February 11, 2025 • 40 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we fulfill a request for some songs from the late great Robert D. Raiford beginning with his rendition of “My Favorite Things.. - Tater plans out our week with What to Watch.. - Phil McCracken honors Bobby Boris Picket with a twisted version of his Monster Mash hit.. - Ike Turner has some solid advice for the men who are struggling to find the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.. - the Grumpy Old Man rants on fake boobs.. - and Marvin Webster will wrap things up for us…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up, we
played Beating the Blonde Winterergin's a hardcovering copy of James
Gregory's autobiography A Bushel of Beans on a Peck of
thematas the Life and Times of the Funniest Man in America.
It includes a bookmark autographed by James, available now at
funniestman dot com. Oh, wherever books are sold.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You hang on you win. You won in minutes first
hit it. Come and listen to my story about a guy.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
You know.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
He's the big dumb boober on your radio. It sounds
like a liear, some kind of scam.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
But he became the.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Prince of a town called Graham in.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
North Carolina, bored and raised goofing office. How we spent
most of his days hanging out with Eddie, Mario and Pecker,
pumping gas and running movie projectors. He knew that he
needed to choose a career, not scratching his butt and
hunt deer. He said, radio is where I ought to be.
So he loaded up the truck and moved to Tennessee.
Times were good. Life was a joy living on blogne
(01:12):
with Tennessee fat Boy. Everyone told him he'd never make it.
But he just smiled and said, Yo, I'll just fake
it off to Charlotte, Yo, the big City on Bcy,
saying stuff so Winny paired with brainiact Billy James, Hmmm,
smells like fortune and fame, funny voices, fart jokes and
all that killing competition like Mortal Kombat. A ball cap
(01:33):
on top of a big Cannis Bam, just shining his
crown as the fresh Prince of Graham. Before long he's
in syndication, spreading his stupid across the nation. He said,
watch out, I'm just getting started. Then he did a
(01:55):
push up and started brand new truck parked in the
garage Booger Branch, sendon Entourage. But he's still a man
of the common dirt God holds in his shorts and
stains on his shirt. Now he lives in a mansion
(02:17):
in Swinkie Town, not doing too bad for a hillbilly clown.
But you can't put city in a country ham, so
he'll always be the fresh Prince up ground.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
All right, let's play Beat the Blonde, y'all for the
big Old James Gregory Prize Pack one eight hundred Big show.
You told free Line We're going to contest him. Play
next Good Tuesday Morning, and it's a big show on
(03:15):
the radio. Our feature track from the Big Show bet
Box working on you Valentine's Day album. We got Marvin
Webster with Valentine's Day Tips. There's your keyword tips when
he hit the bed box at the Big Show dot
com there right now, it's time to beat the block.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Does meet our contestant.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
We got Charles out of Easley, South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Good morning, Charles, Good morning, Johnny.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Hell are you this morning?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Mantis? Awesomebody? Hope you doing well? Is fine? I mean
you know you as well?
Speaker 6 (03:52):
He understood, Joe.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'm sure you know what we're gonna do here. We're
gonna ask Taty some questions. You agree or disagree, two
bells before two buzzers, and you win.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Let's do it. Here we go, Marcia. According to the
book Fascinating.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Womanhood, there are two things a woman should rightfully expect
in marriage.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
One is fidelity. What is the other?
Speaker 7 (04:21):
In fidelity, you can expect honesty, honesty.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Fidelity and honesty. Charles agree or disagree with those two things?
Will they kind of go hand in hand?
Speaker 8 (04:40):
Let's agree with Marc.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
You are agreeing you financial financial supports.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
That wasn't a book.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Money wasn't mentioned, all right, did edition?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Okay? All right?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Well Marsy, if your kid is healthy but bow legged,
huh should you do anything to help?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Find him a knock need girl.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
That would help offset?
Speaker 7 (05:14):
No, leave them alone, don't do No, you should, Yes
you should do anything.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
Yes you should help. He's healthy, but yes, something to help.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yes you should help, you should Yeah? All right, Charles
agreed you.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
Had any further Indian?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Okay, agree, let's try again.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
I'm gonna agree with Marsen.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
You're gonna agree that they should try to help your
kid's bow legs. Okay, what would you do?
Speaker 6 (05:53):
Some braces on it?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Bow legs create themselves, by the way, aim for knock need.
If you're looking for that knock kneed girl, they will
find them south as well.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
What a Charles?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
That's all right, buddy, you picked a good one to lose,
because we've got some cool consolation prizing for you and
Jackie Hookers.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Would one? You're so kind?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
First time caller there, John Bowyen, may I give.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
A shout out as well? Yes you may.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I'm going to give a shout out to my brunette bride.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Happy Valentine's Day, my dear, all.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Right, Charles to pass that move along to her, but
explain it. I double.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Ed knows bow leg and has never corrected themselves.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
You know, see maybe a brief see some more research
on being along here.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
All right, this is the award winning John Boy and
(07:25):
Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (07:38):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Childerns.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Hey there, John Boy, old feller. I hired you and
them other fellas making a fuss over them country boys
or whoping them football players met s night didn't kind
of look like a mitten. I'm like me some football
time to time with that Weekly boy Frank and his friends.
(08:07):
I stove up pretty quick. I was old and give out.
I never wasn't no account at it. That Weekly Boy'd
always yell at me, what you dropped the ball firm?
What you dropped the ball firm? So I just I
just think with what the Good Lord meant me to do,
Small Indiane repair and comedy. I found me a book
(08:32):
on sports humor over to the mall. It's all about
college sports teams and whatnot. They ain't a whole past
love him. I'm only telling the one without curse words
in it. I had not a talk like yet, but
at least I was able to work up an act
for me and Malinda. And when mister Murray over the
(08:52):
red Hot Talent puts us on something called the college circuit,
we can do something for you if and you want
us to. You ready, Melinda, I.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Need to sit down.
Speaker 10 (09:06):
My faith heart. I can't do colmedy if my feet hurt.
I don't know about you, but if my faith heart
I just don't feel funny.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
All right? Then you have a seat over here next
to a little feller. Some folks call him Billy.
Speaker 10 (09:25):
I called, hey, Billy. I have to sit here because
my fate heard. I hope it's okay. It is not okay.
Speaker 6 (09:37):
You let me know.
Speaker 9 (09:39):
I can move if I have to. I don't want to, though.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
We don't worry about this chair is comfortable?
Speaker 9 (09:48):
Is your chair coats?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Bro Her feet hurt? Seem to be all right? Let's
do our comedy skit. We can get you back to
the dollar store for Mizoochie gets all upset. You want
to introduce us, Oh yeah, yeah, I got your hair.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's a gentleman of comedy silence of Carl and a
big girl from the dollar store.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
She don't like to be called a big girls.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Carl and Melinda?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
All right, then is this thing addie folks? Hey Melinda?
What do you reckon? The average Mississippi State player gets
on his ssats drool?
