#483 Erasing Memories, First Attractions & Can The Opposite Sex Be Friends?

Nikki and Brian have those moments they wish they could “Eternal Sunshine” away and others they want to remember forever. After binging on comments, Brian’s over it and vows to stop. He asks Nikki about picking up a new habit to help with his anxiety. There’s definitely an art to secretly recording for the sake of art instead of just for content. Brian remembers a time he wishes he’d caught on tape when Nikki totally crushed it at a game of Catchphrase. Nikki is all about that butterfly feeling at the start of a new relationship; nothing beats the realization that you’re with the right person. She’s got a point about making friends with the opposite sex while in a relationship. And in the Final Thought, Brian shares the details of his experience seeing Billy Joel.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Gliser Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Glaser.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the podcast.
It's Nicky Glaser Podcast. Second episode of the week. That's
how we do it. We're gonna be honest with you.
If you listened to yesterday's episode, it was just a
couple of hours for us.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I always, I always am honest when it comes up.
I never try to fake it like we're doing it
like the next day. This is the same day, but
it's just a different flavor. And honestly, we just got
we just got warmed up earlier.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, the last one is skip that one. Just go
straight to this one because this is yeah on fire.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
If you can go do like an eternal sunshine yourself
to forget it that if you already heard it, God forbid. Yeah,
this is the one to listen to because this is
one's gonna have a lot of meat to it.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Would you do that eternal sunshine yourself reason?

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Oh yeah, there's been times. One time that comes to
mind because I just got done talking about this in
therapy and then before that in an interview, because I
just talk about things.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Like therapy, it's the same thing.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
I have no boundaries with anyone.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Imagine is being much different than this podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Who did I just talk to that said the same thing,
and they said, whenever I go to therapy, they're always like,
who the fuck was it. That's so upsetting because it
was the first time I've ever heard someone else say that,
because I've been to therapists before and they'll be like, Nikki,
I just want to say thank you for revealing that
to me, and like this is a safe space. I
just want to remind you, and I go, oh, I
literally just said it an hour ago, like I, I

(01:39):
workshopped it before I got to you, and to thousands
of people at least, you know who knows, because but
they're always like, really, there isn't much difference. Yeah, it was,
it's a little more more detailed. In fact, I left
the cameras going for the first episode, like I forgot

(01:59):
to on record. I think it's also known to stop,
and I left it on for an interview and then
for the therapy that followed the interview, which I needed
a lot of therapy after the interview because the interview
I like said a lot that I was and it's
a very high profile piece and it was so great. Well,

(02:20):
I was being interviewed by a celebrity, and I will
play the guessing game with your thing, but it already
failed for the celebrity, or already failed this person, and
so I know it won't reveal him or her, And so.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
I just want to clarify the acrenator is not my thing.
I didn't make it. I did not stand by it
after it failed twice on this podcast. I fully retract
the enforcement.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
You talked such a big game for it.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
There's been some time blow my mind. I'm sure two
times it's blown my mind and reversed put my mind back.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
To But but so it was. I was talking in
the interview about a moment that I wanted to eternal Sunshine,
which is like when I read something about myself on
Reddit that I like, had only ever thought about myself
and never had anyone even slightly say to me to

(03:12):
my face, or had ever read in a comment. It
was just like a thing I'd noticed about myself that
I'm mostly insecure about. I won't even I won't even
hint at what it is because I don't want anyone
ever use it against me. But I when I read
that comment, I almost was like hyperventilating like I couldn't.
The feeling that was going on in my body was
so uncomfortable. It felt like I was burning alive, like
and I and you and I just all I wanted

(03:34):
to do was go back to a time where I
didn't see that comment. And then I eventually got over
a couple of years later. But that was a joke,
but it really took me a while. It took me
like months to unsee that what about you?

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Well, I didn't take it as a joke, because I
would it would take me a couple of years sometimes
to get over some things like that. I've recently learned
like I need to chill with trying to find feedback
on the internet, Like I need to chill.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's there's it's drinking, it's
it is smoking weed, it's doing hero and it's it's
shopping addiction. It's guys, it's an addiction. If you're someone
who has comments about you out there on the internet
and you read them, there's no good in it. You
can keep convincing yourself you're looking for feedback. You can
keep you can keep justifying it like a drink. But

(04:23):
it's my birthday, it's Saint Patrick's a It's never gonna go.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Well, it doesn't. I I went nuts when Tim dillan
this is Your Country came out. And I've read every
single told us comment, every single tweet. I've read every
single thing that was written by any Even if it
was a bot, I've probably read it right, and I
drove me insane.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
I think I won't apologize for some of that stuff
I wrote because I wasn't a bad place. I was
jealous that night and I didn't I'm glad you didn't
trace my name.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
No.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I I can only imagine, but imagine how Tim feels.
Can I just I'm sorry to take away from the
you and your piece. Sometimes I read things about my
fellow comedians and I go, good Lord, I hope they
don't see this. And I'm not talking just about Tim Dillon,
even though his fans are not nice. No, because I

(05:15):
believe me. I joined the Tim Dillon subreddit because I
am a fan. Didn't know that it was all people
who love him so much that they hate him.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, well that's a common that's very common.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
I mean I saw it with Howard Stern too, same
same same thing happened in his subreddit. It's a toxic place,
and I does Tim read comments. I don't know if
he does or not.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
I don't think he does.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
If he's alive and hasn't off himself.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
He yeah, he releases. He releases the podcast every single week,
plus a Patreon episode every single week where he says
some things that a lot of people would be upset by.
So if he's reading his comment by now, I think
he's sworn off reading the comments, because it's just like,
what's the point You're gonna piss off so many people
every week?

Speaker 1 (05:57):
There's no I mean, yeah, you're right, the people he
pisses off, he would probably enjoy that because he knows
what he's doing. Sure in that regard, But I'm talking
about people that attack your character, or not even your character.
You're you know, just are just brutally cruel in ways
that you would only hear it like a roast where
you have been paid a million dollars to be there

(06:19):
and you've agreed to it, like you, no one should
ever read these things about themselves, even at a roast.
I argue, you shouldn't have to hear the stuff about yourself.
It's so painful.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
But yeah, I think I honestly don't think he reads
any of them.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think I don't think he would either.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Because I can't even really imagine him sitting there reading it.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
No, and you know what, because he's he doesn't because
he's evolved. Yeah, I think Tim Dillan is you know,
is because he's smart, and he also it would stand
in his way and he's a successful person. Yeah, he's
you know, like it it is a hindrance to you.
That's why he doesn't do drugs anymore. That's why he

