July 24, 2024 • 46 mins
The stew is bubbling! In the second part of the good girls and bad girls series, Iyanla and her guests get right into it. Damon "Bware" Vanzant is immediately put on the hot seat: would he marry a former bad girl? While Coach Stormy Wellington talks about doing the work to reform and find her feminine energy so that she can show up as the best version of herself for her partner. Lastly, the group tackles submission and what that looks like in a relationship.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I am a Yamla. I've been very open about the
fact that I was not always good at making my
relationships work. I have been divorced three times, twice from
the same person. In other words, I have seen a
lot and failed a lot in my relationships. So I
am here to share with you what I learned along
(00:23):
the way because I did take copious notes. Welcome to
the AR Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
with iHeartRadio. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. This is the R Spot.
(00:49):
I am a yam La, and this is part two
of a juicy, Juicy juicy conversation how bad girls become
good and how good girls go bad? Or flip it around,
how do good girls go bad and bad girls become good?
We started the conversation last week with my two guests,
(01:11):
Beware and Stormy Wellington coach Stormy, who is a reform
bad girl. She helped me understand that I actually was
a bad girl. I didn't even know it, but she
helped me understand that. And I can own it. I
can own it because the good and bad definition doesn't
(01:31):
come from the world. It comes from your heart and
who you become and when you look back and saw
who you were? What do you call that based on
who you are today? Well, in this episode, we are
going to do a deep dive into the complexities of
the good girl and the bad girl personas. Because it
(01:53):
is a persona, it's not the truth. It's a part
of an experience and maybe your history. But at all times,
in all situations, you have the power to change, to transform.
Can a bad girl be reformed into a good girl?
And again, who's defining good and bad? I'm going to
(02:15):
be joined today again by my two guests, Beware van
zandt some relationship and coach Stormy Wellington, a reformed bad girl,
and we're going to unpack these questions, some of them
that I'm really interested in. Can a man take as
(02:35):
his wife a reformed bad girl? Can that happen? I mean,
can he whether she was on the pole or on
the corner, whether she was a gold digger? Will a
man marry a woman who acknowledges her past, her history?
And how exactly does a good girl go bad? What
(02:58):
makes that happen? And finally, how does a bad girl
do the work that's required to reform to transform? How
does she do that? What does she need to do.
Where does she begin? Where did she find the help?
We're gonna look at that and so much more as
we continue today the bad Girl Good Girl conversation. Mister Beware,
(03:33):
let me ask you this question. Would you wife a stripper?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Woof? You know I have to be honest. You know
I understand them. I come from that world. So if
I was a female, I probably would have been stripping
versus what I was doing in the street, So I
don't judge them.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Would your wife a stripper? If she, let's say, Miss Stormy,
Miss Stormy who?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
But Miss Stormy says she wasn't promiscuous, so she she
doesn't have chance. So that means she doesn't have a
hot body count. Yeah, she.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Stripping doesn't have anything to do with a body count.
She was a stripper and a dancer, she wasn't promiscuous.
Here's the question, mister Beware. Would you wife a stripper
a woman who hundreds or maybe thousands of men have
seen on the pole half naked displaying her feminine progress.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
No, No, I'm not. I'm not that strong.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Go ahead, and miss Stormy get it going, and I.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Have to say something. I have to say something to you.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Mister, beware, first of all, I want to I got
to represent for the women. First of all, I'm gonna
tell you something. There are so many things we could
do in energetically and spiritually to release ourself of the
sperm tithes and the soul ties.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
So I would tell you do not judge a woman
by that.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
If she's overcome her her past, right, if she's done
the work. There's a lot of ways that we all
know that she can get rid of that sperm count
and she wants to right. And so I think, what
if this woman has been through something and that has
made her the woman she is, who is now a
virtuous woman, who is now a woman who can speak
to a king. But she was young and she didn't
(05:28):
have no choice. What what if what if I didn't,
you know, protect myself from sex, and I had sex
and I was a stripper. I know for a fact
that I am no longer what I used to be.
And as a matter of fact, maybe you should think
about this, mster. Be where the type of man I
could tell you are. I don't even know you, but
I could feel your spirit and I could.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Hear your tone.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
You come from some stuff that you no longer represent
what if women judged you by who you.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Used to be and what you used to do.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
But if you remember, one of the first things I
said was I can't judge. I said, I won't judge.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
He's the preference that he specifically wouldn't wife A.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Strip emphasis on that. I want to put a little
just a little emphasis on it, right, and and just explain.
I agree with with you said. If she if she
did her work and she cleansed us, she cleansed herself
up and cleansed her lafe and now she's a virtual
woman and moving on an alignment into our divine simon. Yeah,
I'm with that. Well, when I say I'm not that strong,
(06:33):
let me just talk for myself, miss Stormy, right, because yes,
because I'm sure that I'm not in a place where
I can be okay if I'm out with my woman,
and every everywhere we go, she's running into people that
saw her in that position, that saw her body or
experience that. Where a man is very protective when it
(06:54):
comes to his woman, part of our divine nature is
to protect. So when it comes to our woman, you
know that that's somebody that we will put our life
on the line to protect her. So, am I gonna
put my life on the line for someone that has
a very spider history who didn't clean it up. No,
But if she did clean it up and she's moving righteously,
(07:15):
then then I could definitely could probably look at that. However,
I'm just wanting to be clear that I'm me personally.
It'll be hard and most men, it's very hard for
you to receive that that your woman that was I
want to Yeah, I'm gonna give it an insight to
a man's mind really quickly. When your woman is being
(07:36):
sexual with you, right, you see her, hear her experience
in a very vulnerable situation and position, but she's submitting
to that, she's allowing that to take place. So when
you think about that with one hundred other men and
now you're running into them when you're out in the street,
(07:57):
especially in the work that I do, so it may
be a little challenging for me. For me, some other
people may be a little stronger at that area than
I am. But that means a lot to me and me.
If you know, a man wants a virtuous woman, You
want a woman that you know, you can feel, you
feel as if that not saying you're the only one
because you ain't gonna find virgins out here nowadays, but
(08:19):
as close as possible you can get to it.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm close to a virgin. I'm a recycled vergin. Let
me stir the stew just a little bit here, Okay. So,
a good girl is a virtuous woman who knows who
she is, who grounded in some level of spirituality, who
(08:43):
is available and demonstrates her highest potential impossibility most of
the time unless you pluck a less nerve than she
coming for you and her. Bad girl is not so
much one who has had bad behavior if she's reformed.
But a bad girl is one who doesn't know herself,
(09:03):
who's not grounded in anything spiritually, who is out for
what the fun, the excitement, and and really doesn't value
I think, miss Stormy, she's shaped by the world. That's
a good, good, good way, Miss Stormy. How does a
good girl, I know, not from necessity as in your
(09:26):
story and the story of so many other young women
out here or who've been out here. How does a
good girl go bad? I'm thinking of Jasmine Sullivan's song
Make us sad, make us mad, and then wonder why
we go bad, Miss Stormy. How does a good girl
(09:48):
go bad?
Speaker 4 (09:51):
A great course that I will tell you for me,
I've been there. I think one of the ways the
good girl goes bad, It could be a lot of ways.
One of the ways. I think sometime women are desperate.
I think a lot of women these days are lonely.
Men are very slim picking. We want to be loved,
We want some intimacy, we want some sex, we want
(10:11):
some support. And sometimes we can set off for any
man just because we need some type of companionship.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
And so next thing, you know, you got a boss
dating a bond.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
Next thing, you know, you got a queen you know, dating,
you know, someone that she ain't got no business dating.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
And because she.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah the magician, uh huh.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Yeah, you got you got her dating someone she had
no business dating. And then she gets caught up because
a lot of times when a girl is good, she
comes with perks, and she comes with value.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
She may have a car, she may have a house, she.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
May have some money, and so, uh you know, she she,
you know, brings a lot of value to this man.
And then when you start having sex with this man
and don't let it feel good. You know, now you're
in trouble, and then a good girl. I tell you,
most good girls are not promiscuous. So once she sleeps
with you condom and no condom, she thinks, she said, yeah,
she thinks to your wife, and she's treating you like
(11:05):
a king. That treating you like she's your wife when
you just wanted to, you know, have sex with her,
or you just want to use her for her car
or use her for her money, and she falls for
you believing that she could change you. Because I'm talking
from my perspective. I've dated in the past and thought,
because I'm so splunny, wasn'ton. Like I almost was about
to tell mister be where you talk all that. If
I wasn't in a relationship and you wasn't married, I
(11:27):
bet you could change your mind about marrying an ex
stripper or marrying somebody that was a stripper.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It depends on the person.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You better run that resume. No, So I'm just.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Saying I could change anybody's mind, And I definitely used
to think that.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Now that I'm mature and I understand.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
You know, once a man reached into his adulthood, you
know ages, he has to want to change for himself.
