December 17, 2024 • 39 mins
Tuesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll consider what would have happened if the three wise men had been women.. - Tater runs down this week’s “What to Watch”.. - Hoyt performs “I Saw Delbert Beat Up Santa Claus.. - The Grumpy Old Man tells us why he hates Christmas.. - Billy and Raiford team up for “How the Grump Stole Christmas”.. - Terry Hanson wraps up his Sports Briefs for the year.. - Comedian Greg Warren tells us about his troubled days in high school.. - and Larry the Cable Guy names some of his favorite Christmas Carols…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning everybody. The big shows on the radio, hangout.
We're gonna show our acting jobs coming up. I'm not
an actor, damn you.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm a movie star. I did one play in Summer stuff.
I have one line I've agocket. Thank god I can
write down old my bits. I'm the dumb boy and
Billy Big Show.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Lovely shine.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Of you to see.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
S's a real sensitive my ffault. Oh it's Christmas time.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
You're ruining it.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Seb the seventeen and the Big Show is brightly flaring,
and your listening devicescuse me, just the radio now, you know,
tell me what you're listening to us all God, lets
you searing your new.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Gemini prey soon. You ain't gonna need no real human
friends to stop normal. We'll do the talking for you,
your human connection. Celebrate her. That is my favorite partner.
(02:13):
That's a hard barn in there. No, no, nephew. Oh,
I'm sorry a little a while, I'll get a little flash.
I just got to sing. You know, my mama was
choir director for fifty years Andrew Lamol Baptist Church. He
let me play the trumpet, And were you ever actually
in the choir. I was trying to tell you about
(02:33):
my big moment. Okay, she let me play the trumpet. Oh,
I mean with the choir.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
I' meant singing with the choir.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Wonder why that is practice? He wouldn't show up for it.
Oh I could do it my mind, doing what mama said.
Mama are never wrong. Thank you. Bos all right, we'll
good well, I hope you can attack the Tuesday, December seventeenth,
(03:02):
the same glean.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
We are.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
No good morning big shows on the radio. Well, thank you, Marcy.
Pay me a great compliment. Well I was singing, Well,
I have a right up for a finish. You just
what happened?
Speaker 7 (03:19):
Did you put us cemented the memory for some small.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Child, cemented of small child's memory.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
It's from the heart too.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
Now every time may hear that song.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Welcome and pass that on to your kids. Those generations
are doing here with the big show. All right, let's
get our LS tractor prize back out. That's the first
one up this morning. We got your blaze orange bleany
I mean, Beanie, have about the T shirt for you?
Doggy screen cleaner, keychain go down. Let's track to USA
dot com finding local de little learn why cousiny wer
start blue and stay blue all right, three days in
(03:55):
this stree where we will glean our categories. They win
Getting Hot. Nineteen thirty three, the very first NFL Football
Championship playoff game was held at Wrigleyfield in Chicago. Chicago Bears,
If he did the New York Giants twenty three, twenty one,
(04:15):
thirty three years? What that we move up to? Nineteen
ninety four, a Boston man was arrested at a hospital
after taking two live lobsters from a supermarket tag and
stuffing them down his pants. Oh how'd that go well?
Police called it shoplifting, Doctors called it a do it
yourself a sector it. Finally, on his date No. Three,
(04:39):
a bank robbery in New Mexico lost a bid to
overturn his conviction by arguing the stupidity of the crime
proved he was too drunk to be responsible. The defendant
argued his attempt to rob the same bank teller who
moments before had refused to cash his check was stupid
enough to show he was inebriated. A compelling argument, but
(05:02):
the court didn't buy it. It's so good it works there,
Matt Luck. There you go. Let's think about stupid things
you do. When you're drunk. For that third category, you've
never done it, call somebody you know and now one
eight hundred Big Show we play out birdst next go morning.
(05:45):
It's a big Show on the radio for your Tuesday,
December to seventeenth. Our feature track from the Big Show,
Big Box about old body Larry the cable guy. We
got his favorite Christmas carols we captured on the Big Show.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
It's wrong, wrong, but so funny you word Larry Larry
on the.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
John boyn Billy Christmas album.
Speaker 7 (06:08):
And right now.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Upburst. Let's play Upburst.
Speaker 8 (06:15):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 9 (06:19):
John Boy and Billy gave the prizes from the Big
Prize being Let's go ma contested number one. This should
really be a lot of fun when you're playing Upburst,
have a lurry up and guest time you love the
best time you love a big shots.
Speaker 10 (06:40):
Let's say had James from Bluff City and us say
we have shots.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Wan the James. Here go boy, what's up? Hey buddy,
you are man. Welcome in here, first contestant. But this morning,
Bluff City don't play don't play poker with anybody from
Bluff City unless they have some tails.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
All right, how about the tale that they're from Bluff City.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Well, James, glad you made it in here, buddy. Ready
to get through these three category Well, let's do it
in five seconds. Three cities with the NFL team. Ready
to go, Chicago beat James named three shellfish Ready go,
(07:38):
Jee's loves you cramp all right, don't be shellfish when
you're sharing your shellfish? Okay for the wind. Three things
you won't find that funny if you're drunk. Three things
you do when drunk. Ready to go? Asked to me
(08:02):
though you get mean and lean pip. All right, yeah,
we get me and passed by there. James, you got
the big old LS tractor hunting season prize pack. We'll
get it over to you in Bluff City, or will we?
(08:24):
We don't know, but thank you, Joe, you got it, buddy.
You hang on, Jack come and see here in Bluff City. Yeah,
my look, man, where where where are you listening to us?
Out of Chad nuggat uh Knoxville, Knoxville. Awesome, buddy, Jackie,
get James address, then I might have to get up
(08:46):
with him. Let me let me know what you're coming on.
Bake a pie. He might be bluffing. Yeah, might be okay,
I let it go, I let it go. Hang on, James, right,
just jump out, catch you up on your news. Right
on the other side of this report. If women were
(09:07):
wise men, if we delve into this whole Christmas sid
(09:49):
good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Listen
twenty minutes away from Johnny no Ki singing folsome of
Christmas blues, but right now.
