October 21, 2024 • 43 mins
You go on some dates and it's going amazing, and you think you're getting to know someone until you realize there's still so much to ask before finding out who they REALLY are.
Author Lindsay Jill Roth is today's guest and she gives a sneak peek inside her upcoming book Romances and Practicalities out January 28th! She shares her story and the 250 questions you want to ask to check off all the boxes with your partner while Chris shares the extreme circumstances they would put contestants under to get the same results.
Pre-order the book at http://lindsayjillroth.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin,
Texas today. Well, like many of these days, we're going
to talk love. We're talking love with an amazing author,
Lindsey Jill Roth. She's dropping a book called Romances and Practicalities. Look,
(00:24):
there's a lot of books about dating and love, but
this one really struck me because this is you know again,
I usually don't read right off of the press release,
but I'm going to with this because this is really
the hook got me. The synopsis of Romances and Practicalities
that drops January twenty eighth. Pop psychology of Malcolm Gladwell
(00:46):
and the humor of Kerrie Bradshaw come on right there.
That got me. I'm a huge Malcolm Gladwell fan. I
like the way his brain thinks. In reading what Lindsay
had to say, it is a lot of her personal
journey to love, but with the psychology and the introspection
(01:06):
of Malcolm Gladwell, who so brilliantly always articulates life in
a very interesting way. So when I saw this, I'm like, Okay,
I have to dive in with Lindsay about her book
and weaving her own story through a maze of two
hundred and fifty questions of how to find love or
if you already are in love, how to make it better,
(01:27):
how to make that intimacy and the communication even more
intentional and more intense. And so it is a great
honor to have author and TV producer Lindsey jill Roth
on the show today. Joining me now is Lindsay Jill Roth, author,
and I'm was just in the intro. I was just
saying how intrigued I am by this book because of
(01:50):
what I did obviously for twenty years in love and romance,
but then also being single and finding romance again in
my life not so recently, and having he'd been in
the dating scene. I get I related so much to
what you were saying in the book. It makes so
much sense to me that you think you're getting to
know somebody, you think you're making a connection, but we're not,
(02:13):
and some of us are really bad at this, And
so I love where this book is going.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I think it's easy to mistake connection for connection.
It's easy to mistake sex and intimacy for romance. And
I think unless you are really open and honest and communicative,
cutive with someone. Yeah, you don't really get to know someone.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Where are you today? Where am I talking to you from?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
So I'm kind of giving away a bit of the
book here, but it's dark for me and light for you.
I've London, England.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Okay, yes, because you know part of the book is
and I don't know if this is a spoiler, but
the impetus was this as you fell in love with
this charming Englishman but things didn't work out, So it's
not the fairy tale ending that led to the book.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, you know, it's funny. You have to read the
book and it is beat read meets this book that
everyone who is embarking on finding healthy love meets. So
it's a great story meets a tool for how to
communicate to find healthy love. So spoiler alert, it did
(03:21):
end up working out with the brit You know, we
met in New York. We had a transatlantic, very up
and down love story, which makes for some great fodder
throughout the book. And you know, it made for a
great romance, It made for a great story, it made
for communication, and it made us better partners. I like
(03:43):
to say, you know, I met this man after feeling
like I dated all of New York. No one was
flying me around the world to meet people, or putting
me in a room with twenty four other women.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
No hot air balloons, weird group dates.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
No No. I was left to my own devices, and
I was sifting through these men, and I realized there
was no tool to help me get through what I
really really needed. And I needed to understand myself better.
I needed to learn how to communicate better, and I
needed to not be afraid. So when I was dating
this very charming englishman who I liked for more than
(04:20):
just his accent, he was very shortly sent back to
London after we met, and we really had to double
down on how we got to know each other. You know,
we only had two of our five senses, right. We
couldn't smell each other, we couldn't touch each other, and
you know, we really had to communicate. So I created
(04:41):
a tool to help people be comfortable in finding love
and finding healthy love and thinking of a way to
open up pathways to partnership. You know, the thesis of this
book is that communication is sexy, and if you want romance,
start with some practicality.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, Lindsey. I mean, there's so many places I want
to jump in, and for every time I said, well,
I just first of all, I can't. It's how healthy
you are of your self realization. And I think that
is one of the biggest stumbling blocks for most people
is you looked in the mirror and you found fault
in the mirror in yourself. You weren't going, oh my gosh,
(05:25):
as you said, sifting. That's a very interesting word. I
was sifting through all these men. And this can go
for men or women, by the way, but we all
do this right in our dating life and it's like, oh,
he's not right, she's not right, he didn't fit check
off the boxes in this Very rarely are we looking
in the mirror like you just said. And that is
a tough thing to do. It's easier said than done.
So kudos to you for saying, you know what, I'm
(05:47):
not doing something. I need to fix this if I
want to go deeper.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, I was going down a slippery slope. I was.
I was becoming less and less myself because I wasn't
finding the partnership I thought it would. So I this
was born out of fear. This was not me at
the top of the mountain saying I've created something. This
is I'm afraid and I'm unsure of myself and I
need to get back to who I am and I
(06:13):
like who I am, and how can I be the
best partner as me? And you know, what does the
mean now? Really need? Right? Not what's on a piece
of paper that might be on my list, you know,
because at the end of the day, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Right, we all have the boxes.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
We do have boxes, and some boxes are okay, but
actually figure out what those boxes are. If you want
someone spiritual, dig into what spiritual means just saying someone's spiritual? Right,
what does that mean to you? Put it into action words? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And the way you've described And I mentioned this and
this is I don't often read, you know, off a
press release because I'm like, okay, let's go deeper. But
there was a line. So whoever wrote this, maybe it
was you, Okay, So this is brilliant, Okay, So I
love this. The whole synopsis of the book starts off
with with the pop psychology of Malcolm Gladwell and the
(07:10):
humor of Carrie Bradshaw Romances and Practicalities, which of course
is the book combines these, you know, the kind of
the psychology and the romance of it all. Okay, maybe
it's because I'm a geek and I love Malcolm Gladwell
and I am obsessed with his podcast and everything he does.
But also Lauren got me more obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw
(07:32):
and watching Sex in the City. Obviously I was aware
of it, it's one of the biggest shows ever, but
I never really dove into Carrie Bradshaw, and so I
find those two very interesting because my theory on Carrie
Bradshaw for watching is she is not really healthy and
she's not very good at this at all, and she's
not doing what you're doing, which is self help and
(07:54):
self realization of her shortcomings.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, when you keep putting yourself in to the same
situation over and over and over with different people, something
has to give, right and when you legitimately it's.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
The definition of insanity. And we'll just keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, right, and you're you're you know, look, you found Lauren, right,
and you seem to have a great partnership with her.
And if if a long term partner is what you want,
you have to get married. You don't have to tie
the knup. But finding that person, if that's what you want,
it can be incredible, right.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, And I will say kudos to Lauren who is
a far better communicator than I am. And I thought
I was good, and you know, considering, and I hate
to say this publicly, but considering what I did for
twenty years, you think I would be a much better
communicator because of all that I watched and the mistakes
that were made. But Lauren actually opened my eyes to
(08:51):
being so much more intentional. And I feel like that
is this book. It is not just communicating. We can
all talk, we can all laugh, we can all do that,
but it's your questions. These two hundred and fifty questions
that we throughout this book, they are intentional communication, which
is very different.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
It's also about being or finding someone who you are
comfortable speaking about anything and everything with, so right. It's
not about getting an answer right, because then someone else
is wrong. Right. It's also about you know, if you
bring something up at the beginning of a relationship, it's
a lot easier to bring that up again and to
revisit something than it is to be three four years
(09:33):
in and think, God, we've never talked.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
About this right. Oh, by the way, I slept with
you know, Hey.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Can I tell you something? I don't know how to
bring this up. There shouldn't be that moment. There should
be a hey, this feels a little awkward, you know,
but I know we're comfortable with each other, you know.
And you can see that when you first start seeing someone,
if you don't have to run their texts by friends,
if you can be one hundred percent yourself, you know,
when you're communicating with this person, that's indication. You know.
(10:03):
If you bring up these questions and you say, I
read this great book, blame it on me. I read
this great book, and I want to ask you some questions.
