January 21, 2025 • 63 mins
On this episode of The Professional Homegirl Podcast, Eboné sits down with a remarkable mortician who turned a childhood calling into a powerful career in the funeral industry. Her journey began at just 8 years old when a tragic murder shook her small town, sparking a lifelong passion for helping others during their final chapter. Years later, her path came full circle in an unimaginable way—her father’s passing became her first embalming experience.
Eboné and her guest dive into the realities of owning and operating a funeral home in a rural town, breaking barriers as a female mortician in a male-dominated profession, and navigating the emotional challenges of supporting grieving families.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before
we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that
the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those
of the host and guests and are intended for educational
and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is
off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can
be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to
(00:22):
celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color,
providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will
be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a
reminder that tough times don't last, but professional Homegirls do
enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey, professional Homegirls, I hope all is cute. Ishigara Ebine here,
and I am so excited about this week's episode because
we're diving into a story that's truly one of a kind.
My guest shares her incredible journey of discovering, at just
eight years old that she wanted to be a mortician, y'all.
(01:09):
From being drawn to the death industry at such a
young age to navigating the challenges of pursuing a career
most people shy away from She opens up about the beauty, curiosity,
and sense a purpose she's found in her work. So
get ready for an eye opening conversation that would challenge
how you see life, death, and a unique calling to
(01:29):
serve others in their most vulnerable moments. I'm a mortician
starts now. All right, to my guests, thank you so
much for being on the show. How you doing? How
of course, how you doing? How you feeling.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I'm feeling great.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
I'm feeling great. I'm excited about this podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Girl, Yes, yes, listen.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I was telling my guests y'all that I've been wanting
to have a morticianal show for a very long time.
And the reason why is because I don't think I
ever shared this with my audience. But I used to
want to be a mortician when I was a little girl.
Yeah right, But the reason why is because I always
love makeup, right, I know they're gonna be like girl,
and I never wanted to be a makeup artist, so
(02:12):
and I was never really afraid of like scary shit.
So I was like, I could just be a mortician.
But I never saw black women in this field.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
What yeah, wow, we have a few like in my community.
I'm like in we have parishes in Louisiana versus counties.
So in the parish of jeff Davis Parish, I am
the first African American woman to become a martician, so
I'm the first for that first one to open my
(02:42):
own funeral home in this area. So yeah, we don't
have too many. I can count maybe maybe four within
the two parishes. It's not too many of black women
that does this.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
That's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like in certain fields,
especially in the death feel or the funeral industry feel,
I feel like there's not a lot of black women
that are in this space when I was growing up.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Right right, for sure, I'm surprised up there in New York.
I had a lady she my same article I guess
that you have read that you read, and she contacted
me from New York. I can't remember her name, and
you know, she was just cheering me on. She was like,
I've been doing this for like she was like thirty
five years in and she was like.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
They don't have too many of us because it's very challenging.
It's a male dominant industry and a lot of women
if you're not strong minded, strong headed, like it's not,
you cannot be in this industry because you know a
lot of men still feel that we should be behind
the desk right.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Well, So I was born in New York, but I
was raised in Memphis, so I definitely an't see no
black female morticians in the South.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Wow, wow, did you when you was growing up?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
No, exactly, I'm not saying like you right across female
morticians on a daily basis.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
No, not when we were younger, but as sure as
I've gotten older. We have a few where I live
in like Charles, My funeral is in Jenn's. I'm from Genis,
so it's about twenty five minutes from there to here.
And we have about two other women that's actually licensed marticians.
Because you can be a licensed funeral director and not.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Being in bomber and you're just a funeral director.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
So but to be a martician, you are in bomber
and a funeral director in your license.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So no, Like going back.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
To what you said, like, No, all I saw was
men looking like Frankenstein's in suits.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
That's what I'm saying. But when I was doing my
research and how I discover you is I was going
down a rabbit hole because I'm like, oh, that it
would be kind of cool because I never spoke to
a mortician before, and I'm like, oh wow, it's a
lot of brownies that are morticians now, like y'all like everywhere?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
No for real, no, for real? Yes, I completely agree.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, So can you talk about the historical significance of
black owned funeral homes because I thought, like, funeral homes
play a really big they're a really big part of
our community.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Correct, So we and Jennings we're about maybe maybe nine
thousand people, And yeah, we have maybe nine thousand people,
if not less than that.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Girl, I'm not sure. We're very rule.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
So they had a funeral home years ago in the eighties,
I know that was here.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Oh girl, that's another story for another day.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
And my funeral home is actually in a I don't
want to say a white community, but this is a
white neighborhood. I'm off of a major highway and so
I had to go through a zoning in order to
get here.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
And they they bad at me. All you're going to
do is cause traffic in our area and this and
that they did not want me here at all.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
So that's the look that. That's another story. But to
answer your questions, like in Jennings, we had a black
we had two black funeral homes, but it was kind
of like a branch off of their funeral homes that
was in a bigger city. But to have a funeral
funeral home here, about seven or eight years ago, this
family from Lake Charles came out here to Jennings and
(06:21):
saw a need to have a funeral home because before
they came about eight years ago, we had a funeral
home out here in Jennings that was closed for about
maybe ten years before that, so we really didn't have
like we have. We have like two white funeral homes here.
And let me also say this, of course I'm black owned,
(06:46):
but I am diverse. So if you look at funeral
home names around here, they always named their last names
the funeral home after their last name, so you'll know,
like around here you have Matthew and Son, so you
know that's white. Here you had fine Dale's. You know
that's a black funeral home. You have Cambri that's the
(07:06):
black funeral home. Megaz that's a white funeral home. I
didn't want I didn't want to be Oh that's a
blue black funeral home. I'm not going because here the
taboo is, you know, like black people can't take care
of white people, so they stick like black stay with black,
and white stay with white, which is not true.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
The taboo here white people think.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
That they die on today on a Tuesday, and they're
going to be black as us by Thursday.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
And that's not true. So they so you know us here.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I don't know how it is up there in New York,
but when if somebody died today, we're not bearing that
person this Saturday.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
We wait until next week until Auntie.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Grandma and all of them from down Yon to come
back home, you know. So that's I'm trying to change that.
I'm trying to change that narrative. I'm trying to get
out of.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Boring traditional funeral rules. I hate to stay like that.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
But for those who like to do traditional funerals, I'm
there for it. But the ones that want to have
a celebration of life.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I'm here for that as well. It's kind of change.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I feel like you we turning up in the funeral halls. Baby.
You ever seen that video of that corpse? They had
the dead guy in the club as his I feel like.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Is in New Orleans.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Is a funeral home in New Orleans that have a
lady martician is there and she does that, so that's
the closest funeral home. They're kind of like, they're not
where we are here. They're not ready for that see
through snow white casket yet I'm trying. I'm trying to
get somebody in there, but they haven't made it to
that point.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
But it's baby steps in this area.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
How did you feel about that when you saw that
video going viral because that was a bit much like
I don't want to be in the club. Turn it up.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
So that's not mine, it's not my first time seeing that, Like,
like that is the truth. Yeah, that was a true
definition of putting that person out how they were, and
I agree with that to a certain extent. They also
had a man that played the saxophone and they had
him standing.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Up with a saxophone, so he stood up.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
He didn't even have a casket around him, so that's
how he was for his visitation.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
So not to cut you.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Off, but explain what you mean by putting them out
there by how they were.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
So if they were a clubb a drinker like if like,
be true to who that person was. If that person
never wore a dress, don't put a dress on that person.
If they wore a T shirt and some jeans, well,
that's how you you be true to that person. That's
that's what I'm That's what I'm speaking about, so versus
(09:51):
the traditional way. If a man past, they have to
be in a suit versus being in a baseball a
jersey and jeans.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
How we're normally seeing them.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
So they pretty much uh and I say they the families,
the traditional families, you know, want a lady feel that
they should be in a dress, like go o forbid?
When when that time come from my mom, I would
never put in a dress because my mamma don wear dresses.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
My mama loves brown, So I'm going to dress her
how my mom was here right like walking around.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
So that's what I'm saying about being true to who
that person was while they were living and follow it
while they're in death.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Right, you know, nothing get off subject. But my cousin
and I we was having a conversation about people who
live in rural towns and it's just so funny because
I knew you was in Louisiana, but I didn't know
if it was in a smaller town in Louisiana. So
being at you because I feel like you are very
open to a lot of things, and I feel like
when you live in rural towns, it's not as invited
(10:56):
when it comes to certain dolls or things of that nature.
So you never wanted to branch out and go somewhere else,
to like a bigger city or something.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
No, not at all from country. I'm a country girl. No,
so from Jennings. I can literally show you my book. Girl.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
I wrote everything down in my senior book. I said
I wanted to live in Lake Charles, work at Lake Charles,
and then later on come back to Jennings and open
my funeral home. So I did the city life in Houston.
I had a mortuary school was in Houston. It's called
Commonwealth Institute of Funeral Service.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
So I lived there for fifteen months.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
So I didn't like it. It was just too many people.
I didn't really care for it. I'm used to getting
in my car. It takes me five minutes to go
to Walmart, not twenty five minutes to get to a Walmart.
So I moved back and I ended up living in
Lake Charles, Louisiana, and I still live there. I commute
twenty five minutes every day from my funeral home to
(11:57):
my home, and so yeah, it's it's a bit different.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Now, what are some myths about death and funerals that
you encounter in the community, Because I feel like as
Black people, we still haven't. I feel like we can
do a lot better when it comes to death planning,
death care, or even funeral arrangements. Like I feel like
we still have a hard time with getting things done
and timely matter. Like you said, like we shouldn't be
burying people two weeks later, No, don't put me on ice.
(12:31):
I need to get put you underground for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I think that at this point people are.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
I can't say, like the older generation is dying off,
and that generation is the ones.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
That had the little insurance policies on everybody.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
So what I try to do is every month I
try to bring light to the community. I have events
that goes on here at my funeral home on a Sunday,
I tried to get different people, different speakers to come
speak about about two months ago, I had four black
lawyer women, lawyers that came in that specialized in trust, wills, disability,
(13:22):
just different things, just to bring knowledge to them. And
so I had about twenty people here, and that's twenty
people that I know that I touched because you know,
they need to know, hey, what exactly needs to happen
before I passed away and what needs to be done.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So from I also do I had a pre.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Need insurance, which is when you come in and pre
plan your service. I'm an insurance agent for an insurance
company that I write through my own funeral home.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
That's right, girl own.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
We own a printing company. My husband and I own
a print company. I print all my programs, so it's
like everything go hand.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Go hand in hand. We don't have everything is in house,
so I know.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Yeah, And I noticed that when I worked for other
funeral homes, they would just come to the funeral home,
but they would have to go out and get flowers,
or get programs or get personal things, custom things done.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
For their funerals.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
And I was like, no, I want to have a
funeral home that does everything. So when you come here,
the price I give you, the price you pay, everything's
going to be done. You can go home and work
on the obituary, right right, I made it a little easier.
But getting back to your question, I try to bring
light to my family is about insurance.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
If you have insurance, check to.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
See if your beneficiary, if the beneficial area is deceased,
you need to change it.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
To someone that's the life because that's going to be
an issue once you pass away. So I try to
ge give.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Them knowledge so they won't have to come in here
and have no idea what to do or what's going on.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
But how do you make funerals more affordable for families?
Because I also feel like a lot of times we
just don't have the money. But I imagine how challenging
that is on your end.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Right, Well, let me say this.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I decided I've worked for four different funeral homes in
four in two different areas, three different areas. So I
worked in Lake Charles, Louisiana, I worked in Crowley, Louisiana,
and I worked in Oppollusis, Louisiana. So these are about
two hours apart from each other, and.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
So and tho it's not from Louisiana, Like what's the
difference between each one?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Like Lake Charles is more of a bigger city, Oppulusis
is a little bit smaller than Lake Charles Is a
little like it's so country around here.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Like it's so.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Country around here. So every where, I'm telling you, every
they think of Louisiana.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
They think of New Orleans. We we don't have nothing
to do with it. We're so far.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
We're like three hours three and a half hours.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Away from them.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
So what you see and the food and everything else,
I have nothing on us.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Boom, Listen, I know y'all go outside and get that meat. Baby,
I know that need.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Me fresh fresh boot fresh seafood. F I already know, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Listen, I'm from I'm from Memphis, so I already know
when you going to the boonies in Mississippi and all
those backwoods areas, Listen, I know you gotta go outside
and get your dinner.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yes, you already know. Boo late the canal that's over
there too. You gotta get that good old caffi right right.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And you know it's so funny. Okay, were getting on
tell pee, but you know it's so funny. I don't
even like calfic calffish, but when I come back home,
I know that's some really good like some fried calffish
with some hot sauce and some cheese and some white bread.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Cha.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Yes, yes that sounds so I'm right now, right right.
