#434 Carlisle Forrester Is Back, Baby Shoe & Hotel Horror Stories!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glaiser Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Glaser.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello here I am.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
It's Nicky Glazer podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
I'm Nicki Glazer. I am in Los Angeles, California, and
studio at the iHeart Studio podcast studio.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
You look like you were about to say something.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Brian No, no, I never say anything.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Brian Frandi is here and he's going to remain quiet.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Yeah. Also returning to the show, who is You've been
at the same exact studio, last time, friend of the show,
friend of literally every podcast I've ever done, and friend
in life. Carlile Forster. Everyone, Carla, happy to be here,
so happy to have you here. How are you today?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
I'm good.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
I usually see you on girls Chat and we're both
having like existential crisis crises on there.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I know, I just reading through you and I really
bring it on there.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
We are. We're the ones where it will be like
evidence in a trial will be our girls chat.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Nicki and are the only ones that typically will delete.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Messages sometimes youre we go like that was just too much.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
I was going to something. But that's a good thing
about our girls chat. We would have work in entertainment.
We need a recording of the breakdown no, that's not.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
My problem is that like it'll come back to haunt me.
It's like, my problem is is that no one needs
to hear this ship And it's like getting old. It's
like this is just the same. It's the same thing
over and over every couple of weeks. I have the
same spiel, and I can't imagine, Like I almost wish
that my phone phones could record people's reactions as they're

(01:32):
reading it, Like there was some kind of thing you
could put on a text message that will capture the
just like that would cry you get no, that would
make it worse. Just Kirsten going like Corey, she's doing
it again, like them all commoning to their husband. It's like, oh,
can I read this to you? Nicky spiraling.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
The babies inside of their wounds are rolling their eyes
and rolling. That's so funny because every regnant girls on
this chat and we're just the wait four yeah, three
three three sorry why depression?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Ye what and going down? You're gonna have less and
less pregnant girls in that chat.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, that's true, and in a good way, in a
good way, like they're giving birth.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Noah is like in labor.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Right now, she's almost not pregnant.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Yeah, it's Noah's birthday today, and it would be awesome
if it was actually her birthday.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Wow, it'd be cool.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
And we're recording birthday Noah.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
What's the day the twenty second? So Noa's birthday's twenty second.
Wish her a belated happy birthday. She's due on the
twenty ninth, so it coould be anytime right now. So yeah,
I feel bad, like on girls chat, like why I just.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Love first birthdays on a first?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Me too.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
You're a first, My brother's a first. My dog, I
always say, is a first, even though we don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, you don't know, never know. Yeah, but yeah, what's yours?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
First?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
March?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
March? For some reason, first, I was just saying my
birthday is like the best.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Because of that first first is the best.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah, it feels really good. What do you call it?
I'm November twenty first.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Okay, okay, says twenty one one.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
I kind of like that number.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Oh yeah, one one two.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
I know someone you know, someone to Convy gave birth
to his son last year on February twenty Wait wait,
oh no, two years ago February twenty second, twenty twenty two.
That kids set for life angel numbers.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
That's so that's angel numbers anytime there's like all numbers
in a row. Like if you look at the clock
and it's like three thirty three forty four, that's for
times with you, but then nine, well, yeah, you don't
want six six.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Six, Oh yeah, that would be seven o six.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Do you make a wish at at eleven? What does
that mean?

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Like, well if six six six, if the clock were
six six o'clock in sixty six minutes, it was.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Oh yeah, yea yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Do you ever make a wish? I do?

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I do?

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Yeah, yeah, it's eleven eleven. Make a wish, that's parents.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I'll do it.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, I do too. But and I really I love
it because it's like you could be in the last
three seconds of eleven eleven and if it clicks over,
no it doesn't. Like for me, I do a device
where it's like if it moves over, then the wish
does not only does it not come true, we definitely
won't come true. So I have to like make my
wish fast. I don't have time to like, like I
just saw a video of Kate Hudson making a birthday wish.

(04:11):
They were like posted online. She looks adorable, she looks ageless.
She's it's she's giving Goldie hon, but like ageless goldie hon.
She's forty five. She blows out her candles and before
she blows them out, she makes a wish and it
takes way too long. Uh huh, way too like everyone's
just sitting around. It was probably like forty five seconds

(04:31):
of her going.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
You get its second per year of life. That's the rule.
You said she was forty five, so I didn't know that.
That's so twenty year old's one. They go. Yeah, and
someone was slowing out spanking her at the same time
forty five times. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
So yeah, my mental health was bad this morning and
was just like I just piled on pretty hard and
then I slept obviously, and then it feels better.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's sometimes what.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Its David method, which is take a shot.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
That really does help. The world is a dark place
whenever you're underslept.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Oh yeah, no, it's off.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
You're underslept like crazy cause you work all the time.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
I work early as a waitress from a day job,
and then I'm also a comic, so I'm up late
and people are like, how do you do it? I'm like,
I don't sleep.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
I don't do it, underslept and slept on.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, I have bags under my eyes. No, you really don't.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
You have like that perfect little like like it's not
a bag. It's like a fold, but it's like a thing.
I don't know, but the bag gat under your eyes,
it's a bag.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
It was really good.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
Oh. Thanks, What did you guys do this weekend? You
were in Indianapolis?

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I went back to Indianapolis, returned to uh, Benedict Polizzi's homeland.
How did we say his last name? I said Politzi,
Benedict Polizzi's homeland. It wrong, He's saying it right.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Later when he said it's Polizi, I just go, okay.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, if he went back to Italy, they'd smack him
around for something shut and.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
He would come from that very turned on by that.
He loves, he loves he's raised by I think a
strict mom. Not a strict mom, but he likes punished.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Aunt Lydia type.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yes, yeah, I don't know who that is, but continue.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
So I asked about Benedict's when I was there. I said, so,
what do you guys think of Benedict? And across the board.
He's the best, sweetest guy, nicest guy. You expect him
to be a piece of shit because he's so hot,
and then he proves.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Again naturally hot. Yeah he's achieved this, you know. So
he's a good person ultimately, but he's and he does
not come across as someone who thinks he's hot at all.
But yeah, if you saw just his profile pictures, I'm
sure he has a good bumble or whatever that's charming,
but like, yeah, he does.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
He has every right to be me being med.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
I love when people are just nice. I just got
because I love it in myself that when I hear
stories about myself from the past and I was nice
to people, Like a girl just wrote to me and
was like, Hey, I just want to reach out to you.
I am am a comic in New York City and
I bark for shows, which, if you don't know, it's
like when people stand on the corner and hand out
tickets to go show comedy show you like comedy, you

(07:09):
want free comedy ticket? Yeah, comedy taping tonight. Dave Chappelle
might be there, he.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Will Chappelle, Chris Rock, Dan Cook. These are comedians that
I know, and they will not be at the show tonight, yep.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
And so she said that I was with a bunch
of other guys who also barked for years in New
York and we were talking about and this is all
just like, Hi, Nikki, I just wanted to write you
and let you know that I used to bark in
New York for for tickets for shows. And I was
recently at hanging out with some other guys who did
the same thing, and we were talking about comedians who

(07:42):
were really mean to us when we walked by. So
we accidentally barked them, and they were like, I'm a
comedian and I'm just like holding my breath, like, who know,
I don't know, I'm not that's I feel like I'm
self aware. But then she was like, and one time
I accidentally barked you and said, like, do you want
to come to the show?

Speaker 1 (08:01):
I should look it up because I want.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
To get it right. But she act, which, by the way,
I've heard stories about like comedians going into shows that
they're on like your face is on the poster, oh yeah,
And then the person's like, excuse me, now, do you
have a ticket for the show?

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Oh god?

Speaker 3 (08:18):
And they go they fucking and they freak out, freak out,
but I don't expect anyone to know who I am either, literally,
so yeah, I'm on.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
The show and they go, okay, sorry, like.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's one time. I was like really traumatized trying to
get into the improv because the door guy was literally
was like who the fuck are you? And I was like,
I'm on the show at the lab and he's like,
you can't just walk in here, and I was like
I didn't, I'm talking to you right now. And then
he's like you can't just walk and I was like
and then I tried to make a joke to light

(08:47):
in the situation, and I was like, I don't know,
I'm just pretending like I'm a like I'm a guy,
like I'm a big guy or whatever, and he's like, well,
you aren't anybody, so you can't walk in here. And
I was like, well, yit, I'm not trying it. And
then he tried to play it off like he was
joking around and he started laughing like ah ha, you're
in here, you know, and I was just like this
is so awkward and uncomfortable. I never want to come

(09:08):
back here again.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
I got into an almost altercation similar to that this
weekend on the road we were flying out of the
Buffalo Airport. Shout out to Niagara Falls in Buffalo area
for coming to the show at Seneca Casino on Saturday
night was fucking dope. So was Wakegan an amazing show
and then last night at the Paramount in Huntington, New York.
Amazing amazing shows this weekend. But leaving Buffalo at the airport,
so like, you know, you're about to walk through the

(09:31):
metal detector and there was like there's TSA machines on
both sides, so like people are just kind of filing
into one line and me and this guy came in
at the same time, and I didn't see him at first,
and so I just kind of accidentally butted in front
of him, and so I I just like went through quickly,
like kind of danced like oh sorry, like I didn't
see you, you know, like kind of went through the
machine like like give bit like that, and the guy,

(09:52):
the TSA agent on the other side of the machine goes,
I see what you're doing there, don't try to don't
try to trick the machine, And I go, what so
if you think if you think I'm trying to trick
the machine.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
You should have me arrested.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah, you should literally go back back in the bowels
of this airport and anally probe me to if you
think that I was just doing a little dance to
get He goes, that tricks the system, and I go,
do you think I know that?

