January 3, 2024 • 35 mins
Weds (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Hoyt tells us just how ugly Delbert’s sister is.. - We discuss things we do in the shower - and get way too much info.. - then we’ll run down the Best of Dumb Crook News for 2023.. - and later on we’ll learn why you shouldn’t shop at the Pawn & Gun store for your wife..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yo, morning, rednecks. This is your pompatus of love.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I Turner enjoying the hell out of my retirement, drinking
molten liquor, eating vienies, and when I get to Jones
in for a cracking to go with it, I tune
into John Boy and Billy on The Big Show.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
If why I done lost my appetite for crackers? Good morning,
(00:54):
The Big Show is on the radio. I'm all that's gone.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Well, that's a new record.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
I just discussing put off my resolution to lose him
for about six more months.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
It hadn't even fully kicked in yet. He's already saying,
just push it back.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Was good eating everything, that's enough.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Oh man, it was fun, just eating everything I come
in contact with.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I don't think I've ever said this to anybody, but
damn man, look at you.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well you're sound.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
I've still got the little ropes hanging off you from
the from the parade.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Just giving up. It's hard for me to give up
dressing too. I just I'm just totally giving up. Oh,
welcome to my world. That's fine. Don't worry about that
kind of pajamas. Not doing it.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I was really worried there for you. I thought it's
gonna start coming in here naked.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
You know.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
He's talking about the big pans of dressing left over
from happin. Oh boy, you can tell holidays or Johnny
picks up the sleigh bells and throws them over us
again onto the.
Speaker 7 (01:57):
Somewhat withered tree that I vowed to leave up till easter.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
In his honor.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
You might want to water tire two. Oh no, you
don't do that.
Speaker 7 (02:05):
You wait and see all the.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Little springs fall off. I like to wait for the
first snowfall.
Speaker 8 (02:10):
Yeah, yeah, all right, yeah, you don't want to.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Peak too early? Man, Yeah right, good that we got
that out. Say you don't you feel better?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I didn't, all right, and we'll give you legs up
and played as an outburst game in minutes. Hango, good
morning to big show is on the radio. All right, Dan, Well,
let's prep for our outburst contest. If you think you
might call up and try to get through and play
listen to these days in history.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
This is where we'll get our categories, all right.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
January third, eighteen eighty eight, The wax drinking straw was
pattened by inventor Marvin Stone in Washington, d c.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
All right, call it the sucky stick.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Before Marvin's invention, sippers had to suck through straws made
out of rye, which we're off and filthy and unsanitary.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Really, you think, so, how bad do you need a straw?
I didn't want to get a milk mustache talking about
a sissy stick. You hadn't be pretty tough. Yeah, straw filthy, unsanitary, right.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
The wax straws.
Speaker 9 (03:21):
When that sissy stick thing first came in, they're like, oh,
look at him.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Really, you know when we were kids, here we go.
You know, we didn't have plastic straws, do you remember.
I mean we had the wax straw re waxed and
they'd collapsed about halfway through your coke.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh yeah, it was tough during radio.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
It was on the State nineteen fifty three, Warner Brothers
debuts two new cartoon characters, The Wolf and.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
The Sheep doll on in Ralph On It Sam.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
I liked the nineteen fifty three all right and uh,
finally on this State in nineteen sixty nine after high
Lord mcneer died at sixty three. Besides playing the Andy
Grimma shows Floyd Lost and It was also a cartoon
voice on The Jetsons and on the radio version of
gun Smoke he was Doc Adams.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, it was Doc Adams on the radio version. Is
that Isa, Isa, don you miss Key looks good today?
Speaker 10 (04:18):
Matthew you know Matthew you mean you got that cowlick?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
He goes here the doctor, not the barber.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Oh right, but there you guys who were getting our
three categories. If you would like to play one eight
hundred big show, caler nine, we'll play with you next.
Speaker 10 (05:00):
It's your on a radio? Are we?
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Are fat? People are jolly?
Speaker 11 (05:13):
Boy?
Speaker 10 (05:13):
Oh boy, uppers?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Let's play upburst.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It's the game time.
Speaker 10 (05:26):
John Boards.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Can we file announce from the book Baseball.
Speaker 10 (05:33):
Contest the number one?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
This should really be a lot of funks when you're.
Speaker 9 (05:39):
Yeah, happy up and guess time you are the best time?
Speaker 10 (05:44):
You love a big shots not shame.
Speaker 11 (05:50):
You don't welcome North We.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Shot.
Speaker 12 (06:06):
That's like you guys are partying over there.
Speaker 11 (06:13):
And I don't want to bingle.
Speaker 12 (06:14):
Song.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Boy, man, I didn't know I fat I had a song.
He's saying, Oh yeah, man, I'm the.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Learning word had his own show and every.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, So Scott, how you doing this morning? Bout it.
Speaker 12 (06:24):
Happy New Year, Happy new year, you guys do alright?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Man, everything beautiful, welcome North Carolina.
Speaker 12 (06:31):
Oh yeah, well at least my mama way worked there.
Speaker 10 (06:34):
All right.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
To Scott, let's see if you think first thing this year?
They got our three categories ready for you. Are you
ready to jump in here with number one?
Speaker 12 (06:42):
Alright?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Alrighty? Three things you put in your mouth? Ready go
RAI pomp.
Speaker 13 (06:53):
Your finger.
Speaker 12 (06:55):
And chewing gum.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Alright, a muzzard beat man, look like gotta spit something
out and looked at it.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
All right, Scott, here we go in five seconds. Three
cartoon dogs ready.
Speaker 12 (07:10):
Go oh baking on that cartoon dog.
Speaker 10 (07:17):
YadA YadA YadA, Droopy.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Yeah, underdog, underdog, underdog, droopy Spike, Scooby Doo, scrappy do
Scooby Doo, scrappy.
Speaker 11 (07:32):
Doo dooy do?
Speaker 12 (07:33):
There you go?
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Dog?
Speaker 12 (07:35):
Do I need my cup of coffee this morning?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Oh yeah, Well now you start naming them, it's easy, huh, Scot.
Hold on, I'm gonna put Jackie on you to make
you happy. All right, It's worked for many of us
around here. Good morning, the big shows.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
On the radio.
Speaker 14 (07:58):
Well will well, you've obviously got nothing better to do well.
Maybe you're just not smart enough to change the dials.
