February 5, 2025 • 41 mins
I’m excited to bring you a conversation today with a very special guest, someone who is known for her bold voice, her authenticity, and her commitment to empowering others.You may know her from her work as a media personality, podcaster, and all-around cultural commentator. Joining me today is the one and only, Scottie Beam.Scottie is not only a powerhouse on the mic, but she’s also a trailblazer for a younger generation of women in media, especially when it comes to destigmatizing the conversations surrounding self-care. Whether she’s sharing insights on her new YouTube series, “Hi, I’m Uninspired” or just being her unapologetically real self on social media, Scottie has a way of making people feel seen, heard, and understood.
Today, we're diving into a conversation about self-love, mental wellness, and how we navigate the intersections of identity and mental health, especially in the fast-paced world we live in today.
About the Podcast
The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
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Where to Find Scottie
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly
conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small
decisions we can make to become the best possible versions
of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy Hard and Bradford,
a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or
(00:32):
to find a therapist in your area, visit our website
at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you
love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is
not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with
a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much
(00:57):
for joining me for session three ninety seven of Therapy
for Black Girls podcast. We'll get right into our conversation
after a word from our sponsors. Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm Scottie Beam and I am finally on the Therapy
for a Black Girls podcast today unpacking my career and
evolution as a media personality.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
We're so honored to be nominated for the Outstanding Lifestyle
and Self Help Podcast category at the fifty six annual
NAACP Image Awards, but we cannot win without your support.
Please take a second to go to vote dot NAACP
Image Awards dot net and vote for therapy for Black Girls.
(01:44):
I'm excited to bring you a conversation today with a
very special guest, someone who's known for her bold voice, authenticity,
and her commitment to empowering others. You may know her
from her work as a media personality, podcaster and all
around call commentator. Joining me today is the one and
only Scotty Beam. Scotti is not only a powerhouse on
(02:07):
the mic, but she's also a trail laser for a
younger generation of women in media, especially when it comes
to destigmatizing the conversation surrounding self care. Whether she's sharing
insights on her new YouTube series, Hi, I'm Uninspired, or
just being her unapologetically real self on social media, Scotty
(02:27):
has a way of making people feel seen, heard and understood. Today,
we'll be diving into some powerful conversations around self love,
mental wellness, and how we navigate the intersections of identity
and mental health, especially in the fast paced world we
live in today. Scotty's perspective is both refreshing and necessary,
(02:48):
and I can't wait for you to check it out.
If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please
share with us on social media using the hashtag TVG
in session. Here's our conversation. So, Scotti, I am so
glad that you were able to join us. Thank you
so much for being here today.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Of course, what doctor Joy therapy for black girls? Are
you kidding me? I've been waiting for this invite my
whole life.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
When we use the day has arrived, Scotty. You know,
like we talked about you at one of our faiths,
so we're very excited to chat with you. But you
have definitely made a name for yourself in media. You
are a host, producer personality. Can you talk about like
the first time you remember that media might actually be
a viable career for you.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yes. I fought it for a long time because my
mom is a radio personality, so I didn't want to
be Sheila's daughter the radio personality too. I wanted to
try to make a name for myself. But finally, when
I was digital producing for Ebro and Angie Martinez, I
was like, I'm not even want to talk a lot something.
(03:56):
I think I might have a scale here. I should
probably hone in. And then this was the early times.
That sound crazy, but there was early times when influencers
wasn't even a thing. It wasn't something that had financial
gain at the time. So I just created a community
through my Instagram, just talking to people and interacting and
(04:16):
connecting and laughing and all those things. I've been on
Twitter since nine, so I was probably one of the
founding members of Twitter. But after that, when I built
the community and I was getting invited to all these
events and also getting really good at radio, I was like,
maybe I am okay at this, Maybe I should look
(04:36):
into this, And that's when I started, probably around twenty
five twenty six. Yeah, yeah, So, I mean you mentioned it,
but your mother is the legendary you sail us god,
and you said you ran from them for a while,
So tell me what was the process, Like, why were
you so afraid to step into that. My mother is
a legend. She is perfect at what she does, like flawless,
(04:59):
and I'd never I thought I had that in me.
I never thought that I could be as good as her,
and I didn't want her to be disappointed in me
yet again because also I had dropped out of school,
so already I had disappointed her. And I just felt
like if I pursued the same thing that she does,
I just was never gonna be as good, and I
(05:21):
still don't feel as good. You know what I'm saying
because my mom has been doing this since she was eighteen.
It's been a long journey for her. I just didn't
want to disappoint, and I run away when I don't
want to disappoint things. I spent a lot of time
just holding back and not actually pursuing anything because I
just didn't know what I could be good at. But eventually,
(05:43):
you know, with validation from my friends, my mom, who
is like a perfectionist, she'll let me do a break
like twelve thousand times before she thinks I got it right.
And I love doing that because I like to practice.
I used to hate doing it outright, but I love
preparing love it. So yeah, that's what I used to do.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And so how would you say having that mentorship from
your mom has really helped propel this next stage of
your career.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I don't think I could be as good or feel
as good about what I do without my mom's mentorship.
Without my mom's mentorship, I don't know where I would be.
Because when I dropped out, I feel like both of
us had to disconnect. And we're very close everybody knows
we are closer and close, but I feel like during
that time and period, it just felt like she didn't
(06:33):
know what I wanted to do. I didn't know what
I wanted to do, and it was a very touchy subject.
So when we passed that phase, she just tried to
help me any way she can. And also she didn't
understand the landscape of the internet at the time, So
explaining to her that I was like, they're paying me
money to post this skincare product. She's like, huh the
(06:56):
hell are you talking about. So having to explained that
and her finally learning to let go and being like,
this girl's gonna do what she wants to do. She's
going to do what she wants to do. I don't
understand it, but I pray for her and things will
work out, because things do work out when I focus,
(07:16):
and she knew I was very focused on trying to
prove her right. So yeah, mm hm.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So you mentioned this stage of your career really popping
with the influencer content creator kind of error, and I
think a lot of people are often given the advice
of like toning down their personalities to be able to
secure different opportunities but it feels like it has very
much been the opposite for you. So what advice would
you give to people who are, you know, wanting to
(07:42):
maybe get into this space and are worried about having
to be a different version of themselves.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I do believe that a lot of us listen to
the voices of people that don't even deserve you. A
lot of us hold these thoughts from outside world where
are on Instagram or Twitter, and you try to compare
with other people, so you're saying, oh, they like when
there are no emotions. They like when you're not as passionate.
(08:09):
You get less grief when you're less passionate, or you
don't talk about things, or you keep it really surface level.
But I just don't really understand how you can keep
that up for the rest of your career. I don't
know how that works, and God bless people that do.
But my mouth stay open. I cannot hold I can't.
(08:30):
I have to say something, and I want my community
to get to know me and feel like, hey, I
trust the words that this woman is saying because I'm
not perfect, that's for sure. And I've grown through the
Internet and they've grown with me. Some of these people
the supporters have been watching me since I was like
(08:52):
twenty three maybe twenty four. I just don't know how
you can be anyone else but yourself untiltality. Now, I'm
not saying overshare to the point of no return, because
I do that as well, But it's all in what
you're comfortable with, but also all in what you want
surrounding you. Who do you want surrounding you. Who do
(09:15):
you want to have your back? Who do you want
to cover you when you can't cover yourself? And I
feel like my community and my people that follow me
and not the hate followers, because you've got those two
everybody got those, but the actual supporters, they gonna rib
with you regardless, They're gonna rob with you for regardless.
They know my heart.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
So yeah, m hm. So I'm glad that you mentioned that.
I think one of the things that I am most
impressed with by you, Scotty, and just like super proud of,
is that you are authentically who you are, and you
share so much of your journey right like in ways
that I feel like, oh my gosh, like this is
very bold, the way she lives her life so out loud, right,
(09:57):
And so I do think though and I've seen this
right because I am one of your faithful followers. The
way that how you've shared has opened you up to
critique and criticism, and so I'm curious to know how
you manage your mental health being a super visible black
woman and sharing in the ways that you do.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
My heart used to break whenever like I guess I
was on the wrong side of history or people felt
like I was on the wrong side of history, especially
when it's coming to like defending black women. There's a
whole gang of people that will fight you on just
supporting and being behind, beside and in front of black women.
