March 23, 2020 • 44 mins
We might be isolated, but we’re here. In this special C&C episode, we’re sharing some resources, ideas, feelings, and encouragement that we hope will help during this challenging and uncertain time of COVID-19. While we don't know what tomorrow or even the next hour looks like, we do know we can get through it together. If anyone can, it's this community of Human Venn Diagrams.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Limit Does Not Exist is a production of I
Heart Radio. Hey, I'm Christina Wallace and I'm Kate Scott
Campbell and you're listening to The Limit does Not Exist,
a podcast for human then Diagrams, coming at you every
(00:21):
single week and hosted by us Hi Friends, Hi Friends.
It is a strange and uncertain time in the world
right now. Um, we are in a pandemic. We are isolated.
For those of us with kids, we are having to
(00:43):
learn how to work and take care of them at
the same time, and everything fills up in the air
with no known endpoint. Yeah, and while we all might
be socially distant, we are grateful for the opportunity to
connect with you through our voices and your ears. You know.
(01:08):
It's really something that we don't take lightly ever, especially
right now. Absolutely, and it's why we are recording this
special episode at eight am Pacific eleven am Eastern on
March eighth. Is it Wednesday? I think it's Wednesday. Yeah,
it's Wednesday. We we think that's important to mention since
(01:31):
the world might look a lot different when we release
this episode in a few days. That's right, it might
look a lot different in an hour. Generally we record
episodes weeks in advance, just letting you in on our
process a little bit, so this one will probably sound different.
Shout out to Maya for the quick turnaround. Thanks Maya,
Thank you. What's important to us is that you know
(01:55):
that we're here. So we're going to share some resources,
some ideas, our feelings, a word of encouragement maybe that
we hope will help, and we may not know what
tomorrow we'll bring, but we know we can get through
it together. That's right. You know, we don't know what
to do. I think no one really knows what to do.
(02:17):
But you know, if anyone can roll with the punches
and navigate uncertainty, it's this community of human ben diagrams.
This is usually where we'd say let's jump in, shall we?
And then our theme music would pop back in. But
that even that feels kind of weird right now, Christina,
Let's just keep going, shall we? Yeah, let's do that. Kate,
(02:42):
how are you? Oh? I mean, how do I answer
that question? You know? Like, I'll give an answer and
probably in thirty seconds I'll feel differently. Um. Maybe an
easier one is where am I am on the floor
right now of of this house? That I've been renting
(03:05):
for the last year, and by myself. I do have Rosie,
which is wonderful. Rosie is my seven pound poodle, the
cutest dog ever. She's she's you know, she's my little angel.
I feel like she is carrying more emotion than any
any animal of her size should carry right now. And
(03:28):
she's like She'll just start sort of shaking at random times,
and I'm like, oh, same, right, well, she is like
this little mirror to me. She's like this little sponge
and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm not doing a
good job of faking it in front of you. Rosy,
Am I not that I need to? How how are you?
(03:51):
I mean, ah, I'm in six square feet with my
husband and my baby. How's New York apartments were not
designed to spend a lot of time in. Um, we
don't have a yard. You know, We've got Prospect Park
pretty close by, and I have been able to get outside.
(04:13):
I went for a a two mile walk this morning
with Art and went down there's like a little wooded
area in the park and people are smart, they're keeping
their distance. But you know, normally something like that would
like fill my well and I'd be great for you know,
the rest of the day, and I think my solitude
and happiness and then lasted like forty two minutes and
(04:36):
then I came back and, um, my husband has a
phone voice. I have a phone voice. They're they're very loud,
and um, and Arta needed to go down for a nap,
and Chass is on the phone and his work is
so important. He's like on the emergency management team for
the city. Like he's doing such important work right now.
(04:58):
So I feel like I have no right to ever interrupted.
And so because both things can be true. His work
can be important and it can be very very difficult
to navigate around for you and like, you know, we
were getting ready for us to record this episode. In
the middle of this, a person I like very much.
(05:18):
Usually the calls he's running for Congress and he's asking
for a donation, and they like started, you know, getting
phone number area codes that look like the area code
you're in, because you know, people are more likely to
pick up. Because all the time just like went off
on him, and he probably deserved maybe of that frustration. Um,
(05:43):
but the rest of it was just it was all
me And I hung up feeling terrible and thinking like Wow. Okay,
so that moment of zen is gone already, and you
know it's eleven am and I have a full day ahead.
So um, yeah, I'm trying to find the gratitude. I'm happy,
(06:06):
I'm healthy, my family is healthy and you know, staying inside.
We have food, we have FaceTime to see each other. Um,
I'm trying to find the gratitude and then it like
sometimes it takes me down dark places, right Like I'm
grateful that my life insurance policy got approved a few
(06:27):
weeks ago. Yeah, Grateful that Chad and I have a
living will and a directive for who's going to take
care of our baby if something happens to us. Like,
I am grateful for those things, and then I start
thinking about them and everything just feels really overwhelming. And
it's really hard to shake that off once I go
down that path, you know, I do. I do. I
(06:49):
Mean the reason that I posted a little video of
like dancing in the kitchen with Rosy last night is
because I couldn't sleep and I was like, what do
I do? Let put on music that usually helps me,
just some comforting music you living alone? Yeah, I mean
that would be really hard. No, it is, you know,
(07:10):
I think that times like this, and I say that
in quotes because this is we've never experienced this before,
but challenging times. Maybe it's a better way to say that,
just have a way of shining a spotlight on everything,
you know, especially things that you maybe try to um
(07:31):
by you I can only speak for myself, but maybe
try to just like gloss over, you know. And yeah,
it's how do I say this. I'm both like a
very decided optimist and I'm a very very strong em path,
and so I've been having to be really sort of
(07:54):
careful with myself and just like really graceful with myself
because I do UM, I do want to sort of
take everything on um mentally and emotionally and for myself. Yeah,
living by myself is something that I've been doing for
the last year and a half, and working from home
is something that I've been doing for quite some time.
(08:14):
But yeah, it's it's definitely felt very very lonely UM
at a lot of times, like it's it's very easy
to like notice that I, UM, While I'm very grateful
that I have my parents and my brother and sister
in law they're up in the Bay Area, and that
they have food, and they're okay. Like in terms of
(08:37):
my own family that I have cultivated, that's rosie and
like that's so again, I'm really working to be grateful that,
like I currently have food. It's a really random hodge
bonch of things. I'm kind of calling it my picnic
spread because basically what I could get at the stores
(08:58):
like salami and cheese and some roadus. But that's like
that's great, you know. Um yeah, I'm grateful that my
parents have food. Um. You know, that was like a
whole morning where I was like, do I go up there?
Even though Shelter in Place is happening up in the
Bay Area, Like what do I do? You know? Um?
(09:20):
So yeah, I think it's like absolutely normal and okay
to feel absolutely opposite emotions, um, at the same time
and right next to each other. And I think what
I've been trying to do is just give myself grace
and kind of try to mom myself in a really
(09:40):
gentle way and be like, you know, it's okay for me,
Like it's both things can happen. I can both work
to find the silver lining and help lift other people up,
and I can just like really cry it out for
a while you know, and it's important sheat mask and
(10:01):
then mask. Yeah, I emerge from this with the best
skin of my I have a sheet mask so and
I've been like waiting to use it, but today is
the day. Yeah, I think it might be. I'm also
like digging out all of my travel size moisturizer and
(10:21):
lotions and I am not going to have Ashley skin.
At the very least I can be hydrated and moisturized.
Oh my gosh, shopping the medicine cabinet is such a
great idea. Like I've been shopping my refrigerator to like
I have created very creative meals for myself. I mean
I ate a salad last night, Like if you know
(10:43):
that salad is not my top five favorite foods, and
I was like, this arugula is going to go bad,
and right now I can't afford for food to spoil,
So no eating a salad, that's right. I mean, I
was shopping my freezer. I have never squealed old so
loudly is to find seven frozen shrimp left in there.