(06:57):
doesn't drink. I would guess it's the same reason why
he doesn't read. He's learned that there is no good
in there. There's nothing good.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
I didn't learn from that yet. I have not learned
that lesson. Fully, it's not ingrained.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
In me either, did the person I just interviewed. And
I got like, I interviewed with this this girl interviewed me,
and we're talking about comments, and she said, young, wait, channel,
you're just surreptitiously start inserting acnaer questions, trying.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
To get out of it again, giving it a second chance.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
But no, I I I because she was like, you know,
sometimes I read the comments and I go no, no, no, no, no,
it's not a sometimes, it's a never because she's someone
who also has dealt with like addiction, and I'm like,
if it's it's like drinking, you don't get to even
do a sip, you know, Like, this isn't about like
one beer. You can have one beer and by the way,
it will it's it's it's never gonna be enough, and

(07:50):
it's it's just a I literally was like I almost
got uh. It went from being like a fun conversation
to me being like, you don't understand. This isn't a joke,
Like you have to stop. And I really believe that.
I think this is my new fucking pedestal is to stop.
If you feel that social media is harm harming you,

(08:10):
you gotta put it down. You gotta uninstall Instagram from
your phone. Not forever, I'm not saying, but I think
if your celebrity comments, you really have to say goodbye
to it forever.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
I think if you're if you're a celebrity of a
certain stature, someone else should be just handling your social
media and you shouldn't even be thinking about it.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
I mean, I told Emily to just tell me gen ZM.
My new thing is like I saw she told me like, oh,
someone came up in conversation. She goes, she comments on
yourself all the time, and I go, Okay. The next
time she has a post that you think I would
have something nice to say, send it to me and
then I'll comment, so like eat because that's the thing
I miss out on is like I like to see
nice things and then right back to their stuff, and

(08:49):
I want to be interactive and right back to their comment.
So what why That's because like being nice?

Speaker 2 (08:57):
The question is why has social media not invented a
filter for that positive.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Filter that you can put certain words in? And I
put one time, I like screen recorded it when the
feature first came out, and I made a joke about it,
and I just put like cunt not funny, sure horse face,
and then I put what did I do? I did
a really funny one that was like a misspell uh

(09:27):
your or it was like you're not funny and it
was yo, you are. So it only was kidding people
that would spell it wrong out, which I thought was
like a nice way of saying like I don't care
about your opinion if you're dumb, but if you say
you are with a poster be uh, we're a game,
but yeah, you could put certain filters for words, but
that just you know.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
But I want to be like an AI, a positive
use of AI that says that will read all the
comments and delete anything that's negative, so that you're only
seeing positive feed. But I mean, I guess if you're
gonna read the comments at all, then it's not beneficial
to you. But it wouldn't it be nice if it
just served you the nice stuff?

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah, I would love to know about fire emojis or
you know, j Loo's been liking my stuff and I
find out later from Emily. But yeah, but it might
be nice to get a little Lord on my phone
for that, or be able to like enjoy that in
the moment and not go, oh that's cool two weeks
ago that happened, Oh that's cool, Like because I don't.
I just can't. But I can't do it. It's just, you know,

(10:22):
it's I could have. I probably could have a glass
of wine and have a really fun night, but I
don't want to risk it.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
No, you can't.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
It's not worth it.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, it's not worth it. Really thinking about getting back
into weed a little bit you were into weed. Well,
when I was in high school, I smoked weed every day.
Like the song said, oh well.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
It was instructional. Yeah, it was okay, and it was
a different weed was different back then.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah. I mean my big fear with weed is that,
you know, when I've smoked it every day, it made
me kind of slow and dumb because I'm smoking too much, right,
But I do. I do kind of feel like I
could use something that make me chill, like I need
to calm down.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
I would never recommend weed to anyone, except for any reason.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
You did.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
You gotta wait for the joke. Except you, right now.
I'm serious you. Your brain is so good, Brian, and
I'm I value your brain. Your brain literally helps my
career immensely with all the things we work on. So
I would never recommend something that I ever think would
addle your brain in any way. Weed a little bit
here and there, I think would be very medicinal for you.

(11:36):
And that as me saying that as someone who's not
a medical professional in any way, and it could really
ruin things. But I think I don't think you are
someone that is an addict and would use it in
that way.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
Again, your career is too important to you. I'm thinking
right now smoking it or eating.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
Well, I think I would be interested in taking like
a weed, mint or something like that.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Uh okay, so that is right now. Wait a minute,
Hold on a second. Well, this is not a debate
a single You could do it, but just be careful
not to eat too much because then whatever you're anxious
about or you know, like in your head about or
just get amplified.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
That has been my experience. That's why I'm saying you
should smoke it, because edibles make me think too much.
But smoking it's like immediate like release for me, at
least of tension.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah. I think that's what I need because I'm so
anxious all the time and I have abate. You know.
I was reading I'm actually gonna do a I'm gonna
do a big al about vapean It's my next big vape.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
Weed every day. Yeah, I really think you should.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
But yeah, not every day, but like you know, it's
just a couple of times a day. I was thinking of.
I was reading articles about you know, like you micro
dos shrooms, and that became very popular for a while.
Mm hmmm, Well, there have been some studies about micro
dosing weed and doing like a very very small amount
of weed just to kind of like.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
I know people that do it and how I feel.
So I gave some people very close to my life
some of my vapes that I just like lose vapes
all the time, and then I find them and I'm so,
I just have like a ton of these weed vapes
with like a ton of juice in them because I
don't need much to feel good, and I gave them.
I said, you just need like not even a full hit.

(13:23):
Do not even just keep it in your mouth, just
absorb it through your gums, like not even involve your lungs,
like just one because it's so fucking strong now, and
especially if you haven't spoked weed for twenty years or whatever,
or however long it's been, you're younger than me fifteen years.
Just half a hit of a vape pen I'm not kidding,
or a vape, a little disposable vape will make you

(13:45):
feel immense relief and it will not turn into a
toxic habit that I think. I just know you. I
just don't predict that it would.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, I don't think so either. I'm very interested in
doing I think I think it actually will be helpful
to me and it won't make me too d because
it really did make me stupid. I have my SAT
scores like track to when I stopped smoking weed. Whoa,
it went down and then I stopped and it went up.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
No, I definitely I've during COVID I was smoking weed
every day and pretty much twenty eighteen, I smoked weed
a lot until September and I had to do Dancing
with the Stars and then I like could not. I
couldn't learn dancing and smoke weed. But I've gone through
many years of my life doing it every day. And
it does make you dumber the more you Yeah, but

(14:32):
then you're moderation a little hit.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
Come on now, well you know it'll make you dumb.
Is having a low key stress and anxiety that just
keeps ratcheting up forever.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Dude. It's yeah, having just that that relief of that
like it for me, and then I don't think this
is for everyone, but for me, weed will just like
take me out of this moment of panic I have
and just make me instantly like okay, everything's fine, Like
and I know that people. Weed is a highly addictive substance.
It ruins lives people could easily get not easily, but

