March 17, 2025 • 33 mins
The world was introduced to Michelle Lally on Bravo’s “The Valley”. Now, Michelle is pulling back the curtain and telling her story.
From her divorce to her friendships to raising her daughter, Michelle is on her Pursuit of Sassiness in this next chapter as she’s bringing you along for the ride.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Well, this is exciting. I am here today to do
my very first podcast, something I never imagine doing and
definitely out of my comfort zone. I feel like all
my life, all I've ever done is do things that
are uncomfortable for me, which makes me grow as a person.
And so I was literally born just such a quiet
(00:29):
and shy person, and I feel like every single day
I'm always out of my element and doing something uncomfortable.
Most of you probably know me from a show I'm
on called The Valley, and I'm doing this because I
want you to know who I really am. I know
that I'm hard to read at times. It's something I've
heard all my life. I'm more shy and quiet than
(00:51):
most people on reality TV. But this is my life
and I want you all to know the real me.
I do think in order to understand who I am,
I am you really need to kind of know where
I come from and how I got here. So I
have two immigrant parents that came to LA in nineteen
eighty five. My mom is from Guiliacan, Mexico, and my
(01:13):
dad is from Tehran, Iran. They were both born and
raised in their countries and decided to move to LA
in their thirties. My dad was super intelligent, very strict
with me, and he spoke five languages, hence why I
have a little accent. I was raised by two parents
that came from two different sides of the world, and
(01:35):
I loved it because I got to experience two different cultures, food, languages, lifestyles.
But they were both super loving and I couldn't have
had a better upbringing In terms of love. I saw
my parents truly love each other, respect one another, and
(01:56):
it was an ideal marriage, at least in terms of
my eyes. Prior to my parents getting married, my mom
was actually married in Mexico and had my brother and sister,
but her first husband passed away in a plane crash,
and that is one of the reasons why she went
to La. That is when she met my dad, and
(02:16):
my dad said, come to LA I want to get married.
And he raised my brother and sister as if it
was his own children. So I never even got to
feel that I had a half brother and sister. To me,
they were just my brother and sister. So for a
very long time, everything was amazing with my parents, my
brother and sister, you would call it like the perfect family.
(02:41):
I didn't see them fight, they respected each other. My
dad was romantic. It was just like a very loving,
normal household. And when I was about twelve years old,
things slowly started changing with my dad's personality and mental state.
Was studying psychology, she was getting a master's degree, and
(03:03):
my mom would tell my sister the things that my
dad was saying and doing, and we all had to
sit down and have a conversation with him that he
needed to get help and maybe get diagnosed. And that
is when I remember. My dad picked me up from
school one day and sat me down, and it was
the first time I saw my dad cry. And he
(03:25):
asked me if it was okay if he divorced my
mom and if he could leave me because he didn't
think it was safe for me to be around. And
I said yes. So my life drastically changed in a
matter of a day. I went from loving parents to
suddenly my mom has to get her act together and
figure out how to financially take care of me, to
(03:49):
get a job, and to do everything else at the house.
I was raised in West Hollywood and then we went
to a really nice neighborhood in South Pasadena. That's where
I lived with my parents and I went from living
to a very nice community to all of a sudden,
I had to move to San Diego by the border,
a city called sanny Sidro, and everybody lived by the
(04:11):
Mexican border, so you either lived in Mexico or in
Sandy Sidro, and everybody spoke Spanish and it was just
like a completely different culture change overnight for me. So
fast forward to a crazy high school where I have
girls just want to fight me, and it was just
really hard because they called me the white girl. So
(04:32):
I never really quite fit in because when I lived
in La I was the Mexican Persian girl with the accent,
and then I go to a Mexican school and then
I'm the white girl, so I was just always out
of place. Then I go to college and I have
to support myself because my brother and sister had a degree,
so I have to of course have a degree just
because I want to be like everybody else. And that
(04:53):
was always important to my dad. He always thought, no
matter what school, even with a new general, that you
need to have that knowledge and background. So to me,
I was like, Okay, I'm going to go to cal
State get a degree, but I also have to pay
for school and there was a Hooters nearby, so I
was like, what is the best way to have a
night job, get paid well, and go to school. So
(05:16):
I was a Hooters girl for about five to six years.
And I was naturally a very quiet and shy girl.
So working at Hooters was actually one of the best
things that I could have ever done for myself because
I opened up for my show. I had to have
conversations with people that I didn't necessarily want to have
conversations with, and it just helped me grow into who
(05:37):
I am today. So I thank Hooters for that. So
once I started working at Hooters, I started making really
good money, and I realized, like I was a hustler
by heart. I always wanted more. I was like, how
can I make more money? How can I work harder?
How can I just live a nice life? And that
was the first time that I got a tape of
(06:01):
having some of my own money while I'm in college.
And so when I graduated, I knew I got a
business degree. I knew I wanted to be a real
estate agent. My brother owned. My brother was a very
successful lender. So I graduated, I went and moved in
with my brother while I was studying to get my
real estate license and I was his assistant. He told me,
(06:24):
if you want to make really good money, the only
way to do that is to prospect, and you do
that by three ways, but the most important is one
cold calling. So you literally have a list of five
hundred numbers and you call one after the other and
you set up listing appointments, and then you go door
(06:44):
to door. So you go on a street, you pick
a street, and you're gonna knock on fifty houses and
you're going to introduce yourself and ask people if they
want to sell their house. And that is literally how
I first did it. And it was kind of crazy
because I got my license and in the matter of
eight months, I sold nineteen houses all by myself. And
(07:07):
I worked for a prestigious company in San Diego, co
WOA Banker, and I got Rookie of the Year. My
brother at the time, so I started doing really well
and he's like, have you ever watched Million Dollar Listing
New York? I had never seen it, so I start
watching it and I'm like, holy shit, I want to
be just like these guys. They sell ten million dollar condos,
(07:28):
twenty million they're hustlers, they wear nice suits. Like I
want to be that version in a woman. So I
google all of their names and email and I email
all of them and Ryan Sarhant emails me back and
he says, I'm opening up an office in LA. I'll
be there next week if you want to have a meeting.
(07:49):
So I did. I remember that meeting with him. I
was very nervous because I'm like, oh my god, there's
this guy on TV and opening up an office. And
I remember driving down LA and I was in Beverly Hills.