I used to take that very personal, and I used
(10:36):
to be very passionate about it and really beat myself
up for anybody's perception of me or whatever their opinion was.
But I just recently said on like Instagram that I
started a journey about two years ago where I was
going to focus on not being a prisoner of somebody
(10:57):
else's acceptance. I'm still finding it, but I feel like
I've learned enough to know that outside noise gets quieter,
and your willingness to actually focus on what it is
that you're good at and your talents and yourself as
a person gets louder. Everything gets louder, and you start
(11:19):
to hone in on you and less of what they're
saying and their opinion of you and how much they
hate you or whatever it is. It's not important for
me to explain myself. I'm thirty three years old. I
am not explaining myself anymore. Also, online, you got to
think of the cycle. We usually see people get mad
as one person and there's a news cycle that happens,
(11:42):
and then we forget all about who he was mad at.
So then we forget about what we were yelling at
them about, and we got to yell at somebody else.
It's always just the finger pointing, and every four years
somebody would crash out about me for a while and
crash out four years later, crash out again. Also used
to the cycle. I can't take this so personally all
(12:02):
the time. Also, I'm taking off years of my life
doing that where I'm worried about user three three two
four seven zero dog face bunny, I'm not doing that
no more, and I'm way happier for it. I'm way
happier for it.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
And what do you think really helps you to get
to that place? Because I think a lot of the
advice it gives to people when they struggle with this,
like social media boundaries, is take time off and protect
your boundaries. But I think that's really hard. What this
is your business, So what kinds of things have helped
you to get to this place where you are less
sensitive to that?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Maybe well, I'm mentally just very strong sometimes. But also
I had to acknowledge that I fought over the thought
that I was a people pleaser. That was the first thing.
I didn't acknowledge that at all. I didn't think I
was until I started to actually realize that I have
a lot of anxiety. Or I monitor my heart rate
(12:54):
whenever like somebody is dissatisfied or like unsatisfied with something,
and if there's an issue, my heart starts to raise.
Or I constantly think like this is unrelated. But I
was talking about my birthday and I had a real
problem telling my friends and family that I was going
to do it alone. It's my choice. I wanted to
do it, but I didn't want to disappoint my friends
(13:16):
and family, especially my mom. So when I noticed a
lot of things like that my hands start to sweat,
That's when I realized, Okay, I might be a people pleaser,
so I have to fix that. So I went to
therapy and I would tell my doctor about it because
I didn't understand how to fix that. So what I
would have to do was shut down for a little bit. Now,
(13:37):
I can't shut down internet all day. I can't do that.
I can't do that in no way. I don't know
how people do it. But I give myself a time
limit and then I put the phone down. I got
to read a book. I gotta do something. So that's
what I decided to do. And also journal, make these
(13:58):
video journals now where I'm talking to myself and I'm
listening to old voice memos where I'm talking to myself
all the time. I talk to myself every day. So
that's how I get through it. That's how I try
to figure out how and what's the best way. And
also healthy practices can change, so I'm open minded to
new ways of how this may work for me. And
(14:18):
so yeah, that's how I try to do it. I'm
not perfect, but I try. I try to do it
the most healthy way.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I imagine more for my conversation after the break, So Scotty,
I wonder if you could also talk about how you
manage the pressure to be on Do you feel that
like when you meet your followers in person or if
(14:49):
you are at a big speaking engagement and people have
this expectation of who Scottie is? How do you manage
that pressure.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
It's never an issue for me. It's never be an
issue for me because I've always been myself. So what
you see on Instagram is what you're gonna see in
real life. I think some people see me in certain
mediums and think I'm very serious until they meet me
and they're like, oh, this girl is severely unseerious all
the time. And also I love talking to supporters. Sylvia
(15:16):
will tell you she hates go with replaces because I'm
gonna stop for everybody. We're gonna have a conversation, we're
gonna hug. I've never had an issue. I think the
only time where I learned about disassociation is when my
grandma passed. I was in London doing a show, and
like the way that I shut off from what happened,
(15:39):
like I didn't do it in remembrance of her, I
did it as in like I ignored everything that was
happening totally forgot, tried to drop everything without feeling things,
and I think that kept going for a while past
the live show. Just to get through I used to
just not think about my grandma or my best friend.
You know, one of my friend he passed away. But
(16:01):
I've also learned that I can also feel through things
and also do the best that I can with working,
and so far, I've just never been the person to
be super sad when it comes to meeting people. This
is some people please the thing, but I never want
people to say, mescotti bean, what a bitch. I don't
want it. I hear the stories, I don't want it,
(16:23):
and I just don't want to make somebody feel like that,
especially when you've supported me and listen to me and
able to keep an open mind with who I am.
I never want to give you the idea that I
am something else, because I am a joyful person and
very very grateful.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
So you mentioned Sylvia Obeil, who you host the Silvia
and Scotti Show with. You all have been podcast hosts
of Okay Now Listen, and so podcasting has been like
the latest foray in two mediums for you. You've done radio,
You've done lots of different things. Can you tell me
what you've learned that maybe is different about the podcast
space than maybe some of the other places you've worked.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well, you definitely get to talk long gir own podcast.
You know them breaks are probably twenty five seconds in below.
But I think the topics are the same. Nobody's expanding
the topic choices. Either you've got five hundred dollar dates
and whatever the men have an issue with with women.
(17:21):
I really do want to defund mics when it comes
to men talking on the microphone for podcasts. But it's
that it's either relationship stuff or it's either being completely
mean to like people, no good opinions anywhere. And so
I'm also searching right now, and that's trying to find
(17:41):
the joy and things and also stop numbing myself from
all that is happening. I feel like so much stuff
is happening and I feel nothing. Whenever the news comes,
I'm like, that's crazy, and then I move on. Then
people run to the mics without even carefully or thoughtfully
processing or working to give your audience something to listen
(18:04):
to and think about. Nobody wants to do that. They
just want to crazy headline. They want to say crazy
things in order to get listenership, and that's not how
it used to be. That's not how podcasting used to be.
But outside of that, I think I've only done radio podcasting, hosting,
hate hosting. Not really a big fan.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
What makes you hate it?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Before I get onto mic, I get insane anxiety. I
haven't broken down what that is. But especially when I
was diagnosed with ADHD and also dyslexia, it thankfully put
a name to a lot of things that I was experiencing,
but also it took away a lot of my confidence. Unfortunately,
you have this rhetoric in your head where you have
(18:46):
dyslexia and you're not supposed to be smart. It's a
learning disability, so in your mind you're like, oh my god,
this whole time I'm walking through the world and probably
people think I'm crazy. You know, I felt like I
probably shouldn't be speaking anymore, especially in public. It's something
that I really have a hard time doing because I
never want to say something wrong, and I rarely do.
(19:08):
That's what my therapist was saying. She was like, tell
me the times where you said anything wrong. And I
was like, but it can happen. She was like, no,
you're thinking of what could happen because this diagnosis, you
don't know much about it. You've learned about it a
little bit, but you don't know what it's going to
feel like. Now you put a name to it, and
now you can actually figure out what's going on. But
(19:31):
that shouldn't be a protective thing. You shouldn't try to
protect yourself from what you used to enjoy doing. Now
not so much. But I used to really do it.
I used to love hosting festivals and things like that.
But now when I get the opportunity, unfortunately I say
no all the time.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
That's so interesting. I mean, I guess podcasting is different
in that it's typically not live, and so if you
mess something up, you can go back and change it.
But you do such an excellent job of having conversations.
It's when i've seen you, like interview or and stuff,
I'm like, oh, she's unnatural at this, Like she does
really good. But it sounds like the editing pieces would
make you maybe more comfortable to do that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Yeah, Like I can write things down, I don't necessarily
need anything in my hand if I practice it as
much as I can. But when it's live and they're
like Hey, Scotty, can you say this this, this and
this and this and this and this and this and
this and this and this. Feel like where's the copy?
