December 1, 2023 • 34 mins
The LadyGang educates Chris on girl math, scheduling sex and serving fireball at your wedding.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is the most dramatic podcast ever. And iHeartRadio podcast.
Chris Harrison coming toy from the home office in Austin,
Texas today, and man, do I have a great show.
I have a gang of women joining me today. This
is something I've been looking forward to because these are
three women that I respect so much. They have they
(00:25):
really not just broke the mold. They created the mold
in podcasting and creating this genre that many of us
have gotten into. They are the Lady Gang. That is
Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vannick and Kelty and
Becca and Jack created a podcast called The Lady Gang
(00:45):
back in twenty fifteen. But they have become so much
more than that. They have created this community of women,
and they have written books. They have over one hundred
and ninety million downloads, they have won People's Choice Award.
They've done it all, and they have been doing it.
They're going on their ninth year of the Lady Gang,
(01:06):
and they've had their ups and downs. They've been controversial,
but they've stayed true to themselves and they are always
unbelievably honest. And that's why I thought, let's have this conversation.
And I know most of them. Jactually the only one
I don't know very well, Becca, who lives here in Austin,
was actually at our wedding. And Kelty Night is somebody
(01:27):
that I have known for years because while I was
on the Bachelor, she was in the entertainment business, and
then I was in the entertainment business doing red carpets
as well, worked alongside her. So I have a healthy
respect for Kelty and really for all of them, and
I'm so excited that they are joining me on the
show today, the most dramatic podcast ever is joined by
(01:49):
the Lady Gang. I don't know where is everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
We've got two in la and one in Austin.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, yes, first of all, all four of us are
married now because I just joined the ranks with Lauren Zima,
who you all know very well. We'll talk about Jack
got married in France.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
In France, Yeah, September twelfth. We've got like two months
on our belt. So feeling really successful.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So you've been doing this a lot longer than I have.
You're an old married woman. Laura and I are just
getting into this. We're still in that honeymoon phase. Has
the honeymoon phase already worn off.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, but no.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I mean my husband is a musician, so he travels
for a living, so we are literally all over the place.
So our entire life is sort of like a honeymoon.
So we've been traveling NonStop since then, so I haven't
gotten a second to breathe.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Someone asked Laura and if we were going to do
a honeymoon. I was like, yeah, our life is kind
of like a honeymoon. We're constantly going. We don't have
time to just stop and go to Bora Bora for
a week. Yeah, we'll end up there eventually. So was
everybody at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yep, these two bitches are at the wedding. They actually
were my I didn't have flower girls. They were my
fire fireball girls. So they handed out fireball shots to
everybody before I walked down the aisle to like get
everybody in the mood and like Lucy goosey.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
So and we went viral, Chris Harrison, we went really viral.
The internet really likes old lady handing out fireball instead
of a young flower girl.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
So did that played that really hit the mark?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Really hit the mark? Did you really?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Then we reached out to fireball for a sponsorship, and
it was cricket, so you know you fireball.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, so Kelty, thanks. They're no longer sponsoring this show either.
I would think that fireball would have to be imported
to France. I don't Did they have those little fireball
things in France? Is that a thing?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
No? So my parents ended up stuffing Well. I only
had fifty six gusts at my wedding, so it wasn't
like I needed to get over there.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, it's so.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Much fut of that way, but yeah, my parents stuffed
all the little mini fireball shots in their checked suitcases, so.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
They brought in illegal fireball shots.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, it was worth it.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
You're never allowed to go to France Americans. Yes, exactly,
kind of bougie because you're in France.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I like like a highbrow, lowbrow situation.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
It was perfect, a.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Little bit country, little bit rock and roll. And so
exactly how was your wedding? You said small. We did
the same thing when we did our Napa wedding, So
you did small? Quaint? Where was it?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So we rented out a chateau in France. It wasn't
exactly quaint. The chateau was pretty ship that it was
kind of bougie, but like also not because a chateau
is just like a big house.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So I know, but it's all cool to say I
rented out a chateau. Yeah, but like it I rented
at a ranch, It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
It was also a bougie ranch.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
It was a bougie ranch.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
It's probably boogier than the chateau was.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
But yeah, when you say chateau, it's just like I
live in a house or I live in an enclave.
That's there's just that subtle difference. Yeah, Becca, You're right,
we did. It was a bougie as shit ranch here
in Austin, Texas, and it was we didn't get to
spend a lot of time together. There were so many
damn people there, and that's what worried me about having
(05:10):
a big wedding, And that's why Lauren and I did
the first one very small, so we could feel all
the feels, see everybody, and actually spend quality time with
my mom, my dad and her mom and actually connect
with everybody, and then have the big blowout in Austin,
because that's hard. It's it's I felt like I was
just floating around all night and then the next day
I'm like did I spend time with anybody?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
You made arounds. I feel like you and Lauren both
did a really good job. I mean kind of is
is your job ingrained and you to like walk around
and make everybody feel comfortable what you did and host
I mean literally host wedding literally. I have to say though,
as I'm sure you've to discussed your wedding on the podcast,
but as someone who just got to be there and
(05:53):
witnessed your love, it was one of the most moving
evenings of my life. You too, are so madly in love.
And when you just asked Jack if the you know
has worn off, the newly weed whatever, I sort of
feel like you and Lauren are never going to get there.
I feel like your love is so afresh and alive
(06:14):
and so fun. There's just something about the two of you.
It really is so magical. It was awesome.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Thank you felt it felt that way. And one thing
about l Z that I instantly connected with and we
had the chemistry when we first started dating five and
a half years ago, is we just had this crazy
chemistry where we love really hard, and we love each
other constantly, and we're always talking and we're always you know,
leaving notes, and we're always we continue to date and
(06:40):
treat ourselves that way and give each other little gifts
and stuff, and so you're right, it's it's always been
that kind of honeymoon phase. And look at ebbs and
flows like every relationship and it's not like we don't fight,
and it's not, you know, all perfect. I don't want
anyone to think that any relationship is perfect, but it
really is different than any other relationship I've ever had
in my life, which is really fun when you realize
(07:00):
it can be like that. And I don't know, you know,
if you guys feel the same. Is that the stage
in life we're at, you know, I have older kids
and we can spend that quality time together loving each other.
I'm not sure if one begets the other or if
maybe we just got lucky, but I think timing has
something to do with it.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Well.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I also think it helps that you you had been
married before. I actually, with all my single girlfriends right
now that were in our late thirties early forties, I'm like,
find a guy who has been married, because I think
that you come into it not totally irrational, with like
hearts and rainbows and flowers. Can you hear my child screaming.
(07:39):
So sorry. Speaking of the honeymoon phase with people walking,
I don't really wipe it out, no, but I think
that that's a little bit like you didn't have you
knew it took work, and you also when you decided
it was right the second time, I think you have
to be so sure, and you seem so absolutely sure
(08:00):
and confident in what this is. So I don't know,
I think it's a I think it's a good thing
that you guys found each other in this phase of life.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I think Lauren put it best. She goes, I know
it's very specific, but I really recommend that everybody the
second time around get married to a dad who has
older kids. You can just walk in be an empty nester.
I go, it's a very specific niche, but it's working.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
You missed all of the hard work and you just
gotta like chill with adults.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Kind of yeah, But Lauren has a lot of a
lot of her girlfriends. They have young kids and they're
going through it like you are, Becca, and so Lauren's like,
I don't know, it's kind of nice. Kids are in
college already. It's really super.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
Are you guys gonna have kid kids together.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
No, we're not going to have kid kids of any sort.