It's they call it the Beverly Hills Flats and it's
(08:09):
close to Rodale Drive and I was just driving by myself,
not knowing the area, and I'm like, wow, holy shit,
if I just sell one or two of these houses,
I'm gonna make so much money. So I impressed him
with what I told him, and I think he saw
what a go getter I was and that I just
had huge dreams for myself, and he hired me immediately.
(08:33):
He said, you can work under my team. I'm opening
up sir Hanna in LA. And mind you, I didn't
know anybody in La. I was from there when I
was a child, but I didn't talk to people I
went to school with. So I went from being such
a successful agent at what twenty four years old in
San Diego, already knowing that if I stayed there, like
(08:56):
I would make millions of dollars. But I just had
this fire in me and I'm like, I need to
do this. I want more in my life, Like I
want to live in LA. I want to live in
Beverly Hills. I want to meet millionaires and celebrities, and
I want that life for myself. So I literally told
my family, I'm like, sorry, I'm leaving. And I found
an apartment online and I moved. And it was very
(09:19):
scary because I'm like, I don't have any source of income,
and I went I started from scratch. So here I
am in LA working for nest Seekers, which was a
(09:41):
huge company in New York, but it wasn't big in LA.
They were just starting their brand in LA. And so
after being there for a couple of weeks, everybody kept
saying the most prestigious, the highest, the hardest place to
work for is Hilton and Highland. They only hire really
top agents. They are the best of the best. So
(10:03):
what do I do I call Hilton and Highland and
I set up a meeting and I have an interview
with the bosses. Rick Hilton, which is Kathy Hilton's husband,
met with me and again I think you could just
I always had this fire in me, especially in my twenties,
because I just thought anything's possible, and if you do
(10:24):
the work, it will show and I'll be okay, I'll
figure it out. I did it in San Diego, I
can do it again. And they saw that and they
actually hired me, not being a big agent in La
so I just start working at Hilton and Highland. And
after a couple of weeks, I remember walking in one
day and I was on the phone having a conversation
with my mom and I had to pick up some
(10:45):
marketing materials and Jesse Lally was working at Hilton and
Highland and he saw me and so he follows me
down the street, hoping that I get off the phone,
which I don't. So then he actually messages me on FAMEOK,
this is back in twenty fifteen. He messages me on
Facebook and he says something cheesy. It was like I
(11:09):
don't even remember. It was something about air conditioning. It
was really hot, so I had never seen him in person.
When he messaged me, he had seen me and he
asked me, Hey, we have an office meeting on Tuesday.
Would you like to go out on a date with
me that night? And I said sure, and he's like, great,
why don't we have a cup of coffee before the
office meeting so you can get to know who I am,
(11:30):
and then we'll go out at night. So I see him,
and I think he's very handsome, but he does literally
all the wrong things any guy can ever do. He
sits down, apparently he had like twenty cups of coffee.
He doesn't ask me a single question about me. He's
(11:52):
just talking about, rambling on about himself. And then he's
he's saying things like, oh, I just got out of
a committed five year relationship and I don't want anything serious,
and I'm just looking like he's just that is not
what I wanted to hear. Mind you, in my mind,
I'm like, I need to be married before thirty. So
I was trying to find a serious boyfriend, a serious relationship,
(12:15):
and he's literally telling me the opposite of what I
want to hear. So I go to the office meeting,
I'm like, how am I going to get out of
this date? And so that night I text him, I'm
so sorry, I have a migraine, and I end up
going out with my girls. So this is the infamous
story because a lot of people I got feedback and
they're like, why would you Why would you have a
(12:36):
child with a one night stand. But I don't think
people realize that that is not what I was looking for.
I go out with my girlfriends. Yes, I get drunk,
and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna He's not husband material,
so I'm just gonna use him as a booty call,
and that is what I did. So the following day,
(12:57):
he actually acts totally normal. He's contact me, he's texting me,
he wants to see me, and we just start spending
every day together. And that is what I was looking for.
I wanted something serious. So it was very contradicting what
he first told me when he met me as to
how he was treating me and him and I started
going out a lot, going to restaurants, sitting at bars
(13:20):
and people. We were just organically having conversations with people
about the real estate market and about buying and selling,
and so we would meet people and they're like, oh,
we want to look for a house, and we're like, oh,
we can help you. So we just became partners without
even trying to be partners, because it just made sense,
like we can both help you, and so it just
(13:41):
organically happened. Where As soon as we started dating, we
were business partners and we started closing a lot of
deals together. Jesse and I were I think people get
confused because they saw the very end of our relationship,
but it was like that in the beginning. It was amazing,
(14:03):
it was easy. I thought. What I loved most about
Jesse is that I saw that we could build a
great life together, that I could have a partner, that
we could you know, we didn't have a lot of
money at the time, and throughout the years we were
doing bigger deals. We started from three million to ten
(14:25):
million to twenty million. We sold the house for forty million,
and I just saw that we could enjoy life, travel
and just do it together. And that's really what I
wanted because all my life I felt like I always
did everything on my own and I wanted that partner.
So Jesse and I were together for a long time
and things were really good. There were obviously red flags,
(14:48):
but when you're young, you don't really pay attention to them,
or you just think you brush them under the rug
and you just think it's going to be fine. And
for the most part, things were good, and I just thought,
nobody's perfect, it'll be okay, we'll figure it out and
just keep moving forward. You guys watched season one. Our
(15:09):
marriage didn't end up working, but I'll get back to
that in a second. While we were married, Jesse and
I are constantly going out meeting people, and we meet
two very important people, Jack's and Brittany. Apparently Jack's and
Jesse were roommates over twenty years ago. They lived in
New York City and they were trying to be actors
(15:30):
and models. They had a falling out, and I don't
really know what happened, and I think that's their story
to tell. So Jackson Jesse finally reconnected once Jesse and
I were married, and he introduced me to Brittany. I
remember when Brittany and I first met where we talked
about how old we were were the same age. Then
(15:53):
she mentioned she was a Hooters girl and I said
it too, and we're like, wait, what, We're both Hooter girls.
We were Hooter managers, and we just like, from that
moment on, we got it, because you know, once a
Hooter's girl, always a Hooters girl. I guess what I
really love about Brittany is that she was just a
happy person. No matter what, She's always happy. She was
(16:14):
very inviting, and she introduced me to everybody. So the
more I would hang out at Brittany's house, the more
I was meeting everybody. And then I ended up being
friends with Stasi, La, La, Sheena, Katie, just basically everybody.
