
New Tazewell, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Good morning, David.
Speaker 10 (23:10):
Good morning, John Boy buddy, welcome.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
All right, you got the first shot at John Boy
Jeopardy today. The number one most owned household tool is
a hammer. Number two is a screwdriver. And this is
number three.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I'm going to say Flyers, So you're going with Plyers.
Taylor had a Plyer, but you're going with Plyers. So
let's see.
Speaker 17 (23:39):
That was a great guest.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
Good guess, there's a good guess. It comes into number four,
Plyers are number four. Al right, missed it by one, David.
Thanks for playing, buddy.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
You have a great day, all right, you'll have a
good one, all right, man, thanks for noticing.
Speaker 5 (23:54):
Let's I hate a Schyler out of Spartanburg, South Carolina.
Good morning, Skyler, Good morning, sir. All right, Well, what
you think number three most owned household tool in America.
Speaker 12 (24:09):
I'm gonna say, tape measure.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Well, let's see, is it tape measure?
Speaker 13 (24:22):
Buddy?
Speaker 5 (24:22):
You got your big old lord Tiger's prize back. Head
down to Sparkle City for you. Yeah, man, I'm talking
about Skylar down.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, I was talking. I knew I heard Schylar is
a guy's name for somebody else. I believe that it
is Killer Bee's youngest son's name, Killer Bees.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
This is oldest is Truett.
Speaker 8 (24:47):
Well, you're pronouncing it right, SCHYLARTT. S.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
Beasley always said, thanks, Dad boy, Skyler. Okay, work, Well,
let's I'm out and catch you up on your news.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
You know, common news.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Heerd and a reverend Ben a red Colin right on
the other side. It's a big shon al radio. Really
(25:45):
through your Thursday morning, June Light of twenty fifth they
got deep thoughts with Mary Jane. All right, Mary Jane,
been thinking heard listen twenty minutes right now get this call.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Well, good morning there, John Boy and Billy, and good
morning to hold our beloved friends out there in radio land.
This is a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sword
of Joshua, Food of Gusper Pennicocial Assembly just off Seat
Road twenty.
Speaker 12 (26:15):
Three on the Frontage Road.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Well friends, our youth pastor Ricky dale Gilmore is putting
together something called the Sword of Joshua Socialized Media Team
to promote the church on the my Face and the
twit book and work not Now. I'm old and give
out on modern technocracy, so I ain't been a whole
(26:38):
lot of help so far. And I'm also a tad
skeptical about this whole idea. And I'll tell you why.
Pastor Ricky says, socialized media is the hottest thing going. Preacher,
if you're gonna get your message out there, you gotta
be on the my Face and the twit book. And
I says, oh yeah, Well why, he says, because if
(26:59):
you ain't on their you missing out. I said, yeah.
And who says that? He says, well, the folks at
My Face and twit Book. See, my granddaddy used to say,
never ask the barber if you need a hire, because
what he gonna say. Even a computer knucklehead like me
(27:19):
ain't surprised to hear the My Face people say you
need to be on my Face, and the twit book
people say you need to be on twit book. They're
doing a little thing the business folks call selling the
problem and the solution. Well, here's a sticky part of that.
The modern world of computers and cell phones is like
(27:41):
going to a party where the host keeps turning the
music up louder and louder. Pretty soon folks have a
hard time hearing one another. Then My Face and twit
Book come along, and it's like they handed everybody at
the party a big old megaphone that'll fix everything right. Well, no,
(28:04):
it just makes everybody get louder and louder. Pretty soon,
we ain't really having a conversation at all. We're just
hollering at one another. And by the way, while you're
busy yelling in your little megaphone, somebody's run off with
your credit card too. Does that sound familiar, Well, Preacher,
when a party gets loud. You gotta yell to be heard,
(28:27):
don't you. Yeah, you could do that, or you and
your friends could leave at old rackety party and go
summers where you can actually carry on a normal conversation
about normal things, you know, like say, a nice quiet
church building somewhere. That's right, friends, the Lord has made
(28:48):
me the manager of the Spiritual barbershop, and I think
there's a whole bunch of y'all need a trim now.