But the question so good.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But the question was, so, what do you do when
it comes to making funerals more affordable, because, like you know,
it's it's expensive bearing people off in a proper way.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
It really doesn't have to be expensive, right, I feel that.
I feel that some funeral homes feel that.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Because it's the last thing that people have to pay for,
that it has to be expensive.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
So I'm gonna always.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Because you know, I first, when you first open, you
kind of want to be underneath everyone. Bottom line, you know,
you kind of want to be a little under everybody, so.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
You you know, just so you can get business. But however,
I'm going to always have these prices.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
I'm gonna have prices for if someone say I only
have twenty two hundred dollars, what can you do for me.
I'm not gonna let them walk out of the door,
because at the end of the day, that's a light build, that's.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
A water bill, that might be a gas bill.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
So you know, I would never turn them away, even
if it's ten about ten years down the line.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
But I just keep everything. I just go by.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
I already know how many, how much bills we have
the background of the funeral home, and I know what
my funerals need to be in order for me to
still make a profit. I don't want to misuse.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
A person because they're at a vulnerable state.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
I was told before that some funeral homes make the
families use all their insurance, Like if you come in
with twenty thousand dollars, they'll make you say, hey, you
need to upgrade your casket, upgrade your.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Flowers, do this? Do that? No?
Speaker 4 (18:37):
The people them, people have to live their loved one,
specially if it's someone's husband or wife they lost each other,
you know, then you know, most of the time the
men take care of the bills and everything, and.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
They the women around.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Like in our like the rural areas, the men take
care of everything, and the women don't know how to
even do that. So why would I take if the
funeral need to be ten thousand, why would I make
her spend another ten thousand.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
That's greed, that's greedy.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I don't agree with that, right, But what can twenty
two hundred get you?
Speaker 4 (19:10):
Oh, twenty two hundred dollars here can get you can
get you a direct cremation and you can have a
little visitation here.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
And you know, yeah, you can have a visitation here. Yeah,
you can have a visitation there. And look I'm pointing
because I'm literally sitting in my office. I'm at the funeral.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
So you can have a visitor a cremation and you
can do a visitation for about two hours.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I'll print you up like maybe thirsdy off the programs.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Yeah, yeah, like programs or whatever. So that's still something.
That's still something because sometimes funeral homes will be like, well,
I can't help you. Well, that's a choice. It really
is a choice.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
It's a choice.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I guess about how money? I know, that's right, So
we can figure it out.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
No, yeah, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
You just let me what's your budget and I'll create,
you know, around your budget.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
So what's a like, what's a decent amount for a funeral.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
On my funeral?
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I mean, it just all it just all depends on
what you want, if you know, it depends the casket
you choose. If you're having your visitation in funeral, either
at my facility or at your church. If you're getting limos,
if you're getting Hearts and Carriage, if you're getting full
blown printed programs Butterfly releases. It just all depends on
(20:43):
because you're literally picking out each and everything that you want.
I mean, I had a service for about twenty thousand dollars,
but I also had a service for about seven thousand dollars,
and you can it just all depends on what the
family chooses.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
So when it comes to making money as a mortician,
and where do you see most of the money coming in.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
At, well, let me say this, when I first wanted
to be a martician, not as eight years old, but
as I got older, I never knew how much we made.
And honestly, wherever sometime like in a little small area
in Louisiana, we kind of like make less than Texas
or make less than the next state. So I never
knew how much money I made, so I never got
(21:25):
into the field because of money. However, of course, by
being my own owner of a funeral home, I make money.
I make money by having my own funeral home because
I'm not getting paid a salary. You know, the money
that I make is pretty much my money. So in
order to see your money. Either you're going to have
(21:48):
to go into a big state, a bigger city to.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Make money as a martician.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Rural areas not really so much unless they really really
need a funeral director. And in Bomber and can pay
you what like some people. That's contract work. You make
your own price list versus sitting at a funeral home
making salary. So it's two ways that what you can do.
You can work at a funeral home money through Friday work,
(22:15):
funerals and stuff, and make a salary I'll make hourly,
but you make more money by people calling on you
and say hey, I need to buy in Bomb, you
make like two fifty you know, just embombing to.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Buy it twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
So yeah, doing contract work as a funeral director and
in Bomber you make more money that way.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
And having your own funeral home for sure.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
But that's why I think you're so smart, because you
offer all the services that you need for a funeral
in house. So technically you're talking all the money true.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
And so not only that, I like I said earlier,
we have a print company. So my funeral home pays
my printing company to print my So it's like the
money just flow to keep going.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
You know, it's just stay all at home. It's just
stay at home.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Listen, y'all. I know she make money. She just gave
me a tour funeral home looking like a man.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
She had about three or four freneral roals at the
same time if she wanted to, I ain't never see.
I'm freer home big like the one you got you Now,
when I was reading your story, I mean, one of
the main reasons why I went with you because I
was so intrigued by the fact and we'll get to
this part later that you embalm your a lot of
(23:31):
your a lot of your family, including your father. But
what really made me want to have you on the
show is because you was very transparent about the challenges
that you went through when it came to you going
to school and also building your funeral home. So why
do you think funeral homes are hesitant to embrace female
morticians Because I feel like women have a hard time
with getting their market in this industry.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Well, again, from the beginning, it's about who, you know.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
A lot of funeral homes around here are family owned,
So if you're not family, they really don't want to
give you a chance.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
So it's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
How I got my start is one of my mom's
older cousin knew the owner of the funeral home that
actually hired me. So yeah, so it's very hard to
get in and then not even as being a male
or a female, it's kind of hard because for one,
you're not family, and two you have to be trained,
(24:26):
so you know that's kind of slowing down a funeral
director and in Bomber like, oh now I got to
train this person. You know that's going to slow me
down in this and that. So it's really again it's
about a choice. So that's why I created my facility
to where I have my This is my second well
since i've been open. She is my first intern, so
I can take as many interns as I would like to,
(24:50):
but I wouldn't take no more than two at a
time because you have to be an intern for a year.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
And so I want to be able to my facility.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I might not be able to keep you after you
finish your intern, but I at least want to get
your foot in the door to where you can get
license because I know how hard it was for me
to find a job for my internship.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, So do you think the stigma against female morticians
are starting to shift.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Yes, because more and more females are taking ownership of
funeral homes. I feel like women are starting to young
women at that. I'm only thirty six, so I've been
doing this since i was nineteen, So I'm starting to
see more and more graduates of women. So we can
(25:40):
do it too, like why not? And we're more compassionate.
And again, like I said earlier, I feel that the man,
the dynamic of the men in the industry and the
older generations that are still in the funeral industry, their
use of us women being.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Doing paperwork, doing secretary things, so like we're gonna take
this over booth. Yeah, we don't take it over.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I mean one thing that I read about, and I
have been hearing about this since I was a little girl,
is one of the misconceptions about morticians is the sexual
misconduct that they have with Yeah, she smelled with the
deceased bodies. Is there any true to that? Have you
heard of your story?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Oh? Wait, no, I never heard that.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
I thought you were saying, like, you know, like the
stuff that you deal in the workplace or whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
No, but no, girl, not with not on our end.
We don't play that on this ND.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah, I stories about how people like men morticians and
that's why they wanted more women to be more involved
because a lot of the male morticians do be acting
like you did hear this rumor a lot of male
morticians were having sex with the dad parties. That's what
my sources told me.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
No, well, I'm not sure on that. Maybe that end
on the other side, but we we really haven't. No,
I haven't. We haven't had any cases like that in Louisiana,
so it's not impossible.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
But that's just nasty.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
That's just nasty discussing, that's degrading. That is going against
every moral, cold, every just everything.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
So yeah, I'm not I'm not sure about that part. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
He was like, girl, what's your sources? Your sources? Now,
can you share more about what first intrigue you about
death as a child because you want to be a
mortician at the age of eight, which I was like,
very like, oh wow, this sounds like my story a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
Yeah, for sure, And I just want to say you
still can go to school.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
You're not too old to go to school.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I think I found my calling. I don't know if
I can do makeup on dead people's faces.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
No more, man, no more.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Well, I think what started it all was like I
was always fascinated with.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Death, and so I don't think I ever really I.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Kind of just kind of when I give my story,
I kind of do, like the major parts of my story.
But actually I don't even think my husband here too.
I don't even think he knows this. But I was, yeah, okay.
So I remember taking care of a bird and the
bird was alive and I tried to keep it alive
(28:30):
and it passed, and I was literally in there when
the bird passed. I tried to feed it, but it
needed its mom. So I literally got my shoe box
out of the house and I dug a grave for
it and put dirt on it, and said, my ad
father proud because I knew how to pray, but it
was just me. So from there I was, you know,
(28:52):
just fascinated with that. So that was literally the beginning
of it. And then it goes on to they had
a murder in Jennings.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Now they had a murder in Jennings.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
And I asked my grandmother, who take care of the
deceased and she said undertakers. So I'm literally going around everybody,
you know, telling everybody, and even at school I want
to be an undertaker at eight nine years old, So
nobody paid me any attention. I mean, come on, now,
a girl martician like an undertaker, Like, what do you
(29:25):
know about that? They don't even really have a lot
of people like that that does that here, So what
do you know about it? So that's why I say
it was a gift that I was born with from God.
So from there my brother I had learned to braid hair.
And my brother was like forty one or forty two,
he passed away, and they asked me if I wanted
(29:48):
to braid his hair. So this was by the time,
it was either eleven or twelve years old, I can't remember.
So I went to the Black funeral home here in
Jennings and I braided his hair. I talked to the
martician that was there and he told me. I asked him,
I said, what school, like did you go to? And
so he told me.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I looked up the number and I actually called the school.
And I'll never forget miss Patsy. She just retired last year.
MS passed to say, baby, how old are you because
you were too young? Where's your your mom? Where's your dad?
I said that my mom's is at work, but I'm calling.
I wanted to call, you know, I wanted to call
for myself.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
And she was like, okay, baby, She said, well, I'm
going to send you some catalogs and stuff and hopefully
by the time you get older, you used to have.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
The same passion.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
And she when I graduated high school in two thousand
and six and went to Marchuary School in two thousand
and six, she remembered me.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Oh what she said, because no child.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Has never called up there asking about mortuary school.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
So fast forward.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I graduated in O seven, So it's only like a
fifteen month course, so it wasn't like two three years
or nothing like that.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Strictly a trade of embalming and funeral directing.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
So you learn, you know, you and bomb bodies over
there at a certain point of your you know, schooling.
And so from from there, I ended up graduating and
I came back home. I couldn't find a job, So
from there I got a job in Lake.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Charles and I was at that facility, at that funeral
home for about about eight years. Oh and so oh
it was. Let me tell you.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
I just told my husband, I said, my boss was
so hard on me, and I love him to this
day and I give him his flowers. He was so
hard on me, and I often wonder like why would
he so hard on me? Like I did a lot
of stuff by myself. And I just literally told this
to my husband. I said, I see why he was
so hard on me, because if he was not, I
wouldn't be able to run his funeral home by myself.
(31:49):
Like I pick up I pick up all my my bodies,
I embalmed all my bodies, I see all my families,
I work all my funerals.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
I do everything on my own.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
And that's how it's trained because he always told me
you never know, you may be by yourself one day,
and you need to be able to do everything.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
On your own.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I mean that's the whole point of entrepreneurship. Like eventually
you want to hire and get support, but the beauty
of it is you need to know how to do
every single job.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Yep, just in case they quit one day. You got
to be able to pick up the slack robe.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
The show got to keep going.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
You already, you know it, so can you.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Walk us through the process of the embalming.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Yeah, I can.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
So was that hard for you when you learn at first?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Well, my dad was my first body. Yeah, so it
was it wasn't hard. I guess it didn't take me.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
It took me about maybe two months and when he
passed within the two no, let me see June July. Yeah,
within the two months that I got hired. So I
was doing other bodies of what learning other bodies my dad.
