It’s A Best Of Eps (26 to 30) But We’re Back Next Week!

The best of This Is Important from episodes 26 through 30.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to This is Important a production of I Heart Radio,
the show where we only talk about what is most obviously,
very crucially important. Let's go. Can I say I do
hate that I see all the time everyone doesn't now,
and I think it started with Lebron and I think

(00:23):
I might have shipped on this in the podcast before.
But when people go let's go, it is crazy. It
bugs me and honestly, and I don't get that bugged
by a lot of things, but I'm like, you're very
un you can't bug this. Bugged by that. I am
bugged by that. Let's go. It's the response to everything
now everything. The intensity of it I think would get

(00:44):
very annoying. And it is annoying. But I what did
work on set with some guys who were very subtly
were like, let's go, and I did dig it. Well,
if you're literally going somewhere, they were on their way
to go somewhere. Yeah, if you're if you're like, hey, guys,
let's go, let's go. We're ready to go, guys Van's running, Yeah,
let's go. When it's like, uh, you sink a cornhole

(01:04):
shot and you go, let's go, or the kids opening
like their Christmas presents on Instagram. They were like getting
a PS five. They're like the PS five, let's go
about a Christmas gift. Let's go My parents are rich.
Your poor grass parents can't go anywhere. So this is
the thing I've always wanted to kind of like step out,

(01:27):
but then I just forget because it's not that important.
But this is important. It is important, it is this
is important. I feel like birdwatchers also. It's just it's
kind of a swing underground swinger organization that checks out.
They're like, what's up with your cockatoob? Bro? I guess
it's not easy topher, not that underground. Let me suck

(01:51):
your blue Let me suck your blue bird. I will
suck your suck your wife. Hey, can I lick your
us whole? Kato? I will suck your wife while you
suck my cockatoo. It all just ends in kato. What's
up with your cockatoo? Bro? Can I lick your dick hole? Kutu?

(02:13):
Shove your seagull up my ass? So close has been
gone for a few days. She's, you know, visiting her family,
and I'm left to my own devices. We know what
that means, we know what that means your iPad and
your iPhone, all the devices. Dude. I uh, I almost

(02:33):
died the other night. What happened? What happened? God, let's
unpack this. I don't know when I turned it on.
It must have been like the day that she left
the stove, oh boy. And I had it on for
like legit almost three days, like the burner or like
the oven, the gas like it was all the way

(02:54):
to the summer, so you couldn't even see the flame.
So it was just on and I have it's cold,
so I have all the windows shut and my ears
being weird, so I'm just kind of running my fireplace.
So I'm running the fireplace, have the gas. And then
I turned the fireplace off because I'm smelling like rotten eggs,
good job. I'm like who farted and diarrhea. And it

(03:18):
was like several days of me going like something stinks.
I'm like taking showers, going like do I stink? Like shit?
Am I like just putrid smelling? Did I? Did I see? Yeah?
Am I sleeping in my And I'm like looking through
like I check underneath the cushions on the couch and everything,

(03:39):
taking like did I? Because also I'm kind I've been
a kind of a miss this weekend. I also puts
this weekend and my eye explode? Are you look insane? Happens?
I drank? No, I had some people over. There's a
boat boat parade down here, so like, I had some
people over. We all sat outside, we drank. Everybody left,

(04:00):
and then my one buddy Jeff was like, y'all stit
around and drink with you for you guys know him
as Tater Salad. He's a big fan of the podcast,
so so he up Data Salad shout out. So Tato
Salad was was kicking it and he was like, yeah,
I'll drink with you for a few hours, so like
and so then I just ended up pounding like eight aclans,

(04:24):
just like shop by them. And we know that three
gets you drunk. Three pretty lights my up. So can
you shotgun fucking ashlands? Just you get shotgun anything if anything? Yeah, yeah,
that's the only way I was going to come back
to drinking. Anyways, you were saying, and I was like,

(04:49):
you know, I was too It wasn't that I puked,
it was I was too full to go to sleep.
You know that feeling when you're like when you're drunk
and you're just like, I'm gonna explode too much liquid
within me. And so I made myself confident. And then
the next day I wake up and my eye is insane,
looking like it popped the blood vessel just because I was.

(05:11):
And so it was yeah, I do. Because it was
the next day that it was like this. I've been
playing that it's my fitness, but I know it's I
just didn't want to tell the internet that it was,
you know, just I'm just puke and tell the internet
you were gagging so hard that the tongue is like
all the way out. So then the next day I

(05:34):
wake up in my whole house reeks of of like
rotten eggs in my puke somewhere, And for like a
full day and a half, I'm going like I must
a puke. I'm like, some puke got somewhere that I
don't know, or it got on my clothes and I
brought it somewhere. So I'm checking every inch of my
house until I realized, like I go to like microwaves something,

(05:54):
and I'd like I'm close to the stove and it's
like hot touch and I'm like, why is it so hot?
And then I realized I've had the gas on for
like two and a half days. You should have died. Dude,
leaking out and I'm smoking weed inside the clothes. I'm like,
I'm having a good time. I'm the light in the fireplace.
I'm lighting the fireplace. I'm still I'm like personifying the

(06:18):
gas for every time you're like lighting a joint and
like it gets near you and then like you put
it out real quick because you gotta go, and it's like, oh,
we could have just exploded that house. You know what
I think it I think what saves me is I
always smoke, even when Chloe's gone. Says she was, Chloe
is your angel, brother, Remember, I don't. I don't know

(06:40):
who was there? Two of you guys there were there,
Maybe Kyle wasn't. But we got pretty drunk one night
in Los Felas, and I went to a bar and
put on like an hour's worth of Drake Kelly, No,
it was it was Drake like those news cool like
touch pad Yeah, And we got twisted and we invited

(07:06):
somebody to the six Flags. It was the bartender, it was,
And then she went and we didn't go right what wait,
I don't remember this part. I think she's like I'm
at the Batman Ride. Yes, like I'm still sleeping. We
were super Hambard telling her like yo, like she just
moved to town. Oh god, we're so bad. We were

(07:29):
making promises. I don't remember this at all, so this
is on This is specifically on you guys. I remember
the Drake Commandeering of the Jukebox, but I do not
remember the sixth Bad Commandeering. I mean, yeah, this was
like Drake's first album, like second you can think what
you could think? Me now? Oh yeah, I was still
far gone for sure. Was that the one where where

(07:52):
they had all like the big breast I said, women's
uh that were in like the low cut tops and
they were playing what what? What track was that? Was
that best? Yes? She's thet Yeah she's the best. Remember
someone showed me that video and I'm like, this guy's
a star. Look at all these big breasts. I was like,

(08:15):
all these giant brest women. This guy's a start something
about he knows what people like. Honestly, Mexico is kind
of my retirement plan. I'm trying to be a Mexican brother.
I told Chloe on more than one occasion how much

