March 12, 2025 • 47 mins
In this emotionally charged (but mostly hilarious) episode, Maya bravely sits down with the woman who gave her life to crack the mother-daughter code and emerge as besties.
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What who is that?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Wait? Mom, Hi, can I just say real quick, this
place looks kind of drap. It definitely needs more glitter.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Oh okay, yeah, but mommy can't just barge in here.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm moving in, I'm here, screwed over. Here we go,
let's do this.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Get in here here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya, and welcome to
the Super Secret bestI Cloud Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things. Yeah,
like secrets that are super that's when it is.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Get in here to another episode of the Super Secret
bestI Club Podcast. As you can see, I have my
mother here. Oh man, what a journey, What a journey
it's been so far in these eighteen minutes. It's okay,
it's okay, I listen. I'm she is the queen of
all technology, of all social media, of everything innovative, so
(01:12):
you know, I'm I'm looking to her for the next
what's the next advancements here? But we had some technical difficulties.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Before a little bit.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
But we're here, We're here're here. So Curly is out
of town. That's why we have a special guest.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
My Mommy, Mommy, Hi, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Of course, how is your spirit? That's the question we
always ask our guests and ask ourselves before we get
into the topic. Well, in my own little personal glittery
bubble here, it's fire, it's perfect, it's sparkly. So within
my little bubble here, if my spirit is beautiful, okay, good.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
My spirit is.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I just caught up on some sleep, but I had
the most bizarre dream that has nothing to do with
what we're gonna talk about today, but I have to
get it out. I was like, somehow was able to
buy this mansion. And then the person who sold the
mansion to me was like, Oh, we're gonna have a
big party, and Dwayne the Rock Johnson was there, and
(02:24):
I was like, I was trying to FaceTime you, mom,
because my mom loves Dwayne. But here's the thing is
she my mom used to interview. She used to be
an entertainment reporter. She used to interview any celebrity that
you can think of.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
J Lou during the two thousands.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
During the two thousands, all the A Lister girlies and
she interviewed Duayne the Rock Johnson and he kissed her
on the cheek.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was before he became like the big movie star. Yeah,
so he was trying to win over the and he
did a really good job by kissing you on the cheek?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Were you just digging? And then what did Daddy say?
What did my dad say? After when you got well?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I walked out of there and I was like kind
of shaking, like did that just happen? And when I
got back to my desk, I called and I told
Daddy I go You'll never believe it happened. The interview
went so good, and at the end I went to
shake his hand and he came in for a hug
and he just gave me a little peck. And then
(03:31):
at the end of our conversation, Daddy goes, well, when
you come home, I'll have dinner ready, and he goes,
I know, I'm just the pebble and not the rock,
And I was like, oh, Daddy's always my rock though,
but still that is life core memory activated. Yes, but
the rock.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Was mean to me in my dream, so yeah, it
doesn't make sense anyway, but I was trying to FaceTime
you in my dream, so to Yeah, today we're gonna
get a little deep in hopes that anyone listening can heal.
But we're also gonna keep it light. We're gonna be
talking about generational expectations as a mother, as a daughter,
(04:14):
and how we get to kind of like rewrite those
narratives as a family. And you know, you can speak
to this too, mom, like just as a trigger warning.
We're gonna go deep, but keep it light, like lack
of having a you mentioned lack of having a bestie
relationship with your own mom, but building that with me.
So we're gonna kind of talk about that. And then
(04:35):
because the thing is is like I want to remind
us that our moms are just girls, Like our moms
are human beings. Like I am now thirty two. I
remember when my mom was thirty two and thinking and
she had her shit together. She was like an adult. No,
you were an adult with kids with a husband or
(04:56):
that to you, right, right, But like and now i
I'm about to be thirty two, and I'm like whoa,
Like it's just so weird when you're able to kind
of put yourself in the shoes in some way of
your parents and humanize them, you know, So, yeah, what
do you think about that you mentioned, like lack of
(05:16):
having a bestie relationship with your mom, but building that
with me, Like, can you expand on your relationship?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh yes, your mom's really long journey for me to
have this narrative with my mom and seeing it from
a higher perspective. And it's funny you say how our
moms are just girlies, because it wasn't until after my
mom died that I found letters that she wrote to
(05:44):
my dad when she was like twenty one or twenty two,
and it was girly energy and I got to that's her, Maile.
I understand her, yes, like just so sweet and naive
and vulnerable. But growing up, you know, she came from
the tradition of how you raise your kids is dependent
(06:07):
on how they look and how it looks for the family,
and there were just these like kind of rules of
like what makes the perfect family and the perfect kid,
and especially for girls, and for me, it was always
looking the best I could look and dating people who,
(06:29):
you know, that generation or her family whatever thought would
be the right person, that everything just to make the
family look good. And I could never vibe with that.
Like ever since I was a little kid, I was
always the hypercreative, a little different, and I could literally
see the strain or frustration in my mom as a child,
(06:52):
as a preteen, as a teenager, and I couldn't quite
pinpoint it then, but it was because I was not
following the rule and it made us have this friction
and what were the rules? Like what the rules were
to be dainty, to be clean and neat, to like
soft pink over bright red and green together. And you know,
(07:18):
again I total props to my mom, like this is
in the seventies, you know, I'm gen X here. And
she painted my whole room a soft baby pink and
put these felt balloons and I was like, oh no,
like I don't like that color, and she's like, but
it's a girl's room. And my brother's room was blue.
So it was just, you know, I was like, okay,
(07:41):
I'll just go with it. And it just started this
pattern where I eventually would say, I'm not going to
go with it anymore. I'm going to do what I
want to do. And that really freaked her out a lot.
And what happens is when something freaks us out that
we don't understand that is so different from ourselves, our
(08:01):
first reaction is to hate it and to make the
other person feel bad about being that way, and that's
what happened. So I just always grew up feeling like
I didn't quite meet the potential that she wanted for me,
and that made me overachieve in every other way to
(08:21):
try to win her acceptance. And it's so funny. It's
because it's that era and her parents and her you
know it all she was following those traditions and it
wasn't until after she passed away that you know, it's
a whole other story. But I actually had like a
full circle moment with all of it. And I mean,
(08:43):
I know she loved me deeply, she just had we
had trouble connecting and with our daughters. Is that I
realized after I went to therapy, like thanks to you
and D'Angelo he's telling us, like, go to therapy after
my mom died, was that I had spent so much
(09:04):
time worrying about my relationship with my mom and feeling
like I disappointed her, and that it took away time
from building those relationships with my kids. And once I
realized that I was able to say, you know what,
I'm letting go of this with my mom and I'm
gonna focus on building relationships with my kid.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
And that's the thing and is like you obviously you're
you're just a girl, like you're you're her daughter, so
like of course you're gonna want to look yes, yes,
and so like I think just when when people become parents,
(09:47):
it doesn't automatically mean they get all of the tools
necessary because like you obviously a plus a plus plus
plus and loving us, you know, like you definitely turned
the turned a new leaf with that. But and then
there's that thing that I heard where so I was
in my grandma's body too, so like you know, because
(10:11):
I was an egg in your body and you were
an egg in her body. So everything gets all that trauma,
all that stuff gets passed down. So I think, you know,
when when you were going through that therapy and when
I was thinking about like you know, my grandma dying
(10:32):
and everything, and it's it's kind of like you get
to have a new relationship with her now as as
she's like an angel. Now if everyone, if anyone believes
in angels and stuff, we're totally ancestors, angels, spirit guys,
all of it. Girl, We're very like disneyesque, like imaginative,
(10:54):
spiritual hardcore spiritual family where we know that they are
here by our And do you feel like your relationship
with like I want you to speak on that experience
you had that full circle moment because I feel like
a lot of people have difficult relationships with their mom,
especially like Mother's Day and stuff that it's like will
(11:16):
they find any relief?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I did, Like I went through so many years of
Mother's Day was so triggering to me because I spent
all my time worrying about my mom instead of worrying
about me as a mother and the things that my
kids are doing for me. And so you know, I
(11:38):
had the last few years of my mom being a life.
