April 16, 2025 • 38 mins
Wednesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, our token Yankee, Pillars goes off on - of all things - Yankees.. - We’ll revisit the letters from of of our “captive” audience members who is planning a party for NASCAR legend, Richard Petty.. - We’ll get into the tense battle of the state license plates.. - We have some of the worst rejected themes for High School proms.. - Astronerd officially starts creeping John Boy out.. - Mr. Rhubarb has a classic Urban Legend.. - John Boy gives himself a pep talk before losing another round of the Stupie Quiz.. - and we’ll wrap up with some letters from listeners…
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
More chance for you to win coming up after your
news weathers borts.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
This is Donald Trump and you're listening to the big
show on the radio, John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
These guys are tremendous right now.
Speaker 5 (00:17):
The number one John Boy and Billy I've ever heard.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And I know a lot of John Boy and Billy,
trust me, a tremendous amount of John Boy and Billy's.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
And there's some smaller shows. But this is the big show.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
It's the big show on your radio.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I think that's how John Boy says, it's a big
show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio, bright
and early, just like I promised yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Aren't we wonderful?
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Not according to the email.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I just answering, Oh, who's mad at who?
Speaker 4 (01:24):
He's still about that Yankee thing? I did it?
Speaker 6 (01:26):
You know, you people, it's a comedy show, your morons,
not like an editorial.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
It's not like I wrote it in the Observer yet, idiot.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
What Yankee thing?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
You know? When I did that?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Oh Yankee superior to Southerners.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
The same thing I say all the time.
Speaker 7 (01:41):
You know that thing he believes, but he always tries
to play off like he's kidding.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well y'all don't worry about that. Don't
waste your time getting mad at pillers. There's no no police.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
Do because there's nothing that gets my blood pumping in
the morning, like right in the back of email.
Speaker 8 (01:58):
To some morons, it's like a worm. When you cut
him in half, it doesn't kill him. It makes two
words the same idea.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Plus, I didn't have a good day at the dentist yesterday,
unlike some people in this town who just seemed to
love to go to the dentist.
Speaker 9 (02:11):
So what happened at the dias is a.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
Moron Southern oh see, and he might be a foreign descent.
I'm still doing a background check on. If I find
that out, I'm gonna just pound nuts on his head.
Speaker 10 (02:26):
Now.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
I got a crack tooth and it's a little infected now,
so I couldn't get it worked on it.
Speaker 9 (02:30):
Oh you gotta get some into my bodies there a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
So I'm just hotter than a match this morning.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You know, I bet we open up lines. We can
get that thing out for you.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
I had the fellow down Hall offered to do it
for me. He said, I kneel on your chest, take
pen kniffe, get in there. He's a stout feller.
Speaker 9 (02:45):
I believe he a guy from engineering or the guy
from sales.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
From sales.
Speaker 9 (02:49):
Oh yeah, yah yah, he's not having.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
A good day.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Well, well, best of luck to you and yours.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Hey, where's our happy talk? First thing in the morning.
It's beautiful, it's springtime.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Oh it's beautiful, man, all the things are drum season.
Speaker 9 (03:10):
Oh the pillars the only one.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Another great idea. Yeah, his daughter is of prom age. Now,
so boyfriend prom date shows up pillars, gives him his
cologne to wear, hoping that will somehow freak his daughter out.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
He's not good. Oh, I can't complain.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
He's a thinker. You know, never know of that because
you know I don't have daughters.
Speaker 9 (03:38):
Got all boys.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, no, I wish you could walk them all of
my shoes.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
That I keep telling him the same thing.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, as I say, I feel like I got one
with Randy's daughter. I can kind of, you know, just
put my input in, you know, hell braised that somebody
would do.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
And then when he gets too sticky and just say okay,
yeah I.
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Didn't what I could you might as well consider your
daughter and just like my mother, they both love you
more than.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
I need. Some time to say your prayers. God, this
John boy and I might here, you know, right here?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yeah, could you give me a drink of water.
Speaker 9 (04:11):
I'll be right with you in a minute.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
You mind, don't eiter rupt.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I'm praying.
Speaker 9 (04:15):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oh y'all do the best you can. That's all you
can do.
Speaker 7 (04:20):
Huh right, yeah, because there's many John boys in the world, pillars.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Unfortunately, I think I might have a billy. I think so.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
I think he's a decent kid. I think he's a
normal kid, smart kid. But if he turns out to
be a jumble, I'm gonna whil on him. I didn't expect. Said, well,
I'm just gonna have him spend the night. I said, oh, really,
where's he sleeping. Well, he's sleep in the guest room.
I said, no, he's sleeping with me.
Speaker 8 (04:48):
Like plays trades at automobile my anger management where.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
You don't mind, I like to sleep in the news.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Where's your other teenager? Y'all pull yourselves together. We're gonna
play out bursts here in says a few minutes. We'll
give you these days In histories, where we'll get our categories.
Two weeks worth of winters working on a third day
up and you might as well be one.
Speaker 9 (05:12):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
A big show is on the radio for this Wednesday,
April the sixteenth. Hope you got your taxes in done.
I hope you go and get some money back from
the government. Yeah, here's your legs up for where we're
getting our categories.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Were oute birds. We're getting ready to play. I'll be
like reading all this now, it's not so interesting.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Help wrong inventor Wilbur Wright would have been one hundred
and thirty five. He was the older of the two
Right brothers. On December seventeenth, nineteen oh three, of ten
thirty five am Eastern time, the Right Brothers made the
first heavier than air flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
Speaker 9 (05:50):
I told you it was going to work out.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Stupid Horville earned the honor becoming the first man to
fly after beating Wilburn a coin toss. Wilbur died ty Ford,
Fever and Dayton, Ohio, May thirtieth, nineteen twelve, at age
forty five. You know the bros were from Ohio, Ohio
bicycle shop. Yeah, and that's why Hio was saying, hey man,
we used to be first in flight because that's where
they were from. Well, they went down to the you know,
(06:13):
out of banks in North Carolina where you get that
long flat Santa Kitty Hall and a good Win.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
So yeah, so you gotta go with we get.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
In on our license plate.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
There was a just and on the North Carolina license
place in case the folks listen, they don't know, it
says first in flight, not first.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
It said something else, and they had to go back
and oh, was.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
It first in freedom or something like that, because Mecklenburg County,
North Carolina was the first area in America to declare
their independence from England Mexlemburg Declaration of Independence.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
So there was some big guy huha about its flight. Yeah,
we meant to say flight.
Speaker 9 (06:48):
Well it was first in freedom, I think, well we
think we were.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, but it's well, we backed off our license plate
for somebody.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Ohio, did we give more air? You'll have freedom, We'll
take a fly. Yeah, we all just get along, all right,
nineteen forty three, go ahead, Uh Andy, this just looks
totally boring to me.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
It's not it's it's it's historical.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
They'll give you a Swiss.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Now, if you're gonna do that, I can't say.