Where's the script? Oh no, there's no copy of script.
I'm not gonna remember that. I can't do it. So
(20:30):
it's hard for me. Yeah, but I'm still working on it.
I'm still practicing. I practice every Saturday and every Tuesday.
Try to talk live, not on IG live, but try
to do things without stopping, talk about topics without stopping
or without really overthinking what it is and I'm talking about.
(20:53):
But podcasts, I can write out my script and keep
it there, but I only use it for bullet points.
Somehow cannot do that on stage. It's a process and
I gotta acknowledge that eventually I'll get there. I just
have to take my time with feeling comfortable again on
the stage.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
So yeah, I got it.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I'm doing my best. What I got.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Will stay tuned as the journey evolves. So you've done
these different media places. Is there any area of media
that you haven't done that you're looking forward to maybe exploring.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I have never done anything about myself as far as
any series, and that is my dream I've started doing
Black Girl podcasts with four other members, and then I
did a Gimlet podcast about rebox sneakers back then, but
it was by myself, and also it was with gimblin it.
Just as far as creativity, they were putting input. I
(21:46):
want to do something that is solely on me, where
I am the producer, I'm the creative, and I am
the talent and see how that looks. I've never had
the time or had the confidence to actually put my
myself first when it came to anything that I enjoy.
When podcast is stuff, so that's my thing, Like, that's
(22:08):
the next thing I want to do. I want to
try to maybe prove to myself that I could do
things alone. I could do things with just me and
I don't necessarily need a person around me, even though
me and Sylvia, you know, that's my best friend, but
sometimes I think she has her writing, she has everything
(22:28):
on that side, not regarding me, but she has everything.
I'm trying to find where I need to be if
I'm doing things alone and with my opinions and my
opinions only, especially when we're talking about music. That's what
I want to try to zero in on. The music
piece and doing things dolo.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Yeah, yeah, I mean you have definitely been one of
the most outspoken I think in trusted voices. When I
think about black women in the hip hop space, can
you talk a little bit about navigating that space that
I think so many of us love but that isn't
often very behind and maybe affirming to black women. What
has that been like?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Hell? It has been? Hell, it was hell, Doctor Joyce.
I will never tried to make it sound like it
was so joyful and amazing. I think I've had some
great musical experiences and conversations, But unfortunately with society, they
have this idea that women has a limit to their
hip hop knowledge, like we can't know anything about battle rap,
(23:27):
we can't know anything about independent artists who women wouldn't
listen to generally. So they put you through these tests
and quizzes and ask you several questions about what's the
track list for who? What year did nas do this?
They are on your ass. I've over prepared for hip
(23:49):
hop at any time. I don't think we'll ever get
to a space where it'll be just women talking about
hip hop and not women in hip hop. I'm talking
about just hip hop period. If I want to talk
about a female rapper, I will, but I want to
talk about all hip hop everything that I listened to,
(24:10):
and so it wasn't easy. It's not easy, and it
made me stop for a while because when I saw
how grotesque and nasty that area was, I was like,
it's getting on me, Like I could feel it on me.
And I wanted to talk about different things, and I do.
I have the variety and the range to talk about
many things. So I started doing that. Not that I
(24:33):
was scared from the hip hop. It just was so
negative at times that you can't help being negative back
and argue with people and be nasty to people and
curse people out and do all this and one thing
about me, I'm gonna curse somebody out. So I was
just doing it a little too much. I felt like
it was just too much, and I know I had
(24:53):
other potential to tap and that's what I wanted to
start doing back then. But now I want to get
back into music, talking about music, but make it safer
and have more variety of what we are talking about,
because how we're talking about music these days has my
mind spinning sometimes. The way that people aren't careful about
(25:17):
something that we love so much, and some of us
were saved by it, which is music is mind blowing
to me. And so we've gotten so far from the plot.
I don't even know where the plot is. I'm ready
to start talking about things that matter to me and
have the supporters that also think the same.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
How do you think the genre and the culture can
create spaces that are more like affirming of black women
in the space.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Create another space? Because YouTube is highly negative, TikTok can
get negative, any social medium can get extremely negative. But
I feel like if you have the heart and the
mind to do it, you will figure out how to
quiet the noise and focus on the people who actually
(26:02):
care about what you're saying. I think it's impossible to
keep out all the negativity, but there is a way
to turn your back to it and just focus on
the people who are positive and actually listening to your
opinions and perspective with an open mind. And that's what
you just have to do. That's what I realized that
I had to do, even though people were screaming at
(26:25):
me for certain things I said about hip hop or
whatever it is, I just have to turn my back.
I just think about mentally turning my back and focusing
on the people who are actually having the conversation instead
of be ying at me and telling me to get
back in the kitchen, and you know, doing all these things,
saying all this shit that don't matter truly and not
(26:46):
even related to hip hop. It's just misogyny and patriarchy,
that's all that is. So I'm just gonna put you
behind me and focus on the people who are actually
focused on me. So that's the best thing you could
do during these times. I've seen some really crazy things
these days, and I'm like, the people are suffering.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You are very much in a season of scratching off
things off your bucket list and doing all the things
of your wildest dreams. So you just had a huge,
gorgeous billboard in New York. So tell me about that
process and what it's like to see your face on
a fees that large.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
It was surreal. Seven years ago, probably sixty years ago,
I used to manifest it a lot like I just
want my own. Now. I've had other billboards, and I've
been equally as excited about all of them. But just
like I was saying to you about the podcast, I
wanted to know if I was actually good enough to
be by myself on a goillboard. So I used to
(27:42):
really focus on it, but that this time around, I
think I didn't need it, and that made it even
more special. I think when you over obsessed about certain
things and you make it your personality and you want
to be defined by these things, it's impossible to enjoy
the rest of your life when it's not happening. I'm
an obsessor. I would obsess over things that I need
(28:03):
to do or things that I want in life, and
if it's not happening, everything else is shitty. It's terrible.
I don't want to do any of this unless this
is happening for me, and so I had to learn
how to love the joys of life without my career.
And that's what I've been doing so far. And when
it happened, I wasn't expecting it to happen. They didn't
(28:25):
tell us. There was nobody that told us that we
were on a billboard and we were gonna do this
shoot for a billboard. The person that shot it is
actually one of my very close friends. Raven Ravb is
what the girls call her. But I trusted her with
the shots and everything. It came out great. He posted
it on our socials moved on nice. Then Nigel Sylvester,
(28:47):
who is the creative behind the whole shoot, had posted
it and then he sent it to me and he
was like, yo, we're on a billboard. I screamed, and
I was shooting something else and I was like what
we I think God was trying to teach me a
lesson where he was like, listen, I got it. You
just need to do the work. You just need to
enjoy your life, be grateful for the things that you
(29:09):
do have, and eventually it will come to fruition, but
you have to give it time and enjoy stuff. You
just think everything's terrible because things aren't working out the
way that they should work out. But he's like, little
do you know that it's my plan, not yours, So
enjoy to ride and trust me, it'll definitely be a
(29:31):
ride of your life. So I am very very proud
of that, and my mom seeing it it just yeah,
stop for I start crying, doctor joy. But it was amazing.
It was amazing. You know, I'm anna cry immediately. I
will cry. It was a blessing. It was a blessing.
It was the greatest feeling ever.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Y is so I love that you share so much
of that with your community. It feels like we are
kind of along the ride with you. One of the
other things that you share very often is your shoe collection.
So many of your followers know that you are a
big sneaker here, so talk to us about the process
of cultivating a collection and why that's important.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
My whole life, I have been into sneakers since I
was probably like seven or eight. I was really big
into comfort and streetwear, and I grew up in New York.
Then I moved to Jersey when I was fourteen thirteen fourteen,
and that just never left me. I enjoy it so much.