(11:03):
I was like, oh my gosh, this changes everything. That
is very exciting. Instead of like the only shrimp that's
left of the store is like the forty dollar pack,
which is why people are buying it. You know, I
have some Reese's peanut butter cups in the freezer that
I'm trying to forget about until the moment that is
so desperate that I need them. And then the kind
(11:26):
of self discipline that I am I just need to
give so much respect to. This is such a I
don't want to say unfortunate time to be a freelancer
or some who pieces together income from a lot of
different places, but but it is certainly a challenging time
(11:47):
for that. UM. You know, if you are suddenly finding
yourself entirely unemployed or I think like me and probably
like you, projects that were slated to go ahead maybe
around pause, yeah, the unforeseeable future. UM. We wanted to
pull some some tools and resources that we've seen so far.
(12:09):
We'll link to these in our show notes. UM, and
you know, if you guys come across any other ones
and want to tweet them at us, we will be
amplify and you know, continue adding to the show notes
as as things come online. But yes, you found this
incredible list of resources for the arts. UM. What this
(12:31):
is a great exhaustive list and certainly not exhaustive, but
it's robust from Creative Capital. I think they're based in
New York. But yeah, I mean I think everyone just
heard me audibly sigh into the microphone, because, like you said, Christina,
I do have some work happening right now, but people
(12:52):
very close to me have no work for the foreseeable future,
and so there are resources that people are calling to
get there. They may be band aids, but you know,
it's something. And so this list, which uh I shared
on our Instagram stories as well, and by the way,
tag us on Instagram too. We'll just keep a highlight
(13:15):
going of resources UM up in our highlights as well
as on Twitter and our website. But this lists a
lot of great UM relief funds and it's being continually updated,
so everything from emergency grants to you know, general types
of of resources like for example, I sent my brother
(13:38):
one last night for musicians who are currently out of
work because tours or events have gotten UM shutdowns. So
you know, I think it's definitely worth clicking on the link,
and then from there there's many other things too click
on and see if you apply. Yeah, but Christina, you
found also something for New York small businesses too. Yeah,
(14:00):
so New York City is offering uh small businesses that
have fewer than a hundred employees zero interest loans of
up to seventy right now, which is really quite lovely.
And for you know, micro businesses, those with you know,
five or fewer employees. Um, they're offering grants to cover
(14:23):
of payroll costs for the next two months in order
to um, you know, keep you from having to layoff employees.
So um we will link to both of those as
well as um. You know, there's a fund that we found,
convert Kit Creators Fund. They're giving micro grants. I know
(14:44):
their initial bulk of money has all all been depleted,
but I think um people have started to see that
they're a great kind of clearing house for these grants,
and more people are donating. So I would, um, you know,
head that way, add your name to the list. You
might not get it right away, but as they fundraise more,
I think there's going to be more available. UM. So
(15:08):
check that out. That's for childcare, groceries, medical bills or five.
Um it's you know, below the taxable income whatever, so um,
so they can just give it free and clear. So
check that out. That's great, you know, honestly, just UM,
file for unemployment. That's kind of the number one UH.
(15:28):
If you're eligible, file for it. A lot of states
are waiving the UH investigation period or the waiting period.
Usually it's like ten days or so after you file. UM.
A lot of states are waiving that, so you can
start getting unemployment checks right away. UM. And you know,
there's there's talk of lots of different ways the government,
either state or federal might step in. They've pushed back
(15:52):
the tax filing deadline by ninety days, so you've got
an extra three months on your taxes. I mean, obviously
this is a highly UH you've evolving situation, right, but
I would say, UM, these are a couple of places
to start. And I am optimistic that, um, even though
we don't have a strong social safety net in this country,
(16:13):
that individuals are not going to let their neighbors go
hungry or get kicked out of their homes. And I
I hope and I believe that this is going to
bond us stronger because people realize that we need everyone
in our community to have a base level of safety
and security and health. If we want to have that
(16:34):
for ourselves. I think what's helpful for resource like this
creative capitalist is I certainly know, having worked off of
ten and nine's for so long, filing for unemployment is
not necessarily an option. If you don't have W two's,
it can be really difficult to um even qualify for
things like this, So I think it's really worth clicking through,
(16:58):
looking through, asking friends and colleagues. I think for me, certainly,
the freelance mentality has been one of well, I don't
have a corporation backing me up. You know, I don't
have certain infrastructure, and it can feel like when work
goes away, there are no options. Um. But I'm very
(17:19):
happy to see that they're popping up now. Again, they're
not going to necessarily match the income that's been coming in,
but um, I think the message is that you're not alone.
If we can say anything, it's that there's other creative
(17:55):
things being shared to like, for example, we all know
that south By Southwest was unsold. Many screenings theaters are closed. Um.
There's some resources on this creative capitalist, like how to
plan a virtual event on video if you're screening got canceled,
how to host a watch party on Facebook for schools
(18:15):
for um different companies or brands or even individuals where
you might have planned something that needs multiple people to
look at it. We all know that we can't outsmart
the market, and in this case, the market being every
sense of that word right Like I can't get an
acting job right now because auditions aren't happening and production
(18:39):
is shut down. I know that, So I'm not going
to try to outsmart the circumstances there. That's not the message.
But I think we're starting to see ways that people
are finding to shift and to approach problems from new angles.
You know, could you offer an online class for visibility?
Could you schedule FaceTime coffee chats if you're currently seeking
(19:02):
new lines of work and no one wants to have
actual coffee with you? Can you shine up your portfolio?
Not putting pressure on yourself to know how to crack this,
That's not what I'm saying, but starting to kind of
maybe be open to ways of navigating it for those
of us with children. Yes, I've been seeing some delightfully
(19:27):
well intentioned tweets and Instagram post of people pointing out
that Shakespeare wrote King Lear during a lockdown God, that
Isaac Newton had his miracle year where he uh you know,
discovered calculus, developed the theory of gravity, had this incredibly
productive year, and um, I am grateful for the for
(19:52):
the responses to those well intentioned tweets pointing out that
Shakespeare abandoned his children and had his wife raised them
while he went off to write, and Isaac Newton was celibate.
So I would like to bring the pressure down from
emerging from this with the next because I'm not going
(20:15):
to know. Um, I am going to emerge from this,
hopefully with most of my hair and a fair amount
of of my sanity and maybe of the work product
that I would have gotten done in the same time period.
(20:37):
And I have it easy. I have a four month
old who doesn't talk all day long, who can't move
on her own, yet she can roll on her side,
can't even roll all the way over. Uh, and we
only have one between two parents. Like that's the ideal
situation with children. If you are outnumbered by your children,
(20:58):
or if they are talking your off, or if they
need you know, constant supervision or you know, need help
with school. Uh, homeschooling is like a whole other thing. Um,
this is gonna be who this is going to be
a challenge, so I just want to bring the pressure down.
We don't expect every single person to emerge from this.
(21:20):
We don't expect literally anyone to emerge from this with
the next King lear Okay, yeah, oh my god, absolutely
say that. And I think it's a really good time
to say, like, if we mentioned something that that you
find is like a helpful point of view or rasturs awesome,
if we mentioned something that's like not, that's also awesome,
(21:40):
Like that's also fine. The thing is, everyone's circumstances are
so so different. So yes, yeah, we don't say the
effort on our show, but like screw King lear M,
as they say on The Good Place fork that for that. Yeah,
(22:01):
and I think you know, to your point, Christina, to
like on the topic of working from home, any advice
that I could give is going to be like really small, basic. Again,
I want to what do they say instead of the
sah word on a good play short short, we're just talking.
(22:22):
I honestly find that there is this like inverse proportion
of like when things are really hard, it's sometimes the
tiniest ship that can help, right, Like for example, uh,
Patty Kim who's this natural path who I follow, who's
based in l A. Like she had this post that
was like put socks on, and I was like, oh.
