Overcoming Addiction with Arielle Lorre

While Arielle’s life is now filled with meditation, grain free cookies, and granola, that was not always the case. From age 18-28, Arielle was in and out of rehab, addicted to pills and alcohol, and has far too many near death experiences, including being there to find a friend who had been murdered. Arielle has turned her life around, sharing her why, and how she stays grounded every single day and how she gained the confidence to be her true self.  

About this episode;

• Why Arielle turned to numbing agents
• The factors that prime us to become addicts 
• Physical Addiction + overcoming that 
• Battling online judgemental bullies
• Going back to school in your 30’s and more

Instagram: @ariellelorre

Website: https://theblondefiles.com/

Listen to the Blonde Files Podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-blonde-files-podcast/id1458992375

The Truthiest Life on instagram: @thetruthiestlife

Host: @Lisahayim

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Edited by Houston Tilley

Intro Jingle by Alyssa Chase aka @findyoursails 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
M hmm. I know will be all right even when
times Guthart and you feel you're in the dark. Cusy
just so beautiful I can be. When you step in
your heart, you can find list your to see is life.

(00:31):
Welcome back to the Truths Life. This week's episode is
super special to me. It's another episode on addiction and
somebody who I look up to so much in the
influencer space, and it's somebody who's podcast I've been featured on.
It's maybe where You Found Me at one point. It
is with my friend Ariel Laurie, who if you don't know,

(00:52):
you will soon get to know really well. And Ariel
is awesome and there's so much nuanced to her, and
I think as you learn about her story and overcoming
addiction and kind of just the way she speaks, you'll
pick up on that too. What I love about this
episode is Ariel really explains addiction in a way that

(01:15):
I think we forget about sometimes, or maybe we don't
know because we don't have somebody close to us who's
struggled with addiction at that level. But the one thing
that I know about addicts is that it's not that
like they love alcohol or drugs, or that they want
to be wastes of lives or deadbeats what all those

(01:37):
negative words we throw around when we talk about addicts.
But rather there's something underneath all of that that makes
them feel so sensitive to the outside world that it's unbearable.
And when they take their first sip or their first pill,
all of a sudden, there's this numbing agent that allows
them to feel less separate from the rest of the

(01:59):
world world. I've never been an addict, but I certainly
can understand how alcohol has had that effect on me
socially before right, most of us can relate to the
fact that having a drink loosens us up, It makes
us more talkative, it makes us feel more comfortable in
our own skin, and it's easy to see how somebody
who's extra sensitive to all that stimulus would kind of

(02:22):
feel like, Okay, well, I don't function really well as
just myself, but when I drink this substance where I
take this pill, all of a sudden, all my fears
about belonging kind of go away. And I think that's
what so many things come down to, this desire to
want to belong, but this inability to do so, and
alcohol and prescription pills, as Arial's going to talk about,

(02:45):
are too really seemingly innocuous things because they're legal that
enter our lives, that easily become abused by the people
who are maybe struggling the most in day to day life.
And you know, I'm sure you've already looked at Arial's
Instagram and you look at her pain and say, well,
what does this girl have to struggle with? And I

(03:06):
think that's kind of what I hope we all take
away from this episode is you don't need to come
from a hard past to struggle with something. You don't
need to have a difficult current situation to be thrown
into an addiction or something really terrible. And I think
that the more we understand that we're all human beings

(03:27):
with the same types of troubles and the same types
of thoughts and the same types of fears, the better
we can show up and take our lens of judgment off,
and the better we can drop below our initial thoughts
of judgment and see that it's just another human being anyway.
Ariel is so forthcoming in this episode, and like I've

(03:49):
mentioned a bunch, we are talking about addiction. When it
comes to alcohol and prescription pills and illegal substances as well,
So that is a content warning. Ariel does again vividly
tell her story. So if anybody will feel triggered or
they're just in a place of maybe dealing with their
own addiction where they feel like this could set them back,
this episode may not be for you. For those of
you who are comfortable listening to stories about addiction and

(04:12):
want to know Ariel better, I think you will find
this absolutely inspiring and so so so interesting. I just
want to take a second to thank you all for
your awesome reviews that I checked out on iTunes recently.
I try not to check in with those so frequently
because they can really throw me off. That's you know.
Something that I struggle with is negative reviews without constructive criticism,

(04:36):
which sometimes they happen, But those positive reviews, for those
of you who have left them, or even your constructive
feedback reviews, go really really far for me and for
the truthius life and spreading the word about what we
do here, which is showing our human and making a
safe place for all of us to exist in this world. Anyway,

(04:56):
I'm back from vacation and I am feeling so live
and excited about my different types of work, from this
podcast to Outweigh to my course which I'm going to
be running again on March twenty one, in just three weeks.
Can't even believe it. You can find that over at
forth the Noise dot Com forward slash HF, where I

(05:16):
teach all my students how to listen, honor, and trust
their body when it comes to specifically hunger and fullness.
If you've ever struggled with overeating portions feeling like you
just love food too much, this is the course for
you. You You will learn so so so much. Okay, last
thing I want to say is spring is in the air.
I don't know where you live, but where I live.
Just yesterday it was twenty one degrees feels like seven,

(05:39):
and today it was fifty degrees. So we're on the
upward trajectory and that just feels really good. And I'm
so excited for all the growth that spring has for
us all in store. It's been a tough, tough, tough
one full year of pandemic and it is time for
us all to begin to heal and allow nature to
play a role in that. Sending all of my love,

(06:01):
let's jump into this week's episode. Today's guest is Ariel Laurie.
She's a lifestyle, wellness and health influencer. If you don't
already follow you can go check her out. Her instagram
is at Ariel Laurie. Her blog is The Blonde Files,
and her podcast, which is probably my favorite form of
content that you put out, is called The Blonde Files Podcast.
And I promise you you will not be disappointed in

(06:24):
the least. So welcome. Thank you so much for being here,
Thank you for having me. You were one of my
o G guests. You were I didn't go back to check,
but you were one of the first people that I
had on my pody. Really it was the you already
had like a cult following, because I remember all these
new people had didn't just follow me, they reached out
to me and they were like, just heard you on
on Ariel's podcast. So your audience really knows you. And

(06:48):
I know that if anybody listening like isn't in the
influencer space, most people, not everybody, has that effect on
their audience, So that that's amazing. That was the beginning.
Thank you. I'll have to go back and look, but
it was definitely in the like I want to say
for six months, and it will be a two years.
That's April. So thank you. Congrats to you because I

(07:08):
love your show and I'm excited to have you back
on mine. How are you liking podcast? I was just
going to ask you, Um, I absolutely love it. It
feels the most natural to me. I love to talk
to people and I love to know more about people,
and this is kind of an easy way for me
to do so without people being like why are you
asking so many questions? So I can relate to that.