(30:29):
And it's also not something that I'm like, I'm collecting
so I could make money from these shoes. Like it's
never had a monetary gain to me. It's never been
something that I needed so that cloud and I could
have some cloud in this area, make people believe that
into what they're into or whatever it is. I've been
doing this my whole life. My whole entire life, I've
(30:50):
been collecting. And also I don't collect the big, hard
hitting things. I collect what I like, like even if
it's a sneaker that won't ever sell out, I don't
care to buy it. If I like it, I'm gonna
wear it. I'm looking at my clathure right now. It
makes me so happy. I love sneakers. I hate heels,
hate them, send them back. But when it comes to
(31:12):
getting dressed and picking from my collection and being able
to look at all the stuff that I've bought or
got sent acceded to, it's amazing to see people also
realizing that I'm very invested into the sneaker community and
I don't need to die from it. It's something I
truly enjoy it. Not everything that you do has to
be monetized and never monetized off of sneakers. Even though
(31:36):
people are like, I understand you, I hear you, but
there needs to be more women interested in sneakers in
the sneaker space. Even though it's very hard for black women,
especially darker brown black women, to even touch or get
near a shoe or modeling for a shoe. It's impossible.
(31:57):
Sometimes you don't see a lot of that at all,
But much respect to all the black girls that do it.
So I try to support any black woman that has
put out a shoe I have bought because you want
to keep it going where they feel like we have
an audience and where we do show up for each
other when it comes to sneakers, because if we don't,
(32:18):
they will definitely be like to the back, we don't
care anymore. So yeah, it's just very important to make
sure that you show up for these girls and even
a WNBA starting to get their own shoes a little
bit more. I've bought every shoe. Asia Wilson has a
shoe somewhere around here, but bought it. Don't play a
lick of basketball, and it's a real basketball sneaker. I
(32:40):
will never break my angle in the shoe, but I
just need to have it. I just need to support
I don't care. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
More from our conversation after the break. So what media
is really pulling your attention these days? Scotti? What are
you watching in terms of maybe video podcast listening to
with podcasts, newsletters? What's really like, Oh I got to
(33:10):
see the next episode of this or pay attention to
these episodes? Well, my close friend Gia Pepper's I used
to do a black girl podcast with.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
She has the Healed podcast. I think that's an amazing part.
Gia is an incredible interviewer, So anything that she puts
out I watch for inspiration purposes and also just to
listen to a conversation that helps and not hurts. So
I like that one therapy for Black girls for sure,
Doctor do. I really don't have anywhere I turn, I'm
(33:41):
like god D, it's always something crazy and no introspection.
It's just, oh, what happened in media and we're talking
about this one person. We don't know much, we didn't
even research, but we just gonna talk about it because
no matter how ignorant we get, people will listen. Because
it's ignorant. It's something that can either make you disgusted,
(34:02):
react or laugh and sometimes just tired. I'm just tired
of it. I'm exhausted. So what I've been doing is
watching people produce. I know it sounds crazy. I watch
people produce music on YouTube. That's my thing. Yeah, I
love to watch producing processes when it comes to making
(34:25):
some of my favorite songs, you know. I like to
watch Ryan Leslie a lot produce, El Varner d Mile
who is a producer for Bruno, Mars and Lucky Day,
and a slew of other people. Her I love to
watch those things. I love watching people create. I think
it helps with my inspiration or the push to actually
(34:47):
do better with my creative process. And I like some shows.
I'll be watching guilty pleasure shows all the time. That's
how I get down. But when it comes to podcasting,
I just feel like there should be a little test,
just a little record environment where everybody should meet to
pass in order to do it. And although everything ain't
for everybody, and there's some things that people have that
(35:09):
I won't ever get, but I feel like even the
girls that have gaming, they are doing amazing. They are
still adding introspection and being able to talk about it
at a higher level. And I feel like for most women,
we have to be prepared all the time. You have
to be over prepared for what you talk about, especially
(35:30):
if it makes it on the internet, on Twitter or
wherever you are. So I feel like they have break podcasts.
There are women with the Library podcast they talk about books.
The girls are doing it everywhere, But sometimes I don't
want to listen about a book for about an hour.
You know, I can just read the book and we
can move on. Not really a big book club girl
(35:53):
and gaming, I'm terrible at so usually the music podcasts
with women I have to do better with trying to
figure out who actually because I'm just so uninspired with
a lot of the talk and rhetoric on music. I'm
just like, I don't even try at this point. I
just feel like, oh, no, where that's going? Never mind? Yeah,
so I don't. I watch my little TV, I listen
(36:16):
to music, and I read a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
So I feel like we will be missing a huge
opportunity if we did not find out who you have
on repeat right now? So what music are you currently
listening to? Any hidden gems that you want to put
on the map for us?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Well, First of all, Doci Dochi's will not release me,
father God. It really refuses to let go of my neck.
I mean from the first to the last, I have
played it over and over again. It's perfect for anything.
If you need to get motivated, great, if you need
to do something in the gym, amazing, If you feel
(36:53):
like you need to dress your best and feel like
you love the skin that you're in do gi' she
is exactly who I've been waiting for in this industry
as far as music is concerned, because I felt like
it was getting formulated. It was like, you gotta do this,
you gotta be like this, you have to be this
type of persona, and that's it, and the girls will
(37:15):
eat it up. And I get the girls eating it up,
but I'm like, babe, we need something else. We gotta
have something different. Not all of us are this way,
and not all of us really care to be that way.
But I appreciate it. And also I love that other
women are feeling seen in that way. But where do
I feel seen? Especially when talking about my love for
traditional hip hop, I'm still get off my lawn kind
(37:38):
of girl. I need this to go in the direction
of Oh, I need an actual skill set. I need
to actually rap. I need to get better with how
I flow in my cadence. I need to do better
these people who work on live performances, that's a lost cause.
Some of the people are just women and men just
(37:59):
sitting on the mic singing the songs like we in
karaoke and they playing the whole damn track and we
just singing along. What's the point of me comment? Are
you performing? Are you entertaining? Even performing with a track.
I'm never gonna come to your concert ever again. You
can definitely believe that you won't see me. But though
she really is that for me, I'm so excited. And
(38:20):
also Scarlet, I know, I hear y'all. I know the
girls of like it's good, but it taps into also
a different type of woman, and I enjoy them too.
I used to be that girl, very aggressive, very you know,
I'll punch you in your face music. I also think
that needs to be in hip hop as well, so
(38:43):
love her for that. Really hope that she gets managed
better and picks better songs. But that's what I look
forward to with her. No worries and Anderson Park I
love them too. They're a great combination producer singer combo
that I really do enjoy. And I'm listening to Cevie
Wonder a lot. I understand he didn't come out with anything,
(39:05):
but I'd love to study our legends and listen to
every damn album that they've come out with. I do
that often, and I have a notebook of me writing
most facts about them. I used to do it a
long time ago. I stopped doing it. But I love
Isaac Hayes, I love Donnie Hathaway, I love me and Simone,
(39:28):
so I try to make sure I keep their music
alive as much as I possibly can. I try to
do all the things when it comes to older music,
because I do think they still have a way of
changing your life. It brings back great memories of being
in my mom's car and listening to Tony Braxon for
the first time, or hearing my aunt screaming about no
(39:48):
drama Mary J. Blige, or it was a girlfriend. He
wasn't disrespectful that one my aunt. She ain't have no kids,
no man, but baby whatever. Phantom man that had a
child on her is a real thing, like you could
watch her express her her I love that. I love feeling,
(40:13):
and music is probably the only thing that gets me
to feel to that stage that is just where I
want to be all the time. I love talking about music.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, so you've given us some new things to add
to our playlist, so I appreciate you. So, Scottie, where
can we stay connected with you and stay abreast of
all the new things that you have happening. What is
your website as well as any social media handles you'd
like to share.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I'm still working on that website, but Scotty beam on
all social platforms except for TikTok. I think it's the
real Scotty beating because somebody beat me to it. I
was fighting not being on this.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
A beautiful well. Thank you so much for spending some
time with us today, Scotti. I really really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Thank you so much, Doctor Joy, I really do appreciate.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Of course, I'm so glad Scotti was able to join
me for this conversation. To learn more about her and
to keep up with her work, check out the show
notes at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash Session three
ninety seven, and don't forget to text this episode to
two of your girls right now. If you're looking for
a therapist in your area, visit our therapist directory at
(41:23):
Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And if you
want to share a question you'd like to hear answered
on the podcast, drop us a voice note at Memo
dot fm slash Therapy for Black Girls. This episode was
produced by Elise Ellis and Tyree Rush. Editing was done
by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me
again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation
(41:46):
with you all real soon. Take good care
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly
conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small
decisions we can make to become the best possible versions
of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy Hard and Bradford,
a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or
(00:32):
to find a therapist in your area, visit our website
at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you
love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is
not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with
a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much
(00:57):
for joining me for session three ninety seven of Therapy
for Black Girls podcast. We'll get right into our conversation
after a word from our sponsors. Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm Scottie Beam and I am finally on the Therapy
for a Black Girls podcast today unpacking my career and
evolution as a media personality.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
We're so honored to be nominated for the Outstanding Lifestyle
and Self Help Podcast category at the fifty six annual
NAACP Image Awards, but we cannot win without your support.