(22:44):
She's like it's actually like from an Eastern medicine standpoint,
like it actually boost immunity. But it's also like, yeah,
keep your feet warm, you know. Yeah. And while that
seems so small, um, those little things, Like my mom
used to say this thing to me when I was
spiraling down an anxiety spiral, where she would go like, hey, Kate,
(23:07):
just like go outside and notice what color is the sky?
Like she would ask me. She'd be like, what color
is the sky? And I'd be like, oh, I don't.
I don't care, you know, like I don't know, like
my life is in shambles, you know. She's like, just
go out and notice, and I'd be like, well, it's
it's blue. She's like, wow, isn't that interesting? Like that
little thing. I can certainly speak to working from home
(23:31):
as an individual, realizing that it's not including working from
home with children. I mean, what's your Do you have
any insights on that from doing it? So far? Yea,
so so far. It's just you're setting the expectation with
everyone in your life that like, this is going to
be messy. So I was on a FaceTime or a
zoom work call yesterday with a bunch of writers in
(23:54):
l A And in the middle of it, my baby
had a meltdown, and so I had to pick her
up and take her back and hold her with one
arm and keep her past fire in with the other
hand and rock her back and forth while talking about
cashlow statements. Um, And like, I think that probably would
(24:15):
have been mortifying in a previous life would be like,
oh my god, it feels so unprofessional. Um. And now
I don't care. Uh. And you know, and I'm doing
this while wearing like a crop top and my pajama pants,
and I don't care. I know some people say, like
get up, put on real clothes, shower, put on a bra.
Like that's not reality for me right now. It might
(24:36):
be in two weeks when I can't tell morning from night,
but right now reality is like, uh, is my hair
pulled back? Do I have a shirt on before I
get on my zoom call? Because I'm still breastfeeding and
sometimes I'm not wearing a shirt. Um, the waist down
really doesn't matter for the zoom call. So you're good.
There doesn't unless you're getting up and moving during the
(24:59):
call and not it does. I did do that yesterday,
so that's it. And then I would say, as someone
who doesn't have a backyard, keep your windows open. Get
fresh air as much as you can, even if it
makes your apartment a little chili right now, put on
extra layers, put on those socks. But get fresh air.
And then you know, in the moments when you can
sneak outside, go for a walk, do what you need to.
(25:21):
Try to do it every little bit, I think feels
like it makes a difference. And the same sort of
physical activity, like I'm planking in the middle of my
living room and doing wall sits and like trying to
find ways to stay some way active because just sitting,
like we were never designed to sit six eighteen hours
a day. Yeah, no, it's it's true. You know. We'll
(25:43):
we'll link to a couple of articles with different resources
and tips for working from home. What I would say,
you know, is for me, trying to keep some little
tiny routine things like even and that's very different from
like needing things to be orderly, Like those are two
different things, and I want to make that clearer, because
(26:04):
I think the most important message is just taking the
pressure off. You may start to hear rosie makes sounds
right now because she's right here by me. Hold up, um,
but just like take pressure off for it to look
any certain way other than what is manageable for you
at this point. But certainly like tiny things like for me,
if I know that I can, like when I went
(26:28):
to the store, I was able to get coffee and
I got it because I know that for me, just
making that cup of coffee makes me feel like, Okay,
there's some routine in my day. I have a friend
who is working from home and she's just trying to
close her laptop to eat lunch, even if that's five minutes, uh,
if it can be longer, right, yeah, Like do things
(26:50):
like take a real lunch, if you can take regular
screen breaks, even if you have to set an alarm
on your phone to go, okay just at you know,
fifty five on the hour. If I can, I'm going
to just take a screen break setting something like a
bedtime alarm, which if you have kids, that piece of
advice may not be helpful whatsoever, but um, you know,
(27:12):
trying to just set yourself up for success. Like I know,
for me, even before I go to bed. Now, some
nights I'm just like collapsing into bed whatever. Right, I
don't get this right every time, but sometimes, like if
I can clean my workspace so that when I wake
up in the morning it's in some semblance of order,
Little things like that can help me, you know, sort
(27:34):
of segmenting my day like for example, and I even
did this when I lived in a sixteen by nine
apartment in New York. Like even just like changing locations
was helpful for me, even if it meant going from
the floor to the chair back to the floor, right, Like,
if that was my option, that definitely helped m sure
(27:55):
my head space. My favorite tip right now, if anyone
has Zoom, if they're doing call specifically on a Zoom platform,
you can go into your settings and there is a
check box that applies basically it's a beauty filter. It's
like an Instagram beauty filter, so you can and then
(28:16):
instead of you having to put on makeup. I'm not joking,
I've done this. I will do you putting on makeup.
The technology applies it for you. Hashtag You're welcome. That
is a hero A modern day hero whoever, whoever designed that.
But yeah, I think you know, I think that. Yeah,
(28:37):
the point is do what works for you. Like for me,
I realized that I did want to start putting genes
and a braw on just because it was like helping
my emotional state to do that. So but for you,
you may be like, oh, I'm going full like comfy.
There's no right here. I mean right now, right now,
(28:59):
that's where I am. So as much as it's important
to figure out how to work from home, I also
(29:20):
want to talk about what to do when you're not working,
because this is the one you know, this is the
hardest thing for people who work from home period, is
like there are no boundaries in your day or there
it can feel like there are no boundaries. And I
think in the middle of this right now, we're even
more prone to that because certainly, when I'm working, I'm
not thinking about this and and so I don't want
(29:43):
this to suddenly become the thing that you're working all
the time to avoid scrolling Twitter. Um So, my favorite
thing to do in the last few days is face
time at least one person, and I've been doing lots
of people every single day. Need to talk to a
human who is not my husband or my daughter, um,
(30:04):
every day and uh, in particular, doing like group happy
hour with some of the women in my professional network
where we all just get on and we're drinking our
drink of choice, which could be water hydrate all day
and um and just checking in, you know, with each
other and and keeping those social connections strong even when
(30:26):
we're having to keep our physical connections quite distant. Yes, yes,
such an important point. You know, connecting with others is
just it's so essential for mental health and knowing that
even if you are isolated, which so many of us are,
you're not alone. And you know, it's not easy to
(30:48):
reach out for everybody, like it's not. On both sides
of that, it can be difficult to reach out to
offer help and know what to say that's even going
to be helpful, and it can be difficult to ask
for help. And what sort of helped me with that
is to just take a pause and go like, what
would be helpful if someone could offer it to me
(31:09):
right now, or what might bring me comfort? And how
can I kind of pass that on to somebody else?
And I think I've just been so grateful for even
just a little quick emoji text or a hello from
people that I haven't heard from for quite some time. Um.
And then other friends have gotten more creative, like I
(31:31):
have set up FaceTime drink dates, and a friend invited
me to a Skype book club. A friend of mine
last night just did her own Instagram live of excuse me.
I just have like a coffee throat um of of
reading out of her diary and like just honestly being
(31:52):
in my kitchen by myself at ten o'clock at night
and listening to Annie like read about her hopes and
dreams in her twenty These just gave me a lot
of comfort. I really did. I thought it was a
really clever idea. I love that I have a number
of friends who are amazing cooks who are offering remote
not cooking lessons per se, but like recipe consulting. They're
(32:18):
basically like, show me what you have in your in
your cupboard, and I will help you figure out what
to make for dinner that is not just like the
bare minimum, but it's actually nourishing and you know, actually
feeds you. So I've really appreciate it. I mean, lucky
for me, Chaz cooks. So this is not a thing
I need, but I appreciate that, like, this could be
(32:42):
very hard. I mean, I think about a lot of
New Yorkers, like, we don't cook for the most part. Um,
it's just the thing that a lot of folks do.