(15:05):
people do get very addicted to weed. And it's it's disassociative.
It's not something you should do all day every day.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
It doesn't solve your problems.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Either, it doesn't, but it if you you know what, like,
it's just a little I think, And I don't want
I'm I I'm endorsing this a little too much. But
I for you, Brian, I just knowing your character and
how you handle things. And even with sports betting, remember
when you were betting on sports in the second you
were like, this is making my life bad. You you

(15:34):
stopped or like at.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Least took a break. I took a break.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
Okay, So you you know how to manage this stuff.
It's not unmanageable. You're not like an unmanageable addict. And
I think that there's the people that I've given these
vapes too. I didn't finish my story because I vape weed.
But they have told me that it has been helpful,
just a little and the and they they're not craving
at the rest of the day, and it just makes
things a little easier. And I will say every dad

(16:00):
I know just like eats edibles, and plays with their kids,
and like that's what makes them like be able to
do that. It makes sense every night they get home
from work and it's like a treat, and then they're
like interested in legos suddenly.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
No, I mean that sounds amazing, doesn't it. That's the
only thing. That's the only time I've ever heard like, Oh,
I guess I could be a dad is hearing that story.
I felt the same way.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
I'm like, so, yeah, I'll be interested to hear that
our dads are doing. I mean, my dad, I think
was just drinking and smoking. But my dad never like
got wasted ever. I've never seen him like truly fucked up.
Maybe a little bit, but never like to the point
where I'm like, you're embarrassing. But weed wise, Oh, my

(16:42):
parents on weed, which they'll be so mad that I'm
even talking about this. Sorry, Mom and dad, you've smoked
weed before. I know it, we all know it. And
they call it getting off. Oh they say I got
off on that? Whoa disgusting? Is that a boomer thing
or is that just like a seventies term for like
nineteen seventy three Cincinnati, that's what they were saying.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
I guess I got off on weed.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
How'd you get off on that?

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (17:05):
I got off on that hit? Like it they that's
what that's what getting high is.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
To them In New York. They would say, I I
gizzed all over myself on that.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, that's that was our cool nomenclature, and we all
know what it meant. But when my dad gets stoned,
he gets sentimental, and it's really irritating when you're not
in the mood to like cry about a family video
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
He does.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
And then my mom, when she gets uh, gets off,
she starts filming. She turns into gen z m and like, like,
is mak wants just to make film me NonStop? I'll
be like because my dad. So then my dad's sentimental
and he's crying about something or like remembering a memory
of fucked up memory of his childhood. And then my

(17:49):
mom is sitting there filming and it's just the weirdest
and I go, Mom, stop, and we're like, why do
you always film when you get high? Like it's so funny.
She turns into like the uh, you know remember that
show that that never mind, it doesn't matter what I was,
but anyway, she yeah, she turns into James Cameron. I'm

(18:09):
gonna choose films.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
She films you, and then she and then she shows
up to your dad and she's and then your dad
starts crying about the moment that happened five seconds.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yeah, and then it just cycles like that. But if
I go through my mom's camera sometimes I do. I
just see hours of footage.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
She's just filming, secret filming.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Blurry, like her lenses smeared. Because I know they had
a good time, and they took a little edible and
they got off on and they had some fun. They
were watching Bill Maher and then they played music, and
then they filmed each other crying.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
You're you're a fan of this. I mean you've you've
done you know. Rob Stern my friend love Ron, So
he frequently if we're just hanging out or something, he'll
frequently secretly film the hangout just so that we can
get like a natural like here's how we went the
memory of it without us all acting fake. I love

(19:01):
that because a couple of times I.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
Would kill well, I'm trying to make content. I'm not
trying to make memories. No, I told that to uh,
you know, I would kill for recordings of me and
my friends from back of the day or even now.
It's interesting that I can't really contextualize it now and
say I want to look back on this time with
my friends and record a candid moment. But my friend

(19:26):
the other day was talking about how her daughter just
constantly talks. She's like four years old, and she said,
so I was talking to herself and I'm gonna do this,
and then the Prince is going to come over here. Then, like,
no matter what she's doing, she's playing, she's like monologizing
all the time. And I said, just take your phone,
hit record, and just leave it next to her, and
she will cherish that audio someday when she is an adult.

(19:46):
So much to hear your baby voice just like going free,
like just free associating for an hour while you're playing kitchen.
It would be so cute to hear. And she's like,
I gotta remember to do that. But moms are so busy.
They're like, I'm not trying to like make a future
podcast right now, so I think I'm just trying to survive.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
That also feels like does that also feels like the
start of a horror movie where you go back and
you listen to it and then all of a sudden
you hear like whispers in the background like a demon.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Oh my god, you're like, that's good, you're imaginary friend
who's really evil? Wait? When have I done that? When
if I secrets?

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Did at the sphere when I was dancing to you
two exactly? That was for content. Don't do it?

Speaker 1 (20:31):
What's fun? We had at the speed you know where?

Speaker 2 (20:33):
You know what? You know what? I wish we would have.
I don't want to say I.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Don't know what, but I'm going to go to break
and we're gonna find out right when we get back. Okay,
we're back.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
What what is it after I just stumbled into brick?
I don't wish, but it would be nice a moment
that I would have liked to have recorded that we share. Oh,
I know you already know which one it is?

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Catchphrase?

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yes, when we were playing catchphrase.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
I've never made Brian laugh that hard.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
That was the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's so funny because I wasn't trying to be funny.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
No, that's why it was so good.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
Sucks, No, it doesn't, it doesn't suck. It just is
like it as a comedian when you're like, hang, when
your friends laugh at you, when you're comedian, friends who
you admire laugh at you, and you say like, and
they don't let You're like, I don't always crack you
up in the way that you know.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
I'm a tough laugh.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, but I but I respect it and there's nothing
wrong with that. But then the time that I do,
and it's not even intentional, is just like damn, Like okay,
but it's also makes me feel good because it's like, Okay,
I guess I'm naturally funny.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yes, well absolutely, this was like pure like this was
like Nicky Glazer heroin funny. This was just like finding
the cure, finding the.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
Remember what I said, Yeah, I remember exactly what. You
can catchphrase the game, Brian.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
You can describe it catchphrase is it's like a game
where you have this disc and it has categories on it,
and you have to describe the things that pop up
on the disc without saying the words on the disc,
and then you pass it around in a circle and
you can have teams or not. It's sort of like
heads up. You know heads up.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Is that where you hold the phone to your phone.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yeah, you hold the phone up to your head heads
up kind of destroyed catchphrase because catchphrase was very popular
in the nineties and early two thousands, and it was
like this circular disc and it was electronic. Before it
was electronic, it was like a little paper disc that
you would actually click and it would go through. And
the downfall of catchphrase was because it was this electronic

