15. The Psychology of Attraction

Why do we feel a “spark” for some people and not others? What creates attraction and what is our ‘love map’? Listen in to find out why we are attracted to some people over others and how we can transform passionate love into something stable and long term.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
the podcast where we talk through some of the big
changes and transitions of our twenties and what they mean
for our psychology. It has been a while. I took
some time off to do my final week DAMS, and
I have officially finished my degree, which is super exciting

(00:28):
a little bit nerve racking as well. I think next
week I really want to do an episode on like
the psychology of life transitions, because I think it would
be quite interesting to kind of discuss, especially as I
prepare to move cities, say goodbye to camera stop, my
new job, all of those things. Yeah, it feels like

(00:48):
adulthood is really beginning, and it's a period it's pretty
full of like nostalgia for like my first year self excitement, nerves.
But that's next week. For this week's episode, I'm pulling
something from the archives. We're going to talk about the
psychology of attraction. So I did a lot of research
into this a few weeks ago, but never got around

(01:10):
to recording it because I was obviously stressed. But today
is the day. I've just been really fascinated by what
creates attraction as a single person, and why we like
certain people and don't like others, especially in our twenties
when it seems, you know, everyone is having these flings
and these attraction than these crushes to people, and we

(01:31):
go out to clubs and you know, we meet people
and we have this spark. So what kind of creates
this so called spark From a psychological perspective, We're going
to explore the answer to that. But I wanted to
take more of a social psychology approach rather than biological
as we traditionally hear about. You know, obviously we can't

(01:52):
really talk about attraction without talking about the neural and
hormonal origins. But I want to discuss more so how
attraction for in a social environment, for romantic partners obviously,
but also friendships as well, while we attracted to certain
people and not others. Okay, So there is this theory
often flaunted by the skeptics of love that attraction is

(02:16):
merely chemical, love is merely chemical romance, all of those things.
It's quite like a biological reductionist approach that we can
explain everything based on what neurotransmitters of release, what hormones
are released in those kind of things, and attraction occurs
because of hormones mostly related to procreation and sex, that
are released when we see someone who arouses us or

(02:37):
meets our preferences or our love map, which is something
I'm going to discuss a bit later, and it's attracted
like that instantaneous attraction. It's often associated with high levels
of serotonin and estrogen for women and testosterone for men,
and we find people initially attractive because of what is
unlocked in our brains and bodies. Also, when I was

(03:00):
researching this, for the women who are listening or for
those who identify as female or who have periods, it's
really interesting because you're more likely to find people attractive
during certain periods of like your menstrual cycle. So right
after you like finish your period, before you begin to opulate,

(03:21):
before you're like most fertile, I guess that's the period
where you're most likely to experience like attraction, which is
really interesting, and that drops off after you've ovulated towards
like when your period's about to start. So attraction can
be caused by things like physical appearance obviously, but also
other factors like smell. So a study that was done

(03:43):
this year actually well was published this year found that
women with certain sense are more attractive to men. So
turns out that we are most appealing when we have
high estrogen and low progression levels, which is, like I said,
more more ovulating. And this balance of hormones indicates high

(04:05):
female fertility, which is a huge kind of driver of attraction.
I feel like when we're thinking about it from a
sex perspective or a mating perspective, And the research is
explained that it makes sense that men find women more
attractive while they're at this stage because of that instinct
to mate into career offspring. Another one, another factor that

(04:28):
also has a big kind of role to play an
attraction is a voice. So another study a few years ago,
so a bit outdated, but it found that women prefer
men with low voices. And there could be something inherently
biological in this, as deeper voices have been linked to
producing healthier children in the While lower pitch is associated

(04:50):
with being bigger, it might also indicate greater testosterone levels
if your voice is low, which is really interesting, so smell, voice,
all of these things that we initially get from someone
when we first meet them, and other factors that kind
of create that rush of serotonin that a company's attraction
may be certain features like muscles and how tall you are,

(05:14):
if you have good skin, facial traits, tan skin posture,
all of which can be indicative of someone's fertility obviously,
but also the capacity to protect, to care, and to nurture.
So although like instant attraction might be biologically based, it's
also influenced by a number of social and environmental factors

(05:34):
that more so allow love and other feelings of attraction,
but more than that to kind of blossom. Okay, but
now moving on to what leads to attraction and friendship
beyond that initial spark, that initial first glance, love at
first side thing. So there are four factors that psychologists