The good news is our full service cutting style is
absolutely free free, although we would appreciate a little something
when we passed the tip jar during the invitation. Come
on down this Sunday morning for a special real time
(29:10):
chat on how to like and subscribe to the Lord Jesus.
When you get on his list, he'll never unfringe you.
For more information, check us out on the computer at
http dot w W dot sort of Joshua dot org
(29:31):
slash mark info. I'll be what. Just show up at
the church Offay morning.
Speaker 12 (29:36):
We'll take you from there.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
Our mind's made up, but our doors wide open. Right
here at the Sword of Joshua Independent for Gospel of
Penicultural Assembly, just off Steat Road twenty.
Speaker 12 (29:48):
Three on the funny road this.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Here's a Reverend Billy Ray Collins reminding you it's.
Speaker 10 (29:54):
Time to turn so you don't bor John Morren.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
Billy, you old keep them straight up.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio. Wrote
it to your Thursday. The Nascar boys gonna take a
couple of weeks off with the Olympics being broadcast on NBC.
They're Phillips. We're going talk to Doug Rice wrap it
up as take a two week break here in about
twenty minutes, Bud right now.
Speaker 14 (30:49):
And now Deep thoughts with Zach the weed Guy's girlfriend
Mary Jane.
Speaker 13 (30:56):
Yo, Hey, what suer dude?
Speaker 17 (31:01):
It's crack a lagging y'all?
Speaker 7 (31:03):
Good? Oh, it's so old.
Speaker 13 (31:09):
I've been doing.
Speaker 7 (31:09):
Okay, but I've just been sweating and I've been sitting
around the house and acy thinking about stuff you want
here summer?
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Sure?
Speaker 15 (31:18):
Cool?
Speaker 7 (31:20):
John boy, dude, you're a farmer right you take care
of chickens? Does that make you like a chicken tender? Y'all?
I was like watching the National Geographic Channel and I
realized that Gray Robin is just premature archaeology. If if
(31:44):
you gotta think about it, you know, when someone says
you're slow as a snail. Why do we ever see
them coming? If they're so slow? I mean, it's like,
what on snail on my window? Like, how'd that happen? Yo?
(32:07):
Jackie ever noticed that snakes are just tails with faces?
She didn't like that one.
Speaker 18 (32:17):
Yo.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
I'm not saying like I don't like cold, hard cash,
but humans are the only species who actually pay to
live on the planet.
Speaker 10 (32:29):
Y'all have missed me.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
And I've been thinking hard, like what if those really
aren't stars up there? And they're just like holes poked
into the containers so we can all like breathe. Your
actions are supposedly they speak louder than words, but you know,
(32:56):
speaking is also an action. So ever, wonder, ever, wonder
if one teacher I can't like teach a kid all
the subjects, then why is one kid expected to study
all the subjects? Anarchy? If someone dies in a living room,
(33:26):
is it still a living room? Each time that you
light your lighter, your lighter gets lighter. Until you're lighter
gets no light, it won't light mosquitoes. Mosquitoes use blood
(33:52):
to make their eggs. Dude, Mosquitos use blood to make
their eggs, So like, dude, that means you're one third
their father. HiT's your heart? If maters are fruit, does
(34:13):
that mean ketchups like a fruit smoothie? Okay, I can
see y'all need to take a break for one more
and then like I gotta go. I don't notice when
you ask someone their name, you're really just asking them
what sound you should make to get their attention.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Well, from now on, boy, what's that sound?
Speaker 7 (34:44):
Alright?
Speaker 10 (34:45):
Like that's it for now.
Speaker 7 (34:47):
Y'all keep rocking and I'll keep.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Baking.
Speaker 14 (34:53):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hard Graves Potted
Meat prom It because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 13 (35:03):
Mama, all I.
Speaker 18 (35:05):
Wanted to do was have a lettuce sandwich on gluten bread,
a tall glass of buttermilk, and crawl under a bearskin rug.
Why do I have to listen to that John Boy
person and Billy whoever on that noisy big joke?
Speaker 5 (35:20):
Mama, Good morning is a mag showing the radio for
(35:56):
your Thursday, July twenty fifth.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
You have the birday of Happy Birthday.
Speaker 5 (36:01):
And you're sharing one with Matt LeBlanc. He portrayed him
with actor Joey on Friends. He's fifty seven. How you
doing the world's first test to baby. Louise Brown is
forty six.