If the person you're with is a little hesitant and
doesn't want to go there with you, maybe that's an
indication of something. But if someone's willing to jump in
and say, you know, I'm not the best communicator, but
I'll try.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
And that's the thing is I think you're going to
find for those listening, probably one or the other is
a better communicator. It's very rare that you're going to
just have two great communicators in a relationship. It's wonderful
if you have that, but usually one has to beget
the other and you have to help and teach. And
I will give Lauren a lot of credit. I think
(10:45):
there are things that I've done for Lauren, but I
definitely one thing she did for me was definitely help
me with communication. And so if that is the case,
as you have found, how can the person that's read
your book, the person that is the communicator, or how
can they be of assistance and trying to bridge that
gap with someone who's maybe a little tentative and a
(11:06):
little stand offish with being open with our feelings so.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You can start light. I mean, the person you're asking
these questions too, doesn't actually have to know that they're
being r and pied if you will, right, So the
first chapter.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Doesn't have to be an interrogation.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
No, no, it doesn't, and it can be done in
various stages. So, for example, the first chapter in the
book is about animals and pets. And I purposely did
this because talking to someone about animals or pets is
a gateway into how this person takes care of others.
(11:41):
Are they afraid? Did they have pets when they were
growing up? So you can learn a little bit about
their childhood. So this innocuous question about oh do you
like dogs? Are you a cat person? Oh? God, I
hate cats? Is like, oh, okay, let's dig into that, right,
And it's so harmless, but it really if you listen
to their answer, it's such an.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Indication lead you into children their thoughts about having living
things in their life and taking care of them. For sure,
it's a good medical right.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Do you have pet insurance? Do you? Or do you
believe you know in treating you know, giving your pet
antidepressants if they're a little anxious. I mean, it opens
up so many, so many doors, you know. And then
there's sort of the hey, I read this book, or hey,
I just thought it'd be fun if we ask some
questions of each other, you know, we have a glass
(12:28):
of wine or some ice cream, and look, I have
to tell you, Chris, I hear this all the time.
People get three four questions in and they're having sex
on the floor. Because communication can be super intimate, and
especially for women. Let's use a heterosexual relationship just in
this case. So I'm I'm feeling really comfortable because I'm
(12:52):
communicating with the man that I really care about. He's
making me feel safe because I'm listening to his answers
and he's listening to mine. Times in with a question,
and suddenly the intimacy kind of overwhelms the situation. And
I really I hear about this more often than not
of like WHOA, what just happened? I get texts like
(13:12):
wow that worked. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
No, I think communication is incredibly intimate. I e incredibly sexy.
I think there that is an unbelievable direct correlation. And
that is something I saw often on the show, those
that communicated and really got each other and hit on
that level. Just that's you could see the sparks fly
(13:34):
when you say people have that instant chemistry. A lot
of times that's what that is.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
It is, and they feel open enough to start communicating
right and to you know, part of this book is
showing people what you can talk about when you're getting
to know someone. It's okay to go there. And some
people don't always know. You know, Should I ask about
(13:59):
your childhood or how you argue, or who you feel
comfortable speaking with, or what your hobbies and rituals are,
what do you like to do? That's great, but then
you can get deeper. And it's okay to go deeper
because it only gets you closer to people.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Two things. Number one, what are the mistakes? The biggest mistakes?
And you were committing them yourself? For those that you know,
I think I'm a pretty intelligent guy. I'm a caring guy.
I like to listen, I like to talk, whatever. So
let's take the average person, like you or like myself,
what are the what's the biggest mistake we're making thinking
(14:37):
we're good communicators, but we're not.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So I think a lot of people make the mistake
I certainly did. Of you know, the term deal breaker
of saying well this is a deal breaker for me, Yeah, right,
and but not actually understanding actually is it a deal
breaker for me? And if so, why? Right? So I
don't mean like, do you want to have kids or
(15:00):
do you not want to have kids, because that's actually
a pretty concrete thing. But you know, I had a
a I wrestled with a lot of questions about my
religion when I was dating my now husband, And you know,
I like to say we're different religions, but I really
started to understand more about my faith and what I
(15:22):
cared about because I was with someone who is the
opposite religion, and I feel really lucky for that because
I really dug into what was important to me about
the rituals that I would ask us to do together
versus not. But I find a lot of people take
trivial things that they're holding on too for whatever block
they are, and they hold on to that when they
(15:43):
don't realize actually does that really matter? And so I
think these questions they bring you back to you. So
they're not like what do you think is the hottest
part of my body? Or what what do you like
when I do to you sexually? Which is a great question,
(16:03):
but they start with I answers. So if I understand
this about myself, I can be a better partner to you.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay, you know, I think there's probably levels to this.
As you said, don't start off date one with all
(16:31):
of these questions. These are things that need to come
out over time. Correct.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yes, and no, I think you can feel the pace,
you know. It's everyone goes at their own pace and
is in a different situation. So like after your first marriage,
did you reflect on if you were going to get
married again sort of what was important to you the
second time around?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah? For sure, I mean and at first I thought,
you know, I had the knee jerk reaction of number one.
I don't want to be the guy that immediately fall
you know, gets right back into relationship. And I haven't
dealt with this seventeen years of baggage, and I have
two beautiful kids and I'm trying to be a dad.
I mainly just was like self restraint of don't be
that person that just rebounds right into a relationship. But
(17:15):
then initially my I wouldn't say it was a deal breaker,
but I was like, I don't know if I'll ever
get married again. And I'm okay if I don't get
married again. And Lauren and I talked about that, and
the beautiful thing about Lauren is that she kind of
felt the same way because she had been married before,
and so again we had those talks that if we
didn't get married, it wasn't the biggest thing in the world.
(17:37):
And I'm actually the one that felt like the relationship
progressed to the point where I wanted to take it there.
So it got there naturally. And I think maybe your point,
and it struck me earlier when you say, oh, this
is just a deal breaker, I am not getting married again.
Dive deeper into that. What did that mean really and
was that really a deal breaker? And it turns out
(17:58):
it was not.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, or like when people say she needs to be
shorter than me, or he has to be tall, right.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And they must be Jewish or Catholic or that's a
big one. I hear a lot about religion.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I've heard they can't come from the family of divorced parents.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Oh gosh, well there's there's seventy five percent of the population.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
But why does that mean they have unresolved stuff? Maybe
they're more evolved because of it, but you need to
ask them about it. Don't rule them out because of
something they couldn't control.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
You know what I find interesting and I'd love to
get your take on it is the you know, when
you start putting those those boxes up of like they
must be taller, or they must be Jewish, or they
must be and again some of those I get it,
some of those boxes belong. But man, when you consider
the swath of population you're cutting out, it's hard enough
(18:54):
to find the one. But if you're saying, Okay, they
can't come from a divorce family, well there's fifty to
sixty percent of the population. Can't be this can't be
this well, net, where are you going to find this
four percent that you've left in the world that you're
going to go try and find. You're just not So
you got to do a deeper dive. And that's what this,
you know, one of the things you talk about. You
got to do a deeper dive of what does this
(19:15):
stuff really mean?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
You know? And people ask me write a book your
TV producer, right, the first question, just like me, The
first thing you talk about when you create a show
or you're you're fixing something is who's the audience? Who
are we appealing to here? Right? So not every show,
not every book can appeal to every single person. But
what I love about this is that if you're single,
(19:38):
you know, you can flip through this read the story.
The story is great, right, I mean, it is such
a fun, great story. I happened to live it. It
was not always fun living it, but it's a great read,
you know, and then learn from it. Learn from all
the other people. You know. I interviewed more than one
hundred people for this book, right, So learn from their
stories and then dig in a single person and think, gosh,
(20:01):
I've never thought of that before. Wow. My parents used
to freak me out when they argued, maybe that's why
I have trouble, you know, bringing up something that's uncomfortable
to me. That's so normal, right, So that's that. And
then you know, certainly when you're on the cusp of
something pivotal, you should be asking these questions. And then
just today, so you know, the book's not out yet,
(20:22):
but I'm it's press is starting to read it and
people are interviewing me, which I'm so grateful for. And
I got an email from someone who just wrote a
story on me and the book, and she said, look,
I just have to tell you question number twenty five
blew my husband and me away. She was like, we
had this issue that we weren't talking about. You know,
(20:44):
he heard my sister complaining about her marriage to me,
and he was horrified that we speak to each other
like that. And we had to have a real sit
down about how much do we share with our family
with our friends. And he was supremely pro so he
was really uncomfortable with that, and it was festering in him.
(21:04):
She said, and without being this question in your book,
I would have never sort of had the courage to say, Okay,
we've been married for five years. We have two kids.
Let's sit down and talk about this.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, and guys, just know, if they're sisters involved, there
are no secrets, right, just Lauren has you know, between
her mom and her sister, there there's nothing that I
assume they don't know about me or our life. So
just get over it, guys, that's just sister's trump all.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Yeah, I think I think that's safe to say. I
have a question for you, actually, Chris and I've always
wondered this. I've never produced a dating show. I don't know.