(05:56):
often identify as leading to attraction. So that's proximate, physical attractiveness,
which we've kind of or discussed, similarity, and liking those
who like us. So proximity is probably the strongest predictor
of attraction. The more we kind of see and interact
with a person, the more likely we are to become

(06:19):
friends with them or to become attracted to them. This
is really interesting. There was a study that you know,
this was a theory at person and there was a
study done to kind of confirm this hypothesis, and it
was done at the Westgate House community at MIT, so
it's like a college basically, And they tracked attraction, relationships,

(06:39):
and friendship formation amongst people at various apartment buildings and
apartment rooms, and residents had been assigned their apartments at random,
which is great, you know, random allocation makes an experiment
a lot more generalizable, yes, more valid, more reliable. But
research has asked the participants to name the people that

(07:01):
they were most attracted to, and they're three closest friends
within the living quarters. Sixty five percent of them named
people who lived in the same on the same floor,
so all people who even lived in the same apartment
because it was shared. Forty one percent of them said
next door neighbors, so those right across from them. Twenty

(07:22):
two percent said two doors down, so you can kind
of see as they get farther away, the rate of
attraction or friendship kind of drops off. And then ten
percent of them said the opposite end of the hallway.
So it kind of seems that attraction and the level
of friendship that we have towards people, or how attracted
we are of them as a person is related to

(07:45):
just the physical distance between people, but it's not just
like the physical distance. It's also functional distance. So if
there are features in your life or where you're living
that make it more likely that you will become close
to someone will interact with them, that also creates attraction.
So if for example, people are living on the same

(08:05):
pathway or someone who's living at the bottom of the
stairs where you have to pass by every day, they
also have a greater chance of meeting people and building
those friendships, but also that attraction with people that they meet.
So the proximity effect, it does seem largely to be
due to mere exposure sore exposure effect. It's basically the

(08:26):
tendency to rate stimuli more positively after you've been exposed
to them repeatedly. So in the case of attraction, you
rate someone as more attractive or you're more interested in
them the more that you're exposed to them. So we see,
the more we see people, the more familiar we become
with them, the more likely we are to be attracted

(08:47):
to them, to become friends with them, to pursue something
with them, And obviously, like there are limitations, like if
the persons really mean doesn't really matter how close they are.
It's probably worse if they're closer to you and you
don't like them. But in general, proximity effect does seem
to kind of hold up. And it's also to deal
with familiarity. It builds affection and liking. So the more exposure,

(09:12):
the higher frequency of exposure, the more favorable you are.
So that is one of those core things that relates
to who you find attractive. It's how close you are
distance wise. The second one that we talked about that
I noticed was similarity, and this really fuels growing relationships
and attraction to someone. So it's not just the physical distance,

(09:33):
but it's the match between our interests, our attitudes, values, backgrounds,
or personality and those of another person. So if you
share things in common, you're more likely to find someone attractive,
and the more likely a relationship is to evolve. Research
evidence really strongly supports its similarity draws people together. I

(09:54):
feel like it's a bit of a no brainer. So
you don't think about your friends or the person you're
in a relationship with, or someone that you like, you're
more likely to share common attitudes. You'll have things that
you like in common. For example, if you like bike riding,
obviously you're going to people more attracted to someone who
shares that interest. Yeah, so if you share things in common,

(10:17):
it kind of makes sense that attraction will evolve, especially
because I guess people who are similar to us will
like the same things as us. But also they validate
our own characteristics and beliefs, so they provide us with
this feeling that we are right, that what we like
is right, how we feel is right, and that's really

(10:38):
important for our self esteem, which is why we might
be attracted to them because they validate us. And we
also tend to make negative and automatic inferences about someone
who disagrees with us on an important issue or who
dislikes the things that we like, because that kind of
provides a bit of hostility or kind of I don't know,
push back towards what you think is good in the

(11:01):
world and is so powerful you know, liking someone though,
if you just like who they are, that it can
make up for an absence of similarity. So things, you know,
having things in common is important, but if you just
really like someone, sometimes that doesn't even matter. And this
is where the principle of reciprocity comes in. So we

(11:25):
like people who like us, which kind of links back
to that self esteem self awareness hypothesis. Reciprocal liking sometimes
occurs because of a self fulfilling prophecy. So when we
expect people to like us, or we think that they
like us, that elicits more favorable behavior from us, which

(11:46):
means they're more likely to be favorable or kind to
us back. So, there was a study done I think
in the eighties, right when like attraction psychology was starting
to take place, and basically, these two guys, Curtis and Miller,
they got these college students to participate in pairs, and

