#472 Guests: Sean O’Connor & Lizzy Cooperman, A Shy Hole & Wet Handshakes

Nikki and Brian are hanging out with comedians Lizzy Cooperman and Sean O’Connor. Nikki knew she loved Lizzy from the moment they met because Lizzy had a messy purse. They all agree that showing your mess is being real. Nikki had an epic night after hearing about Taylor Swift endorsing Kamala Harris. They gave a shoutout to a bestie, sent out positive vibes, and also said it’s cool if she's not feeling it. Sean thinks he needs to get off of antidepressants because he is indifferent about stuff people have feelings over. Lizzy isn’t a fan of being touched, while Nikki knows some guys expect a hello kiss, and she’s not completely grossed out by it. In the Final Thought, one of Sean's most embarrassing moments comes out and it makes for a great joke.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glaizer Podcast. Glaser.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Here's Nicky here. I am welcome to the show. It's
Nicky Glazer Podcast. Third episode of the week. Aren't you
guys lucky? Aren't we lucky? We get to do three
we get to do We don't have to do anything.
That's what you change it to. When you say have to,
you say get to yes, to make your life seem
like it's you're you're being rewarded. Yeah, and I actually a.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Recording a podcast. I mean that's more. That's easily a
get to.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
That is a get to. Sometimes it's a half to.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Imagine you have to go to the plant and like work.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
The Absolutely, we are so blessed. No, I mean, okay,
let me just at the table. Brian Frangie is here.
Sean O'Connor is here. He was on yesterday, you remember.
And joining us now is Lizzie Cooperman. She's been on
the show before. Maybe I'm not on this podcast.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
You've been on you up a million times. Yeah, from
the old days of the series show and one of
my best friends. We've known each other since two thousand
and six. First day I moved to la Maybe not
the first day, but the first time I ever like
went to an open mic at the comedy store. I
ran into Lizzie Cooper. She was just another girl on
the patio. We had just signed up and put our

(01:18):
names in for pot Luck.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Just another girl on the patio.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
I love that novel. And so you were we were
both smokers at the time, and you were smoking and
I was I didn't have a lighter, because of course
I didn't, and I I've told the story a million times,
but it's just a perfect, uh explanation of how we met.
And then I was like, hey, I looked at you
and I was like, hey, do you have a lighter?

(01:43):
And you were like yeah one second, and you were
looking through your bag. And then I kind of wanted
to help you in a way, I guess, and I
was like, I think it might be in that pocket
or something, and she just like grasped her purse to her.
I was like, honestly, I would rather you look at
my vagina and two thousand and six. And that was
a crazy thing to say to a stranger. I mean,
I think now we kind of talk that way, but

(02:05):
for me, it was like, oh my god, this woman
just like spoke to me like, I like, she's my
best friend already, and I was just you just have
those click moments where you're like, I need you in
my life line. And then you were friends with Pete Lee, right,
who was my who I hated at the time because
he broke my heart. And I told you remember, you
were like, so you know Pete and I was like, yeah,

(02:27):
he's out on my phone and.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Out of my life on my phone.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
My phone, and we have been friends. And it's great
to have you here.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
I got and my bag is the same. It's still messy,
lots of quarters with gum stucks.

Speaker 5 (02:45):
I love it.

Speaker 6 (02:46):
This actually seems like the like the fourth scene in
a lesbian rom.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Cos it's true like our even yesterday, I got your
car and you're like, I'm so sorry it's a mess.
I'm like, I'm so glad your car is. I would
I wasn't even a mess, Like I would never even
have noticed because that's how I am. And like I
love when I get in people's cars who I respect,
or see their purses and I see that it's as

(03:10):
disorganized as mine is because it makes me feel like
you're someone I want to be. So I was like
happy I'm always happy when your car is messy. That's
so nice. And if my car's not messy, I'm living
a lie. Like at something things aren't going well for me.
I'm I'm not being myself, right.

Speaker 6 (03:29):
Yeah, you're trying to show somebody else that you are clear.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah, that's so true.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
And the first season of The Bear, when it was
a comedy still, there was this great line in like
the second episode when Richie has the new girl in
the car with him and he goes, these rb cups
are from different visits.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
That's really funny.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
That's one of the best lines from the show.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, that's really cute. Yeah, I'm I'm. I was even
looking around our hotel room today and I'm just like,
this is a night and I was just looking around
every little thing, and I go, let me just find
where Chris's things are in that And to find one
of Chris's things would have been where's waldo with it?
Like it's one thing out of hundreds of little things
scattered about around, one is Chris's. The rest are tucked

(04:15):
away in a ziploc bag, inside a container, inside of
a suitcase.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
Do you remember when I was like, I want to
invent something called garbage that was like a garbage can
that you would put you would hook it onto the
back of like that exists. So I've learned over time.

Speaker 6 (04:40):
Branding alone means that you could take this to market.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
I totally still want to. I feel passionately about that.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
You could, like, here's the thing, we would you use it?
Because you could just use a paper bag that you've
gotten some stuff like we could you could do you.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Want to keep?

Speaker 5 (04:56):
Do you want to do?

Speaker 3 (04:56):
You want to encourage you and your passengers to add
extra garbage to your car, like having a garbage can bag.
We'll just let it pile up and then you'll have more.

Speaker 6 (05:07):
But I think you can get a licensing agreement with
like Lyft and uber and every single.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Like get it in a smart garbage cans that just
go around and travel on wheels, like yeah, those way
mos if you don't know, they're like little robots that
deliver food and they're all over l A. The first
time you see what, you're like, I'm living in the future.
This is insane that this exists, and now they're just ubiquitous.

Speaker 6 (05:34):
They're everywhere, dirty.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
All have a name. Like one time I saw one
that was.

Speaker 6 (05:43):
Like Colleen, and I don't know, it's not Yeah, like
you are not a fucking Evan.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
I've met a million ovens.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
It is weird.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
You know that new movie that's coming out, The Kind
Robot or whatever it's called The Wild Robots, is I am?
That is propaganda for AI. It's it's introducing the concept
that robots have feelings to children, and I think it
should be banned.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
In the Oh my god, I just read about something
that is propaganda. Oh, oh my god. The new Fox
cartoon that we were talking about. People are saying that
it is actual propaganda about universal healthcare and now it's
not going to work because it's called like well.

Speaker 6 (06:23):
Universal income, Yeah, about automation and automation replacing like the
common man, and then they get three thousand dollars a
month to do whatever they want.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, it's it's propaganda, though, like it because it's it's
not good apparently, and it's like it's was conceived of
by evil people to like you.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
Think that the mind greenlit this show because.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
It was going to give not Fox, but people behind
Fox in like I.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Like the people who are there's some insidiousness, like shadow
corporations run the world have greenlit this so that it
can make the universal basic income look bad.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yes, well it was created by iin RAND.

Speaker 5 (07:08):
Well it's as funny as.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah that I read that last night. But that's so
interesting that like that could be happening.

Speaker 5 (07:15):
Where well that would explain it.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Well, I also read and just be on the lookout.
There was this guy on not read, but watched a TikTok.
This guy which could be a lie too, nothing is real,
but he said that he paid one hundred and thirty
dollars like pounds I guess UK to have an at
You could buy an a. You can buy an article
in a publication. So publications that are just like kind

(07:38):
of you know these D lists maybe e F list publications,
you can buy an article, have a I write the
whole thing. So he bought this article that Pedro Pascal.
He just was like making up a lie to see
how far it would go. One article he bought Pedro Pascal.
It was written by Ai. Pedro Pascal was going to
star in the new Minecraft movie as one of the people.
And this was like three years ago or something like that.

