Ep 46: Christians Got Merch On Lock

Today, this is what's important:

The sickness, MTV VJ's, the Jesus merch game, country music, Adam's Bachelor party, munging, Adam's rental car drama, getting politically charged, Men In Black, and more.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of I Heart Radio,
the show where we only talk about what's the most important,
bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet today. This
is important. Come on down to Terry's and get a
titty twister. When your soul needs to jerk off and

(00:22):
you've got to have the chicken soup. I'm gonna talk
to you about a pretty cool guy named his Zeus
Perceval grabbed that corpse, says Lancelot, cannonballs onto its stomach.
Buckle up, my brother. Yeah, you guys are all in

(00:45):
sync on that clap. I was a little early pre clap.
Let's talk about your sickness. Let's talk about your pre clap.
Oh wait what, let's talk about your sickness. Dude, I
want to talk about We had to push the podcast
a few days. Durs was sicky. He thought he had
the delta veryan, did you have the delta variant? Did you?
Were you concerned with the delta? You want to talk

(01:06):
sickness for a quickness, we would like to get down
with it. Let's do it, sickness and thickness. I well,
let's just give the little backstory Monday. Please, let's walk
it back. It's important. Around dinner time, I just felt
like I got hit with a ton of bricks and
was like, what the fuck? Um? And then was just

(01:27):
cold sweats, no fever, but just sweating and shivering and
shipping uh and nausea right, And I was like, well,
I got delta, and I got delta. I don't know
how I got it. I haven't been out, but I
got it. But I got tested. I got no COVID. Okay, yeah, obviously, dude,
But I was on my ASK for three and a
half days, like just fucking I don't know food poisoning.

(01:51):
You got a regular sickness, man, And I feel like
every time anyone gets sick now they're like, and it's COVID.
But it's not always the case. You can get regg sick. Yeah, right,
you could get regular diarrhea, plain old diarrhea. I was
just hoping like TMZ would pick it up, like there's home,
gut and then I'm back, guys, and then like the
agents are calling there like we saw you on TMZ

(02:14):
and I go, oh, now you're calling, and then and
then I Die'd be funny if you did get COVID,
you'd call your publicist immediately right, like that's the move.
Absolutely one hunted, absolutely, and then it would be like
MTV Real Life, I have COVID right right, Kurt Loder
would be at my house quick, get him over here,
or Caduce would show up at the house and go,

(02:36):
hey man, wait wait who is Calduce? Suduce was like
the thin, handsome um like curly hair, light skive maybe
mixed black white dude. I don't know his background. That's tech,
wasn't that? No, know that you're thinking tech money from
real world, real world? Absolutely always Seattle, I believe damn,
I'm talking male model. Coulduce could do? How are we

(03:00):
spelling conduced? Do you know the spelling of that? To
anybody's we're not spelling were we know better, we're not
spelling it and we have our people on it right now. Well,
Dirk's knowledge of MTV VJs is remarkable. That's pretty deep.
You're the perfect age though, I think, because you know
the older guys older than and then you also know

(03:22):
the young guys, Like I feel like we're just like
two or three years younger than you. Twelve years younger
feels like it feels like a decade younger. But we
and we're always talking a few years younger, and you
also had older brothers, so I feel like you your
knowledge of things that are older than us is way
beyond us. Because sometimes you'll drop a name much like Caduced.

(03:44):
I have no idea of who that is, no idea,
but to be fair, you guys should know Conduced. Do
you know Ana Lewis? I do know Anana Lewis? Okay,
if I had to guess who produces, it's Q you
D D U S. And if that's just my guess,
that amazing. That's just you're not reading off like a me.
That's how you spell couldduce? I thought it would be
K A d O O s E. Hey, dude, could duce?

(04:07):
You might be a racist? Okay, you don't know how
to spell coulduce? Man? Wait, what an awesome name. That's
an awesome name. That is an awesome name, right. I
don't feel like my spelling pointed to me being racist
in any way. That was a racist spelling. That was
a racist spelling. I was just sounding it out. I
was doing my best. Yeah, it's well, to be fair,

(04:28):
you can't do that. I can't do that. It's racist
to just go I could probably win it. I'm a
white man who probably knows how to spell it. No,
you don't, you look it up? You know, you learn it,
you look it up. But he was just trying. He
was just trying to be phonetic. That's what trying is,
white ship. And I'm sick of trying. Do better. Hashtag

(04:49):
do better, motherfucker, do better, But don't try. You better, right,
hashtag look it up and then when you're sure of it,
proved that you've looked it up right, right, okay, And
don't be a racist. That's Korea, to be fair. There
was a glory day of vj's right like when they
were doing that, because what I remember is getting swept

(05:09):
up in the storm of like the next VJ. And
of course i'm talking about Jesse Camp for anybody. I
saw him at an audition for like a like a
Pepsi commercial, like way back in the day, like four
oh five, and I was starstruck. I was like, look
at this skinny motherfucker. He's getting it. PEPSI wants him.

(05:31):
How amazing was it that? I think he was up
against Dave Holmes, who Dave Holmes knew like everything about music.
He was Matt Penfield type still in the very very
still he's a comic and all that, but like he
could read off the prompter perfectly and he'd be like
and where he would like send it to the next person,
and then Jesse be like, yeah, I don't know what's
going on, but up next more music and everyone losership

(05:54):
and everyone's like he's that god dude. And I was.
I was in the Jesse camp amp. I wanted him
to win. He was like, you were, but Dave Holmes
will just be looking at his he'd be looking at
his shoes like you gotta be kidding me. I feel
like I was born for this job and this off
the street homeless kid has like a better story, encyclopedia, encyclopedia,

(06:17):
knowledge of all things music, just he could just recall everything,
and Jesse was just like, yeah, semi signing. Did you
guys feel that? Is that the death? Is that when
the MTV started to die? And I want to say,
that's when the ratings were at its peak, like he
was that was peak MTV because right, weren't. Weren't the

(06:39):
videos that's the four TRL No, That's what I was wondering.
Is it like he was just like I didn't not
want of Backstreet Boys and after that's gonna be in
sync keep it locked. And didn't he have a twin brother?
I don't know, Yeah he did. Hey, can we talk
about how how me and Durs look identical right now?

(07:00):
And you and Kyle also looked pretty identical. You guys
both have the Tide matching shirts. I gotta take my hairs.
Both have messed up hair. Looked like we just woke
up wearing like a white T shirt. That's a little
like it looks like we've both been sick. I haven't,
but yeah, very very healthy right now. But why do
you look like you're out patient? We look like ship? Dude?

(07:22):
What's up with that? Yeah? How come you guys are
so bland and me and Blake are so dang colorful?
What's going on? Why not my parents house? I'm in
Lake of the Ozarks right now? You can tell by
the fun My mom has so many signs talking about wine. Yeah,
no way is listening? Really? Yeah, every inch of her
home is mentioning wine or how there's love in this

(07:44):
house or something? So Snapchat memory. Are they like Bible
versus Undercover or is it just like no, Well, aunt
did go through like a real Bible verse phase that
lasted like three years when she she was like going
too like Bible like, like she'd go on and stays
and they talk about Bibles and chain. But really it
was like a way for her like mate, new friends,

(08:05):
just different versions of the Bible, just different well there
are there's lots of versions of it. There are different covers,
different holders, different online the Blue Jeans Bible. And it
was mostly like just a way for her to buy
new merch. So every week she'd come home with like
a little new like angel figurine or like a thing
that to hang on the wall. They merch. Godd the

(08:28):
God merch game is the Jesus merch game is out
of control? So good yeah, hell yeah, I'm sure you
you would know. Now she's staring at me like I care.
She's right there, Um, I don't care. There's no dirty laundry.
We're washing it all. Guys, this might be a dumb question.
Maybe you guys could help me out. Do you guys
remember chicken noodle soup for the Soul of the Book?

(08:49):
Oh yeah, was that Christian? Was that Christian? Yeah? Yes,
I just that's up in my cabin. Okay, that was
my Bible dog was it? Wait? Chicken chicken noodle soup?
Chicken soup for the soul? Was that chicken soup for
the chicken? Yeah? That was Christian, dude. That should just
hit the back of my mind. I feel like they
made one that was like chicken soup for the teenage

(09:11):
soul and like, oh yeah, I feel like my church
was like you gotta get this, brother. It was all
the souls. It was every type of soul that they could.
They spun. The Jesus merch game is unbeatable. I don't care.
All other merch game looks to the Jesus merch game
and like how do we get this? They say Jesus

(09:31):
Christ because Christians by merch. They had T shirts on
their walls that they have. My mom for a while
had a whole room dedicated the guest bedroom of our house.
It was like all over the house. And then she
got a little less Christian and she kind of fell
out with that group of friends and then that moved
consolidated all the Jesus stuff kind of into the spare bedroom.

(09:53):
So when I would come home and I'm in the
spare bedroom, uh, and there's just Jesus ship all. It's
a and it was my sister's like bedroom growing up.
It was the size of like a large closet. It
was like fucking small. It barely well documented. Your parents
hated her, go ahead and yeah, and it was just
the tiniest thing. So then you're there, and I'm there

(10:15):
for a week, and I'm like nineteen years old, twenty
years old, I'm visiting and you have to jerk off
that you have to within the lab secure teenager or
if you're a twenty year old boy, were an adult,
or at any age, and and then there's just Jesus
stuff staring at me from every angle. So I'm very
well versed in the Jesus merch game. That's why you

(10:36):
now like to sit in the middle of a circle
of guys and beat off while they stare at you.
You need uh yeah, that's the only way I could
do it. I could, I could do it now is
I have to have surrounded by those those Jesus paintings
that for sure of the eyes following you. And that's
well documented. Ye, well documented. Uh huh. Well, now that's

(10:56):
that's chicken soup for the sucking jerking off, So right there, brother,
Hell yeah, chicken soup for the horny man. You want
to say that one one more time for the people
at home. That's chicken soup noodle literally jerk for Literally
as soon as I say things, I don't remember what
I said. I hate my brain. Snapchat member Chicken soup

(11:18):
for the horny soul, baby for the jerk off. You
know who winning chicken soup for the jerk off soul.
Like when you're sold, needs to jerk off, and you
got to have the chicken soup jerk chicken noodles said,
jerk chicken noodle soup. There we go. Now we're work

(11:38):
shouting and we can leave that. It's funny you should
say that, though, because I was I was eating chicken
noodle soup and I was thinking of I was like,
what was the book Chicken Soup for the soul? What
was that? But it was Christians. The Lord works in
so many ways in your life. He gives you so
many signs, and you refused to walk the path. He's
still carrying you, He's still care You gotta stump up

(12:01):
my ass. Was it a collection of essays? What the
I cannot remember? I definitely had the book. I did
not open it. I remember it. It was like, I
don't know if they were all considered Christian because there
was a chicken soup for the Christian soul as well. Okay, okay,
so that was like the hardcore Christian, but it might
have been like a rebrand. They were just like her.

(12:21):
They're just up in their merch game. They're just like,
how do we spin this off as many times as possible?
Like the For Dummies book series? So it's basically like
where the Sidewalk Ends, but like with a Christian undertone
or something like was it poems? What all it was
was heartwarming story the Sidewalk Ends. Yeah, shel Silverstein, do

(12:42):
you know about it? I'm pretty sure I gave your
daughter that? Butfucker so back down, Hey, you need to
step back, all right? Didn't. That's the reason I have
that in the bookshelf is because of you. Yes, Yes,
taught us in that it consisted of inspirational, true stories

(13:03):
about ordinary people's lives. This is what I just said.
You just said that. So it's like, was it like
a a in a book or something. No, they're just
heartwarming stories about good Samaritans and things that happened that
can inspire goodness in people, which is why the Christian
uh merch game adopted it because it appealed to their No, no, no, no,

(13:24):
it wasn't even it was for sure. The guy who
started it was a mastermind, right, and he was like,
I'm going to take my Christianity and make that scratch. Okay,
I'm gonna Jesus God wants me. This is like the
cool thing that like, um, the like the for profit
sort of what the gem sums is all about and
how they think, which is awesome for sure. Okay, go

(13:47):
off where they're like, uh, they think like God wants
them to be super rich. So anyway that they can
spin off ways to make money off of Christianity, it's
good for God because God wants them to be rich.
And I'm like, fuck, yeah, if I was really religious,
that's how I would think. For sure, you would believe
you were a prophet made for making money. No, I

(14:08):
wouldn't say I was. Well, maybe maybe I was. He's
saying he's saying prophet, he's saying profit. Oh yeah, I'm
making a problem. Yeah you're a prophet who profit. Yeah
you're saying profit. But we're talking the prophet. Kyle's got
barn my guy that that'd be a cool There has
to be a Christian rapper named profit right. I would

(14:30):
hope so. And that's a missed opportunity. Yeah, he puts
it all in the tithing plate. Bro, He's like, I
throw it all in the tithing plate. What other Christian
bands were that there was like Jars of Clay had
like one Yeah, that had like one banger that go like,
climb a rocky wall at your friends, like a cool
church that had like a rock climbing up or whatever. Yeah,

(14:53):
there'd be like a rock wall in the parking lot
and all the kids were like yeah no and that
it would be called like the Zone and you go
there on Wednesdays and then at the end of the
day they'd keep you thirty minutes for the pizza. But
then they'd be like, all right, but we need to
talk to you about christ. Right. If you want to
slice of pepperoni, yeah, real quick, enjoy that pepperoni. Got
that grease off. You don't want to get them pimps.
Don't worry. Pizza is gonna be here. He's gonna be

(15:16):
the pizza. I'm gonna talk to you about a pretty
cool guy. That's exactly what it was. They would lure
you in with like skate ramps and stuff, and you'd
get all hungry and work out. It was at the
end of the day. It was The Foot Clan and
Jesus is Shredder. Okay, mentality bro, there's the name of

(15:39):
this podcast, Jesus Shredder Bro. Christianity is the Foot Clan
and Jesus is Shredder episode, whatever the funk it is.
I do remember another one because we had a guy,
do you remember the band Life House? And I'm following
even more in the where we had to do. We

(15:59):
had to dude at our school name Mitch, and he
swore up and down he knew the band Lifehouse and
that was his claim to fame. He's like, those are
my boys, dude. He's like, you know, they're like really
Christian too, So it's like, wait, so how were you
guys were in high school? So how were they his boy?
They also weren't in high school. Those were grown ass
men when we were in high school. They must have

(16:19):
come and played at his church. There's no way this
guy did not know Lifehouse or he knew the drummer.
Maybe he why would he say, yeah, yeah, yeah, he
had to have some acquaintance. Yeah, his uncle might have
like like might have played on their softball team or
some ship. Right. I feel like there's certain bands you
can kind of know, Like you can know somebody from

(16:40):
Life House. You might know a Cold War kid, like
you just run into him. I feel like you can
you can know you just run into him. You could
definitely know Lifehouse. They're saying Creed is a Christian band?
Is that for sure? Hey, guys, don't cry because I'm
six feet from and I'm thinking maybe the six ft

(17:00):
and so don't cry. Well, love Jesus Christ, you got me.
You go. How did these bands get on your guys radar?
Because they weren't on my radar? MTV man, Well, Adams
from the Midwest. I am from the Midwest. You could
tell by the signage. I'm from right there. Where he's from, Yeah,

(17:22):
is right there? Yeah, Chicago's different, but Chicago is obviously
Chicago's very lair. But it seems uh no, it's it's
it's a big city. It's a big so there's just
more ship. Yes, yeah, you're right. You guys have a
cool radio. Yeah, I know what you're saying, like, when
I leave Chicago and I'm listening to the radio, I

(17:43):
remember I would just be like just turning the dial
like forever to be like, where's the non country music?
This is crazy? Well, I'm in the Ozarks right now, dude,
and it is absolutely insane how much country is on
the radio the like to other channels that aren't country,
and then like twenty five channels that are just country music,

(18:05):
And I'm like, how are they not getting enough of it?
I'm in though, there's some bangers like and this is
how we ro what's that one? I don't know a
little bit more. I think it might be Georgia Florida Line.
I'm gonna pull some up. We can play fifteen seconds
of some of these. Yeah, let's play some country. Let's

(18:25):
analyze this. What's cool about country? I met the Florida
Georgia Line guys and they're definitely this guy. They're definitely
like fucking tight. What are you doing all the for
the people at home? Do you know what I mean?
Like I'm squinning my eyes, I'm licking my lips. They
wear like cool expensive hats. They look like we wouldn't
know them. They would go to like a cool nightclub

(18:47):
they go to like Delilah's and Hollywood, you know what
I mean. They're like hit you know what I mean.
They're cool bros from the South. They're cool bros from
the South. It's not like when we were kids and
you think of country music and you think of George
Great or Garth Brooks storage straight sure, yeah, thunder Roll,
Let's go come Home and like the big cowboy hat
and kind of doofy and have rhinestones, and they just

(19:09):
feel like your dad's doofy do like goofy dufus is
they're doofy Dude. No, man, these guys are like hip man.
They're like country is like cool now, Yeah, totally because
there's no more cowboys like there used to be. There
ain't no cowboy. Thank you. Put the put the oh

(19:32):
back in country? Have you ever heard that term? Okay,
put the o back in country? What is the because
they called it country like it got whoosy got whoos five? Yeah? Yeah,
actually I've never I've heard that thrown around in some place.
You're so country, blake. When did you get How did
you get so country? I don't know, it could be

(19:53):
maybe my Iowa roots I don't know. Well, my sister
and her husband are super down. I'm saying, Iowa roots.
You were not born there, you were not raised there.
I was born there and raised there. I am the
first Californian born. But everyone that roots back is from Iowa.
Shout out to I was lived there until I was ten.

(20:13):
I was lived there. I lived there. I want to
say proudly, I was lived there till I was t God. Hey,
well that's my Midwest education. Man. Well also sorry, my
sister and her husband are are super down for country,
and like one of my dreams was to pull up
to that stagecoach Festival. It's like Base is in the
exact same place as Coachella, but it's fully countried out.

(20:37):
It sounds like it could be hit or miss. Well,
it's fully countried out to to an extent, like they don't.
It's all crossed over now because I feel like Snoop
was playing that festival a couple of years. Do anything
that guy, that guy you invite him to a thing,
he is there, but he probably played with Willie Nelson though, right, yeah, yeah,
he probably actually fucking hits country. Hella hard and great.

(21:00):
Not to mention country is the one type of music
where you drop an album, you still cash the funk out.
They buy your ship big time. For one reason, Walmart period.
They released it in Walmart. People walk to Walmart. They
don't have Spotify, they don't have a good WiFi. Okay,
come on, it is uh, there's no rock music anymore.

(21:21):
There's not like a real MTV v J. Adam, let's
go go off, Adam. It's so now. Country is essentially
like there are some songs that I'm like, that doesn't
sound that country. I mean, that sounds like a rock song.
You know what I mean. Well, let's be honest, guys,
it all kind of changed when Nelly did the Tim
McGraw song I Can't Stop. That was a game. I

(21:50):
also feel like, guys, we're avoiding one of the largest
songs of the last fucking decade. What little nas X. Yeah, yeah, dunt,
dunt toront hold on? I got this Florida. Yeah, that
was a big one. Let's see if this if this
ship turns up. Wait, can you guys hear that the

(22:14):
Almond brother guitar as I liked it? Yeah, I'm gonna
skip hopefully three more seconds. Let's see if I hit
the chorus hit it. Dude, that's my fucking jam right there, Florida, Georgia,

(22:35):
Let's go, Let's go. I will say that type of
music hits a note where you're like, dude, I'm fucking
chilling and I'm lazing around, you know if and I
feel good on a Sunday that hits that note. It
makes white people feel good. It really really does white people.
Who really does something. Yeah, it's specifically like white folks,

(22:56):
like they just love it makes white folks. It makes
my skin crawl. It makes your skin crawl. Why does
it make your skin crawl? I don't know. I just
don't the vibe. I don't like the vibe it feels.
It feels to me just like it feels like chicken
noodle soup washing over me. It's feel good music. We're
just like you just kind of feel good about ship

(23:17):
and it's you're not thinking about anything and you're just like, yeah,
I'm just gonna drink a beer and sit on the dock. Yeah,
it feels like floating. These guys. I don't know about
all this guy. You guys are like, it feels like
I'm being baptized again. Uh, it feels it feels like
I'm floating in the law. What else? What else? What else?
It just it makes you feel good. I think that's right.

(23:38):
That's that is why this type of music is doing
so well right now. I think it's because it's all
in like a fucking C major chord. It always like
break it down kind of sounds the same. It all
is made for our ear. It's like easy progressions, simple
lyrics that are talking about like you know, just here, yeah,
drinking beer and floating right and rolling about this one?

(24:00):
What about this one? Hold on, let's see now we're
talking on this. This is great. But by the way,
the best it's just fine. I don't know. That is

(24:20):
a fucking timeless banger. Well that's when I thought music
was gonna turn. I was like, after that happened, kind
of like, oh, ship, guess what. Every rapper from the
South is going to pair up with a country star
and that's going to be music for the next ten years.
That's gonna be it. Like every rapper is just gonna
pair up with a doofy white guy in a big

(24:46):
copy cat and that can sing great yeah, and just
and just sing their fucking hearts out. Brad Paisley and
Space goes perp pet Pablo and Brad Paisley, I love.
I think there was definitely a little bit of a
run with that. I'm sure David Banners on a track
with somebody Alan Jackson. Yeah, I funk with like Casey

(25:10):
musk Raves. Okay, Yeah, she's tight, she's she does some
ship that. I'm like, well, wowser's what's what's that? I
don't know that we are you? Also, just because she's
like super hot, is that also it's kind of a babe. Yeah,
I don't know what she looks like. Oh, look at you.
She looks like something that every male would like. She's cool.

(25:32):
It's cool to look at dude. Yeah, and most women.
I think she's just a very beautiful girl. Yeah, women
are beautiful, that dude. That Tim McGraw Nelly track, Like,
I genuinely loved that when it came out, and still do.
I thought about it the other day. That's a great track.
Would you ever turn it on? Yeah? Have you ever

(25:53):
turned I've turned it on when it first came out.
I can remember that. I remember driving around Adam and
turning that on multiple times too many times. That one
tickled me and then I'd roll it right into Creed
and we'd have just an afternoon in our fields, you
know we would. Yeah, those good times, man, roll all

(26:14):
the windows down for you guys, crack a cold one,
sharing brotherhood and Christ. Good for you guys. Man. Probably
we did talk about We talked about God. Hey, I'd
get I'd get baptized in Christ on the podcast that
you guys while on acid acid baptism. I'm just trying
to think of fun things to do on the podcast.
Is that blasphemy because I'm kind of down. No, No,

(26:36):
I don't think so. God created usid God created a
man who then created acid. So that's all good baptism, bro,
It's science. Hey, And that's one of the things I'm
talking about doing while down here at the Lake of
the Ozarks. There it is right there that Wow, your
bachelor party just got so weird where it's going to
be a mass baptism. Can Can I play Jesus? Absolutely?

(27:03):
I don't know. You can't play him, but you can
accept him in your heart. That's that's what I mean.
You know what I mean? Oh, guys, mass shooting, mass
shooting here at the lake right now. Shooter last night
last night we went out to dinner. We went to

(27:25):
a very nice dinner and uh, I get there was
like a biker rally or some chip, Like, there's a
strip here that has all the bars. It's called the
Bagnel Damn Strip and then has all the bars and
restaurants in Lake of the Ozarks. Sorry one more time,
Bagnel Damn Strip. So it's like, yeah, and it's a
strip and Bagnal's name check, and uh, it has all

(27:48):
the bars and restaurants and ship And I guess there
was like a bike rally and a bunch of bikers
got in a fight and there was just a fucking
shootout and a bunch of people got shot. I think
at least one person died. It was like pretty gnarly.
For a second, they thought it was it was like
an active shooter, like someone just came to shoot it up.

(28:09):
But I think I think it ended up being like
a biker fight. Yeah, okay, so hey, can't we wait
to get to the bros. That's what we get to
look forward to. Dude. It's gonna be so fun. Um,
we're already planning some stuff out. It's gonna be a
true throwdown, very excited. Should we dress like bikers just
to fit in? You know, like sometimes Yeah, do you

(28:30):
know how they do like themes for like batch of parties? Yeah,
what's our gang name? The Divine? How many people like
the divine? Divine Angels? Or we just dressed like assholes
and see how quickly someone tries to start a fight
with us, like we all wear daisy dukes and like,
well that's how bikers dress, wear shirts with like our

(28:50):
nipples cut out or song, Well, that happened in my
bache party, mare treading. Okay, that's that's mine. I'm trying
to have your level of bachelor party. I want I'm
going to get arrested. I want uh. I want there
to be like almost fight situation, missing people going missing.
I want to I want to pick someone up from

(29:11):
the uh, from the drunk tank, the drunk tank exactly,
the drunk tank, the county jail. There, you can do that.
I think that can happen. Although I feel like we
kind of we we kind of like graized over the
let's make vest things like divine Divine Angels with a
skull in the middle. That's kind of diet. Yeah, like
Adam's face, but it's a skull likening winning u um. Also,

(29:37):
I'm sitting at my parents kitchen table right now. We
this is a great place. We can set up all
of our microphones. We can do a communal podcast. I
think it'd be fun. I think it'd be fun to have,
like whoever wants to tell a dumb story about me
from back in the day can come and get on
the mic and tell a tell a quick dumb story.
It might it might get real out of hand and

(29:58):
I might have to like sensor some some of these stuff.
Three hour podcast We can regulate it, you know. I say, okay,
that which by the way, you say three hour podcasts.
But some of these podcasts I'd be listened to are
like four hours long. Motherfucker's is go, go go. Some
people won't shut the funk up. Yeah. I did Whitney

(30:19):
Cummings podcast. I was there for like three hours. I
was like, wrap it up, lady. Do they give you
bathroom breaks? Did she give you a bathroom break? No?
But that piss came out thick. It was like my
Romeo bathroom breaks. Really, Whitney, honestly, Whitney give him bathroom breaks?

(30:39):
Come alright? Yeah, it came out hot and heavy. That
that stream was like the size of a quarter for
you guys, did home. He just held up the diameter
of a silver dollar, a huge circle. The d hole
just opened right up and just it was a little
fire hose, a little fire right when you pull it
and to bust it open. Just the bar names here

(31:01):
are hilarious. There's big dicks halfway in, there's the Glory Hole,
there's all kinds of fun. Are just gay bars, yeah, dude,
yeah they're not. They're just the regular bars. And sure,
I'm like the more insane the name is, I think
the more successful idiots here. So I want to I
want to start like a restaurant just called like come bucket.
Yeah yeah, full of penetration, big cocks, butt fuckers, come

(31:26):
on down to Terry's and get a titty twister. Know
the butts were girls butts that you're fucking because it
sounds gay. They all ain't out a gay No, they're
definitely they're not among me. When I'm dead, Flick is
hitting it. Bro Adam's like titty twister. It's like, what

(31:48):
does I don't know? What among me? What does mom mean? Okay, okay, hey,
let me up here we go look it up Chad's
chorg factory. Google it. And this is kind of fun
because when did we all hear about mong The first
time was high school. I don't know money, I don't
know Okay, monging, guys, buckle up, but this is what
and it is disturbing. It is disturbing. I don't know

(32:10):
how I heard about this and what locker rooms? Hid
your hide your children, children, hi'd your wives. Yeah, if
you're driving your kids to work right now, you might
want to turn it down. This is important. Please put
headphones on your children, Hid your children, because we're about

(32:31):
to go into what I think monging might be. And
you guys can tell me something else. It was you
find a cadaver or a corpse freshly. I think it's
must be female or it could be male. But somebody, God,
this is just disturbing the recount. Yeah, I can't believe you.

(32:51):
And this is your favorite thing to do? Is that
what you're saying. That's the name of the bar. But
it was right at the tip of the tongue. So
this is a thing that you'd like to do. Okay,
this is always in the back of my mind running around.
I said twister, because I like to twist titties. That
was kind of the first thing on my mind, but
yours was a fun Saturday night. Blake's is it's like

(33:12):
a cry for help. So it's got to be two
people and one person an arrestable offense, for sure. Okay,
go ahead, it is for sure. It's gotta be two
people and one person puts their mouth on the genitalia
of the corpse, and the other person jumps of woman
female corpse. Yes, jumps on the stomach of the corpse,

(33:33):
and all the guts are supposed to shoot out of
the orphans into the person's mouth. That is monging and
or bad. I do want to say, it's super gross.
You you left out the detail that you have to
leave the corpse out in the sum like a few
days or something. Yes, the detail I love is always

(33:55):
in the weeds with this kind of thing. Yes, Yes,
the devil's details. The devil is in the details. There's
the non Christian and me the encyclopedia of serial killers.
We are all the details, we know all the detail.
Here's my question, who is the kid? What is the
personality type? Because you might think would be me, or

(34:15):
you might think it be Blake, but like the people
who come up with this stuff like we know it,
which is already like you're perpetrating, but like to be
the guy who's like, actually there's a thing called munging
and everyone goes, well, what is that because obviously it's
not sucking real? I mean, is it not? I don't know, Hey, Blake,

(34:37):
you're not gonna you're knocking on forty. No one's ever
done that, just those I bet someone, I bet someone
somewhere has done that throughout all of time because people
are so fucking gross and so weird when it comes
to say they didn't name it munging at that time.
It might have happened in like, man, maybe it happened.
Yeah it was. It was like during Lance a lot

(34:58):
time and they're like, a lot time, this is a
key story. We're talking about Excalibur and he just pulled
the sword out of the stone. He's like, I know.
The first thing I'm gonna do after I'm knighted, Perceval
grabbed that corpse as Lancelot cannonballs onto its stomach. Well,
actually they say that on the on the Urban Dictionary

(35:19):
dot com they say that you have to climb the
nearest tombstone and elbow dropped the corpse in stomach. See
this is what I'm talking about. Somebody's like this could
be funnier, Like who are these people who are like
doing it? Also says I got to give the Urban
Dictionary credit. They also say the way they lead it
off is the one thing worse than genocide. That's that's

(35:39):
what the definition of I disagree. That's politically charged. Um, sorry,
don't get charged right now. This is a charge free
zone on this podcast. Okay, at least there was a
caveat here. At least there was some kind of a
precursor like Cleveland Steamer and like, I'm stay, I'm positive
someone shout across someone's chest who was like, Bro, that's

(36:01):
a that's a thing, that's a yes, that's a positive.
But I mean, that's that's happening right now. That's happening
in several hotel rooms across America and the world. Two
specific room in several hotel rooms in Atlanta downtown anyway room.

(36:22):
But to do it is one thing. To name it
the Cleveland Steamer? Who does that? Who names it? The
dirty San Angel? Comedian? Comedian comedian I don't think it's
a comedian. No, it's the guy. There's always that one friend.
It's conduced. No, Caduce has grace and style than you.
That one friend in the group that like his ship

(36:43):
is just the grossest ship. It's not necessarily they're not
the funniest guy. They're the grossest guy. And that's what
they find the funniest. That's just their sense sensibility. They
think the grocer it is the funny. It's a shock.
It's a shock comic. It's comic. It's the man cow
in the morning of And that's not what we are.
We're not, we are not, We're in the subtlety comedy

(37:07):
is so subtle. You're not that guy. Trust me. Look, dude,
by the way that video that you're playing, the not
that guy. That's like one of my favorite, that's one
of my favorite. This guy thinks he's so have you
guys seen that one? I don't know, I have not,
I don't know. Yeah, it's just like you guys, just
like this kid. It's fairly new and this kid is
filming this dude and he's like, you're not that guy, Kid,

(37:28):
you're not that guy. And and he goes so wait,
you're that guy, and he goes, you bet your ass?
I am. Yeah, He's like, yeah, I am. What's the contest.
I think he's a trumper getting hassled for like like
not wearing a mask. And then like he starts snapping
back like fucking like make me or whatever. He's like,
you're not that guy, because on his way out, he's like,

(37:48):
go go vote for Biden. Yeah, and he like kicks
the door and ship. It's it's pretty great, pretty politically charged.
So it's pretty charged. Sounds charged, so charged, Blake is charged.
Dude winning, So we sweat shirts or something or what
well we have to have You can't have two blands together.

(38:09):
You gotta have a color and bland to color and bland.
You know, look how Iowa Midwest. I'm being right now.
This is a corn company. This is a where you
plant corn into the ground. And this is okay, Hollywood,
we got Okay. I'm still down to earth. I'm basically
Ashton Kutcher, Okay, wearing my trucker hacks on punked. You're

(38:31):
finally mesmerized by the cornfields, the most beautiful thing your
home state has to offer. Yeah, I drove through it
on the way here and which is like, welcome to
my hat. It's gorgeous. I had the hardest time getting here.
So I don't know if you saw my tweets, I
like snapped on Earth. Oh yeah, tell us about the

(38:52):
saga you cry baby, what happened? Fuck? I saw that.
I'm like, damn, I never use Twitter unless it's just
to shift on companies that have wronged me. Um and
I love it. Yeah, A burn Twitter to the ground.
I fucking hate the thing, but so I only use
it to shoot on companies, and for that it's pretty great. Uh, dude,

(39:14):
I've been traveling all day. I had to get up
at like five o'clock in the morning East Coast time
to go to work. Worked all day, caught an afternoon flight,
flew to Chicago, was delayed, but that car ride home
through the night. Been there, done that. Finally got in,

(39:37):
got in around eleven o'clock and then got get into
Kansas City. So you got to the airport at eleven pm. Yeah,
it gets to Kansas City at eleven pm. We've called
asked if the rental car. I was like, I'm afraid
it's gonna get closed down Kansas City. It's not like
that huge of an airport. I'm like, I got to
make sure that the rental cars there, and they were like, yes,

(39:58):
we make sure that we check the flights are being delayed.
Someone will always be there. That's company policy. Great, Okay,
get there. No one's there. No one's there, and I
can't get the rental car. I'll piss now. And so
I'm just like, well, I guess I'm gonna rent another car.
And I go to every other rental car place. I
go to Budget, I go to Avis, I go to National,

(40:19):
I go to Enterprise and and there's lines and I
stand in every line and I get to the front,
I'm like, I need to rent a car, and they're like,
we're all sold out. So sorry, Oh my god, so
I'm stuck. Yeah there's been a shortage recently. I guess. Yeah.
So but they're like, you should have made a reservation.
I'm like I did with Hurts. They should have been there,
and so then you can have a gold membership for Hurts, right,

(40:40):
And with that you could just get in a car
and drive away and they just charge you. And so
I go, well, okay, maybe that's what I have. And
because I just have the confirmation number. I have no
real information, so I'm like, Okay, what are the keys?
I go on the wheel or something? Did you steal
a car? So, dude, I tried. I got in a
in Cherokee and just took off and shaking the wheel

(41:00):
and get to the gate and this guy's like, can
I see your information? And I gave it to him.
He's like, you can't take this, and I'm like, but
I'm going to because I paid for a rental car
and they're they're just not here, So charge me whatever
you have to charge me for. But I'm gonna take
this car. And he's like, winning, it's the whole car.
Charge you a whole car. He's like, you're not You're
not gonna take it, and that gemstone is not that righteous.

(41:21):
You're not that guy. Pal, Yeah, it's like, you're not
that guy. And so anyways, you're not that guy. So
I ended up getting I'm walking out and there's like
one rent car place that he didn't go to that
doesn't even look like it's open, and it's called Alamo.
Oh my god, it's called pay Less Rental. And I

(41:44):
go to this woman. She I'm like, do you have
any cars? She's like, only Chevy Equinox is and I'm like, sure, whatever,
you have not a Chevy Equinox. What does that look like? What?
What's wrong with an equinox? Yeah? What is it? It's
a mid sized suv. Right, It's fine, It's absolutely fine.
It's so the name of a gym, which is weird,
but I'm like, oh my god. So anyways, I drove
through the night. By the time I got home, it

(42:06):
was almost like it was like three thirty almost four
o'clock in the morning by the time I got back,
and it was like a full four am here is
five am East Coast time, So it was like a
full twenty four hour day that I was up, and
I was just fucking exhausted. So the whole time, I'm
just snapping at Chloe Hurts. You know, I'm just snapping
that hurts. I'm just saying I'm just like saying, like,

(42:28):
crazy shit, I'm basically putting all my dad's cancer on
Hurts and saying that they're murdering my father. I know, yeah,
I know. Those tweets were really brutal. Dude, you you
put that what about it that you put them together? Well,
I was saying I'm going to visit my father and
the fact that I can't go see him is on you.
You lied to me and saying that you were going

(42:50):
to be there, right and that I'm saying his cancer
is on your hands. His his cancer blood is on
your hands. Um, oh my god. Yeah, man, And it worked.
They paid for my car, so it worked. Did they
make you delete the tweets? Did they hit did they
hit you up and say delete the tweet? No? No No, no, no.
Tweets live forever. Tweets live, Adam. Can I ask you

(43:10):
a question. Let's say like you called and they go, yeah,
for sure. Let's say Mike is going to be working late,
he'll be here. What is what and Mike clearly took
off for some reason? Right, what's the one scenario where
you go, all right, Mike, I'll let you go for
that reason, Like if Mike was like Mike's dad has cancer. Yeah,

(43:35):
what if Mike's dad? I can I'm thinking of a
little thing more funny, but like girl of his dreams,
like oh sorry, uh my boyfriend was a dick. I
need you to pick me up. I'm by myself. Make
this right, Like, what is the scenario where you're like
all right, Mike, I'll let it slide. None, none, uh no, No.
Somebody would have to like be in true trouble, like
if like his girlfriend calls him up and she's like,

(43:57):
I'm currently getting roofied and you have to save my life.
Uh then yeah, okay, then go save her life, just
like to go it detailed currently getting roofied. I don't
know so like he would have to be something that
that is, like how does that work? She's like, I
don't know that that to me, I would be like,
oh yeah, I'll get your girls. How about like just
rabbit dogs. Okay, rabbit dogs. I'm currently being roofied. Is

(44:20):
like I'm gonna fall under the roofy spell in like
twenty minutes. You need to be here. Yes, Oh are
we back to this? That's the movie. I'm like, I'm
falling asleep, Please come get me. And and then and
then I'm like, oh sht, go get your girl, dude,
don't let that happen. Is this the movie? Then it's
about a guy who works at Hurts Right, and hurt

(44:43):
His boss is like, here's the deal, Adam Divine is
coming into town. You have to stay here tonight until
his car gets here, and then he gets a call.
He's known for sending out nasty tweets and we can't
have that as a company. We we can't be uh
under his blade, right, And then he gets a call

(45:03):
from the girl of his dreams who's like influence. I
was just rufied. I have forty minutes before I fall
on his spell. And then like he's got to wait
for you or not or I feel like you as
the character in the movie playing yourself, you know, a
heightened fun version. Yeah, you go on the journey with him,

(45:24):
total maniac and then they circle back to your dad
who has cancer. Wow, the drama. Probably, I don't know
if he makes it in the movie. For the first steakes,
well in the movie, yes, first Stakes were talking about
traumatic purpose. He's talking for the movie. Yes, I get it.
I do understand that, you know or something. There's gotta

(45:47):
be some kind of turn um, But I don't know
if that's at the very end or if it's at
the midpoint. Yeah, I don't know if that's Uh, I
don't know if that's what was it like a a
time to come. But it's close, it's close, it's kissing it,
it's kissing. I feel like a time to come is
is better. I'm just gonna say it. Not everything is

(46:08):
a winner. See, you gotta walk down these paths, but
you gotta pitch. You gotta pitch. You gotta walk down
these paths to see when if it works, hit me
with my dad's that it's important. Oh oh you want
the dynasty that it's important. What a great drop? So
gravel it? What was that turtle? So? And I went

(46:30):
over to the guys at Budget and they like they
knew me, and they were like, ship, dude, so sorry,
we can't all they're all reserved. We can't give you.
And I totally understand that. I'm like, yeah, don't give
me someone else's car, but if there is a car
there that you're just that you keep a certain amount
of cars, they're just in case, give me one of them.
But they were like, no, we can't. Did somebody offer
their own car? Adam, take mine? Bro? Those guys that

(46:52):
Budget were like, dude, here take my car. I'll come
get it tomorrow. And I'm like, if I was in
Kansas City, I would have taken him up on that.
I would have been like, yeah, I'm only going to
be twenty minutes away, but I'm driving for three hours. No,
if you were in Kansas City, would have taken a cab. Yeah,
for sure, I would have just gotten a cab. But
I'm with you. I knew what you're saying. Interesting. Did
you check what it would be like if you could
get an uber all the way there? Yeah? I did,

(47:13):
but I was like, I don't want to. It's like
a windy road. I'm like, I don't want to be
in the back. You have to wear uber is still
like you have to wear masks in the car, Like,
I don't have to wear a mask in the fucking
car this whole time. L A is going back into it, right,
Like we got to wear masks inside. Yeah that's what
that's what they say. I'm in the l A in
six months, but yeah, I think it's back. Yeah, mask

(47:35):
inside or masks always or something. I don't know they
should have. I don't know why they Like I thought
they could get away from it, Like, yeah, there's a
thing called delta, but let's let's try this. No masks
inside things for a little bit. Yah. Something that it's
one percent of hospitalizations are people that didn't get the
vaccine in a Hospitaliza. But yeah, that's OK. We can

(47:59):
all we all round up. Sure we can. Yeah. So
I'm like, if you choose not to get the vaccine,
that's on you. Dog. You deserve to die. Yeah, No,
you don't deserve to die. But like, like, for sure
get the best care that you can. But if you
choose not to get the vaccine, it's very possible that
you could get sick and you would have to go
to the hospital. Have fun on that ride. Do you

(48:27):
guys know anybody that has gotten the vaccine and is
still contracted COVID? Because I found my first acquaintance that
that happened to. I thought I had it this week
and then I was like, no, I've been hearing about it. No,
I I don't know anybody. No. But that's the thing.
When you got the vaccine, they said, you can still
get sick. It's just that it's not as severe of

(48:47):
an illness, right, you won't go to the hospital. You're
knocking it back. Yeah, but it's still it's still like
nineties six percent or something that you can't get sick, right,
isn't that right? Well, it's you you can carry it
and pass it and then you yeah, you're if you
have the vaccine, you're knocking it back. If you get
it like you're it's not going to be full force
fully fledged unless you got the Johnson and Johnson. Which

(49:07):
one did you get? Kyle? Oh my god? Wait? Where
did you wait? What are we both J and J boys?
And you've got no clots, no clocks, no clocks, Roger
Roger clots. You guys gotta be all plotted up. I
got that good ship. Yeah, but y'all had to go
back two times. I don't have to go one time.

(49:30):
That was so hard going to drive to a place twice.
That's that was honestly the choice for me. It was
like how many times one I'll do the one you're like,
one is like sixty percent at works, sixty percent at
the time, another one's nineties sif and percent at the time.
But I have to drive twice. I didn't hear anything
like that. I didn't hear anything like that for the
J and J. Yeah, Jane j It's said, yeah, it's

(49:53):
Jane Jays, Like it's just garbage. Dude, you're gonna get COVID.
Fuck bro out of here. You're gonna getke off. I
think the first shot of findser is equal to the
one shot of Johnson and Johnson and then the second
shot like ups it more kind of like the seals

(50:14):
the deal. For sure, the CDC is gonna have to
It's gonna make us put like a disclaimer on this podcast,
like we're just spreading fucking garbage room misinformation. I'm still
gonna send it. They should know that we're essentially like
you gave a bunch of microphones two kids in a
nursery and that they think their parents said, you know,

(50:35):
that's it, that's our podcast. Hey, that headline that I
saw that was that was just a somebody's story. That
was someone's story that they posted some article that I
didn't do any cross reference, none of my own research.
I saw someone's story and was like, and that's a fact,
and I'm talking about it on the pod. I checked you.

(50:57):
I checked you and said, hey, it's ninety nine. But
guess what who as the Hunters? Yeah, yeah, it might
as well be a million. And I feel like we've
given the disclaimer. But this is a politically charged podcast,
so get ready for some opinion. Dude. That's the thing.
Me and you guys were all hot button issue guys.
We box it out politically. Baby, This is basically some

(51:18):
crossfire ship and welcome to our situation room. Move over,
Wolf and Tucker caws in, Yeah, you are, you are?
You are moving on, you are. It's crazy. We do
record for four hours and then we have to cut
out all that super PolyChar stuff out, um because it's
just too much. What is PolyChar? PolyChar? Dude char, he's joking,

(51:43):
That's what we say. We say that all the time
on the stuff we cut out. For sure. Yeah, it's
gonna be our merch. Sorry, so poly char. But you
know what we do. We're obviously very PolyChar. But you
know we should also do throw in some Jesus stuff
so this merch can really sell. Yeah, Jesus and poly char.
I'm poly charged for Jesus. Is PolyChar or should just

(52:03):
be Paul Charred? I like PolyChar. I think it's great. Yeah,
it's kind of like poly sure, but you're saying PolyChar,
stay polycharred with one set of footprints in the sand.
Thank you, Adam merch mind. I got the merch mind
of the group, which merge. I like it. Did you

(52:26):
get your bike yet? The from I'm just thinking when
I got my vaccine was the day we went for
a huge mountain bike to have. You got a bike?
It for Specialized Specialized where you at dog I need
that bike. I think about it at least once a
week where I'm like, man, I'd love to take my
children for bike rides, but I guess not. I think
Specialized kind of took you guys on on a walk

(52:48):
on a ride. It took us on a ride, for sure.
You gotta get on Twitter, bro. Yeah, they took us
on a ride where they were like, hey, we're gonna
give you a free bike. Come on this and we're jeans.
Come on this long bike ride, and hey, get the
second vaccine shot. Make sure to wear jeans. Come on
the second bike ry and just going to give you
a bike. And then they don't give you a bike.

(53:09):
They fucking punch your ass. I don't like, there's get
to Twitter. Start fucking just sloughtering Specializes on a public
for him. I got a helmet and some gear. They
didn't wrong you in the way. You guys weren't well,
you were a little in commedience. You know what funk them?
Let's take them to task hurts donut. Yeah, there we go. Um,

(53:31):
nobody hurts Yes, points, you can. I guess you can
have that. I didn't love it. I feel like that
would be a time when you first would say no points. Yeah,
that's a brutal last thing that The Hurts donut thing
is like, basically, you go up to someone You're like,
hey man, you want to Hurts donut and they're like no,
and then you punch them, and that was already fucked

(53:52):
up the joke. Bro, You say you want a doughnut
and then you punch them and you say, what Hurts donut?
You said you wanta Hurts donut and then you punch
Then you say no, Kyle, you got it right. No,
you want to hurt stnut? Yeah, you want to hurt stut?
Do you want to hurt stone? You want to? You
want a doughnut? And they say sure, and then you
punch me. Say Hurts donut, actually, proper donut. I think

(54:15):
that's what you want. What is that on your face?
Is that egg on your face? Is that some yolk
on your face? Looks like yolk? Hey, I went out
on a limb on that one. And you know what,
I'm all right, I'm alright take the hell. I'll take that.
That branch, bro, dude, and you fall You fell the
earth on that one. So what you hope somebody as
is you say you want to Hurts donut and then
they say, what's a Hurts donut? And then you say, boom,

(54:38):
hurts donut? Yeah, egg on your face? Fuck you? What
she said that? Wait? Is that what you did to
your mom? Oh boy? What when I punched her when
she was combing mice? Oh boy? Oh bro, we're so charmed.
My mom did let me know that I felt horrible
when that happened, Like it was a react shin and

(55:00):
she was like, you know you you like cried because
you punched me. Okay, that's really beautiful. And I was like, okay, cool, good.
So you were saying that you not only are you
an abuser, but you're also a bit Is that what
you're trying to know? What? No, dude, What No, I
don't is that what's emotional? I'm saying, I have feelings.

(55:20):
It sounds like you're out of control physically. An emotional
sounds like you're out of control. You're you're one of
those guys that like its beats women. And then comes
I was like, I'm so sorry. You love me still
and they're like, and they have to take you back.
I'm gonna go ahead and send this part of the
podcast to my therapist before before Monday, Todd. If I

(55:42):
can get this clip just before Monday morning, they'll be great. Yeah, Hey,
you're you're like, I think I just had a breakthrough. Adam,
the one that prides himself on never going to therapy.
I'm fixed, pinpointed some chip for me. Just really dug deep. Hey, Doc,
I'm fixed fig it out. I'm an asshole. It turns

(56:04):
out I can talk to my friends. And that's what
this is about, isn't it. Guy? Yeah, we look inward
to each other. Well, really do this our brotherhood? This
is our youth group. Kyle just had an emotional monging.
Yes I did. We just jumped on your belly. But
I learned a lot this podcast. I did not know monging.

(56:26):
And I feel like the Monk Club that we start
here at, like the Ozarks. Maybe that's of the month. Yeah,
mong of the month divides mong angels, angels. God, they've
got guts we all wear no. See. I don't want
to do that because then I don't want to explain that.
Like we go out to the bars. We're all wearing.

(56:48):
These people know it. Adam, you're the only person who
doesn't know it. Everybody knows it. No, people don't know what.
You could also say that it's a it's among bean.
You can say it's just we love mong beans. But
also like that's like a Vietnamese, right, Like we don't
want to confuse that either, right and if we if
that gets confused, guess what that is pretty poorly charged.