Baby babies are kid kids. We really we have a
hard time keeping an orchid alive. I haven't figured that out.
And so we you know, we don't even have a
dog because we like to kind of get up and go.
And but in all seriousness, that is a conversation Kelty
that we had early on. And I had dated other people.
(09:07):
I mean, I was single for ten or eleven years
post divorce and really spent some time and figured myself
out and got the kids to a certain age and
really came to a time in my life where I
wasn't necessarily looking for it. But it hit me when
I met Lauren, and I was open to it. And
we had an early, pretty early discussion when I realized
she was different and somebody very special in my life.
(09:27):
And I just was very blunt and I'm like this,
you know, I have kids. I hit the lottery. I
have somehow have two beautiful children and they've made it
this far in life and I'm not looking to start over.
And I'm already looking at that next stage of my life.
And she had because of the circumstances in her life
with her dad and raising really her siblings and she
(09:50):
really didn't want to go down that route either, and
so it was something that we had talked about for sure.
And it's a it's a conversation you got.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
To have and so people don't have it early in
their relationships, which is so crazy. You hear about people
that are dating for years and they finally had that
conversation and they've wasted you know, five years of their lives.
So that's such an important thing to get out of
the way, to stop wasting your time.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
No, I think happiness sometimes is just being, you know,
wanting the same thing out of your life.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
And we see it so much in the Lady Gang.
In our Lady Gang Facebook group is you know, so.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Many women that are like here, I am been with
him six years, or we have kids or whatever, and
then all of a sudden he's told me his dream
is to live in Hawaii and be a surfer and
he quit his job, and like you know, and listen,
people change over time, absolutely one hundred percent, but those
core things like are you someone that wants to be
(10:46):
a Jack Vanik and wants to be around people all
the time? Are you a keeltie that you're like, I
want to be alone. Please don't take me out of
my house like you.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
You know, do you want kids?
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Are you a becca? Do you find yourself moving around
like you have to? You have to want the same
sort of lifestyle and the same thing, like core value stuff.
It can't just be like are you hot? Am I
track to you? Do you have fun together?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Like? Do we? You know?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Love only gets you so far, too, love literally gets
you so far, And then it's.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Important to have those conversations. And you're right. People do
change and that happens, especially when you marry young. I
mean that's I did that. I was married at twenty three.
I think Lauren was married at twenty five. And you
are not the same. I was a boy and you
grew up to be a man, and we grew up
and went different directions. But we have friends. And I'm
sure y'all talk about this too, that they said at
(11:36):
the beginning, I don't want to have kids. I'm not
looking to be a dad or I'm not looking to
be a mom, And you still take that leap and
you get married thinking you're going to change them. If
someone tells you who they are before you get married,
take that as a beautiful sign that they're actually telling
you who they are. You're not having to figure that
out and thinking that you're going to change somebody man, woman, child,
(12:00):
anything that is such a bad mistake. It's such a
red flag of thinking, oh, they'll change over time.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
You just can't.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
If someone's honest with you, take them at their room.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I can't start dating somebody looking at their potential. That's
like the biggest thing that I learned when I was dating.
It's like you need or especially when it comes to
wanting to marry somebody, it's like you are marrying. The
person that you're marrying is the person that you're marrying.
And obviously you said that you know, people change or whatever,
but not in those big ways. So it's like you
can't look at somebody being like, oh, I see the
(12:32):
potential of this being this way given a few years,
and you know we'll change together. But it's that's how
I feel like a lot of women will look at
a situation where it's like, dude, the guy is the guy,
and that's what.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
You're getting the guy. Chris Knight is never going to
be handy.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
My dad is back in town again, helping me fix
up my house because Chris Knight. I swear to God,
you guys, this man, I'm like on top of a
fence and I have a thing and I'm trying to
cut a wire, and I to him, Chris, can you
grab me a knife?
Speaker 5 (13:02):
This man brought me a steak knife. Okay, he brought me.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
A steak knife to the outdoors to help me cut
a wire.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Did you bring a steak at least?
Speaker 5 (13:10):
I'm on the.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Roof trying to fix the Wi Fi. And this man,
like you just know, I knew.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Man in your relationship.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
He told me I don't do handiness. I'm a spreadsheet
kind of guy. And I had to believe him because
he brought me a steak knife to cut a wife.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
You need an Excel spreadsheet though you are so set.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
If you need a contract, red, Chris n I can
help you out. He can negotiate it for you. But
he is not going to help you cook brunch for
his in laws or your family. And he's not going
to feed the dishwasher, and he's not gonna understand a
power tool.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Okay. So Becca and Jack tell me what are the
things that you knew heading into this relationship? And they
have not changed, like while you think about it, like
while you think about it, like like I know for
a fact, I will never have a cooked meal from
Lauren Zema ever. She cannot cook. She will burn boiled water.
(14:15):
I don't know how, but she does it. And so
she's not even allowed she's not even allowed to use
my pants. I have lauren pans, you know, And I
have my pants because I have beautiful, professional grade pants.
I love to cook. I love to make dinners. That's
something I get a lot of joy out of. And
Lauren sits there and will have her champagne or her
(14:36):
wine and we talk and I love that time when
we're in the kitchen. But I don't ever expect her
to make me a meal. That's not even a thing
I want, Like, oh babe, look, I surprise you just
don't do it. And you know, and I know that
she's not big on forms, like she's not big on
taxes and doing banking stuff like will I will always
(14:56):
do that for her? And and you know, conversely, she
this in our she'll do laundry, she'll do the organizing,
she'll do those are things she loves. And so there's
just certain things that I don't need that. And I'm
glad that I'm of age and I'm experienced enough in
my life that like, I'm not going to ever expect
that from her. I don't need that.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
She's your best accessory.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
She's a checuteri like plus plus like she looks great
on the end of the chicuterie board, wine in hand,
big sexy hair, yes, giving you a laugh.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
She also bought the charcuterie board as well.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And she's the vibe, right, She's the vibe. Like she's
like when we have parties now or anything, like, she
is the vibe. She is the person that everybody gravitates to.
She's the star of the show. And it is so
wonderful that I just get this kind of I'm kind
of like Kelsey, I kind of like sinking back in
the background and just getting to hang. And she puts
out such effort to exhaustion and that's what she's brilliant at.
(15:52):
And I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah it, I.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
Mean I don't want to hang.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I know, I don't want I don't want people.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
You really want to be there.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
He really dislikes people. I mean, it is it's tough
for us. I think Zach has always been the paperwork guy.
You know, he's he gets us set up with our
insurance and our you know, mortgages, and I have never once.
He just sends me stuff and I sign. It could
be dangerous. I'm not sure. We have a business manager
(16:21):
who hopefully is on my side, but I know that
I never have to deal with paperwork, and I'm so
grateful for that. We're both pretty tidy. When I started
dating him, I remember the amount of times he would
vacuum a floor was really impressive. He's still very much
into the vacuum. But then again, he has like annoying
habits like men. They'll be like I cleaned up, and
(16:44):
you'll look around and there's ten baseball caps like on
surfaces all over the house, where I'm like, that's not
where those things belong. It's like just little things like
I'm at his desk today and it's just weird things
like a kuzie. Why is there a kuzie on this desk?
It should be empty. So this guy is the same
guy that I married, and yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Jack, what about you?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Though, Jared is a little bit of the same, Like
he is a finances guy, which is great because money
scares me, Like I hate dealing with money. I'm like,
I'll make the money, but like you got to figure
out how we're investing it and how we're like moving
it around. So that's why I'm very excited about being
married because I can kind of like hand all of
those things over to him. He is also like so domestic.