(08:35):
I think Blake would love Mexico specifically because it felt
it didn't feel Cobo, just felt like southern California right right.
I was like, oh, this is like Newport Beach South.
It's a vibe, which I'm down for. Nueva Porto, sure,
which is very nice, but Punta Mia felt like, I'm like, oh,

(08:55):
this is Mexico. This is cool. I'm so jealousy. It's best.
It's not Ni It's nat is where it is sal
That's where I think. All those words that you just
said sound real to me, and I believe they roll
off your tongue and you are speaking my language. Baby.
Let's get there, Yeah, get your bum down there. Man,

(09:15):
it's so sick. As long as they understand Margarita, I
might not come back. Brother. I'm just saying so right now,
it's let's go. Right. Before that, it was That's what
I'm talking about, and that is what I'm talking about.
Before that, at some point it was like boo yah, sure, yeah,

(09:37):
believe I had a day. What is the history of
that exclamation sports thing? In chronological order? Starting it goes?
Are you starting newer or older? Are we talking Blake's
favorite decade? The nineties Do you think it started there?
Do you think it started where we starting? I don't
know what started. I'm saying, let's start with let's go
and work our way backwards. Okay, let's go. It starts there,

(10:01):
let's go. Was that's what I'm talking about? Right before that?
I think so, I think that's that's what I'm talking about.
People used to just say that. They could have not
said anything, but they would go That's what I'm talking about.
And that's a long one too. And also they might
not have been talking about anything. No, you were just
doing that. Person wasn't talking, they were silent for thirty minutes.

(10:22):
Then a thing happens. Then that's what they're talking about.
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
You're like, hey, Jeff, you didn't say ship, dude, you
weren't talking about anything. Literally, you're silent, you're playing chess.
You're playing chess, and you haven't said a word in minutes.
But wait, sorry, I think before let's go, it was
just whoa whoa like. It was. It was the Rick
Flair woo like. People were doing that instead of speaking

(10:44):
for a while. That's true. I mean, does a high
five count in this. I feel like maybe the high
five was the big bang. No, no, no, it has
to be an oral exclamation verbal five could be where
it started, that was the big bang, Like that could
be back in the fifties. No, it's for sure, just
like some old timey like sneaker do it all, you know,
like twenties slang, that's for sure. Hang on, it's yeehaw

(11:12):
horse riding. But I'm going around like sports, like popularized
sports phrases that are said once by a pro and
then twelve year olds across America go, I'm gonna say
that for eighteen months, do you Like? I can only
think about tropic thunder when he was like, get you some,
get some get someone for a while out there on

(11:34):
Twitter out suck it, hump the air, and you say,
suck it. Yes, that's degeneration. X Blake fucking kudos. There
you go, buddy. It looks like you weren't. You didn't

(11:55):
fall asleep at the wheel this week. Thank you for that. Bro.
Can you imagine the autopsy twenty years you were if
you fell asleep, vomited, choked on your vomited, and died
and then your house exploded. Whoa they'd be like he
obviously died from the explosion, and then something like he

(12:16):
was super drunk off of three Actually, bro, I Chippotle
two days ago, man, and it was I loved I
love Chippole, Chapot. You know what I did that? I
I mean, if Chippotle is listening, took a brother up
again get a few years ago that I completely I've

(12:36):
lost it. I don't know what happened to it. They
gave me a fucking card that said like, free Chipotle
for life, as much Chipotle as I can for years,
not diarrhea. Take it back out one that said that
it was forever forever card, And uh, it's the best.
I love Chippole. It's not diarrhea. Why do you do it?

(12:59):
I could get Chipotle every day and then once a
year I could get a hundred party for a hundred
people Chippole and all the time, and then now the
cause of diarrhea. It's not diarrhea if you're not just
has the button. He has too much control, he's got
too much power, his power. But he did it three times.

(13:20):
And I love Chippo. Drunk on his power. He's drunk
on his part. I talked to you about diarrhea. Man,
do you have a whole fucking ten devoted lost Like
why he quit drinking is because the hangovers were so bad.
If we wanted to take like an ice pick to
his skull or whatever. He said, Yeah, man, they wanted

(13:41):
to that. I've never experienced that. Normally, my I can
shake off a hangover within a couple of hours. Yeah,
you're a trooper. It was like a day and a
half was catching up. Yeah, that's my guy. Yeah, the
age is starting, and you're one of my best drinking friends.
To be honest, you are a great at it. Thank you,
thank you. I yeah, I do pride myself on how

(14:04):
much I could how much alcohol I could throw in
my system. So what what happened on that hangover day?
Did you have ship that you had to do or
was it just a wash? No? I went and did
all kinds of ship. We went and we looked at
at another property and like toured the thing and then
and then you know, I just regrouped, regathered and hit
it again. Yeah. Hey, nothing like, don't do what we

(14:24):
did last night. Wait a second, Well it was the
only I was like, well, I don't know. I did
a workout the next day to try to shake it off,
I puked in a bush like I did a body
weight workout on the beach and was just like, so sick. Yeah,
he is so sick when he pukes. He's very sick.

(14:45):
That's poisoned. Yeah, he's in fact poisoned. And then I
was like, you know what I need to maybe if
I have another drink will make me feel good, and
chloes like that's an insane thing to say, like, and
then of course I had one drink, felt had three more,
felt really great. Yeah, my boy, it works like that

(15:05):
for the youth of America. If you feel bad, just
keep drinking. Allegedly, Yeah, if you look it up online.
Nowhere in the world does it say srburt. There is
no second ar, there's no burt. So is it like
wherever the word is from. Is it pronounced like sherbet,
like sorbet, like sorbet? Or is it like a mutation

(15:26):
of sorbet? Very possible? But why does every single person
on earth say sure? But do you think this is
like a Mandela effect kind of thing? What's that? What
is that? We're in an ultnate alternate ultimate alternate universal,
an alternate reality. I know what you're talking about. I
watched I watched that episode of John Wilson or whatever

(15:47):
where people are like, don't you remember it said it
said Stofer's stovetop, And it's like, no, you fucking idiot.
It never said no. But it's true. There is ship
like that. Do you know what the Mandela effect is? No?
I actually I don't. I'm learning. Um, oh God, let's
teach you something. Let's learning this. They believe the Mandela effect.

(16:13):
There's like this. I guess it started with a whole
bunch of people. I thought that Nelson Mandela died, was
like killed in prison, right, and like this whole tons
of people said that they remember, like the news talking
about it, and they fully have vivid memories of this
happening when he didn't and he went on to be

(16:34):
the president of South Africa and they but they believe it.
These people believe in a certain way, and they they
think that like there's a in the space time continuum
that something split off and the only thing that these
people remember about their timeline is this thing happening that

(16:55):
didn't happen in the new timeline that they're on. It's
the it's the dumbest fucking thing in the war old
because what they're doing is they're going No. When I
was five years old and I had this memory, I
had it exactly know. It's fruit loops spelled like fruit
and you're like, no, it's two ohs alright, and people
are like, no, I swear it was fruit loop. We're

(17:15):
in a different time. It's so weird. It's just like
why people doubled down because of their pride. It's miss
memories that a bunch of people have together, and there
are conventions where they go together. They're like, yeah, the
movie quote was this, But all of a sudden, I
watched the movie and it's different. But we all said, yip, motherfucker.

