April 16, 2025 • 73 mins
A caller and I talk about the beautiful redundancies of life, an Amazon driver is the best person I’ve ever met, and a caller from England talks about her online dating experience.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey? What's up?
Speaker 3 (00:02):
Man?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
What's your name?
Speaker 1 (00:03):
I'm Rory. Nice to talk to you, man. This is
fucking crazy.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It's nice to talk to you too. Man. Have we
have we spoken before?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
No? This is my first time kick.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Ass rock and roll? Who are you, Rory?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I'm a I'm a little dude. I'm a little I
don't know, I'm a man. This is so crazy. I
just did not even think i'd get on the phone.
I don't know, man, I'm a guy. I own a lizard.
I'm going to a show later. Do you know who
(00:42):
mount Eerie is?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Mount Erie?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yeah, it's like really weird like sad music and I'm
super excited for it.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
What what is it about mount Erie that appeals to you?
What is it about the sad music that appeals to you?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I don't know. It's like just so intense m hm
and uh. A lot of it's kind of like it
kind of writes a lot about it, like a lot
of bullshit, but a lot of it's just like so
like stule crushing that it's just it's like an experience.
I don't know, and I've never seen him live and
I'm really excited.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Do you find that listening to sad depressing music makes
you feel better or worse because it's a bit it's
a mixed bag.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I really, man, I can talk about this for like ever,
but I really I don't know. It's kind of it
kind of just depends. Like I'm a fan of like
lots of crazy shit, Like I'm a fan of lots
of music that's just like orderline unlistenable because it's just
(01:56):
so intense. I don't know, Like music is just a
thing that not to get all like I don't know
what's the word emotional or whatever about it, but like
music is just a thing that like there's so much
(02:18):
opportunity for people to just like express the craziest, the
craziest fucking shit that you can that you can't otherwise.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You know, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's totally just like a normal thing anybody can get
from that. But like listening to like sad music is
like if it's done right, it's like and it connects
with you in a way. It's like you can feel
things you've never felt or sending with like angry music,
Like I love a lot of angry music and also
happy music too, Like I love I'm a sound guy
(02:52):
and at the I was working this show the other
night with like some like I don't know, there wasn't
really like punk bands. I guess they're like hard rock bands.
But I was playing like for the house music between
the bands, you know, I'm playing like stuff like that
and people are yelling and screaming and stuff. But when
(03:15):
it was like dawn, I had to put on Demiroquai.
And sometimes I'll put on just like just like amazing
gospel and funk and stuff just to like it's just
I have to clear the air though, like if I'm
around too much. But I don't know if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
But what what is you said, Demiroquai? What is that?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
You know the scene at the end of Napoleon Dynamite
where he's dancing.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I vaguely, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's like that. It's like that's that's the guy that
he was dancing too.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Mmm do you? I mean, do you? It's interesting. I was.
I remember about a little over a year or ago.
I was really uh sad, and I woke up one
day at like seven in the morning and it was
snowing out, and I walked down the street in the
(04:14):
snow in New York and I listened to a bunch
of Simon and Garfunkel. I listened to the Only Living
Boy in New York, which is what you know. Here's
the thing, and I want to say this. At the time,
it absolutely made me feel more depressed. Listening to the
(04:36):
Only Living Boy in New York while being depressed in
New York. Will it will make you more depressed. But
when I look back on the scene of me being
depressed walking through the snow listening to Only Living Boy
in New York, it's kind. There's it's it is romantic,
I would say, looking at it from that point of view,
(04:57):
But I don't know if it made me feel better.
Whereas convert if I listen what did I fucking you know,
when you listen to like, uh, I'm gonna sound like
an that, when you listen to like upbeat, like what
like fucking rap music or like rock or whatever, like
you feel you feel good, You feel like, Okay, you're alive,
something's happening, you know. I've never I don't know if
(05:19):
I actively feel I feel I think, yeah, it's sad music.
It puts me too too deep in my emotions, which
maybe you don't want to feel all the time, you.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Know, But like not all the time? Do I want
to listen to like happy upbeat stuff, you know? Yeah,
Like it's kind of I don't know. Like one of
my favorite musicians is uh or just songwriters is Elliott Smith.
(05:51):
I don't know if you're familiar with him, but he's
that's like a very sad guy. And I'll listen to
that stuff when I'm not sad, you know, because.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
He he was he was in a band, right.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
He had a band called Heat miser okay, and then
he did his solo stuff after that. He might have
some more stuff in between there, but.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Uh, yeah, I think uh I used to Uh, there's
there's this comedian Chris Gethard who's talked about Elliott Smith before.
Did he he didn't see he's not in the cure?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Is he?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Is that a different person?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
No, that's Robert Smith.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Oh okay, all right, that's a good guy. But are
you Are you sad? Often? I?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You know, I used to be like just miserable all
the time. And yeah, and I don't feel as like
when I get when the things come up that like
or like when a feeling comes up and I feel
(07:00):
like how I felt like a couple of years ago,
I'm like surprised now and it's like kind of crazy,
why are you?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Why are you not miserable every day anymore?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I had lots of like outside pressures on me for
like lots of things. I don't know, Like I was
in two relationships that were really terrible I had. I
went to like a weird sort of college prep high school,
and then I went to this like very prestigious college
(07:38):
and couldn't fucking handle it and it was like miserable.
And then I was like working as a house painter
and that was like, I mean, it's cool. I like
would have been my uncle, but it was just like
this sucks, like what am I doing? And then and
then I had a lot of like I think I
kind of just like proved to myself that I could
(08:00):
like do things for myself and I could like do
things that were like self affirming and uh and I
don't know, and I just kind of I started like
taking better care of myself. And you talked about a
lot about journaling. I was like journaling. I was writing.
(08:21):
I was like making music. I was like making making
art and not really doing anything with it, but just
like having it. And then I got like I went
back to school, I got a degree in something I
was interested in and interested in, and then like, I
don't know, I just kind of now now I'm now
(08:46):
I'm like miserable in a way where it's like like fuck,
I'm not doing all the things that like I should
be doing that like I want to be doing, and
uh it's like a it's like a different kind of
like it's like a I was I saw this thing
about like with with desire comes suffering, and I want
(09:10):
I want to say I'm like suffering, but like I
have desires and like it's I'm not like where I
want to be, so it's like kissing me off.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Al yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm the same. I'm not
where I want to be either, and I I I
also feel desire strongly and uh yeah yeah, desire. Yeah,
desire is suffering. I think a lot of my suffering
is probably due to desire. Like you look at your
(09:41):
life and it's like not where you want it to be,
and so you're you're like making yourself suffer. And I
don't know, there's two schools of thought on well, there's
probably many schools of thought on it, but uh, you know,
whatever there's a school of thought of like, okay, well,
then to you you want, you got to get what
you want, or you got to remove the desire or
(10:03):
not desire so much. I don't know. I don't know
how to deal with that conundrum. That's a conundrum I'm
dealing with myself significantly often. What what but you're less miserable,
You're less miserable. What is it? What is it about
your life it's making you less miserable.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I think I had a lot of change all at once,
and it was like positive change, and I had a
I mean, this might sound super fucking cheesy and go
for it. I don't know, it's kind of weird to
like share this in front of a bunch of people.
(10:44):
I had this like I had a breakup that kind
of like destroyed my sense of self a little bit.
And I think that was like kind of like the
something I needed something to kind of like be like, yo, dude,
are you kind of fucking I don't know, need to
(11:07):
like work on some stuff and uh yeah. And then
I went to I used to like better help for
a little bit and I was talking to this guy
named Zachary, who was like really amazing and he really
helped me, and he like told me like, uh, the journal,
and he told me to have this like.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Disclaimer, I did not pay this guy to call in. Okay, continue,
I was gonna say that.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I didn't mean to, Like no.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
No, no, no, no, I want to I actually want to
hear hear more about this. You got you got you
talk to a guy and he got you to journal.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah. I just had this Like I meant this or
didn't meet him. I just I fucking paid this that
online service to like I was just kind of like desperate,
like I didn't know and like, but I randomly like
got matched with this guy and we had he we
had like so much in common. It was really weird.
And he told me, Uh, we did a lot of
(12:05):
I don't even like really specifically remember like what we did.
For like the we did some like cognitive behavioral therapy
stuff where like when you get like a yeah, when
like someone like a certain idea or a certain thing
you have like comes up, just like immediately try to
negate it. And it was like really fucking difficult. But
(12:27):
I was going through all that stuff at the same
time that I was like I started uh school again
and I went back to I went back to college
and I went to music school, and and I like,
I don't know, now I work in the industry, and
I'm like it was just crazy. It was just kind
(12:50):
of like for like three years or so, I just
things kept like accumulating, and I kept being like, Wow,
I can do that, I can do that, And of
course it was like I don't know a fucking shit.
Things that are like really fucking hard and you have
to like work really hard, and like I'm not anywhere
near where I want to be, And like tonight the
(13:12):
show that I'm going to, my friend is doing sound
for them, and my and uh, their girlfriend got me
the job at the venue that uh all three of
us work at, and oh my god, like them two
there's so much better than I am at doing this ship.
(13:34):
And it's like, so I'm gonna go there tonight and
I'm just gonna try to, like, you know, talk to
them and see what's like, Hey, what are you doing
for this? But it's like, yeah, it's really fucking hard,
Like everything is always really hard, but like I just
kind of got so fucking sick of like feeling shitty,
(13:58):
and uh, I don't know, I just pushed. Something just
snapped and I pushed myself. And I know it's like
easier to say, it's easier to say than to do,
but I I don't know, it's just, uh, it kind
of like started manifesting, and like I'm getting so pissed
(14:19):
off that I'm like, I don't know if manifesting is
the right word. It turned into just me getting like
more pissed off than like anything, more irritable than like
I'm just like upset with myself, and I just like
couldn't really, I don't know, I just couldn't deal with
(14:39):
that anymore. You know, Yeah, I do know.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
How old are you?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I am twenty eight. I just turned I turned twenty
eight a couple of months ago.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Nice. Yeah, well that's cool man. It's cool that you
uh had, like, like I don't know, this series of
self affirming things happened. So therapy worked, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It worked for me. That was like I went to
therapy when I was younger. I had a couple of
different therapists and they were fucking stupid. They were so
fucking stupid.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So many yeah, yeah, there's so many fucking stupid therapists
out there. Yeah, keep going.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
They like did not understand like what I was trying
to talk about. I literally had a therapist fall asleep
on me one time, not even kidding. And yeah, it
was just like randomly. I was like it was like
one in the morning. I remember, I was like all
(15:45):
on panic attack, like I can't fucking do this shit,
I don't know what's going on. And I just was like,
I this this better help. Shit. I don't even know.
I don't even know what else I could do. And
then I was with that guy for a couple of months,
and it was like more expensive than like it should
have been, but that's why I was in with him
for a couple of months. But yeah, it was cool.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
When when, so what what? How long ago was it
that you were It was one am and you were like,
I can't fucking do this.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I was it was in September and I was twenty four,
so that was like three and a half years ago
or something.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
M do you feel and you feel better now than
you did then?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yeah? Definitely cool. I remember I was like walking across
this bridge all the time to go to classes. Oh yeah,
and I mean I was just like, yeah, thinking about
it all the time.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
But you know what, ok that ship? Oh yeah, I
mean yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, there's yeah no, there's
so many things to try. I don't know why I'm
on the so much. I'm on I'm I'm this is all,
this is this, Yeah, dude, I don't know. There's so
many things to try. There's so many things to try.
There's so many things to have, and.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Just in general, man like having a childlike sense of
wonder is the most important thing, because like, well, you
go ahead with it. You were to say, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Oh god, don't ask me. What am I trying out lately?
All right? Okay, well fuck when am I trying lately?
I should? I gotta try more, I gotta try different things.
I was did I I? Oh god, I can't remember
(17:46):
what I've talked about on the podcast already and what
I haven't, but I think I might. I think I've
said this before, but I'll just say it again. I
was in Japan and I was going kind of insane,
and I called my friend and and I was I
was telling him I was going insane, and he was like,
you gotta do stuff man like me. He was my
(18:07):
friend was like, you know, me and my friends we
go out to trivia every Wednesday. You know, he wasn't
a he wasn't being particularly uh he's very logistical. It
wasn't He's not a very emotional guy. He was like,
me and my friends got out to trivia every Wednesday,
and you can't kill yourself if you have trivia on Wednesdays.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, you know something. You have said that on the podcast,
and I have thought that exact thing like a bunch
of times, like that's such a that's such a like
good way to say that you can't kill yourself if
you're at trivia.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Okay, I have said that on the podgast you just
need something, you need things to do. I think one
of my tribes gott you know, yeah, I mean you
need things to do. What am I trying? I gotta
try more? I gotta I mean whatever, man, I'm going.
What am I trying? I mean, I'm I'm waking up,
you know, I'm fucking yeah, I'm trying, you know, trying
(19:11):
more things. We gotta I don't know. This is such
a weird thing. This is a weird thing. This has
evolved into I don't know, keep going Rory. What else?