Maybe you and I can come up with something great
for the future. But you know, for the couples that
have made it, and that doesn't mean everyone's walking down
the aisle, but for the couples that have made it,
(21:54):
you've been a part of their journey. Is there a
signal significantly more amount of communication that goes into them
becoming a success than with others? And clearly, Lee, you
have to cut this out of the podcast.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
If it's a no, no, it's no for sure. And
that's that's what made me kind of when I started thinking,
you know, going over you know, getting ready for this interview.
Obviously I relate everything back to like my days on
the show and about love and romance, and for sure, fine,
you know, the whole show from my producer standpoint, is
trying to create chemistry and trying to find those connections,
(22:32):
and you do that through you know, all our questions
were nonverbal, you know, they weren't written tests. It was
let's put you in an extreme situation. She's afraid of heights.
How are you going to comfort her and react in
this situation? So basically we were asking questions without asking questions,
(22:53):
we were doing the same thing, which is that's how
I love the correlation between the book and the show.
We would do those things. Putting someone on a group
date with someone who you hate, are you going to
start a fight? Are you going to make it all
about yourself and this other guy instead of making it
all about you? You know that's you know, I had
a lot of bachelorettes would walk in the room and
(23:15):
say how about me? Like, you guys haven't said anything
to me all night. You've been fighting with yourselves. So yeah,
it's there is an unbelievable correlation between what your theories
are on these questions and what we were doing for
so many years. I just didn't think about it maybe
as technical now as your book.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah, I mean, in a perfect world, right, someone's going
to be in a hot air balloon with a glass
of wine and the most beautiful meal in front of them,
and they're going to look into the eyes of the
other person and say, what pivotal relationship in your life
do you want to emulate?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, but what if you're in that hot air balloon
and the person you're with lost a parent in a
hot air balloon accident. You know, like that's then they.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Really have to focus on their answer right now.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
But now that that whole date, everything takes on so
much more meaning. But you're right asking though, that that
big question that really dives in is huge. And you know,
to your point, a lot of the conversations you see
are so superficial of like what kind of food do
you like? You know, where's your favorite Italian place in
la It's like, okay, and those aren't horrible questions, but
(24:30):
that's not going to get us anywhere.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yeah, you have to start somewhere, and if you're comfortable
enough going deeper, then that's certainly indication, right.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But if you can't go deeper, if it doesn't go
beyond that. And if you run out of things to
talk about, and you should never really run out of
any questions. I mean there's there's a million. I mean,
you have two hundred and fifty just in your one
just in books, just two hundred and fifty.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
People people thought I was crazy initially when I was
sort of describing the book and then think, how many
questions are you going to say, you know, fifty and
I well, it's two hundred fifty questions And they were like, oh.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I bet. Publishers were like, should we break this up
into ten books?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yeah? Right, talk about a franchise.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
And so, but that is an interesting thought of you
decided to put all two hundred and fifty and this
story because it all kind of encapsulated throughout with your story.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It's a journey, and look, I am not interesting enough
to carry this whole journey, right. So that's why there
are a couple stories throughout, many different couples. I interviewed
many who did the questionnaire, celebrities, subject matter experts. You know,
I created this great system and it's been validated by
all these respected people. Psychologists, social psychologists, sex therapists. You know,
(25:46):
they're all behind it because it does work.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Lindsay, in one sentence, you just told me you're not
a reality show contestant. You produced television, and that is
I know I'm not interesting enough to carry this.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
I'm not, but I really can tell a good story.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Most reality contestants are like, no, I am so interesting.
People want to know what I'm going to eat for breakfast.
There were so many they were contestants. They would come
on the show and they don't realize that the show
is what's giving you this glow and this fame and
all this, and they would leave the show and assume
that people just really cared so much about them their
(26:24):
everyday life. I'm going to do a you know, like
the Kardashians ruined everything for everybody. I'm going to do
a Kardashian type show where cameras just follow me around
and I'm like, Okay, what's what's the catch, What's what
are you producing? It's like, oh, nothing, They just I
think people just want to know what I'm doing. And
I'm like, okay, sweetheart, good luck with that.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Wasn't that so funny? People must they do this with
me too? They come up to me all the time.
I got the best idea for yes, and you hear
it and you're like.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And and where's the television? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
So what are people watching?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
You know, my family, my brother and I are so wacky.
Man following us around. You should follow us when we
go to a football game. It's crazy. And I'm like,
that's yeah. You're just describing Instagram and TikTok to me.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, one hundred percent. And you know what, there's a
place for that, and there's a place for anything. And
you know, I love I'm like you. I heard you
say recently, you know you were doing some some prep
for this interview. I was as well, and I just
I heard you say so many times that you love love.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I do.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I love love. I love dating shows. I love watching people.
I love watching their eyes and that moment where you're like, oh,
it's there. I love meeting someone on the street and
they tell me they're single. My husband wants to like
pull me away at that very moment because he's like,
oh god, because I want to set them up if
(27:46):
that's what they want, because it's beautiful and healthy love.
Have you watched the Adam Brodie Kristen Bell.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Oh my gosh, I swear I was just getting when
we got into the religious part, I was like, nobody
wants this is the new Kristen Bell Show. It's on
Netflix and I can't recommend it enough.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
If you want to see a hot rabbi and Kristen Bell,
it's like your dream past, you know. And people, so
it's all over Instagram. Obviously. It's a great show and people.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Are a lot. It's just such a simple rom com.
I love that it's like, Okay, let's not think too hard.
It's so finally and it doesn't have to be so
serious and so like I feel like everything I watch
now is so intense and like negative and dark intense.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah, And so that's why this show celebrates people communicate
and people who are figuring out their lives together. And
I love that there's this sort of healthy love movement
going on. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Well, what I love is they they literally talk about
what you probably went through is you know, spoiler alert.
He's Jewish, he's a rabbi, she's not, and they're they're
dealing with that and trying to overcome that and having conversations.
And I'll be honest, sometimes they can unicate well about it.
Sometimes they don't, and that's that's real life, which is
what I like about watching the show.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, and there's there are moments in it too where
you have to think about is this the right relationship
for me? But is it also the right relationship for him?
And if I bring this to his life, is that
going to be okay for him? And is this going
to be okay for me too? It's like, is there's
a greater good here too? It's a it's a it's
a bit the stereotype, but it's it's a it's a
(29:29):
great show with a great cast, and you start, you know,
you reflect and actually one of the things that I
love to bring it back to my book of course.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Let's do It. Romances and Practicalities comes out January twenty eighth.
Find it where you find all great books.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yes, exactly, just go on the on your computer or
your phone. People read it and they love to talk
about themselves. It opens something up in people, and I
love that because, again, like you, I'm happy to step
in talk about it and then step back and let
(30:06):
the magic happen. Yeah, and it happens differently for everyone,
but it happens, and it's incredible.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
And when you see it work. And when I say
I love love, I mean that was when people said
I did a good job on the Bachelorts. I did care.
I cared about these people. I wanted it to work. Yes,
I wanted ratings. And I know we were making television
and we were good at that too. But I really
loved seeing these people get married and now going to
weddings and seeing children being born, and you're like, this works.
(30:38):
This really is a beautiful thing when it works, and
it's hard and it's a it's not always perfect. And
I have always relished that too, of watching the awkward
and seeing the crash and burn we all do.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Awkward is not bad though, actually it has awkward. No,
but we've just gotten into like a life of thinking
awkward is bad.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Well, because Instagram and social media, there is no awkward. Typically,
it's just perfect, right, that's right, you pick the right filter,
no blemishes, you know, No, it's everything's perfect and glossy
and it's in sixteen seventeen second clips. But that's not
life at all. Life is messy.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Life is awkward, and overcoming awkward leaves leads to awesome.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, and so you know, I one thing about and
I don't want to promote this show, but one thing
about the show that and I hear this more and more,
and maybe it's from the show as everyone talks about
the ick, right, Oh, I got the ick. This thing
gave me the ick. I just you know, you kind
of go back to these deal breakers, and that, to me,
is a very dangerous mindfield to be walking through of
(31:47):
somebody did something awkward, or somebody did something we're like, ooh,
I don't know. You kind of have to get over
yourself a little bit.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I feel like the ick says so much more about
you than it does the other person. You know, whatever
weird thing they did that gave you the ick, it's like,
hold on, why did this totally shut me off? Why
did this give me the eck? So that's jump on you.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Versus a lot of it, you know, I think a
lot of it in a lot of things, in relationships
and communication and conversations. Again, a lot of it. That's
why I started this off by saying, Wow, you being
so self reflective was such a healthy thing because most
of us don't. Most of us, it's so much easier
to look outward than inward. It's easy to be it's
so easy to judge, and to be judged is really difficult.
