Session 395: Finding & Sustaining Community with Yolo Akili

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, a weekly
conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small
decisions we can make to become the best possible versions
of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford,
a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

(00:32):
to find a therapist in your area, visit our website
at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you
love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is
not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with
a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

(00:57):
for joining me for session three ninety five of the
Therapy for Black Girl podcasts. We'll get right into our
conversation after a word from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Hi. My name is Yolo Achille Robinson, and I am
excited to be on Therapy for Black Girls, the podcast
with doctor Joy Harden Bradford, talking about community care, navigating conflict, discernment,
and much more.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
We're so honored to be nominated for the Outstanding Lifestyle
and Self Help Podcast category at the fifty six annual
NAACP Image Awards, but we cannot win without your support.
Please take a second to go to vote dot Naacpimage
Awards dot net and vote for Therapy for Black Girls.
Twenty twenty five is already proving to be a year

(01:48):
where community will be more important than ever, but many
may still be wondering how do I find those I
can trust and how do I maintain these relationships. Helping
us to answer these questions is writer, activists and founder
of Being the Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective Yolo Achilling.
For over twenty years, Yolo has led and designed mental

(02:09):
and emotional health workshops, experiences, support groups, and training. His
expertise includes facilitating anger management and anti violence groups with
black men and boys, HIV AIDS, case management, and peer counseling,
training community members on CDC behavioral health interventions such as
personalized cognitive counseling, teaching mental health literacy to black communities,

(02:32):
leading yoga and embodiment experiences, and healing justice centered organizing.
During our conversation, we unpack some of the many ways
that we can approach mental health practices and principles as
community members to better show up for one another and
curate the sort of support systems that we need for
ourselves if something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation.

(02:54):
Please share with us on social media using the hashtag
TBG in session or us over in the Sister Circle.
To talk more about the episode, you can join us
at community dot Therapy for Black Girls dot com. Here's
our conversation. Well, thank you so much for joining us today, Yolo.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Thank you for having me, Joyce. Always an honor to
be in your presence and just be a part of
your work. I have a lot of respect and admiration
for you and what you do with Therapy for Black Girls.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Likewise, Likewise, I'm very glad we get to chat today. So, Yolo,
we have done a lot of work together, but I
don't think I've ever actually heard you tell the founding
story of BEAM and how you got started in this work.
So can you tell me about your work with BEAM
and how it got started?

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah? Absolutely So. I guess the context of it is
that I went to undergrad Black studies and Women's studies
and that led me on a route of engaging psychology
and healing that for about ten to fifteen years I
was doing work in three different films, HIV and AIDS
work really supporting the mental health and wellness of a

(04:02):
lot of black, queer and trans folks who are living
with HIV, are navigating HIV, and then also actually working
in community violence work. I spent a great deal of
my career working with men who had been either court
mandated or church mandated to go through a behavioral and
learning process around anger and violence right. So that was

(04:22):
a big part of my work. Through that work, I
saw gaps. I saw gaps around healing, I saw gaps
around mental health. I saw how our communities, many of
the first responders, particularly in the rural South. I was
outside of Atlanta and then in Atlanta at one point,
the people who were responding they weren't always therapist and
social workers. They were have big mamas and the teachers

(04:44):
and the coaches and the pastors, and didn't always have
great skills for it right, didn't always have tools. And
so after years of witnessing that, I was like, Okay,
I want to create this thing that takes an approach
that not only helps resource people like therapists and social workers,
but also the other folks who are doing the other
kind of immediate crisis care support. And I didn't see

(05:07):
people really holding space with those folks to get better
tools to do that. Not for them to become therapists, right,
but for them to have better skills of listening, of affirming,
of knowing their limitations and their boundaries. Because in addition
to them offering crisis care a lot people who were
not trained, sometimes they were also making choices that maybe
weren't the best choices that help the people. Right. So

(05:29):
that kind of led me to want to build an
institution they could respond to that they can really center
healing and care for our folks in a way that
I think that black people will respond to or hope. So,
so that's the long version of how I got to
the moment of creating being.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, and so tell me more about the work that
you all have been doing since the founding Lord, the
work in highlights. I mean, we could be here for
every talking about all the stuff that y'all do.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
I always tell people that Beam builds ecosystems of care.
And if you think about an ecosystem, it is everything
from the water, it is in the air, it is
in the ground, it's in the land, everything, right, And
so we really fund, train and resource a network or
constellation of black healing, justice, wellness, and mental health efforts
across the United States. I'm sorry to the United States,

(06:18):
but actually we are now in Canada and in South Africa,
so it's across the world. Excuse me, I'm getting used
to that. I ain't been that fancy. I'd just been
in the hoods, so I didn't know I could go
into thatglorhood. We do that in three different ways. One
is training. We have our training programs which are designed
for anybody wherever you are. It doesn't matter if you're
a teacher, you're a parent, you're an activist. Many therapists

(06:38):
and social workers come to our trainings to get tools, skills,
and resources from a healing justice lens to support your community.
And so we have a Black mental Health and Healing
Justice program. I call it a really kind of a
radical response to the limitations of mental health first aid.
I get in trouble for that. Sometimes mental health first
aid and my experience just didn't hold the history of
why black people had the concerns that had about mental health,

(07:01):
and we created a training program that actually gave that context.
This is why, right, this is the legacy of how
mental health has been used against black people. And here's
also legacy of healing that black people have done in
the context of that. Let's hold both of those and
get people really skills and tools we think about. Here's
what you can do through your daily choices that help
cultivate wellness in the world. Here are some tools for

(07:23):
crisis support, the centered dignity. Now, you have a role
in creating healing and wellness with the community. Your role
is important as an actor wherever you are in the community.
So we have trainings like that. Our Black Masculine and
Reimagined Program, which I always say is really bell Hook's inspired.
It's a program for Black men and masculine folks to
unlearned rigid masculinity and how that has contributed to their

(07:45):
mental health and the stress in our communities, right, which
is bell Hooks coded all day. So we have our
training programs which do that piece as well as our
healing circles will happen every month, which hopefully you'll be
doing one for us soon. And then we have our
grant programs which essentially fund and reset source or network
of institutions that are doing some dynamic dope work, but
the underresource right, So Black Worness Innovation Funds, selling homeless

(08:08):
Support Fund. Our Parents Support Fund gives economic cash directly
to parents who are struggling with mental health conditions. But
those funds are really saying that we need to sustain
these efforts. And most of our grantees are like small
organizations Mom and pops doing work around supporting survivors of
gun violence, right, mom and pops doing stuff in the
churches right in the Deep South, trying to hold mental

(08:30):
health space. Those are the folks who want to make
sure they have money to do their work. And so
those are the two big components of our work, the
training and the grand making.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
So when we decided that we wanted to talk about community,
you were the first person I thought about, because I
think that you and the work that y'all do at
Being feel synonymous with community to me. Can you tell
me what you've learned about community through your work at Being?