What else is you gotta advice? You gottny you got
any advice for the people? Roy about about uh how
to be how to how to transcend?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, I mean, well ship, I don't know, it's kind
of just you know, it's it's, uh, yeah, you gotta
try stuff. You gotta just do something. I don't know, like, uh,
(19:59):
you know, let me let me take let me take
like a little bit of a long approach to this,
but I'll make it quick. So you were talking about
how like there's two schools of like desire, right, There's
like should I desire more? Should I desire less? To
be happy? And yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, yesterday
(20:27):
I was at my girlfriend's house and her mom was like, man,
I went to the store and I was trying to
get spray olive oil and then also like normal olive
oil whatever, the actual oil because she needed to cook
(20:49):
to use it to cook something with like the actual oil.
And and then she was like and I forgot the spray.
I forgot the normal one, so now I just have
the spray one. And I was like, holy fuck, Like
my you know, she's my girlfriend's mom, so she's older
than me. And I was like, man, my entire life
(21:11):
is just gonna be like like I'm gonna have to
I just did that ship the other day. I forgot
fucking bananas at the grocery store and the whole point
to be going was to get shipped from my smoothies
in the morning, and I forgot the fucking bananas. And
I'm just gonna have to do that. My whole life
is just forget stuff at the grocery store, among other things.
It's just gonna be this like awful, Like it's like
(21:36):
it that it'll just never stop and and and like
you can't like care about that, you can't like let
it like bother you. That like life is just kind
of gonna be full of like disappointments and frustrations. You
(22:00):
just got to find something fucking cool and like give
a shit about it and give a shit about that
and like yeah, and that's gonna be full of fucking frustrations.
I've been in like literally twenty different bands and none
of them have got take I've gotten off the ground.
(22:22):
And I have friends of mine who were just playing
these like this amazingly large show. They two of my
friend's bands were opening for Jack white in front of
five four hundred people or something like that, and there's
like all these awesome pictures of them, and I'm so
(22:44):
happy for them, and but I was like, damn, like
I want to do that so bad. I've wanted to
do that for shit like that for so long. But
I kind of that kind of makes it come back
to like the point like that sounds sad. I don't
mean that in a sad thing a sad way. I
guess for me, it's just like an aggressor or like
(23:07):
a like I'm gonna do that. I don't know, I'm
gonna do shit cool shit that I want to do.
I don't know. Does that make am I just bullshitting?
Does that make sound? No?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
No, no, no, no, You're not appleshing at all. You're
making You're making a lot of Well I'm trying to
think about this because I have go I mean, I
went to you know, I fucking toured around Australia and
Europe and did these shows and they were awesome. They
were a lot of fun. They were great. But you know,
(23:40):
I'm still and I still want to do that stuff,
and I still want to keep doing cool shit and
trying my best to do cool shit. But I don't
know if playing a show to a bunch of people
is like the it's really cool. Uh, you know, I
want to keep doing it, and it's cool to like
(24:02):
be in the moment of whatever it is that you're doing.
But I don't know if it's the on and off
switch for like being less fucking like miserable all the time,
you know, I don't know if it's the you know,
I don't know if being like like like being like
wildly wildly successful. I don't know if that's the the
(24:29):
thing I think. I think, well, when I really think
about it, the I think the joy is often just
like in being in the moment of what you're doing
and feeling productive and feeling competent, and feeling the present.
(24:52):
I mean, you talked about a childlike sense of wonder.
I mean that's because your present, and you know, look, ideally,
when you're playing a show in front of a eight
billion whatever people, you're present. I've I've you know, played
shows as the get go in front of a bunch
of people, and you know, I didn't feel like I
was performing at my best and I didn't feel good,
and so I was in my head and I wasn't
(25:14):
present and that wasn't fun. But I you know, then
I've had times where I was in front of you know,
I did I'll do like a fucking stand up comedy
open mic in front of you know, ten people, but
I'll feel really present with the fucking jokes and it
feels good, you know. So it's just I think it's
about chasing presence more than any I mean, I feel
(25:41):
good right now talking to you because I'm present, and
sometimes I'm doing this and I'm not feeling that good
and it's because I'm not present. So that's I mean,
that's I think what is uh there is to chase,
you know, more than like you know, anything else. But
I don't know. I'm also I'm also talking at them,
I asked, because uh, you know, it's cool to do stuff.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No, I think I think sort of something I forget
all the time is like my perspective is like it's
just like stupid fucking like rock band ship. I always
just think of stuff as it's like cool bands and
(26:27):
cool music and art, and it's like do something. When
I was thinking like do something cool, I'm like thinking
of like like start a fucking band. But I always
I always like and I talked to like my cousins
and stuff, and then like that's just like not not
my cousins. I don't know anybody, but it's just like
that's like not everybody's life, and I have to like
(26:48):
remember that.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
So what what's up with you?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
What do you? What do you?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
What's up with your cousins?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Oh? Nothing? Not like.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Are they just like normies, like they have like a
fucking job in an office or something.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Not like my cousins in particular, but just like you know,
when you go to like a family function and like
you start talking about your job or whatever, and they're like, wow,
you can make money doing that. That's crazy, and it's like, yeah,
it's that is you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Or oh yeah, yeah, yeah, well that yeah. That's all
you need sometimes is like you talk to somebody and
then you're like, oh, yeah, all you need is like
a little bit of perspective and it kind of shocks
you back into your Yeah no, no, a little bit of
perspective will shock you right back into your fucking A
little bit of perspective will make you cling to your
goddamn life. A little bit, A little bit of perspective
(27:40):
will make you go, why the fuck would I kill myself?
Oh my god? What what you I would? Why would
I give this up? This is great? Holy shit?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, fucking crazy when that happens, you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Just like it is, It's like it's like getting hit
by lightning or something.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I was, Uh. I was at a uh this like
parade that we have where I live, and they have
a uh there's always like a New Orleans style marching
band up at like the front of it. And my
girlfriend's little cousin she's four, was like we're all hanging
(28:17):
out and walking with her because like all the people
that get in the parade and we like walk in
the parade, and she was like dancing next to the tuba,
the lady playing the tuba, and I just like I
started like peering up. I was like, that's just so beautiful,
Like this little tiny thing is like this is a
(28:38):
beautiful moment. I don't know, and you know what, I
think that's what has kind of made me feel a
lot better, is like you just appreciate those things and
you appreciate like big fucking clouds or a cool Today
I saw a van parked and the dog was in
the driver's seat and I took a picture of it.
(29:01):
It's like funny as fuck.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah, but yeah, because it looks like the dog is
driving the car.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yes, yes, exactly, and it wasn't. That's why it's funny.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And it wasn't. But if the dog was actually driving
the car, that wouldn't be that funny because he'd probably
kill a bunch of people.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Uh. One Another cool thing I've been trying to do, though,
is make curry and I'm like getting better at it,
but I'm still not very good at it. And uh,
I don't know. That's like a chill thing. That's you
gotta take something to do, you know, I don't know. Wait,
(29:42):
I want to ask you something though. When you go
on tour, what what is that like? Do you get
a lot of time to like experience the place as
you go or no?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I like the way you said, Uh, you said tour
just now.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I do sometimes, Yeah, I do tour instead of tours
that what.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Where are you from?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
What you're saying?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah, where are you from?
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I'm from. I lived in I live in a place
called ham Tranmic. It's in Detroit. Okay, It's like I
live in Detroit.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Basically yeah, because I heard that that was kind of
like a Delco or like a Philly accent a little bit.
I know a lot of people in Philly who talk
like that. But uh uh yeah, it depends, man. I
mean when I was on sometimes sometimes I got a
lot of time, but other times I didn't have as
much time. Uh. I mean, yeah, it was cool. I like, well,
(30:36):
I liked I like traveling, I like doing stuff. I'm
I'm always kind of on a back and forth between like, oh,
you know, you want to be stable so you can
build relationships and community and and then you know you
want to travel so that you can like, you know,
be crazy and life is a movie and whatnot. But
(30:56):
I don't know, man, yeah I think, uh yeah, I
got to see a lot of places. I feel really great.
I'm really grateful. I got to see a bunch of shit.
I mean people will talk about like, uh, I know,
people will like bring up a place and I'd be like, yeah,
I think I've been to Denver like five fucking times
at this point, and like, uh, it's cool, it's great.
(31:17):
If you've never done it, union you should go see shit.
You know, if you're listening to this and you're like,
you know, twenty, you should be going. You should be
in a different place and where you are right now
tomorrow if you can.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
If if I was fucking twenty right now and I
have had have the knowledge that I have right now,
I would totally go do some shit like that. Yeah,
everybody can say that at any point in their life
and whatever. But yeah, if you're twenty listening to this
(31:51):
right now, you should, and you want to go do
something somewhere else, you should. You should go to the.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Fucking bro go to the Canary Eye Islands and hang
out with that cave guy.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Oh dude, I saw that. I was like thinking that,
like it wasn't like an actual like cave cave. Like
I was thinking, like maybe they were like retrofitted, they
have people in there or something.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
You see it.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I posted it. I posted on Instagram because he he
dm y my cave. He fucking lives in a cave, Dude,
I might. I don't. I don't want to bring this
up on the podcast. Well, I mean I'm going to.
I don't know why I'm saying. I'm an idiot, but uh,
in the back of my head, I'm like, should I
go to the fucking Canary Islands and film something with
this guy. I don't maybe I will. I don't want
to commit to that right now, but it's in the
(32:39):
back of my head. I'm posting. I'm posting like a
little clip of it tomorrow. But you know that cave
I saw of that cave guy, and I was like, God,
he made an Instagram and people, and I think I
got a d M from somebody who was like, yo,
I d M the cave guy, And now me and
him are talking. So I think I think he's made.
(33:00):
I think he's about to like start a commune off
this fucking podcast episode, or at least start like a
cave guy thing. I don't know, power to him. I
think that's I think he's doing a really cool fucking thing.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Absolutely, man, I don't remember what his name was, but
I was listening to that. I listened to that episode
and that was just like super inspiring. I don't know,
it's just fucking like crazy, that's amazing. I don't know
if I necessarily want to live in a cave.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
But like, I don't know if I necessarily want to
live in a cave either, but he uh, I think
that guy will have a cool. Well, I mean, he
already has a cool life. He lives in a he's
like the way he described it, he's like living the
way that you know humans fucking lived, uh, you know,
in tribes or whatever, you know, just hanging out. Yeah,
(33:55):
very very paleolithic. I'm pretending like I know what that
word when you said, when you said it's very paleolithic,
I had in my mind an educated guess of what
you were trying to say. So maybe I do know
what paleolithic means vaguely if you asked me to, just
if you dive further into that, I couldn't define paleolithic.
(34:18):
But I have in my head what you what I
think you mean when you say that, And I think
that's right.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
But I think, uh, I think I was using that
word right.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
But it's like I think you were too. Who care?
You were? Who cares?
Speaker 1 (34:29):
So don't look at up.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Yeah cave shit. Yeah, well we're talking about the cave guys,
this cave ship.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
He's living, he's living a cave life. He lives in
a cave rory. Yes, wile I've enjoyed talking to you,
I feel like I'm this is a weird this podcast
I don't know what this podcast started as. This started as,
but it's now become it's become therapy for I mean,
(34:58):
it's always been therapy for me. I don't know what. Yeah,
you know what. Thanks for talking to me about this
stuff because I'm I feel a lot of what you're
talking about. And don't kill yourself. I'm not gonna kill myself.
I'm not. We're not. Yeah, we're gonna be fine. No
(35:19):
one's gonna kill themselves. Everything's gonna be fine. No one's
gonna yet. No, we're all gonna be fine. Rory, and
we're all gonna be fine. That's why I'm taking away
from this. I feel like we're I feel like we're
(35:40):
talking this conversation. I feel like you and I are
like on the like we both can't sleep at a
sleepover kind of a conversation and we're talking on the
fucking we're talking on our friends, Like, uh, what's not addict?
Why am I thinking? Porch? Yeah, we're talking about porch.
(36:03):
It's a very porch conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, it's a good one. It's good. Oh go ahead,
Oh is there anything else I want to say?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah, that's all I was gonna say.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah, I feel like there's I've like, I've like, I
feel like I've practiced this moment and now like I
can't remember any of that ship that I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Say, don't you don't practice there is? What do you
feel right? What's in your pops into your head?
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Definitely? Definitely everything gets better. It sucks though, you gotta
work really hard, but it's totally fucking worth it to
make change in your life that's positive. And yeah, uh
also start a fucking band and listen to Slayer. That's uh, yeah,
(37:00):
that's it.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Rory for ten thousand years. Thank you for calling, sir.
I'll I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Yank for one hundred thousand years. Love you by, don't
kill yourself you either, love you bye.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
I love you too, Rory. Goddamn fuck shit, fuck, We're
all gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be fine. That was
a good call. That was a good call. Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3 (37:28):
What's up? Oh my gosh, hey buddy, how's it going.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It's going good man. What's your name?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
My name is nick? Uh, your name is Lyle?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Right, my name is Lyle. Have we spoken before?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yick?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
No, No, I've been a long time listener.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Though, cool cool man, Um, yeah, how's your how's your
name going?
