From Captivity to Clarity: The Journey of a World-Renowned Addiction Specialist

Join our host, Seano McFarland as he opens up about his battle with addiction and how he transformed his painful past into a mission to help others. Seano discusses his lowest points, his path to sobriety, and the founding of Shell, a community center in Venice, California, dedicated to supporting individuals struggling with various forms of addiction. He talks about the importance of self-love, finding community, and the power of recovery. You'll hear Seano's personal stories, his work with notable figures like Mike Tyson, and the impact of intergenerational trauma. He emphasizes the significance of showing up, taking action, and shifting the narrative.

 

Keep in Touch With:

Instagram: @Seanovenice

Website: https://www.shellvenice.com/

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Everybody. It's Cina McFarlane. Welcome to the SINO Show. We're
very special guest today, myself and uh my buddy Ben
is going to be asking the questioning my manager in
good pal and the reason why I'm going to be
doing is because nobody knows who I am. Sharing a
little bit about my backstory, how this podcast came to fruition,

(00:21):
and hopefully some techniques and tools that you'll listen in
and pass it on and hopefully helpful to everybody. So
I hope you enjoy listening to the Sino Show me
being interviewed today.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
What are you doing here? What are you doing at Shell?
Why do people come and work with you?

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Liser changed here? Leser fucking changed here. You know my
famous saying shame on them for treating me that way,
and shame on me for staying that way. And I
made a very conscious effort that if I wasn't to
live out loud and change my life, they won and
that was unacceptable.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Sino, thank you for having me. Today's your day. We're
going to find out more about you. But you are
the host of this show, so it's a little weird
sitting in your chair, but thank you. For giving it
up for the day.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate the show wouldn't happen
without you, So thank you, brother.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Oh you're a legend. Thank you. It's been absolute pleasure
managing you, and I really think you're doing a lot
of good in this world and this is exactly what
the people need. So I'm just honored to be a
part of helping you bring it to life. So right,
thank you for giving me that opportunity. So so, you know,
just taking a step back, let's keep it just top
line to kind of kick things off. What are you

(01:34):
doing here? What are you doing at Shell? Why do
people come and work with you?

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Shell is based in Venice, California. It's a hub, it's
a community center. It's a place for people to be
safe when you know, when unsafe. There's a residential living here.
I do therapy and coaching here. I host meetings. People
come here to breathe, to eliminate shame, to shift the narrative,

(02:04):
to find a community, to find something higher in their life.
Because I treat addiction here at Shell as a spiritual
malady and liser changed here lyser fucking changed here.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Very true. I've seen it where these individuals at before
they end up here, at what points in their life,
and what are the type of individuals that are coming
through your doors and that you're working with.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
It could be somebody who's just coming out of prison.
It could be somebody that just got you know, and
some me too stuff, major shenanigans. It could be somebody
who's been on a meth run forever. Is it somebody's
addicted to pornography and escorts. It could be somebody who's
got really strong sex and love addiction. It could be

(02:51):
a high end call girl. It could be a girl
who's working in the streets there. It could be a
convulsive gambler. It could be somebody who was maybe a
half a day with them calling their life.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
For many people, they're familiar with the normal entry points
for addiction, but you just touched on a lot of
different ones that might not be so obvious to the masses.
I think it's kind of interesting if you can expand
upon that. You mentioned slaw, you mentioned some different acting
out things, gambling, What are what are you know for

(03:24):
the average person, they're aware of drugs and alcohol? What
are we talking about here? You know that people are
navigating Really.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
We deal with chemical addiction here and of course all
you know, Alcoholics Anonymous is such a great resource for people.
And then a lot of what we do in the
trauma work and the sex and love addiction work is
we're very SLAW focused. And Slaw is a twelve step
program based on Alcoholics Anonymous, and what that program deals
with is helping people in their codependency and their reliance

(03:56):
on other people's behavior for their happiness and safety, identifying
what is a red flag magical thinking. And it's a
very very serious addiction. You know, I heard it here
a couple of days ago. A great definition is checking
your pulse on somebody else's wrist. I can't be happy

(04:16):
until we're cool. Yeah, And it's a real prison sentence.
And a lot of people with long term sobriety they
don't tackle that particular issue. They relapse over these issues.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
What's that look like at a worst case scenario? Because
it sounds bad, but it doesn't maybe sound detrimental to one.
How does that play out?

Speaker 1 (04:34):
What do you mean it doesn't sound.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Like, you know, it is bad, but comparatively to like
drugs or alcohol, Like what are we talking about? How
is this crippling for some people, you know, Well.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
It's crippling because they can't be free. It's crippling because
they might lose their marriage over it. Yeah, it's crippling
because I'm just telling you, I've worked with some of
the biggest, baddest waiting for a text from somebody that
you're okay or we're cool, We're going to meet up later.
It's a very very serious affliction. Trauma based relationships, relationships,

(05:05):
you know, based on dopamine highs is just as powerful
as crack addiction, meth addiction. It's a real it's a
real thing, and people take their life over it. People
never understand true intimacy and love and it's it's it's
a real motherfucker man, And it takes a lot of
good people down, male and female.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Of course, How did you get here? Where did this
all start?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
But where did the journey begin? Yeah? Yeah, No, I'm
a I'm a first office you know, I'm a stone
cold hustler, junkie, sex addic, hall of favor, fucking wackadoodle grifter,
irish hooligan that somehow found his way to a different past.
You know, I came to Los Angeles in nineteen ninety
to be an actor like so many people. And within
a short period of time I got a big commercial

(05:52):
and did you know, work my way in there? And
I did a hit play with Dylan McDermott called Short
Eyes with prison drama with Don Chetell, and that kind
of put me on the map and I was blessed
to work with. I've had great mentors all my life
and one of my great mentors was Jeff Goblum and
I did three move I was just stand in driver,
and what I learned, he was the most prepared guy

(06:12):
in the set. I learned the business of movie making
and professionalism, and he really went to bat for me,
and he got me an audition for the fall up
Jurassic Park the Lost World, and I nailed a small
little part, and then I wanted to push a little
bit further. My other great heroes and mentors was David Mammott,