(12:07):
the pairs both members of the pairs they hadn't met
each other before, and one member of each pair was
selected randomly to no certain information that the other student
either liked or disliked them. Obviously, this wasn't based on anything.
The research has made it up, so they kind of
like manipulated the experiment. So one member of the pair
was told, Oh, yeah, this person that you're meaning today

(12:28):
they really like you or they've heard about you, and
you know, maybe in another pair, the research would be like, oh,
they actually dislike you. I don't think that you guys
will get along. So those who believed that they were
liked initially, they behaved more positively, they disclosed more, disagreed less,
and behaved just in general more warmly to their partner,

(12:50):
whereas those who believed they weren't liked actually ended up
getting along with the person a lot less, even if
initial personality tests or interest tests had proven that they
actually had quite a lot in common. So the partner
kind of mirrored that of the other member of the pairs.
So if you thought someone wasn't going to like you,

(13:11):
probably weren't going to be as warm to them because
you were initially hostile or vigilant against an attack against
your sense of self. This is obviously, maybe not obviously,
but interestingly moderated by self esteem. So people with a
negative self concept, so they don't really like themselves, they

(13:31):
don't see themselves very favorably, They respond quite differently in
this experiment, which the research has noticed, and would prefer
to meet someone who has criticized them before, who the
researchers said didn't like them. If someone is it's friendly
to them, and you have a negative self concept, then
that behavior kind of appears unwarranted because you believe that

(13:53):
you're not a good person, and they may not respond positively,
So that reciprocation is a huge of attraction. Liking someone
who likes us. It makes a lot of sense, obviously.
The big one, the one that most people probably think
about in terms of attractive, in terms of attraction, is
just physical attractiveness. You know, you just find certain people hot,

(14:17):
you like what they look like, I guess, and you know,
the research checks up against that. Men and women both
prefer attractive partners and are more likely to say that
they're more attractive or they have greater attraction towards them
physically and greater arousal if that person is traditionally attractive.
This is one of the best indicators of whether someone

(14:39):
would like to date someone, so people they often attribute
positive qualities to those who are more attractive. My friend
Meg and I were talking about this other day, how
attractive people have it so much easier because I think
people presume that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable

(15:01):
traits as well, because it's indicative of so much more.
And our culture kind of promotes this stereotype in less
than subtle ways. You know, bad characters and movies they're
often ugly, whilst the good ones are beautiful like Cinderella
and snow White. They have perfect skin, beautiful bodies, and
so we see them as good, whereas those that are
ugly we see them as unhealthy. We see them as

(15:23):
cruel what we see them as bad, and this has
like a lot of research behind it. People really want
to hate on attractive people. Will not really hate on
attractive people, but they want to know why they kind
of get further ahead in life, I guess. So here's
a few examples of how this attraction or attractiveness creates

(15:45):
attraction or liking someone. So teachers, they often judge attractive
students are as more intelligent and unattractive students adults, and
nurses who are in pediatric wards they often punish unattractive
children more harshly. This study in Texas showed that a
judge is more likely judges just correlationally set lower bales

(16:08):
and smaller fines for attractive suspects. Attractive people make more money,
they get better job ratings from their bosses, and this
one is really interesting in terms of attachment and childhood development.
Parents they spend more time looking at attractive babies and
attractiveness of babies if the baby was really cute was

(16:31):
linked to health and treatment in ICU. So nurses and
doctors not to say they're biased, this is obviously very implicit,
but they tend to spend more time nurturing and caring
for babies that look attractive, that look cute. So even
in early life, it's really good to be good looking.
You know, there's just other things as well. Like attractive people,

(16:52):
they're more seen as relaxed and outgoing, and that's a
huge thing for attraction. If you think that someone has
all of these desirable traits from looking at them, obviously
that attraction is going to blossom pretty quickly, and it
does create kind of a self fulfilling prophecy. So because
attractive people are more valued and favored even from birth,

(17:13):
this causes them to develop greater self confidence, and if
they're more liked, they might want that feeling to continue.
So what ends up happening isn't they get more opportunities
they're more valued, so that those other kind of attributes
and skills and behaviors that make someone attractive or likable

(17:34):
develop from that, And just in terms of like general attractiveness,
it's really interesting to note that there is like a
lot of cross cultural consistency in terms of body features
and what kind of people we're going to find attractive
just from the surface level, so across different cultures. Women,