Speaker 11 (10:01):
Thank you for the music, Randall. What would have happened
if there had been three wise women instead of three
wise men, Well, they would have asked directions, arrived on time,
help deliver the baby, clean the stable, made a castle roll,
and brought practical gifts. But what would they have said
(10:21):
when they left? Something like did you see the sandals
Mary was wearing with that man? What about that baby
doesn't look anything like Joseph? How about Virgin?
Speaker 6 (10:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Right, and you were in school?
Speaker 11 (10:43):
Oh what about can you believe they let all those
disgusting animals in?
Speaker 8 (10:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 11 (10:51):
Maybe I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now,
and that donkey they're writing has seen better days too.
And then me, I want to bet on how long
it'll take until you get your casse rot dish back.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
What we're saying? Oh yeah, sound tracking Charlie Brown, Christmas
(11:33):
Love and Tator doesn't dance. Who's is it that you're
doing with the shug shrug shoulders? What is that?
Speaker 6 (11:39):
Was that?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
That wasn't Big Ben No, no my kids lines? Uh
it was a schrader was playing a piana. Yeah, alright, well,
Merry Christmas. All right now, I'll let's break away of
(12:02):
missing for this time.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Christmas times are coming. It's right around the bend. I'll
be done by in presents, but I don't know. When
I'm out here Christmas shopping at the discount mall and
whatever's in my wallet, they'll probably get it all. When
(12:33):
I was just a baby, Christmas time was fun. But
when you buy the presence, your work has never done.
My fig December bank roll is looking mighty slim. Time
to making another pit stuff at the t yonder comes
(13:21):
my cousin with his brand new master plan to wish
me merry Christmas and borrow's seven grand Him and that
wife of his'n are happy as can be because he
just got out of prison. It's who he came to see. Yeah,
(14:07):
my family's full of knitwits. They're kind of on the skids.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
This year.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I have bought three boot jobs, new toys for sixteen kids.
I'm trailer park in Santa I'm saving my dumkin phone.
If i don't seem real, jolly, it's because I'm flat
as bros.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
And Huzer Bush. Good morning, and you got the Big
Show on the radio. More chances you to win coming
up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 12 (14:45):
Home, I have no home, hunted despies leaping like an animal.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The younger is my home.
Speaker 10 (14:59):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I will show the world that I am its master.
Speaker 13 (15:04):
I will create my own race of people, a race
of atomic superman that will conquer the world. And here
are the first two John boy and Billy from the
Big Show.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Good Morning, it's a big showing the radio talking about Peanuts, Christmas,
Eve and Charlie Brown. Get a little taste of it
with our actors.
Speaker 8 (16:04):
And now John Boyn believes nerve Racking. Christmas Part two
presents Mister Sulu and Sean Connery performing a scene from
a Charlie Brown Christmas.
Speaker 12 (16:16):
What you spent your money on? That scrawny little tree?
What a blockhead of all the Charlie Brown moves in
your life? This is the Charlie Brownish good grief.
Speaker 8 (16:29):
Everything I touched gets the ruden. I guess I really
am a blockhead whom I tune in again next time
when we'll hear a pig pen and say, hey, big man,
let me hold another.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Good morning. Got a big show on the radio coming up.
We played John boyd Jebity for a big old Red
Mags prize pack. Red Mags makes the best trimmers and
blowers and commercial zero turn Moors got a two year
unlimited hours warning Kawasaki Engines Heavy dudey fabricated decks mode
like a pro with Redmax. Click on the link when
you hit the Big Show dot com. We'll play more
(17:07):
than minutes. We're right now from the desk of Tighter
Tayman News. There is what to watch. Here's Marcie Tighter Moran.
Speaker 7 (17:17):
We're gonna look and see what was rocking at the
box office over the weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Mwana Io was the number one movie.
Speaker 7 (17:23):
For the third straight weekend Pro Disney, followed closely by Wicked,
with Arianna Gromde in second place. Craven the Hunter came
in third. It earned eleven million at the box office,
giving it the worst opening for any Sony Marvel movie
including the legendary Bombing Morbius and Madam Webb. So it's
(17:46):
crazy for a Marvel movie to open up his I.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Didn't even realize that was a Marvel that I told
you guy. It was just a good no wild hunter,
all right.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
Gladiator two came in fourth place, and fifth place went
to the Lord of the Rings The War of the
rah Rahari. I know all the Lord of the Rings
fans are very upset with me, but I cannot pronounce that.
So it came in fifth and it's an animated Lord
of the Rings I didn't bring.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
You could not get any worse.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
Oh, really, opening up this Friday.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Moufasa.
Speaker 7 (18:21):
It's a CGI photorealastic realistic animated movie about Mufasa. It's
a musical drama, and it's both the prequel and the
sequel to the twenty nineteen remake of the nineteen ninety
four film The Lion King.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Oh, kind of the bad Guy. Okay, so you got
the prequel and the ost Q. What do you call it?
A prequel and a sequel prequel in a sequel in
one movie?
Speaker 7 (18:49):
I look at that.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Wow, huh flashbacks lass just nice and let those people
go yes, returning voices.
Speaker 7 (18:59):
Beyonce will return this.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Movie over now. Yeah. Donald Glover is also in it.
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Aaron Pierre and Beyonce's daughter Blue Ivy Carter debut.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I've been worried sick.
Speaker 7 (19:13):
I think she's gonna make it. Another animated flick coming
out Friday, Sonic the Hedgehog three. Know anyone who'd want
to go see that one? This is an action adventure
mix of live actors and animation. Jim Carrey came out
of retirement to perform in Sonic the Hedgehog three.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
We all better get great Christmas gifts from you, otherwise
we're calling.
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Matt and This Hedgehog three movie is about Sonic Knuckles
and Tails. They reunite against a powerful new adversary, Shadow,
a mysterious villain with powers unlike anything they've based before.
With their abilities outmatched, Team Sonic must seek out an
unlikely alliance.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Hopefully that'll be quick as well. Keep up with them.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Ninety eight minutes and that's a wrap of what I thank.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
You very much. Well, let's get us a winner. Let's
play john Boy Jeopardy review. Yesterday's question. We found out
the largest man made structure on Earth. In water where
you think actually located on Staten Island, New York. This
is what it's used for. Garbage way taller than the
Judge of Liberty. Yeah, thank you. Today's John Boy Jefforty.