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Oh love waiting enough time? I don't like about community? Now, well,
I've learned a lot. The first thing I learned when
we first started doing trainings in different communities, and granted,
you know, Being does trainings all across the United States.
So I've done trainings in rural Florida, Alabama. We've done

(09:14):
trainings in New York, et cetera. And one of the
first things that kind of caught my attention with their
trainings was we would ask people in community, what does
the word mental health mean to you? And the responsible
would get quite often where people would say, when I
hear mental health, I think about my cousin who got
taken away when he had an episode and he's been
in the prison system ever since. Or they would say

(09:36):
I remember my sister who is now in the system
because they said she had X y Z XYZ. Right.
And so one of the things I started learning really
quickly about community, particularly when it comes to Black folks
in mental health, was that most Black people don't experience
the prison industrial complex as separate from the mental health
industrial complex. I think some of us have these really
beautiful experiences with therapists like yourself, but a lot of

(09:59):
our folks who are and under resource communities, that is
the first connection they have with it, and so that
fuels the ways in which they feel comfortable in community
to disclose about their mental health challenges. Right, because there's
an ever pressing fear of incarceration as a possibility of
demonization of I'm living with borderline personality. I'm living with bipolar,

(10:19):
I'm living with depression, whatever that reality may be for someone, right,
And so I realized that that was a big fear
that we had to acknowledge and hold in the space.
We couldn't fix it, but we could acknowledge and say, hey,
we want to acknowledge. Yes, there are systems that sometimes
use these things against us and are also our individual actors.
I call them the black healing justice underground railroad of therapists,

(10:40):
of psychiatrists, of practitioners who are also going to help
you get these systems and take care of you. How
do we find those people elevate them? So I've learned
a lot about that with community, and that's one piece
that's really clear to me is that people are afraid
and it's legitimate from real ways on which unfortunately some
of them are toxic. Elements of this dominant system have
impacted to people around mental health.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah, I mean such important work, right, Because to your point,
I'm glad that you highlighted how synonymous it is with
prison for a lot of people, because a lot of
times you are forced into the mental health system against
your will, right, Like not all people are signing up
to go to therapy. Sometimes it is because you've been
court mandated, like you mentioned, or there are other things
that have happened that you then have an interaction with

(11:23):
a mental health professional. I hear people talk about community
a lot now, and I think, especially as we're thinking
about a new Trump presidency, there will be I think
a need to lean more into community. So in the
context of that, like people creating their personal communities and
you know, communities in their neighborhood, what does that mean

(11:43):
to you, and like, how do we get started in
creating community.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah. One of the tools we have in our Black
Mental health and hialent Justice program is called the Community
Care Map, and it's one of my favorite tools. And
we have two sides to it. One side is this
really opportunity for people to be like, let me feel
this out so people know what I need for my
own christ my own care, so that if something shifts
coming happens in the community, n't prepared right. And the

(12:09):
reason I want to talk about that is because we know,
in this particular moment, we need to be aware of
how to best support each other. And when I say
where about best support each other? The community care plan
is really splicific. It's like, tell me about your allergies,
tell me about medications you're on. Where's your doctors, what
are your children's allergies, what's your pets? In case something
happens that you need support and you cannot be able

(12:30):
to manage that for whatever reason, how do we show
up for you? Right? And so doing that and sharing
that in community builds a level of trust, right, the
people you got to discern who you're going to trust with, right,
you can share them everyone. But how are you building
community intentionally to say that? Like join me and you
say you're hypothetical men, you look close to each other.
Do you know if something goes down, how to best
support me? Do I know how to best support you?

(12:52):
How we're being thoughtful and intentional about our friendships and
our networks and saying, I need folks who actually know
what I'm going through, what's going on with me because
in this political moment, we don't know what will shift
and what will happen. Right, So I think that we
need to get really intentional and discern who those folks
are in our community, right and use those tools really thoughtfully.
So that's one piece differ me stands out, and I

(13:14):
think we've also got to engage our fear of community,
you know, our fear of being seen. I think that's
a big piece to it. I know you probably see
this also in the community cultivate, like you know, everybody,
I don't want nobody in my business. Everybody gotta be
in all your business. But sometimes in this culture of
instagram perfectionism, we're trying to always project this image that
it's not real. We're trying to like hide behind the image,
and that image becomes a prison where we cannot connect

(13:36):
authentically what people we care about. We're so afraid of
people seeing our blemishes and our flaws or the reality
is those things make us beautiful. But in order for
people to really care for us, we have to lean
into the fear of being cared for and the fear
of being seen, which a lot of us have. Right,
we got the nice pictures up, but who am I really?
I think those are big pieces I think.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
About m Can you say more about that, because you're right,
I think that that will be a very very important
thing for people to hold on to, this idea that
I want community. But am I really ready or do
I feel comfortable actually being seen by other people. So
how do you get rid of some of that fear? Like,
what does it look like to even lean into that woo?