I asked my boss to just leave me in the
room with my dad. And it took me a while,
but I got it. And so you know, you you make.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Your removal, you bring them to the funeral home, you
wash them, give them their bath, I wash their hair,
and then.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
You make your incision and then you do It's like
a process. So as much blood that comes out is
the same amount of embombing fluid you want to pump in, right, okay,
because if you don't have any drainage, then you can
swell the person up because it's not enough. You know,
you're just adding more and more and more, you know,
(33:32):
liquid to them without having some kind of exit. So
it takes about maybe on a normal case, about twenty
minutes twenty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
I thought, that's what happened in that autops just takes
a while.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
And your dad before he passed away, y'all had a
conversation about it.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Right, we did. So.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
I was in Martuary School in Houston and my dad
lived in another little rural small town called Elton, which
is about fifteen minutes from the you know home.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
And I told him my dad was sick.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
He had cancer, and so I was home every weekend
trying to take care of him and you know, stay
in school and things like that. Another thing about me
that people may not know that I have a tattoo
of a skull and it says undertaker.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I have a skull on the back of my neck
real well, a little.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Both a little bowl. Oh that's cute.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I love skull, and it said undertaker. And so during
the time of my dad being sick and coming home,
I had wanted to quit several times, but I said,
if I go get this tattoo tatted on me, I
am going to finish school, no matter how hard it is.
And I prayed, I asked God, I said, just spare
my dad to see me graduate and for me for
(34:45):
him to see me make it.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
That was my prayer. And so one day my dad
and I was having a conversation.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
I said, Daddy, I said, I think that if something
happened to you, I would be able to do you.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
You know, I would be able to do your service
and and bom you.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
And so he told me, he said, if you feel
that you could, baby, he said, do by.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
All means, do me the honors. So it was no
way I couldn't.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
I couldn't not take care of my dad from the
time I went there when he passed away, I watched
him remove him. The next day I went and or
later on that day, I went in and bombed him
and I dressed him, I helped put him in the casket.
I took him to the church. I did his funeral.
I directed the cemetery. And it's like that was the
(35:30):
hardest part. The hardest part, of course, of him passing,
but the hardest part of losing my dad or missing
him is leaving him at the cemetery.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
That's the toughest part.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Because you were pretty much with him all the way.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Exactly. I could have still walked even though he was deceased.
I could have still walked in that room and say, hey, daddy,
I'm here all good morning. You know, people might think
it's crazy, but that was That's what what kept me saying.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
And then what when I broke down is when I
left him at the cemetery. That was that was that
was tough for me.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
You know, you segue into my next question because I
feel like to be like, just talking to you, I
can tell you're a very spiritual person. So one role
the spirituality and faith plays in your profession.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Oh a whole lot. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
If it wasn't like for God, I wouldn't be where
I'm at. My mind would be all over the place
because I deal with so many people and the emotions.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
And I dealt with energy.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Oh, it's a lot. It's a lot of energy.
Speaker 5 (36:29):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
People often ask me, hey, do you see do you
see any anybody?
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Do anybody follow you home?
Speaker 4 (36:36):
I had, I had maybe one or two spirits that
followed me home.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
I'm not I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not scared.
My daughter. Yeah, my daughter is.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Nine now, but she was like three or four and
she can talk like since she was like one or two,
and like clearly, and so she would run in the
room and tell me, hey, my No, she was say, mommy,
Papaul is scaring me. So I've always even my son
that I have, he's four. I showed him them pictures
(37:08):
of who my dad was, of who he was, so
they knew who to look for, so for her to say,
but she would say he's scaring me.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
And then sometime I was like, okay, well I'm gonna
go get pu part. I'm telling them to stop scaring you.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Well, some days she would be giggling and laughing and
she wouldn't run to me. So obviously it was my
dad and someone else and some door.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Sometime the door my husband can vouch.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
For this, like the closet door will be literally closed
and then it would be open. And my daughter could
not open doors. So you know, I know, dog on,
weay out and closed that door and then I was
open wide open. So I just got a pastor to
come in and pray and then it stopped. So you know,
I never seen physically saw anyone. I do have a
gift that either I have dreams about people, or I
(37:56):
can look at a person and I say.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Maybe two people lives.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
I had a friend I haven't saw in a while,
and I saw her in Albison's, which is a grocery
store here in Lake Charles, and I said, hey, girl,
I said, I said, hey, why why are you you
know you're you?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
You done got darker. I said, what's wrong?
Speaker 4 (38:16):
She was like, I really, I said, I don't know.
She was like, I don't know. I said, you look
like your kidney's is shutting down.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
That's a kidney issue.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Yeah, I said exactly. I said, you look like you
having kidney issues. Go to the doctor. Two or three
days later, she came to the house. She said, girl,
she said, I have kidney stage three kidney failure.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
So she had to have dialysis. And she was like,
I can't thank you enough because I would have never
went to the doctor. I just thought it was just.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Normal, you know, like I was having just regular like
it was my blood pressure or things like that.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
So it's a few times that either I didn't save.
Speaker 4 (38:51):
Them or after they passed, and I'm like, you know,
like I wish I would have saw them ahead of time,
so to where I could have warned them or saw them.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
So go.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
I have different gifts dreams. Sometime I have to give
people messages from my dream. I'm telling you, it's mind blowing.
So it's really with dealing with death, the spiritual realm.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Guardly, I have.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
A lot of energy, like I deal with a lot
of energy, but I also ask for God protection because
not all energy is good energy.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
How you ever came across some bad energy or like
negative energy?
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Funeral not at a funeral home. I actually this is funny. Girl.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
So me and my husband about maybe a month or
two ago, stayed in the Airbnb in Lafayet, Louisiana. Immediately,
I didn't want to tell him immediately, No, yeah, okay,
(39:54):
it's really a nice place and they have some.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Good it's a little bit bigger. It's a little bit
bigger than Charles.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
So we stayed in the Airbnb and I as soon
as I walked in, I knew somebody passed in that house.
I knew somebody had had passed away there. I was
very uncomfortable. I felt their presence. It wasn't a bad present,
but I was just uncomfortable, like they didn't want us there.
And so we stayed there and I didn't tell him
nothing until we left and he told me.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
He said, I just kind of felt like weird. I
was like, well, I did too. I didn't want to
tell you.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
I didn't want to scare you. I said, somebody died
in that house. Well, later I said, that house is
very old. Even though they remodeled it, that house was old.
That house was in the twenties, in the twenties, the thirties,
So you could you imagine how many people that didn't
pass on in that house or whatever. It was just
one particular room that I really didn't want to sleep in.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
I slept across from it. And so when I.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
Never leave bad reviews on Airbnb, so it's a way
that you can go in and speak to them directly.
So I say, hey, y'all have a ghost. I say,
y'all have a I said, y'all have y'all have a
goals here. I said, that wasn't bad, it wasn't mean.
I said, I'll never put that. I said, but this
house had to have been old, and some people had
(41:09):
to have, you know, passed here. She said she wasn't
surprised for one. And she said that that house was
built I think she said in the in the thirties.
So she said, yeah, it's the older house and there
was a lot of history there. So girl, I deal
with this stuff all the time. My family is spiritual.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
So why say nothing? Why are you stand there?
Speaker 4 (41:30):
I just because it didn't bother me. I wasn't scared.
I wasn't scared. And girl, I didn't pay for that booth.
I paid for that house.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I paid for that. So we're gonna.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Playing with their money. Yeah, okay, we don't get no refound.
We are staying.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
We're staying right, yep.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
So how has been a mortician shaped away you view
life and death?
Speaker 3 (42:03):
It is so sharp. I was telling this to someone
the other day.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
I said, normally, at the beginning of my career, about
sixteen years ago, almost seventeen, I can actually they had
a season. They had a season of older people dying.
They will normally die at the end of the year.
They had a season of murder suicide that would be
kind of like in the middle of the year summertime.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
You had a season of children passing. So it was
kind of like a season. It was a.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Season of things, of deaths that would happen constantly. One
year'll be this way, it might flip the next day,
but you can put your finger on it that it
was going to be a certain age bracket at that
time of the year. Now death has no time, it
has no color, it has no age anymore, it has
no time of the year.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Is anything.
Speaker 4 (42:53):
They had eight fitting all deaths and gennings for the past.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
Two weeks and they all under the age of forty. Yeah,
so's no, it's no age on this anymore. Mmmm.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
You make a good point because when I remember when
I was younger, it was only old people die. But
now as I'm getting older, I'm like, everybody.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Died, everybody. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 4 (43:18):
So to answer your question, it has no.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
It has no.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
It's not a season anymore of different depths. It's just
mixed in.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
It's like a gumbo.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
It's it's everybody at any time, all type of ways.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Do you feel like you live your life to the
fullest because of your profession?
Speaker 3 (43:40):
Now I do. I do. I went on my first
airplane trip in.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Twenty I don't remember twenty twenty. Wait, hold on twenty, Taylor,
my daughter was born in fifteen, so in twenty seventeen
or twenty I think it was twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen.
That was my That was my first plane ride, and
I went to clock Denver, Colorado, with my friend to
(44:09):
meet them with my friends at a cabin.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
So that was my first time and ever since then,
I need I have to have at least two plane trips.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
A year going somewhere. We didn't input a cruise. We
try to take the kids somewhere because life is so short.
It's like I can't even put it in words of
how short, Like short is not even the right word.
Like it's really like literally one day you're here and
the next day you're gone.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Have you ever did a funeral or embomb somebody that
was difficult because besides like your father and I know
you do a lot of your family and friends. Has
there ever been a situation where you were just like
it was too much?
Speaker 4 (44:50):
Yeah, it was recently. So they had a lady that
we have gotten really close. So I do these events
in my in my city in Jennings, I do a
Christmas jamboree in December and I this year we gave
away I think close to two hundred and fifty tois
(45:12):
to each child or three hundred. We had about three
hundred and fifty people there at the park.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
And you the mayor of Genesis, Baby, you're doing everything.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
Everything, not only that somebody told me. That's another story.
Somebody say, girl, you need to run for mayor. I say, baby,
I don't know nothing about politics, so I'm doing do politicians.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
So I think you'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
But so three years ago, so this was my third year.
This is going to be the fourth year. So three
years ago I had asked. I was just asking just
people for donations, and this lady, she was like, well,
we're doing something too. I said, well, let's just merge.
Let's do it together. So we've been doing it together
ever since. She was at my event on December fifteenth
(45:58):
and she said, hey.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Girl, she said, I'm going I'm gonna come. I'm gonna
come by there. I need to talk to you about
some stuff. So this was a Sunday.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
She came on a Tuesday, and she just wanted to
talk about you know. What happened was the process. She
picked out her own casket. She picked she told me
her favorite flowers, her favorite.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Color was red.
Speaker 4 (46:19):
You know, we just had a conversation. We laughed and
everything else. And that Saturday, which was four or five
days later, she we was at a party, was at
a Christmas party, and so I waved at her at it.
I normally hugg I'm a hugger. I normally hugged. But
I was in a rush to leave. I had enough
(46:40):
of the party. I was ready to go. I was hungry,
so I waved at her, but she smiled and waved.
Literally ten hours later she died. She died December twenty second,
so that was how did she die? She had a
massive heart attack.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Wow, yeah, she had a massive heart attack, And you know,
it was just that.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
Really that was really like my dad and I have buried,
like my best friend's family, my other my aunts, my cousins.
That they're losing her was one of the hardest things
of my career since I opened the funeral home.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
That was hard.
Speaker 4 (47:19):
That was very hard for me. I cried almost every day.
But I knew like her funeral. I had her clothes
on display, I had pictures, I had flowers galore. We
actually she was my I had a backdrop in the
back of her casket. They're not used to seeing a
funeral like that. First off, wearing red at a funeral
(47:43):
is taboo. So maybe we all had red on. I
had a red dress on, she had red on.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Everywhere. Everybody wrote red. So that was broke. That taboo
was broken.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
You could wear any color that doesn't normally say it's like,
you're happy that the deceases is dead, and I'm like,
you know, if red was our favorite color, let's celebrate that.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
We're not going to change that.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
That that is something that was manipulated in my in
our minds, you.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Know, being pink with a buzz down.