So when that good girl allows the man to have
sex with her, oh my god, please don't let her
release no steaming at her. Oh my god, Please don't
let him spend the night too many nights. Oh my god,
please don't let him ride the car. Next you know,
she falls in love with somebody, and who knows where
that could go. She says, that's her boyfriend. He think
(12:07):
they just having sex.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
She claiming him.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
You know, she don't realize he got all kind of
stuff going on. And next thing you know, she loses
her stuff worth, She forgets who she is, Her money
start getting funny, she get fuzzy in her mind, she
lose clarity of who she is, her standards, and she
wakes up one day and realizes what have I done?
And it could be a year, two years. I could
tell you I fell into that trap for like five years,
(12:31):
and I woke up one day and I wrote a
set of new rules that helped me to build back
my personal virtue. Because just because you got money, you know,
don't mean that you make good decisions. Just because you're
brass don't mean you make good decisions. And I'm just
telling you a lot of women are lonely out here.
You know a lot of women wants some relationship and
they'll settle for any man. And then next you know, she.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Looks up and she turns into a whole other woman.
She loses herself. So I just want to.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Say that, you know, really, really a good girl could
go bad by the wrong man, and the choice that
she makes in that relationship, on that connection.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
What I want to add to that is that two
things you talked about, she had a good job or
money and stuff like that. You know that means something
to women. Men don't look at women for that. You
could be if you're attractive and I'm drawing to your energy,
you could be at McDonald's and I'm gonna try to
talk to you.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Well, no, we're talking about how.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
We talked about how a good girl go We talking
about how a good girl when you.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Talk about the value, I already mentioned something about value.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
But no, no, no, we're talking about what mister b Well,
we're talking about a good girl.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I'm now I'm no longer a bad girl. Right, let's
change the subject.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Right, I'm a good girl now either I'm a.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I'm a good girl.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I got a nice house. I'm already submissive because that's
who I am. I've learned the power of feminine energy.
So I am feminine power because it's feminine power, and
feminine energy brings a feminine power. So I'm all these things.
And here comes this man. He's charming me. He's sexy.
He opens the door for me. He he, he says
thank you and please. He understand how to be a man.
(14:00):
And I get tricked right.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
In his mother's basement.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Oh my god, and this, and he goes to church
and he prays with me. He holds my hand, he
kisses me on the forehead. He doesn't try to sleep
with me fast and throw.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I fall for him.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
And then we get in the relationship.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
And next you know, I find out that he lives
in his mother's basement, he had bad credit, he doesn't
have no health on kids, he's not grounded spiritually, he
has no vent to a no coach. And I find
out that he's a bomb and he's been barring his
mom car. And next you know, we've slept with each
other and he could in bed and we did it
with no condom. Oh my god, that I posted him
(14:34):
on my Instagram page. Now, how do I get out
of that? Now?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
My self estimous effect.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Kids.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
You know what I'm saying there?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
What I would say to that? He's what I would
say to that. And I'm a share one of Missila's
famous quotes, wonder for from more all of our books,
but specifically acts of faith that we draw to us. Uh.
People come into our life by energetic invitation. Right, So
there was something that that sister needed to clean up.
(15:06):
He'll learn see about herself that maybe she was us
seeing that ladship brought it to the surface. For now.
On an external one may say what I was a
bad situation, But if this, if that, if that's that
woman was able to learn, if she was able to
get whatever it was that life was trying to teach
her through that relationship, it wasn't a bad situation. But
(15:26):
if she wasn't already on that channel, if those issues
weren't in her, if it wasn't something she needed to
clean up and heal, she would have never drawn that
man to her. So it was something that she needed
to see in herself. Miss Storming, That's what I was.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
So wat's this big whare I love that? But I
love to be authentic and transparent. My mom died August
twenty six, twenty eleven. I'm holding her hand. I thought
my mom was coming home from the hospital. That I
thought she was coming home from the hospital that day.
I'm a millionaire. I'm riding around and Benzi's and cadillect trucks.
I'm doing big things in the world, and I'm a boss, right,
(16:01):
But then I've watched my mom take her last breath.
When you lose your mom, you feel like you're in
the world by yourself. It feels empty, right, And so
I meet this guy who is Prince Charming. He's handsome,
he has a great job, he takes military he's doing
I mean, we will celebrate. We go to church, We
read the Bible, you know. He opens the door, he
kisses me on the fore here. He tells me he
(16:21):
loves me. He tells me I'm pretty, He's he's everything,
well endowed all of that, And I got tricked. And
you're right, I had lost myself because I lost my mom.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
So, yes, I do believe.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
That I invited this man in my life by energetic invitation.
I accept that's what I did. But I lost myself
so much in that relationship that if I didn't find
myself again. I can't tell you where I will be
right now, and so I just want whoever watches this
or here's this interview, shall I say to know that
those energetic invitations they can expire, and when you change,
(16:57):
go higher after those energetic relationationships fall off, and know
that it is okay that that season is over. I
marry this man. I'm fighting that decision right now. So
I'm still dealing with something that I invited through energetic invitation.
But I also didn't next. I didn't act for that.
I didn't ask to watch my mom take her last breath.
(17:18):
But I do realize that what does a kivy made
me stronger and what I experienced with that invitation is
now a gift. And I'm here for women to advocate
for them, to tell them be careful where you have
kids with, Be careful when you do what you do
when your emotions is high, because when your emotions is high,
your logic is low, and you may pay for that
decision for years. What if you catch a herpes or
(17:40):
something else you can't cure? So yes, it's sexually transmitted diseases.
That spiritually transmitted diseases that we got to be careful love.
So I accept what I did, but I know that
it's not a life sentence. It was just a part
of the story.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
We'll talk about that right after the spring. Welcome back
to the R spot. Let's get back to the conversation.
You're dropping so many gems. But I don't want people
to think they're rhyme stone, So let me just reiterate
(18:13):
what Miss Stormy has said. She says, when that thing
you just said and help me brain work with me.
You said, when you're high in your emotions, you are
low in logic. Hear that, ladies, because energy moves you.
Emotions are the energy that moves you. So when you
move in fast and your feelings, you were gonna be
(18:35):
deficit in your thinking. I love that again. It brings
me to the words of Jasmine Sullivan in her song,
which she says, treat us bad, make us sad, and
then wonder why we're mad. Mister beware, do you think
(18:57):
that some bad girls are just mad?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Ad?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
The ones who are aggressive in there speaking, the ones
who are disrespectful and emasculating toward men. Is it not
that they want to be bad, but they're mad and
they haven't done the work that miss Stormy does. Is
that a possibility.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Mister beware, No, that's that's definitely you hit the nail
right on the head. Stormy Stormy. She explained it well,
you know, she said that she she can't join awareness,
you know that awareness, that's where it started for her.
And she started doing work and then she raised herself
above that that energy, that energetic invitation when she said
(19:37):
expired and and and that's for everybody. That's for all
of the sisters and for men, also for men also
because again, if you if the brother is drawing a
woman and this is how he's showing up, then she
her her pain. What she's experienced in him is the
invitation for him to pay attention.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Not to take advantage of her pay.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
But that's what happens. Is like the sister that not
growled in the knowledge of self, the brother that's not
growled in the knowledge of self. Let me tell you
how he is right, because I don't want to put
it on the sisters. He's a predator. He's a he
is out there looking for the pray how a lion
(20:24):
is linking for that gazelle, that that wounded gazel, that
one that's easy to pounce on. He's doing the same
exact thing, and when he sees it, his antennas are
growing up and he's going in for the kill. So
so so it's what you said, Stormy. When when sisters
make a rational, a quick decision, emotionally right or impulsively,
(20:49):
that's what he's looking for. He's hoping she does that. Heah,
you're looking for that.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Here's another possibility. She's living her wounds. She's living from
her woundedness, not from her wellness. She's living from her pain,
not from her power. And he is really doing the
same thing. Because a man, a king who diminishes or
(21:15):
demoralizes a quing, he's living from his wound. He's living
from his pain. So those two things, they say opposites attract,
But in truth, you will attract the frequency of your
own wound. So they are all kinds of possibilities that
bring them together to the ladies out there, And thank you,
(21:38):
Jasmine Sullivan for bringing it to our awareness. If he's
treating you bad and he's making you sad, don't get mad,
get well, because if you get it, running for your life.
But here's the thing that concerns me, and I say it,
(22:01):
you know very clearly, I do not have a high
body count. But I can confess to being a bad
girl because I had a bad character, and I had
a bad character because I was living from my wounds.
And what that bad character looked like for me is
(22:21):
what I call my hair was on fire. I wasn't
honest with myself or him. You know. I let him
think that certain things were acceptable when they weren't. I
wasn't accountable to myself for what I wanted, what I needed,
and I didn't hold him accountable for his behavior. My
(22:42):
personal integrity was smoldering in a heap on the floor.