Whatever the reason, you're listening to John Boy and Billy
on The Big Show Hunt they won.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Good morning. It's a Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
John Board, Billy Pillars, Randy Jackie Studio right now?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Is this y'all from the Big Show dot Com? An email? Hey,
Big Show? How are you?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I'm a longtime listeners to The Big Show lead since
nineteen eighty seven. I was also a fan of John Boy,
got to be on a show with him when he
was broadcasting in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
In the late seventies.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
I moved in Tennessee to North Carolina and eighty seven
for North Carolina, Florida last year. I've called in one
of your contests a few times. I do have an
unusual request.
Speaker 10 (09:27):
Uhh.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Who wants to be a Millionaire?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Is taping some shows in Orlando and I would like
to try to be a contestant. Is it possible for
Billy and or Randy to be among my phone of friends?
That'd be Billy. Billy, he's the guy he selected for
the show. You guys seem to have a lot of
general trivia type knowledge as well, as some specialized technical knowledge,
(09:53):
which can be very helpful in the game. Here's what
the rules say. Under what you must bring phone of friends,
names and telephone numbers of up to five people to
be your phone a friend who will be available from
twelve noon until eight pm Eastern time on January fifteenth.
I don't think you necessarily have to be setting right
by your phone that whole time, but just generally effatable.
(10:14):
It could be good promotion for your show. If they
call you on a question, then of course I will
say that's how I know you. Anyway, Please let me
know something soon. I sure appreciate the helm now. I
don't have many other friends who know anything. Ah, thank you,
Rob Lucky at o'calla Florida So Randy.
Speaker 7 (10:30):
The only downside I see to that is that you
give the guy all your information saying reach you wherever
you are, and he calls you and you give him
bad advice and he loses. Yeah, we'll say he's got
the number where he can reach you wherever you are.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
See Rob, I'm kind of hurt and been knowing me
since the late Seventi's actually been on my show when
I was a nighttime jogging DC and I.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
Think that explains it.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
I know you apology.
Speaker 7 (10:51):
I think heshed to ask me he did he mentioned
you in the letter. He said he didn't know anybody
with it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
He smart Hello boy jeopardy? Uh you know, kind of
hurt rub.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Well they did straight their new phone of goofball.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Th I rest my case, and I don't mind taking
the chance of being wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Exactly my point. My ball came, young friend.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
He didn't get where he is today by being right.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Everybody knows that.
Speaker 10 (11:19):
So fine.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Morning to make show is on YOURREADYO for this January.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
The third is somebody has a phone over temptation trailer here.
Speaker 11 (12:04):
Man, Hello, here's hot all my life on a fighter
aunt it?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Oh man, John won't better here?
Speaker 11 (12:11):
Well, if it ain't the headless horseman, here you go
hang old driving buck scratching, knuckle dragons popping, poop, lighting,
clippingy clopping.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
He hull.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Another day on the rage, buddy, wasn't he over in
cassa day double wide?
Speaker 11 (12:31):
Well we got us a new house, guests that staying here.
Delbert's half sister Cassie showed up the other day.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Oh so it ain't broke back trailer anymore. Uh, Cassie. Now,
I don't think I ever heard you talk about her before.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
I ain't never met her before this week.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So what's she like?
Speaker 6 (12:50):
Why?
Speaker 11 (12:50):
She looks just like one of them movie stars, which
one Clyde from every which way.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
But in another word, not the Cassie kind of plain.
Speaker 11 (13:03):
Oh, ain't no kind about it, that's art. This gal's
ugly and a slap jar full of armpits man who
fright is a board on top, big old bubble butt,
strangy hair, got a face like a bulldog chewing on
a bumble bee. She ain't poo old rawbone girl. Ugly,
looks like you got pulled bickers through a not hoole,
(13:26):
had skin too, I said, Debra, what's all them red
spots on her face? He said? Ask why all the
fellas has been touching her with that ten foot pole?
Looks like the goalie for the dark team.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Cassie not a good looking woman.
Speaker 11 (13:40):
No, if Ugly was in the Olympics, she'd be the
dream team, he says. Today. She was born. The hospital
put her in an incubator with tinied winders. She used
the pup rubbery corner and feed her with a flying shot. Ugly, Yeah,
her mama used to carry around upside down and tell
everybody she didn't have but one eye.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Buzz are ours? So what's up? What's Cassie doing with
you guys?
Speaker 11 (14:06):
Scaring the oliver and snott of everybody in the trailer
park right now? Of course, we did use her face
and make a real tasty batch of them gorilla cookies yesterday.
On today, we're gonna take her down the body shop
and introduce her to old Twitch.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Who does twitch like ugly girls.
Speaker 11 (14:21):
Nobody's the best dent puller and bondo man in three states.
We're gonna see if he can do something with her. Hey,
let's not get run here, men, Deverton, Cassie Moto, is
FX you to go to work? You're gonna say, goole
letter On? Yeah, Well you tell him? I said, uh huh,
you know what you mean? Ya't keep them straight upright?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Oh, good morning, dollars. That's your old granny clump. You
know the best way to start your day. I don't
buy that crap, but a ballance breakfast listening to job
boy Belly on the Big Show is low in fact
and high in fun. And who the hell can't get
behind that Old Patrick? If tied for my spongebath.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Whoa morning, it's a big shoulder. Radio say a video
(15:46):
of the day's pretty good, Avinity.
Speaker 9 (15:48):
It's very odd. It's is the thing we're talking about
on the current MINS quiz yesterday. It's down in Brazil.
It's running on TV and it's trying to encourage people
to save water by flushing less. And their idea is
pee in the shower. And it's all these different cartoon
characters and they're dancing around peeing in the shower.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
You know, the shower is a good place to do
a lot of stuff. I sense the story. Okay, so
this isn't like the ocean?
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Is it.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Last time we talked about peeing in the ocean?
Speaker 10 (16:18):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
No, I don't know what what what side did we?
Did we ever finish? That's just gross?
Speaker 11 (16:24):
Come on.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
And then he said, well, you know, I might as
well number two. I'm not going to get out walk
all the way back.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
He did that at my house one time.
Speaker 15 (16:32):
He walked through I have to go to the bathroom,
and I said, you gotta go number two, don't you
because you'd peen my pulleys.
Speaker 10 (16:38):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That so Hanson pulled the battery out of the smoke detector.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
The board was right. There was the shower now now
tho Groes. I shave in the shower too. I brushed
my teeth in the show me too. In fact, I
made this salad.