(20:21):
According to a recent survey among mall shoppers, this is
the number one gift they hope to receive this Christmas.
What is John Boy's wonderful thing? That is the dream
of a lot. It is, and that reminds me of
that brand new waffle House ball cap with embroidered logo
and a camo bill for grabs my wonderful thing. Okay,
(20:43):
all right, let's get us a winner here one eight
hundred big shows you told free line we go. Do
we get a winner on John Boy Jeffardy? We play next,
(21:17):
Good Morning, it's a big show on the radio. Featured
track from the Big Show bit Box. How about Larry
the cable Gowney John Boymilli album. He was in telling
us about his favorite Christmas carols. It was wrong, very
very wrong. It is funny keyword Larry dragging out when
you hit the Big Show dot comy. Right now, let's
(21:38):
play Yeah live across America.
Speaker 6 (21:41):
It's John Boy Champany and now your host. His all
time favorite Christmas song is the one where Batman smells
and Robin lay's an egg. So good luck getting that
out of your head, y'all.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 9 (21:57):
That game wasn't shot.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Done, Chelsea. There to you. All right, let's say, hey,
Eddie out of Campo Bellow, South Carolina, Good morning, Eddie.
It's Teddy, Teddy out of Capa Bella. It's Teddy Jackie.
You are getting closer, I would do. It's just out
of tea and there you have it right there. All right, Well, Teddy,
you got the first shot at John boydjepardy this morning.
(22:21):
So have you finished up your Christmas shopping yet? Teddy?
That's not the question, first thing, okay, not a requirement.
I'm just wondering because we got a mall question. Have
you ever done one of those surveys in the mall?
Speaker 14 (22:36):
You know, I ask you questions.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Oh yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 15 (22:40):
I've done that.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Okay, all right, I think we're finished bonding now now
we can hit it.
Speaker 12 (22:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
According to a recent survey among mall shoppers, this is
the number one gift they hope to receive this Christmas.
What you think, Teddy? I'm gonna step out on a
limb and say cash money, say cash on the barrel
head son.
Speaker 6 (23:04):
You all right, wow, makes them really on the morning
if they wrap them.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
All right them all yeah? So okay, So tell you
let's help you out here. Hear the list what people
would like to have for Christmas? Number one is cash.
Speaker 14 (23:24):
Then you got clothing or shoes, then gift cards, really food, drinks, perfume,
colownas five, number six, smartphones and tablets, number seven, jewelry, watches,
number eight, computer computer accessories, number nine consumer electronics, and
number ten books are ebooks.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, let's sit with cash. Yeah, yes, sir, I hope
somebody sends meet some cash because I'm broke, hungry and
almost homeless. What I mean, don't go on it? Can
I can?
Speaker 16 (24:04):
I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Of course you can Cooter May at the pig penn
in camp in South Carolina. And here's the kicker to
my gal, Jenny at the Campbellup post office. All ride.
So you'll be waiting for that cash arriving the mail
you might want to send. Check Why Teddy, you got it, buddy.
You hang off present, you're listening and winning on the
(24:27):
big show. Oh, man, I was jogging about no mail cash,
you know, go through the mail.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
Mail theft is that an all time high. I saw
a news story over the weekend that that not only
is is theft way up, but theft by employees of
the mail, the United States Post Office employees is way.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Up because they're hiring temps rifle.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Are taking jobs just so they can steal the mail.
And then you know, working for like thirty days and.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Well, you know I've been through something like that personal, Yeah,
like a whole bundle. It's like stolen. It never made.
You have to go through all the bills that you
played as awful. I don't know what to do about.
You know, you gotta trust somebody.
Speaker 6 (25:14):
Sure, Well, they're blaming it on all of the budget
cuts now they don't have enough people to put in
the security positions. They've got thousands of cameras all over
the postal system and they don't have any idea how
many of them work.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh right, maa, oh god, y'all be careful out there
has some mother jez wait.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Man, but happy birthday man, Christlers don't send time, just.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Drop it off at the door. No, don't do that.
They're robbing over the front door. Good Morning, Big Shows
(26:29):
on the radio December to seventeenth, headed towards Christmas time now,
but it's Christmas tune. Let's go to the rough section
of Temptation. Trailer Park Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Junior Nation presents another song based on a dumb drunken experience.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
It goes like this, because it went like this.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
I saw Delbert beat up Sam and cross overrep the
Walmart late last night. It wasn't really Santa, just a
fat guy.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
With a beard.
Speaker 10 (27:20):
He cut in line in.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Front of Delbert. That's when things got weird.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
I saw Delbert knuckles sat his head, just another classic
Walmart night was a massive Christmas fail when they took
him straight to.
Speaker 17 (27:44):
Jail for beating up one Sandy Clause last night.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
I saw Delbert beat up Santa Claus over at the
Walmart store last night. This fat boy cut in line
in a little sent a tap and when Delbert had
a beer twelve.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
You don't want none of that, no not.
Speaker 15 (28:35):
I watched Delbert way along Sand's head and he wants
to see this boy ride.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
We had to.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
Throw his bill because they took his astroga before beating up.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
On Sandy Claus last night.
Speaker 8 (29:01):
So over a oh.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
My, just last night. Good morning. It's a big show
(29:45):
on the radio about twenty minutes away from Christmas, classic
How the Grump Stole Christmas? And right now a grump
of another kind. It's time for the Grumpy on Oh
man a cheese and pineapples.
Speaker 12 (30:06):
I'm old and I hate anything to do with Christmas.
In my day, we didn't have any big fancy malls
to go to. If we wanted to give someone a gift,
we'd find some poor dead animal, throw solid in the snow,
stick a bowl on it, and give it to our sweetie.
(30:26):
Or we go out in the barnyard and get handfuls
of mule dung and make up poop bunny. Hey, look
at me, I'm handing out dead animals and crack runners.
I'm a stupid jackass hot doodly dang. And we liked
it that way. We didn't go for all that peace
(30:49):
on garbage.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
On Christmas.
Speaker 12 (30:53):
We'd get licked up on for minute gopher in it
and go around town beating the daylights out of the
people screwed us over the past year. Then we'd cut
their ears off and staple unto the barn door. The
one with the most ears got to sleep with the
town floozy. Then we get herpes and our privates and
(31:14):
fall off. Hey look at us, We're a bunch of
in a drinking floozy humper.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Year hot and barbarias.