And so suddenly relying on yourself to make three meals
a day for a very long time from raw ingredients
is is it can feel overwhelming and I think you
(33:02):
don't want to Like, I love pop tarts, but you
can't eat them three meals a day. So um, I've
really appreciated the people offering kind of nourishment and sustenance
via kind of cooking advice. Well, I think I think
that's great. My friend Rachel has an Instagram account called
Virtual Cooking Club, and she's been doing this for a
while where she'll just cook a recipe on a Sunday night,
(33:25):
but she's been offering things like, um, similarly recipes with
limited ingredients. Um. Also she's been offering resources for if
you can't get like I know at my grocery store,
I can't get the kinds of proteins or even pasta
or rice that I would normally get and um. She
(33:45):
shared the fact that a lot of small local restaurants
and businesses are doing special care packages and deliveries. There's
a taco place in l A that's doing this package
of just like some basic meats and tortillas and a
pack of toilet paper, which is awesome. So yeah, so
I think it's also about thinking like what are what
(34:09):
are things that I could share? I know I'm just
really leaning on my online friends right now and really
love hearing just any input people have. I think that's
when I find hope in social media instead of and
you know, I agree, And I think a big part
for me right now is is going beyond the scrolling
(34:31):
and the liking and the commenting, but actually getting to
the talking again, whether phone or video. I think for
a lot of my relationships, especially post baby, you have
that kind of benefit of the asynchronicity. Uh you know,
I'm I'm scrolling at three in the morning while I'm
(34:52):
nursing and they can see my comment whenever they wake up,
and there is some benefit to that. But I think
right now there's something really magical about connecting in real time. Yeah,
So returning to the and it's not like you don't
know where they are, they're sitting at home. Yeah, yeah,
that's right. Returning to like the phone call, the meandering
(35:14):
two hour long phone call um for gen Z, that's
where you pick up the phone and you call someone.
It might feel really scary at first, by promise you're
going to be super used to it by the end
of this there is this free pass, and not even
a free pass, like a real need to just reach out,
you know. And and I think it's really great to
(35:35):
kind of just go through your contact list and think, like,
who can I just say hi to, Who can I
set up something with? Who might be absolutely by themselves
right now? You know, I know every time I hear
from a friend it's not just Rosie, and that means
so much to me, It really does. UM. I think
it's also really important to mention that mental health can
(35:57):
be absolutely is affected by the US, right and so
reaching out in an even uh more pointed way to
things like mental health hotlines or a therapy even if
it's just trying out a therapy app, or an app
like grid Diary where you can just track your mood
(36:17):
and from day to day and just sort of touch
base with how you are, because there's just a lot
to carry right now. And if you find yourself wandering
around your house having really dark thoughts, which I know
I have so been prone to, and we all are
in a way, I think it's um, it's really uh
(36:41):
okay and high Rosie. Rosie's like, yeah, she has guys,
she's been wandering arout well. So I also want to
emphasize this is especially true for anyone who's in recovery.
So if you are sober, if you are UM in
you know, an eating disorder recovery, isolation is a thing
(37:04):
that can can undo so much of the work that
you have put into that recovery. So I've seen so
many resources pop up on my feeds of friends who
are offering to be sponsors, to check in with folks,
to do distance meetings. So UM, I think, in particular,
(37:25):
before you feel like you're spiraling, if you know you're
in one of those categories, if you know you're vulnerable
to this, find a support, reach out to a community
now before it gets um more challenging. Yeah, I will
share a link to this resource. UM that the National
Alliance on Mental Illness posted the table of contents of
(37:46):
their guide has things like I'm having a lot of
anxiety because of the coronavirus, please help and they have
insights for that. Or I'm feeling lonely and isolated even further,
what can I do? I don't have health insurance or
very their doctor. How can I get care? Will absolutely
share to that, And again I think it's also it
(38:08):
makes connecting with others reaching out more important than than ever.
So also on the resource side, Uh, there's a lot
of sort of great things popping up the people are providing,
and just to share a few of them and please
continue to share those kinds of things with us. Like
(38:29):
there's this yoga app that I really enjoy called the
down Dog App. They're offering completely free yoga through the
app until at least April one. So if you need
some guidance doing you know, a down dog or something else, Um,
that's great. My friend Sarah has a dance studio and
I like called mob HQ and they're offering free dance classes.
(38:50):
I watched a hip hop class last night. It was
very very life giving. I mean there's even um like
social choirs pop up. I saw one yesterday. I was
too late to join, which made me very sad. But
you know, having thirty forty sixty people all join from
their couch and doing singalongs, which are super messy because
(39:12):
of the latency, the lag time in you know, video chat.
But it doesn't matter. That's not the point. You're getting
all these people singing you know, lean on me together
from their sofas. Um. And uh, you know, I think
there are so many resources like that. I know that
the twenty four Hour Play project has been posting some
really great content, and Opera is making their you know,
(39:35):
HD recordings free their their site. There there's so many, um,
I think amazing arts and other organizations kind of making
content available, making resources available. So the less time you
spend scrolling Twitter and reading the news quite frankly, and
the more time you do literally anything else, um, the
(39:59):
better I think you're going to feel. And I say
that out loud as a reminder to myself. Yeah. And
I would also say, like on the topic of like,
do not put any pressure on yourself to write the
next King Lear or theory of gravity if you are
finding that you're spending your extra downtime, if you have
any at all, but if you're spending time worrying or
(40:22):
scrolling or ruminating, um, something that's been helpful for me
that I just started doing is like I've made a
list of activities that I could do instead, because I
think when I'm in a moment of just like really
ruminating about the state of the world, it's hard for
me to know think of anything else to do, you know,
So even just like some of these resources that we
(40:43):
might share, like just putting on your list. Oh, I
could watch part of an opera. That's something I could do.
Or I could clean the drunk the drunk drawer. That's amazing,
I could clean the drunk drawer. Or the more my
house is as clean as it's ever been because I
(41:07):
have been like Q tipping the crumbs out from the toaster. Yeah,
totally to like. So so maybe like have a little
running list of This is not a to do list.
This is just an option list. If I find myself
and it can do room in my head, it's a
can do list. Yeah, and that's not to like, it's
(41:31):
so easy for overwhelmed, which we have talked about on
our show episode one oh six. Um, it's so easy
for that to like just move itself to different things.
So it would be very easy to feel overwhelmed by
like wanting to take advantage of all these free resources
that are popping up right now. Right. This is not
that try one at the most, like get a C
(41:54):
minus right now, like pass, but do not try to
get an A anyway pass if you can, and you can,
we believe in you. I like it. I like it.
I mean the big takeaway right now is to be
kind to yourself and to others. Right everyone is processing
this differently, and we're all processing it differently from one
(42:17):
hour to the next. That's right, And there's a lot,
um there's a lot that we don't know still, and
that can feel I can feel really overwhelming. So UM,
I guess my advice to you is drink water and
wash your hands for twenty seconds all the birthday. Please
(42:38):
reach out to us at any time. We we really
love to know how you're doing, and we'd love to
know how you're coping, what resources you're finding, helpful, emergency
funds you've heard about, or just send us a quick
hello from the social distance. UM. As always, you can
reach us on Twitter or Instagram at t l d
(42:58):
n E Pod where you can eat mel us at
Hello at t LDNY podcast dot com or if you
want to use that phone. You can leave us a
voicemail at eight three three Hi t L d n E.
That's eight three three five three six three, and then
you'll dial eight oh three to get us. YEP. We
would love to hear your voices, and as we mentioned,
(43:20):
will link to everything that we talked about and ongoing
things certainly on both of our Instagram and Twitter accounts
as we move forward. You can find all of the
links to this episode specifically at t l DNY podcast
dot com slash one. Thanks so much to our producer
(43:47):
Maya Coole and to you for tuning in. As always,
please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts if you
like what you heard. It really helps us get the
word out to fellow human ven diagrams. Until next time,
remember bur The Limit does not exist. The Limit does
(44:08):
not Exist is a production of I Heart Radio. For
more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the i heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows. Yeah
The Limit Does Not Exist is a production of I
Heart Radio. Hey, I'm Christina Wallace and I'm Kate Scott
Campbell and you're listening to The Limit does Not Exist,
a podcast for human then Diagrams, coming at you every
(00:21):
single week and hosted by us Hi Friends, Hi Friends.