I said one thing, thought one thing, felt something else,
and I wasn't responsible for myself. I wanted him to
make me happy. I wanted him to pay the rent.
I wanted him to, you know, do everything I wanted
him to do. So my hair was on fire. That's
(23:04):
what gave me bad character. I would never cuss a man.
I would never do things to emasculate him outwardly. Inwardly
I would, but outwardly I wouldn't. And so my point
is to our listeners, is a bad girl isn't just
a stripper or a dancer. You know, it's the one
(23:26):
who's rot is on the inside. Now Howard shows up
on the outside. Maybe what can he give me? What
can he buy me? Because I've heard young women say
this on the tiki tak or whatever that thing is.
You know, I want a man that makes six figures.
I want a man who can do this. And she
don't have a high school diploma. To me, that's a
(23:47):
bad girl. Is that accurate? Miss Stormy?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Well, you know I love you with the love, but
I dropped out of school in the tenth grade.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
But you didn't graduate from high school. I when I
didn't go to college.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
No, that's when you were a bad girl. I'm talking
about today, in today's world, women who have made the
choice again, no judgment, no heed about it. But she's
made the choice that as opposed to growing herself. Like
I heard Ace Metaphors say this. He said, sisters are
getting their hair done, they're getting the nail done, they
(24:21):
going to the gym and growing their body, but they're
not growing their spiritual foundation. He said. If you grow
your spiritual foundation, you can tell from ten feet away
that he ain't the one for you. I'm talking about
is it a bad girl. A woman who does all
of the physical stuff, looks good, sounds good, smells good,
(24:43):
and expects the man to make her whole. See, to me,
that's a bad girl. Do you understand what I mean?
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I agree because I further I believe in the power
of the master mind alliance. And what if you get
with the king in your bank, you just affected a
few of the men that we got left. So if
a bad girl gets with the king, now he forgets
his words.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
We just created a bigger problem.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
So absolutely, I think when a woman identifies with her
weaknesses and where she can grow. If she does that
and she works on it and she accepts where she is,
oh that's a good girl all day long. But if
you are in denial about who you are and where
you need to grow, and you act like it's okay.
You ever heard this saying when people say you know
(25:30):
it is what it is, this is who I am?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
You know, taking a lead that said that a lot today,
that's eigering. So when you identify where you are and
who you are and where.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
You can grow, even if you're in the midst of
there right now, to me, and you're willing to change
your character, and you know that that is within your
reach just because you're working on it. As you are
working on it, I think you should already start seeing
yourself as a good girl. But if you are in
denial and you're just staying just nasty and your character
is bad, and you know you domasculate man and you
(26:00):
commiss you with and you're just like, oh, well, yeah,
you all the way back you you you mods were
just throwing a toweling, you.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Know, mister b ware, here's a question for you. Can
a man inspire a bad girl to be good? Okay?
Tell me how? How does he inspire her to do that?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
There's a teaching that the nation is and that is
so I spoke on it earlier. But when you look
at the sun right, what the sun does when it shines,
it gives off light. That light that the sun gives
off enables us to see. Not only does it enable
us to see, but it enables us to have the
(26:45):
food that we need to keep our laps going. Not
only does it enable us to see and provide us
with food that we need to have our labs go,
but it also protects us from harmful elements of the universe.
So the sun protects, it provides, and it leads. So
that's the job of a man. So a grounded a
(27:05):
man that's grounded and the knowledge of himself, and he's
shining that light on the moon. That moon is going
to show up, and she's going to receive that light
from the sun. She's going to begin on a take
on his ways, or take on his habits, to take
on his patterns. And what happens with that is at
first it's more nature taking course. Well, what happens a
(27:29):
period of time, and I can speak from my own
personal experiences, is that now it begins to set in
and she begins to be almost like a female representation
of the man.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Miss Stormy. Let me ask you this question because I've
heard it on you know, and it disturbs me. I
heard it when men say women today are this, they're
too aggressive, and they're to this, and they're to that,
and they only want money and they want a man
who does this, and they ain't bringing nothing to the table,
(28:02):
and all of these things I hear and mostly among young,
the youngsters, the youngins how does as a woman, how
would you as a woman if you're a bad girl
or you're a recovering bad girl. What is it that
you would want a man to be and do? Notice
I said be and do that would inspire you to
(28:25):
go good.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
So great question. I want to say. I'm in a
relationship right now.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
I've been in this relationship for a little over a year,
and this is honestly the first man and I just
take to say this, but the first man that I
want to respect. He's very alpha, very alpha. We've been
in almost a year and a half. He opens the
door still, he's still whenever we were together. We don't
live with each other. He wakes up with good energy
(28:52):
and he sings good morning. He makes me feel protected.
He lives in his house. I live in my house.
Does he pay my bills? I pay my own bills
when when I'm married. However, the way he shows up
in the world, me watching him as a father, me
watching him as a friend, me watching him take care
of himself, me watching him do manly things, makes me
want to respect him. But when I look at when
(29:16):
women are emasculating and rude, like I have friends like that.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I have some rich friends.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Women and they're single, and I'm telling you, I watch
them and I look at their body language. I'm look
at how they talk, and I'm like, what man will want?
Will want that? What man would want a woman that
that treats the light? I'm dating another man. It's like,
come on, man, I don't care how rich you. I
don't even care how pretty old weave is. I want
you to touch me on my back when I'm driving.
I want you to, you know, put your hand on
(29:41):
my leg.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I want you to know.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
I want you to kids my cheek too. I want
you to rub my back. You ain't got to give
me no big time aside, but I want you to
rub my bak too. I want you know, I want
me personally. I think the man should pay for the
meals and the dates. But if the woman want to
take her man on a date and pay every now
and then, what's wrong with that? So I just think
that you know, the roles have changed and it shouldn't
be about money.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
It should be about like the character. If a man.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Shows up as a man and he shows you are
kingly qualities, he is deeply rooted in whatever his spiritual
practices is.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
He knows that he is not a god. He is
of a god, and not a god, but.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
Of and he knows how to affirm me like I
love the five love languages. One of my powerful love
languages is I love words of affirmation and quality time.
I'm always working, I'm always busy, but if you can
remind me of who I am, speak to the queen
in me. You know, when you feel like I'm a
little discouraged, you pump me up. I pump you back up.
(30:38):
That gets me just spired up. And so, just to
answer your question, I think that, yeah, you know, we
as women have to respect that. This is twenty twenty four.
This is not back in the old days. We do
input the man. But I respect my man, and I'm
gonna be honest with you. I'm so happy, like I
never met a man that makes me want to make
(30:59):
his play and put the napkin down and pick up
the playing. And baby wants something to drink, I call
him baby, Baby wants something to drink. When he's talking,
I look at him, I don't say I gotta go pee.
I be right back, my baby. I'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
I'm gonna go to the restroom.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Okay when a fall, When my fall rings and he's talking,
if I have to take the call, I'm gonnay, excuse me,
baby one minute, let me take this call. The old
one would be like, hello, he talking, you know when
he opens my door for me? Every time he opens
the door. Y'all gonna love this. Every time I say
thank you every time, not like like he's supposed to
do it. So I love making him feel like a king.
(31:36):
And I didn't know the power that's reciprocated in the
and the energy that comes back to me when I
give it to him. And I tell you this, there's
been times where he made me feel some kind of
way and I want to stay. Like the old we
would have been, like who you think you talking to her?
I just to be quiet and I play some music
and I'll start dancing like a woman off some feminist song,
not talking to him, but just act like it didn't
(31:56):
bother me. And he'll come back and he'll say, I'm sorry,
I know that was wrong, and I don't even say nothing,
so I need to be compet I don't do that
no more.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Let me ask you a question, Miss Stormy, does your
does your boo have a brother? Right?
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Right?
Speaker 5 (32:16):
That?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Mis mss Stormy, I really appreciate you for sharing that,
because you know a lot of it's like in my
own experiences, those small things that men will open up
the door and and and being protective, like, you know,
I really appreciate the fact that you appreciate it. And
then you're speaking to that because a lot of sisters
(32:37):
from just talking to them and what I'm seeing a
lot on social media and Instagram's reflective of how the
dating scene is. Then you know they sisters need to
hear that. And why and why I'm saying from you
is because when they told me that you were the
co host, I looked you up and I was like, oh,
I heard of this. I heard of this, sister before.
Your name has come up in a couple of times
(32:59):
of people were stating or where we're citing things that
you said, young sisters, to the fact that you're on
this call and you're saying what you're saying, I really
appreciate and I just want to acknowledge that.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Thank you, Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I think that's so beautiful. Thank you, Beware, thank you,
Miss Stormy. Good girl's gone bad, bad girls becoming good.
We're going to talk more about that right after this.
Welcome back to the R Spot. Let's get back to
the conversation. Here is something that I think creates a
(33:36):
lot of friction and will make a good girl bad
and make a bad girl lose her mind. And that
is the word submissive. Miss Stormy as a recovered bad
girl as a boss, because you are a boss, but
your bossness comes from the inside, not from the outside.