We did, we had our conversations, we spent time together,
but there was still that underlying thickness that we never resolved.
And I had my birth chart read once it said
we were Eventually if she had lived, we would have
resolved it. But you know, life happens, so that gives
(12:00):
me some comfort, but yeah, it was. What happened was
she passed away in twenty twenty one. And for my
birthday this last year, I've always had a special thing
on my birthday with her. This one time she was
in an induced coma, like just coming out of it,
and I said, oh, it's my birthday today. I turned
(12:22):
twenty one. And she literally like got her finger and
drew on my stomach twenty six like the age that
I was. Like, even though she was in this semi
induced coma, she still knew it was my birthday and
how old I was. But on my birthday this year,
my mother in law showed up and she said, I
had a dream that your mom came in my dream,
(12:45):
and it's your birthday, so I thought I would come
to your event. And there was a lady at this
event who was just the exact opposite of my mom,
Like she was all dressed up in glamorous makeup and
updue hair, and she was so chatty, and she it
off with my mother in law. She even put her
number in her phone. And then we're at dinner later
(13:05):
that night and we're joking about it and we looked
at the name and it was my mom's name like this,
and it was an uncommon name, so.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
This well it was. It was me and my nanny,
my mom's mother in law. We were looking This lady
was just so she would ask so many questions, like
during your kind you kind of had like a Q
and a thing. And she was just like her hair
was so beautiful. She drove all the way out here.
She was engaged. She was like a higher It fell
(13:37):
like your seventies. It felt like it would have been
the higher self of Grandma. And so I was like,
who is this lady?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
And then but at the time we didn't make the
connection at all, and it was.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I was talking to Nanni and she came up and
she goes, take a picture of us? Can you take
a picture of us? And she goes send it to me.
She goes, put, I think I still have her number
on my phone. She's like, send it to me, and
then she like got Naughty's number, and then I looked,
I go, oh, what's your name? And she said her
name was Norma. I think I think it was even
Norma Jean, which is my grandma's name. But didn't we
(14:12):
find out earlier that Norma Jean is not her real
it's her American name that not Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Her Spanish name. I forgot. It was like like a
longer version of Norma. Yeah. It was like yeah, it
was like a big long Mexican name. And then they
shortened it to Norma Jean, because I always wondered, how
why did they call her Norman Jene?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Classic appropriation or not app appropriation?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
What is it called assimilation?
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Assimilation?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, But then what was crazy was that when I
saw her name was Norma Jean. And my mom was
very conservative, very quiet, don't stand out, just you know,
kind of be invisible, don't rock the boat. This lady
was the opposite. And so when I saw her name
was Norma Jean, I immediately felt like that was my
(15:01):
mom spirit energy from a higher perspective of just loving
life and being there to be with me on my birthday.
(15:25):
But the real thing that really really made it special
was on our way out, I played the Penny Machines
in honor of my mom because that was her favorite.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
So we went after we went to the casino and
like had this like big cute dinner, and then you
were just like, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, we went into the We left the dinner and
went into the casino and you're.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Like, I guess, oh yeah, let me let me try something.
So she's sitting there, my dad and I are like
walking around. We're like, oh right, it's not really our style,
you know. And then I hear, I'm like, what it was?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
My mom? First thing, I put in the first run
whatever you call it, and I hit the jackpot and
as it was, it was the bulls running, remember, and
then it would go again and it won another jackpot
and another jackpot, and remember, Mia was like, what did
you do? What did you was like, I won the jackpot.
(16:23):
Then Patrick Daddy, he was like, I got gold. My
woman just hit the jackpot. But I took that totally
as a sign from my mom that I won. It
was like one hundred and thirty six dollars in pennies,
but it brought me so much healing, and I knew
that I wasn't crazy. I really do have antenna's into
(16:46):
like you know, beyond what we see and hear here.
And I have a friend who is an angel reader
and I had not seen her in years, and I
went to her and we had a beautiful reading. So
I guess to wrap up that story is that even
if you have a difficult relationship with your mom in
(17:07):
this life, this is not the end all be all
of our journeys together, Like we all are on the
same timeline, just different different stops. And my mom is
like way ahead and where she is, she was able
to come back and give me. She knew that she
needed to give me some reassurance here of some truly
(17:30):
feeling of unconditional love that maybe she wasn't equipped with
the emotional tools to have when she was raising me
as a mom. So have hope. And Yeah. The beautiful
thing though, is like having a daughter now and like
I don't cry at mother daughter movies anymore because I realize, like, hello,
the relationship I always craved with my mom I have
(17:54):
now with my daughter. I've changed that pattern. And when
you have and you carry it on, you will continue
to change the pattern.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, well, what do you say to like you know,
you said to have hope? What do you say to
people with difficult mothers or really strict mothers? Like how
how in retrospect, like how would you what would you
have told yourself during that time?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah? I have gone back to tell but yes, well
number one is self care, to be kind to yourself.
There's nothing wrong with you. It's just a difference of perspectives.
And it's going back to looking deep into your mom
of what was her upbringing? What? Because there's also that
(18:44):
thing that I believe in that we are a version
of our parents' inner child. And so I know for
a fact that my mom, when she was younger, she
wanted to travel, she wanted to dress up every day
and do all of these amazing things. But she got
married and settled down, had a family, and that.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Was the thing to do then. Like that, Yes, the norm.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
The wild and I'm like that wild hair daughter, like
like water for chocolate. I feel like the middle daughter
who ran off naked on the horse with the cowboy,
you know, and you did like I just had this
wild hair in me, and my mom didn't know what
to do with me.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
She didn't know how to handle it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And so I would go back and say, you know
what once, if I had known then like, okay, this
is something that you know, she's hurting in some way,
like I'm triggering something in her. Maybe she needs some healing,
maybe we can. I could have approached it in a
different way instead of why can't you just like me?
(19:52):
I know you love me, but you don't like me,
you know that kind of thing, rather saying you know, mom,
what is it about me that makes you emotional? Like
let's talk about this. I didn't know to do that then,
my first reaction was just to cry and go into
victim mode. And so my advice would be really to
(20:12):
keep a higher perspective and have that self love for
yourself and do your best to try to understand where
things are coming from with her, and you know, it's
sometimes if you don't get along, it's okay. Like I
had reached a point to where it had becomes so
hurtful for me that I just had to like focus
(20:35):
on my family, but I didn't disconnect from her totally.
I just kept it very loving and light. You know.
I just didn't go into deep things because I didn't
want to upset her because she was getting older. So yeah,
it is very complicated, but I say there's hope because
(20:57):
you know, even though I'm not saying, oh wait till
after she passes on and things will get better, it's
just knowing that the journey continues, and if you believe
in the Hulu like I do, we are woo signs.
There are signs that you can take that. Maybe it
brought me so much comfort because I really felt like
(21:17):
it was her higher self connecting with me and it
healed all of my wounds. It's so hard to explain
but I don't feel any of that hurt or pain anymore.
Since I had that experience.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
You were able to go to therapy and figure out
what the crux of your UH triggers were and what
the exact like pinpoint what the exact issue was. Because
the thing is that I'm still learning every day is like, yes,
(21:52):
people can make you upset or sad or whatever, but
you're the one who has to fix it, like within yourself,
Like there's no amount of sorrow or even when I
have gotten the best apology, it still doesn't matter. I
mean it matters obviously, accountability, yes, but there's nothing like
really working on your reactions and how you are putting
(22:14):
your body through so much stress by letting them make
you feel a certain type of way. So I feel
like there was a moment there where you were like
you caught it, you know, like, yeah, you caught that
and you were able to practice that. And also I
think inner child healing is the best way to heal
(22:38):
because like when you said before, you would you know,
cry and to go into victim mode, it's not victim mode.
You're going you're literally reverting back as a child, you know,
like your parents When I go back home, I have
to like work on not turning into an angsty sixteen
year old.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yes, you know, with like you know, like when else
interesting is that the roles of mothers and daughters they
also shift because you're very mature, Like you grew up
very mature, and I feel like you have this wise
energy from our ancestors, and sometimes it is more mature
(23:20):
than me as a grown adult when you were a kid.