It is a strange and uncertain time in the world
right now. Um, we are in a pandemic. We are isolated.
For those of us with kids, we are having to
(00:43):
learn how to work and take care of them at
the same time, and everything fills up in the air
with no known endpoint. Yeah, and while we all might
be socially distant, we are grateful for the opportunity to
connect with you through our voices and your ears. You know.
(01:08):
It's really something that we don't take lightly ever, especially
right now. Absolutely, and it's why we are recording this
special episode at eight am Pacific eleven am Eastern on
March eighth. Is it Wednesday? I think it's Wednesday. Yeah,
it's Wednesday. We we think that's important to mention since
(01:31):
the world might look a lot different when we release
this episode in a few days. That's right, it might
look a lot different in an hour. Generally we record
episodes weeks in advance, just letting you in on our
process a little bit, so this one will probably sound different.
Shout out to Maya for the quick turnaround. Thanks Maya,
Thank you. What's important to us is that you know
(01:55):
that we're here. So we're going to share some resources,
some ideas, our feelings, a word of encouragement maybe that
we hope will help, and we may not know what
tomorrow we'll bring, but we know we can get through
it together. That's right. You know, we don't know what
to do. I think no one really knows what to do.
(02:17):
But you know, if anyone can roll with the punches
and navigate uncertainty, it's this community of human ben diagrams.
This is usually where we'd say let's jump in, shall we?
And then our theme music would pop back in. But
that even that feels kind of weird right now, Christina,
Let's just keep going, shall we? Yeah, let's do that. Kate,
(02:42):
how are you? Oh? I mean, how do I answer
that question? You know? Like, I'll give an answer and
probably in thirty seconds I'll feel differently. Um. Maybe an
easier one is where am I am on the floor
right now of of this house? That I've been renting
(03:05):
for the last year, and by myself. I do have Rosie,
which is wonderful. Rosie is my seven pound poodle, the
cutest dog ever. She's she's you know, she's my little angel.
I feel like she is carrying more emotion than any
any animal of her size should carry right now. And
(03:28):
she's like She'll just start sort of shaking at random times,
and I'm like, oh, same, right, well, she is like
this little mirror to me. She's like this little sponge
and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm not doing a
good job of faking it in front of you. Rosy,
Am I not that I need to? How how are you?
(03:51):
I mean, ah, I'm in six square feet with my
husband and my baby. How's New York apartments were not
designed to spend a lot of time in. Um, we
don't have a yard. You know, We've got Prospect Park
pretty close by, and I have been able to get outside.
(04:13):
I went for a a two mile walk this morning
with Art and went down there's like a little wooded
area in the park and people are smart, they're keeping
their distance. But you know, normally something like that would
like fill my well and I'd be great for you know,
the rest of the day, and I think my solitude
and happiness and then lasted like forty two minutes and
(04:36):
then I came back and, um, my husband has a
phone voice. I have a phone voice. They're they're very loud,
and um, and Arta needed to go down for a nap,
and Chass is on the phone and his work is
so important. He's like on the emergency management team for
the city. Like he's doing such important work right now.
(04:58):
So I feel like I have no right to ever interrupted.
And so because both things can be true. His work
can be important and it can be very very difficult
to navigate around for you and like, you know, we
were getting ready for us to record this episode. In
the middle of this, a person I like very much.
(05:18):
Usually the calls he's running for Congress and he's asking
for a donation, and they like started, you know, getting
phone number area codes that look like the area code
you're in, because you know, people are more likely to
pick up. Because all the time just like went off
on him, and he probably deserved maybe of that frustration. Um,
(05:43):
but the rest of it was just it was all
me And I hung up feeling terrible and thinking like Wow. Okay,
so that moment of zen is gone already, and you
know it's eleven am and I have a full day ahead.
So um, yeah, I'm trying to find the gratitude. I'm happy,
(06:06):
I'm healthy, my family is healthy and you know, staying inside.
We have food, we have FaceTime to see each other. Um,
I'm trying to find the gratitude and then it like
sometimes it takes me down dark places, right Like I'm
grateful that my life insurance policy got approved a few
(06:27):
weeks ago. Yeah, Grateful that Chad and I have a
living will and a directive for who's going to take
care of our baby if something happens to us. Like,
I am grateful for those things, and then I start
thinking about them and everything just feels really overwhelming. And
it's really hard to shake that off once I go
down that path, you know, I do. I do. I
(06:49):
Mean the reason that I posted a little video of
like dancing in the kitchen with Rosy last night is
because I couldn't sleep and I was like, what do
I do? Let put on music that usually helps me,
just some comforting music you living alone? Yeah, I mean
that would be really hard. No, it is, you know,
(07:10):
I think that times like this, and I say that
in quotes because this is we've never experienced this before,
but challenging times. Maybe it's a better way to say that,
just have a way of shining a spotlight on everything,
you know, especially things that you maybe try to um
(07:31):
by you I can only speak for myself, but maybe
try to just like gloss over, you know. And yeah,
it's how do I say this. I'm both like a
very decided optimist and I'm a very very strong em path,
and so I've been having to be really sort of
(07:54):
careful with myself and just like really graceful with myself
because I do UM, I do want to sort of
take everything on um mentally and emotionally and for myself. Yeah,
living by myself is something that I've been doing for
the last year and a half, and working from home
is something that I've been doing for quite some time.
(08:14):
But yeah, it's it's definitely felt very very lonely UM
at a lot of times, like it's it's very easy
to like notice that I, UM, While I'm very grateful
that I have my parents and my brother and sister
in law they're up in the Bay Area, and that
they have food, and they're okay. Like in terms of
(08:37):
my own family that I have cultivated, that's rosie and
like that's so again, I'm really working to be grateful that,
like I currently have food. It's a really random hodge
bonch of things. I'm kind of calling it my picnic
spread because basically what I could get at the stores
(08:58):
like salami and cheese and some roadus. But that's like
that's great, you know. Um yeah, I'm grateful that my
parents have food. Um. You know, that was like a
whole morning where I was like, do I go up there?
Even though Shelter in Place is happening up in the
Bay Area, Like what do I do? You know? Um?
(09:20):
So yeah, I think it's like absolutely normal and okay
to feel absolutely opposite emotions, um, at the same time
and right next to each other. And I think what
I've been trying to do is just give myself grace
and kind of try to mom myself in a really
(09:40):
gentle way and be like, you know, it's okay for me,
Like it's both things can happen. I can both work
to find the silver lining and help lift other people up,
and I can just like really cry it out for
a while you know, and it's important sheat mask and
(10:01):
then mask. Yeah, I emerge from this with the best
skin of my I have a sheet mask so and
I've been like waiting to use it, but today is
the day. Yeah, I think it might be. I'm also
like digging out all of my travel size moisturizer and
(10:21):
lotions and I am not going to have Ashley skin.
At the very least I can be hydrated and moisturized.
Oh my gosh, shopping the medicine cabinet is such a
great idea. Like I've been shopping my refrigerator to like
I have created very creative meals for myself. I mean
I ate a salad last night, Like if you know
(10:43):
that salad is not my top five favorite foods, and
I was like, this arugula is going to go bad,
and right now I can't afford for food to spoil,
So no eating a salad, that's right. I mean, I
was shopping my freezer. I have never squealed old so
loudly is to find seven frozen shrimp left in there.