(33:57):
I think that's a distinction too, that a lot of
women don't make. They think the boss is in their
behavior and in their words, and not from their heart
and their soul. But as a bad girl who's recovered
as a boss, as a spiritually grounded woman, as a
self aware woman in a relationship, how would you define
(34:18):
intoday's world submissive? How would you differ?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
First of all, I would say, ladies, submission is sexy. Yes,
submission is sexy. Yes, where you find a king? And
I got to be honest. I used to be the
woman that would call you a king, and you was
no king at all.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
I was just.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Your hair was on fire. You wasn't being host accountable,
having integrity or responsibility.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
No, ma'am, no, ma'am.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
And I was fate trying to be, you know, acquaint
to somebody that wasn't even a king. But when a
man shows kingly qualities, Like, I tell you something one
of my mentors told me. He said, if a man
sleep late, talk slow, all right, you better run fast.
If a man sleeplate and talk slow and walk slow,
(35:18):
you better run fast. And I want to stay that
right now because I believe, like like mister b Ware said,
a man's qualities does impact a woman and influences a woman.
If he has his own I call it Chris. You
gonna like this, Yanda, I call it Chris. What does
Chris mean? A man has credit? He cares about this Craig.
He takes care of his credit. That's the seeing Chris.
(35:40):
H he has some type of health through team rather,
he works out, He does something to keep his body
in shape. That's the age, the r real estate. He
got a place to live. Men these days better they know.
They don't even have their own plate sofa surfing. Yes,
they don't have play. If they have a home, that's beautiful.
(36:03):
If he has some type of investments. If you're dating
a man in his forties, in his fifties, he hasn't
set himself up to make no type of passive income.
He don't have no type of business. That's to me,
that's dangerous. And then asking Chris is support. It is
spiritual support. If you have a man to have Chris,
that is a man worthy of being submissive with because
(36:24):
you're gonna help even empower him the war, so credit, health,
real estate, investments and a support and a spiritual support team.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Is a man that you should want to submit to because.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Now y'all have that power of that master amount alliance
and bigger things are going to happen because you're bringing
out the best in him and because you're bringing out
the best in him, like Mester b Where's said, He's
gonna bring out the best in you. And that is
the man that you submit to. Other than that, don't submit.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I want to give him a last name. His name,
first name Chris, last name v v I. He gotta
have vision and he gotta have integrity, right Chris vi I,
that's his name. Mister Beware, As a man in today's world,
how would you define submissive or submit?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Whether today's world or yesterday's world, I think is still
the same because that submission is that feminine activating, that
feminine energy of God in you. I heard miss Anna
say one time one of her one of our lectures,
she said, to be a woman's to allow the feminine
energy to vibrate in you as you at its highest frequency.
(37:39):
So what does that mean? So that's that would mean
that you're tapped into what God is in you. So
submission with me to tap into what God is in you.
And as a woman, that's that feminine energy. But that's
strength to tap into God. And as a lot of
what you said, what you for you and Stormy spoke
(38:01):
up earlier sisters that are in tapped into that, it's
impossible for them to be submissive if they're not tapped
into God, because that God energy is going to allow
them to be submissive. And like like Stormy said, it's
going to be sexy, it's going to be fun. I'm
pretty sure it's got to be very liberated for a
(38:22):
woman to be who God designed her to be. Because
this world is trying to shape us and move us
and narrate us, navigate us so many directions that it
is so easy to lose yourself. So to be grounded
with self and with self, to be grounded and that
femini energy as a woman to be submissive, that means
(38:45):
you're speaking to the God and your man because you're
tapped into God and that feminine energy. That means that
you know, even if they're upset, I hear this is
something else I heard. Yah. Let's say she said, you know,
let's hear front carefront me versus confront me. You know,
it's a it's a different conversation that you bring in
even when there's a challenge of evenings on the table.
(39:06):
So that submission looks like her being that that representation
of God within her and she's showing it. So it
comes from the inside out and it's in the step
happening the power one of the Alas books tapping the
power within, so that that's what it would look like
when you when you're being submissive, you're tapping the power within,
and that power within is the God in that feminine energy.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
That's see well that I think what many women haven't
been taught. And you can tell me, miss Stormy, your
take on this. First of all, there are very few
demonstrations of feminine power in the world. In my mind,
the greatest one that I've seen is my first kating
Michelle Obama. She is a walking, living, breathing talking demonstration
(39:50):
of feminine power. One of the things that I've learned
about feminine power that I think many women miss is
the number one essence of feminine power is silence. You know,
the sun comes up in the day when people are
hustling and bustling, the moon comes up at night when
it's quiet, everybody's sleep. And women don't appreciate the power
(40:14):
of silence because when you're silent, what happens is your
heart speaks. I think the other thing that women don't
appreciate about feminine power is that it is nurturing, nourishing.
It is appreciative, it is appreciative, and it is affirming.
(40:37):
So as we learn to nourish ourselves and nourish others,
nurture ourselves and nurture others, as we learn to appreciate
every good thing, every good thing, and appreciate even the
bad things, because as you said, Miss Stormy, they're coming
to teach us something. And as we learn to affirm
(40:58):
as opposed to criticize, judge, condemned, gossip, tear down to fame.
The level of deformation in the world today, particularly by
women on social media. You know, it's just to me,
I just I don't even know how to calculate it. Misstorman,
let me say this to you. I love you, and
(41:23):
I am so proud of who you are demonstrating God
in the feminine physical form as a woman. I think
what you what you have done with your heart, not
with your life, because God gave you life, but what
(41:43):
you've done with your heart to turn your life around,
is a testimony to the power of grace and mercy,
both of which are feminine aspects of God. Anything, at
any time, any place, anywhere, you need me. You you
(42:06):
call me, and I'm just I'm just I'm just proud
of you. I'm just grinning over here.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
You today have validated that everything.
Speaker 4 (42:18):
That I believe about what you deserve and and how
you will align with your people in time. This, this
conversation today has validated for me that I am growing
and I'm really just getting started. You know, mister, be
where I can quote with you, So I think I
throw one of my favorite quotes. See he getting all
(42:38):
the brownie points. I want some bo Okay. You say
to your yo, your willingness to look at your darkness
is what empowers you to change. And I tell you
one of my favorite books is them. I read it
every single day. This book changed my life right and
I look in my darkness every single day, and before
(43:00):
I go to bed, I asked myself, did I do
well with my day?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Did I show up? Did I serve humanity with my day?
Speaker 4 (43:08):
Even in the pain, even then the trauma, even in
the bs, I still ask myself did I serve my fellows,
sisters and men today? And before I go to bed,
when I say yes, I am proud to go to
sleep knowing that I deserve rest, to wake up willing
and ready to do it all over again tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
I do need your help. I'll tell you this. I
serve a community of women that are the least, the last,
and the lost.
Speaker 4 (43:33):
And when they see me as a highly school drop
ex stripper, I used to be on food stamp Station eight.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I have three kids, three different.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Like me, was wealthire, I had food stamps. I have
three children by three different men. Yeah, my.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Mother had foodstamps too, and she was on.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Women's conversation. Get over there and be submissive.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
I didn't know that, but I gotta say that.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
I'm telling you women that's listening to this right now,
if you want an alpha man that could partake you,
that could provide for you, that could reinforce you and
revalidate you and aedify you. You are going to have
to learn silence because if you be combative, it looks
really tacky. When you could learn to be quiet when
he's going crazy or when he's not being what you need.
(44:21):
Be quiet and be patient and do go back and
address the situation when the energy is clear. Don't be
confrontational with no king or no man. Let the dust settle,
let the energy you know, kind of diminish and go down,
and then come back and say, baby, I want to
ask you a question, what does you mean by what
you what you said or that really hurt my feelings
(44:43):
when you said what you said?
Speaker 3 (44:44):
And I really love when you do x y Z
I love it.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
I love it, mister Bware. I want to I want
to thank you. I want to thank you for being
a voice for the voiceless, because so any men today
women talk so much and haven't been taught how to
listen or how to hear. So I want to thank you.
(45:09):
I hope that you have felt honored and respected. I
thank you for your voice today to be a voice
for the voiceless, a voice for those who get overtalked,
who get underheard, and who get diminished and dismissed. Thank
you so very much for being here. I want to
thank all my listeners today. I hope that you have
(45:31):
heard something here today about bad girls, good girls submission.
I hope that you got some of them gems that
they dropped. I couldn't even write fast enough, but I
got this. When you high an emotion, you low in thinking,
and that your energetic invitation has an expiration date. Thank you,
and see for me, as an elder to have a
(45:52):
young and take something that I said and expanded that
just puts hair on my chest. And since I'm unpartnered
right now, I can have a few little hairs on
my chests. But Stormy gonna hook me up with her
booze brother. Thank you for tuning in, Thank you for listening.