And I think what happened, like coming from that experience
with my mom where I had to kind of feel
ashamed of the kind of person that I was and
things that I liked, which now I've built a whole
career off of it. But being a mom growing up
and having this life, I was like, I'm not holding
(23:43):
back on anything. I'm going to be who I am.
And my kids like maybe they weren't into that. And
there's like some instances where you know, it's like I
don't want to do that. Just because you like to
do it, that's good for you, but I don't want
to do that. And there's times when you've had to
step up and take a mother role and and you
(24:06):
know it's it's we always take turns in things, so well,
it's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yes, And like as a daughter, and I'm sure a
lot of people also can relate to like seeing your
mom being mistreated or cry all the time from any person,
but especially seeing their mom, you know, like seeing that
from their mom, your grandmother. Like for me, I don't
(24:31):
know about you guys, but like, my mom's my homegirl,
like she's she's my dog. That's my dog right there,
you know, my day one homegirl. Yeah, or you know,
like I always joke, I'm like I that was my
apartment you know for nine months, like I we shared.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
We shared a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Of things together, you know, like, yeah, that is my homegirl.
And when I see somebody, you know, I'm super loyal
to her. So growing up me seeing that, I also
knew that I needed to step up in some way
to be better to you because of your mom, you know,
(25:18):
like and.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
And that's my sister. Was the same way with my grandmother.
That's a cycle protector.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yes, grandma had also experienced that with her mom, and
my aunt Teresa was it was like me and felt
the same way. So this is a cycle. So though
I guess it's like I guess, well we broke the cycle, right,
And I don't know if if I have like a
girl or a boy or kids in general, like who
knows what that's gonna be like, but it like these
(25:50):
are the things with these relationships, is that we have
to see where the cycle started and how we can
what we It's not I don't want to say like
it's our life's purpose to break those cycles, but we
are by by existing and by following our our true
path and and you know, but it's good to see like, Okay,
(26:13):
clocked it clocked you girl, like this this cycle is over.
I wanted to ask, what do you because my mom,
you guys, she's been on the podcast before. She's Kathy
the crafty Chica. I should have gave her the full
intro before mafe all rerecorded. But so thank you Katina. Also, Hi, kbot,
(26:38):
how are you? K bot? Kbot? You're a robot? Do
you have a mom? Kbot has a mom? Cool? Love it?
So my mom is an entrepreneur, she's a crafter, an artist,
an author, I mean yeah, author, writer, she's all. She's
(27:02):
multi passionate, right, and I grew up watching her do
all those things, which has I always say, I'm a
NEPO baby of creativity because somebody called me a nepple
baby in my life the other day because of how
cool my parents are, and I'm like, I'll take it.
I'll full on take it, because yeah, we were very
(27:23):
privileged to have two parents who like, look at my
mom's background if you're watching on YouTube and look at
my background, my all of my background, all this are
is my mom's art. Like, this's cool. You know, That's
what I grew up with. So like, and you're still
doing it to this day. And so I watched you
hustle and work while having a family, a husband, kids,
(27:48):
work all that stuff. What do you say to when
people say to women like they can't have it all
or do it all, they can't have a you know,
a relationship, kids, and your career, like you have to
give up one Like what do you say to that?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Well, I think that it is possible to do it all,
have it all, but at different different points. You can't
have all of it at each one being at one
hundred percent. If you have one thing at seventy five percent,
(28:27):
the other stuff has to share the twenty five percent.
So it's really finding the balance and looking at your
life of like, Okay, my kids and family should be
seventy five percent or sixty percent, and then the rest
can be you know, or fifty percent. Whatever. Your percentage is.
(28:49):
Not that you have to put it literal percentage, but
in a big picture you kind of got to look
at it that way that they can't all be at
one hundred percent. Something's going to be sacrificed. And you know,
mine was a case where we're Daddy and I were
too working artists. So if we had a big event
(29:09):
coming up at the end of the week, we were
like all hands on deck. We have to make merchandise
to sell that we know people are gonna want.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
So we're going to teach dinner, Like what can you
explain really fast, like what the merchandise was?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Oh yeah, so say like at the Herd Museum Spanish market,
people would come in. As much as you had to
put on your table they would buy. So it was
a chance to make thousands of dollars in two days.
So we would make like dozens of framed prints, dozens
of magnets, dozens of dozens of.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
On their own styles and yes.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Getting into substrates, painting them, varnishing them, putting them to dry, tagging,
them loading them like it was a lot of work,
so that took away from family time of like, hey,
let's just go to the park on Wednesday. Well, we
can't this Wednesday because we're in the flow of we
have to make this.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Ended up being family time regardless.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, it ended up ended up being family time. But
it was a balance because it was work. It wasn't
like a hobby. It was how we paid our bills.
(30:39):
But it was also good that we were able to
have the kids with us to do that, even though
sometimes it could be but we would have to.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
But but my brother and I both look back and
were like, how amazing with was that to experience firsthand
what hard work looks like. Yeah, following your passions and
your dreams like that, that is such a huge foundation
for my brother and I that like we have this
(31:16):
sense of like we can do anything that our heart
desires because we saw our parents do it. Our parents
are still doing it.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Yeah, And it's just to like all the moms out there,
include your kids and what you're working on. Explain to
them what you're doing and how it will impact your
family and why you're doing that, ask them for input.
When I was writing my novels. I would sit the
kids on the couch and I would read it to
them or my newspaper articles, and if I got a
(31:43):
giggle out of them, I'm like, oh, this is good.
This is good. So just incorporate your kids into your lifestyle.
And a lot of times we get and think like, no,
i'm working, stay away. Find a way to say, come here,
let me show you what I'm doing. You know, what
do you think of this? And it will I feel
like it could make them feel more included in what
(32:04):
you're doing. So you feel like you're not spending time
with them.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
And your kid will probably turn into a micromanager and
be able to manage a lot of different things. So
I want to also talk about agism in the entertainment
industry and just life in general, because I feel like
we've all heard that there's a time limit or you know,
(32:32):
just literally biologically they tell us that our body clock
is ticking. But then like, you know, there's a certain
age where you feel like in the entertainment industry, whether
you're in you know, social media or TV and film,
once you get to like past thirties or in your forties,
I mean, now it's changing a lot, But like, what
(32:53):
has been your process through you know, still being on camera,
because I've seen you like the way you talk about
yourself sometimes and it's gotten a lot better. But that's
the thing with my mom's that I had to be like,
you're talking to me when I get your age, when
you talk about yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean it's not
just in the entertainment industry, it's everywhere. And I think
the best thing is to always keep learning. And there's
that show Hacks on Max that is so good. It's
this gen Z girl and then the boomer comedian and
(33:38):
it's just so insightful and meaningful to see their conversations
and laugh about it. And she goes through a lot
of you know, the agism issues. But the thing is
is what are we going to do shut everything down
and go live under a rock. No, I'm We're here
to have a life experience, and that life experience includes
(34:02):
the whole spectrum of being younger, being older, and I
still want to do all the things I want to do.
Has the landscape changed definitely? Because opportunities change. I don't
ever want to say they decrease or go away. They
change and you have to adapt to those changes so
(34:25):
you can continue to thrive. And I never want to
be one of those people who just kind of sits
down in gripes about everything. I would rather enjoy my
life experience and keep it moving and keep trying new
things and read the room. Right now, I'm an influencer.