Speaker 15 (17:13):
I like Kramer's idea with the garbage disposals. I'd say,
if it looks your face and teeth, you need to
shower more. I'm sorry, I'm glad I paid it here.
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Well,
(17:35):
here we are on January third. It is John Boy
Jeopardy Time. Let's see what we got here.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Boys. The FDA has approved or rejected thousands of drugs
over the years, but there is one very popular drug
that has never had their approval or their rejection.
Speaker 11 (17:51):
This is what it is.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
What is goofing thoughts?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Is that a real thing?
Speaker 6 (17:58):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah, you're on it?
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Yeah, gont help me lose weight? What what about just
standing between beach Billy and racing fat boy?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
You look like Twiggy? All right, well, let's let's deal
with this question about the f d GA, shall we.
What do you all think?
Speaker 4 (18:17):
One eight hundred big show? You're toll free line across America.
We'll see we're calling on go to we get a winter.
Let's do it right now in morning. There's a big
(18:51):
show on AL radio moving around a little bit, and
that is.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yes across America.
Speaker 10 (18:58):
Heads.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You're a lawn boy, alright Jeopardy.
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Good Lord, I now a man who's just been officially
approved by the FDA.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
That's the Failed Diet Association. Gee, he's John Lord.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Say hey to Debbie out of Daytona Beach, Florida. How
you doing, Debbie?
Speaker 8 (19:20):
Great?
Speaker 1 (19:22):
All right, baby welcome.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's not uh huh, it's duh.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
All right, it's full information. Well cool, maybe maybe you
win this prize packaging. Were's some stuff, so we'll recognize you. Okay,
So the question FDA has never had their approval or
rejection on this drug.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I want to say, as you say aspirin. Let's say
right off themand it's Debbie.
Speaker 9 (19:55):
Now I've heard they still don't really understand why aspen works.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
They just know it does.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
No kid won guys one.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
After all these years?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Oh how about that? So what is in aspirin? It's
made from tree tree barks, willow tree barn. Yeah you
Gibbons was right here, have a headache? Alight, of course,
he killed him. But hey, Debbie, what guys are you
bragging to? Right there? Baby kids? I'm taking them to school,
all right. Hey, Dabby's kids, Your mama is a winner.
(20:30):
Good morning everybody. The big show is right here on
the radio.
Speaker 10 (20:36):
Saves me praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated to put spil.
Speaker 10 (20:43):
On your face and a song in your heart as
long as you're body.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Their bloody grilling sauce, John Boy and Hilly on the
big show face and beg everybody.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
But he shows all the radio John Bone, Billy, there's
mister Peeler's over there.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Haw's everything on your ranch riage every Well.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Now that I'm peeing in the shower, back on the
water Bill, you don't do anything in the shower.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, I'm very seldom, babe. Just notice you're setting a
good distance away. So you know what I like every
once in a while, a bubble bath? I bet you do.
We'll try to figure that out for it.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
Is that with soap or is that just making he
just gets buried and driving a lot bard around the
bar t flakes and then they get out there with that.
Speaker 9 (22:02):
And if I know you, you make the little bubble bath,
baseball cap and giant goatee too well.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
A lot of times he's making the bubbles himself too,
eat some beans, jumping.
Speaker 11 (22:13):
The tub.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Lead. Oh ya, just can't picture me enjoying a simple pleasure.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
We don't know why I picture that.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You know I can, And that's why I'm stopped eating lunch.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
To that.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Picture, like Ernie in the bathtub, up in the bubbles.
And this reminds me of something's been on my mind
for a while. I'm about half hot.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
See ilis commercials when they're in the tub now okay,
now here it is.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Be ready whenever, whenever the time.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
You know they can take one a day, or take
one it last where you know, like three or four
days around thirty eight our however like that? And then
who is gonna get with your woman? Drag a couple
of single tubs out on the hill, fill them up
with right and go out there and set in them
and hold hands the whole production.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Who wants to go through that?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
And you know, sex and a tub that doesn't work?
Give me something I can use, just waiting.
Speaker 6 (23:11):
For it to kick in, baby, not even in the
same game. And then what it's like commercial I've never
seen a talking listen to my whole dam just don't
make no damn sense, speak English dot.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
We drag a couple of tubs out there and set
in the tub, not even together.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Maybe this is why you're having performance problems.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You're tired out and caveman.
Speaker 10 (23:45):
There's no cave there.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
But then roll a toilet paper out by the tree.
I've never seen that in my life. You can paint
a bathtub to you.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
And then then the one of them to drag them
go to an island to get a boat ride over
to like they're very old island.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
You know, they go in and the curtains door himself.
Speaker 10 (24:08):
Who's from that rotator cuff problem?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Well, I don't want to picture them. Old fart's doing
it anyway. Well, you know they get in there and
they see that Matt reruns forget if you experience a
sudden decrease in vision, that's.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Yeah, honey, are you standing in all the times Mama's
been telling it, how make it go?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Blind's vision? And back in November that election lasted longer
than four hours.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Now, good morning, the Big Show is on your radio.
(25:11):
About ten away from the hour. It's time for dumb
cook News. The best or worse. Well, three men stripped down,
that's just their shoes and hats and streaked through a
Denny's restaurant in Spokane, Washington.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Maybe that'd worked for us before we kick off our dives.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
It'd probably end up about.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Like this story. You know, they don't call it streaking
when you're standing in lying to get a sound.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Well, the trio had left their car running outside when
you were a quick getaway. But while they were inside
putting on their show, a thief hopped in the car
and drove off with a streaker's clothes. The men shivered
outside in twenty degree cold until police arrived breakage. The
restaurant owner declined to press charges, as he figured they
(26:04):
suffered enough. A nineteen year old Chicago man suffered head
injuries after being hit by a fire hydrant cap. The
man removed the cap from the hydrant and lit a
powerful M one hundred firecracker underneath it.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
See what would happen? So what happened?
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Well, when the explosive detonated, the cap shot up into
the air, then came back down and.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Laid it on the manse.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Tulsa, Oklahoma man ran through a red light in full
view of a police officer when he spotted the blue lights.
The motorists hit the gas and led the cob on
adjacent speeds up to one hundred miles an hour. After
a few minutes, the suspect came to a highway toll plaza.
Instead of running through without paying, the man pulled up
to the booth, stopped, and was fumbling for the correct change.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
When the officer arrested it.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Hey Toms River, New Jersey man it was scheduled to
be sent us in a million dollar money ering schemes.