Speaker 9 (07:12):
I mean, I got algia.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Just get my nose bread up and you give me
like a short story novel, like four sentences.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Okay, I thought, okay, okay, okay. I put him big
cut because he's old.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Nineteen forty three, Swiss researcher chemist Albert Hoffman took the
first LSD trip as a tiny amount of lysurgic acid
dithyllam made actually really hurted up because accidentally seeped through
the skin of his finger. The potent drug was synthesized
(07:44):
in nineteen thirty eight by Hoffman, but its hallucinogenic effects
were unknown until this day in nineteen forty three, when
Halfman accidentally ingested LSD. Haffman wrote in his journal, is
this Abby Hoffman? It's now Albert Hoffman?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
No, this is the guy.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Just let this with it, Okay, he holds his interest.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Last Friday, April sixteenth, nineteen forty three, I was forced
to interrupt my work in the laboratory in the middle
of the afternoon and proceed home, being affected by a
remarkable restlessness combined with a slight dizziness. At home, I
lay down and sink into a not unpleasant intoxicated.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Like conditions drug in a.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Dreamlike state, I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures,
extraordinary shapes with intense kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some
two hours, this condition faded away. Dude, where's my beaker?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And Horald does.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I as little as twenty five micrograms of LSD equal
to a few grains of salt, is capable of producing
vivid hallucination, man, dude.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
And now the rest of the story.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Albert, he's kind of liked him drugs and we started
taking it.
Speaker 9 (09:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (09:04):
Yeah, but it is a great coincidence that there is
an Abby Hoffman.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Who was Oh so this is not Abby.
Speaker 7 (09:10):
That's not the same guy.
Speaker 9 (09:12):
Oh okay, Oh.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
He was a Swiss researcher man. Yeah, save he hadn't
been playing old while Hendricks in the back. I had
done my Swiss accent, and I really had a lot
more fun.
Speaker 9 (09:21):
Ready, man, it's really greasy.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Him a dream like state I perceived in any interrupted
stream of fantastic teachers.
Speaker 9 (09:31):
Maybe not.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And finally your final leg up here this morning.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
In nineteen ninety three, Superman resurrected into four Superman.
Speaker 9 (09:40):
Albert Hoffins said, no, uh, it's eight.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And they're a lot of scopping. All right, Well there
you goes where we're getting our category.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah yeah, those where we just finishing legs.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
Okay, Brandon, been paying attention, it might be.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I have to go prize back up of grabs one
eight hundred big shows your toe free line caller nine.
Speaker 11 (10:04):
We'll play with you next by.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You have to big show on the radio Wednesday morning,
able to sixteen. Let's go on, get at our first contest.
Speaker 11 (10:37):
In the morning.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Waiting all night for the ups. Let's play upburst.
Speaker 9 (10:43):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 12 (10:46):
John boy, get your prizes from the big prize.
Speaker 9 (10:52):
I'm everybody time over your shair.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Contesting number one.
Speaker 8 (10:55):
This should really be a lot of fun to sing yours.
Speaker 12 (11:03):
You love shots, right, I tell you shot?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Hello, Ronnie, how's a boy?
Speaker 9 (11:24):
I'm burnt something worse than others.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Hey, y'all know it, good man? The only way to work, Yes, sir,
had a boy.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Let's see if you can get a little thinking in
before you get there and arrive a richer man.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Right, I didn't get a robbery.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
From that guy.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Alright, Ronnie, here we go buddy, three things that are
heavier than air.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Ready go right, stir gravel.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Yeah, well you're staring at the ground.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
That's a good time.
Speaker 9 (12:00):
He's a landscaper.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
That's a good place to find stuff heavier than air.
Look on the ground. Yep, good work, Ronnie.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
All right, buddy, here we go. Three illegal drugs.
Speaker 9 (12:11):
Ready go, lsay marijuana, cocaine.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Came up with that one awful hard ground up to
his pockets. All right, all right, now we gotta which
is working our way up? This is going to be
in your brain unless you're sitting in a comic bookshop.
Three comic book superheroes.
Speaker 9 (12:34):
Go incredible, Hulk, spider Man, Superman.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Running a.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Good congratulations running. Hang on, Jack gets information, We'll send
us to Damn. You can tell you that tango.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Thanks, Elsa. It's a big show on your radio. Thanks
for joining us this morning.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Hey, this is Adam saying you're.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Listening to the Big Show with John Boyne BENI.
Speaker 10 (13:42):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports, right y'all, who is.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
The appointed him schelf?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Remember I was quoted in the paper and saying I'm
tired of my friends. I need to find new friends
in summer, you know, so I don't want y'all take
that personal.
Speaker 8 (14:06):
I wish you would, now, why would they just because
they're your current friends?
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Spanky, turn around? Look at me, Spanky.
Speaker 8 (14:16):
He's turned around like Paul McCartney on the cover of
Sergeant Pepper.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Killer's just my new best friend.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Congratulate. We're all going later.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
I guess your place somehow.
Speaker 9 (14:29):
I don't see that one working out.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
For some reason, y'all had my list of new friends.
You know, it's been working on. But you you say
he got a letter. I didn't think he usually responded
to letters.
Speaker 13 (14:38):
It was more of a no, there's this letter here, though,
I think it's it's one of those ones that kind
of jumps out at you and you have. I mean,
I'm just gonna read this then i'll summarize real quick.
But this guy is Johnny and Billy's new promotion director,
and I'm gonna just read some highlights out of the
letter and then i'll summarize it. This is regarding Richard
Petty's surprise party in Richmond, Virginia and the charity race.
(15:00):
Dear john Boy and Billy, I'm one of your crazy listeners,
as your office likes to call us that are incarcerated anyway,
no hard feelings, right, well, you ain't heard nothing yet.
Then there it goes on down I talks about his
girlfriend a little bit. Then he says, I happened to
be a Richard Petty die Hard fan. Well, I'm working
with my city of Richard, Virginia to throw Richard a
surprise party. Would you guys like to come?
Speaker 9 (15:22):
Now?
Speaker 13 (15:22):
You are invited, but you need to bring to grill
the meat, the grilling sauce, and you need to be
able to see the party. If there's anything else you
like to do, just you know, just let this guy know.
Everything's going pretty good right here. You know, everything seems
to be upbeat. And then he goes, I don't care
what you think about me, but Richard deserves a birthday
party on his birthday.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
So I hope Richard listening.
Speaker 13 (15:43):
And it says the charity race at seven point thirty
and as well, and we'll be on the big screen.
So during the commercial, you and Billy need to do
some jokes or something. I don't think it'd be a problem.
And then he tells us all about this planning for
the race so way winning a billion dollars just down
at the bottom, and it says he gets to Impress
of m warned to sign his petition for pardon, and
Juny Donald Levy allows him to fill the Winston Cup
(16:05):
f and a bush team out of his shop for
a franchise fee. Now this is page three. As Spanky said,
something happened right here. The guy snaps, he gets hot
as a match right here. Okay, it says, See, guys,
I'm really nuts. No, I'm so crazy. I pleaded not
guilty to a crime I didn't commit. Don't sure I
understand that one is not guilty to a crime.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
That okay, it says.
Speaker 13 (16:30):
And now he doesn't care if y'all come or not,
because he's got enough entertainment and he just thought he'd
show you guys up since y'all think your blank don't stink.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Uh huh.
Speaker 13 (16:41):
And it says, if it wasn't, if it wasn't for
a party for Richard, he tell you both the blank off.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And now he's really hot right here, you know.
Speaker 13 (16:51):
And it says, but Richard's been his driver a lot
longer than he's listened.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
To your crazy progress.
Speaker 13 (16:58):
Now I'm gonna summarize this worried about ten little bits.
Soon the guy starts out. He admits he's crazy right
off the bat.
Speaker 9 (17:04):
Thanks.