(17:35):
It's like, if you build it, they will come. But
it's not necessarily That's not how it was said in
the movie. It's like, if you build it, Ray, it's like, Luke,
I am your father. Yeah, he never says that, right,
he never says that. It's like these things that have
been distilled down to a nice line that works out
of context, and it's like that's the line because the

(17:55):
world says it that way. But when you go back
to the movie within context, the line is different and
you got it, And that's Mendela effect. And so these
people have found each other. They think they're like onto
something and it really is a collection of people with hope.
You know. That's That's the nicest way I can put this.
What are they hoping for? They're hoping that like there's

(18:18):
another plane of existence. They're hoping that they're not idiots.
They're hoping that they're not wrong, because there has to
be some bigger explanation other than they're wrong. Right. Well.
It's also I think a lot of people want to
believe like when uh, like when Elon Musk started to say,
like talk about like timelines and talk about how like

(18:39):
we're in a simulation and ship. I think people just
really want to believe that ship, you know what I mean? Yeah,
because they can't believe how shitty their lives are. Do
you think Neo ever sits down and goes, man, this
has got to be some fucked up reality. This can't
be it. No, he's Neo and he's out there like,
are you referencing the matrix? Let's go. No, I don't

(19:01):
think he's are you I'm referencing the R and B singer. Yeah,
that's who I thought you were dancing your neo like?
And also has he even bitten in? Has he even
sang a song? In eight years? Neo? Would you after
the Year of the Gentleman? You don't have to do anything,
thank you? Okay, hey, let's go independent. Now you're referencing

(19:21):
a character from The Matrix, Like, that's weird, that's cross references.
I apologize because the Matrix is kind of about it, right, Okay,
tyres is he's killing to be fair, isn't. Isn't Tyrese's
nickname Black Matrix? Is it? No? I made that up.
You can believe that, though, Yeah, we could. The car service,

(19:50):
such as from the hotel to do resort was like,
do you guys want to go to the um pharmacy?
And I'm I don't you know. I'm like not a
pill guy, so I don't even know that that's the thing.
So I was like, uh, and Chloe needed like toothpaste.
You forgot toothpaste. I'm like, I guess, yeah, if it's
on the way, we'll stop and uh. And so he's

(20:11):
like I got you and he took us. There no toothpaste,
and it's just like a wall of drugs and then
they hand me a a menu and I was like, oh,
do I get into drugs on this trip? Would they
have to offer you? They had everything, dude. They had Zanex,
which I've never really fucked with, but I know people love.
They had pain pills that I don't funk with, but like,

(20:33):
I know people do. And then they had steroids, which
I was like, real close, how do they like label them?
Are there like sections? Yeah, there was like pain killers
like a picture of like a buff dudes. So they're like, oh,
this is the steroids over here. Wait wait, wait, wait,
let's not bury the headline. What was them dick pills? Yeah? Yeah,
they had dick polls. They for sure had dick poles.

(20:53):
Yeah they got that right, Chloe, go get in the car. Yeah.
It's just like, oh, you know, it would be hilarious
if you got like a thousand dick pills that gave
it to people as jokes, that'd be that'd be hilarious,
frank Wards, And then I give you guys each like
to dick pills, like as a joke, Hey, what happened
to the other nine hundred and nine dick pills at him?

(21:13):
I don't know, please touch it. It's gonna explode. That'd
be a cool wedding. Though everybody's just about I'd be
down for that. You know that that the leader of
a youth group is for sure screaming let's go when
talking about like, let's go about scripture or about climbing

(21:36):
a rock wall. All right, everybody are y'all, you're all
ready to recite the Lord's prayer. But Scott, he knows
every hair on your head. Brother, let's go, let's go.
Jesus gets my pecker hard. On the third day he
rose again, much like my pecker, let's go. Do you
guys remember when we were when Workaholics had just for

(21:59):
me heard and it wasn't actually out yet. We just
premiered it at the Trump Roast, No, at the that
was it. That was it. That was the first time
on TV. It was before we were in Miami, and
it was for like the South Beach Comedy Festival, and
we showed it to like a room of four college
kids and it was awesome and they loved it. Well,

(22:21):
it did really well, and we were like, holy sh it,
I think people are actually gonna like the show. And
we partied like we had just won the NBA Finals.
We like went out that night. We're like yeah, and
it was like three am or four am, and we're
in South Beach somewhareness, our first time there, and we're
just like partying our faces up. And I remember we

(22:41):
were at some like karaoke place but in bar, and
I can't remember exactly where we were. But some girl
comes up to me and she's got big dad and
she's just like chopping me up. And I'm like, I
must just be throwing out like mad confident Aura because
the show just premiered and did so great, and I'm

(23:02):
like on the Rosby, like throwing it out right now.
And she's like, do you want to come back to
my room? It's I have a hotel room right next door,
and I'm like, uh, yeah, I do. But then I
was thinking, I was like, oh, I'm so fucked up
right now, like I'm like acting. I'm like, you're really drunk.
I'm not gonna be able to have sex with this girl.
And so I'm like, you know what, I gotta go
splash some water in my face to gear up for

(23:24):
this situation. So I'm like, hang on a second, babe,
and I go into the bathroom I gotta go puke
all this poison myself exactly, Kyle, And so I splashed
some water in my face. I was like, all right,
you can do this, and I go back out, and
then I see her chopping up some other just like
dumpy dude, just just chopping him up, and he's like

(23:47):
in and he like touches her lower back and like
walks away with her. And then I see she has
a scorpion tattoo on her thigh, and I'm like, oh,
I think, uh, I think she was a prostitute. And
I just aim too drunk and uh naive to notice that.
Remember the part two of that is that there was
this one just the star of the show that night.

(24:11):
He was probably five ft four hundred pounds and he
was probably like eighteen in a day or twenty young dude,
and he was just full on sexuality dancing in the
middle of this entire karaoke and everybody directly in the eyes.