And what's ironic is I would hang out with all
of these girls and people would send me messages and
I'm like, well, I've never seen Vanderpump Rules. I'm not
(16:36):
gonna watch it now because that would feel weird that
like I'm watching my friends on TV. So to this day,
I've never watched the show. So here I am back
in twenty eighteen. I'm married to Jesse. We have an
amazing friend group, and I finally have a group of
girlfriends that you know, I call my girlfriends, which I
never really had before growing up. Things are great. We
(17:01):
finally say we want to have a child, so I
get pregnant and we're looking forward. I always wanted a girl.
We get the news that we're having a girl in
twenty twenty, and what happens. COVID hits And actually, the
one of the biggest fears I ever had in life
was giving birth. I hate hospitals, I hate blood. I
can't stand any of those things. I'm like, how am
(17:24):
I going to have a child? It's my biggest fear.
I've thought about it since I'm a little girl. Crazy
but true. And so I'm eight months pregnant and then
we start hearing about COVID things. I'm like, what is
this COVID? And It'll be fine, And then suddenly in April,
the worst time to have a baby. I'm like, I
am scared out of my mind to have a child.
(17:46):
I can't do this on my own. So every single
day before I had a baby, I didn't even know
if I was going to be by myself or not
during labor. So April fifteen rolls around. I am a
week early and at night on the thirteenth, I I'm
sleeping and I wake up and I start having contractions
(18:07):
and I tell Jesse and he's like, wait as long
as you can, because people get sent back to the hospital.
So I let the guy sleep all night while I'm
having contractions at home by myself, and so I wait.
He finally wakes up and he's like relaxed, and he's like,
all right, are you ready to go to the hospital.
And I'm like shaking at this point, I'm like, we
need to go right now. And he's like, well, why
(18:30):
don't you have breakfast because they don't have good food
at the hospital, and then we can go. So he
makes me eggs and I immediately vomit the eggs and
he's like, I'm like, we need to go to the
hospital now. I don't think you understand I'm having a baby.
I don't even remember arriving, Like he had to get
a whale chair because I couldn't walk up to the elevator.
(18:50):
They're like, well, wait a minute, we have to check
if she's if she can stay. They're like, but by
the sound of it, I think she's good. So as
soon as I check and they're like, oh, yeah, she's
four centimeters, she's good. So they I go in the
hospital and they said there's very strict rules. People are
not allowed. I'm at the best hospital in La theaters
(19:12):
and it looks like ghost town, like it literally looks
like like the Walking Dead, like it was like walking
Dead at the hospital, like dark, nobody around, and they
put me in the last like dungeon room with no window.
I get anxiety just thinking about that day. So so
I arrived to the hospital and I said give me
(19:34):
that epidural immediately. And Jesse was very anti everything he
wanted natural and like, this is not happening. I'm four
centimeters and I'm gonna die, so give me it now.
So they gave it to me. And when I did
do the epidural, I was stuck at seven centimeters for
like a day, and so my doctor was like, you
(19:56):
have high pressure. I wasn't feeling well. He's like, if
we don't do someth thing about it, then we're gonna
have to do C section. And then Jesse starts arguing
with the doctor like, no, she's not gonna have there
was something he wanted to help induce me, and they're
arguing he's and finally my doctor is like, do you
want her to die or do you want to have
(20:16):
a healthy baby. We're doing this now, I'm overruling you,
and she's I'm doing it, and he did it, and
thank God, that night I delivered Isabella. So Jesse actually
got to be with Isabella for about ten minutes and
then he had to leave and they it was one
in the morning. They put me in my room and
I had no nurses. I had nobody around, nobody. I
(20:36):
didn't even know that. I couldn't get out of bed
and like walk to the bathroom and pee. Like when
I tried, I was like, oh, I like stitched up.
I couldn't do anything, so and even ringing the nurse button,
it took like thirty minutes to get a nurse. So
I just had the worst COVID baby experience that any
(20:59):
woman fears of. Then of course that happened to me.
So finally my life was checking off all the boxes
and everything was great. I wanted to have a husband,
(21:19):
I wanted to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, thank
the Lord, and everything seemed great. But once I had
a child, your life instantly changes as a mother, and
that is when things slowly started changing. And this is
the part that my marriage became a nightmare. It was
(21:41):
a very lonely time for me. But my world at
the time was my daughter. And my home, and unfortunately
that wasn't the same with Jesse. He continued his life
as if he was still kind of a single guy,
and I was expected to be at home, and he
really kind of stop communicating with me. He was gone
(22:03):
all the time, and even when he was home, he
was always on the phone or he had his vodka
on the rocks. And I never had that one on
one where somebody asked me how I'm doing, or would
have a conversation with me. And he was just getting
further away while I was becoming more of a mother.
He was not doing his part in trying to be
(22:24):
a father. A lot of people ask me why didn't
I leave sooner? When you're married, you don't just walk away.
It takes time, and us as women, it's like you're married.
I got married and I had no intention of ever
getting divorced. I wanted to be married to him for
the rest of my life. That was my mindset and
(22:44):
what I wanted as a goal of happiness. But he
changed and not for the better. I felt like I
grew and he was just going backwards in life and
I stay. I stayed as long as I did because
the unknown is super scary. I had no idea how
(23:05):
was I going to start all over in my thirties
now with the child and have to move out and
possibly get a new work at a different place. Because
we work at the same office, and my life with
Jesse was very intertwined. We had work together, our entire relationship,
we did a TV show together, we share a child together,
(23:28):
and it was just so scary to think that I
would be literally starting over from scratch. And it takes
a lot to be able to tell yourself like, this
is not what I deserved, this is not what I
want in my life, and I'm going to do something
about it and start over, even though it's going to
(23:49):
be one of the hardest things I have to do
in my life. So our relationship really started changing once
we had a child, and when Isabella was about one
years old, that's when we were introduced about possibly doing
a reality TV show together. And things weren't that bad.
There were you know, I thought there were bumpy roads
(24:12):
and ups and downs and marriages, so I just thought
this was something that was going to get better with time.