(17:55):
in terms of their facial structure, we like people with
large and widely separate eyes, small nose, small chin, but
also wide cheekbones and narrow cheeks. So if you think
about like the traditional model, like the Kendall Genners of
the world, they have all those features. Men, on the
other hand, very different. We want a square jaw, we

(18:17):
want small eyes, thin lips, bushy eyebrows, those kind of things,
and a lot of people from different cultures agree on
what it's attractive in a face. There's been so many
studies that have shown that people across the world find
the same types of faces very very attractive, and even
infants show this. They prefer the same photographs of adults

(18:40):
and they're often the attractive adults, which I think is
really interesting in terms of whether attraction to certain features
is maybe even biological and link to that health and
well being kind of perspective. So attraction towards physical features
maybe where the idea of love at first sight has

(19:00):
come from. We see it in movies and in books.
It's a classical archetype of love, of seeing someone and
falling in love with them knowing the other one. But
is this really real? Is this a real thing? I
think a more important mechanism by which humans become captivated
by someone is due to your love map. This was

(19:21):
a concept created by a sexologist called John Money, very
good name. So long before you fixate on a specific
person that you find attractive for various reasons, you've developed
a map. It's kind of like a template within your
brain that determines what arouses you sexually, what drives you
to fall in love with one person rather than another,

(19:44):
what drives you to be friends with one person rather
than another, to find someone attractive basically, And these love maps,
they vary from from one individual to the next. So
some people get turned on you by a business suit
or a doctor's uniform, large boobs, more feet, laughter, It's
all kind of varied, but that averageness and that kind

(20:06):
of notion of symmetry still wins out. So in this
one study, these psychologists selected thirty two faces of Caucasian
women only, and using computers, they averaged all of their features,
and then they showed these images to college peers, and
of the thirty two photographs of real female faces, only

(20:32):
three of them were rated as more appealing than these
mixed photos of all the averaged features. So that's really interesting.
This kind of idea of averageness and symmetry is really important,
and they don't really know why. Obviously the world does
not share the same sexual ideals of Caucasian students from

(20:52):
some university in America. But like I said, despite widely
dissimilar standards of beauty and sex appeal, there are some
of those common traits, like the symmetry of the face,
the small nose, the large eyes, good complexion. People are
also drawn to partners and attracted to people who they

(21:13):
regard as clean, which makes sense because you don't want
to date someone who has poor hygiene that is really gross.
And men, in most places, they generally prefer plump, wide
hipped women to slim ones. Women prefer broad shouldered men.
So it looks really count in attraction, and so does

(21:33):
so does money, which makes sense. Obviously the initial attraction,
you might not be able to determine how much someone
is worth, maybe by the value of their clothes or
something like that. But if you find out that someone
has a lot of money or pretty well off, you
could become more attractive to them. And this is seen
from rule Zulus to urban Brazilians. You know, Caucasian people

(21:56):
in Wyoming, men are attracted to young, good looking women,
while women are drawn to men with property and money.
And these like male female appetites, they're probably in a
you know, it's in a male's genetic advantage to fall
in love and be attracted to a woman who provides
and who could produce viable offspring, and it's in a

(22:17):
woman's biological advantage traditionally and from an evolutionary standpoint to
be attracted to a man who can help her support
a young family or offspring. This can influence love at
first sight because we're often immediately captivated by characteristics that
fit our love map and feel an insane attraction to

(22:38):
that person if they kind of check off things that
in our brain circuitry we know would make us happy
and arouse and give us that stone and rush. And
then I think the other thing is we also create
expectations for this person that we have this instantaneous attraction for,
and when people meet those expectations. It's a self fulfilling

(22:58):
prophecy that makes you kind of feel like you've loved
them since the beginning, since you first laid eyes on them.
Another important consideration in terms of love at first sight
or attraction is that it might have a critical adaptive
function amongst animals and including humans. So during the mating season,
a female squirrel, for example, needs to breed, and if

(23:21):
she sees a healthy squirrel who probably doesn't fit her
love map, but maybe the biological physical map of what
is a good partner, she really shouldn't waste any more time.
She should size him up, see if he's right, and
if he looks suitable, she'd probably grabbed the chance to copulate.
She needs to have babies. That's what her instinct is
driving her towards. So perhaps love at first sight it's

(23:42):
no more than an inborn tendency in many creatures that
has evolved to spur the mating process. And then among
our human ancestors, what has been animal attraction involved into
a human sensation of infatuation at a glance and love
at first sight. So we've talked about proximity, we've talked
about similarity, reciprocal feelings. What else physical attractiveness, But then