(06:32):
the Poul Serprize winning playwright, probably most famous for writing
Glenn Gary Glenn Ross. I got accepted to Leanic Theater
summer program in Burlington, Vermont, so I went out there
and studied with them, and in that I was going
down to Lake Champagne to thank God for this amazing experience,
come back and do this movie. I was ten years
sober and I got ran over by a car my
bicycle and I was paralyzed for three days and they

(06:56):
had to do an emergency surgery. And now I'm in
a halo, which is things the still Gritter's going through
my head and I couldn't do the movie. And I
was probably eighty seven percent mostly grateful, you know, so
that I could still walk, but it was kind of
tough for my back. In my little studio apartment, watching
entertainment tonight, I do the live feeds from the movie set. Fuck,

(07:16):
And I didn't take any pain pills, not because I'm
such a tough guy. Just didn't like the way it
made me feel. And I just wanted to be clean.
And I take my sobriety really fucking serious. And I'm
terrified to go back out. And about eight months in
a buddy of mine was doing a movie down the
street here at Sony, and a basketball player was in
his film that was at the time getting in a
lot of trouble, and he asked me if I would

(07:38):
just come to a twelve step, and twelve step in
recovery terms is where you help somebody and carry the message.
And I was kind of interested about this guy had
nothing else to do, and I wasn't supposed to drive,
and I drove over there in about fifteen minutes. In
being in his trailer, I said, hey, man, I don't
want to be rude or presumptuous. I said, did somebody
rape you? Right? And he broke down crying, and him

(08:03):
and I became best friends, and the NBA hired me
to be with him, and I went to UCLA and
graduated top of my class, and that's how this started.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
That's amazing, you know. I think it takes a special
somebody to be able to recognize that in somebody else.
Surely real recognize is real sometimes for better or worse.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
You know.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I imagine you've had your own, you know, introductions to
this at an early age. What's that look like for you?
What were kind of those formative years, whether good or
bad for you that kind of led you down this
path of drugs and alcohol then sobriety because we just
kind of jumped into ten years in more or less,

(08:49):
but surely there was some path that got you there
to sobriety. In the first place. I imagine.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, I mean, I think the reason I can help
so many people, it's because I've been there. And you know,
the thing that you know was probably most important, the
thing that really kind of shifted my life for a
thousand different reasons, is when I was I grew up
in Arizona. You know, my father is kind of an
Irish jigglow alcoholic drifter. You know, he's a lot like

(09:21):
the Willie Lowman, the character and death of a salesman,
always a dream. Oh they love me and it's gonna hit.
It's in. Some days we had money and some days
we didn't. And he always fell in love with the
other woman was my mom. And I love my father
and I'm not, but it's just that's kind of where
we went. And he he made a decision, and I

(09:42):
have a younger brother and sister, to leave that marriage
at a young age. And because he was on his
own path, he didn't pay child's supporter or ale amonia
or any of those things, and so we had to
basically move into government housing. It was food stamps and
powdered milk, and about six months into that living at
the VV at this apartment, a complex at thirty five
hundred North twenty fifth Street. I was kidnapped and used

(10:07):
for child pornography and I was tortured, and they put
a gun to my head and they threatened to kill
my brother, my sister if I ever told anybody that.
And I kept that and they were very good at
what they did. I I was terrified of that, and
I kept that secret until I was about twenty seven.

(10:28):
And that completely shifted my life. And because this is
really important for listeners to understand this, especially people that
have suffered sexual abuse. Even though the threat of being
killed was terrifying as a young boy, they were also
doing things in my body that made me feel good.
And so what happened is they let a switch in
me that my arousal template became super hyper sexual, you know,

(10:53):
and there's no coming down from that, you know. And
so you know, shortly after that happened, I woke up
drugged and bowling alley and because I you know, I
was gone for a couple of days and I just
sold it as I ran away because I was troubled
at that time by my father's leaving and things like that,
and I started selling my body on the streets you know,

(11:17):
mostly men, sometimes women, and Arizona at the time ironically
had the highest child deduction rate in the country. It
was also a very dark, seedy place, and I was
able to find myself into some really dark situations. I
also became extraordinarily violent at that time too, because I
didn't know how to ask for help. I didn't know

(11:40):
how to tell people I'm scared. I was just fucking
you know.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Paralyzed, rightfully, So I would do that, yeah, study, But
I think a lot of people get to that place
and never really get out of it, frankly, or it
owns their life for the remainder of it. It's amazing
how you've around and harnessed this terrible thing and you know,
made it the opposite of that, made it the something

(12:07):
that you could use to leverage to help people and
learn from and create change. And I think that really
brings us to an amazing point, which is like, you know,
tell me more about the average individual that's coming through
your doors that you're working with. What's this person like?
And I know it ranges, but really kind of brings

(12:27):
us to the impact you're making, you know, and this
this thing that could have broken you, but you've turned
around in such a beautiful way.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yes, let me, let me answer. Let me I'm going
to make a statement, and your question, please, why does
shell exist? Why was I able to see something in
that ballplayer that maybe a lot of people couldn't see?
And why can I have the impact of the way
I do around the world and such an incredible And
I say that really humbly. I truly too. I just

(13:00):
took all that bad stuff, okay, and made good out
of it, okay. And you know my famous saying, shame
on them for treating me that way, and shame on
me for staying that way. And I made a very
conscious effort that if I wasn't to live out loud
and change my life, they won, and that was unacceptable.

(13:23):
And so I just took all those experiences and I
made good out of it. For instance, I just would
like to talk about this. I'm blessed to work in
Rwanda with genocide survivors and Uganda with hilden soldiers. I
don't speak the language, but I speak the language you
feel me. So when I'm talking to these kids, by

(13:44):
the way, somebody has always had it worse. I've just
been kidnapped for two days. How about being fucking kidnapped
for four years? So when we're talking, they know that
I'm listening in a very specific way. Trauma survivor to
trauma survivor, addic to attic. There's nothing more powerful than that.
So the person walking in the shell, they might be
struggling with alcohol, they might be struggling with porno addiction,

(14:07):
they might be you know, lost in life, horrible code dependency.
You know, there's all different walks that come in here.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
What's the importance in creating a men's only room. I've
noticed you guys do that a lot at Shell.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Why the reason why I hold groups here, okay, with
men only, is because honestly, some of them don't have
the maturity be around women. They're too distracted and they'll
get high in the room. Yeah, and I can't And
when I'm dealing with these very sensitive matters, I can't

(14:43):
have any distractions. I have to create the perfect environment
for the healing to begin.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Does that makes sense completely?