(08:00):
And and he said that, oh, you know, Pedro Pascal
has originally starred in like some movie that was script
by and he wrote his name and he's just some
guy and none of these nothing was like everything was
a lie. There was no nothing to support any of
this in any way anywhere online, and within days it

(08:21):
was picked up by major publications. I mean it was
like Variety.

Speaker 6 (08:24):
I was.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
I was looking at all the ones and within days
and it and it's not on im This was years ago,
so it's probably been removed. But on IMDb they put
it like you know, on the Minecraft cast speculated Pedro Pascal,
all these articles about it and it was all a
lie from.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
A guy and nothing you cross checked anymore. There's no
journalism is dead.

Speaker 6 (08:45):
I think everything's dead. I think we're all just going
to have to put a big smile on our face.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
When Trump last night, they go, did you say that
you she wasn't black, and he goes, I don't know,
and I go, look there's video.

Speaker 5 (08:56):
Yeah said it.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
We all saw you say it, and now you can
just say I don't know that I said that.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah, the thing that we all saw you said exactly well,
the same thing as well. Fox News was saying last night,
and they keep propagating this idea. That the good people
on both sides in response to the Charlotte spelting is
a hoax.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yes, because he's not saying just the Nazis.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
He's saying the other people who are marching with the
Nazis who don't identify it.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
I have to say that I read a Sam Harris
article about that quote of good people on both sides,
and obviously I hate everything that comes out of the
man's mouth, Donald Trump, but that was kind of taken.

Speaker 5 (09:32):
Out of context, taken out of context, was.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Taken out of context, and Sam Harris has no like
he doesn't want to prove Donald Trump right or anything.
But he didn't mean there's it's.

Speaker 5 (09:43):
You know it but just it is a hoax. It
was not, but he it's I had a hunch that
Fox News is right.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
It's bending, it's bending the context a little bit.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
Yeah, okay, he.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Said so many awful things. I'm sure he would have
meant yeah, I mean, it's but I you know, we
have to if we want them to be fair, which
they're never going to be, we have to be fair
and say, okay, well that one was alone.

Speaker 6 (10:08):
I know it's so unfair that they get to be
unfair I'm just gonna be I'm like every Republicans of pedophile.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
You get, you have to prove it to me.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
It is interesting because for a while it was like
they go low, we go high. And then the weird
stuff started happening, and we're like, oh, if they start
we started calling them weird. It's like, if they go low,
we're going to go low too and call the mart
And it was like working to go low with them.
So maybe you're right. The debates were last night. This
is going to air, you know, days after, so what
we have to say is probably going to be redundant.

(10:40):
But I, like I Chris was at work, it was
about to start. I had a Pilates class booked, but
I was like, I'm going to cancel it because I
need to watch this. But then I was having so
much anxiety of watching it alone, and I was so
nervous for Kamala that I just I just rushed and
was like, I mean, I gotta do a class because
I can't be doing and so the whole class, I
was just like I I did the OCD thing of

(11:01):
like if you aren't if you don't nail everything in
this class, Kamala won't do a good job.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
That is so easy.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
I did a similar wing.

Speaker 4 (11:11):
I was like, whoever is speaking when I skip ahead
and press play is going to be the next president?

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yes? Yes, I do those all the time. And so
this whole class I was busting my fucking ass. And
then there were little parts that were hard and I
was like, she can waiver a little bit, like.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Was going to match her.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
So I was like, she can have moments like you.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Mean pas, Well, she did waiver at the very first questions. Okay,
the very first question she was a little nervous. Clearly.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
My wife was like, oh you're like Kamala, you get
dry out.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
My god, that she gets so she had a little
dry mouth. I didn't watch the beginning.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Till she was very nervous at the beginning.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
She won over the dry mouth contingent of voters in
America by relating to them.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
That was That was the point. Yeah, I was split
at the beginning.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Stars are just like their voices are usually silence because
their mouths are so dry.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Well, I was in this class and I was like,
oh my god, all these girls in this class are
also so anxious about the selection. But they weren't. They
just as I was looking around, like, is anyone else
like teeth chattering like on edge and they were all.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
Just like Zen and the blissful ignorance of being a
liberal California plates.

Speaker 6 (12:23):
Yeah, person, Yeah, they're just more worried that like Jade
and Smith has a respond to their ds.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Chattering perfect instead of God, he will write back.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
Then he's the clear winner. Did you think somebody won?
Did you think there was a clear winner?

Speaker 2 (12:41):
After watching it after Taylor swifts endorsement.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
I did okay.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
According to Flashpoles, Kamala Harris was the clear winner.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
I didn't watch enough of it to say it was
a kind.

Speaker 6 (12:52):
Of a decimation, like he did a really bad job
and like, listen, yeah, I'm a white liberal.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
To who though? To us of course, But I was
asking Chris, I go, how is he doing? He goes,
He's not doing well? Like he goes, he's floundering and
he's kind of like flustered. And I go, but to
people he likes, is are they gonna be like, what's
going on with this guy?

Speaker 6 (13:11):
I never reveal how much of a like a petty
bitch I am, so immediately after the debate, I went
on to conservative Reddit and I was just reading there.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Like live, Oh that's fine. Yeah, I see what they're saying.

Speaker 6 (13:23):
And everyone kind of agrees on that that ABC was
very unfair to him. He did a bad job, but
his final answer was good because no one fact checked it. No.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, well it's not a good sign when like you're
complaining about the refs, you know, at the end of
the game, and that's pretty much what's happening. It's pretty
clear that Kamala performed above expectations, which is really what
she needed to do because she people didn't expect her
to do well at all. People didn't expect her to
see presidential at all. People had no idea.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
I think they didn't expect that.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
I thought it was Everyone was like, well, I couldn't
go to Chris for what he's reading because he's very
plugged in, and I go, what are people saying? And
he's like, She's like, this is what she does as
a prosecuting Like you did not feel it didn't feel like.

Speaker 4 (14:11):
She hit home the fact that the Supreme Court ruled
that if he's voted in, he basically is he can't
get in trouble for any misconduct or write anything like that.
I feel like she she could have hit home more
out for people. You are heading into a dictatorship?

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Do you understand what that is saling? Like, just spell
it out for everyone who might not be listening, just
like like she did. You said at the vice presidential
debate where she said, if you believe in pro choice,
you believe in you, He's coming for you. Just a
fucking down.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
I don't think that's going to go.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
I don't think describing him as a dictator is going
to influence anybody that hasn't already made up their mind.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
And then she should have said, and if you vote
for me, you get a free spicy chicken sand what.

Speaker 5 (15:00):
Wrap these two throws?

Speaker 2 (15:05):
That reminds me of Lizzie's joke from ages ago where
you were saying that you feel and I think about
it all the time. That's the mark of such a
good joke, where you old people, old people ordering.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
Oh I hate having to hear old people order things
like hull of panal poppers. I just want them to
be like, I'll have a strawberry milkshake, not like a
triple berry blast like.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Bad. It was the same way I thought about Dick
Van Dyke being at the Creative arts always, the whole
ceremony and not winning. I was like, he can't just
sit here like he's on borrowed time, aren't we all?
But like we can't waste these people's time. Yes, it's disrespectful.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
It is disrespectful. He's a legend.

Speaker 6 (15:47):
And to make him put on like a tuxedo and
get in a car and go downtown hasn't been Oh
he's shocked.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
So funny all this burt people dressed as superheroes.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
But we'll get off the We'll get off the debates
because I know that so many people aren't interested, but
you shouldn't.

Speaker 7 (16:06):
I just wanted to say something quick. There was a
very nice moment. It's nine to eleven today. Oh you
know this comes out after nine to eleven. There was
a nice moment where Donald Trump, Kamala Harris, and Biden
all kind of had this like I don't.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Know, sweet, oh my god.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
And it's like Mike Bloomberg too, he is.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
So horny for Kamala.