Speaker 3 (37:59):
It's going pretty good. I'm well currently studying for exam,
but I needed a break anyway. So yeah, I'm a
twenty two year old college student.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
So busy is.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
A little busy bee?
Speaker 2 (38:19):
What do you what's the exam? What are you being
examined to do?
Speaker 3 (38:25):
It's on cancer perspective, So yeah, I'm learning about cancer
right now. I'm I'm aspiring radiation therapist.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Whoa, that's uh, that fucking is awesome. That's such a
real job. Why do I keep saying that I do?
Is I keep saying that all the time. I think
I say that all the time because I'm a talking Internet.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Get go, And I think that's a real job too.
That's for sure, a real job.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
That's debatable, but I mean it's yeah, sure, sure it produces.
I pay taxes. I think if you pay, you have
a real job. I think if you pay, yeah, sure.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
If you're paying taxes, you're contributing to society.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Though.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
You know, I'll accept that. I'll accept that as just.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
And you help out from what I listened to, you
help out a lot of people, and that that concert
or something.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Well, thanks, man. I mean I'm not curing cancer, but
you know, I'm trying my best. Yeah, so what's either
tell me? I mean, tell me more about cancer. Sounds bad?
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, cancer is horrible, man. I shadowed a couple of places,
and there's like some some cases are like not too bad,
like people catch it early, and then some cases are like,
oh my gosh, like I don't even want to talk
about some some stuff. But you know, it's a reality
(40:05):
of this world, which is uh something I don't know, but.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I'm fucking randomly catching cancer and dying.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Well it's not even like a lot of cancer has
to do with like something that happens over times, but
it can also be like a genetic thing, like some
people are just born with like leukemia, which is like, oh,
it's so bad. But you know, there's a lot of
(40:38):
like the way that like technology is going, there's a
big like there's such a huge reduction and death of cancer,
and like the fight against cancer is real. You know,
one day I'm sure that, yeah, one day I'm sure
that like there will be a cure and I'm hopeful
for that and I want to contribute to that.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
So pretty good, Pretty good? Yeah, yeah, let's you know what,
I think this is good. I think fighting cancer is
good and cancer is bad. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(41:21):
what's yeah? Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead,
go ahead.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
What was your question?
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I was gonna ask what your life was like outside
of cancer?
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Oh yeah, well right now, I'm working a job to
pay the bills. I'm living with my girlfriend, and yeah,
it's it's life, you know. Like I'm at that age,
like twenty two where you gotta gotta pick pick up
on your responsibilities and like stay ahead on things. And
(41:59):
I'm I'm working on myself as a human being, like
I I've been. I started journaling. I at least journal
a couple of times a week, and it's helped me
because it kind of like feeds me or like it
sees me into reality sometimes, you know, like you get
so caught up in your head and like, uh, when
(42:22):
I journal, it's like I think it's like peak human
experience sometimes because like if you think about it, like
every creature in this universe doesn't have hands or thumbs
to write down their thoughts or even like realize that
their thoughts are real, you know, So I think it
helps me out a lot journaling.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Whoa, Yeah, it's true, Like a fucking dog can't journal,
So journaling it's one of the most human things you
could do. I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess I
guess you could say the same. I guess you could.
I guess you could apply that daddy. I guess you
could say, open it. You could apply that logic to
most things. You could say that, like opening a jar
of pickles is the most human thing you could do,
(43:05):
but it is. It's a very human thing to open
a jar of pickles.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Yeah, like even cave like if you think about it, caveman,
or like big journals, like they're they're like right in
mammoths on the walls and like they don't have a language,
but they still like get it down, you know they do.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
What would you journal about today?
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Today? I haven't gotten a journal. I had a physics
course that I went to and uh, it was kind
of brain boggling and just been super busy. I woke
up this morning after like I worked the whole weekend.
I'm an Amazon delivery driver, and I listened to your
(43:53):
podcast a lot on like the road is really really
really relaxing, and it gets my the nice thing about
podcast is like you can be doing anything and listen
to it and just forget that you're working or have
some situation. So are grateful to you and.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
That, Oh thanks man, thanks man, your So you're working?
How many hours a week? Or are you working? You're working?
Angle in to school? Man?
Speaker 1 (44:22):
How long?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
How you really are fucking you know? I have a
lot of responsibilities. How often are you working?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Typically it's one time or what just on like Sundays.
But I picked up a shift this weekend because I
called out sick last weekend. I'm like, oh, I need
to make up somehow, make up some money somehow, So
I picked up a shift on Saturday. So I'm working
(44:53):
approximately like ten to twenty hours a week.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
And then how often are you in school and stuff
being and ship? Uh?
Speaker 3 (45:02):
I have to be in class for I have two
in persons and one online. So like, I'm a transfer
student this year and I am. I got like a
lot of my prerecs out of the way and all
the things. So it's kind of a lighter courseload, which
is why I can work more. So but soon I'm
(45:25):
gonna I'm so excited I'm going to be transitioning to
like a hospital, to actually get some real like healthcare
work and a hospital setting. So I'm super excited for
that because like Amazon is fun. But okay, I wouldn't
say it's.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Fun, but I was about to say. I was about
to say, I've never heard someone who drives for Amazon,
uh saite describe it as uh particularly fun.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
No, it's it's not fun, but like it's actually pretty
pretty sweet gig if you think about it. Because you're
like on the road and if you're in a vehicle
that's not like video recording you at twenty four to seven, Like,
so you don't get dinged for distracted driving. You can
like jam out some to some tunes, or you can
(46:18):
like you stay active. You're like walking up and down.
I like to be active, so like it keeps me
on my feet. And if I didn't have bunions, I
wouldn't be so upset about it. But you know, sing
bunions suck. I hope you never get them.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
What I have multiple questions. There are cam you have
cameras that record you while you drive.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
Oh yeah, they got Like there's just so if you're
passing an Amazon driver, do not cut in front of
them because they're gonna get in trouble because like you
can get dinged for like just weird things like if
someone cuts off cuts you off, like you get dinged
(47:06):
and it gets sent to your boss and then you
have to talk to you. If you speed, you get dinged.
Or if you're eating or looking at your phone, will
drive and you get dinged. So it's kind of an
advanced system. Like I get why it's in place to
like protect and everything, but I can make things difficult sometimes.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
What are bunyans bunions?
Speaker 3 (47:30):
It's like when bunyons it's more of a recent development.
I've always had feet issues, but a bunion is like
you know that ball of your foot next to your
big toe, the ball the big toe kind of like
juts out a bit.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Like oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
Inward that like when that grows out too much, it
starts hurting, you know, like it's like a joint pain almost,
but it I think it's not. It's only has to
do with like when I wear shoes without like arch support,
which is kind of hard to find these days. But yeah,
(48:11):
bunyon it it hurts when I walk, but it's manageable.
You know. Some people have to get surgery, like to
fix that stuff. Like I a foot surgeon came into
my class one year since for like a healthcare class.
A foot surgeon just like went over like a presentation
(48:33):
about like different feet surgeries and stuff.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
So well, I tell me about your girlfriend, how do
you meet her?
Speaker 3 (48:43):
Oh? So it's kind of funny that like the last
lady uh talked about Tinder and I actually found my
girlfriend on Tinder too. We went to the same college
and we are back when before I transferred. We went
to the same college and I was sitting I remember
(49:05):
this moment so clearly. I was like I was sitting
in like have you ever heard of Einstein Bagels?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yeah, I know where that is.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Yeah, it's like a bagel shop. And I was eating
a chocolate chip bagel with honey almond Oh what honey
almond cream cheese spread. And I got a ding like
I matched with someone on Tinder. Because this was like
at the very beginning of my tender expedition. I guess
(49:38):
like given him a shot and I matched with this
super cute lady and I'm like I text my friend like,
oh dude, I got I go to match bro, and
he's like, oh, go go take shoot your shot, you know,
And I did, and.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
I met her.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
It was during finals week and I went to the
library to study with her, and then she uh took
she like showed me her apartment and she played the
guitar for me, and we just it was a very
nice date. And we just kept seeing each other and
it grew and it blossomed into something really nice. We've
(50:18):
been together for like two years now.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
So, man, you got you got a nice fucking life. Brother,
you got a nice I like you. Man, what's your
name again?
Speaker 3 (50:29):
My name is Nick or Nico. Nico's my Spanish name.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Nico. You're you're you're a fucking outstanding citizen.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Nico, You're outstanding.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Hold On, hold on, hold on. I don't know why
I'm I'm like, I'm filled with It's gonna sound insane,
but I'm feeling I'm filled with I'm filled with joy
for you right now. Nico, You're just a real just
a real hold on, let me say this real quick.
You're a real part. You have a a nice girlfriend,
you live in a play, you deliver packages, you're solving cancer,
(51:04):
you're twenty two, You're just I don't know, you're a
real if I could send a human being to be like,
this is what, this is a this is a guy,
This is a person. This is a twenty two year
old human male living in society in twenty twenty five this,
and we send them to aliens or a histographer. You're
(51:25):
a guy. You're a just a real fucking American, fucking
real guy. And I'm not I hope I don't sound
like I'm being facetious right now. I hope I'm accurately expressing.
I believe just the feeling that I have for you
listening to you in your life. And I'm not blowing
smoke up your ass. I know it sounds like I am,
(51:46):
but I'm I just in my gut, I'm like, you're
you're a fucking You're a good guy, Nico. I don't
know you that well, but you're a good guy.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I I uh So. The thing about being a good
person I feel is like it's it's not basically you're
you're born. It's not that you're just born a good person, right,
Like of course everyone's born with a personality, but I've
honestly just been super blessed with like the way I
(52:19):
was raised, Like my parents are like I was raising
a small village. I got to play outside with the neighbors,
like I have like a somewhat normal childhood, like I
I it's not just like I try to think of
it as like if anyone was born in my shoes,
(52:41):
they'd probably turn out just as well. It's not better
than me, and I try and keep that perspective when
like that are bad in people, Like everyone has potential
to be a good person. But I think I've just
kind of got got really I hit the jackpot with
my like family and friends in life. So it's it.
(53:08):
I don't know, like you're You're a good guy in
my eyes, and I try to like few people like
with optimism, I guess because I I've also come to
like a conclusion with like since I was raised with
like so much love and joy, I need to, like
(53:31):
it's my duty, as like a person who is blessed
with something like that to like try and continue this
path and continue dot that energy. You know, I want
to I want to continue that to.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
Get I want to I want to kill such a
good guy. I just want to kill you. I don't
know why I said that, but that's how you're such
a good guy.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
I want to strangle I'll learn some self defense and
I'll strangle you back that I do want to learn
some boxing. That would be awesome.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Yeah, it's funny. It's funny. I mean, yeah, that whole yeah,
the whole thing of like, uh yeah, there's no yeah,
of course, anyone who was born anyone who's was born
from your mother's vagina would have been you. Not you specifically,
(54:32):
but whoever you are, so you know, yeah, I don't know.
There's no real reason why anyone is anyone, but it's
it's true. But anyway, what I don't know, I don't
want to you're I don't funk that. I hate that.
Existential rants I mean, I hate it right now, but I.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Think existentialism is pretty cool to think about.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
I want to kill you, nko.
Speaker 3 (55:00):
It is.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
It's cool to think about. But you don't want to.
You don't want to get You don't want to be
too existential. You want to like the like the last
guy said where he was I think I caught on
to but the last guy was saying, I don't know
if I specifically did, but where It's like life is
a series of going to the store and forgetting you
got that you're supposed to get bananas, like that's you
want to you want like existential thought. I think in
(55:23):
a healthy human being should consume a small portion of
the pie chart, and you should mainly be thinking about
like the real the life that you're I mean, you live,
you don't. Your life, from what you've told me, is
like you know, driving for Amazon, being with your girlfriend,
doing being in like you know, radiation therapy is like
(55:45):
you're living. You're living in your life a lot. You're
not spending all day in crazy existential thoughts. Existential Maybe
you are. I don't know, you're right. I shouldn't have.
I shouldn't have you know you're right. Driving for Amazon,
probably it does give you a lot of time to
think about the meaning of life and ship. I should
What are you thinking about when you're in these existential thoughts.
Speaker 3 (56:09):
Especially, like like you said, like when you're in Amazon,
driving in silent all to day, you do sometimes have
to think, like I'm I'm in a very joyous mood too,
because I'm talking to you right now. So like I've
been listening to you for a long time. I've been
really trying to get on the podcast eventually so that
(56:30):
that might be why you're thinking, I'm such a joyous dude.
But when I'm on like on our ten of my
Amazon shift and I'm like grumpy, I haven't gotten to
eat anything, I'm like sometimes it just brings out like
the existential thing that you talk about, and it takes
(56:51):
me to Like when I think about existential, I think
about like like I think about like there's a list
of things like God, the past, the future, and like
spiritualism or like physics or like virtual reality simulation, like
(57:17):
have you heard of the double split or double slit experiment,
or like Schrodinger's cat.