Please take a second to go to vote dot NAACP
Image Awards dot net and vote for therapy for Black Girls.
(01:44):
I'm excited to bring you a conversation today with a
very special guest, someone who's known for her bold voice, authenticity,
and her commitment to empowering others. You may know her
from her work as a media personality, podcaster and all
around call commentator. Joining me today is the one and
only Scotty Beam. Scotti is not only a powerhouse on
(02:07):
the mic, but she's also a trail laser for a
younger generation of women in media, especially when it comes
to destigmatizing the conversation surrounding self care. Whether she's sharing
insights on her new YouTube series, Hi, I'm Uninspired, or
just being her unapologetically real self on social media, Scotty
(02:27):
has a way of making people feel seen, heard and understood. Today,
we'll be diving into some powerful conversations around self love,
mental wellness, and how we navigate the intersections of identity
and mental health, especially in the fast paced world we
live in today. Scotty's perspective is both refreshing and necessary,
(02:48):
and I can't wait for you to check it out.
If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please
share with us on social media using the hashtag TVG
in session. Here's our conversation. So, Scotti, I am so
glad that you were able to join us. Thank you
so much for being here today.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Of course, what doctor Joy therapy for black girls? Are
you kidding me? I've been waiting for this invite my
whole life.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
When we use the day has arrived, Scotty. You know,
like we talked about you at one of our faiths,
so we're very excited to chat with you. But you
have definitely made a name for yourself in media. You
are a host, producer personality. Can you talk about like
the first time you remember that media might actually be
a viable career for you.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yes. I fought it for a long time because my
mom is a radio personality, so I didn't want to
be Sheila's daughter the radio personality too. I wanted to
try to make a name for myself. But finally, when
I was digital producing for Ebro and Angie Martinez, I
was like, I'm not even want to talk a lot something.
(03:56):
I think I might have a scale here. I should
probably hone in. And then this was the early times.
That sound crazy, but there was early times when influencers
wasn't even a thing. It wasn't something that had financial
gain at the time. So I just created a community
through my Instagram, just talking to people and interacting and
(04:16):
connecting and laughing and all those things. I've been on
Twitter since nine, so I was probably one of the
founding members of Twitter. But after that, when I built
the community and I was getting invited to all these
events and also getting really good at radio, I was like,
maybe I am okay at this, Maybe I should look
(04:36):
into this, And that's when I started, probably around twenty
five twenty six. Yeah, yeah, So, I mean you mentioned it,
but your mother is the legendary you sail us god,
and you said you ran from them for a while,
So tell me what was the process, Like, why were
you so afraid to step into that. My mother is
a legend. She is perfect at what she does, like flawless,
(04:59):
and I'd never I thought I had that in me.
I never thought that I could be as good as her,
and I didn't want her to be disappointed in me
yet again because also I had dropped out of school,
so already I had disappointed her. And I just felt
like if I pursued the same thing that she does,
I just was never gonna be as good, and I
(05:21):
still don't feel as good. You know what I'm saying
because my mom has been doing this since she was eighteen.
It's been a long journey for her. I just didn't
want to disappoint, and I run away when I don't
want to disappoint things. I spent a lot of time
just holding back and not actually pursuing anything because I
just didn't know what I could be good at. But eventually,
(05:43):
you know, with validation from my friends, my mom, who
is like a perfectionist, she'll let me do a break
like twelve thousand times before she thinks I got it right.
And I love doing that because I like to practice.
I used to hate doing it outright, but I love
preparing love it. So yeah, that's what I used to do.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And so how would you say having that mentorship from
your mom has really helped propel this next stage of
your career.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I don't think I could be as good or feel
as good about what I do without my mom's mentorship.
Without my mom's mentorship, I don't know where I would be.
Because when I dropped out, I feel like both of
us had to disconnect. And we're very close everybody knows
we are closer and close, but I feel like during
that time and period, it just felt like she didn't
(06:33):
know what I wanted to do. I didn't know what
I wanted to do, and it was a very touchy subject.
So when we passed that phase, she just tried to
help me any way she can. And also she didn't
understand the landscape of the internet at the time, So
explaining to her that I was like, they're paying me
money to post this skincare product. She's like, huh the
(06:56):
hell are you talking about. So having to explained that
and her finally learning to let go and being like,
this girl's gonna do what she wants to do. She's
going to do what she wants to do. I don't
understand it, but I pray for her and things will
work out, because things do work out when I focus,
(07:16):
and she knew I was very focused on trying to
prove her right. So yeah, mm hm.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So you mentioned this stage of your career really popping
with the influencer content creator kind of error, and I
think a lot of people are often given the advice
of like toning down their personalities to be able to
secure different opportunities but it feels like it has very
much been the opposite for you. So what advice would
you give to people who are, you know, wanting to
(07:42):
maybe get into this space and are worried about having
to be a different version of themselves.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I do believe that a lot of us listen to
the voices of people that don't even deserve you. A
lot of us hold these thoughts from outside world where
are on Instagram or Twitter, and you try to compare
with other people, so you're saying, oh, they like when
there are no emotions. They like when you're not as passionate.
(08:09):
You get less grief when you're less passionate, or you
don't talk about things, or you keep it really surface level.
But I just don't really understand how you can keep
that up for the rest of your career. I don't
know how that works, and God bless people that do.
But my mouth stay open. I cannot hold I can't.
(08:30):
I have to say something, and I want my community
to get to know me and feel like, hey, I
trust the words that this woman is saying because I'm
not perfect, that's for sure. And I've grown through the
Internet and they've grown with me. Some of these people
the supporters have been watching me since I was like
(08:52):
twenty three maybe twenty four. I just don't know how
you can be anyone else but yourself untiltality. Now, I'm
not saying overshare to the point of no return, because
I do that as well, But it's all in what
you're comfortable with, but also all in what you want
surrounding you. Who do you want surrounding you. Who do
(09:15):
you want to have your back? Who do you want
to cover you when you can't cover yourself? And I
feel like my community and my people that follow me
and not the hate followers, because you've got those two
everybody got those, but the actual supporters, they gonna rib
with you regardless, They're gonna rob with you for regardless.
They know my heart.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
So yeah, m hm. So I'm glad that you mentioned that.
I think one of the things that I am most
impressed with by you, Scotty, and just like super proud of,
is that you are authentically who you are, and you
share so much of your journey right like in ways
that I feel like, oh my gosh, like this is
very bold, the way she lives her life so out loud, right,
(09:57):
And so I do think though and I've seen this
right because I am one of your faithful followers. The
way that how you've shared has opened you up to
critique and criticism, and so I'm curious to know how
you manage your mental health being a super visible black
woman and sharing in the ways that you do.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
My heart used to break whenever like I guess I
was on the wrong side of history or people felt
like I was on the wrong side of history, especially
when it's coming to like defending black women. There's a
whole gang of people that will fight you on just
supporting and being behind, beside and in front of black women.
I used to take that very personal, and I used
(10:36):
to be very passionate about it and really beat myself
up for anybody's perception of me or whatever their opinion was.