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, what I'm doing. One of the most most therapists,
how the listening skills of a garage mechanic. Okay, what
I've you know, and tried to with my darnedness. I
call it active listening as I'm as I'm doing with
you right now, I'm really listening, okay, and I and

(15:12):
people don't feel judged, okay, And I create a safe
place for them to say, you know, what's you know,
I've never told anybody this before. And we can laugh
about things too, and I can like, for instance, an
example might be like, well, fuck I gosh, I see transsexuals.

(15:33):
I said, oh, fuck me too, right, I said, you
know what I said, you know? And they're like, what really? Yeah,
I said, I'm gonna tell you a story, right like I, uh,
you know, I was with uh this gal and she
went by the name of Chanel, okay, and we had
a fee dispute, okay, and uh you know, I left

(15:54):
the hotel there on Santa Monica Boulevard and Chanell became
Charlie and Charlie and heels running down what you know,
I want my fucking money and that brings laughter and
we kind of and then it's we're cool, so whatever
it takes. And then I also will say, hey, you
know what, man or gal, you know, are you fucking

(16:14):
sick of the sad ass fucking story because you're boring me.
And that's an art too. That's an art when you
know when it's not just all peace and blessings here, brother,
we're all good and let's just meditate this shit out.
It's like I'm hearing the same shit. Do you want
to fucking change? Man?

Speaker 2 (16:31):
That friendly push?

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah, And that's that's the trick. That's the art.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
That's amazing. What about showing up consistency?

Speaker 1 (16:37):
You know, I have a couple of sayings and this
is really true. I'm the biggest scaredy cat in the room. Okay,
but I'm a triple black and belt and showing up.
And the one thing I've learned from my great teachers
is action, action, action. Just show the fuck up, no
matter what, get in the ocean, work out, put the
application in. Just you gotta fucking do it. You just

(16:59):
have to do that. And I've one day at a time,
I've tried to master that. But I really push people
because you know, addicts have all kinds of interesting and ideas.
And the first one is it's not that bad. Two
is I'll do it tomorrow, and there is no tomorrow.
There's no tomorrow in recovery. You might die, motherfucker. So
you better fucking figure it out.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
What's the ultimate goal for some of the people coming
through your doors, what's the better life look like for them?

Speaker 1 (17:26):
Well, there's obviously the better life is just to be sober,
whatever that may be. Sober off the gambling, sober off,
you know, drugs, women, codependency, you know. But there's that part.
The best part is to watch them truly shift the
narrative and start taking risk in life. It might be

(17:49):
how do you court a growth for the real time.
It might be living your marriage after twenty three years.
It might be starting a company. It might be going
on as conference and humbly saying I fucked up. What
I did was wrong and no excuses, and I'm gonna

(18:09):
play this show and I'm gonna do this or I'm
gonna get back on this team and let my actions
speak for me. And it's the thing that I really
try to teach people. Can you actually look in the
mirror and say ten times I love you? Show is
about self love. It's about being right with yourself. No

(18:31):
matter what happens out in the world, you're cool because
you have to figure that out. Because if you can't
get that way, you're gonna drink and drug and get
high again.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
I know a lot of what you're doing here is
to create change. Where does that change begin?

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Great question? Change begins the moment you ask for help.
Change happens when maybe the first time you raise your
hand and say, I'm seeing, I'm an alcoholic, I'm sino,
I'm sex addict. Okay. And change happens when you don't
get high for one day, when you're scared to ask

(19:08):
the guy across the room, can I get your number?
When you go for the fellows and have a you know,
smoothie after the meeting, and just start making a community
with yourself. It starts there. Change happens when you get
on your knees and ask for something higher to come
in your life and change your thinking.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
How do you navigate life after identifying as a sex addict?

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Now, question, Well, let me do education first. People think
sex addict is somebody who just wants to have sex
all the time they have to their hyper sec That's
not the case. Sex addict might be somebody who is
addicted to pornography. It's not just having sex all the time.

(19:52):
Or a sex addict might be somebody that lives in
fantasy all the time. Okay. What I'm trying to teach
people is to understand what they want exactly and why
they're doing certain things. Okay, And I teach them what
it's all sex addiction is about is an intimacy disorder. Okay,
and they're just running away. So what I'm trying to

(20:13):
help them do. It's not about having sex all the time,
although there are certainly people that do that and want
to have sex all the time and sex main equity,
recall it. That's not really sex addiction. Okay. I'm helping
them have a right relationship with sex and intimacy and
learning how to be with their partner and whatever that
may be.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Is there a differentiation? I know slaw is sex and love.
Is there a differentiation between a sex addict and a
love addict?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yeah? So for instance, and I think it really needs
sex addiction is you know, do it, you do it right?
You can get it right now. You want to get
on the POINTO do your thing? See their prostitute, what
do you want to do? Meet the girl? You got
a bunch of girlfriends? Bumble media hit. Love addiction I
think is hard and more difficult and scared because love

(21:02):
addiction for the most part, waiting for the other person
to respond. Well, guess what they might not respond day one,
day two, day three. Okay, and that's a whole different game.
Sex addiction more of an instant hit. Love addiction is
more about being in the days, the fantasy, the spell,

(21:25):
the bubble of waiting for the other partner to come
around and tell everything's cool.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Something that really impresses me about, you know, is your
son huh frankly your past story. Yet your son Dylan
is such an amazing example of just a well raised kid.
What's that look like? And how did that come about?
Because I don't think you were dealt the best deck
of cards to have such a beautiful success story. How

(21:54):
did you get there?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
So my son is twenty years old. When I was twenty,
I was in prison. Okay. I always say that's one
of my favorite things, But it is one of my
favorite things. It's any generational trauma. I love putting families
back together. And I think a very uncommon thing in
parenting because people always what does it take of parents?
What do you do just fucking know what your kids

(22:17):
are doing? Be on top of it, you know, like,
just you know if they're hiding in the bathroom with
their computer. Something might be going on. That's true, you know,
I'll tell you this. The other thing is this from
the moment he was born and I held his little
hand at three hours, I said, Dylan McFarlane, whatever you
want to do in the world, you can do, okay.

