November 20, 2024 • 59 mins
Legendary boxer Mike Tyson is in the house. Seano McFarland discusses Tyson's tumultuous past, including his struggles with addiction, depression, and personal loss. Tyson opens up about his journey to sobriety, the importance of seeking help, and the transformative power of love and forgiveness. The conversation also touches upon his training, his past relationships, and the impact of his family on his life
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cause only love they counts as yours un stately else
(00:03):
I love Matt, only that matter is yours. But you
feel you love?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, you leave the planet screaming.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
If that's your mantra, I to buy my own execution.
I love my own hands. I escaped that. Why was
I meant to see all this pain? You know, from
drugs and liquor, had no idea what it could do
to you?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And why are you here?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
You think the show people that you know anything. If possible,
you don't give up.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Everybody at Cina McFarlane, welcome back to the SINO Show.
A very special guest today, Michael Gerard Tyson. You know,
we could talk about being the youngest heavyweight champion of
the world, all the shitgan and against, but we might
get in there. But we're talking about waking up. We're
gonna talk about resurrection, about not getting up. And I
just want to say, point blank, I just think that,
(00:51):
you know, brother, you are one of America's last originals.
Just I really believe that to be true. Michael, Welcome,
Thank you, Sina, thank you, it's good to have you here.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
So you and I started fifteen years ago, Yeah, two
thousand and seven, was that fifteen years? No, maybe a
little bit longer. I met Keiki in two thousand and eight,
when we'll talk about that a second.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
You were.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Severely overweight. Yeah, you were depressed, you were junkie, you
were broke, you're getting ready to go back to prison.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yes, oh god, let's not forget that, brother, Yeah, you know,
I do forget this, Never forget that.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
No, those were those were tricky times. And then a
little bit after that, I met Keiki. Who's here today,
Who's the glue who I have so much love for?
And uh, you know, I think I think I might
have it wrong. You guys might have had six thousand
dollars to you. You just had milan. She'd been born
maybe a week Christmas, three weeks, three weeks And the
(01:51):
first time I met Kiki, we met each other, and
she's got milan, And I'm going, is this girl gonna
kick my ass? I mean the look she gave me.
You understand that, don't you know?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm sure she would the limbo too with her life. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, we were trying to all figure it out, weren't we. Yes,
But we figured a few things out along the line.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Huh, few things.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yes, how's your heart, man, what's on your mind right now?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Brother? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I'm just.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I have an event coming up and be as far
I'm fighting.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
So oh yeah, I heard about that, so.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm gonna do that. I'm thinking about that pretty off man.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, how's the training.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Coming coming along? Really well?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
A lot of people want to know, obviously, Michael, why
are you doing this now? Why do you want to
step back in?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Because that one too like testing myself?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Right, you always push yourself, yes, right. Eighty thousand seats
sold out.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yeah, but it's more than that. It's just me getting
off the fence doing something I want to do with
my life because I was living on sads.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
M h.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
And you put a lot of people to work, you
know how much I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Hey, that's just that's just comes with my job. When
I work, everybody works. When I eat, everybody eats, exactly
that that's always been.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, let's go back a little bit, if you don't mind,
would you read a passage from your book?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, all right, and I'll go right here. I'll start
right here. I took a lot of troops back to
Phoenix for various quarter pearances. I was always traveled with Sino.
He was originally from Phoenix, and he was the best
guy to be with. He knew what I was thinking,
even when I wasn't thinking it. He knew I was
listening to those high heels clicking and clicking, and he
gets me arouse. Hearing those high heels was like someone
(03:33):
knocking at my door. Sino and I was out out
to eat, and he knew my demon as well. And
we'll get back from lunch and I'll come over to
him and he'll come over to me, Mike, what's wrong.
And I walk into the restroom. I felt like everyone
was in there and was going like, look at that big, fat,
washed up nigga. So he walked out some signal. He walked,
(03:54):
he worked out some signal. When I get real scared,
I'm very and out and I'm very polite. I'll grab
a long and that's when that's what the signal for
Sino to tell me it's okay, brother, you're cool. Sometimes
all of the work really got to me. The first
time I went to back to Phoenixino thought I was
I was such a high rate that he would tell
(04:14):
me that he was gonna stay with me in the
hotel room, and I was saying, no, you're not, And
I said, nobody's gonna stay with me in my room,
then let's get back on the plane. I knew we
were just up to going to have somebody come over
there and think he was gonna disappear on me, and
that isn't cool. So what do I do? What do
(04:35):
I want to do? I almost clocked him, but but
we slept the side by side in that hotel room.
He could always pick up my rage. What's going through
with your mind right now? Mike? You want to punch me,
don't you? Casino said, yeah, I do want to punch you.
We were like, when you fucking look at me like
(04:56):
that with those irish eyes, I knew. I knew, brother,
I know, brother, But let's let's just stick together and
make this thing work. I had to laugh. You're fucking crazy,
so you know, yeah, you're fucking crazy too, Michael. But
let's just talk this thing out. Oh man, you remember
those days.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You know? Yes, Scott Sill Valley.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Hole, brother, I thought it was hopeless back then.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, because it was not a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
It was hopeless back then.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, And I always think I think that passage is
so beautiful because you you know, the most powerful, you know,
the baddest amount of the planet had asked for help.
I think asking for help is really powerful for people.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
You need to well, you know, I never felt I
never knew. I never knew what the spiral, the spiral
was coming up in my life. I never knew I
was going that deep sparrow and just keep going and
going and going, and it just went out of wax.
I just never knew that can happen in life. Just hopelessness,
(05:56):
and how so many millions of people feel like that,
I have no help.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
You know, you're in a bad spot. Man, You didn't
want to live?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, it was pat so hated to imagine I was
in that spot before.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
How did the light come back on?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Michael? A lot of work, A lot of work with
a lot of people. I was. I had just lost
a child that not long ago from a arm at
home accident, and I felt really depressed about that, and
I felt life was over. But then I realized they
(06:36):
have other children to live for too, you know, I
just learned life and them over till you say is
over right.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
You've got so many great sayings, you know, but one
of them that I really loved is let me see
it here. I'm a dreamer. I have to dream and
reach for the stars. And if I missed a star,
I grab a handful of clouds. Yeah, you're fucking poet.
What inspired that?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't know about my poet, but just not giving
it up right, I don't know. You got to grab something. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
You know a lot of people over the years said,
why did Mike trust you? What's the answer to that?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
And one else did try? But yeah, yeah, I don't know.
It just worked out. I didn't think it will work out,
but it just worked out.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
It just worked out.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It worked out. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Do you remember our first meeting here?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
No? Yeah, it wasn't good, was it. Well?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You were you were checking me out as you should,
like what's up with this guy? And like you were,
you know, were like, okay, so you know you're the
the big guru on sex addiction and recovery, you know,
but so tell me.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
What is it? I said, it's a great I didn't
think I had a problem.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, that's how fucking denial you were. Why did you
not think you had a problem?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So that's what one day. But you're a young guy,
your famous, Your fuck everybody in the world. Right, I
just thought, you know, that's just with the belief that
he became famous because I wanted everything. I wanted to
have every woman. I wanted to have a call, every house,
every plane, every quote. That's that's what this stuff was
all about, right, And.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
So you know, you're looking at me kind of sarcastic
and kind of didn't want to be here. And you
asked me, and I said, that's a great question. Michael said,
here's a dell and I looked. I pointed back there
and had a picture of Nikola, my wife, and my
son Dylan. I said, when I'm in my addiction, I
don't give a fuck about them, I don't give a fuck.
I don't care. I'll do what the fuck I want
to do. And he said, that's my guy. And then
(08:40):
it's you know, we haven't looked back since then.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And so I had to think, you know that I
didn't care about my family at one time. Yeah, and
that really I I used to believe this, that AA
has been a failure, but it worked for me. Huh.
You know, the most of people, the percentage of the
people that that that I met that was involved with alcohol.
(09:07):
The anonymous all failed, but it worked for me, right,
It just works for me?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Why the works for you?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I had something to fall back on when I get arrested,
I go to AA. Something bad happened to me and
something that I get problems with the law. I go
to A that was my That was my security, right,
you know, because I know those they're talk for me.
And if they talk for me, the courts can't do
ship to me. Right right, A twin blade saw it.
I get in trouble, but I run back to you too.
(09:36):
You know, it's like a security blank here. I know
if I get in trouble, I run back to these guys.
They start talking to these legal people and the court
people boom, and I know I'm out of the court system.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
The thing one of the things I loved about you
is you never wanted to go to private meetings. You've
always went to plan.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I was talking to me about that yesterday. I said,
if you go to private meeting, you see the whole
Hollywood in there. You gotta go everybody, you gotta use.
You gotta go to the to being with the junkies
in the street, go to it. You gotta go with
the high rollers, go to to you have to do
both of them, one of them. You have to see
that both the same. There's no when it comes to
junk being a junkie, being addicted, they're both the same.
(10:14):
No one's more superior.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I always think that's well. You know, one of the
things about you is you never forgot that part of
you where you came from, the junkie part, all the
shit that you came up around. You see that in
other people. Nobody can read a room like your brother.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
No, but it's just some I'm not ashamed of it.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I know you're not ashamed of it. Yeah, and that
one of the many blessings is spending time with you,
is you're actually a good father.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Now, that was something that was avoiding. I was avoiding
that for a long time. But that that was a
lot of that was a lot of work I didn't
understand doing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You know, let's talk about that. Yeah, what would you
learn there?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I used to have to be responsible for people who
had nothing to do with my situation. They would not
have to cause me being a junkie, and maybe some
guy that wanted to have sex with everybody. It wasn't
their fault, but there suffering greatly from it. You know,
they're suffering from it. You couldn't have a you couldn't
(11:14):
have a nanny around me, you couldn't have the way
around me. Yeah, it didn't matter the beautiful ugly.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
That was just Oh God, older young, it matter you.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You had an episode lately where you almost died.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, I was talking about that. I had a ruptured
ulcer and I didn't And for a week I was.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I was.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I was training tremendously and everything went great, and then
I got sick everything from this fire. Everything was just
calling great, and I got sick in the air plane.
But I had told my wife to stop buying processes too,
because I ate some process gummies and some pretzels. Let's
take one or two of them. And then my stomach
(12:10):
started hurting. And so we were on a plane going
coming from Miami, going to Los Angeles, and I just
started feeling this. I started spitting across of blood, and
I got out the bathroom and I passed out. And
next thing I know, I was on some ivy. I'm
on the plane, I'm on the floor, and I'm just
(12:32):
totally embarrassed. I don't know what happened. Wow. And then
as soon as we land, we got in the ambulance.
We went to the hospital and we had eight blood.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Transfusions eight eight in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
For eleven days, twelve days. Right, it gave twenty I
lost twenty five pounds at that time. Wow. And it
was scary because I kept staying they kept putting the
camera down my throat, they kept taking blood, they kept
giving me blood. And I said, I was just asking
(13:10):
the doctor, the doctor my litter die or something, because
she said, well, she didn't say yes, and she didn't
say you know, she'd say we have options, and that
didn't make us feel good. So I just didn't like
when the doctor said, I can't believe he's still out
your miracle going on all leading This was like my
fifth planet blood transision. When he said this, and he
(13:32):
couldn't but he didn't believe I wasn't dead or in
a coma. Wow. And so I was like, God, that's
that's made our family. I had. We had to plan
my funeral right there in the hospital.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Really.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
It was humbling experience.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, it was homeless to the fact that I wasn't nervous.
Is scared for some reason. Maybe it was in that
moment because I felt great, and the doctors kept saying,
and I have to go get more blood, get more blood,
and I didn't understand that. So eventually worked out, and
I'm very grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
It brought you closer to Kiki. Yeah, yeah, tell me
about that, how to bring you closer there?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Because during the process I was preparing for this funeral,
we both I can't believe how calm we both were.