Speaker 6 (48:09):
So oh baby, I'm here for it was everything was
so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
It was something.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
It was the start of being able to show people
that how a funeral can be. It can be non traditional,
it could be all let's celebrate the life of her.
So yeah, I've had plenty. I've buried a lot of
friends and family members, but recently, within the last two
(48:42):
three weeks, it was hard.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
That was a hard.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
What lessons do you think we can learn about living
from how we honor the dead, because I feel like
a lot of people don't respect the dead in some cases.
Speaker 4 (48:55):
I'm really not sure it really changed. It changed some
people for the better, and it's changed some people for
the worst. Some people really be like, you know what,
you really live, yolo, you only live once, So let
me go ahead and let me open my business or
let me go ahead and let me take that trip,
Let me get on, let me get on the boat, you.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Know, things like that, let me let me take a
cruise or something.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
So I really think that they get motivated, especially if
they pass away abruptly and not you know, like someone
that had cancer or some kind of issue that they
was dealing with for a long period. To me, when
you have an illness, you can kind of better prepare
your emotions to lose that person.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
You know, kind of.
Speaker 4 (49:40):
It's still going to be hard, but you could kind
of prepare versus someone getting killed, having a massive heart attack,
a stroke, or you know, things that are shocking.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
So, yeah, I'm just curious do you feel like, because
I know you're a spiritual person, do you feel like
when you disrespect the dad come back to you?
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Most definitely? I think so. I think so. And the
thing about it is.
Speaker 4 (50:07):
Like, why be disrespectful to them when you're coming there
to respect them passing? Like what's you know, like, what
is the point of you even coming if you're going
to be disrespectful? You know, like what are you coming
to the visitation and funeral for? It's a little bit
different here. If they didn't like you or whatever. They're
not coming. They're not coming, So we really kind of
(50:30):
don't deal with the disrespect because we can pull up
to your house.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
You literally live around the corner. We got three streets.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
We got three streets here across town and stuff, so
we got three streets, were coming to your house.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
So we're almost finished. So what changes would you like
to see in the funeral industry in the next five
to ten years. What I would like to see is,
of course, more women, more celebrations of life. Uh more
just celebrating that person in the way that they lived,
like if they were sassy, if they wore a wig that.
Speaker 3 (51:11):
Was towed up or whatever.
Speaker 4 (51:13):
Hey, that's how she That's that was her, that's how
you know what I'm saying. That's I want to see
more of people representing the deceased as how they were.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
If they would walk through the door, if it was
a holiday. That's that's what I want to see.
Speaker 4 (51:27):
I want to see more you know, black and white
women in this industry, and a lot of black working
for white firms and a lot of white for people.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
Working for black firms. Let's let's mix.
Speaker 4 (51:39):
That's my whole thing here in Jennings we have a
train track, and the train track separate us. So when
you cross the train track going downtown, that's as black people.
When you cross it going uptown as white people, We're
we're literally.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
So it's still segregated.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
Yeah, we still we're not not legally separated. Segregated is
just that's just how we are. Like we have I
have black cemeteries and we have white cemeteries. Yeah, yeah,
I'm so. I forgot that you're not from around here,
so we literally have.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
I remember I was working at a white firm and
they had this lady.
Speaker 4 (52:14):
She was from Florida, and she was like, well, we
was at a cemetery and I told her.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
I said, well, on this side you have the name
of THEID. I gave it the name of.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
The cemetery, and then on the left side you have
another and I gave it a name. She was like, well,
why is it two separate parts. I said, well, this
is black people and this is white people.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
She was like what She was.
Speaker 4 (52:30):
Like, y'all segregated around. Yes, we are to a certain extent,
because that's just how it was and that's just how
things were. So I'm trying to break that barrier by
I have my Christmas events and certain events in a
certain area in Jennie to where we all meet up
(52:52):
in one spot. So I have a variety Black, white,
Mexican have different races. Like I don't care what color
you are, you can come here. I'm gonna take care
of you the same way, the same way. So that's
why I put you know that on my business card
and I'm looking at it. Guiding hearts, honoring legacies, servicing
(53:14):
all faiths, family and people. So you know, it's like
I want people to know that it's okay to use
a black funeral home. Like if you're white, it's okay.
We're gonna treat you with the utmost respect.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
Do you get a lot of white I actually had three.
I had three out of forty four people. So baby,
that three. I was told I would never get any
white people.
Speaker 4 (53:41):
So that three means the you know, that means a
lot to me and I you know, I've been praying that.
I don't let me say this. You have to be
careful what you pray for. I never pray for someone.
I don't like when people passed away, I really don't.
But when my prayer is when that time comes, that
they think about Martuary's Center first and going to bring
me that family. That's going to show, that's going to
(54:05):
let people know that I handle them in the same
way no matter what color you are. So that's really
I really want to see diverse diversity in the funeral industry.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
Not to be messy, but do you know if the
white white funeral homes do they serve as black people?
Speaker 3 (54:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (54:24):
They do. It's not it's let me let me say this.
It's not that they don't service us. We don't go
because they are a white firm. We're gonna they people
feel that a white can't take care of a black
and a black can't take care.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
Of a white.
Speaker 4 (54:39):
That was the stigma back then because, like I was
saying earlier, they felt that white people with there, they
turned darker as they get you know, as the days
go by, Well, everybody get darker because you're deceased.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
We all at the end of the day, at the
end of the day. So yeah, that's that's the reasoning.
Speaker 2 (54:59):
But what will happen the white person is buried in
a white cemetery? Is that possible?
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Yeah? You can.
Speaker 4 (55:05):
Again, it's just we don't because we have a right
that's how it been.
Speaker 3 (55:11):
That's how nobody changed that. So it's not like they say,
it's not like.
Speaker 4 (55:17):
It's racial around here, like the owner of the cemetery saying,
we don't want no black people here.
Speaker 3 (55:22):
It's not that.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
It's just we don't go because we got our own.
Y'all told us we couldn't go back then, so we're
not going right now. We made our own and that's
where we're going.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
I'm coming to visit you, baby. I don't like that
second shit slavery child.
Speaker 3 (55:41):
We passed that five.
Speaker 4 (55:45):
Yeah, girl, we still deal with, you know, racism and stuff.
Like I was telling you earlier, like it was hard.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
For me to get this building. Like this building, the
funeral home was a church and it's in the middle.
Speaker 4 (55:56):
Like we have a major highway, Highway twenty six, and
literally about I say, maybe thirty feet to each side
of the funeral home is a house. I have a
black lady on the right side, and I have a
white family. They moved when I wanted to buy this building.
Long story short, I had to go through zoning. They
they piled up in there on me. And what I
(56:18):
say they is the members here was all white people,
and so I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Speaker 3 (56:24):
I literally did not have any investors.
Speaker 4 (56:26):
I didn't have nobody holding my hand telling me what
to do. I figured this out on my own with
the help of my husband. Like, no investors, nothing. So
I went in for zoning, and the zoning board the
neighbors came got up and they was like, well, we
think that if it's a funeral home, it's going to
(56:46):
cause traffic jams, it's going to be a disturbance, just
all kind of crazy stuff. So they did not pass me,
but me, you can't tell me no one time, because
I'm going back again.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
So I went back again, but I went back with
my own force.
Speaker 4 (56:59):
I have people that's city councilmen and sent you know,
that's on the boards of different things around here. And
so when I went back, they end up passing me,
but they passed me with hey, you need to put
a thirty foot fence around your funeral home because we
don't want to see you know, if we passed it,
you have to put a fence where They thought that
that was going to stop me by putting a fence,
(57:21):
but they didn't know that the state I needed to
put a fence up anyway for protection so people wouldn't
see me putting bringing bodies in the church.
Speaker 3 (57:28):
Right.
Speaker 4 (57:28):
So, so once I purchased the building, the people on
my left side, the family that was there. I bought
the building, but it took me a while to get
the rest of the money to remodel. So nothing was happening.
It was so nothing was happening for months. So that
(57:50):
family got their real estate agent to call me and say, hey, girl,
I got somebody want are you Are you trying to
sell your building? I have someone that want to buy
your billing? And I said, oh no, man, renovation starts
next week. Literally next week. Them people had a for
sale sign. They sold that house in a month, less
(58:10):
than a month.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
They left. They left, But God always.
Speaker 4 (58:15):
Removes people that is not of him or is not
going out with the old end with the new. My
new neighbors, their white family. They're from Mississippi. The best
neighbors I can ask for.
Speaker 3 (58:27):
What do you need?
Speaker 4 (58:29):
I need my mailbox? Can you put my mailbox together?
Oh yeah, we got the paperwork to dig and do
what needs to be done.
Speaker 3 (58:36):
They come.
Speaker 4 (58:37):
They helped my husband of motar grass is on four
acres of land. That's a lot of grass over here.
Speaker 3 (58:41):
Yeah, so yeah, I can't. I can't think God.
Speaker 4 (58:47):
Enough for always putting the right people around me, because
that's my prayer, like put the right people around me.
Speaker 3 (58:54):
So but you know, I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
I'm so happy that I really enjoying this conversation. So
two more questions. So, what advice would you give to
young girls or any of our listeners that's interested in
becoming morticians?
Speaker 3 (59:11):
So go for it. Don't be scared.
Speaker 4 (59:15):
What may be hard for someone may not be hard
for you in fact. So yeah, so always try something
out first and see if it's your thing.
Speaker 3 (59:24):
If it's not your thing, then don't do it.
Speaker 4 (59:26):
Marthuary work being a martian or funeral director is not
for everybody. You don't just wake up and wanting to
be a martician. It has to be placing. It is
a complete gift. You deal with so many you first off,
you see so many things we're dealing with, how the
person passed away, You deal with different smells, different you know,
family members, somebody might you know, be argumentative fighting, different
(59:51):
things you deal with. And so I say, if you
have it and wanting to wanted to do this, for
so long.
Speaker 3 (59:58):
Go ahead and do it. Find you a great.
Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Teacher that can teach you the ins and outs of
the business, the industry. I have people like find me,
like how you found me, Like they find me and
inbox me and I just tell them to call me
and I tell him anything you need, you called me,
So I will guide you as much as I can.
I will help you with whatever you need. But just
(01:00:24):
please just go for it. Don't be afraid and just
go for it.
Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
You know what, Maybe I'll come down there and we
can do I could be your intern for a day.
You can teach me how to.
Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
You can come.
Speaker 4 (01:00:37):
Girls, come on, just to put a little thing like
like a little just a little extra thing.
Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
I have my daughter. My daughter is nine and Taylor,
she picks up bodies with me. Wow, she picks up
bodies with me. She said, Mom, I don't know if
I want to be a bomber. That's a little bit
too much.
Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Because she she saw and she was like, I don't no,
but she I think she has the funeral director inside
of greeting and meeting and talking with people and making
the removals. So I have her. I have my little
cousin as my assistant. Uh, she works here every day.
Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
My mom come.
Speaker 4 (01:01:14):
I retired my mom a few I think in twenty nineteen.
She retired and she's spalled. She take care of my
four year old son and she get whatever she wants.
She comes, she clean.
Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
So I really I employed.
Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
You know, whenever I need my family, I just employed
my family, like I am a family business.
Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Literally.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Yeah, I know you're getting that chicken baby. I can't
wait to come to your fr.
Speaker 5 (01:01:40):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
And last but not least, if you can talk to
your eight year old self who first dreamed of being
an undertaker, what would you say to her.
Speaker 4 (01:01:50):
You're going to do it. Yeah, You're going to do it.
Everything that you dreamed of is going to come to pass.
Because I go back back, way back of my childhood
and where I was at my teenage years and my
early twenties up until now, and I'm like, it was
nobody regard like. So you know, I would really tell
(01:02:11):
myself just keep going to keep like literally what I'm
doing now, just keep the faith.
Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
It's gonna come to pass because it wasn't easy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Oh, I already know, I already know. I'm so excited
that we connected. This was a really good conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Yes it was. I had fun, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Yes, yes, me living out my dream my childhood dreams
and being a mortician through you to the listeners. If
you have any questions, comments, and concerns, please make sure
to email me a hello at the pshgpodcast dot com.
And this was a perfect example of why you should
share your storyline because you never know how it could
be somebody else's lifeline. Absolutely so until next time. Everyone, Later,
(01:02:51):
you're gonna say bye.
Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
Oh bye y'all. Look, I'm waving like they can see me. Bye, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
God blast, Okay, have blast now that we've got some
saints from a call. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a
production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
(01:03:21):
you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe
and rate the show, and you can connect with me
on social media at the PHG podcast
Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before
we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that
the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those
of the host and guests and are intended for educational
and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is
off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can
be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to
(00:22):
celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color,
providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will
be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a
reminder that tough times don't last, but professional Homegirls do
enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey, professional Homegirls, I hope all is cute. Ishigara Ebine here,
and I am so excited about this week's episode because
we're diving into a story that's truly one of a kind.
My guest shares her incredible journey of discovering, at just
eight years old that she wanted to be a mortician, y'all.
(01:09):
From being drawn to the death industry at such a
young age to navigating the challenges of pursuing a career
most people shy away from She opens up about the beauty, curiosity,
and sense a purpose she's found in her work. So
get ready for an eye opening conversation that would challenge
how you see life, death, and a unique calling to
(01:29):
serve others in their most vulnerable moments. I'm a mortician
starts now. All right, to my guests, thank you so
much for being on the show. How you doing? How
of course, how you doing? How you feeling.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I'm feeling great.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
I'm feeling great. I'm excited about this podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Girl, Yes, yes, listen.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I was telling my guests y'all that I've been wanting
to have a morticianal show for a very long time.
And the reason why is because I don't think I
ever shared this with my audience. But I used to
want to be a mortician when I was a little girl.
Yeah right, But the reason why is because I always
love makeup, right, I know they're gonna be like girl,
and I never wanted to be a makeup artist, so
(02:12):
and I was never really afraid of like scary shit.
So I was like, I could just be a mortician.
But I never saw black women in this field.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
What yeah, wow, we have a few like in my community.
I'm like in we have parishes in Louisiana versus counties.
So in the parish of jeff Davis Parish, I am
the first African American woman to become a martician, so
I'm the first for that first one to open my
(02:42):
own funeral home in this area. So yeah, we don't
have too many. I can count maybe maybe four within
the two parishes. It's not too many of black women
that does this.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
That's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like in certain fields,
especially in the death feel or the funeral industry feel,
I feel like there's not a lot of black women
that are in this space when I was growing up.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Right right, for sure, I'm surprised up there in New York.
I had a lady she my same article I guess
that you have read that you read, and she contacted
me from New York. I can't remember her name, and
you know, she was just cheering me on. She was like,
I've been doing this for like she was like thirty
five years in and she was like.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
They don't have too many of us because it's very challenging.
It's a male dominant industry and a lot of women
if you're not strong minded, strong headed, like it's not,
you cannot be in this industry because you know a
lot of men still feel that we should be behind
the desk right.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Well, So I was born in New York, but I
was raised in Memphis, so I definitely an't see no
black female morticians in the South.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Wow, wow, did you when you was growing up?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
No, exactly, I'm not saying like you right across female
morticians on a daily basis.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
No, not when we were younger, but as sure as
I've gotten older. We have a few where I live
in like Charles, My funeral is in Jenn's. I'm from Genis,
so it's about twenty five minutes from there to here.
And we have about two other women that's actually licensed marticians.
Because you can be a licensed funeral director and not.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Being in bomber and you're just a funeral director.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
So but to be a martician, you are in bomber
and a funeral director in your license.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So no, Like going back.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
To what you said, like, No, all I saw was
men looking like Frankenstein's in suits.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
That's what I'm saying. But when I was doing my
research and how I discover you is I was going
down a rabbit hole because I'm like, oh, that it
would be kind of cool because I never spoke to
a mortician before, and I'm like, oh wow, it's a
lot of brownies that are morticians now, like y'all like everywhere?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
No for real, no, for real? Yes, I completely agree.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, So can you talk about the historical significance of
black owned funeral homes because I thought, like, funeral homes
play a really big they're a really big part of
our community.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Correct, So we and Jennings we're about maybe maybe nine
thousand people, And yeah, we have maybe nine thousand people,
if not less than that.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Girl, I'm not sure. We're very rule.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
So they had a funeral home years ago in the eighties,
I know that was here.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Oh girl, that's another story for another day.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
And my funeral home is actually in a I don't
want to say a white community, but this is a
white neighborhood. I'm off of a major highway and so
I had to go through a zoning in order to
get here.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
And they they bad at me. All you're going to
do is cause traffic in our area and this and
that they did not want me here at all.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
So that's the look that. That's another story. But to
answer your questions, like in Jennings, we had a black
we had two black funeral homes, but it was kind
of like a branch off of their funeral homes that
was in a bigger city. But to have a funeral
funeral home here, about seven or eight years ago, this
family from Lake Charles came out here to Jennings and
(06:21):
saw a need to have a funeral home because before
they came about eight years ago, we had a funeral
home out here in Jennings that was closed for about
maybe ten years before that, so we really didn't have
like we have. We have like two white funeral homes here.
And let me also say this, of course I'm black owned,
(06:46):
but I am diverse. So if you look at funeral
home names around here, they always named their last names
the funeral home after their last name, so you'll know,
like around here you have Matthew and Son, so you
know that's white. Here you had fine Dale's. You know
that's a black funeral home. You have Cambri that's the
(07:06):
black funeral home. Megaz that's a white funeral home. I
didn't want I didn't want to be Oh that's a
blue black funeral home. I'm not going because here the
taboo is, you know, like black people can't take care
of white people, so they stick like black stay with black,
and white stay with white, which is not true.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
The taboo here white people think.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
That they die on today on a Tuesday, and they're
going to be black as us by Thursday.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
And that's not true. So they so you know us here.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I don't know how it is up there in New York,
but when if somebody died today, we're not bearing that
person this Saturday.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
We wait until next week until Auntie.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Grandma and all of them from down Yon to come
back home, you know. So that's I'm trying to change that.
I'm trying to change that narrative. I'm trying to get
out of.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Boring traditional funeral rules. I hate to stay like that.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
But for those who like to do traditional funerals, I'm
there for it. But the ones that want to have
a celebration of life.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I'm here for that as well. It's kind of change.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I feel like you we turning up in the funeral halls. Baby.
You ever seen that video of that corpse? They had
the dead guy in the club as his I feel like.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Is in New Orleans.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Is a funeral home in New Orleans that have a
lady martician is there and she does that, so that's
the closest funeral home. They're kind of like, they're not
where we are here. They're not ready for that see
through snow white casket yet I'm trying. I'm trying to
get somebody in there, but they haven't made it to
that point.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
But it's baby steps in this area.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
How did you feel about that when you saw that
video going viral because that was a bit much like
I don't want to be in the club. Turn it up.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
So that's not mine, it's not my first time seeing that, Like,
like that is the truth. Yeah, that was a true
definition of putting that person out how they were, and
I agree with that to a certain extent. They also
had a man that played the saxophone and they had
him standing.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Up with a saxophone, so he stood up.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
He didn't even have a casket around him, so that's
how he was for his visitation.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
So not to cut you.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Off, but explain what you mean by putting them out
there by how they were.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
So if they were a clubb a drinker like if like,
be true to who that person was. If that person
never wore a dress, don't put a dress on that person.
If they wore a T shirt and some jeans, well,
that's how you you be true to that person. That's
that's what I'm That's what I'm speaking about, so versus
(09:51):
the traditional way. If a man past, they have to
be in a suit versus being in a baseball a
jersey and jeans.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
How we're normally seeing them.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
So they pretty much uh and I say they the families,
the traditional families, you know, want a lady feel that
they should be in a dress, like go o forbid?
When when that time come from my mom, I would
never put in a dress because my mamma don wear dresses.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
My mama loves brown, So I'm going to dress her
how my mom was here right like walking around.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
So that's what I'm saying about being true to who
that person was while they were living and follow it
while they're in death.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Right, you know, nothing get off subject. But my cousin
and I we was having a conversation about people who
live in rural towns and it's just so funny because
I knew you was in Louisiana, but I didn't know
if it was in a smaller town in Louisiana. So
being at you because I feel like you are very
open to a lot of things, and I feel like
when you live in rural towns, it's not as invited
(10:56):
when it comes to certain dolls or things of that nature.
So you never wanted to branch out and go somewhere else,
to like a bigger city or something.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
No, not at all from country. I'm a country girl. No,
so from Jennings. I can literally show you my book. Girl.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
I wrote everything down in my senior book. I said
I wanted to live in Lake Charles, work at Lake Charles,
and then later on come back to Jennings and open
my funeral home. So I did the city life in Houston.
I had a mortuary school was in Houston. It's called
Commonwealth Institute of Funeral Service.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
So I lived there for fifteen months.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
So I didn't like it. It was just too many people.
I didn't really care for it. I'm used to getting
in my car. It takes me five minutes to go
to Walmart, not twenty five minutes to get to a Walmart.
So I moved back and I ended up living in
Lake Charles, Louisiana, and I still live there. I commute
twenty five minutes every day from my funeral home to
(11:57):
my home, and so yeah, it's it's a bit different.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Now, what are some myths about death and funerals that
you encounter in the community, Because I feel like as
Black people, we still haven't. I feel like we can
do a lot better when it comes to death planning,
death care, or even funeral arrangements. Like I feel like
we still have a hard time with getting things done
and timely matter. Like you said, like we shouldn't be
burying people two weeks later, No, don't put me on ice.
(12:31):
I need to get put you underground for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I think that at this point people are.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
I can't say, like the older generation is dying off,
and that generation is the ones.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
That had the little insurance policies on everybody.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
So what I try to do is every month I
try to bring light to the community. I have events
that goes on here at my funeral home on a Sunday,
I tried to get different people, different speakers to come
speak about about two months ago, I had four black
lawyer women, lawyers that came in that specialized in trust, wills, disability,
(13:22):
just different things, just to bring knowledge to them. And
so I had about twenty people here, and that's twenty
people that I know that I touched because you know,
they need to know, hey, what exactly needs to happen
before I passed away and what needs to be done.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So from I also do I had a pre.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Need insurance, which is when you come in and pre
plan your service. I'm an insurance agent for an insurance
company that I write through my own funeral home.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
That's right, girl own.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
We own a printing company. My husband and I own
a print company. I print all my programs, so it's
like everything go hand.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Go hand in hand. We don't have everything is in house,
so I know.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Yeah, And I noticed that when I worked for other
funeral homes, they would just come to the funeral home,
but they would have to go out and get flowers,
or get programs or get personal things, custom things done.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
For their funerals.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
And I was like, no, I want to have a
funeral home that does everything. So when you come here,
the price I give you, the price you pay, everything's
going to be done. You can go home and work
on the obituary, right right, I made it a little easier.
But getting back to your question, I try to bring
light to my family is about insurance.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
If you have insurance, check to.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
See if your beneficiary, if the beneficial area is deceased,
you need to change it.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
To someone that's the life because that's going to be
an issue once you pass away. So I try to
ge give.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Them knowledge so they won't have to come in here
and have no idea what to do or what's going on.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
But how do you make funerals more affordable for families?
Because I also feel like a lot of times we
just don't have the money. But I imagine how challenging
that is on your end.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Right, Well, let me say this.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I decided I've worked for four different funeral homes in
four in two different areas, three different areas. So I
worked in Lake Charles, Louisiana, I worked in Crowley, Louisiana,
and I worked in Oppollusis, Louisiana. So these are about
two hours apart from each other, and.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
So and tho it's not from Louisiana, Like what's the
difference between each one?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Like Lake Charles is more of a bigger city, Oppulusis
is a little bit smaller than Lake Charles Is a
little like it's so country around here.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Like it's so.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Country around here. So every where, I'm telling you, every
they think of Louisiana.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
They think of New Orleans. We we don't have nothing
to do with it. We're so far.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
We're like three hours three and a half hours.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Away from them.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
So what you see and the food and everything else,
I have nothing on us.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Boom, Listen, I know y'all go outside and get that meat. Baby,
I know that need.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Me fresh fresh boot fresh seafood. F I already know, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Listen, I'm from I'm from Memphis, so I already know
when you going to the boonies in Mississippi and all
those backwoods areas, Listen, I know you gotta go outside
and get your dinner.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yes, you already know. Boo late the canal that's over
there too. You gotta get that good old caffi right right.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And you know it's so funny. Okay, were getting on
tell pee, but you know it's so funny. I don't
even like calfic calffish, but when I come back home,
I know that's some really good like some fried calffish
with some hot sauce and some cheese and some white bread.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Cha.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Yes, yes that sounds so I'm right now, right right.