Speaker 2 (14:15):
All right, some of it is coming up in our
trainings where we have a lot of work around conflict, right,
because this is the piece where we see a lot
of us struggling in our communities. I always say that
in my experience in our communities is that most of
us experience conflict as either a blow up or an abandonment. Right.
People often shy away from engaging the things that are uncomfortable,
the things from taking responsibility, from naming things that are

(14:38):
difficult to them. If we don't begin to cultivate more
skills and tools to relate to conflict differently, we can't
build intimacy and we can't build community. Right. But the
reality is, when somebody starts to see you, you're gonna
sometimes mess up. Somebody gonna push sugar in your grads.
It's gonna be a whole crisis. How are you going
to manage the conflict? Right? You need to have some
skills and tools and some thinking around why do I

(15:00):
show up in this way and conflict and what's the
opportunity for me to build different skills because one things
I see happening in our communities and people trying to
build community, And addition, the fear of being seen is
the fear of being quote unquote wrong or doing the
wrong thing right or being the wrong thing, and then
also the fear of somebody sees me. If there's a conflict,
I don't know how to manage it or I don't
want to manage it. So a part of what we

(15:22):
have to do is really begin to look at our
conflict history, so well, what do we learn from the
people who raised us, who around us, What do we
want to show up in when conflict shows up? How
do I learn to manage that in my body? And
how do I learn to speak my truth and not
make myself smaller when I'm in the midst of conflict,
but not denigrate other people as well. I think that
that's a big piece of community building that I see
social skills deteriorating around right, Like people just don't know

(15:44):
how to say I did not like that. And you know,
we do a lot of training in our programs around
like helping people understand when you're in conflict. A big
part of what we have to sometimes learn to do
is make a distinction between the person and the behavior,
the idea and the choice they did. Right, me, and
you are a confident might be like Yolo, it's not you,
it's a problem, but it's this behavior. You are welcome here.

(16:05):
This behavior is not. And I'm making that distinction right
and naming that explicitly the people so that like I
love you, I don't love this behavior. I don't love
these choices, and I don't like these ideas you are presenting.
And that creates a little bit greace because maybe I
can look at my behavior, you know what I mean,
I can put some salt in butter in a grace
next time, you know what I mean, I can do
a different behavior. But if you attack the core of me,

(16:28):
if Yola is a problem, if joys a problem, most
of us just go on to defense mode.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, more from our conversation after the break, But first,
a quick snippet of what's coming up next week on TVG.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
And when we talk about health or what is healthy again?
Quote unquote, we want things to happen real quick. We
don't want to think about Oh, I've been struggling for
an image sort for a decade, but I expect my
weight to change in a week, or I want my
cravings to come back in a week, even though I
haven't been having true hunger and fullness cravings for years.
So that quick fast fix, I think is ideal to people,

(17:00):
even if it comes with some real side effects.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
We're so honored to be nominated for the Outstanding Lifestyle
and Self Help Podcast category at the fifty six annual
NAACP Image Awards, but we cannot win without your support.
Please take a second to go to vote dot Naacpimage
Awards dot net and vote for Therapy for Black Girls. So, Yola,
what you're talking about is very messy, I think, right,

(17:38):
like being able to hold space for each other's humanity
in that way, right, But I think it is important
if we are looking at building intentional community, right, which
I think is going to be critical. It has always
been critical, but I think especially in this moment in history,
like us leaning into one another in this way I
think will be really important. And so another piece of

(17:58):
this community conversation I think is like accountability, which it
feels like you are talking about a little bit like
this idea that if something happens in community. What is
the accountability like, what does that look like for a
community to hold the members of the community accountable to
one another.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
And one thing I want to say about the mess,
and this I always tell people, there is a message
in your mess. Don't rush to clean it up, don't
rush to mopis Sometimes you got to look at that now,
what is that mess on the floor, Look at it,
figure out how it's stank. Yes, it's stank. You need
to smell it for a little bit. Look at it
and figure it out. Because we're so in a rush
to make sure nobody sees it that we don't actually
examine the texture of it, get clear where it came from,

(18:37):
who we inherited, from, where we learned to practice right.
So that's an important piece about mess management because it's
really not about not being messive. We all messy in
some ways, right. It's about mess management. How do you
know how to hold it right? So this piece about
accountability is really something I see happen a lot in
community and people are really in conversation about this. I
come from school of thought that really comes out of

(18:58):
the work of Miro and Kaba and many other transformative
justice practitioners. We talk about accountability as not something necessarily
I can do for someone else, but someone has to
hold themselves accountable. What I can do with someone else
is create the space for them to own and take
accountability for their actions. Now that's different from saying, here
are consequences of your actions, right, Like, we can create consequences,

(19:21):
but the accountability as an emotional experience is something that
you can only cultivate space for people to do, but
they may not be able to step into. I spent
a large part of my career working with many men
who had internalized deep patriarchy and sexism around their relationship
with women, and therefore did not always have the willingness
to take accountability for their choices and how they hurt people. Right.

(19:44):
And so even though we made their consequences, they never
took accountability because they didn't have the inner resources to
name and this own I did that I was wrong
for that, right, And so I think that we need
to recognize when we talk about this accountability conversation, there's
two dimensions that think are really important. One naming what
is happening, right, naming the behavior the things that are happening.

(20:08):
Understanding that sometimes when we're coming to people when you
name those things. They may not be prepared to take
responsibility for it. They might not have the inner psychological
emotional resources to take responsibility for We all know this.
We got a relative of our hunting that do a
certain thing. But because we see how her trauma her
stuff shows up, she can't take responsibility for says, you've
been putting raisins in the potato salad, and we know it,

(20:29):
but she can't take responsibility for it. Right, She's not
in the place to own it because of where she
is in her own psychological life. Right, But that doesn't
mean that we don't need to put some parameters up
to make sure the potato salad is safe in the future.
So that means the community we come around it and
be like, guess what, you ain't coming over this play.
You ain't coming over here and putting another play. You
don't cook in this kitchen this time. We can create
consequences if she continues the behavior, but we can't force

(20:52):
her to take responsibility if she is not psychologically prepared
and ready to do so. We can only put consequences
and name it loving and supportive. As much as we can.
That process not the survivors of it, but the people
who are outside of that process can be I think
they need to be people who are holding that space,
if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Mm hmmmmm. I want to go back to the community
Care map because I love that it is so concrete.
So you started telling us about some of the things.
Can you give us more details about what kinds of
questions we should be asking other people that we are
hoping to build intentional community with.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah, we need to be asking on our community care map,
and I'll make sure we get a tool hopfully prepare
with this. We need to be asking who are the
therapists and the wellness practitioners we trust in our city,
in our area when the crisis comes, who are you calling?
What are the emergency support services that you trust? Who
are those folks? Right? I can tell you how many
times people have come to me or told me stories

(21:44):
about someone has a medical emergency or a mental health emergency.
And then you find out things about your husband or
your partner, are your best friend that you didn't even know,
And it's like if I had known these things, I
probably would be a better prepared to support them in
that moment. Right, So we need to like have those
depth conversations. What are the in what you feel like
best resource and supported when you're in distress? What are
the needs things that calm you? What are your strategies?