Kippt his hearing to play poker in Las Vegas, but
says he was just trying to do the right thing.
On the day of his sentencing, the man facts the
judge and said he was in Vegas playing in the
World Series of Poker to win restitution money for his victims.
(27:19):
He claimed to be up by about five thousand dollars
so far well. The judge postponed the man's sentencing hearing
and issued.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
A warrant for his immediate.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
The man robbed a bank in Cleveland, Ohio, and got
away with a couple thousand dollars in cash. During the getaway,
the money became stained deep red due to an exploding
die pack hidden in the back well. The suspect headed
immediately to a nearby laundromat, but he didn't stuff the
cash into a washing machine. Instead, he fed the loot
one bill at a time into the store's electronic bill
(27:53):
changer genius. This stuff that converted coinage into his pants
land began to unravel when a police officer pulled up outside.
The suspect took off across a parking lot, dropping quarters
as he ran. The officer nabbed him with twenty three
pounds of quarters and a wad of ink stained bills
(28:13):
in his pocket. After successfully acting as his own attorney
in two criminal cases, a seabring, Florida man lost his
third case at charge of larceny for stealing law books
from the courthouse library. The man says he stole the
books to prepare his defense for the first two crimes.
Police in Amherst, New York, responded to a report of
(28:36):
a car accident to find both of the car's occupants
unconscious in the back seat. Police say the man and
his wife had gotten into an argument on the way
home from a restaurant. The man stopped the car, punched
his wife in the face and continued on his way home,
still beating her. When the woman climbed into the back
seat to avoid the blows, the husband climbed over the
(28:56):
seat to continue the beating.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Of the car was still moved.
Speaker 11 (29:00):
Man he was mad.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Leoko ran off the road into a clump of bushes,
and the couple were treated and released at a local hospital.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And finally, the.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Chicago man, who had spent several minutes admiring the display
window at a jewelry store, decided to smash the window
and grab some trinkets. The man knew the thick glass
would be tough to break, so he pried the one
hundred pound cover off a nearby manhole and used it
to smash the window. After cleaning out the display and
stuffing the jewelry into his pockets, the man turned to
(29:30):
make a run for it and fell into the open manhole.
If you got dumb croukd news, I feel like it's
going to be a manner year mal it to John
Boyd Billy Dumb Crook news Ko Box seventy six sixty
three Charlotte and c.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Two eight two four one, and we'd appreciate it. Dear diary.
Speaker 13 (29:55):
This is Gary.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Beaucy. I as the Weirdest dream.
Speaker 13 (30:01):
The other night I was duct taped to an examination
table while a bunch of metal patients were mumbling gibberish
into my ear. Yo, yo, y'all. Turns out it weren't
no dream. I was just listening to wordy word on
the Big Show with John Boy and Billy. Someone needs
to heard those losers into the not okay corral.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Yeah, good morning.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
It's a big show on the radio, all right from
our Hey, y'all watch his apartment.
Speaker 9 (31:00):
It's from cotton Patch, Arkansas. Two local men were seriously
injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck
a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway thirty eight
on early Monday morning. Thurston Pool of Day's Arc and
Billy ray Wallace of Little Rocker listed in serious condition
at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two
(31:21):
men were returning after a frog gigging trip. Okay, that's
the first red flag, you know, some terrible is going
to have On an overcast Sunday night, Pool's pickup truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men decided the headlight fuse on
the older model truck had burned out as the replacement
fuse was not available. Wallace noticed that the twenty two
caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse
(31:44):
box next to the steering column, so he inserted the bullet.
The headlights again began to operate properly, and the two
men proceeded on eastbound towards the White River Bridge after
they had traveled approximately twenty miles. Just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, yes discharge and struck pool in
the right testicle.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Ooh, as you can imagine, the.
Speaker 9 (32:07):
Vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exited the pavement, and
struck a tree. Pool suffered minor cuts and abrasions from
the accent, but of course he will require surgery to repair.
The other woman Wallace meanwhile, sustain a broken clavical and
was treated and released. Wallace said, thank god, what wasn't
on the bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off?
Speaker 8 (32:27):
Where might both be dead? You gotta love these police
reports from Markans. I like the in fact, the guy's
name is Thurston. I can't think you to Thurston.
Speaker 16 (32:39):
Hout out.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
I've been a trooper for ten years in this part
of the world.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
But this is a first for me.
Speaker 9 (32:47):
I can't believe those two would admit how this accident happened,
said the trooper. But here is the ps the resistance.
Upon being notified to the wreck, Lavigna Pool's wife asked
how many frogs the boys had caught, and also wanted
to know did anyone get them out of the truck?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
So the guys get home twenty two bullet used for
fuse goes off bam.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
In the in the new nude, and then.
Speaker 16 (33:15):
How many frogs y'all catch you? They might get a
truck frog. I told you he's gonna forget the sandwiches.
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Hey,
John boy, the next time you cut a really long one,
say if I would have choked it, I think I
(33:37):
would have started.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
All right, that'll keep your female for a while. Ahi,
y'all we coming up on the current events quiz. That
is the easiest way for you to join the winter
I did. Hang on, We'll play a minutes. Good morning,
(34:14):
the big show is on a radio.
Speaker 16 (34:16):
You ready go?
Speaker 10 (34:18):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (34:22):
W quiz? Say hey, let's say hey to mark outa Columbia,
South Carolina.
Speaker 12 (34:32):
Go your morning, Mark, Come on, tell me how's everybody
doing this morning?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Your buddy? You alright, man?
Speaker 11 (34:37):
Doing great?
Speaker 12 (34:38):
I must be real lucky because in fifteen years I've
only gotten through twice and both times has been conned.
Best cuss Are you God.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
To keep you a straight alive? Mark? Listen to bitny buddy?
Speaker 9 (34:48):
All right, well, Mark, The producers of the TV quiz
show Jeopardy have just announced a big money super tournament.
Speaker 11 (34:54):
Now.
Speaker 9 (34:54):
One hundred and fifty of the show's five time winners
will compete in the Super Tournament, and the two finalists
will take on all time champ Ken Jennings in a
big money playoff. This may rumor is Jennings may have
his work cut out for him this time around, because
among the Super Tournament brainbuster categories is a Einstein's Unified
(35:14):
Field Theory be Applied, Quantum mechanics, or see things a
Mormon guy from Salt Lake can do for fun with
two million bucks.