(22:41):
And and the other thing is I'm his mother. We
just loved him so much and we gave him room
to fall down, but we curated great things for him,
traveling around the world, meeting people that have been blessed
to work with. And he's got good jeez, his mother's

(23:01):
a thousand times much smarter than I. But he's out
my street smarts, in my work ethic. It's a hell
of a combination. It's a hell of a combination. He's
got great hair too, yes he does. And he's kind
of humble still he is.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
And he's finding a lot of success on his own
as a young entrepreneur, which is a testament to the
amazing upbringing and with no handholding at that, which from
my perspective is just jaw dropping and really cool. Pots
off to you see now, thank you. It's a testament.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
It's as a parent, I'd ever worry about my son
and my phone rings off the fucking hook with parents
that are worried about their kids.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Why this podcast? Why create this? Why bring this to life?

Speaker 1 (23:44):
Well, I've had great success in the work I do
here at Shell. In some ways, some of that success
and some of the people that I've worked with over
the years, i'm I don't broadcast kind of what you
kind of got to find me a little bit, and
I think that served me well. And then I'm he
speaks to this post, so I'm not talking out school.
He's written about and talked about it. I'm most probably

(24:07):
famous for treating Mike Tyson. We have a fifteen year relationship.
He's lived here for periods of like a year at
a time. We have a great partnership and trust and friendship.
And he has a podcast called Hot Boxing, and he
kept bothering me to get on it, and I said, Mike,
I really don't want to do that. I don't. I
think part of his eyes maybe a little scared, and

(24:29):
part of it was I just kind of like the
way things going. And then finally his wife, Kiki, who
I is also someone I love dearly, said, you know,
just go on this fucking show for me, please, I said, okay, Kiki,
and so I went on the show. And what I
was not prepared for is the millions of people at

(24:51):
reach and that was very powerful for me. I didn't
really have the maturity or the understanding of how that
kind of works, that world really And then I was
blessed to meet my boss, our boss, and I gave
a keynote address in Miami, Bob Pittman, and he said,
I'm a great storyteller and I appreciate that, and he

(25:14):
said we should do a show. And then one thing,
let's another, and here.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
We are personal curiosity working with Mike, you know, baddest
man on the planet. Imagine that could be scary at times?
Was it ever not? Did you ever feel nervous working.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Like he was gonna kill me? Yeah? Oh yeah? Literally?
Yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
A couple of times you're telling him what he can
and can't do to somebody that's never told what to do.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, No, he doesn't like that sometimes.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
What was that?

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Like?

Speaker 2 (25:44):
I'm fascinated.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Probably the most famous photo, well one of them, of
Mike is when he's fighting Spinks in the ring and
the shot is up in the rafters and he's looking
at him, and you see the look in Spink's face.
He goes, it's so I'm fucked. And I've had Mike
look at me on this couch in this chair, and

(26:05):
I said, what are you gonna do, Mike? Are you
gonna fucking kill me right now? Or you gotta look
within your side yourself and not run away for the
first time in your life. And he's he actually even
getting more and he's screaming and yelled at me, but

(26:27):
he he knew I was right. He had such a
trust and respect for me as he has this you know,
he's probably you know custom model was this great teacher
and leader, and you know he he would yell at me,
but he'd never do harm to me.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
But I've stared down the vistas a couple of times that.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
It's gotten to stare down from him as well.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yeah, infamous, Yeah, what quick side story. You know when
we when I first met Mike, he was he was
getting ready to go back to prison and there was
on he did a lot of cocaine. I ran into
a police car. They don't like that out there. Funny
enough where you've had your yeah, and you know he
was it was a lot, he was broke, he's overweight,

(27:12):
and you know, I it's when I travel with people,
I stay with them. And also was trying to keep
costs down for him, and so we went to Arizona.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
I stay in the room with him literally amazing, yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because oh, you think they're just you
know they're gonna leave. The sub's gonna happen. You know,
these guys are slippery, you know. And so we're going
to the room at the Valley Hall in Scott's Dell
and say, okay, he goes, all right, I'll see I said, no,
I'm staying with you. He says, no, you're not. I said, no, Mike,
I'm gonna stay with you. And he goes, no, fucking

(27:48):
white motherfucker's gonna stay with me. I said, Michael, I'm
gonna stay with you. Guy. What's gonna happen. You're gonna
have a girl over here, You're go and get in trouble,
and it's all the work we've done. And then he
got hot and I said, you know, I don't know
what we gotta we gotta make this happen. And he
looked at me and goes, fuck you, motherfucker. Okay, and
then he just took all his clothes off and it's like,

(28:09):
oh shit, okay, that's Mike Tyson naked, and uh, well,
well done, Michael, and we'd ever look back.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
It's amazing. What's the average prototype of the you know,
client coming through here that you're working with?

Speaker 1 (28:26):
You know, it is everything from movie stars to tect
billionaires to gang people to guys that are, you know,
managing restaurants. You know. I kind of see a lot
of but I mostly probably at this time and age
where I'm at, just see a lot of basically high

(28:47):
functioning people that have complete inability to be honest with themselves,
and life just built them as serious serious. I'm kind
of the last stuff for a lot of people. But
I work with kids, and I work with families, you know,
and help the families still together, you know, and do.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
That what's that look like? How so how are you
incorporating the families and when? That's fascinating to me and
I imagine pretty delicate problems, you know.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
I mean at one time I was treating half a
Malibu and these kids, you know, they have so much
entitlement and they have so much money, and they have
so much and you know, the drugs, you know, are
unbelievably dangerous. Right now, all takes this one fitanal. You're done,
You're out, there's no coming back. The marijuana is unbelievably potent,

(29:35):
you know. So they got these kids that are struggling,
getting in school, getting in fights, doing all kinds of
crazy stuff, getting arrested, And I come in and I
try to adjust the family system, and I try to
teach boundaries, and I say things to parents like maybe
it's a good idea not to give your kid one
thousand dollars a week. Hard to do, hard to do? Yeah,

(29:58):
And then I get the kids clean, and then I
have to help the family because sometimes the worst part
is the parents and enabling Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
Yeah, that's a heavy one. But that's amazing the impact
that you're having for these families. I think a lot
of I love working with families, just can't get that bad, beautiful,
awesome work that you're doing. What's Sino's balanced life? Look like,
what's the guy that's helping everybody else doing when you're
not helping everybody else? Frankly, what are you doing for yourself?
How are you keeping it all going well?