(17:26):
I am not a domestic gal whatsoever. Like I do
not cook, I clean, but like I am not doing
any kind of like domestic things. He loves to keep
things tidy, he loves being at home. He loves like
doing all of those things. So like it's kind of
been like a good not gender reversal, but like he
likes doing that. He's also very handy. But the one
(17:48):
thing that I tried to like push him to when
we first started dating that he is just not going
to do, is he professionally is not going to take
initiative with things, Like I'm such an entrepreneurial spirit, like
I want to start it like five businesses at once.
Like I'm very savvy, I'm very scrappy, like I know
how to like use my potential in different ways. And
(18:11):
I kind of assumed that he would be that way too,
But he is like part of a cog in his band,
and he will get things done. He works for a podcast, like,
he'll get shit done and never miss a mark. But
he's not gonna like push himself to like start something new,
and that's something that he's not an innovator. And that's okay.
But like I when we first started him, like we're
(18:32):
gonna be this power couple, You're gonna start all your businesses.
I'm gonna do mine. We're gonna work together. But I'm like,
he's not like that, which is fine. He will follow
a role and he will get things done well, but
he's not gonna be, you know, coming up with all
of these ideas and starting a million businesses, which is fine.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
You hit on a subject, and I bet you have
all talked about this on The Lady Gang. But next
to kids and all that, it's probably the number one
reason people get married, get divorced, break ups, breaks up families,
and that's finances. And Lauren is like you, Jack, where
she does not want anything to do with it. But
it was important for me to show her our financial picture.
(19:24):
Obviously there was a big disparity between us. I've been
working for a lot longer than her and so it
was important for me to show her where we're at,
bring her into the fold, and let her understand these
are our investments, this is where things are, this is
where if I get hit by a bus, this is
who you call those things. And so she's getting more
and more excited about it, which is good. And I'm
just curious as three very successful women who very much
(19:48):
make I don't know your finances in your family, but
maybe you'll make even more than your husbands or whatever.
I don't know the situation, but how does that work
in each of your situations? Jack seems a little similar
to orn and I, But Kelty and Becca, what's it
like for the two of you as far as finances,
because I think it's really important that everybody at least
understands what's going on in their house.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yeah, Kelty, do you want to go first?
Speaker 4 (20:13):
You go ahead?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Okay, you know I I love money, I love making it,
I love thinking about it. Yes, all of the above.
So I am pretty in tune with what we have,
what we invest in, all those types of things. And
(20:36):
luckily Zach and I are very much on the same page.
But we're both the same kind of spenders, which I
think is also very important because there can be such
resentment in a relationship when one person's the spender and
one person's the really good saver, because that's kind of
a recipe for disaster, in my opinion, And nobody wants
to be given like allowances or be told what they
(20:58):
can spend money on what they can't. So Zach and
I are so much the same that I know if
he's spending money, it's money that can be spent and
should be spent. But I'm trying to get a little
bit more bold with He's really kind of very he's
in real estate, so it's like kind of like gambling
in a way, and I get very very nervous. I
(21:20):
am a Jew, and we get scarcity mentality with money,
and I get very nervous about big things going out
and maybe no guarantee of it coming back. But he's
sort of taught me with little baby steps here and
there that it's actually very fun and if you do
it the right way, it's like free money. So that's exciting.
Sometimes matter sometimes it just burns in the air, but no,
(21:43):
for the most part, like he's teaching me how to
do that, and so yeah, it's it's actually really great,
and I agree. It's like so many marriages fail because
of this one thing.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Oh my god, it's brettal Well, Chris Harrison, I'm a psychopath.
I it's so embarrassing how it comes out on podcasts.
So I started my first like savings account when I
was like twenty one in New York, and I made
this goal that I was going to like put twenty
five dollars a week. I was broke, I was living
(22:12):
in like with six people. I was go go dancing
for money, like but even then, I just really understood
compound interest and I was like, I'm gonna save money
and I'm gonna like be responsible because when I was
a kid, like my dad lost his job and I
just remember having to quit dance lessons and it was like,
it's stupid, like this happens all the time, but it
was traumatic for me, and I was like, I will
(22:32):
never not have like, I will never not be ready
and can take care of myself. And when I met Chris,
I remember he was an assistant to a music guy
at the time and I was had just quit dancing.
I think it literally I met him right like right
before I went on The Bachelor so that was that.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Long ago, which, by the way, Yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
I met Chris and I remember, you know, after we
got together, he was like, you're gonna out earn me
one day, like you out art me.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
And I was like, are you fucking crazy?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Like you got this year like at a company and whatever,
and he was right, like at some point, like TV,
when you get on TV, that the amount of money
you can make being on television and being a television
personality and stuff like that, like it does, it does grow.
And so I've just always been nuts. I look at
my money like probably two times a week. I have
flow charts and Boujo charts, and I'm really into investments.
(23:25):
I'm really into retirement. I had a goal that I
would have a certain amount of money by the time
I turned forty, and I hit that goal and I've
just been like kind of intense about it and and
I know where all my money is and like I'm
kind of crazy about that. But Chris doesn't tell me
what to spend. We don't really get in each other's lives.
(23:45):
We have things that we share, we have things that
we and then Chris is the one that's like there's
this AI technology and space, and I'm going to invest
in it, and I was like, please leave me alone.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
He was like, he was like, oh my god.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
He's like at the company, we're investing in houses that
burn your poop instead of putting it in the sewer lines.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
And I was like, God, damn it, I don't want
to invest it.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
But yeah, I think they actually invested in those houses
because Chris told us about it.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I think, yeah, burning houses there the rage.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
It's the future.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
That But like I have a very im not the
exact same background as Lauren, but like we both had
sort of like traumatic where we have to take care
of our family situation and and like when that happens
to you, I'm surprised that she's not more like intense
because when that happens for me, it made me want
to like be in charge.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
But also I'm very OCD about those kinds of things.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
And then but by the way, like we'll completely missus
zero when I'm paying a bill, so it's like I'm
super on it, and then I skim and like instead
of paying fifteen hundred dollars, I pay one hundred and
fifty dollars and then I get another bill.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
So it's the TV side of you that comes through
every now and then. That's what we do.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
I just can't. I just can't make it.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
It's amazing to me that people will have a conversation,
say about kids or whatever, getting into a relationship, and
they don't think or see the signs about finances, like
how much debt are you bringing into this relationship? You know,
and as you get older you don't have to worry
as much about those things. But it is crazy to
me you don't have those conversations of who spends more,
(25:15):
how do you spend? Because I agree beca If you don't,
if you're not somewhat aligned in those things and the
way you live, it will be catastrophic. It is something
that will drive you crazy. And to me, the biggest
deal breaker is the I'm putting you on an allowance,
Like you're not eight years old. You're not a child.
Anybody who's on an allowance just get out now run
(25:39):
And by the way, if you're such a child that
you need to be on an allowance, look in the
mirror and change yourself for God's sakes. And if you
can't have that conversation with your significant other of hey,
we got to rain this in or I don't love
how you're doing this. Instead, it's like I'm going to
give you two hundred dollars a week. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Well, I am going to be honest, I do lie
about how much money I spent at home Goods.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I'm gonna like Lauren Kelsey, I know, I don't know.