Speaker 12 (35:26):
Well, I'm gonna go to my first NS I had
last time. I'll take sea again.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Alright, Mark, We'll give you a free membership to the
Big show now, not to but tailgain he came and
getting BC powder.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Add that to your booty, buddy,
Yo, morning, rednecks. This is your pompatus of love.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I Turner enjoying the hell out of my retirement, drinking
molten liquor, eating vienies, and when I get to Jones
in for a cracking to go with it, I tune
into John Boy and Billy on The Big Show.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
If why I done lost my appetite for crackers? Good morning,
(00:54):
The Big Show is on the radio. I'm all that's gone.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Well, that's a new record.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
I just discussing put off my resolution to lose him
for about six more months.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
It hadn't even fully kicked in yet. He's already saying,
just push it back.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Was good eating everything, that's enough.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Oh man, it was fun, just eating everything I come
in contact with.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I don't think I've ever said this to anybody, but
damn man, look at you.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well you're sound.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
I've still got the little ropes hanging off you from
the from the parade.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Just giving up. It's hard for me to give up
dressing too. I just I'm just totally giving up. Oh,
welcome to my world. That's fine. Don't worry about that
kind of pajamas. Not doing it.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I was really worried there for you. I thought it's
gonna start coming in here naked.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
You know.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
He's talking about the big pans of dressing left over
from happin. Oh boy, you can tell holidays or Johnny
picks up the sleigh bells and throws them over us
again onto the.
Speaker 7 (01:57):
Somewhat withered tree that I vowed to leave up till easter.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
In his honor.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
You might want to water tire two. Oh no, you
don't do that.
Speaker 7 (02:05):
You wait and see all the.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Little springs fall off. I like to wait for the
first snowfall.
Speaker 8 (02:10):
Yeah, yeah, all right, yeah, you don't want to.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Peak too early? Man, Yeah right, good that we got
that out. Say you don't you feel better?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I didn't, all right, and we'll give you legs up
and played as an outburst game in minutes. Hango, good
morning to big show is on the radio. All right, Dan, Well,
let's prep for our outburst contest. If you think you
might call up and try to get through and play
listen to these days in history.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
This is where we'll get our categories, all right.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
January third, eighteen eighty eight, The wax drinking straw was
pattened by inventor Marvin Stone in Washington, d c.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
All right, call it the sucky stick.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Before Marvin's invention, sippers had to suck through straws made
out of rye, which we're off and filthy and unsanitary.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Really, you think, so, how bad do you need a straw?
I didn't want to get a milk mustache talking about
a sissy stick. You hadn't be pretty tough. Yeah, straw filthy, unsanitary, right.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
The wax straws.
Speaker 9 (03:21):
When that sissy stick thing first came in, they're like, oh,
look at him.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Really, you know when we were kids, here we go.
You know, we didn't have plastic straws, do you remember.
I mean we had the wax straw re waxed and
they'd collapsed about halfway through your coke.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh yeah, it was tough during radio.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
It was on the State nineteen fifty three, Warner Brothers
debuts two new cartoon characters, The Wolf and.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
The Sheep doll on in Ralph On It Sam.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
I liked the nineteen fifty three all right and uh,
finally on this State in nineteen sixty nine after high
Lord mcneer died at sixty three. Besides playing the Andy
Grimma shows Floyd Lost and It was also a cartoon
voice on The Jetsons and on the radio version of
gun Smoke he was Doc Adams.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, it was Doc Adams on the radio version. Is
that Isa, Isa, don you miss Key looks good today?
Speaker 10 (04:18):
Matthew you know Matthew you mean you got that cowlick?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
He goes here the doctor, not the barber.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Oh right, but there you guys who were getting our
three categories. If you would like to play one eight
hundred big show, caler nine, we'll play with you next.
Speaker 10 (05:00):
It's your on a radio? Are we?
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Are fat? People are jolly?
Speaker 11 (05:13):
Boy?
Speaker 10 (05:13):
Oh boy, uppers?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Let's play upburst.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It's the game time.
Speaker 10 (05:26):
John Boards.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Can we file announce from the book Baseball.
Speaker 10 (05:33):
Contest the number one?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
This should really be a lot of funks when you're.
Speaker 9 (05:39):
Yeah, happy up and guess time you are the best time?
Speaker 10 (05:44):
You love a big shots not shame.
Speaker 11 (05:50):
You don't welcome North We.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Shot.
Speaker 12 (06:06):
That's like you guys are partying over there.
Speaker 11 (06:13):
And I don't want to bingle.
Speaker 12 (06:14):
Song.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Boy, man, I didn't know I fat I had a song.
He's saying, Oh yeah, man, I'm the.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Learning word had his own show and every.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, So Scott, how you doing this morning? Bout it.
Speaker 12 (06:24):
Happy New Year, Happy new year, you guys do alright?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Man, everything beautiful, welcome North Carolina.
Speaker 12 (06:31):
Oh yeah, well at least my mama way worked there.
Speaker 10 (06:34):
All right.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
To Scott, let's see if you think first thing this year?
They got our three categories ready for you. Are you
ready to jump in here with number one?
Speaker 12 (06:42):
Alright?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Alrighty? Three things you put in your mouth? Ready go
RAI pomp.
Speaker 13 (06:53):
Your finger.
Speaker 12 (06:55):
And chewing gum.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Alright, a muzzard beat man, look like gotta spit something
out and looked at it.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
All right, Scott, here we go in five seconds. Three
cartoon dogs ready.
Speaker 12 (07:10):
Go oh baking on that cartoon dog.
Speaker 10 (07:17):
YadA YadA YadA, Droopy.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Yeah, underdog, underdog, underdog, droopy Spike, Scooby Doo, scrappy do
Scooby Doo, scrappy.
Speaker 11 (07:32):
Doo dooy do?
Speaker 12 (07:33):
There you go?
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Dog?
Speaker 12 (07:35):
Do I need my cup of coffee this morning?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Oh yeah, Well now you start naming them, it's easy, huh, Scot.
Hold on, I'm gonna put Jackie on you to make
you happy. All right, It's worked for many of us
around here. Good morning, the big shows.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
On the radio.
Speaker 14 (07:58):
Well will well, you've obviously got nothing better to do well.
Maybe you're just not smart enough to change the dials.