(24:09):
there's familiarity, and this might be the most important factor
that kind of runs through them all. When research participants
raided the attractiveness of faces, they rated the faces that
most matched or looked like their own as the most attractive.
This is because people who are similar to us will

(24:30):
also feel familiar to us, and it's reciprocal liking again,
people who look like each other. If we see someone
a lot, then we begin to understand their face. They've
become familiar to us, and that makes us feel comfortable
and it makes us feel acknowledged in some ways invalidated,
which I just think is really interesting, like how that

(24:51):
kind of comes about. How we you know, people who
are familiar are more attractive because of that proximity, but
also as we become to understand their facial features and
feel a sense of comfort around them. So let's jump
into some theories of interpersonal attraction, which has kind of
been coming towards this. So there are a few. The

(25:12):
first one, the most prominent idea in psychology is social
exchange theory. This is the idea that people's feelings about
attraction and a relationship depends on the perceptions of rewards
and costs, the kind of relationship they deserve, and their
chances for having a better relationship with someone else. We
really want to find the best relationship that we can get,

(25:33):
so the rewards that we might kind of weigh up
when we first find someone attractive are the positive, gratifying
aspects of a potential relationship that make it worthwhile. This
might include things like status and physical attractiveness or money
as we were considering before. But then there's the costs,
and all friendships and relationships they have some costs. However,

(25:55):
if rewards at wig costs, will probably pursue that person
we find attractive. And this is all dependent on comparison
level relative to expectations experience alternatives. If a relationship doesn't
match our comparison level of what we expect, we will
be unhappy, and it really depends on our point of view.

(26:15):
People with a low comparison level, they're more likely to
stay in costly relationships, which is quite sad. Like if
you don't believe you can do better, that first person
you find attractive might just be the one and you
might just stick it out with them. There's another idea
of equity theory, and this is the idea that people
are happiest in relationships where they initially feel attracted to

(26:38):
someone when the rewards and costs experienced are shared by
both parties equally. So basically what that means is neither
one is giving too much. You know, you're not going
to be attracted to someone who never texts you back
WoT maybe you will, or who makes you feel like
they don't want you there or that they don't like you.

(26:58):
We're going to be attracted to some one who gives
as much as we give into a relationship, and equitable relationships,
they're the most happiest and the most stable, and it's
a pretty powerful social norm equity. We want people want
both people to benefit equally, and people kind of prefer
to be the one who benefits more so it's more

(27:19):
of a problem for those who are underbenefited. So making
sure that it's an equal kind of standing is really
good for those long term relationships. Let's try to break
down that cycle of long term loving relationships because we
have that initial intense liking stage of attraction and that's
called passionate love, but that kind of moves on to

(27:41):
companion love as we know someone more when that initial attraction,
that excitement, that spark begins to fame. So starting with
passionate love, it's kind of been what we've been talking
about this whole time. It tends to refer to attraction
and love that's characterized by high arousal, intense attraction, and
fear of attraction. The important aspect is that the person

(28:04):
has to attribute arousal to the right target for passionate
love to emerge. So sometimes we can confuse arousal and love,
and this is called excitation transfer. Excitation transfer. I don't
think many people it's not really like a big theory
in psychology, which I'm kind of surprised about because it
makes a lot of sense, and it comes from this

(28:25):
study called Love on the Bridge. So there's two bridges.
One bridge has a tendency to tilt and sway and
feel unstable and kind of shake around, and the other
bridge feels a lot safer, it does not sway, it's
not that high up, it's made of concrete, it's very stable.
The first bridge, obviously is going to generate a lot

(28:46):
more arousal. So we have these participants, male participants, and
they were approached on either of the bridges by an
attractive female experimenter, and that experimenter they asked the participant
to tell them a story about a relationship, and in
the suspension bridge condition, where there's a swaying in an unstability,

(29:06):
the men wrote more sexual stories and were more likely
to call the experimenter to see if their date with
this attractive female confederate went well. However, those in the
controlled safe bridge condition wrote significantly less sexual stories and
only thirteen percent of them called the experimenter, So this
is evidence of excitation transfer. Participants on the unsafe bridge

(29:29):
were more aroused, but attributed this arousal to meeting the woman,
not the bridge, whereas those on the safer bridge didn't
feel that same level of physiological arousal. So kind of
what this all comes down to is romantic love. We
have that attraction, but how does that create romantic love?
Interestingly enough, a lot of research has been done into this,