It's that's a don't ask, don't want to know policy.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I have.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
No. I'm pretty sure if we don't own home Goods,
we have a significant share.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Maybe sometimes investment you need to make.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Sometimes a box from the real rail will arrive and
I'll work and He'll be like, oh is that new,
And I'll be like, oh, no, I've had it forever,
but I haven't.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I just got it from the rail road this week.
Like you know, I'm full.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
That's the thing is laugh coo. Candles boxes show up
and Lauren's like, oh, we're doing an ad. I'm like,
are you you know? Did they really send out or
did you just spend five hundred dollars on candles that
you're sponsored by? And so there we were in Chicago
last week and that's where we did Thanksgiving and spent
some time with her mom, Donna, and her sister Christina,
and they went to Home Goods or teg Max. I
(26:51):
think they're all owned by the same person as a fact. Yeah, yeah,
So they came home with they took three trips in
and out of the car, filled up the entire little
foyer of the house. And I looked at Christina, Lauren's sister,
and I said, you know, y'all don't live here, Like,
where do you think all this stuff is going that
you bought. We have our own home goods. Come home
(27:12):
and buy this stuff. But they bought hundreds, if not
thousands of dollars worth of stuff at home Goods and
brought it all home. And I'm sure they're all taking
it back. That's a thing too. And maybe y'all can
explain to me this activity in this cycle of they
buy stuff and then they kind of look at it
and then they take it all back.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Oh yeah, it's it's called girl math. So if you
do a ton of shopping and you pretty much return
everything but maybe one or two things, when I make
that return, it's as if I'm being paid.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Yeah, I'm making money.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
So then the two things that I ended up staying
in my possession are free. It's free.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
So we spend one thousand dollars, but you got eight
hundred back. You made eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I made eight dollars. It's just so gratifying. I just
love it so much. And I love when I'm watching
Lauren stories and she says, I'm blocking Chris Harrison on this,
but look at these plates.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
We guys, we had a party. We had a Halloween party.
Not because either one of us wanted to have a
Halloween party. We were in the middle of getting married twice.
We had no time or effort for this. We had
a party because she went to Home Goods and bought
this stuff's so good, hundreds of dollars worth of things,
and she just wanted to put these out and have
(28:31):
a party.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Yeah, one hundred percent. One hundred percent. It's very it's
very Lauren Zema, but it's all of us. And that's
why she's such a relatable girl, because your life's a mess,
you don't know what's going you don't have time.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
I don't have time to.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
Have sex with my husband. But you better believe I
will be putting up my Christmas tree. Okay, I will
be Individually unwrapping every single one of my trinkets and
putting out.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
My noomes, my home goods nomes.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
On my cabinet. But I'm exhausted, and I'll have time
to return your text. I'm going to bed at eight,
but I got a Christmas tree.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
It's called Chasing Joy be married.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
Now ten years?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Ten years? Yeah, so that that's why you're like, we
may not have time for sex.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
No, I mean we make time, but I schedule, I
schedule everything. I'm very unfun schedule your sexual Yes, we're
not talking about this Chris literally yes, And you know what,
and you know what, Chris Night is very happy, so
he knows when he's getting an activity, he's ready.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
It's like this is his allowance. Yes, I have put
him on a sex allowance. That's what this is.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
You know what. Some people would be thrilled to be
on a sex allowance.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
What day of the week is activity day?
Speaker 5 (29:51):
Sunday?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Sunday really good, Jashay interesting? I know, it's an interesting choice.
I can see it because the Sunday scaries and so
it kind of takes you you have something to look
forward to on a Sunday. But yeah, maybe.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Christ Night is also never home he lives like with
other he lives another places people he lives with their family.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Do you think it's better for a man to know
that he has guaranteed every Sunday sex but no other
day of the week.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Or that's it's not no, but yes, okay, not every Sunday.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
I'm just in my defense sometimes I'll be like, like
a Thursday, but I'm.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Word okay, okay, but not a scheduled sex day and
they just have to They could get three times in
a week, they could get none, so some some weeks
it could be zero. Would they rather go with the
one guaranteed sex day?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
That's like a game show? Do you pick the guarante?
Speaker 5 (30:43):
This is a really good idea, sure thing?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
The bird in the hand in the hand or I
don't know if we bring up a bush here. It's
not the eighties, but I think this brings up something
very interesting again, another conversation of like, are you aligned
and sex life? Because you know, if you're not having it,
if you're not happy, if you're not if you feel
like you're not getting it, then babe, can we at
(31:07):
least set aside, especially we don't have young kids. When
you have young kids that changes everything. I mean, it
just there's nothing romantic about having little kids period. No,
not a thing. It's just you're not sexy. There's nothing
sexual about it. You're trying to sneak it in when
(31:28):
you can, but one of you is not feeling great
at the time, I'm sure, and it's sometimes it gets
a little robotic and you're just trying to get through it.
But let's say, all things being equal, I think at
least having that guarantee is better than going weeks without
it because then there's that disconnect.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
But then but then one week you're going five times.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
That's fantastic if you are, if you're able to do that,
if you yeah, if anybody's well, there's the hotel sex,
which is fantastic. Everybody loves hotel sex. But not having
that connection is also very big. And again, sex isn't everything,
the physicality isn't everything. But at the same time, you
need that connection and there should be that connection in
(32:10):
your life exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
And I feel like if you set aside time for me,
what works is that if you set a side time
and you're like, this is going to be time that
like for us, and it can be the full fantasy
of whatever you want it to be, live your life,
but like I don't wanna, but then we like actually
have time together and connect where our lives are so
crazy instead of like transactional, like let's just get this
(32:33):
over with on you know, a Wednesday in the shower
like it's it is about. The connection is about like
remembering that you like each other. And the girls are
blushing and Chris is gonna fucking hate that I'm talking about.
We don't have that.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
We talk about this all the time.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
You don't have video. But I love the fact that
behind Kelty right now is a calendar. I mean this
just like this sums up Keilty to a tee here
yea that there is a calendar and I can't see
it clearly, but I don't know if like Sundays are
penciled in like this is.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
This is a this is a work calendar. But I
do have Yeah, no, sex is not on there. My
dad's in town right now. I will add it in
when he leaves.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Whenever I come to l A, I usually stay with
Kelty to get work done. And I do know that
if it is a Sunday, I gotta high tail it
out of there. Because it's just sex day and I
gotta get out.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Well, there is something exciting to the fact that if
you know what's coming up, and the whole sensual nature
of texting each other, talking about it, planning it and
all that.
Speaker 5 (33:32):
Okay, well we don't do that.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Will you do wear more costumes than most women?
Speaker 5 (33:38):
What's the next topic.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
On The Bachelor?
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Kelty? Were you roxy heart this past Sunday in the bedroom?
Speaker 5 (33:47):
I was not, but I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
I have the costume still, right, I'm gonna know they
didn't let me keep it, but I will be what
they did.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
No, that was that was for TV. Jack, Nothing's real.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Oh, nothing's real.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
TV's My mom is like. My mom's like, oh my god,
I can't believe that that you keep that costume. I
was like, Mom, it's TV. Nothing is real.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Like you definitely don't want that costume back now, Mom?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Nope, not after Sunday.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Not after activity Sunday.
Speaker 5 (34:16):
Oh my god, ladies.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Look, I hate to do this, but there has been
so much we've already talked about. But there's so many
more things I got to get to. We're not done
with this yet. So if you don't mind we're gonna
take a break, and we're gonna break this up into
two parts. More with the Lady Gang next time on
the Most Dramatic Podcast Ever. Thanks for listening. Follow us
(34:40):
on Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod Ever, and make
sure to write us a review and leave us five stars.