(22:40):
thing not connected to the internet, it couldn't upgrade, update
it's works. So then when they came out with apps
that were a similar game where they could constantly come
out with new words, catchphrase pretty much went extinct.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Yes, yes, but it's they're funny because they have like
old references and they're like stuck in an yes and
then and.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Then what's funny about it is that you can do.
One of the categories you can do is decades. You
can have a bunch of words from the seventies and
it's like afro and you have to try to get
people to guess out getting off, getting off.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
But then they also had two thousand tens, but this
catch phrase came out in twenty fourteen, so all the
twenty tens clues are like, so not twenty tens in
our mind, Like it's it's.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
They're so all right because they're in the decades, so
they got.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
In the middle. Yeah, they're like, yeah, what's twenty tens?
And it's like something very specific from twenty eleven that
nobody remembers it.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Like it's like the Harlem Shake or something, and you're like,
what exactly that was, like the first meme dance, and
we've all forgotten it was a huge fucking deal at
the time.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
I've ever forgotten big things, Like I barely remember like
Gangnam Style. I remember how big that was.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
Oh yeah, yeah that.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Was I mean huge.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
I was like I think the first like YouTube video
to hit a billion or something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
This makes me kind of depressed about like the pastage
of time because there's so many things like if you
remember back from the twenty ten's where they seem so
important and huge at the time, and then you look
back and like, gagnot.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
It makes me happy. Nothing matters. Well, yeah, you're massive.
Like if I do something it's a massive failure, everyone
will forget. It doesn't matter. If it's a win, they'll forget.
If it's a lose, they'll forget. It's all gonna end
up on a catchphrase collecting dust. Well, they don't make
them anymore, so I guess I'll never be on like
a man made catchpraise. I think I'm probably famous enough

(24:31):
to be in an app one now, I would hope.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
So are you kidding me? You're way beyond you. You've
been on Jeopardy, You've had Jeopardy clues in New York
Times crossword puzzle.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah, yeah, cross that's true. But catchphraises for dumber people,
and those are for people. Those other two are people
paying attention, and catch raises more general and it's like
more I would say, household names. I don't think I'm
quite that yet, but I'm okay with that. So we
were playing catchphrase and we kept getting yelled at by
the production because they're trying to shoot like you know,
f Boy Island dates, and we would be like, you know,

(25:03):
like the screams like we were watching a football game
and like because the timer would run out and we
were just screaming.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
But it was me, you hair and makeup, You're who
you also sometimes get to do hair and makeup now?

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yeah, Leah locally.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
And then the wardrobe.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Stacy from wardrobe, whose last name I just had to
look up because someone asked about her. Stacy, if you're listening,
I gave your name to someone and I forget her
last name now, but she's amazing and I love her.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
She's very good. And we were playing catch phrase, tossing
it around the circle, and like Stacy was sitting on
the ground, like not really facing us and sort of
not playing, and but me, you and Leah were.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Playing, okay.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Stacy tried to interject at one point, but then Leah
kind of said something over her and she didn't get
to interject. And then you go, hyuh, so I forgot
exactly what you said.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
You go, missed your shot or something.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
You go, you you miss your shot, you get trampled,
bitch razzle dazzles, You get trampled bitch.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Razzled dazzle. It was yeah, and you like couldn't. It
was so gratifying. You were laughing so hard for so long.
It felt like I was that must be like how
Kurston feels.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
It was.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
It just was so nice, even though I'm comedian and
I should know what it feels like, but to make
someone laugh on a thing you have not planned, oh yeah,
it feels just so amazing.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
So I would like to have that memory recorded, and
I feel like that that makes me think of like
a reverse internal sunshine, which is like, wouldn't it be
nice if you could have like every single moment in
your life recorded or at least accessible in your brain
so you can go into a room and be like,
do you want to act? They did this in Minority Report,

(27:04):
And I do believe that it's true that every single
memory that you've ever experienced is in your brain somewhere. Yeah,
it's just the the neuronal pathways to get to it
are completely desertated.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
But we also remember things the wrong way, so the
memory not the way it happened.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
Well, you can retrain you can. They called the golden scissors.
You can retrain your brain to convince yourself that something
that happened one way happened another way by just continually
remembering it that way over and over again until the
fake memory becomes stronger than the actual memory.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Oh, j Simpson kill his wife and I think he true.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
It's probably true.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, I really think he believed it.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, Souse, you say it enough, you just start to
and you think it enough. So if you're like, oh,
Jerry was at that party, Jerry was never at the party.
But if for ten years you're thinking Jerry was at
the part, Jerry's at the party, and then you see
Jerry and you're like, you remember when you're at that party,
and he was like, I was never at that party.
I was in Ethiopia on.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
The It's wild when that stuff happens too, Yeah, where
I'll be like, no, there's no way you weren't and
they're like, there's no way I was, And here's receipts,
and I'm like, oh my god, what the fuck is
wrong with my brain? Yeah, it's happen a lot. It's disturbing.
But what event would you Uh, I'm trying to think
of other events i'd recall. It's all just funny stuff.

(28:27):
It's all like really funny. You had to be there moments.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
I think that I I mean, this is kind of
this is kind of cliche, but I would definitely go
back to my wedding. I would go back to dancing
at my wedding. Oh, I would go there was there
was a moment when I was in college where I
was just like in the it was freshman year, first
semester of college where I was in like the shared
shower in the dorm huh. And I was just, for

(28:51):
some reason so happy and optimistic and excited. It was
like that college freshman sort of like optimism. I have
not been able to recover that optimism since then, and
I remember this moment exactly where I was just in
the shower and I was like, everything is going so well.
I love life so much. College is awesome. I love that.
I'm so hopeful for the future.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, you need to smoke weed again.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
I never I haven't felt that way since then.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
This is all leading to yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Or Another moment was when the store, I uh, when
I got just for Laughs. I got the I was
I was coaching an improv group. I walked out I
got the call, and I was walking down uh Broadway
on the Upper West Side, and I was just like,
I got it, and I felt so optimistic. A misled optimism,
I would say, because getting just for Laughs did absolutely

(29:41):
nothing for me, but at the time it felt like, God,
this is so important and amazing.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, that's that's a nice moment I'm trying to think of.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
I would relive the roast. Oh, watching you crush up
there was like winning.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Why wouldn't I relive it? I just wanted to stay there.
That's interesting. I wouldn't want to relive anything. I'd want
to maybe watch I could watch The Ross. I could
watch that again. I think it does exist.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
I haven't watched it.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
It's I I really haven't. I sent a couple of
clips and stuff, but I lived it, so I'm just like,
I'm not interested, and it's there's nothing I can do.
Watching it is only I would only watch it if
I had to edit it, and I don't even want
to do that. But but I will say that I
I would just like to go back in everyone and
my friends and like my parents and like my the