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (10:17):
And I got such an attitude with him and I go, yeah,
I was just He goes, you're trying to trick the system.
I go, no, I'm not. I was trying to be
friendly to the guy I butted in front of me,
and he was like, well that that, uh messes with
the machine and you can uh, you're trying to bypass.
You're trying to bypass the security. And I go, no,
I wasn't. I literally got that bit. I go no,
I wasn't. Yeah, and he goes, well, you can't do
it that way, and he goes go back through and

(10:38):
I go, I will, and I go I was. I got.
There were and there were fans. I could tell that
people recognize me in line. I don't know why this
never happens to me, but there was a couple and uh,
and I saw them see me get an attitude with it,
and I didn't even give a fuck. I was just like,
I hate this guy so much. I really wanted him
to have me pulled away, like this woman's a problem.
I was having that Tom Singer a moment of like,

(11:00):
I'm so it's sick of being talked to like I'm
doing something wrong when I was. I was literally trying
to do something right by being like I am friendly
coming through. I don't so if you want to bypass
the security machines, go through teeter tottering Pinocchio dance, Yeah,
just like that.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
What needs to do.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
That's all I got to do.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Is stop doing the monkey bar.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Well no, that's why they run through the tires in
that obstacle. Course that's the same motion I did.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Was my god.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
And but just but if he.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Does think I'm trying to do that, then you should
pull me aside.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
So you really didn't think I was doing it, because
so you're just a liar. This guy was such an asset.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
It was like that Luis c kjoke. I think it's
Luis c k Who's who said they he had like
a bottle of something. Oh yeah, he likes to do clay.
He's talking about how he likes to do clay. And
then he tried to bring the clay out play looks
like bombs, and then they were like, you can't bring
this on the plane, and then he was like okay,
and then they threw out the clay and then they
let him on the plane. And he's like, look, it's
either a bomb or it's not. Like if I tried
to bring a bomb onto the plane, you should just

(11:58):
throw out the clay and then let me go on
the plan.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yes, that's so, because do you don't think I have
a backup? Yeah, if that was my bomb.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Or at least I'm a guy who's trying to bring
a ball.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
You just threw a bomb in a trash can. Don't
you think I could possibly detonate inside there? That is
so funny and so nuts.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
So anyway, this girl wrote to me I found it.
She said, Hey, I was talking to a comedian barking
for stage time in the village and he was telling
me about comedians who were mean when they barked at
them by mistake. And then there's two line breaks. Oh shit,
Oh no, I was just so and there's no it's
hey exclamation marks, So that does connote I'm nice?

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Uh huh?

Speaker 3 (12:34):
It reminded me years ago. I was barking on McDougall
and I barked you by mistake. You were literally the
banner of my Netflix at the time. I was so embarrassed,
but you said something along the lines of, don't worry
about it, you're doing great, and it meant so much
to me. Really kept me going through that stage of
comedy when it feels like people don't even see you.
So thank you very much. Hope you are well.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Dude.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
I know I share these things sometimes, but sometimes I
question if I'm a good person, and then something like
that comes back and you're like, Okay, good, I was nice,
even though I know that I would be time someone
would bark me, I would and they go, oh sorry,
they'd recognize me. I go, why would you ever? Of course,
you're just mindlessly out. You're saying it to everyone. It's
not like you're looking for comedians tonight like insult. Yeah,

(13:11):
but I've heard some horror stories of comedians being so
mean to people because they didn't recognize them. Oh yeah,
I could be as famous as Taylor Swift and I
would still be like, like she does, Hey, I'm Taylor.
She introduces herself as Taylor. It's like like a human,
like a human, YEA have to Speaking of Taylor Swift,
I'll just briefly say that the Torture Poets Department is out.
It has been out since I guess Friday night, twelve

(13:36):
am Eastern, and I have so much to say about it.
I will be recording a solo episode or possibly with
someone else that's the Swifty in Canada and Norhadidi. I'm
gonna record it tonight, just audio. You don't have to
be involved. I don't want, I don't No one can
be involved. It's just I was gonna bring talk about
it today and do some points, but I'm like, they
both don't know what I'm talking about. I need to
get really in depth. It's just gonna be a very

(13:58):
Swifty episode.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
It's not going to be.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
It's just gonna be in depth discussion of Torch Poets Apartment.
If you're looking for any criticism of it, you're not
gonna find it. No, not even a single word, because
I have nothing bad to say, because why would I what.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
You don't want to be another sound bite in a
Taylor's well that also.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
But I asked also like there's no reason for negativity.
If you think there are too many songs on this album,
why are you complaining there's two? Just don't listen to
the song?

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Is it a double album?

Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah? Oh how many songs?

Speaker 3 (14:29):
And I say that with so much love, saying bitch
like she's my friend. She thirty one songs, Bask and
Robin this shit, she really sixteen first at midnight and
then at two am, two am, because she kept doing two's.
She kept doing peace signs throughout the tour at the

(14:50):
fucking Grammys, always giving these peace signs and everyone was like,
what is this peace sign And everyone kept saying, no,
it's just gonna release the reputation with torch poets, and
I was like, this is a double ab. Everyone like
she would not be doing these post malones doing the
two He did it at the super Bowl when he
did like, she had everyone doing this and so it
was the double album because she did it from Midnight's too.

(15:11):
She is locked into giving us clues double albums the
rest of her life. That's thirty one songs. Taylor Swift
fans went from having it like we have so many
things in our head already and thirty one more songs
and they are dense lyrically, so it's like it's it's
I heard an ABC News report this morning on my
Instagram that was David Mirror, who I love, and he's

(15:34):
like reporting on it, like he's reporting on the Gaza strip. Yeah, yeah,
like your shirt and he's just like, uh, if it
was the morning after the release, He's like, if swifties
are tired at where, if you are you working with
a fellow swifty and they're tired at work, please forgive them.
And I felt so seen like it's really is daunting,
but in the best way. I am having the best

(15:57):
week because of it. That's all I'm gonna say. I
will get into it, but it is like soothing to
my soul. That was this morning when I was on
the Girls Chat, I said, I can't even listen to
her shift for now.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
I'm so sad.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
I don't even want her to be associated with this
feeling I'm feeling.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
It's like someone gave you a big giant cake and
said you have to finish the whole cake, and so
you're gonna like each piece of the cake, but it's
gonna take you some time.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Totally. It's it's so I don't have anything that I
love that much. I know how so many.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
I was listening to Chris's radio show today and they
were talking about how like they've never been excited about
the release of something ever in this way I have.
What is it?

Speaker 2 (16:29):
It was when The Avalanches came out with their second
album after their first album, which was in It was
two thousand and one, was their first album, and it
took them sixteen years. Who take come out with their
second album? Oh my god, the second album was It
didn't it didn't match the first album, but it didn't disappoint.
And that's really after sixteen years.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
That's incredible. I've never even heard of them.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
I've never heard any the Avalanche.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
What about Husky Night Husky Rescue. Yeah, Husky Rescue is
I mean that was stuck in Carlisle's car. She had
a car that the CD would not come out, so
you only could listen to this album by the Rescue.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
It's a great album.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
It was really good. It was soothing, and Sarah McLaughlin
was also in that.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
You had like a term changed situations, so you had
a choice four albums, four Husky albums. Sarah McLaughlin was one.
But yeah, like if they came out with the new music,
I'd be very excited.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
The only person that to me is like my Taylor
Swift is but not but Mariah Carey. But they're like
whole Mariah Carey songs I've never even heard right, right,
So I'm not near as much as if.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Well it is it. There were there Taylor Swiss songs.
I've never heard that really, like, you know, not never,
I've heard everything, but like that, I don't like if
she were to play it as a secret song, I
kind of go, I don't know, I can't sing one,
and it's like embarrassing. But yeah, did that happen on
the tour, Yeah, a lot, a lot. Yeah, And now
I know those songs because I would hear them kind

(17:51):
of for the first time, not really the first time,
but like actually hear them for the first time, and
and then I would get really into it. One of
those songs, if you're swiftly listening, is begin I guess
I saw that one like front row and was like
kind of sad that she picked a song that I
didn't really know, and then I was like, oh wait,
and then but yeah, there's a lot that I don't
know because there's so much. I think she has at
this point probably four hundred songs out there, around three

(18:14):
hundred and four hundred.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
That and the Beatles have a lot of songs, And
I thought I knew every Beatles song, and then I
have this piano book that's called The Beatles Complete, which has.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Every song you have the Beatles car my parents do, yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
And I you know, I just sometimes flip through it.
I'm like, I'll play these and then there's like dozens
and dozens of songs that I'm like, I've never heard
of this ever. Yes, yeah, most of them are from
their early days. Like it's not gonna be like there's
a song from the White album or something that's but like, man,
I think maybe like a hundred songs in there. Then
I'm like, I've never even heard the song. I don't know,
can find it.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
There's so many songs.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Yeah, it's I wrote one song, and I feel so
accomplished and I can't even imagine. And she definitely she
wrote thirty one songs for this album, but she definitely
wrote more than that. I mean, like it takes a
lot to get I think people think that she just
put every song she wrote. I guarantee you she wrote
thirty one other songs. There's something that she's still writing
that are going to appear on an album one day. Yeah,
she writes a song every day. I'm guessing that's how