But the question so good.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
But the question was, so, what do you do when
it comes to making funerals more affordable, because, like you know,
it's it's expensive bearing people off in a proper way.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
It really doesn't have to be expensive, right, I feel that.
I feel that some funeral homes feel that.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Because it's the last thing that people have to pay for,
that it has to be expensive.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
So I'm gonna always.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Because you know, I first, when you first open, you
kind of want to be underneath everyone. Bottom line, you know,
you kind of want to be a little under everybody, so.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
You you know, just so you can get business. But however,
I'm going to always have these prices.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
I'm gonna have prices for if someone say I only
have twenty two hundred dollars, what can you do for me.
I'm not gonna let them walk out of the door,
because at the end of the day, that's a light build, that's.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
A water bill, that might be a gas bill.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
So you know, I would never turn them away, even
if it's ten about ten years down the line.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
But I just keep everything. I just go by.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
I already know how many, how much bills we have
the background of the funeral home, and I know what
my funerals need to be in order for me to
still make a profit. I don't want to misuse.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
A person because they're at a vulnerable state.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
I was told before that some funeral homes make the
families use all their insurance, Like if you come in
with twenty thousand dollars, they'll make you say, hey, you
need to upgrade your casket, upgrade your.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Flowers, do this? Do that? No?
Speaker 4 (18:37):
The people them, people have to live their loved one,
specially if it's someone's husband or wife they lost each other,
you know, then you know, most of the time the
men take care of the bills and everything, and.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
They the women around.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Like in our like the rural areas, the men take
care of everything, and the women don't know how to
even do that. So why would I take if the
funeral need to be ten thousand, why would I make
her spend another ten thousand.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
That's greed, that's greedy.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I don't agree with that, right, But what can twenty
two hundred get you?
Speaker 4 (19:10):
Oh, twenty two hundred dollars here can get you can
get you a direct cremation and you can have a
little visitation here.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
And you know, yeah, you can have a visitation here. Yeah,
you can have a visitation there. And look I'm pointing
because I'm literally sitting in my office. I'm at the funeral.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
So you can have a visitor a cremation and you
can do a visitation for about two hours.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I'll print you up like maybe thirsdy off the programs.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Yeah, yeah, like programs or whatever. So that's still something.
That's still something because sometimes funeral homes will be like, well,
I can't help you. Well, that's a choice. It really
is a choice.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
It's a choice.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I guess about how money? I know, that's right, So
we can figure it out.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
No, yeah, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
You just let me what's your budget and I'll create,
you know, around your budget.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
So what's a like, what's a decent amount for a funeral.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
On my funeral?
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I mean, it just all it just all depends on
what you want, if you know, it depends the casket
you choose. If you're having your visitation in funeral, either
at my facility or at your church. If you're getting limos,
if you're getting Hearts and Carriage, if you're getting full
blown printed programs Butterfly releases. It just all depends on
(20:43):
because you're literally picking out each and everything that you want.
I mean, I had a service for about twenty thousand dollars,
but I also had a service for about seven thousand dollars,
and you can it just all depends on what the
family chooses.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
So when it comes to making money as a mortician,
and where do you see most of the money coming in.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
At, well, let me say this, when I first wanted
to be a martician, not as eight years old, but
as I got older, I never knew how much we made.
And honestly, wherever sometime like in a little small area
in Louisiana, we kind of like make less than Texas
or make less than the next state. So I never
knew how much money I made, so I never got
(21:25):
into the field because of money. However, of course, by
being my own owner of a funeral home, I make money.
I make money by having my own funeral home because
I'm not getting paid a salary. You know, the money
that I make is pretty much my money. So in
order to see your money. Either you're going to have
(21:48):
to go into a big state, a bigger city to.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Make money as a martician.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Rural areas not really so much unless they really really
need a funeral director. And in Bomber and can pay
you what like some people. That's contract work. You make
your own price list versus sitting at a funeral home
making salary. So it's two ways that what you can do.
You can work at a funeral home money through Friday work,
(22:15):
funerals and stuff, and make a salary I'll make hourly,
but you make more money by people calling on you
and say hey, I need to buy in Bomb, you
make like two fifty you know, just embombing to.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Buy it twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
So yeah, doing contract work as a funeral director and
in Bomber you make more money that way.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
And having your own funeral home for sure.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
But that's why I think you're so smart, because you
offer all the services that you need for a funeral
in house. So technically you're talking all the money true.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
And so not only that, I like I said earlier,
we have a print company. So my funeral home pays
my printing company to print my So it's like the
money just flow to keep going.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
You know, it's just stay all at home. It's just
stay at home.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Listen, y'all. I know she make money. She just gave
me a tour funeral home looking like a man.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
She had about three or four freneral roals at the
same time if she wanted to, I ain't never see.
I'm freer home big like the one you got you Now,
when I was reading your story, I mean, one of
the main reasons why I went with you because I
was so intrigued by the fact and we'll get to
this part later that you embalm your a lot of
(23:31):
your a lot of your family, including your father. But
what really made me want to have you on the
show is because you was very transparent about the challenges
that you went through when it came to you going
to school and also building your funeral home. So why
do you think funeral homes are hesitant to embrace female
morticians Because I feel like women have a hard time
with getting their market in this industry.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Well, again, from the beginning, it's about who, you know.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
A lot of funeral homes around here are family owned,
So if you're not family, they really don't want to
give you a chance.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
So it's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
How I got my start is one of my mom's
older cousin knew the owner of the funeral home that
actually hired me. So yeah, so it's very hard to
get in and then not even as being a male
or a female, it's kind of hard because for one,
you're not family, and two you have to be trained,
(24:26):
so you know that's kind of slowing down a funeral
director and in Bomber like, oh now I got to
train this person. You know that's going to slow me
down in this and that. So it's really again it's
about a choice. So that's why I created my facility
to where I have my This is my second well
since i've been open. She is my first intern, so
I can take as many interns as I would like to,
(24:50):
but I wouldn't take no more than two at a
time because you have to be an intern for a year.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
And so I want to be able to my facility.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I might not be able to keep you after you
finish your intern, but I at least want to get
your foot in the door to where you can get
license because I know how hard it was for me
to find a job for my internship.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, So do you think the stigma against female morticians
are starting to shift.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Yes, because more and more females are taking ownership of
funeral homes. I feel like women are starting to young
women at that. I'm only thirty six, so I've been
doing this since i was nineteen, So I'm starting to
see more and more graduates of women. So we can
(25:40):
do it too, like why not? And we're more compassionate.
And again, like I said earlier, I feel that the man,
the dynamic of the men in the industry and the
older generations that are still in the funeral industry, their
use of us women being.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Doing paperwork, doing secretary things, so like we're gonna take
this over booth. Yeah, we don't take it over.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I mean one thing that I read about, and I
have been hearing about this since I was a little girl,
is one of the misconceptions about morticians is the sexual
misconduct that they have with Yeah, she smelled with the
deceased bodies. Is there any true to that? Have you
heard of your story?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Oh? Wait, no, I never heard that.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
I thought you were saying, like, you know, like the
stuff that you deal in the workplace or whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
No, but no, girl, not with not on our end.
We don't play that on this ND.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah, I stories about how people like men morticians and
that's why they wanted more women to be more involved
because a lot of the male morticians do be acting
like you did hear this rumor a lot of male
morticians were having sex with the dad parties. That's what
my sources told me.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
No, well, I'm not sure on that. Maybe that end
on the other side, but we we really haven't. No,
I haven't. We haven't had any cases like that in Louisiana,
so it's not impossible.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
But that's just nasty.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
That's just nasty discussing, that's degrading. That is going against
every moral, cold, every just everything.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
So yeah, I'm not I'm not sure about that part. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
He was like, girl, what's your sources? Your sources? Now,
can you share more about what first intrigue you about
death as a child because you want to be a
mortician at the age of eight, which I was like,
very like, oh wow, this sounds like my story a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
Yeah, for sure, And I just want to say you
still can go to school.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
You're not too old to go to school.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I think I found my calling. I don't know if
I can do makeup on dead people's faces.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
No more, man, no more.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Well, I think what started it all was like I
was always fascinated with.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Death, and so I don't think I ever really I.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Kind of just kind of when I give my story,
I kind of do, like the major parts of my story.
But actually I don't even think my husband here too.
I don't even think he knows this. But I was, yeah, okay.
So I remember taking care of a bird and the
bird was alive and I tried to keep it alive
(28:30):
and it passed, and I was literally in there when
the bird passed. I tried to feed it, but it
needed its mom. So I literally got my shoe box
out of the house and I dug a grave for
it and put dirt on it, and said, my ad
father proud because I knew how to pray, but it
was just me. So from there I was, you know,
(28:52):
just fascinated with that. So that was literally the beginning
of it. And then it goes on to they had
a murder in Jennings.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Now they had a murder in Jennings.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
And I asked my grandmother, who take care of the
deceased and she said undertakers. So I'm literally going around everybody,
you know, telling everybody, and even at school I want
to be an undertaker at eight nine years old, So
nobody paid me any attention. I mean, come on, now,
a girl martician like an undertaker, Like, what do you
(29:25):
know about that? They don't even really have a lot
of people like that that does that here, So what
do you know about it? So that's why I say
it was a gift that I was born with from God.
So from there my brother I had learned to braid hair.
And my brother was like forty one or forty two,
he passed away, and they asked me if I wanted
(29:48):
to braid his hair. So this was by the time,
it was either eleven or twelve years old, I can't remember.
So I went to the Black funeral home here in
Jennings and I braided his hair. I talked to the
martician that was there and he told me. I asked him,
I said, what school, like did you go to? And
so he told me.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I looked up the number and I actually called the school.
And I'll never forget miss Patsy. She just retired last year.
MS passed to say, baby, how old are you because
you were too young? Where's your your mom? Where's your dad?
I said that my mom's is at work, but I'm calling.
I wanted to call, you know, I wanted to call
for myself.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
And she was like, okay, baby, She said, well, I'm
going to send you some catalogs and stuff and hopefully
by the time you get older, you used to have.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
The same passion.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
And she when I graduated high school in two thousand
and six and went to Marchuary School in two thousand
and six, she remembered me.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Oh what she said, because no child.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Has never called up there asking about mortuary school.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
So fast forward.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I graduated in O seven, So it's only like a
fifteen month course, so it wasn't like two three years
or nothing like that.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Strictly a trade of embalming and funeral directing.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
So you learn, you know, you and bomb bodies over
there at a certain point of your you know, schooling.
And so from from there, I ended up graduating and
I came back home. I couldn't find a job, So
from there I got a job in Lake.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Charles and I was at that facility, at that funeral
home for about about eight years. Oh and so oh
it was. Let me tell you.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
I just told my husband, I said, my boss was
so hard on me, and I love him to this
day and I give him his flowers. He was so
hard on me, and I often wonder like why would
he so hard on me? Like I did a lot
of stuff by myself. And I just literally told this
to my husband. I said, I see why he was
so hard on me, because if he was not, I
wouldn't be able to run his funeral home by myself.
(31:49):
Like I pick up I pick up all my my bodies,
I embalmed all my bodies, I see all my families,
I work all my funerals.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
I do everything on my own.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
And that's how it's trained because he always told me
you never know, you may be by yourself one day,
and you need to be able to do everything.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
On your own.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I mean that's the whole point of entrepreneurship. Like eventually
you want to hire and get support, but the beauty
of it is you need to know how to do
every single job.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Yep, just in case they quit one day. You got
to be able to pick up the slack robe.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
The show got to keep going.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
You already, you know it, so can you.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Walk us through the process of the embalming.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Yeah, I can.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
So was that hard for you when you learn at first?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Well, my dad was my first body. Yeah, so it
was it wasn't hard. I guess it didn't take me.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
It took me about maybe two months and when he
passed within the two no, let me see June July. Yeah,
within the two months that I got hired. So I
was doing other bodies of what learning other bodies my dad.