(24:32):
And Miami's different. He also got arrested for being a prostitute.
We're like, who's this guy? He's killing it? Did he
really did? We stay on stage and like play fucking
bongos and ship that night, and like like hella late,
like we were jammed. I did Tina Turners. We don't
need another hero. I want to say Isaac did like

(24:54):
some some eighties punk. Isaac's our manager. I just remember
were like commandeering the drums. I'm glad that we have
Dirs here to remember all the details later, and actually
said it got fuzzy for me. I can't remember noting
Miami is the best. It's so underrated, Miami Psycho. And
then we went back to the hotel and we're like

(25:16):
all going in our rooms, but we're like right next
to each other, and there's balconies outside, and so we
look in the ocean, but it's like a horseshoe shaped
hotel and we were on the middle part of the
horseshoe and all of a sudden, Holy ship, dudes, he's
like to go out of the balcony and he's like
he's like, he's like, I think you guys want to
come out here, and we all come out on our

(25:37):
individual balconies and look out and there's just some guy
with all the lights on his hotel room just having
a full blown threesome, just just going for it. As
the sun was coming up and it was like the
sun was coming up and we were like, I guess,
I guess this is our lives now watching people. We

(26:00):
were kind of part of orgies. Now this is starting
about from my football field away. Hey guys, this is uh,
this is our lives now. It was crazy. Yeah, that
was like it was like four thirty to five in
the morning. We watched that happened as I so went
up and just memories. That was cool because that was

(26:21):
like the first time we all had our own hotel rooms.
Before that, we were like sharing. Yeah, we were like
a traveling circus, just jam packed. Yeah. I would sleep
in the closet. I don't know who got the beds,
and now probably DERs and Adam got the beds. We oh, well,
do we want to tell that story? What's that story
we're telling? It's story time. It's just like story No, No,

(26:45):
this is before it, this is before everything. When we
were doing a national lampoon, Oh, I know where you're
going with the tour, and we were all in a
hotel room together and came back from the club. I
was this somewhere. I was not there. I have the recording.
Kyle has a recording. Just if you're imagining I'm at
our house. Yes, Kyle's back in l a missing us

(27:09):
recording albums that you've heard. Yeah, he's recording lonely albums
about aliens. And that's exactly what was going on. And
we're on tour in is this Chicago? This happened right?
And we get some deep Dish pizza because I was like,
we gotta get it. We go out for where were
we performing though? Where we were that was where we're

(27:29):
performing at the Zanys in Vernon Hills Hills. Got out
Vernon Hills, and we swapped out a city name in
our sketch for Waukegan and played pretty good if I
remember it. Got a laugh every time. I think I
had two thirty Is that right for a gummy thirties' cancer?
Maybe I had to fifteen? Well, I mean that's a

(27:52):
that's a lot too. Yeah, that's that's a big I
was toast. Yeah, well, I mean, and that's fun if
you're like, I'm getting fucked up on edibles, which sometimes
that's fun to do, but other times you're just like, like,
I'm at the point that I'm I like to be high,
but I want to have the option that in thirty

(28:13):
minutes I don't. I won't be on the moon. You
can go for an all OUTSPEA can go out. I
can go and smoke a little more, or I can
have another little edible and just keep that buzz going
instead of just you know, peeking. That's why I don't
beer bond that often anywhere. Yeah, we gotta get back
into that. But my gad, I beer boned on my
birthday and I shot gun to on my birthday and

(28:35):
I felt like my body was going to explode. I
like chug like nine beers. I'm too old. I'm thirty
seven years old and I'm just like pounding beers and
I felt like my body was gonna pop by the
end of the night. And I'm like, I understand why
I haven't done this in a while. That being said,
hero ship. That being said, there it is when we

(28:59):
went I remember when we went to New Orleans. That
was the first time I sucked around with edibles, like
in a major way, because I had just quit drinking
and so I needed something to do because I was
so fucking fidgety in New Orleans. And I had these
two d milligram bars, like these little tiny and I
was like, yeah, they were called Choose. I feel like

(29:22):
they were early Chiba Choose, and that was still when
before micro dosing was the game. It was like how
much can you fit into a small amount? And so
they had put like a hundred and fifty or two
hundred milligrams into this little tiny twtstie roll size Chiba chew,
And I fucking took the thing to the dome and
watched The Secret Life of Walter Middy and perfect You're like,

(29:47):
oh my god, his life is secret. That fucking movie rocks, dude,
Like it was so fucking good. Ben Stiller's high art. Man,
it was amazing. He's just shredding down, like on that skateboard.
I remember like the cool c G I of him
just like ripping on the skateboard. And the whole time,
I'm like, why couldn't they get Adam Scott's fucking beard right?

(30:09):
Like everything else is gorgeous, but Adam Scott's beard looks
like dogshit, it looks like a ground wing. I was
just his beard, dude, demand how about Sean Penn. At
the end of the movie he was so, I'm like,
this dude is fucking good. That's right. The whole movie
is about finding like a white Bob Gaters and he's like,
you just you don't even take the pictures. Sometimes I

(30:33):
was like, whoa, that's whoa, this got dumb. I was
so scared though, so then the movie. Then the movie ended,
and I was like fucking crying. I thought I had
to call an ambulance because I was so stoned. I
was looking at my fucking didn't run back, running back,
I should have cost like it was like a dollar
hotel movie. I wasn't going to run that ship back, huh.

(30:57):
But yeah, it was scary. That was a lot of
and MG's in another life, I feel like I would
have been a cocaine yeah, Like I just you know,
I just don't like the feeling. If you were more
in your prime in the eighties, you would be coached
in the wall. Yeah, I'd be coach to the max
for sure. Well, cocaine also fucking rules. It's so dope. Yeah,

(31:18):
it's really dope. I don't know, I've never done it. Yeah,
I love that ship. Yeah you've never done cocaine me. Yeah,
I'm so glad you haven't. Can you imagine? Can you?
My whole thing is like I'm just not a hard
drug guy. But I'm like, can you imagine me on cocaine? Yes,
have you seen American Psycho? You'd be Patrick Bateman. You
would be up for a week straight, you would. You

(31:39):
would just see a bag of cocaine and all of
a sudden just starts sprinting somewhere. Oh man, you gotta
try it. No, I don't think there's needs to I'm
not really interested in. I wonder what drug I would
want to do. Um, I don't know. You should do
some micro dosing of shrooms. I think that might do. Yeah,
the silly cybin bro. Oh you've you've never done mushrooms either,

(32:02):
Hunt Jersey. No, gosh, yeah, mushrooms are my favorite drugs.
I will say I haven't done like all the drugs,
but I've done a fair amount of drugs, and mushrooms
are for sure my favorite. It's awesome. Yeah. They and
that's just you just you're just hallucinating and going, wow,
look at that possum over there. But really, it's like cocoa.

(32:23):
It's not that psycho. No, it's not. It's very rarely.
You're very rarely seen ship. But you have to take
a lot. But I mean I used to do a
lot of mushrooms in high schools. Hey kids, Uh, if
you want to get ahead and life allegedly, yeah, yeah,
I probably did like twenty times in high school. And

(32:46):
who's counting, Yeah, like I mean dozens, like a couple
dozen probably, And uh it's and then less as I've
gotten older, just because you know, you just kind of
do less drugs. You gotta be somewhere. Yeah, you have
things to do. But it's just the fucking best. It's you.
You laugh so hard, colors are more vibrant. And I

(33:06):
just started, not just started, but I've Like two years ago,
I went to a buddy's birthday party and we all
micro dosed and out in the desert, and I'm like, well,
I was like, I don't know if I really want
to be on mushrooms right now. This is more of
a party atmosphere. I'm trying to Is that the friday
that you were there and I came on Saturday? Yeah, exactly.
You came the next day. And I was like, I
don't know if I really want to do this. And

(33:29):
our buddy whose birthday was he was like, it's a
micro dose. It's not the same. You're not gonna trip balls.
It's just kind of the fun effects where everything you're
just giggly and uh, everything's um like in super focus vibrant.
Everything's vibrant, the colors are are on and popping, and
I'm like, all right, I'll give it a go vibro
and I was fully vibro, fully vibrate vibro. And so

(33:50):
then we took it. I was like, oh, why am
I not doing this every day right when I wake
up in the morning. Allegedly, Well, that was the thing.
I didn't do strooms until micro dosing became like an
idea because before it was like just fucking take the
eighth to the dome. And it's like, I'm so scared
of doing that because I already have a vivid imagination,
very nervous as to where I'm gonna go. Yeah, you're

(34:12):
talking about colors and I'm like, I feel like colors
are They're doing their thing already for me. Yeah. That's
why I stayed away from the hallucinogens and all that,
because I'm like, dude, I'm already like fucking pretty vibro,
like just walking around. There's no doubt in my mind
about that. You are a vibro. Yeah, but the the
micro dosing was something else, like that's like it's cool
because you can just take a little tiny drop. And

(34:34):
then like you're like, do you think that dude mic
Row has his own line of micro rho dose? I hope.
So it's a dirty job, dirty job, it's me with
the hat I got micro rho doses. That'd be fucking sick. Damn,
you're onto something on something. Well. I feel every time
I've ever done mushrooms, like a real amount of mushrooms,

(34:55):
not just like a little micro dose. I always think
like that you you haven't figured out Yeah, like the
universe ship becomes clear to you. You're like, yes, you
know what, I understand it now, and then as soon
as you get sober again, like six six eight hours later,
you're like, what the fund did I have figured out? Yeah?

(35:16):
Son of a bitch. And actually, uh, me and my
homie Austin, who you guys know, we actually back in
the day when we're like nineteen years old, we filmed
ourselves tripping so we could look back and be like,
well that then we'll look back and kind of know
hopefully maybe we said something to where we could figure
it all out. The universe basically and then we just

(35:37):
went back and looked at It's like an eight hour
tape of us just like touching the popcorn ceiling on
our shitty apartment and being like, whoa, you've got to
feel this the state of mind, man, Jesus just children poisoned,
feeling walls. I got to see those tapes. What about LSD.
Haven't have you guys ever fu with LSD? Or oh
that I've done a ton of Yeah, yeah, that's that's

(35:59):
that regular brothers there went right to asset spinal tap.
Well that's what I mean. I was tripping, like my
my pops was like LSD was my favorite drug, and
I was like, oh really, well that was a more
of a seventies drop. I mean people still obviously still
do it, but like that was big in the seven
I've never done it again. That feels harder to control
than silly side, but it just feels like it's not

(36:22):
gonna be a mushroom. Mushrooms. You see how much you're
ingesting and it was just grown from the earth, like
with acid, Like when you do it's like they put
it on a tab or I've seen people. I've never
done it myself either, but like they put it on
a gummy You're like, you don't know how much they
accidentally squirted from their little uh droplet. It feels much
more of like a medication laboratory thing than anything else.

(36:45):
You know. By the way, this laboratory you're imagining is
like some fucking dank, funky ass kitchen where they're like
pulling it all together and you might die, you might not. Yeah,
this isn't Cow State Berkeley. Brother, just put some paul
olive in there to give us some gexture, little slickness
to it. Put some die in it. Yeah. My dad
said something like he was like when when you were born, Uh,

(37:09):
I was so worried that I had been doing too
much acid and I was going to like you were
going to come out funked up, and I was like,
oh okay, and you did. Yeah. I think he's onto
something burning others feels good, ladies and gentlemen and and

(37:30):
in between. At home, we did not communicate about that.
So I'm I'm hard rock hard, peckers hard. That's amazing.
You got a hard packer. Now, peckers are hard as
hard as I guess day is what your dad said, Cole.
You got a hard pecker. Now, yeah, he said that
makes my pecker. Yeah. Didn't your dad ask you if
you had a hard pecker? No, wasn't that I distinctly

(37:50):
remember it saying, stuffer's how hard is your pecker? Like
dad was just talking about tools and said, like, that
makes my pecker hard. That was the men Ill effect
about Kyle's hard dick. Yeah right, didn't your dad ask you, like,
did you ask to look at your hard packer? What? No?
What the fun Mandela effect is? Uh? How hard to
get your I'm not behind this operation. I don't. I

(38:16):
have no idea. I just like how it tastes and
I like weed. So how is it up your butt?
And let me ask you this. Have you have you shotgun? Any?
Have you have you got that road yet? And I
have a shock, But I mean they're super chuggable. What
I like to do, I like to do do but chug
it personal personally, I but chug it perfect. You do

(38:37):
a handstand against the wall and just have one hand
to crack it open. Yeah, Chloe, real quick, can you
pour this in my shake that up? Real quick? Again? Okay, Okay,
do you really want to? Okay, my Maria, you're gonna
be doing this for the rest of your life allegedly.
Did you guys ever grow up with puzzles glued together

(38:59):
as a piece of art in your house? No? Absolutely not.
I mean my mom has like hilariously you know, not
shots fired against her, but like very Midwestern style of
art that she thinks it is awesome. What does that mean?
That means she likes like wooden things that have words

(39:20):
on them that is inspiring even from way back, or
like I know she knows the whole crib is decked
out now, but like, well now it's like that it
used to be just like kind of water colors of
like a a river or something, and it just it
looks It was like, oh, obviously this was sold at
like a t J Max that she was like, I

(39:42):
gotta get that frame. Like did you have did you
guys ever had like did you know what precious moments were?
They were like those little like dolls with the eyes,
little figurines and maybe like with their little sister with
a Teddy Bear and stuff. Yeah, precious moment My mom
had tons of that. I had one of those in
my workaholics office that I had got from my grandma's
like garage and put up in the Workaholics office. I

(40:03):
remember that. I remember that, just precious moments. For days.
We had like Viking ships and stuff around the house.
It was all just like Norwegian long boats. I love,
just the Nordic theme. You just had cool death metal
ship all over the place, you know, just the boats,
just like paintings of boats and ships and Viking. You

(40:27):
know what. It starts with boats, it ends with burning churches.
So we get back to the hotel from the bars
Slambard and there's pizza, and Blake and Adam are fighting
about like whose arms are bigger or something. Yes, it
was I have the biggest arms and lemmings real and

(40:51):
then probably the realist argument we've ever been in. And
I'm just like, well, it's the thing is that it's
not an argument, it's measure corble. What's not like no,
but don't forget something else. Because you claimed a bed
and he was like, that's my bed, and then you
threw his stuff onto another bed. He threw pizza in
my ass. Yet not yet yet, not yet. I thought