Speaker 13 (17:04):
His girlfriend's in jail, but he's not sure he's a
Richard Petty die Hard does a great party for Richard's birthday,
got some great racing ideas. It sounds like a demolition derby,
gets the governor to pardoning. It becomes a Westay Cup
and a bush driver all at the same time. Snaps
on page three, turns angry. He gets hot as a
mat doesn't want you to come. But if Richard's party
(17:26):
and Johnny y'all be good together, y'all need to pull
yourself together.
Speaker 9 (17:40):
Shaun Woyam Delly rolled on t Good Morning Radio and
tell them race.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Good morning. The big show is on the radio. How
do you all?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
This is Ozzie Osbourne?
Speaker 14 (18:18):
You know me as as the principal Darkness when I'm
also at the Prince of Lower Prices. Come on down
and see for yourself at the Grand Open or Ozzy
Osborne Toyota.
Speaker 9 (18:30):
Is in arc start this weekend.
Speaker 14 (18:34):
We're biting a head or four prices during the Oars
Festive savings. Every corner the lottest price lower than my
daughter Kelly's chance of doing a second album.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
A man O two thousand and three.
Speaker 14 (18:45):
Toyotas are priced to movement unbelievable prices rebates up to
twenty five hundred dollars on full runners, cameras, avalons and uh.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
What's that truck of service?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Manager drives a fat guard said Tato, Toronto.
Speaker 15 (19:02):
What the.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
What the is it mean?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
To coke right, Tacoma?
Speaker 14 (19:08):
Yeah, thanks mate, Take a test drive, get a free
coloring book just like the one at my kitchen table.
Plus dip into my hump kit Jack's backpacket, grab a
free handful of whatever it is he's on this week.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
The boss is full of Xenix.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
They've all got to go.
Speaker 14 (19:24):
It's the grand opening Blizzard of values all week long
at the old New Aussie Osborne Toyota down there on
the uh down on the.
Speaker 9 (19:34):
What is it?
Speaker 16 (19:35):
Uh you know over there that big more rocking roll.
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 17 (19:52):
Uh ah hello, hello, yeah, yes, Jeff goldblumd uh you
know me from uh thor I guess maybe maybe not,
uh but uh you're listening to none other than John
Boy and uh who's Billy, Yes, John Boy and Billy
(20:12):
and all along. Ago was just setting it up for
uh suspense.
Speaker 10 (20:21):
M h.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
M hm, dapping him on into you and the big
(20:51):
shows on radio. Okay, okay, I'm Albert Hoffmann.
Speaker 9 (20:54):
I discovered here last week the Swedish Lepard.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Guard God most of Stow. We were talking about North Carolina, Ohio.
Argon over to Wright Brothers on North Carolina's license plate
is first in flight. Ohio settled for birthplace of aviation. Uh,
that's on Ohio's So see we can get along, right,
brothers born there and come North Carolina do something.
Speaker 9 (21:19):
Yeah, I just kidd getting right away from alling Ohio.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
They get done.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
When they were in Ohio, there were just a couple of.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Uh this is their postcard.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Hey guys, we just went through Memphis on the way
to Salt Lake City. I'm home April seventh. Leave for
your Abril. To tenth Man, missed them, I'll.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Call for it. Oh you did, Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
To Troy Pennington, this is a Troy Pinton Harlem Globe
Trotters travels. But brace yourselves. This is the white guy
on the team that loses all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
That's our buddy.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, that's our boy.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
People.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Hey, we got buds on Washington Generals. Are they still
the Generals? Are they? I guess different different teams, but.
Speaker 9 (22:04):
The weather have been playing.
Speaker 8 (22:05):
They think I've changed it to the Washington Wizards.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
They read the Wizards had done real well, tried to
come back and get him into playoffs.
Speaker 9 (22:14):
It's not going real well.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
I just don't care.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But anyway, so maybe yeah, hang out with Troy when
he gets back home.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Okay, hang out, Hey man.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I went by big old flea market when I was
driving over the weekend and going home. You stop, no
big surprise, but flea market. I was wondering that. I
was going to ask mister noadall, why do they call
him flea markets?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
Because actually it goes back to the olden times.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
Back in the ancient times, actually sold flee no, but
but you would be buying from less than clean people.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Mostly sold blankets and rugs and wares. And they were
often there with the sand fleas from the desert.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Oh sand fleas, those not like dog fleas, get on
your edge sand fleas.
Speaker 9 (22:58):
This was before eBay. It was pretty much it yeah,
all right.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Now, bet there's probably nine different stories.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
That's the one I've heard.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Okay, well, uh, we'll take your flea market stories and
uh look at them.
Speaker 9 (23:08):
Through the rest of the morning started there.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Was shopping, you know, Randy knows.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
All right, Well, congratulations, thank you, Good morning everybody. The
big show is on the radio. All right, we're gonna
celebrate prom season. It's prom season with the high schoolers.
We're gonna do that in about twenty minutes. You got
a daughter going to the prime. Uh, pillar's trick didn't work.
(23:34):
Loaned her date some of his cologne, so hopefully her
date would smell like daddy and she'd get freaked out.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
He sorry, work, whole weird thing going on.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
All right, dude, Well, let's let's play John Boy, Jeffardy,
Here shall we Yesterday we learned during the seventeenth century
the average woman had thirteen.
Speaker 18 (23:55):
Of these killings. Said if they were dogs, it was
because it was children. Those they looked like eight clubs
a freaky thing. Thirteen.
Speaker 9 (24:07):
Isn't that an odd number?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
It is?
Speaker 9 (24:09):
You wouldn't think, you don't questions?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
All right, here you go today's question. Well, the first
one of these appeared in sixteen nineteen at the Lizard Cornwell.
The man who built it was actually a pirate who
used it to lure ships close to shore so he
could plunder them.
Speaker 9 (24:30):
What is the Hooters.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Work?
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Y'all think one eight hundred big shows here toty line
across America. We'll start calling nine. Go do we get
a winter? Let's do it? Good morning to big show.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Is already moved around the bottom of the doll a night.
Speaker 15 (25:17):
It is time.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Yes, live across on my rack's chumping back. And now
a man who's actually hung out with pirates at a Hooters.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
He's John More, East Carolina.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Let's gonna say hello Angela Ala Tolula, Louisiana. Hello Angela,
good morning, have my lot cage and queen doing fine?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
You going to work this morning?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Angela?
Speaker 8 (25:52):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Oh where do you work?
Speaker 13 (25:55):
I work in Jackson, Mississippi. I'm a paramedic on the Angelance.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Oh you're paramedic? Cool man?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
That is neat lo man. I tell you what I
need a baby doll paramedic in my entoaroge.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's true, you need CPR.
Speaker 9 (26:09):
I need a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
All right, let's see if you can win here.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
The first one of these appeared in sixteen nineteen at
the lizard corn Wall. Cornwall was uh, the man who
built it was actually a pirate who used it to
lure ships close to shore so he could plunder them.
Speaker 17 (26:27):
What do you think a lighthouse?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Show us a lighthouse.
Speaker 11 (26:33):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Right off the bat? About that and see and we
used it for good?
Speaker 9 (26:43):
Pirates are.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Angela?
Speaker 9 (26:46):
Thank you for what you do?
Speaker 10 (26:48):
Man, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I wanted to be like a fireman, a policeman ambulance,
but he's afraid of sirens, blood and blood.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
Yeah, what do you go?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Babe? Hold on, what's up? Fellabida?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
It's this yild, two hundred pounds of twisted steel and
sex appeal.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
The American dreams don't get it?