Speaker 6 (16:27):
I do think I think he couldn't even look at
her because I think, like, I think he just likes.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
It was Jimmy Carter there. He might be the first
president to ever reach one hundred. Isn't that kind of fun.

Speaker 5 (16:38):
He probably wasn't there. I think he's pretty sickly.

Speaker 6 (16:40):
I think.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
I think someone he was dominated against me special pre recorded.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
I think at this point someone has to reach a
hundred for him, so funny.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
I think he did say in the news that he
trying to stay alive just so he can vote in
the Yeah, oh my god, in the next election.

Speaker 5 (17:06):
So he's not feeling so good.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
I don't know, you can't be.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
Feeling good at approaching one hundred. I just I can't
imagine what the bones.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
In the hospice for like eight months. Yeah, I thought
that was like.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
A one week Oh my god, Halloween costume Jimmy Carter
would be good.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Oh my god, I don't know how good is the
cons Halloween is when people can really get canceled. It's
like it's really dicey. Well, I wanted to talk about
real quick. I mean, Taylor swifts endorsement coming through was
it was just so I mean I started, I found

(17:44):
out from Robbie Prau at Netflix. He wrote me and
he's always writing me like snarky little things. Uh, just
and he just wrote me, n yeah, like that kind
of thing. But he wrote me last night as I
was walking to the comedy store to do my said
and I was kind of just like, I don't know
how to feel about this debate and I'm just like,
I don't even and he just goes, uh, fine, she

(18:06):
crushed her endorsement. I'm a Swifty now and that's that's.
I go, oh my god, it happened.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
This is how I'm finding out. He goes, I want
this role in your life. He's the man who liked
Green Lights.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Specials at that.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Now his role is just Swift news, which is so funny.
But shout out Robbie Prauh, thank you for that. And
it was so exciting because I'm walking like right by
the comedy store. I'm walking in and I read I
like kind of just graze over her endorsement. I'm just like, oh,
it's everything I wanted to be, like, She's it just
And it was so weird because the night before I

(18:38):
had been on Reddit and like all the Taylor Swift
subreddits and I follow a bunch of them, are all like,
if she doesn't do it soon, like we might fucking
walk away from this girl, like and I wasn't there yet,
but it was like reaching that point of like what's
going on?

Speaker 6 (18:53):
Yeah, the us open with her and Brittany, I think
was like you saw like a little bit of a turn.
There's like the picture like which, by the way, like
I just think she was having a fun time with
her boyfriend and then like she saw somebody she knew
after having two joints and she escaped them a hugs, yes,
and then like snap, snapstap stamp.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
That is, after a couple drinks. I would hug Saddam Hussein, I.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Wish, he said and almost French though, I mean.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Our girl was having some fun at the I don't
began her hugging a girl like I will hug people
that I'm friends with, people who are going to vote
for Trump. Am I like crazy about it? No, but
like it's the way it is, And I think that
was that was a big moment. Yeah, everyone was like
she's friends with this girl who liked a post by Trump,
which I think both parties were drunk when each thing happened.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
I wish Taylor's post had been like it is with
bleary eyes an anauseous stomach that I endorsed. Yeah, like
I fully hungover.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
That's so funny because she made an appearance later that
night after the US Open where she was clearly like
drunk and in a way that I completely I'm all for.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
But do you have a response to this. I saw
there's a couple of people that follow on Instagram who
are Swifties or at least swift fans, and they posted
in anger that she made that endorsement and said like,
I love you Swift, but please take this post down.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Why.

Speaker 5 (20:22):
I don't know. I want to know what you think
about that.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
I think that's ridiculous. We have someone who I just
am so grateful that there's someone who that is not
connected to politics really at all, aside from the fact
that she has so much power that made the state
like she might have saved our democracy, like this pop
star might have saved our democracy, the one pop star

(20:46):
I've devoted my life to. I feel very vindicated today,
to be honest with you, that I wake up to
text from my dad being like, I have hope again,
to like everyone online that I've never seen post about
Taylor being like thank you Taylor, Like all these really
cynical liberal people that like have always rolled their eyes
about Taylor swift or like, thank you Taylor, because that's
how meaningful it is. And it's like and and thank

(21:07):
god she did, and thank god she's not you know,
because the night before I was reading stuff that was
like she's a billionaire, you guys, of course she's going
to vote for Trump, like they all want to protect
their money and that's the most the thing important to them.
And I was just like, not her, and it just
felt so good.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
And then I got to announce.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
We don't know, but like obviously she's told us she's
not going to. But I loved how she signed it off,
you know, Childless cat Lady, which is so funny.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
It's funny.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
It was a great endorsement, and I like, not a
swift ye. I was like soaring after reading it. I
shared it.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
I cried, I want to I saw you share it.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
I was like, Okay, I'm like this this is huge.
This is kind of like, you know, as close as
we have to God coming down.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
I'm not kidding you. It really felt like it. And
it was great because I walked into the green room
backstage and you know, the guy Aaron, he's a comic
from no He's from Austin and he has cerebral palsy,
so he does. He's nonverbal, but he has a little
boombox on his pants and then he types something and
then it talks through the boombox. He's a comedian. He's
been on kill Tony. Anyway, He's like in town. It's

(22:14):
really funny and really nice. But I walked in. He
was like, how are you? And I was like, I
was like, Taylor Swit just in dorse kmmla. He was like,
I don't follow things, and I was like, you should.
He's made fun of you before. He's got a great
sense of humer though. But anyway, I was just like
in the best mood backstage and then things got annoying

(22:35):
fast backstage and I'm not going to get into it,
but I will off air. But then I go on
stage and it was so fun because I got to
tell a room of people that didn't know, like I
was like, I'm in the best mood, Taylor just indorse kamla,
and they like fucking exploded. I got to like announce
it people. People are excited because it does feel like
it was like it's gonna move, like she won the

(22:57):
debate after and the timing of it was perfect. And
then Kamala gave a speech after the debate and she
walked off to the man by Taylor Swift. So I'm
guessing I can't imagine this wasn't planned with their coordinator.

Speaker 6 (23:09):
Like I'm not I'm not endorsing this about America, but
there's only two people with more power than the president
and this, Taylor Swift and Beyonce and man.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
No, maybe Joe Rogan.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
If Joe Rogan came out and endorsed Kamala, that would
be game over.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Yeah, that would be.

Speaker 6 (23:25):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Okay, we got to go to break break and we'll
be back with more after this.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
I have a thing.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah, so before I forget, So, there is a bestie
who reached out to me who wanted to shout out.
And this bestie has a fiance who's your biggest fan,
who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last month, and she's
going in for surgery in October and that you checked

(23:53):
your watch. Okay, she's going into surgery and octo.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Wait, so he wrote you his fiance a woman has
thyroid cancer going in for surgery and we're.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Hopeful for a full recovery, and we want to know
if you give a shout out to his fiance. What's
her name, Anissa Melee, Anissa Mayor a really flowy name.
It really flows off the top, Anissa Melee.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
So easy to memorize Melee.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
So that shout out to Anissa Melee. And we're thinking
about you and hopefully you have a full recovery. And yeah,
you kick thyroid cancer out of your body permanently.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
My god, I'm so sorry you're going through that, both
of you. I'm so sorry, and I hope that you
have positive thoughts. And the thing about manifestation, were we
talking about this that yeah, it's like yesterday because I
want all I want to tell people with cancer, because
I think if I got cancer, the first thing I
would do was just start telling myself like it's gone.