(30:35):
lives of the people. I love to see the moment
they saw their husband or wife for the first time,
or like what what like I.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
Love I love.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Hearing stories of like how people met, or like when
they both knew, or the moment like it turned romantic.
Like I watched a clip of Freddy Prince Junior talking
about him and Sarah Michelle Geller starting out his friends
and then becoming romantic when they went on. They were
like just friends hanging out for two years and they
were not into each other, and then they went out

(31:10):
with another friend. They were supposed to go out with
another friend. That friend didn't show up, and then it
ended up being a date, and then on that date,
they drank enough that they were kind of like, this
is romantic, and then it was that like I love
those like moments where they like it turns romantic. And
you know, that's why I've asked to hear your story
of meeting Ali for the first time so many times. Afie,
I feel like I know the origin. You saw pictures

(31:31):
of him online before you.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
No, No, it's actually similar to Freddie Prince and Sarah
Michelle Geller. We became we were friends through the metal scene.
Oh and he came to a podcast that I was on,
and at first I was just like not interested. We
just were acquaintances for maybe I think eight years before
we started dating.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
And then I was on the Racy's Insane. I don't
know this, and I actually was at one point.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
I met him for the first time in twenty through
a friend. Was not interested. He was in a relationship,
but I was in a relationship. You know, didn't really
is that why you weren't interested? Or was there like
you clocked it? Uh? I thought he was cute, but
I was just like, Ugh, I do not want to
date the frontman of any band. I was into the
guitar players at that point. So funny, so stupid, even

(32:22):
though I found.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Out recently that Noah was like truly in love with
a front man of a band named Axel Rose. Oh,
you told my secret. I didn't know. It was a
very It was sorry.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
You can take it out if you don't want no, No,
it's fine, I don't care you.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
She loved guns and roses separate story, but let's just
go back to Avie for a Secondeah, but she did.
She wasn't like the way I am with Taylor Swift.
She was with Axel Rose. She used to buy magazines.
This is the cutest detail. I'm sorry, Noah. She was
to buy they She saved her for money. This high
school or middle school.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
This was definitely high school where he was on the
cover of Spin magazine. And it wasn't even like a
recent photo of it was like an older one.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
I put it in a large ziploc bag, and whenever
I would look through it, I would use tweezers.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Tweezers wanted to Honestly, it's done the same thing. If
I had thought of that a brilliant idea with Dave
Matthew's band Rolling Stone. I used to do the same
kind of show ossion, so okay, But anyway, an ave
not interested in him in that way. And then we
were on You Up together and we were talking about
the book getting too I do. And that's when I

(33:31):
kind of just like saw him on Instagram after years
of not really paying attention to him, and then I
messaged him and I did the book and I got
to ida, oh my god, so you what do you
remember the picture you saw? Do you remember? Like it
was such a stupid picture too.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
It was just like him in a photo with a
mutual friend and he was holding a beer bottle. He
was at a wedding, and I was like, oh, he
looks so cute. I wonder what he's up to. And
then I went to his profile was private, and I
was like, oh, well, I got a lot of good
things going on. I'm going to send him a request.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
You know.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
It was one of those guys care that you have
a lot of good things, you know, they don't care.
That was before you read the book and knew that
they don't care. They don't care.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
He just wanted to see hot photos of me and yeah.
And then we went on our first date in Brooklyn.
I think we went to first so I let him
choose the place.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
It was a bar.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
We went to the bar and I didn't drink, so
he's like, Okay, I get you a drink. I'm like,
I'll just take a Seltzer. And then when he realized
that I don't drink, he's like, oh, this is probably
not fun for you. Do you want to go get
something to eat? Then we went to Buttermilk in Brooklyn
and then we just started talking about everything and we're

(34:49):
like and I just was like, oh my god, we
have so much in common.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Yeah, and that's what I'd want footage of, is a
first date. I like the first date because it's like
before both these people are, they have no idea they're
going to and the rest of their lives together. Sure,
it's so interesting.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
It's also a key uh, A key veteran date move
is to if it's going well, try to change locations
at least once. That's that's how you get you get
confirmation that that, oh, this is actually.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
An indicator of interest that a girl.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
If you go, yeah, if you go, if you're if
you start off at a bar and you' getting a
drink and you said you want to get something to eat.
Then you and they say if they say yes, then
you're like, okay, this is this.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
I loved when that would happen on dates where it
was going well and you both would feel it and
you'd be like, should we just keep paying out? It's like, oh, yeah,
same page. Yes, it's so nice. That's such a fun feeling.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
I think that's That's really what I'd be interested in
is is seeing You're.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Not interested in seeing your own memories. You want to
see other people's memories. Yeah, you just want to you
want a recording of everything on earth.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Even with Chris and I. I would I would kind
of like to see I would like to see the
look on my face after the moment I knew that
I was going to pursue him and like he was
gonna be mine, because I remember when I found out
it was because he like I'd already kind of like
noticed him, and then I found out he didn't drink,
and then I found out he made a video that
he didn't need to make just to make the host laugh.

(36:16):
And when I found when they when I go who
made that video and they said Chris Convey from the
Darkness because I was on stage and they said Chris Convy.
I just would I'm sure it's like, actually, I'm sure
there's a video of it somewhere because I was on camera,
but we were stopped down, so I don't think the
cameras were rolling.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
But I just.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Remember being like I almost I probably even nodded, like
and that is going to be my new mission, Like
I knew it. It's confirmed. He's amazing. Yep, that's my guy.
That would be fun to see.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Sure, did you hide you're dating when you work together?
Did you guys hide that you were dating at first? Oh? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (36:52):
And there's nothing fucking otter. That's why being Mormon is
so hot. Like that's why being like any kind of
like I got to that and kind of like to
a leap too far, but like that's why, that's why
there's like porn around like Mormon and step step siblings
because it's taboo and it's not allowed, and so it

(37:14):
makes it so much hotter. So yeah, we were sneaking around.
We Yeah, we had a lot of fun and it
was all driven by Moah. It was definitely it was.
It was fun, but it was like we did some
people didn't know, and we didn't do anything that would
have like really gotten us in trouble. I say, so
we don't get in trouble, but like right, I mean

(37:36):
we did some really like I was. I was a
sexual deviate for sure.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
I am.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
I put a fucking gummy worn in my vagina. I
can be very weird when I'm in the beginning of
a relationship and things are horny, like I get, I
get pretty creative. So we had some really fun moments.
But no, people didn't know, but they did. He didn't
tell fucking anyone because he like doesn't need to do
that kind of stuff. But I everyone knew that I

(38:02):
was like in love with him before we were even together.
So when we got together, they all knew. And then
I would just and then I and I would just
blush and I would just he would leave a room.
I was so in love with him. When he didn't know,
he thought I hated him. He would like leave the
room and I would like fall on the floor and
like make a big thing. Everyone knew. Everyone knew except him.
So it was when we got together, Yes, we had

(38:23):
to keep it secret. And then I was like the
second week kissed, I was like, let's tell everyone we're together.
Like I didn't say that, but I would have, but
I had learned by then to not be like that
and just be like play cool. See when he tells people,
which would have been fucking never's people still wouldn't know
if it were up to him. But uh, but yeah,
eventually we got to be out with it. I don't

(38:45):
think it was like a we have to announce this
to everyone or anything like that. It just like kind
of naturally had just show up to places together and
then people kind of I think it just word got
out because the people I told told people, and then
it just trickled down and then I think it was
never something we had to announce because then the show
was canceled before that happened. Yeah, it was. It's so fun.