Speaker 1 (30:28):
As you know, I love my ocean swims. That's my church. Yeah,
that's where the world is quiet. You know, when my
son's not busy traveling around the world, you know, changing
the world of commerce. I love spending time with him.
I take really good care of myself, you know, my
exercise routine. I love saunas, I do massage. I love

(30:53):
the arts. I love seeing plays, I love doing things.
I love riding my bike. That's all I need, really,
And then every once in a while I'll just go
somewhere and disappear for a little bit.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
It's amazing where you're escaping to. When you escape, where
do I go?

Speaker 1 (31:12):
I like the desert. I like Santa Fe. I like
San Francisco, and you know, I like walking the streets
of Paris. Nobody knows me.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
I can't speak French. Yeah that's amazing, you know. I
think something that's fascinating me is the ocean swims that
you do, not just for yourself, for others and just
relation with nature in general. And it's important. Can you
touch on that?

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Sure? So, like I open with I believe addiction is
a spiritual malady. I like to use the word God.
I'm not tied to God, so many A lot of
people's models of recovery is you gotta fucking go to AA,
you gotta go to narcotics anonymous.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
You got.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
That's not for everybody. And if that's the only tool
of my toolkit, I'm a really I don't have much
to give. So sometimes I might take somebody to the
Museum Modern Art before I take them to a meeting,
or I'll take them in the ocean, because the ocean.
A lot of people are scared of the water. And
I work with you know, yes, the type of clients.

(32:17):
You know, I work with world class athletes, but I
work with people that you know, are really quite big
physically and they haven't taken their shirt off in twelve years.
And so to walk them down to the beach and
wash them, take their shirt off for the first time,
and go in. Oh yeah, they find their higher power.
Let me tell you, man, okay, because out there, you know,

(32:40):
it's it's really interesting. And I'm some people don't know
how to swim so good. And what I'm building trust
with them. And what we do is a little exercise
that and I'm teaching the meditation. We go there and
we bury our feet deep in the sand before we
go in and I say, get in, tap into the current,
tap into the oce, tap into the fish. We're in

(33:02):
their home right now. Just kind of walk in that
right and we get out there and hopefully if they
can get out a little bit, and I go just scream,
let all that grief, let all that shame, let all
that bay, just let it out. And it's been pretty hilly.
I've been doing that for twenty plus years, and I get,
you know, calls and pictures from clients all around the

(33:23):
world that they're doing it with their children. That really
makes me feel good.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Oh that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
So you know, yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
That's really really special.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
It's powerful.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Thank you for sharing that love. It's such a big
through line in your work, your life. What's that look like?
What's your advice to people with love?

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Love? Love is the answer. M Listen, Why do we
shoot up dope? Why do we go back to prison?
Why are we in shitty relationships? Why are we in debt?
Why we fucking resent for all the time. We don't

(34:05):
like ourselves, we're not right with ourselves. And I have
found for myself and this is not something that happened overnight.
It was painstaking, and it's still one day at a
time for me. I gotta get hit with sino, I
gotta make I gotta make peace with who I am,
and I gotta let some real light and love come

(34:26):
in because the most important thing is I'm right with myself,
and I love myself and what I try to teach people.
You know, I've got a couple things there that I
my whole heart. One is, nobody can blow my light
out unless I give them permission. Number Two, the world
does not need to change I do. Three, the only

(34:48):
person I suffer from is Sena McFarlane. That's what recovery
taught me. So my happiness is not based on whether
or not you get sober, whether or not you like me,
whether you want to go on a date. That's not it.
My happiness is based on my ability to show for

(35:08):
myself one day at a time, and no matter what
happens in the world, I'm right with myself. I'm not
basing my serenity based on outside events. If this podcast
does great, fucking awesome, I want to If it doesn't,
I'm not gonna lose sleep. I'm gonna do everything in
my power to make this thing work. It's out of
my hands. I just show the fuck up. But if

(35:29):
I'm not right with myself, I don't love myself. What
else is there I could Let me give one second,
please let me add to that. This is something that
I grew up in Arizona. I grew up watching movies
and reading Interview magazine. I thought everybody had it going on.
Then I started treating some of these people like, oh shit,

(35:51):
this is not how it really works. And you know,
I've been blessed to work with some of the wealthiest
people in the world, and a lot of them want
to be me. And I say that kindly because they
don't know how to go to a taco truck and
have a fucking blast. They don't know how to be free.
They don't know how to be right. Money doesn't solve it.
Success doesn't have it. If it did, I'd be out

(36:13):
of business.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
You feel me, Okay, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
You know.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
I think for a lot of people listening and just
tuning in here and this world is new to them.
I know. With AA, you know, one of the first
steps is admitting you have a problem. You know, what's
what's recognizing that you might have a problem in this

(36:39):
lane for somebody look like how what's that self identifying
look like? And then what's the first step for somebody
like that that might be listening to this podcast realizing
this hits home? What next?

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Great? So I always try to keep it simple. Let's
just say our listeners out there struggling with alcoholism, I
am I an alcoholic? Am I asexual? Love attic? Just
google twenty questions am I an alcoholic? And be honest? Okay?
Or do that and then if you answer a lot
of yes, is okay. That's the first start. And then

(37:16):
be brave enough to go online and try to find
a twelve step meeting that fits your particular fiction. Okay,
and just be brave enough to walk in there and
just listen. You don't have to share. Just walk in
and listen. That's the first thing. And see if you
relate or get a book or do something like that,
and just start investigating. But the most important thing is

(37:38):
is you've got to try to be honest with yourself. Also,
encourage people not to do it alone. Live in consultation. Okay.
I always think the program because it's inexpensive. If you
can afford a therapist, do that. This is Another reason
why I'm doing this, okay, is I want to present
things for people who can't afford these kinds of methods.
If this is how I want to help people, you

(37:58):
open with why don't want to do this? I want
people to have techniques for them not to feel so alone.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
I imagine the same uh you know route applies to slaw,
but I think with AA and alcoholism, it's a much
easier thing to identify. How does one identify if slaws
their jam.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Well slaw has the slaw has the questions? Yeah, oh yeah,
they're very specific. You can get a wiggle romana.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
You know a great thing for people to look up
learn about slaw and it's it's really brilliant. It's called
the twelve Characteristics of Slaw and then it breaks down
twelve things. What love addiction is magical thinking, putting, giving
power to our partners, sexualizing our feelings. Just look at
that and once again, try to be honest with yourself

(38:49):
because I've had people read that for the first time
and they break down because it's so powerful, it has
such an impact.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Where can people find that if they want to google?