(24:51):
Thanks for showing up, but you're gone now. Like I
would start talking to it and trying to like manifest
it away easy for me to say, of course, right.
I would also do all of the you know, western
science things that I needed to do, but I will
not steve jobs this. But I would also add in
that kind of positive attitude because I really do believe
that stuff works and obviously leads to an Emmy nomination

(25:15):
as people have seen on the podcast, I manifested that
there is no talk of me winning an Emmy back
when my special came out, or being nominated for an Emmy.
And I feel like it did happen because.

Speaker 5 (25:25):
I was just like, I mean, I was talking about
taking away from you.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
It happened because it was Miammy. I already said I
won one months ago and it didn't happen, so they
took it. But anyway, we were saying, though, Lizzie and
I were talking about so Anissa, like, yeah, have all
the positive thoughts, like picture yourself recovering. Picture what it
looks like after you recover. Picture leaving the hospital, ringing
that fucking bell or whatever you do when you recover.
Picture all of the text coming in. Picture the post

(25:53):
you're gonna make when you're like I'm out, Like picture
all of the things, Like try to feel it through
your body of like what it feels like to be
triumph over cancer or whatever it looks like for you,
Like try to feel it. But at the same time,
if you can't do that, that's okay too. Because Lizzie
and I were talking and what were you saying.

Speaker 4 (26:11):
Yeah, Well, I feel like when people got sick. They're like, well,
you must have been critical of yourself. Like there's this
whole kind of school of spirituality and these gurus who
think that you bring this stuff on yourself.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
It's not true or like or that a lack of
doing positive thinking leads to it. So maybe not that
you were being Yeah, negativity brings on negative things. If
you scream at some water and then you say nice
things to another glass of water, the glass of water
you said nice things too, has likeapier molecules. But and yes,
there's truth to that. But if you can't do it

(26:43):
and you and something gets worse in your life, like
it's not your faults, Like there's no free will. It
was always meant to be that way. If you could,
you would. I would recommend reading Sam Harris No Free
Will if that's something that interests you. But I would
also just be nice to yourself.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
I went up every morning and I scream at my water,
and it's been not it's not been going well so far.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
But yeah, I just want to talk about that for
a second. Do people say like hello.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Water, Yeah, No, I think that they do experiments where
they're like, water, oh you look so great today. I
love you water, I love you like and then they
were they did experience they screamed in another water and
then it had like worse alkaline.

Speaker 6 (27:21):
So it's like the ooze from Ghostbusters too. That's under
New York and bad thoughts.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
Yes, the molecules restructure and become more symmetrical, right.

Speaker 5 (27:33):
Yeah, because of the podcast.

Speaker 4 (27:34):
Well there's a movie about it. What the bleep do
we know?

Speaker 2 (27:37):
Or like, oh yeah, no, that was actually that wasn't
that we know was actually referenced in a cult in
the Xium cult, the guy that.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
Made out your mouth.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
But it is amazing how well Anissa surgery went, and
how all the cancer was her body that we just got.

Speaker 5 (28:00):
It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
And then she and then and then her husband fiance
messaged me and said that it's all gone and she's
cured and.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
It never came back.

Speaker 5 (28:07):
It never came back.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Its crazy.

Speaker 5 (28:10):
It still cancer free.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Awesome.

Speaker 5 (28:12):
That's pretty cool, cool, pretty cool story.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
So just talk like that. And and that's like I've
been I've been waking up in the morning and when
I'm like, oh, I just like try it. Maybe it
lasts I'm not even joking. Sometimes it lasts for one
point five seconds. But I'm just like, oh, Nikki, good
good job today. You can get through like I just
say something nice to myself and don't I don't always
remember too, but it like really does help to be nice.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
You're thinking so much about what I've learned in Kabala
levels one through five.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Biggest take.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Into it, Well, they talk about how they talk about
reactivity and basically that no matter what happens, and this
is obviously a particularly challenging situation to be in, but
that you pause and say, what a pleasure or oh yeah,
what a pleasure? Like what a pleasure? That I need
to know this or to have this information, and that

(29:08):
experiences like this are meant to reveal light. So you
need to basically expand kind of revealed to receive more light, Okay,
And the way that you do that is by kind
of the key is to pause before you become reactive
and be like, my life is over this and and

(29:29):
obviously it's okay to have those moments and to go
you have to go through something, obviously, but that there's
light to be revealed.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, that everything Like that. Chris and I got some
not bad news, but like we wanted one thing to
go one way and it didn't, and I was like,
it's honestly, I bet we're gonna say like, thank god,
this happened this way. And then there's something that actually
we got good news about that was a result of
us getting bad news a couple of weeks ago that
I'm so glad happened. And I said it at that
time too. I was like, I promise you this will

(29:59):
lead to something good. And we just got good news
based on that bad thing happening. So it does it
does do that.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Oh my god, I gotta get off antidepressants because I'm
feeling no. Are you on the No? I am on Symbalta.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Wait, tell me what it does for you, because I
haven't been on I've only done prozac like probably ten
years ago and maybe something else. I've never really been
on antipressants.

Speaker 6 (30:26):
Every day I take it, and then whatever happens around me,
I'm just okay with Yeah, you see.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
It really okay compared to a shan I.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Knew, like I just just be panicking and like I
forgot how to swallow.

Speaker 6 (30:41):
I had so much anxiety right and then now on antidepressant,
like my mom will call me and be like your
childhood best friend just died and I'm like.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Hey, okay, wait, is that good or bad?

Speaker 6 (30:54):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (30:55):
No, I was it would be okay if he was.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Still it's good or bad to have that reaction. I mean,
I think it's just the acceptance.

Speaker 5 (31:03):
You think the alternative may be worse.

Speaker 6 (31:05):
I think you're supposed to feel yes, feal stuff and like,
because like my wife feels everything and then she's like,
what do you feel like right now?

Speaker 1 (31:15):
I'm like, I don't know, Like I want to watch
Malcolm in the Middle.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
But the alternative is just feeling constant anxiety. It might
be worse, Yes, it might be worse.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yeah, you got to pick.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
I took Symbalta for about a year and then the
same thing happened to me because my stepdad died and
I remember not feeling sad and I was like, this
is not good, and I got off of the Symbalta.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (31:39):
I have noticed that I just do not cry like
that is completely used to cry. I used to cry
so oh my god. When I lived in New York.
I would cry while running errand just because I didn't
have time outside.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
Of my cry right, yeah, okay, oh yeah, New York,
you just gotta cry.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
At the store. Yeah, I mean like everybody yea, because there's.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Nowhere to go, right, that's interesting. I don't cry a lot,
but I'm I I don't like that feeling that I
have felt before of just like indifference to everything, because
it is nice to feel things, but at the same time,
it's there's something appealing about it because I do I do.
The only thing I would worry about is that it
would like curb my drive in some way. But it
doesn't seem to have done that for you because you're

(32:23):
one of my writers, and like anytime I'm like, hey,
can I get a thing for this, it's like thousands
of jokes right away, Like you don't you still seem
to have the anxiety of like I need.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
To do a good job. Yes, that's still there.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
That's interesting. Well that's good you didn't lose that because
you could also have an indifference to that.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah. No, it's just dulled everything else.

Speaker 6 (32:40):
It's just like like one like when you were doing
the shout out, I didn't know who were on there,
and that's why I said it was hard to pronounce.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
So yeah, like I excited about that, freaking out about that,
but I'm.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Also as sincere.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Yeah, I thought you were being I am I am
I think sincere.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
No, you can say. I often say like jokes in
moments where it's like supposed to be a touching thing,
just to like see it's almost like a little like
a little like shoplifting again, like can I get away
with it? And if I do, man, it's gonna be
great to give my mom the shirt I stole. It
will be fun, like I will benefit not just my ego.