(07:30):
I'm the same way because I don't so much want
to be like the talker. I just I'm so curious
and I like learning from other people, and I am
the same way. I ask so many questions. So it's like,
very you do a really great job bringing on all
different types of experts, but like really experts in the
medical field, and anybody you bring on is always new

(07:51):
and novel to me, So it's not somebody that's kind
of like Okay, I know what they're going to say.
They're always interesting people. And then I think you do
a great job, like you said, like kind of being
the back seat and then asking them the question. Just
hope that I improve upon as I get better, because
I think that's what makes a great podcast. So so
what do you most enjoy actually, of all different types

(08:11):
of content creation that you do. You have your blog,
you do amazing recipes, Instagram podcasts, my favorite is definitely podcasting,
the thing that I was so resistant to. I mean,
I'm I guess I'm an introverted extrovert, but I get
energy from being alone. I don't love like being overly social.
I get drained talking to people for long periods of time,

(08:34):
Like that's just how I am. And for a long
time I was so ashamed of that. And that's partially
why I became like an alcoholic in an addict, because
I needed something to like lubricate those situations so that
I had the energy to do all of that stuff
and feel comfortable and not burn out. So it's something
that I finally like accepted about myself in sobriety, like, oh,
this is okay, this is just how I am. And

(08:55):
I can nurture that in different ways. But I remember
a few years ago people were starting to ask me
to go on their podcasts and I always said no.
I always made it up excuses, and then I felt
like bad about myself because I was like, come on,
areall like just do it? You know, I've I know
that like walking through fear is the best feeling and
it's the way to like get to the other side.
And finally I said yes to one podcast and I

(09:17):
was like sweating my way through it. Are you sweating
right now? You seem pretty chill? No. Yeah, I was
so nervous, and so that held me back from doing
it for a few years, and finally I was like,
you know what, I'm just going to start it. So
it's funny that it's now like my favorite thing. And
then of course I like creating recipes and doing all
of that, but I just feel like it's a it's
a better way for me to connect with people, and

(09:39):
it really fills me up. And then after the hour
you can just you know, walk away from it and
not continue the conversation, which is great for your personality
as well. Totally. Yeah, I mean I in the beginning,
I was like batching interviews and I would do like
four in a day, and I was like, I'm I
just can't do that. And if I do like a
really big one, because I still get nervous and you know,

(10:00):
I'm very sensitive, so I react a lot to that energetically.
So if I have like a really big one that
I'm nervous about or something I need to like rest
the next day, do things that aren't so like social
and focus more on, you know, things that I can
do alone. So I think even out the door, everyone
is now already understanding why you were on my dream

(10:20):
guest list. I had about ten to fifteen people when
I came up with this idea, and you were on
it for me because I mean, hopefully we'll get into
kind of the addiction part, but I mean everything that
you said unrelated to the addiction, maybe these were the
things that maybe led you to addiction. In general, You're
just so comfortable being who you are now, even if
it's not what a typical influencer is. You know, we

(10:43):
expect influencers to get on their story, to have a
high pitched voice to um really sell us in on
a high energy, wellness life. You know, and your your
voice is a big part of who you are, and
you talk slowly, and I've never seen you in an
influencer photo of like fifteen girls. You know, you're just
in your lane, which I love side note, I just

(11:05):
want to say you have the most amazing vocabulary of
anybody that I know. Really, Yeah, I always walk away
or from your talking to you or reading your posts
either learn a new word or like a new way
to use a word, like you use that word lubricate
a few minutes ago, just like beautifully in there love
that I was wondering like what I said that you

(11:25):
were referring to. That's thank you. I appreciate that your
website you had the you have the word eponymous if
I'm even saying right, and I'm like hip hop hip hops,
that's where my head goes. But okay, anyway, the point is,
you know your your Instagram is at Ariel Laurie, and
I'm sure people have already gone to go get a

(11:46):
visual on you. I never had a chance to get
a visual on you before I talked to you on
your podcast. Maybe I looked at your instagram real quick
before saying yes, but I didn't have time to pre
judge you or come up with preconceived ideas. So I'm
kind of glad that I did, because even though your

(12:06):
grid is it's still a perfect representation of who you are.
It's not fake. Like you are creative, you love a
good aesthetically pleasing looking grid situation. You've got beautiful clothes
and recipes, and you know you never look like you
roll out of bed. But I've heard you say on
another podcast that you were on that like you're constantly
trying to prove that you're a person of substance and

(12:29):
you're up against that. So I can feel when somebody
doesn't like me or has or that, I know that
they're talking bad about me behind my back. But for you,
people are saying it to you, Like I've seen horrible
comments left on your page and people treat you like
you're like not a human being. So what is that like?
It's really tough. I will say that for the most part,

(12:50):
probably until the last year, I think that the pandemic
and what everybody is going through has made people really sensitive,
really hurt, obvious slee and I think a lot of
people don't know where to direct that. So I feel
like people who are in the public and influencers and
people that they can kind of have access to are

(13:10):
easy targets, kind of like low hanging fruit. And then
in my situation, it's like I'm married to a guy
twice my age, who's very successful. I think I fit
this kind of archetype, you know, like if you just
look at my page, because Instagram is a highlight reel,
and if you just look at my pictures, like, I
get it. I always joke like, oh, I look like
a basic bitch, like, and that's something that you know,

(13:32):
I think that going back to school initially was kind
of like this way for me to prove to people
that I'm not that and obviously like doing anything for
other people and especially for perception, and like that's all
tied up an ego, right, and that's like not sustainable
and not a good reason to do that. But it
does get to me, you know, it really gets to me.