And then we get a call and they're like, well,
you're we're going to start doing this show soon, and
that was literally the worst time of our relationship, and
it was also the worst time of my life. I
had the worst news anybody could ever get before starting
(24:36):
to film a TV show. So before we start filming
the show, my mom comes to visit me in La
We go out to a restaurant and she actually thought
she had food poisoning because she wasn't feeling well the
following day, and I said, I felt fine, why don't
you go to the hospital or go to the doctor
and get a checkup. My mom had always gone to
the doctor's yearly get checkups. She was always proud of
(24:59):
how healthy she was was and didn't even have any
high blood pressure or anything like that. So she calls
me and she's like, I'm a little confused. They have
to do all these MRIs. We don't know what's happening.
So my sister immediately goes with my mom, and my
sister and Mom call me and she's like, Mom has
stage four cancer. And this is probably a week or
(25:24):
two before I start filming the show. So internally, I'm
going through such a difficult marriage and I'm confused because
I don't know what to do. I'm like, do I leave,
Do I stay? Do I do this TV show? My
mom has cancer? What does that mean? I've never known
anybody to be sick, let alone cancer, and it was
(25:47):
stage four, so they said she had to have surgery
immediately and then do chemo right after. So right, I
think it was a week before filming. I had to
go to San Diego be with my mom while she
had all of these surgeries, and then go into filming
while me and my husband want to kill each other
(26:09):
and everything is just horrible. And I thought naive of me.
But I had never seen reality TV. I had thought
I could just hide it and not say anything and
just keep it to myself. And now watching back the show,
I see how miserable I was and how much I
(26:29):
was actually going through mentally, and I tried to hide it.
And you know, I've heard that I look like a robot,
and I think it's because I was. I didn't know
how to handle it internally. I didn't know if was
my mom going to get better with chemo? Was she
going to die? Like? There was just so many unknowns,
(26:53):
and I could not at the time make the decision
whether I was going to stay or leave. One thing
I want to mention is before filming, there was a
point where Jesse and I were really bad and I
didn't even think about it, and I just sat him
down and I'm like, I want a divorce. This is horrible.
(27:14):
I'm going to get an apartment a block away and
we'll figure it out and we can do therapy. And
I remember doing it in my office because I just
didn't want him to change my mind, and he was
crying so much, and he it was a four hour
conversation and he really begged me, and he made me
feel like he woke up and was going to change,
(27:36):
and I was very vocal. I told him that I
was so unhappy and all of the things he did
were very severe. His drinking was very severe, his spending
habits was very severe, him never being home. It was
just it took a real toll on our relationship. And
so he promised me, and he said, give me a year,
(27:59):
and if you're unhappy in a year, I will walk
away and I will make sure you're taken care of.
I will make sure everything is good. And I said, well,
I owe that to our marriage and to our daughter.
And so I did stay because I wanted to give
him that last chance, so I gave him the chance,
(28:19):
and that's when we got the call that we were
going to start filming. So I was giving him the
opportunity when in fact I was already mentally done. And
Jesse can be very convincing, and he convinced me that
he was going to change and he was going to
do anything to fix the marriage, and he guaranteed me
(28:41):
and promised me that he would make sure that everything
would go smoothly even if I wanted to leave, and
that didn't happen. I should have known, but that didn't happen,
and I'm still struggling. But I'm happy that I left
because I'm not miserable every single day, and so much
(29:03):
has happened since then, and it's a very difficult divorce.
I think I'm going through one of the most difficult
and complicated divorce because I'm dealing with a difficult person,
and even though it should be easier, it's not. But
I'm trying to navigate that because I know that this
(29:24):
is not going to last forever. I was in a
really bad place mentally while filming, and it really showed
in my demeanor, and I was just so unhappy and
I wasn't true to myself. And finally, when we stopped filming,
I just realized, like, it's now or never. I have
(29:45):
a at the time two year old. I don't want
to do it when she's ten. Why am I going
to be unhappy year after year? This is not what
I signed up for. This isn't when I said I
do this is this was not the agreement. And so oh,
we had a wedding anniversary right after filming, and I
just told myself, like, do I want another wedding anniversary
(30:08):
and be miserable? And I said no. So I woke
up and I sat him down and I said, there
is nothing you can do or say to change my mind,
so please listen to what I have to say. And
I feel like I was very fair. I said, I
gave you the time, but I'm going to ask for
a divorce. Nothing's changed, and I want it to be
(30:32):
as easy as possible. I don't want to take your
child away. I want to be fifty to fifty. I
want to live near each other. I want to learn
to co parent and be friends with one another. And
I think that I couldn't have made it easier on him.
And I realized that I had a responsibility to show
(30:52):
my daughter what a healthy relationship was because I started
envisioning my parents, and I remember being three years old
and five and ten and looking at my parents in
love and my dad coming home and bringing my mom
and I flowers, and he would put music on and
dance and it was just such a happy household that
(31:16):
I thought to myself, Isabella doesn't even know what that
looks like. She's never even seen her dad kiss or
hug her mother, and that was not something that I
wanted her to grow up thinking that was normal. And
I really thought about her before anything, and I just
realized that this will be the best thing that I
(31:38):
ever do for my daughter. My mom was such a
strong woman, and I want to raise my daughter the
same way. I want her to look at me and
think one day when she grows up like my mom
was a strong woman and she did everything she could
to be happy, and so that I'm happy and have
a good life. And don't get me wrong, it's not
(32:02):
easy getting divorced, and there's different stages and it's difficult
before it gets better, and I'm in the heart of it,
and it is hard and dealing with lawyers and fighting
with an ex about custody or financials. It's not fun stuff,
but I think that in the end it's going to
(32:23):
be worth it for me and my daughter. And I
wanted to do this podcast because I want you to
know the different layers of me and to be able
to talk about friendships, marriage, divorce, co parenting, having a child,
being a mother, death, finding love again, business, real estate,
(32:46):
you name it. No topic is off limit. I have
felt a lot of support from friends and even on
Instagram people I don't know, and this is why I
want to share, so that I feel the support and
so that I can support you. So if there's anything
you want to know or want me to talk about,
please do share. I do read the comments. I see
the good ones and the bad ones, so whatever you want,
(33:10):
nothing is off limits. I've always been in the pursuit
of something, apparently ever since I was born. I've had
a difficult life, and I have always been in the
pursuit of happiness, of joy, and now sassiness. This isn't
just my own pursuit of sassiness, but it's all of us.