(39:10):
It's and people are always like kind of have to
tiptoe around talking about office romances because there is a
power imbalance oftentimes involved. That's how people meet.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Sometimes you have to disclose to HR relationship.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Now, yeah, we didn't tell mtv HR at the time.
Carson Dally, whoever it was that was leading that branch. No,
we didn't.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
We didn't tell anyone. Wherever you work at MTV, you
have to tell Carson Dale your relationship status.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
I'm sure there is a protocol for that, but I
don't begrudge anyone meeting at work. That's how you fucking
meet and when people most of your time exactly.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Ali has a saying, Uh, don't get your honey where
you get your money.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Oh, that's better than don't ship where you eat or
whatever people say. That makes me just like so.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Showing people's mouths and then ask him for a paycheck,
I think.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Yeah, I hate, I hate, don't you Okay, So don't
get your honey where you get your money. I'll tell
you though, when you're getting the honey where you get
your money. It makes going to work so much fun.
Oh my dear God. When during the U up days, man,
when I would have a crush come in, there's nothing
better than I would like inter Like a guy would

(40:25):
be booked to come in and like I would be
interviewing him and like there's already been a vibe because
we would just have comedians on and I was single
at the time, and so that would be so I
would be skipping to fucking work that day when there's
gonna be like a romance, like it's having a crush
is the best feeling, like butterflies for someone is great,

(40:45):
and I have it for Chris sometimes, Like we haven't
seen each other for a really long time, so recently
when we've been talking it's been like, oh hi, oh
my god, you're such a cutie. Like there's been a
lot of yes, it will never be what it was.
That part of our relationship has died forever. It will
never be as and as electric they please, I'm craving it, but.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
No, we've done something.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
I think that's what roleplay works to.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Sure that helps, But to get chemically infatuated would be
would be something worth pharmaceutical companies pursuer.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
I've always said that if they could sell, if there
was a drug that made you feel the way it
feels to have a crush, I would be on skid row.
And there's no question about it. I'm lucky that I
don't get crushes easily. I think they're called love addicts.
I think I'm a love addict that is just too
picky to have gotten like to a bad place with it.
But I absolutely love the feeling of having a crush

(41:42):
so much and and then I like, I recently felt
there was something that reminded me of it that I
was like, oh, there was some It was like an
a an album or something that felt crush like in
my infatuation with it. And then something I got rejected
by it in some way recently, and the feeling came

(42:04):
back to me of like when you like someone and
they don't like you, and it's on the other side
of the crush feeling is a devastation, oh yeahd of
rejection or a loss when you just know a crush
isn't gonna work out. One time, this guy, I like,
we had been back and forth so many times, and
I thought there was like a vibe between us, and
fucking Ian Fidance was like there was I felt, Nikki,

(42:25):
he totally isn't you. And so he's like send him
a text like make it happen tonight, just say what
like is on your mind now. He's like tell him
the truth, and I like wrote him like you looked
cute tonight, or like I took it like we were
like friends again after having been romantic, and then it
was like we were just friends now. But I was
like are we though I still like him, so I
wrote like you look cute tonight, and he instantly called

(42:46):
me and was like, Nikki, no, this is never gonna
happen again. This door is like he pretty much was like,
this door is shut. Like he was very nice about it,
so honestly, so nice about it. But it felt horrible.
It's so embarrassing to get rejected. But it happens to
people all the time.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
It's like it's very common.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
You can't not in life. You have to do yourself
out there. Nicki no. I thought he was picking up
the phone to be like, let's do it, meet me
on the corner, and it's like nicky no. He literally
goes nicky no, like bad girl, and I'm like, oh man,
that's the opposite of what turns me on. No, what
were you.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Gonna say, Well, I was going to say that I
don't like. I mean, it's only one time that I
had to be on the other end of that the
person being like blah blah blah, no, we're not doing this. Yes,
it was so uncomfortable, but I have to say it
like propelled our friendship to this other branch and now
it's like someone who I'm so close with Yeah, he's

(43:47):
one of my dearest friends.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
I've been I've been the no it's never gonna happen,
and I've It's led to some great friendships too. I
can't recall any of them because they all fell off
as soon as I no. Actually, one of one of
my closest friends who I won't reveal, uh, used to
have a crush on me, and it was to the
point where it was like, I can't do this anymore,

(44:10):
Like I can't talk about my life with you, because
you seem to be so angry that you know, like
when you're a girl, you want to talk about guys,
even to your guy friends, even though they're bored by it,
but at least they're not angry about it. But this
guy would get like you could. I could just tell
it's hurting him. And and now it's like so much
time has passed that it's I don't even consider that

(44:31):
we had to go do our separate things. But now
it's like that was weird different people, and we were.
That's the truth of it, is that and I think
I could be friends with the Thing is, though, you
just don't become friends with men when everyone's partnered up.
You don't make new male friendships. Sorry, ladies, you don't

(44:54):
get it. Like you can get the you can get there,
you can be grandfathered in. Yeah, but you're not making
you're not making new friends. And it's not because of
your jealous boyfriend. It's sometimes because of their jealous partner.
But it's also sometimes not because of either of those.
It's just like, it's rare if it happens. I'll say that,
but I just don't think. I don't think it's happening.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
New friends sus I certainly don't have any new female
friends that aren't like my friend's wife.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Here's a great point that I'm going to frustrate people about.
But I've thought this through a lot. I'm gonna go
to break and i'll tell you after that. Here's the thing.
When you are two people of the opposite sex and
you're both straight and your best friends or good friends

(45:44):
or whatever, and then one of you gets a partner,
it's weird when you tell the It's just it's a
little bit weird to go hang out with that friend
and tell the partner like, I'm not hanging out with you,
I'm going to hang out with this other guy or
vice versa. Right, I'm gonna I'm not hanging out with
you girlfriend. I'm gonna go hang out with this girl
who's my friend that I hung out with before we
were together. But and then she's like, but and if

(46:05):
you don't invite them, it seems like you're doing something naughty,
even though if it was another girlfriend, your boyfriend wouldn't
give a fuck, and he'd be he'd be glad not
to be invited, and we want to go. That's fine. Okay,
So that's fine, that's fine. You're a friend, two friends,
opposite sex, both straight, and now this guy got a girlfriend.