(22:06):
How can I support your strategies? How can we be
in collaboration around those strategies? Right? Because it's not about
self care to me, it's about community care practices. If
I know that taking a walk every day helps my
mental health, I need to be calling joy and joy
can you take a walk with me every day? Can
we take each other in mind o the own medication,
our blood pressure medication, our mental health medication, like really
making sure people are involved in supporting us and not

(22:27):
isolating it's all on me to do with u's all
on you. I think those are the things we need
to be asking questions about. How can we be in
interconnectedness and interrelated in that way and not be so
this is my family and I got to care this
all on myself as opposed to well, hold on joy.
You and your kids are also important to me too,
you and your husband. I how do I support y'all?
How do we support each other? Which I think doesn't

(22:49):
happen a lot in our culture as much as they can.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
Well, yeah, you bring up a good point. I think
a great saveway from my next question around. So many
of us are socialized to be individualistic, right Like, we
are in a marria, and so a lot of our
teaching and a lot of the ways that we're socialized
is to take care of myself and my family, right like.
And it's fine to have friends or whatever, but not
in the way that you're talking about it, right, that
we are responsible too and for one another. What's the

(23:13):
balance there of being in a society that really stresses
individualism and wanting to build very intentional communities.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, the line, the line, the line, Well, the line
is different for different folks. Well, I think about families particularly,
and this is something that's come up a lot in
the work recently. There's this number of families who are
like the husband and the wife, they have two kids,
and they feel a lot of shame about asking support
from other parents or like other parents are going through
the same challenges. Well, and as opposed to being like,
I'm like, what would it mean for y'all to be like, hey,

(23:44):
let's trade weekends, right, y'all gonna get the kid? We
go you'll get your kids on this weekend, so y'all
get a break, and then we get the kids on
the break, get on the weekend, and then what I
see happiness bari aus to that is it. There's a
lot of internalized, particularly for mothers, a lot of internalized
misogyny because the culture shame's mothers so much around. You
should want to be the child, should be the center
of your world all the time, and you should never

(24:04):
like what and then like you got a whole husband
you try to navigate, or a whole partner you're trying
to navigate. We're thinking about how do we building intentional
practices that breaks space for us? So we're like, you
know what, every other month, every month, I got the
kids this week, can you get a kiss? And then
you and your husband and your partner get a break? Right,
that's a mental health support system, right, Like thinking about
how do we build in practices together that help each

(24:26):
other but also interrogate those ideas of shame that say
that we should be able to do it all ourselves,
which we know in a capitalist context, this world is
making it harder and harder economically for us to do that.
And there's so many practices we can do. Like I
think about in Caribbean culture, they have the lotteries where
you like to be put money in a pot and
then every month a different family against the pot. Those
are the practices we need back again, right, we need

(24:47):
those kind of wellness practices again, those kind of money practices.
And so I think about leaning into having the real
conversations about says, ain't got it. I'm struggling here. Okay,
well here's what I can do. What can you do?
You know what I mean. I'm gonna drop a cancel
role and surprise checking over on that day because I
can cook on that day. Maybe that's my jam. Maybe
that's not your jam. Maybe your jam is you can

(25:07):
do something else. You will support me. Let's start the
barter system of care system to support each other.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
The point you raise around capitalism, I think is very real,
right because I think what has happened is that I'm
thinking about like how I grew up, and I know
we both grew up in the South. I would be
at my grandmother's house, myself and all of my cousins, right,
so there wasn't ever my parents were only responsible for me,
like the whole family was responsible for all of the kids.
But I think what has happened is that people are

(25:33):
working longer hours, people are traveling further to work, So
there has been this real breakdown and like the community
kind of taking care of one another. So what creative
practices maybe can you offer for people who want to
maybe do some of this but because of long commuting
times and those kinds of things, feel really strained to
be able to practice some of this.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. One thing that I am practicing and
I'm encouraging communities I'm into practice is the language of
I will make time for what resources me. Right, Sometimes
there's this language of time scarcity. Ain't got time and
got time? It's well hold on, I make time for
the things I want to make time for. Am I
willing to commit and invest in making time for things

(26:13):
that support my long term sustainability of my wellness? Am
I making time for it? I make time to go
to the Meganisign concert. I make time to like work
on tuesdays, like you know what? But like, are you
making time to say? What are my regular ritual practices
and how am I drawing my community and intentionally for
my long term wellness? Right? Am I making the hour

(26:34):
that thirty minutes, that forty five minutes, and then we
got to switch our mind around that, right and understanding
it's an investment. So just when you invest in that
friendship and then that connection and then those collective support,
as you invest in it and you build it grows
can grow, right, And so I think that's really one
thing I want to invite people to think about and
also just honored that, like I understand the fear of

(26:55):
letting people get too close to you that many of
us have. Right, We're going to practice to as much
as we can. We're going to recognize that also sometimes
a part of the journey is that people will disappoint you,
people will let you down. You will have to teach
people how to love you and care for you and
your family. They will have to learn how to practice.
You have to ask that they are worthy of being

(27:16):
able to practice with you. Nobody's going to get it
right first time. And Buddhas and they have this idea
of the good bodies south of the courageous warrior with
the heart. Right, we have to be courageous with our
heart to know that we put our heart forward. Sometimes
it's going to get bruised and hurt. But how do
we still keep our heart open in the midst of
that holding and manny of the other person and draw

(27:36):
those boundaries as we need to. But let them practice,
right And I think that's the piece of the work
that I really want to invite us to do when
we talk about building communities each other. We got to
practice the honey, because aha'mn know you know what I mean. Joey,
you come over here and you putting sugar in migris.
I'm like, lord, joy now I'm just like I'm trying
to do it. No more. We're done, We've done it.
I don't tell her she did this and we ain't
done it, and I ain't talking and she should know.
She should. You know, wherever they're should they're shamed. Stop

(27:57):
assuming what everybody else knows, and start talking to folks
and engaging folks and give them a chance to practice
loving you and caring for you. And the more we practice,
you'll see who will show up in the practice right right,
You'll see who's committed to the practice. Who some people
gon be. Mookie might not make it, you know, Niko
might make you know who go you and find out okay.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Mm hmmm. Something you just said yo, made me think
about this idea of like, Okay, I'm gonna cut you
off now because you did this thing wrong. I think
it started well intentioned, right, Like, I think there's so
much conversation around boundaries and honoring ourselves and protecting our
piece that it is. Now it feels like it has
gone a little further than I think maybe we intended
with the conversation around at the first sign of trouble

(28:40):
or conflict, as you mentioned, now we're saying like okay,
I don't want to be in community with you anymore,
or I'm cutting you off now. What would you say
about some of the rush to kind of severtisee with
folks wo joy?