We will be back real soon and in the meantime,
(46:13):
stay in peace and not in pieces.
Speaker 5 (46:17):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
The R Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in
partnership with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite show,
I am a Yamla. I've been very open about the
fact that I was not always good at making my
relationships work. I have been divorced three times, twice from
the same person. In other words, I have seen a
lot and failed a lot in my relationships. So I
am here to share with you what I learned along
(00:23):
the way because I did take copious notes. Welcome to
the AR Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
with iHeartRadio. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. This is the R Spot.
(00:49):
I am a yam La, and this is part two
of a juicy, Juicy juicy conversation how bad girls become
good and how good girls go bad? Or flip it around,
how do good girls go bad and bad girls become good?
We started the conversation last week with my two guests,
(01:11):
Beware and Stormy Wellington coach Stormy, who is a reform
bad girl. She helped me understand that I actually was
a bad girl. I didn't even know it, but she
helped me understand that. And I can own it. I
can own it because the good and bad definition doesn't
(01:31):
come from the world. It comes from your heart and
who you become and when you look back and saw
who you were? What do you call that based on
who you are today? Well, in this episode, we are
going to do a deep dive into the complexities of
the good girl and the bad girl personas. Because it
(01:53):
is a persona, it's not the truth. It's a part
of an experience and maybe your history. But at all times,
in all situations, you have the power to change, to transform.
Can a bad girl be reformed into a good girl?
And again, who's defining good and bad? I'm going to
(02:15):
be joined today again by my two guests, Beware van
zandt some relationship and coach Stormy Wellington, a reformed bad girl,
and we're going to unpack these questions, some of them
that I'm really interested in. Can a man take as
(02:35):
his wife a reformed bad girl? Can that happen? I mean,
can he whether she was on the pole or on
the corner, whether she was a gold digger? Will a
man marry a woman who acknowledges her past, her history?
And how exactly does a good girl go bad? What
(02:58):
makes that happen? And finally, how does a bad girl
do the work that's required to reform to transform? How
does she do that? What does she need to do.
Where does she begin? Where did she find the help?
We're gonna look at that and so much more as
we continue today the bad Girl Good Girl conversation. Mister Beware,
(03:33):
let me ask you this question. Would you wife a stripper?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Woof? You know I have to be honest. You know
I understand them. I come from that world. So if
I was a female, I probably would have been stripping
versus what I was doing in the street, So I
don't judge them.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Would your wife a stripper? If she, let's say, Miss Stormy,
Miss Stormy who?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
But Miss Stormy says she wasn't promiscuous, so she she
doesn't have chance. So that means she doesn't have a
hot body count. Yeah, she.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Stripping doesn't have anything to do with a body count.
She was a stripper and a dancer, she wasn't promiscuous.
Here's the question, mister Beware. Would you wife a stripper
a woman who hundreds or maybe thousands of men have
seen on the pole half naked displaying her feminine progress.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
No, No, I'm not. I'm not that strong.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Go ahead, and miss Stormy get it going, and I.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Have to say something. I have to say something to you.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Mister, beware, first of all, I want to I got
to represent for the women. First of all, I'm gonna
tell you something. There are so many things we could
do in energetically and spiritually to release ourself of the
sperm tithes and the soul ties.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
So I would tell you do not judge a woman
by that.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
If she's overcome her her past, right, if she's done
the work. There's a lot of ways that we all
know that she can get rid of that sperm count
and she wants to right. And so I think, what
if this woman has been through something and that has
made her the woman she is, who is now a
virtuous woman, who is now a woman who can speak
to a king. But she was young and she didn't
(05:28):
have no choice. What what if what if I didn't,
you know, protect myself from sex, and I had sex
and I was a stripper. I know for a fact
that I am no longer what I used to be.
And as a matter of fact, maybe you should think
about this, mster. Be where the type of man I
could tell you are. I don't even know you, but
I could feel your spirit and I could.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Hear your tone.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
You come from some stuff that you no longer represent
what if women judged you by who you.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Used to be and what you used to do.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
But if you remember, one of the first things I
said was I can't judge. I said, I won't judge.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
He's the preference that he specifically wouldn't wife A.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Strip emphasis on that. I want to put a little
just a little emphasis on it, right, and and just explain.
I agree with with you said. If she if she
did her work and she cleansed us, she cleansed herself
up and cleansed her lafe and now she's a virtual
woman and moving on an alignment into our divine simon. Yeah,
I'm with that. Well, when I say I'm not that strong,
(06:33):
let me just talk for myself, miss Stormy, right, because yes,
because I'm sure that I'm not in a place where
I can be okay if I'm out with my woman,
and every everywhere we go, she's running into people that
saw her in that position, that saw her body or
experience that. Where a man is very protective when it
(06:54):
comes to his woman, part of our divine nature is
to protect. So when it comes to our woman, you
know that that's somebody that we will put our life
on the line to protect her. So, am I gonna
put my life on the line for someone that has
a very spider history who didn't clean it up. No,
But if she did clean it up and she's moving righteously,
(07:15):
then then I could definitely could probably look at that. However,
I'm just wanting to be clear that I'm me personally.
It'll be hard and most men, it's very hard for
you to receive that that your woman that was I
want to Yeah, I'm gonna give it an insight to
a man's mind really quickly. When your woman is being
(07:36):
sexual with you, right, you see her, hear her experience
in a very vulnerable situation and position, but she's submitting
to that, she's allowing that to take place. So when
you think about that with one hundred other men and
now you're running into them when you're out in the street,
(07:57):
especially in the work that I do, so it may
be a little challenging for me. For me, some other
people may be a little stronger at that area than
I am. But that means a lot to me and me.
If you know, a man wants a virtuous woman, You
want a woman that you know, you can feel, you
feel as if that not saying you're the only one
because you ain't gonna find virgins out here nowadays, but
(08:19):
as close as possible you can get to it.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm close to a virgin. I'm a recycled vergin. Let
me stir the stew just a little bit here, Okay. So,
a good girl is a virtuous woman who knows who
she is, who grounded in some level of spirituality, who
(08:43):
is available and demonstrates her highest potential impossibility most of
the time unless you pluck a less nerve than she
coming for you and her. Bad girl is not so
much one who has had bad behavior if she's reformed.
But a bad girl is one who doesn't know herself,
(09:03):
who's not grounded in anything spiritually, who is out for
what the fun, the excitement, and and really doesn't value
I think, miss Stormy, she's shaped by the world. That's
a good, good, good way, Miss Stormy. How does a
good girl, I know, not from necessity as in your
(09:26):
story and the story of so many other young women
out here or who've been out here. How does a
good girl go bad? I'm thinking of Jasmine Sullivan's song
Make us sad, make us mad, and then wonder why
we go bad, Miss Stormy. How does a good girl
(09:48):
go bad?
Speaker 4 (09:51):
A great course that I will tell you for me,
I've been there. I think one of the ways the
good girl goes bad, It could be a lot of ways.
One of the ways. I think sometime women are desperate.
I think a lot of women these days are lonely.
Men are very slim picking. We want to be loved,
We want some intimacy, we want some sex, we want
(10:11):
some support. And sometimes we can set off for any
man just because we need some type of companionship.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
And so next thing, you know, you got a boss
dating a bond.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
Next thing, you know, you got a queen you know, dating,
you know, someone that she ain't got no business dating.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
And because she.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah the magician, uh huh.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Yeah, you got you got her dating someone she had
no business dating. And then she gets caught up because
a lot of times when a girl is good, she
comes with perks, and she comes with value.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
She may have a car, she may have a house, she.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
May have some money, and so, uh you know, she she,
you know, brings a lot of value to this man.
And then when you start having sex with this man
and don't let it feel good. You know, now you're
in trouble, and then a good girl. I tell you,
most good girls are not promiscuous. So once she sleeps
with you condom and no condom, she thinks, she said, yeah,
she thinks to your wife, and she's treating you like
(11:05):
a king. That treating you like she's your wife when
you just wanted to, you know, have sex with her,
or you just want to use her for her car
or use her for her money, and she falls for
you believing that she could change you. Because I'm talking
from my perspective. I've dated in the past and thought,
because I'm so splunny, wasn'ton. Like I almost was about
to tell mister be where you talk all that. If
I wasn't in a relationship and you wasn't married, I
(11:27):
bet you could change your mind about marrying an ex
stripper or marrying somebody that was a stripper.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It depends on the person.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You better run that resume. No, So I'm just.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Saying I could change anybody's mind, And I definitely used
to think that.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Now that I'm mature and I understand.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
You know, once a man reached into his adulthood, you
know ages, he has to want to change for himself.