Speaker 12 (31:22):
Come on, help us find our winkies y but dip
but dingly dode. And we liked it. We loved it,
And it weren't no pretty tree sitting in the middle
of the house neither. If we wanted to decorate something,
we drag our crazy drooling maniacs spinster an out of
(31:44):
the root cellar and drake collard greens and noodles over
her and pray else she wouldn't have one of her
conniption fits in the middle of the night and kill
us all by digging out our brains with a rusty
spoon and using our skulls as a soup bowl. Hey
look here, we're a bunch of bass ackwards hay seeds
decorating our looney kin.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
And when she kills us, we're gonna go straight to hell.
Oh happy day.
Speaker 12 (32:10):
We're morons, and we liked it, but we did have
sandy claws until the year that stupid tubber guts dried
shimmying down the chimney, were in that fuzzy suitor.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
He has burst into flames. By the time he hit
the ground, he was like the human torch.
Speaker 12 (32:31):
We chased him halfway across the county, pelting him with
rocks and manure, taking bets on when he'd fall. And
when we were dragging his charred corpse back to the house,
we saw them reindeer on the roof. We bashed him
in the head with his shovel and filled the freezer
with venison. And then we buried Sandy. And that's layout
back so we wouldn't have to spend the rest of
(32:52):
our lives in the jug playing house with a four
hundred pound bruiser.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Wooptie wingle Wangle.
Speaker 12 (33:00):
We're crazy, Sandy burning Backw's maniacs. We bobbecued Father Christmas
and Friday's reindeer. We should hang long live stupidity.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
And we liked it. We loved it. Oh jigglely jangly
Christmas steaks h Merry Christmas, right back, A yeah, good morning.
The Big Show's on the radio. More Big Show right
around the corner.
Speaker 16 (33:32):
I'm working with mister mill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listening to John Boy and Billy and that
they're big show. I like the way they talk. They're
funny haha, not funny queers, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John Boy had a hard time
getting started in the morning.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Ain't gotten the Gays? Good morning, It's a big shaw
(34:28):
the radio. Have me hang around a few more minutes,
you'll be treated to the Big Show Classic, Have a
grump Stole Christmas starring the late Great Robert d Raefer.
He now he Quick Christmas.
Speaker 8 (34:40):
Classic and Now John Boyn Believes Nerve Wracking Christmas. Part
two presents Mister Sulu and Sean Connery performing a scene
from the holiday classic It's a Wonderful life, Buffalo gals,
won't you come out today? Come out today, Come out
today and.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Dance by the light the moon.
Speaker 12 (35:01):
You know, I'm starting to wish I was never born.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Oh by.
Speaker 8 (35:07):
Tune in again next time when you'll hear Clarence the
Apprentice Angel say he big man.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Let me hold Adelie. Good morning, Got the Big Show
on the radio. Hang on for the classic How the
grum Stole Christmas? First Day? What you can win if
you can beat the blonde. We go open them up
here in a second for the Happy Herd Prize pack.
Happy Herd makes top quality attractives, minerals, and feed for deer, bear,
(35:34):
and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd, you better
hope your neighbors aren't. Just click on a Happy Herd
banner the Big Show dot Com intercode JBB get ten
percent off of checkout, hang on play for ten minutes.
Speaker 8 (35:49):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode How
the Grump Stole Christmas. All the cast of The Big
Show liked Christmas a lot, but the Grump, their curmudgeon
at large, he did not. The Grump had a tude
(36:10):
about the whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why.
No one quite knows the reason. Some say his head
wasn't screwed on just right. It could be perhaps that
his shoes were too tight. But the most likely reason
that he wasn't tickled may have been that his liver
was totally pickled. But whatever his liver, his head, or
(36:33):
his shoes, he sat home on Christmas Eve guzzling booze.
He grumbled and grumped to his long suffering honey.
Speaker 18 (36:43):
Christmas just a big scam to make money. Wife and
I on the seventy two years. I've put up with it.
Now I must stop this Christmas from coming.
Speaker 8 (36:54):
But how then he got an idea, an awful idea.
The grump got a wonderful, awful idea.
Speaker 18 (37:02):
I will make a fake Santa Claus outfit with spots,
and I'll go to the mall and.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Harass all the brats.
Speaker 18 (37:10):
I'll make sure that every last shopper is dissed. Next
time they see Santa Claus, they'll be pissed.
Speaker 8 (37:18):
His wife said crazy.
Speaker 18 (37:21):
He said, quit your benching, hush, now, get yourself back
in the cushion.
Speaker 8 (37:27):
So Grumpy Claws wore his disguise that was fake and
waited till Maul Santa went on his break. He went
to the fountain to Mal Santa's castle, three sheets to
the wind and ready to hassle. He invited the kids
to come sit on his throne and said.
Speaker 18 (37:44):
Keep your list short and then leave me alone.
Speaker 8 (37:47):
Then Grumpy Claws started up quite a to do. He
dissed Ferby and Elmo and Pokemon too. Some kids were fooled,
but one kid was quicker.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Hey, daddy, both Santa smells just like cheap.
Speaker 8 (38:02):
His dad knew the Grump wasn't like Santa's passed.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
He said, you're right, Jeffrey, this Senna's guess. The mall
cop said, Waalser, oh Senna.
Speaker 8 (38:14):
His face, and quick as a flash, sprayed him down
with some mace. The fake Santa Wobble then dropped into Dreamland.
The cops dragged him out past the gap and ice
cream Land. They got in their jeep and drove to
his house and handed him over to his loving spouse.
His wife said, I'm just glad. They said they won't
(38:35):
sue and waited for him to dry out and come
to And what happened next, Well, eyewitnesses say that the
Grump's liver grew by three sizes. That they his holiday
brainstorm came out as a bust, and from that Christmas
on he held in his disgust. But the very next
Christmas he hatched a new scheme and he he himself
(38:59):
the Grump guzzled jim Bean. The moral Most stories like
this have all got one, but in this particular case,
well there's not one. And that is the tale of
the Grump who got soused a Christmas time. John Boy
and Billy play House tune in again next time, and
hear Old dubhaller, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Oh that's awesome. Ay, well, let's play Bee de Blonde.