We weren't hysterical or anything.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
We knew what it was, what it was, mm.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Hmmm mm hmmmm. Mike, you know, I know you pretty well,
and I think about where you came from. I think about,
you know, being a cad, your mom doing that stuff,
being around all that stuff, having Cuss in your life,
all the great teachers in your life, Kiki coming in
(14:53):
your life. I feel like there's always been a calling
for you and higher in your life. You're You're meant
to be on this planet, not just to knock motherfuckers out.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I don't know. I always feel I feel that way
as well, but I guess everybody feel they're here for
a reason. You know, you can't even if the suffer,
to help other people understand stuff. And it's not as
bad as we believe it is. Everybody's here for reason.
I believe everybody learns from each other.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Why are you here anythink.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
To show people that you know anything is possible. We
don't give up, right, anything's possible, right, right, right, right right?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I Uh, what's you know? One of the things that
I've known with you for many years, she just fought
taking loving But you're not fighting it as.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Much other things. I got over there. I guess, I
guess we have sometimes really do it. That flares up
every now and then, but it's nothing. It would be fullow.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I want to talk about the play that you did
that your wife.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Wrote, Undisputed Truth. Huh, Undisputed Truth and the Bitch Switcher.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
You know, when it was first announced, people like, what,
Mike Tyson's going to be on Broadway? Like really? And
and it was a smash And I was with you,
and when you were doing the rehearsals in the theater
in New York with Spike and you had your speech
coach and you were treating it like a fight. Well
yeah it was right, yes, yeah, we talk about that
(16:33):
were you.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I I did it, but and I believed in it.
But I didn't know. I didn't understand the the theater.
I didn't understand the mojo and the theater stuff. So
when we first did it, I went out there made
a comment and anybody started laughing, and I didn't want
(16:55):
to that.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
We're talking about your dad, No, my dad too, Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
People started laughing. But I didn't want that. I wanted
to Oh, fuck man, but that's not what I gots
as the baby, baby, what's going on? And she used
to just go, I keep going, keep going. And then
we continue to do it, and it became successful, and
we did it all over the world. All over the world.
I did it. We went to do it in some countries.
(17:21):
I would talk and then the commentator would talk and
they would I would get to laugh afterwards. You know,
it came later and it just was crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
You guys pulled off something really magical. I mean, that
was so fucking brave to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Well, that's just who I am. I don't I don't
look at it being brave. I look at this testing myself.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
You always love to push yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, I won't do anything if I have a project,
I won't do anything if it doesn't risk me, humiliate
myself and that's just who I am. You know, you's
gotta be comfortable being uncomfortable, and it's been comfortable. It's
been very difficul me to be uncomfortable because I've done
almost everything to make me feel uncomfortable. But I keep trying. Yeah,
(18:06):
I know you will.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Let's talk about persistence. You know you would run in
the snow because you knew that other people want to
be running in the snow. Can we talk about that?
Why it's important?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Everything is important when you prepare it. Preparation is important.
Preparation you know, even could prepare for life. And you know,
you know you can't tell the future, but you could
tell from everybody else's life. Look at everybody else's life.
This is the possibility this could happen to you. So
I always look at the possibility of other people being
my possibility as well as I have a great life
(18:42):
being hells I have a horrible life being unhealthy, But
it's pretty much depended on me.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Beautiful man, what jams you up these days?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I don't know more than my children, and personally we've
been pretty we've been pretty stable together. Family.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Should we talk about the total Yeah, come on, let's
get on. Okay, talk about how you got, how you got,
who turns you on to and what happened there.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Well, I was doing a lot of drugs and hanging
out with a lot of girls and doing a lot
of liquor. It's the basic. But my what do you
call that?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
My bottom?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, my low, my lowest movement. I do a lot
of drugs, mostly cocaine and liquor. No listen, no marijuana.
When I'm doing what I did, cocaine and my liquor.
Marijuana doesn't exist in my life. And that's just my
that's just my basic, my my basic bottom. Cocaine, sex filing,
(19:40):
that's just what it was all about. And that's just
what I did. And you know, I used to don't
know how we get out of there, So I kept
I kept getting lower and lower and lower. And I realized,
if I never got involved with this, saved my life.
(20:01):
Program saved my life. Right, I never got involved with
the program. If I never started dating people in the
program that was quality people of the program, I would
have been in school. The program saved my life, no
doubt about it.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
When did you first do the total? Let's talk about
the total?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I did the told when my partner would introduced me
to a shaman and he was talking about drugs. I
thought it was really a narcotics he was talking about,
and I was very interested in trying it, and he
was telling me he didn't told me it wasn't. He said,
you gotta have the best hot you ever had in
your life. I said, let's do it right now. He said, no,
we got it. It's a procedure, he got, you know,
(20:40):
lay analysts in the music, and so I've done that.
And once I've done that, I was the scarce moment
of my life. I never felt like that before in
my life. I felt that I was in other worlds
dealing I mean, it was just something I never experienced
and was dealing with a form of death that I've
(21:01):
never experienced before, and it was just it's not hard
to explain, but it's hard to believe that you can
go to another another plain field in life other than
this existence that we live in that I've never been
the same. I must have did it over ninety times.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Now I've done ninety times.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
The yeah, and it's just somewhere I go to when
everything else is.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
And why do you go to for now you're looking
for clarity, understanding, you want to connect with the god.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, I'm looking for answers, looking for answers. Yeah, I
might handle this situation. What am I gonna have to
do to overcome this part of my life?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Will you do it before the fight?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I've already done it, but I always do it before fight,
do you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Wow? Wow, it's cracked your heart too, Would you say
it opened me up?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Yeah, it opened you up to what not being afraid
of death?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Right? I think that's what it was created for, to
die in dignity, with dignity and not having to hang
up and being afraid that not to be here anymore
because you know there's another place go to.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
That's just my perspective of it, that we never die.
That's why I learned some of the told that she
would never actually die. And we've all been here together before.
We're all family, all eight billion of us whatever on
this planet. We're all family members. M hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
It definitely changed you, Yeah, definitely changed you because you've
been sober?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
How long now, baby is agoing to nine years?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Nine years sober?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Sleven? Are you sure.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Let's call it eight?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah? I think it's that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, wow, because.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
That was that was amazing to get me to stop
you and drugs and liquor, even when I'm upset, even
when I'm depressed, something no desire for that. Know, that
was the part of my life that I passed through it.
I don't need to go back. You know.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I spent a lot of time with you, and I
was thinking about this, and I think about when is
Michael his happiest? And it always comes back to you know,
last time I went to visit you in Las Vegas,
when I was with you with your pigeons, because I
get to see the little boy in you. Why does
that provide you so much happiness?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
It's just what it is. I can't explain it, Huh.
I can't explain it. And anyone that flies pigeons as
long as I have, there's been doing this as they
were ten years old, a year old. I believe this.
I believe that we forgot why we love them so much.
You just forget they've been in your life so much.
(23:47):
It's just everywhere you go, you have to have them there.
So to me to really explain what they really mean
to me, it's almost impossible because they've been there from
the beginning. The only means all this stuff, Mike Tyson
be in famous stuff because then I had one fight
over a pigeon and I never stopped fighting. That was it.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That's what started, right And.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I've never stopped for it every day since then? Right there,
three times a day for all day, right.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Right, I mean you really know, like you'll go to tournaments.
You're really into it, all right.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah, Once it's in your blood, it's just like it's
like drugs. Right, Once it's in your blood, it's hard
to get it out. It's impossible. Right, I'll be eighty
years old. If I lived at eighty and ninety, I'll
still have birds.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Right, Yeah, I know you will. That's great. What Michael,
what do you what advice she? You know a lot
of people that are struggling with addiction or thinking about relapsing.
What's your advice to them?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Hey, don't take yourself too serious. That's a form of
relapse too, just putting yourself at a pedestal that you're
important and you really don't feel that way, but you
have to put that front on, you know, living the
lives of number one cause of addiction, not living in
your truth, not.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Living in truth. That's beautiful, Yeah, because you don't get
hit that often with relapsing, right, No, it's frit's gone
pretty much right, No, but.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
It's also spiritual relapsing too. You. Yeah, you don't have
to be you don't have to be using no drugs,
but your spiritual relapsing is the same equivalent of using drugs.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
What's what's an example of a spiritual relapse?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Just not giving a fuck. I'm respecting yourself and not
respecting the people. Like when I was talking to me,
I said, he listen, we have to stop the drinking.
Regular you're letting down. You're letting down your AA brothers,
your sober brothers, You're letting them down. You know. That's
why when I'm here and I think about I don't
even think about it. If I was drinking, we letting
everybody else down. If I if I, this is what
(25:43):
they're beginning. They been trying to get me to own
a liquor company. Uh huh, and I can't. I said, no,
I don't want to do. But they don't get Everybody saying,
you know how much money you can make in this
liquor program, this liquor business, Michael, it's sick crazy because
they want to do it. Even the people that don't
drink and doing they're using their name. But I have
too many people I'm letting down if I did that,
it's interesting people, all these people. I've been letting too
(26:06):
many people down. If I had a liqued company. Right,
that's the only me that I don't do it. It's
because of my my brother, my followers, but the fellowship.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Right, you're loyal people. I've always loved that about you.
You're fucking really loyal and I appreciate that. But your
cannabis company is a different story.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, it's doing really good in my Pechadelic company. But
that's just what I can I have a tobacco company,
and that's just what I'm interested in doing. But I'm
not interested in doing nothing. Alcohol, nothing right, nothing good
for you.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, it really it brings up a lot of emotions
when you think about the alcohol, doesn't it. Yeah, tell
me more about that, brother.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
She has made such a fool out of myself. Right, Fuck,
I heard people I could never heard. I heard people
I could never get apology for. Mm hmmm that would
(27:14):
never accept my biology.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Mm hm you know that feeling? Yeah, of course I do.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Right, I'm so bad. He can't forget have too much,
they can't forget.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah yeah, mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
So I know that exists. You know, I didn't want
to be better in my life with my wife and kids, right,
I feel it really exists.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Alcohol brings out a different ugliness and people.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, you don't care about knowing the feelings. It's just
say the crazy ship. It's just didn't it didn't really,
it didn't do me any good. It's just I was
addicted because of family trauma and all that stuff. Everybody
have another drink. My mother, my father was stepping father drink,
(28:08):
my brother and my sister. Everybody came to my house
to drink. It was a party house. M m. Then
they finished drinking. They so fucking at the house. The
kids they start drinking and going the room and stuff.
Fucking the kids were all here at.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The in the room, right right, yeah, yes, yeah, that's
probably a good segue. But you know some of the
work we did around you know about you imagining yourself
in that hallway, scary with all the stuff that was
going on, your mom doing her thing, different people inappropriate,
people touching you, and you've learned how to love your
(28:48):
little boy. Can you talk about that how you feeled
a lot of that trauma, Michael.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Well, listen, I just realized I didn't want I didn't
want them to have my trauma. And it was very
easy because the past that out m M. You know,
and I just wanted a different life, right, you know,
I want to as they they break them all.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yeah, you and I talk about it. You know how
much I love my boy dealing. You know how much
I love them. We've we've raised our kids together, and
any generational trauma is the most important thing. When you
get sober and and you and kick you're doing that
and your kids feel safe, that's a big deal. Children
(29:31):
need to feel safe. They should be worried about what
their parents are going.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
To do well to be very safe. But I'm trying
to take that to my older children who I didn't
have the chance to. We lay that too.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You know, how are you doing that?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I mean we always put them together as much as possible,
always together as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Leading by example, taking time, right, taking more other Yeah right, Yeah,
that's been powerful watching you do that.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, what's.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Can read some of the things you wrote here? I
meet God every day I look in the mirror. What's
that about, brother.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Well, that's that's who. That's who they say God, because
they say that your your version of God is just
that you could die. You know, my daughter is reading
it to me in the Bible. She's reading the Bible
and this show that we're all made in Gard's image.
It's just that we can die. We're capable of dying.