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Hey Carl, I saw you watching those cheerleaders on the TV. Yes,
I'm what do you get when you put thirty two
Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Full set of teeth? Speaking of chair and we were
Why do them Auburn cheerleaders all wear bibs.
Speaker 10 (11:06):
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I thought maybe that would help.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
My fate.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Still and Melinda, how do you get a Georgia graduate
off your porch?
Speaker 10 (11:26):
You're paying for the pizza, Hey Carl. Why is the
Vanderbilt football team like apallsum?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Well, on account of they played dead at home and
get killed on the road? Get it? Melinda? What a
Florida State students call their freshman.
Speaker 10 (11:53):
Year the three longest years of their lives?
Speaker 9 (11:59):
Hey Carl?
Speaker 10 (12:01):
How how many freshman Hokies does it take to change
a light bulb?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
None? There's a sophomore course in Virginia, Texas. Hold say
she does that? Do that?
Speaker 10 (12:18):
Turkey gobble gobble gobble. I don't feel like school spirit
right now.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You just hold on. We got a couple more jokes here.
Where do you Where do you reckon that? O? J.
Feller was headed in that?
Speaker 8 (12:33):
There?
Speaker 9 (12:34):
Bronco Lexington, Kentucky.
Speaker 10 (12:37):
He knew the police would never look for a Heisman
Trophy winner there. Hey Carl, why did Tennessee choose orange
for their team color?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, they can wear it to the game on Saturday,
hunting on Sunday and picking up trash and long eye
forty the rest way.
Speaker 9 (13:09):
Well, I don't have any other jokes written.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Down that don't account. We're done, good night, and don't
forget to tip over your waiters. Thank John Boy, so
long a little Feller, John.
Speaker 11 (13:28):
Boy and Billy never not in a million years, absolutely not,
no way Jose, no chance lance and yet negatory nauh.
And of course my own personal favorite of all time,
man falling off of a cliff no.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Good morning radio done right?
Speaker 12 (14:02):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 13 (14:14):
It was the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
All hall us on.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Who's a will whom?
Speaker 6 (14:28):
You can't understand any of the words.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
No, we'll go with change.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Now who knows a little brother fightings lit mother, no burdon,
that's all I know that, and that ain't right. Sorry,
I couldn't help it. It's one of them things. Couldn't
help it. Hey, Rayburn can't help me. The listener put
together another song. Go to him right off the radio.
(14:57):
We'll find out why in minutes.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
And here we are. Okay, you got you scrip up
your head down to practice. Okay, okay and action. Hello friends,
you're old pal.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Burt Bird here with another moller mangling edition of John
Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The Toothache. As our
story opens, Mams Deetwater was paying a visit to the dentist. Okay,
come on in, missus Teetwater.
Speaker 10 (15:26):
It's deep water.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I don't care. I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
What do you mean?
Speaker 6 (15:31):
You're a dentist, right.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So they tell me.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
But looking at your chart, it says you hear about
your toot hatch, you know, being a dentist, I am
not a rectal technician or in medical terminology, a butt
doctor may.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
See that start it says toothache, you idiot?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
So do you still want to do this?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (15:50):
My tooth is killing me.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Okay, so when did this start?
Speaker 6 (15:54):
Yesterday?
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Hasn't even been twenty four hours.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
You're a real candy ass, aren't you.
Speaker 6 (15:58):
Can we please focus on the too.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh yes, ma'am. Your husband must be miserable.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
What was that? I mean?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Let's have a look.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Oh wow, wow, wow?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
That is gross?
Speaker 14 (16:13):
Is it that bad?
Speaker 4 (16:14):
I just found a big piece of roast beef lodged
back here? Here's a tip, chew your food. Is that
all it is? Nope, it's obsessed and infected. It's got
to come out. And since you're such a wussie, I
assume you'll still want the gas.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
How much is all of this gonna cost me?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Really?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
How about free? Why all you have to do is
scream your head off? Why my waiting room is full
and I have a tea time in thirty minutes? And
how we hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
(16:51):
If you wake up and your top two buttons are undone,
it wasn't me unless you're into it, and then yes,
it was.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the laughing gas
delivery guys.
Speaker 14 (17:00):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good
morning you got the big show on the radio. More
chances you to win coming up after your news. Wedthers Barts.
Speaker 15 (17:10):
I stand on the hill, but not for a thrill,
for the breath of a fresh kill. And never mind
the man who contemplates doing away with license plates. He
stands alone anyhow, Bacon the cookies of discontent, by the
heat of the laundromat, fan leaving this soul. And then
(17:35):
like in portraygo dot dot dot, you know, kind of
host set up leaving his soul hating the waters of
the Medulla. Oblong Goha with John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. You like that one, John Boy, good morning.
(18:34):
That's a big show on the radio. We're having fun.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Blass them oh tunes from Ravert this one member when
Raverord was fascinated by the song Louie Louie, and he
tried to look up the words and then well here's
another one.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
He did this all by himself. We were so proud. Alright,
Rayford sings, yeah boy, yeah, man.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Know how y'all all right, you said, Louis don't make
a record for you, you know, uh huh already have
a little call.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I don't know where I could do it be snifflings some.
Speaker 14 (19:07):
Time sih yeah the Louis uh yeah, Louie sit over
the door, Okay, yeah we man.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
On paid for the band, uh huh. And the band
be about yeah they ready to kill ready doing one
of his many voice.
Speaker 14 (19:20):
Yeah here the band okay, fan man the bad money,
but the band Louis, Yeah, my number fire all right.
Speaker 16 (19:28):
And then with his black eyed bed creasy Luie Bibie
Louis Lewis college didn't mosie can of beer Louis in
here be Loui and Louis pickle thereclude with Louis Canna
bell lou Louis baby flipping with Louis mustard green blue
(19:49):
and Louis corn turn a breeze Littuis Louis again though
beef with little barbecue lou and Littie.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Dem and something up here Louis Lewis wing in.
Speaker 16 (20:02):
Here Loui and Louis teats you by Louis Louis, Let's
get high.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Look head to check.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
No, no, no, they run like, hey, come on, we
were like any you poking bean you we do.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
With chicken, We.
Speaker 16 (20:20):
Lou lou increasing u.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
If we lose by you do we love up well
that's just a.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Raver digging down out.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Can a bill? Rather? Have you ever heard have you
ever heard the song.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Watch Your Father?
Speaker 13 (21:03):
It was a is in the FCC Museum of the Unexplained, right,
whoa Whoall we gotta go?
Speaker 9 (21:23):
And here's the official FCC report on this song. It
calls it unpalatable at any speed.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio. Yeah
we're going.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
We got some Big Show tunes all morning long. We
got We're gonna play worthy words standing by hold on.
That'll get you psyched up to win one hundred and
twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning product of course
made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America moving a
bull snot make sure they look good doing it. You
can find bull Snot at truck stops all across America.