Speaker 13 (36:16):
She's like, I've done other things in my life.
Speaker 5 (36:18):
Who mel Kuiber Junior is sixty four fact, go off
on him. He's been the analyst. He has been a
dressed since eighty four. Wow, has been gett no facts
first for a while.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Like it.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
And Roger Clinton, brother of Bill Clinton, is sixty eight
years old.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Roger ain't done nothing but drink a lot.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Soly what Bill was doing when he was present, and
dog on it. He should be the first guy. Now,
if Kamala Winsor's thing, her husband's gonna be the very
first first gentleman.
Speaker 7 (36:50):
Right, yeah, well they say gentlemen first dude.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Yeah, I've the dubtas first dude.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
But yeah, well yeah, on Bill would have been perfect
entertaining leaders wives while they were doing business.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Well, let's look back and have some fun with this tune.
Speaker 19 (37:11):
Uh, it's the President your West called. She's busy in
New York. She won't be coming home this book.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Little thanks Betty. Okay, Fellers, it's party time.
Speaker 11 (37:20):
One, two, three, four five. Everybody in the limo. Come on,
let's ride to the let A store around the corner.
The wife's side of town. Saw, I think I really
won'ta call some names from my little black book guaranteed
to make this party cook. We'll call Angela and Pamela
and Buffy and Vicki, and for you know it, everything
(37:41):
will be freaky. We're gonna throw it down, then we're
gonna pick it up. These girls a cube. That's a
little speckle pup. I know I said that, I learned
my lesson, but I just can't keep from messing. A
little bit of Monica in my life.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
A little bit of Erica by my side.
Speaker 11 (37:58):
A little bit of Rider, you please, A little bit
of teen she's a sleeze. A little bit of Sandra
she's so funky. A little bit of Mary she's kind
of chunky. A little bit of Jessica's what I see
a little bit of break from he'llovery.
Speaker 19 (38:18):
Mister President Joe from coolers right here, sir, all right?
Speaker 10 (38:22):
Setting them right in, Hey, girls, come on in, y'all
er look kit and go.
Speaker 11 (38:29):
Hey those chicken wings, yeah, put them on the conference
table right over there. Hey, y'all want to see the
war root jump up and down and move it all around.
Put your hands in the air, ifo you clothes on
the ground, then climb.
Speaker 10 (38:43):
On board and we'll have fun. Wanna take a ride
on Air Force one.
Speaker 11 (38:48):
We'll fly so high we'll touch the sky, and if
we get caught, we'll lie.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
A little bit of sandy on my lap.
Speaker 10 (38:55):
A little bit of Tiffany she likes wrap.
Speaker 11 (38:58):
A little bit of red if you please, A little
bit of tea that Jesus lees.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
A little bit of.
Speaker 11 (39:05):
Sandra on the fly, A little bit of Mary on
the sly, A little bit of Jessica raising cane, A
little break from that old ball and chain.
Speaker 19 (39:18):
Mister president, diplomatic house, probably Jamaica, just to ride, all right?
Speaker 1 (39:24):
What that baby up?
Speaker 10 (39:26):
Hey, we'll see me in Hell.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Smooth.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
A little bit of Monica in the house. A little
bit of.
Speaker 10 (39:49):
Something on her blouse.
Speaker 13 (39:51):
A little bit of red she's a gold.
Speaker 10 (39:53):
A little bit of Teina she's a hole. A little
bit of sign up on the desk, a little bit
little Marry.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
She's the best.
Speaker 11 (40:02):
A little bit of Jessica in my life, A great.
Speaker 10 (40:05):
Big secret from my wife.
Speaker 11 (40:08):
Hey, girls, me and you, I can get you all
a job at Revlon too.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
You know me.
Speaker 10 (40:15):
I love the creek.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
See you babe, same time next.
Speaker 13 (40:18):
Week, alright e.
Speaker 19 (40:24):
US President, mister, just call you will be arriving after all.
Speaker 11 (40:29):
Oh okay, everybody, crist this mode, cross the moke, straighten
this place.
Speaker 10 (40:35):
Huh hey, honeys, welcome home.
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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