God's not than that we have the image.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
How do you keep your ego and check these days?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Sir? I don't know how I keep it in check,
but I have it in a position where it doesn't
affect my family. My family, it's not about I'm doing this.
I'm paying for this. Your guys, listen to be the
reason that we're doing all this stuff is because I
do this this I I So we don't do that anymore.
You know, we understand that we're a team or whatever
(30:54):
we do, we do it together. M h God.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You know one of the things that we would do,
you know, we would travel around and do a bunch
of different things, and a lot of things trigger you.
People trigger you. Right, You've gotten a lot better at
being patient and not getting jammed up.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I've heard that from a lot of people's right, I'm
very patient. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
When did that? When did that become more important to you?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Well, I stopped getting lawsuits, attacking people, yelling at them
and scaring them for talking to me a thing hide
to me. Yeah, And I realized he has come with
the job and go after people. The people scream me
and name and all that stuff they used to irritate me,
which I worked so hard to get. And I realized
that he's come with the job.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Comes with the job.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
You know, people are always asking me what's you know,
what's the spiritual awakening and recovery or whatever? And I
always come back with the same answer. It's the ability
to God always gives you thirty seconds just to step
back and say nothing to something and walk away. We're
straining of Pennington.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It all costs, and get out of my head. Get out.
It comes comes from getting be a hanging out in
here a bad neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
What's some Michael, what's your training schedule like now for
this thing? I can just tell man, you're going to
hyper focused on this thing.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Oh, I said, I get what I give them. In
the morning, I work out, just sit with my rowers
and stuff. And I go to the gym earlier. They'll
do my bike or my treadmill again, and then I
do my box and I'll do about six mounds I'm
working out in the gym with boxing. Then I'll do
another hour with my stentthy condition right afterwards, right do
(32:44):
strength and conditioning. And then after that I give up
my sage and then I get my thirty on my legs.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Wow, and how many days a week are you doing
that every day? Are you doing it every day? Are
you still getting up like at four four thirty?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yes? And what I do? I do that when I'm
not all right?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I know that's we used to work. I used to
pick you up at four thirty. We would be at
the gym at five. You know, those were good days, man.
You know what else was good days? Driving down pH
singing James Brown with you. Those were good days.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Getting a yogurt man, it was special. Yeah. Drive out
to Malbury. You always want to drive out to Malboy.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I love to see it. When we drive in the
road you can see that.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah, you love that strip over there. That's sweet. I
want to talk to people have been in your life?
What's JFK Junior.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Like, Wow, what was he doing? It's a great it's
awesome energy. Right. He loved the world, he'd loved and
enjoying himself in the world, love having fun. But when
he told me about the plane, I didn't like the plane.
Didn't then settle will with me?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
When he told you he's gonna start flying, Yeah, him personally,
I didn't why. Something didn't feel right about it.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
No, why would you want to do that? Why would
you get a g flap and somebody just tried you
fly you all over the place. I said, listen, they
would love to give you a G five and you
could promote it. They would do it for me, so
I know they'd do it for you. And he said, no,
I don't want that. I don't want that. I want
impre this and that he was somebody that wanted to
be like a nobody, which is that was never gonna happen,
(34:18):
you know. And I was saying, you know, you have
to go into politicies. He thinks. I said, yeah, you
have to go to politics. So it damed for you
to be a politician. You have to do it. And
so your mother's side and your father's side, they were
all politicians, you know, what I mean for his grandfather
from his mother's side. He was a politician too, fitz
Gerald here's a politician pretty much. He ran his everywhere
(34:42):
he lived at and so did Joe Kennedy on both sides.
He had political political ambition, and I thought he I
think he really wanted to do it, but he wanted
to feel the feeling of how the policy, what was
the temperature of people think that he should do it.
I thought everybody thought that he should have been predid. Yeah, landslide, landslide.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
How'd you guys meet?
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Listen, I'm riding. I've seen this guy. I'm riding a
motorcycle and this guy is out and hey, he goes
like this, and I'm saying, that's James's JFK right there.
But we kept going and we were crazy, and then
I I don't know if he much have told somebody.
He met me real quick and I rode by real
quick on a bike. But then we realized that someone
(35:28):
put us together. Me. I went to George the office.
George and that's the magazine. Yeah, that's what I meant. Man.
Oh wow, he was pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I heard a special guy.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
His staff was awesome and it's just really it's really
great energ to be in front of M.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
What about Tupac? Tell me about your relationship with him.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Very explosive guy. It's beautiful. He's one of those guys
wherever he was was a crowd followers. You know, he
was a he was a guy that he was a
he was a leader without even know you would just
follow her m m. Anything he's saying them on the records,
people would do it. If he was mad at somebody,
(36:15):
he would talking to rink and talk about that person.
That people have so many thousands of people that hate them.
It's just the power that he had that he didn't understand.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Did he remind you of you a lot? A lot?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Right? Yeah, just didn't give a fuck, but he did,
but he didn't know how to give a fuck. M.
You know, I didn't know how to care mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
How long were you guys spouse for?
Speaker 1 (36:39):
I think I met him in ninety one and then
he was His mother wrote me a letter and asked
that he said that he wanted to come visit me.
I said that's okay, and that's how it really met him.
He started coming visiting me in ninety three. Oh ninety three.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Wow, wow, Wow, did James Brown come visit you in prison?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Do you remember that? Do you you tell me what
James did about combing his hair?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Listen, he was he was just talking about He's just
that this guy had the biggest ego in the world, right,
he was just talking about himself and how everybody trying
to compy in which he probably was right. Everybody copied me.
Jackie Wilson copied me. He got mad at me, Jackie Wilson.
And this guy is and you see him, he was
(37:23):
just he was like two points two. He had no
the strength he is self. He can do whatever he wants.
Hm hm, Yeah, he just didn't care about the lord.
He came about them. He did whatever he wanted. And
he went to jail for a long period of time too,
and it didn't phase him then faced him at all
(37:43):
being in jail. He was just that person. He was
just a stone hard command that's what he was. Yeah,
he stayed there with him too. Today he died. It's
a hard man.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
M didn't you tell me he told you a story
about how to do good time for I need to
tell you a story about he was combing his hair
and the guy with the brother.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
No, no, listen, someone has this so disrespectful about it,
right right, and he's told really, he's doing his hair.
He wasn't having a guy was telling him that he
had to pay some fees or something, right right, And
next thing you know, James doesn't excuse me. James Brown
kicked his ass.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
He knocked him out right, and the next thing you.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Know, people coming vit him. He was James God's body.
He was James Brown's body. Wow, he was.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
He was fierce.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah, imagine that. The guys try to move on you,
they thing, you know, he's your body? God? Right, did
you kick the ass?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
You watch people and the people like James Brown that
died hard and that did you pay attention to that?
Speaker 1 (38:46):
And like I didn't want to come hundred percent?
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Tell me about that, Michael, What did you see with people?
Speaker 1 (38:51):
I just realized people, I realized what I wanted to
be and what I did wouldn't be right. You know,
I loved the Amaya James Brown, but he lived the
hell of a life, a hard life, a real hard life,
you know, all balls to the walls is a hard life.
And he never had a he never had an easy day.
(39:12):
And it's like every ding was hard and he allowed that.
He that was his reason, his problem. He wanted to
live his life like that. I think he didn't have
what I had. He didn't have you.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I like you.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
They stay around and let him.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Know love him up.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, that's You're not God, neigga. Everybody loves you. He's
hard for people like that to accept love when at
the kick of the hill, how could you manage because
only love that counts as yours? When in that state,
nobody else is loved matter, Only that matters yours, which
you feel you.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Love, leave the planet screaming. If that's your mantra, Yes, right,
and we're knocking out that way. Brother.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I was looking forward to going out that way. But unfortunately,
but fortunately that didn't happen. But I was thinking I
was gonna go out of this world screaming.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
I know you were got pretty close a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I look at my life as something very special because
I survived it. I survived my own astricution by my
own hands. M hm, So I escaped that.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Would you say? The majority of time you're pretty abused
with yourself?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Yeah, I don't know. Listen, I haven't I don't know.
I haven't cheated on my life and my wife in
a few years, probably three years, two years, around three years.
That's a bit that. Listen. If I didn't cheat my
wife in a month, that's a miracle. A month I
was straight. A month, well, I'd be the animal that was.
(40:50):
Oh that's a that's a victory. Now I have a
couple of years after.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah, why is that so important to you, sir?
Speaker 1 (40:59):
I don't know. That's been my only really major issue
in life, and whatever other issues I had was the
cause of that. That was the cause of it. So
since I'm not that way anymore, I don't have those issues.
I don't have those issues and my wife. If I'm
having an argument with my wife is about time. Maybe
(41:22):
she's spending too much time here or here. That's the
only arguments I have pretty much.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
You know, your acting out was interesting to me because
a lot of it wasn't about the actual sexual act.
It was just you were desperate for love.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
That could have been it, really yeah, because that's what
sex addiction is. If they put there that, they normally
when they say I have a sex ediction class, they
they forget the love, sex and love. They forget the
love that the driving equates wasn't. They're not the same,
but they're very close. They appear to be the same
because of the feelings feeling pretty much the same, not.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
The same, and getting that love had from some strangers
sometimes it is the best ope in the world.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Wow, it's it's yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Talk about that, Michael.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
It was just it was just my whole gimming, always
having I would get off the plane, I would see
another students from someone that works in the airport that
escorts me, and she was squored and she would just
scored me right to the lady's bathroom and the men's bathroom,
have sex. But that's the plane, right, What do you
call those people that pick you up at the plane escorts? Right? Yeah, yes,
(42:36):
the plane. She grabbed me walk right into the bathroom.
Yeah yeah, not not a public in the office. Go
to the office and go into the private bathroom. Yeah right.
I never listened. I just said hi to them.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
And it's like I was playing for on methings. Didn't
walk right into the bathroom. It's like it's planned right,
Like it's like the say this is gonna happen today,
and you can't believe this. You just can't believe. You
get us a plane the escort, dear, I'm talking about
the plane that's going, not the escort prostitutory, and they
(43:11):
escort you straight to the office and then you go
into the bathroom office.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Well I had I think sometimes you forget you're one
of the most famous people in the world that people
want to do that with you. And also the reason
why they do that is because your energy says I'm available.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yes, oh I have I don't have that. I don't
have that that vibe anymore, No, that vibe.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
People don't do that when they don't do that. And
wife integrity, you make her feel safe.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
It's the energy, you know. But it comes down to
you want to make your family safe. It's not about
it's the right thing to do, because you want to
do it right. And that became my whole, my whole
basically basically, it's okay at home, and the kids are
good and just all the kids, not just my kids
(44:03):
that have well, all the kids. We're all friends. We
are working becoming better friends.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah, I know you are, buddy, and it's I think
to one of the things you've gotten is just like
I still want drama. No, I still want. I got
ship to do.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
I don't want Drama's gonna always be there. I don't
want it, but dramas gonna always be there. I guess
what it is. It's just the energy that people have
with you to bring the drama. I had the energy
all that sex stuff and me and not thinking me
and I'm thinking I'm a lover. But it's not love.
It is the energy you have, the energy, somebody's gonna
(44:36):
pick it up, you know, because somebody else there had
the same energy, right, And I learned a lot about energy.
I learned a lot about it.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Let's yeah, talk about energy and how you change your
energy and the energy you put out energy.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Whatever energy you put out there is you're an encounter, right,
no matter what it is, you're gonna encount it. So
always think about throwing them. There's humble energy out there,
you know what I me ammonal and energy out there,
and it's one just one to respect. The love that
I get.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Feels good, right, Yeah, that's all I would feels good.
Are you going back to training today?
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I'm gonna go back to training on Monday.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
And you're loving training?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Right? Hey? Getting it's getting there. Man, it's breaking my
body there, but I got to build back up. I'm
doing good though.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
You feel strong though, yes, yeah, powerful.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yes, right, I'm getting better. I'm feeling stronger here, right,
That's where it starts to click when it's stronger here.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah, yeah, How does that happen? Michael? How does that happen?