(11:03):
I was like, oh my gosh, this changes everything. That
is very exciting. Instead of like the only shrimp that's
left of the store is like the forty dollar pack,
which is why people are buying it. You know, I
have some Reese's peanut butter cups in the freezer that
I'm trying to forget about until the moment that is
so desperate that I need them. And then the kind
(11:26):
of self discipline that I am I just need to
give so much respect to. This is such a I
don't want to say unfortunate time to be a freelancer
or some who pieces together income from a lot of
different places, but but it is certainly a challenging time
(11:47):
for that. UM. You know, if you are suddenly finding
yourself entirely unemployed or I think like me and probably
like you, projects that were slated to go ahead maybe
around pause, yeah, the unforeseeable future. UM. We wanted to
pull some some tools and resources that we've seen so far.
(12:09):
We'll link to these in our show notes. UM, and
you know, if you guys come across any other ones
and want to tweet them at us, we will be
amplify and you know, continue adding to the show notes
as as things come online. But yes, you found this
incredible list of resources for the arts. UM. What this
(12:31):
is a great exhaustive list and certainly not exhaustive, but
it's robust from Creative Capital. I think they're based in
New York. But yeah, I mean I think everyone just
heard me audibly sigh into the microphone, because, like you said, Christina,
I do have some work happening right now, but people
(12:52):
very close to me have no work for the foreseeable future,
and so there are resources that people are calling to
get there. They may be band aids, but you know,
it's something. And so this list, which uh I shared
on our Instagram stories as well, and by the way,
tag us on Instagram too. We'll just keep a highlight
(13:15):
going of resources UM up in our highlights as well
as on Twitter and our website. But this lists a
lot of great UM relief funds and it's being continually updated,
so everything from emergency grants to you know, general types
of of resources like for example, I sent my brother
(13:38):
one last night for musicians who are currently out of
work because tours or events have gotten UM shutdowns. So
you know, I think it's definitely worth clicking on the link,
and then from there there's many other things too click
on and see if you apply. Yeah, but Christina, you
found also something for New York small businesses too. Yeah,
(14:00):
so New York City is offering uh small businesses that
have fewer than a hundred employees zero interest loans of
up to seventy right now, which is really quite lovely.
And for you know, micro businesses, those with you know,
five or fewer employees. Um, they're offering grants to cover
(14:23):
of payroll costs for the next two months in order
to um, you know, keep you from having to layoff employees.
So um we will link to both of those as
well as um. You know, there's a fund that we found,
convert Kit Creators Fund. They're giving micro grants. I know
(14:44):
their initial bulk of money has all all been depleted,
but I think um people have started to see that
they're a great kind of clearing house for these grants,
and more people are donating. So I would, um, you know,
head that way, add your name to the list. You
might not get it right away, but as they fundraise more,
I think there's going to be more available. UM. So
(15:08):
check that out. That's for childcare, groceries, medical bills or five.
Um it's you know, below the taxable income whatever, so um,
so they can just give it free and clear. So
check that out. That's great, you know, honestly, just UM,
file for unemployment. That's kind of the number one UH.
(15:28):
If you're eligible, file for it. A lot of states
are waiving the UH investigation period or the waiting period.
Usually it's like ten days or so after you file. UM.
A lot of states are waiving that, so you can
start getting unemployment checks right away. UM. And you know,
there's there's talk of lots of different ways the government,
either state or federal might step in. They've pushed back
(15:52):
the tax filing deadline by ninety days, so you've got
an extra three months on your taxes. I mean, obviously
this is a highly UH you've evolving situation, right, but
I would say, UM, these are a couple of places
to start. And I am optimistic that, um, even though
we don't have a strong social safety net in this country,
(16:13):
that individuals are not going to let their neighbors go
hungry or get kicked out of their homes. And I
I hope and I believe that this is going to
bond us stronger because people realize that we need everyone
in our community to have a base level of safety
and security and health. If we want to have that
(16:34):
for ourselves. I think what's helpful for resource like this
creative capitalist is I certainly know, having worked off of
ten and nine's for so long, filing for unemployment is
not necessarily an option. If you don't have W two's,
it can be really difficult to um even qualify for
things like this, So I think it's really worth clicking through,
(16:58):
looking through, asking friends and colleagues. I think for me, certainly,
the freelance mentality has been one of well, I don't
have a corporation backing me up. You know, I don't
have certain infrastructure, and it can feel like when work
goes away, there are no options. Um. But I'm very
(17:19):
happy to see that they're popping up now. Again, they're
not going to necessarily match the income that's been coming in,
but um, I think the message is that you're not alone.
If we can say anything, it's that there's other creative
(17:55):
things being shared to like, for example, we all know
that south By Southwest was unsold. Many screenings theaters are closed. Um.
There's some resources on this creative capitalist, like how to
plan a virtual event on video if you're screening got canceled,
how to host a watch party on Facebook for schools
(18:15):
for um different companies or brands or even individuals where
you might have planned something that needs multiple people to
look at it. We all know that we can't outsmart
the market, and in this case, the market being every
sense of that word right Like I can't get an
acting job right now because auditions aren't happening and production
(18:39):
is shut down. I know that, So I'm not going
to try to outsmart the circumstances there. That's not the message.
But I think we're starting to see ways that people
are finding to shift and to approach problems from new angles.
You know, could you offer an online class for visibility?
Could you schedule FaceTime coffee chats if you're currently seeking
(19:02):
new lines of work and no one wants to have
actual coffee with you? Can you shine up your portfolio?
Not putting pressure on yourself to know how to crack this,
That's not what I'm saying, but starting to kind of
maybe be open to ways of navigating it for those
of us with children. Yes, I've been seeing some delightfully
(19:27):
well intentioned tweets and Instagram post of people pointing out
that Shakespeare wrote King Lear during a lockdown God, that
Isaac Newton had his miracle year where he uh you know,
discovered calculus, developed the theory of gravity, had this incredibly
productive year, and um, I am grateful for the for
(19:52):
the responses to those well intentioned tweets pointing out that
Shakespeare abandoned his children and had his wife raised them
while he went off to write, and Isaac Newton was celibate.
So I would like to bring the pressure down from
emerging from this with the next because I'm not going
(20:15):
to know. Um, I am going to emerge from this,
hopefully with most of my hair and a fair amount
of of my sanity and maybe of the work product
that I would have gotten done in the same time period.
(20:37):
And I have it easy. I have a four month
old who doesn't talk all day long, who can't move
on her own, yet she can roll on her side,
can't even roll all the way over. Uh, and we
only have one between two parents. Like that's the ideal
situation with children. If you are outnumbered by your children,
(20:58):
or if they are talking your off, or if they
need you know, constant supervision or you know, need help
with school. Uh, homeschooling is like a whole other thing. Um,
this is gonna be who this is going to be
a challenge, so I just want to bring the pressure down.
We don't expect every single person to emerge from this.
(21:20):
We don't expect literally anyone to emerge from this with
the next King lear Okay, yeah, oh my god, absolutely
say that. And I think it's a really good time
to say, like, if we mentioned something that that you
find is like a helpful point of view or rasturs awesome,
if we mentioned something that's like not, that's also awesome,
(21:40):
Like that's also fine. The thing is, everyone's circumstances are
so so different. So yes, yeah, we don't say the
effort on our show, but like screw King lear M,
as they say on The Good Place fork that for that. Yeah,
(22:01):
and I think you know, to your point, Christina, to
like on the topic of working from home, any advice
that I could give is going to be like really small, basic. Again,
I want to what do they say instead of the
sah word on a good play short short, we're just talking.
(22:22):
I honestly find that there is this like inverse proportion
of like when things are really hard, it's sometimes the
tiniest ship that can help, right, Like for example, uh,
Patty Kim who's this natural path who I follow, who's
based in l A. Like she had this post that
was like put socks on, and I was like, oh.