But I just recently said on like Instagram that I
started a journey about two years ago where I was
going to focus on not being a prisoner of somebody
(10:57):
else's acceptance. I'm still finding it, but I feel like
I've learned enough to know that outside noise gets quieter,
and your willingness to actually focus on what it is
that you're good at and your talents and yourself as
a person gets louder. Everything gets louder, and you start
(11:19):
to hone in on you and less of what they're
saying and their opinion of you and how much they
hate you or whatever it is. It's not important for
me to explain myself. I'm thirty three years old. I
am not explaining myself anymore. Also, online, you got to
think of the cycle. We usually see people get mad
as one person and there's a news cycle that happens,
(11:42):
and then we forget all about who he was mad at.
So then we forget about what we were yelling at
them about, and we got to yell at somebody else.
It's always just the finger pointing, and every four years
somebody would crash out about me for a while and
crash out four years later, crash out again. Also used
to the cycle. I can't take this so personally all
(12:02):
the time. Also, I'm taking off years of my life
doing that where I'm worried about user three three two
four seven zero dog face bunny, I'm not doing that
no more, and I'm way happier for it. I'm way
happier for it.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
And what do you think really helps you to get
to that place? Because I think a lot of the
advice it gives to people when they struggle with this,
like social media boundaries, is take time off and protect
your boundaries. But I think that's really hard. What this
is your business, So what kinds of things have helped
you to get to this place where you are less
sensitive to that?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Maybe well, I'm mentally just very strong sometimes. But also
I had to acknowledge that I fought over the thought
that I was a people pleaser. That was the first thing.
I didn't acknowledge that at all. I didn't think I
was until I started to actually realize that I have
a lot of anxiety. Or I monitor my heart rate
(12:54):
whenever like somebody is dissatisfied or like unsatisfied with something,
and if there's an issue, my heart starts to raise.
Or I constantly think like this is unrelated. But I
was talking about my birthday and I had a real
problem telling my friends and family that I was going
to do it alone. It's my choice. I wanted to
do it, but I didn't want to disappoint my friends
(13:16):
and family, especially my mom. So when I noticed a
lot of things like that my hands start to sweat,
That's when I realized, Okay, I might be a people pleaser,
so I have to fix that. So I went to
therapy and I would tell my doctor about it because
I didn't understand how to fix that. So what I
would have to do was shut down for a little bit. Now,
(13:37):
I can't shut down internet all day. I can't do that.
I can't do that in no way. I don't know
how people do it. But I give myself a time
limit and then I put the phone down. I got
to read a book. I gotta do something. So that's
what I decided to do. And also journal, make these
(13:58):
video journals now where I'm talking to myself and I'm
listening to old voice memos where I'm talking to myself
all the time. I talk to myself every day. So
that's how I get through it. That's how I try
to figure out how and what's the best way. And
also healthy practices can change, so I'm open minded to
new ways of how this may work for me. And
(14:18):
so yeah, that's how I try to do it. I'm
not perfect, but I try. I try to do it
the most healthy way.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I imagine more for my conversation after the break, So Scotty,
I wonder if you could also talk about how you
manage the pressure to be on Do you feel that
like when you meet your followers in person or if
(14:49):
you are at a big speaking engagement and people have
this expectation of who Scottie is? How do you manage
that pressure.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
It's never an issue for me. It's never be an
issue for me because I've always been myself. So what
you see on Instagram is what you're gonna see in
real life. I think some people see me in certain
mediums and think I'm very serious until they meet me
and they're like, oh, this girl is severely unseerious all
the time. And also I love talking to supporters. Sylvia
(15:16):
will tell you she hates go with replaces because I'm
gonna stop for everybody. We're gonna have a conversation, we're
gonna hug. I've never had an issue. I think the
only time where I learned about disassociation is when my
grandma passed. I was in London doing a show, and
like the way that I shut off from what happened,
(15:39):
like I didn't do it in remembrance of her, I
did it as in like I ignored everything that was
happening totally forgot, tried to drop everything without feeling things,
and I think that kept going for a while past
the live show. Just to get through I used to
just not think about my grandma or my best friend.
You know, one of my friend he passed away. But
(16:01):
I've also learned that I can also feel through things
and also do the best that I can with working,
and so far, I've just never been the person to
be super sad when it comes to meeting people. This
is some people please the thing, but I never want
people to say, mescotti bean, what a bitch. I don't
want it. I hear the stories, I don't want it,
(16:23):
and I just don't want to make somebody feel like that,
especially when you've supported me and listen to me and
able to keep an open mind with who I am.
I never want to give you the idea that I
am something else, because I am a joyful person and
very very grateful.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
So you mentioned Sylvia Obeil, who you host the Silvia
and Scotti Show with. You all have been podcast hosts
of Okay Now Listen, and so podcasting has been like
the latest foray in two mediums for you. You've done radio,
You've done lots of different things. Can you tell me
what you've learned that maybe is different about the podcast
space than maybe some of the other places you've worked.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well, you definitely get to talk long gir own podcast.
You know them breaks are probably twenty five seconds in below.
But I think the topics are the same. Nobody's expanding
the topic choices. Either you've got five hundred dollar dates
and whatever the men have an issue with with women.
(17:21):
I really do want to defund mics when it comes
to men talking on the microphone for podcasts. But it's
that it's either relationship stuff or it's either being completely
mean to like people, no good opinions anywhere. And so
I'm also searching right now, and that's trying to find
(17:41):
the joy and things and also stop numbing myself from
all that is happening. I feel like so much stuff
is happening and I feel nothing. Whenever the news comes,
I'm like, that's crazy, and then I move on. Then
people run to the mics without even carefully or thoughtfully
processing or working to give your audience something to listen
(18:04):
to and think about. Nobody wants to do that. They
just want to crazy headline. They want to say crazy
things in order to get listenership, and that's not how
it used to be. That's not how podcasting used to be.
But outside of that, I think I've only done radio podcasting, hosting,
hate hosting. Not really a big fan.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
What makes you hate it?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Before I get onto mic, I get insane anxiety. I
haven't broken down what that is. But especially when I
was diagnosed with ADHD and also dyslexia, it thankfully put
a name to a lot of things that I was experiencing,
but also it took away a lot of my confidence. Unfortunately,
you have this rhetoric in your head where you have
(18:46):
dyslexia and you're not supposed to be smart. It's a
learning disability, so in your mind you're like, oh my god,
this whole time I'm walking through the world and probably
people think I'm crazy. You know, I felt like I
probably shouldn't be speaking anymore, especially in public. It's something
that I really have a hard time doing because I
never want to say something wrong, and I rarely do.
(19:08):
That's what my therapist was saying. She was like, tell
me the times where you said anything wrong. And I
was like, but it can happen. She was like, no,
you're thinking of what could happen because this diagnosis, you
don't know much about it. You've learned about it a
little bit, but you don't know what it's going to
feel like. Now you put a name to it, and
now you can actually figure out what's going on. But
(19:31):
that shouldn't be a protective thing. You shouldn't try to
protect yourself from what you used to enjoy doing. Now
not so much. But I used to really do it.
I used to love hosting festivals and things like that.
But now when I get the opportunity, unfortunately I say
no all the time.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
That's so interesting. I mean, I guess podcasting is different
in that it's typically not live, and so if you
mess something up, you can go back and change it.
But you do such an excellent job of having conversations.
It's when i've seen you, like interview or and stuff,
I'm like, oh, she's unnatural at this, Like she does
really good. But it sounds like the editing pieces would
make you maybe more comfortable to do that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Yeah, Like I can write things down, I don't necessarily
need anything in my hand if I practice it as
much as I can. But when it's live and they're
like Hey, Scotty, can you say this this, this and
this and this and this and this and this and
this and this and this. Feel like where's the copy?
Where's the script? Oh no, there's no copy of script.
I'm not gonna remember that. I can't do it. So
(20:30):
it's hard for me. Yeah, but I'm still working on it.
I'm still practicing. I practice every Saturday and every Tuesday.
Try to talk live, not on IG live, but try
to do things without stopping, talk about topics without stopping
or without really overthinking what it is and I'm talking about.