Come on one eight hundred big shows. You told free Line
across America got a Happy Herd prize bag of for grabs.
Let's have some fun play next
Good morning everybody. The big shows on the radio, hangout.
We're gonna show our acting jobs coming up. I'm not
an actor, damn you.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm a movie star. I did one play in Summer stuff.
I have one line I've agocket. Thank god I can
write down old my bits. I'm the dumb boy and
Billy Big Show.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Lovely shine.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Of you to see.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
S's a real sensitive my ffault. Oh it's Christmas time.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
You're ruining it.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Seb the seventeen and the Big Show is brightly flaring,
and your listening devicescuse me, just the radio now, you know,
tell me what you're listening to us all God, lets
you searing your new.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Gemini prey soon. You ain't gonna need no real human
friends to stop normal. We'll do the talking for you,
your human connection. Celebrate her. That is my favorite partner.
(02:13):
That's a hard barn in there. No, no, nephew. Oh,
I'm sorry a little a while, I'll get a little flash.
I just got to sing. You know, my mama was
choir director for fifty years Andrew Lamol Baptist Church. He
let me play the trumpet, And were you ever actually
in the choir. I was trying to tell you about
(02:33):
my big moment. Okay, she let me play the trumpet. Oh,
I mean with the choir.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
I' meant singing with the choir.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Wonder why that is practice? He wouldn't show up for it.
Oh I could do it my mind, doing what mama said.
Mama are never wrong. Thank you. Bos all right, we'll
good well, I hope you can attack the Tuesday, December seventeenth,
(03:02):
the same glean.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
We are.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
No good morning big shows on the radio. Well, thank you, Marcy.
Pay me a great compliment. Well I was singing, Well,
I have a right up for a finish. You just
what happened?
Speaker 7 (03:19):
Did you put us cemented the memory for some small.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Child, cemented of small child's memory.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
It's from the heart too.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
Now every time may hear that song.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Welcome and pass that on to your kids. Those generations
are doing here with the big show. All right, let's
get our LS tractor prize back out. That's the first
one up this morning. We got your blaze orange bleany
I mean, Beanie, have about the T shirt for you?
Doggy screen cleaner, keychain go down. Let's track to USA
dot com finding local de little learn why cousiny wer
start blue and stay blue all right, three days in
(03:55):
this stree where we will glean our categories. They win
Getting Hot. Nineteen thirty three, the very first NFL Football
Championship playoff game was held at Wrigleyfield in Chicago. Chicago Bears,
If he did the New York Giants twenty three, twenty one,
(04:15):
thirty three years? What that we move up to? Nineteen
ninety four, a Boston man was arrested at a hospital
after taking two live lobsters from a supermarket tag and
stuffing them down his pants. Oh how'd that go well?
Police called it shoplifting, Doctors called it a do it
yourself a sector it. Finally, on his date No. Three,
(04:39):
a bank robbery in New Mexico lost a bid to
overturn his conviction by arguing the stupidity of the crime
proved he was too drunk to be responsible. The defendant
argued his attempt to rob the same bank teller who
moments before had refused to cash his check was stupid
enough to show he was inebriated. A compelling argument, but
(05:02):
the court didn't buy it. It's so good it works there,
Matt Luck. There you go. Let's think about stupid things
you do. When you're drunk. For that third category, you've
never done it, call somebody you know and now one
eight hundred Big Show we play out birdst next go morning.
(05:45):
It's a big Show on the radio for your Tuesday,
December to seventeenth. Our feature track from the Big Show,
Big Box about old body Larry the cable guy. We
got his favorite Christmas carols we captured on the Big Show.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
It's wrong, wrong, but so funny you word Larry Larry
on the.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
John boyn Billy Christmas album.
Speaker 7 (06:08):
And right now.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Upburst. Let's play Upburst.
Speaker 8 (06:15):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 9 (06:19):
John Boy and Billy gave the prizes from the Big
Prize being Let's go ma contested number one. This should
really be a lot of fun when you're playing Upburst,
have a lurry up and guest time you love the
best time you love a big shots.
Speaker 10 (06:40):
Let's say had James from Bluff City and us say
we have shots.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Wan the James. Here go boy, what's up? Hey buddy,
you are man. Welcome in here, first contestant. But this morning,
Bluff City don't play don't play poker with anybody from
Bluff City unless they have some tails.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
All right, how about the tale that they're from Bluff City.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Well, James, glad you made it in here, buddy. Ready
to get through these three category Well, let's do it
in five seconds. Three cities with the NFL team. Ready
to go, Chicago beat James named three shellfish Ready go,
(07:38):
Jee's loves you cramp all right, don't be shellfish when
you're sharing your shellfish? Okay for the wind. Three things
you won't find that funny if you're drunk. Three things
you do when drunk. Ready to go? Asked to me
(08:02):
though you get mean and lean pip. All right, yeah,
we get me and passed by there. James, you got
the big old LS tractor hunting season prize pack. We'll
get it over to you in Bluff City, or will we?
(08:24):
We don't know, but thank you, Joe, you got it, buddy.
You hang on, Jack come and see here in Bluff City. Yeah,
my look, man, where where where are you listening to us?
Out of Chad nuggat uh Knoxville, Knoxville. Awesome, buddy, Jackie,
get James address, then I might have to get up
(08:46):
with him. Let me let me know what you're coming on.
Bake a pie. He might be bluffing. Yeah, might be okay,
I let it go, I let it go. Hang on, James, right,
just jump out, catch you up on your news. Right
on the other side of this report. If women were
(09:07):
wise men, if we delve into this whole Christmas sid
(09:49):
good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Listen
twenty minutes away from Johnny no Ki singing folsome of
Christmas blues, but right now.
Speaker 11 (10:01):
Thank you for the music, Randall. What would have happened
if there had been three wise women instead of three
wise men, Well, they would have asked directions, arrived on time,
help deliver the baby, clean the stable, made a castle roll,
and brought practical gifts. But what would they have said
(10:21):
when they left? Something like did you see the sandals
Mary was wearing with that man? What about that baby
doesn't look anything like Joseph? How about Virgin?