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Repetition? Repetition? It's like we have repetition that's not drinking,
repetition of having a parttive attitude, repetition of just respecting
your peers has to be repetition. Everything is repetition, fighters, repetition.
Prepare for this job is repetition, everything repetition. You just
can't do it one time and be the best over
and over and over and again. Discipline is doing what
(45:59):
you hate to do, but do it not like you
love it.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Amen, right on, right?
Speaker 1 (46:03):
How did you come up with that? That's because that's
my mentor is saying, because they.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Right, Yeah, because you you're Once you get on track,
you don't move off it. Whatever it is you do.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
You know.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
The toughest place to do that is actually learning how
to forgive yourself and love yourself.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Though I'm working on that. It's becoming a lot better.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
I know who you are, fuddy, Yeah, I know who
you are. That's the ultimate fight.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
You know, no one would know what it feels like
to ask for a men's and not get it. And
you have to. You have to go to the experience
and go to the program. Because the program is working,
everything's working, so you think they this is the miracle
of the program. Then you ask for the man. Man,
everybody's giving you a minute. Yes, I forgive you. And
(46:47):
then you ask another person and they don't forgive.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Me, right, and then but our job is if someone
says they don't take it, our jobs to respect that.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
They say, don't push it.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
You know you don't go well, no, you respect and
you move on.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yes, but leave it. Leave it leaves a taste in
your mouth.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Listen, a lot of people in your life, Michael, have
stolen from you, misrepresented and betrayed you, all kinds of
bullshit since you were fucking the kid. How have you
forgiven people? How do you forgive? Why is forgiveness so important?
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Forgiveness is that's self that's self healing. Really, forgiveness is
self healing, is not it's not out of healing. So
I do most of my best interests in anything.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Now you work really hard on not living in the
past and not letting people land on you. Proud of
you for that, buddy.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
That used to really too much going on in the
future for that.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Yeah, it used to brag to me about what a
bad person you was. And I said, I don't want
to hear that negative to self talk anymore. You don't
do that anymore. I said, just because you came up
that way doesn't mean that's who you are anymore.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
No, you're absolutely right, isn't that right? Brother? Absolutely right?
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Can we talk about Kiki for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
You wouldn't talk about.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Okay, can we just I just she's the glue. I'm
just I'm just glad you guys are together and you're
on a high frequency together.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Well, I don't know, she's the glue. We called our
daughter the glue. They called it the glue.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Why she's the glub?
Speaker 1 (48:22):
Because she is?
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's a superpower. There's something very right
about it.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
I don't know what we would have been without it.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, I understand that feelings that way from me.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
We didn't have what you and it never came to
the Utah festival.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Right, Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
She probably would have wung that was somebody else on
somebody else and left me in rehab. You know what
I mean, that's what that's normally how it goes exactly,
to go to rehab. My girlfriend's not my girlfriend anymore. Right,
I thought that was gonna basically happen with Kiki, But
I guess since we had the baby, that was that
(49:01):
was gonna be a fall fall. Long conclusion to me,
has hung out together. Yeah, and we made this stuff work.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
We made it work, and it's beautiful. It's working out.
It's working out really good. She got your back.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I wish my friends were still alive because they thought
when I married her it was disastrous.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
What would you tell him now, huh, what would you
tell some of your friends that that was a disaster?
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I said, I said, why don't you get married? I'm
getting married and said, if you're married for two years.
My friends said, if you're married for two years, I'll
get married, and like a year and a half, he died, right, Yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
One, no one thought you were gonna stay alive, let
alone stay married.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Yeah. Really, it was just my friend kept saying, Mike man,
I wish you stopped using this cocaine. But if you don't,
don't worry. I'm gonna have a fucking hell of a
funeral for you. Man, We will have a hell of
a funeral. Don't just know when you're dying, you're gonna
have a hell of a funeral, right, remember that? Right?
He's always telling me that you're proud.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
And there's a part of you that doesn't want to
diet junkie. No, you've seen too many people like that.
It's a fucking horrible way to go out. There's no
dignity in it. Man, It's funky. Man.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
I always wondered why was I Why was I meant
to see all this paid, you know, from drugs and liquor. Fuck,
I had no idea what it could do to you.
Mm hm, no idea.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
You know what, buddy, I don't know. We all have purpose,
we're all here to do something. But I think you're
a healer at the end of the day. Yeah, I
believe that, Michael, because you what you went through and
what you've done, and you're and and you're there's so
much love in you. You're a healer. You help people
not give up.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Well, I like to think that. No, it's powerful. That's
what I meant. Did to me.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Yeah, right, and you're passing it on, you're honoring it though.
People look up to you. You know, there's like Jesus Christ,
MI can do it. I mean, fuck, you really inspire people.
I know that is important to you.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Well, life is just a test, yeah, and without a
test is no testimony.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Ye, you've been tested quite a few times though.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Man. Well I put my sh I put myself in
the and the focus of those tests. I put myself
out there to be tested. Not intentionally, mm hm, it
just happened.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
I think another reason why you and I got along
so well, Like you know, you would be on one
and I would find out when you're coming off the
plane and I'd reach at the airport and and you
give me that look. I said, you're ready. No, I said,
call me when you're ready. I love you, and you
go yeah. But it I could see it bothered you
when I would be at the airport and you were
(51:37):
getting ready to fucking go do your thing. But I
never forced you because I just it doesn't work then,
and I knew that wouldn't worked with you. You're you're
ready when you're ready, right, Michael, isn't that right?
Speaker 1 (51:48):
It has to be because I would never you could
pay me to go back there, get right, didn't paid me,
and I part ten times worse than that can remember
it to be, but I remember it was bad.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
I think one of the things that no one knows,
like when all your friends really cut you off pretty much, well,
you have nobody but yourself and you're out there, and
that's what drugs in alcohol do by yourself, and it
tells you you have to be by yourself, don't be
around anybody, right.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Yeah, that's a different level of solitary confinement. That's real madness.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Yeah yeah. And as you and the drugs, it's got
you where it was you by yourself, no one can
give you any kind of advice.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Right.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
That's how I'm always with people that I'm never alone. Yeah, alone,
because the the the disease want you to be alone.
Love you part of one.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Mike Tyson feeling sorry for himself. Get more coke over here, mother.
Speaker 1 (52:55):
Give them nasty bitch you go, yeah, give you of
an area these.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
Well, you know, you're in that kind of great place
when people get in recovery where you just can't imagine
ever going back. You know, it's just not it's just
too good, right, I can't.
Speaker 1 (53:13):
Remember certain relationship and arguments I have my wife. I'll
go right back to drugs. You can't pay me to
go back, go back. It's just that's side of my life, right.
I might get in some street fights and go to
jail for that before I ever get in trouble for drugs.
Speaker 2 (53:28):
Yeah, that's powerful. Yeah, that's super powerful.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Well, you have to go through well, you know, you
have to go through what we went through to say that,
because you see how hard the people to give it up, Right,
you have to go through that. You have to walk
through the that plank of fire. If you walk through that,
you don't want to see that. You don't want to
do that no more.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
M hmm. Everybody knows. Of course, Cuss being a great inspiration.
Who else has been great inspirations.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
To listen the people in the program and stuff that's
great before saving my life people in the program, because
that's their job to save lives. Even though they fail
a great deal, but it's their job and they know
how to do their job. It's just that the players
that they're playing with and not going with the program.
(54:16):
You know, the only reason you can win it in
this program if you go with the program. That's right,
you have to stay with the program. You know, antler nature.
So that's what any kind of trouble like ya was
explaining that someone. Yes, they've interviewing me. I said, whenever
I get any trouble anything, I go right to the program.
I used to know. This is good for me? Is it?
It works for me?
Speaker 2 (54:37):
It balances you out, You just forget about life little yea.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Certain people that I know it doesn't help, but it
helps me. It helps me telling those people.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Yeah, yeah, you now still go to meetings. Meetings work
for us. They're powerful, right. You hear something, Yes, you
hear something something, Something might save your life that day.
Speaker 1 (54:54):
That's what this is what really makes the program successful.
I think the meetings, right, that's what makes it very successful.
That's what people succeed in this program is because of
the meeting.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah, now you you were all on us we talked
about earlier. What do you want to tell people about?
Anything else you want to share about?
Speaker 1 (55:15):
It is that I think I was pulling this world
to make a difference, right. I think I was because
things that I do people make big things a little
closer stuff, I say, people make them. You know, I
don't know, but I think I was here for a
readon to help people, not to do nothing bad, not
(55:35):
to make a lot of money, to be rich and glorified,
but just that might come with it, But that's not it.
Speaker 2 (55:42):
Money's never moved you. I know that about it. I've
always loved that about you. You want at the end
of the day. You want a sense of peace.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
My mentors like that. He wasn't money inclined. We didn't
think about money. We thought money is a force of security.
You know you have money, you don't think you could
you know you can die. And I was watching television
and I was watching or Deal when everybody invaded Puffy's
house and no one was there hit their children were there,
(56:11):
And I realized that I don't care how much money
you have. You can't protect anybody from hurting your children,
and people that you love, you can't protect them hurting themselves.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
All that was going through your head when you watched
that footage.
Speaker 1 (56:24):
When they had his children. Yeah, I said, all the
money in the.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
World, can you understand that kind of pain?
Speaker 1 (56:30):
Right? You get it can't help them. Listen, if someone
I had problems, somebody got excitedly shot your son, all
the money in the world can't savor them. Right.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
Yeah, you've known some of the most wealthiest people, you know. I.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
Oh, they've been there, and they're in this room. They're
in the rooms too, trying to get the help. They're
trying to get the help to realize they realized that
this is not all This money is not what it's
made up to be.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
You know.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
I had realized when I was younger, in my forties
that if you never if you if you never had
a lot of money before, right, if you never had
a lot of money, you never know what it's like,
right you just it's not what you think. It's not like, Wow,
my life is gonna be totally happy. I'm never gonna
(57:18):
have any problems. Fortune. If you if you think a
lot of money is gonna make you happy, you never
had a lot of money before, never had a lot
of money, Unfortunately, I don't know. Unfortunately, I see, I
unfortunately had a tremendous amount of money one time, and
(57:38):
I was never happy. I was never happy.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
It's nice to have you got some financial security now.
Speaker 1 (57:45):
Though, right, Well, that's cool too for my kids and
stuff and my wife. But even having security for them,
when are they gonna secure themselves? Right?
Speaker 2 (57:54):
Yeah, you know what I mean, let's talk about that.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
Yeah, when of what? What is it my job to
secure you? Or the teacher how to secure yourself?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Teaches right, that's right, that's right. Teach him out of fish.
I tied down how to fish. He's pulling some big fish.
Speaker 1 (58:11):
I teach him how to feilsh right?
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (58:15):
And sometimes I'm just very happy. I have a good
family base, We have good understanding with a.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
Lot of love. We talked about a lot of love
going on, and it's important to you. It's good. It's
important for you to write the ship with everybody.
Speaker 1 (58:28):
Right. My science one, people under think you don't have
to be somebody. If you know you're not, it doesn't
necessarily mean it's somebody. Because a lot of people know
you and you're celebrity. That have to make somebody that
just give you, that should give you the attention of people.
That don't mean you're a good person a bad person.
You have to establish who you want to be in life.
(58:50):
You know you can't establish and high being. The joke
given my basis of life.
Speaker 2 (58:54):
Let's just keep the love going, Michael, Let's just keep
the love going.
Speaker 1 (58:58):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
Let's keep the hilling going. Let's keep the forgiveness going.
Speaker 1 (59:02):
Yeah, forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (59:03):
Let's keep giving, right, Let's just keep just keep pushing forgiveness.
It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is the level, matters
of the truth. What matters is right. Yeah, we're doing
the right thing. Yeah, I know you feel like right off.
The Sino Show is the production of iHeart Podcasts, posted
by me Cina McFarlane, produced by pod People in twenty eighth.