(29:52):
and romantic love seems to have a lifespan. Passionate love
has a lifespan. More like it that attraction's only really
going to last eighteen to twenty months. So you know,
if you're lucky, you've got like a year or two years, sorry,
like a year and a half two years of that
attraction and after that, when relationships do last, companion love

(30:13):
appears to be what really sustains a relationship. And this
refers companion love, This refers to affection we feel for
those whom our lives are deeply entwined to. It's a secure,
trusting partnership. So most common responses amongst married couples have
been together for more than fifteen years when asked about
how they're marriage lasted is that their partner is their

(30:36):
best friend or they like their partner as a person.
So what enables these kind of close relationships to form.
That is what we are going to discuss in this
next segment. I guess okay, So there are three important
factors that enable close relationships. Number one attachment style. Number

(30:57):
two equity, which we kind of already talked about. Number
three is self disclosure. Starting with attachment style, so attachment theory,
it's really really popular these days in pop culture, but
it suggests that a particular weekly learn a particular attachment
style as infants from our caregivers, and this kind of
becomes our working model. And what attraction and relationship should

(31:20):
look like later in life. There's kind of a bit
of debate about how many there are, but I think
they're therefore so secure. This is rooted in trust and
marked by intimacy. Preoccupied, it's marked by someone's own sense
of unworthiness and anxiety within a relationship we have dismissive.
This is an avoidant relationship marked by distrust for others

(31:41):
and fearful. And it's an avoidant relationship marked by a
fear of rejection. So those with secure attachment styles are
most successful in romantic relationships where attraction has initially formed
or passionate love has initially formed. They also appear to
have more enduring relationships and they report more satisfaction. It's important, though.

(32:02):
I think we see a lot of like tiktoks and
Instagram reels, and it's everywhere about what your attachment style is,
and it's not predictive. It is in part determined by
the person you're with, their behavior and the state of
your relationships. And human brains are also plastic, so you
can change what your attachment style is and unlearned schemers
or things that you've learned from your parents or other

(32:25):
caregivers or people around you equity. So this is a
condition under which the outcomes that people receive are proportional
to what they contribute to a relationship. So people in
a stable, long term relationship, they're unconcerned with short term
equity and tend not to keep track of what they're
giving and receiving. And this is a really healthy long

(32:46):
term equity strategy. If you're not keeping track of who's
giving more, you often tend to be happier because it
always comes around. Finally, self disclosure, and this is the
thing I kind of find most interesting. So this kind
of refers to feeling intimate aspects of oneself to others,
and this really creates greater attraction in a more deep

(33:06):
attraction and connection. So in persistent, growing relationships, partners often
show increasing self disclosure, and this seems to be driven
by principles of disclosure reciprocity, and the tendency to match
each other's level of self disclosure. Attraction, Like we've discussed,
it builds from biology, but it is molded by our environment,

(33:30):
and we can eventually create long lasting, stable love from
that initial spark if we follow kind of some of
those almost rules of equity and self disclosure and trust.
But I just think it's really interesting. You know, we've
kind of investigated and talked about that initial feeling and
that hormonal rush you know, due to voice and drew
to smell and due to attractiveness. But then when we

(33:52):
add in factors like proximity and familiarity, reciprocity and similarity,
it shows that, you know, it's kind of almost deterministic
who we fall for, who we find attractive. It's probably
you know, someone you live close to, someone you see
a lot, someone who you have things in common with,
someone from your neighborhood. So we may not have as
much choice as we think. Anyhow, I hope that episode

(34:16):
was informative. I hope that you've learned something about maybe
your type, your love map, what makes you attracted to
certain people and not to others. And I think that's
super important. In our twenties, we're attracted to a lot
of people, people are really attractive, we're ruling the bang
because I don't know, it's that time. So knowing like
why you fall for those certain people is really important,

(34:38):
I think, or just interesting to know, Like next time
you find yourself having a crush, think about some of
those factors that we've talked about. You know, it's just
because they're like your next door neighbor, or just because
you're both like Star Wars or something like that. Obviously
not to be taken too seriously. I'm not a professional,
but I hope that you enjoyed this episode. And yeah,

(34:59):
I'm back on the pod cast grind, so more episodes
are coming in the future. I think next week we're
definitely going to talk about the psychology of life transitions,
which is a huge thing for your twenties, and yeah,
that anxiety around it as well. And if you like
this episode, remember to subscribe the podcast. It's on Apple, Spotify, Google,
so many other places. And thanks to all the support

(35:20):
and thanks for bearing with me while I had a
little break. Can't wait to record a few more things soon,
and thank you for listening.