(41:14):
he puked in the limo and lied about it. I didn't.
I didn't lie about it, though, I diet puked because
you ate hello. There was like Chinese food, Continental dinner
at the hotel. It was start at the beginning. There
is no Jillian was there. We gotta ask her and
they started. So we went out and this was the

(41:36):
night before the show. We got in our director Jay
Leggott r I p the man he passed away. He
got us a limo and he's like, I'm gonna take
you guys out of the Town show Chicago, and we're like, oh,
hell yeah. So we get in the limo. Right before
the limo, the hotel we were staying at had all
you can eat free bud Light, yes, all you could

(41:58):
drink bud Light, and all you can eat egg rolls,
and I'm like, you know, I'm poor. We were crushing it.
I'm like, I was like, we're broke. I was like
twenty years old. I didn't go on the trip because
they were gonna pay me seventy five dollars for like
six days worth of work, and I'm like, dude, it
was a whole scam. I don't want to get into

(42:19):
that again. It was worth it because it was great stories,
but I had no money and so I was like,
you know what I'm gonna eat all the egg rols
I can handle. Now. We were all crushing them to
build a base so I don't have to eat dinner later.
This is smart, so I don't pay for dinner. And
so I ate like fifteen egg rolls or something and

(42:41):
was just chugging the bud light and that didn't go
well in the guts we get in the limo, I
want to say. I want to say that. They also
like said they're like, okay, hey, it's six pm. The
bud light and egg rolls are over. And then they
just like closed doors on like a cabinet to a keg.
And we were like, okay, I will stop. And then

(43:01):
for another hour we just opened the camerat and we
kept drinking and getting hammered. And then yes we were hammered.
But when we got into that limo going out for
the night, and then the limo topped out with egg
rolls and buttlock egg rolls, that's it. How many people
in the limo there's like nine. Yeah, it's like we're packed.

(43:23):
And I remember I act in the limo and uh
like the beginning of the night and and I'm like
I'm so sorry, and we're like Jesus and the guys
all pissed at me, but we had him for the night,
and I'm like to do and he's like fun. And
we get to the place. Everyone's kind of sulted me
that I puked in the limo, and I'm like, I'm sorry,
I didn't me too. But then we I rallied and

(43:46):
we continued and we go out for the full night.
This is another one of your lives. By the way,
vomited from alcohol poisoning, rallied, kept drinking. Isn't that what happened. Yes,
that's what I'm saying, one of another one of your lives.
Not gonna lie lives. I thought you said lies at him. No, no, no, dude,

(44:07):
no no lies here. This is all true, zero lies. Yeah,
like I remember it. This is honest, abe over here, man.
And and so then we go out and then we
had a great night. I remember. There's like fun photos
of that night and we all look really sloppy. There's
really funny photos of Blake looking like just a spicy

(44:29):
fifty five year old divorcee who had one too many margharita's.
I definitely had my pants off in the limo on
the way home. That's so yeah. So when did the
turmoil begin? So on the way home, you take your
pants off, they're they're fighting about something that wasn't arms,
and then it got into who's got the biggest arms,

(44:51):
and this is what I think it was. I think
Adam like collapsed onto what it was Blake's bad and
so then he was like yet, and he goes here,
throw yourself and he threw his stuff onto the other bed,
which is just not that's not kosherre you don't do that.
But everyone's drunk, and then Blake was just like, no,
put it back, and you're like no, I'm already sleeping here.

(45:11):
And then who threw pizza into whose butt? Somebody took
a piece of pizza and then just like threw it
into somebody's butt. What actually happened with Blake fell onto
my bed, and Blake moved I think he moved my
ship onto the other bed. And he's like, I get
this bed. I'm like I already called that bed. And
then he had his pants hanging off, and I go, well,

(45:36):
if you're gonna if you're gonna lay on what I
claimed is my bed, I'm gonna throw this leftover deep
dish pizza in your asshole. His ass was hanging out.
He hit his entire ass just up in the I'm like,
come on, man, why is your hanging used to get
like pull your pants like dangerously down when you were drunk.

(45:57):
You love, They're still they're down right now. I've been
stand up, stand up. We're finally going to see the butt.
They'll be pulling it up. You're pulling it up, see
all the way down. See yeah, look it's that. Here's
a whole asshole is hanging out of his pants down.
I'm from the Bay, dude, we sag bro oh yeah,
no one, no one anywhere else sacks. I guess that's

(46:17):
only anyway. So I threw deep directly into Blake's asshole.
The bond of the hangover it's so much fun. It
is some of the funniest mornings I've ever had is

(46:37):
fighting through a hangover with my buds. I'm saying that's
what they're selling it for. I'm saying I also love
that next day when like you then go out and
with your with you like the crew that's still there
the next day and you go get breakfast or whatever,
and you're like and I can't believe you did that,
and then like the one guy who like fell asleep
in the neighbor's yard comes, he shows up to the

(46:59):
break a spot and everybody's like, oh, he's not dead,
and then you're and then you're chexting your one buddy
to show up, and then he does it, and then
you find out he did die. Okay, but he did die. Yeah,
he actually did die. He was really drunk and he
walked into the freeway. So that's also if you had
a stick epic gass hang overnight. But if it was

(47:20):
just like you and your roommate and you both fucking
crushed tall cans and you both woke up hungover as buck,
and it's like, yeah, that's less fun. Yes, dude, Hey,
remember last night when you pissed yourself and it was
just me and you. You opened up your dresser drawer
and pete in it. He Remember when me and you
were just watching Shark Tank and you got weirdly way

(47:42):
too drunk and started telling me that you love me
and that you never loved your mom. Isn't that the
cool thing about it? Where it's like it helps you
recognize how shitty the behavior is. You're like, I can't
I can't do this, this is this was too much.
I mean, I know Kyle was talking about how sick
of the hangings. Yeah no, I mean, but I don't

(48:03):
miss like the feeling or honestly, I don't really miss
fighting through the mornings as through your roommates to the
mornings right fighting my roommates. But I know what you're saying,
because honestly, some of the funniest morning and some of
the like still inside jokes that I have with like
my dude cruise all across America, multiple cruise. No, but

(48:25):
you know, like after like a drunken Renfair, Oh my god, dude, yea,
I love it. The rippen in the tarn, the ripping
in the tarn? Is that a lance in your pants?
I'm thinking about this because we all like camped in
our fucking cars. We all like we stole a hat,
we like fucking got wasted, found where they had the

(48:47):
taps and got smashed, and it's just like that's the
funniest in the morning, don't I don't think I've laughed
harder than just like with my eyes closed still on
the couch, or like in a hotel room with like
seven other dudes, were like no one can move, but
people are just like shouting ship from across the room

(49:07):
and like recalling stuff last night. And you are young
hangovers though, y'all are talking about days of yesterday. Two
year old hangovers. Yeah, those are fun as those are great,
and a nice nineteen year old hangover, those are fantastic.
I love that I would go up to like twenty
six seven, Like Dirsey's bachelor party, we were like twenty six.

(49:28):
I remember being like, this is so fucking tight. But
also we were a youthful, you know what I mean,
like a lot of people that age like it took
us a while to girl, I'm still pretty youthful, Like
I feel like it took us a long time when

(49:48):
other friends of ours are like married by twenty three
and have kids, I gotta go back to every union
and just see some people size them up. Yeah. I
think we did. We Uh, we did job of hanging
on to to our youth. I think, hey, for anyone
listening that's maybe twenty one or two, don't get married
until you're in your thirties and keep drinking and partying. Okay,

(50:15):
taper it off around seven, don't you don't have to.
I didn't still not if it's a problem. I'm speaking
for myself. Yeah, if it's a problem, if it's a problem,
if it's a problem, don't let it be a problem. Okay, Right,
that's really cool that you can do that. If you
see neighborhood cars and you feel the need when you're
drunk that you have to fight them. Oh yeah, you

(50:36):
have to punch these cars and come back with glass
in your knuckles. Bro, that's what I used to do.
That's my ship. Yeah, then maybe you do have a problem,
and maybe you should taper off the drink. Yes, yes,
thank you, Adam. It's a trip. My nana had had
fucking spoons on wooden like cut out things that were

(50:57):
just like spoons. Were all over the fucking living room.
Why are there spoons everywhere? She was a heroin Addict.
It's like she's a three basin dog my mom. Bro. Hey,
can we talk about Taylor Swift wearing the bear jacket

(51:18):
and saying that was weird and hopefully isn't as weird
or whatever her comment was. And she's wearing the bear
coat that Blake wore in like the third episode of Workaholics.
Bitch better have my honey. She's wearing it. She's saying
like stuff about weird, which that was our catchphrase, Let's
get weird, and then no love, no tag, no mention.

(51:42):
We mentioned ta te here on the podcast said there
wasn't a lot of overlap. Evidently there is. Evidently Tat herself.
Listen to the pot I'm looking at it two ways,
and they're and they're both They're both pretty cool. Okay,
let's go. Maybe I'm wrong about both. But my first
first version is she's seen the show. She's a fan.
Maybe she heard that we talked about her, maybe she didn't.

(52:05):
Either way, she's rapping. The other like side of this
coin is that Taylor Swift is who we're talking about.
I just said, yeah, I don't know if I mentioned
the bear coat and saying let's get weird is just
now like ubiquitously part of culture. And she didn't even
realize she was doing it. It's a Mandela effect, and

(52:27):
we are Nelson Mandela to her. I do have a
piece of intel, though well not really. It's just pizza, Okay, Blake,
Let's go pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, antel, pizza, pizza intel.
Like thinking of like a therapist who like it just
continually is like, Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go home. Uh,
that co is official bear Workaholics merchandise. That's the one

(52:50):
they released. Yes, that's what I thought too. It looked
like it came from says like workaholics in the hood
of the Yeah, it says workaholics on that coach. She
definitely watches the show and knows it's from the show,
or kicks it with somebody who fucking loves the show
enough to buy a hundred dollar bear coat from Urban Outfits.
You know what, you know what this is. I'd like

(53:11):
to talk right now to Taylor Swift because she's listening.
She's a pain everybody else to turn it off. Well,
it'll get it'll get just quiet. If you could mute
it just for a minute. I'd appreciate if you're not
Taylor Swift, because tat I would just like to say
thank you and we appreciate you, and we're all fans,
like I think we mentioned it on the podcast about

(53:31):
how I saw her live in concert and I was like, oh,
I get it. You're you're you're absolutely stunning, You're wildly talented.
You deserve all the success coming your way. Swift, and
that's to you. Now, everybody can turn it back up.
Everyone can turn it back up. I'm no longer talking
directly to Swift. Bring it back. We're still talking about it,

(53:53):
but uh yeah, right right, and it's and I'm I
feel it's it's a huge compliment that her most recent
album was basically about us. It kind of was almost
entirely about us, was it? What right we have? You
listened to it? No, I need to listen to this
you had. There's like little things you can pick up,
a lot of innuendo, Easter eggs, thank you, very cool. Yeah,

(54:16):
the first three last tracks, there's little things about us. Yeah,
from the very first one to the very last one,
and also the Secret Ones is almost entirely about us.
I think Adam has the best. But yeah, there's a
lot of that. Oh my gosh, you did hear that track? Hey,
everyone else stopped listening for just a moment. Turned it down.

(54:37):
Taylor Swift, who's got the best. But because like, honestly,
I don't care about any ball that is out there, whatever,
Taylor Swift says, that's the one. Keep it real. She's
wearing the bearcat, so we know who she picks. Who
wore the bear coat? Who she really shouting out here? Yeah,
but the bearcat covers the s Maybe she's like, yeah,
you gotta cover this thing. It's disgusting that she's also

(54:58):
wearing pants, so oh, come on, yeah, keep dreaming. Everyone
knows I wore pants, and most of the episodes he
did pants. Taylor, I know you. Everybody else turned it down,
turned down, turn it down. I'm speaking directly teyor Swift.
Taylor Swift, Hey, we never brought them back, but let's go. Okay,
keep it down. I brought him back. I did. I

(55:18):
brought them back that the audience was back, and then
now they're leaving again because Kyle's about to talk directly
to Taylor Swift. Dude, he had a Fannie peck with
a motherfucking Italian sandwich and his in it. It was
half eaten. Yeah, you'd smell him before he shot. Yeah,
he said, if you smell the Italian sandwich, you're already
down in the subway, spicy Italian like, because I hadn't

(55:41):
even all day and we were like getting ready to
jam out, and I was like, well, am I gonna
eat a twelve in sandwich? And then run around. So
I ate half of it and stuff the other in
my art terric spandy pack. So it's also couldn't you
just like put it in your car or something? Because
I was like where we were like lighting candles and
say happy birthday or some ship. So I stuffed in
a Fannie pack and he was like, what are you
just gonna carre hear that like you're saying, I go,

(56:01):
that's right, bit, right before you die, you're gonna smell
the spicy Italian. If you smell spicy Italian, you're already.
It was so clean, so good, I'll never forget it. Man,
that ship was hell of fun. Paintball was it hurts
so bad? Like you are legit running for your life? Yes, man,

(56:24):
I had a paintball hit me in the back and
knocked the fucking wind out of me, like I went
down down. We never did it like in high school.
We never did it in like proper paintballing places. We
would go out to the middle of the country and
just target and do it like in the corn fields

(56:45):
with like there's a corn field that surrounded and abandoned
a farmhouse. So then and then there was like say
silos and ship and people would get fucking very hurt.
Some kid fell through the barn because he's trying to
get some pimpass position up there. He was like trying

(57:07):
to snipe from the loft of the barn and it's
all just rotten wood and just fucking watch like running
around and uh, we're like, where's Cody, And all of
a sudden, here like crash fucking fall. It's like fifteen
feet just and uh, I think he broke a rib.
It was pretty bad. I mean you were you guys