Speaker 9 (27:13):
Going North Caklaki, North Cadlak.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Good morning, to make show us on the radio, John.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Bond, Billy Randy, all right, hey, let me tell you
y'all a little story here. There's some Tom Griz had
done in Dublin. Georgia said, we might think this was funny.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Is it a sad story? I said, I'm trying to
pick music up.
Speaker 9 (28:07):
No, no, it's a story from his youth.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
We'll just just figured it out.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I'll started hot, sweaty and covered with tobacco tar, we
had music. We had cropped all day long. My cousin
and I had jumped into his sixty two beetle and
run to Boone Saloon to do what most seventeen year
old tobacco croppers do in Coffee County after a twelve
hour day in the field, we were bent on getting
some beer. Well, knowing Homer's reputation, in the fact, we
(28:37):
were kN and knew a lot more about Homer than
he would care for us to getting beer was not
that much of a problem. This was back in nineteen
seventy three. We had left the social club and taken
Highway four forty one toward Pridgin when my cousin decided
the road worthiness of his v W should be challenged
at that time, we decided to take one seventeen dirt
(28:57):
at that time back home. We'd been on the dird
for about five minutes when we spotted a buzzard up
ahead in the middle of the road. I only had
a minute when I knew what my cousin had already decided.
Going back for a second, I'd liked to remind and
enlighten you on our vehicle of choice. A nineteen sixty
two VW beetle good tires, eight ball shifter handle, black
semi leatherette seats, bent steering will and rust all the
(29:20):
way around each window, one lonely headlight, one running board,
bottomless dash, and a wiper that could be shared.
Speaker 9 (29:26):
Do he eat people?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
When I realized that the buzzard was a target for
the VW, it was too late to do anything except
go along with it. My cousin shifted hard into third gear,
and that little motor went to screaming as we approached
what we estimated to be thirty miles per hour. Speedometer
didn't work. By the time he went to fourth, we
had made all preparations for impact. We had covered every
(29:49):
possible strategy that might occur, all of them except one.
Within striking distance. The great bird turned, looked us straight
in the face, and flapped his huge wings one and
we were on him. Cublam Boy or bird did not
expect what happened next. With one motion of his wings,
he had managed to place his body in line with
(30:10):
our windshield. We hit hard. As I looked out, I
saw the windshield fold up around the bird and fly
past us into the rear of the car. Through a
hail of broken glass and extremely rusty VW parts.
Speaker 6 (30:23):
Wooo.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
My cousin brought the heap to a stop on the
side of the dirt road after about two seconds of
solid screaming. We were asking each other. We were asking
each other if we were okay, whoa, We were lucky
not to get hurt. But hey, that poor, unfortunate, innocent bird,
(30:47):
we thought, as we heard a noise in the back
seat that sounded like the rolling away of a mighty
stone and slow motion. When we turned around with our
mouths open and eyes wide, I could feel those things
tightened that you always hear older folks talk about. We
were now about eight inches away from the biggest, ugliest,
and apparently maddest bird I had ever seen. I tried
(31:13):
to scream, but all that came out was ip ip.
Now we realize this bird ain't hurt real bad, and
it's probably tougher than any animal we have ever treed.
It was at this moment in time decisions had to
be made quickly. As it became apparent what our decision was,
(31:33):
the great bird leaned forward into the front as if
he were on the attack, and spewed the most horrid
smelling and feeling white liquid from his mouth that I
had ever witnessed. We were covered before we could get
the doors open. Suddenly our screams were audible. Out of
(31:57):
the car and now it a dead, barefooted run. He
made way for a large sycamore tree on the side
of the road. Dry heaves, dry heaves, and all yes.
At this time the situation is looking grim. Has bound
happens sooner or later. We were covered in something that
seems to be on the verge of removing upper levels
(32:18):
of skin with no water or anything to get it off.
Results to teenagers on the ground rolling like dogs in
the dirt after a bath didn't help. Now we're covered
with dirt filled buzzard vomit. Now a young man whippers,
why didn't you stop me?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Stop you?
Speaker 4 (32:37):
You're crazy?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
You knew when you shifted there was no going back.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Well, after a little more arguing in a scuffle to
the side who was getting the bird out, the buzzard
stumbled from the VW boy who were shocked as they
slowly made steps toward us. Next situation, panic stricken teenage
boys as we frantically look for an escape. The bird
turned and slowly flew off with no apparent injury. The
(33:08):
trip home was slow and quiet, with an occasional gag
or heave from the odor in the car. We bathed
in the barn after a good whipping from my uncle,
not because of the beer or the bird, but for
going to Boon saloon.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Thank you, Tom. Her story from your.
Speaker 19 (33:29):
Youth Mom says they're the black sheep of the family.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Good morning to make shows on a red Uh, let's
stay here. Yeah, there's prom season, y'all talk about the
prom themes, pillars, You remember your prom theme?
Speaker 4 (34:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 20 (34:11):
All the rest of my friends were going, so I
took a girl I didn't really care if I went with,
and the rest of it just hung out, parted around
all prom night, making fun of the losers dancing.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
And it was miserable.
Speaker 20 (34:25):
I got my payback and I ran out of gas
on the way home, legitimately, and she hitched a ride
with somebody else.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Oh good time.
Speaker 9 (34:33):
That's cold man memories at.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Least Randy's prom theme with things I can't believe I
have a date.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, actually that's my.
Speaker 9 (34:41):
Memory of it.
Speaker 7 (34:41):
I can't remember the theme, but I remember thinking, thank god,
I have a day.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Right, Well, let's look at tire Day's top ten list.
Better you do the read.
Speaker 8 (34:49):
I'm not talking from the creative writing class at byron
an On Junior High in Lumberton, North Carolina. Here they
are the top ten worst prom theme this year Number
ten Hurling under the Stars. Number nine, Buttons and bows
and a fistful of stacker two weird number eight. We
(35:12):
shall not pass this way again except for our really
depressing reunion in about ten years. Number seven, fear Factor
number six, Dude, where's my Dad's car? Number five, Joe
minimum wage number.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Four, Rise up and kill the popular kid.
Speaker 8 (35:36):
Number three, everybody loves Raymond's slutty sister Debbie. Number two,
I'm a sophomore, Get me out of here. And the
number one rejected prom theme, SmackDown.
Speaker 15 (35:56):
What's happening by slowbo here?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Listen there.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Then I'm in the kitchen ripping up some crap locks.
Speaker 15 (36:06):
I shall get filthy fish on a big part of those.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
Hurt and slap shaken. Nothing keeps a.
Speaker 15 (36:14):
Smile on my face like listening to my favorite schlamel
and slamosels, John Boy and Billy there regular hashin feverecorporated,
See you guys on headecks huh, what's that like?
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Good morning, The Big Show is on the radio, John Boy, Billy, Randy,
and Astro Nerd in the studio now ran. It was
just Brom Me an Astro Nerd talking about the lunar
eclipse that's coming up next month.
Speaker 9 (37:12):
I'm guessing he was doing most of the talk.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
I was asking about it. You know, he's got a
job write an article once a month. Last night was
a full moon.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Man.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
I was sitting down on the deck man's land.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
He's just looking at the moon.
Speaker 8 (37:25):
He looked down, he realized he was covered with hair,
and he thought he was trying toil.