(46:27):
Now this girl to hang out with. This guy must
always now hang out with the girlfriend in order to
hang out with the guy. Other otherwise it's sus and
the girlfriend's gonna start hating you. But sometimes and you
might love the girlfriend honestly, she might be great. And
I'm I'm people are just are maybe gonna try to
be like. This is about Andrew Brett. This is not
about this is I've formed this opinion long before anything.

(46:50):
It's and even before Chris, like in me making new
guy friends sometimes though you I don't know, no if
I you and I are hanging out and you were like,
I have to bring AV. I'd be like, what, I
like AVI, but I like our dynamic. It's what I'm
used to, and like we're gonna talk in a different
way than I'm gonna talk around your fucking partner. And

(47:11):
that's not because I don't like him or when I
hang out with him. But imagine but friends that are
male and female, they can't ever hang out without the
partner being there. And you might go, well, what's wrong
with the partner being there? Here's what's wrong. It just
changes the dynamic. It's nothing against the partner. It's just
like you never get your old you never get your
old dynamic again unless they're out of town, which then

(47:32):
feels like sneaky for a reason it shouldn't be.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
I used to be guilty of this, like I would
bring my boyfriend everywhere. This is like when I was
really young in relationships and didn't know any better. But
I think through Ester Perel and her like thought and stuff, like,
I realize you you need to have your autonomy. You
gotta have your own friendships. You can't have your partner
and everything that you do. It's just like they can't

(47:57):
be everything for you. That's how you need other people.
But I think it's rare.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
It is look down upon to hang out with a
man alone when your boyfriend is available to hang right
and you, and vice versa. It looks like something fishy
might be having, and vice versa. It just is weird
and it shouldn't be, but it is. And Chris, I
do think it just speaks to how secure you are
in your relationship and no offense to people that get

(48:22):
jealous of that. Like I, I think that if you
I don't care if Chris hangs out with a girl.
I know everyone knows that I don't even care if
he would to be doing other things with a girl.
But I Chris also doesn't care if I hang out
with male friends that I was friends with before. If
I made a new male friend, he might be like
what I And that's kinda sucks because I like being

(48:43):
friends with men. But it's not because of Chris. It's society.
It's not Chris.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
I mean, I've I've hung out with friend girls that
are friends that are that I was friends with before. Ali.
I'll go to a lunch with like my friend Christina
and we'll just chat or or.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Is aally at work or is Ali free on this
Saturday to also go to.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
This lunch She's free. I don't think it's a problem.
Like Chris has his friend Nick sometimes with Nick.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, And I'm saying and I don't care, but I'm different.
I'm saying that more people need to get on. I'm
not trying to be like I'm the cool girl, because
I know it comes across like that, like I'm different
than our god. But I do think that it should
be allowed more. I will say, if he made a
new girlfriend at least and.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Then and then you're like, I don't want to be there.
I've got a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Got a stitch razzle dazzle.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yeah, if you're I think it depends on the hang.
Like if you're like, I'm gonna go watch a movie
at her place, that's fu. Yeah, no, that's not go
to lunch with this person who's also maybe in your
industry too, Like that's I feel like, totally.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Okay, but industry No. Then you're making something it about work,
and you're excusing that friendships can only exist that there's
work involved. But that's not true. People should be able
to be friends with the opposite sex and still be
attracted to the opposite sex and not be accused of
being attracted to that person and be able to have
an independent friendship. And I believe that I do. I
honestly do think that I have that with Chris. And

(50:17):
if I didn't meet a new guy that I wanted
to be friends with, Chris would be friends with him
because Chris is fun to hang out with me hard.
I just answered my own question, final thought.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
I have a final thought? Can I say a final thought?
Because I'd be to Utah or Noah's thing.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
So I saw Axel Rose last week. No, you did not,
I did. I saw Axel Rose last week. So I
went to the Intuit Dome to see Billy Joel. My
second time seeing Billy Joel. He's my Taylor Swift. I'm
going to see the third time. I'm going to see
Billy Jil a third time in Vegas in just a
couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
That's so exciting. Billy Joel was actually at the Miami
show that I was at and went backstage in Matt
Taylor really kids. Yeah, there's a picture I saw last night.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
So caute, pretticable.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
So Billy Joel had a couple of special guests come
out during the show. One of them. It's just it's
so funny because one of them was John Mayer. And
I've seen John Mayer make a surprise special guest appearance
at four different concerts now and one time at the
Comedy Seller.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
Oh wow, see that's a non married man.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Yeah, there you go. He played a good guitar solo.
But me and Ali were just like, I cannot fucking
believe it's John Mayer because when he's like, we got
a very special guest, I'm like, who are we going
to see? I'm surprised he didn't come out. Did you
come out of the super Bowl? No? He didn't.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Right now, this is gonna be a fun thing for
you guys. It's got the next time it happens, You're gonna.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Go four times it's John May.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
Like you'll say it together.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
With the person Billy Joel.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
Wow? What did they sing together or play together? Sorry?

Speaker 2 (51:50):
A Billy Joel song? I forgot which one. But then
he brought out a second special guest to sing live
and let die Paul McCartney's song for Fun I Know,
and the special guest was Axel Rose to sing it.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
I thought you were gonna say Paul McCartney.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
That would have been better.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
But it's really cool.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
I know, it's really cool.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
That song rules. And I bet Axel fucking tore that
song up.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Yeah he did a good job, he was. Yeah, he
did a good job.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
It's like in his range or it used to. We
used to be in his range. I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Yeah, it wasn't quite like you know, Guns n' Roses
era singing, but it was still.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Billy Joel's voice amazing still just side.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
I can't believe it. Yeah, it's like amazing. One of
my favorite bands to go would would be to ever
go see it would be Simon and Garfunkel. But I
know if I saw Simon and Garfunkle, now I'd be like, mah,
the vocals just aren't hitting the mark that because they're so.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Vocal, right, So about the vocals, Yes.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Billy Joel. I was worried before I went to see
him the first time that his voice would not match
the recordings. And it's like it's not just as good,
but it's pretty close.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
That's incredible.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
He puts on a show.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
It's that's awesome and yuh, what when you when you
hear that he saw Axel ros Does that send your
heart a flutter? Like do you still get like it doesn't?
Over it? I'm so over it. After meeting him, I
snuckating him.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Yes, I snuck into Madison Square Garden when he came back.
Uh you know, like the the Fake Guns and Roses
band back in like two thousand something. I snuck in
backstage mid amount of party. And after that it just
like I was like, I don't care about this guy anymore.
Why was I obsessed with what? It's not anything he did.
He was very nice to you, right, he was very

(53:34):
nice to me. But it was just like this this
person that I was, I was craving him so badly.
And then once you satisfy the craving, you meet them
and then I was just, oh.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
God, someone so badly like that, I mean obsessed, And
I got to hook up with him, and I remember
it was it's unreal like teenage annisy uh not literally yeah, teenage.
It was like probably nineteen twenty were the ages where