So when that good girl allows the man to have
sex with her, oh my god, please don't let her
release no steaming at her. Oh my god, Please don't
let him spend the night too many nights. Oh my god,
please don't let him ride the car. Next you know,
she falls in love with somebody, and who knows where
that could go. She says, that's her boyfriend. He think
(12:07):
they just having sex.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
She claiming him.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
You know, she don't realize he got all kind of
stuff going on. And next thing you know, she loses
her stuff worth, She forgets who she is, Her money
start getting funny, she get fuzzy in her mind, she
lose clarity of who she is, her standards, and she
wakes up one day and realizes what have I done?
And it could be a year, two years. I could
tell you I fell into that trap for like five years,
(12:31):
and I woke up one day and I wrote a
set of new rules that helped me to build back
my personal virtue. Because just because you got money, you know,
don't mean that you make good decisions. Just because you're
brass don't mean you make good decisions. And I'm just
telling you a lot of women are lonely out here.
You know a lot of women wants some relationship and
they'll settle for any man. And then next you know, she.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Looks up and she turns into a whole other woman.
She loses herself. So I just want to.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Say that, you know, really, really a good girl could
go bad by the wrong man, and the choice that
she makes in that relationship, on that connection.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
What I want to add to that is that two
things you talked about, she had a good job or
money and stuff like that. You know that means something
to women. Men don't look at women for that. You
could be if you're attractive and I'm drawing to your energy,
you could be at McDonald's and I'm gonna try to
talk to you.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Well, no, we're talking about how.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
We talked about how a good girl go We talking
about how a good girl when you.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Talk about the value, I already mentioned something about value.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
But no, no, no, we're talking about what mister b Well,
we're talking about a good girl.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I'm now I'm no longer a bad girl. Right, let's
change the subject.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Right, I'm a good girl now either I'm a.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I'm a good girl.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I got a nice house. I'm already submissive because that's
who I am. I've learned the power of feminine energy.
So I am feminine power because it's feminine power, and
feminine energy brings a feminine power. So I'm all these things.
And here comes this man. He's charming me. He's sexy.
He opens the door for me. He he, he says
thank you and please. He understand how to be a man.
(14:00):
And I get tricked right.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
In his mother's basement.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Oh my god, and this, and he goes to church
and he prays with me. He holds my hand, he
kisses me on the forehead. He doesn't try to sleep
with me fast and throw.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I fall for him.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
And then we get in the relationship.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
And next you know, I find out that he lives
in his mother's basement, he had bad credit, he doesn't
have no health on kids, he's not grounded spiritually, he
has no vent to a no coach. And I find
out that he's a bomb and he's been barring his
mom car. And next you know, we've slept with each
other and he could in bed and we did it
with no condom. Oh my god, that I posted him
(14:34):
on my Instagram page. Now, how do I get out
of that? Now?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
My self estimous effect.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Kids.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
You know what I'm saying there?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
What I would say to that? He's what I would
say to that. And I'm a share one of Missila's
famous quotes, wonder for from more all of our books,
but specifically acts of faith that we draw to us. Uh.
People come into our life by energetic invitation. Right, So
there was something that that sister needed to clean up.
(15:06):
He'll learn see about herself that maybe she was us
seeing that ladship brought it to the surface. For now.
On an external one may say what I was a
bad situation, But if this, if that, if that's that
woman was able to learn, if she was able to
get whatever it was that life was trying to teach
her through that relationship, it wasn't a bad situation. But
(15:26):
if she wasn't already on that channel, if those issues
weren't in her, if it wasn't something she needed to
clean up and heal, she would have never drawn that
man to her. So it was something that she needed
to see in herself. Miss Storming, That's what I was.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
So wat's this big whare I love that? But I
love to be authentic and transparent. My mom died August
twenty six, twenty eleven. I'm holding her hand. I thought
my mom was coming home from the hospital. That I
thought she was coming home from the hospital that day.
I'm a millionaire. I'm riding around and Benzi's and cadillect trucks.
I'm doing big things in the world, and I'm a boss, right,
(16:01):
But then I've watched my mom take her last breath.
When you lose your mom, you feel like you're in
the world by yourself. It feels empty, right, And so
I meet this guy who is Prince Charming. He's handsome,
he has a great job, he takes military he's doing
I mean, we will celebrate. We go to church, We
read the Bible, you know. He opens the door, he
kisses me on the fore here. He tells me he
(16:21):
loves me. He tells me I'm pretty, He's he's everything,
well endowed all of that, And I got tricked. And
you're right, I had lost myself because I lost my mom.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
So, yes, I do believe.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
That I invited this man in my life by energetic invitation.
I accept that's what I did. But I lost myself
so much in that relationship that if I didn't find
myself again. I can't tell you where I will be
right now, and so I just want whoever watches this
or here's this interview, shall I say to know that
those energetic invitations they can expire, and when you change,
(16:57):
go higher after those energetic relationationships fall off, and know
that it is okay that that season is over. I
marry this man. I'm fighting that decision right now. So
I'm still dealing with something that I invited through energetic invitation.
But I also didn't next. I didn't act for that.
I didn't ask to watch my mom take her last breath.
(17:18):
But I do realize that what does a kivy made
me stronger and what I experienced with that invitation is
now a gift. And I'm here for women to advocate
for them, to tell them be careful where you have
kids with, Be careful when you do what you do
when your emotions is high, because when your emotions is high,
your logic is low, and you may pay for that
decision for years. What if you catch a herpes or
(17:40):
something else you can't cure? So yes, it's sexually transmitted diseases.
That spiritually transmitted diseases that we got to be careful love.
So I accept what I did, but I know that
it's not a life sentence. It was just a part
of the story.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
We'll talk about that right after the spring. Welcome back
to the R spot. Let's get back to the conversation.
You're dropping so many gems. But I don't want people
to think they're rhyme stone, So let me just reiterate
(18:13):
what Miss Stormy has said. She says, when that thing
you just said and help me brain work with me.
You said, when you're high in your emotions, you are
low in logic. Hear that, ladies, because energy moves you.
Emotions are the energy that moves you. So when you
move in fast and your feelings, you were gonna be
(18:35):
deficit in your thinking. I love that again. It brings
me to the words of Jasmine Sullivan in her song,
which she says, treat us bad, make us sad, and
then wonder why we're mad. Mister beware, do you think
(18:57):
that some bad girls are just mad?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Ad?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
The ones who are aggressive in there speaking, the ones
who are disrespectful and emasculating toward men. Is it not
that they want to be bad, but they're mad and
they haven't done the work that miss Stormy does. Is
that a possibility.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Mister beware, No, that's that's definitely you hit the nail
right on the head. Stormy Stormy. She explained it well,
you know, she said that she she can't join awareness,
you know that awareness, that's where it started for her.
And she started doing work and then she raised herself
above that that energy, that energetic invitation when she said
(19:37):
expired and and and that's for everybody. That's for all
of the sisters and for men, also for men also
because again, if you if the brother is drawing a
woman and this is how he's showing up, then she
her her pain. What she's experienced in him is the
invitation for him to pay attention.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Not to take advantage of her pay.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
But that's what happens. Is like the sister that not
growled in the knowledge of self, the brother that's not
growled in the knowledge of self. Let me tell you
how he is right, because I don't want to put
it on the sisters. He's a predator. He's a he
is out there looking for the pray how a lion
(20:24):
is linking for that gazelle, that that wounded gazel, that
one that's easy to pounce on. He's doing the same
exact thing, and when he sees it, his antennas are
growing up and he's going in for the kill. So
so so it's what you said, Stormy. When when sisters
make a rational, a quick decision, emotionally right or impulsively,
(20:49):
that's what he's looking for. He's hoping she does that. Heah,
you're looking for that.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Here's another possibility. She's living her wounds. She's living from
her woundedness, not from her wellness. She's living from her pain,
not from her power. And he is really doing the
same thing. Because a man, a king who diminishes or
(21:15):
demoralizes a quing, he's living from his wound. He's living
from his pain. So those two things, they say opposites attract,
But in truth, you will attract the frequency of your
own wound. So they are all kinds of possibilities that
bring them together to the ladies out there, And thank you,
(21:38):
Jasmine Sullivan for bringing it to our awareness. If he's
treating you bad and he's making you sad, don't get mad,
get well, because if you get it, running for your life.
But here's the thing that concerns me, and I say it,
(22:01):
you know very clearly, I do not have a high
body count. But I can confess to being a bad
girl because I had a bad character, and I had
a bad character because I was living from my wounds.
And what that bad character looked like for me is
(22:21):
what I call my hair was on fire. I wasn't
honest with myself or him. You know. I let him
think that certain things were acceptable when they weren't. I
wasn't accountable to myself for what I wanted, what I needed,
and I didn't hold him accountable for his behavior. My
(22:42):
personal integrity was smoldering in a heap on the floor.
I said one thing, thought one thing, felt something else,
and I wasn't responsible for myself. I wanted him to
make me happy. I wanted him to pay the rent.
I wanted him to, you know, do everything I wanted
him to do. So my hair was on fire. That's
(23:04):
what gave me bad character. I would never cuss a man.