(33:21):
But yesterday I tried some joke that, oh, the guy
with the speaker on his leg right, and he's great,
and I know he has a great sense of humor
about being a non verbal person with cerebral palsy, and
and we just connected right away, like I just knew
we got each other. And I I fucked up with

(33:44):
this bluetooth.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
We're on the same.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Bluetooth, but I do have the same speaker. I was like,
how often does it dive for you? And he was
like never, And I go, well, that's not possible.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Never.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
But anyway, he was saying, oh, we were talking. Someone
was backstage being like, I can't. I was trying to
memorize my jokes. Someone's trying to talk to me, and
I was like, I really I would love to hear
that lie, but I can't because I have to. I
have to, like, I have to look at my notes.
I don't know what I'm about to stay on stage.
There's a famous person here to see me.

Speaker 5 (34:13):
And then uh so they came.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
They did, Oh my god, we're friends.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Anyway, so I'm like, I I can't. I'm I'm so sorry.
And then I see him typing, which is always great
because the way you talk to he's gonna about to
be in Ander Santina's podcast. I'm sorry, I don't remember
your last name, Aaron. It's a h R E N.
But you can find him on kill Tony and then
look him up. But he's and he's only comic kill
No that doesn't talk. Okay, So anyway, he thank you
Brian for looking up. So he's typing. Probably does he

(34:49):
have a speaker on his hip and and a one
arm that's kind of slinked up. He's a young kid. Yeah, yeah,
he's he's great. He's so funny. But he was like
he was writing and his thing, and then his speaker
was like, the great thing about me is that I
don't have to memorize any jokes. And I was like,
oh that is nice. I was like, he goes, I

(35:09):
just you know, press it or whatever, and I go,
you have it so easy. Oh my god. There's a
lot of people in the room that don't know like
our relationship. But I was just like, and he's not,
like when he laughed, you can't hear it, so like
he really couldn't go sign on it, even though I
know he liked it. But I was just like, you
have it so easy. God, I wish I were you.

(35:33):
But then I was like, wait a second, So you
have all your jokes programmed in your phone already and
you just press play. I go, do you ever like
pretend you're typing just to like give the illusion? And
he was like sometimes, And I go, you should do
it every time, because every comedian pretends they're coming up
with stuff at the same time. You should do even
though it's a more obvious paper alert, Like, yes, I

(35:56):
was trying to come up the jokes because it's such
a joke basket.

Speaker 4 (35:59):
Of there's something in there about ventriloquism. Also, like it
would be amazing if he also.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Oh, that's so funny, Like, oh.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
My God, let's get him on the horn.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
He was he was so interesting. Me and uh, Andrew
and Carlisle were at the improv and you know, like
at the improv, in the green room upstairs, there's like
a wall that comes down you have to like duck
under it.

Speaker 5 (36:22):
Yeah, super chamber.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
It's so insane. It must be some kind of like
structural thing that they couldn't do. So anyway, there's two
You go up the stairs of the for the green
room at the improv, and there's one room and then
there's another room that like is the one that you
can get to the stage from. And to get to
the other room, you have to duck under this wall
and it's probably like a three foot clearing, but you
have to duck under this three foot clearing and then
suddenly you just emerge in this room where a bunch

(36:45):
of people could be hanging out, and you your entry
is just like awkward. Yeah, and it's whenever I do it,
like you you kind of sometimes do it and then
you're like you can't like back out like a door easily, right, but.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
First basically like crawling through a laundry shoot.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
It's I've never once entered that room and felt comfortable. Yeah,
even if there are friends there, cause you're like, hey,
so awkward. But we were all sitting there, met Andrew
and Carlisle, and we just see this guy kind of
like and he like moves slower because he has Cerera
palsy and he kind of like ducks under and I
can see his arm and I'm like, oh, this guy
has something and I don't know what and he kind

(37:22):
of ducks under and then he just is standing there.
We can't see a speaker yet, so we're like kind
of just like looking at this guy. He's just like
looking at us and then like typing on his phone
and we're just like waiting. It was so like awkward.
It could have been so awkward, but it wasn't because
he's used to having these moments and so I kind
of was just feeling his energy like I'm just gonna
like wait for and he was like, Hi, I'm Eric.

(37:42):
Like it was just how are you guys tonight? And
it was just so easy, but it was. And then
we just started like ripping on things about like that
he could do jokes on which I felt almost hacky
doing because I'm like, have you thought about how like
if you tell a girl like you can never get
away with telling a girl like I didn't have my
phone on me or like you know, I'm sorry I
was away, but like she's like, well then how did
you eat? Or whatever it is? But he was really

(38:07):
nice and you should everyone should check him out and
maybe have belisel h r s.

Speaker 5 (38:16):
Maybe it's belile. I don't know how to pronounce it.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
It's it's not clear, Okay, is this weird? We were
talking for maybe two minutes and then maybe not even
that long, and I just go, what do you what's
going on with you? Like? What is what do you have?

Speaker 6 (38:28):
Like?

Speaker 2 (38:28):
I just wanted to know why he couldn't talk, like
and I could tell. Carlotte and Andrew were kind of
like what, but like, I don't think that's a crazy question.
I'm not saying like this is weird. I just want
to know, like what do you have? And he said
he said some joke. At first, I forget what it was,
hungover something, you know, like I forget what it was
and social anxiety or something.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
It was something like that.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
But then he was like cerebral palsy, and I go,
way is I go?

Speaker 6 (38:55):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Josh Blue other famous comedian with CP, and he said,
well he can talk, and I was like, it's a
really good point, and he's like butt, And then I
was like, how long are you have you been nonverbal?
I don't think that handicap people get asked those questions
as much as you would think, except from kids who
are like, what's wrong with you?

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (39:15):
And maybe I am being disrespect in that voice, but
I just feel like sometimes it just like cuts the
eye and you're just like, I just I wanted to know, like,
what's the thing that you like?

Speaker 1 (39:32):
How rare?

Speaker 7 (39:33):
Is it like that?

Speaker 2 (39:34):
That's always interesting to me when someone has a really
rare disease is not.

Speaker 5 (39:37):
Terminal, it's like a lifelong disease.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Yeah, it's I think it probably shortens your lifespan. I
can't believe it wouldn't, but it's I think. I was
like Josh Blue was someone who he was the first
person I've ever been around with CP, or maybe the
first person I've been around. No, I was, I had,
you know, uh, disabled or handicap? People with handicaps? What
do we say? Don't know? We should know that, but

(40:01):
people I don't know people I had special needs, special needs, special.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Yeah, that's like the word dwarf if people.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
In wheelchairs supposed to call little needs shorter. But I
remember being like, at first, being feeling awkward around someone
with that because I want to help out and I
feel like they're struggling, and it's like you want to
be patient, but you also don't want to help them,
and you're like you're so aware of like you're projecting

(40:33):
onto them, Like how would I feel if I was
in this And that's what suck so much, and they're
just so fucking used to it because it's all they know.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
It's their life.

Speaker 6 (40:40):
Yeah, Like I always would feel like sad at first,
and then I would be like, well, I'm just not
going to even talk about it and I'm going to
be like totally normal, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
Like and then that's not right either, because it's such
a thing that they're dealing with that you have to
like when I do a joke about like I remember
pointing someone out in a wheelchair at a party and
I was like, it's the guy in thee chair of
my friend's like that's so don't do that, and it's like,
well he knows, like that's why are we you broke
your arm?

Speaker 3 (41:07):
And your arm was in a cast. How many times
would you have to be asked what happened to your
arm before you were annoyed by it?

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I think that I don't think I'd ever get annoyed,
because I would project, I would understand that I would
probably want to know too.