I've had my blog for twenty one, twenty two, twenty
(34:49):
three years, and my followers, like I do, have a
lot of younger followers, but the OG followers, they're like
the same age as me or maybe a little bit younger,
and they're gen xers, And I'm like, you know what,
I'm gonna embrace them and celebrate what are we doing
right now? What is our our crafty spy especially being
(35:10):
latinas there's a lot of women like me who grew
up the same way. And now we're at this stage
of life where we're empty nesters and we have extra income,
so we're gonna indulge and take an art class or
go on an art retreat and just you know, tap
into our creativity. So there's there's always new things to
(35:35):
find and do at every stage.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Do you feel like you've had to like, uh re
introduce yourself to yourself like I don't know, yes, because
my law is sixty. She looks so good, like you
know what I'm saying, like, and I feel like you
know at thirty two versus now, like what has been
(36:00):
the I don't know, biggest thing you've learned or the
biggest takeaway that you have applied to your sixties.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That nothing is ever completely over. It's never too late
to do something or start something, you know. One quick example,
one of the biggest accomplishments I've ever had in my
life that I'm really proud of is writing a novel,
my first novel.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
I have two novels, Waking Up on the Land of Glitter,
Waking Up in the Land of Glitter.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
You know, I did not like the cover at all.
I was so disappointed in it. It's a cute cover,
but it just wasn't what I imagine. And then it's
been fifteen, fifteen years since that novel came out and
it's still holds strong. I got the rights back from
my publisher. I'm going to republish it, and I made
(36:52):
a new cover for it. Fifteen years later, I'm re
releasing it as a fifteen year anniversary that Kathy in
twenty ten was crying tears, like I just thought that
was it. But now in this day and age, we
have the resources to do whatever we want to do.
And I'm like, I am getting the rights back and
(37:14):
I'm going to put the cover on that I always
wanted and I'm going to edit too many metaphors in
that books. I'm cleaning it up a little bit so
i can re release it. So nothing is ever done,
and you have time to do all of these amazing things.
Like I always say that I stopped having goals, and
(37:37):
now I have experiences that I want to have, like
going if you go to Disneyland, It's like, I want
to go to Tomorrowland while I'm here, and so you
make sure I want to have experiences. And one of
the experiences was to have a cover that I love
on the novel that I wrote. And can I just
say I love what you are doing and what Angelo's doing.
(38:00):
I'm so proud to see how they each sprouted off
in their own creative tree and are growing something and
it you know, that's the whole goal is to have
your family have every celebrate each family member's signature style
and support each other to give each other their turn
(38:24):
to shine.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Hey, I love you. Welcome to the astrology portion of
the podcast. We're gonna do a quick speed run because
there's a lot of information. I was gonna do kind
of a bit where I was gonna like match up
my mom's charts and my chart together, but I just
(38:48):
took a tiny little sliver, which makes a lot of sense.
So I'm gonna be looking at both of our north nodes.
So your north node is like your purpose, it's like
your destiny, it's your life path, it's your karma. So
my mom's north node is in Gemini in the fifth house.
(39:11):
Her life purpose involves learning to express herself, be curious,
and embrace lighthearted fun and creativity, which is crazy. The
fifth house placement suggests she might be meant to explore hobbies,
creative pursuits, or even work with children in some way.
(39:32):
Sence her south node. So you have your north node,
and then your south node is like a little more deeper,
is in Sagittarius in the eleventh house. She may naturally
feel comfortable in big picture thinking and group settings. Her
soul's lesson is to focus on more personal self expression
and curiosity in the present moment. So that's why I
(39:53):
love astrology because it's it is a tool for us
to remind us like this, this is her one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Also, my mom is a Sagittarius son, She's a Piscey's
moon and she's a rising Aquarius and she had my
dad is a Leo's son, a Gemini moon and a
rising Libra, so both fire signs and they had double
fire signed children. I'm a double Aries. My brother is
(40:24):
a double Leo and my brother has Leo's son Leo
Moon rising Aquarius. My mom's rising is Aquarius. So it
all kind of like and I have a Pisces rising,
so we have literally bits of you and my dad.
Like my dad his chart, you can see it in
(40:45):
I Think the Father. I forgot where the father is.
Basically in astrology, in your chart you can see where
your mother and father are at and what traits you've
gotten from them. So I'm focusing on like the mom part,
I definitely want my dad to come on the podcast
to you.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Know what I think is so it blows my mind,
is like are my grandson his amost are my dad's
ears and Maya's hands are my mom's hands, Like that's
where I get choked up because even though they are
not here, like they're here, like the DNA, it's carries
(41:23):
through all of us and it will continue to do that.
Like someday I hope that I have great grandkids and
they have my hands or they have my hair. Like
what we're doing now is just like this compared to
the long mark on the world that we're leaving in
generations past and present.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yes, like I said, woo woo woooot.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Put on.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Okay. And lastly, my north note is Insagittarius, which is
your sign in my ninth house, and it says is
my destiny involves seeking higher wisdom, truth and expanding my horizons.
Ironically a very Sagittarius mission, just like your mom's son
her son's sign love astrology. Basically, it says that we're
(42:16):
continuing the ASP I'm continuing the aspect of her life path,
but taking it to a different level. You're meant to explore, teach,
and learn about the world and ways she may have
dreamed of but didn't fully pursue. Like I feel like
we're you know, like with moms and stuff, like they
can only do so much in their generation what they're
allowed to do, and then it just carries on and
(42:38):
on and on. But that concludes the astrology portion.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Okay, that was awesome.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Thank you, Thank you so much, my momy for being
on the podcast. Do you have any last last words
of wisdom.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm just sending a lot of love and support to
any daughters out there who have difficult relationships with their mothers.
And I hope that somewhere in your life or in
your community, that there is someone who has mother energy
that you can connect with and get some comfort from
(43:16):
at the same time while you're working to heal your
wounds from your biological mom. So it's a big world
out there, and we're meant to receive love and give love.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah, And there's something like chosen family, Like there's yeah,
you've had to find your own chosen family too, you know.
I also want to know, maybe not it's not petty,
but my mom attracts a lot of people with mother issues,
like a lot a lot of mommy issues. And I'm
always like, okay, all right, I'm like, I guess it's
(43:48):
just like an orphanage for people who have mother issues
and my mom my mom, I think each other.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, find each other and we support and comfort has
the daughter.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
I'm like, that's my mother, that's my mom, Zobbie. I've
gotten let a lot. There's one tiny little story was
when my friend Alexis, remember, she started crying because like
you were being such a great mom. And I was like,
this is like grade school or grade school. It was
(44:23):
at like a like a sleepover in elementary school. Yeah,
And I was like, okay, all right, it's because my
mom is so she's so angelic and she's very and
I don't mean that as in like she's she's soft
and innocent and she's she's just very spiritual and she
(44:43):
knows who she is and she is who she is.
She's confident, and she has this very gentle way of
you know, making you feel also like you're seen and
heard and and celebrated and you know, and and that
(45:05):
smile on her face is that's how she is, you know,
all day long, except for when I make her mad
a little bit, and then it turns opposite, and then
I'm like, I wish people was to see this real
version of you.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Don't all moms have no because I yeah, I think
all moms have some of that, But my mom like
I carry her energy too. I'm proud that I had
my mommy. She she worked really hard, she had a
lot on her shoulders, Harry, and I know she loved me.
(45:42):
And yeah, so have grace for yourself, have grace for
your mom. We're all going through our stuff, so and
have grace for your daughter.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast. Mommy. How can they
find you on social media.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
At crafty Chica And I just want to give a
shout out to you, Maya. You're amazing, Like, thank you
for all you do and all you share. This girl
ever since she was like, you know, an early teenager,
she was making videos in her room and putting them
(46:26):
on YouTube before anyone was ever. She was working brand
deals at sixteen years old, putting putting markers on sneakers,
feeling and wheel. Shout out to you for for doing that.
That is it's just so wild to see you what
you evolved and growing and you're still doing all these
amazing things. So thank you. But yeah, you can find
(46:49):
me at Craftychica craftychica dot com. I have over to
twenty four hundred craft tutorials on Instagram and YouTube, k
fro TikTok YouTube, all of.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
It, and thank you so much again for listening to
another episode of The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. If
you have any suggestions on what we should talk about next,
hit us up and we miss you curly. You won't
be on the next episode, but you'll be on the
next few episodes. But do oh oh boy do we
(47:22):
have a plan for you? Okay, bye. Make sure to
hit that subscribe button to hear more episodes every single week.