(21:57):
Download that bull Snot app, click on the when you
hit the Big Show dot com. Hang on you when
you some in minutes playing worthy word.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Remember when I joined the Show, I begged you pretty
please not to make me play one of your stupid games.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Well you stab me in the back.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
And now it's been a hundred years and it's what's
driven me completely out of my mind.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And we're going to play worthy word ha ha.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
We're going to play worthy word ho ho ha.
Speaker 12 (22:35):
And it's Thunderdome, thirty whole seconds of living hell, and
the clock gets smiller every single day, and amitterand am
I going to play worthy word?
Speaker 7 (22:43):
Ha?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
You think that it's a joke to make me play
although I said the game would fry my brain and
likely sprain my gizz, Right, it's all a joke to
hear me choke, I choke, I choke, I choke. I
nearly crop and now you know I'm frigging insane. We're
going to playworthy word ha ha. We're going to play
(23:08):
worthy word ho with bloomber Joe who never made it
past second grade.
Speaker 12 (23:14):
And it's hearing fails when I get in clue after
clue after clu after clue, and we're going to playwordy word.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
This stupid game has wrecked my nerves.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
But do you care one single bit about my fragile
metal state of mind?
Speaker 7 (23:30):
Ha?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Well, just you wait. I'll win one yet, and when
I do, I'll get right in your face and say.
Speaker 13 (23:39):
Why.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
We're going to play worthy word ha ha.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
We're going to play worthy word hofo, my favorite game.
Can I think I'm needing the up my meds?
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Can I sure hope Kater.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Don't screw this up like it's or I'll punch your fool.
Speaker 12 (23:53):
They were going to play reordy Word, a parade of fools,
half a minute of local It's and golden clues are
wcted on people who still.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Can't count the two.
Speaker 12 (24:04):
They were going to play where you Word with the
big black hole of pix some losers and stupid goose
who can't understand a simple.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Clue like people get them.
Speaker 12 (24:14):
We're going to play where you words.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Get so true.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
It's based on all his experiences. It is time right now.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
One ain't hundred big shows you told free Line. We'll
get a couple of contestants and play next.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Tuesday morning.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
And there's a big show on the radio making that
John Boy bill of Valentine's album. You want to have
Mom and Webster with some Valentine's Day tips. Search for
keyword tips when you hear the big box at the
big show dot com.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Here right now, let's play.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I went Everybody's head.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
I buy the bed look like the birdie word of
the wordy word.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Let's meet our contestants. We got John from Dogphun Alabama.
Good morning, John, Hey, welcome in here.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
It'll be John Moore.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
John, and we got Joey out of Irwin, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Good morning, Joey.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Good morning John boy. Nobody welcome in here, Alabama versus Tennessee.
Taylor and Joey on the noisy side, Me and John.
All right, well, Joey, you and Tator relax here for
the moment.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Me and John.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
We'll see what we can do with our first thirty seconds.
All right, John, are you ready? I'm ready?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
All right, start the clock.
Speaker 7 (26:10):
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
You drink too much. You gotta go to double a.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
What are you.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You're what?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, uh huh blank blank again if you first don't
succeed blank again, Yes, uh huh. Teach your dog to
go get it and bring it back. Teach him to no,
get them to what's the the whole thing? You teach
him to bring something back. Yes, if you go around
in circles you will get.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
All right, John, we put a four on the board.
Not too shabby. Let's see what Tata and Joey can
do with their first thirty Hey, joe are you ready, buddy?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I'm ready. Joey, find him a quiet place, all right,
all right, starting the clock now.
Speaker 6 (26:57):
All right, your voice box is in this part of
your body. True, yep. If you sneeze, you blow your
nose into this kleenex? A kleenex?
Speaker 7 (27:09):
What uh you?
Speaker 6 (27:11):
You have to set these to be successful? A small
term no, no, A long term yes you uh. If
you're not at school, they mark you.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
What huh?
Speaker 6 (27:23):
They right on the board. Back in the old days
with this it was white chalk. It's right chalk.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
You're right all right with that chalk. You took the
lead by one. It is five to four, Joey ober John,
and here were going to round two. All right, John,
you ready bout it?
Speaker 8 (27:40):
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Then start the clock. Now, don't run do this? Yes
rhymes with it? Do you hear me words coming out
of my mouth?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I blow?
Speaker 16 (27:54):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Uh huh rhymes with it. I'm following this deer real quietly?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
What yes?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Rhymes with it? Rhymes with it? A chicken blank that flies?
A chicken?
Speaker 8 (28:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Not rhyming H and R what on taxes?
Speaker 4 (28:13):
H and r?
Speaker 8 (28:13):
Uh?
Speaker 10 (28:14):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Afore John, so we put a five on that four
a nine score.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
So Joey and Taylor four, will die, five will win it?
Taylor is mocking ready ready go blank?
Speaker 6 (28:34):
Blank? Who's there?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Knock rhymes with it?
Speaker 6 (28:37):
A blank of seagulls rhymes with it. You put this
on before you put your shoe on. You set your alarm? Blank?
Do you put your boat at the blank? You pull
up to the and there is.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
What you had to do there.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Well, John, down in Dothan, we came up a little short,
but you can try again anytime. Buddy, Appreciate you playing
with us.
Speaker 7 (29:07):
This.
Speaker 17 (29:08):
Appreciate have a great day, all right, John?
Speaker 1 (29:10):
You may and that boy, oh, I give him noother
shot down the road, Jackie, joe Hey, look at you
and Irwin getting one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull snot cleaning products.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Congratulations.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
You go ahead?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I want to say hey to my lovely wife Christy
and go big orange.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I hate that Joey.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Good luck, but hold on, good morning, big shows on
the radio. It is bit request time, see what we
got here? Thomas Hill out of Sarasota, Florida. Thomas says,
I'd like to request a grumpy old man, hate fake boobs.
Look at me, you understand the word. No, Thomas, we
(29:54):
got your requests, buddy, just for you coming up next.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
It's a big show on the radio, this big request
time back this time Monday through Friday. Here's something to
John won't bill at facebook page I looked at in
a wild tell you anything happened? And how's my girl
her looking on the Facebook?
Speaker 6 (30:39):
Yeah, people are very kind.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
They can't spenders. Yeah, dipers not making fun over.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
Her or the sharp No. No, everybody remembers when you
first got her. That's the thing that I can't believe
that she's fifteen.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
This is seventeen seven whatever. No dogs supposed to lessant lot.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
It's true. All right, you're right. I did correct it.
I did say fifteen, and then I corrected it.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Like you would ever suspenders.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Here.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
So uh, Thomas Hill out of Sarasota, Florida, you get
your bit requests.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
Ah F libbity flu. I'm old and I hate fake booze.
In my day, we didn't need no silly cone stuffed blouse,
button busting sweater stretching inflatable gravity to fight an injection
molded billy goat aunty man magnets. We were happy with
(31:44):
the way God Almighty made us. If you had a
huge set of lugwats, good for you, and if you
were a woman.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Even better.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
In my day, the only fake hooters we needed were
the wooden owls on bond to keep the crows away,
and the only man made jugs we wanted to get
our hands on was holding.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
On moonshine fake boots.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
When I was a boy, we liked them all natural,
baby swing, low sweet chariots. But not everyone was stuffed
like Lulu Roman from Hethaw. Some girls got passed over
by the fun bak fairy like old plywood Paddy Myrtle Bank.