(22:44):
She's like it's actually like from an Eastern medicine standpoint,
like it actually boost immunity. But it's also like, yeah,
keep your feet warm, you know. Yeah. And while that
seems so small, um, those little things, Like my mom
used to say this thing to me when I was
spiraling down an anxiety spiral, where she would go like, hey, Kate,
(23:07):
just like go outside and notice what color is the sky?
Like she would ask me. She'd be like, what color
is the sky? And I'd be like, oh, I don't.
I don't care, you know, like I don't know, like
my life is in shambles, you know. She's like, just
go out and notice, and I'd be like, well, it's
it's blue. She's like, wow, isn't that interesting? Like that
little thing. I can certainly speak to working from home
(23:31):
as an individual, realizing that it's not including working from
home with children. I mean, what's your Do you have
any insights on that from doing it? So far? Yea,
so so far. It's just you're setting the expectation with
everyone in your life that like, this is going to
be messy. So I was on a FaceTime or a
zoom work call yesterday with a bunch of writers in
(23:54):
l A And in the middle of it, my baby
had a meltdown, and so I had to pick her
up and take her back and hold her with one
arm and keep her past fire in with the other
hand and rock her back and forth while talking about
cashlow statements. Um, And like, I think that probably would
(24:15):
have been mortifying in a previous life would be like,
oh my god, it feels so unprofessional. Um. And now
I don't care. Uh. And you know, and I'm doing
this while wearing like a crop top and my pajama pants,
and I don't care. I know some people say, like
get up, put on real clothes, shower, put on a bra.
Like that's not reality for me right now. It might
(24:36):
be in two weeks when I can't tell morning from night,
but right now reality is like, uh, is my hair
pulled back? Do I have a shirt on before I
get on my zoom call? Because I'm still breastfeeding and
sometimes I'm not wearing a shirt. Um, the waist down
really doesn't matter for the zoom call. So you're good.
There doesn't unless you're getting up and moving during the
(24:59):
call and not it does. I did do that yesterday,
so that's it. And then I would say, as someone
who doesn't have a backyard, keep your windows open. Get
fresh air as much as you can, even if it
makes your apartment a little chili right now, put on
extra layers, put on those socks. But get fresh air.
And then you know, in the moments when you can
sneak outside, go for a walk, do what you need to.
(25:21):
Try to do it every little bit, I think feels
like it makes a difference. And the same sort of
physical activity, like I'm planking in the middle of my
living room and doing wall sits and like trying to
find ways to stay some way active because just sitting,
like we were never designed to sit six eighteen hours
a day. Yeah, no, it's it's true. You know. We'll
(25:43):
we'll link to a couple of articles with different resources
and tips for working from home. What I would say,
you know, is for me, trying to keep some little
tiny routine things like even and that's very different from
like needing things to be orderly, Like those are two
different things, and I want to make that clearer, because
(26:04):
I think the most important message is just taking the
pressure off. You may start to hear rosie makes sounds
right now because she's right here by me. Hold up, um,
but just like take pressure off for it to look
any certain way other than what is manageable for you
at this point. But certainly like tiny things like for me,
if I know that I can, like when I went
(26:28):
to the store, I was able to get coffee and
I got it because I know that for me, just
making that cup of coffee makes me feel like, Okay,
there's some routine in my day. I have a friend
who is working from home and she's just trying to
close her laptop to eat lunch, even if that's five minutes, uh,
if it can be longer, right, yeah, Like do things
(26:50):
like take a real lunch, if you can take regular
screen breaks, even if you have to set an alarm
on your phone to go, okay just at you know,
fifty five on the hour. If I can, I'm going
to just take a screen break setting something like a
bedtime alarm, which if you have kids, that piece of
advice may not be helpful whatsoever, but um, you know,
(27:12):
trying to just set yourself up for success. Like I know,
for me, even before I go to bed. Now, some
nights I'm just like collapsing into bed whatever. Right, I
don't get this right every time, but sometimes, like if
I can clean my workspace so that when I wake
up in the morning it's in some semblance of order,
Little things like that can help me, you know, sort
(27:34):
of segmenting my day like for example, and I even
did this when I lived in a sixteen by nine
apartment in New York. Like even just like changing locations
was helpful for me, even if it meant going from
the floor to the chair back to the floor, right, Like,
if that was my option, that definitely helped m sure
(27:55):
my head space. My favorite tip right now, if anyone
has Zoom, if they're doing call specifically on a Zoom platform,
you can go into your settings and there is a
check box that applies basically it's a beauty filter. It's
like an Instagram beauty filter, so you can and then
(28:16):
instead of you having to put on makeup. I'm not joking,
I've done this. I will do you putting on makeup.
The technology applies it for you. Hashtag You're welcome. That
is a hero A modern day hero whoever, whoever designed that.
But yeah, I think you know, I think that. Yeah,
(28:37):
the point is do what works for you. Like for me,
I realized that I did want to start putting genes
and a braw on just because it was like helping
my emotional state to do that. So but for you,
you may be like, oh, I'm going full like comfy.
There's no right here. I mean right now, right now,
(28:59):
that's where I am. So as much as it's important
to figure out how to work from home, I also
(29:20):
want to talk about what to do when you're not working,
because this is the one you know, this is the
hardest thing for people who work from home period, is
like there are no boundaries in your day or there
it can feel like there are no boundaries. And I
think in the middle of this right now, we're even
more prone to that because certainly, when I'm working, I'm
not thinking about this and and so I don't want
(29:43):
this to suddenly become the thing that you're working all
the time to avoid scrolling Twitter. Um So, my favorite
thing to do in the last few days is face
time at least one person, and I've been doing lots
of people every single day. Need to talk to a
human who is not my husband or my daughter, um,
(30:04):
every day and uh, in particular, doing like group happy
hour with some of the women in my professional network
where we all just get on and we're drinking our
drink of choice, which could be water hydrate all day
and um and just checking in, you know, with each
other and and keeping those social connections strong even when
(30:26):
we're having to keep our physical connections quite distant. Yes, yes,
such an important point. You know, connecting with others is
just it's so essential for mental health and knowing that
even if you are isolated, which so many of us are,
you're not alone. And you know, it's not easy to
(30:48):
reach out for everybody, like it's not. On both sides
of that, it can be difficult to reach out to
offer help and know what to say that's even going
to be helpful, and it can be difficult to ask
for help. And what sort of helped me with that
is to just take a pause and go like, what
would be helpful if someone could offer it to me
(31:09):
right now, or what might bring me comfort? And how
can I kind of pass that on to somebody else?
And I think I've just been so grateful for even
just a little quick emoji text or a hello from
people that I haven't heard from for quite some time. Um.
And then other friends have gotten more creative, like I
(31:31):
have set up FaceTime drink dates, and a friend invited
me to a Skype book club. A friend of mine
last night just did her own Instagram live of excuse me.
I just have like a coffee throat um of of
reading out of her diary and like just honestly being
(31:52):
in my kitchen by myself at ten o'clock at night
and listening to Annie like read about her hopes and
dreams in her twenty These just gave me a lot
of comfort. I really did. I thought it was a
really clever idea. I love that I have a number
of friends who are amazing cooks who are offering remote
not cooking lessons per se, but like recipe consulting. They're
(32:18):
basically like, show me what you have in your in
your cupboard, and I will help you figure out what
to make for dinner that is not just like the
bare minimum, but it's actually nourishing and you know, actually
feeds you. So I've really appreciate it. I mean, lucky
for me, Chaz cooks. So this is not a thing
I need, but I appreciate that, like, this could be
(32:42):
very hard. I mean, I think about a lot of
New Yorkers, like, we don't cook for the most part. Um,
it's just the thing that a lot of folks do.