(19:07):
she processes her life and her thoughts, Like she definitely
is writing constantly. And it's just you.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Make a joke every day, not really, not really, I
mean it's a conversation. Yeah, you don't even realize. Yeah,
that's strange.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
I just did a Luis cy K but that if
I would have just followed it through, I could have
gotten to the same place here. Isn't that so interesting?
Like when you not that I would if I did
that at joke, someone would go, hey, Nikki, someone has
that joke. But that there are opportunities for jokes literally everywhere,
and I just dropped that.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
That one pisses me off. Yeah, it's like, man, why
couldn't I think of that one? Yeah, it's not genius
like he is.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
Well you are, though, like you just haven't tapped into
the same thing that he's tapped into something like he's
just he's found I don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
The flow, Like if you tried masturbating in front.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Of people, I did, and it made me less fun.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
I saw the clip the other day of him saying, like,
you know, addressing that it was on my Instagram, and
he's like, if you want to massabrate in front of someone,
ask them and then if they say yes, ask them again,
and then just don't do it. Yeah, and don't don't
trust that they really And he's right, like, just don't
because you don't know why they're saying yes. It could

(20:19):
be because they just feel uncomfortable or whatever. Yeah, and
but then he does also says that he has He's like, uh,
everyone knows my thing. We all have a sing and
he's like, opec Yeah, Obama knows my thing. This was
the funniest line because it's just that taking that to
the next level. Everyone's already laughing at everyone knows his thing,
even like a little kid on a plane is like,

(20:39):
did Mama, that's the guy that jerks off in front
of women or whatever? But then the saying Obama and
you're like, Obama does know?

Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, what the fuck? I wrote a song?

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, it's whenever I see like a baby shoe on
likelying like it's a missing Oh yeah, it's such a
sad sight. I have a song I always sing when
I see the shoe?

Speaker 1 (20:59):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
I'm kind of embarrassed to sing it, but I know
because I think people will start singing the song. It's
baby shoe, Yon, baby shoe lying on the street. How
did you yon, baby shoe fall off the baby feet?

Speaker 3 (21:20):
That's beautiful. It's like a really that looks sounds like
an old nursery rhyme during the plague.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
That's right, that's how I invented that wrote that baby yon.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
Baby shoes yonby shoes.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Your I don't know. Wait, I think it's an old
timey word.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's so funny. Did it
just come out one day?

Speaker 2 (21:40):
Yeah, I just saw it and I was walking down
the street because I do talk to myself a lot
when I'm walking around. I mean, i'd have that thing
where I try to be in someone else's conversation later
or if I'm walking down the streets of New York City,
I try to say something to myself that someone will
turn and then later on they'll be like I heard
some guy in the street yelling at someone on the
phone about there's too much orn in his soup or whatever.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I just heard that humming to
yourself is a really good thing to do. Really, that
you can't think and hum at this you can't ruminate
and hum at the same time, which I don't think
is true. Man. But you're supposed to hum to yourself
when you're really because it actually stimulates your vagus nerve
and it actually feels the way your mom's voice felt
when you were in utero, and it's very comforting, so

(22:24):
you feel like it's kind of like this buzzy vibration.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
It's like within you, and then it stops you from
hyper focusing on things. Yes, I need that so bad.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Just hum yourself. I do that anyway throughout my day.
It's probably a soothing technique that you've learned.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
How does it too? She's humming all the time.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Really, sometimes I do it like around other people if
there's like a quiet moment that they know that, like,
I'm not in a bad mood. Is that weird?

Speaker 3 (22:48):
No, that's so codependent.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
But yes, it's not even like an awkward silence that
I'm trying to feel. I just don't want them to
think that I'm like, yeah, mad, No, it actually happens
at work, work around some boy which enneagram are you
two uh nine?

Speaker 3 (23:03):
Note Ninemaker, Well, yeah, I mean I had a makeup
artist that would do that. Like I could just tell
she didn't like awkward silences.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
She would just go.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
Every time every time she's doing any of my makeup,
and it's like too silent because she just needs to.
I think she the type of person she is, I
think is this similar where it's like she has to
make sure people know she's not mad at them or
like not in a bad mood. It's kind of like
that guy on Love on the Spectrum, Remember when he's like, yeah,
I'm very excited and he's like, oh talks like this

(23:33):
and he alway says hot fives and he's like, yeah,
and I bring joy to the world and that's what
I do. And the girl is kind of talking to
him and going like, hey, do you He's like, I'm
just worried if it gets quiet that that I'm not
gonna know what to say. What do I say if
it gets quiet on my date? She goes, you know,
you can just like not talk, and he's like, but
but I bring joy to the world and he's like
and his realization when she was just like you don't

(23:55):
always have to say something all the time to And
because he's he grew up up with a bomb that thought,
you know, because he had autism. He was just they
were so worried about him all the time. So he
had to always project that he was okay and he's
happy and he's in a good mood. And yeah, that
sucks when you have to pretend like you're in a
like that you have to your your mood is so

(24:18):
volatile to people, or that you sense that it is
that you have to like calm other people down around it.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yes, that's interesting and it bleeds into my personality in
a way that like just because I've worked in hospitality
for so long and just like your whole day is
just like smiling and yeah, and like you know it
just you just become a people pleaser, like you just
kind of have to be. God, my face hurts at
the end of the day from smiling. Oh my god,

(24:46):
And I hate that I'm causing wrinkles, like not for
a joyous reason, but just because I'm like placating your
gluten free order whatever the fuck, you know what I mean,
Like just smiling extra hard.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Maybe it's helping you though a little bit to smile.
It's maybe in subconsciously it's telling your brain that.

Speaker 3 (25:01):
You're happy even though you're not smile, and then your
brain will think that you are.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Something like that.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm trying to smile way more.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
I am too.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Well, I'm trying to actually get those crows feet activated
because I've noticed in all my pictures because of botox,
I have like dead eyes when my rest of my
face will be excited, and it's like I like having
a little bit of like a crinkle here crow. Yeah,
it's it's it shows that you're like that you have
like warmth in you, like I think I think there's
a warmth in a crinkle in an eye. And that

(25:29):
is a Taylor Swift lyric. There's a crink, there's a
crinkle lyric. And I know, if you're Swift, you're thinking
about it right now, and.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
So am I.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
We will talk more about all of this and less
about Taylor Swift because I'm gonna do. It's the episode
fully dedicated to it later this week after this. All right,
So what happened in Indianapolis?

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Right? So my Indie calamity, So Indianapolis. I love the Colts, Okay,
but when it comes to Indiana, I think I'm more
of a Bloomington, Indiana guy than an Indianapolis guy. Indianapolis
is not the best city in Indiana, I don't think.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah, but what's the Bloomington.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Is Bloomington, I mean, if you want to call it
a city, it's the college town. Yeah, and it's in
the most beautiful county in Indiana, I believe.

Speaker 3 (26:15):
Have you been to all of Indiana though, like these
statements of like it's the best, you know.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
I've been to a lot of Indiana. We went to Gary.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
We did go to Gary.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
I've been to the Indiana Dunes. I've been to Indianapolis.
I've been to Monroe County.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Do you think of another city in in the Indiana
besides Gary and Indianapolis?

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Tara hate that.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
I do know that one.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
That's where death Row National death Row is whoa Yeah,
So if they you know, if you want to go
visit that, you can.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Evansville.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
You can get a Viata Evansville.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
That's good. Last food capital Evansville.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
They have a college too.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
It's where they test every.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Produces to college.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Okay, well, what what's what's there?

Speaker 2 (26:55):
I forgot where it is? West Lafayette.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
Okay, Okay, so Indiana a fan, I'm.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
A fan, not a fan. Any Their food is not
usually good. There's some good places, but we went to
this place that was recommended to us by the audience.
Not a good sign. Like I feel like you can't
trust an audience recommending you any dinner options. Really why well,
because it just doesn't usually work out. We went to
this place and it was just like packed and it
was like a bar after sports place. But anyway, I
ate it. And my real calamity was my hotel was

(27:25):
pretty expensive and it was not a great hotel. My
bathroom wasn't like updated, and my toilet wouldn't flush. So
the whole weekend, I'm just like using that toilet and
it's just like filling up with stuff and like you
can flush it a little bit after things like break
down for a while, but I'm just like I'm paying
like whatever, like three hundred dollars a night. I should
have a toilet, Yeah, I should.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Crazy, did you call the front desk?

Speaker 2 (27:47):
No?

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Because I was like, well, this is no.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
This is a behavior that you repeated over and over
and that one night you couldn't sleep because there was
techno music the hotel that we were staying at, and
you didn't sleep the whole night, and I go, why
didn't you call the front desk? And you were like,
I just thought it would stop eventually.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
That's what I thought. I'd stopped shipping.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Okay, you this is you need to hum, and you
need to you need to hum.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Really thinking was I'm going, I'm not going to be
here for that long. I can have a non functioning
toilet for three days.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
I mean, I've been there.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
I'm projecting. I get what you're doing here.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
And then we went to this place, the Slippery Noodle,
and I got food poisoning.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
Oh god, that sounds disgusting, the Slippery Noodle exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah. I got food poisoning, and so I had to eat.
It was a it was like French onion soup, a
baked potato. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
I think it was the soup really wow.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, okay, And so I had to puke and I
had to puke in the tub because my toilet was
filled with ship.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Oh my god, Brian, I am so disturbed by this.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
It was this kneeling down on a pillow puking in
the tub all night next to a pile of my
own ship.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
Oh you pregnant? This sounds like the problems on the
Girls Chat. Everyone everyone like this is ridiculous, I know.
And so the chunks of puked.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
And then I turned on the shower to wash away
the puke, and the steam from the shower made the
fire alarm go off so much pain. I'm writhing in pain.
I'm trying to get the fire alarm to turn off,
puking in the tub. And what's ironic about it, alanis,
is that there was a fire convention, a fire department

(29:22):
convention in Indy that weekend in the hotel. This hotel
was filmed the hotel. Can we name check it? No?