I'll talk to you next time.
This is the most dramatic podcast ever. And iHeartRadio podcast.
Chris Harrison coming toy from the home office in Austin,
Texas today, and man, do I have a great show.
I have a gang of women joining me today. This
is something I've been looking forward to because these are
three women that I respect so much. They have they
(00:25):
really not just broke the mold. They created the mold
in podcasting and creating this genre that many of us
have gotten into. They are the Lady Gang. That is
Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vannick and Kelty and
Becca and Jack created a podcast called The Lady Gang
(00:45):
back in twenty fifteen. But they have become so much
more than that. They have created this community of women,
and they have written books. They have over one hundred
and ninety million downloads, they have won People's Choice Award.
They've done it all, and they have been doing it.
They're going on their ninth year of the Lady Gang,
(01:06):
and they've had their ups and downs. They've been controversial,
but they've stayed true to themselves and they are always
unbelievably honest. And that's why I thought, let's have this conversation.
And I know most of them. Jactually the only one
I don't know very well, Becca, who lives here in Austin,
was actually at our wedding. And Kelty Night is somebody
(01:27):
that I have known for years because while I was
on the Bachelor, she was in the entertainment business, and
then I was in the entertainment business doing red carpets
as well, worked alongside her. So I have a healthy
respect for Kelty and really for all of them, and
I'm so excited that they are joining me on the
show today, the most dramatic podcast ever is joined by
(01:49):
the Lady Gang. I don't know where is everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
We've got two in la and one in Austin.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, yes, first of all, all four of us are
married now because I just joined the ranks with Lauren Zima,
who you all know very well. We'll talk about Jack
got married in France.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
In France, Yeah, September twelfth. We've got like two months
on our belt. So feeling really successful.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So you've been doing this a lot longer than I have.
You're an old married woman. Laura and I are just
getting into this. We're still in that honeymoon phase. Has
the honeymoon phase already worn off.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, but no.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I mean my husband is a musician, so he travels
for a living, so we are literally all over the place.
So our entire life is sort of like a honeymoon.
So we've been traveling NonStop since then, so I haven't
gotten a second to breathe.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Someone asked Laura and if we were going to do
a honeymoon. I was like, yeah, our life is kind
of like a honeymoon. We're constantly going. We don't have
time to just stop and go to Bora Bora for
a week. Yeah, we'll end up there eventually. So was
everybody at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yep, these two bitches are at the wedding. They actually
were my I didn't have flower girls. They were my
fire fireball girls. So they handed out fireball shots to
everybody before I walked down the aisle to like get
everybody in the mood and like Lucy goosey.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
So and we went viral, Chris Harrison, we went really viral.
The internet really likes old lady handing out fireball instead
of a young flower girl.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
So did that played that really hit the mark?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Really hit the mark? Did you really?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Then we reached out to fireball for a sponsorship, and
it was cricket, so you know you fireball.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, so Kelty, thanks. They're no longer sponsoring this show either.
I would think that fireball would have to be imported
to France. I don't Did they have those little fireball
things in France? Is that a thing?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
No? So my parents ended up stuffing Well. I only
had fifty six gusts at my wedding, so it wasn't
like I needed to get over there.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, it's so.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Much fut of that way, but yeah, my parents stuffed
all the little mini fireball shots in their checked suitcases, so.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
They brought in illegal fireball shots.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, it was worth it.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
You're never allowed to go to France Americans. Yes, exactly,
kind of bougie because you're in France.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I like like a highbrow, lowbrow situation.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
It was perfect, a.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Little bit country, little bit rock and roll. And so
exactly how was your wedding? You said small. We did
the same thing when we did our Napa wedding, So
you did small? Quaint? Where was it?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So we rented out a chateau in France. It wasn't
exactly quaint. The chateau was pretty ship that it was
kind of bougie, but like also not because a chateau
is just like a big house.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So I know, but it's all cool to say I
rented out a chateau. Yeah, but like it I rented
at a ranch, It doesn't.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
It was also a bougie ranch.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
It was a bougie ranch.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
It's probably boogier than the chateau was.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
But yeah, when you say chateau, it's just like I
live in a house or I live in an enclave.
That's there's just that subtle difference. Yeah, Becca, You're right,
we did. It was a bougie as shit ranch here
in Austin, Texas, and it was we didn't get to
spend a lot of time together. There were so many
damn people there, and that's what worried me about having
(05:10):
a big wedding, And that's why Lauren and I did
the first one very small, so we could feel all
the feels, see everybody, and actually spend quality time with
my mom, my dad and her mom and actually connect
with everybody, and then have the big blowout in Austin,
because that's hard. It's it's I felt like I was
just floating around all night and then the next day
I'm like did I spend time with anybody?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
You made arounds. I feel like you and Lauren both
did a really good job. I mean kind of is
is your job ingrained and you to like walk around
and make everybody feel comfortable what you did and host
I mean literally host wedding literally. I have to say though,
as I'm sure you've to discussed your wedding on the podcast,
but as someone who just got to be there and
(05:53):
witnessed your love, it was one of the most moving
evenings of my life. You too, are so madly in love.
And when you just asked Jack if the you know
has worn off, the newly weed whatever, I sort of
feel like you and Lauren are never going to get there.
I feel like your love is so afresh and alive
(06:14):
and so fun. There's just something about the two of you.
It really is so magical. It was awesome.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Thank you felt it felt that way. And one thing
about l Z that I instantly connected with and we
had the chemistry when we first started dating five and
a half years ago, is we just had this crazy
chemistry where we love really hard, and we love each
other constantly, and we're always talking and we're always you know,
leaving notes, and we're always we continue to date and
(06:40):
treat ourselves that way and give each other little gifts
and stuff, and so you're right, it's it's always been
that kind of honeymoon phase. And look at ebbs and
flows like every relationship and it's not like we don't fight,
and it's not, you know, all perfect. I don't want
anyone to think that any relationship is perfect, but it
really is different than any other relationship I've ever had
in my life, which is really fun when you realize
(07:00):
it can be like that. And I don't know, you know,
if you guys feel the same. Is that the stage
in life we're at, you know, I have older kids
and we can spend that quality time together loving each other.
I'm not sure if one begets the other or if
maybe we just got lucky, but I think timing has
something to do with it.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Well.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I also think it helps that you you had been
married before. I actually, with all my single girlfriends right
now that were in our late thirties early forties, I'm like,
find a guy who has been married, because I think
that you come into it not totally irrational, with like
hearts and rainbows and flowers. Can you hear my child screaming.
(07:39):
So sorry. Speaking of the honeymoon phase with people walking,
I don't really wipe it out, no, but I think
that that's a little bit like you didn't have you
knew it took work, and you also when you decided
it was right the second time, I think you have
to be so sure, and you seem so absolutely sure
(08:00):
and confident in what this is. So I don't know,
I think it's a I think it's a good thing
that you guys found each other in this phase of life.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I think Lauren put it best. She goes, I know
it's very specific, but I really recommend that everybody the
second time around get married to a dad who has
older kids. You can just walk in be an empty nester.
I go, it's a very specific niche, but it's working.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
You missed all of the hard work and you just
gotta like chill with adults.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Kind of yeah, But Lauren has a lot of a
lot of her girlfriends. They have young kids and they're
going through it like you are, Becca, and so Lauren's like,
I don't know, it's kind of nice. Kids are in
college already. It's really super.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
Are you guys gonna have kid kids together.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
No, we're not going to have kid kids of any sort.