Speaker 2 (57:26):
Yeah, sure, I know what Schrodinger's cat.
Speaker 4 (57:27):
Is like.
Speaker 3 (57:31):
Since I'm kind of a physics thueve, I like to
look into the stuff like that and and I'll listen
to like podcasts on that and it just takes me
so out of it. But I don't know. Existential is
like it's a unique human experience in my opinion, like
(57:53):
most most animals live off of like instinct or like, oh,
I need to pro create because that's what life is,
like growth and going forward. But as assuming you get
some more advanced like oh God, or like spiritualism, Like
(58:14):
I think that is such a unique thing for us.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
But I could be wrong.
Speaker 3 (58:18):
Maybe dolphins think about that.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
I think I'm kind of swimming.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
I'm kind of all over the place, like I didn't
think when I talk to people, I just jump around
to random things.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
Nico you I really you have. You never need to
apologize for anything ever for the rest of your life.
You're a great human Yes, I do a great human being,
Nicole was It was good talking to me. Man, is
is there any Is there anything else you want to
say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4 (58:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (58:54):
Maybe just try and have perspective. Like I'm not telling
anyone what to do, but like like I said, like
if you were if anyone was born in the shoes,
if someone pissed you off that day and you were
born in their shoes, you would probably puts yourself off
to you know, Like we're trying to have some perspective.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all. We're all. We're all probably
each other. I think.
Speaker 3 (59:24):
We're all. We're all one being. If you think about it.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
We all drive for Amazon.
Speaker 3 (59:32):
We all feel we all drive for Amazon and to
be the slave of a capitalistic society that we did
not choose to be born into so like imagine being
born as a someone in Africa, just like living in
a tribe, and or like.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
Sorry, go ahead and go ahead ahead.
Speaker 3 (59:54):
No, I'm just kind of rambling because I was talking
to you.
Speaker 2 (59:58):
I was going to say, I was going to say,
when you started this call talking about cancer, I was like,
I don't think this can get any more depressing. I'm
glad that we start both started and ended on a
depressing note. Yeah, but I still think you're still I
still fucking think you're the greatest human being that I
have ever encountered. And I might not be being facetious about.
Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
That, No I'm not. I've heard splin like that cave dude.
Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Wait, we can't all be the cave dude. We can't
all be.
Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
The gave dude.
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
I just keep bringing up the cave dude.
Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Every every call. I'll talk to you later, Nico.
Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Thank you, Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
I have a good one. Bye.
Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
Hello, Oh my god, Hello.
Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Lyle, what's up? How's life?
Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
Oh my god? No, this is actually like kind of crazy.
I've cooled so many times over the last few weeks
because I'll started like, I've known about you for years now,
but when I met my boyfriend recently. He was like,
we drove down to like the south of England and
he was like, let's let's put something on the card.
I really want to listen to music. Let's like listen
(01:01:14):
to this therapy Gecko And I was like, oh, I've
heard of him. He's like yeah, I listened to him
while I'm welding and doing my work and I was like,
oh cool. And I've just been like listening to you
every day for the last like four months now. It's
so I love it. It's very interesting listening to people talk
about their experiences and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Fuck yeah, thanks, crazy. It's it's always sick to hear
that people who are listening to this outside of the States.
Where where in the UK are you from? I've been,
I've been there.
Speaker 4 (01:01:44):
I'm I'm at university at the minute. I'm in Birmingham,
which is like Midlands West Midlands, but I'm from near
Cambridge originally, so I'm like three hours away from home.
Uh yeah, I'm actually like so shocks right now? This
is crazy?
Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
How is Universe a good way?
Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
How's university?
Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
It's really good? It was good. This is my first year.
I'm only nineteen so this is my first year at university.
It's really good. It is really good.
Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
I used to live.
Speaker 4 (01:02:18):
In like a was it like I grew up in
like a little town. Not town. There's a little village
in the middle of nowhere with like a few, like
less than a thousand people. I want to say, so
like coming this is like Birmingham's the second biggest city
in the UK. So this is like kind of crazy
for me that there's so much to do.
Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
It's mental not knowing everyone, But what the hell this is?
Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
This is so cool?
Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
How do you say your name? What did you say?
Your name was?
Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
Isabelle?
Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Isabelle, well, Isabelle. It's it's totally cool. If not, I
can just ask you random things. But is there anything
in particular that you wanted to talk about today? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
I wanted to. I've had a lot of people talk
about like the dating apps and stuff like that, and
I always talk about my experience with that. I feel
like it's quite interesting, well not like interesting interesting. I'm
not like some I don't know. I feel like I'm
talking about that that many like crazy stories to tell,
like that guy the cave guy. That's awesome, and as
(01:03:22):
I last I brought them bring that up again. Oh
that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
Shout hey man, listen, listen, listen. I don't want everyone
ever not everyone's gonna start calling into this podcast and
being like, well, I'm not as interesting as the cave guy. Look,
you don't have to always be as interesting as the
cave guy. We can't or I'm not as interesting as
the cave guy. We can't all be as interesting as
the cave guys. I don't.
Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
I don't live the life.
Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
I don't think I could either. I don't think I
could either. I couldn't ship in the cave. Well, actually
I could shop the cave once, but I don't think
I could do it every day. But you don't. You
don't have to be as interesting as the cave guy.
Speaker 4 (01:03:59):
Do you know you know in Italy? You know Mount.
Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Etuas uh No, I haven't heard of it. I mean Italy,
like you.
Speaker 4 (01:04:06):
Know, you know, you know, like Pompeii. Obviously it's the
volcanoes that like killed everyone, well, like the Romans and
stuff like that. We went there when I was like
twelve or thirteen in the school trip and I ship
on the mountain and it felt like I don't know,
not like Italian or anything. Baba. Yeah, this is kind
of like payback for killing all those people in Pompeii.
(01:04:28):
I don't know, random thought there go yeah on the mountains.
Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Yeah, okay, so you wanted to talk about your dating
app experiences.
Speaker 4 (01:04:37):
Yeah, I don't know, it's just I don't know. Me
and my friends, I felt like this is a very
common thing, but people obviously, like some people like downloaded
for certain reasons. But me and my friends were just like, oh,
let's let's do it as a joke and kind of
see what happens. And then it went really well. And
now I've got a boyfriend, so it's quite cool. But
(01:04:58):
I went on quite a few dates before meeting him,
but I'm glad it kind of works out for the better.
Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Yeah, that's great. I mean, how many how many dates
did you go on before you met your boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
Like three? I want to say, I want to say
really often, money, but I want to say three. I
literally I downloaded it in November, and then I met
my boyfriend in January, the end of January, and then
we got together after like a month, and now with
chill in this.
Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Year, that's pretty good. Okay, I'm going to say something,
and you might be offended by it, but it is
my guttural reaction to what you're telling me right now.
Speaker 4 (01:05:36):
Yep, Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
I feel like it's so much easier to meet your
boyfriend after three dates when you're nineteen because and this
is the part where you're going to get offended, is
because I think when you're nineteen, you're like, like, your
(01:05:59):
who you are as a person is developed, like a
little bit of course by that time, yeah, but like
compared to like when you're twenty nine or some shit, right,
you're you're a little bit less develops. So I think
you're I think you're a little bit more willing at
nineteen to be like, this guy is nice to me,
(01:06:22):
and I find him attractive, and that's those are that's
a that's column A and column b, you know. And
then as you get older, you start being like, well,
I want someone who has a little bit of this,
and I you know, my life is like this, and
I want someone whose life is a little bit like
this and this and the other thing. And so you
start getting narrowing things down, you get more specific with
(01:06:43):
what you need, you know. But I feel like when
you're yeah, when you're like in college, it's like they're
attractive and they're chill and that's it. Yeah, so and
you can and you can find that in not that
many dates.
Speaker 4 (01:07:00):
No, I don't. Yeah, I completely agree with you.
Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
I know.
Speaker 4 (01:07:04):
I know for a fact, I'm not like fully cognitively
like developed. He obviously you don't get that. You don't
get to that point. So you're like, what mid twenties
and even then, like you're always like.
Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
I don't think, I don't know humans. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:07:16):
If you're always learning, you're always learning. I can always
feel like that age, I still feel like I'm like
twelve years old. Mentally, I'm like I still have the
same interest. So I'm like, oh, I'm just a woman now.
I guess kind of not really, but I'm just kind
of living in the city and I'm meeting all these
people and stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
But I get that also, you know, I have have fun,
have a good time in your life. Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:07:44):
Yeah, go ahead, yeah, crazy, I'm trying to think, like,
I don't know, do you want to ask me some questions?
I feel like I've like thought, I've thought about this moment.
It's quite a few times, and I'm like, what if
I what do I want to talk about? But I
feel like I'm gonna let you question me and I
can kind of ramble essentially.
Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
Sure, Sure I can question you. What I mean, what
do you what do you study?
Speaker 4 (01:08:11):
Oh? So, uh, I'm doing currently. I'm doing it like
a thing called a foundation year before university. So it's
not like it's like one year where you basically like
do like a course. So I'm doing media production at
my course right now, So I do a year of
that and you basically get like trains and all these
different like audio and like video equipment. You learn you
(01:08:34):
learn how to do like podcasts and stuff like that
and live TV and also have to make like short
films and do like presentations. Because it's like it's meant
to be like a starting thing to introduce people to university,
because some people just do it as like like you
get like a qualification out of it, but it's not
like the same level as like an actual university degree.
It's just like you get experience from it and then
(01:08:56):
you can kind of go and do whatever university of
course you want to do. So like there's other people
on my court who are doing completely different things to
be like sports marketing and stuff like that. They'll be
doing that next year, well this September, But I'm meant
to be doing filmmaking. But I've had a revelation recently
that I'm like, nah, I kind of want to just
do media production because not that it's difficult to get
(01:09:18):
into the film industry, but obviously it's difficult to get
into it.
Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
But I'm sorry, I'm sorry I have to interrupt you.
What is the difference between filmmaking and media production? Somaking?
Speaker 4 (01:09:33):
No, no, no, no, it's a completely valid question. Like
with filmmaking, you are literally just like you're studying films,
you're writing about them, and you like create them, and
then you you are just basically working on stuff in
the film industry, so you're working on like production. You
learn how to write like scripts, you learn how to direct,
produce to like sound editing and stuff like that. But
(01:09:54):
with media production, that's like all kind of versions of
like media in a sense. So like obviously like like
a podcast is completely different to a film, Like that's
completely different, like different kind of ways of going about it.
And I would be learning like just loads of different things,
and I'd be learning like different kinds of software and stuff.
(01:10:15):
I just feel like it's better to be versed in
lots and lots of different things and have like a
broad knowledge on stuff than kind of honeing in one thing.
And like I didn't, I didn't. I wasn't originally going
to go to university. Like the last my last like
the last year has kind of been a bit wild
for me. But I'm kind of glad that I'm at
this point where I'm like, you know what, I've realized
(01:10:37):
that maybe I should do this course, and it's glad
that I've kind of learned these things. I know, I'm
still young and stuff like that. Everyone makes mistakes and whatever,
but I've thought about it and I'm like, yeah, let's
just continue with media production. That would be fun. And
like the people here is cooled. Birmingham is a really
creative city. Like it's a bit dodgy in some areas,
(01:10:59):
don't get me wrong, like what every city is, but
it's really fun. I've met some great people here.
Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
It's really good, Isabelle, Is there anything else I say
to the people of the computer before.
Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
They go, don't give up on your dreams and don't
let don't let people tell you what you can and
can't do in your life. And just because you're young, obviously,
don't make crazy, crazy decisions. But everyone's young and they
make silly, silly decisions. Just live life, have fun, and
(01:11:35):
I don't know, don't get any stupid tattoos or anything
like that. I've got stuper tattoos. Don't do that. Just
be normal or not normal, but have fun.
Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
I guess pretty good.
Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
H I'll see you if I ever come to Binghamton, Birmingham.
Speaker 4 (01:11:52):
Yes, Birmingham.
Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
Thank you, le.
Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
Have a good night.
Speaker 3 (01:11:58):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
I sucked it up. Why Binghamton, Birmingham, Birmingham. You know,
I think people have told me I should go to Birmingham.
There's all these like places. There's a Bristol, Birmingham, Cardiff.
I've never been that. I've been to Brighton, London, Manchester.
(01:12:23):
I like the UK though. The UK is a cool place.
Maybe I'll go Maybe I'll go there again. I'm sure
I'll go there again at some point in my life
to walk around and look at things which I which
I which I often enjoyed, enjoyed to do. Thank you
all for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast I'm Lyle,
(01:12:45):
I'm a gecko. Uh do I have any final thoughts?
What do we learn? I don't know if we learned anything.
We talked to Rory, Isabelle, and Nico, and I liked
talking to all of them. I like getting to talk
to people, and I like that people listen to people
(01:13:07):
talking and it's good. And that's all I got until
next time. Get Out never goes on the line taking
your phone calls. Every night, the repon goes doing to ride.