(57:10):
So gonna we're off that it stays left. We're off that,
I think. And also I would like just start off
takebacks and apologies. Hurts would like to say, honestly, they
paid for the rental car that it did end up getting, which,

(57:31):
by the way, this rental car from they didn't check,
you know, normally they walk around and look at it
to see if there's any dings and dance. She didn't
do that. There's so many dings and dance on this
fucking Chevy. I would get it out there on this
public for I didn't do it. I haven't even driven it.
I only drove it here and then two hours, three
hours that's pretty good. And then but then for a

(57:54):
week I'm not driving is what we're dealing with guys,
so there's all kinds of dings and dance. I hope
I don't get you for that regardless, that's why thank you.
I would like to apologize for hurts for going that
hard at him, but if I didn't, they wouldn't have
paid for my rental car. So of course, not it hurts,
don't hurt, which leads to my apology. Kyle. I'm so

(58:15):
sorry that I tried to step in and say you
were wrong. I was right, But most of the times
Kyle is right. When he says something he doesn't, you know, speak, well,
that's not I will take that as a thank you.
I guess that's a thank you. I'm gonna say thank
you to you. Yeah, you will take that. You'd like

(58:36):
to take that as a thank you. I'd like to
take that as a thank you, and we have added
thank you. Hey, guys, by the way, I wasn't done yet.
You just took I was still. I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna sit back and listen to you trash hurts anymore.
I'm trying to apologize to you, guys. I'm trying to
apologize to you guys. Will you shut the funk up

(58:58):
and let me apologize to you guys. Please be required.
Go ahead, bro. A few episodes ago, I said, the
Internet told me that it was a pug color on
Men in Black and it wasn't. Everyone was like, I
got a few things, being like it was a pug color,
not a cat color. The guys were wrong, and I
was like, oh ship. And then I came at you

(59:19):
and you guys, I didn't understand it. You were like, Okay,
I thought I remembered the cat. It was a cat.
I now. The Internet came back at me and like,
the guys were right. It was a cat an alien right.
The pug was something else? Yea, so it was a
cat color. Men in Black were like, he's wearing like
a little amulet or something around his neck and the

(59:40):
whole universe is in his Adam, thank you so much.
Here's the thing, Adam, watch the movie. Just go watch
Men in Black. Goddamn man, take an hour and forty
minutes out of your watch. The best movie ever made,
possibly just the two of us watch so sick. I
saw it with my dad and loved it, and he

(01:00:00):
loved it too. It was awesome, guys. I think I'm
gonna be too busy jet skiing and going fishing with
my father. And we're not going to sit in a
basement watching Men in Black. You're not gonna be tired.
You're not gonna be tired for an hour and after
doing that, ship, come on, player, I'm gonna propose an
event for your bachelor party. Is we do take a

(01:00:20):
one hour forty minute break to like shotgun beers and
watch men in black together as a friendship family. Well,
here's what we could do and black. I will press play.
I will be the one pressing play and hooking up
the tech. Thank you. That's what we can do. Men
in black, Men and Black can be on the entire
bachelor party. We can. I will be the one that loop,
so if you come in the house, you can always

(01:00:41):
sit down and catch twenty minutes of it and then
and then go about the rest of it. Hey, here's
the thing. The whole bachelor party is men in black theme.
We wear suits, we go everywhere dresses men and black.
You just take the first letter of your name and
that is your name for the weekend. I am agent B,
I'm agent K. Should we say that for the entire wedding. No,

(01:01:03):
let's do the bachelor party in black. I haven't. I've
been quiet on the thread. I feel like this is
how I'm gonna wake it up. I'm gonna be like god,
quiet on the thread. I have noticed that you have
not responded to anything. My dad asked me if you're
coming the other day because he's really excited to smoke
weed with you, and I didn't know that. So are
you coming to the bach Floort party? Fuck? Yeah, I'm
coming to the bachelor party. I'm gonna be there. Peckler

(01:01:26):
coming out like I feel like some people are like,
I'm gonna be an early bird on Thursday. I'm going Tuesday. Motherfucker. Hey,
I would love that. I'll be there. I think I'm
gonna cruise out early just to have some chill like
hang out time, and then you know, stay late to
have some chill hang out time. You were you invited? Yeah,

(01:01:47):
I'm on the thread. I'm on the thread. Do you
know that they don't have plans? More than welcome to come,
You guys are more than welcome to come as early
as you would like. Let's make it a bachelor party
week for all I care. Well, No, I know it doesn't.
I can be I can go to Harry's Hardcocks or
whatever and just be like, oh my god, what's up.
I was just doing some writing down the street. How's
it going? Oh my god? You know, God, yeah, I'm

(01:02:10):
just gonna I do. I want you to go a
week early and just kind of be around town them
and then being like, do you want to combine? You're like,
I'm kind of doing my own thing. I'll be there.
I'll be there Thursday, right up the street. Y'all could
come over my house if you want settling in. There's
a really good pizza place down the street. You're like, Ernest. Anyway,
you're gonna start writing your novel at Marty Munk's Dog.

(01:02:34):
There is a like Marty's Place or something. There's some
bar that is like Ozark's related here. I can't wait.
Of course, how they get the rights to that or
is it like you know, it's just it's just off
enough that they were able to do it right, Like
all the waitresses were like curly blonde wigs. You're definitely
going to it. That's right on the trip that there

(01:02:56):
was an active shooter last night, so awesome got there. Yeah,
we got have to check that out, hopefully, there's not
a biker gang that night. They're not gonna mess with
the men in black trust me. No, no, no, they're
not messing with the Agent K and Agent A and
Agent B and you to somehow fabricate the prop of
the flashy thingypen. It could just be a silver deal

(01:03:20):
so we can keep flashy each other. Yeah, Blake, it
could be any take that. You won't remember this any
any other TakeBack, apologies or whatever. My god, Yeah, let
me apologize for pushing the podcast all the way to
Friday morning and I'm still dragging ask But thank you
guys for being so flexible. Yeah, and I'll take this

(01:03:41):
time to say thank you to do we're apologizing, So yeah,
I would like to. I would like to take that
as a thank you. And I don't I don't want
to apologize. I don't jump in those email, email chains
and text chains. They get silenced so quickly. On my phone,
I get to thread, Hey, it's my text change right,
it's my bachelor party. You notice I'm not really jumping

(01:04:03):
in that often either, just because it's a lot. Yeah,
but you're kind of the you're like the guy you
don't this is all happening behind you, but I think Adam,
you remember when we were in Second City together and
I sent out an email to everybody and I was like,
don't reply all to me. Do you remember this? There
is always yeah, He's always the one, and people were like,
I can't believe he did that. I went to class

(01:04:25):
and got like ship from everybody's like, so, Mr, we
don't like your reply alls, and I go, I just
don't want them. What's great about this? It is like
that's for sure, like a thing that a forty year
old man would do after had been in the business
world or whatever for a long time. And you're just like, hey,
I'm on the business world. I'm too I'm too busy.
I'm too busy. I had to do handle all these

(01:04:47):
there's was like twenty years old and was like, and look, guys,
I've got too much on my plate right now. I
do know you reply all when you have like a
I mean, I guess I must have just gotten what
a fucking I don't know it was either on my
laptop or on my first BlackBerry, but you're just blowing

(01:05:07):
up with these like half jokes, and then these like
add on half jokes like two seconds later you're like, guys,
you aren't you busy doing anything else than like to
each other. No, they're not, they're not. They're not. They're not.
And that's and that's how we got politically charged from
the jump dirs always keeps us charged. I would like

(01:05:28):
to for that. Hey, you're welcome. No takebacks on that.
And that was another episode of Agent K signing off