(59:27):
Av Our lead producer is Keith Carlik. Our executive producer
is Lindsey Hoffman. Marketing lead is Ashley Weaver. Thank you
so much for listening. We'll see you next week.
Cause only love they counts as yours un stately else
(00:03):
I love Matt, only that matter is yours. But you
feel you love?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, you leave the planet screaming.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
If that's your mantra, I to buy my own execution.
I love my own hands. I escaped that. Why was
I meant to see all this pain? You know, from
drugs and liquor, had no idea what it could do
to you?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And why are you here?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
You think the show people that you know anything. If possible,
you don't give up.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Everybody at Cina McFarlane, welcome back to the SINO Show.
A very special guest today, Michael Gerard Tyson. You know,
we could talk about being the youngest heavyweight champion of
the world, all the shitgan and against, but we might
get in there. But we're talking about waking up. We're
gonna talk about resurrection, about not getting up. And I
just want to say, point blank, I just think that,
(00:51):
you know, brother, you are one of America's last originals.
Just I really believe that to be true. Michael, Welcome,
Thank you, Sina, thank you, it's good to have you here.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
So you and I started fifteen years ago, Yeah, two
thousand and seven, was that fifteen years? No, maybe a
little bit longer. I met Keiki in two thousand and eight,
when we'll talk about that a second.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
You were.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Severely overweight. Yeah, you were depressed, you were junkie, you
were broke, you're getting ready to go back to prison.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yes, oh god, let's not forget that, brother, Yeah, you know,
I do forget this, Never forget that.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
No, those were those were tricky times. And then a
little bit after that, I met Keiki. Who's here today,
Who's the glue who I have so much love for?
And uh, you know, I think I think I might
have it wrong. You guys might have had six thousand
dollars to you. You just had milan. She'd been born
maybe a week Christmas, three weeks, three weeks And the
(01:51):
first time I met Kiki, we met each other, and
she's got milan, And I'm going, is this girl gonna
kick my ass? I mean the look she gave me.
You understand that, don't you know?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm sure she would the limbo too with her life. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, we were trying to all figure it out, weren't we. Yes,
But we figured a few things out along the line.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Huh, few things.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yes, how's your heart, man, what's on your mind right now?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Brother? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I'm just.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I have an event coming up and be as far
I'm fighting.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
So oh yeah, I heard about that, so.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm gonna do that. I'm thinking about that pretty off man.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, how's the training.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Coming coming along? Really well?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
A lot of people want to know, obviously, Michael, why
are you doing this now? Why do you want to
step back in?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Because that one too like testing myself?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Right, you always push yourself, yes, right. Eighty thousand seats
sold out.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yeah, but it's more than that. It's just me getting
off the fence doing something I want to do with
my life because I was living on sads.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
M h.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
And you put a lot of people to work, you
know how much I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Hey, that's just that's just comes with my job. When
I work, everybody works. When I eat, everybody eats, exactly
that that's always been.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, let's go back a little bit, if you don't mind,
would you read a passage from your book?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, all right, and I'll go right here. I'll start
right here. I took a lot of troops back to
Phoenix for various quarter pearances. I was always traveled with Sino.
He was originally from Phoenix, and he was the best
guy to be with. He knew what I was thinking,
even when I wasn't thinking it. He knew I was
listening to those high heels clicking and clicking, and he
gets me arouse. Hearing those high heels was like someone
(03:33):
knocking at my door. Sino and I was out out
to eat, and he knew my demon as well. And
we'll get back from lunch and I'll come over to
him and he'll come over to me, Mike, what's wrong.
And I walk into the restroom. I felt like everyone
was in there and was going like, look at that big, fat,
washed up nigga. So he walked out some signal. He walked,
(03:54):
he worked out some signal. When I get real scared,
I'm very and out and I'm very polite. I'll grab
a long and that's when that's what the signal for
Sino to tell me it's okay, brother, you're cool. Sometimes
all of the work really got to me. The first
time I went to back to Phoenixino thought I was
I was such a high rate that he would tell
(04:14):
me that he was gonna stay with me in the
hotel room, and I was saying, no, you're not, And
I said, nobody's gonna stay with me in my room,
then let's get back on the plane. I knew we
were just up to going to have somebody come over
there and think he was gonna disappear on me, and
that isn't cool. So what do I do? What do
(04:35):
I want to do? I almost clocked him, but but
we slept the side by side in that hotel room.
He could always pick up my rage. What's going through
with your mind right now? Mike? You want to punch me,
don't you? Casino said, yeah, I do want to punch you.
We were like, when you fucking look at me like
(04:56):
that with those irish eyes, I knew. I knew, brother,
I know, brother, But let's let's just stick together and
make this thing work. I had to laugh. You're fucking crazy,
so you know, yeah, you're fucking crazy too, Michael. But
let's just talk this thing out. Oh man, you remember
those days.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You know? Yes, Scott Sill Valley.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Hole, brother, I thought it was hopeless back then.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, because it was not a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
It was hopeless back then.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, And I always think I think that passage is
so beautiful because you you know, the most powerful, you know,
the baddest amount of the planet had asked for help.
I think asking for help is really powerful for people.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
You need to well, you know, I never felt I
never knew. I never knew what the spiral, the spiral
was coming up in my life. I never knew I
was going that deep sparrow and just keep going and
going and going, and it just went out of wax.
I just never knew that can happen in life. Just hopelessness,
(05:56):
and how so many millions of people feel like that,
I have no help.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
You know, you're in a bad spot. Man, You didn't
want to live?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, it was pat so hated to imagine I was
in that spot before.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
How did the light come back on?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Michael? A lot of work, A lot of work with
a lot of people. I was. I had just lost
a child that not long ago from a arm at
home accident, and I felt really depressed about that, and
I felt life was over. But then I realized they
(06:36):
have other children to live for too, you know, I
just learned life and them over till you say is
over right.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
You've got so many great sayings, you know, but one
of them that I really loved is let me see
it here. I'm a dreamer. I have to dream and
reach for the stars. And if I missed a star,
I grab a handful of clouds. Yeah, you're fucking poet.
What inspired that?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't know about my poet, but just not giving
it up right, I don't know. You got to grab something. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
You know a lot of people over the years said,
why did Mike trust you? What's the answer to that?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
And one else did try? But yeah, yeah, I don't know.
It just worked out. I didn't think it will work out,
but it just worked out.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
It just worked out.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It worked out. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Do you remember our first meeting here?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
No? Yeah, it wasn't good, was it. Well?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You were you were checking me out as you should,
like what's up with this guy? And like you were,
you know, were like, okay, so you know you're the
the big guru on sex addiction and recovery, you know,
but so tell me.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
What is it? I said, it's a great I didn't
think I had a problem.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, that's how fucking denial you were. Why did you
not think you had a problem?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So that's what one day. But you're a young guy,
your famous, Your fuck everybody in the world. Right, I
just thought, you know, that's just with the belief that
he became famous because I wanted everything. I wanted to
have every woman. I wanted to have a call, every house,
every plane, every quote. That's that's what this stuff was
all about, right, And.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
So you know, you're looking at me kind of sarcastic
and kind of didn't want to be here. And you
asked me, and I said, that's a great question. Michael said,
here's a dell and I looked. I pointed back there
and had a picture of Nikola, my wife, and my
son Dylan. I said, when I'm in my addiction, I
don't give a fuck about them, I don't give a fuck.
I don't care. I'll do what the fuck I want
to do. And he said, that's my guy. And then
(08:40):
it's you know, we haven't looked back since then.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And so I had to think, you know that I
didn't care about my family at one time. Yeah, and
that really I I used to believe this, that AA
has been a failure, but it worked for me. Huh.
You know, the most of people, the percentage of the
people that that that I met that was involved with alcohol.
(09:07):
The anonymous all failed, but it worked for me, right,
It just works for me?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Why the works for you?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I had something to fall back on when I get arrested,
I go to AA. Something bad happened to me and
something that I get problems with the law. I go
to A that was my That was my security, right,
you know, because I know those they're talk for me.
And if they talk for me, the courts can't do
ship to me. Right right, A twin blade saw it.
I get in trouble, but I run back to you too.
(09:36):
You know, it's like a security blank here. I know
if I get in trouble, I run back to these guys.
They start talking to these legal people and the court
people boom, and I know I'm out of the court system.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
The thing one of the things I loved about you
is you never wanted to go to private meetings. You've
always went to plan.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I was talking to me about that yesterday. I said,
if you go to private meeting, you see the whole
Hollywood in there. You gotta go everybody, you gotta use.
You gotta go to the to being with the junkies
in the street, go to it. You gotta go with
the high rollers, go to to you have to do
both of them, one of them. You have to see
that both the same. There's no when it comes to
junk being a junkie, being addicted, they're both the same.
(10:14):
No one's more superior.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I always think that's well. You know, one of the
things about you is you never forgot that part of
you where you came from, the junkie part, all the
shit that you came up around. You see that in
other people. Nobody can read a room like your brother.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
No, but it's just some I'm not ashamed of it.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I know you're not ashamed of it. Yeah, and that
one of the many blessings is spending time with you,
is you're actually a good father.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Now, that was something that was avoiding. I was avoiding
that for a long time. But that that was a
lot of that was a lot of work I didn't
understand doing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You know, let's talk about that. Yeah, what would you
learn there?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I used to have to be responsible for people who
had nothing to do with my situation. They would not
have to cause me being a junkie, and maybe some
guy that wanted to have sex with everybody. It wasn't
their fault, but there suffering greatly from it. You know,
they're suffering from it. You couldn't have a you couldn't
(11:14):
have a nanny around me, you couldn't have the way
around me. Yeah, it didn't matter the beautiful ugly.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
That was just Oh God, older young, it matter you.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You had an episode lately where you almost died.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, I was talking about that. I had a ruptured
ulcer and I didn't And for a week I was.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I was.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I was training tremendously and everything went great, and then
I got sick everything from this fire. Everything was just
calling great, and I got sick in the air plane.
But I had told my wife to stop buying processes too,
because I ate some process gummies and some pretzels. Let's
take one or two of them. And then my stomach
(12:10):
started hurting. And so we were on a plane going
coming from Miami, going to Los Angeles, and I just
started feeling this. I started spitting across of blood, and
I got out the bathroom and I passed out. And
next thing I know, I was on some ivy. I'm
on the plane, I'm on the floor, and I'm just
(12:32):
totally embarrassed. I don't know what happened. Wow. And then
as soon as we land, we got in the ambulance.
We went to the hospital and we had eight blood.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Transfusions eight eight in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
For eleven days, twelve days. Right, it gave twenty I
lost twenty five pounds at that time. Wow. And it
was scary because I kept staying they kept putting the
camera down my throat, they kept taking blood, they kept
giving me blood. And I said, I was just asking
(13:10):
the doctor, the doctor my litter die or something, because
she said, well, she didn't say yes, and she didn't
say you know, she'd say we have options, and that
didn't make us feel good. So I just didn't like
when the doctor said, I can't believe he's still out
your miracle going on all leading This was like my
fifth planet blood transision. When he said this, and he
(13:32):
couldn't but he didn't believe I wasn't dead or in
a coma. Wow. And so I was like, God, that's
that's made our family. I had. We had to plan
my funeral right there in the hospital.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Really.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
It was humbling experience.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, it was homeless to the fact that I wasn't nervous.
Is scared for some reason. Maybe it was in that
moment because I felt great, and the doctors kept saying,
and I have to go get more blood, get more blood,
and I didn't understand that. So eventually worked out, and
I'm very grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
It brought you closer to Kiki. Yeah, yeah, tell me
about that, how to bring you closer there?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Because during the process I was preparing for this funeral,
we both I can't believe how calm we both were.