The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast is a production of
Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
What who is that?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Wait? Mom, Hi, can I just say real quick, this
place looks kind of drap. It definitely needs more glitter.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Oh okay, yeah, but mommy can't just barge in here.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm moving in, I'm here, screwed over. Here we go,
let's do this.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Get in here here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya, and welcome to
the Super Secret bestI Cloud Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things. Yeah,
like secrets that are super that's when it is.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Get in here to another episode of the Super Secret
bestI Club Podcast. As you can see, I have my
mother here. Oh man, what a journey, What a journey
it's been so far in these eighteen minutes. It's okay,
it's okay, I listen. I'm she is the queen of
all technology, of all social media, of everything innovative, so
(01:12):
you know, I'm I'm looking to her for the next
what's the next advancements here? But we had some technical difficulties.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Before a little bit.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
But we're here, We're here're here. So Curly is out
of town. That's why we have a special guest.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
My Mommy, Mommy, Hi, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Of course, how is your spirit? That's the question we
always ask our guests and ask ourselves before we get
into the topic. Well, in my own little personal glittery
bubble here, it's fire, it's perfect, it's sparkly. So within
my little bubble here, if my spirit is beautiful, okay, good.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
My spirit is.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I just caught up on some sleep, but I had
the most bizarre dream that has nothing to do with
what we're gonna talk about today, but I have to
get it out. I was like, somehow was able to
buy this mansion. And then the person who sold the
mansion to me was like, Oh, we're gonna have a
big party, and Dwayne the Rock Johnson was there, and
(02:24):
I was like, I was trying to FaceTime you, mom,
because my mom loves Dwayne. But here's the thing is
she my mom used to interview. She used to be
an entertainment reporter. She used to interview any celebrity that
you can think of.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
J Lou during the two thousands.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
During the two thousands, all the A Lister girlies and
she interviewed Duayne the Rock Johnson and he kissed her
on the cheek.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was before he became like the big movie star. Yeah,
so he was trying to win over the and he
did a really good job by kissing you on the cheek?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Were you just digging? And then what did Daddy say?
What did my dad say? After when you got well?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I walked out of there and I was like kind
of shaking, like did that just happen? And when I
got back to my desk, I called and I told
Daddy I go You'll never believe it happened. The interview
went so good, and at the end I went to
shake his hand and he came in for a hug
and he just gave me a little peck. And then
(03:31):
at the end of our conversation, Daddy goes, well, when
you come home, I'll have dinner ready, and he goes,
I know, I'm just the pebble and not the rock,
And I was like, oh, Daddy's always my rock though,
but still that is life core memory activated. Yes, but
the rock.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Was mean to me in my dream, so yeah, it
doesn't make sense anyway, but I was trying to FaceTime
you in my dream, so to Yeah, today we're gonna
get a little deep in hopes that anyone listening can heal.
But we're also gonna keep it light. We're gonna be
talking about generational expectations as a mother, as a daughter,
(04:14):
and how we get to kind of like rewrite those
narratives as a family. And you know, you can speak
to this too, mom, like just as a trigger warning.
We're gonna go deep, but keep it light, like lack
of having a you mentioned lack of having a bestie
relationship with your own mom, but building that with me.
So we're gonna kind of talk about that. And then
(04:35):
because the thing is is like I want to remind
us that our moms are just girls, Like our moms
are human beings. Like I am now thirty two. I
remember when my mom was thirty two and thinking and
she had her shit together. She was like an adult. No,
you were an adult with kids with a husband or
(04:56):
that to you, right, right, But like and now i
I'm about to be thirty two, and I'm like whoa,
Like it's just so weird when you're able to kind
of put yourself in the shoes in some way of
your parents and humanize them, you know, So, yeah, what
do you think about that you mentioned, like lack of
(05:16):
having a bestie relationship with your mom, but building that
with me, Like, can you expand on your relationship?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh yes, your mom's really long journey for me to
have this narrative with my mom and seeing it from
a higher perspective. And it's funny you say how our
moms are just girlies, because it wasn't until after my
mom died that I found letters that she wrote to
(05:44):
my dad when she was like twenty one or twenty two,
and it was girly energy and I got to that's her, Maile.
I understand her, yes, like just so sweet and naive
and vulnerable. But growing up, you know, she came from
the tradition of how you raise your kids is dependent
(06:07):
on how they look and how it looks for the family,
and there were just these like kind of rules of
like what makes the perfect family and the perfect kid,
and especially for girls, and for me, it was always
looking the best I could look and dating people who,
(06:29):
you know, that generation or her family whatever thought would
be the right person, that everything just to make the
family look good. And I could never vibe with that.
Like ever since I was a little kid, I was
always the hypercreative, a little different, and I could literally
see the strain or frustration in my mom as a child,
(06:52):
as a preteen, as a teenager, and I couldn't quite
pinpoint it then, but it was because I was not
following the rule and it made us have this friction
and what were the rules? Like what the rules were
to be dainty, to be clean and neat, to like
soft pink over bright red and green together. And you know,
(07:18):
again I total props to my mom, like this is
in the seventies, you know, I'm gen X here. And
she painted my whole room a soft baby pink and
put these felt balloons and I was like, oh no,
like I don't like that color, and she's like, but
it's a girl's room. And my brother's room was blue.
So it was just, you know, I was like, okay,
(07:41):
I'll just go with it. And it just started this
pattern where I eventually would say, I'm not going to
go with it anymore. I'm going to do what I
want to do. And that really freaked her out a lot.
And what happens is when something freaks us out that
we don't understand that is so different from ourselves, our
(08:01):
first reaction is to hate it and to make the
other person feel bad about being that way, and that's
what happened. So I just always grew up feeling like
I didn't quite meet the potential that she wanted for me,
and that made me overachieve in every other way to
(08:21):
try to win her acceptance. And it's so funny. It's
because it's that era and her parents and her you
know it all she was following those traditions and it
wasn't until after she passed away that you know, it's
a whole other story. But I actually had like a
full circle moment with all of it. And I mean,
(08:43):
I know she loved me deeply, she just had we
had trouble connecting and with our daughters. Is that I
realized after I went to therapy, like thanks to you
and D'Angelo he's telling us, like, go to therapy after
my mom died, was that I had spent so much
(09:04):
time worrying about my relationship with my mom and feeling
like I disappointed her, and that it took away time
from building those relationships with my kids. And once I
realized that I was able to say, you know what,
I'm letting go of this with my mom and I'm
gonna focus on building relationships with my kid.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
And that's the thing and is like you obviously you're
you're just a girl, like you're you're her daughter, so
like of course you're gonna want to look yes, yes,
and so like I think just when when people become parents,
(09:47):
it doesn't automatically mean they get all of the tools
necessary because like you obviously a plus a plus plus
plus and loving us, you know, like you definitely turned
the turned a new leaf with that. But and then
there's that thing that I heard where so I was
in my grandma's body too, so like you know, because
(10:11):
I was an egg in your body and you were
an egg in her body. So everything gets all that trauma,
all that stuff gets passed down. So I think, you know,
when when you were going through that therapy and when
I was thinking about like you know, my grandma dying
(10:32):
and everything, and it's it's kind of like you get
to have a new relationship with her now as as
she's like an angel. Now if everyone, if anyone believes
in angels and stuff, we're totally ancestors, angels, spirit guys,
all of it. Girl, We're very like disneyesque, like imaginative,
(10:54):
spiritual hardcore spiritual family where we know that they are
here by our And do you feel like your relationship
with like I want you to speak on that experience
you had that full circle moment because I feel like
a lot of people have difficult relationships with their mom,
especially like Mother's Day and stuff that it's like will
(11:16):
they find any relief?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I did, Like I went through so many years of
Mother's Day was so triggering to me because I spent
all my time worrying about my mom instead of worrying
about me as a mother and the things that my
kids are doing for me. And so you know, I
(11:38):
had the last few years of my mom being a life.