Speaker 2 (28:53):
We have to acknowledge how deeply sensitive and how hurt
we all have been by times would your experience trail time?
So much experience hurt, and I think when we acknowledge
the fullness of that, because it's a lot of pretending
that we're not sensitive that goes on.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
You know.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
I think about like sometimes hold the young people and
they'll be like, well, I don't care about nothing, And
what I actually hear when you say I don't care
about nothing is actually I care so much I actually
don't know how to hold it. Right, So I think
we got to acknowledge how deeply impacted we are by
things and also recognize that people will make mistakes when
they are caring for us. Right, how do we name

(29:30):
those things? How do we not assume what they should know?
And how do we discern that this person is worth
in the context and investment in our relationship? Right? It's
cutting people off things like this is perfectionist. It's just
like this inverted perfectionism. Right. You should know I'm cutting
them off because I ain't. It's like, well, hold on,
did they give you some feedback that you don't want
to hear that you are called with? Were they not

(29:51):
able to meet your unsustainable standards of how a man
woman person should be. Did you actually come back to
them and say, hey, this is what I experience. Okay,
experience this happening, and I want to know what you
experience and see you and see what we can get
some understanding as opposed to this happened. I made up
a story about it in my head, and I didn't
engage you about the story. I just disappeared. So my

(30:11):
trauma narrative is taking control. I got this whole story, like, well,
you know, Joy did this because jord Band had be
for me. Since Joy's like, I don't even know what
you're talking about, you know what I mean? You know,
made a whole story in your mind. Because we know
we all have myths and fairy tales we tell ourselves
on time. Me and Michael B. Jordan's been dating for years.
He don't know that Joy, that's a story. That's a story,
the story, right, and so we have to be mindful

(30:34):
of stories we tell ourselves. Our feelings are always valid,
but our stories sometimes are not fully round. They be
missing pieces. And sometimes when we've been through so much,
we have this impulse to be like, just cut it
off because I don't want that thing to happen to
happen last time, right, But sometimes it's actually not that thing.
It just felt like that thing or activated that thing.
But if we don't stay around a long enough to

(30:55):
figure out, we might miss on something really beautiful. This
happens a lot of the dating, like a lot of
so that's the work who work doing data, they're always like, well,
I just cut him off because he did this like
that da Dad. I'm like, well, hold on, did you
have a conversation with him about what he did? Did
you talk to her about what she did? Well? No,
I ain't finna talk Okay, So how do you expect
to be an intimacy and relationship if you aren't having conversation,

(31:15):
if you aren't confronting your fear around naming your truth.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
So you mentioned the term discernment several times as we've
been talking, and I think we may take for granted
that people understand like what that is, and like, how
do I know that somebody is trustworthy versus not? But
what tips and strategy maybe would you have for people around? Like,
how do you actually practice discernment?

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Lord? I've learned this through all the mens that have
dated hoidee discernment today. One thing I believe is behavior
tells the truth about what you really value. And I
cannot say that enough. It's like, we can talk about
what we value, but the behavior is going to show
me what you're value. Right. I can say all day
that I love recycling, I care about the earth. Ain't
no recyclment in my house? Girl? Well, how you where

(31:57):
the behavior? So we like, you know what I mean?
That's the behavior gonna tell the truth about what you value.
And so I think that what we need to do
is really like one spend time like listening and paying
attention to people's behavior and their context. I'm always curious
about people I'm sharing space with, like how do they
talk about other people? They talk about people with compassion
and grace, other they talk about people with shame and judgment,

(32:19):
because that'say, they gonna talk about me, right, because everybody
processing somebody? How do they show up? What is their
standard for integrity? Some people standard for integrity is more
about let me hide and get sneaky until nobody can
find me out. Some people stand up of integrity is
this don't feel right? Let me name any come to you.
You're gonna learn by watching right and understand that intimacy

(32:40):
is a slow burn. Right. It's not a quick like
you know, like our coaches like we married tomorrow. It's like, okay,
well you can do that, but it's gonna have consequences.
You're gonna circle back. Right, Intimacy can be a slow burn.
That it's like, let me watch you and see what
you say and what you do and then see how
they connect or don't connect and let me honor that like, hey,
you might be a beautiful person, but I see where
you are in your journey. Don't fit for what I

(33:01):
need in my journey, like you know, don't fit for
what I need in terms of integrity, don't fit for
what I need in terms of how you talk about people,
how you approach things. We have to watch and pay
attention and discern and trust that gut when our body
is reacting right, got trusted like m Some don't feel
right about so and so, so and so. It might
be a lovely human being who also is navigating some

(33:23):
real deep challenges with this trust because they learn to
lie to protect themselves, and so now they're lying about
a lot of things. It doesn't mean they're not human
and beautiful and powerful. It means, like where they are
in their journey might not be able to support you
where you are in yours. So a boundary needs to
be drawn. That's the club friend. Now you don't be
telling them your business. You go turn up, have a cocktail,
all right, But well, I see you later. Sometimes we get confused.

(33:44):
We try to make people global friends where they actually
fit a certain arena of our life, right, and I
think that's really an important piece of right discernment. Pay
attention to your body, how your body reacts, how your
spirit feels around them, what feelings they evote, what they do,
what they say, and make a boundary with them off
of that in terms of what they've shown you they
can hold and you know, you have that conversation with

(34:04):
them if you need to. Some people don't know it,
and I'm seeing themselves, so you have to be mindful
of that too.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
So there is I think a deep yearning for being
in community kind of like we've been talking about today.
But I think a lot of people get stuck with
like where do I even find these people to be
in community with? Am I just starting in my apartment
building in my neighborhood? Like where would you suggest people
start to kind of begin to build intentional community?

Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I think it can be different for different people.
It can build them around interests. Like you know, we
have our healing circles that happen in a monthly in
Los Angeles in Atlanta, and a lot of people come
there looking for community. Becuse of looking for people who
are also saying I'm on a healing journey. I want
to find like minds. Right, So if that's your jam,
find those folks. If you want to learn how to
play the piano, then go to a piano group of
people who do play in a piano and cultivated relationships

(34:49):
with those folks. Right, there's a lot of thing about
shared interests and shared values. Find the spaces where those
people will be reflected. I think it's really important if
you're deeply into sisterhood, right, finding a spaces about sisterhood
and like exploring that as a concept. Right, take some
time understand what are your values and things that you
like to do, and then finding people who also share
some of those things is a great place to start.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
I think more from our conversation after the break and
how do we get started with some of those maybe
more intimate conversations that you suggested, Right, what has my
history taught me about conflict? Like when in like a

(35:31):
friendship or a community building experience, do we introduce these
kinds of conversations?

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Woo? I don't know who. It's different for different folks, right,
different different folks, but you know, I mean, like I
am that person, and I'm sure what the exs they
be Like, I'm like, so tell me about how you
manage conflict, I know, how you like, you know, like
they'd be like, oh lord, Y'll come in there and
it's like, you know, look I'm getting old. I got
time job. But anyway, but I think that's another discerning
question too, about when it's the appropriate time to have

(35:58):
that conversation. Sometimes the actual situations will provide the opportunity
to learn how somebody shows up in conflict and give
you the practice of figuring it out. Because when people
intellectual say like I'm gonna tell them like it is,
and then it comes to a thing telling them like
it is right, So sometimes it's actually in the moment.
How do I show up in the moment when the
thing is happening to name this is happening and seeing
how people respond to react that is a piece. But

(36:19):
I think that like when it comes to conversations with
family and community, and I've had these conversations, this is
the intervention I get to people. I tell people when
you want to have different conversations, particularly in black communities,
I'm like, if you have meal that you like to
prepare together, if you have a place you like to
go get some off, y'all go to Popey's and get
y'all buscus. That's y'all cham. I want to invite you
to center food and nourishment and then open up a

(36:40):
conversation and see what comes there. And people are always
like WHOA. It really works because I was able to say, like, hey,
I want to talk about this thing because the food
can be a source of nourishment and support. But it's
also a ritual we have. I think it's in our
genes around coming around food for conversations that because people
are ease a little bit more then they might be
in other situations, right, And so I think being thoughtful

(37:00):
about that. But also I think the other piece too,
joy this is what I do. You have to be
clear when you're going into a situation where you're trying
to disclose something that's uncomfortable with someone that I'm sharing
this for me with the understand that I have no
control over how they may react or respond to this, right, Like,
I just need to let you know this so I
can do this for me. So it's helping me build

(37:22):
the muscle to own my boundaries, protect my peace. You
may not agree with it, you may not see it
like that way. I might have to say, hey, mom,
when you did this, it was really hurtful for me,
and I need you to understand that's how I experience you,
and it's okay if you didn't experience it like that.
It's okay if that's not your truth. This is where
it was for me and that just need you to
know that. And I love you no less, but that
behavior that hurt me. You got to center yourself in

(37:45):
that right and understand that you can't control how they
will react or respond. That you might not have this
fairy tale ending, but it's more about taking care of
yourself in that moment that that's what you need. So
those are some things that just think about in the
condext goes conversations.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
So it feels like a lot of community building and
even maybe some of the things that you have suggested,
they feel very extrovert coded, right, Are people who like
naturally put themselves out there are okay with that? What
about the introverts among us? Are people who maybe have
had some betrayals in the past and maybe feel a
little slower to warm up. What kinds of things can
they do to really get engaged in building community?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yes, come all together, Georgia, it's like it's extravert coded. Howey,
we ain't all go doing this right, right? And I
think that, like one thing I want to be important
to say is that assertiveness is not always a communication
style that we need to be using in conflict. Sometimes
passiveness is needed, sometimes passive, aggressive is needed, Sometimes aggressive
as needed. People always think everybody should be a certain

(38:42):
noitionhouln't because MC outside industry's honey, right, we need all
the complications. There are situations where the passive is a strategy.
For example, like we just talked together. Example of like
having that direct conversation. Lots of people in our family,
I'm not finna go have that conversation because that person's
gonna act as a fool. So what often to passively do
is you know, you ain't invited to the family cookout
no more. And that is the communication that's going to

(39:03):
be very clear to you that a boundary has been
crossed and now you have a choice about how you
want to do it right. It doesn't always have to
be direct, right, you know what I mean? All of
a sudden you be like, well you wasn't invited when
there's the potatoes this time?

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Right?

Speaker 2 (39:16):
Sometimes it really is okay for us to draw boundaries
when we're like we don't respond in the same way
or we don't respond as much. Right, I think that
like those kinds of styles of boundaries are disrespected sometimes
and sometimes are necessary in the context, particularly when it's
not a safety concern, right, you know what I mean?
So just want to hold confident. Management isn't always about
a serv and sometimes it is about drawing boundaries that

(39:37):
are actual disbehavioral boundaries that are just like I don't
pick up the phone when this person calls immediately. I
might call them back two hours later. Those are real
clear communication that don't have to be so confrontational in
the same way that might be introverse might not be
as comfortable with. And I think they're legit.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
So you've referenced, you know, like again the hurt that
many people have experienced as a part of community. How
do you know when it's time to maybe leave a community?
Because I think that that is real, right, Like, sometimes
you have had the difficult conversations, you've given grades, you've
done all the things, and then you realize, you know what,
this may not be the relationship for me, or may
not be the community. So what are some kind of

(40:13):
signs or questions people can ask and like, how do
you know maybe when it's time to leave a community.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
I'm always gonna start with listening to your body. What
is your body telling you when you're around them? Do
your shoulders tighten up? Do your chest get tight? After
you've given opportunities for restoration and practice? Have they leaned
in or how they pull back? What is your gut
telling you?