Whatever the reason, you're listening to John Boy and Billy
on The Big Show Hunt they won.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Good morning. It's a Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
John Board, Billy Pillars, Randy Jackie Studio right now?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Is this y'all from the Big Show dot Com? An email? Hey,
Big Show? How are you?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I'm a longtime listeners to The Big Show lead since
nineteen eighty seven. I was also a fan of John Boy,
got to be on a show with him when he
was broadcasting in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
In the late seventies.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
I moved in Tennessee to North Carolina and eighty seven
for North Carolina, Florida last year. I've called in one
of your contests a few times. I do have an
unusual request.
Speaker 10 (09:27):
Uhh.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Who wants to be a Millionaire?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Is taping some shows in Orlando and I would like
to try to be a contestant. Is it possible for
Billy and or Randy to be among my phone of friends?
That'd be Billy. Billy, he's the guy he selected for
the show. You guys seem to have a lot of
general trivia type knowledge as well, as some specialized technical knowledge,
(09:53):
which can be very helpful in the game. Here's what
the rules say. Under what you must bring phone of friends,
names and telephone numbers of up to five people to
be your phone a friend who will be available from
twelve noon until eight pm Eastern time on January fifteenth.
I don't think you necessarily have to be setting right
by your phone that whole time, but just generally effatable.
(10:14):
It could be good promotion for your show. If they
call you on a question, then of course I will
say that's how I know you. Anyway, Please let me
know something soon. I sure appreciate the helm now. I
don't have many other friends who know anything. Ah, thank you,
Rob Lucky at o'calla Florida So Randy.
Speaker 7 (10:30):
The only downside I see to that is that you
give the guy all your information saying reach you wherever
you are, and he calls you and you give him
bad advice and he loses. Yeah, we'll say he's got
the number where he can reach you wherever you are.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
See Rob, I'm kind of hurt and been knowing me
since the late Seventi's actually been on my show when
I was a nighttime jogging DC and I.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
Think that explains it.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
I know you apology.
Speaker 7 (10:51):
I think heshed to ask me he did he mentioned
you in the letter. He said he didn't know anybody
with it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
He smart Hello boy jeopardy? Uh you know, kind of
hurt rub.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Well they did straight their new phone of goofball.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Th I rest my case, and I don't mind taking
the chance of being wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Exactly my point. My ball came, young friend.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
He didn't get where he is today by being right.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Everybody knows that.
Speaker 10 (11:19):
So fine.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Morning to make show is on YOURREADYO for this January.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
The third is somebody has a phone over temptation trailer here.
Speaker 11 (12:04):
Man, Hello, here's hot all my life on a fighter
aunt it?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Oh man, John won't better here?
Speaker 11 (12:11):
Well, if it ain't the headless horseman, here you go
hang old driving buck scratching, knuckle dragons popping, poop, lighting,
clippingy clopping.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
He hull.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Another day on the rage, buddy, wasn't he over in
cassa day double wide?
Speaker 11 (12:31):
Well we got us a new house, guests that staying here.
Delbert's half sister Cassie showed up the other day.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Oh so it ain't broke back trailer anymore. Uh, Cassie. Now,
I don't think I ever heard you talk about her before.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
I ain't never met her before this week.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So what's she like?
Speaker 6 (12:50):
Why?
Speaker 11 (12:50):
She looks just like one of them movie stars, which
one Clyde from every which way.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
But in another word, not the Cassie kind of plain.
Speaker 11 (13:03):
Oh, ain't no kind about it, that's art. This gal's
ugly and a slap jar full of armpits man who
fright is a board on top, big old bubble butt,
strangy hair, got a face like a bulldog chewing on
a bumble bee. She ain't poo old rawbone girl. Ugly,
looks like you got pulled bickers through a not hoole,
(13:26):
had skin too, I said, Debra, what's all them red
spots on her face? He said? Ask why all the
fellas has been touching her with that ten foot pole?
Looks like the goalie for the dark team.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Cassie not a good looking woman.
Speaker 11 (13:40):
No, if Ugly was in the Olympics, she'd be the
dream team, he says. Today. She was born. The hospital
put her in an incubator with tinied winders. She used
the pup rubbery corner and feed her with a flying shot. Ugly, Yeah,
her mama used to carry around upside down and tell
everybody she didn't have but one eye.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Buzz are ours? So what's up? What's Cassie doing with
you guys?
Speaker 11 (14:06):
Scaring the oliver and snott of everybody in the trailer
park right now? Of course, we did use her face
and make a real tasty batch of them gorilla cookies yesterday.
On today, we're gonna take her down the body shop
and introduce her to old Twitch.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Who does twitch like ugly girls.
Speaker 11 (14:21):
Nobody's the best dent puller and bondo man in three states.
We're gonna see if he can do something with her. Hey,
let's not get run here, men, Deverton, Cassie Moto, is
FX you to go to work? You're gonna say, goole
letter On? Yeah, Well you tell him? I said, uh huh,
you know what you mean? Ya't keep them straight upright?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Oh, good morning, dollars. That's your old granny clump. You
know the best way to start your day. I don't
buy that crap, but a ballance breakfast listening to job
boy Belly on the Big Show is low in fact
and high in fun. And who the hell can't get
behind that Old Patrick? If tied for my spongebath.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Whoa morning, it's a big shoulder. Radio say a video
(15:46):
of the day's pretty good, Avinity.
Speaker 9 (15:48):
It's very odd. It's is the thing we're talking about
on the current MINS quiz yesterday. It's down in Brazil.
It's running on TV and it's trying to encourage people
to save water by flushing less. And their idea is
pee in the shower. And it's all these different cartoon
characters and they're dancing around peeing in the shower.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
You know, the shower is a good place to do
a lot of stuff. I sense the story. Okay, so
this isn't like the ocean?
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Is it.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Last time we talked about peeing in the ocean?
Speaker 10 (16:18):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
No, I don't know what what what side did we?
Did we ever finish? That's just gross?
Speaker 11 (16:24):
Come on.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
And then he said, well, you know, I might as
well number two. I'm not going to get out walk
all the way back.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
He did that at my house one time.
Speaker 15 (16:32):
He walked through I have to go to the bathroom,
and I said, you gotta go number two, don't you
because you'd peen my pulleys.
Speaker 10 (16:38):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That so Hanson pulled the battery out of the smoke detector.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
The board was right. There was the shower now now
tho Groes. I shave in the shower too. I brushed
my teeth in the show me too. In fact, I
made this salad.
Speaker 15 (17:13):
I like Kramer's idea with the garbage disposals. I'd say,
if it looks your face and teeth, you need to
shower more. I'm sorry, I'm glad I paid it here.