He's teaching you about in the middle of your life
that he's not ready an expert
Hello, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey? What's up?
Speaker 3 (00:02):
Man?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
What's your name?
Speaker 1 (00:03):
I'm Rory. Nice to talk to you, man. This is
fucking crazy.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It's nice to talk to you too. Man. Have we
have we spoken before?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
No? This is my first time kick.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Ass rock and roll? Who are you, Rory?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I'm a I'm a little dude. I'm a little I
don't know, I'm a man. This is so crazy. I
just did not even think i'd get on the phone.
I don't know, man, I'm a guy. I own a lizard.
I'm going to a show later. Do you know who
(00:42):
mount Eerie is?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Mount Erie?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yeah, it's like really weird like sad music and I'm
super excited for it.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
What what is it about mount Erie that appeals to you?
What is it about the sad music that appeals to you?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I don't know. It's like just so intense m hm
and uh. A lot of it's kind of like it
kind of writes a lot about it, like a lot
of bullshit, but a lot of it's just like so
like stule crushing that it's just it's like an experience.
I don't know, and I've never seen him live and
I'm really excited.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Do you find that listening to sad depressing music makes
you feel better or worse because it's a bit it's
a mixed bag.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I really, man, I can talk about this for like ever,
but I really I don't know. It's kind of it
kind of just depends. Like I'm a fan of like
lots of crazy shit, Like I'm a fan of lots
of music that's just like orderline unlistenable because it's just
(01:56):
so intense. I don't know, Like music is just a
thing that not to get all like I don't know
what's the word emotional or whatever about it, but like
music is just a thing that like there's so much
(02:18):
opportunity for people to just like express the craziest, the
craziest fucking shit that you can that you can't otherwise.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You know, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's totally just like a normal thing anybody can get
from that. But like listening to like sad music is
like if it's done right, it's like and it connects
with you in a way. It's like you can feel
things you've never felt or sending with like angry music,
Like I love a lot of angry music and also
happy music too, Like I love I'm a sound guy
(02:52):
and at the I was working this show the other
night with like some like I don't know, there wasn't
really like punk bands. I guess they're like hard rock bands.
But I was playing like for the house music between
the bands, you know, I'm playing like stuff like that
and people are yelling and screaming and stuff. But when
(03:15):
it was like dawn, I had to put on Demiroquai.
And sometimes I'll put on just like just like amazing
gospel and funk and stuff just to like it's just
I have to clear the air though, like if I'm
around too much. But I don't know if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
But what what is you said, Demiroquai? What is that?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
You know the scene at the end of Napoleon Dynamite
where he's dancing.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I vaguely, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's like that. It's like that's that's the guy that
he was dancing too.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Mmm do you? I mean, do you? It's interesting. I was.
I remember about a little over a year or ago.
I was really uh sad, and I woke up one
day at like seven in the morning and it was
snowing out, and I walked down the street in the
(04:14):
snow in New York and I listened to a bunch
of Simon and Garfunkel. I listened to the Only Living
Boy in New York, which is what you know. Here's
the thing, and I want to say this. At the time,
it absolutely made me feel more depressed. Listening to the
(04:36):
Only Living Boy in New York while being depressed in
New York. Will it will make you more depressed. But
when I look back on the scene of me being
depressed walking through the snow listening to Only Living Boy
in New York, it's kind. There's it's it is romantic,
I would say, looking at it from that point of view,
(04:57):
But I don't know if it made me feel better.
Whereas convert if I listen what did I fucking you know,
when you listen to like, uh, I'm gonna sound like
an that, when you listen to like upbeat, like what
like fucking rap music or like rock or whatever, like
you feel you feel good, You feel like, Okay, you're alive,
something's happening, you know. I've never I don't know if
(05:19):
I actively feel I feel I think, yeah, it's sad music.
It puts me too too deep in my emotions, which
maybe you don't want to feel all the time, you.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Know, But like not all the time? Do I want
to listen to like happy upbeat stuff, you know? Yeah,
Like it's kind of I don't know. Like one of
my favorite musicians is uh or just songwriters is Elliott Smith.
(05:51):
I don't know if you're familiar with him, but he's
that's like a very sad guy. And I'll listen to
that stuff when I'm not sad, you know, because.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
He he was he was in a band, right.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
He had a band called Heat miser okay, and then
he did his solo stuff after that. He might have
some more stuff in between there, but.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Uh, yeah, I think uh I used to Uh, there's
there's this comedian Chris Gethard who's talked about Elliott Smith before.
Did he he didn't see he's not in the cure?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Is he?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Is that a different person?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
No, that's Robert Smith.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Oh okay, all right, that's a good guy. But are
you Are you sad? Often? I?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You know, I used to be like just miserable all
the time. And yeah, and I don't feel as like
when I get when the things come up that like
or like when a feeling comes up and I feel
(07:00):
like how I felt like a couple of years ago,
I'm like surprised now and it's like kind of crazy,
why are you?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Why are you not miserable every day anymore?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I had lots of like outside pressures on me for
like lots of things. I don't know, Like I was
in two relationships that were really terrible I had. I
went to like a weird sort of college prep high school,
and then I went to this like very prestigious college
(07:38):
and couldn't fucking handle it and it was like miserable.
And then I was like working as a house painter
and that was like, I mean, it's cool. I like
would have been my uncle, but it was just like
this sucks, like what am I doing? And then and
then I had a lot of like I think I
kind of just like proved to myself that I could
(08:00):
like do things for myself and I could like do
things that were like self affirming and uh and I
don't know, and I just kind of I started like
taking better care of myself. And you talked about a
lot about journaling. I was like journaling. I was writing.
(08:21):
I was like making music. I was like making making
art and not really doing anything with it, but just
like having it. And then I got like I went
back to school, I got a degree in something I
was interested in and interested in, and then like, I
don't know, I just kind of now now I'm now
(08:46):
I'm like miserable in a way where it's like like fuck,
I'm not doing all the things that like I should
be doing that like I want to be doing, and
uh it's like a it's like a different kind of
like it's like a I was I saw this thing
about like with with desire comes suffering, and I want
(09:10):
I want to say I'm like suffering, but like I
have desires and like it's I'm not like where I
want to be, so it's like kissing me off.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Al yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm the same. I'm not
where I want to be either, and I I I
also feel desire strongly and uh yeah yeah, desire. Yeah,
desire is suffering. I think a lot of my suffering
is probably due to desire. Like you look at your
(09:41):
life and it's like not where you want it to be,
and so you're you're like making yourself suffer. And I
don't know, there's two schools of thought on well, there's
probably many schools of thought on it, but uh, you know,
whatever there's a school of thought of like, okay, well,
then to you you want, you got to get what
you want, or you got to remove the desire or
(10:03):
not desire so much. I don't know. I don't know
how to deal with that conundrum. That's a conundrum I'm
dealing with myself significantly often. What what but you're less miserable,
You're less miserable. What is it? What is it about
your life it's making you less miserable.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I think I had a lot of change all at once,
and it was like positive change, and I had a
I mean, this might sound super fucking cheesy and go
for it. I don't know, it's kind of weird to
like share this in front of a bunch of people.
(10:44):
I had this like I had a breakup that kind
of like destroyed my sense of self a little bit.
And I think that was like kind of like the
something I needed something to kind of like be like, yo, dude,
are you kind of fucking I don't know, need to
(11:07):
like work on some stuff and uh yeah. And then
I went to I used to like better help for
a little bit and I was talking to this guy
named Zachary, who was like really amazing and he really
helped me, and he like told me like, uh, the journal,
and he told me to have this like.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Disclaimer, I did not pay this guy to call in. Okay, continue,
I was gonna say that.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I didn't mean to, Like no.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
No, no, no, no, I want to I actually want to
hear hear more about this. You got you got you
talk to a guy and he got you to journal.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah. I just had this Like I meant this or
didn't meet him. I just I fucking paid this that
online service to like I was just kind of like desperate,
like I didn't know and like, but I randomly like
got matched with this guy and we had he we
had like so much in common. It was really weird.
And he told me, Uh, we did a lot of
(12:05):
I don't even like really specifically remember like what we did.
For like the we did some like cognitive behavioral therapy
stuff where like when you get like a yeah, when
like someone like a certain idea or a certain thing
you have like comes up, just like immediately try to
negate it. And it was like really fucking difficult. But
(12:27):
I was going through all that stuff at the same
time that I was like I started uh school again
and I went back to I went back to college
and I went to music school, and and I like,
I don't know, now I work in the industry, and
I'm like it was just crazy. It was just kind
(12:50):
of like for like three years or so, I just
things kept like accumulating, and I kept being like, Wow,
I can do that, I can do that, And of
course it was like I don't know a fucking shit.
Things that are like really fucking hard and you have
to like work really hard, and like I'm not anywhere
near where I want to be, And like tonight the
(13:12):
show that I'm going to, my friend is doing sound
for them, and my and uh, their girlfriend got me
the job at the venue that uh all three of
us work at, and oh my god, like them two
there's so much better than I am at doing this ship.
(13:34):
And it's like, so I'm gonna go there tonight and
I'm just gonna try to, like, you know, talk to
them and see what's like, Hey, what are you doing
for this? But it's like, yeah, it's really fucking hard,
Like everything is always really hard, but like I just
kind of got so fucking sick of like feeling shitty,
(13:58):
and uh, I don't know, I just pushed. Something just
snapped and I pushed myself. And I know it's like
easier to say, it's easier to say than to do,
but I I don't know, it's just, uh, it kind
of like started manifesting, and like I'm getting so pissed
(14:19):
off that I'm like, I don't know if manifesting is
the right word. It turned into just me getting like
more pissed off than like anything, more irritable than like
I'm just like upset with myself, and I just like
couldn't really, I don't know, I just couldn't deal with
(14:39):
that anymore. You know, Yeah, I do know.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
How old are you?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I am twenty eight. I just turned I turned twenty
eight a couple of months ago.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Nice. Yeah, well that's cool man. It's cool that you
uh had, like, like I don't know, this series of
self affirming things happened. So therapy worked, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It worked for me. That was like I went to
therapy when I was younger. I had a couple of
different therapists and they were fucking stupid. They were so
fucking stupid.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So many yeah, yeah, there's so many fucking stupid therapists
out there. Yeah, keep going.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
They like did not understand like what I was trying
to talk about. I literally had a therapist fall asleep
on me one time, not even kidding. And yeah, it
was just like randomly. I was like it was like
one in the morning. I remember, I was like all
(15:45):
on panic attack, like I can't fucking do this shit,
I don't know what's going on. And I just was like,
I this this better help. Shit. I don't even know.
I don't even know what else I could do. And
then I was with that guy for a couple of months,
and it was like more expensive than like it should
have been, but that's why I was in with him
for a couple of months. But yeah, it was cool.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
When when, so what what? How long ago was it
that you were It was one am and you were like,
I can't fucking do this.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I was it was in September and I was twenty four,
so that was like three and a half years ago
or something.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
M do you feel and you feel better now than
you did then?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yeah? Definitely cool. I remember I was like walking across
this bridge all the time to go to classes. Oh yeah,
and I mean I was just like, yeah, thinking about
it all the time.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
But you know what, ok that ship? Oh yeah, I
mean yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, there's yeah no, there's
so many things to try. I don't know why I'm
on the so much. I'm on I'm I'm this is all,
this is this, Yeah, dude, I don't know. There's so
many things to try. There's so many things to try.
There's so many things to have, and.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Just in general, man like having a childlike sense of
wonder is the most important thing, because like, well, you
go ahead with it. You were to say, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Oh god, don't ask me. What am I trying out lately?
All right? Okay, well fuck when am I trying lately?
I should? I gotta try more, I gotta try different things.
I was did I I? Oh god, I can't remember
(17:46):
what I've talked about on the podcast already and what
I haven't, but I think I might. I think I've
said this before, but I'll just say it again. I
was in Japan and I was going kind of insane,
and I called my friend and and I was I
was telling him I was going insane, and he was like,
you gotta do stuff man like me. He was my
(18:07):
friend was like, you know, me and my friends we
go out to trivia every Wednesday. You know, he wasn't
a he wasn't being particularly uh he's very logistical. It
wasn't He's not a very emotional guy. He was like,
me and my friends got out to trivia every Wednesday,
and you can't kill yourself if you have trivia on Wednesdays.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, you know something. You have said that on the podcast,
and I have thought that exact thing like a bunch
of times, like that's such a that's such a like
good way to say that you can't kill yourself if
you're at trivia.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Okay, I have said that on the podgast you just
need something, you need things to do. I think one
of my tribes gott you know, yeah, I mean you
need things to do. What am I trying? I gotta
try more? I gotta I mean whatever, man, I'm going.
What am I trying? I mean, I'm I'm waking up,
you know, I'm fucking yeah, I'm trying, you know, trying
(19:11):
more things. We gotta I don't know. This is such
a weird thing. This is a weird thing. This has
evolved into I don't know, keep going Rory. What else?