Speaker 9 (37:28):
He realized that he looks like that all the.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Time and was making this sound. It's pretty scary.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Really, yeah, it tickles me.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah yeah, but uh, anyway, I had some point to
the door. I can't remember what it is right there.
Speaker 8 (37:51):
I know what it was. It was astro Nerd. Please
leave him alone. You're creeping him out, man.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, thanks, really, I always know
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
More chance for you to win coming up after your
news weathers borts.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
This is Donald Trump and you're listening to the big
show on the radio, John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
These guys are tremendous right now.
Speaker 5 (00:17):
The number one John Boy and Billy I've ever heard.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And I know a lot of John Boy and Billy,
trust me, a tremendous amount of John Boy and Billy's.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
And there's some smaller shows. But this is the big show.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
It's the big show on your radio.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I think that's how John Boy says, it's a big
show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio, bright
and early, just like I promised yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Aren't we wonderful?
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Not according to the email.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I just answering, Oh, who's mad at who?
Speaker 4 (01:24):
He's still about that Yankee thing? I did it?
Speaker 6 (01:26):
You know, you people, it's a comedy show, your morons,
not like an editorial.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
It's not like I wrote it in the Observer yet, idiot.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
What Yankee thing?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
You know? When I did that?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Oh Yankee superior to Southerners.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
The same thing I say all the time.
Speaker 7 (01:41):
You know that thing he believes, but he always tries
to play off like he's kidding.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well y'all don't worry about that. Don't
waste your time getting mad at pillers. There's no no police.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
Do because there's nothing that gets my blood pumping in
the morning, like right in the back of email.
Speaker 8 (01:58):
To some morons, it's like a worm. When you cut
him in half, it doesn't kill him. It makes two
words the same idea.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Plus, I didn't have a good day at the dentist yesterday,
unlike some people in this town who just seemed to
love to go to the dentist.
Speaker 9 (02:11):
So what happened at the dias is a.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
Moron Southern oh see, and he might be a foreign descent.
I'm still doing a background check on. If I find
that out, I'm gonna just pound nuts on his head.
Speaker 10 (02:26):
Now.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
I got a crack tooth and it's a little infected now,
so I couldn't get it worked on it.
Speaker 9 (02:30):
Oh you gotta get some into my bodies there a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
So I'm just hotter than a match this morning.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You know, I bet we open up lines. We can
get that thing out for you.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
I had the fellow down Hall offered to do it
for me. He said, I kneel on your chest, take
pen kniffe, get in there. He's a stout feller.
Speaker 9 (02:45):
I believe he a guy from engineering or the guy
from sales.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
From sales.
Speaker 9 (02:49):
Oh yeah, yah yah, he's not having.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
A good day.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Well, well, best of luck to you and yours.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Hey, where's our happy talk? First thing in the morning.
It's beautiful, it's springtime.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Oh it's beautiful, man, all the things are drum season.
Speaker 9 (03:10):
Oh the pillars the only one.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Another great idea. Yeah, his daughter is of prom age. Now,
so boyfriend prom date shows up pillars, gives him his
cologne to wear, hoping that will somehow freak his daughter out.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
He's not good. Oh, I can't complain.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
He's a thinker. You know, never know of that because
you know I don't have daughters.
Speaker 9 (03:38):
Got all boys.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, no, I wish you could walk them all of
my shoes.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
That I keep telling him the same thing.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, as I say, I feel like I got one
with Randy's daughter. I can kind of, you know, just
put my input in, you know, hell braised that somebody
would do.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
And then when he gets too sticky and just say okay,
yeah I.
Speaker 7 (03:56):
Didn't what I could you might as well consider your
daughter and just like my mother, they both love you
more than.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
I need. Some time to say your prayers. God, this
John boy and I might here, you know, right here?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yeah, could you give me a drink of water.
Speaker 9 (04:11):
I'll be right with you in a minute.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
You mind, don't eiter rupt.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I'm praying.
Speaker 9 (04:15):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oh y'all do the best you can. That's all you
can do.
Speaker 7 (04:20):
Huh right, yeah, because there's many John boys in the world, pillars.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Unfortunately, I think I might have a billy. I think so.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
I think he's a decent kid. I think he's a
normal kid, smart kid. But if he turns out to
be a jumble, I'm gonna whil on him. I didn't expect. Said, well,
I'm just gonna have him spend the night. I said, oh, really,
where's he sleeping. Well, he's sleep in the guest room.
I said, no, he's sleeping with me.
Speaker 8 (04:48):
Like plays trades at automobile my anger management where.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
You don't mind, I like to sleep in the news.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Where's your other teenager? Y'all pull yourselves together. We're gonna
play out bursts here in says a few minutes. We'll
give you these days In histories, where we'll get our categories.
Two weeks worth of winters working on a third day
up and you might as well be one.
Speaker 9 (05:12):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
A big show is on the radio for this Wednesday,
April the sixteenth. Hope you got your taxes in done.
I hope you go and get some money back from
the government. Yeah, here's your legs up for where we're
getting our categories.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Were oute birds. We're getting ready to play. I'll be
like reading all this now, it's not so interesting.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Help wrong inventor Wilbur Wright would have been one hundred
and thirty five. He was the older of the two
Right brothers. On December seventeenth, nineteen oh three, of ten
thirty five am Eastern time, the Right Brothers made the
first heavier than air flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
Speaker 9 (05:50):
I told you it was going to work out.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Stupid Horville earned the honor becoming the first man to
fly after beating Wilburn a coin toss. Wilbur died ty Ford,
Fever and Dayton, Ohio, May thirtieth, nineteen twelve, at age
forty five. You know the bros were from Ohio, Ohio
bicycle shop. Yeah, and that's why Hio was saying, hey man,
we used to be first in flight because that's where
they were from. Well, they went down to the you know,
(06:13):
out of banks in North Carolina where you get that
long flat Santa Kitty Hall and a good Win.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
So yeah, so you gotta go with we get.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
In on our license plate.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
There was a just and on the North Carolina license
place in case the folks listen, they don't know, it
says first in flight, not first.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
It said something else, and they had to go back
and oh, was.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
It first in freedom or something like that, because Mecklenburg County,
North Carolina was the first area in America to declare
their independence from England Mexlemburg Declaration of Independence.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
So there was some big guy huha about its flight. Yeah,
we meant to say flight.
Speaker 9 (06:48):
Well it was first in freedom, I think, well we
think we were.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, but it's well, we backed off our license plate
for somebody.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Ohio, did we give more air? You'll have freedom, We'll
take a fly. Yeah, we all just get along, all right,
nineteen forty three, go ahead, Uh Andy, this just looks
totally boring to me.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
It's not it's it's it's historical.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
They'll give you a Swiss.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Now, if you're gonna do that, I can't say.
Speaker 9 (07:12):
I mean, I got algia.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Just get my nose bread up and you give me
like a short story novel, like four sentences.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Okay, I thought, okay, okay, okay. I put him big
cut because he's old.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Nineteen forty three, Swiss researcher chemist Albert Hoffman took the
first LSD trip as a tiny amount of lysurgic acid
dithyllam made actually really hurted up because accidentally seeped through
the skin of his finger. The potent drug was synthesized
(07:44):
in nineteen thirty eight by Hoffman, but its hallucinogenic effects
were unknown until this day in nineteen forty three, when
Halfman accidentally ingested LSD. Haffman wrote in his journal, is
this Abby Hoffman? It's now Albert Hoffman?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
No, this is the guy.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Just let this with it, Okay, he holds his interest.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Last Friday, April sixteenth, nineteen forty three, I was forced
to interrupt my work in the laboratory in the middle
of the afternoon and proceed home, being affected by a
remarkable restlessness combined with a slight dizziness. At home, I
lay down and sink into a not unpleasant intoxicated.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Like conditions drug in a.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Dreamlike state, I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures,
extraordinary shapes with intense kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some
two hours, this condition faded away. Dude, where's my beaker?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And Horald does.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I as little as twenty five micrograms of LSD equal
to a few grains of salt, is capable of producing
vivid hallucination, man, dude.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
And now the rest of the story.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Albert, he's kind of liked him drugs and we started
taking it.