Baby babies are kid kids. We really we have a
hard time keeping an orchid alive. I haven't figured that out.
And so we you know, we don't even have a
dog because we like to kind of get up and go.
And but in all seriousness, that is a conversation Kelty
that we had early on. And I had dated other people.
(09:07):
I mean, I was single for ten or eleven years
post divorce and really spent some time and figured myself
out and got the kids to a certain age and
really came to a time in my life where I
wasn't necessarily looking for it. But it hit me when
I met Lauren, and I was open to it. And
we had an early, pretty early discussion when I realized
she was different and somebody very special in my life.
(09:27):
And I just was very blunt and I'm like this,
you know, I have kids. I hit the lottery. I
have somehow have two beautiful children and they've made it
this far in life and I'm not looking to start over.
And I'm already looking at that next stage of my life.
And she had because of the circumstances in her life
with her dad and raising really her siblings and she
(09:50):
really didn't want to go down that route either, and
so it was something that we had talked about for sure.
And it's a it's a conversation you got.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
To have and so people don't have it early in
their relationships, which is so crazy. You hear about people
that are dating for years and they finally had that
conversation and they've wasted you know, five years of their lives.
So that's such an important thing to get out of
the way, to stop wasting your time.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
No, I think happiness sometimes is just being, you know,
wanting the same thing out of your life.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
And we see it so much in the Lady Gang.
In our Lady Gang Facebook group is you know, so.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Many women that are like here, I am been with
him six years, or we have kids or whatever, and
then all of a sudden he's told me his dream
is to live in Hawaii and be a surfer and
he quit his job, and like you know, and listen,
people change over time, absolutely one hundred percent, but those
core things like are you someone that wants to be
(10:46):
a Jack Vanik and wants to be around people all
the time? Are you a keeltie that you're like, I
want to be alone. Please don't take me out of
my house like you.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
You know, do you want kids?
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Are you a becca? Do you find yourself moving around
like you have to? You have to want the same
sort of lifestyle and the same thing, like core value stuff.
It can't just be like are you hot? Am I
track to you? Do you have fun together?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Like? Do we? You know?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Love only gets you so far, too, love literally gets
you so far, And then it's.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Important to have those conversations. And you're right. People do
change and that happens, especially when you marry young. I
mean that's I did that. I was married at twenty three.
I think Lauren was married at twenty five. And you
are not the same. I was a boy and you
grew up to be a man, and we grew up
and went different directions. But we have friends. And I'm
sure y'all talk about this too, that they said at
(11:36):
the beginning, I don't want to have kids. I'm not
looking to be a dad or I'm not looking to
be a mom, And you still take that leap and
you get married thinking you're going to change them. If
someone tells you who they are before you get married,
take that as a beautiful sign that they're actually telling
you who they are. You're not having to figure that
out and thinking that you're going to change somebody man, woman, child,
(12:00):
anything that is such a bad mistake. It's such a
red flag of thinking, oh, they'll change over time.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
You just can't.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
If someone's honest with you, take them at their room.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I can't start dating somebody looking at their potential. That's
like the biggest thing that I learned when I was dating.
It's like you need or especially when it comes to
wanting to marry somebody, it's like you are marrying. The
person that you're marrying is the person that you're marrying.
And obviously you said that you know, people change or whatever,
but not in those big ways. So it's like you
can't look at somebody being like, oh, I see the
(12:32):
potential of this being this way given a few years,
and you know we'll change together. But it's that's how
I feel like a lot of women will look at
a situation where it's like, dude, the guy is the guy,
and that's what.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
You're getting the guy. Chris Knight is never going to
be handy.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
My dad is back in town again, helping me fix
up my house because Chris Knight. I swear to God,
you guys, this man, I'm like on top of a
fence and I have a thing and I'm trying to
cut a wire, and I to him, Chris, can you
grab me a knife?
Speaker 5 (13:02):
This man brought me a steak knife. Okay, he brought me.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
A steak knife to the outdoors to help me cut
a wire.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Did you bring a steak at least?
Speaker 5 (13:10):
I'm on the.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Roof trying to fix the Wi Fi. And this man,
like you just know, I knew.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Man in your relationship.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
He told me I don't do handiness. I'm a spreadsheet
kind of guy. And I had to believe him because
he brought me a steak knife to cut a wife.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
You need an Excel spreadsheet though you are so set.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
If you need a contract, red, Chris n I can
help you out. He can negotiate it for you. But
he is not going to help you cook brunch for
his in laws or your family. And he's not going
to feed the dishwasher, and he's not gonna understand a
power tool.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Okay. So Becca and Jack tell me what are the
things that you knew heading into this relationship? And they
have not changed, like while you think about it, like
while you think about it, like like I know for
a fact, I will never have a cooked meal from
Lauren Zema ever. She cannot cook. She will burn boiled water.
(14:15):
I don't know how, but she does it. And so
she's not even allowed she's not even allowed to use
my pants. I have lauren pans, you know, And I
have my pants because I have beautiful, professional grade pants.
I love to cook. I love to make dinners. That's
something I get a lot of joy out of. And
Lauren sits there and will have her champagne or her
(14:36):
wine and we talk and I love that time when
we're in the kitchen. But I don't ever expect her
to make me a meal. That's not even a thing
I want, Like, oh babe, look, I surprise you just
don't do it. And you know, and I know that
she's not big on forms, like she's not big on
taxes and doing banking stuff like will I will always
(14:56):
do that for her? And and you know, conversely, she
this in our she'll do laundry, she'll do the organizing,
she'll do those are things she loves. And so there's
just certain things that I don't need that. And I'm
glad that I'm of age and I'm experienced enough in
my life that like, I'm not going to ever expect
that from her. I don't need that.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
She's your best accessory.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
She's a checuteri like plus plus like she looks great
on the end of the chicuterie board, wine in hand,
big sexy hair, yes, giving you a laugh.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
She also bought the charcuterie board as well.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And she's the vibe, right, She's the vibe. Like she's
like when we have parties now or anything, like, she
is the vibe. She is the person that everybody gravitates to.
She's the star of the show. And it is so
wonderful that I just get this kind of I'm kind
of like Kelsey, I kind of like sinking back in
the background and just getting to hang. And she puts
out such effort to exhaustion and that's what she's brilliant at.
(15:52):
And I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah it, I.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
Mean I don't want to hang.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I know, I don't want I don't want people.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
You really want to be there.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
He really dislikes people. I mean, it is it's tough
for us. I think Zach has always been the paperwork guy.
You know, he's he gets us set up with our
insurance and our you know, mortgages, and I have never once.
He just sends me stuff and I sign. It could
be dangerous. I'm not sure. We have a business manager
(16:21):
who hopefully is on my side, but I know that
I never have to deal with paperwork, and I'm so
grateful for that. We're both pretty tidy. When I started
dating him, I remember the amount of times he would
vacuum a floor was really impressive. He's still very much
into the vacuum. But then again, he has like annoying
habits like men. They'll be like I cleaned up, and
(16:44):
you'll look around and there's ten baseball caps like on
surfaces all over the house, where I'm like, that's not
where those things belong. It's like just little things like
I'm at his desk today and it's just weird things
like a kuzie. Why is there a kuzie on this desk?
It should be empty. So this guy is the same
guy that I married, and yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Jack, what about you?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Though, Jared is a little bit of the same, Like
he is a finances guy, which is great because money
scares me, Like I hate dealing with money. I'm like,
I'll make the money, but like you got to figure
out how we're investing it and how we're like moving
it around. So that's why I'm very excited about being
married because I can kind of like hand all of
those things over to him. He is also like so domestic.