And so suddenly relying on yourself to make three meals
a day for a very long time from raw ingredients
is is it can feel overwhelming and I think you
(33:02):
don't want to Like, I love pop tarts, but you
can't eat them three meals a day. So um, I've
really appreciated the people offering kind of nourishment and sustenance
via kind of cooking advice. Well, I think I think
that's great. My friend Rachel has an Instagram account called
Virtual Cooking Club, and she's been doing this for a
while where she'll just cook a recipe on a Sunday night,
(33:25):
but she's been offering things like, um, similarly recipes with
limited ingredients. Um. Also she's been offering resources for if
you can't get like I know at my grocery store,
I can't get the kinds of proteins or even pasta
or rice that I would normally get and um. She
(33:45):
shared the fact that a lot of small local restaurants
and businesses are doing special care packages and deliveries. There's
a taco place in l A that's doing this package
of just like some basic meats and tortillas and a
pack of toilet paper, which is awesome. So yeah, so
I think it's also about thinking like what are what
(34:09):
are things that I could share? I know I'm just
really leaning on my online friends right now and really
love hearing just any input people have. I think that's
when I find hope in social media instead of and
you know, I agree, And I think a big part
for me right now is is going beyond the scrolling
(34:31):
and the liking and the commenting, but actually getting to
the talking again, whether phone or video. I think for
a lot of my relationships, especially post baby, you have
that kind of benefit of the asynchronicity. Uh you know,
I'm I'm scrolling at three in the morning while I'm
(34:52):
nursing and they can see my comment whenever they wake up,
and there is some benefit to that. But I think
right now there's something really magical about connecting in real time. Yeah,
So returning to the and it's not like you don't
know where they are, they're sitting at home. Yeah, yeah,
that's right. Returning to like the phone call, the meandering
(35:14):
two hour long phone call um for gen Z, that's
where you pick up the phone and you call someone.
It might feel really scary at first, by promise you're
going to be super used to it by the end
of this there is this free pass, and not even
a free pass, like a real need to just reach out,
you know. And and I think it's really great to
(35:35):
kind of just go through your contact list and think, like,
who can I just say hi to, Who can I
set up something with? Who might be absolutely by themselves
right now? You know, I know every time I hear
from a friend it's not just Rosie, and that means
so much to me, It really does. UM. I think
it's also really important to mention that mental health can
(35:57):
be absolutely is affected by the US, right and so
reaching out in an even uh more pointed way to
things like mental health hotlines or a therapy even if
it's just trying out a therapy app, or an app
like grid Diary where you can just track your mood
(36:17):
and from day to day and just sort of touch
base with how you are, because there's just a lot
to carry right now. And if you find yourself wandering
around your house having really dark thoughts, which I know
I have so been prone to, and we all are
in a way, I think it's um, it's really uh
(36:41):
okay and high Rosie. Rosie's like, yeah, she has guys,
she's been wandering arout well. So I also want to
emphasize this is especially true for anyone who's in recovery.
So if you are sober, if you are UM in
you know, an eating disorder recovery, isolation is a thing
(37:04):
that can can undo so much of the work that
you have put into that recovery. So I've seen so
many resources pop up on my feeds of friends who
are offering to be sponsors, to check in with folks,
to do distance meetings. So UM, I think, in particular,
(37:25):
before you feel like you're spiraling, if you know you're
in one of those categories, if you know you're vulnerable
to this, find a support, reach out to a community
now before it gets um more challenging. Yeah, I will
share a link to this resource. UM that the National
Alliance on Mental Illness posted the table of contents of
(37:46):
their guide has things like I'm having a lot of
anxiety because of the coronavirus, please help and they have
insights for that. Or I'm feeling lonely and isolated even further,
what can I do? I don't have health insurance or
very their doctor. How can I get care? Will absolutely
share to that, And again I think it's also it
(38:08):
makes connecting with others reaching out more important than than ever.
So also on the resource side, Uh, there's a lot
of sort of great things popping up the people are providing,
and just to share a few of them and please
continue to share those kinds of things with us. Like
(38:29):
there's this yoga app that I really enjoy called the
down Dog App. They're offering completely free yoga through the
app until at least April one. So if you need
some guidance doing you know, a down dog or something else, Um,
that's great. My friend Sarah has a dance studio and
I like called mob HQ and they're offering free dance classes.
(38:50):
I watched a hip hop class last night. It was
very very life giving. I mean there's even um like
social choirs pop up. I saw one yesterday. I was
too late to join, which made me very sad. But
you know, having thirty forty sixty people all join from
their couch and doing singalongs, which are super messy because
(39:12):
of the latency, the lag time in you know, video chat.
But it doesn't matter. That's not the point. You're getting
all these people singing you know, lean on me together
from their sofas. Um. And uh, you know, I think
there are so many resources like that. I know that
the twenty four Hour Play project has been posting some
really great content, and Opera is making their you know,
(39:35):
HD recordings free their their site. There there's so many, um,
I think amazing arts and other organizations kind of making
content available, making resources available. So the less time you
spend scrolling Twitter and reading the news quite frankly, and
the more time you do literally anything else, um, the
(39:59):
better I think you're going to feel. And I say
that out loud as a reminder to myself. Yeah. And
I would also say, like on the topic of like,
do not put any pressure on yourself to write the
next King Lear or theory of gravity if you are
finding that you're spending your extra downtime, if you have
any at all, but if you're spending time worrying or
(40:22):
scrolling or ruminating, um, something that's been helpful for me
that I just started doing is like I've made a
list of activities that I could do instead, because I
think when I'm in a moment of just like really
ruminating about the state of the world, it's hard for
me to know think of anything else to do, you know,
So even just like some of these resources that we
(40:43):
might share, like just putting on your list. Oh, I
could watch part of an opera. That's something I could do.
Or I could clean the drunk the drunk drawer. That's amazing,
I could clean the drunk drawer. Or the more my
house is as clean as it's ever been because I
(41:07):
have been like Q tipping the crumbs out from the toaster. Yeah,
totally to like. So so maybe like have a little
running list of This is not a to do list.
This is just an option list. If I find myself
and it can do room in my head, it's a
can do list. Yeah, and that's not to like, it's
(41:31):
so easy for overwhelmed, which we have talked about on
our show episode one oh six. Um, it's so easy
for that to like just move itself to different things.
So it would be very easy to feel overwhelmed by
like wanting to take advantage of all these free resources
that are popping up right now. Right. This is not
that try one at the most, like get a C
(41:54):
minus right now, like pass, but do not try to
get an A anyway pass if you can, and you can,
we believe in you. I like it. I like it.
I mean the big takeaway right now is to be
kind to yourself and to others. Right everyone is processing
this differently, and we're all processing it differently from one
(42:17):
hour to the next. That's right, And there's a lot,
um there's a lot that we don't know still, and
that can feel I can feel really overwhelming. So UM,
I guess my advice to you is drink water and
wash your hands for twenty seconds all the birthday. Please
(42:38):
reach out to us at any time. We we really
love to know how you're doing, and we'd love to
know how you're coping, what resources you're finding, helpful, emergency
funds you've heard about, or just send us a quick
hello from the social distance. UM. As always, you can
reach us on Twitter or Instagram at t l d
(42:58):
n E Pod where you can eat mel us at
Hello at t LDNY podcast dot com or if you
want to use that phone. You can leave us a
voicemail at eight three three Hi t L d n E.
That's eight three three five three six three, and then
you'll dial eight oh three to get us. YEP. We
would love to hear your voices, and as we mentioned,
(43:20):
will link to everything that we talked about and ongoing
things certainly on both of our Instagram and Twitter accounts
as we move forward. You can find all of the
links to this episode specifically at t l DNY podcast
dot com slash one. Thanks so much to our producer
(43:47):
Maya Coole and to you for tuning in. As always,
please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts if you
like what you heard. It really helps us get the
word out to fellow human ven diagrams. Until next time,
remember bur The Limit does not exist. The Limit does
(44:08):
not Exist is a production of I Heart Radio. For
more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the i heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows. Yeah
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