So I'm super excited that we're gonna go on this
(33:31):
journey together.
Well, this is exciting. I am here today to do
my very first podcast, something I never imagine doing and
definitely out of my comfort zone. I feel like all
my life, all I've ever done is do things that
are uncomfortable for me, which makes me grow as a person.
And so I was literally born just such a quiet
(00:29):
and shy person, and I feel like every single day
I'm always out of my element and doing something uncomfortable.
Most of you probably know me from a show I'm
on called The Valley, and I'm doing this because I
want you to know who I really am. I know
that I'm hard to read at times. It's something I've
heard all my life. I'm more shy and quiet than
(00:51):
most people on reality TV. But this is my life
and I want you all to know the real me.
I do think in order to understand who I am,
I am you really need to kind of know where
I come from and how I got here. So I
have two immigrant parents that came to LA in nineteen
eighty five. My mom is from Guiliacan, Mexico, and my
(01:13):
dad is from Tehran, Iran. They were both born and
raised in their countries and decided to move to LA
in their thirties. My dad was super intelligent, very strict
with me, and he spoke five languages, hence why I
have a little accent. I was raised by two parents
that came from two different sides of the world, and
(01:35):
I loved it because I got to experience two different cultures, food, languages, lifestyles.
But they were both super loving and I couldn't have
had a better upbringing In terms of love. I saw
my parents truly love each other, respect one another, and
(01:56):
it was an ideal marriage, at least in terms of
my eyes. Prior to my parents getting married, my mom
was actually married in Mexico and had my brother and sister,
but her first husband passed away in a plane crash,
and that is one of the reasons why she went
to La. That is when she met my dad, and
(02:16):
my dad said, come to LA I want to get married.
And he raised my brother and sister as if it
was his own children. So I never even got to
feel that I had a half brother and sister. To me,
they were just my brother and sister. So for a
very long time, everything was amazing with my parents, my
brother and sister, you would call it like the perfect family.
(02:41):
I didn't see them fight, they respected each other. My
dad was romantic. It was just like a very loving,
normal household. And when I was about twelve years old,
things slowly started changing with my dad's personality and mental state.
Was studying psychology, she was getting a master's degree, and
(03:03):
my mom would tell my sister the things that my
dad was saying and doing, and we all had to
sit down and have a conversation with him that he
needed to get help and maybe get diagnosed. And that
is when I remember. My dad picked me up from
school one day and sat me down, and it was
the first time I saw my dad cry. And he
(03:25):
asked me if it was okay if he divorced my
mom and if he could leave me because he didn't
think it was safe for me to be around. And
I said yes. So my life drastically changed in a
matter of a day. I went from loving parents to
suddenly my mom has to get her act together and
figure out how to financially take care of me, to
(03:49):
get a job, and to do everything else at the house.
I was raised in West Hollywood and then we went
to a really nice neighborhood in South Pasadena. That's where
I lived with my parents and I went from living
to a very nice community to all of a sudden,
I had to move to San Diego by the border,
a city called sanny Sidro, and everybody lived by the
(04:11):
Mexican border, so you either lived in Mexico or in
Sandy Sidro, and everybody spoke Spanish and it was just
like a completely different culture change overnight for me. So
fast forward to a crazy high school where I have
girls just want to fight me, and it was just
really hard because they called me the white girl. So
(04:32):
I never really quite fit in because when I lived
in La I was the Mexican Persian girl with the accent,
and then I go to a Mexican school and then
I'm the white girl, so I was just always out
of place. Then I go to college and I have
to support myself because my brother and sister had a degree,
so I have to of course have a degree just
because I want to be like everybody else. And that
(04:53):
was always important to my dad. He always thought, no
matter what school, even with a new general, that you
need to have that knowledge and background. So to me,
I was like, Okay, I'm going to go to cal
State get a degree, but I also have to pay
for school and there was a Hooters nearby, so I
was like, what is the best way to have a
night job, get paid well, and go to school. So
(05:16):
I was a Hooters girl for about five to six years.
And I was naturally a very quiet and shy girl.
So working at Hooters was actually one of the best
things that I could have ever done for myself because
I opened up for my show. I had to have
conversations with people that I didn't necessarily want to have
conversations with, and it just helped me grow into who
(05:37):
I am today. So I thank Hooters for that. So
once I started working at Hooters, I started making really
good money, and I realized, like I was a hustler
by heart. I always wanted more. I was like, how
can I make more money? How can I work harder?
How can I just live a nice life? And that
was the first time that I got a tape of
(06:01):
having some of my own money while I'm in college.
And so when I graduated, I knew I got a
business degree. I knew I wanted to be a real
estate agent. My brother owned. My brother was a very
successful lender. So I graduated, I went and moved in
with my brother while I was studying to get my
real estate license and I was his assistant. He told me,
(06:24):
if you want to make really good money, the only
way to do that is to prospect, and you do
that by three ways, but the most important is one
cold calling. So you literally have a list of five
hundred numbers and you call one after the other and
you set up listing appointments, and then you go door
(06:44):
to door. So you go on a street, you pick
a street, and you're gonna knock on fifty houses and
you're going to introduce yourself and ask people if they
want to sell their house. And that is literally how
I first did it. And it was kind of crazy
because I got my license and in the matter of
eight months, I sold nineteen houses all by myself. And
(07:07):
I worked for a prestigious company in San Diego, co
WOA Banker, and I got Rookie of the Year. My
brother at the time, so I started doing really well
and he's like, have you ever watched Million Dollar Listing
New York? I had never seen it, so I start
watching it and I'm like, holy shit, I want to
be just like these guys. They sell ten million dollar condos,
(07:28):
twenty million they're hustlers, they wear nice suits. Like I
want to be that version in a woman. So I
google all of their names and email and I email
all of them and Ryan Sarhant emails me back and
he says, I'm opening up an office in LA. I'll
be there next week if you want to have a meeting.
(07:49):
So I did. I remember that meeting with him. I
was very nervous because I'm like, oh my god, there's
this guy on TV and opening up an office. And
I remember driving down LA and I was in Beverly Hills.