Speaker 1 (29:31):
Sounds like it?

Speaker 2 (29:32):
No, I love it.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
But those are like three hundred Yeah, this is your moment,
that's what. But this that you did not say, hey,
can I get a plunger or something like? That's at
the very least like when I when I poop up
a toilet, I don't let them do it. I just
say bring me a plunger. You know, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Over time, because over because it was like almost fine,
because over time, if you just let it sit there overnight, it.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Would finally like start to think.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
And then yes, so it's like, you know what, it's
not like it's overflowing.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
Yeah, I lo something I've changed about my life. And
I like, I was just saying on the Girl's Chet
today that I don't think I've changed in the past
five years at all. Like I look at pictures, like
in terms of looks, I've changed, but like I eat
the same things, I wear, the same things, I sit
the same way, I talk the same way.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
It's called having a style and a personality.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
I don't think it is like it's it's all the
stuff I'm ashamed of though, Like I'm I was looking
at a picture of my green room from three years ago,
and it's the same, Like dinner I'm eating, it's just
the same bullshit. Like it's just look, I look immature,
Like I'm just stunted.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
I don't have to be a creature of habit. It's
comforting and I get.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
That, and I very much am, but I want to
just evolve, and I just think my personality has not
changed at all. I don't think I've become more tolerant,
more nice, more like less depressed. Like I'm just like
kind of in the same rut of that stuff. But
that's that's beside this point. Something that I do think
I've changed recently is that I don't totally trash my
hotel room, like it's not I if I, you know,

(31:00):
I buy a bunch of new makeup and I take
it all of that out of its wrappers, and I'm
doing all my makeup before show. Usually I have come
back home and it would just be a nightmare in there,
and then i'd clean it up. I wouldn't even clean
it up. I'd eventually, you know, leave it for the
maid and then put down a twenty to be like, oh,
she's going to clean up after me. Now, I put
everything in a trash can as soon as I unwrap it,
Like my hotel room looks kind of presentable. And I

(31:21):
think it's because I'm scared I'm going to die and
I don't want people to see. That's that's more of it.
Like I just think someone's gonna have to like come
get me in my hotel room, and I don't want
them to be like disgusted by it. So I think
that's probably keeping me doing it.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
There's always those death pictures like Britney Murphy's death.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Or like oh, yeah, Whitney her bathroom. Everyone was like,
it's a mess, and I was like, I look so
organized to me. Why are there so many products just
scattered about?

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Just that is the because they're nominator, there's so many products,
and because they don't have minimalist style, and.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Because they're crazy, because this business makes people crazy. Yes,
and you become an order and you get tons of
products sent to you all the time, new, and you
feel bad saying no because this is a five hundred
dollars value just two years ago. I would have done
anything for that. I kind of afford that, and so
now I'm getting it for free, so I'll say yes
to it, and then you get it, and then you're like,
I have to post about it. And then they follow

(32:13):
up and they go, hey, have you gotten the product?

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Yes, I have.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
I haven't had a chance to use it. I'm on
the road, And then you just keep ignoring their dms
because you feel bad you haven't used it, and even
if you do, you don't really like it, and you
don't even know how to talk about it because you
don't even think your skin's that good to even promote it,
because people are gonna be like, why would I even
want Niki lazer skin, so you feel like ashamed that
you even are someone who should promote something skincare wise.
But yeah, I think that's it. But yeah, I've just started.

(32:36):
And I used to always if I pee, I'd never
flush if I'm staying in my own apartment or hotel,
until like that's like environmental reason lazy, Like I just
don't care about like having to turn around touch a
toilet first of all. I just I don't like washing
my hands either in my own apartment. So I'm just
like I don't need to add germs to this because
if I flush toilet, I have to wash my hands.

(32:58):
And if I don't flush toilet, I feel like.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
I'd flushing with your shoe.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
That's a little much for like the little tiny silver
handle on the side, and sometimes it's like a dot
on the top, you know, button all the time.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
I hate the button on the stick my finger.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Every new toilet. That's such a good point.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
I know it's disgusting. It's too hard to push and
you wind.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Up and they're split sometimes because one is like from
and you're lying, I have nails, you know, gross it
is with nails in your nail scrapes. I get a
manic and they get the dirt out from under my nails.
It's one of the most embarrassing moments in my life.
And I always forget to, like, do it pre before
going in. It's like getting the toilet paper out of

(33:38):
your vagina before you go to the gecologist. And I
always for I do that. I always think about.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
That, it's clean your hotel room before you die.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yes, so I started flushing right away, but I'll go
to the toilet. I'm like, oh my god, it's like
doesn't have piss and paper, and it makes me feel
better about myself.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
I clean up like wrappers and stuff. But in hotel rooms,
I used to just trash them because it was like
who cares seeing you gotta do not in a way
that's like dirty where the maid is like you oh
in for instance, it's other niche stuff that you leave.
It's other day. I was in New Orleans and I
was leaving my hotel room. I gotta show you this
picture and I spilled. I set a water bottle on

(34:16):
my bed and I spilled it and I was like,
oh fuck, you know, and I uh and I was like,
oh no, the maid is gonna think this is piss
because also spray tan had been on that area too.
Of it's like right where I was sleeping, so it
looked like orange, and then it was like so much water,
so it looked like just a huge bladder full of piss.

(34:36):
So I wrote something I'm just realizing is so racist.
I assumed they speak Spanish and that's really ignorant. But
I think I had encountered them already. I think I
encountered the maid already, and she was, oh, yeah, actually
had because I asked for where the gym was, and
the woman that was doing the rooms no obla on glace,

(34:59):
so I looked up, it's water, not pee. I'm sorry, Okay.
I wrote it with a tip o, my god, because
I just didn't want her to go like, you know,
like I'm sure they're used to it, but like that
gives her a little piece of mind.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
She wasn't thinking that one hundred percent.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
What it was right where I was like would be
laying and it had like a.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Tint to it.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
You spilled water on the bed.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
That had a tint to it because it was on
the spraytnd that I'd already okay, deposit one hundred percent
she would have thought it was I.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Bet you she wouldn't have even clocked it, like they
just stripped the bed and throw it in there. But
now there's a note making them acknowledge that there is
a stain on this.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
And I can't believe I didn't even put it in
English too, like that is I'm such a piece of shit,
But I really do see. I do think I knew
she really was, Like I would not have done that
had I not known. But I think I was also
thinking about my joke killing myself in a hotel room
and writing and writing in Spanish, like a note on
the door that says someone's dead in here, like and
I would I would write because I wouldn't want them

(35:54):
to like, oh, find me, because that's disturbing. So i'd
want them to call like a corner.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
Just but do not disturb thing.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah, that's a good that's a good point.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
And I didn't do a background like the exclamation point
upside down, which I always think that's such a fun
thing about the Spanish language.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
And I didn't even do.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
It on their m wasted opportunity.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Bad call.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
You should have done it in a different they should
have done in like Russian or something, and the confused.

Speaker 3 (36:20):
I don't even know that I knew this woman spoke Spanish.
I just figured she did.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Have you ever seen the documentary on Netflix called Working
that Obama did And they follow workers like in a hotel,
and it starts with like the maid and then it
goes to like the chefs, the majer deed, and it
goes all the way to the top and the hotel owner.
But anyway, the maids what stock out to me. They
said that rarely people say hello to them or even

(36:45):
look at them, like as they're working, as you're passing
a maid, like in a hall, So you should always
them and say like good morning, because like they're people.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
I look at eye contact every time because there's a
part of me that doesn't want to look at them,
because I'm embarrassed of what they have to clean up
of mine of other people's, and I'm like, I feel
sorry for them, and that's like such a like who
am I to be? Like your life is so sad?
So I always make a point to look at them
because I'm like there, and I want to be like
and there, and I want to wink at them a

(37:14):
little bit like you're about to get a little treat
in that room, some piss and a tip because I
did put money on that too. By the way, there's
a there's some money on that.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
Picture, which is so nice because nobody ever does that.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Everyone needs to tip this morning, I couldn't because I
didn't have any cash, and I want to call the
hotel and just be like, is there a venmo for.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
The That would be nice. Nobody has money anymore. They
need to start.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Having like a yeah, everyone needs a venmo. But the
thing is if you don't, if you don't have you know,
change or whatever, just go down the front desk and
tell them to you know, get change at the front
desk before you check out and then they'll put an
envelope and write it on.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
But there should be in your room. Absolutely, lets you tip,
you know what.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
I don't need my hotel room anymore.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
You guys telling me that I can hang up my
towel and reuse my toe to save the environment. And
there's like a little picture of a seal with it,
like we're doing our best. No, you don't want to
hire enough people and you want to save money on
cleaning on water and yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
You're pawning it off and being environmentally conscious.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
It's such bull And there's literally a picture of a seal,
like this guy is going to live. We're not going
to club him to death because we're so angry that
we have to pick up your towels. But I do
reuse towels like crazy.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Yeah. They could say that about anything too. They could
be like, we only put one pillow in your room
because we want to save the.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Geese, and thank you for thank you for joining us
in this fight. They always make you like, oh that
you volunteered somehow. Yes, yeah, it's that's bullshit.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
It's like what if I'm a Republican, right, I don't
give a shit about the gee.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
You know what?