Speaker 6 (10:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Right, and you were in school?
Speaker 11 (10:43):
Oh what about can you believe they let all those
disgusting animals in?
Speaker 8 (10:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 11 (10:51):
Maybe I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now,
and that donkey they're writing has seen better days too.
And then me, I want to bet on how long
it'll take until you get your casse rot dish back.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
What we're saying? Oh yeah, sound tracking Charlie Brown, Christmas
(11:33):
Love and Tator doesn't dance. Who's is it that you're
doing with the shug shrug shoulders? What is that?
Speaker 6 (11:39):
Was that?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
That wasn't Big Ben No, no my kids lines? Uh
it was a schrader was playing a piana. Yeah, alright, well,
Merry Christmas. All right now, I'll let's break away of
(12:02):
missing for this time.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Christmas times are coming. It's right around the bend. I'll
be done by in presents, but I don't know. When
I'm out here Christmas shopping at the discount mall and
whatever's in my wallet, they'll probably get it all. When
(12:33):
I was just a baby, Christmas time was fun. But
when you buy the presence, your work has never done.
My fig December bank roll is looking mighty slim. Time
to making another pit stuff at the t yonder comes
(13:21):
my cousin with his brand new master plan to wish
me merry Christmas and borrow's seven grand Him and that
wife of his'n are happy as can be because he
just got out of prison. It's who he came to see. Yeah,
(14:07):
my family's full of knitwits. They're kind of on the skids.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
This year.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I have bought three boot jobs, new toys for sixteen kids.
I'm trailer park in Santa I'm saving my dumkin phone.
If i don't seem real, jolly, it's because I'm flat
as bros.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
And Huzer Bush. Good morning, and you got the Big
Show on the radio. More chances you to win coming
up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 12 (14:45):
Home, I have no home, hunted despies leaping like an animal.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The younger is my home.
Speaker 10 (14:59):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I will show the world that I am its master.
Speaker 13 (15:04):
I will create my own race of people, a race
of atomic superman that will conquer the world. And here
are the first two John boy and Billy from the
Big Show.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Good Morning, it's a big showing the radio talking about Peanuts, Christmas,
Eve and Charlie Brown. Get a little taste of it
with our actors.
Speaker 8 (16:04):
And now John Boyn believes nerve Racking. Christmas Part two
presents Mister Sulu and Sean Connery performing a scene from
a Charlie Brown Christmas.
Speaker 12 (16:16):
What you spent your money on? That scrawny little tree?
What a blockhead of all the Charlie Brown moves in
your life? This is the Charlie Brownish good grief.
Speaker 8 (16:29):
Everything I touched gets the ruden. I guess I really
am a blockhead whom I tune in again next time
when we'll hear a pig pen and say, hey, big man,
let me hold another.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Good morning. Got a big show on the radio coming up.
We played John boyd Jebity for a big old Red
Mags prize pack. Red Mags makes the best trimmers and
blowers and commercial zero turn Moors got a two year
unlimited hours warning Kawasaki Engines Heavy dudey fabricated decks mode
like a pro with Redmax. Click on the link when
you hit the Big Show dot com. We'll play more
(17:07):
than minutes. We're right now from the desk of Tighter
Tayman News. There is what to watch. Here's Marcie Tighter Moran.
Speaker 7 (17:17):
We're gonna look and see what was rocking at the
box office over the weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Mwana Io was the number one movie.
Speaker 7 (17:23):
For the third straight weekend Pro Disney, followed closely by Wicked,
with Arianna Gromde in second place. Craven the Hunter came
in third. It earned eleven million at the box office,
giving it the worst opening for any Sony Marvel movie
including the legendary Bombing Morbius and Madam Webb. So it's
(17:46):
crazy for a Marvel movie to open up his I.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Didn't even realize that was a Marvel that I told
you guy. It was just a good no wild hunter,
all right.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
Gladiator two came in fourth place, and fifth place went
to the Lord of the Rings The War of the
rah Rahari. I know all the Lord of the Rings
fans are very upset with me, but I cannot pronounce that.
So it came in fifth and it's an animated Lord
of the Rings I didn't bring.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
You could not get any worse.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
Oh, really, opening up this Friday.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Moufasa.
Speaker 7 (18:21):
It's a CGI photorealastic realistic animated movie about Mufasa. It's
a musical drama, and it's both the prequel and the
sequel to the twenty nineteen remake of the nineteen ninety
four film The Lion King.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Oh, kind of the bad Guy. Okay, so you got
the prequel and the ost Q. What do you call it?
A prequel and a sequel prequel in a sequel in
one movie?
Speaker 7 (18:49):
I look at that.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Wow, huh flashbacks lass just nice and let those people
go yes, returning voices.
Speaker 7 (18:59):
Beyonce will return this.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Movie over now. Yeah. Donald Glover is also in it.
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Aaron Pierre and Beyonce's daughter Blue Ivy Carter debut.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I've been worried sick.
Speaker 7 (19:13):
I think she's gonna make it. Another animated flick coming
out Friday, Sonic the Hedgehog three. Know anyone who'd want
to go see that one? This is an action adventure
mix of live actors and animation. Jim Carrey came out
of retirement to perform in Sonic the Hedgehog three.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
We all better get great Christmas gifts from you, otherwise
we're calling.
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Matt and This Hedgehog three movie is about Sonic Knuckles
and Tails. They reunite against a powerful new adversary, Shadow,
a mysterious villain with powers unlike anything they've based before.
With their abilities outmatched, Team Sonic must seek out an
unlikely alliance.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Hopefully that'll be quick as well. Keep up with them.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Ninety eight minutes and that's a wrap of what I thank.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
You very much. Well, let's get us a winner. Let's
play john Boy Jeopardy review. Yesterday's question. We found out
the largest man made structure on Earth. In water where
you think actually located on Staten Island, New York. This
is what it's used for. Garbage way taller than the
Judge of Liberty. Yeah, thank you. Today's John Boy Jefforty.
(20:21):
According to a recent survey among mall shoppers, this is
the number one gift they hope to receive this Christmas.