(32:33):
That's what makes our business so hard because you're constantly
just being judged.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Okay, if you have is there a section in the
book and I'm going to ask you to pick a child?
But let's be honest. I have two children, and I
have a favor from time to time, So I'm gonna
ask you to pick a child. Is there a section
I want to ask you for one question that's impossible,
but is there a section of questions that you think? This?
(33:09):
To me is my favorite child? If you can get
to this stage, this is kind of that Malcolm Gladwell
tipping point.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
That's such a good question. No one's asked me that yet,
so thank you for making me a little bit. As
you can see, I'm trying to think of my answer.
As I replied to.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Your question, Well, you know, I love Malcolm glad Well,
so I love that side of it.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
So for me, I would say my favorite questions were
the it's the religion section because for us they were
the hardest. They were what we saved for last. They
were the ones that I didn't handle perfectly. They were
the ones that if I could redo, I would do
a little bit better, but I struggled there and they
(33:56):
were very hard for me. So writing that chapter, you know,
I brought in a rabbi, I brought in a priest,
I brought in religious leaders to talk about what this
means for different people, because I know it's hard, and
I know that that's something that comes from our childhood, right,
how we feel about religion or spirituality. And you know,
(34:20):
part of this book is trying to celebrate people for
who they are, which where you come from does determine
where you are, but you know, learning about boundaries and
answering questions about religion. You know, just because you grew
up Kosher, for example, you know a lot of people
just say, oh, with someone else who's Jewish will be kosher, right,
(34:42):
And it's like, hold on, why it's okay if you're
doing that ritual because your family, But please understand why
that's what I ask.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Understand why that's It's fascinating, you know what hits you
the most, and that makes sense. And I bet it
was honestly tough to even watch the show Nobody wants
this because it sounds like it was loosely based on
your life.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
It was so it was so fun, it was so interesting,
and this is just eye candy meets.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Real life right see for us. And that's why I
think picking your favorite child is the operative word for that,
because anybody that reads your book is going to find
a different favorite child. Like Lauren and I when we
started communicating and all that, she comes from a family
of lawyers.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Why Lauren, Oh, I feel you girl?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah, I mean dad, her dad was a great lawyer
before he passed away. Her mom, her brother's a fantastic lawyer.
They argue, they argue, and they they get after it
and by the way, you better bring facts and you
better be good at it. But I didn't come from
a family that that did that, and I it was
harsh for me, and it took me aback and I
(35:53):
had to realize, this is their love language. This is
how they speak love. And if you can hang and
you can contend in this arena, that's how you earn
their respect and you kind of, you know, mix it
up a little bit. But for me, that felt like
there was vitriol in the air and it was mean
and contentious, and I was taking it the wrong way.
And so I had to communicate that and it was
(36:15):
hard for me, and so that would have been my
favorite child in your book. Having that conversation was important
for us well.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
And sometimes it takes another person to help you understand
your family, right, So Lauren could have easily said, do
you right, That's how we communicate, That's how it is,
that's what I grew up with. But it sounds to
me like she was able to self reflect and understand. Gosh,
that is. That can be tough for someone who's and
you were grown up. It's not like you were a
child when you were coming into this relationship.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Oil is interesting, but I had to go back to
my childhood and Lauren and I had that conversation to
your point of being self reflective. Why didn't my family
discuss that way? Why weren't we you know, were we
just good Southern folk where we got you know, bless
your heart, bread sit under the rug and go on,
and we don't you know, don't talk about your feelings.
(37:04):
You swallow them, you know. And my family wasn't necessarily
like that. But those are the things you have to
question of Why didn't we talk like that?
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Yeah, I mean, there are so many people that I
spoke to who had very you know, young people who
had very old fashion views on sex and masturbation and
monogamy non monogamy, and some of them went to Catholic school.
Some of their families never talked to them about it,
and you know, it was they had to figure something out,
(37:36):
you know, in these relationships.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Because most of the time, we just start having sex, right,
That's why you know you're in a relationship. You start
having sex, and sometimes it's good, it's sometimes it's great.
Sometimes you just kind of keep going and if something's
wrong and you're not saying something that's huge, you could
get out of a great relationship. And if you had
just asked a question or two, you could have broached
(37:59):
that object.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
There's a great story in the book about this woman
who met someone and their chemistry was incredible, right, they
did talk about stuff, and then they went to have
sex and it was horrendous, and she thought, I have
to end this relationship. I can't be with someone I
can't have sex with. And she spoke to this man
(38:23):
and she sort of made the decision, I'm going to
go for it, and he was receptive to learning about
how to have better sex with her. Based. You know,
he was with someone for many years. That's what he
thought sex was, and they were together for more than
a decade because they had the conversation about it.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Let's start the conversation.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
And it is scary to bring up something like that.
It is.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It is. Yeah, there are things that are easier than
others and stuff that's in the bedroom and sex because again,
we've we've made it so taboo, we've made it so
off limits that You're right, it's scary.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Do you You and Lauren have various check ins with
each other, do check in about certain things.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Again, Lauren is such a great communicator, one of the
many reasons why I love her. We it's impossible not
to check in.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
That's amazing. She set up a great structure.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
She really has. We are constantly communicating. We constantly talk
to the point where you know, she knows that, like
I know, women have a lot more words to get
out during the day. I know you might be done,
so she'll let me go to sleep. But yeah, no,
we That's one thing that's definitely different from my first
marriage was just I'm such a better communicator, and I
(39:37):
really thought I was. Honestly, I thought I was a
very caring, attentive, communicative guy, especially for a guy. You know,
men were not the smartest animals in the world. But
I thought I was above average and good and I
was decent at it, but not compared to what I
needed to be. And that's why I think, you know,
your book is so imperative for people to die into
(40:00):
for their relationship. I think it's invaluable.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Thank you. I mean, look by the way, I think
you're being a little hard on yourself. I think you know,
for the first relationship that you were in, you needed
to be a different kind of communicator for it to succeed.
But actually you have to find the right mode of
communication for you in the partnership that you're in. Right,
so there should be a great base level. But but
(40:23):
don't try to be something that you're not anything.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Well, and we were children, you know, you're you know,
getting together in your teens and getting married in your
early twenties. I mean, our frontal lobes weren't even formed yet.
So we have to give ourselves some grace, yes.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
And that's part of this is giving yourself grace.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Lindsay, I could go on for days on this. I
love this and I think eventually we need to work together.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
I mean, I just all the ideas, Chris, all the ideas.
I did watch you, I watched you host, I watched you,
you know, live this life. And I think what you've
experienced is is so great. And I because you've seen
so much love. I I'm just so grateful that you're
willing to explore this kind of love with me. That's,
(41:05):
you know, not being alone on a beach on an island,
but creating that same passion through communication. So I'm so
grateful to you for reading this book and enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
It's it's really my pleasure. And yeah, for most of
us that can't just jet off to Bora Bora and
solve all our problems. We have to live in the
real world with children and jobs and parents and things,
and we have to you know, we have to do
the work. And that's that's part of it, and so
this but this book makes it fun.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
The work is fun.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
The work is fun. It's and by the way, as
you said, most times you dive into some of these
conversations and it gets really intimate and you you'll, trust me,
You'll you'll reap the rewards. Lindsey thank you, Thank you
so much. I appreciate it. The book Romances and Practicalities
drops January twenty fifth. Wherever books are found, and where
(41:57):
can we find you? To find you on socials. To
find the book on socials.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Find me on social at Lindsay Jill Roth on all socials.
You can go to my website, you can go to Amazon,
you can google my name with Chris Harrison now and
you know we're linked forever.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
So we are well. And I'm glad that you mentioned
before we came on. You and I were chatting and
you and I had taught worked when I was on
Larry King Live. One of the great highlights of my
career was making it on with Larry King, one of
the great interviewers. And you worked side by side with
him for years.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
And you had a great interview with him. He's such
a curious man, or he was, and you guys really
had a wonderful conversation that day.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, I love people that just dive in, like you said,
you know, he was a good, good impetus and maybe
foreshadowing for your book because he was so good at
just I'm just diving in. I'm going to ask the question.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Look, he said to me once, and I do mention
this at the back of the book. He said, you know, Lindsay,
I didn't date women, I married them, and that always
stuck with me.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Interesting. Yeah, yeah, is up.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
There, please ask some questions. I don't know how I'm
married since he's been up there now, but I hope
he's asking some questions. Well.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
I hope when we make that transition, we get the
wisdom to start asking the right questions. Lindsey Jill Roth,
thank you for your time. Congratulations on the book, look
forward to it dropping on January twenty fifth, and thanks
for being on the Most Dramatic podcast Ever. Thanks Chris,
thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most
Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a
(43:29):
review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you
next time.