(54:09):
I was so lovely? Was nineteen twenty, nineteen twenty, It's
about nineteen twenty, the golden age that was my teenage fantasy.
I was either nineteen or twenty and I was desperately
in love.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
With Charlie Chaplin.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
No, it was, and look at me. I can't think
of a single other person that is the nice famous
in nineteen twenty Wait, hold on, let me see if
I can get it. Hold on, Buster Keaton.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
I mean I think, yeah, Buster Keaton, I think so.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Yeah, I think that's fine. Okay, that was good. That
was good. Good job nickey.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
Yeah he was the general in nineteen twenty six.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
Fuck yes, Damous, I nailed it.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
You totally make castle.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
So uh but yeah, I remember I got I hook
up with him. I like found a way to make
it happen. And this wasn't someone that was just so
extraordinarily famous or anything, but he was like enough of
a star that I could really like, oh my god,
if I ever And I did, and I remember just
in the middle of it, not even the middle, the
very being in being literally saying in my mind as

(55:18):
if I was filming a movie, this is it, like in.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
That test like the Boyhood the end of is it
Boyhood movies?

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (55:29):
Really at the end those ones where it's like, yeah,
I think it's Boyhood, where the mom at the end
it's an incredible scene where she's at the end of
her she's in her sixties or something, and she goes,
this is it, Like she's not happy, even though then
they should that she inspired all these people and stuff,
but she's still not satisfied.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
No, it was just filming the office, and it was
like I did a look to camera like Jim like
want to do this. I remember being so self aware.
I remember every single second and moment of that hookup
because it's to become like, oh, this is I can't
believe the pedestal I had this person on. It was awesome.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
It was and the story round is so odd. Obviously
you cannot say who it is. No, but is there
any little crumb for speculation.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Already given dates? I've already given dates, and that's enough
for people to probably like, like, your sleuthing will not
give you the answer because I'm not. I'm I'm not
going to give you enough that you will ever be
able to like actually validate it. So no, no more information.
If you piece together every podcast I've done in my
whole life, you can probably AI could probably scan other

(56:38):
podcasts and put together this person. But but I just remember,
and it wasn't because this person was like a terrible
hookup or something. It just and I think we've all
felt that in ways where we like romanticize what it
would be like to kiss this person than you do,
and you're just like, this isn't like it.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
I was.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
I was living flea bag.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
Yeah right, yeah, Well how dangerous would it have been
if they did me the moment and they blew your
fucking mind?

Speaker 1 (57:02):
Oh well, I've also had that where I've with Chris.
It was like that because and Chris I had was
obsessed with, like in a way that like the same
part of me that loves Taylor Swift like crushes on guys,
like it's I get as obsessive and like detail oriented
and like did you hear him say this? And then
he's like I like to like I'm a swiftief in

(57:23):
every part of my life when I get into something,
And so with Chris, I had fantasized about it and
thought about it so many fucking times. And I knew,
based on my whole existence, that I would always build
up these crushes and then I would finally get with them,
and then I would instantly be like I don't like
this anymore. Yeah, But with Chris. It was. It was

(57:44):
so hot, it was so on, it was so exciting,
it was so electric. It was everything I wanted to be.
That's why as soon as we kissed, I jumped into
a cab. He was like, I didn't even know, like
what was going on because you were in a cab
so fast after we kissed, because I didn't want anything
to ruin the moment and like take me out of it.
I was just like I got what I wanted. This
is the ties I'm gonna get and I can't get
any higher. And yeah. And then I also think though

(58:05):
that the reason I kept liking him even after we
hooked up was because and the reason I used to
not like guys when we would hook up is because
I would be like, oh, he likes me, and like
this is boring now. And I don't think Chris liked
me right away. And I think deep down I knew that,
and I think he would admit that, like he was

(58:27):
still a challenge for me, and so I'm still interested.
It took me many years, I would say, until May
of twenty twenty four, until I was like willing to
accept that it's very comfortable to have someone love you
and not have to be like pursuing them and just
like let it in. And that's all I'll say on that,
And we'll find out about Utah next week. And also
some the Bessie slid into your DMS. Noah, Yes, can

(58:49):
I just answer it real quick? Sure? So basically I
got a DM from Kelsey and she wanted me to
let you know. She's a huge bestie.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
She's been to like twelve of your shows and her
and her friend Lauren are going to your Memphis show
and Lauren is having a divorce party and she's celebrating
her divorce.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
So we want to see we got that's so exciting. Congratulations.
It's so hard to divorce, it's so easy to just stay.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
It's so much to go through. We would say there's
no such thing as a bad divorce.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
That's such a good, good line. It's so good, and
it's so hard to do. You're so strong to go
through it and to leap into the unknown and also
feel like a failure. That's you know what. Whoe Okay,
hold the fucking phone. I just uncovered something. Weddings are

(59:45):
so over the top to discourage you from divorcing because
it is so embarrassing to throw a ceremony where you
declare your love to everyone you know, and you spend
all of this money and you rent out this venue
and you hire a band and you have fly in
people from all over, even sickle Grandma, and then you
throw it all away. What was all that for? That's embarrassing?
You are? You're an idiot that you just did all that.

(01:00:07):
They are purposely designed to discourage people from divorcing. I
truly believe that shames you. Yes, it's part of the church.
We'll design a wedding an event that makes it so
you feel like this is so locked in and you'll
be humiliated to then take it all.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
Back before your government, before your god.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Guys, go easy on your weddings out there. Yeah, make
it so that if you take it back and a
couple of years, like you don't have to stay any
Because some people have a wedding and I think they
won out within two months, but they go, I got
at least wait a year, And then a year they're like,
it's still too soon. It feels weird. We just got
the pictures back, because pictures take forever to get back.
And then they checks and then they say two years.

(01:00:49):
Because usually when I ask people about their divorce and
I go, how long did you stay? They go, I
was married for seven years, but uh divorce And I go,
so it was good for two years and they're like, yeah,
oh it's never It was good the seven years and
then we called it quits. Ever ever, So good on
you for finally pulling the plug. I'll see you in Memphis.

(01:01:10):
Thanks for plugging that date too for me. I don't
know when I'm gonna be there, but it's gonna be
a fun night. And I hope I remember, Noah, I hope. Uh,
if you could remember, remind me. Sure to make me
say something that night at that show. That'd be fun.
I'm on the road, guys. So many new tour dates announced,
so exciting, so many new places. I'm going to check
it out. Nicki Glazer dot com. Come see me on tour.

(01:01:30):
You know I love when I meet you. Thank you
so much for listening to podcast. I love you, besties,
Thanks Brian, Thanks Noah, don't be good bye. The Nicki
Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by me Nicki
Glazer co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell,
Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean

(01:01:53):
and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina.
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