What else is you gotta advice? You gottny you got
any advice for the people? Roy about about uh how
to be how to how to transcend?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, I mean, well ship, I don't know, it's kind
of just you know, it's it's, uh, yeah, you gotta
try stuff. You gotta just do something. I don't know, like, uh,
(19:59):
you know, let me let me take let me take
like a little bit of a long approach to this,
but I'll make it quick. So you were talking about
how like there's two schools of like desire, right, There's
like should I desire more? Should I desire less? To
be happy? And yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, yesterday
(20:27):
I was at my girlfriend's house and her mom was like, man,
I went to the store and I was trying to
get spray olive oil and then also like normal olive
oil whatever, the actual oil because she needed to cook
(20:49):
to use it to cook something with like the actual oil.
And and then she was like and I forgot the spray.
I forgot the normal one, so now I just have
the spray one. And I was like, holy fuck, Like
my you know, she's my girlfriend's mom, so she's older
than me. And I was like, man, my entire life
(21:11):
is just gonna be like like I'm gonna have to
I just did that ship the other day. I forgot
fucking bananas at the grocery store and the whole point
to be going was to get shipped from my smoothies
in the morning, and I forgot the fucking bananas. And
I'm just gonna have to do that. My whole life
is just forget stuff at the grocery store, among other things.
It's just gonna be this like awful, Like it's like
(21:36):
it that it'll just never stop and and and like
you can't like care about that, you can't like let
it like bother you. That like life is just kind
of gonna be full of like disappointments and frustrations. You
(22:00):
just got to find something fucking cool and like give
a shit about it and give a shit about that
and like yeah, and that's gonna be full of fucking frustrations.
I've been in like literally twenty different bands and none
of them have got take I've gotten off the ground.
(22:22):
And I have friends of mine who were just playing
these like this amazingly large show. They two of my
friend's bands were opening for Jack white in front of
five four hundred people or something like that, and there's
like all these awesome pictures of them, and I'm so
(22:44):
happy for them, and but I was like, damn, like
I want to do that so bad. I've wanted to
do that for shit like that for so long. But
I kind of that kind of makes it come back
to like the point like that sounds sad. I don't
mean that in a sad thing a sad way. I
guess for me, it's just like an aggressor or like
(23:07):
a like I'm gonna do that. I don't know, I'm
gonna do shit cool shit that I want to do.
I don't know. Does that make am I just bullshitting?
Does that make sound? No?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
No, no, no, no, You're not appleshing at all. You're
making You're making a lot of Well I'm trying to
think about this because I have go I mean, I
went to you know, I fucking toured around Australia and
Europe and did these shows and they were awesome. They
were a lot of fun. They were great. But you know,
(23:40):
I'm still and I still want to do that stuff,
and I still want to keep doing cool shit and
trying my best to do cool shit. But I don't
know if playing a show to a bunch of people
is like the it's really cool. Uh, you know, I
want to keep doing it, and it's cool to like
(24:02):
be in the moment of whatever it is that you're doing.
But I don't know if it's the on and off
switch for like being less fucking like miserable all the time,
you know, I don't know if it's the you know,
I don't know if being like like like being like
wildly wildly successful. I don't know if that's the the
(24:29):
thing I think. I think, well, when I really think
about it, the I think the joy is often just
like in being in the moment of what you're doing
and feeling productive and feeling competent, and feeling the present.
(24:52):
I mean, you talked about a childlike sense of wonder.
I mean that's because your present, and you know, look, ideally,
when you're playing a show in front of a eight
billion whatever people, you're present. I've I've you know, played
shows as the get go in front of a bunch
of people, and you know, I didn't feel like I
was performing at my best and I didn't feel good,
and so I was in my head and I wasn't
(25:14):
present and that wasn't fun. But I you know, then
I've had times where I was in front of you know,
I did I'll do like a fucking stand up comedy
open mic in front of you know, ten people, but
I'll feel really present with the fucking jokes and it
feels good, you know. So it's just I think it's
about chasing presence more than any I mean, I feel
(25:41):
good right now talking to you because I'm present, and
sometimes I'm doing this and I'm not feeling that good
and it's because I'm not present. So that's I mean,
that's I think what is uh there is to chase,
you know, more than like you know, anything else. But
I don't know. I'm also I'm also talking at them,
I asked, because uh, you know, it's cool to do stuff.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No, I think I think sort of something I forget
all the time is like my perspective is like it's
just like stupid fucking like rock band ship. I always
just think of stuff as it's like cool bands and
(26:27):
cool music and art, and it's like do something. When
I was thinking like do something cool, I'm like thinking
of like like start a fucking band. But I always
I always like and I talked to like my cousins
and stuff, and then like that's just like not not
my cousins. I don't know anybody, but it's just like
that's like not everybody's life, and I have to like
(26:48):
remember that.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
So what what's up with you?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
What do you? What do you?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
What's up with your cousins?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Oh? Nothing? Not like.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Are they just like normies, like they have like a
fucking job in an office or something.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Not like my cousins in particular, but just like you know,
when you go to like a family function and like
you start talking about your job or whatever, and they're like, wow,
you can make money doing that. That's crazy, and it's like, yeah,
it's that is you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Or oh yeah, yeah, yeah, well that yeah. That's all
you need sometimes is like you talk to somebody and
then you're like, oh, yeah, all you need is like
a little bit of perspective and it kind of shocks
you back into your Yeah no, no, a little bit of
perspective will shock you right back into your fucking A
little bit of perspective will make you cling to your
goddamn life. A little bit, A little bit of perspective
(27:40):
will make you go, why the fuck would I kill myself?
Oh my god? What what you I would? Why would
I give this up? This is great? Holy shit?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, fucking crazy when that happens, you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Just like it is, It's like it's like getting hit
by lightning or something.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I was, Uh. I was at a uh this like
parade that we have where I live, and they have
a uh there's always like a New Orleans style marching
band up at like the front of it. And my
girlfriend's little cousin she's four, was like we're all hanging
(28:17):
out and walking with her because like all the people
that get in the parade and we like walk in
the parade, and she was like dancing next to the tuba,
the lady playing the tuba, and I just like I
started like peering up. I was like, that's just so beautiful,
Like this little tiny thing is like this is a
(28:38):
beautiful moment. I don't know, and you know what, I
think that's what has kind of made me feel a
lot better, is like you just appreciate those things and
you appreciate like big fucking clouds or a cool Today
I saw a van parked and the dog was in
the driver's seat and I took a picture of it.
(29:01):
It's like funny as fuck.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah, but yeah, because it looks like the dog is
driving the car.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yes, yes, exactly, and it wasn't. That's why it's funny.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And it wasn't. But if the dog was actually driving
the car, that wouldn't be that funny because he'd probably
kill a bunch of people.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Uh. One Another cool thing I've been trying to do, though,
is make curry and I'm like getting better at it,
but I'm still not very good at it. And uh,
I don't know. That's like a chill thing. That's you
gotta take something to do, you know, I don't know. Wait,
(29:42):
I want to ask you something though. When you go
on tour, what what is that like? Do you get
a lot of time to like experience the place as
you go or no?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I like the way you said, Uh, you said tour
just now.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I do sometimes, Yeah, I do tour instead of tours
that what.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Where are you from?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
What you're saying?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah, where are you from?
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I'm from. I lived in I live in a place
called ham Tranmic. It's in Detroit. Okay, It's like I
live in Detroit.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Basically yeah, because I heard that that was kind of
like a Delco or like a Philly accent a little bit.
I know a lot of people in Philly who talk
like that. But uh uh yeah, it depends, man. I
mean when I was on sometimes sometimes I got a
lot of time, but other times I didn't have as
much time. Uh. I mean, yeah, it was cool. I like, well,
(30:36):
I liked I like traveling, I like doing stuff. I'm
I'm always kind of on a back and forth between like, oh,
you know, you want to be stable so you can
build relationships and community and and then you know you
want to travel so that you can like, you know,
be crazy and life is a movie and whatnot. But
(30:56):
I don't know, man, yeah I think, uh yeah, I
got to see a lot of places. I feel really great.
I'm really grateful. I got to see a bunch of shit.
I mean people will talk about like, uh, I know,
people will like bring up a place and I'd be like, yeah,
I think I've been to Denver like five fucking times
at this point, and like, uh, it's cool, it's great.
(31:17):
If you've never done it, union you should go see shit.
You know, if you're listening to this and you're like,
you know, twenty, you should be going. You should be
in a different place and where you are right now
tomorrow if you can.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
If if I was fucking twenty right now and I
have had have the knowledge that I have right now,
I would totally go do some shit like that. Yeah,
everybody can say that at any point in their life
and whatever. But yeah, if you're twenty listening to this
(31:51):
right now, you should, and you want to go do
something somewhere else, you should. You should go to the.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Fucking bro go to the Canary Eye Islands and hang
out with that cave guy.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Oh dude, I saw that. I was like thinking that,
like it wasn't like an actual like cave cave. Like
I was thinking, like maybe they were like retrofitted, they
have people in there or something.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
You see it.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I posted it. I posted on Instagram because he he
dm y my cave. He fucking lives in a cave, Dude,
I might. I don't. I don't want to bring this
up on the podcast. Well, I mean I'm going to.
I don't know why I'm saying. I'm an idiot, but uh,
in the back of my head, I'm like, should I
go to the fucking Canary Islands and film something with
this guy. I don't maybe I will. I don't want
to commit to that right now, but it's in the
(32:39):
back of my head. I'm posting. I'm posting like a
little clip of it tomorrow. But you know that cave
I saw of that cave guy, and I was like, God,
he made an Instagram and people, and I think I
got a d M from somebody who was like, yo,
I d M the cave guy, And now me and
him are talking. So I think I think he's made.
(33:00):
I think he's about to like start a commune off
this fucking podcast episode, or at least start like a
cave guy thing. I don't know, power to him. I
think that's I think he's doing a really cool fucking thing.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Absolutely, man, I don't remember what his name was, but
I was listening to that. I listened to that episode
and that was just like super inspiring. I don't know,
it's just fucking like crazy, that's amazing. I don't know
if I necessarily want to live in a cave.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
But like, I don't know if I necessarily want to
live in a cave either, but he uh, I think
that guy will have a cool. Well, I mean, he
already has a cool life. He lives in a he's
like the way he described it, he's like living the
way that you know humans fucking lived, uh, you know,
in tribes or whatever, you know, just hanging out. Yeah,
(33:55):
very very paleolithic. I'm pretending like I know what that
word when you said, when you said it's very paleolithic,
I had in my mind an educated guess of what
you were trying to say. So maybe I do know
what paleolithic means vaguely if you asked me to, just
if you dive further into that, I couldn't define paleolithic.
(34:18):
But I have in my head what you what I
think you mean when you say that, And I think
that's right.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
But I think, uh, I think I was using that
word right.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
But it's like I think you were too. Who care?
You were? Who cares?
Speaker 1 (34:29):
So don't look at up.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Yeah cave shit. Yeah, well we're talking about the cave guys,
this cave ship.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
He's living, he's living a cave life. He lives in
a cave rory. Yes, wile I've enjoyed talking to you,
I feel like I'm this is a weird this podcast
I don't know what this podcast started as. This started as,
but it's now become it's become therapy for I mean,
(34:58):
it's always been therapy for me. I don't know what. Yeah,
you know what. Thanks for talking to me about this
stuff because I'm I feel a lot of what you're
talking about. And don't kill yourself. I'm not gonna kill myself.
I'm not. We're not. Yeah, we're gonna be fine. No
(35:19):
one's gonna kill themselves. Everything's gonna be fine. No one's
gonna yet. No, we're all gonna be fine. Rory, and
we're all gonna be fine. That's why I'm taking away
from this. I feel like we're I feel like we're
(35:40):
talking this conversation. I feel like you and I are
like on the like we both can't sleep at a
sleepover kind of a conversation and we're talking on the
fucking we're talking on our friends, Like, uh, what's not addict?
Why am I thinking? Porch? Yeah, we're talking about porch.
(36:03):
It's a very porch conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, it's a good one. It's good. Oh go ahead,
Oh is there anything else I want to say?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah, that's all I was gonna say.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah, I feel like there's I've like, I've like, I
feel like I've practiced this moment and now like I
can't remember any of that ship that I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Say, don't you don't practice there is? What do you
feel right? What's in your pops into your head?
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Definitely? Definitely everything gets better. It sucks though, you gotta
work really hard, but it's totally fucking worth it to
make change in your life that's positive. And yeah, uh
also start a fucking band and listen to Slayer. That's uh, yeah,
(37:00):
that's it.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Rory for ten thousand years. Thank you for calling, sir.
I'll I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Yank for one hundred thousand years. Love you by, don't
kill yourself you either, love you bye.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
I love you too, Rory. Goddamn fuck shit, fuck, We're
all gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be fine. That was
a good call. That was a good call. Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3 (37:28):
What's up? Oh my gosh, hey buddy, how's it going.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It's going good man. What's your name?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
My name is nick? Uh, your name is Lyle?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Right, my name is Lyle. Have we spoken before?