Speaker 9 (09:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (09:04):
Yeah, but it is a great coincidence that there is
an Abby Hoffman.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Who was Oh so this is not Abby.
Speaker 7 (09:10):
That's not the same guy.
Speaker 9 (09:12):
Oh okay, Oh.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
He was a Swiss researcher man. Yeah, save he hadn't
been playing old while Hendricks in the back. I had
done my Swiss accent, and I really had a lot
more fun.
Speaker 9 (09:21):
Ready, man, it's really greasy.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Him a dream like state I perceived in any interrupted
stream of fantastic teachers.
Speaker 9 (09:31):
Maybe not.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And finally your final leg up here this morning.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
In nineteen ninety three, Superman resurrected into four Superman.
Speaker 9 (09:40):
Albert Hoffins said, no, uh, it's eight.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And they're a lot of scopping. All right, Well there
you goes where we're getting our category.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah yeah, those where we just finishing legs.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
Okay, Brandon, been paying attention, it might be.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I have to go prize back up of grabs one
eight hundred big shows your toe free line caller nine.
Speaker 11 (10:04):
We'll play with you next by.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You have to big show on the radio Wednesday morning,
able to sixteen. Let's go on, get at our first contest.
Speaker 11 (10:37):
In the morning.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Waiting all night for the ups. Let's play upburst.
Speaker 9 (10:43):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 12 (10:46):
John boy, get your prizes from the big prize.
Speaker 9 (10:52):
I'm everybody time over your shair.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Contesting number one.
Speaker 8 (10:55):
This should really be a lot of fun to sing yours.
Speaker 12 (11:03):
You love shots, right, I tell you shot?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Hello, Ronnie, how's a boy?
Speaker 9 (11:24):
I'm burnt something worse than others.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Hey, y'all know it, good man? The only way to work, Yes, sir,
had a boy.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Let's see if you can get a little thinking in
before you get there and arrive a richer man.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Right, I didn't get a robbery.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
From that guy.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Alright, Ronnie, here we go buddy, three things that are
heavier than air.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Ready go right, stir gravel.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Yeah, well you're staring at the ground.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
That's a good time.
Speaker 9 (12:00):
He's a landscaper.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
That's a good place to find stuff heavier than air.
Look on the ground. Yep, good work, Ronnie.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
All right, buddy, here we go. Three illegal drugs.
Speaker 9 (12:11):
Ready go, lsay marijuana, cocaine.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Came up with that one awful hard ground up to
his pockets. All right, all right, now we gotta which
is working our way up? This is going to be
in your brain unless you're sitting in a comic bookshop.
Three comic book superheroes.
Speaker 9 (12:34):
Go incredible, Hulk, spider Man, Superman.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Running a.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Good congratulations running. Hang on, Jack gets information, We'll send
us to Damn. You can tell you that tango.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Thanks, Elsa. It's a big show on your radio. Thanks
for joining us this morning.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Hey, this is Adam saying you're.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Listening to the Big Show with John Boyne BENI.
Speaker 10 (13:42):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports, right y'all, who is.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
The appointed him schelf?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Remember I was quoted in the paper and saying I'm
tired of my friends. I need to find new friends
in summer, you know, so I don't want y'all take
that personal.
Speaker 8 (14:06):
I wish you would, now, why would they just because
they're your current friends?
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Spanky, turn around? Look at me, Spanky.
Speaker 8 (14:16):
He's turned around like Paul McCartney on the cover of
Sergeant Pepper.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Killer's just my new best friend.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Congratulate. We're all going later.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
I guess your place somehow.
Speaker 9 (14:29):
I don't see that one working out.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
For some reason, y'all had my list of new friends.
You know, it's been working on. But you you say
he got a letter. I didn't think he usually responded
to letters.
Speaker 13 (14:38):
It was more of a no, there's this letter here, though,
I think it's it's one of those ones that kind
of jumps out at you and you have. I mean,
I'm just gonna read this then i'll summarize real quick.
But this guy is Johnny and Billy's new promotion director,
and I'm gonna just read some highlights out of the
letter and then i'll summarize it. This is regarding Richard
Petty's surprise party in Richmond, Virginia and the charity race.
(15:00):
Dear john Boy and Billy, I'm one of your crazy listeners,
as your office likes to call us that are incarcerated anyway,
no hard feelings, right, well, you ain't heard nothing yet.
Then there it goes on down I talks about his
girlfriend a little bit. Then he says, I happened to
be a Richard Petty die Hard fan. Well, I'm working
with my city of Richard, Virginia to throw Richard a
surprise party. Would you guys like to come?
Speaker 9 (15:22):
Now?
Speaker 13 (15:22):
You are invited, but you need to bring to grill
the meat, the grilling sauce, and you need to be
able to see the party. If there's anything else you
like to do, just you know, just let this guy know.
Everything's going pretty good right here. You know, everything seems
to be upbeat. And then he goes, I don't care
what you think about me, but Richard deserves a birthday
party on his birthday.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
So I hope Richard listening.
Speaker 13 (15:43):
And it says the charity race at seven point thirty
and as well, and we'll be on the big screen.
So during the commercial, you and Billy need to do
some jokes or something. I don't think it'd be a problem.
And then he tells us all about this planning for
the race so way winning a billion dollars just down
at the bottom, and it says he gets to Impress
of m warned to sign his petition for pardon, and
Juny Donald Levy allows him to fill the Winston Cup
(16:05):
f and a bush team out of his shop for
a franchise fee. Now this is page three. As Spanky said,
something happened right here. The guy snaps, he gets hot
as a match right here. Okay, it says, See, guys,
I'm really nuts. No, I'm so crazy. I pleaded not
guilty to a crime I didn't commit. Don't sure I
understand that one is not guilty to a crime.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
That okay, it says.
Speaker 13 (16:30):
And now he doesn't care if y'all come or not,
because he's got enough entertainment and he just thought he'd
show you guys up since y'all think your blank don't stink.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Uh huh.
Speaker 13 (16:41):
And it says, if it wasn't, if it wasn't for
a party for Richard, he tell you both the blank off.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And now he's really hot right here, you know.
Speaker 13 (16:51):
And it says, but Richard's been his driver a lot
longer than he's listened.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
To your crazy progress.
Speaker 13 (16:58):
Now I'm gonna summarize this worried about ten little bits.
Soon the guy starts out. He admits he's crazy right
off the bat.
Speaker 9 (17:04):
Thanks.
Speaker 13 (17:04):
His girlfriend's in jail, but he's not sure he's a
Richard Petty die Hard does a great party for Richard's birthday,
got some great racing ideas. It sounds like a demolition derby,
gets the governor to pardoning. It becomes a Westay Cup
and a bush driver all at the same time. Snaps
on page three, turns angry. He gets hot as a
mat doesn't want you to come. But if Richard's party
(17:26):
and Johnny y'all be good together, y'all need to pull
yourself together.