(32:31):
She was flatter than a plate of cold peat. From
the neck up. She was Hollywood starlet pretty. From the
neck down, she was like the before picture on the
Charles Atlas hands. She made don k NOTATX look like
Jane Mansfield. Her cup size was just like her grede
point average sea mines. And the only time a boy
(32:55):
would climb on I was in the winter when they
used her as a toboggan and the girls, the girls,
all the girls at school, made horrible sport of her.
But she had the last laugh. The day of the
big fire and the school's gym. The only way out
was through a tiny little window. Plywood Penny shot through
(33:15):
the opening like a monkey spitting a watermelon. Scene, but
all them top heavy homeroom honeys didn't stand a chance.
And the fire bird for three days because of all
that boop fatness. The coroner ruined death by d cup
and nobody ate the barbecue chicken breast in a cafeteria
for three months because.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Someone found a nipple on it. Don't ruin your appetite.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
We're having Bobby Cutie for lunch. All hailed this age
of superficiality, and we like it.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Fake booms bah.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
They're all the same. Some are big, some are bigger,
some are downright unwieldy. But they're all the same, and
they got you don't give to them, dan nam it.
It's like let it onto a traffic cone. I can't
work with that. I got the arthritis, and when I
do the stop short, I want to grab something grabable,
(34:15):
not get a fistful of a bulletproof vest. Real boobs
are all different, like snowflakes, dirty sexy snowflakes, And if
you want to talk about different, I'll tell you about
Old frieda flap jack bucklewinner. What a sight downright huge,
And by that I mean they were huge and hung
(34:36):
down into the right and the older she got, the
more down they got, like a pair of dimply old
wind socks on a calm day. And then she turned eighteen, whoa,
and it was downhill.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
The whole way.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
They bought her from going to square.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
Dancers because when someone would spin your partner, her love
lapping breastacles would pop out, and.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
She cleared the room like a three stoochy short. Did
she care? Hell no, She could have had him surgically
altery did. But she liked him.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
She loved them, and so did any red blooded male
jimbaledie do toy do look at me. I'm an in
bred moron, not toothless by a pair of backwards and
a candas called the preacher.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I'm in love with stretched boobstrang.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
And we liked it.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
We loved it.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Feak good morning, Big Show's on the radio. Valentine's Day
(36:03):
this Friday. It's still got time to make you sweetier.
John Boyd Billy album all and you put a prize
on that.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
We can't.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Let'll give you fifteen tracks for your album's just nine
nine to nine. It's just nine and nine cents and
flocks the bed box at the Big Show. Dot com
wonders Marvin keyword tips.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Here we go. Yeah, Oh, what's up?
Speaker 17 (36:26):
How y'all doing?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
We don't get man?
Speaker 17 (36:28):
Y'all got something for you sweetie yet?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Now don't lie?
Speaker 17 (36:31):
Oh yeah, don't care of that the last week. See
that's what you're saying. And here's what you're thinking. Man,
I show him glad he said something. So you can
just mention February to a woman. First thing she thinks
of Valentine's Day. But man ain't got a clue. Acting man,
what extra special occasion happens every February to fourteen?
Speaker 15 (36:51):
You know what?
Speaker 17 (36:51):
He'll say? Uh daytoing five hundred men. Got a little
problem with the Valentine's Day gifts. Always put it off
till the last minute. In fact, I think they ought
not even put the good stuff out till about four
o'clock on Valentine afternoon, because that's about when we get
around to buying. And old women love flowers on Valentine's
Day because they're so pretty, and men love them too,
(37:14):
because they're so easy. See, flowers is a gift that
make you look thoughtful. But you do it on the
phone in under two minutes. Now a man be all
over that at See, these people will make out a card,
they'll sign your name to it. They even bring the
flowers to the house at the proper time.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
This is so easy.
Speaker 17 (37:31):
Men would want to give flowers to women even if
women didn't like flowers.
Speaker 8 (37:35):
You know.
Speaker 17 (37:37):
And if a man ever forgets to order flowers, he
got a built in backup system called the Floral department
at the Food Giant. You know it to be like
five thirty six o'clock Valentine's night. Man don't realize it
until it's like two blocks from the house.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Ain't no problem.
Speaker 17 (37:52):
Just wheeling the Food Giant hit the Florida Department.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
He good to go.
Speaker 17 (37:56):
Of course, now he may end up with like a
Guarfield balloon that says, oh they lord, they look who's faulty.
But you know, at least he got a fighting chance. Yeah, Man,
six pm Valentine's Night is the only reason Foogin has
got a Floord department in the first place. You can
look for yourself nine to nine percent of time that
whole corner of the grocery store is like a ghost town.
But go in there by six pm Valentine's night, there's
(38:18):
a line of men backed up all the way around
to the frozen food section. And chocolate is a good
gift too. Ever, Notice a man giving a woman a
box of chocolate. They always said the same thing, Lord,
I wish you hadn't bought this. Oh well, maybe I
just have one little piece. And the man always says,
oh baby, look at you. You ain't got nothing to
worry about. And see both of them lying, because you
(38:40):
know the man is thinking, whoa look at that butt,
I'm glad I got the small box, and a woman thinking,
as soon as that food go out to the store
or something. I'm a white mister whitman sampler here. That's right,
your little checkerbol bud his mind.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Baby.
Speaker 17 (38:54):
You know, the main reason men by chocolate is because
we all heard that story about how chocolate has the
same chemical in it that your brain makes when you
fall in love. Y'all heard that man, And see here's
what that says to a man. Hmm, Well I show
up with some chocolate, I'm gonna get me a little
freaky dka. See, no matter what you act like the
rest of the year, on Valentine's Day, every man thinks
(39:14):
he's just one box of bond bonds.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Away from the freak show.
Speaker 7 (39:17):
You know.
Speaker 17 (39:18):
That's why a woman ain't got to worry about buying
a Valentine present for a man.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
All she got to do is show up.
Speaker 17 (39:24):
We don't need no silk draws or little hearts printed
on them to get us in the mood. See, we
all ready in the mood. We men, we always in
the mood. Y'all heard that stuff about Mars and Venus. Well,
you know, women might be from Venus, but men are
definitely not from Mars. Men are from that little place
where John Boy Billy keep the race cars. It's called
(39:45):
horned time. Look into it. Oh and Tina, if you're listening, baby,
this is just some of that you know show bit
of stuff I tell you about it. You know I
ain't talking about us, that's right, baby. Yeah, I'll see
you about six steps.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Y'all think about it. I'm midy Webs. Bed box is.
Speaker 18 (40:00):
You're all your favorites from four decades of the Big
Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine,
buy them once, play them anywhere. You can shop the
Big Bogs online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone. The number is
eight hundred and four to seven one. Stuff Online services
by Enemy dot Com.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Have you missed any of the Big Show this morning?