Speaker 5 (41:25):
And that it's like every time you walk into your room,
it's like it back.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
I broke it, obviously, But if I have something that
is like my arm is curled up and I'm walking
with a limp and I can't talk, I would expect
people to and they wouldn't because everyone feels like it's
mean to ask if you have a disability or whatever,
or if you're differently abled. But I would get a
little annoyed with that, or if I was tall, I
would get annoyed with people telling me, well, you're told

(41:52):
you yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:56):
What if it was a large scar on your face?

Speaker 2 (41:59):
That would be rude? Would I think to ask people
unless you knew them really well, even though it shouldn't be.
I don't think if I had a mark, if I
had a large scar. Oh, this is actually a great point.
I had to I cut my face. My my dentist
cut my face accidentally, and I had to go to
event an event that night, and I talked about this
on the pod, But I had to wear a band
aid on my face at this like event that was

(42:21):
like a you know, abortion rights event that I was
going to, and there are people there to take pictures
with me, and I walk into it and I want
to well, I was just saying that, So it's like
it's about aesthetics. It wasn't about that. There was a
stand up comedy to be like, and there was no
chance for me to say, hey, I've got a band
aid on my face, you know, which I would do
if I was on stage. So what do you do,

(42:42):
Like when there's something glaring that is like happening on you,
on your person, maybe you're wearing something that's like not
right for the event. I know, Lizzie, you would go, hey,
I just want to say, I came from the gym.
I didn't know I couldn't go home in time. That's
why I'm wearing this.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
Like you and Jim, I would never sit.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
I kept being like, I've abandoned on my face. It's
my dentist cut me, and I'm just like, we don't
need to know that, and I'm like, but you do,
because otherwise you'd whisper about it later.

Speaker 5 (43:11):
Yeah, like what she do?

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Like, I just feel like it needs to be I
do think that it needs Like if I had a
big scar, and by the way, I think I really
like scars, so I wouldn't mind someone asking, but I
would I would think that's maybe rude.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Sometimes it is a little bit too much. Like if
you washed your hands in the bathroom. Remember when we
all used to back in two thousand and eight, go
I didn't.

Speaker 5 (43:35):
Piss on my hands.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
I still do that.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
I still say yes, yes, sorry, I just washed my hands.
That's why they're That's why they're what we.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Don't need to know that.

Speaker 5 (43:44):
I think that's that's that to me is just don't
shake hands then do a fist pump.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
No, okay, yeah sure, but if it's if someone goes
in for a handshake doing the fist pun it just
makes things so awkward. You're not Howie Mandel. Everyone doesn't
know your little fucking like, just do the handshake and
then if my hand's wet, I gotta say something. I
can't have them thinking I have a wet hands.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
I was nervous to meet you.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
I don't want to say this isn't my urine on
my hand. I didn't just piss all over you, and
I can just say I just wash my hands. I
don't think is I.

Speaker 4 (44:11):
Don't think anyone's over. I've never been excited to shake
someone's hand.

Speaker 5 (44:15):
No, no elbow. I love when the elbow got introduced.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
No, I don't wait, I haven't really, Yeah, I don't
mind it. I like I forget to wash my hands
after meet and greet. It's like I don't have a
germ thing though almost to it false.

Speaker 5 (44:27):
Nikki doesn't believes, doesn't believe in the power of dreams.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
I don't but petting a dog. If I even so
much as touch a dog with a finger, I can
feel it all day and I need to instantly go
wash it before anything. I can feel the dander. I
know that's different.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
I hate, I hate like I love my dog, but
like I also hate when he gets near me. I
don't think they are playing. At most, they're disgusting.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
I mean, we gotta go to break. We'll be back
with more for the handshake thing. I've Yeah, I don't
mind it, and I gotta be more mindful of that.
People don't want to do it, dude, what about hugging?

Speaker 4 (45:08):
I might prefer a hug actually, because then at least
I can turn my face away, which I do.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Yes, here's a thing that I know.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
I really don't like contact. I'm like, but then I
can turn my face home.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
No, because I understand, like you have reason to not
want germs. Yeah, I'll look it over you, like, I
mean we all do. But like it's it makes sense.
But I was thinking of this the other night and Lizzie,
maybe this is something that we can describe for men
and maybe Noah, you understand it too. I mean, I
definitely think women do. There are certain men that you
I don't even know that I realize I do this,

(45:41):
but I categorize them as when we meet or see
each other, I have to hug them and get a
kiss on the cheek because they're a cheek kisser. Like
I will mark those men and I will know that
like they need an extra embrace. And there are men
that I actually really love, like I could list them
out and I won't now, but I'm gonna send your
name to you and you tell me if it makes

(46:01):
you go, I'm gonna have to embrace that person.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Longer.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Okay, Okay, do you know him?

Speaker 4 (46:10):
Yes, I know who that is.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
Do you know that the embrace is gonna have to
be extra long? He's gonna make it longer. He's gonna
he will, yes, and to give him what he needs.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
Yeah, And.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
He's just a loving god like I just I do
feel like I saw him the other night and I
didn't get to hug him, but I saw him on
stage and I was like, Oh, I'm gonna have hug
him later. Oh. He's one of those guys that it's
like I have to like almost brace myself for like
a longer embrace. And I don't mind it because I
actually feel like he's like a teddy bear and it's
not sexual. But there are some that I just do
you know what? Do you know what I'm talking about? Like,
there are some men that you know are gonna give

(46:41):
you a kiss on the cheek and forever.

Speaker 7 (46:44):
A little like a hug, and then they press an
even harder yes, And I love that cheek on the
the kiss on the cheek.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Do you know men who do that?

Speaker 4 (46:52):
And you're the fact that you were watching someone thinking
I'm gonna have to hug him later is so funny.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
I was like, I'm kind of I need almost think
because I really do love this man and I and
he's never creeped me out. There. Certainly there are men
that creep you up, but I'm talking about cheek kissers
that I have, Like they just do it to every
girl and it's just like we all know about it.

Speaker 7 (47:15):
I've had someone, like more of an acquaintance in the
past who I would see frequently, and because he was
shorter than me, he would hug me and the kiss
would land on my neck and it really creeped me out.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
There's nothing European. I mean, there is so much.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
Oh my god, cheek kissing in Europe is insane, Like
we're talking about germs that is for everyone you meet,
and sometimes they do three Oh my god. It's like
when you yeah, but you don't actually.

Speaker 5 (47:44):
Kiss the cheek, you just kissed next to the cheek.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Oh you kind of just like caring. Okay, I like that,
but even that makes me so nervous to get it
wrong and go to the wrong side. And then you
threaten like almost kissing them because it's so.

Speaker 5 (47:58):
I don't even like saying hello, Like what is all
this performative bullship.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I'm a hello, I'm a hello.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
Man.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
I wish we bowed.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
I hate being touched.

Speaker 6 (48:12):
So much to do that.

Speaker 5 (48:16):
Jah, my god.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
I was watching a Korean soap opera the other day
called maz what is it called. It's called Tokyo Maison
Tokyo or something. It's on Netflix, but it was playing
in the nail salon and I.

Speaker 5 (48:28):
Was like, oh, I can't believe I've watched this house.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
So it was like it was about a like two
restaurants that are in competition with each other. I was
sucked into this thing. These actors were so amazing, but
they there's one scene where the girl had like lied
about something and she had to confess that she lied
to like everyone that she was, all the chefs around her,
and she just was like and I'm sorry, and she
she like bowed like this and I'm sorry. She says

(48:54):
about three one two three and then slowly rose back up.

Speaker 5 (48:58):
And I well, I contact and I loved it.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
It was a way to say sorry and like, really,
I don't know, it's more it's more extra than sorry,
like it actually made it mean something.