Speaker 9 (17:40):
Shaun Woyam Delly rolled on t Good Morning Radio and
tell them race.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Good morning. The big show is on the radio. How
do you all?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
This is Ozzie Osbourne?
Speaker 14 (18:18):
You know me as as the principal Darkness when I'm
also at the Prince of Lower Prices. Come on down
and see for yourself at the Grand Open or Ozzy
Osborne Toyota.
Speaker 9 (18:30):
Is in arc start this weekend.
Speaker 14 (18:34):
We're biting a head or four prices during the Oars
Festive savings. Every corner the lottest price lower than my
daughter Kelly's chance of doing a second album.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
A man O two thousand and three.
Speaker 14 (18:45):
Toyotas are priced to movement unbelievable prices rebates up to
twenty five hundred dollars on full runners, cameras, avalons and uh.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
What's that truck of service?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Manager drives a fat guard said Tato, Toronto.
Speaker 15 (19:02):
What the.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
What the is it mean?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
To coke right, Tacoma?
Speaker 14 (19:08):
Yeah, thanks mate, Take a test drive, get a free
coloring book just like the one at my kitchen table.
Plus dip into my hump kit Jack's backpacket, grab a
free handful of whatever it is he's on this week.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
The boss is full of Xenix.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
They've all got to go.
Speaker 14 (19:24):
It's the grand opening Blizzard of values all week long
at the old New Aussie Osborne Toyota down there on
the uh down on the.
Speaker 9 (19:34):
What is it?
Speaker 16 (19:35):
Uh you know over there that big more rocking roll.
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 17 (19:52):
Uh ah hello, hello, yeah, yes, Jeff goldblumd uh you
know me from uh thor I guess maybe maybe not,
uh but uh you're listening to none other than John
Boy and uh who's Billy, Yes, John Boy and Billy
(20:12):
and all along. Ago was just setting it up for
uh suspense.
Speaker 10 (20:21):
M h.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
M hm, dapping him on into you and the big
(20:51):
shows on radio. Okay, okay, I'm Albert Hoffmann.
Speaker 9 (20:54):
I discovered here last week the Swedish Lepard.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Guard God most of Stow. We were talking about North Carolina, Ohio.
Argon over to Wright Brothers on North Carolina's license plate
is first in flight. Ohio settled for birthplace of aviation. Uh,
that's on Ohio's So see we can get along, right,
brothers born there and come North Carolina do something.
Speaker 9 (21:19):
Yeah, I just kidd getting right away from alling Ohio.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
They get done.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
When they were in Ohio, there were just a couple of.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Uh this is their postcard.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Hey guys, we just went through Memphis on the way
to Salt Lake City. I'm home April seventh. Leave for
your Abril. To tenth Man, missed them, I'll.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Call for it. Oh you did, Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
To Troy Pennington, this is a Troy Pinton Harlem Globe
Trotters travels. But brace yourselves. This is the white guy
on the team that loses all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
That's our buddy.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, that's our boy.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
People.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Hey, we got buds on Washington Generals. Are they still
the Generals? Are they? I guess different different teams, but.
Speaker 9 (22:04):
The weather have been playing.
Speaker 8 (22:05):
They think I've changed it to the Washington Wizards.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
They read the Wizards had done real well, tried to
come back and get him into playoffs.
Speaker 9 (22:14):
It's not going real well.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
I just don't care.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But anyway, so maybe yeah, hang out with Troy when
he gets back home.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Okay, hang out, Hey man.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I went by big old flea market when I was
driving over the weekend and going home. You stop, no
big surprise, but flea market. I was wondering that. I
was going to ask mister noadall, why do they call
him flea markets?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
Because actually it goes back to the olden times.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
Back in the ancient times, actually sold flee no, but
but you would be buying from less than clean people.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Mostly sold blankets and rugs and wares. And they were
often there with the sand fleas from the desert.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Oh sand fleas, those not like dog fleas, get on
your edge sand fleas.
Speaker 9 (22:58):
This was before eBay. It was pretty much it yeah,
all right.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Now, bet there's probably nine different stories.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
That's the one I've heard.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Okay, well, uh, we'll take your flea market stories and
uh look at them.
Speaker 9 (23:08):
Through the rest of the morning started there.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Was shopping, you know, Randy knows.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
All right, Well, congratulations, thank you, Good morning everybody. The
big show is on the radio. All right, we're gonna
celebrate prom season. It's prom season with the high schoolers.
We're gonna do that in about twenty minutes. You got
a daughter going to the prime. Uh, pillar's trick didn't work.
(23:34):
Loaned her date some of his cologne, so hopefully her
date would smell like daddy and she'd get freaked out.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
He sorry, work, whole weird thing going on.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
All right, dude, Well, let's let's play John Boy, Jeffardy,
Here shall we Yesterday we learned during the seventeenth century
the average woman had thirteen.
Speaker 18 (23:55):
Of these killings. Said if they were dogs, it was
because it was children. Those they looked like eight clubs
a freaky thing. Thirteen.
Speaker 9 (24:07):
Isn't that an odd number?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
It is?
Speaker 9 (24:09):
You wouldn't think, you don't questions?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
All right, here you go today's question. Well, the first
one of these appeared in sixteen nineteen at the Lizard Cornwell.
The man who built it was actually a pirate who
used it to lure ships close to shore so he
could plunder them.
Speaker 9 (24:30):
What is the Hooters.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Work?
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Y'all think one eight hundred big shows here toty line
across America. We'll start calling nine. Go do we get
a winter? Let's do it? Good morning to big show.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Is already moved around the bottom of the doll a night.
Speaker 15 (25:17):
It is time.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Yes, live across on my rack's chumping back. And now
a man who's actually hung out with pirates at a Hooters.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
He's John More, East Carolina.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Let's gonna say hello Angela Ala Tolula, Louisiana. Hello Angela,
good morning, have my lot cage and queen doing fine?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
You going to work this morning?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Angela?
Speaker 8 (25:52):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Oh where do you work?
Speaker 13 (25:55):
I work in Jackson, Mississippi. I'm a paramedic on the Angelance.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Oh you're paramedic? Cool man?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
That is neat lo man. I tell you what I
need a baby doll paramedic in my entoaroge.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's true, you need CPR.
Speaker 9 (26:09):
I need a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
All right, let's see if you can win here.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
The first one of these appeared in sixteen nineteen at
the lizard corn Wall. Cornwall was uh, the man who
built it was actually a pirate who used it to
lure ships close to shore so he could plunder them.
Speaker 17 (26:27):
What do you think a lighthouse?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Show us a lighthouse.
Speaker 11 (26:33):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Right off the bat? About that and see and we
used it for good?
Speaker 9 (26:43):
Pirates are.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Angela?
Speaker 9 (26:46):
Thank you for what you do?
Speaker 10 (26:48):
Man, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I wanted to be like a fireman, a policeman ambulance,
but he's afraid of sirens, blood and blood.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
Yeah, what do you go?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Babe? Hold on, what's up? Fellabida?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
It's this yild, two hundred pounds of twisted steel and
sex appeal.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
The American dreams don't get it?
Speaker 9 (27:13):
Going North Caklaki, North Cadlak.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Good morning, to make show us on the radio, John.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Bond, Billy Randy, all right, hey, let me tell you
y'all a little story here. There's some Tom Griz had
done in Dublin. Georgia said, we might think this was funny.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Is it a sad story? I said, I'm trying to
pick music up.