It's they call it the Beverly Hills Flats and it's
(08:09):
close to Rodale Drive and I was just driving by myself,
not knowing the area, and I'm like, wow, holy shit,
if I just sell one or two of these houses,
I'm gonna make so much money. So I impressed him
with what I told him, and I think he saw
what a go getter I was and that I just
had huge dreams for myself, and he hired me immediately.
(08:33):
He said, you can work under my team. I'm opening
up sir Hanna in LA. And mind you, I didn't
know anybody in La. I was from there when I
was a child, but I didn't talk to people I
went to school with. So I went from being such
a successful agent at what twenty four years old in
San Diego, already knowing that if I stayed there, like
(08:56):
I would make millions of dollars. But I just had
this fire in me and I'm like, I need to
do this. I want more in my life, Like I
want to live in LA. I want to live in
Beverly Hills. I want to meet millionaires and celebrities, and
I want that life for myself. So I literally told
my family, I'm like, sorry, I'm leaving. And I found
an apartment online and I moved. And it was very
(09:19):
scary because I'm like, I don't have any source of income,
and I went I started from scratch. So here I
am in LA working for nest Seekers, which was a
(09:41):
huge company in New York, but it wasn't big in LA.
They were just starting their brand in LA. And so
after being there for a couple of weeks, everybody kept
saying the most prestigious, the highest, the hardest place to
work for is Hilton and Highland. They only hire really
top agents. They are the best of the best. So
(10:03):
what do I do I call Hilton and Highland and
I set up a meeting and I have an interview
with the bosses. Rick Hilton, which is Kathy Hilton's husband,
met with me and again I think you could just
I always had this fire in me, especially in my twenties,
because I just thought anything's possible, and if you do
(10:24):
the work, it will show and I'll be okay, I'll
figure it out. I did it in San Diego, I
can do it again. And they saw that and they
actually hired me, not being a big agent in La
so I just start working at Hilton and Highland. And
after a couple of weeks, I remember walking in one
day and I was on the phone having a conversation
with my mom and I had to pick up some
(10:45):
marketing materials and Jesse Lally was working at Hilton and
Highland and he saw me and so he follows me
down the street, hoping that I get off the phone,
which I don't. So then he actually messages me on FAMEOK,
this is back in twenty fifteen. He messages me on
Facebook and he says something cheesy. It was like I
(11:09):
don't even remember. It was something about air conditioning. It
was really hot, so I had never seen him in person.
When he messaged me, he had seen me and he
asked me, Hey, we have an office meeting on Tuesday.
Would you like to go out on a date with
me that night? And I said sure, and he's like, great,
why don't we have a cup of coffee before the
office meeting so you can get to know who I am,
(11:30):
and then we'll go out at night. So I see him,
and I think he's very handsome, but he does literally
all the wrong things any guy can ever do. He
sits down, apparently he had like twenty cups of coffee.
He doesn't ask me a single question about me. He's
(11:52):
just talking about, rambling on about himself. And then he's
he's saying things like, oh, I just got out of
a committed five year relationship and I don't want anything serious,
and I'm just looking like he's just that is not
what I wanted to hear. Mind you, in my mind,
I'm like, I need to be married before thirty. So
I was trying to find a serious boyfriend, a serious relationship,
(12:15):
and he's literally telling me the opposite of what I
want to hear. So I go to the office meeting,
I'm like, how am I going to get out of
this date? And so that night I text him, I'm
so sorry, I have a migraine, and I end up
going out with my girls. So this is the infamous
story because a lot of people I got feedback and
they're like, why would you Why would you have a
(12:36):
child with a one night stand. But I don't think
people realize that that is not what I was looking for.
I go out with my girlfriends. Yes, I get drunk,
and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna He's not husband material,
so I'm just gonna use him as a booty call,
and that is what I did. So the following day,
(12:57):
he actually acts totally normal. He's contact me, he's texting me,
he wants to see me, and we just start spending
every day together. And that is what I was looking for.
I wanted something serious. So it was very contradicting what
he first told me when he met me as to
how he was treating me and him and I started
going out a lot, going to restaurants, sitting at bars
(13:20):
and people. We were just organically having conversations with people
about the real estate market and about buying and selling,
and so we would meet people and they're like, oh,
we want to look for a house, and we're like, oh,
we can help you. So we just became partners without
even trying to be partners, because it just made sense,
like we can both help you, and so it just
(13:41):
organically happened. Where As soon as we started dating, we
were business partners and we started closing a lot of
deals together. Jesse and I were I think people get
confused because they saw the very end of our relationship,
but it was like that in the beginning. It was amazing,
(14:03):
it was easy. I thought. What I loved most about
Jesse is that I saw that we could build a
great life together, that I could have a partner, that
we could you know, we didn't have a lot of
money at the time, and throughout the years we were
doing bigger deals. We started from three million to ten
(14:25):
million to twenty million. We sold the house for forty million,
and I just saw that we could enjoy life, travel
and just do it together. And that's really what I
wanted because all my life I felt like I always
did everything on my own and I wanted that partner.
So Jesse and I were together for a long time
and things were really good. There were obviously red flags,
(14:48):
but when you're young, you don't really pay attention to them,
or you just think you brush them under the rug
and you just think it's going to be fine. And
for the most part, things were good, and I just thought,
nobody's perfect, it'll be okay, we'll figure it out and
just keep moving forward. You guys watched season one. Our
(15:09):
marriage didn't end up working, but I'll get back to
that in a second. While we were married, Jesse and
I are constantly going out meeting people, and we meet
two very important people, Jack's and Brittany. Apparently Jack's and
Jesse were roommates over twenty years ago. They lived in
New York City and they were trying to be actors
(15:30):
and models. They had a falling out, and I don't
really know what happened, and I think that's their story
to tell. So Jackson Jesse finally reconnected once Jesse and
I were married, and he introduced me to Brittany. I
remember when Brittany and I first met where we talked
about how old we were were the same age. Then
(15:53):
she mentioned she was a Hooters girl and I said
it too, and we're like, wait, what, We're both Hooter girls.
We were Hooter managers, and we just like, from that
moment on, we got it, because you know, once a
Hooter's girl, always a Hooters girl. I guess what I
really love about Brittany is that she was just a
happy person. No matter what, She's always happy. She was
(16:14):
very inviting, and she introduced me to everybody. So the
more I would hang out at Brittany's house, the more
I was meeting everybody. And then I ended up being
friends with Stasi, La, La, Sheena, Katie, just basically everybody.