(20:53):
But podcasts, I can write out my script and keep
it there, but I only use it for bullet points.
Somehow cannot do that on stage. It's a process and
I gotta acknowledge that eventually I'll get there. I just
have to take my time with feeling comfortable again on
the stage.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
So yeah, I got it.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I'm doing my best. What I got.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Will stay tuned as the journey evolves. So you've done
these different media places. Is there any area of media
that you haven't done that you're looking forward to maybe exploring.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I have never done anything about myself as far as
any series, and that is my dream I've started doing
Black Girl podcasts with four other members, and then I
did a Gimlet podcast about rebox sneakers back then, but
it was by myself, and also it was with gimblin it.
Just as far as creativity, they were putting input. I
(21:46):
want to do something that is solely on me, where
I am the producer, I'm the creative, and I am
the talent and see how that looks. I've never had
the time or had the confidence to actually put my
myself first when it came to anything that I enjoy.
When podcast is stuff, so that's my thing, Like, that's
(22:08):
the next thing I want to do. I want to
try to maybe prove to myself that I could do
things alone. I could do things with just me and
I don't necessarily need a person around me, even though
me and Sylvia, you know, that's my best friend, but
sometimes I think she has her writing, she has everything
(22:28):
on that side, not regarding me, but she has everything.
I'm trying to find where I need to be if
I'm doing things alone and with my opinions and my
opinions only, especially when we're talking about music. That's what
I want to try to zero in on. The music
piece and doing things dolo.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Yeah, yeah, I mean you have definitely been one of
the most outspoken I think in trusted voices. When I
think about black women in the hip hop space, can
you talk a little bit about navigating that space that
I think so many of us love but that isn't
often very behind and maybe affirming to black women. What
has that been like?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Hell? It has been? Hell, it was hell, Doctor Joyce.
I will never tried to make it sound like it
was so joyful and amazing. I think I've had some
great musical experiences and conversations, But unfortunately with society, they
have this idea that women has a limit to their
hip hop knowledge, like we can't know anything about battle rap,
(23:27):
we can't know anything about independent artists who women wouldn't
listen to generally. So they put you through these tests
and quizzes and ask you several questions about what's the
track list for who? What year did nas do this?
They are on your ass. I've over prepared for hip
(23:49):
hop at any time. I don't think we'll ever get
to a space where it'll be just women talking about
hip hop and not women in hip hop. I'm talking
about just hip hop period. If I want to talk
about a female rapper, I will, but I want to
talk about all hip hop everything that I listened to,
(24:10):
and so it wasn't easy. It's not easy, and it
made me stop for a while because when I saw
how grotesque and nasty that area was, I was like,
it's getting on me, Like I could feel it on me.
And I wanted to talk about different things, and I do.
I have the variety and the range to talk about
many things. So I started doing that. Not that I
(24:33):
was scared from the hip hop. It just was so
negative at times that you can't help being negative back
and argue with people and be nasty to people and
curse people out and do all this and one thing
about me, I'm gonna curse somebody out. So I was
just doing it a little too much. I felt like
it was just too much, and I know I had
(24:53):
other potential to tap and that's what I wanted to
start doing back then. But now I want to get
back into music, talking about music, but make it safer
and have more variety of what we are talking about,
because how we're talking about music these days has my
mind spinning sometimes. The way that people aren't careful about
(25:17):
something that we love so much, and some of us
were saved by it, which is music is mind blowing
to me. And so we've gotten so far from the plot.
I don't even know where the plot is. I'm ready
to start talking about things that matter to me and
have the supporters that also think the same.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
How do you think the genre and the culture can
create spaces that are more like affirming of black women
in the space.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Create another space? Because YouTube is highly negative, TikTok can
get negative, any social medium can get extremely negative. But
I feel like if you have the heart and the
mind to do it, you will figure out how to
quiet the noise and focus on the people who actually
(26:02):
care about what you're saying. I think it's impossible to
keep out all the negativity, but there is a way
to turn your back to it and just focus on
the people who are positive and actually listening to your
opinions and perspective with an open mind. And that's what
you just have to do. That's what I realized that
I had to do, even though people were screaming at
(26:25):
me for certain things I said about hip hop or
whatever it is, I just have to turn my back.
I just think about mentally turning my back and focusing
on the people who are actually having the conversation instead
of be ying at me and telling me to get
back in the kitchen, and you know, doing all these things,
saying all this shit that don't matter truly and not
(26:46):
even related to hip hop. It's just misogyny and patriarchy,
that's all that is. So I'm just gonna put you
behind me and focus on the people who are actually
focused on me. So that's the best thing you could
do during these times. I've seen some really crazy things
these days, and I'm like, the people are suffering.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You are very much in a season of scratching off
things off your bucket list and doing all the things
of your wildest dreams. So you just had a huge,
gorgeous billboard in New York. So tell me about that
process and what it's like to see your face on
a fees that large.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
It was surreal. Seven years ago, probably sixty years ago,
I used to manifest it a lot like I just
want my own. Now. I've had other billboards, and I've
been equally as excited about all of them. But just
like I was saying to you about the podcast, I
wanted to know if I was actually good enough to
be by myself on a goillboard. So I used to
(27:42):
really focus on it, but that this time around, I
think I didn't need it, and that made it even
more special. I think when you over obsessed about certain
things and you make it your personality and you want
to be defined by these things, it's impossible to enjoy
the rest of your life when it's not happening. I'm
an obsessor. I would obsess over things that I need
(28:03):
to do or things that I want in life, and
if it's not happening, everything else is shitty. It's terrible.
I don't want to do any of this unless this
is happening for me, and so I had to learn
how to love the joys of life without my career.
And that's what I've been doing so far. And when
it happened, I wasn't expecting it to happen. They didn't
(28:25):
tell us. There was nobody that told us that we
were on a billboard and we were gonna do this
shoot for a billboard. The person that shot it is
actually one of my very close friends. Raven Ravb is
what the girls call her. But I trusted her with
the shots and everything. It came out great. He posted
it on our socials moved on nice. Then Nigel Sylvester,
(28:47):
who is the creative behind the whole shoot, had posted
it and then he sent it to me and he
was like, yo, we're on a billboard. I screamed, and
I was shooting something else and I was like what
we I think God was trying to teach me a
lesson where he was like, listen, I got it. You
just need to do the work. You just need to
enjoy your life, be grateful for the things that you
(29:09):
do have, and eventually it will come to fruition, but
you have to give it time and enjoy stuff. You
just think everything's terrible because things aren't working out the
way that they should work out. But he's like, little
do you know that it's my plan, not yours, So
enjoy to ride and trust me, it'll definitely be a
(29:31):
ride of your life. So I am very very proud
of that, and my mom seeing it it just yeah,
stop for I start crying, doctor joy. But it was amazing.
It was amazing. You know, I'm anna cry immediately. I
will cry. It was a blessing. It was a blessing.
It was the greatest feeling ever.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Y is so I love that you share so much
of that with your community. It feels like we are
kind of along the ride with you. One of the
other things that you share very often is your shoe collection.
So many of your followers know that you are a
big sneaker here, so talk to us about the process
of cultivating a collection and why that's important.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
My whole life, I have been into sneakers since I
was probably like seven or eight. I was really big
into comfort and streetwear, and I grew up in New York.
Then I moved to Jersey when I was fourteen thirteen fourteen,
and that just never left me. I enjoy it so much.
(30:29):
And it's also not something that I'm like, I'm collecting
so I could make money from these shoes. Like it's
never had a monetary gain to me. It's never been
something that I needed so that cloud and I could
have some cloud in this area, make people believe that
into what they're into or whatever it is. I've been
doing this my whole life. My whole entire life, I've
(30:50):
been collecting. And also I don't collect the big, hard
hitting things. I collect what I like, like even if
it's a sneaker that won't ever sell out, I don't
care to buy it. If I like it, I'm gonna
wear it. I'm looking at my clathure right now. It
makes me so happy. I love sneakers. I hate heels,
hate them, send them back. But when it comes to
(31:12):
getting dressed and picking from my collection and being able
to look at all the stuff that I've bought or
got sent acceded to, it's amazing to see people also
realizing that I'm very invested into the sneaker community and
I don't need to die from it. It's something I
truly enjoy it. Not everything that you do has to
be monetized and never monetized off of sneakers. Even though
(31:36):
people are like, I understand you, I hear you, but
there needs to be more women interested in sneakers in
the sneaker space. Even though it's very hard for black women,
especially darker brown black women, to even touch or get
near a shoe or modeling for a shoe. It's impossible.