Speaker 3 (38:47):
Not only but everyone doesn't anymore, No, because it's all
seems to not be going very well. But that's beside
the point. There's a new Tailor Swift album. Things are
looking up.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
What was that I was going to say, we're talking
about hotels. Yeah, last weekend I had an experience where I.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
Was promised this place to stay and you were working.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, and I would have given anything for a hotel.
I would have taken a brind FRANGI hotel with shit
in the toilet. Yeah, you would have slept in that
puke tub. It was hilarious because I got this gig
so I do service industry stuff. All right, the jig
is up. I'm telling you. Whenever I'm not a comic.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
The is up. So you've been trying to pretend like you.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
I keep like, we keep talking about like kind of
what I do for work, but then like not. But anyway,
I'm a server. So I got hired to do this
gig at Coachella, and they told me to leave early
enough to be there to work the day, like you know,
as a bottle service waitress, bartend or whatever. So to
beat the traffic, we had to leave at three am
in the morning. Damn I'm driving. I get to the desert. Yeah,

(39:57):
to beat the traffic. And then so the they were like, well,
there's this airbnb where all the girls can crash to
like sleep before we work this party. And we're supposed
to be bottle service too. We're supposed to be like
hot and cute with like a cute outfit here for Celsius.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Right. Yeah, it was like the Celsius event and they
gave you like Celsius clothes.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Yeah, and it was like these leather booty shorts and like,
what did you do with that?

Speaker 2 (40:19):
Out?

Speaker 3 (40:19):
But did you have to give it that?

Speaker 1 (40:20):
So have it? Do you want it?

Speaker 3 (40:22):
I was just like saw the outfit and I was like,
that's kind of cute.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
What do you do with it?

Speaker 3 (40:25):
Though?

Speaker 1 (40:25):
It was so fun Like the experience was so good,
but I just thought this was so funny because like,
we literally show up to this airbnb at five am.
It's still dark outside, and they're just like all the
lights are off, everybody's clearly sleeping at this house, and
our information is just that this is where we're staying.
So we start like knocking on the door and this
disheveled man answers. It's like one of the bartenders, because

(40:49):
there were bartenders that went up the day before to
like set up for this event. Yeah, and he's just like, oh, yeah, oh,
we thought you guys were going to be here later.
Oh there's no beds and I'm with four girls and
we have like all our like blankets and bags and stuff.
Thank got I thought to bring like blankets and a

(41:10):
pitch job and they were like he was like, yeah,
there's like some pool chairs.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
She had to sleep when I got damn a pool
chair and she didn't sleep because you you had to
work at What time did you have to be up
to start?

Speaker 1 (41:21):
I mean we had to be the thing at eleven
thirty and be all at five. Yeah, so we got
there at five, So we're just sitting on lap? How
does that even work?

Speaker 2 (41:29):
How could this be worth it? I know it was paid.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
We got paid, you did, yeah, and I got a
free tea pain concert. Don't be jealous. Yeah, Okay.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
When I go to these like swanky events sometimes like
celebrity events where there's like it's a big deal and
everyone's having the time in their life, I do feel
bad for like the caterers. Sometimes I'm like, this is
so cool they get to be here, But I feel
like I would I would feel.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
If I were that.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
I feel so resentful of Like who do these people
think they are? I'm just as good as you and
you no idea I'm wearing a Selsias shirt or whatever.
Like you don't feel like they treat you bad or
like they ignore you.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
No, they were nice. I mean like it was just
like getting paid to go to a concert. Really, like
the day part of it was fun, right, But like
and I also feel like I time traveled because I
haven't like done bottle service in a long time, haven't
been asked, and so you.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Just like.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Just be like a hot girl and like the outfit
again just like dancing and vibeing a tea pain, which
that was the music that was there whenever I did
bottle service. So like that song, I was like, I
like the bar tender. Yeah yeah, oh yeah, yeah yeah
those like that was me again, just like sling, but

(42:44):
every song was a banger. You almost me think that
was a hit for a second, and like he did
do baby.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
That is cool when you go to a show and
you go, I'm not gonna know any of that. You
go and I got they had won so many hits.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Literally everyone was a hit. Yeah. But to get to that,
we just sleep in the pool chairs, which was hilarious,
which was like this scene of just like a nice
ass pool, like waterfalls, going, hot tub everything, and there
was like beer cans all spread around like you could
tell they had like partied the night before. Somebody enjoyed
the airbnb. Yeah, but I didn't sleep because I was
just like I have to start rolling my hair and

(43:16):
like somehow look hot. God is lifelike and drink so
much Selsia, do you feel like.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Oh yeah, did that get you through? Oh? Kay? I
had one last week and I was like, holy shit,
like it went right through me, right through me.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
It's it's a great it's a clean you know it's clean.
It's not like a monster.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I forgot what. Oh Like, I feel
like I'm stressed out about even hearing that story because
I would have had so much dread of like this
day where I'm gonna I'm not gonna be I have
I'm on no sleep, I'm already tired, and then I
went to this thing. I got no sleep and then
I have to look hot and then I have to

(43:58):
like so much dread. Just how long? And is there
an end in sight?

Speaker 2 (44:02):
Do you do?

Speaker 1 (44:02):
You do you know when it's over?

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Because that's I think that's my biggest thing in life
is I need to know when things are over, and
if I do, then I'll be okay. Like when I
do meet and greets, I don't mind doing meet and greets,
but I want to know how many people are left
and not because I'm like, I can't wait till it's over.
Just it just gives because sometimes the meet and greet
line like snakes around and I will be like looking
at Matt, like how many more? Not because I'm like

(44:25):
I hate this. I really just want to see an end. Ye.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, it's never hard out with anything of service. It's like,
well we got to see when everybody clears out of here,
and then we got it. Well, you know, we got
to pack up all these tables and then once we
get the bottles loaded back into the truck, like you
just never really know.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
Yeah, anyone who works in the service industry shout out
to you for like not there's cool and knowns about
the service indury industry. I think, like not for your
job right now, because you guys like just pull all
your tips together and and so it's like at the
end of the night, I guess it's always different, but
it's not like based on your performance what you get,
not that it ever is because they've done studies and

(45:09):
waitresses who are really nice and do the best job
ever make the same tips as or like maybe sometimes
less tips than people who are straight up rude or
just like have no personality. It's like there's no really
like science to it.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
It's random.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
But I did like that part about waitressing that every
time there was a little dopamine hit of like seeing
what they left and the the you know, it's like
a roll of the dice of like what's it going
to land on? And there's never you can never expect
it or but it's it's random enough that I think
scientists would probably deem it a good thing as for
a dopamine hit, because it's not you can't count on it. Yeah,

(45:42):
it's it doesn't give you every time, and that is
a fun part about it, whereas a salary job is
just like I just know.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
What gets Yeah, I don't see like you're.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Motivated at all because you're just like phoning it in
every day.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
That would be nice too, because if you just I
do envy people who have jobs that they don't have
to take home, and I know that's a rare thing
than we all think it is, because most people's work
does follow them home, even if you're a waitress, yes
and shake it, like what follows you home as a waitress?

Speaker 1 (46:08):
I mean literally sorry to say it really is true.
Not offended by anything. Server if you call me ma'am,
that's only but like, really I will remember something once
I'm home, like, oh, I forgot to bring them honey. Yeah. Oh,
Like something like that will pop up and I hate
that it lives in my brain, but it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
It sucks.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
It gets so fast, like what we do, especially this
restaurant where I work, where like everybody comes all at
once to power lunch and then they're gone. So it's
like all twelve o'clock and one, Brian, you came in
eight lunch. There you saw. I actually want to hear
about your experience of what you saw. But like there's
times whenever people ask you something and you're walking into
the computer to ring it in and then somebody else
comes up and tells you something, Hey, your table needs whatever,

(46:54):
and then then fuck, I forgot that thing. It's like
when you're in a document and you cut it and
then someone asks you something and then instead of paying
it somewhere, you don't never paste it and it's just
lost in the world. Yes, that is why.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
That is literally, that is literally why I've forgotten to
do roast jokes. Minutes before I was completing my set
to turn in for the prompter, I mean like an
hour before the show cut a joke that was one
of my favorite jokes I've ever written. Yes, and I'm
on the dais and Jeff Ross does a joke about
the similar topic that just reminds me of the joke
and I've already done my and I go, oh my god,
where's where's that joke? And it's just like and there

(47:27):
was there's gambling involved where I'm just like, well, or
negotiating in my mind of like well, maybe like because
this edits together later, I can just like do can
I just ask them if I can go back up
and do it because it's so essential. It's like that
that happens all the time with cutting and pasting.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
There's there's supposed to be a thing called a clipboard,
which is an invisible thing on your computer that has
all this stuff that they cut, and I feel like
that's impossible to access. It's gone and only keeps one thing,
the last thing that you cut. There needs to be
a feature where you can retrieve all the things that
you've cut that have been lost into the space of HM.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Well last night talk about wasting time on online. I
tried to make a I did make a reel with
all these pictures of me from that Matt takes on tour.
They're amazing, and I rarely post them all because I'm
usually like when I see pictures from the past weekend,
I'm always just like, oh god, you look like that.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
I need time.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
Yeah, So I was like, oh, I have all these pictures.
And there's like this new Taylor Swift song that is
about performing when you're depressed and shout out to all
the Swifties who are like, Nikki, you are going to
love I can do it with a broken heart because
it is about you know. Part of the song is
like I'm so depressed. I act like it's my birthday
every day. And she's just like she's talking about how
I can do it with the broken heart. She's like