Speaker 4 (49:10):
But I wish they had panned down and there had
been a scallop. A single.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
Was picking up. It was like, yeah, Bobby for apple and.

Speaker 4 (49:18):
Then comes up and she's like, dinner serves.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
I just I would love a bow if we could
become a bow man.

Speaker 5 (49:25):
Why is it racist for us whites to do the back?
Can't know it kind of but you did?

Speaker 6 (49:33):
Fine?

Speaker 4 (49:33):
Yeah, but.

Speaker 6 (49:36):
I do feel like the moment I start bowing, I'm
also going to be like, you know, I do want
to wear kimoda.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
That I keep going further, I have a ponytail.

Speaker 4 (49:49):
Is there something about it? Religiously like a Judeo Christian, like,
we don't worship false idols, therefore we won't bow.

Speaker 6 (49:56):
I mean probably nobody in this country is kind of
fucked up because of religion, and.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
We are all like so proud too. I think that
apologizing is such a difficult thing for Americans. Your elders
and yeah, we just don't respect elders like they do.
I I used to have a joke that I lived
with my parents until I was twenty five, which is
embarrassing unless you're Asian. And people used to go, oh,
and I'm like no, because in their country, you stay
with your family forever because you know that laughing it

(50:24):
just they were all bowing to me.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
Did you watch the Live to one hundred documentary.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
That guy that has like a scratchy voice, so yes,
his voice.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
You think it was hosted by RFK.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
I do like that guy though a lot. And yeah,
he found Yeah, but.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
Wasn't there like a city in Japan where they were
living so long and it's because they didn't have chairs
and there and they're squatting all the time and they're
they're constantly going just from sitting to standing, Yeah, and
using like their their core or there, yeah, certain muscles.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Why did we not know about course core strength until
like maybe ten years ago, Like there was no mention of.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
Yeah, I was no one, no one there is falling
in the shower and breaking it.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
They squat there's waiting for the bus. It's frequently people
will just squat down. They won't sit anywhere. And then
the toilets, right, the toilets too, squat on.

Speaker 4 (51:23):
There's just like a whole yeah doing that one.

Speaker 5 (51:26):
Yeah, do you sit on the toilet or the whole
He got rid of my toilet?

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Do you guys when you're have to go number two
in a public restroom and then us for number one
or two do you do you hover over?

Speaker 4 (51:41):
Depends on the condition. I eye it first, and then
if there's a sprinkle.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Of pea, I will just wipe it off.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
I wipe it off, and like, if I'm feeling really
I'll give it a little.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Sun it off. No I.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
Do number two in public?

Speaker 5 (52:02):
Yeah it's inane, but.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Is it like your body won't even allow it.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
It doesn't come shuts down.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
So you've never had to go number two in public?
And then you can't. It's just like your body won't
even yes, it won't even suggest I have.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
I have.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Literally my doctor even said this the shyest asshole.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
That would be an amazing reality show.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Jenny Slate would voice cartoon. Yeah, that's that's how At
Taylor Swift, I never have to go pee, even though
I've drank so much water. Like my body is just like, no,
that's not what we're doing now, and then it will
or you know, when I go on stage. My feet
don't hurt when I'm in choose. When I'm on stage,
in the second I stop off, they'll start hurting. You
just like your body can figure.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Out what to do. You're in your fight mode right now.

Speaker 4 (52:47):
Yeah, it's like when you're sick like a soul.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Yeah, I totally am. You're so right.

Speaker 4 (52:54):
I do.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
I very rarely pooh in public, but if I do,
I do a little toilet paper covering.

Speaker 5 (53:02):
Oh you did, I do the little the.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Five It's a ritual.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Oh god, I just it's too much.

Speaker 5 (53:06):
Just put them all down.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
I'm too horrified.

Speaker 6 (53:09):
And it does nothing but like going into a bathroom
and then like if like at work, like I can
never do it because if somebody ever like smelled my shit, I.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Would be really I'd be like, because I've smelled people' shit.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Sucks like this person, Like I can do a twenty
three one meter on you, right, like all the data
I've collected. Oh, it's it's bad. You're right, But I've
never thought about that. I guess I just don't care. Yeah,
and my and I just do a curzy flush. As
soon as it's coming out, I start flushing, you know.
So it's just it doesn't have any chance to like
meet the air.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Oh that's fine. So you're like a train conductor.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
But sometimes it does not go down right. And it's
one bathroom at a Starbucks that other people are lined
up outside, and what do you do then I mean
that's why you wrap your hand and take paper to
and you get in and you pull it out, you
put it in the trash. Ben, Yeah, you gotta do it. No,
I don't want people to see in my poom.

Speaker 4 (54:07):
You've stuck your hand in a Starbucks toilet.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Yeah, but with like with my hand wrapped in toilet
paper like like a mummy and yeah, And I just
don't want people. I mean, I've talked about this on
the show before. It was it was an instant. You
can look it up on YouTube. It's called shitten's because
we make mittens out of it's called shit and people
were disgusted by it, but I can't it was. It
all stemmed from being at a comedy show and there

(54:30):
was like a line of men and women trying to
get in one bathroom. And I went and it was
it wouldn't go down. And you did not have everyone
on that show. It was at comics, not comics.

Speaker 6 (54:41):
It was on a.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Cabin to.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
I honestly, I'm impressed with the confidence.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Of a cabin My body doesn't shut down like that.

Speaker 6 (54:54):
It like was.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
It was insane. It was one bathroom and and so
there's a long line of people, and you just I
just couldn't bear having someone think that I did that.
So I just ship int it and you you put
it in the trash and then you put a bunch
of toilet paper on top and stuff so that doesn't
smell in the trash. I mean, it's just already a
smelly bar. People do cocaine, but you wash your hands

(55:18):
like a doctor afterwards. Like, I know it's disgusting, but
like if I use antibacterial soap a crazy amount on
every part of my arm that could have ever touched anything,
how gross?

Speaker 5 (55:27):
Is it pretty gross? I mean, I guess you're covering
up the evidence.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
I don't see the difference between like leaving in the
toilet and then putting it in the trash.

Speaker 5 (55:35):
It still is like po.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Final thought emerging your hand is that things can go
into through your cuticlied skin hand.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
But that's why I scrub like under my fucking fingers.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Like really going yeah, like.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
There, yeah, And also that this was what fifteen years ago,
by the way, this is fifteen years ago.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
Yeah, But I would do it today.

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Interesting, I would do it today.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (56:02):
It's not like I would like you'd have more confidence
that you wouldn't need to do it.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
I wouldn't want anyone, Like Sean said, it's not about
the smell. I just don't want someone seeing my ship,
like honestly and seeing my asshole.

Speaker 5 (56:13):
Like I brot them, like, go look inside, pull my.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Ash support and bend over in front of them, then
see my ship, Like, yeah, it is the most.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Private thing we have.

Speaker 5 (56:24):
What about just covering up the ship and the toilet
with the ship instead of that, they have to go.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
It's like out of respect for them to like, now
they have to deal.

Speaker 5 (56:32):
You're making layers, you know, like a cemetery when it's
too full.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
And I understand, when there's already a cemetery going on,
I'll just put on top of the center bodies. But
if it's the first, if I'm the first body to
be buried, I gotta get rid of them.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
I say, I'm close.

Speaker 6 (56:44):
I've ever come to like actually, just like moving away
out of la and leaving is work. And I had
a Google search asking why is my ship pencil shape?

Speaker 2 (56:55):
And I saw, dude, it's so funny.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
My God, by the way, a shy asshole would make
a pencil.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Number two number two.