I asked my boss to just leave me in the
room with my dad. And it took me a while,
but I got it. And so you know, you you make.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Your removal, you bring them to the funeral home, you
wash them, give them their bath, I wash their hair,
and then.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
You make your incision and then you do It's like
a process. So as much blood that comes out is
the same amount of embombing fluid you want to pump in, right, okay,
because if you don't have any drainage, then you can
swell the person up because it's not enough. You know,
you're just adding more and more and more, you know,
(33:32):
liquid to them without having some kind of exit. So
it takes about maybe on a normal case, about twenty
minutes twenty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
I thought, that's what happened in that autops just takes
a while.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
And your dad before he passed away, y'all had a
conversation about it.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Right, we did. So.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
I was in Martuary School in Houston and my dad
lived in another little rural small town called Elton, which
is about fifteen minutes from the you know home.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
And I told him my dad was sick.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
He had cancer, and so I was home every weekend
trying to take care of him and you know, stay
in school and things like that. Another thing about me
that people may not know that I have a tattoo
of a skull and it says undertaker.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I have a skull on the back of my neck
real well, a little.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Both a little bowl. Oh that's cute.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I love skull, and it said undertaker. And so during
the time of my dad being sick and coming home,
I had wanted to quit several times, but I said,
if I go get this tattoo tatted on me, I
am going to finish school, no matter how hard it is.
And I prayed, I asked God, I said, just spare
my dad to see me graduate and for me for
(34:45):
him to see me make it.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
That was my prayer. And so one day my dad
and I was having a conversation.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
I said, Daddy, I said, I think that if something
happened to you, I would be able to do you.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
You know, I would be able to do your service
and and bom you.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
And so he told me, he said, if you feel
that you could, baby, he said, do by.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
All means, do me the honors. So it was no
way I couldn't.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
I couldn't not take care of my dad from the
time I went there when he passed away, I watched
him remove him. The next day I went and or
later on that day, I went in and bombed him
and I dressed him, I helped put him in the casket.
I took him to the church. I did his funeral.
I directed the cemetery. And it's like that was the
(35:30):
hardest part. The hardest part, of course, of him passing,
but the hardest part of losing my dad or missing
him is leaving him at the cemetery.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
That's the toughest part.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Because you were pretty much with him all the way.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Exactly. I could have still walked even though he was deceased.
I could have still walked in that room and say, hey, daddy,
I'm here all good morning. You know, people might think
it's crazy, but that was That's what what kept me saying.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
And then what when I broke down is when I
left him at the cemetery. That was that was that
was tough for me.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
You know, you segue into my next question because I
feel like to be like, just talking to you, I
can tell you're a very spiritual person. So one role
the spirituality and faith plays in your profession.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Oh a whole lot. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
If it wasn't like for God, I wouldn't be where
I'm at. My mind would be all over the place
because I deal with so many people and the emotions.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
And I dealt with energy.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Oh, it's a lot. It's a lot of energy.
Speaker 5 (36:29):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
People often ask me, hey, do you see do you
see any anybody?
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Do anybody follow you home?
Speaker 4 (36:36):
I had, I had maybe one or two spirits that
followed me home.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
I'm not I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not scared.
My daughter. Yeah, my daughter is.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Nine now, but she was like three or four and
she can talk like since she was like one or two,
and like clearly, and so she would run in the
room and tell me, hey, my No, she was say, mommy,
Papaul is scaring me. So I've always even my son
that I have, he's four. I showed him them pictures
(37:08):
of who my dad was, of who he was, so
they knew who to look for, so for her to say,
but she would say he's scaring me.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
And then sometime I was like, okay, well I'm gonna
go get pu part. I'm telling them to stop scaring you.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Well, some days she would be giggling and laughing and
she wouldn't run to me. So obviously it was my
dad and someone else and some door.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Sometime the door my husband can vouch.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
For this, like the closet door will be literally closed
and then it would be open. And my daughter could
not open doors. So you know, I know, dog on,
weay out and closed that door and then I was
open wide open. So I just got a pastor to
come in and pray and then it stopped. So you know,
I never seen physically saw anyone. I do have a
gift that either I have dreams about people, or I
(37:56):
can look at a person and I say.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Maybe two people lives.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
I had a friend I haven't saw in a while,
and I saw her in Albison's, which is a grocery
store here in Lake Charles, and I said, hey, girl,
I said, I said, hey, why why are you you
know you're you?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
You done got darker. I said, what's wrong?
Speaker 4 (38:16):
She was like, I really, I said, I don't know.
She was like, I don't know. I said, you look
like your kidney's is shutting down.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
That's a kidney issue.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Yeah, I said exactly. I said, you look like you
having kidney issues. Go to the doctor. Two or three
days later, she came to the house. She said, girl,
she said, I have kidney stage three kidney failure.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
So she had to have dialysis. And she was like,
I can't thank you enough because I would have never
went to the doctor. I just thought it was just.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Normal, you know, like I was having just regular like
it was my blood pressure or things like that.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
So it's a few times that either I didn't save.
Speaker 4 (38:51):
Them or after they passed, and I'm like, you know,
like I wish I would have saw them ahead of time,
so to where I could have warned them or saw them.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
So go.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
I have different gifts dreams. Sometime I have to give
people messages from my dream. I'm telling you, it's mind blowing.
So it's really with dealing with death, the spiritual realm.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Guardly, I have.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
A lot of energy, like I deal with a lot
of energy, but I also ask for God protection because
not all energy is good energy.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
How you ever came across some bad energy or like
negative energy?
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Funeral not at a funeral home. I actually this is funny. Girl.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
So me and my husband about maybe a month or
two ago, stayed in the Airbnb in Lafayet, Louisiana. Immediately,
I didn't want to tell him immediately, No, yeah, okay,
(39:54):
it's really a nice place and they have some.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Good it's a little bit bigger. It's a little bit
bigger than Charles.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
So we stayed in the Airbnb and I as soon
as I walked in, I knew somebody passed in that house.
I knew somebody had had passed away there. I was
very uncomfortable. I felt their presence. It wasn't a bad present,
but I was just uncomfortable, like they didn't want us there.
And so we stayed there and I didn't tell him
nothing until we left and he told me.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
He said, I just kind of felt like weird. I
was like, well, I did too. I didn't want to
tell you.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
I didn't want to scare you. I said, somebody died
in that house. Well, later I said, that house is
very old. Even though they remodeled it, that house was old.
That house was in the twenties, in the twenties, the thirties,
So you could you imagine how many people that didn't
pass on in that house or whatever. It was just
one particular room that I really didn't want to sleep in.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
I slept across from it. And so when I.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
Never leave bad reviews on Airbnb, so it's a way
that you can go in and speak to them directly.
So I say, hey, y'all have a ghost. I say,
y'all have a I said, y'all have y'all have a
goals here. I said, that wasn't bad, it wasn't mean.
I said, I'll never put that. I said, but this
house had to have been old, and some people had
(41:09):
to have, you know, passed here. She said she wasn't
surprised for one. And she said that that house was
built I think she said in the in the thirties.
So she said, yeah, it's the older house and there
was a lot of history there. So girl, I deal
with this stuff all the time. My family is spiritual.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
So why say nothing? Why are you stand there?
Speaker 4 (41:30):
I just because it didn't bother me. I wasn't scared.
I wasn't scared. And girl, I didn't pay for that booth.
I paid for that house.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I paid for that. So we're gonna.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Playing with their money. Yeah, okay, we don't get no refound.
We are staying.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
We're staying right, yep.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
So how has been a mortician shaped away you view
life and death?
Speaker 3 (42:03):
It is so sharp. I was telling this to someone
the other day.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
I said, normally, at the beginning of my career, about
sixteen years ago, almost seventeen, I can actually they had
a season. They had a season of older people dying.
They will normally die at the end of the year.
They had a season of murder suicide that would be
kind of like in the middle of the year summertime.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
You had a season of children passing. So it was
kind of like a season. It was a.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Season of things, of deaths that would happen constantly. One
year'll be this way, it might flip the next day,
but you can put your finger on it that it
was going to be a certain age bracket at that
time of the year. Now death has no time, it
has no color, it has no age anymore, it has
no time of the year.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Is anything.
Speaker 4 (42:53):
They had eight fitting all deaths and gennings for the past.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
Two weeks and they all under the age of forty. Yeah,
so's no, it's no age on this anymore. Mmmm.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
You make a good point because when I remember when
I was younger, it was only old people die. But
now as I'm getting older, I'm like, everybody.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Died, everybody. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 4 (43:18):
So to answer your question, it has no.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
It has no.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
It's not a season anymore of different depths. It's just
mixed in.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
It's like a gumbo.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
It's it's everybody at any time, all type of ways.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Do you feel like you live your life to the
fullest because of your profession?
Speaker 3 (43:40):
Now I do. I do. I went on my first
airplane trip in.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Twenty I don't remember twenty twenty. Wait, hold on twenty, Taylor,
my daughter was born in fifteen, so in twenty seventeen
or twenty I think it was twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen.
That was my That was my first plane ride, and
I went to clock Denver, Colorado, with my friend to
(44:09):
meet them with my friends at a cabin.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
So that was my first time and ever since then,
I need I have to have at least two plane trips.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
A year going somewhere. We didn't input a cruise. We
try to take the kids somewhere because life is so short.
It's like I can't even put it in words of
how short, Like short is not even the right word.
Like it's really like literally one day you're here and
the next day you're gone.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Have you ever did a funeral or embomb somebody that
was difficult because besides like your father and I know
you do a lot of your family and friends. Has
there ever been a situation where you were just like
it was too much?
Speaker 4 (44:50):
Yeah, it was recently. So they had a lady that
we have gotten really close. So I do these events
in my in my city in Jennings, I do a
Christmas jamboree in December and I this year we gave
away I think close to two hundred and fifty tois
(45:12):
to each child or three hundred. We had about three
hundred and fifty people there at the park.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
And you the mayor of Genesis, Baby, you're doing everything.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
Everything, not only that somebody told me. That's another story.
Somebody say, girl, you need to run for mayor. I say, baby,
I don't know nothing about politics, so I'm doing do politicians.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
So I think you'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
But so three years ago, so this was my third year.
This is going to be the fourth year. So three
years ago I had asked. I was just asking just
people for donations, and this lady, she was like, well,
we're doing something too. I said, well, let's just merge.
Let's do it together. So we've been doing it together
ever since. She was at my event on December fifteenth
(45:58):
and she said, hey.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Girl, she said, I'm going I'm gonna come. I'm gonna
come by there. I need to talk to you about
some stuff. So this was a Sunday.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
She came on a Tuesday, and she just wanted to
talk about you know. What happened was the process. She
picked out her own casket. She picked she told me
her favorite flowers, her favorite.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Color was red.
Speaker 4 (46:19):
You know, we just had a conversation. We laughed and
everything else. And that Saturday, which was four or five
days later, she we was at a party, was at
a Christmas party, and so I waved at her at it.
I normally hugg I'm a hugger. I normally hugged. But
I was in a rush to leave. I had enough
(46:40):
of the party. I was ready to go. I was hungry,
so I waved at her, but she smiled and waved.
Literally ten hours later she died. She died December twenty second,
so that was how did she die? She had a
massive heart attack.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Wow, yeah, she had a massive heart attack, And you know,
it was just that.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
Really that was really like my dad and I have buried,
like my best friend's family, my other my aunts, my cousins.
That they're losing her was one of the hardest things
of my career since I opened the funeral home.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
That was hard.
Speaker 4 (47:19):
That was very hard for me. I cried almost every day.
But I knew like her funeral. I had her clothes
on display, I had pictures, I had flowers galore. We
actually she was my I had a backdrop in the
back of her casket. They're not used to seeing a
funeral like that. First off, wearing red at a funeral
(47:43):
is taboo. So maybe we all had red on. I
had a red dress on, she had red on.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Everywhere. Everybody wrote red. So that was broke. That taboo
was broken.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
You could wear any color that doesn't normally say it's like,
you're happy that the deceases is dead, and I'm like,
you know, if red was our favorite color, let's celebrate that.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
We're not going to change that.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
That that is something that was manipulated in my in
our minds, you.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Know, being pink with a buzz down.
Speaker 6 (48:09):
So oh baby, I'm here for it was everything was
so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
It was something.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
It was the start of being able to show people
that how a funeral can be. It can be non traditional,
it could be all let's celebrate the life of her.