We did, we had our conversations, we spent time together,
but there was still that underlying thickness that we never resolved.
And I had my birth chart read once it said
we were Eventually if she had lived, we would have
resolved it. But you know, life happens, so that gives
(12:00):
me some comfort, but yeah, it was. What happened was
she passed away in twenty twenty one. And for my
birthday this last year, I've always had a special thing
on my birthday with her. This one time she was
in an induced coma, like just coming out of it,
and I said, oh, it's my birthday today. I turned
(12:22):
twenty one. And she literally like got her finger and
drew on my stomach twenty six like the age that
I was. Like, even though she was in this semi
induced coma, she still knew it was my birthday and
how old I was. But on my birthday this year,
my mother in law showed up and she said, I
had a dream that your mom came in my dream,
(12:45):
and it's your birthday, so I thought I would come
to your event. And there was a lady at this
event who was just the exact opposite of my mom,
Like she was all dressed up in glamorous makeup and
updue hair, and she was so chatty, and she it
off with my mother in law. She even put her
number in her phone. And then we're at dinner later
(13:05):
that night and we're joking about it and we looked
at the name and it was my mom's name like this,
and it was an uncommon name, so.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
This well it was. It was me and my nanny,
my mom's mother in law. We were looking This lady
was just so she would ask so many questions, like
during your kind you kind of had like a Q
and a thing. And she was just like her hair
was so beautiful. She drove all the way out here.
She was engaged. She was like a higher It fell
(13:37):
like your seventies. It felt like it would have been
the higher self of Grandma. And so I was like,
who is this lady?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
And then but at the time we didn't make the
connection at all, and it was.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I was talking to Nanni and she came up and
she goes, take a picture of us? Can you take
a picture of us? And she goes send it to me.
She goes, put, I think I still have her number
on my phone. She's like, send it to me, and
then she like got Naughty's number, and then I looked,
I go, oh, what's your name? And she said her
name was Norma. I think I think it was even
Norma Jean, which is my grandma's name. But didn't we
(14:12):
find out earlier that Norma Jean is not her real
it's her American name that not Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Her Spanish name. I forgot. It was like like a
longer version of Norma. Yeah. It was like yeah, it
was like a big long Mexican name. And then they
shortened it to Norma Jean, because I always wondered, how
why did they call her Norman Jene?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Classic appropriation or not app appropriation?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
What is it called assimilation?
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Assimilation?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, But then what was crazy was that when I
saw her name was Norma Jean. And my mom was
very conservative, very quiet, don't stand out, just you know,
kind of be invisible, don't rock the boat. This lady
was the opposite. And so when I saw her name
was Norma Jean, I immediately felt like that was my
(15:01):
mom spirit energy from a higher perspective of just loving
life and being there to be with me on my birthday.
(15:25):
But the real thing that really really made it special
was on our way out, I played the Penny Machines
in honor of my mom because that was her favorite.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
So we went after we went to the casino and
like had this like big cute dinner, and then you
were just like, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, we went into the We left the dinner and
went into the casino and you're.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Like, I guess, oh yeah, let me let me try something.
So she's sitting there, my dad and I are like
walking around. We're like, oh right, it's not really our style,
you know. And then I hear, I'm like, what it was?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
My mom? First thing, I put in the first run
whatever you call it, and I hit the jackpot and
as it was, it was the bulls running, remember, and
then it would go again and it won another jackpot
and another jackpot, and remember, Mia was like, what did
you do? What did you was like, I won the jackpot.
(16:23):
Then Patrick Daddy, he was like, I got gold. My
woman just hit the jackpot. But I took that totally
as a sign from my mom that I won. It
was like one hundred and thirty six dollars in pennies,
but it brought me so much healing, and I knew
that I wasn't crazy. I really do have antenna's into
(16:46):
like you know, beyond what we see and hear here.
And I have a friend who is an angel reader
and I had not seen her in years, and I
went to her and we had a beautiful reading. So
I guess to wrap up that story is that even
if you have a difficult relationship with your mom in
(17:07):
this life, this is not the end all be all
of our journeys together, Like we all are on the
same timeline, just different different stops. And my mom is
like way ahead and where she is, she was able
to come back and give me. She knew that she
needed to give me some reassurance here of some truly
(17:30):
feeling of unconditional love that maybe she wasn't equipped with
the emotional tools to have when she was raising me
as a mom. So have hope. And Yeah. The beautiful
thing though, is like having a daughter now and like
I don't cry at mother daughter movies anymore because I realize, like, hello,
the relationship I always craved with my mom I have
(17:54):
now with my daughter. I've changed that pattern. And when
you have and you carry it on, you will continue
to change the pattern.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, well, what do you say to like you know,
you said to have hope? What do you say to
people with difficult mothers or really strict mothers? Like how
how in retrospect, like how would you what would you
have told yourself during that time?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah? I have gone back to tell but yes, well
number one is self care, to be kind to yourself.
There's nothing wrong with you. It's just a difference of perspectives.
And it's going back to looking deep into your mom
of what was her upbringing? What? Because there's also that
(18:44):
thing that I believe in that we are a version
of our parents' inner child. And so I know for
a fact that my mom, when she was younger, she
wanted to travel, she wanted to dress up every day
and do all of these amazing things. But she got
married and settled down, had a family, and that.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Was the thing to do then. Like that, Yes, the norm.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
The wild and I'm like that wild hair daughter, like
like water for chocolate. I feel like the middle daughter
who ran off naked on the horse with the cowboy,
you know, and you did like I just had this
wild hair in me, and my mom didn't know what
to do with me.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
She didn't know how to handle it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And so I would go back and say, you know
what once, if I had known then like, okay, this
is something that you know, she's hurting in some way,
like I'm triggering something in her. Maybe she needs some healing,
maybe we can. I could have approached it in a
different way instead of why can't you just like me?
(19:52):
I know you love me, but you don't like me,
you know that kind of thing, rather saying you know, mom,
what is it about me that makes you emotional? Like
let's talk about this. I didn't know to do that then,
my first reaction was just to cry and go into
victim mode. And so my advice would be really to
(20:12):
keep a higher perspective and have that self love for
yourself and do your best to try to understand where
things are coming from with her, and you know, it's
sometimes if you don't get along, it's okay. Like I
had reached a point to where it had becomes so
hurtful for me that I just had to like focus
(20:35):
on my family, but I didn't disconnect from her totally.
I just kept it very loving and light. You know.
I just didn't go into deep things because I didn't
want to upset her because she was getting older. So yeah,
it is very complicated, but I say there's hope because
(20:57):
you know, even though I'm not saying, oh wait till
after she passes on and things will get better, it's
just knowing that the journey continues, and if you believe
in the Hulu like I do, we are woo signs.
There are signs that you can take that. Maybe it
brought me so much comfort because I really felt like
(21:17):
it was her higher self connecting with me and it
healed all of my wounds. It's so hard to explain
but I don't feel any of that hurt or pain anymore.
Since I had that experience.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
You were able to go to therapy and figure out
what the crux of your UH triggers were and what
the exact like pinpoint what the exact issue was. Because
the thing is that I'm still learning every day is like, yes,
(21:52):
people can make you upset or sad or whatever, but
you're the one who has to fix it, like within yourself,
Like there's no amount of sorrow or even when I
have gotten the best apology, it still doesn't matter. I
mean it matters obviously, accountability, yes, but there's nothing like
really working on your reactions and how you are putting
(22:14):
your body through so much stress by letting them make
you feel a certain type of way. So I feel
like there was a moment there where you were like
you caught it, you know, like, yeah, you caught that
and you were able to practice that. And also I
think inner child healing is the best way to heal
(22:38):
because like when you said before, you would you know,
cry and to go into victim mode, it's not victim mode.
You're going you're literally reverting back as a child, you know,
like your parents When I go back home, I have
to like work on not turning into an angsty sixteen
year old.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yes, you know, with like you know, like when else
interesting is that the roles of mothers and daughters they
also shift because you're very mature, Like you grew up
very mature, and I feel like you have this wise
energy from our ancestors, and sometimes it is more mature
(23:20):
than me as a grown adult when you were a kid.