And what's ironic is I would hang out with all
of these girls and people would send me messages and
I'm like, well, I've never seen Vanderpump Rules. I'm not
(16:36):
gonna watch it now because that would feel weird that
like I'm watching my friends on TV. So to this day,
I've never watched the show. So here I am back
in twenty eighteen. I'm married to Jesse. We have an
amazing friend group, and I finally have a group of
girlfriends that you know, I call my girlfriends, which I
never really had before growing up. Things are great. We
(17:01):
finally say we want to have a child, so I
get pregnant and we're looking forward. I always wanted a girl.
We get the news that we're having a girl in
twenty twenty, and what happens. COVID hits And actually, the
one of the biggest fears I ever had in life
was giving birth. I hate hospitals, I hate blood. I
can't stand any of those things. I'm like, how am
(17:24):
I going to have a child? It's my biggest fear.
I've thought about it since I'm a little girl. Crazy
but true. And so I'm eight months pregnant and then
we start hearing about COVID things. I'm like, what is
this COVID? And It'll be fine, And then suddenly in April,
the worst time to have a baby. I'm like, I
am scared out of my mind to have a child.
(17:46):
I can't do this on my own. So every single
day before I had a baby, I didn't even know
if I was going to be by myself or not
during labor. So April fifteen rolls around. I am a
week early and at night on the thirteenth, I I'm
sleeping and I wake up and I start having contractions
(18:07):
and I tell Jesse and he's like, wait as long
as you can, because people get sent back to the hospital.
So I let the guy sleep all night while I'm
having contractions at home by myself, and so I wait.
He finally wakes up and he's like relaxed, and he's like,
all right, are you ready to go to the hospital.
And I'm like shaking at this point, I'm like, we
need to go right now. And he's like, well, why
(18:30):
don't you have breakfast because they don't have good food
at the hospital, and then we can go. So he
makes me eggs and I immediately vomit the eggs and
he's like, I'm like, we need to go to the
hospital now. I don't think you understand I'm having a baby.
I don't even remember arriving, Like he had to get
a whale chair because I couldn't walk up to the elevator.
(18:50):
They're like, well, wait a minute, we have to check
if she's if she can stay. They're like, but by
the sound of it, I think she's good. So as
soon as I check and they're like, oh, yeah, she's
four centimeters, she's good. So they I go in the
hospital and they said there's very strict rules. People are
not allowed. I'm at the best hospital in La theaters
(19:12):
and it looks like ghost town, like it literally looks
like like the Walking Dead, like it was like walking
Dead at the hospital, like dark, nobody around, and they
put me in the last like dungeon room with no window.
I get anxiety just thinking about that day. So so
I arrived to the hospital and I said give me
(19:34):
that epidural immediately. And Jesse was very anti everything he
wanted natural and like, this is not happening. I'm four
centimeters and I'm gonna die, so give me it now.
So they gave it to me. And when I did
do the epidural, I was stuck at seven centimeters for
like a day, and so my doctor was like, you
(19:56):
have high pressure. I wasn't feeling well. He's like, if
we don't do someth thing about it, then we're gonna
have to do C section. And then Jesse starts arguing
with the doctor like, no, she's not gonna have there
was something he wanted to help induce me, and they're
arguing he's and finally my doctor is like, do you
want her to die or do you want to have
(20:16):
a healthy baby. We're doing this now, I'm overruling you,
and she's I'm doing it, and he did it, and
thank God, that night I delivered Isabella. So Jesse actually
got to be with Isabella for about ten minutes and
then he had to leave and they it was one
in the morning. They put me in my room and
I had no nurses. I had nobody around, nobody. I
(20:36):
didn't even know that. I couldn't get out of bed
and like walk to the bathroom and pee. Like when
I tried, I was like, oh, I like stitched up.
I couldn't do anything, so and even ringing the nurse button,
it took like thirty minutes to get a nurse. So
I just had the worst COVID baby experience that any
(20:59):
woman fears of. Then of course that happened to me.
So finally my life was checking off all the boxes
and everything was great. I wanted to have a husband,
(21:19):
I wanted to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, thank
the Lord, and everything seemed great. But once I had
a child, your life instantly changes as a mother, and
that is when things slowly started changing. And this is
the part that my marriage became a nightmare. It was
(21:41):
a very lonely time for me. But my world at
the time was my daughter. And my home, and unfortunately
that wasn't the same with Jesse. He continued his life
as if he was still kind of a single guy,
and I was expected to be at home, and he
really kind of stop communicating with me. He was gone
(22:03):
all the time, and even when he was home, he
was always on the phone or he had his vodka
on the rocks. And I never had that one on
one where somebody asked me how I'm doing, or would
have a conversation with me. And he was just getting
further away while I was becoming more of a mother.
He was not doing his part in trying to be
(22:24):
a father. A lot of people ask me why didn't
I leave sooner? When you're married, you don't just walk away.
It takes time, and us as women, it's like you're married.
I got married and I had no intention of ever
getting divorced. I wanted to be married to him for
the rest of my life. That was my mindset and
(22:44):
what I wanted as a goal of happiness. But he
changed and not for the better. I felt like I
grew and he was just going backwards in life and
I stay. I stayed as long as I did because
the unknown is super scary. I had no idea how
(23:05):
was I going to start all over in my thirties
now with the child and have to move out and
possibly get a new work at a different place. Because
we work at the same office, and my life with
Jesse was very intertwined. We had work together, our entire relationship,
we did a TV show together, we share a child together,
(23:28):
and it was just so scary to think that I
would be literally starting over from scratch. And it takes
a lot to be able to tell yourself like, this
is not what I deserved, this is not what I
want in my life, and I'm going to do something
about it and start over, even though it's going to
(23:49):
be one of the hardest things I have to do
in my life. So our relationship really started changing once
we had a child, and when Isabella was about one
years old, that's when we were introduced about possibly doing
a reality TV show together. And things weren't that bad.
There were you know, I thought there were bumpy roads
(24:12):
and ups and downs and marriages, so I just thought
this was something that was going to get better with time.