I would never do things to emasculate him outwardly. Inwardly
I would, but outwardly I wouldn't. And so my point
is to our listeners, is a bad girl isn't just
a stripper or a dancer. You know, it's the one
(23:26):
who's rot is on the inside. Now Howard shows up
on the outside. Maybe what can he give me? What
can he buy me? Because I've heard young women say
this on the tiki tak or whatever that thing is.
You know, I want a man that makes six figures.
I want a man who can do this. And she
don't have a high school diploma. To me, that's a
(23:47):
bad girl. Is that accurate? Miss Stormy?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Well, you know I love you with the love, but
I dropped out of school in the tenth grade.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
But you didn't graduate from high school. I when I
didn't go to college.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
No, that's when you were a bad girl. I'm talking
about today, in today's world, women who have made the
choice again, no judgment, no heed about it. But she's
made the choice that as opposed to growing herself. Like
I heard Ace Metaphors say this. He said, sisters are
getting their hair done, they're getting the nail done, they
(24:21):
going to the gym and growing their body, but they're
not growing their spiritual foundation. He said. If you grow
your spiritual foundation, you can tell from ten feet away
that he ain't the one for you. I'm talking about
is it a bad girl. A woman who does all
of the physical stuff, looks good, sounds good, smells good,
(24:43):
and expects the man to make her whole. See, to me,
that's a bad girl. Do you understand what I mean?
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I agree because I further I believe in the power
of the master mind alliance. And what if you get
with the king in your bank, you just affected a
few of the men that we got left. So if
a bad girl gets with the king, now he forgets
his words.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
We just created a bigger problem.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
So absolutely, I think when a woman identifies with her
weaknesses and where she can grow. If she does that
and she works on it and she accepts where she is,
oh that's a good girl all day long. But if
you are in denial about who you are and where
you need to grow, and you act like it's okay.
You ever heard this saying when people say you know
(25:30):
it is what it is, this is who I am?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
You know, taking a lead that said that a lot today,
that's eigering. So when you identify where you are and
who you are and where.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
You can grow, even if you're in the midst of
there right now, to me, and you're willing to change
your character, and you know that that is within your
reach just because you're working on it. As you are
working on it, I think you should already start seeing
yourself as a good girl. But if you are in
denial and you're just staying just nasty and your character
is bad, and you know you domasculate man and you
(26:00):
commiss you with and you're just like, oh, well, yeah,
you all the way back you you you mods were
just throwing a toweling, you.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Know, mister b ware, here's a question for you. Can
a man inspire a bad girl to be good? Okay?
Tell me how? How does he inspire her to do that?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
There's a teaching that the nation is and that is
so I spoke on it earlier. But when you look
at the sun right, what the sun does when it shines,
it gives off light. That light that the sun gives
off enables us to see. Not only does it enable
us to see, but it enables us to have the
(26:45):
food that we need to keep our laps going. Not
only does it enable us to see and provide us
with food that we need to have our labs go,
but it also protects us from harmful elements of the universe.
So the sun protects, it provides, and it leads. So
that's the job of a man. So a grounded a
(27:05):
man that's grounded and the knowledge of himself, and he's
shining that light on the moon. That moon is going
to show up, and she's going to receive that light
from the sun. She's going to begin on a take
on his ways, or take on his habits, to take
on his patterns. And what happens with that is at
first it's more nature taking course. Well, what happens a
(27:29):
period of time, and I can speak from my own
personal experiences, is that now it begins to set in
and she begins to be almost like a female representation
of the man.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Miss Stormy. Let me ask you this question because I've
heard it on you know, and it disturbs me. I
heard it when men say women today are this, they're
too aggressive, and they're to this, and they're to that,
and they only want money and they want a man
who does this, and they ain't bringing nothing to the table,
(28:02):
and all of these things I hear and mostly among young,
the youngsters, the youngins how does as a woman, how
would you as a woman if you're a bad girl
or you're a recovering bad girl. What is it that
you would want a man to be and do? Notice
I said be and do that would inspire you to
(28:25):
go good.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
So great question. I want to say. I'm in a
relationship right now.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
I've been in this relationship for a little over a year,
and this is honestly the first man and I just
take to say this, but the first man that I
want to respect. He's very alpha, very alpha. We've been
in almost a year and a half. He opens the
door still, he's still whenever we were together. We don't
live with each other. He wakes up with good energy
(28:52):
and he sings good morning. He makes me feel protected.
He lives in his house. I live in my house.
Does he pay my bills? I pay my own bills
when when I'm married. However, the way he shows up
in the world, me watching him as a father, me
watching him as a friend, me watching him take care
of himself, me watching him do manly things, makes me
want to respect him. But when I look at when
(29:16):
women are emasculating and rude, like I have friends like that.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I have some rich friends.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Women and they're single, and I'm telling you, I watch
them and I look at their body language. I'm look
at how they talk, and I'm like, what man will want?
Will want that? What man would want a woman that
that treats the light? I'm dating another man. It's like,
come on, man, I don't care how rich you. I
don't even care how pretty old weave is. I want
you to touch me on my back when I'm driving.
I want you to, you know, put your hand on
(29:41):
my leg.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I want you to know.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
I want you to kids my cheek too. I want
you to rub my back. You ain't got to give
me no big time aside, but I want you to
rub my bak too. I want you know, I want
me personally. I think the man should pay for the
meals and the dates. But if the woman want to
take her man on a date and pay every now
and then, what's wrong with that? So I just think
that you know, the roles have changed and it shouldn't
be about money.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
It should be about like the character. If a man.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Shows up as a man and he shows you are
kingly qualities, he is deeply rooted in whatever his spiritual
practices is.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
He knows that he is not a god. He is
of a god, and not a god, but.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
Of and he knows how to affirm me like I
love the five love languages. One of my powerful love
languages is I love words of affirmation and quality time.
I'm always working, I'm always busy, but if you can
remind me of who I am, speak to the queen
in me. You know, when you feel like I'm a
little discouraged, you pump me up. I pump you back up.
(30:38):
That gets me just spired up. And so, just to
answer your question, I think that, yeah, you know, we
as women have to respect that. This is twenty twenty four.
This is not back in the old days. We do
input the man. But I respect my man, and I'm
gonna be honest with you. I'm so happy, like I
never met a man that makes me want to make
(30:59):
his play and put the napkin down and pick up
the playing. And baby wants something to drink, I call
him baby, Baby wants something to drink. When he's talking,
I look at him, I don't say I gotta go pee.
I be right back, my baby. I'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
I'm gonna go to the restroom.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Okay when a fall, When my fall rings and he's talking,
if I have to take the call, I'm gonnay, excuse me,
baby one minute, let me take this call. The old
one would be like, hello, he talking, you know when
he opens my door for me? Every time he opens
the door. Y'all gonna love this. Every time I say
thank you every time, not like like he's supposed to
do it. So I love making him feel like a king.
(31:36):
And I didn't know the power that's reciprocated in the
and the energy that comes back to me when I
give it to him. And I tell you this, there's
been times where he made me feel some kind of
way and I want to stay. Like the old we
would have been, like who you think you talking to her?
I just to be quiet and I play some music
and I'll start dancing like a woman off some feminist song,
not talking to him, but just act like it didn't
(31:56):
bother me. And he'll come back and he'll say, I'm sorry,
I know that was wrong, and I don't even say nothing,
so I need to be compet I don't do that
no more.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Let me ask you a question, Miss Stormy, does your
does your boo have a brother? Right?
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Right?
Speaker 5 (32:16):
That?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Mis mss Stormy, I really appreciate you for sharing that,
because you know a lot of it's like in my
own experiences, those small things that men will open up
the door and and and being protective, like, you know,
I really appreciate the fact that you appreciate it. And
then you're speaking to that because a lot of sisters
(32:37):
from just talking to them and what I'm seeing a
lot on social media and Instagram's reflective of how the
dating scene is. Then you know they sisters need to
hear that. And why and why I'm saying from you
is because when they told me that you were the
co host, I looked you up and I was like, oh,
I heard of this. I heard of this, sister before.
Your name has come up in a couple of times
(32:59):
of people were stating or where we're citing things that
you said, young sisters, to the fact that you're on
this call and you're saying what you're saying, I really
appreciate and I just want to acknowledge that.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Thank you, Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I think that's so beautiful. Thank you, Beware, thank you,
Miss Stormy. Good girl's gone bad, bad girls becoming good.
We're going to talk more about that right after this.
Welcome back to the R Spot. Let's get back to
the conversation. Here is something that I think creates a
(33:36):
lot of friction and will make a good girl bad
and make a bad girl lose her mind. And that
is the word submissive. Miss Stormy as a recovered bad
girl as a boss, because you are a boss, but
your bossness comes from the inside, not from the outside.