You can hear it all the John Boremilly Lighton Risers
podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast, make
it easy. Subscribe to us with a free I Heart
Radio app.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
Love you Mean It
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up, we
played Beating the Blonde Winterergin's a hardcovering copy of James
Gregory's autobiography A Bushel of Beans on a Peck of
thematas the Life and Times of the Funniest Man in America.
It includes a bookmark autographed by James, available now at
funniestman dot com. Oh, wherever books are sold.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You hang on you win. You won in minutes first
hit it. Come and listen to my story about a guy.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
You know.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
He's the big dumb boober on your radio. It sounds
like a liear, some kind of scam.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
But he became the.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Prince of a town called Graham in.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
North Carolina, bored and raised goofing office. How we spent
most of his days hanging out with Eddie, Mario and Pecker,
pumping gas and running movie projectors. He knew that he
needed to choose a career, not scratching his butt and
hunt deer. He said, radio is where I ought to be.
So he loaded up the truck and moved to Tennessee.
Times were good. Life was a joy living on blogne
(01:12):
with Tennessee fat Boy. Everyone told him he'd never make it.
But he just smiled and said, Yo, I'll just fake
it off to Charlotte, Yo, the big City on Bcy,
saying stuff so Winny paired with brainiact Billy James, Hmmm,
smells like fortune and fame, funny voices, fart jokes and
all that killing competition like Mortal Kombat. A ball cap
(01:33):
on top of a big Cannis Bam, just shining his
crown as the fresh Prince of Graham. Before long he's
in syndication, spreading his stupid across the nation. He said,
watch out, I'm just getting started. Then he did a
(01:55):
push up and started brand new truck parked in the
garage Booger Branch, sendon Entourage. But he's still a man
of the common dirt God holds in his shorts and
stains on his shirt. Now he lives in a mansion
(02:17):
in Swinkie Town, not doing too bad for a hillbilly clown.
But you can't put city in a country ham, so
he'll always be the fresh Prince up ground.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
All right, let's play Beat the Blonde, y'all for the
big Old James Gregory Prize Pack one eight hundred Big show.
You told free Line We're going to contest him. Play
next Good Tuesday Morning, and it's a big show on
(03:15):
the radio. Our feature track from the Big Show bet
Box working on you Valentine's Day album. We got Marvin
Webster with Valentine's Day Tips. There's your keyword tips when
he hit the bed box at the Big Show dot
com there right now, it's time to beat the block.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Does meet our contestant.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
We got Charles out of Easley, South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Good morning, Charles, Good morning, Johnny.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Hell are you this morning?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Mantis? Awesomebody? Hope you doing well? Is fine? I mean
you know you as well?
Speaker 6 (03:52):
He understood, Joe.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'm sure you know what we're gonna do here. We're
gonna ask Taty some questions. You agree or disagree, two
bells before two buzzers, and you win.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Let's do it. Here we go, Marcia. According to the
book Fascinating.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Womanhood, there are two things a woman should rightfully expect
in marriage.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
One is fidelity. What is the other?
Speaker 7 (04:21):
In fidelity, you can expect honesty, honesty.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Fidelity and honesty. Charles agree or disagree with those two things?
Will they kind of go hand in hand?
Speaker 8 (04:40):
Let's agree with Marc.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
You are agreeing you financial financial supports.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
That wasn't a book.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Money wasn't mentioned, all right, did edition?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Okay? All right?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Well Marsy, if your kid is healthy but bow legged,
huh should you do anything to help?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Find him a knock need girl.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
That would help offset?
Speaker 7 (05:14):
No, leave them alone, don't do No, you should, Yes
you should do anything.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
Yes you should help. He's healthy, but yes, something to help.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yes you should help, you should Yeah? All right, Charles
agreed you.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
Had any further Indian?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Okay, agree, let's try again.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
I'm gonna agree with Marsen.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
You're gonna agree that they should try to help your
kid's bow legs. Okay, what would you do?
Speaker 6 (05:53):
Some braces on it?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Bow legs create themselves, by the way, aim for knock need.
If you're looking for that knock kneed girl, they will
find them south as well.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
What a Charles?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
That's all right, buddy, you picked a good one to lose,
because we've got some cool consolation prizing for you and
Jackie Hookers.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Would one? You're so kind?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
First time caller there, John Bowyen, may I give.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
A shout out as well? Yes you may.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I'm going to give a shout out to my brunette bride.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Happy Valentine's Day, my dear, all.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Right, Charles to pass that move along to her, but
explain it. I double.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Ed knows bow leg and has never corrected themselves.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
You know, see maybe a brief see some more research
on being along here.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
All right, this is the award winning John Boy and
(07:25):
Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (07:38):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Childerns.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Hey there, John Boy, old feller. I hired you and
them other fellas making a fuss over them country boys
or whoping them football players met s night didn't kind
of look like a mitten. I'm like me some football
time to time with that Weekly boy Frank and his friends.
(08:07):
I stove up pretty quick. I was old and give out.
I never wasn't no account at it. That Weekly Boy'd
always yell at me, what you dropped the ball firm?
What you dropped the ball firm? So I just I
just think with what the Good Lord meant me to do,
Small Indiane repair and comedy. I found me a book
(08:32):
on sports humor over to the mall. It's all about
college sports teams and whatnot. They ain't a whole past
love him. I'm only telling the one without curse words
in it. I had not a talk like yet, but
at least I was able to work up an act
for me and Malinda. And when mister Murray over the
(08:52):
red Hot Talent puts us on something called the college circuit,
we can do something for you if and you want
us to. You ready, Melinda, I.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Need to sit down.
Speaker 10 (09:06):
My faith heart. I can't do colmedy if my feet hurt.
I don't know about you, but if my faith heart
I just don't feel funny.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
All right? Then you have a seat over here next
to a little feller. Some folks call him Billy.
Speaker 10 (09:25):
I called, hey, Billy. I have to sit here because
my fate heard. I hope it's okay. It is not okay.
Speaker 6 (09:37):
You let me know.
Speaker 9 (09:39):
I can move if I have to. I don't want to, though.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
We don't worry about this chair is comfortable?
Speaker 9 (09:48):
Is your chair coats?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Bro Her feet hurt? Seem to be all right? Let's
do our comedy skit. We can get you back to
the dollar store for Mizoochie gets all upset. You want
to introduce us, Oh yeah, yeah, I got your hair.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's a gentleman of comedy silence of Carl and a
big girl from the dollar store.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
She don't like to be called a big girls.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Carl and Melinda?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
All right, then is this thing addie folks? Hey Melinda?
What do you reckon? The average Mississippi State player gets
on his ssats drool?
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Hey Carl, I saw you watching those cheerleaders on the TV. Yes,
I'm what do you get when you put thirty two
Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Full set of teeth? Speaking of chair and we were
Why do them Auburn cheerleaders all wear bibs.
Speaker 10 (11:06):
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I thought maybe that would help.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
My fate.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Still and Melinda, how do you get a Georgia graduate
off your porch?