Speaker 1 (38:59):
I guess we'll have it. Maybe at the end of
the show where people can find these kinds of things
Google s l A A twelve characteristics.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Amazing. I think that's going to definitely open up a
lot of eyes for people listening. So mind it's amazing stuff,
you know. So you know, what's a normal day look
like for you? What's a normal week look like? What's
the life of Sino consists of the.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Life of Cino. What's the normal day? The life Issito.
I'm up at four thirty five pretty much every day.
I never lay in bed and try to figure my
life out. Okay, that's a technique I've learned. I get
right out of bed. I know that my feet and
I clap all right, and I do crazy little things
that work for me, you know, and I say, hey,

(39:45):
it's going to be the greatest day. And then I
do a karate chop like Elvis. I said, yeah, baby, okay,
and then I throw away. It gets me going right,
and I laugh at myself, and then you know, I
throw some water on my face and go to the
bath and put my coffee on. And this is something
that I really want to pass on to people. And
once again, working with great athletes, working with some of

(40:06):
the biggest change agent world. You look for common patterns.
One of the things, they have a morning routine that
they do not move off no matter where they're at
in the world. Okay, and I will generally spend an
hour to ninety minutes, okay, in prayer, meditation, visualization, sending
text out to all my people around the world, Okay,

(40:26):
getting right with myself, thinking about my day. And then
I either go jump in the ocean or I go
to Gold's gym, and then I come in here and
do my magic.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I want you to expand on a little bit what's
coming in here and doing your magic look like typically
and that importance of that routine for you, which I
know you touched on before, but just you.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
Know, well, okay, so first part the second. Let me
so the reason why I do that morning routine is
I know that I'm crazier than most. I have to
work a little bit harder. Okay. I also know this.
I'm going to be sixty years old in September. I've
been around a long time. I've not met one of
the therapists or coach who's showing up working as much

(41:09):
as I am and doesn't blow their head off or loaded. Okay,
so people pay me. I gotta fucking bring it and
I so that requires me to be on a certain frequency.
And I'm dealing with tricky things, you know. I'm dealing
with people that have to tell their partner they just
got HIV. I'm dealing with people, you know, divorce, all

(41:30):
these things that come with addiction. Everybody knows all that stuff.
And I got to be on point because here's the thing,
this is super duper important. Recovery. You know what's what's
the spiritual awakening and recovery? People always ask me, It's
the ability to pause. See, God always gives you thirty seconds.
So that morning routine allows me to step back. I'm

(41:52):
not ready to call this person back. Step back, not respond,
step back, and it helps me find balance.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Makes sense totally. Thirty seven years of sobriety correct, That
is correct. That's very impressive.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
It's a good number.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
It's a great number.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
I can't believe it. Yeah, does it.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Get easier harder? What's that like? Is it just you
don't think about it now or do you have to
think about.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
It a lot? So, for whatever reason, God took the
compulsion to drink away from me every once in a while,
you know. I I'm on first class. There's something and
they bring by. Oh shit, man, I've never tried there's
new drinks out. I haven't tried it yet rarely though.

(42:36):
But that part was easy. The physical sobriety, emotional sobriety
took a long time. You know, I just think you know,
I came in at twenty two. I was getting ready
to go back to prison. At six months. Some guys
try to kill me. There's a contract on my life.
Three to five was learning how not to kill myself

(42:59):
one day at a time because I was dealing with
the kidnapping. You know what I will tell you is
this recovery, doing this inner life work is things aren't
eleven anymore. They have a rout of four. I'm okay
with fours, but I don't want to drink, and I
don't want to run away, and I certainly don't want
to self harm myself anymore. But it's a daily, it's

(43:23):
a daily extraordinary respect because I know this thing. I'm
not out of the woods, and I'm terrified to drink again,
and I hope that never changes.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
It's amazing. I think a lot of people that think
about a change of lifestyle. Think it just sounds boring
and not fun, which you touch on mentioned staying out
a four and you're okay with that. What would you
say to some individuals that are thinking about going down
this road and not you know, liking the idea of

(43:55):
what a different life looks like.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Oh, you get recovery. It's boring. Well, you're in the
wrong recovery then, because we live out loud here. Yeah, okay,
we do things we thought we could. I'm doing things
I never thought possible. We don't just get sober just
to be sober. We're here to dream and and visualize
and do it and we have a fucking blast, so

(44:18):
much fucking fun. And by the way, if you're sober
a while and you're not having fun, shame on you
because you're not sums off. Okay, why get sober if
you're not going to live out loud?

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, you know, you know, I think that's a good point,
because there are people who are sober that aren't living
out loud having fun. How do you get to that
next point where you're not stuck getting unstuck because it's
one thing to you know, break free from the substances.
But if you're still in that place mentally, how do

(44:52):
you help people?

Speaker 1 (44:53):
So let's say somebody comes in that's been sober a while,
but they're a debbie downer, or they've got they're not
having fun, or they're there's something wrong in their belief system.
And so at that point, if I see they're on
that loop, I have to time out. Do you want

(45:13):
to change the loop? Do you want to change the tape?
Do you want to try something different? And then what
I believe and this is something that's changed my life
and I really practice, is yes, some of my techniques.
Let's just say like they haven't they want to see
art or something, or they haven't been out or done anything.
Just go for half an hour, Just go to lackhma

(45:33):
for half an hour, or just work out for ten minutes, okay,
or just do something for master the art of ten minutes,
small accomplishable goals, you know. And what I help What
happened is they start doing that and then maybe some
light comes in they go, oh my god, that was
so much fun. I forgot how to do that, and
you keep pushing them, okay. Or what else I do

(45:57):
is I'll find somebody that needs to help. Somebody here Hey,
Linda needs I need you to go take her to
the Peters Museum for me. Would you take blah blah blah.
And we're a community. We help each other out until
it clicks, and then after a while, if they don't
want to work on that, I just kind of move
on because if you want to be committed to your

(46:18):
sad fucking story, have it. It's all yours.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
What is something that whether people identify with slow or
a or any you know group for that matter, or
even a problem, what's one thing, if nothing else, that
everybody can take away from today's podcast?