(13:53):
And then, of course I don't know how much of
it is my projection. Like I'm sure that there are
people who don't think that your audience does really know you.
They're are that handful of people that say mean things.
But the people that come to your page, they're they're
there for the substance, and you get it if you
go just a tiny bit further than just the pretty pictures. Yeah,
it's hard, you know, the rational side of me wants

(14:14):
to say, like hurt people, hurt people, and when somebody
is saying these things to a stranger, it's because it's
coming from a place of pain in themselves. You know,
You're not like a very happy, fulfilled person who's just like, hey,
you're a gold digger whore. You know, like people don't
do that if they're in a good place generally, So
I know that, But at the same time, like we

(14:35):
are human beings, and I think that that has been
kind of just stripped away, and the way that like
we're treating each other online, it's I think it's gotten
really bad. And I know that you just took a
break from social media, and we're gonna come on my
show after this, right, so we're gonna get away into
that good I think that most people have dealt with
the quote unquote hate over the last few years, as

(14:57):
you know, f the haters put your blinders on. And
I personally really appreciate that. I felt like, even just
talking about it, you felt the feeling of what if
you said your sensitive early on, but you felt like
even just replaying it and saying it hurts is not
something we hear a lot. And I think that that's
the perfect way to go about getting me in comments

(15:18):
to say that hurts my feelings, like, hey, hello everyone,
I'm a human being too, because that wakes people up,
and that shows them that you're not this untouchable thing,
even though you're married a man older than you and
he's famous and successful and all the ideas that they
have about you. You know, it kind of breaks you
down into none of that matters, because no matter who
you marry, no matter what you do in your professional career,

(15:41):
no matter how gorgeous you are, you still have human
being emotions that we all have, Like there's that relatability factors.
So I appreciate you saying that. So you go to
your page and we see really awesome recipes. Oh, by
the way, I love your TikTok. I'm a follower of
your TikTok. I really like it. I feel like I
post things on my TikTok that I will not post

(16:02):
on my Instagram. There's like some blend of like recipes.
But yeah, you really give it to us when it
comes to the cosmetic surgery things, which I do want
to get to later on. So your feed, right, it's
got Macho lattes, Scott grain free granola. You know all
that good stuff beautifully. Oh gosh, you make amazing like
sauces from nut cheese is very inspired. One day, I'm

(16:25):
going to really put the leg work into do it.
But your life has not always been this beautiful display
of wellness right, uh, far from it. How would you
describe your life about I think it's six years ago
now it'll be seven years on Monday, which was crazy, Yeah,
thank you. My life before was let's see if I

(16:47):
could sum it up in one word, it was just
a ship storm. I mean what, I can laugh about
it now, but it was dark at the time, or
it was at least very dark at the end. But yeah,
you know. Alcoholism and drug addiction became a big part
of my life when I was around eighteen, and I
had consequences from the start. You know. I think that

(17:07):
in retrospect, I see that I was like treating different
things with drugs and alcohol, and so they became the
solution to feel comfortable in life, and to feel at ease,
and to feel confident, and to feel fearless and all
of these things. I chased that for ten years, and
I went to rehab in and out of rehab in
and out of detoxes. I would have these brief periods

(17:29):
of like getting it together because at the time I
was in such denial that I was an alcoholic or
a drug addict. I thought it would be the absolute
worst thing that could ever happen to me, Like my
life would be over at twenty one if I couldn't drink.
You know, I always put externals first, Like, you know,
I said, if I just go to school, if I
finished school because I dropped out of Syracuse it was
too cold for me, and yeah, and like if I

(17:54):
got the right car and the right job, and the
right apartment and the right relationship and this and that
and the other, all the external things. I thought that
that would solve my my drinking problem, my drug problem.
At the time, I didn't even admit that it was
a drinking problem. I just thought that it would solve
the issues in my life and then I could drink
like a normal person and be happy. And of course
none of that happened. And um, by the end of it,

(18:15):
you know, I was just in like months long blackouts,
living alone. The boyfriend left, I had no friends, wasn't
talking to my family, having seizures all the time, you know,
just pretty much trying to be unconscious all the time.
You know, I didn't want to die necessarily, but I
also didn't I didn't know how to live, and I
just kind of gave up. Do you mean that you
didn't know how to live without the numbing agents. Yeah.

(18:38):
It got to a point where I knew that I
was physically dependent. That was such a terrible place to be.
How do you know that? How do we know that?
So I knew because I would go into withdrawal if
I didn't drink or if I didn't take a xanax
or whatever. Those are my two big ones. I was
also doing a lot of adderall in cocaine, and you know,
I was like I was playing pharmacist. I was trying
to find that sweet spot. But I would have a

(18:59):
seizure if I didn't take a xan x um a day.
I would have a seizure if I didn't drink like
all day every day. I mean it was bad. My
body was like highly, highly dependent on substances at twenty
years old. And so I knew that I had been
to rehab enough times, I had been in detox enough times.
I knew I was physically dependent. I knew I couldn't

(19:21):
stop on my own, and I also couldn't ask for help.
You know, I was just so ashamed. I had asked
for help before and I had gotten it, and once
again here I was, you know, and it was just like,
there's so much shame and addiction and I didn't make
the choice for myself. You know, I got to the
point where my family got on a plane and flew
out and showed up at my apartment and I opened

(19:44):
the door in such dramatic fashion, dropped and had a
Grandmall seizure on the spot and I was taken to
the hospital and that was it. But when I was
finally like coherent enough to have a little bit of clarity,
I knew that that was it. And I'm so so
grateful for that. So for ten years, from eighteen to
twenty eight, you were addicted to alcohol and various drugs

(20:08):
and in and out of different rehab centers as well.
I have grown up with alcoholism and addiction around me,
so I'm really familiar that this is usually not a
go to rehab and your fixed situation. In fact, I've
dealt with a loved one in and out for I mean,
I'm thirty two, so about twenty years of my conscious knowing,

(20:28):
and it's happened before that. But I think if you
don't have a loved one that struggles with addiction, or
they've never been to rehab, you might think rehab is
is it? You would think that the person going to
rehab would recognize that that's rock bottom. But for those
times that you did go to rehab for you, was
it like, oh, I don't have a problem, this is
just a tool, or is it like I know I

(20:49):
have a problem, but it's not even going to stop me.
The first time that I went to rehab, I was
like twenty years old, So at that point I was like,
I don't have a problem. I'm doing what my friends did.
I happen to get because I got a d uy oh.
The next time it was kind of like every two
or three years, I would go to rehab. The next
time I tried to deflect and blamed it on love addiction.