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Yick?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
No, No, I've been a long time listener.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Though, cool cool man, Um, yeah, how's your how's your
name going?
Speaker 3 (37:59):
It's going pretty good. I'm well currently studying for exam,
but I needed a break anyway. So yeah, I'm a
twenty two year old college student.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
So busy is.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
A little busy bee?
Speaker 2 (38:19):
What do you what's the exam? What are you being
examined to do?
Speaker 3 (38:25):
It's on cancer perspective, So yeah, I'm learning about cancer
right now. I'm I'm aspiring radiation therapist.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Whoa, that's uh, that fucking is awesome. That's such a
real job. Why do I keep saying that I do?
Is I keep saying that all the time. I think
I say that all the time because I'm a talking Internet.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Get go, And I think that's a real job too.
That's for sure, a real job.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
That's debatable, but I mean it's yeah, sure, sure it produces.
I pay taxes. I think if you pay, you have
a real job. I think if you pay, yeah, sure.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
If you're paying taxes, you're contributing to society.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Though.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
You know, I'll accept that. I'll accept that as just.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
And you help out from what I listened to, you
help out a lot of people, and that that concert
or something.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Well, thanks, man. I mean I'm not curing cancer, but
you know, I'm trying my best. Yeah, so what's either
tell me? I mean, tell me more about cancer. Sounds bad?
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, cancer is horrible, man. I shadowed a couple of places,
and there's like some some cases are like not too bad,
like people catch it early, and then some cases are like,
oh my gosh, like I don't even want to talk
about some some stuff. But you know, it's a reality
(40:05):
of this world, which is uh something I don't know, but.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I'm fucking randomly catching cancer and dying.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Well it's not even like a lot of cancer has
to do with like something that happens over times, but
it can also be like a genetic thing, like some
people are just born with like leukemia, which is like, oh,
it's so bad. But you know, there's a lot of
(40:38):
like the way that like technology is going, there's a
big like there's such a huge reduction and death of cancer,
and like the fight against cancer is real. You know,
one day I'm sure that, yeah, one day I'm sure
that like there will be a cure and I'm hopeful
for that and I want to contribute to that.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
So pretty good, Pretty good? Yeah, yeah, let's you know what,
I think this is good. I think fighting cancer is
good and cancer is bad. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(41:21):
what's yeah? Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead,
go ahead.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
What was your question?
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I was gonna ask what your life was like outside
of cancer?
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Oh yeah, well right now, I'm working a job to
pay the bills. I'm living with my girlfriend, and yeah,
it's it's life, you know. Like I'm at that age,
like twenty two where you gotta gotta pick pick up
on your responsibilities and like stay ahead on things. And
(41:59):
I'm I'm working on myself as a human being, like
I I've been. I started journaling. I at least journal
a couple of times a week, and it's helped me
because it kind of like feeds me or like it
sees me into reality sometimes, you know, like you get
so caught up in your head and like, uh, when
(42:22):
I journal, it's like I think it's like peak human
experience sometimes because like if you think about it, like
every creature in this universe doesn't have hands or thumbs
to write down their thoughts or even like realize that
their thoughts are real, you know, So I think it
helps me out a lot journaling.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Whoa, Yeah, it's true, Like a fucking dog can't journal,
So journaling it's one of the most human things you
could do. I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess I
guess you could say the same. I guess you could.
I guess you could apply that daddy. I guess you
could say, open it. You could apply that logic to
most things. You could say that, like opening a jar
of pickles is the most human thing you could do,
(43:05):
but it is. It's a very human thing to open
a jar of pickles.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Yeah, like even cave like if you think about it, caveman,
or like big journals, like they're they're like right in
mammoths on the walls and like they don't have a language,
but they still like get it down, you know they do.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
What would you journal about today?
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Today? I haven't gotten a journal. I had a physics
course that I went to and uh, it was kind
of brain boggling and just been super busy. I woke
up this morning after like I worked the whole weekend.
I'm an Amazon delivery driver, and I listened to your
(43:53):
podcast a lot on like the road is really really
really relaxing, and it gets my the nice thing about
podcast is like you can be doing anything and listen
to it and just forget that you're working or have
some situation. So are grateful to you and.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
That, Oh thanks man, thanks man, your So you're working?
How many hours a week? Or are you working? You're working?
Angle in to school? Man?
Speaker 1 (44:22):
How long?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
How you really are fucking you know? I have a
lot of responsibilities. How often are you working?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Typically it's one time or what just on like Sundays.
But I picked up a shift this weekend because I
called out sick last weekend. I'm like, oh, I need
to make up somehow, make up some money somehow, So
I picked up a shift on Saturday. So I'm working
(44:53):
approximately like ten to twenty hours a week.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
And then how often are you in school and stuff
being and ship? Uh?
Speaker 3 (45:02):
I have to be in class for I have two
in persons and one online. So like, I'm a transfer
student this year and I am. I got like a
lot of my prerecs out of the way and all
the things. So it's kind of a lighter courseload, which
is why I can work more. So but soon I'm
(45:25):
gonna I'm so excited I'm going to be transitioning to
like a hospital, to actually get some real like healthcare
work and a hospital setting. So I'm super excited for
that because like Amazon is fun. But okay, I wouldn't
say it's.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Fun, but I was about to say. I was about
to say, I've never heard someone who drives for Amazon,
uh saite describe it as uh particularly fun.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
No, it's it's not fun, but like it's actually pretty
pretty sweet gig if you think about it. Because you're
like on the road and if you're in a vehicle
that's not like video recording you at twenty four to seven, Like,
so you don't get dinged for distracted driving. You can
like jam out some to some tunes, or you can
(46:18):
like you stay active. You're like walking up and down.
I like to be active, so like it keeps me
on my feet. And if I didn't have bunions, I
wouldn't be so upset about it. But you know, sing
bunions suck. I hope you never get them.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
What I have multiple questions. There are cam you have
cameras that record you while you drive.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
Oh yeah, they got Like there's just so if you're
passing an Amazon driver, do not cut in front of
them because they're gonna get in trouble because like you
can get dinged for like just weird things like if
someone cuts off cuts you off, like you get dinged
(47:06):
and it gets sent to your boss and then you
have to talk to you. If you speed, you get dinged.
Or if you're eating or looking at your phone, will
drive and you get dinged. So it's kind of an
advanced system. Like I get why it's in place to
like protect and everything, but I can make things difficult sometimes.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
What are bunyans bunions?
Speaker 3 (47:30):
It's like when bunyons it's more of a recent development.
I've always had feet issues, but a bunion is like
you know that ball of your foot next to your
big toe, the ball the big toe kind of like
juts out a bit.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Like oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
Inward that like when that grows out too much, it
starts hurting, you know, like it's like a joint pain almost,
but it I think it's not. It's only has to
do with like when I wear shoes without like arch support,
which is kind of hard to find these days. But yeah,
(48:11):
bunyon it it hurts when I walk, but it's manageable.
You know. Some people have to get surgery, like to
fix that stuff. Like I a foot surgeon came into
my class one year since for like a healthcare class.
A foot surgeon just like went over like a presentation
(48:33):
about like different feet surgeries and stuff.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
So well, I tell me about your girlfriend, how do
you meet her?
Speaker 3 (48:43):
Oh? So it's kind of funny that like the last
lady uh talked about Tinder and I actually found my
girlfriend on Tinder too. We went to the same college
and we are back when before I transferred. We went
to the same college and I was sitting I remember
(49:05):
this moment so clearly. I was like I was sitting
in like have you ever heard of Einstein Bagels?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yeah, I know where that is.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Yeah, it's like a bagel shop. And I was eating
a chocolate chip bagel with honey almond Oh what honey
almond cream cheese spread. And I got a ding like
I matched with someone on Tinder. Because this was like
at the very beginning of my tender expedition. I guess
(49:38):
like given him a shot and I matched with this
super cute lady and I'm like I text my friend like,
oh dude, I got I go to match bro, and
he's like, oh, go go take shoot your shot, you know,
And I did, and.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
I met her.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
It was during finals week and I went to the
library to study with her, and then she uh took
she like showed me her apartment and she played the
guitar for me, and we just it was a very
nice date. And we just kept seeing each other and
it grew and it blossomed into something really nice. We've
(50:18):
been together for like two years now.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
So, man, you got you got a nice fucking life. Brother,
you got a nice I like you. Man, what's your
name again?
Speaker 3 (50:29):
My name is Nick or Nico. Nico's my Spanish name.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Nico. You're you're you're a fucking outstanding citizen.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Nico, You're outstanding.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Hold On, hold on, hold on. I don't know why
I'm I'm like, I'm filled with It's gonna sound insane,
but I'm feeling I'm filled with I'm filled with joy
for you right now. Nico, You're just a real just
a real hold on, let me say this real quick.
You're a real part. You have a a nice girlfriend,
you live in a play, you deliver packages, you're solving cancer,
(51:04):
you're twenty two, You're just I don't know, you're a
real if I could send a human being to be like,
this is what, this is a this is a guy,
This is a person. This is a twenty two year
old human male living in society in twenty twenty five this,
and we send them to aliens or a histographer. You're
(51:25):
a guy. You're a just a real fucking American, fucking
real guy. And I'm not I hope I don't sound
like I'm being facetious right now. I hope I'm accurately expressing.
I believe just the feeling that I have for you
listening to you in your life. And I'm not blowing
smoke up your ass. I know it sounds like I am,
(51:46):
but I'm I just in my gut, I'm like, you're
you're a fucking You're a good guy, Nico. I don't
know you that well, but you're a good guy.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I I uh So. The thing about being a good
person I feel is like it's it's not basically you're
you're born. It's not that you're just born a good person, right,
Like of course everyone's born with a personality, but I've
honestly just been super blessed with like the way I
(52:19):
was raised, Like my parents are like I was raising
a small village. I got to play outside with the neighbors,
like I have like a somewhat normal childhood, like I
I it's not just like I try to think of
it as like if anyone was born in my shoes,
(52:41):
they'd probably turn out just as well. It's not better
than me, and I try and keep that perspective when
like that are bad in people, Like everyone has potential
to be a good person. But I think I've just
kind of got got really I hit the jackpot with
my like family and friends in life. So it's it.
(53:08):
I don't know, like you're You're a good guy in
my eyes, and I try to like few people like
with optimism, I guess because I I've also come to
like a conclusion with like since I was raised with
like so much love and joy, I need to, like
(53:31):
it's my duty, as like a person who is blessed
with something like that to like try and continue this
path and continue dot that energy. You know, I want
to I want to continue that to.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
Get I want to I want to kill such a
good guy. I just want to kill you. I don't
know why I said that, but that's how you're such
a good guy.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
I want to strangle I'll learn some self defense and
I'll strangle you back that I do want to learn
some boxing. That would be awesome.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Yeah, it's funny. It's funny. I mean, yeah, that whole yeah,
the whole thing of like, uh yeah, there's no yeah,
of course, anyone who was born anyone who's was born
from your mother's vagina would have been you. Not you specifically,
(54:32):
but whoever you are, so you know, yeah, I don't know.
There's no real reason why anyone is anyone, but it's
it's true. But anyway, what I don't know, I don't
want to you're I don't funk that. I hate that.
Existential rants I mean, I hate it right now, but I.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Think existentialism is pretty cool to think about.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
I want to kill you, nko.
Speaker 3 (55:00):
It is.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
It's cool to think about. But you don't want to.
You don't want to get You don't want to be
too existential. You want to like the like the last
guy said where he was I think I caught on
to but the last guy was saying, I don't know
if I specifically did, but where It's like life is
a series of going to the store and forgetting you
got that you're supposed to get bananas, like that's you
want to you want like existential thought. I think in
(55:23):
a healthy human being should consume a small portion of
the pie chart, and you should mainly be thinking about
like the real the life that you're I mean, you live,
you don't. Your life, from what you've told me, is
like you know, driving for Amazon, being with your girlfriend,
doing being in like you know, radiation therapy is like
(55:45):
you're living. You're living in your life a lot. You're
not spending all day in crazy existential thoughts. Existential Maybe
you are. I don't know, you're right. I shouldn't have.
I shouldn't have you know you're right. Driving for Amazon,
probably it does give you a lot of time to
think about the meaning of life and ship. I should
What are you thinking about when you're in these existential thoughts.
Speaker 3 (56:09):
Especially, like like you said, like when you're in Amazon,
driving in silent all to day, you do sometimes have
to think, like I'm I'm in a very joyous mood too,
because I'm talking to you right now. So like I've
been listening to you for a long time. I've been
really trying to get on the podcast eventually so that
(56:30):
that might be why you're thinking, I'm such a joyous dude.
But when I'm on like on our ten of my
Amazon shift and I'm like grumpy, I haven't gotten to
eat anything, I'm like sometimes it just brings out like
the existential thing that you talk about, and it takes
(56:51):
me to Like when I think about existential, I think
about like like I think about like there's a list
of things like God, the past, the future, and like
spiritualism or like physics or like virtual reality simulation, like
(57:17):
have you heard of the double split or double slit experiment,
or like Schrodinger's cat.