This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin,
Texas today. Well, like many of these days, we're going
to talk love. We're talking love with an amazing author,
Lindsey Jill Roth. She's dropping a book called Romances and Practicalities. Look,
(00:24):
there's a lot of books about dating and love, but
this one really struck me because this is you know again,
I usually don't read right off of the press release,
but I'm going to with this because this is really
the hook got me. The synopsis of Romances and Practicalities
that drops January twenty eighth. Pop psychology of Malcolm Gladwell
(00:46):
and the humor of Kerrie Bradshaw come on right there.
That got me. I'm a huge Malcolm Gladwell fan. I
like the way his brain thinks. In reading what Lindsay
had to say, it is a lot of her personal
journey to love, but with the psychology and the introspection
(01:06):
of Malcolm Gladwell, who so brilliantly always articulates life in
a very interesting way. So when I saw this, I'm like, Okay,
I have to dive in with Lindsay about her book
and weaving her own story through a maze of two
hundred and fifty questions of how to find love or
if you already are in love, how to make it better,
(01:27):
how to make that intimacy and the communication even more
intentional and more intense. And so it is a great
honor to have author and TV producer Lindsey jill Roth
on the show today. Joining me now is Lindsay Jill Roth, author,
and I'm was just in the intro. I was just
saying how intrigued I am by this book because of
(01:50):
what I did obviously for twenty years in love and romance,
but then also being single and finding romance again in
my life not so recently, and having he'd been in
the dating scene. I get I related so much to
what you were saying in the book. It makes so
much sense to me that you think you're getting to
know somebody, you think you're making a connection, but we're not,
(02:13):
and some of us are really bad at this, And
so I love where this book is going.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I think it's easy to mistake connection for connection.
It's easy to mistake sex and intimacy for romance. And
I think unless you are really open and honest and communicative,
cutive with someone. Yeah, you don't really get to know someone.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Where are you today? Where am I talking to you from?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
So I'm kind of giving away a bit of the
book here, but it's dark for me and light for you.
I've London, England.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Okay, yes, because you know part of the book is
and I don't know if this is a spoiler, but
the impetus was this as you fell in love with
this charming Englishman but things didn't work out, So it's
not the fairy tale ending that led to the book.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, you know, it's funny. You have to read the
book and it is beat read meets this book that
everyone who is embarking on finding healthy love meets. So
it's a great story meets a tool for how to
communicate to find healthy love. So spoiler alert, it did
(03:21):
end up working out with the brit You know, we
met in New York. We had a transatlantic, very up
and down love story, which makes for some great fodder
throughout the book. And you know, it made for a
great romance, It made for a great story, it made
for communication, and it made us better partners. I like
(03:43):
to say, you know, I met this man after feeling
like I dated all of New York. No one was
flying me around the world to meet people, or putting
me in a room with twenty four other women.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
No hot air balloons, weird group dates.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
No No. I was left to my own devices, and
I was sifting through these men, and I realized there
was no tool to help me get through what I
really really needed. And I needed to understand myself better.
I needed to learn how to communicate better, and I
needed to not be afraid. So when I was dating
this very charming englishman who I liked for more than
(04:20):
just his accent, he was very shortly sent back to
London after we met, and we really had to double
down on how we got to know each other. You know,
we only had two of our five senses, right. We
couldn't smell each other, we couldn't touch each other, and
you know, we really had to communicate. So I created
(04:41):
a tool to help people be comfortable in finding love
and finding healthy love and thinking of a way to
open up pathways to partnership. You know, the thesis of this
book is that communication is sexy, and if you want romance,
start with some practicality.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, Lindsey. I mean, there's so many places I want
to jump in, and for every time I said, well,
I just first of all, I can't. It's how healthy
you are of your self realization. And I think that
is one of the biggest stumbling blocks for most people
is you looked in the mirror and you found fault
in the mirror in yourself. You weren't going, oh my gosh,
(05:25):
as you said, sifting. That's a very interesting word. I
was sifting through all these men. And this can go
for men or women, by the way, but we all
do this right in our dating life and it's like, oh,
he's not right, she's not right, he didn't fit check
off the boxes in this Very rarely are we looking
in the mirror like you just said. And that is
a tough thing to do. It's easier said than done.
So kudos to you for saying, you know what, I'm
(05:47):
not doing something. I need to fix this if I
want to go deeper.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, I was going down a slippery slope. I was.
I was becoming less and less myself because I wasn't
finding the partnership I thought it would. So I this
was born out of fear. This was not me at
the top of the mountain saying I've created something. This
is I'm afraid and I'm unsure of myself and I
need to get back to who I am and I
(06:13):
like who I am, and how can I be the
best partner as me? And you know, what does the
mean now? Really need? Right? Not what's on a piece
of paper that might be on my list, you know,
because at the end of the day, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Right, we all have the boxes.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
We do have boxes, and some boxes are okay, but
actually figure out what those boxes are. If you want
someone spiritual, dig into what spiritual means just saying someone's spiritual? Right,
what does that mean to you? Put it into action words? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And the way you've described And I mentioned this and
this is I don't often read, you know, off a
press release because I'm like, okay, let's go deeper. But
there was a line. So whoever wrote this, maybe it
was you, Okay, So this is brilliant, Okay, So I
love this. The whole synopsis of the book starts off
with with the pop psychology of Malcolm Gladwell and the
(07:10):
humor of Carrie Bradshaw Romances and Practicalities, which of course
is the book combines these, you know, the kind of
the psychology and the romance of it all. Okay, maybe
it's because I'm a geek and I love Malcolm Gladwell
and I am obsessed with his podcast and everything he does.
But also Lauren got me more obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw
(07:32):
and watching Sex in the City. Obviously I was aware
of it, it's one of the biggest shows ever, but
I never really dove into Carrie Bradshaw, and so I
find those two very interesting because my theory on Carrie
Bradshaw for watching is she is not really healthy and
she's not very good at this at all, and she's
not doing what you're doing, which is self help and
(07:54):
self realization of her shortcomings.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, when you keep putting yourself in to the same
situation over and over and over with different people, something
has to give, right and when you legitimately it's.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
The definition of insanity. And we'll just keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, right, and you're you're you know, look, you found Lauren, right,
and you seem to have a great partnership with her.
And if if a long term partner is what you want,
you have to get married. You don't have to tie
the knup. But finding that person, if that's what you want,
it can be incredible, right.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, And I will say kudos to Lauren who is
a far better communicator than I am. And I thought
I was good, and you know, considering, and I hate
to say this publicly, but considering what I did for
twenty years, you think I would be a much better
communicator because of all that I watched and the mistakes
that were made. But Lauren actually opened my eyes to
(08:51):
being so much more intentional. And I feel like that
is this book. It is not just communicating. We can
all talk, we can all laugh, we can all do that,
but it's your questions. These two hundred and fifty questions
that we throughout this book, they are intentional communication, which
is very different.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
It's also about being or finding someone who you are
comfortable speaking about anything and everything with, so right. It's
not about getting an answer right, because then someone else
is wrong. Right. It's also about you know, if you
bring something up at the beginning of a relationship, it's
a lot easier to bring that up again and to
revisit something than it is to be three four years
(09:33):
in and think, God, we've never talked.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
About this right. Oh, by the way, I slept with
you know, Hey.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Can I tell you something? I don't know how to
bring this up. There shouldn't be that moment. There should
be a hey, this feels a little awkward, you know,
but I know we're comfortable with each other, you know.
And you can see that when you first start seeing someone,
if you don't have to run their texts by friends,
if you can be one hundred percent yourself, you know,
when you're communicating with this person, that's indication. You know.
(10:03):
If you bring up these questions and you say, I
read this great book, blame it on me. I read
this great book, and I want to ask you some questions.
If the person you're with is a little hesitant and
doesn't want to go there with you, maybe that's an
indication of something. But if someone's willing to jump in
and say, you know, I'm not the best communicator, but
I'll try.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
And that's the thing is I think you're going to
find for those listening, probably one or the other is
a better communicator. It's very rare that you're going to
just have two great communicators in a relationship. It's wonderful
if you have that, but usually one has to beget
the other and you have to help and teach. And
I will give Lauren a lot of credit. I think
(10:45):
there are things that I've done for Lauren, but I
definitely one thing she did for me was definitely help
me with communication. And so if that is the case,
as you have found, how can the person that's read
your book, the person that is the communicator, or how
can they be of assistance and trying to bridge that
gap with someone who's maybe a little tentative and a
(11:06):
little stand offish with being open with our feelings so.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You can start light. I mean, the person you're asking
these questions too, doesn't actually have to know that they're
being r and pied if you will, right, So the
first chapter.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Doesn't have to be an interrogation.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
No, no, it doesn't, and it can be done in
various stages. So, for example, the first chapter in the
book is about animals and pets. And I purposely did
this because talking to someone about animals or pets is
a gateway into how this person takes care of others.