Speaker 1 (46:39):
What's the one thing everybody can take one thing whether
you're not alone, you're not alone. There's hope. I promise you,
no matter how far down the path you've gone, there's
a way to wake up. You don't have to be scared.
There's resources for you. Take advantage of them. It's your

(47:03):
responsibility to get help. Nobody Else's one other thing I
think it's really important. That's for you.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
And the next question I have is for the next generation,
and that is what's something all parents can do, whether
they're together or not, for their children.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Great question? What can parents do? One of the things
parents can do is say no. Just say no. I
don't believe in this theory. You're there to be their
best friend, You're there to be their best advocate. You
should have best friends as a parent, as an adult.
I love myce on it okay, but the ability to
say no is really powerful because otherwise the kids are

(47:46):
going to walk over you. And it's hard to bring
that real that back sometimes.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
What was your rock bottom?

Speaker 1 (47:52):
My rock bottom was? You know, I'm not a big guy.
I'm like one ninety now. I was down about maybe
one forty. I was bleeding from my rectum. The drugs
weren't working. I was getting ready to go back to
prison again. I had the shakes in the morning, real dts,

(48:18):
fucking twenty one years old, the shakes U and I
kept drinking and throw up and the world was just
really scary and lonely, and I had a level of
desperation that I never knew before, and there was no
way out.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Definitely a rock bottom. I'm glad you. You know you
were able to crawl out of it.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Fuck me too, man.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
Today, what is intergenerational trauma?

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Intergenerational trauma is, let's just say you come from a
family of alcoholism or violence, or where it's okay to
hit the mom, talk about it to the mom. That's
what you're modeling to your children. You're modeling hate, you're

(49:16):
modeling fuck the rules don't apply to us. You're modeling
the world. We're getting, we're getting, we're getting hustled by
the world, and you just pass that down to your
children because that's all they know. And so when they
get in a fight in school, most parents would be like, Hey, Johnny,

(49:36):
what the hell happened here? I want to know what's
going on. Did you have to somebody? I'm fucking glad
you kicked that kid's ass. That's what we fucking do
in mcguillicutty's family, and you know that's what it is. Yeah,
you just got to keep passing it down, Just keep
passing it down till somebody is break. You know, they say,
you know it is brave enough to say, I know

(49:58):
this is what we do in our family, but not anymore.
It stops here. That's how you win it. It stops
here right now. We're not going to do that. It's
not okay to talk to mom that way. It's not
okay to do that.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
What's your relationship with your dad now.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Like you know my father, you know, God bless him.
Like I said, he did a lot of things right,
but it took me a long time to unpill that
generational trauma. Long long time to really kind of understand
right and wrong. We've butted heads over the years on
different things, you know, when I did. Interestingly, when I

(50:38):
did that podcast, he listened to it and he goes,
I don't remember it that way, and that broke my
heart and I said, Dad, I don't want to dispute
the things. This is a very sensitive subject for me,
so can we please, And he kept going on, and
at that point I took a break from the relationship.
For a long time. We didn't talk to each other,

(51:00):
and then there was an opening and he had a transformation,
I think, And in the last couple of years he's
really kind of realized who I am and what I
do and why it's so important. And my son has
killed him watching my son who he is. And I

(51:20):
love him dearly now and we love each other. I
don't believe in hanging on to resentments. I don't believe
in that because if I'm hanging on to that, the
light can't reach me. Because the light can't reach because
I don't want the help. So it's my responsibility no
matter how people are wrong. We like the kidnappers, I
don't know. The kidnappers gave me my superpowers. They made

(51:45):
me who I am. I don't hold I'm not a
fucking victim to anybody.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
I love that. And I think what you just said
so much to take away from that. But one thing
that just jumped out to me is you know, holding
onto that resentment, because I think it's something that's so
applicable to anybody, whether it's you know, the worst thing
or something small, it's that resentment that takes up space

(52:10):
and not letting the light in. What's it like to
let the light in and let that go? What do
you mean by letting the light in?

Speaker 1 (52:16):
What I mean by that is this? There's there's the
great saying. You know, resentments like drinking the poison, expecting
the other person to die. If I'm like, you fucked me,
then I can't believe you did that. I'm fierce. I'm
fierce and I'm not surrendered, okay. And one of the

(52:37):
things I've had to do, and it's a great, great
it's I think it's one of the best things, twelve
steps teach and once again this for free. It's an inventory,
and in that inventory you write who you're resentful at? Okay,
that's call them one, call them two. What's the cause? Okay, right,

(52:58):
I'm resentful at my girlfriend? Okay, right? Why because she
doesn't pay attention to me moore and she's always pissed
off at me? Okay? What does it effect my recovery? Okay,
my pocketbook, my serenity? Call them four the most important?
Call them Where was I selfish? Just honest and considerate?

(53:19):
How did I hurt others? What's my part? I cheated
on my wife. She doesn't feel safe anymore. That's my part.
So you got to look deep down at what your
part is on the resentment. Now, maybe this is really important, Okay,
maybe like the people like, well, what about the people
that kidnapped you see? And can't you be mad at

(53:40):
them forever? No? No, no, no, no no. But the thing
is I had no wrongdoing in that. But my part
would be is why am I still hanging on to it?
That's what people have to let go. Why are you
still hanging on to something that happened so long ago? Okay?
Does that makes sense?

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Yeah, it does. I think it's the hard part is
that letting go of those things you know, for people.
But that's powerful, it is.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
And by the way, this is very important. Forgiveness doesn't
mean reconciliation. I forgive people, but we're not going to
go hang out and have dinner together. We're cool, move on.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
You know. I know we kind of talked about the
what you're doing here but at SHELL? But why did
you start SHELL?