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Know?

Speaker 2 (40:33):
I always ask people when it comes to certain situations,
I'm like, when you think about this scenario, do you
feel tight or do you feel released? Like or when
I think about not calling them and talking to them,
I just feel like I'm like, Okay, that's your body
letting you know something has happened. Is like, when I
think about going in there and having another conversation with them,
I started swearing. I started stressing, Okay, your body's telling
you something. What is that in the context of what's happening?

(40:56):
Because there are times in which you just need to
remove yourself from situations want to shown you that they
don't have the skills, the capacity, the inner resources to
show up for you the way you have asked them
to honor that they just don't have it. Sometimes we
don't have it right and then draw your boundary accordingly.
But like getting out of that fairy tale thinking well
maybe they will and they just mean and justify the

(41:17):
baby as supposed to. Like, this is what this person
has shown me who they are. My angel has said
it to Oprah and it's one of the best courses ever.
Its like when people show you who they are the
first time, I will add this, I will have this
in if I can, my angel worshipe. So I would say,
when people show you who they are, inquire, check, double check,
and once you double check, honor that is who they are.

(41:38):
Let you don't mean this. Sometimes it's sometimes we think
we're seeing something that's actually what we're seeing through our
own lens, which is a little foggy and filter through
our trauma, and we think we see it clearly, but
we're not. So just double check and then once you
get the fog off your lens, you'd be like, girl,
that's what that was. Praise cod.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
So there's been less of conversations I think also around
I think there is one layer of community that is
these more intimate friendships and our you know, sisters, brotherhoods.
And then there is I think, like just community care,
thinking about like your neighbors and like what does that
look like. So people have talked about like getting to
know your neighbor's names, and I think that there are
lots of reasons why in your community you would want

(42:17):
to kind of know who your neighbors are, just in
terms of can we pick up each other's packages, or
like can people drops up off here for you? What
other may be small ways can people get started with
kind of building community in their local areas.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
Yeah, that's a great question. I think that it's supposed
back to what you just said, like we all have
those friends that have different roles in our lives and
different community members who have roles in our lives, right,
And so I think that like sometimes we think every
friend we meet, ridiculous adults gotta be my best friend,
gotta be really deeply tired, got the same spiritual values,
and they're like, oh no, no, no, new, new, new new.
I'm like very clear, going back to example ease earlier,

(42:52):
I know that's my club friend. We go to club,
we turned up. I know that's my friend I can
trust to watch my kids, but I can't trust that
friend to watch my kids, to hold space for me
emotionally because they ain't got it. I can't trust that
club friend to call the middle of night to help
me fix a flat tire because they ain't That girl
that's not who she is meeting people and understand they
might not be that global thing for you. There's different
parts of your life and your journey they hold. Right,

(43:14):
My gym buddy who I work a at the gym with, right,
not the same person that I call to when I'm
in trauma and distress in the middle of the night. Right,
those are different people. And so I think they're like
beginning to want to talk to people, but also to
examine these high expectations of friendship that we put on people.
Like we're in this cultural moment where everybody's the expectations
of friends and romantic relationships are that's really high. Like
you know what I mean, the rents high and soul

(43:35):
the expectations, right, you know what I mean? And like,
you know, you gotta like realistically ground around what can
people do, Like you know what you can do because
you can't be all that in them people you be
like I'm gonna be your gym buddy, we're gonna say whatever.
We're gonna live somewhere. I'm gonna holler at you tomorrow. Right,
you know, So think examining our expectations. Are they so high?
Are they human centered? Are they perfectionism coded? Which is

(43:58):
a lot of our stuff is it's like android coded.
I call it's like everybody got to be getting it
right and know none of us are like that.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
So you've offered I think lots of great insights around
what makes building community or being in community difficult. So
you talked about a fear of being seen, difficulty or
discomfort with conflict, difficulty with time management, maybe other other
things that have come up in your work and your
experience that you feel like make it difficult or act
as a barrier to building community.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, you know, I would be remiss if having an
opportunity to be on therapy for black girls. Who's a
pioneering institution environ mental health. But also like naming that, like,
you know, we got to talk about masculinity, you know
what I mean? We got to talk about gender, right.
I think about so many black women I know they
are their husband's only friend, emotional confidant, and they are

(44:47):
holding all of that, right, think about masculinity as a
barrier because so many men and not just men, but
many women and people are taught them only hold with
this one person, and I hold them to hold all
of my emotional labor right, And I feel that's one
big barrier that I see happening the create community. I'll
talk to some couples and I'm like, so does your
husband have friends? Oh, I don't got no friends. I

(45:07):
just talked to her about things. That's why. Well me
and my boys, you know, So did you talk to
your boy about when it's happened at work? And I
will talk about that. Why, Well, I don't need to
be talking about him with that. I'm just talking to
my wife about that. Well, like, why is she the
only person that's holding that. So there's a level of
fear that gender and all these different places come into
place of what does it mean to engage that and

(45:27):
share more with the men in your life or the
people other people in your life who might be friends.
So we gotta look at gender as a barrier and
encourage more men and masculine people to venture out into
the world emotionally with your colleagues and your friends and
take that labor off of so many Black women or
holding that's solo and I have unrealistic expectations of holding that. Right,
that's one piece of it too. You want to think
about it with men, it goes to engage in what

(45:48):
I call the father wound, right, because father or dad
was never an emotional nurturer. So I never learned how
to nurture and emotional spaces with men. Right. I never
learned how to do that, and I don't do that.
I don't try to do it because it's too much
of a wound. But we got to start opening that
up with gentleness and softness, engaging it because men are
really lonely. And what's happening is that men are putting

(46:08):
out that emotional labor and blame and unrealised expectations on
women because of their loneliness and their despair emotionally. It's like, bro,
you need to get in community of masculine people are
men and figure this out and stop making black women
have to do all this for you because you can't
own anything for yourself.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Now, this feels like a whole separate conversation. You're a lowe,
But do you think that that has to happen in
a community, maybe first with other men in masculine presenting folks,
or is that like a mixed gender conversation.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
You know what's interesting. We have a program called Black
masculinar Rey Imagined, and it's only for Black men and
masculine folks, people who identify and kind of move into
the world seene it's masculine. I am a big believer
that black men and masculin folks may be doing that work,
sometimes separate and sometimes in mixed gender spaces, because what
I see happen if black women get into the space,
black women start doing the labor for the men instinctively.