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Well,
(17:35):
here we are on January third. It is John Boy
Jeopardy Time. Let's see what we got here.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Boys. The FDA has approved or rejected thousands of drugs
over the years, but there is one very popular drug
that has never had their approval or their rejection.
Speaker 11 (17:51):
This is what it is.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
What is goofing thoughts?
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Is that a real thing?
Speaker 6 (17:58):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah, you're on it?
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Yeah, gont help me lose weight? What what about just
standing between beach Billy and racing fat boy?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
You look like Twiggy? All right, well, let's let's deal
with this question about the f d GA, shall we.
What do you all think?
Speaker 4 (18:17):
One eight hundred big show? You're toll free line across America.
We'll see we're calling on go to we get a winter.
Let's do it right now in morning. There's a big
(18:51):
show on AL radio moving around a little bit, and
that is.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yes across America.
Speaker 10 (18:58):
Heads.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You're a lawn boy, alright Jeopardy.
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Good Lord, I now a man who's just been officially
approved by the FDA.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
That's the Failed Diet Association. Gee, he's John Lord.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Say hey to Debbie out of Daytona Beach, Florida. How
you doing, Debbie?
Speaker 8 (19:20):
Great?
Speaker 1 (19:22):
All right, baby welcome.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's not uh huh, it's duh.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
All right, it's full information. Well cool, maybe maybe you
win this prize packaging. Were's some stuff, so we'll recognize you. Okay,
So the question FDA has never had their approval or
rejection on this drug.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I want to say, as you say aspirin. Let's say
right off themand it's Debbie.
Speaker 9 (19:55):
Now I've heard they still don't really understand why aspen works.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
They just know it does.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
No kid won guys one.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
After all these years?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Oh how about that? So what is in aspirin? It's
made from tree tree barks, willow tree barn. Yeah you
Gibbons was right here, have a headache? Alight, of course,
he killed him. But hey, Debbie, what guys are you
bragging to? Right there? Baby kids? I'm taking them to school,
all right. Hey, Dabby's kids, Your mama is a winner.
(20:30):
Good morning everybody. The big show is right here on
the radio.
Speaker 10 (20:36):
Saves me praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated to put spil.
Speaker 10 (20:43):
On your face and a song in your heart as
long as you're body.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Their bloody grilling sauce, John Boy and Hilly on the
big show face and beg everybody.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
But he shows all the radio John Bone, Billy, there's
mister Peeler's over there.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Haw's everything on your ranch riage every Well.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Now that I'm peeing in the shower, back on the
water Bill, you don't do anything in the shower.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, I'm very seldom, babe. Just notice you're setting a
good distance away. So you know what I like every
once in a while, a bubble bath? I bet you do.
We'll try to figure that out for it.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
Is that with soap or is that just making he
just gets buried and driving a lot bard around the
bar t flakes and then they get out there with that.
Speaker 9 (22:02):
And if I know you, you make the little bubble bath,
baseball cap and giant goatee too well.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
A lot of times he's making the bubbles himself too,
eat some beans, jumping.
Speaker 11 (22:13):
The tub.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Lead. Oh ya, just can't picture me enjoying a simple pleasure.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
We don't know why I picture that.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You know I can, And that's why I'm stopped eating lunch.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
To that.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Picture, like Ernie in the bathtub, up in the bubbles.
And this reminds me of something's been on my mind
for a while. I'm about half hot.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
See ilis commercials when they're in the tub now okay,
now here it is.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Be ready whenever, whenever the time.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
You know they can take one a day, or take
one it last where you know, like three or four
days around thirty eight our however like that? And then
who is gonna get with your woman? Drag a couple
of single tubs out on the hill, fill them up
with right and go out there and set in them
and hold hands the whole production.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Who wants to go through that?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
And you know, sex and a tub that doesn't work?
Give me something I can use, just waiting.
Speaker 6 (23:11):
For it to kick in, baby, not even in the
same game. And then what it's like commercial I've never
seen a talking listen to my whole dam just don't
make no damn sense, speak English dot.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
We drag a couple of tubs out there and set
in the tub, not even together.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Maybe this is why you're having performance problems.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You're tired out and caveman.
Speaker 10 (23:45):
There's no cave there.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
But then roll a toilet paper out by the tree.
I've never seen that in my life. You can paint
a bathtub to you.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
And then then the one of them to drag them
go to an island to get a boat ride over
to like they're very old island.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
You know, they go in and the curtains door himself.
Speaker 10 (24:08):
Who's from that rotator cuff problem?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Well, I don't want to picture them. Old fart's doing
it anyway. Well, you know they get in there and
they see that Matt reruns forget if you experience a
sudden decrease in vision, that's.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Yeah, honey, are you standing in all the times Mama's
been telling it, how make it go?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Blind's vision? And back in November that election lasted longer
than four hours.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Now, good morning, the Big Show is on your radio.
(25:11):
About ten away from the hour. It's time for dumb
cook News. The best or worse. Well, three men stripped down,
that's just their shoes and hats and streaked through a
Denny's restaurant in Spokane, Washington.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Maybe that'd worked for us before we kick off our dives.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
It'd probably end up about.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Like this story. You know, they don't call it streaking
when you're standing in lying to get a sound.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Well, the trio had left their car running outside when
you were a quick getaway. But while they were inside
putting on their show, a thief hopped in the car
and drove off with a streaker's clothes. The men shivered
outside in twenty degree cold until police arrived breakage. The
restaurant owner declined to press charges, as he figured they
(26:04):
suffered enough. A nineteen year old Chicago man suffered head
injuries after being hit by a fire hydrant cap. The
man removed the cap from the hydrant and lit a
powerful M one hundred firecracker underneath it.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
See what would happen? So what happened?
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Well, when the explosive detonated, the cap shot up into
the air, then came back down and.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Laid it on the manse.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Tulsa, Oklahoma man ran through a red light in full
view of a police officer when he spotted the blue lights.
The motorists hit the gas and led the cob on
adjacent speeds up to one hundred miles an hour. After
a few minutes, the suspect came to a highway toll plaza.
Instead of running through without paying, the man pulled up
to the booth, stopped, and was fumbling for the correct change.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
When the officer arrested it.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Hey Toms River, New Jersey man it was scheduled to
be sent us in a million dollar money ering schemes.
Kippt his hearing to play poker in Las Vegas, but
says he was just trying to do the right thing.
On the day of his sentencing, the man facts the
judge and said he was in Vegas playing in the
World Series of Poker to win restitution money for his victims.