Speaker 1 (54:34):
So? I started SHELL. I I was very blessed. I
believed in myself and I kind of knew what I
wanted to do in the type of therapy and coaching.
It's interesting when I started, you know, I was the
different psychiatrists and therapists that I studied with and did.
When I told them my treatment modality, they said, I

(54:55):
don't think it's gonna work. Ironically, a lot of those
people are calling me for references right now. So I
knew kind of what I wanted to do. So I
just started out on my own, doing my own thing
in private practice in a little studio apartment down in
Santa Monica. I had pretty quick success. I got to
work with a couple of people pretty quickly. And that
kind of put me on the map. I also made

(55:15):
the first documentary on sex addiction, and one day I
got a call from open Winform and she had me
on the show. I think it was the third highest
rated show that year. That kind of put me on
the map. And then one day I was driving by
here and I saw a sign for sale. I thought, oh,
this could be interesting. And this is when Venice started

(55:40):
really getting costs for going up and I made an offer.
There were a bunch of other offers. The guy was
kooky that owned it. What happened was he had a
drug problem and his son did He said, could I
see his kid help him? And he was so honest.

(56:01):
He goes, I don't have the money to pay you,
and I said, take it out of clothing costs. That's
how I got Shell.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
Actually, it's amazing.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
And my vision for Shell. I wanted a cross between
Motown back when Barry was running it, where Marvin comes
seeing background for Diana and there was such flow and smoky.
It was such love and they were making great music.
And they hate Ashbury Free Drug Clinic, which was the
first drug clinic in the world. They gave out free needles.

(56:28):
It's Okay, you're gonna get high. We just don't want
you to die, no shame. And I wanted to bring
those elements together, and I think we've accomplished that. It's
amazing because it's not just it's an experience. It's not
your hit the button, your therapy. You walk in here,
what is this at art gallery? You gotta poster Ferris

(56:51):
all these things up here? What's going on here? You
got to pick you know, and you have to come
into this environment and be a part of it.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
It's truly special. Thank you. Yeah, man, what do you
consider yourself? Therapist?

Speaker 1 (57:08):
Coach, therapist, coach, big brother, yeah, crazy alcohol neighborhood priest,
love it.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
If you had to pick one, what would you say?

Speaker 1 (57:19):
Trusted advisor?

Speaker 2 (57:21):
Love that. Who are your mentors?

Speaker 1 (57:24):
Bill Wilson, who created Alcoholics Anonymous, Tony Robbins, who blessed
to work with and be in partnership, Rookie the writer,
Rookie a guest that we're going to have on here,
Father Boyle who runs Homeboy Industries. Yeah, I mean yeah.

(57:51):
People that have overcome great obstacles are my heroes.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Tell me about somebody who you really wanted to get sober,
but couldn't. As I imagine in the years of doing this,
that's not all success stories. What's some of those you know,
harder to reach.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Cases look like Michael Jackson.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
It's something you feel comfortable opening up a little bit
more about.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
I just just want to say, darkness got him before
I could. A beautiful guy. It really is a beautiful guy.
Just sometimes darkness gets it before I do.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
Sorious.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
You know, you lose people, many people die.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
It's a real deal for all those that are alive
and struggling with people in their life that this might
not resonate for with them and them having a problem,
but they can visualize it applying to one of their
loved ones or friends or family. What can they do?

Speaker 1 (58:51):
What can they do to help somebody that's struggling?

Speaker 2 (58:54):
Correct?

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Great question. How do the write you know, because there's
so much impac on the attic, what about the partner.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Of the you know, loved ones that it affects.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
It's very very and I'm actually a member of a
very very great problem called alan On and that's to
help the partners of Okay and ellen On. So you
don't feel so alone. So you hear other people that
are struggling with you know, their partners doing that, and
allan on is about compassionate detachment. Okay, you know I

(59:23):
worked with a woman and her husband was a fall
down drunk. She used to lay down next to him
when he would stumble home. Now she walks over him.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Yeah, takes change and it's tough. But I think with
all the through lines, I notice, groups are such an
important one, very powerful, whether it's you're the addict or
on the other side of it. What can you say
about that?

Speaker 1 (59:53):
Well, here's the thing, the reason why twelve steps were
so impactful for me. Number One, I didn't feel alone anymore.
Someone tells your story, you hear something there and you
hear hope, but you also get a reminder of how
you don't want to live your life sometimes and there's
just something a tribe. I always tell this, I'm so

(01:00:15):
glad you could touch on this shells a tribe. Everybody
needs to find a tribe. There's one thing. You cannot
do this thing alone. This disease will have you and
its sights and it will nail you. If you're by yourself,
you will get picked out in the group, and the
tribe harder.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
To get you it's amazing, yeap, So you know, big
thank you for having me today was absolutely enlightening. Just
to kind of end what's the one and note you
would give to all your listeners today as your final
sign off of today's episode.

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
Whatever your higher power is. If you're struggling, if you're
just really struggling with whatever is, I would encourage you
to get on your knees and just pray for the
willingness to be willing to let go and try something different.
But you've got to be very sincere on urus and
really mean it and see what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
That's beautiful. Thank you, Thank you brother. I can't thank
you enough for allingbody to sit in this in your chair,
and uh for you to open up and share with
us as much as you did today. I know it's
usually you guiding others through this process, so it's an
honor and it was amazing and I learned a lot today, frankly,

(01:01:30):
and I think you brought a lot of other people
will as well. And if if people want to reach
out to you and uh, you know, contact you, how
to what's the best way to do so I.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Know you're my manager, what's the best way for them?
To do that. I listened last time on the podcast
in my nativid I told anybody needs help, call me,
whether you're a billionaire, you have a nickel. Well guess what.
Everybody even called me. Okay, I didn't know, but I
honored my commitment and we have so many calls that
we I actually do a call center. But I'm proud
to say that everybody got resource and we've fulfilled all that.

(01:02:02):
So I don't know the best way for people. I
guess you'll figure it out.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Dot com is probably a good start.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Yeah, hey, yeah, shell and hopefully we'll have We're gonna
have a bunch of resources for people. But whatever I
can do to help people out, that I will do guarantee.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
It's amazing. Thank you Cino for allowing me to sit
in your chair for the day and interview you. It's
been an absolute honor. Well, thank you, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
The Sino Show is a production of iHeart Podcasts, hosted
by me Cina McFarlane, produced by pod People in twenty eighth.
Av Our lead producer is Keith Carlik. Our executive prouser
is Lindsey Hoffman. Marketing lead is Ashley Weaver. Thank you
so much. For listening. We'll see you next week.