Speaker 9 (28:07):
No, no, it's a story from his youth.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
We'll just just figured it out.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I'll started hot, sweaty and covered with tobacco tar, we
had music. We had cropped all day long. My cousin
and I had jumped into his sixty two beetle and
run to Boone Saloon to do what most seventeen year
old tobacco croppers do in Coffee County after a twelve
hour day in the field, we were bent on getting
some beer. Well, knowing Homer's reputation, in the fact, we
(28:37):
were kN and knew a lot more about Homer than
he would care for us to getting beer was not
that much of a problem. This was back in nineteen
seventy three. We had left the social club and taken
Highway four forty one toward Pridgin when my cousin decided
the road worthiness of his v W should be challenged
at that time, we decided to take one seventeen dirt
(28:57):
at that time back home. We'd been on the dird
for about five minutes when we spotted a buzzard up
ahead in the middle of the road. I only had
a minute when I knew what my cousin had already decided.
Going back for a second, I'd liked to remind and
enlighten you on our vehicle of choice. A nineteen sixty
two VW beetle good tires, eight ball shifter handle, black
semi leatherette seats, bent steering will and rust all the
(29:20):
way around each window, one lonely headlight, one running board,
bottomless dash, and a wiper that could be shared.
Speaker 9 (29:26):
Do he eat people?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
When I realized that the buzzard was a target for
the VW, it was too late to do anything except
go along with it. My cousin shifted hard into third gear,
and that little motor went to screaming as we approached
what we estimated to be thirty miles per hour. Speedometer
didn't work. By the time he went to fourth, we
had made all preparations for impact. We had covered every
(29:49):
possible strategy that might occur, all of them except one.
Within striking distance. The great bird turned, looked us straight
in the face, and flapped his huge wings one and
we were on him. Cublam Boy or bird did not
expect what happened next. With one motion of his wings,
he had managed to place his body in line with
(30:10):
our windshield. We hit hard. As I looked out, I
saw the windshield fold up around the bird and fly
past us into the rear of the car. Through a
hail of broken glass and extremely rusty VW parts.
Speaker 6 (30:23):
Wooo.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
My cousin brought the heap to a stop on the
side of the dirt road after about two seconds of
solid screaming. We were asking each other. We were asking
each other if we were okay, whoa, We were lucky
not to get hurt. But hey, that poor, unfortunate, innocent bird,
(30:47):
we thought, as we heard a noise in the back
seat that sounded like the rolling away of a mighty
stone and slow motion. When we turned around with our
mouths open and eyes wide, I could feel those things
tightened that you always hear older folks talk about. We
were now about eight inches away from the biggest, ugliest,
and apparently maddest bird I had ever seen. I tried
(31:13):
to scream, but all that came out was ip ip.
Now we realize this bird ain't hurt real bad, and
it's probably tougher than any animal we have ever treed.
It was at this moment in time decisions had to
be made quickly. As it became apparent what our decision was,
(31:33):
the great bird leaned forward into the front as if
he were on the attack, and spewed the most horrid
smelling and feeling white liquid from his mouth that I
had ever witnessed. We were covered before we could get
the doors open. Suddenly our screams were audible. Out of
(31:57):
the car and now it a dead, barefooted run. He
made way for a large sycamore tree on the side
of the road. Dry heaves, dry heaves, and all yes.
At this time the situation is looking grim. Has bound
happens sooner or later. We were covered in something that
seems to be on the verge of removing upper levels
(32:18):
of skin with no water or anything to get it off.
Results to teenagers on the ground rolling like dogs in
the dirt after a bath didn't help. Now we're covered
with dirt filled buzzard vomit. Now a young man whippers,
why didn't you stop me?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Stop you?
Speaker 4 (32:37):
You're crazy?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
You knew when you shifted there was no going back.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Well, after a little more arguing in a scuffle to
the side who was getting the bird out, the buzzard
stumbled from the VW boy who were shocked as they
slowly made steps toward us. Next situation, panic stricken teenage
boys as we frantically look for an escape. The bird
turned and slowly flew off with no apparent injury. The
(33:08):
trip home was slow and quiet, with an occasional gag
or heave from the odor in the car. We bathed
in the barn after a good whipping from my uncle,
not because of the beer or the bird, but for
going to Boon saloon.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Thank you, Tom. Her story from your.
Speaker 19 (33:29):
Youth Mom says they're the black sheep of the family.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Good morning to make shows on a red Uh, let's
stay here. Yeah, there's prom season, y'all talk about the
prom themes, pillars, You remember your prom theme?
Speaker 4 (34:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 20 (34:11):
All the rest of my friends were going, so I
took a girl I didn't really care if I went with,
and the rest of it just hung out, parted around
all prom night, making fun of the losers dancing.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
And it was miserable.
Speaker 20 (34:25):
I got my payback and I ran out of gas
on the way home, legitimately, and she hitched a ride
with somebody else.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Oh good time.
Speaker 9 (34:33):
That's cold man memories at.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Least Randy's prom theme with things I can't believe I
have a date.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, actually that's my.
Speaker 9 (34:41):
Memory of it.
Speaker 7 (34:41):
I can't remember the theme, but I remember thinking, thank god,
I have a day.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Right, Well, let's look at tire Day's top ten list.
Better you do the read.
Speaker 8 (34:49):
I'm not talking from the creative writing class at byron
an On Junior High in Lumberton, North Carolina. Here they
are the top ten worst prom theme this year Number
ten Hurling under the Stars. Number nine, Buttons and bows
and a fistful of stacker two weird number eight. We
(35:12):
shall not pass this way again except for our really
depressing reunion in about ten years. Number seven, fear Factor
number six, Dude, where's my Dad's car? Number five, Joe
minimum wage number.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Four, Rise up and kill the popular kid.
Speaker 8 (35:36):
Number three, everybody loves Raymond's slutty sister Debbie. Number two,
I'm a sophomore, Get me out of here. And the
number one rejected prom theme, SmackDown.
Speaker 15 (35:56):
What's happening by slowbo here?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Listen there.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Then I'm in the kitchen ripping up some crap locks.
Speaker 15 (36:06):
I shall get filthy fish on a big part of those.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
Hurt and slap shaken. Nothing keeps a.
Speaker 15 (36:14):
Smile on my face like listening to my favorite schlamel
and slamosels, John Boy and Billy there regular hashin feverecorporated,
See you guys on headecks huh, what's that like?
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Good morning, The Big Show is on the radio, John Boy, Billy, Randy,
and Astro Nerd in the studio now ran. It was
just Brom Me an Astro Nerd talking about the lunar
eclipse that's coming up next month.
Speaker 9 (37:12):
I'm guessing he was doing most of the talk.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
I was asking about it. You know, he's got a
job write an article once a month. Last night was
a full moon.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Man.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
I was sitting down on the deck man's land.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
He's just looking at the moon.
Speaker 8 (37:25):
He looked down, he realized he was covered with hair,
and he thought he was trying toil.
Speaker 9 (37:28):
He realized that he looks like that all the.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Time and was making this sound. It's pretty scary.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Really, yeah, it tickles me.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah yeah, but uh, anyway, I had some point to
the door. I can't remember what it is right there.
Speaker 8 (37:51):
I know what it was. It was astro Nerd. Please
leave him alone. You're creeping him out, man.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, thanks, really, I always know
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Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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