Speaker 10 (11:26):
You're paying for the pizza, Hey Carl. Why is the
Vanderbilt football team like apallsum?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Well, on account of they played dead at home and
get killed on the road? Get it? Melinda? What a
Florida State students call their freshman.
Speaker 10 (11:53):
Year the three longest years of their lives?
Speaker 9 (11:59):
Hey Carl?
Speaker 10 (12:01):
How how many freshman Hokies does it take to change
a light bulb?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
None? There's a sophomore course in Virginia, Texas. Hold say
she does that? Do that?
Speaker 10 (12:18):
Turkey gobble gobble gobble. I don't feel like school spirit
right now.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You just hold on. We got a couple more jokes here.
Where do you Where do you reckon that? O? J.
Feller was headed in that?
Speaker 8 (12:33):
There?
Speaker 9 (12:34):
Bronco Lexington, Kentucky.
Speaker 10 (12:37):
He knew the police would never look for a Heisman
Trophy winner there. Hey Carl, why did Tennessee choose orange
for their team color?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, they can wear it to the game on Saturday,
hunting on Sunday and picking up trash and long eye
forty the rest way.
Speaker 9 (13:09):
Well, I don't have any other jokes written.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Down that don't account. We're done, good night, and don't
forget to tip over your waiters. Thank John Boy, so
long a little Feller, John.
Speaker 11 (13:28):
Boy and Billy never not in a million years, absolutely not,
no way Jose, no chance lance and yet negatory nauh.
And of course my own personal favorite of all time,
man falling off of a cliff no.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Good morning radio done right?
Speaker 12 (14:02):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 13 (14:14):
It was the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
All hall us on.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Who's a will whom?
Speaker 6 (14:28):
You can't understand any of the words.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
No, we'll go with change.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Now who knows a little brother fightings lit mother, no burdon,
that's all I know that, and that ain't right. Sorry,
I couldn't help it. It's one of them things. Couldn't
help it. Hey, Rayburn can't help me. The listener put
together another song. Go to him right off the radio.
(14:57):
We'll find out why in minutes.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
And here we are. Okay, you got you scrip up
your head down to practice. Okay, okay and action. Hello friends,
you're old pal.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Burt Bird here with another moller mangling edition of John
Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The Toothache. As our
story opens, Mams Deetwater was paying a visit to the dentist. Okay,
come on in, missus Teetwater.
Speaker 10 (15:26):
It's deep water.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I don't care. I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
What do you mean?
Speaker 6 (15:31):
You're a dentist, right.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So they tell me.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
But looking at your chart, it says you hear about
your toot hatch, you know, being a dentist, I am
not a rectal technician or in medical terminology, a butt
doctor may.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
See that start it says toothache, you idiot?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
So do you still want to do this?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (15:50):
My tooth is killing me.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Okay, so when did this start?
Speaker 6 (15:54):
Yesterday?
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Hasn't even been twenty four hours.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
You're a real candy ass, aren't you.
Speaker 6 (15:58):
Can we please focus on the too.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh yes, ma'am. Your husband must be miserable.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
What was that? I mean?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Let's have a look.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Oh wow, wow, wow?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
That is gross?
Speaker 14 (16:13):
Is it that bad?
Speaker 4 (16:14):
I just found a big piece of roast beef lodged
back here? Here's a tip, chew your food. Is that
all it is? Nope, it's obsessed and infected. It's got
to come out. And since you're such a wussie, I
assume you'll still want the gas.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
How much is all of this gonna cost me?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Really?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
How about free? Why all you have to do is
scream your head off? Why my waiting room is full
and I have a tea time in thirty minutes? And
how we hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
(16:51):
If you wake up and your top two buttons are undone,
it wasn't me unless you're into it, and then yes,
it was.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the laughing gas
delivery guys.
Speaker 14 (17:00):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good
morning you got the big show on the radio. More
chances you to win coming up after your news. Wedthers Barts.
Speaker 15 (17:10):
I stand on the hill, but not for a thrill,
for the breath of a fresh kill. And never mind
the man who contemplates doing away with license plates. He
stands alone anyhow, Bacon the cookies of discontent, by the
heat of the laundromat, fan leaving this soul. And then
(17:35):
like in portraygo dot dot dot, you know, kind of
host set up leaving his soul hating the waters of
the Medulla. Oblong Goha with John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. You like that one, John Boy, good morning.
(18:34):
That's a big show on the radio. We're having fun.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Blass them oh tunes from Ravert this one member when
Raverord was fascinated by the song Louie Louie, and he
tried to look up the words and then well here's
another one.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
He did this all by himself. We were so proud. Alright,
Rayford sings, yeah boy, yeah, man.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Know how y'all all right, you said, Louis don't make
a record for you, you know, uh huh already have
a little call.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I don't know where I could do it be snifflings some.
Speaker 14 (19:07):
Time sih yeah the Louis uh yeah, Louie sit over
the door, Okay, yeah we man.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
On paid for the band, uh huh. And the band
be about yeah they ready to kill ready doing one
of his many voice.
Speaker 14 (19:20):
Yeah here the band okay, fan man the bad money,
but the band Louis, Yeah, my number fire all right.
Speaker 16 (19:28):
And then with his black eyed bed creasy Luie Bibie
Louis Lewis college didn't mosie can of beer Louis in
here be Loui and Louis pickle thereclude with Louis Canna
bell lou Louis baby flipping with Louis mustard green blue
(19:49):
and Louis corn turn a breeze Littuis Louis again though
beef with little barbecue lou and Littie.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Dem and something up here Louis Lewis wing in.
Speaker 16 (20:02):
Here Loui and Louis teats you by Louis Louis, Let's
get high.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Look head to check.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
No, no, no, they run like, hey, come on, we
were like any you poking bean you we do.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
With chicken, We.
Speaker 16 (20:20):
Lou lou increasing u.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
If we lose by you do we love up well
that's just a.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Raver digging down out.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Can a bill? Rather? Have you ever heard have you
ever heard the song.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Watch Your Father?
Speaker 13 (21:03):
It was a is in the FCC Museum of the Unexplained, right,
whoa Whoall we gotta go?
Speaker 9 (21:23):
And here's the official FCC report on this song. It
calls it unpalatable at any speed.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio. Yeah
we're going.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
We got some Big Show tunes all morning long. We
got We're gonna play worthy words standing by hold on.
That'll get you psyched up to win one hundred and
twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning product of course
made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America moving a
bull snot make sure they look good doing it. You
can find bull Snot at truck stops all across America.
(21:57):
Download that bull Snot app, click on the when you
hit the Big Show dot com. Hang on you when
you some in minutes playing worthy word.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Remember when I joined the Show, I begged you pretty
please not to make me play one of your stupid games.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Well you stab me in the back.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
And now it's been a hundred years and it's what's
driven me completely out of my mind.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And we're going to play worthy word ha ha.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
We're going to play worthy word ho ho ha.