So yeah, I've had plenty. I've buried a lot of
friends and family members, but recently, within the last two
(48:42):
three weeks, it was hard.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
That was a hard.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
What lessons do you think we can learn about living
from how we honor the dead, because I feel like
a lot of people don't respect the dead in some cases.
Speaker 4 (48:55):
I'm really not sure it really changed. It changed some
people for the better, and it's changed some people for
the worst. Some people really be like, you know what,
you really live, yolo, you only live once, So let
me go ahead and let me open my business or
let me go ahead and let me take that trip,
Let me get on, let me get on the boat, you.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Know, things like that, let me let me take a
cruise or something.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
So I really think that they get motivated, especially if
they pass away abruptly and not you know, like someone
that had cancer or some kind of issue that they
was dealing with for a long period. To me, when
you have an illness, you can kind of better prepare
your emotions to lose that person.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
You know, kind of.
Speaker 4 (49:40):
It's still going to be hard, but you could kind
of prepare versus someone getting killed, having a massive heart attack,
a stroke, or you know, things that are shocking.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
So, yeah, I'm just curious do you feel like, because
I know you're a spiritual person, do you feel like
when you disrespect the dad come back to you?
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Most definitely? I think so. I think so. And the
thing about it is.
Speaker 4 (50:07):
Like, why be disrespectful to them when you're coming there
to respect them passing? Like what's you know, like, what
is the point of you even coming if you're going
to be disrespectful? You know, like what are you coming
to the visitation and funeral for? It's a little bit
different here. If they didn't like you or whatever. They're
not coming. They're not coming, So we really kind of
(50:30):
don't deal with the disrespect because we can pull up
to your house.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
You literally live around the corner. We got three streets.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
We got three streets here across town and stuff, so
we got three streets, were coming to your house.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
So we're almost finished. So what changes would you like
to see in the funeral industry in the next five
to ten years. What I would like to see is,
of course, more women, more celebrations of life. Uh more
just celebrating that person in the way that they lived,
like if they were sassy, if they wore a wig that.
Speaker 3 (51:11):
Was towed up or whatever.
Speaker 4 (51:13):
Hey, that's how she That's that was her, that's how
you know what I'm saying. That's I want to see
more of people representing the deceased as how they were.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
If they would walk through the door, if it was
a holiday. That's that's what I want to see.
Speaker 4 (51:27):
I want to see more you know, black and white
women in this industry, and a lot of black working
for white firms and a lot of white for people.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
Working for black firms. Let's let's mix.
Speaker 4 (51:39):
That's my whole thing here in Jennings we have a
train track, and the train track separate us. So when
you cross the train track going downtown, that's as black people.
When you cross it going uptown as white people, We're
we're literally.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
So it's still segregated.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
Yeah, we still we're not not legally separated. Segregated is
just that's just how we are. Like we have I
have black cemeteries and we have white cemeteries. Yeah, yeah,
I'm so. I forgot that you're not from around here,
so we literally have.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
I remember I was working at a white firm and
they had this lady.
Speaker 4 (52:14):
She was from Florida, and she was like, well, we
was at a cemetery and I told her.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
I said, well, on this side you have the name
of THEID. I gave it the name of.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
The cemetery, and then on the left side you have
another and I gave it a name. She was like, well,
why is it two separate parts. I said, well, this
is black people and this is white people.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
She was like what She was.
Speaker 4 (52:30):
Like, y'all segregated around. Yes, we are to a certain extent,
because that's just how it was and that's just how
things were. So I'm trying to break that barrier by
I have my Christmas events and certain events in a
certain area in Jennie to where we all meet up
(52:52):
in one spot. So I have a variety Black, white,
Mexican have different races. Like I don't care what color
you are, you can come here. I'm gonna take care
of you the same way, the same way. So that's
why I put you know that on my business card
and I'm looking at it. Guiding hearts, honoring legacies, servicing
(53:14):
all faiths, family and people. So you know, it's like
I want people to know that it's okay to use
a black funeral home. Like if you're white, it's okay.
We're gonna treat you with the utmost respect.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
Do you get a lot of white I actually had three.
I had three out of forty four people. So baby,
that three. I was told I would never get any
white people.
Speaker 4 (53:41):
So that three means the you know, that means a
lot to me and I you know, I've been praying that.
I don't let me say this. You have to be
careful what you pray for. I never pray for someone.
I don't like when people passed away, I really don't.
But when my prayer is when that time comes, that
they think about Martuary's Center first and going to bring
me that family. That's going to show, that's going to
(54:05):
let people know that I handle them in the same
way no matter what color you are. So that's really
I really want to see diverse diversity in the funeral industry.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
Not to be messy, but do you know if the
white white funeral homes do they serve as black people?
Speaker 3 (54:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (54:24):
They do. It's not it's let me let me say this.
It's not that they don't service us. We don't go
because they are a white firm. We're gonna they people
feel that a white can't take care of a black
and a black can't take care.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
Of a white.
Speaker 4 (54:39):
That was the stigma back then because, like I was
saying earlier, they felt that white people with there, they
turned darker as they get you know, as the days
go by, Well, everybody get darker because you're deceased.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
We all at the end of the day, at the
end of the day. So yeah, that's that's the reasoning.
Speaker 2 (54:59):
But what will happen the white person is buried in
a white cemetery? Is that possible?
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Yeah? You can.
Speaker 4 (55:05):
Again, it's just we don't because we have a right
that's how it been.
Speaker 3 (55:11):
That's how nobody changed that. So it's not like they say,
it's not like.
Speaker 4 (55:17):
It's racial around here, like the owner of the cemetery saying,
we don't want no black people here.
Speaker 3 (55:22):
It's not that.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
It's just we don't go because we got our own.
Y'all told us we couldn't go back then, so we're
not going right now. We made our own and that's
where we're going.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
I'm coming to visit you, baby. I don't like that
second shit slavery child.
Speaker 3 (55:41):
We passed that five.
Speaker 4 (55:45):
Yeah, girl, we still deal with, you know, racism and stuff.
Like I was telling you earlier, like it was hard.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
For me to get this building. Like this building, the
funeral home was a church and it's in the middle.
Speaker 4 (55:56):
Like we have a major highway, Highway twenty six, and
literally about I say, maybe thirty feet to each side
of the funeral home is a house. I have a
black lady on the right side, and I have a
white family. They moved when I wanted to buy this building.
Long story short, I had to go through zoning. They
they piled up in there on me. And what I
(56:18):
say they is the members here was all white people,
and so I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Speaker 3 (56:24):
I literally did not have any investors.
Speaker 4 (56:26):
I didn't have nobody holding my hand telling me what
to do. I figured this out on my own with
the help of my husband. Like, no investors, nothing. So
I went in for zoning, and the zoning board the
neighbors came got up and they was like, well, we
think that if it's a funeral home, it's going to
(56:46):
cause traffic jams, it's going to be a disturbance, just
all kind of crazy stuff. So they did not pass me,
but me, you can't tell me no one time, because
I'm going back again.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
So I went back again, but I went back with
my own force.
Speaker 4 (56:59):
I have people that's city councilmen and sent you know,
that's on the boards of different things around here. And
so when I went back, they end up passing me,
but they passed me with hey, you need to put
a thirty foot fence around your funeral home because we
don't want to see you know, if we passed it,
you have to put a fence where They thought that
that was going to stop me by putting a fence,
(57:21):
but they didn't know that the state I needed to
put a fence up anyway for protection so people wouldn't
see me putting bringing bodies in the church.
Speaker 3 (57:28):
Right.
Speaker 4 (57:28):
So, so once I purchased the building, the people on
my left side, the family that was there. I bought
the building, but it took me a while to get
the rest of the money to remodel. So nothing was happening.
It was so nothing was happening for months. So that
(57:50):
family got their real estate agent to call me and say, hey, girl,
I got somebody want are you Are you trying to
sell your building? I have someone that want to buy
your billing? And I said, oh no, man, renovation starts
next week. Literally next week. Them people had a for
sale sign. They sold that house in a month, less
(58:10):
than a month.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
They left. They left, But God always.
Speaker 4 (58:15):
Removes people that is not of him or is not
going out with the old end with the new. My
new neighbors, their white family. They're from Mississippi. The best
neighbors I can ask for.
Speaker 3 (58:27):
What do you need?
Speaker 4 (58:29):
I need my mailbox? Can you put my mailbox together?
Oh yeah, we got the paperwork to dig and do
what needs to be done.
Speaker 3 (58:36):
They come.
Speaker 4 (58:37):
They helped my husband of motar grass is on four
acres of land. That's a lot of grass over here.
Speaker 3 (58:41):
Yeah, so yeah, I can't. I can't think God.
Speaker 4 (58:47):
Enough for always putting the right people around me, because
that's my prayer, like put the right people around me.
Speaker 3 (58:54):
So but you know, I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
I'm so happy that I really enjoying this conversation. So
two more questions. So, what advice would you give to
young girls or any of our listeners that's interested in
becoming morticians?
Speaker 3 (59:11):
So go for it. Don't be scared.
Speaker 4 (59:15):
What may be hard for someone may not be hard
for you in fact. So yeah, so always try something
out first and see if it's your thing.
Speaker 3 (59:24):
If it's not your thing, then don't do it.
Speaker 4 (59:26):
Marthuary work being a martian or funeral director is not
for everybody. You don't just wake up and wanting to
be a martician. It has to be placing. It is
a complete gift. You deal with so many you first off,
you see so many things we're dealing with, how the
person passed away, You deal with different smells, different you know,
family members, somebody might you know, be argumentative fighting, different
(59:51):
things you deal with. And so I say, if you
have it and wanting to wanted to do this, for
so long.
Speaker 3 (59:58):
Go ahead and do it. Find you a great.
Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Teacher that can teach you the ins and outs of
the business, the industry. I have people like find me,
like how you found me, Like they find me and
inbox me and I just tell them to call me
and I tell him anything you need, you called me,
So I will guide you as much as I can.
I will help you with whatever you need. But just
(01:00:24):
please just go for it. Don't be afraid and just
go for it.
Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
You know what, Maybe I'll come down there and we
can do I could be your intern for a day.
You can teach me how to.
Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
You can come.
Speaker 4 (01:00:37):
Girls, come on, just to put a little thing like
like a little just a little extra thing.
Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
I have my daughter. My daughter is nine and Taylor,
she picks up bodies with me. Wow, she picks up
bodies with me. She said, Mom, I don't know if
I want to be a bomber. That's a little bit
too much.
Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Because she she saw and she was like, I don't no,
but she I think she has the funeral director inside
of greeting and meeting and talking with people and making
the removals. So I have her. I have my little
cousin as my assistant. Uh, she works here every day.
Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
My mom come.
Speaker 4 (01:01:14):
I retired my mom a few I think in twenty nineteen.
She retired and she's spalled. She take care of my
four year old son and she get whatever she wants.
She comes, she clean.
Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
So I really I employed.
Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
You know, whenever I need my family, I just employed
my family, like I am a family business.
Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Literally.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Yeah, I know you're getting that chicken baby. I can't
wait to come to your fr.
Speaker 5 (01:01:40):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
And last but not least, if you can talk to
your eight year old self who first dreamed of being
an undertaker, what would you say to her.
Speaker 4 (01:01:50):
You're going to do it. Yeah, You're going to do it.
Everything that you dreamed of is going to come to pass.
Because I go back back, way back of my childhood
and where I was at my teenage years and my
early twenties up until now, and I'm like, it was
nobody regard like. So you know, I would really tell
(01:02:11):
myself just keep going to keep like literally what I'm
doing now, just keep the faith.
Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
It's gonna come to pass because it wasn't easy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Oh, I already know, I already know. I'm so excited
that we connected. This was a really good conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Yes it was. I had fun, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Yes, yes, me living out my dream my childhood dreams
and being a mortician through you to the listeners. If
you have any questions, comments, and concerns, please make sure
to email me a hello at the pshgpodcast dot com.
And this was a perfect example of why you should
share your storyline because you never know how it could
be somebody else's lifeline. Absolutely so until next time. Everyone, Later,
(01:02:51):
you're gonna say bye.
Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
Oh bye y'all. Look, I'm waving like they can see me. Bye, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
God blast, Okay, have blast now that we've got some
saints from a call. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a
production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
(01:03:21):
you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe
and rate the show, and you can connect with me
on social media at the PHG podcast
Host
Eboné Almon
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