(11:41):
Are they afraid? Did they have pets when they were
growing up? So you can learn a little bit about
their childhood. So this innocuous question about oh do you
like dogs? Are you a cat person? Oh? God, I
hate cats? Is like, oh, okay, let's dig into that, right,
And it's so harmless, but it really if you listen
to their answer, it's such an.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Indication lead you into children their thoughts about having living
things in their life and taking care of them. For sure,
it's a good medical right.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Do you have pet insurance? Do you? Or do you
believe you know in treating you know, giving your pet
antidepressants if they're a little anxious. I mean, it opens
up so many, so many doors, you know. And then
there's sort of the hey, I read this book, or hey,
I just thought it'd be fun if we ask some
questions of each other, you know, we have a glass
(12:28):
of wine or some ice cream, and look, I have
to tell you, Chris, I hear this all the time.
People get three four questions in and they're having sex
on the floor. Because communication can be super intimate, and
especially for women. Let's use a heterosexual relationship just in
this case. So I'm I'm feeling really comfortable because I'm
(12:52):
communicating with the man that I really care about. He's
making me feel safe because I'm listening to his answers
and he's listening to mine. Times in with a question,
and suddenly the intimacy kind of overwhelms the situation. And
I really I hear about this more often than not
of like WHOA, what just happened? I get texts like
(13:12):
wow that worked. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
No, I think communication is incredibly intimate. I e incredibly sexy.
I think there that is an unbelievable direct correlation. And
that is something I saw often on the show, those
that communicated and really got each other and hit on
that level. Just that's you could see the sparks fly
(13:34):
when you say people have that instant chemistry. A lot
of times that's what that is.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
It is, and they feel open enough to start communicating
right and to you know, part of this book is
showing people what you can talk about when you're getting
to know someone. It's okay to go there. And some
people don't always know. You know, Should I ask about
(13:59):
your childhood or how you argue, or who you feel
comfortable speaking with, or what your hobbies and rituals are,
what do you like to do? That's great, but then
you can get deeper. And it's okay to go deeper
because it only gets you closer to people.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Two things. Number one, what are the mistakes? The biggest mistakes?
And you were committing them yourself? For those that you know,
I think I'm a pretty intelligent guy. I'm a caring guy.
I like to listen, I like to talk, whatever. So
let's take the average person, like you or like myself,
what are the what's the biggest mistake we're making thinking
(14:37):
we're good communicators, but we're not.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So I think a lot of people make the mistake
I certainly did. Of you know, the term deal breaker
of saying well this is a deal breaker for me, Yeah, right,
and but not actually understanding actually is it a deal
breaker for me? And if so, why? Right? So I
don't mean like, do you want to have kids or
(15:00):
do you not want to have kids, because that's actually
a pretty concrete thing. But you know, I had a
a I wrestled with a lot of questions about my
religion when I was dating my now husband, And you know,
I like to say we're different religions, but I really
started to understand more about my faith and what I
(15:22):
cared about because I was with someone who is the
opposite religion, and I feel really lucky for that because
I really dug into what was important to me about
the rituals that I would ask us to do together
versus not. But I find a lot of people take
trivial things that they're holding on too for whatever block
they are, and they hold on to that when they
(15:43):
don't realize actually does that really matter? And so I
think these questions they bring you back to you. So
they're not like what do you think is the hottest
part of my body? Or what what do you like
when I do to you sexually? Which is a great question,
(16:03):
but they start with I answers. So if I understand
this about myself, I can be a better partner to you.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay, you know, I think there's probably levels to this.
As you said, don't start off date one with all
(16:31):
of these questions. These are things that need to come
out over time. Correct.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yes, and no, I think you can feel the pace,
you know. It's everyone goes at their own pace and
is in a different situation. So like after your first marriage,
did you reflect on if you were going to get
married again sort of what was important to you the
second time around?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah? For sure, I mean and at first I thought,
you know, I had the knee jerk reaction of number one.
I don't want to be the guy that immediately fall
you know, gets right back into relationship. And I haven't
dealt with this seventeen years of baggage, and I have
two beautiful kids and I'm trying to be a dad.
I mainly just was like self restraint of don't be
that person that just rebounds right into a relationship. But
(17:15):
then initially my I wouldn't say it was a deal breaker,
but I was like, I don't know if I'll ever
get married again. And I'm okay if I don't get
married again. And Lauren and I talked about that, and
the beautiful thing about Lauren is that she kind of
felt the same way because she had been married before,
and so again we had those talks that if we
didn't get married, it wasn't the biggest thing in the world.
(17:37):
And I'm actually the one that felt like the relationship
progressed to the point where I wanted to take it there.
So it got there naturally. And I think maybe your point,
and it struck me earlier when you say, oh, this
is just a deal breaker, I am not getting married again.
Dive deeper into that. What did that mean really and
was that really a deal breaker? And it turns out
(17:58):
it was not.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, or like when people say she needs to be
shorter than me, or he has to be tall, right.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And they must be Jewish or Catholic or that's a
big one. I hear a lot about religion.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I've heard they can't come from the family of divorced parents.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Oh gosh, well there's there's seventy five percent of the population.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
But why does that mean they have unresolved stuff? Maybe
they're more evolved because of it, but you need to
ask them about it. Don't rule them out because of
something they couldn't control.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
You know what I find interesting and I'd love to
get your take on it is the you know, when
you start putting those those boxes up of like they
must be taller, or they must be Jewish, or they
must be and again some of those I get it,
some of those boxes belong. But man, when you consider
the swath of population you're cutting out, it's hard enough
(18:54):
to find the one. But if you're saying, Okay, they
can't come from a divorce family, well there's fifty to
sixty percent of the population. Can't be this can't be
this well, net, where are you going to find this
four percent that you've left in the world that you're
going to go try and find. You're just not So
you got to do a deeper dive. And that's what this,
you know, one of the things you talk about. You
got to do a deeper dive of what does this
(19:15):
stuff really mean?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
You know? And people ask me write a book your
TV producer, right, the first question, just like me, The
first thing you talk about when you create a show
or you're you're fixing something is who's the audience? Who
are we appealing to here? Right? So not every show,
not every book can appeal to every single person. But
what I love about this is that if you're single,
(19:38):
you know, you can flip through this read the story.
The story is great, right, I mean, it is such
a fun, great story. I happened to live it. It
was not always fun living it, but it's a great read,
you know, and then learn from it. Learn from all
the other people. You know. I interviewed more than one
hundred people for this book, right, So learn from their
stories and then dig in a single person and think, gosh,
(20:01):
I've never thought of that before. Wow. My parents used
to freak me out when they argued, maybe that's why
I have trouble, you know, bringing up something that's uncomfortable
to me. That's so normal, right, So that's that. And
then you know, certainly when you're on the cusp of
something pivotal, you should be asking these questions. And then
just today, so you know, the book's not out yet,
(20:22):
but I'm it's press is starting to read it and
people are interviewing me, which I'm so grateful for. And
I got an email from someone who just wrote a
story on me and the book, and she said, look,
I just have to tell you question number twenty five
blew my husband and me away. She was like, we
had this issue that we weren't talking about. You know,
(20:44):
he heard my sister complaining about her marriage to me,
and he was horrified that we speak to each other
like that. And we had to have a real sit
down about how much do we share with our family
with our friends. And he was supremely pro so he
was really uncomfortable with that, and it was festering in him.
(21:04):
She said, and without being this question in your book,
I would have never sort of had the courage to say, Okay,
we've been married for five years. We have two kids.
Let's sit down and talk about this.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, and guys, just know, if they're sisters involved, there
are no secrets, right, just Lauren has you know, between
her mom and her sister, there there's nothing that I
assume they don't know about me or our life. So
just get over it, guys, that's just sister's trump all.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Yeah, I think I think that's safe to say. I
have a question for you, actually, Chris and I've always
wondered this. I've never produced a dating show. I don't know.