What is John Boy's wonderful thing? That is the dream
of a lot. It is, and that reminds me of
that brand new waffle House ball cap with embroidered logo
and a camo bill for grabs my wonderful thing. Okay,
(20:43):
all right, let's get us a winner here one eight
hundred big shows you told free line we go. Do
we get a winner on John Boy Jeffardy? We play next,
(21:17):
Good Morning, it's a big show on the radio. Featured
track from the Big Show bit Box. How about Larry
the cable Gowney John Boymilli album. He was in telling
us about his favorite Christmas carols. It was wrong, very
very wrong. It is funny keyword Larry dragging out when
you hit the Big Show dot comy. Right now, let's
(21:38):
play Yeah live across America.
Speaker 6 (21:41):
It's John Boy Champany and now your host. His all
time favorite Christmas song is the one where Batman smells
and Robin lay's an egg. So good luck getting that
out of your head, y'all.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 9 (21:57):
That game wasn't shot.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Done, Chelsea. There to you. All right, let's say, hey,
Eddie out of Campo Bellow, South Carolina, Good morning, Eddie.
It's Teddy, Teddy out of Capa Bella. It's Teddy Jackie.
You are getting closer, I would do. It's just out
of tea and there you have it right there. All right, Well, Teddy,
you got the first shot at John boydjepardy this morning.
(22:21):
So have you finished up your Christmas shopping yet? Teddy?
That's not the question, first thing, okay, not a requirement.
I'm just wondering because we got a mall question. Have
you ever done one of those surveys in the mall?
Speaker 14 (22:36):
You know, I ask you questions.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Oh yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 15 (22:40):
I've done that.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Okay, all right, I think we're finished bonding now now
we can hit it.
Speaker 12 (22:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
According to a recent survey among mall shoppers, this is
the number one gift they hope to receive this Christmas.
What you think, Teddy? I'm gonna step out on a
limb and say cash money, say cash on the barrel
head son.
Speaker 6 (23:04):
You all right, wow, makes them really on the morning
if they wrap them.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
All right them all yeah? So okay, So tell you
let's help you out here. Hear the list what people
would like to have for Christmas? Number one is cash.
Speaker 14 (23:24):
Then you got clothing or shoes, then gift cards, really food, drinks, perfume,
colownas five, number six, smartphones and tablets, number seven, jewelry, watches,
number eight, computer computer accessories, number nine consumer electronics, and
number ten books are ebooks.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, let's sit with cash. Yeah, yes, sir, I hope
somebody sends meet some cash because I'm broke, hungry and
almost homeless. What I mean, don't go on it? Can
I can?
Speaker 16 (24:04):
I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Of course you can Cooter May at the pig penn
in camp in South Carolina. And here's the kicker to
my gal, Jenny at the Campbellup post office. All ride.
So you'll be waiting for that cash arriving the mail
you might want to send. Check Why Teddy, you got it, buddy.
You hang off present, you're listening and winning on the
(24:27):
big show. Oh, man, I was jogging about no mail cash,
you know, go through the mail.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
Mail theft is that an all time high. I saw
a news story over the weekend that that not only
is is theft way up, but theft by employees of
the mail, the United States Post Office employees is way.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Up because they're hiring temps rifle.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Are taking jobs just so they can steal the mail.
And then you know, working for like thirty days and.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Well, you know I've been through something like that personal, Yeah,
like a whole bundle. It's like stolen. It never made.
You have to go through all the bills that you
played as awful. I don't know what to do about.
You know, you gotta trust somebody.
Speaker 6 (25:14):
Sure, Well, they're blaming it on all of the budget
cuts now they don't have enough people to put in
the security positions. They've got thousands of cameras all over
the postal system and they don't have any idea how
many of them work.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh right, maa, oh god, y'all be careful out there
has some mother jez wait.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Man, but happy birthday man, Christlers don't send time, just.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Drop it off at the door. No, don't do that.
They're robbing over the front door. Good Morning, Big Shows
(26:29):
on the radio December to seventeenth, headed towards Christmas time now,
but it's Christmas tune. Let's go to the rough section
of Temptation. Trailer Park Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Junior Nation presents another song based on a dumb drunken experience.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
It goes like this, because it went like this.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
I saw Delbert beat up Sam and cross overrep the
Walmart late last night. It wasn't really Santa, just a
fat guy.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
With a beard.
Speaker 10 (27:20):
He cut in line in.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Front of Delbert. That's when things got weird.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
I saw Delbert knuckles sat his head, just another classic
Walmart night was a massive Christmas fail when they took
him straight to.
Speaker 17 (27:44):
Jail for beating up one Sandy Clause last night.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
I saw Delbert beat up Santa Claus over at the
Walmart store last night. This fat boy cut in line
in a little sent a tap and when Delbert had
a beer twelve.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
You don't want none of that, no not.
Speaker 15 (28:35):
I watched Delbert way along Sand's head and he wants
to see this boy ride.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
We had to.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
Throw his bill because they took his astroga before beating up.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
On Sandy Claus last night.
Speaker 8 (29:01):
So over a oh.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
My, just last night. Good morning. It's a big show
(29:45):
on the radio about twenty minutes away from Christmas, classic
How the Grump Stole Christmas? And right now a grump
of another kind. It's time for the Grumpy on Oh
man a cheese and pineapples.
Speaker 12 (30:06):
I'm old and I hate anything to do with Christmas.
In my day, we didn't have any big fancy malls
to go to. If we wanted to give someone a gift,
we'd find some poor dead animal, throw solid in the snow,
stick a bowl on it, and give it to our sweetie.
(30:26):
Or we go out in the barnyard and get handfuls
of mule dung and make up poop bunny. Hey, look
at me, I'm handing out dead animals and crack runners.
I'm a stupid jackass hot doodly dang. And we liked
it that way. We didn't go for all that peace
(30:49):
on garbage.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
On Christmas.
Speaker 12 (30:53):
We'd get licked up on for minute gopher in it
and go around town beating the daylights out of the
people screwed us over the past year. Then we'd cut
their ears off and staple unto the barn door. The
one with the most ears got to sleep with the
town floozy. Then we get herpes and our privates and
(31:14):
fall off. Hey look at us, We're a bunch of
in a drinking floozy humper.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Year hot and barbarias.