(17:26):
I am not a domestic gal whatsoever. Like I do
not cook, I clean, but like I am not doing
any kind of like domestic things. He loves to keep
things tidy, he loves being at home. He loves like
doing all of those things. So like it's kind of
been like a good not gender reversal, but like he
likes doing that. He's also very handy. But the one
(17:48):
thing that I tried to like push him to when
we first started dating that he is just not going
to do, is he professionally is not going to take
initiative with things, Like I'm such an entrepreneurial spirit, like
I want to start it like five businesses at once.
Like I'm very savvy, I'm very scrappy, like I know
how to like use my potential in different ways. And
(18:11):
I kind of assumed that he would be that way too,
But he is like part of a cog in his band,
and he will get things done. He works for a podcast, like,
he'll get shit done and never miss a mark. But
he's not gonna like push himself to like start something new,
and that's something that he's not an innovator. And that's okay.
But like I when we first started him, like we're
(18:32):
gonna be this power couple, You're gonna start all your businesses.
I'm gonna do mine. We're gonna work together. But I'm like,
he's not like that, which is fine. He will follow
a role and he will get things done well, but
he's not gonna be, you know, coming up with all
of these ideas and starting a million businesses, which is fine.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
You hit on a subject, and I bet you have
all talked about this on The Lady Gang. But next
to kids and all that, it's probably the number one
reason people get married, get divorced, break ups, breaks up families,
and that's finances. And Lauren is like you, Jack, where
she does not want anything to do with it. But
it was important for me to show her our financial picture.
(19:24):
Obviously there was a big disparity between us. I've been
working for a lot longer than her and so it
was important for me to show her where we're at,
bring her into the fold, and let her understand these
are our investments, this is where things are, this is
where if I get hit by a bus, this is
who you call those things. And so she's getting more
and more excited about it, which is good. And I'm
just curious as three very successful women who very much
(19:48):
make I don't know your finances in your family, but
maybe you'll make even more than your husbands or whatever.
I don't know the situation, but how does that work
in each of your situations? Jack seems a little similar
to orn and I, But Kelty and Becca, what's it
like for the two of you as far as finances,
because I think it's really important that everybody at least
understands what's going on in their house.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yeah, Kelty, do you want to go first?
Speaker 4 (20:13):
You go ahead?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Okay, you know I I love money, I love making it,
I love thinking about it. Yes, all of the above.
So I am pretty in tune with what we have,
what we invest in, all those types of things. And
(20:36):
luckily Zach and I are very much on the same page.
But we're both the same kind of spenders, which I
think is also very important because there can be such
resentment in a relationship when one person's the spender and
one person's the really good saver, because that's kind of
a recipe for disaster, in my opinion, And nobody wants
to be given like allowances or be told what they
(20:58):
can spend money on what they can't. So Zach and
I are so much the same that I know if
he's spending money, it's money that can be spent and
should be spent. But I'm trying to get a little
bit more bold with He's really kind of very he's
in real estate, so it's like kind of like gambling
in a way, and I get very very nervous. I
(21:20):
am a Jew, and we get scarcity mentality with money,
and I get very nervous about big things going out
and maybe no guarantee of it coming back. But he's
sort of taught me with little baby steps here and
there that it's actually very fun and if you do
it the right way, it's like free money. So that's exciting.
Sometimes matter sometimes it just burns in the air, but no,
(21:43):
for the most part, like he's teaching me how to
do that, and so yeah, it's it's actually really great,
and I agree. It's like so many marriages fail because
of this one thing.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Oh my god, it's brettal Well, Chris Harrison, I'm a psychopath.
I it's so embarrassing how it comes out on podcasts.
So I started my first like savings account when I
was like twenty one in New York, and I made
this goal that I was going to like put twenty
five dollars a week. I was broke, I was living
(22:12):
in like with six people. I was go go dancing
for money, like but even then, I just really understood
compound interest and I was like, I'm gonna save money
and I'm gonna like be responsible because when I was
a kid, like my dad lost his job and I
just remember having to quit dance lessons and it was like,
it's stupid, like this happens all the time, but it
was traumatic for me, and I was like, I will
(22:32):
never not have like, I will never not be ready
and can take care of myself. And when I met Chris,
I remember he was an assistant to a music guy
at the time and I was had just quit dancing.
I think it literally I met him right like right
before I went on The Bachelor so that was that.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Long ago, which, by the way, Yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
I met Chris and I remember, you know, after we
got together, he was like, you're gonna out earn me
one day, like you out art me.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
And I was like, are you fucking crazy?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Like you got this year like at a company and whatever,
and he was right, like at some point, like TV,
when you get on TV, that the amount of money
you can make being on television and being a television
personality and stuff like that, like it does, it does grow.
And so I've just always been nuts. I look at
my money like probably two times a week. I have
flow charts and Boujo charts, and I'm really into investments.
(23:25):
I'm really into retirement. I had a goal that I
would have a certain amount of money by the time
I turned forty, and I hit that goal and I've
just been like kind of intense about it and and
I know where all my money is and like I'm
kind of crazy about that. But Chris doesn't tell me
what to spend. We don't really get in each other's lives.
(23:45):
We have things that we share, we have things that
we and then Chris is the one that's like there's
this AI technology and space, and I'm going to invest
in it, and I was like, please leave me alone.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
He was like, he was like, oh my god.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
He's like at the company, we're investing in houses that
burn your poop instead of putting it in the sewer lines.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
And I was like, God, damn it, I don't want
to invest it.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
But yeah, I think they actually invested in those houses
because Chris told us about it.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I think, yeah, burning houses there the rage.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
It's the future.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
That But like I have a very im not the
exact same background as Lauren, but like we both had
sort of like traumatic where we have to take care
of our family situation and and like when that happens
to you, I'm surprised that she's not more like intense
because when that happens for me, it made me want
to like be in charge.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
But also I'm very OCD about those kinds of things.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
And then but by the way, like we'll completely missus
zero when I'm paying a bill, so it's like I'm
super on it, and then I skim and like instead
of paying fifteen hundred dollars, I pay one hundred and
fifty dollars and then I get another bill.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
So it's the TV side of you that comes through
every now and then. That's what we do.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
I just can't. I just can't make it.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
It's amazing to me that people will have a conversation,
say about kids or whatever, getting into a relationship, and
they don't think or see the signs about finances, like
how much debt are you bringing into this relationship? You know,
and as you get older you don't have to worry
as much about those things. But it is crazy to
me you don't have those conversations of who spends more,
(25:15):
how do you spend? Because I agree beca If you don't,
if you're not somewhat aligned in those things and the
way you live, it will be catastrophic. It is something
that will drive you crazy. And to me, the biggest
deal breaker is the I'm putting you on an allowance,
Like you're not eight years old. You're not a child.
Anybody who's on an allowance just get out now run
(25:39):
And by the way, if you're such a child that
you need to be on an allowance, look in the
mirror and change yourself for God's sakes. And if you
can't have that conversation with your significant other of hey,
we got to rain this in or I don't love
how you're doing this. Instead, it's like I'm going to
give you two hundred dollars a week. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Well, I am going to be honest, I do lie
about how much money I spent at home Goods.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I'm gonna like Lauren Kelsey, I know, I don't know.
It's that's a don't ask, don't want to know policy.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I have.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
No. I'm pretty sure if we don't own home Goods,
we have a significant share.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Maybe sometimes investment you need to make.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Sometimes a box from the real rail will arrive and
I'll work and He'll be like, oh is that new,
And I'll be like, oh, no, I've had it forever,
but I haven't.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I just got it from the rail road this week.