And then we get a call and they're like, well,
you're we're going to start doing this show soon, and
that was literally the worst time of our relationship, and
it was also the worst time of my life. I
had the worst news anybody could ever get before starting
(24:36):
to film a TV show. So before we start filming
the show, my mom comes to visit me in La
We go out to a restaurant and she actually thought
she had food poisoning because she wasn't feeling well the
following day, and I said, I felt fine, why don't
you go to the hospital or go to the doctor
and get a checkup. My mom had always gone to
the doctor's yearly get checkups. She was always proud of
(24:59):
how healthy she was was and didn't even have any
high blood pressure or anything like that. So she calls
me and she's like, I'm a little confused. They have
to do all these MRIs. We don't know what's happening.
So my sister immediately goes with my mom, and my
sister and Mom call me and she's like, Mom has
stage four cancer. And this is probably a week or
(25:24):
two before I start filming the show. So internally, I'm
going through such a difficult marriage and I'm confused because
I don't know what to do. I'm like, do I leave,
Do I stay? Do I do this TV show? My
mom has cancer? What does that mean? I've never known
anybody to be sick, let alone cancer, and it was
(25:47):
stage four, so they said she had to have surgery
immediately and then do chemo right after. So right, I
think it was a week before filming. I had to
go to San Diego be with my mom while she
had all of these surgeries, and then go into filming
while me and my husband want to kill each other
(26:09):
and everything is just horrible. And I thought naive of me.
But I had never seen reality TV. I had thought
I could just hide it and not say anything and
just keep it to myself. And now watching back the show,
I see how miserable I was and how much I
(26:29):
was actually going through mentally, and I tried to hide it.
And you know, I've heard that I look like a robot,
and I think it's because I was. I didn't know
how to handle it internally. I didn't know if was
my mom going to get better with chemo? Was she
going to die? Like? There was just so many unknowns,
(26:53):
and I could not at the time make the decision
whether I was going to stay or leave. One thing
I want to mention is before filming, there was a
point where Jesse and I were really bad and I
didn't even think about it, and I just sat him
down and I'm like, I want a divorce. This is horrible.
(27:14):
I'm going to get an apartment a block away and
we'll figure it out and we can do therapy. And
I remember doing it in my office because I just
didn't want him to change my mind, and he was
crying so much, and he it was a four hour
conversation and he really begged me, and he made me
feel like he woke up and was going to change,
(27:36):
and I was very vocal. I told him that I
was so unhappy and all of the things he did
were very severe. His drinking was very severe, his spending
habits was very severe, him never being home. It was
just it took a real toll on our relationship. And
so he promised me, and he said, give me a year,
(27:59):
and if you're unhappy in a year, I will walk
away and I will make sure you're taken care of.
I will make sure everything is good. And I said, well,
I owe that to our marriage and to our daughter.
And so I did stay because I wanted to give
him that last chance, so I gave him the chance,
(28:19):
and that's when we got the call that we were
going to start filming. So I was giving him the
opportunity when in fact I was already mentally done. And
Jesse can be very convincing, and he convinced me that
he was going to change and he was going to
do anything to fix the marriage, and he guaranteed me
(28:41):
and promised me that he would make sure that everything
would go smoothly even if I wanted to leave, and
that didn't happen. I should have known, but that didn't happen,
and I'm still struggling. But I'm happy that I left
because I'm not miserable every single day, and so much
(29:03):
has happened since then, and it's a very difficult divorce.
I think I'm going through one of the most difficult
and complicated divorce because I'm dealing with a difficult person,
and even though it should be easier, it's not. But
I'm trying to navigate that because I know that this
(29:24):
is not going to last forever. I was in a
really bad place mentally while filming, and it really showed
in my demeanor, and I was just so unhappy and
I wasn't true to myself. And finally, when we stopped filming,
I just realized, like, it's now or never. I have
(29:45):
a at the time two year old. I don't want
to do it when she's ten. Why am I going
to be unhappy year after year? This is not what
I signed up for. This isn't when I said I
do this is this was not the agreement. And so oh,
we had a wedding anniversary right after filming, and I
just told myself, like, do I want another wedding anniversary
(30:08):
and be miserable? And I said no. So I woke
up and I sat him down and I said, there
is nothing you can do or say to change my mind,
so please listen to what I have to say. And
I feel like I was very fair. I said, I
gave you the time, but I'm going to ask for
a divorce. Nothing's changed, and I want it to be
(30:32):
as easy as possible. I don't want to take your
child away. I want to be fifty to fifty. I
want to live near each other. I want to learn
to co parent and be friends with one another. And
I think that I couldn't have made it easier on him.
And I realized that I had a responsibility to show
(30:52):
my daughter what a healthy relationship was because I started
envisioning my parents, and I remember being three years old
and five and ten and looking at my parents in
love and my dad coming home and bringing my mom
and I flowers, and he would put music on and
dance and it was just such a happy household that
(31:16):
I thought to myself, Isabella doesn't even know what that
looks like. She's never even seen her dad kiss or
hug her mother, and that was not something that I
wanted her to grow up thinking that was normal. And
I really thought about her before anything, and I just
realized that this will be the best thing that I
(31:38):
ever do for my daughter. My mom was such a
strong woman, and I want to raise my daughter the
same way. I want her to look at me and
think one day when she grows up like my mom
was a strong woman and she did everything she could
to be happy, and so that I'm happy and have
a good life. And don't get me wrong, it's not
(32:02):
easy getting divorced, and there's different stages and it's difficult
before it gets better, and I'm in the heart of it,
and it is hard and dealing with lawyers and fighting
with an ex about custody or financials. It's not fun stuff,
but I think that in the end it's going to
(32:23):
be worth it for me and my daughter. And I
wanted to do this podcast because I want you to
know the different layers of me and to be able
to talk about friendships, marriage, divorce, co parenting, having a child,
being a mother, death, finding love again, business, real estate,
(32:46):
you name it. No topic is off limit. I have
felt a lot of support from friends and even on
Instagram people I don't know, and this is why I
want to share, so that I feel the support and
so that I can support you. So if there's anything
you want to know or want me to talk about,
please do share. I do read the comments. I see
the good ones and the bad ones, so whatever you want,
(33:10):
nothing is off limits. I've always been in the pursuit
of something, apparently ever since I was born. I've had
a difficult life, and I have always been in the
pursuit of happiness, of joy, and now sassiness. This isn't
just my own pursuit of sassiness, but it's all of us.
So I'm super excited that we're gonna go on this
(33:31):
journey together.
Hosts And Creators
Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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