(48:41):
hitting her marks.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
I can.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
I'm a real tough kid. I can handle my shit.
They said, baby, you can make it till you think it.
So I did lights camera, bitch, smile even when you
want to die. He said, he loved me for all time.
Then the lights were good. It's all just about like
she's going through heartbreak. But she's on Ararastur, which is
I mean, I'm gonna get into it later on the
other podcast, but it's incredible because anyone who's seen her

(49:02):
on Aerras tour Me Twelve Times Gonna be fifteen after
the summer she she was performing depressed. I did predict it.
I did say there was a sadness I could sense
at some points, because why wouldn't there be. And I'm
a performer. I know what it's like to perform when
you're depressed. It doesn't mean that you're having a bad
show and that the whole time you're like, I wish
I wouldn't be on stage. It takes you out of it,
but you if you're if you're pro, you can do

(49:24):
it with a broken heart, which she says that, and
even at the end of the song, she's like, come
for my job, like you can. I'll I'm the best
at this. I can do this no matter what. I'll
always be able to perform, no matter what's going on
in my life.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
And it's so good.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
But anyway, I took that song and I was like,
people are using it in reels a lot, so I
was like, I need to get on this fast because
this is don't I don't want like just people who
are like, oh, this song's fun that don't even like
Taylor to like beat me to it and then I'm
just jumping on this trend. So I made a I
spent two hours yesterday making reel. It's so hard to
time things and to edit on the Instagram app, but

(50:00):
I don't have editing software, so I can't do it elsewhere.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
Get cap cut, cap cut.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Everybody said, is capcut cap cuts?

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Okay, Well that's all I needed, but I ended up
I ended up being like, okay, I have I was like,
I'm gonna send it to like someone to make for me,
but then I would have to say this picture. Then
I went it on lights camera bitch, smile and then
on smile. And I can't trust other people's sense of rhythm,
which even if you watch it it's slightly often it
bugs me so much that it's slightly off. Yeah, and

(50:31):
if you zoom in on a picture on reels to
be like you crop it, it does like a weird
glitchy thing when it switches to it, So you have
to edit all the photos beforehand to be the right
size because you can't crop within it. Why can't they
just fix it and make it better? I mean, cap cut, Okay,
I'll do it on cap cut, but it took me.
I mean, it was like four hours of my life

(50:52):
doing this dumb thing that's gotten a thousand likes, which
seems like a lot, but it's not. When I posted
a lot of like you know, I think I posted
three hours ago and I have a million followers, it's
like that's not worth it.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
No story of I have so much to do. That
was such a shame. I mean, it's just that's the
industry though. Also now it's like we'd our whole job
is to create content for Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, that's all
we have. That's all we can do now, constantly, and
it's never ending.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
It's we talked about it with Benedict, it's not it's
once you post something, it's like what's next. And that's
the same thing with the business of like if I
do a show, if I have if you know, I
did three shows this weekend that were like amazing, the
crowds screaming, like so much adoration, like so much pomp
and circumstance, and then it's just like, all right, what's

(51:38):
that's done? Now those people will it's it's over.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
We live in this age and it's good and bad too,
because like you know, whenever we were growing up, we
would have killed to be on TV and have our
own TV show. It's like, well, guess what, now you
have your own TV show. There you go, Instagram, you
have your own channel. Go. Now what are you gonna do? YouTube?

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Go? That's not what the dream.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Well, you really can make anything.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
You can anything.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Not at the level you want to make it up,
but you can. If you want to make a movie,
you can shoot a movie with your iPhone.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
If YouTube would have been around whenever I was a child,
I would be so famous right now. Really all I
did was make content and movies and like with like
a home, you.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
Don't have time around, would you would you want to
do it now if you have time?

Speaker 1 (52:22):
No, I feel so silly being my age and like
trying on wigs and being different characters, Like.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
But is that what you want to do characters?

Speaker 1 (52:29):
And it like no, like I've you know, I struggle
with this, like what to put out because it just
feels silly, But like what takes off is that is
the wigs and the character.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Yes, people love you know.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
It's so funny when a guy puts a towel on
his head and pretends to be his mother and listen,
some of.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Those things hit like you thought somebody like it. Sometimes
they hit and like this one's really funny, but totally
look at the other ones and you're like and then
it's so there's a girl who just sits in her
car and just goes like, hey, she'll just don't do
the most dane observations, but I'm addicted to it. I
forget her name, but she just does what did she
do a thing about the other day? It was it's

(53:08):
just like there's a new term called yapping, Like it's
it's pretty much like what we know yapping as is
like girls just talking too much. And it's like, well,
it's it's like catchy now to be like, oh she's
a yapper, I'm a yapper.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
We're all yappers. And like there's a picture of Taylor
Swift talking like her mouth is open and while she's
out to Nobo with Travis Kelcey and someone was like, oh,
we've got a like grade a yapper on her hands.
It's like every every like every jock guy needs a
yapper girlfriend. And so it's just like we're yappers, and
it's it's kind of like an endearing term. It's not
like a like, oh, she's just a fuckingah. It's actually

(53:46):
like it's cool to be a yapper, but this girl
is just like she just she just does I don't even.
But it's in her car, which is now the new thing,
and the still for it is a very sexy picture
of her in the mirror, a sexy selfie, and then
it's not anywhere in the content. No, that's a new
that's a new trick.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
I don't like that one.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
I I like it because you know why, you can't
get back to it and if you really want to
see it, you're gonna have to like screenshot it like
a loser. So like you can post a hot picture
without it being like look at me. So it's just
like the subtle hot thing that's just a blink, and
I think.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
I like, well, I can't. I can't utilize that trick
in my social media.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
So you can just take a hot picture of girl
a different girl. Yeah that's true, you can't use that,
but you you know, you have other things going. Yeah
I don't know what, but you got that just kidding,
but yeah, you're man like, we all have our things
and we go why do they get to do that?
And we don't get to like you don't have to
look on.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
No, I don't have to look at like anything. I
don't even go on camera.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Yeah that's a good point, but yeah you.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
Do and we're on camera.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Literally fuck and your hat matches your shirt?

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Oh hell yeah?

Speaker 1 (54:54):
You like coordinated?

Speaker 2 (54:55):
This hat is awesome. Shout out to Ink and Stitch,
a local La embroider shop. It's the best. I mean,
this is what local businesses. Everyone loves local businesses, But
going to a place like Ink and Stitch, I realize
how awesome local businesses can be when there's a passionate
business owner who actually cares about what they're doing, as

(55:16):
opposed to like going to lids and having some nineteen
year old who goes to West LA Community College be like, yeah,
I'll make your stupid fucking hat.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
People that like like their jobs and are and what
we were just talking about, like we feel sorry for
like people like I wouldn't want to work here, But
then people you walk in these places and they're like
happy that they're working there, Like we worked at a
venue last night, the Paramount Theater in Huntington, and we
go to these theaters all the time in casinos and
like people are just like they hate their jobs. You know,
it sucks like working a union gig sometimes at these

(55:46):
theaters and these guys are disgruntled and like kind of like,
don't tell me what to do and little gruff. But
these people are so nice, so excited to have us. Yeah,
everyone who works there is not that you can tell
the just whoever's the boss of that place, whoever is
at the top, is probably a good person because it's true.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Down and everyone's happy.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
And we were like, we it's so weird. We had
to even note that these people were just like basically decent.
Like we were like, you guys are so nice, and
they're like, yeah, we just like we all hang out
out outside of work, Like we just all all we
like who we are and we like what we're doing.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
We're not yearning for more.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
This is enough and we make enough money and like
or at least they seemed to be, and they were
so freaking nice.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Well that's what happens when you pay your employees a
living wage and give them if you know.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
It was funny because they don't well no, they do,
but we were like, it's so great here. Like it
was two guys in like the doorway and one of
them is probably like more of the you know, more
in charge of like more of a boss situation, what's
senior position? And then the other one was like not
as much, and and the other guy was like a
little like just had a little personality quirkiness that was

(56:48):
a little different, but like nothing bad or anything, but
just like just a different vibe. He took a picture
with me and was like, I'm such a fan. I
love you so much. But we got to talk about
your feet, like what's going on with your feet? Like
I think he's trying to connect with me and like
met but it was just a weird moment. But I
do I really do like that guy.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
What's going on with your feet?

Speaker 3 (57:05):
I think he just wanted I think he just wanted
to prove that he was like a next level fan, right,
not the best way to do it, but and I
was like, actually, I love my feet and I'm never
getting them operated on because I like the pain of
them being massage. And that shut him up real quick.
He was like, Okay, let's get a picture. I'm done
with this conversation. So then but these guys were and
we were like, we love this vibe so much. Here

(57:25):
you guys just seem great, and he's like yeah. The
senior guy was like, yeah, we all hang out like
we're all going bowling tomorrow, and the guy behind him goes,
you are he goes yeah, he goes yeah, we talked
about it on the slack and he goes, there's a slack.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
It was so funny because then when they left, me
and Ari were just like, oh, boy, Like that was
such a funny moment where we're like, it's so cool
that you all like work together and love each other
and this one guy's clearly been left out of all
of this stuff.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
It was just a funny moment. But I'm sure he's
on the slack now.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Ari Finling, who also went to Indiana University.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
It's so crazy.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
Really, Yeah, I always forget that about him, even though
he literally told me that twelve hours ago.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
Yeah, yeah, I love Ari so much. Okay, we're gonna
take a break and come back with more after my death. Yeah.
It was a massive weekend of Waukegan, Illinois. On Friday.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Did you see the falls?