And I think what happened, like coming from that experience
with my mom where I had to kind of feel
ashamed of the kind of person that I was and
things that I liked, which now I've built a whole
career off of it. But being a mom growing up
and having this life, I was like, I'm not holding
(23:43):
back on anything. I'm going to be who I am.
And my kids like maybe they weren't into that. And
there's like some instances where you know, it's like I
don't want to do that. Just because you like to
do it, that's good for you, but I don't want
to do that. And there's times when you've had to
step up and take a mother role and and you
(24:06):
know it's it's we always take turns in things, so well,
it's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yes, And like as a daughter, and I'm sure a
lot of people also can relate to like seeing your
mom being mistreated or cry all the time from any person,
but especially seeing their mom, you know, like seeing that
from their mom, your grandmother. Like for me, I don't
(24:31):
know about you guys, but like, my mom's my homegirl,
like she's she's my dog. That's my dog right there,
you know, my day one homegirl. Yeah, or you know,
like I always joke, I'm like I that was my
apartment you know for nine months, like I we shared.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
We shared a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Of things together, you know, like, yeah, that is my homegirl.
And when I see somebody, you know, I'm super loyal
to her. So growing up me seeing that, I also
knew that I needed to step up in some way
to be better to you because of your mom, you know,
(25:18):
like and.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
And that's my sister. Was the same way with my grandmother.
That's a cycle protector.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yes, grandma had also experienced that with her mom, and
my aunt Teresa was it was like me and felt
the same way. So this is a cycle. So though
I guess it's like I guess, well we broke the cycle, right,
And I don't know if if I have like a
girl or a boy or kids in general, like who
knows what that's gonna be like, but it like these
(25:50):
are the things with these relationships, is that we have
to see where the cycle started and how we can
what we It's not I don't want to say like
it's our life's purpose to break those cycles, but we
are by by existing and by following our our true
path and and you know, but it's good to see like, Okay,
(26:13):
clocked it clocked you girl, like this this cycle is over.
I wanted to ask, what do you because my mom,
you guys, she's been on the podcast before. She's Kathy
the crafty Chica. I should have gave her the full
intro before mafe all rerecorded. But so thank you Katina. Also, Hi, kbot,
(26:38):
how are you? K bot? Kbot? You're a robot? Do
you have a mom? Kbot has a mom? Cool? Love it?
So my mom is an entrepreneur, she's a crafter, an artist,
an author, I mean yeah, author, writer, she's all. She's
(27:02):
multi passionate, right, and I grew up watching her do
all those things, which has I always say, I'm a
NEPO baby of creativity because somebody called me a nepple
baby in my life the other day because of how
cool my parents are, and I'm like, I'll take it.
I'll full on take it, because yeah, we were very
(27:23):
privileged to have two parents who like, look at my
mom's background if you're watching on YouTube and look at
my background, my all of my background, all this are
is my mom's art. Like, this's cool. You know, That's
what I grew up with. So like, and you're still
doing it to this day. And so I watched you
hustle and work while having a family, a husband, kids,
(27:48):
work all that stuff. What do you say to when
people say to women like they can't have it all
or do it all, they can't have a you know,
a relationship, kids, and your career, like you have to
give up one Like what do you say to that?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Well, I think that it is possible to do it all,
have it all, but at different different points. You can't
have all of it at each one being at one
hundred percent. If you have one thing at seventy five percent,
(28:27):
the other stuff has to share the twenty five percent.
So it's really finding the balance and looking at your
life of like, Okay, my kids and family should be
seventy five percent or sixty percent, and then the rest
can be you know, or fifty percent. Whatever. Your percentage is.
(28:49):
Not that you have to put it literal percentage, but
in a big picture you kind of got to look
at it that way that they can't all be at
one hundred percent. Something's going to be sacrificed. And you know,
mine was a case where we're Daddy and I were
too working artists. So if we had a big event
(29:09):
coming up at the end of the week, we were
like all hands on deck. We have to make merchandise
to sell that we know people are gonna want.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
So we're going to teach dinner, Like what can you
explain really fast, like what the merchandise was?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Oh yeah, so say like at the Herd Museum Spanish market,
people would come in. As much as you had to
put on your table they would buy. So it was
a chance to make thousands of dollars in two days.
So we would make like dozens of framed prints, dozens
of magnets, dozens of dozens of.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
On their own styles and yes.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Getting into substrates, painting them, varnishing them, putting them to dry, tagging,
them loading them like it was a lot of work,
so that took away from family time of like, hey,
let's just go to the park on Wednesday. Well, we
can't this Wednesday because we're in the flow of we
have to make this.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Ended up being family time regardless.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, it ended up ended up being family time. But
it was a balance because it was work. It wasn't
like a hobby. It was how we paid our bills.
(30:39):
But it was also good that we were able to
have the kids with us to do that, even though
sometimes it could be but we would have to.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
But but my brother and I both look back and
were like, how amazing with was that to experience firsthand
what hard work looks like. Yeah, following your passions and
your dreams like that, that is such a huge foundation
for my brother and I that like we have this
(31:16):
sense of like we can do anything that our heart
desires because we saw our parents do it. Our parents
are still doing it.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Yeah, And it's just to like all the moms out there,
include your kids and what you're working on. Explain to
them what you're doing and how it will impact your
family and why you're doing that, ask them for input.
When I was writing my novels. I would sit the
kids on the couch and I would read it to
them or my newspaper articles, and if I got a
(31:43):
giggle out of them, I'm like, oh, this is good.
This is good. So just incorporate your kids into your lifestyle.
And a lot of times we get and think like, no,
i'm working, stay away. Find a way to say, come here,
let me show you what I'm doing. You know, what
do you think of this? And it will I feel
like it could make them feel more included in what
(32:04):
you're doing. So you feel like you're not spending time
with them.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
And your kid will probably turn into a micromanager and
be able to manage a lot of different things. So
I want to also talk about agism in the entertainment
industry and just life in general, because I feel like
we've all heard that there's a time limit or you know,
(32:32):
just literally biologically they tell us that our body clock
is ticking. But then like, you know, there's a certain
age where you feel like in the entertainment industry, whether
you're in you know, social media or TV and film,
once you get to like past thirties or in your forties,
I mean, now it's changing a lot, But like, what
(32:53):
has been your process through you know, still being on camera,
because I've seen you like the way you talk about
yourself sometimes and it's gotten a lot better. But that's
the thing with my mom's that I had to be like,
you're talking to me when I get your age, when
you talk about yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean it's not
just in the entertainment industry, it's everywhere. And I think
the best thing is to always keep learning. And there's
that show Hacks on Max that is so good. It's
this gen Z girl and then the boomer comedian and
(33:38):
it's just so insightful and meaningful to see their conversations
and laugh about it. And she goes through a lot
of you know, the agism issues. But the thing is
is what are we going to do shut everything down
and go live under a rock. No, I'm We're here
to have a life experience, and that life experience includes
(34:02):
the whole spectrum of being younger, being older, and I
still want to do all the things I want to do.
Has the landscape changed definitely? Because opportunities change. I don't
ever want to say they decrease or go away. They
change and you have to adapt to those changes so
(34:25):
you can continue to thrive. And I never want to
be one of those people who just kind of sits
down in gripes about everything. I would rather enjoy my
life experience and keep it moving and keep trying new
things and read the room. Right now, I'm an influencer.