We weren't hysterical or anything.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
We knew what it was, what it was, mm.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Hmmm mm hmmmm. Mike, you know, I know you pretty well,
and I think about where you came from. I think about,
you know, being a cad, your mom doing that stuff,
being around all that stuff, having Cuss in your life,
all the great teachers in your life, Kiki coming in
(14:53):
your life. I feel like there's always been a calling
for you and higher in your life. You're You're meant
to be on this planet, not just to knock motherfuckers out.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I don't know. I always feel I feel that way
as well, but I guess everybody feel they're here for
a reason. You know, you can't even if the suffer,
to help other people understand stuff. And it's not as
bad as we believe it is. Everybody's here for reason.
I believe everybody learns from each other.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Why are you here anythink.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
To show people that you know anything is possible. We
don't give up, right, anything's possible, right, right, right, right right?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I Uh, what's you know? One of the things that
I've known with you for many years, she just fought
taking loving But you're not fighting it as.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Much other things. I got over there. I guess, I
guess we have sometimes really do it. That flares up
every now and then, but it's nothing. It would be fullow.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I want to talk about the play that you did
that your wife.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Wrote, Undisputed Truth. Huh, Undisputed Truth and the Bitch Switcher.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
You know, when it was first announced, people like, what,
Mike Tyson's going to be on Broadway? Like really? And
and it was a smash And I was with you,
and when you were doing the rehearsals in the theater
in New York with Spike and you had your speech
coach and you were treating it like a fight. Well
yeah it was right, yes, yeah, we talk about that
(16:33):
were you.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I I did it, but and I believed in it.
But I didn't know. I didn't understand the the theater.
I didn't understand the mojo and the theater stuff. So
when we first did it, I went out there made
a comment and anybody started laughing, and I didn't want
(16:55):
to that.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
We're talking about your dad, No, my dad too, Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
People started laughing. But I didn't want that. I wanted
to Oh, fuck man, but that's not what I gots
as the baby, baby, what's going on? And she used
to just go, I keep going, keep going. And then
we continue to do it, and it became successful, and
we did it all over the world. All over the world.
I did it. We went to do it in some countries.
(17:21):
I would talk and then the commentator would talk and
they would I would get to laugh afterwards. You know,
it came later and it just was crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
You guys pulled off something really magical. I mean, that
was so fucking brave to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Well, that's just who I am. I don't I don't
look at it being brave. I look at this testing myself.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
You always love to push yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, I won't do anything if I have a project,
I won't do anything if it doesn't risk me, humiliate
myself and that's just who I am. You know, you's
gotta be comfortable being uncomfortable, and it's been comfortable. It's
been very difficul me to be uncomfortable because I've done
almost everything to make me feel uncomfortable. But I keep trying. Yeah,
(18:06):
I know you will.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Let's talk about persistence. You know you would run in
the snow because you knew that other people want to
be running in the snow. Can we talk about that?
Why it's important?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Everything is important when you prepare it. Preparation is important.
Preparation you know, even could prepare for life. And you know,
you know you can't tell the future, but you could
tell from everybody else's life. Look at everybody else's life.
This is the possibility this could happen to you. So
I always look at the possibility of other people being
my possibility as well as I have a great life
(18:42):
being hells I have a horrible life being unhealthy, But
it's pretty much depended on me.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Beautiful man, what jams you up these days?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I don't know more than my children, and personally we've
been pretty we've been pretty stable together. Family.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Should we talk about the total Yeah, come on, let's
get on. Okay, talk about how you got, how you got,
who turns you on to and what happened there.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Well, I was doing a lot of drugs and hanging
out with a lot of girls and doing a lot
of liquor. It's the basic. But my what do you
call that?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
My bottom?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, my low, my lowest movement. I do a lot
of drugs, mostly cocaine and liquor. No listen, no marijuana.
When I'm doing what I did, cocaine and my liquor.
Marijuana doesn't exist in my life. And that's just my
that's just my basic, my my basic bottom. Cocaine, sex filing,
(19:40):
that's just what it was all about. And that's just
what I did. And you know, I used to don't
know how we get out of there, So I kept
I kept getting lower and lower and lower. And I realized,
if I never got involved with this, saved my life.
(20:01):
Program saved my life. Right, I never got involved with
the program. If I never started dating people in the
program that was quality people of the program, I would
have been in school. The program saved my life, no
doubt about it.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
When did you first do the total? Let's talk about
the total?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I did the told when my partner would introduced me
to a shaman and he was talking about drugs. I
thought it was really a narcotics he was talking about,
and I was very interested in trying it, and he
was telling me he didn't told me it wasn't. He said,
you gotta have the best hot you ever had in
your life. I said, let's do it right now. He said, no,
we got it. It's a procedure, he got, you know,
(20:40):
lay analysts in the music, and so I've done that.
And once I've done that, I was the scarce moment
of my life. I never felt like that before in
my life. I felt that I was in other worlds
dealing I mean, it was just something I never experienced
and was dealing with a form of death that I've
(21:01):
never experienced before, and it was just it's not hard
to explain, but it's hard to believe that you can
go to another another plain field in life other than
this existence that we live in that I've never been
the same. I must have did it over ninety times.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Now I've done ninety times.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
The yeah, and it's just somewhere I go to when
everything else is.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
And why do you go to for now you're looking
for clarity, understanding, you want to connect with the god.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, I'm looking for answers, looking for answers. Yeah, I
might handle this situation. What am I gonna have to
do to overcome this part of my life?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Will you do it before the fight?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I've already done it, but I always do it before fight,
do you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Wow? Wow, it's cracked your heart too, Would you say
it opened me up?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Yeah, it opened you up to what not being afraid
of death?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Right? I think that's what it was created for, to
die in dignity, with dignity and not having to hang
up and being afraid that not to be here anymore
because you know there's another place go to.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
That's just my perspective of it, that we never die.
That's why I learned some of the told that she
would never actually die. And we've all been here together before.
We're all family, all eight billion of us whatever on
this planet. We're all family members. M hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
It definitely changed you, Yeah, definitely changed you because you've
been sober?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
How long now, baby is agoing to nine years?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Nine years sober?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Sleven? Are you sure.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Let's call it eight?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah? I think it's that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, wow, because.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
That was that was amazing to get me to stop
you and drugs and liquor, even when I'm upset, even
when I'm depressed, something no desire for that. Know, that
was the part of my life that I passed through it.
I don't need to go back. You know.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I spent a lot of time with you, and I
was thinking about this, and I think about when is
Michael his happiest? And it always comes back to you know,
last time I went to visit you in Las Vegas,
when I was with you with your pigeons, because I
get to see the little boy in you. Why does
that provide you so much happiness?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
It's just what it is. I can't explain it, Huh.
I can't explain it. And anyone that flies pigeons as
long as I have, there's been doing this as they
were ten years old, a year old. I believe this.
I believe that we forgot why we love them so much.
You just forget they've been in your life so much.
(23:47):
It's just everywhere you go, you have to have them there.
So to me to really explain what they really mean
to me, it's almost impossible because they've been there from
the beginning. The only means all this stuff, Mike Tyson
be in famous stuff because then I had one fight
over a pigeon and I never stopped fighting. That was it.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That's what started, right And.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I've never stopped for it every day since then? Right there,
three times a day for all day, right.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Right, I mean you really know, like you'll go to tournaments.
You're really into it, all right.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah, Once it's in your blood, it's just like it's
like drugs. Right, Once it's in your blood, it's hard
to get it out. It's impossible. Right, I'll be eighty
years old. If I lived at eighty and ninety, I'll
still have birds.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Right, Yeah, I know you will. That's great. What Michael,
what do you what advice she? You know a lot
of people that are struggling with addiction or thinking about relapsing.
What's your advice to them?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Hey, don't take yourself too serious. That's a form of
relapse too, just putting yourself at a pedestal that you're
important and you really don't feel that way, but you
have to put that front on, you know, living the
lives of number one cause of addiction, not living in
your truth, not.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Living in truth. That's beautiful, Yeah, because you don't get
hit that often with relapsing, right, No, it's frit's gone
pretty much right, No, but.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
It's also spiritual relapsing too. You. Yeah, you don't have
to be you don't have to be using no drugs,
but your spiritual relapsing is the same equivalent of using drugs.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
What's what's an example of a spiritual relapse?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Just not giving a fuck. I'm respecting yourself and not
respecting the people. Like when I was talking to me,
I said, he listen, we have to stop the drinking.
Regular you're letting down. You're letting down your AA brothers,
your sober brothers, You're letting them down. You know. That's
why when I'm here and I think about I don't
even think about it. If I was drinking, we letting
everybody else down. If I if I, this is what
(25:43):
they're beginning. They been trying to get me to own
a liquor company. Uh huh, and I can't. I said, no,
I don't want to do. But they don't get Everybody saying,
you know how much money you can make in this
liquor program, this liquor business, Michael, it's sick crazy because
they want to do it. Even the people that don't
drink and doing they're using their name. But I have
too many people I'm letting down if I did that,
it's interesting people, all these people. I've been letting too
(26:06):
many people down. If I had a liqued company. Right,
that's the only me that I don't do it. It's
because of my my brother, my followers, but the fellowship.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Right, you're loyal people. I've always loved that about you.
You're fucking really loyal and I appreciate that. But your
cannabis company is a different story.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, it's doing really good in my Pechadelic company. But
that's just what I can I have a tobacco company,
and that's just what I'm interested in doing. But I'm
not interested in doing nothing. Alcohol, nothing right, nothing good
for you.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, it really it brings up a lot of emotions
when you think about the alcohol, doesn't it. Yeah, tell
me more about that, brother.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
She has made such a fool out of myself. Right, Fuck,
I heard people I could never heard. I heard people
I could never get apology for. Mm hmmm that would
(27:14):
never accept my biology.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Mm hm you know that feeling? Yeah, of course I do.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Right, I'm so bad. He can't forget have too much,
they can't forget.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah yeah, mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
So I know that exists. You know, I didn't want
to be better in my life with my wife and kids, right,
I feel it really exists.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Alcohol brings out a different ugliness and people.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, you don't care about knowing the feelings. It's just
say the crazy ship. It's just didn't it didn't really,
it didn't do me any good. It's just I was
addicted because of family trauma and all that stuff. Everybody
have another drink. My mother, my father was stepping father drink,
(28:08):
my brother and my sister. Everybody came to my house
to drink. It was a party house. M m. Then
they finished drinking. They so fucking at the house. The
kids they start drinking and going the room and stuff.
Fucking the kids were all here at.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The in the room, right right, yeah, yes, yeah, that's
probably a good segue. But you know some of the
work we did around you know about you imagining yourself
in that hallway, scary with all the stuff that was
going on, your mom doing her thing, different people inappropriate,
people touching you, and you've learned how to love your
(28:48):
little boy. Can you talk about that how you feeled
a lot of that trauma, Michael.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Well, listen, I just realized I didn't want I didn't
want them to have my trauma. And it was very
easy because the past that out m M. You know,
and I just wanted a different life, right, you know,
I want to as they they break them all.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yeah, you and I talk about it. You know how
much I love my boy dealing. You know how much
I love them. We've we've raised our kids together, and
any generational trauma is the most important thing. When you
get sober and and you and kick you're doing that
and your kids feel safe, that's a big deal. Children
(29:31):
need to feel safe. They should be worried about what
their parents are going.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
To do well to be very safe. But I'm trying
to take that to my older children who I didn't
have the chance to. We lay that too.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You know, how are you doing that?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I mean we always put them together as much as possible,
always together as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Leading by example, taking time, right, taking more other Yeah right, Yeah,
that's been powerful watching you do that.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, what's.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Can read some of the things you wrote here? I
meet God every day I look in the mirror. What's
that about, brother.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Well, that's that's who. That's who they say God, because
they say that your your version of God is just
that you could die. You know, my daughter is reading
it to me in the Bible. She's reading the Bible
and this show that we're all made in Gard's image.
It's just that we can die. We're capable of dying.
God's not than that we have the image.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
How do you keep your ego and check these days?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Sir? I don't know how I keep it in check,
but I have it in a position where it doesn't
affect my family. My family, it's not about I'm doing this.