(21:09):
So it was the relationship that I was in, and
you know, we're very manipulative, and I was able to
convince everybody there that that was the problem, and everybody
at the rehab. You convinced the rehab Yes, convinced. The
rehab convinced my family. That's so terrible. I remember my
parents flew out. I was in Arizona for a family weekend,
and I remember like vividly where I was sitting everything,

(21:31):
talking to my dad and being like, you know, this
is really the problem. That's this guy that I'm with,
and I really I'm not an alcoholic, and I remember
my dad being like, yeah, I really don't think you aren't.
It's like I was drinking on the plane back from
that rehab, you know, like and within a week back
to my old antics, and then I got arrested for drugs,
and you know, it just like progressively gets worse. I

(21:52):
believe that alcoholism is a progressive and terminal illness. You know,
it gets worse, it never gets better. And so that's
how I treat it, you know, I treat it like
with a daily maintenance kind of approach, just as I
would if I had some kind of terminal disease. That's
how we approached it in in my house growing up too,
and or how I was thought to think about it.

(22:13):
But I don't think that's something that everybody kind of realizes.
How close to death do you think you got or
were there multiple occasions where you were pretty close. So
when I finally got sober and got to the hospital,
they said that I probably wouldn't have made it through
the weekend. So your parents showed up at your door,
maybe intuitively knowing or yeah, So they had done a

(22:34):
wellness check on me because I wasn't answering my phone,
and they knew that I was living alone. The boyfriend
had left. They knew that, you know, it was really
hard to get in touch with me, and they knew
that things were bad, so they called the police. I
was living in West Hollywood at the time, and they
came and they tried to knock on my door and
an answer. They looked through the window and they saw
me face down, unresponsive, and so they had to break

(22:55):
through the window and take me to the hospital. And
I don't really remember any of this, but I somehow
got out of the hospital, got back to the apartment,
kept doing what I was doing. At that point. I
had a neighbor who was also a drug dealer, and
he was injecting me with god knows what he says.
It was B twelve. I don't think he was a
big vitamin guy. I was you know, drinking whatever I

(23:17):
could get my hands on. I hadn't eaten, and god
knows how long, and so it was just like, you know,
I was just shutting down along the way. I think
there are so many times that I cheated death. I
mean I would wake up in the hospital not knowing
how I got there. I would wake up in my
car across the state in the passenger seat, you know,
having no idea how I got there. I drove drunk

(23:39):
all the time. I yeah, I mean, there's no reason
that I should be sitting here right now. And you
are from Rhode Island. And then I know that some
of the rehabs were in Florida and you had some
time there. How did you end up in l A. So, yeah,
I spent some time in Florida. I went to rehab there.
I went to a few rehabs and other states from there,
and then went back and my friend was murder it

(24:00):
in Florida and I found her, and so at that
point my family came and kind of like whisked me
out of there, and they were like, we don't know
what is going on in your life. We don't know
who these people are that you're hanging out with how
you're getting in these situations. They knew obviously that I
had a drinking problem, but they could only do so much.
You know. I would go to rehab and get out,
and I was an adult. Was this a friend from

(24:22):
your drug alcohol day? What party friend? I guess I
should call it? Yeah, we were party friends and uh so, yeah,
my parents came and took me away and I was
living at home with them for a summer and a
girlfriend of mine was living in California and she's like,
why don't you come out here for two weeks? So
I said, okay, And I came out for two weeks
and I never went back. And how old were you then?
Around twenty six? Yeah? Okay? And did you have a

(24:45):
job during this, Like now I only know you as
a content creator? Were you working? No, I wasn't working.
I had gotten some money when my grandfather passed away,
which is terrible. I hate even saying that, but I
was kind of living off that. And then like I
would live with a few girl friends and I would
kind of couch hop here and there, and then I
would move in with a different boyfriend. And I was

(25:05):
really good at like glomming onto people and it's just
it's kind of funny for me because you're like the
opposite of that. You're so hard working at everything that
you do. I can't even imagine what you looked like
during this time because, like I said, go to Arial's page.
Look at how how picture perfect you looks all the
time and a very natural I laugh saying natural because

(25:25):
you're so open about cosmetic surgery. But you're okay, and
we have the same approach I think to to all
things cosmetic, you know, and make up in all those
things is like I want to look good, but I
want to look natural, and I want to be low maintenance, right.
I've heard you say that before, and I'm just like,
that's exactly it. Like I don't want to like wake
up and put on the things and do the hair
like whatever it is to make it easier. So during

(25:47):
your addiction days, did you have the same like care
for yourself of making yourself look fresh? For lack of
a better word, I definitely didn't look fresh. I mean
I was in my twenties, so things were like a
little perk year, and like I could sleep with makeup
on and wake up the next day and look fine,
you know, and on two hours of sleep, Like so
unfair that we get that in our twenty and like teens,

(26:10):
and you know, I was cute for the most part.
I look back on all the pictures though, when I
was like drunk, and I'm like, oh God, like you know,
because you go back and you keep putting makeup on
and think you look really good and by the end
of the night it's like clown status. So you know,
I definitely by the time I got sober, though, I
was twenty eight, and I did not look like fresh

(26:31):
as a daisy because I had been smoking a pack
a day for god knows how long. I was like
averaging probably two three hours of sleep at night and
drinking like a fish, and uh, you know, I was
living hard. Kind of a weird question, but I mean
I feel like I can very much imagine your life. Now.
You wake up, you meditate, you make your macha, you

(26:53):
have like a delicious oatmeal that like I would like
to order from you. Um, do you go for a
while you do, meliss it would health pilate you know whatever?
You Okay, anyway, I got like your talking stereotype. No no, no, no,
take your dog for a walk, okay, then you're probably
tucked into bed at like eight pm. Like I feel
like I got it down right, You got it pretty well. Yeah.

(27:14):
How would you describe your day at age six? Like,
so I would probably wake up around like ten or eleven.
I would take an adderall, go outside, have a coffee
and a couple of cigarettes. Definitely start drinking because once
the adderall kicks in, you know, you need to like
bring it down a little bit because it was too

(27:35):
much for me, too much energy. So I'd find that
sweet spot depending on like you know, I'm thinking back
to like when I lived with some girlfriends of mine,
I would like go to the beach, hang out, start partying,
maybe at like four or five, get some coke and start.
Then that was it. And it was like, oh um, oh,

(27:55):
I was actually thinking about this the other day. Like
I would probably eat one meal a day, and it
would sometimes be like at the end of the night,
you know, when I all everything would wear off and
all of a sudden, I would be starving and I
would eat like half a pizza and then you'd go
to sleep at like what time, Like two or three
would be good, sometimes like five or six. Wow, Okay,