Speaker 12 (22:35):
And it's Thunderdome, thirty whole seconds of living hell, and
the clock gets smiller every single day, and amitterand am
I going to play worthy word?
Speaker 7 (22:43):
Ha?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
You think that it's a joke to make me play
although I said the game would fry my brain and
likely sprain my gizz, Right, it's all a joke to
hear me choke, I choke, I choke, I choke. I
nearly crop and now you know I'm frigging insane. We're
going to playworthy word ha ha. We're going to play
(23:08):
worthy word ho with bloomber Joe who never made it
past second grade.
Speaker 12 (23:14):
And it's hearing fails when I get in clue after
clue after clu after clue, and we're going to playwordy word.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
This stupid game has wrecked my nerves.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
But do you care one single bit about my fragile
metal state of mind?
Speaker 7 (23:30):
Ha?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Well, just you wait. I'll win one yet, and when
I do, I'll get right in your face and say.
Speaker 13 (23:39):
Why.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
We're going to play worthy word ha ha.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
We're going to play worthy word hofo, my favorite game.
Can I think I'm needing the up my meds?
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Can I sure hope Kater.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Don't screw this up like it's or I'll punch your fool.
Speaker 12 (23:53):
They were going to play reordy Word, a parade of fools,
half a minute of local It's and golden clues are
wcted on people who still.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Can't count the two.
Speaker 12 (24:04):
They were going to play where you Word with the
big black hole of pix some losers and stupid goose
who can't understand a simple.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Clue like people get them.
Speaker 12 (24:14):
We're going to play where you words.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Get so true.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
It's based on all his experiences. It is time right now.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
One ain't hundred big shows you told free Line. We'll
get a couple of contestants and play next.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Tuesday morning.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
And there's a big show on the radio making that
John Boy bill of Valentine's album. You want to have
Mom and Webster with some Valentine's Day tips. Search for
keyword tips when you hear the big box at the
big show dot com.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Here right now, let's play.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I went Everybody's head.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
I buy the bed look like the birdie word of
the wordy word.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Let's meet our contestants. We got John from Dogphun Alabama.
Good morning, John, Hey, welcome in here.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
It'll be John Moore.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
John, and we got Joey out of Irwin, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Good morning, Joey.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Good morning John boy. Nobody welcome in here, Alabama versus Tennessee.
Taylor and Joey on the noisy side, Me and John.
All right, well, Joey, you and Tator relax here for
the moment.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Me and John.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
We'll see what we can do with our first thirty seconds.
All right, John, are you ready? I'm ready?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
All right, start the clock.
Speaker 7 (26:10):
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
You drink too much. You gotta go to double a.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
What are you.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You're what?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, uh huh blank blank again if you first don't
succeed blank again, Yes, uh huh. Teach your dog to
go get it and bring it back. Teach him to no,
get them to what's the the whole thing? You teach
him to bring something back. Yes, if you go around
in circles you will get.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
All right, John, we put a four on the board.
Not too shabby. Let's see what Tata and Joey can
do with their first thirty Hey, joe are you ready, buddy?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I'm ready. Joey, find him a quiet place, all right,
all right, starting the clock now.
Speaker 6 (26:57):
All right, your voice box is in this part of
your body. True, yep. If you sneeze, you blow your
nose into this kleenex? A kleenex?
Speaker 7 (27:09):
What uh you?
Speaker 6 (27:11):
You have to set these to be successful? A small
term no, no, A long term yes you uh. If
you're not at school, they mark you.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
What huh?
Speaker 6 (27:23):
They right on the board. Back in the old days
with this it was white chalk. It's right chalk.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
You're right all right with that chalk. You took the
lead by one. It is five to four, Joey ober John,
and here were going to round two. All right, John,
you ready bout it?
Speaker 8 (27:40):
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Then start the clock. Now, don't run do this? Yes
rhymes with it? Do you hear me words coming out
of my mouth?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I blow?
Speaker 16 (27:54):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Uh huh rhymes with it. I'm following this deer real quietly?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
What yes?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Rhymes with it? Rhymes with it? A chicken blank that flies?
A chicken?
Speaker 8 (28:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Not rhyming H and R what on taxes?
Speaker 4 (28:13):
H and r?
Speaker 8 (28:13):
Uh?
Speaker 10 (28:14):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Afore John, so we put a five on that four
a nine score.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
So Joey and Taylor four, will die, five will win it?
Taylor is mocking ready ready go blank?
Speaker 6 (28:34):
Blank? Who's there?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Knock rhymes with it?
Speaker 6 (28:37):
A blank of seagulls rhymes with it. You put this
on before you put your shoe on. You set your alarm? Blank?
Do you put your boat at the blank? You pull
up to the and there is.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
What you had to do there.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Well, John, down in Dothan, we came up a little short,
but you can try again anytime. Buddy, Appreciate you playing
with us.
Speaker 7 (29:07):
This.
Speaker 17 (29:08):
Appreciate have a great day, all right, John?
Speaker 1 (29:10):
You may and that boy, oh, I give him noother
shot down the road, Jackie, joe Hey, look at you
and Irwin getting one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull snot cleaning products.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Congratulations.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
You go ahead?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I want to say hey to my lovely wife Christy
and go big orange.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I hate that Joey.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Good luck, but hold on, good morning, big shows on
the radio. It is bit request time, see what we
got here? Thomas Hill out of Sarasota, Florida. Thomas says,
I'd like to request a grumpy old man, hate fake boobs.
Look at me, you understand the word. No, Thomas, we
(29:54):
got your requests, buddy, just for you coming up next.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
It's a big show on the radio, this big request
time back this time Monday through Friday. Here's something to
John won't bill at facebook page I looked at in
a wild tell you anything happened? And how's my girl
her looking on the Facebook?
Speaker 6 (30:39):
Yeah, people are very kind.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
They can't spenders. Yeah, dipers not making fun over.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
Her or the sharp No. No, everybody remembers when you
first got her. That's the thing that I can't believe
that she's fifteen.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
This is seventeen seven whatever. No dogs supposed to lessant lot.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
It's true. All right, you're right. I did correct it.
I did say fifteen, and then I corrected it.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Like you would ever suspenders.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Here.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
So uh, Thomas Hill out of Sarasota, Florida, you get
your bit requests.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
Ah F libbity flu. I'm old and I hate fake booze.
In my day, we didn't need no silly cone stuffed blouse,
button busting sweater stretching inflatable gravity to fight an injection
molded billy goat aunty man magnets. We were happy with
(31:44):
the way God Almighty made us. If you had a
huge set of lugwats, good for you, and if you
were a woman.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Even better.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
In my day, the only fake hooters we needed were
the wooden owls on bond to keep the crows away,
and the only man made jugs we wanted to get
our hands on was holding.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
On moonshine fake boots.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
When I was a boy, we liked them all natural,
baby swing, low sweet chariots. But not everyone was stuffed
like Lulu Roman from Hethaw. Some girls got passed over
by the fun bak fairy like old plywood Paddy Myrtle Bank.