Speaker 2 (57:26):
Yeah, sure, I know what Schrodinger's cat.
Speaker 4 (57:27):
Is like.
Speaker 3 (57:31):
Since I'm kind of a physics thueve, I like to
look into the stuff like that and and I'll listen
to like podcasts on that and it just takes me
so out of it. But I don't know. Existential is
like it's a unique human experience in my opinion, like
(57:53):
most most animals live off of like instinct or like, oh,
I need to pro create because that's what life is,
like growth and going forward. But as assuming you get
some more advanced like oh God, or like spiritualism, Like
(58:14):
I think that is such a unique thing for us.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
But I could be wrong.
Speaker 3 (58:18):
Maybe dolphins think about that.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
I think I'm kind of swimming.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
I'm kind of all over the place, like I didn't
think when I talk to people, I just jump around
to random things.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
Nico you I really you have. You never need to
apologize for anything ever for the rest of your life.
You're a great human Yes, I do a great human being,
Nicole was It was good talking to me. Man, is
is there any Is there anything else you want to
say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4 (58:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (58:54):
Maybe just try and have perspective. Like I'm not telling
anyone what to do, but like like I said, like
if you were if anyone was born in the shoes,
if someone pissed you off that day and you were
born in their shoes, you would probably puts yourself off
to you know, Like we're trying to have some perspective.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all. We're all. We're all probably
each other. I think.
Speaker 3 (59:24):
We're all. We're all one being. If you think about it.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
We all drive for Amazon.
Speaker 3 (59:32):
We all feel we all drive for Amazon and to
be the slave of a capitalistic society that we did
not choose to be born into so like imagine being
born as a someone in Africa, just like living in
a tribe, and or like.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
Sorry, go ahead and go ahead ahead.
Speaker 3 (59:54):
No, I'm just kind of rambling because I was talking
to you.
Speaker 2 (59:58):
I was going to say, I was going to say,
when you started this call talking about cancer, I was like,
I don't think this can get any more depressing. I'm
glad that we start both started and ended on a
depressing note. Yeah, but I still think you're still I
still fucking think you're the greatest human being that I
have ever encountered. And I might not be being facetious about.
Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
That, No I'm not. I've heard splin like that cave dude.
Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Wait, we can't all be the cave dude. We can't
all be.
Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
The gave dude.
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
I just keep bringing up the cave dude.
Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Every every call. I'll talk to you later, Nico.
Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Thank you, Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
I have a good one. Bye.
Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
Hello, Oh my god, Hello.
Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Lyle, what's up? How's life?
Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
Oh my god? No, this is actually like kind of crazy.
I've cooled so many times over the last few weeks
because I'll started like, I've known about you for years now,
but when I met my boyfriend recently. He was like,
we drove down to like the south of England and
he was like, let's let's put something on the card.
I really want to listen to music. Let's like listen
(01:01:14):
to this therapy Gecko And I was like, oh, I've
heard of him. He's like yeah, I listened to him
while I'm welding and doing my work and I was like,
oh cool. And I've just been like listening to you
every day for the last like four months now. It's
so I love it. It's very interesting listening to people talk
about their experiences and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Fuck yeah, thanks, crazy. It's it's always sick to hear
that people who are listening to this outside of the States.
Where where in the UK are you from? I've been,
I've been there.
Speaker 4 (01:01:44):
I'm I'm at university at the minute. I'm in Birmingham,
which is like Midlands West Midlands, but I'm from near
Cambridge originally, so I'm like three hours away from home.
Uh yeah, I'm actually like so shocks right now? This
is crazy?
Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
How is Universe a good way?
Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
How's university?
Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
It's really good? It was good. This is my first year.
I'm only nineteen so this is my first year at university.
It's really good. It is really good.
Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
I used to live.
Speaker 4 (01:02:18):
In like a was it like I grew up in
like a little town. Not town. There's a little village
in the middle of nowhere with like a few, like
less than a thousand people. I want to say, so
like coming this is like Birmingham's the second biggest city
in the UK. So this is like kind of crazy
for me that there's so much to do.
Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
It's mental not knowing everyone, But what the hell this is?
Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
This is so cool?
Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
How do you say your name? What did you say?
Your name was?
Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
Isabelle?
Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Isabelle, well, Isabelle. It's it's totally cool. If not, I
can just ask you random things. But is there anything
in particular that you wanted to talk about today? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
I wanted to. I've had a lot of people talk
about like the dating apps and stuff like that, and
I always talk about my experience with that. I feel
like it's quite interesting, well not like interesting interesting. I'm
not like some I don't know. I feel like I'm
talking about that that many like crazy stories to tell,
like that guy the cave guy. That's awesome, and as
(01:03:22):
I last I brought them bring that up again. Oh
that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
Shout hey man, listen, listen, listen. I don't want everyone
ever not everyone's gonna start calling into this podcast and
being like, well, I'm not as interesting as the cave guy. Look,
you don't have to always be as interesting as the
cave guy. We can't or I'm not as interesting as
the cave guy. We can't all be as interesting as
the cave guys. I don't.
Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
I don't live the life.
Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
I don't think I could either. I don't think I
could either. I couldn't ship in the cave. Well, actually
I could shop the cave once, but I don't think
I could do it every day. But you don't. You
don't have to be as interesting as the cave guy.
Speaker 4 (01:03:59):
Do you know you know in Italy? You know Mount.
Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Etuas uh No, I haven't heard of it. I mean Italy,
like you.
Speaker 4 (01:04:06):
Know, you know, you know, like Pompeii. Obviously it's the
volcanoes that like killed everyone, well, like the Romans and
stuff like that. We went there when I was like
twelve or thirteen in the school trip and I ship
on the mountain and it felt like I don't know,
not like Italian or anything. Baba. Yeah, this is kind
of like payback for killing all those people in Pompeii.
(01:04:28):
I don't know, random thought there go yeah on the mountains.
Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Yeah, okay, so you wanted to talk about your dating
app experiences.
Speaker 4 (01:04:37):
Yeah, I don't know, it's just I don't know. Me
and my friends, I felt like this is a very
common thing, but people obviously, like some people like downloaded
for certain reasons. But me and my friends were just like, oh,
let's let's do it as a joke and kind of
see what happens. And then it went really well. And
now I've got a boyfriend, so it's quite cool. But
(01:04:58):
I went on quite a few dates before meeting him,
but I'm glad it kind of works out for the better.
Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Yeah, that's great. I mean, how many how many dates
did you go on before you met your boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
Like three? I want to say, I want to say
really often, money, but I want to say three. I
literally I downloaded it in November, and then I met
my boyfriend in January, the end of January, and then
we got together after like a month, and now with
chill in this.
Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Year, that's pretty good. Okay, I'm going to say something,
and you might be offended by it, but it is
my guttural reaction to what you're telling me right now.
Speaker 4 (01:05:36):
Yep, Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
I feel like it's so much easier to meet your
boyfriend after three dates when you're nineteen because and this
is the part where you're going to get offended, is
because I think when you're nineteen, you're like, like, your
(01:05:59):
who you are as a person is developed, like a
little bit of course by that time, yeah, but like
compared to like when you're twenty nine or some shit, right,
you're you're a little bit less develops. So I think
you're I think you're a little bit more willing at
nineteen to be like, this guy is nice to me,
(01:06:22):
and I find him attractive, and that's those are that's
a that's column A and column b, you know. And
then as you get older, you start being like, well,
I want someone who has a little bit of this,
and I you know, my life is like this, and
I want someone whose life is a little bit like
this and this and the other thing. And so you
start getting narrowing things down, you get more specific with
(01:06:43):
what you need, you know. But I feel like when
you're yeah, when you're like in college, it's like they're
attractive and they're chill and that's it. Yeah, so and
you can and you can find that in not that
many dates.
Speaker 4 (01:07:00):
No, I don't. Yeah, I completely agree with you.
Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
I know.
Speaker 4 (01:07:04):
I know for a fact, I'm not like fully cognitively
like developed. He obviously you don't get that. You don't
get to that point. So you're like, what mid twenties
and even then, like you're always like.
Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
I don't think, I don't know humans. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:07:16):
If you're always learning, you're always learning. I can always
feel like that age, I still feel like I'm like
twelve years old. Mentally, I'm like I still have the
same interest. So I'm like, oh, I'm just a woman now.
I guess kind of not really, but I'm just kind
of living in the city and I'm meeting all these
people and stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
But I get that also, you know, I have have fun,
have a good time in your life. Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:07:44):
Yeah, go ahead, yeah, crazy, I'm trying to think, like,
I don't know, do you want to ask me some questions?
I feel like I've like thought, I've thought about this moment.
It's quite a few times, and I'm like, what if
I what do I want to talk about? But I
feel like I'm gonna let you question me and I
can kind of ramble essentially.
Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
Sure, Sure I can question you. What I mean, what
do you what do you study?
Speaker 4 (01:08:11):
Oh? So, uh, I'm doing currently. I'm doing it like
a thing called a foundation year before university. So it's
not like it's like one year where you basically like
do like a course. So I'm doing media production at
my course right now, So I do a year of
that and you basically get like trains and all these
different like audio and like video equipment. You learn you
(01:08:34):
learn how to do like podcasts and stuff like that
and live TV and also have to make like short
films and do like presentations. Because it's like it's meant
to be like a starting thing to introduce people to university,
because some people just do it as like like you
get like a qualification out of it, but it's not
like the same level as like an actual university degree.
It's just like you get experience from it and then
(01:08:56):
you can kind of go and do whatever university of
course you want to do. So like there's other people
on my court who are doing completely different things to
be like sports marketing and stuff like that. They'll be
doing that next year, well this September, But I'm meant
to be doing filmmaking. But I've had a revelation recently
that I'm like, nah, I kind of want to just
do media production because not that it's difficult to get
(01:09:18):
into the film industry, but obviously it's difficult to get
into it.
Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
But I'm sorry, I'm sorry I have to interrupt you.
What is the difference between filmmaking and media production? Somaking?
Speaker 4 (01:09:33):
No, no, no, no, it's a completely valid question. Like
with filmmaking, you are literally just like you're studying films,
you're writing about them, and you like create them, and
then you you are just basically working on stuff in
the film industry, so you're working on like production. You
learn how to write like scripts, you learn how to direct,
produce to like sound editing and stuff like that. But
(01:09:54):
with media production, that's like all kind of versions of
like media in a sense. So like obviously like like
a podcast is completely different to a film, Like that's
completely different, like different kind of ways of going about it.
And I would be learning like just loads of different things,
and I'd be learning like different kinds of software and stuff.
(01:10:15):
I just feel like it's better to be versed in
lots and lots of different things and have like a
broad knowledge on stuff than kind of honeing in one thing.
And like I didn't, I didn't. I wasn't originally going
to go to university. Like the last my last like
the last year has kind of been a bit wild
for me. But I'm kind of glad that I'm at
this point where I'm like, you know what, I've realized
(01:10:37):
that maybe I should do this course, and it's glad
that I've kind of learned these things. I know, I'm
still young and stuff like that. Everyone makes mistakes and whatever,
but I've thought about it and I'm like, yeah, let's
just continue with media production. That would be fun. And
like the people here is cooled. Birmingham is a really
creative city. Like it's a bit dodgy in some areas,
(01:10:59):
don't get me wrong, like what every city is, but
it's really fun. I've met some great people here.
Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
It's really good, Isabelle, Is there anything else I say
to the people of the computer before.
Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
They go, don't give up on your dreams and don't
let don't let people tell you what you can and
can't do in your life. And just because you're young, obviously,
don't make crazy, crazy decisions. But everyone's young and they
make silly, silly decisions. Just live life, have fun, and
(01:11:35):
I don't know, don't get any stupid tattoos or anything
like that. I've got stuper tattoos. Don't do that. Just
be normal or not normal, but have fun.
Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
I guess pretty good.
Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
H I'll see you if I ever come to Binghamton, Birmingham.
Speaker 4 (01:11:52):
Yes, Birmingham.
Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
Thank you, le.
Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
Have a good night.
Speaker 3 (01:11:58):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
I sucked it up. Why Binghamton, Birmingham, Birmingham. You know,
I think people have told me I should go to Birmingham.
There's all these like places. There's a Bristol, Birmingham, Cardiff.
I've never been that. I've been to Brighton, London, Manchester.
(01:12:23):
I like the UK though. The UK is a cool place.
Maybe I'll go Maybe I'll go there again. I'm sure
I'll go there again at some point in my life
to walk around and look at things which I which
I which I often enjoyed, enjoyed to do. Thank you
all for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast I'm Lyle,
(01:12:45):
I'm a gecko. Uh do I have any final thoughts?
What do we learn? I don't know if we learned anything.
We talked to Rory, Isabelle, and Nico, and I liked
talking to all of them. I like getting to talk
to people, and I like that people listen to people
(01:13:07):
talking and it's good. And that's all I got until
next time. Get Out never goes on the line taking
your phone calls. Every night, the repon goes doing to ride.
He's teaching you about in the middle of your life
that he's not ready an expert
Host
Lyle Drescher
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