(47:01):
It's just really quick, like all of a sudden, Oh well,
let me help you. No, no, let him figure it out.
Let him figure it out. He got it, you know
what I mean. Because there's also there's a dynamic there
right like you know what I mean. So I do
believe that we need spaces with more Black men and
masculine folks who are thinking, thoughtful about emotionally supporting each other,
on learning patriarchy, and also believing black women from holding

(47:21):
all the emotional labor they hold in our communities, whether
it's the emotional labor raising the children, like there's a
different dynamic there, like who's going to all process with
your daughter and your son? Oh well she got it? No,
no hold up? Take you behind and their dude, like
you know what I mean? Like you know what I mean?
Or like you know, just all those pieces that men
in masking folks who don't engage that fear. And I
think when they engage that fear of being betrayed or

(47:43):
hurt by other men emotionally, it's going to free up
and create so much space for black women to not
have to hold that. And black women also have to
learn how to step back from that too, because so
many black women have been doing it for so long
tint times. I literally been in workshops where sisters will
be like, oh, I want to help them know, let
them figure it out, step up to the plate because
you on it. And also using that care to avoid

(48:04):
the fact that Sis, you need support because you've been
so busy being a caretaker. What's your care? So many
Black women who need care who are hiding behind being
the super caregivers. I'm like, Sis, but who took care
of you emotionally? Who's holding that space for you? And
I don't need nothing. And I was like, and I
don't believe that. I refuse to believe that you don't
have needs. I'm not going to engage in that misogynist

(48:26):
live that black women don't have needs, that big Mama
is okay, she don't need nothing. I don't believe that.
And so we got to start saying that as black men,
the people of all genders start saying that, actually, I
don't believe that she don't got no needs, and I'm
nothing to buy it to that. We're finna go over there,
Let's see what's up right. You need something right, And
so I think that there's all those layers that we
have to engage too for our communities to really find

(48:48):
more healing, support and more equilibrium.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
So you've offered already a beautiful affirmation. I will make
time for the things that will resource me. And I'm
gonna write that one on my wall. Are there other
affirmations that you think would be helpful for people who
are seeking or in the process of building community?

Speaker 2 (49:04):
That one of my time is huge, right. I think
the other piece one that I've been saying to people
lately that has really been interesting. People have resonated with
it is that who am I to believe that I
am not worthy of the care and love I give
to others, you know? Or why do I think I'm
not worthy of the same care and love I give
to others a lot of caretakers. I was just in
Montreal working with some caretakers and I had them do

(49:26):
any affirmation, and the affirmation was, my care is not
an afterthought. They have to repeat after it. My care
is not an afterthought. My healing does not come last.
I will not disrespect my ancestors by demeaning the care
work that I give to the world. Right and so
like those are call and repeat affirmations because I think
that we have to speak to ourselves that truth that

(49:47):
your care is not an afterthought, you don't come last.
That's not acceptable, and that it's disrespectful to the sacred
work we do, particularly talking about healers and wellness folks,
or any kind of nurturing care, family work. It's just
suspectful to think that that work is not worthy of care,
that your body and your spirit is not worthy of care.
So I want to invite people to think about that,
to think about how arrogant it is to assume that

(50:09):
you are above needing care. That's roan, that's so arrogance,
Like you above it? Really you above it? Who are you?
You are above that humanity? You're not a human? What
does that mean? And so just encouraging folks who are
listening to think about that. We all need care, we
all need community. Community is messy, life is messy. If

(50:30):
we lean into the mess and find our flow, we
can manage it and smooth through it if we find
our folks. But if we try to make the mess
all by ourselves, it's lonely, it's sad, it's hard out
of here. So we need each other. So and just
remembering that we all have the power to heal. We
all have the power to learn new skills, learn new behaviors,

(50:51):
unlearned things. Just because your mom and your day to
dayd don't mean that's the right way to do it. Now.
Everything that is gentle and loving as a practice behaviorally
go to do with whiteness. I hate people say its
all time, not so white. I'm like, just so we'll
have a reminder. White people culturally have destroyed most of
the planets, Okay, I have literally there is nothing soft

(51:12):
about white violence, capitalism, structurally like land missiles, like there's nothing.
I don't know why y'all make that equification when we
say we want to do care for our folks, like,
oh I feel so white. I was like, does it?
Because that's not this says a different story, you know.
I want to get honest about it. So just really
understanding practicing softness.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
And care of these Thank you so much for that, yoo,
I really appreciate that. So where can people stay connected
with you? And I believe can we download the community
care map from the beam website.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
You sure can. So if you go Beam dot community
across the front tap you see wellness tools and there
are a lot of downloadable tools, toolkits, framing for how
you can have conversations, framing for how to engaged a
wellness our therapist practitioner, a lot of the stuff you
can find there. Can also follow us at underscore beam
org on Instagram. We do a lot on Instagram, but

(52:04):
our website is ww dot bem dot community, so it's
a dot community, not a dot com, and that's intentional
because we want to build community. And you can follow
me at Yoloachille dot com. I'm pretty sure I'm one
person with that funny name, So y'all gonna find me
while eloakil beautiful.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
We'll be sure to include all of that in the
show notes. Thank you so much for spending some time
with me today, Yolo.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
Thank you Jorce so much for all you do and
for just what you're created from all of us.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
I'm so glad Yola was able to join me for
this conversation. To learn more about their work with Beam,
be sure to visit Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash
session three ninety five, and don't forget to text this
episode to two of your girls right now and tell
them to check it out. If you're looking for a
therapist in your area, visit our therapist directory at Therapy
for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And if you want

(52:56):
to continue digging into this topic or just being community
with other sisters, come on over and join us in
the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet
designed just for black women. You can join us at
community dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. This episode was
produced by Elise Ellis and Tyree Rush. Editing was done
by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me

(53:17):
again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation
with you all real soon. Take good care,

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Host

Dr. Joy Harden Bradford

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Session 395: Finding & Sustaining Community with Yolo Akili