(28:15):
And did you I guess like when it wears off,
you start to feel deplete again, and then you kind
of have to start that cycle over. Is that what
it feels like? Yeah, the colmdown was really really terrible,
and I never understood how, even just from drinking. I
never understood how I could go out with friends and
say I was like keeping it together and having like
a quote unquote normal night, and we would go to

(28:37):
dinner and maybe go get some drinks after or something,
and then everyone like calls it a night at eleven
for whatever reason. For me, like, once the alcohol started
wearing off, it was so depressing, and I think because
like I was using it to cover up things. So
once that started wearing off, it's like the numbing agent
wearing off. I was starting to exist in reality again, right,

(28:58):
and and see the things that I am trying to
stuff down Reality was just intolerable for me, and so
I did my best to like numb it without being
totally out of control. But of course that didn't work
out very well. And I've heard you say that, like
you're growing up, was you know, perfectly fine. You went
to private school, everything was fine, so it's it's not

(29:18):
like you had this hard childhood that was the hard part.
Do you think it's just your personality type being so
hypersensitive and kind of not knowing that, or genetics what
do you think primed you to kind of become an addict.
It's interesting because I think in general, I believe in
kind of a biopsychosocial approach. Right, It's it's partially genetics,

(29:41):
it's partially environmental. I think that those two things play
a big role. And I've I'm sure you've heard this before,
like genetics loads the gun and the environment pulls the trigger.
Kind of a violent but it's accurate. But yeah, yeah,
So for me, I didn't have any of that. I
don't have alcoholism or addiction anywhere in my family as

(30:03):
far as I know. And I didn't have a hard upbringing,
and yeah, I talked about it. I have. I went
to private school and like I drove a Volvo for
God's sake, Like I was a responsible person. And I've
looked back in hindsight a lot, and what I've been
able to recognize is that I always just felt a
little bit different, Like I just felt a little bit

(30:24):
separate from everybody else. And I think probably that does
have to do with just feeling more sensitive, being more introverted,
having a little bit of a different energy. And I
always thought that I had to be like very social
and like the life of the party, and and I
think that what happened was like, over the years, I
was not honoring who I really was, and so it

(30:46):
was like just putting this facade up and like not
being true to myself and um, you know, not being
true to my values and how I was raised and
dropping out of school and seeing all my friends go
on to accomplish things, and like it just cause me
so much shame, and so that kind of fueled it,
you know, and then it's so it was like a cycle.
That's the word that you keep kind of bringing up

(31:07):
the shame, and I feel like you have the shame.
Then you drink and it goes away, and then you
probably make bad decisions while you're drinking or don drugs,
which then the drugs wear off and you feel more
shame for those decisions, so you go back to the
drinking because it takes it away. Like it's easy to
just see from an outsider how it happens, and it's
easy to judge if you never have a conversation with

(31:28):
an addict. But as soon as you you talk to
somebody and you hear it, it's like, I don't know
that could happen to me, you know, Like I had
the different environment, I guess, or the different gun for
lack of a better word. There, you know, one of
my factors somehow pivoted me a little bit to the left.
But so many things I feel like could have could
have been me. And it's so important to understand the

(31:49):
mentality because living with shame for anything is there's no
reason for it, right, I think there's no reason for it. Yeah,
you know, I do hear people say that, like it's
not a dizzy is and it's more of a moral
failing and it's a choice. And I always say I
still hear it a lot, surprisingly, but I always try
to tell people like I didn't want to be doing

(32:10):
what I was doing. I wanted more than anything to
be able to not drink for like two consecutive days,
you know, and I could not do it. It got
to the point where it was like a primal need,
just as much, if not more so, than eating and
drinking water and sleeping, you know, it Just like it
overrode every other impulse in my brain. So it really

(32:32):
was kind of my primary purpose, like a survival thing.
And um, it's probably hard for people to understand who
haven't experienced that. I think by talking about the seizures,
I had my friend Rocco come on, who is also
sober for a bunch of years now. And you know,
history isn't the same as yours, but there's there's a
lot of overlap in the times to rehab, the rehab,

(32:54):
the final straw, the things that happened, how close to
death he got as well. But I think when we
talk about alcohol is um and like you said, all
of your friends were doing it, and we normalize alcohol
so much to know that or even xan X and adderall.
I mean, I've actually never I've been terrified of prescription
pills because I saw what they did early on. I've
known about them, you know, causing seizures since I was

(33:16):
eight years old, so that that to me was always like, wait,
that's not that's not a fun party drug. That's like,
what the what the heck is going to happen? But
I don't think that most people recognize, you know, how
it goes from a prescription pill or a legal substance
like alcohol at twenty one at least can lead to seizures.
Like that makes it so much more real, Like who

(33:38):
would think that something that we are allowed to do
could have those effects. Yeah, that was my greatest fear too.
And I remember when I first went to rehab when
I was twenty, I didn't know about that. I didn't
know that you could have a seizure from alcohol a drawl.
I didn't hadn't gotten into benzos or anything at that point,
but I learned about it then, and it's like it's
very hard to go to rehab and then go back

(34:00):
to drinking with like a head full of recovery. It's
like you have to really try to compartmentalize. But at
that point I was aware, and so I part of
what led me to xanax actually, interestingly, and I never
really made the connection until right now, is the fear
of having a seizure. I was like, well, I want
to keep drinking, like I want to drink, but I

(34:22):
don't want to have a seizure from withdrawal, And they
use Benzo's to help with alcohol withdrawal, ironically, so that
kind of led me and then I found you know, xanax, valium, klonopin,
anything that ended in as apam. I was like, sign
me up. And I mean, it's kind of like alcohol
and a pilliform. I'm not trying. I hope I'm not
promoting this, but and I hope will be super clear

(34:45):
that that's not the point. Yeah, I mean, it was
just like I'm an anxious person, I'm a sensitive person,
so all of a sudden, I felt the complete opposite
of that, and it was like I have arrived. I mean,
it was like a spiritual experience for me. No, of course,
when finally like that facade to be the high energy
person to fit in, all of a sudden, you could

(35:06):
be that person more easily because you know, the tension
in your shoulders relax and suddenly socializing is easy, and
that's like, you know, the normal thing to do. It
definitely makes sense. And I know plenty of people that
have had seizures from adderall and prescription pills alone. So
even though in the controlled setting it could be used
to formulate to help you taper off of that, in

(35:28):
a non controlled setting, as many people end up just
because they're prescribed these drugs, it has some really detrimental
long term effects, and you're right, I mean it is
really normalized. I can laugh about drugs and alcohol. You know,
I'm not like so uptight, but I hear so many
people who talk about just doing adderall because they don't

(35:48):
want to eat and because they want to be able
to drink and people public people, and same with xanax.
You know, it's really normalized. And especially in l A
like very overprescribed. I think like everybody has a person
option for adderall and snax. You know, it's like tic
taks and drinking too. I mean, I don't really think
that drinking is problematic, but I think it has been

(36:08):
kind of glamorized. And yeah, I think a lot of
people don't really know like the risks not to be
a buzz skill. If anybody is listening to this and
wine and an appropriate buzz skill, I think it's a
I mean, I'm a big proponent of someone who's not sober,
but just always taking a look at that relationship and
recognizing why you're having that glass of wine and can

(36:30):
you I think really the big thing for me is
can you have that one glass of wine? Because I
mean most addicts can't have one glass of wine. It
turns into a long string of things. Okay, so you
went to the hospital and that was like your last
wake up call. You had that big seizure, and it
was just like, this is my time to get well.
But how did you actually go well? Did you start
going to a meetings? Do you have other tools? Yeah?

(36:53):
So I went to rehab for ninety days, and then
I went to another rehab for another ninety days, and
then I yeah, so I was in a pretty controlled
environment for like six months, which I needed, and then
I came back to l A and I went into
sober living. So my first year of sobriety was in
a sober environment. What does that mean sober living? When

(37:13):
you returned? So sober living is like a house where
they have like a house manager and different staff, and
there's like eight or ten or twelve women. Usually it's
by gender without the alcohol, like a sober soberty. Um.
You know, I was twenty eight at the time, right,
and a lot of the people were younger and not

(37:33):
really taking it seriously. But I just kind of like
put my head down and I got a little job
and I found a recovery community in l A. And
I just started like rebuilding my life. You know, I
got sober, I got rid of my apartment, I got
rid of my car. I had nothing at twenty eight,
which a lot of people at that age feel like,
all right, I'm sliding into thirty. I need to like
get married and have babies and like get the show

(37:55):
on the road. And it was terrifying, but it was
also exhilarating because I knew that I had a second
chance at life. You know, what was keeping you inbounds
on hard days, on days where you felt extra sensitive
or whatever your triggers were for previously using alcohol. Was
it just the fact that being in that sober community

(38:17):
kind of really took away a lot of those pressures. Yeah, definitely.
I had a lot of sober friends and people who
were around my time sobriety just kind of starting out
and figuring it out, and we were going through the
same things together, and people who had kind of walked
the road before me who were helping me. But really, like,
I was so grateful that first year, the first few years,

(38:39):
it was shocking to me that I could go to
the grocery store without drinking a bottle of wine before.
And I remember getting my first car and sobriety and
having like valid registration because like going to the d
m B and like doing that boring ship was not
something I was going to do before, you know, And
and I just felt like, I don't know, I can't
even explain it that some people call it a pink

(38:59):
cloud out, but I felt so good and I was
so grateful that I had a chance to start over.
And I know that some people don't have this experience
getting sober, and I work with people who have a
really hard time and are having cravings all the time
and are going through hard things. But I was just
kind of like enamored with this new life that I had,
and so I was willing to go through anything. And

(39:20):
I was kind of almost grateful too to be feeling
anything good or bad, you know. I was like, I
went through a really painful breakup at a year sober,
and I remember lying there in bed crying, kind of
writhing in like discomfort, but just like knowing so deep
down that there was something better on the other side.
Just having that faith, and that's something that I got through,

(39:41):
like the fellowship that I found. Now, your life and
what sorts of people do you surround yourself with? So
that you can be the true you. Are you very
selective about friendships? Have you made new friendships? Yeah, that's
an interesting question. I surround myself with all kinds of
different people. I have friends who are my age and

(40:03):
have similar interests, and then I'm friends with like ninety
year olds, you know, Like I think that's kind of
a gift of sobriety, right, is that, like you have
this common bond with people that you would never have before,
but on such a deep level. And Yeah, I'm really
protective of who I spend my time with because I
know when I'm around somebody who's kind of like sucking
my energy in the way that I used to surround

(40:23):
myself with people in the past where I felt like
I needed to keep up or like put up a
facade and do all of that. So, um, I have
like a close group of girlfriends, and then I have
you know, friends through my husband, I have friends through
our job, and like I've met people just through doing
podcasting who I've become friends with. So I would say,

(40:44):
like my core group is small, but then I have
a lot of different kind of compartments. I know, there's
not much socializing in at least but prior to that,
is it difficult to be in social situations where the
norm is an l a party where you live, and
like even you go to red carpet events, Like are
those things triggering in any way? Now? I love a

(41:05):
red carpet. I love a red carpet too, thank you,
thank you. I love it. It's like, give me all
the fashion and the shoes. I know you can relate,
do the makeup, but then at midnight I'm like, Okay,
I'm done, Like, get this ship off me, take me home.
But yeah, no, I do not get triggered in those
kind of environments. I mean, I think if I were
going to parties where there was like a pile of

(41:26):
cocaine and everyone's like ripping lines, I would be like,
and this is not very comfortable. But um, it's interesting.
You know, I really got to this place with alcohol
at least I don't know about drugs where you know,
I'm I feel neutral. I don't feel like I'm tempted
to do it, and I'm also not like put off
by it. For a lot of people, at the end

(41:46):
of the day, it's so I'll way to wind down,
and it kind of becomes the only way that they know.
Do you have any wine down rituals? So I do
an afternoon meditation. I do TM, which I talked about
all the time, and I always say, like people probably
check out and their eyes glaze over if you say
meditation or TM or any of that. But it really
I mean talk about like helping with my anxiety and

(42:08):
that separateness that I felt from people around me in
the world and and myself. So I know you talk
a lot about it on your podcast, but can you
break down transit transidental meditation? Right, It's twenty minutes of
meditation twice a day in silence, and it's mantra based,
So you go to a TM center, learned from a

(42:30):
teacher there, and it's very simple, very effortless. I was
doing guided meditations and I felt like they were relaxing,
but they weren't really helping me. And from the first
day that I did TM, which was maybe almost three
years ago, it was like overnight life changing, just in
terms of helping with my anxiety, helping with tension. I

(42:50):
had a TM teacher on my podcast and she used
the analogy of like doing the laundry of your brain
twice a day, and that's exactly what it feels like
for me. I'm gonna do it after the US, like
the afternoon one. I always say this, but it's like
a natural zan X. I mean, yesterday I was feeling
so tense. My shoulders were up to my ears. I'd
been on my computer all day. My eyes were bloodshot

(43:11):
and puffy, and I was like doing school and this
and that, and just that feeling that you get at
the end of the day from after doing work and
so anxious. Every cell in my body was vibrating. And
I went outside and I did a twenty minute meditation,
and afterwards it was like I was a completely different person.
I was in a completely different state of being, state

(43:32):
of mind. Every cell in my body was relaxed, you know.
It was like turning off a switch. So I do
that at the end of the day, and depending on
school and work and all that, I will cook. I
find it very cathartic. It's kind of like my treat
and that's pretty much it. And then like late at
the end of the day, I'll do like bubble bath,
read lights, some candles, lights, some stage do all that.

(43:53):
I feel like, you know, if a regular wellness influencer
came on and said meditation is like a natural zan X.
Most people would roll their eyes, but I think coming
from you, it has like a lot more credibility, and
specifically the TM meditation for anybody, and Ariale talks about
it all the time on her podcast, so that'd probably
be a better place to begin to understand how it works,

(44:15):
how you can get started. I'm a much bigger fan
of silent meditations as well, but I have never had
training or tools maybe to dive as deeply as I
could go. But the other day I had somebody really
pissed me off, and I went from feeling amazing too
so triggered annoyed. My energy just got like so bad.

(44:37):
And I was around my husband, who I love, and
he wasn't the problem at all, but I was like
too much stimulation, like too much everybody coming at me.
Went upstairs in my little meditation nook and just took
like ten minutes to myself and exactly what you said,
like doing laundry for your brain. Like I just feel
like I cleanse not just my brain, but my whole
body of everything that I had like taken on throughout

(45:00):
the day, the positive, the negative, so much energy, like
if you're I think you and I are both very
sensitive and we take on the energies around us, which
could leave us deplete. Having that time to literally I
just sat in silence. I did a little bit with
like a sound bowl because that really I don't know
if you ever work with sound, but it's like a
brain massage that sounds so good. You're like speaking my

(45:21):
language right now. I'm not as good as daily as
I have been, But when you need it and it's
there and you know how to grab for that tool,
it's like, oh, I'm so grateful because I didn't have
any of these tools either. I mean, I've never had
addiction to alcohol, but I mean it was certainly like
my vice for a long time, and it never made
me feel better, you know, I just woke up feeling
shitty the next day. Anyway. Okay, so then you met

(45:44):
your husband, and it seems like he's been a really
positive impact on your life, from business to self worth
to I don't know all the things, right Like, do
you feel like he has a very positive impact on you? Yes,
he definitely does. Yeah, he's kind of my biggest cheerleader,
but he really has kind of given me the confidence

(46:06):
and the support to go after my dreams. You know,
he's kind of like, I don't want this to come
off the wrong way, but he's kind of like my
safety and you know, he believes in me so much.
And because he has so much more life experience and
different perspective and he's so much older, he's the best
person to go to for advice. He is able to

(46:29):
see things differently from how I see them, because I
see them as Okay, I'm like in my mid thirties
and this should be happening with my career and this
and this and this and that, and you know, like
we feel like we have to have everything figured out
by now and that we should be like the most
successful people in the world. And like he didn't start
getting successful until he was around my age a little
bit later. Yeah, So he he's just so supportive. On

(46:53):
the other side too, I told you this when we
when we first met your age difference. I don't know
how many years it is, but it didn't didn't make
me bad. And I because, yeah, my dad and my
stepmom are thirty years apart, and that's that's been my
whole life. But to that same token, I've while I've
never actually heard people say nasty things about her because

(47:13):
of her age and the difference. I'm very aware of
the conversations that have been going on since I was
six years old, and I also was the only person
that knew what that relationship looked like on the inside.
So for me, I mean, to call somebody, you know,
a gold digger or these things is just so oversimplifying
what a relationship is in the way two people can

(47:35):
create safety for each other and the age doesn't matter.
Sometimes that just that just works, and it seems to
really work for you guys. But I have seen people
say those awful things to you. And there are certainly
wives in or husbands I don't know, to go either way,
that spend their husband's money, you know, like quote unquote,
but if the couple's the same age, Like if Evan

(47:56):
and I, like we're five years apart, Like no, you know,
and I'm spending money our credit card? Is anybody like
I'm spending his money? Like what is the difference? You're
you're freaking married couple. Like it's so such a weird
mentality to think that, like because of the age difference,
you spending your money is like any different, right, Yeah,
and I think it just kind of like discounts so

(48:18):
many things, Like so you're saying that he has no
good qualities other than the fact that he has money,
and that I have no good qualities other than the
fact that I'm young, and so these are the only
two reasons possibly that we would ever want to be together.
You know, it's like so oversimplified, But I don't think
there's much rationalizing with the people who like fire off
these kinds of comments. But yeah, I remember I got

(48:39):
a message that's a couple of years ago. This is
how much they stick with me. Right um in New
York and I got like a facial and I put
on my Instagram story and someone was like, oh my god,
you're like spending your husband's money getting facials. And I'm like,
so a thirty the thirty three at the time, thirty
three year old woman can't go get a facial without
like without it meaning that her has been is paying

(49:01):
for it, Like who has a career? I mean, come on,
Like meanwhile, like she's talking to you via your business
account that you show up on every single day posting
content doing your own job. So there's also that that,
you know, it's also just a funny thing for me
to hear people say that to you, because it's so
obvious how hard you work from school too. Well you're

(49:22):
back to school now, but you know, doing influencing full
time podcasting, the stuff takes a lot of time out
of the day, more than people, you know, realize that.
I think so. And there's a lot of money there.
I want to say that because so many people are like, well,
what are you gonna do for your real job, or
like how do you afford to, like, you know, go

(49:43):
to a go on a trip with your girlfriend. It's like,
I work, and this stuff pays really well when you
work hard, right, it's not easy work. I think that's
also kind of this idea like, oh, you just take
a picture, but when you produce good content on for
a brand, the money is good. Just as if you
do good work anywhere you're there's going to be that
reward for it. Okay, just pivoting a little bit for

(50:05):
the sake of time here. You're really open about all
things orthorexia and plastic surgery. You really tell it all,
which I truly appreciate because most importantly, like we said,
I sent people to your page. You look awesome all
of the time, but you're also like, yes, this ship
is expensive, and I did not wake up like this,
and I just appreciate that so much compared to the

(50:26):
people that are just like, yes, this is how I
woke up, or like, have caked on concealer but haven't
told us, and we just think their skin is so
you know, smooth like that. So I'm sure you get
a ton of ship for sharing that. Does that ever
make you want to stop either doing it or talking
about it? Not really, so, I mean that's partially why
I said earlier, like I'll put stuff on TikTok that

(50:48):
I won't put on Instagram. I don't know why I
feel like I can deal with it better over there
than on Instagram. Maybe it's something about like showing people
that actually know me, you know, these videos that will
put up of like my brow lift or a lip
lift or whatever. Um, even though everybody knows that I
do it, and I talk about it all the time
and I'll throw up before and after pictures. But I
understand that people are entitled to their privacy and I

(51:10):
totally get it, like people want to get cosmetic procedures
and not talk about it. But I think the instagram
and influencing world and celebrities that are on social media,
and I mean, it's like so many people are doing this.
It's so much smoking mirrors. And I realized that there
was really nobody who was talking about this stuff at
least a few years ago, like when I first shared

(51:30):
it when I got my nose job. This is in
two thousand seventeen, and I just kind of felt like, well,
why not, you know, why not share with people like
what's actually happening. Now over the last couple of years,
there's so many more like doctors and instagrams that are
showing these procedures, and I feel like if I go
on my explore feed, it's like all plastic surgery stuff,
like that's really what I'm looking at. But I just

(51:52):
kind of wanted to be like a resource because I
know that there are so many people who are interested
and who want to do this stuff and get misled
and go the wrong way, and that's like such a
big problem now the marketing and social media and anybody
can buy followers and put up a before and after
picture of Bella Hadid and be like I'm an expert,
you know, and somebody will go put strings in their face.

(52:13):
You've really like whistle blown on that whole trend of threading,
which it's like, you're not just for somebody listening that's
maybe never listened to any of your episodes before. You're
not just like I got a nose job and it's
amazing where I got this and this and it's all perfect.
You're like, no, I did this. I wish I didn't
do this. Uh, this is actually more temporary. It doesn't
come out good, it's a waste of money. So I
appreciate any person who's willing to just show up as

(52:37):
themselves and own it. And you do just that for me,
So I appreciate that. So what are you back to
school for? Just tell us a little bit about that. Well, now,
I don't know. Now, I'm not trying to have any
super lofty goals and put any labels on it. I'm
just going back. As I mentioned earlier, I dropped out
of Syracuse and then I would like randomly take classes
here and there and try to string something together before

(52:59):
I got sober, and I could never quite figure it out.
I couldn't follow through. And when I got sober, I
was twenty eight and I felt like it's too late
to go back to school, you know, almost thirty. It's
like the end of the world. And so I didn't
do it. And it's just something that really nagged at
me over the years. And I think some of that
just comes from, you know, I grew up in not

(53:23):
an academic family, but that was something that was important
to my family, and it was important to me before
I found drugs and alcohol. It just felt like this
unfulfilled thing, you know. I didn't have any closure on it.
And I would always hear people who are sober talk
about going back to school and getting their masters or
getting their doctorate or whatever, and I was like, I
want to do that, you know, And it was just

(53:43):
that voice inside. And so when the pandemic started, I
had the time and I was like, I'm just going
to go back online. So I started doing that. So
undergrad kind of like general, not specific, finishing my undergrad
majoring in psychology, but is taking all the science classes
that I would need for like med school or maybe

(54:04):
dietetics or something. And so I would like killed myself
last year chemistry and stuff. Yeah, I did biology, chemistry, calculus,
all of this after not being years and I got
a four point out. I want to say, well, not surprised.
Like I said, you are brilliant in so many weeks.
I think I needed to show myself that I was

(54:27):
capable of doing that. But I also, you know, I
actually podcasted with Kelsey Patel, I know she was on
your show too. She was like, well, why don't we
just turn the tables a little bit, like what's so
stressful for you right now? And I was like, I'm
putting so much pressure on myself, and I like had
this moment where I was like, I am doing this
to myself. So now I like I was telling you

(54:47):
kind of off Mike before, I'm trying to take a
step back and be like I'm going to take a
few classes this semester and then they'll take a few
then and like see what I can put together and
not be so strict. Well, congratulations on going back to school.
Not easy ever, but especially in your thirties. I'm sure
all the students are a lot younger or I would

(55:07):
have met maybe not. Well, it's hard to say because
it's all been online, which is kind of nice. I
think it's kind of a mix. But yeah, there were
definitely classes where like we would do a zoom orientation
and I'm like, I'm your mom. Well and then but
also follow me on TikTok. Actually my prime audience over there.

(55:28):
I actually you're my demo. Listen to my podcast. I
mean when I was in grad school taking those classes
or going into back to grad school, taking all those
really hard classes, that was a full time job. So
you're telling me you're doing that on top of the podcast,
on top of Instagram, on top of your blog. You
do them all amazingly because you're a I think recovering
perfectionists you call yourself. It's easy for me to say,

(55:51):
of course sitting here, but of course you're going to
end up just like completely bamboozled for lack of a
better word. By the end of it. Yeah, I did
like five classes last semester. Let's say I did four classes,
and then I did one like half semester class which
was like an intense math class um for six weeks.
So yeah, by December, I was like, well, this is

(56:12):
not sustainable, Like I cannot do this for another year,
especially if I want to focus on my career the
way I want to and say yes to opportunities that
are coming my way. So I think for me finding
the middle ground, it's so hard for me because I
am a person who works in extremes and I am
a perfectionist. I'm working on that, so I'm learning and

(56:33):
I think that's a beautiful place to be. And I'm
actually going to nix the question that I came here
with because it's about the future. It sounds like you're
doing a really good job. Just thank you. First of all,
just through recent past is just just deserves a huge
applaud where we don't need to rush into the future.
So I'll skip your future and just wait to watch
it unfold myself. Thank you. My last question is do

(56:56):
you think that everything happens for a reason? Yes? Beautiful,
just straight up Yes. We'll leave it at that. Well,
thank you Ariel so much for your time. Um, I'm
linking all of your information below. Big warning you will
binge listen to her podcast. I mean the range of topics,
the juicy guests. I like your solo episodes personally, Thank you.

(57:19):
I do recommend you start there and follow along as
Arielle takes on the world. Thank you so much for
having me. Thank you