Speaker 5 (57:17):
Wow, that's almost too perfect.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
God, And you know what the beauty of this is
is that you were gonna leave town because someone saw
you google that, but then you just told us that.
Why is that that things right after the moment are
like horrifying, the worst thing I could ever have to
you cut to five years down the road saying them
for everyone to hear. Anyone could hear that you're truly yours.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Your most humiliating moments becomes so funny.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
To make it like it's a lesson for anyone out
there who like, has embarrassing moments happened to you, Like
the thing that you is going to make you leave
the job that you're working out because the like just
use it later for a good story and a dinner.
Like it freezes us all because we all have these things,
and like, just think about how funny it will be
some day later on. And I hope to God that
it's funny for you. I hope you in your life

(58:05):
that you could share those things with that it will
be funny and if not, just d m them to
us because.

Speaker 5 (58:09):
We like this stuff.

Speaker 4 (58:10):
I wish we'd still had Clippy because then Clippy could
have like what if I have Clippy's shape like Clippy?

Speaker 3 (58:21):
But you should get a in all seriousness, you should
get a colonoscopy. Pencil shape benef indicate polyps, which which
was my great word.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
I got checked out at the time horrifically addicted to you.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
And it was back to school.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Season, you know.

Speaker 4 (58:45):
I got a klioscopy like a few months ago, and
as I'm going under, someone was like, oh, do you
do comedy? And I go yeah, and the like, I'm
I'm nude, you know, gown opened in the back on
my side, and he goes anything I can find online
and I go, no, no, I just go now like

(59:05):
I want you looking up clips of me while you're
my ass is being.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Like, well, I had a similar thing I think I
talked about in the podcast, but I'm trying to figure
out how to sit talk about on stage. I was
getting a spray tant fully naked, Like I didn't wear
the right underwear to have the spraytant on top of
the underwear, so I had to just go nude. And
the girl is just like, I didn't think she knew
who I was. I didn't even think she would know.
I wasn't even thinking in that way. And she was like,

(59:30):
I just want to say you killed her on the rows.
My boyfriend is such a huge man, And I was like, oh,
that's so nice. And I'm standing there just like spread eagle,
and I'm like, she's definitely gonna tell her boyfriend about
my vagina. Yeah, there's no way. We haven't exchanged. And
there's how do you say? I met Nikki Glazer at work?
And there's no there's nothing else that happened between us
except you painted my vagina and that there's you paint.

Speaker 5 (59:51):
That's totally normal for her. She's spray tanning people all
day line everybody.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
How do you not go home and say, hey, this
famous person that was my client today? And how is
the next question not what was it like nake? What
did you look like naked?

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
It has to be because they don't have hip hop.
There's no hip hop.

Speaker 4 (01:00:09):
Oh my god, there should be son the Brentwood Pavilion. Honestly,
I wish there was hip hop for every conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Yeah, yeah, that would give you some security. I guess.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
I like, don't tell anybody this, yes, and then but
I feel like that's not fair of me to do.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
In a way, because you give the option to people like, hey,
if I tell you this, are you cool with not
telling anyone because sometimes one time someone was like, you
can't tell anyone, and I was just at a point
in my life where I was like, I know it's
about to come out as too juicy, and I just don't.
I'd rather do not tell me because I can't be trusted. Yeah, okay,
I kind of like read myself. I think people can
opt out of it. I think that's there is a

(01:00:48):
way if you just go you can't tell anyone, blah
blah blah, but like give them a chance.

Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
Well I'll say it here and now then I created Hippa.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
All right, I gotta go. Thank you guys so much
for being here. This was so fun, Lizzie Cooperman. Everyone,
do you have a podcast?

Speaker 4 (01:01:05):
No, I can't believe it. I don't have my podcast
right now.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
But it was so it's still up. I'm guessing it
was so fun.

Speaker 4 (01:01:11):
It is Lizzie Cooperman's in your hands. I crowdsourced my
life for a year.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
She would pose like a question to her listeners every week,
like should I do this or this? And then they
would vote and she would have to do it. And
it ended up you worked at Victoria.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Ended up working at Victoria's Secret. Yeah. As and when
I left Victoria's Secret, I'm proud to say I was
Associate of the month. Oh yes, I went and my
name was Elizabeth and that I was a ghost writer.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
I love that you can just and then cool.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
But I think they were kind of onto mecause they
were like, the might you work here one day?

Speaker 6 (01:01:47):
I go.

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
During the pandemic, people had time to write their own books.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Wow, I need to pick up.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
I bought a bra from vitin a secret the other
day and it was fifty four dollars for like a
bay sick one that you can get to target for
like twenty and I was like, this is I just
grabbed it. Let's just do this. When the associate was
very nice as you all are trained to be, and
fifty four dollars, I almost was like, no, what that's crazy?

Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
Yeah, thanks too much.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
It was. It wasn't like a nice one. It was
just they're basic.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
We need to start voting with our wallets on this
inflation stuff. Corporations are artificially inflating prices and blaming.

Speaker 5 (01:02:23):
It on inflation. Oh, just stolid buying ten dollars hamburgers.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Okay, I can't Sean O'Connor, thank you for being here,
you for having me. Wait, do you guys want to
plug anything? Do you have anything to plug? I just
pugged an old podcast of yours.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
Lizzie Coooperman dot com. I've got all my shows listed there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
She's so funny, you guys check her out. Cue one
of the best ever Sean.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
O'Connor, October seventh, on Hulu. Check out The Solar Opposites
Halloween special written by me. Oh my, wait, what it's
gonna be fun?

Speaker 6 (01:02:54):
What is it? It's the show I work on, and
it's it's about aliens. But this is a stars Thomas
middle Ditch and oh yeah, Steven, is.

Speaker 4 (01:03:03):
That Mary mack On? That ry so funny? You love
Mary mac?

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Yeah, no, it's really great. We have a Halloween specialist
part two of last year.

Speaker 5 (01:03:10):
Yeah, it wasn't last year.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
What was it called.

Speaker 5 (01:03:13):
It's like Mister Weebles something or other.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Yeah, I don't know the name of it.

Speaker 6 (01:03:17):
Seven, yes, and it's called The Hunt for Brown October.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
That's awesome. And then Brian check him out in the
New York Times.

Speaker 5 (01:03:27):
That's right, and.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
Possibly something else coming down though.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
I was in Food fifty two Today, which is a
big popular Instagram at a yeah, Apple related.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Apple Rankings dot Com.

Speaker 5 (01:03:39):
Check it out.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
He's the new Steve Jobs right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
All right, I've actually got some tour dates coming up
that I can plug real quick. Noah, uh do you
know what they are? Yes? I did?

Speaker 7 (01:03:52):
California right uh so, yep, September twentieth is the next date,
which you'll be in Lincoln, California.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
That's right, Valley Casino Resort in Lincoln, California. And then
on the twenty first, which is a Saturday, I will
be witch John O'Connor on both of these, right, I
will be in Modesto Lazy Peers. Well, I do a
joke about Scott Piers.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
I don't think you killed that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
Oh God, Modesto Gallop Center for the Arts. So next
week California twentieth and twenty first, and then I'm in
Vegas with David Spade the following weekend, the twenty seventh
and twenty eighth of the Venetian, and then a bunch
more tour dates coming up Windsor, Ontario, and then yeah,
look for me on just pay attention to my socials.

(01:04:36):
Something fun coming up and I can't wait for you
to see it all right. Thank you, Dobika.

Speaker 6 (01:04:41):
Bye.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by
Me Nicki Glaser, co hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced
by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonni and Noah Avior edited it
engineered by Lean and Loaf. Video production Mark Canton and Me.
Music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes

(01:05:03):
of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nikki
Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel