Best Of Episodes 51-55!

The best of This Is Important from episodes 51 through 55

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially
integral to the fabric of our very nature.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Here we go, start your engines.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
M m m m m m m m m ming
ming ming ming ming ming ming ming. Wow, we're here.
We're queer. We want to drink beer. Ye is the beer?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
The beer is beer.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
It's probably here, guys.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
It's huge. This is it. This is the moment we've
all been dreading and waiting for. At the same time,
we're in the bros.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Are Lake of the bros Arks Missouri.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Fired up.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
Yes, it feels good, ma'am.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
I will say that someone hit me up DM style,
slid in them and they.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Uh, slit your dms.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
They slid right in them and they said that they're
like I found the first Let's go and it is
Tom DeLong in an old Blink one track. Hm, it's like,
let's go.

Speaker 5 (01:06):
From from.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Is this like? After no doubt because at the same time.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
I think it was off take off your pants and jacket.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Air great album title.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Well, to be fair, I think that was a different
type of Let's go that was more of like a
let's go and how is that different though, Yeah, that's
exactly what Adam just doing.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
That's literally what I just did.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Oh I'm sorry. Is that this this it's a different vibe.
That's before.

Speaker 6 (01:33):
I feel like that's the before thing, whereas Let's Go
has become an after thing, like a celebratory like that.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Happened, Yes, thank you, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
But what you just played is for sure a pre.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
But also let's Go is like it's like.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
We're waiting for the game.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Let's go, Like we're going over like a bunch of
bros that are going out for the night and they
just chugged an Ashland hard Seltizer.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, hard seltz Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
I love it, and then they go, they go, and
then they just go to the bar and only talk
to themselves. That's what we did at bars. We were
so bad at hitting on chicks.

Speaker 6 (02:08):
Do you think it's more of a pre still or
more of an after celebration thing?

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Now, what is the Let's go? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:16):
I think it's now. It's just ubiquitous. It's all the time.
It's constant.

Speaker 5 (02:20):
So it's it's fifty to fifty is then what you're saying, Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
It's it's just it's whenever it's people, people will say
let's go, like when they get their to ketos at
a restaurant.

Speaker 6 (02:31):
So what I'm saying is they get the they say
it after they get the taketos.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
You could get to ketos at a rust.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
They get the to keto's, then they go, let's go.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Right. So that's my point is that that is an
after example.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
No, that's a before an example before you eat them.

Speaker 5 (02:44):
Well it's before you eat them, but it's but they're
celebrating after that.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
They got them, they already ordered them.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
The game is you eating them, not you ordering them.
The game is you. That's that's when the whistle blows,
you start eating your to this.

Speaker 6 (03:02):
I feel like when you're handed the food. When you're
handed the food and you say let's go, that's celebrating
the fact that you got them. And then when you
sit and you pick it up to take a bite
and you say let's go, that's like, oh, it's about
to go down.

Speaker 5 (03:15):
So those two.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Different agree to disagree.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
It's all part of the same game.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Though, it's all part of the same let's go family.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
I don't disagree with that.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
That's a brother sister, let's go family, Well.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
You could have multiple like let's go releases during the
same game, right, like you know quarters and all that
ship and when you're hyping up for plays.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
I would argue to say, life is a series of
let's go. Right, let's just agree that life is a
series of let's go.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Life, So let's go.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
And then you go, and that will be the sign
that hangs in my back.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
Blake is our resident champion of current phrases, right, the
king of the with the finger on the pulse.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
Right, if you need a guy to tell you the
latest lang, he'll pull up.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah, the oldest gen z er.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Out run looks.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
All right?

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Then we're here, okay, and we're here today. How are
you good?

Speaker 4 (04:06):
To see everybody?

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Great to see you as well?

Speaker 6 (04:08):
A little as mr? Is that what it is called?
A should we do that? Should we tickle some ears?

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Wait?

Speaker 6 (04:15):
Have you guys seen these videos where like the microphone
has like an ear on it.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
I have seen that where it's an actual ear. It's
like a whisper into it. They like suck on the
ear and the mic picks up all the noises. I
have seen this. This is amazing.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
This is This is like an as what is it? Mr?

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, it stands for audio sexual Motherfuckers.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
Return return normally really out here, really out here.

Speaker 7 (04:43):
But like there's like a really out there's like a
rubber ear that you attached to the microphone and these
people are sucking on it and getting paid.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
This world we're living in is why it's true.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
This is what I'm talking about, guys, when we go
on the live tour. Finally, if we ever do that, uh,
we gotta be doing some really cool stuff like that.
That's cool merch. If we have this is important ears
whatever people want to whisper in and we mold it
after our actual ears or buttles.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, that seems we're talking to the boat. That seems dope.
I mean, that feels like a really cool move for
even like a musical performer to pull up with like
the ear microphone and be screaming in.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
For sure, you could definitely see like the flaming lips.
That's tight. Who's gonna do that first? Wayne Coin?

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Wayne Coin?

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, Wayne Con is already doing it.

Speaker 5 (05:37):
Little NASA's little Nazacks.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Oh. I don't know if you guys are aware of
the word choogie. I was put on this word.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Oh yeah, I'll funk with some chowgi. What's chuge schoogee?

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Evidently it's a person who has aged out of being cool,
but it tries to remain relevant. That is a chowge person.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
And did someone call you chewgi Blake?

Speaker 1 (06:01):
Well, I mean.

Speaker 5 (06:04):
What is chuge derived from? And do you use it
before you eat sukitos?

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah? At the restaurant before as at the restaurant players
sounds delicious.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
So chugi is someone that is holding on to a
style that was popular when they were in their early twenties,
right from early mid twenties when they were young and
hip and cool. For instance, I was thinking, like remember
in like two thousand and two, two thousand and three,
two thousand and four, like like poofy vests, like sweater vests,

(06:38):
sure like popular?

Speaker 1 (06:39):
You mean like down vests?

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Yeah, down vest that was like cool people would wear
that shit.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah fucket. And then if you.

Speaker 5 (06:46):
Still wear one every winter, go ahead?

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah? Keeps you warm? Yes?

Speaker 3 (06:49):
And so you rocking that. A gen zer would say
that that is a chugy thing that you're doing. You're
hanging on I.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Think you claiming what a gen z is gonna say,
is fucking Chuogy as hell bro for sure, ducking Shoogy.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
I'm not offended by it. I'm the epitome of chu.
I'm the Chugmeister General Lord. I mean, my whole style
is ship that I liked when I was twenty years old.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
Out of this, I mean, yeah, I still wear shirts
from high school. They fit differently, they don't hang like
they used to.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
But like I can finally fill them out, right.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Are you kidding me? There's no way I'm fitting in
my ship from high school?

Speaker 6 (07:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (07:28):
Well, you were on the fucking prom court, so we
know that body.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
You got abes.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah I was lean back there, not no more.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah you got OBEs.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
Bullshit, Kyle, you wore size thirty eight pants. He stands
by that stands you probably fit better in your high
school pants now, and then you did that in high school.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
That is so true. I gotta go dig through the crdity.
It used to be Jenko's Now they're just kind of
tied around the clod.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
Yeah you're Jencos are jorts or jagging outside Jacobs becameggings.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
You got me, You got me chegy boy, Yeah, I
got me Cheogy.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
So it is it is, uh the guys got in
late last night. They got in about ten o'clock, not
that late, and then we drank until about three a m. Yeah, baby, baby,
Kyle drank mountain dew.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, I'm a wild guy, probably mountain you guys, Yeah,
I was, I was.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
And then we've had people puke already yeah me yeah,
like Plake is our resident puker already.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
And then we also had a friend not gonna name names,
but uh pissed on his bed.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:37):
And he didn't piss the bed, no, woke up from
his slumber, turned around and peed onto his bed.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
If you witnessed it, no.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
But he came out very proud of what he did.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah really yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (08:52):
This morning he woke up trying to find the bathroom, like,
walked in a circle in his own room, had the
spins or whatever, and just couldn't figure it out and
just stood up on his bed.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Wait, so he was drunk enough to fucking pee on
his own bed, make that choice, but also very proud
of it. Well, moment, he said, when.

Speaker 5 (09:10):
It was happening, he was like, oh man, this is
this isn't right right, but he couldn't stop. Okay, okay,
Like he was looking at the bathroom, and then when
it started happening, he was like, yeah, he's probably.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Doing laundry right now.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
I mean to be fair that I haven't seen him.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
He's not here.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
I think he's doing some work.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
Actually, Yeah, that's what's weird is we all came out
really hot day one and everybody kind of has like, uh,
stuff to do today, like actual work because it is
the weak middle of it.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
But that's it's not weird. I feel like that's very
much on brand for us and our friends to come
out way way too hot night one. Yea, they we
burn bright and then you limp into the rest of
the weekend.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
I threw a photo up the other day and within
fifteen minutes I looked at it and I had eight
gnaw he tweakens, And I fucking thought I got doxed
or something.

Speaker 4 (10:08):
That's not what I gets. Well, you know what docs?
Do you know what docs mean?

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Dude? I thought something had been hacked and like they
were sending this weird message to me because I was like,
what the fuck is going on? Everybody's saying nah, he tweaken.
So I straight up did another old man internet move
and I deleted the photo and I turned off the ripcord. Yeah,
I turned off my phone.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
Got scared.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
I got so nervous that like something was happening to
me that I deleted it. Were you high?

Speaker 4 (10:40):
Bro?

Speaker 5 (10:41):
Were you high for this?

Speaker 4 (10:42):
Yeah? Bro? What was going on?

Speaker 5 (10:43):
What do you think took quote the weekend?

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Were you high for this? Bro? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (10:48):
So you were tweaking?

Speaker 1 (10:50):
So wait so you were tweakend? It actually got me tweaking.
It's so true. You thought they knew.

Speaker 5 (10:55):
Yeah, your jeans back in the day, what they say.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
On the floor? What would they say, Adam? What did
what did your jeans say your bo No?

Speaker 4 (11:06):
No, no?

Speaker 1 (11:07):
What did they say out?

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Lucky you?

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (11:12):
Shirts didn't say nothing.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
Jeans they said lucky you.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
They said lucky you because they were Lucky brand jeans
and the buttonfly and they would say lucky you. By
the way, no one was sucking my dick, No one was.
No one was lucky.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
Would they be lucky to do so? No?

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Hang on, that's not true. That's not true. It was
your roommates. You're no, your roommates were lucky because they
got a little laugh out of it.

Speaker 4 (11:33):
Yeah, I need the zipper that says I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, hand on a second, that's not true. That's not true.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
There's a few, there's a small handful.

Speaker 6 (11:40):
And we don't need to get intodeats. But I do
want to know a little bit of tails about not
that eats with the tails.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Tails are the tails that a tail so wet. Someone
for sure had opened your jeans and saw that at
some point, And was there any mention of it? Was
there like a like a Jesus?

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Or was it just that I don't think.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
I think if I was gonna get a blow job,
I rapped my pants off so quickly. It was never
like a let me take those off for you. It
was I was already butt naked right right right like
if there was like it was it was gonna go down,
it was like, and I'm butt naked.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
There was no. That's not alarmed. That's not alarming. I
know if a girl, if if the mailman was a woman,
I'd come to the door naked.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
There's Adams just saying there's a window when someone a
very small window when a girl would realize, oh shit,
I'm about to hook up with this guy. He's like,
you just gotta get to it right.

Speaker 5 (12:35):
This dude would ro breakaway underwear and ship just snaps.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
On the side, just like a wind suit. You had
a bulls warm up, you had.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
A fucking rip away T shirt like Whole Coogan.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
We have a big day ahead of us. We got
a lot of drinking.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Was there an agenda?

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Got a lot of drinking to do. That's We've got
two kegs. Have dinner tonight. Tonight is the dinner kind
of Michael's Out, Michael Steak Chalet. We have our own
little house next door, so we don't have to deal

(13:15):
with the riff raft, you know, the delta variant. We
don't have to deal with it. Yeah, we're in our
own little hut. They call it the wine house, and
we're gonna have our own private bartender and then we're
gonna get even more drunk there.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
It's kind of a hut. Sometimes they make pizza. Uh
to pizza Hut.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'd be sick.

Speaker 5 (13:40):
It's this hot shape building and there's a pizza red
roof oven.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
We're bad.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Well.

Speaker 4 (13:53):
The thing that was upsetting me is throughout this whole
entire mix up, no one was giving the greatest rock
band of all time kiss It's props because they did
it way first. When they put their blood in the
ink for their comic book, and nobody was talking about that.

Speaker 5 (14:11):
Can I tell you I No one was talking about that. Absolutely,
no one knows that factoid.

Speaker 4 (14:17):
Nobody knows that Kiss made a comic book with their
own blood.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
No one knows Kiss made a comic book.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Are you sure it was Kiss though? Are you sure?
Because I thought this was Glenn Danzig that did this shit. Yeah, No,
Danzig used to fucking draw with his blood.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
No, it was then, not everybody's putting blood on everything.
Everyone's gizzing on everything. It's fine.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Wait, what what we hold.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
For our tickets? Yeah, for our tickets that we sell
for our live shows. Wait wait, we jizz and we
bleed on every ticket and then we sell them.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
Uh you bro?

Speaker 4 (14:48):
We Metallica? Reload?

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Nah, yeah, we reloaded.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
We went seven minutes and seven seconds without talking about
Jays and here we are. Nah he tweaking.

Speaker 6 (15:01):
Speaking of like bad shit on stage. This is classic.
And this was something we showed in the writer's room
over and over for a good week or two when
Lenny Kravitz was a show and my god, he went
like down into like a tuck and his pants ripped,
his spot flopped out and then he.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Jumped up without missing a beat and blocked it with
the guitar.

Speaker 5 (15:27):
I was like, this dude is a true professional.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
It's amazing.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
And that spring shot out. It was like a slinky.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
It was loaded.

Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, it was like packed in there.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
If you haven't seen that video, you can watch it
as a gift or a jiff now and it is
just as wonderful just watching one thousand times, back to
back to back to back, and.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
No one talks about that anymore.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
No.

Speaker 4 (15:51):
He slurps his dick back up and he knew his
parents so quick.

Speaker 5 (15:55):
It's like when you touch it.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, was blown away when I brought it out from
Marissa and I was like, check out this dude. Look
at what he does. It's amazing.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
You're blown away. I was astonished.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
It's like a lightning strike of dick and then it's
are you gonna go? Yeah, it's an amazing recovery.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
A lightning strike.

Speaker 5 (16:20):
It's so cool.

Speaker 4 (16:22):
God, oh man, he is something else, isn't he?

Speaker 1 (16:27):
And like, that's how cool he is is that that
didn't ruin him. I'm so all about jet skis, by
the way, Like that ship was so first time on
a wave runner yes, since I was like probably like
eleven or twelve. I think was the last time I
did for no, and I all full disclosure, not twelve
feet are like I was, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm reeling

(16:50):
over here. Yeah. When was that your first time on
jet ski?

Speaker 8 (16:59):
Really?

Speaker 1 (17:00):
You go on a wave Runner? Yes? Well, because twelve
why did you discern wave I have trouble. I know
I did jet skis where they you know, how you
could stand up and hold them up. I did that
ship and you could sit down on those as well,
so you could ride those kind of like wave Runner.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
Where do you sit on the back of it?

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Like where you stand? I feel like I did that
when I was like eleven or twelve. I don't think
there's a seat on those when you fold it down.
When you fold it down.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yeah, I've been lying to what's this whole podcast?

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Kyle?

Speaker 3 (17:28):
Was the first you come in? You say, you say
you caught twelve feet of air? We kind of let
it fifteen and let it. Then I ask you, you know,
I look like, yeah, so Xdam's air breads ever ridden
a jet ski before?

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:44):
You said no? Never, I said yes, And then you
go not since I was twelve.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Right, right? I haven't not since I was twelve. Well,
I got I'm confused a little bit, and I just down.
I'm still I'm still reeling from the fun. You guys
are all waking up in a different spot, a real
I'm coffeed up, I'm jet skied up. I'm fucking out there.
I'm drinking a liquid IV. I'll be fineing about one minute.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
There's my guy.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
I would smash a liquid IV right now, and let's.

Speaker 4 (18:12):
Throw it to Kyle, who is laying in a bed.
And it's not a deathbed, it's a life bed.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yle knew a check. He's post surgery. He just had
a big, big, maybe the biggest outpatient surgery. You can
have the final cut, the final snip.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
I finally got final cut, you know, final cut, final cut.

Speaker 5 (18:31):
That's pretty funny, from.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Editor to director to getting your dick cut.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Bro, it's the craziest. It's the craziest.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
One more time, Blake, I said, editor, that's a director.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
To getting your dick cut?

Speaker 4 (18:44):
Right?

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Was that it?

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Like it was really really, really good? Yeah, it's cut.
They cut my vast deference out. Gentlemen, can we name
the episode that they cut my vast deference out? Gentlemen.
That's what they did, and I saw it. And what's
the difference. What's what's the difference between I don't go
and no more started the paint? You start at the penis?

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yes, yeah, so no break it down for us because
we're sending live photographic evidence of you getting your dick.

Speaker 5 (19:18):
Snapped, bloody bandages and ship.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
And we couldn't really see what's going on, but it
did seem like there was a lot of blood.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yes, it was nuts.

Speaker 5 (19:25):
You do a Tommy tuck at the same time.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Hang it out.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
You were awake. I was awake and you could see everything. Yeah, yeah,
walk us through this.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
I went into the doctor's office and they basically were like, okay,
sit down right here and put this little you know,
undressed from the waist down and put this uh like
napkin skirt thing over your body. And I was like, okay, cool,
I did it. And I did that, and the words
take this knack and shirt skirt thing.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
And Taco Bell knap.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
You into the lake of the bros. Arc You went
to the Lake of the bros Arcs. Doctor, ah, shit, fam.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Skirt thing and throw it over your deck.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Hey dude, you might have cancer.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
What's up.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
I'm not gonna double check.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
A couple of napkins over your cock, real clean.

Speaker 5 (20:14):
The instruments are on a fast food tray.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Lucky you.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
This was insane. And then they were like she came
back in and she's like, okay, lay down, and I
was like, all right, is a girl? All right? Fine?
I will Yeah. Then she takes a napkin thing the
skirt off and she dumps this. She's like it might
be cold, and I'm like, what the fuck. And there's
this whole dump of just like you know that brown
fucking like cleaning liquid. No, sure you know that brown

(20:41):
like yeah, it just dumped I adyninge all over my
fucking dick and balls.

Speaker 5 (20:46):
Bro oh boy, I would pay to see that.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
It was unreal.

Speaker 4 (20:51):
Yeah, why did you send that picture?

Speaker 1 (20:53):
Just you're muddy looking junk. I'll send you the picture.
I took a picture of it afterwards, but I was like,
this is too gruesome. This is asty, Like.

Speaker 5 (21:00):
Did you have to shave before you went in or
did they shreat call?

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Did they shave you? Yeah? I shaved my nuts in
the shower beforehand. I did that. Yep.

Speaker 4 (21:08):
Leading up to did you can we throw to our
sponsored manscape.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
The Man's skate buzzers.

Speaker 4 (21:17):
With the light on it that like highlights everything. I love.

Speaker 9 (21:20):
Man.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, it's great product. You're gonna want the light Siller products.
Wait did you have to shave or did you do
that out of like a Curtis? No, you had to
I was like, oh fuck, that's why? See how much?
Why are we paying them? Like if we're at home
doing all the shaving bullshit? Thank you? I'm prepping myself
for surgery. Now come on, give me up there, hang on.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Hang on, hang on, so let's slow it down.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
All right?

Speaker 3 (21:41):
You shaved the nut sacks before?

Speaker 5 (21:43):
What did you eat?

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Slow it down? Slow it down? No, I shaved the
nuts like the morning up.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
It's bulky. But I considered carry on. Did you shave
the nutsack both both sides.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Or did what?

Speaker 3 (21:53):
Did they just go through one?

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Shave everything?

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Did you get underneath?

Speaker 1 (21:56):
I shaved everything?

Speaker 5 (21:57):
Did you shave both sides or just leave like a mohawk?

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Did you shave your buttle?

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Did you get that has nothing to do with my buttle,
It's only my balls.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
Did they go through the buttle?

Speaker 3 (22:07):
But I was just thinking you're already down there you
might as well.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
He doesn't know they're going to be down in that
area because your legs are going to be up in
stir up.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
I think if I would have did it the night before,
I would have got lost in what you're talking about, Adam.
But because I did it the morning of, I had
somewhere to be, so you raced through it. I did.
I was nervous first time.

Speaker 5 (22:25):
So it looks like a fuck it.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
It looked like.

Speaker 6 (22:29):
What's a good example of something that like a chop
of comparage, basically like there's a little bit of hair
come out of part of it.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
It's like a little patch, Yeah, a little patch like
a rabbit rodent.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, like the.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
World's Ugliest dog. Do you remember that photo?

Speaker 4 (22:44):
Oh man, Yeah, your dick definitely looks like the World's
Ugliest dog.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
Lucky you, that's what you said to the doctor. Lucky you.

Speaker 5 (22:54):
What is the movie where like.

Speaker 6 (22:55):
A rat goes through like some sort of like thing
and it comes out the other side all like crazy
and mangled with like a white eyeball slide in my
dms with that answer, people, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
Ninja turtles too.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
I think it's something like that. Somebody will know it
seems real, never fail.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
Are you a Satanist?

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Blake?

Speaker 4 (23:17):
Yeah, I'm super into same you are.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
I like his vibe.

Speaker 4 (23:20):
I like his vibeather.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
What's your favorite Satan song?

Speaker 4 (23:24):
My favorite Satan song?

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Question? A bunch of songs about the devil, like like
shout at the Devil. Yeah, that's a good one, shout
at the devil, running with the devil?

Speaker 5 (23:35):
Is it good?

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Running with the devil?

Speaker 3 (23:37):
Van Halen?

Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, that might be my favorite.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
That might be my favorite.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Rob Zombie has some good devil tracks that I'm as
a devil. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
What's your favorite Jesus song then? Or God song? Rather?

Speaker 4 (23:53):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (23:53):
I know the one you hate the most because it's
so good. You hate it because you're a Satanist.

Speaker 4 (23:59):
Do you guys remember this one? It's kind of it's
a little it's a little long, so just bear with me,
but it goes. If I had a little white box
to keep my Jesus in, I would take him out
in and put him back again. And if I had
a little black bucks keep my Satan in, I would

(24:21):
take him out and smash his face and put him
back again.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
Wait, so this is like a violent song.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
Well, that's what was really fun. When you would go
to Sunday school. You could really like get your aggression
out on that violin, like you could add to it,
like smash his face and step on his ball, smash
his fucking face.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
That's not very Christian. That's not very Christian though, right
did you say that?

Speaker 4 (24:45):
No? I disagree. I think killing Satan is the peak
of Christianity. We must kill Satan?

Speaker 1 (24:51):
Okay, yeah, I say? Or is it very Christian? You
know they got they got a history. We all got
a history of God views Satan bro yep. I would
smash his fucking f I guess off.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
Yeah, and then my Sunday school teacher would be like, yes, yes,
very good blake, Like.

Speaker 6 (25:12):
That's a cool like Sunday school teacher, like just at
home whistling. And then they're like what if I oh,
this could be fun song. And then like it goes dark?
Who is this person who's writing this song?

Speaker 1 (25:23):
If I had a little Jesus in a little white box,
and why is white good and black bad?

Speaker 5 (25:27):
Guys, it's it's all fucked up.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
That was established. Yeah, it's weird, you know.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
Lots of levels and layers.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, let's just it's anyoney's gonna be a box, thank you.
It can't be any sort of other.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
That's where I draw the line. Why has it got
to be the box? Man?

Speaker 4 (25:43):
What going to be a ball or a sack?

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Like a cup? Satchel grot them?

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, it can be a cup. Can't be a just
a pyramidic a cup with a top? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (25:52):
What the hell? Can't be a phallic symbol?

Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm pissed.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Now the suitcase. Now I'm hungry. We have had no breakfast.
I fucking went out on jetski.

Speaker 5 (26:06):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
You're saying jet ski as if you worked out this morning.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
I did. I'm standing the whole time. Oh do you
stand on it? Bro? Because I'm standing the whole time?

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Did I stand on it?

Speaker 1 (26:15):
I realized for hours? I stood the whole day, the
whole time.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Going to bed, I was also up.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
I went to bed at four and I woke up
about six thirty seven o'clock. Bro, that's rough.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
Yeah, you're on like two hours of sleep, bro, yes,
and coffee. I'm because you've done nothing but lie this
whole podcast.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
I'm not a good liar, Okay, I believe you got.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
Seven hours of sleep.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
That's not true.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
I believe you sat down the whole time, only it is.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
It is true. I got about six. What is what happening? Now,
let's take it go on around what time did you
go to sleep?

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Don't take this on a round the time you go.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
To sleep ten pm thirty four o'clock, which is two
of us. We're only talking about the time we're living.

Speaker 5 (27:06):
Yea.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
I was like, what the fuck I'm looking up for okay,
and so then what time did you wake up? Seven? Seven?
Where's the six? And then I went back to sleep
for so it really was like a workout. You hit
the wave runner. Sorry, Jesski, I don't know what we're
calling it. It's a wave runner out there. I'll let

(27:28):
you know. It's a wave runner. I read the side
of the fucking do hickeyes All right, okay, you know
what we did do on our wedding. I remember we
specifically did dessert first and then we had a second
dessert afterwards.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
We did dessert first, okay, okay, after.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
The processional, like, we all went over to party, and
then they're the orders that came out. They weren't savory,
they were sweet desserts, baby desserts.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Dessert first dessert.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
Yeah, and it was like it came from that, Like
it was like, let's do it did come from that?

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, I mean well yeah, well dessert firstus the thing
we would chant on Workaholics.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Specifically the man up episode, because real men eat dessert first,
the logic and.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
They drink road marks.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
So they dumped the ooze. They dumped the ooze all
over my dick and balls.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
Yeah, it's kind of a Ninja turtle scenario.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
And is that Iandine doesn't numb you?

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Right?

Speaker 4 (28:28):
No?

Speaker 3 (28:29):
Was your dick numbah?

Speaker 4 (28:30):
No?

Speaker 1 (28:30):
No, not at that point, but that's what they were doing.
They were cleaning it for the numbing.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
Because so and were these male doctors or was there
a female doctor?

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Female doctor was prepping me and the uh, she just
got to see all your nuts and stuff dude, straight
up of the job. I was blown away with how
open this process was, Like I was like, what is
going on? But just like moving it around and making
sure it's all clean and all that, like picking it
up dude.

Speaker 6 (29:00):
Yes, wait, did she have like she had gloves on
and stuff or did she use like forceps?

Speaker 1 (29:08):
I think so. I was kind of looking straight up, bro,
because I'm just like, did.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
She use her mouth?

Speaker 4 (29:13):
What?

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Adam?

Speaker 3 (29:17):
We just want to know you went to look at
the bros arks doctor. Did they use their mouth?

Speaker 1 (29:23):
No, not at all. She was very professional.

Speaker 5 (29:25):
It just this is going somewhere that makes me uncomfortable,
but answering.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
It just caught me off guard. But it was pro
they us all the time, So I have to assume
that this is par for the course, lack.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Of a better word. They were manhandling your cock.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yes, yeah, did she make the mouth of your penis talk?
She did not. She didn't play any games. It was
all business. It was all good. Did she do this?

Speaker 4 (29:47):
Can I just the locknest monster?

Speaker 1 (29:49):
I felt safe? Okay, that's just I felt safe, all right? Okay?
Then that then the doctor comes in and says like, yo,
I want to listen to some music. Why don't you
pick some music?

Speaker 5 (30:00):
Why do they even do this cool shit?

Speaker 3 (30:02):
He wanted to set the mood.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
They got the vibe.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
He wanted to set the mood a little bit.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Well, and I was like then he then he left.
He's like, I'll be back and then play a little
skint it out. He left, and so then I was like,
what is what does he like to listen to it.
I want him to listen to what he but he
would listen to you know, like what's up? And so
then I'm like, all right, fuck it, let's just play
some jazz and so jazz, Yeah, I said jazz.

Speaker 5 (30:27):
What if the doctor, Kyle, what if the doctor was
like she didn't touch your penis?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Did you? And You're like, yeah, this kid and they
have to do that. Let's have some fun. I'd be like,
h music do you want? You're like we'd al So
I put on some I said jazz. She said, Alexa,
play jazz, and then she played it. Shut the fuck up, seriously,
I swear to god. She said, Alexa play jazz.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
That's su oh.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I thought her name was Alexa.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
She didn't even drop some cold training on your face.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
No, it was whack. And then she left the room
and I'm like, this is not the type of music
I want to listen to. So then I was like,
Alexa play Allman Brothers. Yeah you want somebody improvisers?

Speaker 4 (31:01):
They play Almond Brothers.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
I saw play Almond Brothers. I thought that might be
a better thing to get snipped to. And then it
came on with like and I was like, no, this
what song is that. It was Jessica.

Speaker 4 (31:14):
It was, uh, it's from Guitar Hero for sure. Back
in our house, like throwback style to the good old days.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, just just very sweaty drinking a tall boy playing
some Guitar Hero.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
Songs.

Speaker 4 (31:32):
Each there's only it's one long one.

Speaker 6 (31:35):
I thought that was The Grateful Dead though ironically that like,
I always thought that was similar.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Similar vibe. Sure the Internet will tell us that we're wrong.
We are how many times that we're all collectively like, yeah,
that is the Almond Brothers, absolutely for sure. And then
the Internet's like, no, that was fucking Jamaine Duprie or something.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
Wait, totally not at all though, so deaf.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
That was Mom tell Jordan's you're like, you guys are
so wrong.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
Yeah no wait Kyle, did you say Jessica? Yeah so yeah,
no it's Melissa.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Oh sweet movie. I don't know, all right whatever.

Speaker 4 (32:13):
Anyways, Almond Brothers pops on.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
He's gone tell you what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
I uh, I got it.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
I'm getting a griddled baby. And then he got it.
There's this griddle last week and then he goes, oh yeah,
oh yeah, I got the griddle every morning, eggs bacon
waking up the flash eggs, and he gets closer and
closer every time he tells you he's like pancakes, ash browns,
everything you want, baby, And I'm like, oh, yeah, that'll

(32:42):
be awesome. People will love that. And here we are,
damn near one pm.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
Here we are not a they're on the table though.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
There What happened?

Speaker 4 (32:53):
Do you remember when we before we started the pond,
everybody was in the kitchen. Everybody was like making things happen,
and then they all just abandoned us.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
What the hell we were doing?

Speaker 3 (33:04):
The podcast?

Speaker 1 (33:05):
We're respecting.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I wanted it to be bustled. But the griddle is outside.
We could be cooking eggs and all that out there. Yeah,
so what's wait are they we're giving him one pass?
What we got one?

Speaker 4 (33:16):
Like one month?

Speaker 1 (33:17):
No, no, no, no going back.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
This was it.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
This was his swing so we can fire on your
dad's and I yeahure, dude, Have you guys heard of
and this is a real thing. Have you heard of
Disneyland gangs like where you wear your your vest and
you like rock your colors and you claim a section
of the park and like other gangs aren't allowed to
go into your parts or you guys like Rumble and Ship.

Speaker 5 (33:40):
Of course we have Satan.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
No, but they don't rumble, do they. There's no rumble.
I mean they might like snap their fingers and walk
in a circle, right.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, they're fighting Broadway style.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
Oh yeah, no, they break their fingers. It gets bad
out there, like the Haunted House, Hector's or something versus
like the Future Future Islands and Ship. Really, you gotta
look it up.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Future Islands.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
I made up the names.

Speaker 5 (34:03):
I think that's a bandure yeah, the band Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Oh okay, so you're saying the Future Island guys are
in a gang.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
They're in a Disney gang.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
The Mickey Ben. Wait, so how old were you when
you went Adam that you were just over at twelve
or something.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
No, I was fourteen years old. I just remember. I
was just like too horny to be out in public.
I was too horny.

Speaker 5 (34:23):
But it's Orlando. Titties were out no mom boob.

Speaker 4 (34:26):
I know.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
But I was jerking off all the time.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
It was not.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
I was like just dip it away to go jerk
off places.

Speaker 5 (34:31):
I'm like, it sucked, right, mini mouse.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
I should have just been at my house where I
could just jerk off at peace.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah, well, it is a bummer because you do when
you go on a family vacation, you kind of have
to like mom and dad sleep in the bed and
then you pull out a cot and your sister's in
the same room or your brother's in the same room.
It's really hard.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Oh yeah, there was no like two bedrooms. It was
all four of us sleeping in one hotel room. So
it's just me taking like a lot of bathroom breaks. Yeah,
Like I'm just always shitting you know.

Speaker 4 (34:58):
Oh yeah, you took long showers.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
I'm taking super long shrivers.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Why is a conditioner all going?

Speaker 3 (35:03):
And then my dad absolutely every time one knock on
the door, and he'd be like, uh.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
You're gonna go blind in there because he knew worth.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
It because he knew. And I'm like, you, I'm not.
Why do you always say that of the time.

Speaker 4 (35:16):
I was you had your dick in your hand while
you're saying like no.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
You like, no, I'm not, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, I'm jagging off. That's what I'm doing. I'm stroking
it like very gently, and now I'm working the head.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
Sure I am. I mean no, I'm using both hands right, yeah, No,
I'm standing up.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
I just have my hands in one position and I'm
fucking then I'm.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
Sure I am dad.

Speaker 5 (35:42):
Yeah, I'm watching myself in the mirror my own hands.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, I'm dropping into my own hand. Sure.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
Yeah, I'm using the detachable shower head to shoot up
my ass on my balls.

Speaker 5 (35:58):
Your dad's in the hallway going like.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
I think he's fucking doing it.

Speaker 4 (36:02):
I think he's actually doing it.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
Well, knock it off.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Then, yeah, there he is. Thank you for the eggs, sir.

Speaker 4 (36:18):
Yeah, I don't know that. I think that was a
later episode in the season. I don't recall which one
that actually later.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
I remember doing the bit was a later episode of
the season. And then he said, what did I say?

Speaker 4 (36:32):
I'm broke, man, I'm dusted.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
I'm dusted, and the bloody Mary's not I'm bringing you
back at all.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
It's helping a little bit. But I puked right before
we got on air. It's not good for some reason.
Like I thought this whole like Bros. Arcs Live cast
would be like a fun idea to do like in
the afternoon, but woke our ass up at like ten
o'clock in the morning to like do this ship.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yeah that was rough. Yeah, I was out on the
jet Ski and I was and I get a fucking
like a whoop woop come in. I'm like, I'm having fun.
I'm getting there. And then it's like, all right, cool,
come in here, and none of you guys even want
to do it right, I'm stoked on it. I can't
believe that.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Being said, I was like to everybody, I was like, hey, uh,
if you want to come on, you have like a
fun story or whatever you want to tell on the podcast.
You know, it's a bachelor party podcast. I think it'd
be fun if if anyone wants And everyone was like, yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Think they're coming in forty five minutes. They're going to
come in.

Speaker 4 (37:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (37:30):
They were like, we'll come towards the end, and I
said sure, said people, Oh.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
There's no one here, it's just us.

Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Adam's bachelor party is very sad.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
We have cardboard of our favorite celebrities.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
He made us do our podcast.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
I don't think this was my idea.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Was this my idea? It could have been, Oh, let's
walk it back, get the tapes. Yeah, that's walking back.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
I'm having a great time, guys, I am too.

Speaker 9 (37:58):
I my favorite episode of today, I think so of
the season going to a couple of later episode. In
this sear it's a three parter for sure, because there
was a photo.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
That came in the text from Adam's dinner. From the
dinner where you have your shirt of bachelor party text, Dude,
you look gorgeous. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
Yeah, you look really hot.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
The writings perfect. Everything is just really good. It made
me see you in a whole new light, thinking.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
And yeah, you're gorgeous. Hot as ship. Right, what happened
is you you leaned out?

Speaker 5 (38:33):
Yeah, what's going on? I'm back in the pool. I'm
back in the pool.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
You leaned out. He's back in the man, That's what happened.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
That'll do it.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
He's got that long lane once again.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Do you think I do you think I'll be able
to get that kind of body if I play pickleball? No?

Speaker 4 (38:47):
No, is that the one where you bounce it off
the trampoline.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
It's a very it's like a very small tennis. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
I don't know if that's.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
Going to do it.

Speaker 4 (38:54):
Okay, all right, here's the thing how you might, But
you have to do it for longer than a week.
You're gonna have to really stay on it, because I
know you're saying I'm playing pickleball now, But are you
or is this just.

Speaker 6 (39:05):
This muscle confusion, muscle confusion, stomach illusions?

Speaker 1 (39:13):
Fantastic?

Speaker 3 (39:13):
How much pickleball are you playing?

Speaker 1 (39:15):
I'm not I'm not playing. I'm thinking about picking it
up because the shot. Okay, on, shadows are trying to
get get going there on it. So I'm like going
to join them and we're some some pickleballing out there
in Toronto.

Speaker 5 (39:28):
Is pickleballing when you like finish a sandwich and then
you ball up the pickle And.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Okay, that's what I think it is. I guess.

Speaker 4 (39:39):
Okay, we got.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
Another Adam Ray from from the distance.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
Just said that he puked as well, So a three
pointer from beyond the arc, A fellow puker.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
I don't even know where he is.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
I just heard his voice, That's the thing. Adam Ray
has the most beautiful voice.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
He's got the best voice of our residence.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
Yeah, so it can be coming from it. It was
like the voice of God just kind of pierces your spine.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Adam, Thank you God, Thank you God. I'm a great bachelor.

Speaker 9 (40:14):
I like that.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
God is also the same voice as like Santa Claus.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
God's voice is the same as commercials.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Yeah, right, so setting the Moon? So then I decide,
I decide it's not the right track. It's not the
right track, though, I said, I quickly they they're coming in.
I was like, Alexa play Miles Davis and then and
then it went down.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Alexis confused, kind of all over the place.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
And then the whole thing after that was this like
fucking wild ass Miles Davis track that just like was insane.
I had never heard this track before.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
Do you know the track?

Speaker 1 (40:59):
I don't know the track, but it was you know,
it's like round about Midnight where it's just like he
starts to go nuts on some shit and it's like, wow,
this is the score to get your vast deference cut out.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
To Okay, it's bizarre, So okay to set the Moon?
What what we're imagining? Pretty sexy woman? How old was
this woman, Kyl that man handled your cock?

Speaker 1 (41:18):
I don't know what are we doing? Yeah? No, why
are we doing this? I don't want to do this, Mark,
let's talk about this. This is a professional person. I
felt safe.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Now you felt you felt safe?

Speaker 1 (41:26):
I felt safe.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
How old was this woman that man handled your cock?

Speaker 4 (41:30):
No?

Speaker 3 (41:30):
Idea sixty sixty sixty year old experience.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Now this is all Adam's making, this experienced and she's
flipping and flopping your cock around.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
Did you get any kind of a job or it
was too much, it was too sterile of an environment.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Not, it was very sterile, very safe. There was a
job to happen. It was fear boner, ferection, nothing, nothing, no.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
Fear bonner, no fearrection.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
I will say I did glance to make sure, but nothing.
Because it was so cold that could barely feel my dick.
It was so cold. This iodine was freezing.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
They know what they're doing was was their hands cold?

Speaker 1 (42:06):
The hands were cold. Everything about it was cold. There
was not a warm part of this whole situation. It
was all cold.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
Now you think they would want a hot, hot, hot
cot No, hear me out what Let me think they'd
want hot so they could stretch the skin a little more.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
Kyle, You would think they would want this, right, I would, Yeah,
you're right.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
I think that because it's everything's everything is kind of
runk up.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
It's harder to work with shrunk up.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
It's hard to get in there. You're kind of cutting,
zigging and zagging in the way that you don't want to.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
I actually think the cold is set up for a
reason because it constricts everything so that they're not making
wrong incisions or like following around the vein, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 6 (42:48):
Well, wait, so your balls go like up in your
body when they're cold, they kind of get close to
the to the units to maintain the So when they're
horm and loose, they got some slack.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yeah, but that's your balls. You're vast defferent stays closer
to the surface. And that's what I think.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
Where is that? Where is the boss different?

Speaker 1 (43:04):
There's two tubes. They had to make two incisions. It's
in the side of the nutsack, so on either side
of the nutsack.

Speaker 5 (43:11):
So is that through the butt or not?

Speaker 3 (43:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (43:12):
Not through the butt. They did not have to go
up through the butt like previously.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
Thought, but they did anyway.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
I asked them if they could, and they said, we can't.
Shay back that I did. I did get involved. This
was the one time I got involved. I did challenge
them just to see if they could go in through
the through the anal cavity, but they said no, So okay, crazy.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
The staying power of shawshank obviously everybody watches it whenever
comes on.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
It plays all the time on TNT. You're not really
watching Forrest Gump that much. Although I would.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
Say too long movies, too long Shawshank.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
I think is Yeah, they're both really long.

Speaker 5 (43:50):
We get running times from the producers on Shawshank Redemption
and Force Gump.

Speaker 4 (43:54):
I'm willing to bet one hundred dollars that Forrest Gump
is longer than shosh.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
You're willing to I'll bet you bucks. Hey, I'm willing
to jump.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
In the What are we saying Forrest Gump is longer
than shawshank prediction? No, one hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
I'm goings got to be longer, longer by like ten minutes.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
No, forestm is.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
I can't wait to take your Forst Gump was like
two vhs is when it dropped.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
No, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Both are two hours and twenty two minutes.

Speaker 10 (44:24):
They're saying, wait, exactly the exactly exactly, that's one more credit,
A couple more credits could have changed the runtime.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
This is insane.

Speaker 4 (44:38):
This is absolutely insane, Kyle.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
You're speaking inside baseball.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
We truly what have one hundred dollars on the line,
and you're telling me that it is the exact same runtime.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
That's but I don't believe when you make bets involving
any kind of money or.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Anything good for it. No, dude, friend, what is he
not good for it? What did he bet? We bet something?

Speaker 4 (44:59):
Do?

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah? Oh yeah, I had never saw that cash. Yeah, yeah,
you do.

Speaker 11 (45:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
But if you go back and listen, if you listen
that episode that was so convoluted and fucking you guys.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Yeah, he was saying that you're a lot.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
He's betting that was going to win the song of
the year, everybody versus everyone else, and you were willing
to put your one hundred dollars on the line and
your reputation. And then it didn't win, right that song? Yeah,
that song didn't win. Uh, and then no one saw

(45:43):
any money. So how is that convoluted?

Speaker 1 (45:45):
I remember over engineering the bet for the purposes of entertainment.
But did you say we knew what it was.

Speaker 4 (45:52):
Yes, I'm paying you daily liquid ivy, so drink or
that powder in your mouth or wherever you want to
put that powder. It makes everything better.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
If I had VENMO, I would ask you venmovie right now.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
I remember we went to Vegas, Uh, winning it was
it was like I must have been like it's probably
the next year. It's like fifteen or something. And we
went to Vegas because Vegas is like a pretty cheap
family vacation because they have all kinds of deals.

Speaker 5 (46:20):
I thought, you said you went camping, and now you've
gone to Disney World in Vegas. That's pretty good, dude.

Speaker 4 (46:25):
Yeah, your family was killing it.

Speaker 3 (46:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are the two places.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
Yeah, durstit. He didn't go on any vacations.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
I know, but he'd lived on a he lived on
Lake Michigan. Like he was like a block away from
the lakes.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
Yeah. I grew up on a houseboat.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
It's science.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
That'd be something. Yeah, So we went to Vegas. I
remember also too hornered to be out in the world.
I had to There was like a you know, they
just hand out porno on the streets.

Speaker 4 (46:52):
Oh yeah, wouldn't they tap it?

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Right?

Speaker 3 (46:54):
They like have those guys with the cards that are
smacking them and then they just have like little naked
ladies on them with like numbers, right, and uh, it
was strewn about on the street. I remember just having
to like I said, like I was gonna go get ice,
and then I dead sprinted outside, got as much shit
as possible, and then sprinted.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
Back and you just picked it up off the ground
and from like people, yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
From the ground. And then they also have like the
the like where they keep.

Speaker 4 (47:22):
Newspapers or yeah, the newspaper boxes, yeah right that.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
They just keep stacked. And then I stuffed it in
my pants and I came running back and got the ice.
And now I'm sweating because it was like a because
it's a Vegas hotel, takes a long time to get outside.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
For sure. It's the desert.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
Believe it, it's the desert. And I remember just my mom, like,
you know, thinking something was up. She was like, it
took you that long to get ice, and I'm like, yeah,
every machine and the hotels busted. I had to go
to like six machines. And then like later that night
she goes and gets she goes and gets iced, and
she's like the one and I'm like, they must have

(47:59):
fixed it, the one down the hallways working.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
They must have fixed that real quick.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
They must have fixed that really quickly.

Speaker 6 (48:04):
You're shouting this from the bathroom. Have you had you
have like all these things laid out perfectly. I love
that you're outside picking it up off the ground like
it's the fucking parade from Batman. Were joker throughout all
the cash and people are going crazy.

Speaker 4 (48:19):
Okay, good, good, raft points points.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
Have you been jet skins?

Speaker 4 (48:29):
You're getting everybody's.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
What's up? Y'all?

Speaker 3 (48:36):
Y'all, Tima Jefferson, everybody, We're good. He hooked us up
with the sunglasses. He's been jet skiing. He's having a
hell hell of a time at this time. He's one
of my mung angels. Yeah, he's one of Divine's mung angels.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
I'm an angel.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
We call him the Hopper. He's the one who jumps
on the body. I hear the board.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
I'm not a sorry Kyle.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
I'm a border.

Speaker 4 (49:05):
B Damn time I've got some representation.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
I feel the the borders don't get enough love. I
feel like theods is a better name. But the more
people are board bros.

Speaker 5 (49:21):
I'm I'm on Blake's angle right now because I'm a
border bro.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
Right here.

Speaker 12 (49:31):
Yeah, I'm just gonna say, Adam, I love you, thanks,
and I love you. Love Animal Collective.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
I love it. Oh dude, Yeah, that's cool. Compounded again.
Wrong shout out.

Speaker 4 (49:42):
A strong shout out from a Tiba Jefferson The Second.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Last Night.

Speaker 5 (49:48):
Hey, Animal Collective, If you guys are listening, I'm sure
you are. If you want to send us a new
theme song, we'll use that Animal Collective.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
I know these guys are big fans. I don't know
any of them, but I could just hell through their music.
They would like us.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
They definitely want to send us a theme song. Feel free.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
It's playing pickleball because I've seen people post about it.
It seems like a thing that is becoming popular now.
It seems like new age, like what like like beer ball,
like softball?

Speaker 4 (50:18):
Is it hip?

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (50:19):
It seems like every few years, some like sort of
outside sport becomes popular, Yeah, and lasts for like two years.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
What what is this? There's got pickles right there? You know.
I don't I don't know enough about it. I was
just kind of looking forward to it as a form
of exercise and hoping that I could maybe achieve a
body like on Earth by playing it. But I don't know.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
I mean, is it is it indoor or is it outdoor?

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Do you know that?

Speaker 6 (50:48):
I think it's either or it's it's either or is
it in a cage? Is it different than pattaball. Can
you hit it off the cage walls?

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Ship? You got me? Now?

Speaker 3 (50:57):
Is this like a ultimate fighting sort of what is this?

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Is this an octagon or a rectangle? I think it's
in a rectangle. I think it's a smaller version of
tennis with a mix with a larger version of ping
pong okay, and on a badminton I think it's a
badminton court with maybe a lower net. I don't even
know how high the net is. It's a low net.
I think it's a low net. Right, that's where it's tennis.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
So you're not hitting it against a wall.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Like a racquetball or squash, that's racquetball.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
Yeah, racquetball kicks ass.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
Yeah, I think I would like that because tennis I
fucking hate.

Speaker 4 (51:32):
Yeah, I'm very bad.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
I'm very bad the start and stop of tennis. My
knees are like they just feel like they're going to explode.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Yeah, you gotta get on clay court, man. You gotta
be able to slud, have to be Yeah, this is
the way.

Speaker 4 (51:45):
No, but no, that's not even the problem with tennis.
It's like hitting the ball in tennis is very hard,
Like if you hit it.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
That's my problem. I'm super good.

Speaker 4 (51:53):
Otherwise, Yeah, i too. I'm a little too strong for it.
It's always going out of bounds, like you have to
hit it over like the top of the ball or something.
This I'm very bad.

Speaker 5 (52:01):
Well, yeah, you hit it how you want to hit it.
Tennis is one of the greatest, the greatest sports.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
It is so good. I think it's my favorite sport
to watch. Really.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
Oh yeah, uh awkward.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Okay, So to set them in setting the mood, Yeah,
the mood's been set.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
A pretty hot sixty year old came in. Man, hit
your cock, cold flipped it around. They left in a
very professional, very professional man.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Huh. Well they're still in the room. Actually, she's in
the room the whole time.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Okay, she's there to check it out, to observe.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
In the corner, playing with herself.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
Yeah, to peeping Tom.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Incredible, we go, let's go.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
Okay. And then the doctor comes in. Uh, male doctor,
male doctor, male doctor, male doctor.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
And I've met him before. Okay, strong, strong hands.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
He dumps iodine all over.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
No, she did that, Okay, she recklessly Like the photos
you sent, like it was everywhere.

Speaker 5 (52:57):
Like without a bandon.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
It was a big, big dump.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
It look like a sloppy mess, immacly, but I think
that's just Kyle's dick. It's wide, it's the nutsack itself
is like bulbous. So it's just like a fucking it's
like a preach like uh uh, when you fell like
hot water with something with like that bag your mom
puts it like underneath the.

Speaker 4 (53:19):
Hot water bottle, it's a douche. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I think that's a douche.

Speaker 3 (53:24):
Yeah, speaker, Yeah, when your mom would shove that up
your ass?

Speaker 6 (53:28):
Is that why the top of its shaped like that
the top of what you dick, none of the top
of a hot water bottles kind of long.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
I guess you could say you there, fill with water
and then do.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
I don't think that has anything to do. I think
that's for people with back pans, and don't think that's
like an anal sex thing.

Speaker 6 (53:47):
Slide into Blake's DMS if you ever used it for that,
slide giving yourself a rubber mungang.

Speaker 3 (53:52):
So what did they give to numb? They have to
numb the penis.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
So doctor comes in. Yeah, So doctor comes in. He
says do and I say I'm fine. He gets another
napkin on it and pulls just my nuts through a
little hole, right, and so that's now his operating zone.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
That's when I come, dude, so little it's a it's
a glory hole, basically.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
It's basically a glory hole. Yes, and they're pulling the
nuts through, and then that's what he's working on.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
I've seen a porno like that for sure.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
He was like, hey, buddy, how's it going. What do
you do again? I was like, oh, I'm a director filmer.

Speaker 5 (54:28):
He's like, oh, right, you should have said I'm a penis.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Model and really and then he's like he proceeds to like,
you know, stab me with the inject me with the
local anesthetic on one side of my nuts, and that
fucking hurt. How long is the needle? Do you see
the needle? Like this is when I was like, oh no,
I'm so scared about this right now. I didn't look

(54:53):
at the needle.

Speaker 5 (54:54):
But if how long is the needle?

Speaker 1 (54:55):
I don't I would I don't know. I didn't look, dude,
I was looking straight up, and.

Speaker 5 (54:58):
I just would you how a would you venture to say?

Speaker 1 (55:01):
Seven inches eight inches.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Seven inches?

Speaker 3 (55:06):
So three times the size of your cock?

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Goodbye?

Speaker 5 (55:09):
And he put that in your buttthole.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
I asked him to. He went straight into the into
the sack.

Speaker 5 (55:14):
I'm sorry, I forgot okay, God man.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
No, I don't know how big it was. But the
pain went all the way up to like above my
belly button. God like it went. It was like it
went all the way up to above my fucking belly
button into your ribs, Yeah, into my ribs. And it
was like like you're getting kicked in the nuts constantly
for about thirty five seconds, and then it starts to Yeah.

(55:37):
It's like when they numb your gums or something when
you're doing dental work. You know, it fucking stings. But
then it's like all right, it's you can do whatever
the fuck you want down there now.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
Right Hey?

Speaker 1 (55:45):
And did they yeah? Okay?

Speaker 3 (55:47):
And was that awesome? Were you like the doctor's just like.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Well, I just started flicking it and punching it exactly
speedbag your ship. He's like the speed bag video.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
It was like, gotta make sure it's okay.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Didn't we watch the speedbagging video in the writer's room? Allegedly? Yes?

Speaker 4 (56:04):
Well, when Kyle said they pulled his balls through a thing,
I was like, haven't We seen a video where there's
like a woman like boxing text goes through like a
wooden board. Yeah, brutal, like she has still it's brutal.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
You guys have seen that. Yeah, I thought I was
the only one.

Speaker 4 (56:19):
Yeah, Like she's legit, like a like a Russian boxer.
She's like upper cutting this guy's ball.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
That It's nuts.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
Yes, dude, people are the weirdest ship.

Speaker 4 (56:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
We got a bunch of among angels.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Coming here and looking for the five eggs start.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
It's starting to bustle a little bit.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
It took about thirty minutes of respecting the podcast and then.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
Uh, they're like and now the wheels are off.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
The wheels have fully come over.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
We got pissed my.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Bed watching my wetbed mics.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
This is a bit right, and you're doing a bit
about kissing the bed.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Yeah, that's that wasn't for sure? You A good popos out.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
To you all today.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
I just want to say congrats Chloe and Adam. I
love you both. Thank you.

Speaker 5 (57:21):
Over here it's a sunglasses Yeah.

Speaker 12 (57:23):
I want to give a shout out to my No
Limit soldier neighbor who was listening to the pod simultaneously
as I was and he's been there since he was
five years old, so he's like probably twenty now.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
Who my neighbor. I was walking my dog and he's like,
what's up? Like you're going to the bachelor party.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
Oh he knew about it.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Wow, Now there's some hugs coming in.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
Oh we got to kiss, we get we're getting forehead kisses.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
I got a lot of bald head kisses last night.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
Oh yeah, I can't touch it if you're just joining
us now we're having He's.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
One of my mung angels, one of my many mung angels.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
Guy has a back on inside for breakfast. We're at
a dining room table in a house.

Speaker 4 (58:06):
People are behind us winning the stage.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
And yeah, how many how many? One, two, five, six, seven,
eight human man eight human men eight hungover human men
are behind us.

Speaker 4 (58:18):
It's like we've got a bucket. Like Henderson's had several Harries.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
That's what's happening right now.

Speaker 5 (58:25):
And that was another episode that.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
If Harry and the Henderson's had several Harrys.

Speaker 5 (58:31):
That's a good pitch, though, bro I think he just
cracked the pitch. Henderson, Harry, Dude, Henderson and Harries flipping.
So now John Lithgow. He goes into the forest to
kill himself because you have.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
Like a rough life. Yeah right here, he's about to
jump off the cliff.

Speaker 3 (58:48):
No one believes him that a sasquatch lived with his
family and it.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
Destroyed his vegetation family.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
He got divorced.

Speaker 5 (58:55):
His wife is like fucking like a real estate mogul.
Now he's ashamed, fucking a real estate mogul.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
Or she is a real estate She's both.

Speaker 1 (59:04):
And then took over his flipping houses on a reality
they're on a reality show together and they bought his house.
They were like, you can't afford to lift her anymore,
and they bought it, and he goes, fine and take it.

Speaker 5 (59:13):
He goes the clift. He jumps before he hits the ground,
and he goes, you live with us, now, yes.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
Come with us, and I do a John Lyft, Let
me do it for the pitch.

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Okay, Harry, yep, thanks for saving me. Yes, the Rock
from the Sun. That's really good.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Adam Ray, everybody Ray, everybody.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
It brings in third rock. So we're a third rock,
Harry and the Henderson's multiverse, got it. Yeah, there's the
lit the Lyft gal verse. Yeah, thank you. Gal Verse.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
Wow that that we're all rock.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
In the Oakleys.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
It's all coming together.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
And there's like, I mean, I love this pitch.

Speaker 4 (59:53):
I do too, and told it for me when Adam
Ray came in here and blew us out of the
fucking water with I love that.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
Adam so talented you he has a John Lithgow right
right right.

Speaker 11 (01:00:04):
Not many people I do want to say, I'm officiating
the wedding as John Lithgow slash Isaac Corn.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
Adam Adam making this wedding is so fucking punk rock.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
That's amazing.

Speaker 11 (01:00:16):
And Chloe Rage, get those Dennis Dennis d cancer free
eggs and bacon.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Ready, he's gone like the glip cow.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
When did you start doing this?

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
You first discovery you had a lip gow about five
minutes ago.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
Yeah, no way, I've done.

Speaker 11 (01:00:40):
My my brother in law, rapper Dirte brother in law
believes in Bigfoot, and so I make fun of him
for believing in bigfoot, and I did a lyft gow.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
Was rude?

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
Was that it's rude to make fun of him for
believing in bigfoot. But that's tight. But he's not a
little boy, He's an adult man, that's true. Got him.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
I'm with you like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but people's
going people are too sensitive. Now, you should be able
to make fun of people when they're dumb.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Right, thank you?

Speaker 11 (01:01:05):
Okay, the people that were like coronavirus, Corona beer that
made the beer made the virus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
I seen a sasquatch prince, and I've seen a picture
of a sasquatch.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
I've also seen all stop and we're allowed to make
fun of you for.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
I'm doing it so that you can't.

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
Man, this bloody Mary number two is way stronger than
the first one.

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
Isaac's Isaac's getting a happy hand on these pores.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I'm gonna be puke in no time.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
Well, Kyle, did you did you go on any family
vacations where you couldn't stop masturbating?

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Well? It was I had? Is it just me?

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
No, no, no, I mean you're a hornball for sure,
but like we all were. I mean, I'm I had.
I had the issue of not being able to masturbate,
and then I compounded on top of that, I had
the other issue of smoking cigarettes. Because I travel with
cigarettes as a night world I needed to find cigarettes

(01:02:06):
because I was addicted by age twelve, to the point
where I was stealing from the store and like stealing
from fucking ash trays, or like pretending like I was
eighteen and trying to bum off of people. So I
had this other issue.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
So would you like lower your voice and be like
a mine if I catch a fag or whatever, like.

Speaker 5 (01:02:29):
A cancer stick.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Yeah, it's important. Why don't you give me another nail
in the coffin? Huh, buddy, you know, just it's just
sticking it outside.

Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
You got a lucy or anything.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
Meanwhile, you're twelve years old. But yeah, I get another
nail in the coffin.

Speaker 6 (01:02:45):
Can I get another paper rolled up thing with the stuff,
the good good stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
With the packo in it? Can I get a cancer
stick that's very French and yeah British of it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
Yeah, durs is so foreign. I love that.

Speaker 5 (01:02:59):
He's my most worn I went to the US Open
several years ago when Adam and I were doing the
intern in New York and saw it fucking like Row
four because there was like the shady side in the
stadium and the sunny side. Didn't realize that no one
sits on the sunny side.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
Uh, and got cooked.

Speaker 6 (01:03:15):
But I saw Federer play Djokovic in like the semifinals
and it was fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
I went to the Australian Open. I was there doing
shows and I was in Australia and we were just
out walking and on a walk about. I was I
was taking a walk about and I was like, oh shit,
there's like a tennis.

Speaker 4 (01:03:38):
Match of some sort pickleballs.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
And then my agents were able to get me tickets,
which was very nice to them. But then we meet
like very quickly were asked to either shut up or leave.

Speaker 4 (01:03:50):
Oh yeah, because you can't talk, right, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
And then we stayed for like maybe an hour and
I was like, all right, I got we gotta go.
I am I'm too loud for this sport. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:03:59):
Man, that that why it's so fucking British. You can't
even talk during that ship, Like what a week? Ad though?

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
Nah, that's that's golf ship. Man.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
That's fucking sick. Dude, that's sick.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
Nah.

Speaker 5 (01:04:10):
You can't shut up? Is that what's happening?

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
You can't shut up?

Speaker 4 (01:04:12):
No, just do it do it in private and just
have cameras watching you. Why have people?

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Oh my god, you can't sit this is what it is. Yeah,
what the fuck? What you can't take You can't sit
there and respect the sport, nah, like enough to just
not talk.

Speaker 4 (01:04:26):
I can respect to I can. I can go to
court and watch like a murder case and be quiet.
But this is a fucking sport. I'm trying to cheer, brother.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
You're fucking that court. You're at a tennis court. There's
all time to cheer, but here's talking court. You're at
a tennis court.

Speaker 5 (01:04:39):
Here's here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (01:04:40):
This is uh, I need order in this court.

Speaker 5 (01:04:42):
This is the way. This is Like if you have
a guy.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Who you're cheering for, right, Yeah, are you gonna be
quiet when they're about to when they throw the ball
up in the air to serve No, I'm gonna be
like hit that ship, brother, right, and he's gonna be
like can you even shut the fuck up?

Speaker 3 (01:04:56):
Yeah. That's my issue with tennis as well. It's like
in basketball, like I'm I'm screaming the whole time. You know,
you're you're cheering them on, and like what why is
tennis so much different?

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Do you expect every single sporting event to be this release.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
Of Like, yes, that is that is exactly what I
want from sports. It's the one place I can go
to actually engage.

Speaker 3 (01:05:20):
Can't Kyle, can't fake yell without killing this guy.

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
Stay on the pickleball court.

Speaker 5 (01:05:26):
Man, Maybe maybe don't.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
Hey, we need to get you some actual exercise. Nuts
talking about playing pick a ball.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
But I'm good, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
So then after that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
People are in a weird sit So you're covered in
this brown goop. Yeah. So now Miles Davis is just
blaring fuck yeah, like the fucking trumpet's going nuts.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
So what would have happened if you picked some music?
If you like comedy, I mean, Miles Davis that that's
a little bit of a but I could see maybe
a doctor being into something like that. Yeah, what if
you just played slip knot.

Speaker 1 (01:06:04):
That's my just like dude, Mike, Yeah, just something that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:08):
Like the doctor is like, oh I cannot, I'm gonna
murder this guy to this music like exactly you played Disturbed,
It's like whoa, and he's just fucking jamming you with
a needle. He gets a little too aggressive.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
My my twenty twenty hindsight is I probably would have
gone with some fucking Metallica or some Pantera or something
like that. I think it would have been a better
su effect.

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
Oh you do think that would have been better, you think.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
Something that would have been more fun for me? I
was nervous because it was freaking me out, dude, Like
the fucking like it was definitely a surreal jazz movement
happening in the background, and I was a little It
made me nervous.

Speaker 4 (01:06:42):
You know what's weird is like the fact that you
don't know what track it is. Is You're going to
be somewhere and that's gonna come on and it's going
to trigger you. It's gonna send you right back to
the table.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
Yeah you're gonna be in a hotel lobby somewhere, and yeah, you're.

Speaker 4 (01:06:56):
Gonna start crying and starting to try to rub the
iodine on your cock like it's Macbeth.

Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
Feels like I'm being speedbag honey dude for real? Wow?

Speaker 3 (01:07:06):
Okay, So then and then how long did it actually take?

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
Care? So he did one side, he cut in and
did it. That was probably about five minutes or so,
and that's when I was damn did he ever say ooops?
And then well, yes, actually yes. So then he did
the other side and he had to fucking he did
the other side, and he had to torture me again
and put the fucking needle in the other side as well.

(01:07:29):
So I had to do that again. Wow, because it's
two sides.

Speaker 3 (01:07:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
So he did that and then went to work. And
this is when he fucking pitched me an idea for
a movie.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Okay, yes, dude, I love everybody has a good idea
on him.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
Well, he was.

Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
He was it sick.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
It was his buddy's movie.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
So I got an idea for a movie. It's a doctor, right,
and he's sick of cutting nuts. So he's just chopped
starts chopping guys nutsex off.

Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
In horror comedy Doctor Balls. It was just like some
fucking World War two. It was like a World War
two movie that his friend had written. And I was like, yeah,
all right, man, cool.

Speaker 3 (01:08:13):
What right? And he's holding your nutsack in his hands
when he's pitching.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
It, yes, and he's cutting my power move he's I
seriously said to him. I'm like, oh, well, hey, you
got me by the balls for this pitch.

Speaker 4 (01:08:25):
And he was like what yes, oh boy, you had
to repeat it, and I was like no, he.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Just didn't get it. I'm like, well, you know, there's
like an elevator pitch. That's what people say, have your
elevator pitch? This is like you got the pitch when
you have your patience by the balls. And he was like,
do you want to hear the story? You're not like
he did not understand that it was weird.

Speaker 4 (01:08:45):
Oh boy, man, Yeah, that guy's never gonna make it
in Hollywood. Boy.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
And I was like, all right, all right, yeah it
send me. Go ahead, grab my number and send it
to me later. Cool man, Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Wait, you gave him your personal number to send you took.

Speaker 1 (01:08:58):
It off the fucking records, bro, Can well give it
to him?

Speaker 4 (01:09:01):
Can we FaceTime?

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Can he be this second guest on the podcast?

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
And we're calling now and we're we couldn't reach him.
So he pitches me yeah. So he pitches me this
this story and then I'm like all right and he's
like and then he's like, oh, shoot, where did the
where did it go?

Speaker 5 (01:09:18):
Didn't go?

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
And I was like, what he like left four steps
inside you? He was like, where's the vast difference? Where's
the tube? I like to that was like, what do
you mean? Like, where's my vape? He's like, and he
talks to the nurse. Now he's like, is it on
one of the tools over there. Did I leave it
on the tools? She's like, I can't see it. I
don't know where it is or has he pulled out
the whole thing.

Speaker 5 (01:09:38):
So he's looking for.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
Dude, and then I like kind of sit up like
this and he's like, oh, got it, and I see
it just hanging off of one of his tools, and
I was like, fuck, that's the thing. That's the forgetting
thing that that makes me come real. Come, that's the thing.
And it was fucking bizarred.

Speaker 4 (01:09:57):
Oh my god, this is disturbing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
That was rough. I will no longer come real.

Speaker 4 (01:10:02):
Come hi, Well this doesn't feel like it was sanctioned
or do.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
These look like big strong nuts. Yeah. I was in
the back of a big lots.

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
At least dog. So this was at a real hospital, right,
It wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
It was, Yeah, it was all. It was all very real.
It just was a little surgery snaffoo like he doesn't
he doesn't need it, like I don't need it to
go back in my body. He just wanted to know
where it was.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
And it was just like, well, I mean, don't you.
I mean, in case you want to have more kids
in the future, you at least want that option. Right
if you can't find it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:40):
Yeah, do you get your old one? Or do you
get a new one? Do you get like a cyborg one? No?

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
I don't know what happened to these things. So I
donate mine. When I get mine, cut, I give you
mine if you need it, should you need it? Should
you need it? That would be yeah, I'll take it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:54):
Can we make it into like a like a ring,
or like should you need a necklace of sort?

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
That's tight? That's a great call. I didn't take it, man.

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
We put it in amber and wear it like the
Mosquito and Jurassic Park, and we don't wear it around
our necks. Absolutely, we put.

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
It in the top of a cane. That's a great idea.
I got to call him back. Holy shit, he called
me today. He dropped me the he called you.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
Yeah, bro, you need to tell that guy lose my number. Dude,
never never call me again.

Speaker 3 (01:11:24):
Oh whatever, Now, let's produce his movie.

Speaker 5 (01:11:26):
Let's produce your number still nine one one.

Speaker 4 (01:11:29):
You lost my bast deference.

Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
I woke up and puked yesterday. What well, Yeah, we
were playing We were playing beer, and so I drank
like ten beers the night before and I haven't drank
that many beers concurrently in a very long time, like
if we drank it in like an hour and a half,
I had like ten beers and was just so bloated.
The next morning, I'm like working out because I.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
Know I have to jet skiing.

Speaker 3 (01:11:56):
I'm working out by jets so tough, doing my crossfitty
ship and uh and I just yacked and it tasted
exactly like course light and puppy chow, like the perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:12:13):
Mix puppy chow, the like.

Speaker 9 (01:12:16):
Puppy child wait dog, not puppy chow dog Food's right, chow.

Speaker 4 (01:12:22):
Like money buddies, that's called the money, homie.

Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
We're in the Midwest.

Speaker 1 (01:12:27):
I don't know a goddamn thing about puppy chow for humans.
This is muy up, let me see it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
Okay, it's called muddy what not here?

Speaker 1 (01:12:34):
Yeah, this is a buddy Well, it is people chow
right here, by the way. That's okay.

Speaker 3 (01:12:39):
That's a fun player. That's a fun play, a fun play.

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
It doesn't say muddy nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:12:43):
I've never heard it called that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
I just gotta try it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:46):
Well, No, it's delicious.

Speaker 3 (01:12:47):
I love Well, you're not in California anymore, Okay, Blake,
you're in the Midwest and here we call it puppy chow.
That's a weird stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:12:57):
Is it is weird? It is weird.

Speaker 5 (01:12:59):
It does not look like dog food, but I guess
it kind of does.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
Dude, that's fucking good.

Speaker 3 (01:13:03):
But it's delicious. So anyways, imagine you puked that the
next day. It's actually kind of pleasant. When I puked it,
I was like, I didn't mind breakfast serio again.

Speaker 1 (01:13:12):
What do they call that a repeat? When you burp
and you like taste it, is that called a repeat?

Speaker 4 (01:13:17):
It can take two yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And
that's all just covered in in cocaine. That's crazy. That's
a really weird snack.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
There's a really expensive snack that we bought it to
local high v shot. Shout out to Hyvy food stores.
I don't call them grocery stores anymore food stores. Ivey
is a very Midwestern grocery store chain, and shut them out.
There's a helpful smile in every aisle.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
Oh that's is that their thing? Or you just make
that up?

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
No, that's their thing. Where there's a helpless smile in
every aisle, By the way, there's not I went there.
I'm like I'm asking this kid.

Speaker 4 (01:13:56):
People hate their life.

Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
Yeah, And I'm like, hey, man, do you uh you
know where the solo cups are? And he looked at
me like I'm a fucking asshole, and he goes, I
don't know, dude, it's my second day.

Speaker 1 (01:14:07):
Oh man. This started out as like love it shout
out to although.

Speaker 3 (01:14:13):
He was he wearing he should have been he should
have been.

Speaker 1 (01:14:20):
About these big beers. It's all about these big beers
and how loud you're gonna get when you drink your
big beers. That's the sporting event.

Speaker 3 (01:14:29):
Admittedly, big beers are way more fun than small beers.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
Yeah, that's what sports are to you, guys, that's what sports.
I'm still gonna send it. Wait, tennis, they also have
big beers. Uh. And by the way, I'm not I
don't disagree with you about how I do think sports
can or and should be just lowed the whole time
or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:14:49):
Okay, it's part of the game, but this one's not.
I know, And that's probably the reason why it's not
my number one sport. It's probably the reason why I
think happ.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
Happy.

Speaker 4 (01:15:01):
Gilmour changed the game of golf. He made it rowdy,
He made a fun atmosphere. I know it's a fictional character.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
Yeah, but then by the end of the movie, Yeah,
he was quiet and he was putting.

Speaker 4 (01:15:11):
He also learned by the end of the movie, the
big thing falls down.

Speaker 3 (01:15:16):
But golf has changed, like the younger crew of golf,
like Ricky.

Speaker 4 (01:15:20):
Fowler, Okay, go off.

Speaker 3 (01:15:23):
His nickname is big Dick Rick and everyone screams that
after he hits, and everyone likes it. At least I
kept screaming that with my big, big Giant.

Speaker 1 (01:15:33):
It's not his nickname at all. Everyone. But here's the thing.

Speaker 6 (01:15:37):
Those people are just trying to get heard on television.
They don't give a fuck about the sport. They're just
like shouting something to be heard on television when they're
friend's watching.

Speaker 4 (01:15:45):
Adam might have gave him a new nickname.

Speaker 3 (01:15:47):
He's like, what is Maybe maybe I got on TV finally, No,
that's what someone someone told me that that was his
nickname and so and then he loved it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
He was like yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:15:57):
I talked with him afterwards. He was like, I was like, uh,
did you hear me? He's like, yeah, I heard you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:16:02):
Tiger's nickname was huge cock.

Speaker 3 (01:16:04):
Tiger, Tiger, Cock Tiger, cock Tiger.

Speaker 4 (01:16:11):
Tiger cock. He loved it. He ate that ship up.
I have no beef with tennis. I just wouldn't give
it best sport, my favorite sport.

Speaker 1 (01:16:22):
It's my favorite sport, is my favorite sport to watch
on TV.

Speaker 4 (01:16:25):
I thought you said that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:33):
Okay, right now, there's a person with some things over there.

Speaker 4 (01:16:37):
Wow, we got some props coming in.

Speaker 3 (01:16:39):
Yeah, Zacha made a salty shirts. He he's christened everyone
the divine among angels.

Speaker 4 (01:16:47):
I will say, like, I was a little worried that
Zach was like in charge of getting all this stuff
done East it's just a surfer bro, a little like.
But look at this guy, prepared as hell.

Speaker 3 (01:17:01):
Game over.

Speaker 4 (01:17:07):
And we're wearing this to Michael's uh no bottoms on too.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
This is just.

Speaker 4 (01:17:13):
Yeah, I'm a little disappointed at how few dicks I've seen, Zach.

Speaker 5 (01:17:19):
Yeah, yeah, I did see your I just remember, didn't
you go skinny dipping to your dick?

Speaker 4 (01:17:27):
Is forgettable, dude, That's good.

Speaker 3 (01:17:30):
It's burned into my memory.

Speaker 1 (01:17:31):
It's a non starter.

Speaker 3 (01:17:33):
You got a nice looking cocksack, that's what you want.

Speaker 1 (01:17:36):
You want a forgettable dicky. You got a botch circumcision.

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
You don't want every to be.

Speaker 1 (01:17:39):
Like it's so small.

Speaker 4 (01:17:40):
You remember now I'm kind of remembering it.

Speaker 9 (01:17:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:17:43):
You wanted just to be like, that's a dick.

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
Great doctor, Like that's the gold standard of circumcisions. Is
your dick moving on? Oh, it's good, good circumcision.

Speaker 4 (01:17:54):
You were snipped?

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
Well great?

Speaker 4 (01:17:56):
I wonder do you know who did it? Do you
have his name or hers?

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
It was in the forest. Wow, wow, good adam. If
you was just sitting in at home, he's wearing all
sorts of.

Speaker 4 (01:18:13):
Sarah Jinna Forever maybe cozy.

Speaker 7 (01:18:18):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:18:21):
I love it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:22):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:24):
You have to jerk off and ejaculate twenty five times
in order for your wife not to get pregnant when
you have sex.

Speaker 1 (01:18:32):
Yeah, yeah, in order to reach the blanks in the clip.

Speaker 3 (01:18:35):
You know what I mean, to fully clean the pipes
out as they said.

Speaker 4 (01:18:38):
Yeah, exactly the clip as people say, that's cool man.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Yeah, but I cannot jerk off for the next seven
to ten days, which is really really a huge bummer for.

Speaker 4 (01:18:49):
Me, really hard.

Speaker 1 (01:18:51):
Wait good luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this was a huge bummer, Like,
like I thought that I was going to be like
chillen at home, like just getting rid of twenty five
of the of the clips or twenty five of the
bullets see the two of us, and it turns out
it's not that you actually just have to lay in
bed and get hell of vibro and fucking not jerk off,

(01:19:14):
which is like.

Speaker 3 (01:19:15):
So do you, uh, when can you start blasting off
to the moon? And how quickly are you going to
try to go through these twenty five are you gonna
Are you gonna say, yo, let me set a land
speed record and blast off twenty five in like two
or three days? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:19:30):
Are you gonna go nuts?

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
I don't know. I mean it's gonna be.

Speaker 3 (01:19:33):
Are you gonna say I'm gonna spread this out over a.

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
Couple of weeks. Land Seed a man Seed record.

Speaker 3 (01:19:39):
Thank you, man Seed record. Give it to him, Blake.

Speaker 1 (01:19:44):
Got it. I feel like this is gonna be. I'll
be able to like right around the Ozarks trip.

Speaker 4 (01:19:52):
You're gonna have your own private room at Adam's bachelor
party when you're just beating. Yeah, if you don't do
it on a knee board, private masturbation chamber.

Speaker 3 (01:20:03):
Chloe Kyle has to jerk off twenty five times at
my bachelor party.

Speaker 1 (01:20:07):
I got a tent from Amazon. It's like a forty
five dollars tent that like you can like throw and
then it just sets up and it's like a one
man tent. So I figure, like I'll just kick it
in that, you know, and just cool.

Speaker 4 (01:20:18):
So like anytime you get the urge anywhere throughout the city,
you throw the tent down and start.

Speaker 5 (01:20:23):
But it's one hundred degrees and that it's.

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
One hundred degrees. And also my parents live on the
side of a hill. Yeah, so it would be very
hard to set up a table.

Speaker 1 (01:20:30):
I can do this in a room, like is that
a challenge. I can do it anywhere.

Speaker 3 (01:20:34):
I do want you to set it up in a
room the room that we're all watching Men in Black
and on repeat.

Speaker 4 (01:20:41):
Yeah, no one's going in that room anymore, and you
just go into this.

Speaker 3 (01:20:44):
Room and jerk off.

Speaker 1 (01:20:46):
Yeah, but I'll be in my own room in the room.

Speaker 4 (01:20:48):
So that's the place we all go to watch movies.

Speaker 1 (01:20:51):
Quote en quote, Yeah, you we're really gonna need the
thing to erase our memories.

Speaker 3 (01:21:04):
Isaac woke us up at like ten thirty be like, hey,
just hey, you know, this is our manager, Isaac, just
so you know. He was at the bats of party.
That's how close we are to Isaac.

Speaker 5 (01:21:13):
He saw his penis, let's give.

Speaker 3 (01:21:14):
Him his flowers. I saw Isaac's butthole, fifty year old
man's very white, pink buttle. And he woke us up
at like ten thirty and was like, yo, their podcast
starts in like thirty minutes, and we were all were like, no,
it doesn't. And then at noon we finally got it going.
And boy, were we firing last week?

Speaker 1 (01:21:35):
Were we? I nearly remember it?

Speaker 4 (01:21:37):
And thanks for all those ms.

Speaker 1 (01:21:39):
Yeah, just kidding, I remember the whole thing.

Speaker 5 (01:21:42):
Dyle, you ate an egg with your bare hands.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
That's how firing we were. I was so fucking hungry,
bro speaking of scheduling, nobody's scheduled breakfast for a bunch
of hungry ass dude.

Speaker 5 (01:21:53):
We talked about that too.

Speaker 3 (01:21:54):
That one's on Dennis Divine.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
Yeah, yeah, we did so Yeah, depth doing hanging in there.
Johnny Depp, he's been out of the news for about decade.

Speaker 4 (01:22:05):
I think, hey, we've got some Hollywood goss.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
No, that's not that's not at all true. He's like
in all kinds of hot water because of a No.

Speaker 1 (01:22:13):
He like, oh, he's been out of the news for
about a decade now. I think he's just been in
hiding drinking wine perfect well.

Speaker 3 (01:22:20):
It was something like he had like a two thousand
dollars a day wine wine habits.

Speaker 5 (01:22:28):
More than that, it was, I think it was twenty
or thirty. It was thirty thousand dollars a month. I
think of wine.

Speaker 4 (01:22:32):
Yeah, that which is so cool.

Speaker 3 (01:22:35):
That's so much wine. Like he took his like Pirates
of the Caribbean character like way too seriously.

Speaker 4 (01:22:41):
He got lost in the song.

Speaker 3 (01:22:44):
It is crazy that. Chloe was like, holy shit, Durs
and Emma have been married for ten years and you're
not even married yet. And I was like, oh, I
didn't know it was a race.

Speaker 4 (01:22:56):
I mean, everybody lives life at a different pace.

Speaker 3 (01:22:59):
Come on, yeah. I was like, it didn't even dawn
on me that you're winning the game of life.

Speaker 4 (01:23:05):
DS.

Speaker 6 (01:23:05):
What's crazy is on our anniversary. Every year, on our anniversary,
Emma and I we always go another year Adam's not married.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
We clink our drinks and then I know, it's just
talking about it still ahead. That's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:23:19):
That is crazy. Though ten years it doesn't seem that
long ago. It's it just seems like I remember very vividly,
like being drunk in the fountain, like pushing each other
in the fountain, you know, like a drunk idiot, and
then watching, yeah, there's a fountain there. And you and
Emma were going to bed and it's like back at
the hotel and you were still like tying one on

(01:23:40):
and you and Emma were going, you guys, like, Okay,
good night guys, and we're like literally like slipping and falling,
climbing on top of this fountain. I remember the water
fountain and they were like Jesus Christ, don't break anything.
We don't want to buy it. We're like you buy.

Speaker 4 (01:23:53):
I love you, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:23:54):
I did.

Speaker 6 (01:23:54):
Like how like the festivities kept going even though we
like went to go pass out because we've just been
like glad handing and drinking all night. People were still
raging and getting lost and like stealing bicycles from the
hotel to like, yeah, go somewhere.

Speaker 1 (01:24:08):
I remember that Bogies. Bogies, dude, I have I have
a story about that from my wedding too that involves you, Adam,
because like we shut Bogies down, like we stayed until
they're like okay, you guys gotta go.

Speaker 5 (01:24:21):
And how would you describe bogies as an establishment for
the people out there who don't know what it is.

Speaker 3 (01:24:25):
Well, I to me, it feels like a bunch of uh,
well to do divorces that are either trying to become
swingers or they are swingers. There's just like old ladies
with big hart tits and guys with giant collars on
their shirts.

Speaker 5 (01:24:44):
Yeah, big chains and chunky walls, divorced.

Speaker 1 (01:24:48):
Dads with button downs that have like dragons stitched on
the back. Yes, and then also like like young like
looking for sugar daddy type situation ladies. Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:58):
So so that being said, it's fucking awesome. It's hilarious.

Speaker 4 (01:25:01):
It rocks.

Speaker 1 (01:25:02):
It's the sickest, the most fun environment to go get
fucked up at or just have a great time. Merce
and I were sober at our wedding.

Speaker 5 (01:25:08):
And it's in Westlake, California.

Speaker 1 (01:25:11):
That's right, very wealthy part of Los Angeles, so you
have a great clientele there. It's just awesome to watch.
So we shut it down and everybody was leaving, and
I was like, okay, see you guys. MRSA and I
were leaving walking to our honeymoon or or whatever marriage
suite or whatever. About to get it on the Bang Zone.

Speaker 5 (01:25:33):
Wait, you guys got the wedding suite. We couldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:25:35):
We got the wedding suite.

Speaker 5 (01:25:36):
We couldn't get the wedding suite. And you know we
got the wedding suite, and you.

Speaker 4 (01:25:39):
Know what, it's freaking white lotus.

Speaker 1 (01:25:41):
Come on, you know what. Kanye and Kim had to
stay at the other hotel because we booked it in advance.
They were like, this is normally there, sweet and.

Speaker 4 (01:25:52):
You bounced Kanye and Kim.

Speaker 1 (01:25:54):
Yeah, we did that. We did whoa.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
So here's the breakdown. Everyone got in Thursday night. We
got very very drunk, passed out, woke up the next morning,
did the podcast. It was pretty uneventful that podcast because
we hadn't done most of the bachelor party activities, right,
we just got really drunk the one night and then
we're hung over for it and we're like, it's someone
pissed the bed and that's that was the main event.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
We talked about that too.

Speaker 5 (01:26:22):
Hey, we're lucky that happened.

Speaker 4 (01:26:23):
The hot way to come out and somebody you had
barfed already.

Speaker 3 (01:26:27):
Right, I had already. I had pre barfed the night
before you guys even got in because me and my
two best men, Zach and Kyle uh got in the
day before and aggressively chugged beers. I puked the day before.
So yeah, we linked into that podcast. But then the
real festivities began. We jet skied all day. Yes, then

(01:26:48):
we took the we took the boat out. I thought
we were just getting gassed. No one had a credit card.
I'm the only person with a credit card on them.
So we go on the boat and then suddenly it's like, uh, hey,
let's go. Let's go to the ball and I'm like okay.
And then we go to the bar. There's like fifteen
of us and I'm the only one the credit card.
So I bought us all dreams. You're welcome flowers for me.

Speaker 1 (01:27:09):
This is the way? Is that why I had to
taxi these dudes across the lake?

Speaker 5 (01:27:12):
We were on jet skis, yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:27:14):
Blake and I and then we couldn't. You're not allowed
to like tie up a jet ski there, at least
so we were told. So we had to go back
and kick it. But but you totally can you totally can't.

Speaker 1 (01:27:22):
Yeah. I did learn how to tie up a jet ski.
After about the third taxi ride, I figured out how
to do it, and I'm like, Okay, this is tight, dude.
I'm like a boating dude now. But I also don't
think we had ties. You came with ties, correct. The
ties are in the seat. That sounds real, that's real.

Speaker 3 (01:27:39):
The ties are in the skies.

Speaker 1 (01:27:41):
And now we know.

Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
So we go to this other we go to this
pool bar, and that's when shit starts to get out.

Speaker 1 (01:27:45):
Of the City of Chompton, right, it was a city
of Chompton.

Speaker 3 (01:27:48):
City of chop next door, Yeah, yeah, chomped in Yeah,
shady gator, and so we were We got just pretty
fucking wasted over there. And then by the time we
stumbled that Bachelor red party was like, here, take our pizza.
They're taking our They're giving us pizza, we're taking. We're
taking the pizza. We're leaving. They chased us down to

(01:28:09):
the dock, making us feel like rock stars. I think
so we showed us them their butts. I think maybe
one nipple came out. I don't quite remember.

Speaker 5 (01:28:18):
You're stipping over all? Yeah so much?

Speaker 4 (01:28:21):
Yeah, they I mean, you can hit the gas on this.
We're seven minutes deep in the pod. You want to
draw this stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:28:27):
Out, man, What was weird for me is that we
were like not really interacting with them so much, and
then as we were leaving, they like chased and we're
like we have pizza.

Speaker 5 (01:28:37):
We're like, all right, we'll take some pizza.

Speaker 1 (01:28:38):
And then they were like, well, where are we all going.

Speaker 6 (01:28:41):
Out on the docks and we were like, we're going
And then as we drove away, for no reason, they
just started hiking up their bathing suits and slapping their
butt cheeks at us.

Speaker 1 (01:28:54):
Unsolicit.

Speaker 4 (01:28:54):
I know it's not for no reason. It's because we
were the coolest party crew in the.

Speaker 3 (01:28:59):
Zarks, baby.

Speaker 1 (01:29:01):
I mean, based on the Oakley's were rocking. Yes, oh yeah,
the outfits were great.

Speaker 3 (01:29:05):
Based on fifteen guys rocking wrap around Oakley's, no shoes,
no shirts.

Speaker 4 (01:29:10):
Well, I would like to shout out those girls because
when they showed, when they started that trend, we immediately
went back to our dock and then started like, man,
the whole entire lake.

Speaker 1 (01:29:22):
They got us horned out. Oh so it like it
got into your psychic the way back, you're bumping and
then you get on the dok and you're like, you
know what I feel like on the way back. Blake's
like I'm just gonna jump off the front of the
boat and we're like, what, we will drive over you.

Speaker 3 (01:29:36):
Yeah, you'll kill yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:29:37):
I did that a couple of times, and that was
the only time where I saw Adam's dad be like, hey, Blake,
You're gonna die if you do that.

Speaker 1 (01:29:44):
I'm gonna swim back. Don't do that. You swam around
the back towards the prop while it was going like
a complete fucking idiot.

Speaker 4 (01:29:50):
Oh, I knew what I was doing.

Speaker 8 (01:29:52):
Bullshit, bro, I did I know. I heard about it
and I got nervous. I heard about it, and I
got nervous. Blake is definitely the kind of guy to
die during a bachelor party.

Speaker 3 (01:30:02):
Like, He's the type of guy that is like, dude,
I can make that jump, and we're like, you don't
have to, you don't even have to jump, and then
he will like leap.

Speaker 1 (01:30:09):
For it, and you know, you know the rest. Yeah,
I'll leave forward and then died.

Speaker 2 (01:30:13):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:30:13):
You are that guy, pal, You are that guy.

Speaker 4 (01:30:16):
I am that guy.

Speaker 3 (01:30:18):
I might have told this story, but when I was
in Houston, we go on a walk and I accidentally
I got them in Airbnb started checking off. I couldn't
help myself. No, I got them this airbnb and it
was an expensive airbnb. It costs like ten grand for
the month. And I was like, okay, you know that's
that's gonna be a nice place for them to stay.

Speaker 5 (01:30:38):
Did they thank you for that, by the way?

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
Uh no?

Speaker 3 (01:30:41):
And I'm waiting, well, when.

Speaker 5 (01:30:43):
I see him at the wedding, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:30:45):
Yeah, let's crack. Uh no, and they But it actually
wasn't like it was like in the It truly was
in the hood, and so it was crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:30:55):
I was like, what the fuck? Truly.

Speaker 3 (01:30:57):
And so we go on this this hike and you
like walk past like a legit, uh, like a trash
what do they call that? A dump, like where they're
like compacting cars and ship And that's like where my
mom walks every day, junk yard, junk yard. And we
walk past. Uh, we go underneath this bridge and that's
where she turns around and starts to walk back, and

(01:31:18):
there's a car park there and there's just a guy there, uh.
And he's sitting in the car, just alone, stirring ahead.
And then I see a top of the head just
like wow, wow, wow, just chorging this man's stick. And
I'm like mom, what you walk you over? And I

(01:31:38):
go the guy's getting a blowjob right there, and she
stops and looks and just goes, goofy.

Speaker 4 (01:31:48):
Hey, that's the way.

Speaker 3 (01:31:49):
It turns around and starts walking again. I'm like, man,
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:53):
Yeah, that's the answer to a lot. That would be great.
If people just adopted that and just keep moving, it'd
be all good. No more rage, no more nothing is
just like this shit's goofy.

Speaker 3 (01:32:02):
Yeah, just like that's goofy.

Speaker 1 (01:32:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:32:04):
Anyways, I'm walking.

Speaker 4 (01:32:06):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:32:06):
By the way.

Speaker 6 (01:32:07):
My favorite part about the whole thing is how before
you go. I don't know if I've told this story
on the podcast on any other podcasts, you would know
if you told that story before. It's kind of like
forty other stories.

Speaker 3 (01:32:22):
My Snapchat memory is real. It's oh my, I got that.

Speaker 5 (01:32:26):
Snatchat very specific to every other podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:32:30):
Hey man, it happened. Oh sorry, mama.

Speaker 3 (01:32:34):
We come back over, We get to our dock, and then,
for whatever reason, I think those girls like shaking their
butt cheeks inspired us just to get butt naked on
our dock. And then we were just ass out for
and boats are driving past, like boats are span and
they're coming back for some more action. They're circling back.

(01:32:54):
By the way, this is five thirty pm.

Speaker 4 (01:32:58):
Full sme.

Speaker 3 (01:32:58):
This isn't this isn't late at night. This is full.
The sun is up, people are out and about Friday
on the lake.

Speaker 1 (01:33:06):
This is goofy, goofy.

Speaker 3 (01:33:11):
That's what my mom said when she heard about it.
But anyways, I'm going to that show tonight and I'm
very excited about it. It should be fun. That'll be
fun in your stadium.

Speaker 1 (01:33:20):
I haven't seen Weezer in years, but I feel like
I saw them like like three times, like right out
of high school, like just it was all weezered say
it ain't.

Speaker 3 (01:33:28):
So yeah, it's hot. We are weez Are Tours. I
hosted the Weezer Cruise I'm sure I talked about on
the podcast, but I hosted the Weezer cruise ship like
seven years ago or something, which was absolutely insane to
just be on a cruise ship with with like two
thousand Weezer fans.

Speaker 1 (01:33:48):
It was.

Speaker 3 (01:33:48):
It was awesome.

Speaker 5 (01:33:50):
A lot of hoodies, a lot of zip up hoodies
on that.

Speaker 3 (01:33:52):
A lot of zipped up hoodies. Everyone's very pale. Everyone's
wearing Converse, cool glasses.

Speaker 5 (01:33:58):
Yeah, a lot of cool glasses, a lot of a
lot of ectomorphs.

Speaker 3 (01:34:02):
They gave me the microphone because I was the empty
of the like ship of the whole ship for the
for the whole ship. We go, oh yeah, you just
walked around, right yeah, and they're like, here you could
talk and this is your God mic. You can talk
to the entire ship whenever you'd like. And I'm like okay,
and uh. Then I went to the casino. And then
I was like, hey, coming down to the casino. See

(01:34:23):
me in the casino. And then I started losing money
and like getting more and more drunk, and I'm like,
don't come to the casino. They're taking all your money.
I thought maybe, and then I was like, fuck, this
is bullshit. And then they someone came and took my
microphone away.

Speaker 4 (01:34:36):
From I thought maybe you naked gun did and took
it in the bathroom, right it contemplated again jerking off
and just jerking off.

Speaker 5 (01:34:46):
Who does number two work for God?

Speaker 1 (01:34:49):
Mike?

Speaker 4 (01:34:50):
Take the mic away?

Speaker 5 (01:34:52):
We took like a like a lineup of butts or whatever,
and ps, I have the sickest speedo tan right now
it is p uh. And then I just jumped off
the dock in front of everybody and spread my butt cheeks.

Speaker 1 (01:35:06):
That's a good move. The form, oh, the ramones. I
was like, how do we up at anti here man?

Speaker 3 (01:35:13):
Yeah, the form on it was exquisite. I'm like, if
the rest of us tried that, we wouldn't have been
able to get our hands back there full spread yours was.
It was like a diver level move.

Speaker 1 (01:35:23):
And I was very prep Yeah, I was, what are
you doing like the squirrel and the flying squirrel where
you grab your ankles and your butt cheets at the
same time. Kind of.

Speaker 4 (01:35:31):
It was a Greg looseus uh. And that joke works there,
it does. That joke specifically works there. I'm sorry, Mom,
How is your cock feeling on a scale from one
to ten right now?

Speaker 3 (01:35:47):
It's hurting on a scale of excellent, very good, good,
fair or poor?

Speaker 4 (01:35:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:35:51):
Poor, it's feeling poor, really feeling poor?

Speaker 4 (01:35:54):
You got a poor ass dick.

Speaker 1 (01:35:55):
Yeah, it's feeling poor today because I didn't do the
pain pills again today. I decided to just do them
yesterday and then today I'm like, I don't really want
to because.

Speaker 3 (01:36:04):
How much weed are you smoking? Are you smoking? In
turn of weed? Are you eating?

Speaker 4 (01:36:08):
Until are you self medicating?

Speaker 1 (01:36:10):
I'm smoking weed. I'm smoking weed. I'm smoking jointing after
joint after joint after joint.

Speaker 6 (01:36:14):
Okay, does your dick look like a sick dog kind
of laying there, like taking deep breaths, and.

Speaker 1 (01:36:20):
Like the dick and balls have become one, because I
have a I.

Speaker 5 (01:36:25):
Think they messed up, because because they have.

Speaker 1 (01:36:28):
Become one, there's no discernible difference between the two because
I'm wearing compression underwear to keep it tight, and then
I also have a jock strap on the outside of
the compression underwear, and I have ice inside of the
to be come on. And by the way, the water

(01:36:50):
in the lake was like eighty three degrees.

Speaker 4 (01:36:52):
It was hot.

Speaker 1 (01:36:53):
The water was warm. So nice.

Speaker 3 (01:36:55):
Admittedly it's so nice, I'll admit it.

Speaker 1 (01:36:58):
I had a thing about lakes before this weekend because
I didn't really dig them because when I was a kid,
I remember seeing some snake swimming around and.

Speaker 4 (01:37:04):
Like, ok, and I was like, fuck this, Kyle, great call,
though what I didn't even consider snakes in the water
were there?

Speaker 1 (01:37:12):
But listen, no, I didn't see any now going on?

Speaker 3 (01:37:18):
Whoa hang on? Hang on?

Speaker 1 (01:37:20):
Raising his hand, I went directly to a family reunion
after this Helicovia tests and I told everyone I was
in the Lake of the Ozarks and they go, did
you see snakes? No ship? And I was like no,
and they're like, oh, there's snakes all over that lake.
Oh fuck me.

Speaker 5 (01:37:36):
That would have changed everything for me.

Speaker 1 (01:37:38):
Oh fuck me.

Speaker 3 (01:37:39):
Oh yeah, well, by the way, I've never seen them.
My parents haven't seen them yet. I'm sure there are,
but it's not like they're all over.

Speaker 1 (01:37:46):
Like Ana condas. How big are these fucking snakes. They're
all Ana condas? Like nuclear power plants.

Speaker 3 (01:37:54):
Yeah, they're all Ana We're talking swallow ice cube hole.
They're all Amazon level.

Speaker 1 (01:38:00):
This is so weird. Wait, but what are they are?
They like water moccasins?

Speaker 3 (01:38:04):
I think there can be, Yeah, but that's any Laker river.
We go to the restaurant Michael's Steak La here at
Lake of the Ozarks. Let's shout him out this place
still love you, man? What an awesome restaurant to go to.

Speaker 1 (01:38:27):
Oh dude, I had salmon. I fucking had salmon. Bro
Shut up up, shut the everybody, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (01:38:40):
You have the floor.

Speaker 1 (01:38:41):
What did you just say, Dude? I ordered and ate salmon.

Speaker 2 (01:38:47):
This O my god.

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
This is now, this is huge. It's like the first
time I've had any kind of a meeting like foreign
foreign change. You know, I'll be five.

Speaker 4 (01:38:57):
Okay, now I'm understanding the reference.

Speaker 1 (01:39:00):
That's why i stopped the presses. It was like a
big moment for me.

Speaker 3 (01:39:04):
Hey, so arugeloids, feel free to slide into Kyle's DMS
and bail on it. Let him know how you feel,
if you feel fully fully betrayed or who's.

Speaker 1 (01:39:14):
Fucking who's pescatarian out there? If you dig the pescatarian
lifestyle or what because I'm highly considering it because that
salmon was bombed. Ship.

Speaker 5 (01:39:22):
Yeah, salmon's good.

Speaker 3 (01:39:23):
Yay, Yeah you should, Yeah, you should. You should be
pescatarian and then slide into.

Speaker 1 (01:39:28):
Cheeseburger and then get back into red meat, land cat chicken.

Speaker 4 (01:39:33):
It's a slippery slope.

Speaker 3 (01:39:35):
Yeah, then get some of them land. Kyle's, man, it
was really yummy.

Speaker 1 (01:39:38):
I'm gonna say this, This salmon there was fucking fantastic. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:39:41):
Absolutely, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:39:43):
And so we go and they have like what they
called the Winehouse, which is like a separate bar restaurant
just off the side that is specifically for private parties.
So we had the run of the place. There was
no one around, and we just got to throw down.
And we came in hot, hot, hot hot.

Speaker 4 (01:39:57):
We threw down as so freaking Luke talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:40:00):
What our manager did before, Like he was the first
one in the building and he goes right up to
the waiter and waitress, who were fantastic, and he goes,
look here, guys, it's about to get wild. Just roll
with it. Okay, don't worry about it, dude, Just it's
gonna get crazy. Roll with it.

Speaker 4 (01:40:18):
And I was like, you what, yeah, what is it
about to be a huge gay board?

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
Right? What kind of was We'll get there, We'll get there.
But even before that, me and Austin rolled in because
we took a little his car over there, and we
talked to them and they were like, we were gonna
set up this like Jaeger Fountain, but we didn't want
to go overboard. We didn't want you to think we
were crazy. And we looked at each other and we're like,
are you fucking kidding me? Set that bitch up. That

(01:40:46):
bitch set it up. Fountain was pretty sick, although it
smelled god off.

Speaker 3 (01:40:51):
Well, everybody was just licking it so like a full
Yaeger fountain that just kept pouring yeager. So you would
just stick your cup.

Speaker 4 (01:40:58):
It was just like a mean where you would have
like chocolate porn out or straight up. It was Jaeger baby.

Speaker 3 (01:41:06):
Yeah, and you just stick your cup in. So we
took so many shots. Yeah, not even shots. We were
drinking cups of yeager myself. Yeah, so that's where it started.
And then we all, you know, we're all sitting down,
we're ordering, and then I forget who started.

Speaker 1 (01:41:22):
I think it was Isaac. I think he took his
shirt off, like right after he ordered.

Speaker 3 (01:41:27):
He took his shirt off.

Speaker 1 (01:41:28):
I remember looking at him and being like, dude, what
are you doing.

Speaker 3 (01:41:31):
Not sure who started, but if it's Isaac, big big
props to Isaac.

Speaker 1 (01:41:36):
Yeah, some shit's going to go down yet. Well, he
just told the.

Speaker 3 (01:41:38):
Wait staff that it's going to get crazy, so he was.

Speaker 1 (01:41:41):
The only one with the shirt off. And then I
think it got interpreted as you know, you take your
shirt off after you order. I don't know because he
didn't order that early though. Yes, well then maybe we
were justifying it with the person next to his ordering.
The orders started over there. I want to say it
was Zach Maybe I don't remember who started. No, Zach
was all the way over. Zach's probably justified it because

(01:42:02):
he was on another one with absurdities that night, and
it was fucking fantastic. I'm sure Zach came up with
to take your shirt off so she knows you've ordered,
which is essentially the pattern that we all felt right into.
It was the best.

Speaker 3 (01:42:15):
Yes, So everyone around the table, the full like, what's
seventeen or maybe eighteen guys, total men that men, full
grown men, adult men that are too old to be
doing that very much. When you ordered your food, you
took your shirt off afterwards, And then it took the
waitress so long to realize what we were doing, until
finally she was like, oh my god, you guys are

(01:42:37):
taking your shirts off so I know that you ordered.
That's so sweet, and we're like, and she might have
been fucking with us, but we are all too fucked
up to even know if she was fucking with us
or not.

Speaker 6 (01:42:48):
Look at Blake, Like, Blake is super skinny, but he
works out and lifts fucking weight, so like, and he's
got muscle on there, right, But if he didn't do anything,
he would just be a little skinny piece of shit.

Speaker 5 (01:42:58):
What did they call you in his high school?

Speaker 4 (01:43:00):
Sperm afro fetus?

Speaker 2 (01:43:04):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:43:05):
And then you started lifting weights and you punched the
mirror and ship.

Speaker 3 (01:43:08):
Now he lifted that nickname away.

Speaker 4 (01:43:10):
Then I found God right, my box, God, my iron,
Jesus his face?

Speaker 1 (01:43:18):
What hotel? Which hotel was this was at? We stayed
at the Bogey's Place.

Speaker 4 (01:43:22):
You slept in bogies.

Speaker 6 (01:43:24):
Oh no, no, no, the Bogus places, the Westlake Village
and shout out, yeah, we stayed there in like the
top top and it was sick.

Speaker 1 (01:43:33):
But so we're going there.

Speaker 3 (01:43:34):
We're about to.

Speaker 1 (01:43:35):
Go there, and and we're leaving and Adam I remember
being wasted. Everybody was wasted.

Speaker 4 (01:43:40):
And so I go checks out did I do that?

Speaker 1 (01:43:44):
And there's transportation. Everybody's like, have a great night, knowing
we're about to go hack and I'm dude, I'm in
the hotel suite and good, I'm taking off my wife's shoes.
You know, we're getting romantic. We're doing the things.

Speaker 4 (01:44:02):
This little foot and it's like leaves.

Speaker 1 (01:44:07):
And I look down and Adam's fucking calling me, and
I'm like, the fuck is this? And so I screamed
and I'm like, no, dude, not right now. And then
I'm I can see. I'm like, here we go like this.
I'm like, what the fuck? So I screen it again.
He calls me a third time. I'm like, mursa, just
hold on and second, let me see what this dude
wants to.

Speaker 3 (01:44:27):
Maybe might be dying, who knows, this could be serious.

Speaker 1 (01:44:29):
Maybe he's dead, maybe maybe something happened. So I pick
it up and Adam's like, how the fuck are we
suppressing to get out of here?

Speaker 2 (01:44:37):
How the fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:44:38):
Where's the rides? Where's the fucking rides?

Speaker 3 (01:44:41):
I remember this.

Speaker 4 (01:44:42):
Turned into the Men in Black, Bad guy, Bro.

Speaker 1 (01:44:45):
It was the most wasted. It was just like I
was like, what is going on? But Marissa and you
know what's going We talk about that all the time.
You really made it memorable. On your anniversary, you talk
about that and then you cheers.

Speaker 3 (01:44:57):
That's where you clink glasses and make sure.

Speaker 1 (01:45:00):
Yeah, it was nuts. It was absolutely nuts.

Speaker 3 (01:45:04):
I'm sorry about that, but I'm glad I gave you
a memory that will last forever.

Speaker 1 (01:45:08):
And you're, yeah, now it's funny, you know it's funny.

Speaker 5 (01:45:11):
This still was just like, damn, bro, is that the
last time you took her shoes off for her?

Speaker 1 (01:45:17):
No, No, not at all, man, not at all. That's
something that I like to do. Okay, she doesn't take
them all. Okay, that's my territory.

Speaker 3 (01:45:32):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:45:34):
It's a nice thing to do if they're when they're
in the nice shoes. It's a nice thing to do
for your wife.

Speaker 4 (01:45:39):
You help take it, and I should do it more.

Speaker 1 (01:45:40):
I should do it more sure if.

Speaker 4 (01:45:42):
She wants you to, or maybe she's like, I can
do this. I'm capable of taking my shoes off.

Speaker 3 (01:45:47):
Please, a capable of adult woman.

Speaker 1 (01:45:50):
What I mean, so, bogies, has she ever taken off
your shoes?

Speaker 4 (01:45:54):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:45:54):
No, it might take my own shoes.

Speaker 4 (01:45:56):
Off, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:46:01):
And they were done with the surgery, they were like
when they were done with it, they were like, okay, cool,
put your pants back on and get out of here.
And I'm like, I guess what's about all this fucking
iodyning that's in my butt crack right now? Like what
am I supposed to do with all this ship?

Speaker 3 (01:46:14):
Because you just poured this, you got it, and you
were like, should the hount sixty year old nurse take
care of that from them?

Speaker 4 (01:46:22):
Finish me up?

Speaker 1 (01:46:23):
Should I just open up and say, can you clean it?
Can you come lpe me buna adam?

Speaker 4 (01:46:29):
I no, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:46:32):
I don't know about that one. I just cleaned myself
and crimea.

Speaker 4 (01:46:35):
That's not what happened, though, right, No, thank god that
you didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:46:39):
You didn't say that, right, thy God, that didn't happen.

Speaker 3 (01:46:42):
But my hangover was so severe it was a legit.
I've never I've barely had a two day hangover in
my life. I maybe had like one or two of those. Ever, Uh,
this was like a legit three day hangover. And this
is too much information. The third day, my body was
so extended, like I had just a stelly that wouldn't

(01:47:04):
go down.

Speaker 4 (01:47:06):
Your body was both extended and distant distanted.

Speaker 5 (01:47:10):
You were taller and your belly stuck out.

Speaker 2 (01:47:12):
I was.

Speaker 3 (01:47:13):
I was bloated for sure. And uh, I legit. This
is gross. Diarrhea for forty minutes straight.

Speaker 4 (01:47:22):
Oh the I haven't had diarrhea drops in a minute.
Diarrhea there it is the cause of diarrhea.

Speaker 3 (01:47:31):
Do you mind if I talk to you about diarrhea?

Speaker 1 (01:47:34):
Got five?

Speaker 3 (01:47:35):
This dude is hello, diarrhea forty minutes didn't stop?

Speaker 4 (01:47:40):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:47:41):
And Are you sure that's from the alcohol or did
you eat something that day?

Speaker 4 (01:47:44):
Yeah? Did you swallow us a lake snake? No?

Speaker 3 (01:47:47):
I did. I like food sounded disgusting to me. I
didn't eat anything.

Speaker 1 (01:47:50):
Well, dehydrates you, right, when you dehydrate, you spray diarrhea.
When that's like how it works. It's weird, but that's
how it works.

Speaker 4 (01:47:57):
The cause of diarrhea.

Speaker 1 (01:47:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:47:59):
Uh, like a legit three day banger for me, which
I've never experienced. I was like looking up, like do
I have alcohol poisoning?

Speaker 4 (01:48:06):
Like you did?

Speaker 1 (01:48:07):
Yes, you definitely did. Yeah you did. I do.

Speaker 6 (01:48:11):
Like how they're like I had alcohol poisoning. It's like,
well you drank poison I bet everybody did.

Speaker 4 (01:48:15):
Oh for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:48:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:48:16):
The train ride home was living in a night like I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:48:21):
Living in a nightmare. It's weird because the three days
that we were there, right, that's all it was, was
like three days felt like a week. Like the second
day felt like a fucking like three or.

Speaker 5 (01:48:32):
Four days because every day had chapters.

Speaker 1 (01:48:34):
When we had dinner and then after dinner it was
like fucking a So it makes sense that you're going
to have a hangover for three days because you drank
like for a week and a half in three days.

Speaker 4 (01:48:43):
But also we were being woken up at the crack
of dawn to do podcasts.

Speaker 5 (01:48:47):
That ruin everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:48:50):
Fuck No, you woke up like and then the next
day you woke up at noon or one.

Speaker 4 (01:48:57):
I think the appropriate time to wake up after extra
green partying is two o'clock extreme clock.

Speaker 1 (01:49:03):
By the way, I think I took a picture of
Blake uh sleeping because this dude, we know Blake will
just sleep in the most insane positions you've ever seen.

Speaker 5 (01:49:15):
Like he'll just find a corner or like he'll find
like a piece of paper and put it over his
face to sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:49:21):
Oh, yeah, totally. I saw that.

Speaker 3 (01:49:23):
He's like, oh, here's a dripping faucet. Maybe I'll just
crawl underneath it and sleep here. Oh this is behind
the toilet. Sure, this is a good place just to
nap for a while. Yeah, Like it's never like a
comfortable like, oh, this is a comfy rug and here's
a blanket and here's a little pillow. I'll just I'll
just crash here.

Speaker 5 (01:49:42):
He slept next to a bed on the floor.

Speaker 3 (01:49:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:49:46):
Sometimes it's a long crawl at the top.

Speaker 1 (01:49:49):
Wait, you did this time around. You slept next to
a bed. Oh that's not good for the knees.

Speaker 4 (01:49:54):
Right there, the sun was coming straight in through the window.

Speaker 5 (01:49:57):
Come on, I know, but like your legs, you're not
even on like a side position.

Speaker 1 (01:50:01):
You don't.

Speaker 4 (01:50:01):
I woke up in my my feet. There was no blood.

Speaker 1 (01:50:04):
In my mind. I was gonna say, you're cutting off circulation,
Like that's that's you're cutting off circulation.

Speaker 3 (01:50:09):
Hold up, look at this dude.

Speaker 1 (01:50:10):
Socks. The socks are like half on my feet.

Speaker 4 (01:50:14):
My my heels started golder socks halfway off.

Speaker 1 (01:50:18):
He sleeps heels out.

Speaker 4 (01:50:19):
My heels started to get hot, got hot, heels.

Speaker 1 (01:50:24):
Hot, hot, hot hot hot.

Speaker 3 (01:50:26):
So anyways, you get on the island and everyone's like, dude,
watch out for the deer there. And I'm like what
do you what do you mean by that? And They're
like there's thousands of them on that island and I'm like, okay, okay,
I'm sure, no joke, dude. Every day, like Chloe posted
on her story the other day about it might still
be up. Yeah, this giant buck, like this big buck,

(01:50:46):
this ten point buck comes right up to me and
I'm like grilling and have like food out and he
just stands like like literally like this close to me,
this fucking buck, and I like hand him a strawberry
and he's like eating horns and ship.

Speaker 1 (01:51:01):
Yeah with the horns and chip. Yeah, check it out.

Speaker 3 (01:51:03):
And it is eating strawberries like out of my hands.
And then I find out that strawberries killed deer got
killed this year, and they what are you serious? Yeah, dude, yeah,
I murdered a deal boy.

Speaker 1 (01:51:14):
Wait really no, no, strawberries don't kill deer and the deer. See,
I was wondering if that changed your relationship with wildlife
because what I saw in the video was very like
poetic and beautiful. How did I miss this? Was it
a story? It was? It was? It was.

Speaker 4 (01:51:32):
It wasn't mine. It was Chloe's like his emotional like.

Speaker 1 (01:51:35):
It was right after the other hard selter a. I like,
how that's almost to burn. Yeah, it was right after
that commercial she was paid for. Yeah, you know, it
just wasn't Ashley. It just wasn't trying to.

Speaker 3 (01:51:50):
Dish the Ashland.

Speaker 4 (01:51:51):
He's trying to diss my boys. Ashland.

Speaker 1 (01:51:54):
I'm actually just trying to bring it up so that
you could do this, you know what I mean? Because
I'm a homie.

Speaker 3 (01:51:58):
We're team Ashland over here. So we wrap up dinner. Meanwhile,
a Tiba picked up the whole check for the That
was incredible.

Speaker 1 (01:52:10):
He didn't know that.

Speaker 5 (01:52:11):
I think he left both his credit card and driver's
license there.

Speaker 3 (01:52:15):
Yeah. I also think he did ye goofy, so big
big thanks to him. So anyways, so we are wrapped
up at dinner, paid for it, we're out. We're trying
to see what we're gonna do next. We're gonna go
to some bars on the Strip area and uh Durors
set the two brothers in into a.

Speaker 1 (01:52:35):
Car to go home.

Speaker 5 (01:52:36):
They were done for the night.

Speaker 1 (01:52:37):
They were finished.

Speaker 3 (01:52:37):
They were done, they were to they were toasted, cooked,
and we were like we still got a little. I
mean also we were all sauced up.

Speaker 4 (01:52:44):
They had extra sauce.

Speaker 5 (01:52:45):
They were done for.

Speaker 1 (01:52:46):
They were done.

Speaker 3 (01:52:46):
Yeah, they were like smothered in sauce and they were
passing out while sitting there.

Speaker 4 (01:52:50):
They were smothered and covered. They were Jager fountain drunk.

Speaker 3 (01:52:54):
And so you did you uber them?

Speaker 5 (01:52:56):
So I go all right, let's cause it was like,
for whatever reason, we had to wait for them to
go home so we could go. So we were like,
all right, I'll get him an uber what's the address
no man Left behind theme?

Speaker 1 (01:53:06):
And someone goes like one, one, two, three, four whatever whatever?
The street is right, the.

Speaker 6 (01:53:12):
Address our street, baby Gator Lane, and I go all right,
typing it in and we're like it fills in. The
address popped up and I go, yeah, hit it, and
then I read it back to people. Your dad said yeah,
oh yeah, for sure, for sure. My dad just said yeah, yeah,

(01:53:32):
that's it.

Speaker 3 (01:53:33):
I don't give him. Later he kept saying his own
address back to us, and we're like, oh, Dad, that's
not your address, and he's like what I say, and
then he would say it, and then we're like, well,
you got it right that time, but the first time
you got the numbers wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:53:46):
Yeah right, And he's like, oh shit. He also got
the what it was away or a court wrong? Right, right,
he got that part wrong. And later on when I
was like court, he's like court Ham, like, no, that's
that's a real thing.

Speaker 3 (01:53:57):
It's on the other side of the lake, forty minutes away.

Speaker 1 (01:54:01):
So we put them in an uber. They piece out,
we go hit the strip, and I remember being on
the bus and getting to like that they had already
arrived within I think fifteen minutes or seventeen minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:54:16):
And it's like a full thirty forty minute drive back
to our place.

Speaker 5 (01:54:19):
I was like, oh, well, maybe this local dude knew
like a rout shortcut, That's what I thought. I was like, Okay,
maybe we didn't even to take a fucking half hour
to get here.

Speaker 1 (01:54:27):
Right, maybe he took the lake. Do you remember that
the trick that you could do with a Soaby bottle
when they were glass.

Speaker 4 (01:54:35):
Okay, yep, and it's here.

Speaker 1 (01:54:36):
You could fill it up to a certain point, like
to the bottom of the label and then hold it
at an angle and take your hand and fucking pop
the top of it hell of hard and the bottom
would just fall out. Yeah, the bottom of the glass
would just fall out.

Speaker 4 (01:54:50):
Oh weird, wild stuff. Yeah, that seems like a bad
kid thing.

Speaker 3 (01:54:54):
Yeah, Durth knows exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:54:56):
Dude, durs you know that. Yeah, I know you're talking about. Yeah.
Fuck yeah. It was the sy A ship, dude.

Speaker 3 (01:55:00):
Never, I've never heard of this at all.

Speaker 6 (01:55:02):
No, it was like some cool, like elementary school science
teacher ship where it's like watch, I'm gonna dip this
banana and the nitro gluzern and then shatter it.

Speaker 1 (01:55:10):
Right. Yes, it was the perfect amount of pressure to
just pop the bottom off this bottle and it was
just so sick. Chicks, dug it.

Speaker 6 (01:55:18):
Yeah, it was kind of like a high school kid trick,
like you know, like throwing lighters and exploding them exactly right.

Speaker 4 (01:55:23):
Or how you would go to like burger king and
roll the straws up really tight and then flick it
and pop them like zactly.

Speaker 5 (01:55:29):
Dude, I was so good at that.

Speaker 3 (01:55:31):
You start the like creamer coffee creamer on fire.

Speaker 4 (01:55:35):
It's exactly this is this is it?

Speaker 1 (01:55:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:55:38):
Or you would take a bottle of alcohol and then
put it as something like a cloth inside of it
and then light it on fire and then throw it
through your enemy's windows.

Speaker 4 (01:55:46):
Yeah, or you or you'd reach your dick and then
you'd you'd reach it around to your own bottle.

Speaker 1 (01:55:52):
What's up?

Speaker 3 (01:55:52):
Yeah, yeah, you take your dick and you take it
to your own buttole and shove it up there.

Speaker 1 (01:55:56):
I remember that. That was like a weird elementary school
science teacher move. Absolutely, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 5 (01:56:05):
But again, like Kyle said, chicks, dougget.

Speaker 3 (01:56:07):
Chicks loved that, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:56:09):
Chicks, No, no, we're just joking. We're joking Hawaii rules.
Like it's so good, it's the best. I love it. Uh,
the weather's fantastic. I went to a nice dinner last night,
first nice dinner since like COVID. Okay, did you tie
the napkin around your neck?

Speaker 5 (01:56:27):
You're like, this is fancy. I'm tucking in and up here.
You better freaking believe it.

Speaker 1 (01:56:30):
Dog. Actually, you know what I did. I got I
went to Mama's Fish House on the North Shore Mountain.

Speaker 4 (01:56:35):
Wait a minute, you didn't eat salmon again, did you?
You got a taste for a flesh?

Speaker 1 (01:56:40):
Now, I've been on a tear since the bachelor party.

Speaker 3 (01:56:44):
I have had Yeah, you got a taste for it.

Speaker 4 (01:56:47):
It's back flesh.

Speaker 1 (01:56:50):
Also, you said, haven't been to a nice dinner yet, Adam.
I thought the dinner at your badge party was very nice.
Shirts off but very nice. Well, we weren't able to
take our it's off being very formal.

Speaker 4 (01:57:02):
I got you.

Speaker 1 (01:57:03):
Yeah, yeah, and I had Uh let's see here. So
since the bachelor party, I've had salmon, I've had lobster,
I've had ahi. I have had more salmon and some
crab bro some crab dungress.

Speaker 4 (01:57:16):
Now welcome. That's just the ocean spider. Yeah, that's true love.

Speaker 3 (01:57:19):
That's awesome. So you're no longer vegetarian, so you're back.

Speaker 1 (01:57:23):
I think I'm I'm pesky. I'm a pesky guy.

Speaker 4 (01:57:26):
Okay, so are we are? We switching up the arugaloid
Moniker to pesky little bastards bugs buggers like ski buggers.

Speaker 1 (01:57:37):
Keith the ruguloid.

Speaker 3 (01:57:38):
But this is this is the pesky season Okay, I
don't know, man o season of the pests.

Speaker 5 (01:57:44):
I feel like we got to leave it up to
the erugoloids because this is a betrayal. So we get
back to the house and a Tiba and Knocker are
not there.

Speaker 4 (01:58:00):
Yes, they are missing. The boys We sent home in
orders sent home in an uber on me through uh
Dennis D's beautiful direction as well. You two were the
MVPs of that night.

Speaker 5 (01:58:12):
I'll take I'll take it all, I'll take it all.

Speaker 4 (01:58:13):
It was.

Speaker 1 (01:58:13):
I felt horrible, so I was like, oh, fun, Yeah,
that was a weird moment when you were texting the
address and we're like, is that the address to this house?
Is that this house's address? It's like no.

Speaker 3 (01:58:24):
Then he hits up us the party crew on the bus,
and we were like, we've got to go find I'll
go in a t but we weren't on the.

Speaker 4 (01:58:30):
Bus at that point. We were making some night moves.

Speaker 3 (01:58:34):
Night move, night moves.

Speaker 1 (01:58:36):
What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (01:58:36):
Yeah, we went to some strip club.

Speaker 4 (01:58:39):
It was that we're cutting.

Speaker 3 (01:58:40):
It was like the real strip club close and then
and then we're like we got there, We're like, oh,
it's closed, and then there's literally like a shed next
door exactly next door.

Speaker 4 (01:58:48):
Like exactly next door, exactly exactly or just next door.

Speaker 3 (01:58:55):
It's exactly next door.

Speaker 4 (01:58:57):
I'm still hungover.

Speaker 3 (01:58:58):
We're like, we stood in line there, and also it's
everyone from the bar, so we already kind of knew
everyone that was there. We get in, paid the covers
or whatever, we get, we go in. We're there for
like twenty minutes, and then Aco and and TBA we
find out that they're lost, and then we're like, we
gotta go find them. So we bailed from there. We
go to the neighborhood that we think that they're at,

(01:59:20):
right that we got dropped off.

Speaker 1 (01:59:21):
That we met you guys there because we took the
me and goons took the thirty minute drive back over there,
and then it was you guys in the parky bus
rolling uh and their phones are turned off? Done?

Speaker 4 (01:59:32):
Oh they're dead.

Speaker 5 (01:59:33):
You're like, oh, do their phones die because they were
DJing all fucking night exactly. They trained the battery with
half some That's all she's thinking. I was like, God,
damn it.

Speaker 6 (01:59:40):
If he wasn't DJing a reason he died death by Spotify.

Speaker 4 (01:59:45):
If you just wouldn't let a song play, what happened? Dude?
It was all hands on deck. It was like, weirdly emotional.
It started to thunderstorm.

Speaker 3 (01:59:56):
It was like, dude, we thought that these guys were murdered.

Speaker 2 (02:00:00):
They were hammered.

Speaker 1 (02:00:01):
They were hammered.

Speaker 9 (02:00:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:00:02):
Thankfully you hadn't seen ozarks at this point, bro, but
you would have been.

Speaker 3 (02:00:08):
So we're we're walking through this neighborhood.

Speaker 5 (02:00:10):
While I'm sleeping like a baby.

Speaker 1 (02:00:12):
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (02:00:12):
Yeah, by the way, there is of no help.

Speaker 1 (02:00:16):
Told Kyle Wallas and Kyle I go, yo, I'll let
me get my clothes back because I was already in bed.
I was like, yo, let me let me get my
shit together. And they're like, no, no, we got it.
Like you got to wake up and I go.

Speaker 3 (02:00:28):
Good night.

Speaker 1 (02:00:28):
I did.

Speaker 4 (02:00:28):
I did, couldn't sleep, but I was just had to
say it, just had to say it.

Speaker 3 (02:00:32):
And so we're walking through screaming these guys their names
so loudly that I was horse the next day, Like
I couldn't talk the next day because I'm.

Speaker 1 (02:00:40):
Like screaming.

Speaker 3 (02:00:42):
Bound in my chest, like where are you are? Managers?
Like going up to the address that we thought they
got dropped off it and like checking the doors.

Speaker 1 (02:00:50):
That was me and I did that ship because I
was there earlier than you guys, and I had already
pulled the doors just in case. Like and I'm like,
what the fuck am I doing?

Speaker 4 (02:00:57):
This is the dumbest thing, But I can't believe we
didn't get shot. What is it?

Speaker 5 (02:01:00):
It's like two or three am?

Speaker 1 (02:01:02):
Yeah, at that point it's like three yeah for sure. Yeah,
because we hit the pillow at like fucking four thirty
or something that day. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:01:09):
Four.

Speaker 4 (02:01:09):
I feel like we wanted the drama a little bit.

Speaker 3 (02:01:12):
Well.

Speaker 4 (02:01:12):
Adam willed it.

Speaker 1 (02:01:13):
Adam willed it. You fucking willed it. You did it.
We were all like, oh, yeah, he said, he said
that is true.

Speaker 5 (02:01:21):
Wait, yeah, Adam said. For it to be a true
bats porty, somebody needs to bar someone needs to get arrested,
and somebod needs to go missing.

Speaker 4 (02:01:28):
Check check check.

Speaker 1 (02:01:30):
We have two people go missing, that counts for the arrested.

Speaker 3 (02:01:33):
Yeah, there's no arrest luckily yet. So then we're like
we we are like, we have to go home. We've
checked everything, We've checked, we checked multiple hotels, we called
the police department, the hospital to see if they're like there,

(02:01:55):
and we're like, we don't know what to do. And
my my dad keeps going, no man left, remember, and
we're like we know, we know, dad, but we don't
know like what to do or where we're at the
end of our trail. And then he goes, he goes,
you guys can go, just leave me, and we're like what,
this is the opposite of what you've been saying.

Speaker 1 (02:02:13):
He's like, just leave me here. I'll check all night.
And we're like, well what, No, we're all gonna leave. Meanwhile,
I don't think he's gotten off the bus at this point. Yeah.
I think he's still sitting on the bus in the
way back seat. Yeah. I remember you and your dad
he was doing that and you're sitting here like, shut up,
you drunk all man.

Speaker 4 (02:02:31):
We're starting to get mad at your dad, Like Dad
shut up. This isn't a war movie, Like we're going home.

Speaker 3 (02:02:37):
Yeah, it's not a war movie, man, And so we
end up we go home. We make it home around
four am. We're all exhausted, we're wet, we're drunk. There's
there's nowhere to be found. There's there they are nowhere
to be found. We have multiple houses, my parents' house,
a house that a neighbor let us use, and then Airbnb.

(02:03:00):
We checked all three homes. They're not here on my
parents little peninsula, and so we're like, we have no idea.
Hopefully they made a friend and they're sleeping at someone's house, right.

Speaker 1 (02:03:10):
That was kind of the that was the hope.

Speaker 5 (02:03:12):
Otherwise dead.

Speaker 3 (02:03:13):
Yeah, and we're like, I have no idea. Or maybe
they got a hotel. And we kept being like, they're
smart enough to just get a hotel. They're smart enough
to get a hotel. They're adults, and so it's just true.
We go to bed thinking that they're dead. We wake
up to a text of being like, holy shit, bros,
slept in a barn last night. Last night was crazy?

Speaker 1 (02:03:32):
A sorry about that.

Speaker 3 (02:03:34):
Photos of them sleeping in a barn, holding each other, shivering.

Speaker 4 (02:03:38):
Like on a tractor, which, by the way, was a
block or two away from your house.

Speaker 1 (02:03:43):
From the house that they were staying in, my house,
in the house I was staying at, and it was
like they were two blocks away from that house. Yeah,
And they came in at eight o'clock in the morning
with fucking blankets wrapped around them, like shivering into my
room and I'm like, my room's not a common space
or anything like that. But they bust open the door.
They're like, oh, bro, you're still here. You're in here,

(02:04:06):
and I'm like, you're alive. This is awesome, but like
it's fucking seven thirty. I went to bed three hours ago.
You're big. Yeah, and you guys are in here now,
and I'm happy you're alive, but also like now I
got kids, I'm not gonna go back to sleep. I'm
not hungover it. So I was a little salty, but
like you know, it was all. It was also like
so fucking happy that they were there.

Speaker 3 (02:04:27):
It was a mixture so happy. I was like, I'm
gonna wake up and either it's gonna be the best
news ever. And this bachelor party was a huge success
and something that we'll talk about forever, and it's super
fun and I love having these stories. Or it's the
saddest bachelor party in existence.

Speaker 5 (02:04:44):
The wedding has a moment of silence, friends murder.

Speaker 3 (02:04:46):
The wedding has to have a moment of silence. And
we all thought, we'll.

Speaker 5 (02:04:50):
Only play songs for twenty seconds at your wedding.

Speaker 3 (02:04:53):
We all like candles in their honor.

Speaker 4 (02:04:56):
We're kissing fording. We better be able to fuck a
pit bull ap right.

Speaker 1 (02:05:00):
I don't know, dude, Now you know pit bull for real?

Speaker 5 (02:05:03):
Though maybe a labrador?

Speaker 1 (02:05:05):
Could you beat? Could you fight a labrador to pit pole?
Remember what you do with the pit bull? You start
the finger up the butt. That's what you do. That's
how you get it to release its jaws. I'm not
fucking round, but.

Speaker 5 (02:05:14):
That's how you kill it all.

Speaker 3 (02:05:16):
Kyle's all, every pitch of Kyle's just like you fingered
the butt. You then you start jerking the cock off.

Speaker 1 (02:05:22):
No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I
just said to get it to release, to get.

Speaker 3 (02:05:27):
It jerking the cock off to release.

Speaker 4 (02:05:29):
And then and now are there any take back?

Speaker 1 (02:05:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:05:36):
So what happened was the uber driver took them to
the place where I had sent them.

Speaker 1 (02:05:42):
The wrong address.

Speaker 6 (02:05:44):
They knew it wasn't right good for them. And then
they like, by the way, they turned their phones off
because I guess Atiba was.

Speaker 1 (02:05:51):
Mad at his phone.

Speaker 5 (02:05:52):
Did you hear that?

Speaker 1 (02:05:53):
Oco was? Oco was like I was, yeah, he was
like I was in a mood where I was just
kind of like fuck my phone.

Speaker 6 (02:05:58):
So they turned their phones off, you like so that
and then they but they took like a photo because
he's a photographer, Pho.

Speaker 1 (02:06:06):
They did like a photo journal of their journey back.

Speaker 5 (02:06:09):
I think they like got the guy a case of beer.
They're like outside the liquor store, like this is.

Speaker 4 (02:06:13):
When got Budweiser.

Speaker 5 (02:06:14):
Meanwhile, you guys are like, oh.

Speaker 4 (02:06:18):
That once I was back in right mind. I'm like, dude,
this is the Jefferson Brothers. They've been through fucking everything.

Speaker 3 (02:06:25):
I like how I was like, hey, I'm not going
to blow up anybody's fonts. I'm not gonna call their
names out.

Speaker 4 (02:06:29):
They don't care. They know it was epic.

Speaker 5 (02:06:32):
We can bleep it out. We can bleep it out now.

Speaker 4 (02:06:34):
We don't need to. They don't care. They're alive, they
partied super hard.

Speaker 3 (02:06:38):
We're not bleeping now.

Speaker 1 (02:06:39):
So the dude, the dude drives them all the way
back to the Peninsula and they get out and they're like, fuck,
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:06:46):
Which house it is, and they like looped around, and
I think the Uber driver was finally like, Yo, we
can't drive you guys around for like at this point
they've been driving around for hours.

Speaker 1 (02:06:55):
Oh they did.

Speaker 3 (02:06:56):
Yeah, they were like, we're looping around.

Speaker 1 (02:06:58):
At least one hour, maybe two for sure. Wow.

Speaker 3 (02:07:01):
Yeah, And so the guys like, I have to drop
you guys off. Thank you for buying me beers. And
I think maybe he was drinking beers driving.

Speaker 1 (02:07:11):
It's by the way, I called him and left a
voicemail with him and never heard back. Nothing. Never.

Speaker 4 (02:07:17):
That seems like that would have been the most helpful
person to be, like, oh, I just dropped your bros off.

Speaker 1 (02:07:21):
Yeah. So they turned off their phones and then bought
beer and was like, we're gonna do this off books
for beer.

Speaker 4 (02:07:27):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:07:28):
I don't know. Is that what they did. I don't know.

Speaker 5 (02:07:30):
I just saw the pictures that told like their their journey,
and I was.

Speaker 4 (02:07:33):
You can't be taking pictures if your phone was dead.

Speaker 3 (02:07:36):
Yeah, And it's them, it's them walking through my parents neighborhood.
By the way, three blocks from the house that they
could have slept in. From multiple homes that they could
have slept in.

Speaker 1 (02:07:45):
Yes, a lot of beds, a lot of empty beds. Yeah,
Blake wasn't using his.

Speaker 4 (02:07:48):
Yeah it was available.

Speaker 3 (02:07:54):
They just walked around until they were like, we can't.
It's also it's poor and rain, it's lightning out.

Speaker 1 (02:07:59):
They're like, I can't do this.

Speaker 3 (02:08:00):
We gotta find shelter. And they found like a shed,
crazy like a machine shed that they slept in and
curled up into attractor and they took shifts.

Speaker 1 (02:08:09):
They took shifts. They told me that when they were
wrapped in blankes. You're like, dude, I did first shift
and then I was like, let him sleep, and what
does that mean?

Speaker 4 (02:08:16):
In case the dude who owns the barn came in
and was like.

Speaker 5 (02:08:19):
Here's another idea.

Speaker 1 (02:08:20):
Let's not do shifts. Let's turn our phones on and
call our friends. Oh. I don't even get that.

Speaker 4 (02:08:26):
At that point, they must have been dead, right at that.

Speaker 3 (02:08:28):
Point, they must they must have been, but they're taking
photos well, to be fair, The very next night, Aco
took my phone.

Speaker 4 (02:08:35):
He thought my phone was his phone. And then remember
I was like, where's my phone, where's my phone? And
everybody's calling my phone. Everybody knows we're on high alert.
Where's Blake's phone? I'll go out in his damn pocket.

Speaker 3 (02:08:47):
And it was well, the rally for those two was
truly incredible because the next day, the next day, right,
it's we have a whole more one whole other day.
Oh and that day was so this was like the blowout.
Friday was the blowout day where we you know, blasted
it to the ceiling and we were like, okay, we

(02:09:07):
got to do it.

Speaker 5 (02:09:08):
We did blast it to the ceiling.

Speaker 1 (02:09:10):
Yeah, hell yeah, bro that classic phrase, lookout ceilings, we're
blasting it to you. Well that's also, yo, that's why
I fucking woke up so damn early and hit the
jet skis so hard because I was trying to get
some goddamn.

Speaker 3 (02:09:23):
Z's and we jet skid and then went to multiple
lake bars where we just you know, we're in the
those COVID infested pools.

Speaker 4 (02:09:30):
Oh yeah, Adam, can I real quick just put your beautiful, bubbly,
juicy ass in the hot seat for a second and
get your baby, get your opinion on some because I
know you to.

Speaker 1 (02:09:44):
Be standing down, sir, standing down.

Speaker 4 (02:09:48):
I know you to be a Coke zero boy. Have
you dabbled in the the new red can with the
black riding the new recipe of codd.

Speaker 3 (02:09:57):
Dude, I don't know if we can get this charged
right now. We're trying to dismount the podcast. But Dan,
I know, coming at me with all this fucking hot fire. Dude,
put me in the hot seed, just like this.

Speaker 4 (02:10:09):
Hot I'm allowing you to have a rip chord.

Speaker 3 (02:10:13):
Okay, Yeah, dude, it's it is good. I don't to me.
It's the can, it's the can.

Speaker 1 (02:10:19):
Yeah, it's good. Uh, it's I like how you just
you get bottom line.

Speaker 5 (02:10:23):
It's good.

Speaker 1 (02:10:24):
Let's let's talk about why and how it is.

Speaker 3 (02:10:27):
It's it's good. You're if you like Coke zero, you
like it?

Speaker 1 (02:10:30):
Right? God so happy we're all alive.

Speaker 4 (02:10:34):
Yeah, me too.

Speaker 3 (02:10:36):
Big shout out to UH to Dennis divine uh for
for keeping it all together, for keeping Blake alive.

Speaker 1 (02:10:42):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (02:10:43):
We were when we were coming back from the second
pool bar, yep, super spreader, and we were all pretty
ship face at this time. We were passing around a
jug of vodka and we had a keg on the
boat that we were pouring into each other's mouth and
just chugging out of the vodka handle.

Speaker 4 (02:11:00):
We also met some really cool Saint lunatics at the
pool who were really cool.

Speaker 3 (02:11:05):
Oh yeah, there were maniacs.

Speaker 1 (02:11:07):
Yeah. Uh yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:11:08):
They kept sitting on my head. That was I thought
I was gonna break my neck.

Speaker 1 (02:11:11):
Who's uh Murphy Lee?

Speaker 4 (02:11:13):
Yeah, yes, yes, Murphy Lee was there.

Speaker 2 (02:11:15):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (02:11:16):
These these BB dubs were were dancing and they were like,
whose bachelor party is? And I'm like mine. I'm just
sort of like leaning up against something and all of
a sudden, I just feel like, don't, don't, don't do
like on top of my head, twerking on my on
my head. And then a waitress or someone had to
or the manager had to come over and be like, hey,
you know tworking, there's children here, and we're like, wait,
there's children here. And then you look over to the

(02:11:37):
right there's like a kid's pool.

Speaker 1 (02:11:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:11:39):
That was the weirdest part of the ozar What there
was always a kid's pool at these weird pool parties. Dude,
that was disturbing. I didn't like that the noose are
working was where they drew. That's where they drew the line.

Speaker 3 (02:11:50):
Yea where they drew the line, Oh my gosh, good.

Speaker 1 (02:11:54):
Job at him.

Speaker 4 (02:11:54):
You fucking you know, the Bachelor party kind of follows
the Bachelor and you were.

Speaker 1 (02:11:59):
On it man, Yeah, you bout the fury job.

Speaker 4 (02:12:01):
I was impressed, and it takes a lot to impress me,
and I was impressed.

Speaker 3 (02:12:06):
Chloe came in the day that you guys left. She
came in Sunday, and then she just watched me be
the most hungover person she's ever seen in three days.
And I have a big shout out to Chloe for
not shaming me, for holding me like a child and
nursing me back to health. So big shout out to
Chloe Bridges soon to be Chloe Devine.

Speaker 2 (02:12:26):
There we go.

Speaker 3 (02:12:26):
You know what, I think I'm going to keep her.

Speaker 4 (02:12:32):
Well.

Speaker 3 (02:12:33):
Guys, thank you for listening to this absolutely insane episode.
We're pretty hungover. My mom's here.

Speaker 2 (02:12:43):
Wow, Hi.

Speaker 3 (02:12:47):
Say something really funny, something really funny.

Speaker 2 (02:12:50):
Yeah, the jumps are in the gene.

Speaker 11 (02:13:04):
That was sick.

Speaker 3 (02:13:05):
Oh hell yeah. Dennis Denis, Denis Denis.

Speaker 2 (02:13:16):
Doesn't get a lot better.

Speaker 3 (02:13:17):
Mog angels, mogels, mongels, angels, and Angel said another episode,
this is.

Speaker 1 (02:13:30):
Mere.

Speaker 4 (02:13:32):
Hear me here.

Speaker 2 (02:13:33):
I did not get tell I didn't get to here.

Speaker 3 (02:13:36):
Why about wow, God,