Speaker 3 (58:18):
Yes, you did, drove past them on Saturday in Senecool, right, Yeah,
they I didn't see, like the big part of it.
I think I thought we thought we were going because
the guy had picked up at the airport and was like,
you guys want to see the falls. It will just
take five minutes. And we're like, we love a five
minute tourist. Yeah, destination, that's all it takes. And then
we just kind of drove through and then we never
ended up parking, and then we were at the casino.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
We were like, did we see it?

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Like I saw it just kind of like rapids, but
I didn't how.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Close was the casino to the falls?

Speaker 3 (58:45):
Five minutes?

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Yeah, yeah, you see. That's one of the things. The
Niagara Falls is a situation that actually helped establish more
national parks and federal park lands in America because people
didn't like how Niagara Falls was capitalized on by different businesses.
Like if you go to Niagara Falls, it doesn't feel
like a park. It feels like there's like the Vegas
Strip right next to the falls, oh, ruining the nature

(59:07):
and the pristine you know, sites that you can see,
but you know, adding a lot of money to the region, right,
and so all their places are like, you can't do
this here, You're not going to do this with the
Grand Canyon imagine you go to the Grand Canyon and
like surrounding the ridges, there's like a casino on the ridge.
That would be terrible.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
It'd be jumping into the canyon because they lost all
their money.

Speaker 3 (59:26):
Yeah, right, No, that's what people do it Niagara Falls
because there's so many casinos around. They have suicides for
people losing all their money. And then if you so,
it empties out into Canada, I guess. And if you
try to commit suicide and you sometimes people survive the falls,
you owe Canada money because they had to like fish
you out, like you there's one way where it's like

(59:49):
it's almost like fifty to fifty where it's like there's
a way you can go off the falls where you
probably will survive. Or so that's what the driver was
telling us, and Annia was like, so do they always
do it in a barrel?

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Somebody wanted to kill themselves have to go get a barrel?

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Can you imagine that all we had to do is
shut down that barrel store and people stopped.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Killing themselves, saved so many lives and closed that barrel.
So it's true, but but this did it in a barrel, right,
I mean I think it was just like, but it's
like a.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
Big thing in the thirties people there's gonna go over
the edge of the falls.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
It was like, so where do they so the barrel?
How does that work?

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Its way?

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
It was so cute.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
And then she told me a story when she was
there that before I went on stage. She was like,
because I go, I don't have anything to say about
this region, and I want to say something to like
about a joke about their area. People love that. I
couldn't think of anything, and she was like, well, last time,
I remember being on tour here and driving through and
there was a blizzard and people in Buffalo were like,

(01:00:55):
you got to watch out for the black guys. You
got to watch out for them. And she was like what.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
And then it ended up it was black eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Right, the black eyes are slippery.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Yes, And I made the joke of like, oh I
could I was. I was like, you should tell that.
That's really funny, Like it's just a funny quip, and
she was like, oh no, I'm not, no way, that's
like so racist, and I'm like, no, it's I don't
think she said that was so racist, but she was
like I could never meaning like it would offend people.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
It's like, who does that offend?

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
It sounds like black guys and it's black ice, Like
is that offense? Like I'm having trouble discerning. Let me
just like take a brief moment and say that I
saw I watched a roast clip of mine the other day.
Like it just came up, and I was like, you
know what you owe you? You never watched this ever
since you did it, Like you've never literally watched the roast.
You never watched a clip of it, like you don't review.

(01:01:40):
Let's just see what you did. Because someone quoted a
joke to me the other day and I didn't remember
saying it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
What is it? Oh, it's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
It's one of my favorite jokes. I believe I wrote it.
I think it's one of mine because I do get
help on the roast, but this one I believe was
one of mine. It was like Pete david Since here
I go, Pete Davidson live from New York.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
It's not your dad. I think that's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
But anyway, that's crazy to say to someone. First of all,
that's insane. I don't know what's wrong with me. Like
I was watching, I told I said to Alec Baldwin,
which I love this joke too, but it was the
clip that I watched was like, it's such an honor
to be here, wrote roasting like Hailey Bieber's fattest, dumbest
uncle or something like. It was just like it was

(01:02:26):
way better than that, But it was like, how dare you? Like?
It was for the first time ever that I was like,
who the fuck do you think you are?

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
Like I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
I don't because people keep going like you're an assassin.
You say things that no one else will say, And
I'm like, do I really like? I think people say
pretty offensive things on these roasts. I don't think I'm
like going the next level. I think it's just because
I looked like I wouldn't because I have blonde hair
and a nice smile or something. But do I think
there is something sociopathic about me? Because I don't when
I watched it. But I go heavier and I even

(01:02:57):
pull back more than there's some jokes I write that
I'm like that I just can't be done, and but
I just I was having this. So then we're but
back to the black eyes thing. Okay, right, So I
said it would be funny to say, like, you know,
in a blizzard, people don't have to tell you to
watch out for black guys because they stand out a lot.
And they go like Matt and not. You were like,
I was like, is that funny? And they and they

(01:03:18):
were like, yes, but you can't say that. And I
go why why? Like why is that racist? They have
a darker skin tone, which would stand out more in
a blizzard, Like that is just I'm not being racist.
That just is what it is they have.

Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
But the thing is is that it's white people that
will find it racist. A black person would play laugh
at that, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
But there's nothing, there's nothing in white people, there's nothing judgment.
I think racism is saying that people are worse, not
that they're different, but it's saying that like someone's inherently worse.
Saying that someone stands out in a blizzard because of
their skin tone is more different than the color of
snow than a white person's skin tone is just a fact.
And I said to ariego it's physics, and he goes,
I don't know if it's physics, And I go, light

(01:04:00):
refraction and sound waves and color waves. Isn't that physics.
It literally is a fact that a darker skin tone
would stand up.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
So is that offensive?

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
I mean, it can be offensive to some and if
not offensive to others, I would argue it is not offensive.

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
And if you are offended by.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
You were actually wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
It's not You don't get to say what's offensive to you.
Things are actually black and white, offensive or not offensive,
and you can say the final thought. You can say exactly,
you could say that you're offended. But there are things
that are actually offensive because they're meaning to be mean,
but just saying something like, for instance, there's there's some

(01:04:40):
jokes I've been wanting to write recently that reference someone's
that they've been literally charged with a crime like that
they've already served time for. That is a crime that
they were charged for, and I wanted to make a
joke about it, and people go, I don't think you
can go there, and I go, it could go there
if it was alleged. That would be offensive if or alleged,
and I'm was And they haven't been convicted of it.

(01:05:02):
Uh huh, But this has been a convicted by the
They are a blank it happened out, yes, and a cannibal.
So for me to say, or when I make a
joke about Anthony Bourdain on stage where I'm like, oh,
you know, my hotel room was depressing. It had bubble,
and I say all these things that are like, oh,
it makes me want to kill myself. They had the
magnifying mirror and a scale and all these things. I'm like,

(01:05:24):
did I get the Boordaine bungalow? And people go people
always grown? And I go, oh, did you did you
just find out? He'd like, I'm just stating a fact,
Like I guess I'm making a it's a joke because
I'm referencing it. But all I'm referencing is that he
killed himself, and he did. I'm not telling him to
kill himself. I'm not saying it's good that he did.
I'm making no opinion about.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
The blame of his suicide on the feet of some
kind of hotel room.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
No, I guess I'm not even doing that. I'm just
referencing that he killed himself in a hotel room, and
I'm saying that they named I'm saying, did you name
this hotel room after the guy who killed himself in a
hotel room?

Speaker 2 (01:06:01):
And the audience is like, of course, they wouldn't do
something like that, are you?

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
You're merely offended that you brought up his tragic death,
and that is not offensive. It is a fact that
he killed himself. I will not apologize for that. I
just want if I say my joke about Kevin Pollock,
where I said, you do a great Robin Williams depression,
I wish you would finish it. That I'm wishing he

(01:06:26):
would kill himself. That is literally offensive. Any luck for that.
I don't know that I did, but maybe you saw
some I don't remember, but you were.

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
I remember the time. You're like, this is why I
do this is that it calls awareness to suicide. I
have jokes like that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
Yeah, I guess that's a that's kind of a cop out.
I just did it because it was funny. So I
wish someone would kill themselves. It's just insane thing to say,
and obviously a joke. Yeah, so hyperbolic. It's it's a
great joke. But that is offensive if someone's to be
offended by that, of course, because I'm wishing. I'm saying
I wish you would kill himself. But if i'm just

(01:06:59):
reference I'm saying that someone killed themselves, you don't get
to You can grow, but you're wrong to grow because
it's nothing offensive. I'm just bringing up something that maybe
brings up hard memories for you, but it's not offensive.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
Uh huh, it's not up to it's up to the individual.
Offensive is subjective, and it just you know, it sucks
that some people get offenditive things and that they don't
seem like on the surface that they should be.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Like blackface is offensive because white people used to say
black people can't have jobs in Hollywood. We're going to
paint our faces black and thus you don't get to
work because and we're gonna make fun of you and
make it look like an insane version of what But
the to acknowledge that a black person's skin tone is
darker than a white person's skin tone is not offensive.