I'm paying for this. Your guys, listen to be the
reason that we're doing all this stuff is because I
do this this I I So we don't do that anymore.
You know, we understand that we're a team or whatever
(30:54):
we do, we do it together. M h God.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You know one of the things that we would do,
you know, we would travel around and do a bunch
of different things, and a lot of things trigger you.
People trigger you. Right, You've gotten a lot better at
being patient and not getting jammed up.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I've heard that from a lot of people's right, I'm
very patient. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
When did that? When did that become more important to you?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Well, I stopped getting lawsuits, attacking people, yelling at them
and scaring them for talking to me a thing hide
to me. Yeah, And I realized he has come with
the job and go after people. The people scream me
and name and all that stuff they used to irritate me,
which I worked so hard to get. And I realized
that he's come with the job.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Comes with the job.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
You know, people are always asking me what's you know,
what's the spiritual awakening and recovery or whatever? And I
always come back with the same answer. It's the ability
to God always gives you thirty seconds just to step
back and say nothing to something and walk away. We're
straining of Pennington.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It all costs, and get out of my head. Get out.
It comes comes from getting be a hanging out in
here a bad neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
What's some Michael, what's your training schedule like now for
this thing? I can just tell man, you're going to
hyper focused on this thing.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Oh, I said, I get what I give them. In
the morning, I work out, just sit with my rowers
and stuff. And I go to the gym earlier. They'll
do my bike or my treadmill again, and then I
do my box and I'll do about six mounds I'm
working out in the gym with boxing. Then I'll do
another hour with my stentthy condition right afterwards, right do
(32:44):
strength and conditioning. And then after that I give up
my sage and then I get my thirty on my legs.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Wow, and how many days a week are you doing
that every day? Are you doing it every day? Are
you still getting up like at four four thirty?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yes? And what I do? I do that when I'm
not all right?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I know that's we used to work. I used to
pick you up at four thirty. We would be at
the gym at five. You know, those were good days, man.
You know what else was good days? Driving down pH
singing James Brown with you. Those were good days.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Getting a yogurt man, it was special. Yeah. Drive out
to Malbury. You always want to drive out to Malboy.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I love to see it. When we drive in the
road you can see that.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah, you love that strip over there. That's sweet. I
want to talk to people have been in your life?
What's JFK Junior.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Like, Wow, what was he doing? It's a great it's
awesome energy. Right. He loved the world, he'd loved and
enjoying himself in the world, love having fun. But when
he told me about the plane, I didn't like the plane.
Didn't then settle will with me?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
When he told you he's gonna start flying, Yeah, him personally,
I didn't why. Something didn't feel right about it.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
No, why would you want to do that? Why would
you get a g flap and somebody just tried you
fly you all over the place. I said, listen, they
would love to give you a G five and you
could promote it. They would do it for me, so
I know they'd do it for you. And he said, no,
I don't want that. I don't want that. I want
impre this and that he was somebody that wanted to
be like a nobody, which is that was never gonna happen,
(34:18):
you know. And I was saying, you know, you have
to go into politicies. He thinks. I said, yeah, you
have to go to politics. So it damed for you
to be a politician. You have to do it. And
so your mother's side and your father's side, they were
all politicians, you know, what I mean for his grandfather
from his mother's side. He was a politician too, fitz
Gerald here's a politician pretty much. He ran his everywhere
(34:42):
he lived at and so did Joe Kennedy on both sides.
He had political political ambition, and I thought he I
think he really wanted to do it, but he wanted
to feel the feeling of how the policy, what was
the temperature of people think that he should do it.
I thought everybody thought that he should have been predid. Yeah, landslide, landslide.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
How'd you guys meet?
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Listen, I'm riding. I've seen this guy. I'm riding a
motorcycle and this guy is out and hey, he goes
like this, and I'm saying, that's James's JFK right there.
But we kept going and we were crazy, and then
I I don't know if he much have told somebody.
He met me real quick and I rode by real
quick on a bike. But then we realized that someone
(35:28):
put us together. Me. I went to George the office.
George and that's the magazine. Yeah, that's what I meant. Man.
Oh wow, he was pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I heard a special guy.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
His staff was awesome and it's just really it's really
great energ to be in front of M.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
What about Tupac? Tell me about your relationship with him.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Very explosive guy. It's beautiful. He's one of those guys
wherever he was was a crowd followers. You know, he
was a he was a guy that he was a
he was a leader without even know you would just
follow her m m. Anything he's saying them on the records,
people would do it. If he was mad at somebody,
(36:15):
he would talking to rink and talk about that person.
That people have so many thousands of people that hate them.
It's just the power that he had that he didn't understand.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Did he remind you of you a lot? A lot?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Right? Yeah, just didn't give a fuck, but he did,
but he didn't know how to give a fuck. M.
You know, I didn't know how to care mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
How long were you guys spouse for?
Speaker 1 (36:39):
I think I met him in ninety one and then
he was His mother wrote me a letter and asked
that he said that he wanted to come visit me.
I said that's okay, and that's how it really met him.
He started coming visiting me in ninety three. Oh ninety three.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Wow, wow, Wow, did James Brown come visit you in prison?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Do you remember that? Do you you tell me what
James did about combing his hair?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Listen, he was he was just talking about He's just
that this guy had the biggest ego in the world, right,
he was just talking about himself and how everybody trying
to compy in which he probably was right. Everybody copied me.
Jackie Wilson copied me. He got mad at me, Jackie Wilson.
And this guy is and you see him, he was
(37:23):
just he was like two points two. He had no
the strength he is self. He can do whatever he wants.
Hm hm, Yeah, he just didn't care about the lord.
He came about them. He did whatever he wanted. And
he went to jail for a long period of time too,
and it didn't phase him then faced him at all
(37:43):
being in jail. He was just that person. He was
just a stone hard command that's what he was. Yeah,
he stayed there with him too. Today he died. It's
a hard man.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
M didn't you tell me he told you a story
about how to do good time for I need to
tell you a story about he was combing his hair
and the guy with the brother.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
No, no, listen, someone has this so disrespectful about it,
right right, and he's told really, he's doing his hair.
He wasn't having a guy was telling him that he
had to pay some fees or something, right right, And
next thing you know, James doesn't excuse me. James Brown
kicked his ass.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
He knocked him out right, and the next thing you.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Know, people coming vit him. He was James God's body.
He was James Brown's body. Wow, he was.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
He was fierce.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah, imagine that. The guys try to move on you,
they thing, you know, he's your body? God? Right, did
you kick the ass?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
You watch people and the people like James Brown that
died hard and that did you pay attention to that?
Speaker 1 (38:46):
And like I didn't want to come hundred percent?
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Tell me about that, Michael, What did you see with people?
Speaker 1 (38:51):
I just realized people, I realized what I wanted to
be and what I did wouldn't be right. You know,
I loved the Amaya James Brown, but he lived the
hell of a life, a hard life, a real hard life,
you know, all balls to the walls is a hard life.
And he never had a he never had an easy day.
(39:12):
And it's like every ding was hard and he allowed that.
He that was his reason, his problem. He wanted to
live his life like that. I think he didn't have
what I had. He didn't have you.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I like you.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
They stay around and let him.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Know love him up.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, that's You're not God, neigga. Everybody loves you. He's
hard for people like that to accept love when at
the kick of the hill, how could you manage because
only love that counts as yours? When in that state,
nobody else is loved matter, Only that matters yours, which
you feel you.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Love, leave the planet screaming. If that's your mantra, Yes, right,
and we're knocking out that way. Brother.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I was looking forward to going out that way. But unfortunately,
but fortunately that didn't happen. But I was thinking I
was gonna go out of this world screaming.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
I know you were got pretty close a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I look at my life as something very special because
I survived it. I survived my own astricution by my
own hands. M hm, So I escaped that.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Would you say? The majority of time you're pretty abused
with yourself?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Yeah, I don't know. Listen, I haven't I don't know.
I haven't cheated on my life and my wife in
a few years, probably three years, two years, around three years.
That's a bit that. Listen. If I didn't cheat my
wife in a month, that's a miracle. A month I
was straight. A month, well, I'd be the animal that was.
(40:50):
Oh that's a that's a victory. Now I have a
couple of years after.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah, why is that so important to you, sir?
Speaker 1 (40:59):
I don't know. That's been my only really major issue
in life, and whatever other issues I had was the
cause of that. That was the cause of it. So
since I'm not that way anymore, I don't have those issues.
I don't have those issues and my wife. If I'm
having an argument with my wife is about time. Maybe
(41:22):
she's spending too much time here or here. That's the
only arguments I have pretty much.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
You know, your acting out was interesting to me because
a lot of it wasn't about the actual sexual act.
It was just you were desperate for love.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
That could have been it, really yeah, because that's what
sex addiction is. If they put there that, they normally
when they say I have a sex ediction class, they
they forget the love, sex and love. They forget the
love that the driving equates wasn't. They're not the same,
but they're very close. They appear to be the same
because of the feelings feeling pretty much the same, not.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
The same, and getting that love had from some strangers
sometimes it is the best ope in the world.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Wow, it's it's yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Talk about that, Michael.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
It was just it was just my whole gimming, always
having I would get off the plane, I would see
another students from someone that works in the airport that
escorts me, and she was squored and she would just
scored me right to the lady's bathroom and the men's bathroom,
have sex. But that's the plane, right, What do you
call those people that pick you up at the plane escorts? Right? Yeah, yes,
(42:36):
the plane. She grabbed me walk right into the bathroom.
Yeah yeah, not not a public in the office. Go
to the office and go into the private bathroom. Yeah right.
I never listened. I just said hi to them.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
And it's like I was playing for on methings. Didn't
walk right into the bathroom. It's like it's planned right,
Like it's like the say this is gonna happen today,
and you can't believe this. You just can't believe. You
get us a plane the escort, dear, I'm talking about
the plane that's going, not the escort prostitutory, and they
(43:11):
escort you straight to the office and then you go
into the bathroom office.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Well I had I think sometimes you forget you're one
of the most famous people in the world that people
want to do that with you. And also the reason
why they do that is because your energy says I'm available.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yes, oh I have I don't have that. I don't
have that that vibe anymore, No, that vibe.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
People don't do that when they don't do that. And
wife integrity, you make her feel safe.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
It's the energy, you know. But it comes down to
you want to make your family safe. It's not about
it's the right thing to do, because you want to
do it right. And that became my whole, my whole
basically basically, it's okay at home, and the kids are
good and just all the kids, not just my kids
(44:03):
that have well, all the kids. We're all friends. We
are working becoming better friends.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah, I know you are, buddy, and it's I think
to one of the things you've gotten is just like
I still want drama. No, I still want. I got
ship to do.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
I don't want Drama's gonna always be there. I don't
want it, but dramas gonna always be there. I guess
what it is. It's just the energy that people have
with you to bring the drama. I had the energy
all that sex stuff and me and not thinking me
and I'm thinking I'm a lover. But it's not love.
It is the energy you have, the energy, somebody's gonna
(44:36):
pick it up, you know, because somebody else there had
the same energy, right, And I learned a lot about energy.
I learned a lot about it.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Let's yeah, talk about energy and how you change your
energy and the energy you put out energy.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Whatever energy you put out there is you're an encounter, right,
no matter what it is, you're gonna encount it. So
always think about throwing them. There's humble energy out there,
you know what I me ammonal and energy out there,
and it's one just one to respect. The love that
I get.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Feels good, right, Yeah, that's all I would feels good.
Are you going back to training today?
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I'm gonna go back to training on Monday.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
And you're loving training?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Right? Hey? Getting it's getting there. Man, it's breaking my
body there, but I got to build back up. I'm
doing good though.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
You feel strong though, yes, yeah, powerful.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yes, right, I'm getting better. I'm feeling stronger here, right,
That's where it starts to click when it's stronger here.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah, yeah, How does that happen? Michael? How does that happen?
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Repetition? Repetition? It's like we have repetition that's not drinking,
repetition of having a parttive attitude, repetition of just respecting
your peers has to be repetition. Everything is repetition, fighters, repetition.