Maybe you and I can come up with something great
for the future. But you know, for the couples that
have made it, and that doesn't mean everyone's walking down
the aisle, but for the couples that have made it,
(21:54):
you've been a part of their journey. Is there a
signal significantly more amount of communication that goes into them
becoming a success than with others? And clearly, Lee, you
have to cut this out of the podcast.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
If it's a no, no, it's no for sure. And
that's that's what made me kind of when I started thinking,
you know, going over you know, getting ready for this interview.
Obviously I relate everything back to like my days on
the show and about love and romance, and for sure, fine,
you know, the whole show from my producer standpoint, is
trying to create chemistry and trying to find those connections,
(22:32):
and you do that through you know, all our questions
were nonverbal, you know, they weren't written tests. It was
let's put you in an extreme situation. She's afraid of heights.
How are you going to comfort her and react in
this situation? So basically we were asking questions without asking questions,
(22:53):
we were doing the same thing, which is that's how
I love the correlation between the book and the show.
We would do those things. Putting someone on a group
date with someone who you hate, are you going to
start a fight? Are you going to make it all
about yourself and this other guy instead of making it
all about you? You know that's you know, I had
a lot of bachelorettes would walk in the room and
(23:15):
say how about me? Like, you guys haven't said anything
to me all night. You've been fighting with yourselves. So yeah,
it's there is an unbelievable correlation between what your theories
are on these questions and what we were doing for
so many years. I just didn't think about it maybe
as technical now as your book.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah, I mean, in a perfect world, right, someone's going
to be in a hot air balloon with a glass
of wine and the most beautiful meal in front of them,
and they're going to look into the eyes of the
other person and say, what pivotal relationship in your life
do you want to emulate?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, but what if you're in that hot air balloon
and the person you're with lost a parent in a
hot air balloon accident. You know, like that's then they.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Really have to focus on their answer right now.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
But now that that whole date, everything takes on so
much more meaning. But you're right asking though, that that
big question that really dives in is huge. And you know,
to your point, a lot of the conversations you see
are so superficial of like what kind of food do
you like? You know, where's your favorite Italian place in
la It's like, okay, and those aren't horrible questions, but
(24:30):
that's not going to get us anywhere.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yeah, you have to start somewhere, and if you're comfortable
enough going deeper, then that's certainly indication, right.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But if you can't go deeper, if it doesn't go
beyond that. And if you run out of things to
talk about, and you should never really run out of
any questions. I mean there's there's a million. I mean,
you have two hundred and fifty just in your one
just in books, just two hundred and fifty.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
People people thought I was crazy initially when I was
sort of describing the book and then think, how many
questions are you going to say, you know, fifty and
I well, it's two hundred fifty questions And they were like, oh.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I bet. Publishers were like, should we break this up
into ten books?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yeah? Right, talk about a franchise.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
And so, but that is an interesting thought of you
decided to put all two hundred and fifty and this
story because it all kind of encapsulated throughout with your story.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It's a journey, and look, I am not interesting enough
to carry this whole journey, right. So that's why there
are a couple stories throughout, many different couples. I interviewed
many who did the questionnaire, celebrities, subject matter experts. You know,
I created this great system and it's been validated by
all these respected people. Psychologists, social psychologists, sex therapists. You know,
(25:46):
they're all behind it because it does work.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Lindsay, in one sentence, you just told me you're not
a reality show contestant. You produced television, and that is
I know I'm not interesting enough to carry this.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
I'm not, but I really can tell a good story.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Most reality contestants are like, no, I am so interesting.
People want to know what I'm going to eat for breakfast.
There were so many they were contestants. They would come
on the show and they don't realize that the show
is what's giving you this glow and this fame and
all this, and they would leave the show and assume
that people just really cared so much about them their
(26:24):
everyday life. I'm going to do a you know, like
the Kardashians ruined everything for everybody. I'm going to do
a Kardashian type show where cameras just follow me around
and I'm like, Okay, what's what's the catch, What's what
are you producing? It's like, oh, nothing, They just I
think people just want to know what I'm doing. And
I'm like, okay, sweetheart, good luck with that.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Wasn't that so funny? People must they do this with
me too? They come up to me all the time.
I got the best idea for yes, and you hear
it and you're like.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And and where's the television? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
So what are people watching?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
You know, my family, my brother and I are so wacky.
Man following us around. You should follow us when we
go to a football game. It's crazy. And I'm like,
that's yeah. You're just describing Instagram and TikTok to me.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, one hundred percent. And you know what, there's a
place for that, and there's a place for anything. And
you know, I love I'm like you. I heard you
say recently, you know you were doing some some prep
for this interview. I was as well, and I just
I heard you say so many times that you love love.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I do.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I love love. I love dating shows. I love watching people.
I love watching their eyes and that moment where you're like, oh,
it's there. I love meeting someone on the street and
they tell me they're single. My husband wants to like
pull me away at that very moment because he's like,
oh god, because I want to set them up if
(27:46):
that's what they want, because it's beautiful and healthy love.
Have you watched the Adam Brodie Kristen Bell.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Oh my gosh, I swear I was just getting when
we got into the religious part, I was like, nobody
wants this is the new Kristen Bell Show. It's on
Netflix and I can't recommend it enough.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
If you want to see a hot rabbi and Kristen Bell,
it's like your dream past, you know. And people, so
it's all over Instagram. Obviously. It's a great show and people.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Are a lot. It's just such a simple rom com.
I love that it's like, Okay, let's not think too hard.
It's so finally and it doesn't have to be so
serious and so like I feel like everything I watch
now is so intense and like negative and dark intense.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah, And so that's why this show celebrates people communicate
and people who are figuring out their lives together. And
I love that there's this sort of healthy love movement
going on. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Well, what I love is they they literally talk about
what you probably went through is you know, spoiler alert.
He's Jewish, he's a rabbi, she's not, and they're they're
dealing with that and trying to overcome that and having conversations.
And I'll be honest, sometimes they can unicate well about it.
Sometimes they don't, and that's that's real life, which is
what I like about watching the show.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, and there's there are moments in it too where
you have to think about is this the right relationship
for me? But is it also the right relationship for him?
And if I bring this to his life, is that
going to be okay for him? And is this going
to be okay for me too? It's like, is there's
a greater good here too? It's a it's a it's
a bit the stereotype, but it's it's a it's a
(29:29):
great show with a great cast, and you start, you know,
you reflect and actually one of the things that I
love to bring it back to my book of course.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Let's do It. Romances and Practicalities comes out January twenty eighth.
Find it where you find all great books.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yes, exactly, just go on the on your computer or
your phone. People read it and they love to talk
about themselves. It opens something up in people, and I
love that because, again, like you, I'm happy to step
in talk about it and then step back and let
(30:06):
the magic happen. Yeah, and it happens differently for everyone,
but it happens, and it's incredible.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
And when you see it work. And when I say
I love love, I mean that was when people said
I did a good job on the Bachelorts. I did care.
I cared about these people. I wanted it to work. Yes,
I wanted ratings. And I know we were making television
and we were good at that too. But I really
loved seeing these people get married and now going to
weddings and seeing children being born, and you're like, this works.
(30:38):
This really is a beautiful thing when it works, and
it's hard and it's a it's not always perfect. And
I have always relished that too, of watching the awkward
and seeing the crash and burn we all do.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Awkward is not bad though, actually it has awkward. No,
but we've just gotten into like a life of thinking
awkward is bad.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Well, because Instagram and social media, there is no awkward. Typically,
it's just perfect, right, that's right, you pick the right filter,
no blemishes, you know, No, it's everything's perfect and glossy
and it's in sixteen seventeen second clips. But that's not
life at all. Life is messy.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Life is awkward, and overcoming awkward leaves leads to awesome.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, and so you know, I one thing about and
I don't want to promote this show, but one thing
about the show that and I hear this more and more,
and maybe it's from the show as everyone talks about
the ick, right, Oh, I got the ick. This thing
gave me the ick. I just you know, you kind
of go back to these deal breakers, and that, to me,
is a very dangerous mindfield to be walking through of
(31:47):
somebody did something awkward, or somebody did something we're like, ooh,
I don't know. You kind of have to get over
yourself a little bit.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I feel like the ick says so much more about
you than it does the other person. You know, whatever
weird thing they did that gave you the ick, it's like,
hold on, why did this totally shut me off? Why
did this give me the eck? So that's jump on you.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Versus a lot of it, you know, I think a
lot of it in a lot of things, in relationships
and communication and conversations. Again, a lot of it. That's
why I started this off by saying, Wow, you being
so self reflective was such a healthy thing because most
of us don't. Most of us, it's so much easier
to look outward than inward. It's easy to be it's
so easy to judge, and to be judged is really difficult.
(32:33):
That's what makes our business so hard because you're constantly
just being judged.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Okay, if you have is there a section in the
book and I'm going to ask you to pick a child?