Speaker 12 (31:22):
Come on, help us find our winkies y but dip
but dingly dode. And we liked it. We loved it,
And it weren't no pretty tree sitting in the middle
of the house neither. If we wanted to decorate something,
we drag our crazy drooling maniacs spinster an out of
(31:44):
the root cellar and drake collard greens and noodles over
her and pray else she wouldn't have one of her
conniption fits in the middle of the night and kill
us all by digging out our brains with a rusty
spoon and using our skulls as a soup bowl. Hey
look here, we're a bunch of bass ackwards hay seeds
decorating our looney kin.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
And when she kills us, we're gonna go straight to hell.
Oh happy day.
Speaker 12 (32:10):
We're morons, and we liked it, but we did have
sandy claws until the year that stupid tubber guts dried
shimmying down the chimney, were in that fuzzy suitor.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
He has burst into flames. By the time he hit
the ground, he was like the human torch.
Speaker 12 (32:31):
We chased him halfway across the county, pelting him with
rocks and manure, taking bets on when he'd fall. And
when we were dragging his charred corpse back to the house,
we saw them reindeer on the roof. We bashed him
in the head with his shovel and filled the freezer
with venison. And then we buried Sandy. And that's layout
back so we wouldn't have to spend the rest of
(32:52):
our lives in the jug playing house with a four
hundred pound bruiser.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Wooptie wingle Wangle.
Speaker 12 (33:00):
We're crazy, Sandy burning Backw's maniacs. We bobbecued Father Christmas
and Friday's reindeer. We should hang long live stupidity.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
And we liked it. We loved it. Oh jigglely jangly
Christmas steaks h Merry Christmas, right back, A yeah, good morning.
The Big Show's on the radio. More Big Show right
around the corner.
Speaker 16 (33:32):
I'm working with mister mill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listening to John Boy and Billy and that
they're big show. I like the way they talk. They're
funny haha, not funny queers, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John Boy had a hard time
getting started in the morning.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Ain't gotten the Gays? Good morning, It's a big shaw
(34:28):
the radio. Have me hang around a few more minutes,
you'll be treated to the Big Show Classic, Have a
grump Stole Christmas starring the late Great Robert d Raefer.
He now he Quick Christmas.
Speaker 8 (34:40):
Classic and Now John Boyn Believes Nerve Wracking Christmas. Part
two presents Mister Sulu and Sean Connery performing a scene
from the holiday classic It's a Wonderful life, Buffalo gals,
won't you come out today? Come out today, Come out
today and.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Dance by the light the moon.
Speaker 12 (35:01):
You know, I'm starting to wish I was never born.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Oh by.
Speaker 8 (35:07):
Tune in again next time when you'll hear Clarence the
Apprentice Angel say he big man.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Let me hold Adelie. Good morning, Got the Big Show
on the radio. Hang on for the classic How the
grum Stole Christmas? First Day? What you can win if
you can beat the blonde. We go open them up
here in a second for the Happy Herd Prize pack.
Happy Herd makes top quality attractives, minerals, and feed for deer, bear,
(35:34):
and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd, you better
hope your neighbors aren't. Just click on a Happy Herd
banner the Big Show dot Com intercode JBB get ten
percent off of checkout, hang on play for ten minutes.
Speaker 8 (35:49):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode How
the Grump Stole Christmas. All the cast of The Big
Show liked Christmas a lot, but the Grump, their curmudgeon
at large, he did not. The Grump had a tude
(36:10):
about the whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why.
No one quite knows the reason. Some say his head
wasn't screwed on just right. It could be perhaps that
his shoes were too tight. But the most likely reason
that he wasn't tickled may have been that his liver
was totally pickled. But whatever his liver, his head, or
(36:33):
his shoes, he sat home on Christmas Eve guzzling booze.
He grumbled and grumped to his long suffering honey.
Speaker 18 (36:43):
Christmas just a big scam to make money. Wife and
I on the seventy two years. I've put up with it.
Now I must stop this Christmas from coming.
Speaker 8 (36:54):
But how then he got an idea, an awful idea.
The grump got a wonderful, awful idea.
Speaker 18 (37:02):
I will make a fake Santa Claus outfit with spots,
and I'll go to the mall and.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Harass all the brats.
Speaker 18 (37:10):
I'll make sure that every last shopper is dissed. Next
time they see Santa Claus, they'll be pissed.
Speaker 8 (37:18):
His wife said crazy.
Speaker 18 (37:21):
He said, quit your benching, hush, now, get yourself back
in the cushion.
Speaker 8 (37:27):
So Grumpy Claws wore his disguise that was fake and
waited till Maul Santa went on his break. He went
to the fountain to Mal Santa's castle, three sheets to
the wind and ready to hassle. He invited the kids
to come sit on his throne and said.
Speaker 18 (37:44):
Keep your list short and then leave me alone.
Speaker 8 (37:47):
Then Grumpy Claws started up quite a to do. He
dissed Ferby and Elmo and Pokemon too. Some kids were fooled,
but one kid was quicker.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Hey, daddy, both Santa smells just like cheap.
Speaker 8 (38:02):
His dad knew the Grump wasn't like Santa's passed.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
He said, you're right, Jeffrey, this Senna's guess. The mall
cop said, Waalser, oh Senna.
Speaker 8 (38:14):
His face, and quick as a flash, sprayed him down
with some mace. The fake Santa Wobble then dropped into Dreamland.
The cops dragged him out past the gap and ice
cream Land. They got in their jeep and drove to
his house and handed him over to his loving spouse.
His wife said, I'm just glad. They said they won't
(38:35):
sue and waited for him to dry out and come
to And what happened next, Well, eyewitnesses say that the
Grump's liver grew by three sizes. That they his holiday
brainstorm came out as a bust, and from that Christmas
on he held in his disgust. But the very next
Christmas he hatched a new scheme and he he himself
(38:59):
the Grump guzzled jim Bean. The moral Most stories like
this have all got one, but in this particular case,
well there's not one. And that is the tale of
the Grump who got soused a Christmas time. John Boy
and Billy play House tune in again next time, and
hear Old dubhaller, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Oh that's awesome. Ay, well, let's play Bee de Blonde.
Come on one eight hundred big shows. You told free Line
across America got a Happy Herd prize bag of for grabs.
Let's have some fun play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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