(33:57):
I think that's a distinction too, that a lot of
women don't make. They think the boss is in their
behavior and in their words, and not from their heart
and their soul. But as a bad girl who's recovered
as a boss, as a spiritually grounded woman, as a
self aware woman in a relationship, how would you define
(34:18):
intoday's world submissive? How would you differ?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
First of all, I would say, ladies, submission is sexy. Yes,
submission is sexy. Yes, where you find a king? And
I got to be honest. I used to be the
woman that would call you a king, and you was
no king at all.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
I was just.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Your hair was on fire. You wasn't being host accountable,
having integrity or responsibility.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
No, ma'am, no, ma'am.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
And I was fate trying to be, you know, acquaint
to somebody that wasn't even a king. But when a
man shows kingly qualities, Like, I tell you something one
of my mentors told me. He said, if a man
sleep late, talk slow, all right, you better run fast.
If a man sleeplate and talk slow and walk slow,
(35:18):
you better run fast. And I want to stay that
right now because I believe, like like mister b Ware said,
a man's qualities does impact a woman and influences a woman.
If he has his own I call it Chris. You
gonna like this, Yanda, I call it Chris. What does
Chris mean? A man has credit? He cares about this Craig.
He takes care of his credit. That's the seeing Chris.
(35:40):
H he has some type of health through team rather,
he works out, He does something to keep his body
in shape. That's the age, the r real estate. He
got a place to live. Men these days better they know.
They don't even have their own plate sofa surfing. Yes,
they don't have play. If they have a home, that's beautiful.
(36:03):
If he has some type of investments. If you're dating
a man in his forties, in his fifties, he hasn't
set himself up to make no type of passive income.
He don't have no type of business. That's to me,
that's dangerous. And then asking Chris is support. It is
spiritual support. If you have a man to have Chris,
that is a man worthy of being submissive with because
(36:24):
you're gonna help even empower him the war, so credit, health,
real estate, investments and a support and a spiritual support team.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Is a man that you should want to submit to because.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Now y'all have that power of that master amount alliance
and bigger things are going to happen because you're bringing
out the best in him and because you're bringing out
the best in him, like Mester b Where's said, He's
gonna bring out the best in you. And that is
the man that you submit to. Other than that, don't submit.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I want to give him a last name. His name,
first name Chris, last name v v I. He gotta
have vision and he gotta have integrity, right Chris vi I,
that's his name. Mister Beware, As a man in today's world,
how would you define submissive or submit?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Whether today's world or yesterday's world, I think is still
the same because that submission is that feminine activating, that
feminine energy of God in you. I heard miss Anna
say one time one of her one of our lectures,
she said, to be a woman's to allow the feminine
energy to vibrate in you as you at its highest frequency.
(37:39):
So what does that mean? So that's that would mean
that you're tapped into what God is in you. So
submission with me to tap into what God is in you.
And as a woman, that's that feminine energy. But that's
strength to tap into God. And as a lot of
what you said, what you for you and Stormy spoke
(38:01):
up earlier sisters that are in tapped into that, it's
impossible for them to be submissive if they're not tapped
into God, because that God energy is going to allow
them to be submissive. And like like Stormy said, it's
going to be sexy, it's going to be fun. I'm
pretty sure it's got to be very liberated for a
(38:22):
woman to be who God designed her to be. Because
this world is trying to shape us and move us
and narrate us, navigate us so many directions that it
is so easy to lose yourself. So to be grounded
with self and with self, to be grounded and that
femini energy as a woman to be submissive, that means
(38:45):
you're speaking to the God and your man because you're
tapped into God and that feminine energy. That means that
you know, even if they're upset, I hear this is
something else I heard. Yah. Let's say she said, you know,
let's hear front carefront me versus confront me. You know,
it's a it's a different conversation that you bring in
even when there's a challenge of evenings on the table.
(39:06):
So that submission looks like her being that that representation
of God within her and she's showing it. So it
comes from the inside out and it's in the step
happening the power one of the Alas books tapping the
power within, so that that's what it would look like
when you when you're being submissive, you're tapping the power within,
and that power within is the God in that feminine energy.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
That's see well that I think what many women haven't
been taught. And you can tell me, miss Stormy, your
take on this. First of all, there are very few
demonstrations of feminine power in the world. In my mind,
the greatest one that I've seen is my first kating
Michelle Obama. She is a walking, living, breathing talking demonstration
(39:50):
of feminine power. One of the things that I've learned
about feminine power that I think many women miss is
the number one essence of feminine power is silence. You know,
the sun comes up in the day when people are
hustling and bustling, the moon comes up at night when
it's quiet, everybody's sleep. And women don't appreciate the power
(40:14):
of silence because when you're silent, what happens is your
heart speaks. I think the other thing that women don't
appreciate about feminine power is that it is nurturing, nourishing.
It is appreciative, it is appreciative, and it is affirming.
(40:37):
So as we learn to nourish ourselves and nourish others,
nurture ourselves and nurture others, as we learn to appreciate
every good thing, every good thing, and appreciate even the
bad things, because as you said, Miss Stormy, they're coming
to teach us something. And as we learn to affirm
(40:58):
as opposed to criticize, judge, condemned, gossip, tear down to fame.
The level of deformation in the world today, particularly by
women on social media. You know, it's just to me,
I just I don't even know how to calculate it. Misstorman,
let me say this to you. I love you, and
(41:23):
I am so proud of who you are demonstrating God
in the feminine physical form as a woman. I think
what you what you have done with your heart, not
with your life, because God gave you life, but what
(41:43):
you've done with your heart to turn your life around,
is a testimony to the power of grace and mercy,
both of which are feminine aspects of God. Anything, at
any time, any place, anywhere, you need me. You you
(42:06):
call me, and I'm just I'm just I'm just proud
of you. I'm just grinning over here.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
You today have validated that everything.
Speaker 4 (42:18):
That I believe about what you deserve and and how
you will align with your people in time. This, this
conversation today has validated for me that I am growing
and I'm really just getting started. You know, mister, be
where I can quote with you, So I think I
throw one of my favorite quotes. See he getting all
(42:38):
the brownie points. I want some bo Okay. You say
to your yo, your willingness to look at your darkness
is what empowers you to change. And I tell you
one of my favorite books is them. I read it
every single day. This book changed my life right and
I look in my darkness every single day, and before
(43:00):
I go to bed, I asked myself, did I do
well with my day?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Did I show up? Did I serve humanity with my day?
Speaker 4 (43:08):
Even in the pain, even then the trauma, even in
the bs, I still ask myself did I serve my fellows,
sisters and men today? And before I go to bed,
when I say yes, I am proud to go to
sleep knowing that I deserve rest, to wake up willing
and ready to do it all over again tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
I do need your help. I'll tell you this. I
serve a community of women that are the least, the last,
and the lost.
Speaker 4 (43:33):
And when they see me as a highly school drop
ex stripper, I used to be on food stamp Station eight.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I have three kids, three different.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Like me, was wealthire, I had food stamps. I have
three children by three different men. Yeah, my.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Mother had foodstamps too, and she was on.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Women's conversation. Get over there and be submissive.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
I didn't know that, but I gotta say that.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
I'm telling you women that's listening to this right now,
if you want an alpha man that could partake you,
that could provide for you, that could reinforce you and
revalidate you and aedify you. You are going to have
to learn silence because if you be combative, it looks
really tacky. When you could learn to be quiet when
he's going crazy or when he's not being what you need.
(44:21):
Be quiet and be patient and do go back and
address the situation when the energy is clear. Don't be
confrontational with no king or no man. Let the dust settle,
let the energy you know, kind of diminish and go down,
and then come back and say, baby, I want to
ask you a question, what does you mean by what
you what you said or that really hurt my feelings
(44:43):
when you said what you said?
Speaker 3 (44:44):
And I really love when you do x y Z
I love it.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
I love it, mister Bware. I want to I want
to thank you. I want to thank you for being
a voice for the voiceless, because so any men today
women talk so much and haven't been taught how to
listen or how to hear. So I want to thank you.
(45:09):
I hope that you have felt honored and respected. I
thank you for your voice today to be a voice
for the voiceless, a voice for those who get overtalked,
who get underheard, and who get diminished and dismissed. Thank
you so very much for being here. I want to
thank all my listeners today. I hope that you have
(45:31):
heard something here today about bad girls, good girls submission.
I hope that you got some of them gems that
they dropped. I couldn't even write fast enough, but I
got this. When you high an emotion, you low in thinking,
and that your energetic invitation has an expiration date. Thank you,
and see for me, as an elder to have a
(45:52):
young and take something that I said and expanded that
just puts hair on my chest. And since I'm unpartnered
right now, I can have a few little hairs on
my chests. But Stormy gonna hook me up with her
booze brother. Thank you for tuning in, Thank you for listening.
We will be back real soon and in the meantime,
(46:13):
stay in peace and not in pieces.
Speaker 5 (46:17):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
The R Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in
partnership with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite show,
Host
Iyanla Vanzant
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