Like you know, I'm full.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
That's the thing is laugh coo. Candles boxes show up
and Lauren's like, oh, we're doing an ad. I'm like,
are you you know? Did they really send out or
did you just spend five hundred dollars on candles that
you're sponsored by? And so there we were in Chicago
last week and that's where we did Thanksgiving and spent
some time with her mom, Donna, and her sister Christina,
and they went to Home Goods or teg Max. I
(26:51):
think they're all owned by the same person as a fact. Yeah, yeah,
So they came home with they took three trips in
and out of the car, filled up the entire little
foyer of the house. And I looked at Christina, Lauren's sister,
and I said, you know, y'all don't live here, Like,
where do you think all this stuff is going that
you bought. We have our own home goods. Come home
(27:12):
and buy this stuff. But they bought hundreds, if not
thousands of dollars worth of stuff at home Goods and
brought it all home. And I'm sure they're all taking
it back. That's a thing too. And maybe y'all can
explain to me this activity in this cycle of they
buy stuff and then they kind of look at it
and then they take it all back.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Oh yeah, it's it's called girl math. So if you
do a ton of shopping and you pretty much return
everything but maybe one or two things, when I make
that return, it's as if I'm being paid.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Yeah, I'm making money.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
So then the two things that I ended up staying
in my possession are free. It's free.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
So we spend one thousand dollars, but you got eight
hundred back. You made eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I made eight dollars. It's just so gratifying. I just
love it so much. And I love when I'm watching
Lauren stories and she says, I'm blocking Chris Harrison on this,
but look at these plates.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
We guys, we had a party. We had a Halloween party.
Not because either one of us wanted to have a
Halloween party. We were in the middle of getting married twice.
We had no time or effort for this. We had
a party because she went to Home Goods and bought
this stuff's so good, hundreds of dollars worth of things,
and she just wanted to put these out and have
(28:31):
a party.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Yeah, one hundred percent. One hundred percent. It's very it's
very Lauren Zema, but it's all of us. And that's
why she's such a relatable girl, because your life's a mess,
you don't know what's going you don't have time.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
I don't have time to.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
Have sex with my husband. But you better believe I
will be putting up my Christmas tree. Okay, I will
be Individually unwrapping every single one of my trinkets and
putting out.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
My noomes, my home goods nomes.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
On my cabinet. But I'm exhausted, and I'll have time
to return your text. I'm going to bed at eight,
but I got a Christmas tree.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
It's called Chasing Joy be married.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
Now ten years?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Ten years? Yeah, so that that's why you're like, we
may not have time for sex.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
No, I mean we make time, but I schedule, I
schedule everything. I'm very unfun schedule your sexual Yes, we're
not talking about this Chris literally yes, And you know what,
and you know what, Chris Night is very happy, so
he knows when he's getting an activity, he's ready.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
It's like this is his allowance. Yes, I have put
him on a sex allowance. That's what this is.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
You know what. Some people would be thrilled to be
on a sex allowance.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
What day of the week is activity day?
Speaker 5 (29:51):
Sunday?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Sunday really good, Jashay interesting? I know, it's an interesting choice.
I can see it because the Sunday scaries and so
it kind of takes you you have something to look
forward to on a Sunday. But yeah, maybe.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Christ Night is also never home he lives like with
other he lives another places people he lives with their family.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Do you think it's better for a man to know
that he has guaranteed every Sunday sex but no other
day of the week.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Or that's it's not no, but yes, okay, not every Sunday.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
I'm just in my defense sometimes I'll be like, like
a Thursday, but I'm.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Word okay, okay, but not a scheduled sex day and
they just have to They could get three times in
a week, they could get none, so some some weeks
it could be zero. Would they rather go with the
one guaranteed sex day?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
That's like a game show? Do you pick the guarante?
Speaker 5 (30:43):
This is a really good idea, sure thing?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
The bird in the hand in the hand or I
don't know if we bring up a bush here. It's
not the eighties, but I think this brings up something
very interesting again, another conversation of like, are you aligned
and sex life? Because you know, if you're not having it,
if you're not happy, if you're not if you feel
like you're not getting it, then babe, can we at
(31:07):
least set aside, especially we don't have young kids. When
you have young kids that changes everything. I mean, it
just there's nothing romantic about having little kids period. No,
not a thing. It's just you're not sexy. There's nothing
sexual about it. You're trying to sneak it in when
(31:28):
you can, but one of you is not feeling great
at the time, I'm sure, and it's sometimes it gets
a little robotic and you're just trying to get through it.
But let's say, all things being equal, I think at
least having that guarantee is better than going weeks without
it because then there's that disconnect.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
But then but then one week you're going five times.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
That's fantastic if you are, if you're able to do that,
if you yeah, if anybody's well, there's the hotel sex,
which is fantastic. Everybody loves hotel sex. But not having
that connection is also very big. And again, sex isn't everything,
the physicality isn't everything. But at the same time, you
need that connection and there should be that connection in
(32:10):
your life exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
And I feel like if you set aside time for me,
what works is that if you set a side time
and you're like, this is going to be time that
like for us, and it can be the full fantasy
of whatever you want it to be, live your life,
but like I don't wanna, but then we like actually
have time together and connect where our lives are so
crazy instead of like transactional, like let's just get this
(32:33):
over with on you know, a Wednesday in the shower
like it's it is about. The connection is about like
remembering that you like each other. And the girls are
blushing and Chris is gonna fucking hate that I'm talking about.
We don't have that.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
We talk about this all the time.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
You don't have video. But I love the fact that
behind Kelty right now is a calendar. I mean this
just like this sums up Keilty to a tee here
yea that there is a calendar and I can't see
it clearly, but I don't know if like Sundays are
penciled in like this is.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
This is a this is a work calendar. But I
do have Yeah, no, sex is not on there. My
dad's in town right now. I will add it in
when he leaves.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Whenever I come to l A, I usually stay with
Kelty to get work done. And I do know that
if it is a Sunday, I gotta high tail it
out of there. Because it's just sex day and I
gotta get out.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Well, there is something exciting to the fact that if
you know what's coming up, and the whole sensual nature
of texting each other, talking about it, planning it and
all that.
Speaker 5 (33:32):
Okay, well we don't do that.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Will you do wear more costumes than most women?
Speaker 5 (33:38):
What's the next topic.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
On The Bachelor?
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Kelty? Were you roxy heart this past Sunday in the bedroom?
Speaker 5 (33:47):
I was not, but I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
I have the costume still, right, I'm gonna know they
didn't let me keep it, but I will be what
they did.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
No, that was that was for TV. Jack, Nothing's real.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Oh, nothing's real.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
TV's My mom is like. My mom's like, oh my god,
I can't believe that that you keep that costume. I
was like, Mom, it's TV. Nothing is real.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Like you definitely don't want that costume back now, Mom?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Nope, not after Sunday.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Not after activity Sunday.
Speaker 5 (34:16):
Oh my god, ladies.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Look, I hate to do this, but there has been
so much we've already talked about. But there's so many
more things I got to get to. We're not done
with this yet. So if you don't mind we're gonna
take a break, and we're gonna break this up into
two parts. More with the Lady Gang next time on
the Most Dramatic Podcast Ever. Thanks for listening. Follow us
(34:40):
on Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod Ever, and make
sure to write us a review and leave us five stars.
I'll talk to you next time.
Hosts And Creators
Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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