(27:19):
He claimed to be up by about five thousand dollars
so far well. The judge postponed the man's sentencing hearing
and issued.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
A warrant for his immediate.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
The man robbed a bank in Cleveland, Ohio, and got
away with a couple thousand dollars in cash. During the getaway,
the money became stained deep red due to an exploding
die pack hidden in the back well. The suspect headed
immediately to a nearby laundromat, but he didn't stuff the
cash into a washing machine. Instead, he fed the loot
one bill at a time into the store's electronic bill
(27:53):
changer genius. This stuff that converted coinage into his pants
land began to unravel when a police officer pulled up outside.
The suspect took off across a parking lot, dropping quarters
as he ran. The officer nabbed him with twenty three
pounds of quarters and a wad of ink stained bills
(28:13):
in his pocket. After successfully acting as his own attorney
in two criminal cases, a seabring, Florida man lost his
third case at charge of larceny for stealing law books
from the courthouse library. The man says he stole the
books to prepare his defense for the first two crimes.
Police in Amherst, New York, responded to a report of
(28:36):
a car accident to find both of the car's occupants
unconscious in the back seat. Police say the man and
his wife had gotten into an argument on the way
home from a restaurant. The man stopped the car, punched
his wife in the face and continued on his way home,
still beating her. When the woman climbed into the back
seat to avoid the blows, the husband climbed over the
(28:56):
seat to continue the beating.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Of the car was still moved.
Speaker 11 (29:00):
Man he was mad.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Leoko ran off the road into a clump of bushes,
and the couple were treated and released at a local hospital.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And finally, the.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Chicago man, who had spent several minutes admiring the display
window at a jewelry store, decided to smash the window
and grab some trinkets. The man knew the thick glass
would be tough to break, so he pried the one
hundred pound cover off a nearby manhole and used it
to smash the window. After cleaning out the display and
stuffing the jewelry into his pockets, the man turned to
(29:30):
make a run for it and fell into the open manhole.
If you got dumb croukd news, I feel like it's
going to be a manner year mal it to John
Boyd Billy Dumb Crook news Ko Box seventy six sixty
three Charlotte and c.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Two eight two four one, and we'd appreciate it. Dear diary.
Speaker 13 (29:55):
This is Gary.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Beaucy. I as the Weirdest dream.
Speaker 13 (30:01):
The other night I was duct taped to an examination
table while a bunch of metal patients were mumbling gibberish
into my ear. Yo, yo, y'all. Turns out it weren't
no dream. I was just listening to wordy word on
the Big Show with John Boy and Billy. Someone needs
to heard those losers into the not okay corral.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Yeah, good morning.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
It's a big show on the radio, all right from
our Hey, y'all watch his apartment.
Speaker 9 (31:00):
It's from cotton Patch, Arkansas. Two local men were seriously
injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck
a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway thirty eight
on early Monday morning. Thurston Pool of Day's Arc and
Billy ray Wallace of Little Rocker listed in serious condition
at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two
(31:21):
men were returning after a frog gigging trip. Okay, that's
the first red flag, you know, some terrible is going
to have On an overcast Sunday night, Pool's pickup truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men decided the headlight fuse on
the older model truck had burned out as the replacement
fuse was not available. Wallace noticed that the twenty two
caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse
(31:44):
box next to the steering column, so he inserted the bullet.
The headlights again began to operate properly, and the two
men proceeded on eastbound towards the White River Bridge after
they had traveled approximately twenty miles. Just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, yes discharge and struck pool in
the right testicle.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Ooh, as you can imagine, the.
Speaker 9 (32:07):
Vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exited the pavement, and
struck a tree. Pool suffered minor cuts and abrasions from
the accent, but of course he will require surgery to repair.
The other woman Wallace meanwhile, sustain a broken clavical and
was treated and released. Wallace said, thank god, what wasn't
on the bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off?
Speaker 8 (32:27):
Where might both be dead? You gotta love these police
reports from Markans. I like the in fact, the guy's
name is Thurston. I can't think you to Thurston.
Speaker 16 (32:39):
Hout out.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
I've been a trooper for ten years in this part
of the world.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
But this is a first for me.
Speaker 9 (32:47):
I can't believe those two would admit how this accident happened,
said the trooper. But here is the ps the resistance.
Upon being notified to the wreck, Lavigna Pool's wife asked
how many frogs the boys had caught, and also wanted
to know did anyone get them out of the truck?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
So the guys get home twenty two bullet used for
fuse goes off bam.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
In the in the new nude, and then.
Speaker 16 (33:15):
How many frogs y'all catch you? They might get a
truck frog. I told you he's gonna forget the sandwiches.
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Hey,
John boy, the next time you cut a really long one,
say if I would have choked it, I think I
(33:37):
would have started.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
All right, that'll keep your female for a while. Ahi,
y'all we coming up on the current events quiz. That
is the easiest way for you to join the winter
I did. Hang on, We'll play a minutes. Good morning,
(34:14):
the big show is on a radio.
Speaker 16 (34:16):
You ready go?
Speaker 10 (34:18):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (34:22):
W quiz? Say hey, let's say hey to mark outa Columbia,
South Carolina.
Speaker 12 (34:32):
Go your morning, Mark, Come on, tell me how's everybody
doing this morning?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Your buddy? You alright, man?
Speaker 11 (34:37):
Doing great?
Speaker 12 (34:38):
I must be real lucky because in fifteen years I've
only gotten through twice and both times has been conned.
Best cuss Are you God.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
To keep you a straight alive? Mark? Listen to bitny buddy?
Speaker 9 (34:48):
All right, well, Mark, The producers of the TV quiz
show Jeopardy have just announced a big money super tournament.
Speaker 11 (34:54):
Now.
Speaker 9 (34:54):
One hundred and fifty of the show's five time winners
will compete in the Super Tournament, and the two finalists
will take on all time champ Ken Jennings in a
big money playoff. This may rumor is Jennings may have
his work cut out for him this time around, because
among the Super Tournament brainbuster categories is a Einstein's Unified
(35:14):
Field Theory be Applied, Quantum mechanics, or see things a
Mormon guy from Salt Lake can do for fun with
two million bucks.
Speaker 12 (35:26):
Well, I'm gonna go to my first NS I had
last time. I'll take sea again.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Alright, Mark, We'll give you a free membership to the
Big show now, not to but tailgain he came and
getting BC powder.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Add that to your booty, buddy,
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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