But let's be honest. I have two children, and I
have a favor from time to time, So I'm gonna
ask you to pick a child. Is there a section
I want to ask you for one question that's impossible,
but is there a section of questions that you think? This?
(33:09):
To me is my favorite child? If you can get
to this stage, this is kind of that Malcolm Gladwell
tipping point.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
That's such a good question. No one's asked me that yet,
so thank you for making me a little bit. As
you can see, I'm trying to think of my answer.
As I replied to.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Your question, Well, you know, I love Malcolm glad Well,
so I love that side of it.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
So for me, I would say my favorite questions were
the it's the religion section because for us they were
the hardest. They were what we saved for last. They
were the ones that I didn't handle perfectly. They were
the ones that if I could redo, I would do
a little bit better, but I struggled there and they
(33:56):
were very hard for me. So writing that chapter, you know,
I brought in a rabbi, I brought in a priest,
I brought in religious leaders to talk about what this
means for different people, because I know it's hard, and
I know that that's something that comes from our childhood, right,
how we feel about religion or spirituality. And you know,
(34:20):
part of this book is trying to celebrate people for
who they are, which where you come from does determine
where you are, but you know, learning about boundaries and
answering questions about religion. You know, just because you grew
up Kosher, for example, you know a lot of people
just say, oh, with someone else who's Jewish will be kosher, right,
(34:42):
And it's like, hold on, why it's okay if you're
doing that ritual because your family, But please understand why
that's what I ask.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Understand why that's It's fascinating, you know what hits you
the most, and that makes sense. And I bet it
was honestly tough to even watch the show Nobody wants
this because it sounds like it was loosely based on
your life.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
It was so it was so fun, it was so interesting,
and this is just eye candy meets.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Real life right see for us. And that's why I
think picking your favorite child is the operative word for that,
because anybody that reads your book is going to find
a different favorite child. Like Lauren and I when we
started communicating and all that, she comes from a family
of lawyers.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Why Lauren, Oh, I feel you girl?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah, I mean dad, her dad was a great lawyer
before he passed away. Her mom, her brother's a fantastic lawyer.
They argue, they argue, and they they get after it
and by the way, you better bring facts and you
better be good at it. But I didn't come from
a family that that did that, and I it was
harsh for me, and it took me aback and I
(35:53):
had to realize, this is their love language. This is
how they speak love. And if you can hang and
you can contend in this arena, that's how you earn
their respect and you kind of, you know, mix it
up a little bit. But for me, that felt like
there was vitriol in the air and it was mean
and contentious, and I was taking it the wrong way.
And so I had to communicate that and it was
(36:15):
hard for me, and so that would have been my
favorite child in your book. Having that conversation was important
for us well.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
And sometimes it takes another person to help you understand
your family, right, So Lauren could have easily said, do
you right, That's how we communicate, That's how it is,
that's what I grew up with. But it sounds to
me like she was able to self reflect and understand. Gosh,
that is. That can be tough for someone who's and
you were grown up. It's not like you were a
child when you were coming into this relationship.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Oil is interesting, but I had to go back to
my childhood and Lauren and I had that conversation to
your point of being self reflective. Why didn't my family
discuss that way? Why weren't we you know, were we
just good Southern folk where we got you know, bless
your heart, bread sit under the rug and go on,
and we don't you know, don't talk about your feelings.
(37:04):
You swallow them, you know. And my family wasn't necessarily
like that. But those are the things you have to
question of Why didn't we talk like that?
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Yeah, I mean, there are so many people that I
spoke to who had very you know, young people who
had very old fashion views on sex and masturbation and
monogamy non monogamy, and some of them went to Catholic school.
Some of their families never talked to them about it,
and you know, it was they had to figure something out,
(37:36):
you know, in these relationships.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Because most of the time, we just start having sex, right,
That's why you know you're in a relationship. You start
having sex, and sometimes it's good, it's sometimes it's great.
Sometimes you just kind of keep going and if something's
wrong and you're not saying something that's huge, you could
get out of a great relationship. And if you had
just asked a question or two, you could have broached
(37:59):
that object.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
There's a great story in the book about this woman
who met someone and their chemistry was incredible, right, they
did talk about stuff, and then they went to have
sex and it was horrendous, and she thought, I have
to end this relationship. I can't be with someone I
can't have sex with. And she spoke to this man
(38:23):
and she sort of made the decision, I'm going to
go for it, and he was receptive to learning about
how to have better sex with her. Based. You know,
he was with someone for many years. That's what he
thought sex was, and they were together for more than
a decade because they had the conversation about it.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Let's start the conversation.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
And it is scary to bring up something like that.
It is.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It is. Yeah, there are things that are easier than
others and stuff that's in the bedroom and sex because again,
we've we've made it so taboo, we've made it so
off limits that You're right, it's scary.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Do you You and Lauren have various check ins with
each other, do check in about certain things.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Again, Lauren is such a great communicator, one of the
many reasons why I love her. We it's impossible not
to check in.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
That's amazing. She set up a great structure.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
She really has. We are constantly communicating. We constantly talk
to the point where you know, she knows that, like
I know, women have a lot more words to get
out during the day. I know you might be done,
so she'll let me go to sleep. But yeah, no,
we That's one thing that's definitely different from my first
marriage was just I'm such a better communicator, and I
(39:37):
really thought I was. Honestly, I thought I was a
very caring, attentive, communicative guy, especially for a guy. You know,
men were not the smartest animals in the world. But
I thought I was above average and good and I
was decent at it, but not compared to what I
needed to be. And that's why I think, you know,
your book is so imperative for people to die into
(40:00):
for their relationship. I think it's invaluable.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Thank you. I mean, look by the way, I think
you're being a little hard on yourself. I think you know,
for the first relationship that you were in, you needed
to be a different kind of communicator for it to succeed.
But actually you have to find the right mode of
communication for you in the partnership that you're in. Right,
so there should be a great base level. But but
(40:23):
don't try to be something that you're not anything.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Well, and we were children, you know, you're you know,
getting together in your teens and getting married in your
early twenties. I mean, our frontal lobes weren't even formed yet.
So we have to give ourselves some grace, yes.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
And that's part of this is giving yourself grace.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Lindsay, I could go on for days on this. I
love this and I think eventually we need to work together.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
I mean, I just all the ideas, Chris, all the ideas.
I did watch you, I watched you host, I watched you,
you know, live this life. And I think what you've
experienced is is so great. And I because you've seen
so much love. I I'm just so grateful that you're
willing to explore this kind of love with me. That's,
(41:05):
you know, not being alone on a beach on an island,
but creating that same passion through communication. So I'm so
grateful to you for reading this book and enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
It's it's really my pleasure. And yeah, for most of
us that can't just jet off to Bora Bora and
solve all our problems. We have to live in the
real world with children and jobs and parents and things,
and we have to you know, we have to do
the work. And that's that's part of it, and so
this but this book makes it fun.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
The work is fun.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
The work is fun. It's and by the way, as
you said, most times you dive into some of these
conversations and it gets really intimate and you you'll, trust me,
You'll you'll reap the rewards. Lindsey thank you, Thank you
so much. I appreciate it. The book Romances and Practicalities
drops January twenty fifth. Wherever books are found, and where
(41:57):
can we find you? To find you on socials. To
find the book on socials.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Find me on social at Lindsay Jill Roth on all socials.
You can go to my website, you can go to Amazon,
you can google my name with Chris Harrison now and
you know we're linked forever.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
So we are well. And I'm glad that you mentioned
before we came on. You and I were chatting and
you and I had taught worked when I was on
Larry King Live. One of the great highlights of my
career was making it on with Larry King, one of
the great interviewers. And you worked side by side with
him for years.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
And you had a great interview with him. He's such
a curious man, or he was, and you guys really
had a wonderful conversation that day.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, I love people that just dive in, like you said,
you know, he was a good, good impetus and maybe
foreshadowing for your book because he was so good at
just I'm just diving in. I'm going to ask the question.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Look, he said to me once, and I do mention
this at the back of the book. He said, you know, Lindsay,
I didn't date women, I married them, and that always
stuck with me.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Interesting. Yeah, yeah, is up.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
There, please ask some questions. I don't know how I'm
married since he's been up there now, but I hope
he's asking some questions. Well.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
I hope when we make that transition, we get the
wisdom to start asking the right questions. Lindsey Jill Roth,
thank you for your time. Congratulations on the book, look
forward to it dropping on January twenty fifth, and thanks
for being on the Most Dramatic podcast Ever. Thanks Chris,
thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most
Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a
(43:29):
review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you
next time.
Hosts And Creators
Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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