(31:57):
Sometimes you don't see a lot of that at all,
But much respect to all the black girls that do it.
So I try to support any black woman that has
put out a shoe I have bought because you want
to keep it going where they feel like we have
an audience and where we do show up for each
other when it comes to sneakers, because if we don't,
(32:18):
they will definitely be like to the back, we don't
care anymore. So yeah, it's just very important to make
sure that you show up for these girls and even
a WNBA starting to get their own shoes a little
bit more. I've bought every shoe. Asia Wilson has a
shoe somewhere around here, but bought it. Don't play a
lick of basketball, and it's a real basketball sneaker. I
(32:40):
will never break my angle in the shoe, but I
just need to have it. I just need to support
I don't care. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
More from our conversation after the break. So what media
is really pulling your attention these days? Scotti? What are
you watching in terms of maybe video podcast listening to
with podcasts, newsletters? What's really like, Oh I got to
(33:10):
see the next episode of this or pay attention to
these episodes? Well, my close friend Gia Pepper's I used
to do a black girl podcast with.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
She has the Healed podcast. I think that's an amazing part.
Gia is an incredible interviewer, So anything that she puts
out I watch for inspiration purposes and also just to
listen to a conversation that helps and not hurts. So
I like that one therapy for Black girls for sure,
Doctor do. I really don't have anywhere I turn, I'm
(33:41):
like god D, it's always something crazy and no introspection.
It's just, oh, what happened in media and we're talking
about this one person. We don't know much, we didn't
even research, but we just gonna talk about it because
no matter how ignorant we get, people will listen. Because
it's ignorant. It's something that can either make you disgusted,
(34:02):
react or laugh and sometimes just tired. I'm just tired
of it. I'm exhausted. So what I've been doing is
watching people produce. I know it sounds crazy. I watch
people produce music on YouTube. That's my thing. Yeah, I
love to watch producing processes when it comes to making
(34:25):
some of my favorite songs, you know. I like to
watch Ryan Leslie a lot produce, El Varner d Mile
who is a producer for Bruno, Mars and Lucky Day,
and a slew of other people. Her I love to
watch those things. I love watching people create. I think
it helps with my inspiration or the push to actually
(34:47):
do better with my creative process. And I like some shows.
I'll be watching guilty pleasure shows all the time. That's
how I get down. But when it comes to podcasting,
I just feel like there should be a little test,
just a little record environment where everybody should meet to
pass in order to do it. And although everything ain't
for everybody, and there's some things that people have that
(35:09):
I won't ever get, but I feel like even the
girls that have gaming, they are doing amazing. They are
still adding introspection and being able to talk about it
at a higher level. And I feel like for most women,
we have to be prepared all the time. You have
to be over prepared for what you talk about, especially
(35:30):
if it makes it on the internet, on Twitter or
wherever you are. So I feel like they have break podcasts.
There are women with the Library podcast they talk about books.
The girls are doing it everywhere, But sometimes I don't
want to listen about a book for about an hour.
You know, I can just read the book and we
can move on. Not really a big book club girl
(35:53):
and gaming, I'm terrible at so usually the music podcasts
with women I have to do better with trying to
figure out who actually because I'm just so uninspired with
a lot of the talk and rhetoric on music. I'm
just like, I don't even try at this point. I
just feel like, oh, no, where that's going? Never mind? Yeah,
so I don't. I watch my little TV, I listen
(36:16):
to music, and I read a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
So I feel like we will be missing a huge
opportunity if we did not find out who you have
on repeat right now? So what music are you currently
listening to? Any hidden gems that you want to put
on the map for us?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Well, First of all, Doci Dochi's will not release me,
father God. It really refuses to let go of my neck.
I mean from the first to the last, I have
played it over and over again. It's perfect for anything.
If you need to get motivated, great, if you need
to do something in the gym, amazing, If you feel
(36:53):
like you need to dress your best and feel like
you love the skin that you're in do gi' she
is exactly who I've been waiting for in this industry
as far as music is concerned, because I felt like
it was getting formulated. It was like, you gotta do this,
you gotta be like this, you have to be this
type of persona, and that's it, and the girls will
(37:15):
eat it up. And I get the girls eating it up,
but I'm like, babe, we need something else. We gotta
have something different. Not all of us are this way,
and not all of us really care to be that way.
But I appreciate it. And also I love that other
women are feeling seen in that way. But where do
I feel seen? Especially when talking about my love for
traditional hip hop, I'm still get off my lawn kind
(37:38):
of girl. I need this to go in the direction
of Oh, I need an actual skill set. I need
to actually rap. I need to get better with how
I flow in my cadence. I need to do better
these people who work on live performances, that's a lost cause.
Some of the people are just women and men just
(37:59):
sitting on the mic singing the songs like we in
karaoke and they playing the whole damn track and we
just singing along. What's the point of me comment? Are
you performing? Are you entertaining? Even performing with a track.
I'm never gonna come to your concert ever again. You
can definitely believe that you won't see me. But though
she really is that for me, I'm so excited. And
(38:20):
also Scarlet, I know, I hear y'all. I know the
girls of like it's good, but it taps into also
a different type of woman, and I enjoy them too.
I used to be that girl, very aggressive, very you know,
I'll punch you in your face music. I also think
that needs to be in hip hop as well, so
(38:43):
love her for that. Really hope that she gets managed
better and picks better songs. But that's what I look
forward to with her. No worries and Anderson Park I
love them too. They're a great combination producer singer combo
that I really do enjoy. And I'm listening to Cevie
Wonder a lot. I understand he didn't come out with anything,
(39:05):
but I'd love to study our legends and listen to
every damn album that they've come out with. I do
that often, and I have a notebook of me writing
most facts about them. I used to do it a
long time ago. I stopped doing it. But I love
Isaac Hayes, I love Donnie Hathaway, I love me and Simone,
(39:28):
so I try to make sure I keep their music
alive as much as I possibly can. I try to
do all the things when it comes to older music,
because I do think they still have a way of
changing your life. It brings back great memories of being
in my mom's car and listening to Tony Braxon for
the first time, or hearing my aunt screaming about no
(39:48):
drama Mary J. Blige, or it was a girlfriend. He
wasn't disrespectful that one my aunt. She ain't have no kids,
no man, but baby whatever. Phantom man that had a
child on her is a real thing, like you could
watch her express her her I love that. I love feeling,
(40:13):
and music is probably the only thing that gets me
to feel to that stage that is just where I
want to be all the time. I love talking about music.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, so you've given us some new things to add
to our playlist, so I appreciate you. So, Scottie, where
can we stay connected with you and stay abreast of
all the new things that you have happening. What is
your website as well as any social media handles you'd
like to share.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I'm still working on that website, but Scotty beam on
all social platforms except for TikTok. I think it's the
real Scotty beating because somebody beat me to it. I
was fighting not being on this.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
A beautiful well. Thank you so much for spending some
time with us today, Scotti. I really really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Thank you so much, Doctor Joy, I really do appreciate.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Of course, I'm so glad Scotti was able to join
me for this conversation. To learn more about her and
to keep up with her work, check out the show
notes at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash Session three
ninety seven, and don't forget to text this episode to
two of your girls right now. If you're looking for
a therapist in your area, visit our therapist directory at
(41:23):
Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And if you
want to share a question you'd like to hear answered
on the podcast, drop us a voice note at Memo
dot fm slash Therapy for Black Girls. This episode was
produced by Elise Ellis and Tyree Rush. Editing was done
by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me
again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation
(41:46):
with you all real soon. Take good care
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