(32:31):
She was flatter than a plate of cold peat. From
the neck up. She was Hollywood starlet pretty. From the
neck down, she was like the before picture on the
Charles Atlas hands. She made don k NOTATX look like
Jane Mansfield. Her cup size was just like her grede
point average sea mines. And the only time a boy
(32:55):
would climb on I was in the winter when they
used her as a toboggan and the girls, the girls,
all the girls at school, made horrible sport of her.
But she had the last laugh. The day of the
big fire and the school's gym. The only way out
was through a tiny little window. Plywood Penny shot through
(33:15):
the opening like a monkey spitting a watermelon. Scene, but
all them top heavy homeroom honeys didn't stand a chance.
And the fire bird for three days because of all
that boop fatness. The coroner ruined death by d cup
and nobody ate the barbecue chicken breast in a cafeteria
for three months because.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Someone found a nipple on it. Don't ruin your appetite.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
We're having Bobby Cutie for lunch. All hailed this age
of superficiality, and we like it.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Fake booms bah.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
They're all the same. Some are big, some are bigger,
some are downright unwieldy. But they're all the same, and
they got you don't give to them, dan nam it.
It's like let it onto a traffic cone. I can't
work with that. I got the arthritis, and when I
do the stop short, I want to grab something grabable,
(34:15):
not get a fistful of a bulletproof vest. Real boobs
are all different, like snowflakes, dirty sexy snowflakes, And if
you want to talk about different, I'll tell you about
Old frieda flap jack bucklewinner. What a sight downright huge,
And by that I mean they were huge and hung
(34:36):
down into the right and the older she got, the
more down they got, like a pair of dimply old
wind socks on a calm day. And then she turned eighteen, whoa,
and it was downhill.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
The whole way.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
They bought her from going to square.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
Dancers because when someone would spin your partner, her love
lapping breastacles would pop out, and.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
She cleared the room like a three stoochy short. Did
she care? Hell no, She could have had him surgically
altery did. But she liked him.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
She loved them, and so did any red blooded male
jimbaledie do toy do look at me. I'm an in
bred moron, not toothless by a pair of backwards and
a candas called the preacher.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I'm in love with stretched boobstrang.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
And we liked it.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
We loved it.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Feak good morning, Big Show's on the radio. Valentine's Day
(36:03):
this Friday. It's still got time to make you sweetier.
John Boyd Billy album all and you put a prize
on that.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
We can't.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Let'll give you fifteen tracks for your album's just nine
nine to nine. It's just nine and nine cents and
flocks the bed box at the Big Show. Dot com
wonders Marvin keyword tips.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Here we go. Yeah, Oh, what's up?
Speaker 17 (36:26):
How y'all doing?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
We don't get man?
Speaker 17 (36:28):
Y'all got something for you sweetie yet?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Now don't lie?
Speaker 17 (36:31):
Oh yeah, don't care of that the last week. See
that's what you're saying. And here's what you're thinking. Man,
I show him glad he said something. So you can
just mention February to a woman. First thing she thinks
of Valentine's Day. But man ain't got a clue. Acting man,
what extra special occasion happens every February to fourteen?
Speaker 15 (36:51):
You know what?
Speaker 17 (36:51):
He'll say? Uh daytoing five hundred men. Got a little
problem with the Valentine's Day gifts. Always put it off
till the last minute. In fact, I think they ought
not even put the good stuff out till about four
o'clock on Valentine afternoon, because that's about when we get
around to buying. And old women love flowers on Valentine's
Day because they're so pretty, and men love them too,
(37:14):
because they're so easy. See, flowers is a gift that
make you look thoughtful. But you do it on the
phone in under two minutes. Now a man be all
over that at See, these people will make out a card,
they'll sign your name to it. They even bring the
flowers to the house at the proper time.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
This is so easy.
Speaker 17 (37:31):
Men would want to give flowers to women even if
women didn't like flowers.
Speaker 8 (37:35):
You know.
Speaker 17 (37:37):
And if a man ever forgets to order flowers, he
got a built in backup system called the Floral department
at the Food Giant. You know it to be like
five thirty six o'clock Valentine's night. Man don't realize it
until it's like two blocks from the house.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Ain't no problem.
Speaker 17 (37:52):
Just wheeling the Food Giant hit the Florida Department.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
He good to go.
Speaker 17 (37:56):
Of course, now he may end up with like a
Guarfield balloon that says, oh they lord, they look who's faulty.
But you know, at least he got a fighting chance. Yeah, Man,
six pm Valentine's Night is the only reason Foogin has
got a Floord department in the first place. You can
look for yourself nine to nine percent of time that
whole corner of the grocery store is like a ghost town.
But go in there by six pm Valentine's night, there's
(38:18):
a line of men backed up all the way around
to the frozen food section. And chocolate is a good
gift too. Ever, Notice a man giving a woman a
box of chocolate. They always said the same thing, Lord,
I wish you hadn't bought this. Oh well, maybe I
just have one little piece. And the man always says,
oh baby, look at you. You ain't got nothing to
worry about. And see both of them lying, because you
(38:40):
know the man is thinking, whoa look at that butt,
I'm glad I got the small box, and a woman thinking,
as soon as that food go out to the store
or something. I'm a white mister whitman sampler here. That's right,
your little checkerbol bud his mind.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Baby.
Speaker 17 (38:54):
You know, the main reason men by chocolate is because
we all heard that story about how chocolate has the
same chemical in it that your brain makes when you
fall in love. Y'all heard that man, And see here's
what that says to a man. Hmm, Well I show
up with some chocolate, I'm gonna get me a little
freaky dka. See, no matter what you act like the
rest of the year, on Valentine's Day, every man thinks
(39:14):
he's just one box of bond bonds.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Away from the freak show.
Speaker 7 (39:17):
You know.
Speaker 17 (39:18):
That's why a woman ain't got to worry about buying
a Valentine present for a man.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
All she got to do is show up.
Speaker 17 (39:24):
We don't need no silk draws or little hearts printed
on them to get us in the mood. See, we
all ready in the mood. We men, we always in
the mood. Y'all heard that stuff about Mars and Venus. Well,
you know, women might be from Venus, but men are
definitely not from Mars. Men are from that little place
where John Boy Billy keep the race cars. It's called
(39:45):
horned time. Look into it. Oh and Tina, if you're listening, baby,
this is just some of that you know show bit
of stuff I tell you about it. You know I
ain't talking about us, that's right, baby. Yeah, I'll see
you about six steps.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Y'all think about it. I'm midy Webs. Bed box is.
Speaker 18 (40:00):
You're all your favorites from four decades of the Big
Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine,
buy them once, play them anywhere. You can shop the
Big Bogs online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone. The number is
eight hundred and four to seven one. Stuff Online services
by Enemy dot Com.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Have you missed any of the Big Show this morning?
You can hear it all the John Boremilly Lighton Risers
podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast, make
it easy. Subscribe to us with a free I Heart
Radio app.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
Love you Mean It
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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