(01:07:44):
It also it changes, literally is a fact.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
It changes. There's gonna be plenty of things we're saying
now that in ten twenty years people are like, that's
really offensive. The fact that you've sat like it used
to be offensive. It used to be offensive. That you're
wearing a short sleeve shirt was offensive at some point. Yeah,
it all changes, and you know.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
No, but it's it doesn't change. Facts are not offensive,
I have. I think that's where I draw the line
if you are restating a fact. If I say someone
is a murderer and they've served time for murder, even
though they served the time and they got out of prison,
I still get to say that because that's I didn't
That's not offensive bringing that up and reminding them. Like
even when Kaitlyn Jenner I brought up I was gonna
do the joke of like, Caitlyn Jenner, what a beautiful

(01:08:26):
woman you killed with your car that I didn't end
up doing because she was said that she would walk
off the day as if anyone brought up that thing,
and I was like, oh, okay, great, I won't do it.
That's fine because and because that that is a little
bit of that's it's not offensive to the family of
the woman because I'm bringing up something that did happen. Yeah,
it might be hard to hear. It's not offensive because

(01:08:49):
I'm not saying she's deserved it. I'm not saying she's oh,
I'm not saying something mean about I'm saying she's a
beautiful woman. First of all, I don't think it's offensive,
but I do understand that it's hard to hear things
and and remember things. But I would argue that we
should bring up things that are hard to hear because
otherwise they're forgotten. Yeah, people get forgotten if you're just like, well,

(01:09:12):
let's not talk about their death. Let's not like in
my family, we do not talk about when I was anorexic.
We don't ever mention it. It was a really hard
time in my family's life. I almost died, So we
don't talk. We act like it literally didn't happen. Is
that good? I don't find it to be ver. Yeah,
it's because it makes you feel like I did something
wrong or like it was such a hard time that

(01:09:32):
we don't We act like it didn't happen, and so
I you know, we can't really joke about it. There's
just it's it literally is a race. Do you Every
family has this where you erase something whereas dad hit
mom or you know, the dog choked in front of
all of us and died like something horrible and we
all act like it didn't happen. I would argue it's
not doing much good to not talk about hard things.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
It depends on where you lie, because it's also not
good to dwell on things.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
No, but I think giving them a little something.

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
Yeah, like every year you have like a little celebration.

Speaker 3 (01:10:03):
Yes, every year. I don't eat for a day just
to remember.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
But well that's what Jews do.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Oh that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
Yeah. And Ramadan, Yeah that's a month. Yeah, it's insane, insane.
I'm just saying it's very difficult. That's so I'm saying
it's very difficult.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
I got invited into a Ramadan feast that my neighbors
were having. Oh these like fifteen like young boys that
were dressed and all the stuff, like white like robes
and everything. And I was just like coming home and
they were like, come come, it's Ramadan. It's feast. It's feast.
Come in, come in, come on. And You're like, I've

(01:10:40):
eaten today. So and I like went into their apartment
and they all had like they had a sheet spread
out on the floor and all this food, like these
weird biscuits and like like pastiers and stuff. Weird, Carla,
that's a fun stuff. They were filming me. It's different, weird.

Speaker 3 (01:10:58):
It was.

Speaker 1 (01:10:58):
Yeah, it was, by the way, say weird. When they
mean different, Okay, it's not people, they mean difficult.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
Yes, exactly totally. I mean all of these words, but
that's so cute. And we did that and I was just.

Speaker 1 (01:11:10):
Like, Okay, I have to go. I need to take
my dog out. And this is and.

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
People say offended when they mean I want attention.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
Yes, but they were like some people got offended on
my show last week and wrote a comment on someone
someone posted a picture of my show and then I
like went to go to comment like thanks for coming,
and I saw a comment of like, uh, did the
show get better after she defended pedophiles because that's what
we left, and I God, I just wrote which they
they're not even podcast listeners. I wrote with the original

(01:11:39):
spelling of cool cat underneath it, and I'm just like, yeah,
did get better? And they then the person explained it
to them underneath of like that's not what she was saying.
And that's another thing that I'm like, you can't get offended. Literally,
pedophiles don't choose to want to fuck kids. And if
they they don't choose to want to, let me be
clear about that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:58):
They choose to.

Speaker 3 (01:11:59):
I don't believe any when chooses anything. But we're not
going to get into no free will.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
You can take a class and learn how to want.

Speaker 1 (01:12:06):
I think it's a master class, a.

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Master class from Is he a famous pedophile?

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
Well, like the Nickelodeon thing, he's not really a pedo
on that, but he definitely put a system together that you.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Know, that's interesting. There's a lot of really famous like
serial killers and mass murderers, but I don't have I
can't recall famous pedos.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
Michael Jackson is the most famous.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
Yes, that's correct.

Speaker 3 (01:12:30):
I would say allegedly offensive. That's offensive, Yeah, because he
was probably moston Paris would be offended. Yeah, my god,
I don't even want to get into that. Should we say?

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
I want to keep getting invited to her things. I think, yeah,
she does. She I think Michael Jackson is Paras Hilton's godfather, godfather.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
And so she Yeah, she's a staunch believer that those
are fake stories.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
A lot of people are a lot, I mean, there
are people that believe, and I'm open to it that
Scott Peterson didn't kill Lacy Peterson, which is one of
those things that you're just like, what the fuck? But
Oj Simpson, I mean, with his death last week, did
you guys see the thing that the you know, the
ESPN documentary was amazing back in the day, but I
don't remember all the details from it, but a clip
came up from it the other day where he sees

(01:13:15):
so after his trial, where he's already you know, he's
let go and he's not guilty. They're doing an interview
with him, and they find all they needed was to
they had the Bruno Molly shoe, right, they had the
footprint of blood of this Bruno Molly shoe, and all
they had to do was connect him to this Bruno
Molly shoe. But they couldn't right during the trial. But
then later on they found a picture of him in
the fucking shoe. And there's only two hundred and ninety

(01:13:36):
nine shoes, sorry, one hundred ninety nine shoes maybe it
was two ninety nine, let's be generous, two hundred ninety
nine shoes of this size sold in the United States,
and he was wearing one of them on this red carpet.
And there's a video of him being presented with a
picture of him in the shoe. But this is not
like I think this was maybe at his this is
why he was later convicted.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
You know that he was.

Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Later actually convicted of the murder and found guilty, but
his eyes get so big he literally goes it's you
couldn't do it if you try to make your eyes
as big as his art. When there's like a frozen
picture of him seeing the shoe for the first time,
and it reminded me of the Jinx, which is back.

Speaker 2 (01:14:17):
It is the Jink.

Speaker 3 (01:14:18):
There's a there's an updated The Jinks HBO documentary where
the guy has the microphone on and goes in the
bathroom at the end of the documentary. Spoiler alert, turn
off your podcast right now if you haven't seen the
original Jinks, because you're gonna want to. It's the best
thing ever. He goes in the bathroom after they so
he's the same thing he was tried. He got off
for it. Then they do a documentary because this guy's

(01:14:39):
a narcissist and can't keep his mouth shut, and they
find like the handwriting for whatever they link him to it,
and they have the proof right in front of him
and they show him they're like, this is your handwriting,
and then this is the handwriting of the killer, like
and it's just like and he and he's worked with
this documentary crew. They seem to have been on his
side the whole time, kind of helping him vindicate himself.

(01:14:59):
But they're like, we have the proof right here, and
you just see him see it in this moment, and
he starts kind of like like he starts doing this
weird like his body can't help but respond to like
the fact that he's guilty. And he's like, well, that's
you know, peculiar whatever. He says some bullshit. I forget
exactly what happened. And then he goes in the bathroom

(01:15:20):
and he's still miked, and he forgets on mike himself,
and he goes in the bathroom and he's just by himself,
and you just hear him go something to the fact
of like, well they know.

Speaker 1 (01:15:32):
I killed them all.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
Oh my god, I killed them all.

Speaker 3 (01:15:35):
And then he starts going in the burping and the
burping like he starts reflecting on like what they just caught.
And then he comes out and I think they tell
him you miked. And then there's another response of that,
like where he's just like realizing it. So then he
got he we went to prison because of that. Wow,
and then he died in present of COVID. But there's
a new documentary out that has even more like crazy
stuff and people are so excited because at the time.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Got in prison of COVID.

Speaker 3 (01:15:57):
Yeah yeah, Robert Durst, whoa, yeah, it's nuts. So that's
out right now, so as lovers and liars, don't even
forget it. The first two episodes now available on the
CW app for free. The third episode is coming out
on the CW this Thursday on the CW and Benedict
Polizzi was on the show from at last week. People
are loving it. It's still so early, so you can

(01:16:19):
get involved. I will have a Taylor Swift recap of
the album and all my thoughts on it. All positive thoughts,
no criticism. We're not talking about we might get into
a little bit of theory of like who what song
is about? But I don't want to be a Sarah
or Hannah, and you guys know what I'm talking about
when I say that, so we might not even get that.
If you just want a positive review of the Torture

(01:16:39):
Poets Department and all the things we love about it,
listen to that later this week and thank you Carlisle
for coming in. You can follow her on Carlisle Forrester
spelled exactly the way you would think it would be
with two rs. Yeah, I'm the Forester on Instagram. She's hilarious.
Support her and yeah, we'll see you next time. See
you in Saint Louis this week on You Guys at
the Fox Theater and then Omaha, Omaha on Sunday night

(01:17:03):
after the Fox Theater in Saint Louis on Saturday, sou
Saint Louis and Omaha coming up, and then Vegas with
David Spade at the Venetian. Dates coming up I think
May seventeenth or eighteenth or something like that with David Spade.
That's going to be exciting. And check nicky Laser dot
com or a bunch of new tour dates coming out.
Thanks for supporting the show and we'll see you when

(01:17:24):
we see you. Rebeca Hi

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