I've had my blog for twenty one, twenty two, twenty
(34:49):
three years, and my followers, like I do, have a
lot of younger followers, but the OG followers, they're like
the same age as me or maybe a little bit younger,
and they're gen xers, And I'm like, you know what,
I'm gonna embrace them and celebrate what are we doing
right now? What is our our crafty spy especially being
(35:10):
latinas there's a lot of women like me who grew
up the same way. And now we're at this stage
of life where we're empty nesters and we have extra income,
so we're gonna indulge and take an art class or
go on an art retreat and just you know, tap
into our creativity. So there's there's always new things to
(35:35):
find and do at every stage.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Do you feel like you've had to like, uh re
introduce yourself to yourself like I don't know, yes, because
my law is sixty. She looks so good, like you
know what I'm saying, like, and I feel like you
know at thirty two versus now, like what has been
(36:00):
the I don't know, biggest thing you've learned or the
biggest takeaway that you have applied to your sixties.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That nothing is ever completely over. It's never too late
to do something or start something, you know. One quick example,
one of the biggest accomplishments I've ever had in my
life that I'm really proud of is writing a novel,
my first novel.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
I have two novels, Waking Up on the Land of Glitter,
Waking Up in the Land of Glitter.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
You know, I did not like the cover at all.
I was so disappointed in it. It's a cute cover,
but it just wasn't what I imagine. And then it's
been fifteen, fifteen years since that novel came out and
it's still holds strong. I got the rights back from
my publisher. I'm going to republish it, and I made
(36:52):
a new cover for it. Fifteen years later, I'm re
releasing it as a fifteen year anniversary that Kathy in
twenty ten was crying tears, like I just thought that
was it. But now in this day and age, we
have the resources to do whatever we want to do.
And I'm like, I am getting the rights back and
(37:14):
I'm going to put the cover on that I always
wanted and I'm going to edit too many metaphors in
that books. I'm cleaning it up a little bit so
i can re release it. So nothing is ever done,
and you have time to do all of these amazing things.
Like I always say that I stopped having goals, and
(37:37):
now I have experiences that I want to have, like
going if you go to Disneyland, It's like, I want
to go to Tomorrowland while I'm here, and so you
make sure I want to have experiences. And one of
the experiences was to have a cover that I love
on the novel that I wrote. And can I just
say I love what you are doing and what Angelo's doing.
(38:00):
I'm so proud to see how they each sprouted off
in their own creative tree and are growing something and
it you know, that's the whole goal is to have
your family have every celebrate each family member's signature style
and support each other to give each other their turn
(38:24):
to shine.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Hey, I love you. Welcome to the astrology portion of
the podcast. We're gonna do a quick speed run because
there's a lot of information. I was gonna do kind
of a bit where I was gonna like match up
my mom's charts and my chart together, but I just
(38:48):
took a tiny little sliver, which makes a lot of sense.
So I'm gonna be looking at both of our north nodes.
So your north node is like your purpose, it's like
your destiny, it's your life path, it's your karma. So
my mom's north node is in Gemini in the fifth house.
(39:11):
Her life purpose involves learning to express herself, be curious,
and embrace lighthearted fun and creativity, which is crazy. The
fifth house placement suggests she might be meant to explore hobbies,
creative pursuits, or even work with children in some way.
(39:32):
Sence her south node. So you have your north node,
and then your south node is like a little more deeper,
is in Sagittarius in the eleventh house. She may naturally
feel comfortable in big picture thinking and group settings. Her
soul's lesson is to focus on more personal self expression
and curiosity in the present moment. So that's why I
(39:53):
love astrology because it's it is a tool for us
to remind us like this, this is her one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Also, my mom is a Sagittarius son, She's a Piscey's
moon and she's a rising Aquarius and she had my
dad is a Leo's son, a Gemini moon and a
rising Libra, so both fire signs and they had double
fire signed children. I'm a double Aries. My brother is
(40:24):
a double Leo and my brother has Leo's son Leo
Moon rising Aquarius. My mom's rising is Aquarius. So it
all kind of like and I have a Pisces rising,
so we have literally bits of you and my dad.
Like my dad his chart, you can see it in
(40:45):
I Think the Father. I forgot where the father is.
Basically in astrology, in your chart you can see where
your mother and father are at and what traits you've
gotten from them. So I'm focusing on like the mom part,
I definitely want my dad to come on the podcast
to you.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Know what I think is so it blows my mind,
is like are my grandson his amost are my dad's
ears and Maya's hands are my mom's hands, Like that's
where I get choked up because even though they are
not here, like they're here, like the DNA, it's carries
(41:23):
through all of us and it will continue to do that.
Like someday I hope that I have great grandkids and
they have my hands or they have my hair. Like
what we're doing now is just like this compared to
the long mark on the world that we're leaving in
generations past and present.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yes, like I said, woo woo woooot.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Put on.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Okay. And lastly, my north note is Insagittarius, which is
your sign in my ninth house, and it says is
my destiny involves seeking higher wisdom, truth and expanding my horizons.
Ironically a very Sagittarius mission, just like your mom's son
her son's sign love astrology. Basically, it says that we're
(42:16):
continuing the ASP I'm continuing the aspect of her life path,
but taking it to a different level. You're meant to explore, teach,
and learn about the world and ways she may have
dreamed of but didn't fully pursue. Like I feel like
we're you know, like with moms and stuff, like they
can only do so much in their generation what they're
allowed to do, and then it just carries on and
(42:38):
on and on. But that concludes the astrology portion.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Okay, that was awesome.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Thank you, Thank you so much, my momy for being
on the podcast. Do you have any last last words
of wisdom.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm just sending a lot of love and support to
any daughters out there who have difficult relationships with their mothers.
And I hope that somewhere in your life or in
your community, that there is someone who has mother energy
that you can connect with and get some comfort from
(43:16):
at the same time while you're working to heal your
wounds from your biological mom. So it's a big world
out there, and we're meant to receive love and give love.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah, And there's something like chosen family, Like there's yeah,
you've had to find your own chosen family too, you know.
I also want to know, maybe not it's not petty,
but my mom attracts a lot of people with mother issues,
like a lot a lot of mommy issues. And I'm
always like, okay, all right, I'm like, I guess it's
(43:48):
just like an orphanage for people who have mother issues
and my mom my mom, I think each other.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, find each other and we support and comfort has
the daughter.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
I'm like, that's my mother, that's my mom, Zobbie. I've
gotten let a lot. There's one tiny little story was
when my friend Alexis, remember, she started crying because like
you were being such a great mom. And I was like,
this is like grade school or grade school. It was
(44:23):
at like a like a sleepover in elementary school. Yeah,
And I was like, okay, all right, it's because my
mom is so she's so angelic and she's very and
I don't mean that as in like she's she's soft
and innocent and she's she's just very spiritual and she
(44:43):
knows who she is and she is who she is.
She's confident, and she has this very gentle way of
you know, making you feel also like you're seen and
heard and and celebrated and you know, and and that
(45:05):
smile on her face is that's how she is, you know,
all day long, except for when I make her mad
a little bit, and then it turns opposite, and then
I'm like, I wish people was to see this real
version of you.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Don't all moms have no because I yeah, I think
all moms have some of that, But my mom like
I carry her energy too. I'm proud that I had
my mommy. She she worked really hard, she had a
lot on her shoulders, Harry, and I know she loved me.
(45:42):
And yeah, so have grace for yourself, have grace for
your mom. We're all going through our stuff, so and
have grace for your daughter.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast. Mommy. How can they
find you on social media.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
At crafty Chica And I just want to give a
shout out to you, Maya. You're amazing, Like, thank you
for all you do and all you share. This girl
ever since she was like, you know, an early teenager,
she was making videos in her room and putting them
(46:26):
on YouTube before anyone was ever. She was working brand
deals at sixteen years old, putting putting markers on sneakers,
feeling and wheel. Shout out to you for for doing that.
That is it's just so wild to see you what
you evolved and growing and you're still doing all these
amazing things. So thank you. But yeah, you can find
(46:49):
me at Craftychica craftychica dot com. I have over to
twenty four hundred craft tutorials on Instagram and YouTube, k
fro TikTok YouTube, all of.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
It, and thank you so much again for listening to
another episode of The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. If
you have any suggestions on what we should talk about next,
hit us up and we miss you curly. You won't
be on the next episode, but you'll be on the
next few episodes. But do oh oh boy do we
(47:22):
have a plan for you? Okay, bye. Make sure to
hit that subscribe button to hear more episodes every single week.
The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast is a production of
Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!