Prepare for this job is repetition, everything repetition. You just
can't do it one time and be the best over
and over and over and again. Discipline is doing what
(45:59):
you hate to do, but do it not like you
love it.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Amen, right on, right?
Speaker 1 (46:03):
How did you come up with that? That's because that's
my mentor is saying, because they.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Right, Yeah, because you you're Once you get on track,
you don't move off it. Whatever it is you do.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
You know.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
The toughest place to do that is actually learning how
to forgive yourself and love yourself.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Though I'm working on that. It's becoming a lot better.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
I know who you are, fuddy, Yeah, I know who
you are. That's the ultimate fight.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
You know, no one would know what it feels like
to ask for a men's and not get it. And
you have to. You have to go to the experience
and go to the program. Because the program is working,
everything's working, so you think they this is the miracle
of the program. Then you ask for the man. Man,
everybody's giving you a minute. Yes, I forgive you. And
(46:47):
then you ask another person and they don't forgive.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Me, right, and then but our job is if someone
says they don't take it, our jobs to respect that.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
They say, don't push it.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
You know you don't go well, no, you respect and
you move on.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yes, but leave it. Leave it leaves a taste in
your mouth.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Listen, a lot of people in your life, Michael, have
stolen from you, misrepresented and betrayed you, all kinds of
bullshit since you were fucking the kid. How have you
forgiven people? How do you forgive? Why is forgiveness so important?
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Forgiveness is that's self that's self healing. Really, forgiveness is
self healing, is not it's not out of healing. So
I do most of my best interests in anything.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Now you work really hard on not living in the
past and not letting people land on you. Proud of
you for that, buddy.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
That used to really too much going on in the
future for that.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Yeah, it used to brag to me about what a
bad person you was. And I said, I don't want
to hear that negative to self talk anymore. You don't
do that anymore. I said, just because you came up
that way doesn't mean that's who you are anymore.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
No, you're absolutely right, isn't that right? Brother? Absolutely right?
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Can we talk about Kiki for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
You wouldn't talk about.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Okay, can we just I just she's the glue. I'm
just I'm just glad you guys are together and you're
on a high frequency together.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Well, I don't know, she's the glue. We called our
daughter the glue. They called it the glue.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Why she's the glub?
Speaker 1 (48:22):
Because she is?
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's a superpower. There's something very right
about it.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
I don't know what we would have been without it.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, I understand that feelings that way from me.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
We didn't have what you and it never came to
the Utah festival.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Right, Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
She probably would have wung that was somebody else on
somebody else and left me in rehab. You know what
I mean, that's what that's normally how it goes exactly,
to go to rehab. My girlfriend's not my girlfriend anymore. Right,
I thought that was gonna basically happen with Kiki, But
I guess since we had the baby, that was that
(49:01):
was gonna be a fall fall. Long conclusion to me,
has hung out together. Yeah, and we made this stuff work.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
We made it work, and it's beautiful. It's working out.
It's working out really good. She got your back.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I wish my friends were still alive because they thought
when I married her it was disastrous.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
What would you tell him now, huh, what would you
tell some of your friends that that was a disaster?
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I said, I said, why don't you get married? I'm
getting married and said, if you're married for two years.
My friends said, if you're married for two years, I'll
get married, and like a year and a half, he died, right, Yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
One, no one thought you were gonna stay alive, let
alone stay married.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Yeah. Really, it was just my friend kept saying, Mike man,
I wish you stopped using this cocaine. But if you don't,
don't worry. I'm gonna have a fucking hell of a
funeral for you. Man, We will have a hell of
a funeral. Don't just know when you're dying, you're gonna
have a hell of a funeral, right, remember that? Right?
He's always telling me that you're proud.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
And there's a part of you that doesn't want to
diet junkie. No, you've seen too many people like that.
It's a fucking horrible way to go out. There's no
dignity in it. Man, It's funky. Man.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
I always wondered why was I Why was I meant
to see all this paid, you know, from drugs and liquor. Fuck,
I had no idea what it could do to you.
Mm hm, no idea.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
You know what, buddy, I don't know. We all have purpose,
we're all here to do something. But I think you're
a healer at the end of the day. Yeah, I
believe that, Michael, because you what you went through and
what you've done, and you're and and you're there's so
much love in you. You're a healer. You help people
not give up.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Well, I like to think that. No, it's powerful. That's
what I meant. Did to me.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Yeah, right, and you're passing it on, you're honoring it though.
People look up to you. You know, there's like Jesus Christ,
MI can do it. I mean, fuck, you really inspire people.
I know that is important to you.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Well, life is just a test, yeah, and without a
test is no testimony.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Ye, you've been tested quite a few times though.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Man. Well I put my sh I put myself in
the and the focus of those tests. I put myself
out there to be tested. Not intentionally, mm hm, it
just happened.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
I think another reason why you and I got along
so well, Like you know, you would be on one
and I would find out when you're coming off the
plane and I'd reach at the airport and and you
give me that look. I said, you're ready. No, I said,
call me when you're ready. I love you, and you
go yeah. But it I could see it bothered you
when I would be at the airport and you were
(51:37):
getting ready to fucking go do your thing. But I
never forced you because I just it doesn't work then,
and I knew that wouldn't worked with you. You're you're
ready when you're ready, right, Michael, isn't that right?
Speaker 1 (51:48):
It has to be because I would never you could
pay me to go back there, get right, didn't paid me,
and I part ten times worse than that can remember
it to be, but I remember it was bad.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
I think one of the things that no one knows,
like when all your friends really cut you off pretty much, well,
you have nobody but yourself and you're out there, and
that's what drugs in alcohol do by yourself, and it
tells you you have to be by yourself, don't be
around anybody, right.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Yeah, that's a different level of solitary confinement. That's real madness.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Yeah yeah. And as you and the drugs, it's got
you where it was you by yourself, no one can
give you any kind of advice.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Right.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
That's how I'm always with people that I'm never alone. Yeah, alone,
because the the the disease want you to be alone.
Love you part of one.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Mike Tyson feeling sorry for himself. Get more coke over here, mother.
Speaker 1 (52:55):
Give them nasty bitch you go, yeah, give you of
an area these.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
Well, you know, you're in that kind of great place
when people get in recovery where you just can't imagine
ever going back. You know, it's just not it's just
too good, right, I can't.
Speaker 1 (53:13):
Remember certain relationship and arguments I have my wife. I'll
go right back to drugs. You can't pay me to
go back, go back. It's just that's side of my life, right.
I might get in some street fights and go to
jail for that before I ever get in trouble for drugs.
Speaker 2 (53:28):
Yeah, that's powerful. Yeah, that's super powerful.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Well, you have to go through well, you know, you
have to go through what we went through to say that,
because you see how hard the people to give it up, Right,
you have to go through that. You have to walk
through the that plank of fire. If you walk through that,
you don't want to see that. You don't want to
do that no more.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
M hmm. Everybody knows. Of course, Cuss being a great inspiration.
Who else has been great inspirations.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
To listen the people in the program and stuff that's
great before saving my life people in the program, because
that's their job to save lives. Even though they fail
a great deal, but it's their job and they know
how to do their job. It's just that the players
that they're playing with and not going with the program.
(54:16):
You know, the only reason you can win it in
this program if you go with the program. That's right,
you have to stay with the program. You know, antler nature.
So that's what any kind of trouble like ya was
explaining that someone. Yes, they've interviewing me. I said, whenever
I get any trouble anything, I go right to the program.
I used to know. This is good for me? Is it?
It works for me?
Speaker 2 (54:37):
It balances you out, You just forget about life little yea.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Certain people that I know it doesn't help, but it
helps me. It helps me telling those people.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Yeah, yeah, you now still go to meetings. Meetings work
for us. They're powerful, right. You hear something, Yes, you
hear something something, Something might save your life that day.
Speaker 1 (54:54):
That's what this is what really makes the program successful.
I think the meetings, right, that's what makes it very successful.
That's what people succeed in this program is because of
the meeting.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah, now you you were all on us we talked
about earlier. What do you want to tell people about?
Anything else you want to share about?
Speaker 1 (55:15):
It is that I think I was pulling this world
to make a difference, right. I think I was because
things that I do people make big things a little
closer stuff, I say, people make them. You know, I
don't know, but I think I was here for a
readon to help people, not to do nothing bad, not
(55:35):
to make a lot of money, to be rich and glorified,
but just that might come with it, But that's not it.
Speaker 2 (55:42):
Money's never moved you. I know that about it. I've
always loved that about you. You want at the end
of the day. You want a sense of peace.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
My mentors like that. He wasn't money inclined. We didn't
think about money. We thought money is a force of security.
You know you have money, you don't think you could
you know you can die. And I was watching television
and I was watching or Deal when everybody invaded Puffy's
house and no one was there hit their children were there,
(56:11):
And I realized that I don't care how much money
you have. You can't protect anybody from hurting your children,
and people that you love, you can't protect them hurting themselves.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
All that was going through your head when you watched
that footage.
Speaker 1 (56:24):
When they had his children. Yeah, I said, all the
money in the.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
World, can you understand that kind of pain?
Speaker 1 (56:30):
Right? You get it can't help them. Listen, if someone
I had problems, somebody got excitedly shot your son, all
the money in the world can't savor them. Right.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
Yeah, you've known some of the most wealthiest people, you know. I.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
Oh, they've been there, and they're in this room. They're
in the rooms too, trying to get the help. They're
trying to get the help to realize they realized that
this is not all This money is not what it's
made up to be.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
You know.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
I had realized when I was younger, in my forties
that if you never if you if you never had
a lot of money before, right, if you never had
a lot of money, you never know what it's like,
right you just it's not what you think. It's not like, Wow,
my life is gonna be totally happy. I'm never gonna
(57:18):
have any problems. Fortune. If you if you think a
lot of money is gonna make you happy, you never
had a lot of money before, never had a lot
of money, Unfortunately, I don't know. Unfortunately, I see, I
unfortunately had a tremendous amount of money one time, and
(57:38):
I was never happy. I was never happy.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
It's nice to have you got some financial security now.
Speaker 1 (57:45):
Though, right, Well, that's cool too for my kids and
stuff and my wife. But even having security for them,
when are they gonna secure themselves? Right?
Speaker 2 (57:54):
Yeah, you know what I mean, let's talk about that.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
Yeah, when of what? What is it my job to
secure you? Or the teacher how to secure yourself?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Teaches right, that's right, that's right. Teach him out of fish.
I tied down how to fish. He's pulling some big fish.
Speaker 1 (58:11):
I teach him how to feilsh right?
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (58:15):
And sometimes I'm just very happy. I have a good
family base, We have good understanding with a.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
Lot of love. We talked about a lot of love
going on, and it's important to you. It's good. It's
important for you to write the ship with everybody.
Speaker 1 (58:28):
Right. My science one, people under think you don't have
to be somebody. If you know you're not, it doesn't
necessarily mean it's somebody. Because a lot of people know
you and you're celebrity. That have to make somebody that
just give you, that should give you the attention of people.
That don't mean you're a good person a bad person.
You have to establish who you want to be in life.
(58:50):
You know you can't establish and high being. The joke
given my basis of life.
Speaker 2 (58:54):
Let's just keep the love going, Michael, Let's just keep
the love going.
Speaker 1 (58:58):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
Let's keep the hilling going. Let's keep the forgiveness going.
Speaker 1 (59:02):
Yeah, forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (59:03):
Let's keep giving, right, Let's just keep just keep pushing forgiveness.
It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is the level, matters
of the truth. What matters is right. Yeah, we're doing
the right thing. Yeah, I know you feel like right off.
The Sino Show is the production of iHeart Podcasts, posted
by me Cina McFarlane, produced by pod People in twenty eighth.
(59:27):
Av Our lead producer is Keith Carlik. Our executive producer
is Lindsey Hoffman. Marketing lead is Ashley Weaver. Thank you
so much for listening. We'll see you next week.
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