(57:31):
drunk criers went at what age do you hit when
you stop crying when you get drunk? That is a
real high school thing. What are you talking about? That was?
I mean I can speak to that. That's me, dude,
that's I had the nickname of cry All when I
would get away. You should not have told me that
it's all good, bro. I'm seven years I'm seven years

(57:53):
out the game. The T shirt now my mom is
it big and like wooden signs that say ship specifically
about like the like she just moved to a lake
a few years ago, and uh, it's so many things
that just say like lake live and yeah, she's like

(58:13):
hobby lobbied out. It's absurd. And I've tried to talk
to her and I'm like, this is a lot, and
she's like, well, no, there's hardly any pieces. She like,
it's a bit. You fucking idiot, dude, it's funny, you
fucking idiot. I thought you're in a comedy. It's hilarious.
What is that? Is that like an Amazon addiction that
she's just like constantly looking for new fucking kutram No, No,

(58:34):
it's she's not buying a lot of this stuff. Where
is it coming from? Yeah, I think it's she like
had one or two things, and then she tells people
like I like having wooden signs, and then people are like,
Penny likes wooden signs. Penny likes wooden signs, so when
they come and stay, they bring one. And then and
then she just gifted so many signs and I'm like,
you don't need to put all of them up. It's
an insane amount because there's I mean, it's in my

(58:58):
Instagram story like a highlight. Because I went around. I'm like, Mom,
this is a lot of words all of your house.
And she's like, no, there's just a few. And I'm like,
I bet they're sixty and she's like no, And I
went around. There's like fifty or sixty things that just
say ship all over, Just keep you entertained as you
walk through the crib. But I'm like, wonder what my ship, like,
our ship is going to be. You know, Blake is

(59:19):
going to have the wackiest fucking house of all time
when he's he already does. I don't know why we're
saying what it's gonna be. Like we all have homes
that aren't bare walls, like exactly. Kyle has a ton
of paintings that his wife did. Blake has a fucking
like pee Wee's playhouse. Yeah, what is yours? Didn't like
your wife go like wild on lizards or some ship.
There was like lizard art all over. Oh yeah she did.

(59:42):
We had a whole bunch of like a bunch of
lizard art. Yeah. Room that was like the lizard Room,
And it was insane. It got to the level that
we're talking about, and I remember I was like I
didn't really have the heart. I was like, this is
your art room. You do whatever you'd like in here,
that's fine. And then you guys came over and you
guys roasted the room and then like no, yeah, I

(01:00:05):
remember walking in on me and like, holy sh it,
there's a lot of lizards in here, and you're like
I remember you getting self conscious, like yeah, yeah, there
is a lot, a whole lot of lizards. It's cool.
Lizards are actually cool. New Year, let's look back, but
from now on, let's look forward. Guy, and Blake Well said, hey,
will you write that down and put that on my shirt?

(01:00:27):
If you could get a piece of wood and paints that,
and my mom would like that in your house. If
you could paint that in cursive on a piece of wood,
my mom would like to put that one more time.
Turn it down. I'm talking directly to Taylor. Taylor, you
have impeccable taste. I know that you have chosen Blake
as the best higiny and I knew that we're soulmates,

(01:00:48):
and I do enjoy you and everything about you. Okay,
everybody can turn it back on. You're spinning out of control.
Hey everyone, turn it back up. Yeah, what the fun?
Turn it back up? Yeah, it's cool. Turn it back up, guys,
welcome back. This wasn't about hitting on Taylor Swift Kyle
at all. Yeah, I'm married, I'm not. I'm not I'm
not hitting on her exactly. So what's happened? What was that? Well,

(01:01:10):
you just said we're soul mates? What happened there? You
kind of I meant to say, everybody turned it down
real quick, I got a correct someone thing that I
said to Taylor. No, actually no, I'll do it everybody, everybody,
if you could just turn it down. I have a
message for Taylor, and I just want to apologize for
the guy. Okay, don't turn it back up. Let me
just say real quick, I'm sorry Taylor for saying soul mates.

(01:01:32):
I didn't mean that. I'm married. I'm sorry I forgot
your hopes up. I meant to say kindred spirits. Thank you.
Everybody can turn it back up. That's even weirder. You
thought you got her hopes up, like she's she's bumped.
Turn it back down, everybody, you think you got her hard.
I could see Taylor. I could see Taylor specifically fucking
with Carl the drug dealer though, thank you, Because you know,

(01:01:53):
like anyone that like has like such a like she
has like a goody kind of goody two shoes vibe
about her, squeaky clean, like that's her um persona at least,
uh that you know, they're always just the baddest chicks.
You know, they're always just wild, bad, bad gals. Yeah, boys,
if that's your thing, you know, yeah, I mean Dustin Diamond.

(01:02:16):
Let's let's take it for example, Okay, Screech from Let's
say It by the Bell. You know, you look at him,
You're like, he's a he's a you know, it's kind
of a sweetheart, kind of a totally word like a
lovable guy turns out psycho psychopaths. Allegedly, Uh, there's like
rape cases against them, allegedly, I'm not sure, not willing

(01:02:38):
to look it up, but willing to say here on
the podcast a mass murder allegedly there's like rape cases
or something. I don't know. I'm not gonna look it up,
but there's something about allegedly. But that is kind of
the thing I will say, Like when people are assholes
as their persona, for the most part, they're pretty nice guys.

(01:03:01):
Like they put that asshole on as like part of
their persona, but then they're really nice people for the
most part. Like jessel Nick, like Anthony jessell Nick is
like a really nice guy. You know what, I mean,
but his whole stick is that he's like the meanest
most cutting comedian that you can you can be. I mean,
look at Dirs. Everybody thinks he'son as always a goddamn

(01:03:23):
teddy bear. Yeah, that's true. You break it down. He thanks,
you're welcome. Welcome. Hey, let's go, and you're welcome. Let's go.
Let's go. Are you calling it? Let's go, let's call it.
Let's go ahead, guys, let's go. Yeah. I mean I

(01:03:47):
did do that one time when we me and You've
got in a fist fight over Thanksgiving and it was
just like the worst both just like beat the ship
out of each other. Mostly you beat my ass, I believe,
I don't know. And I remember being like, uh, what
is he? What is he like that? We're friends? So
there was that one time, but I mean that wasn't

(01:04:09):
like a And also I was twenty two years old
when that happened, Like I was, you know one. I
think that's peak cry when you're drunk age, right, No, well,
who else? I mean, yeah, is this a universal thing?
I don't think it's that universal. I would love to
throw this to the fans. I just don't know what
what like this like, is this just like you're so

(01:04:31):
drunk that you can finally like have an emotion? Yeah, dude, Yeah, No,
it's the demons. Is the demons, bubb I guess my
demons are just different, you have different demons? Yes, Well,
did you have any friends that did this at all?
Like the emotional drunks didn't have a crying friend? No,
I mean I also didn't have I mean, I guess
it would be Kyle. I don't remember him crying a

(01:04:54):
whole lot. I remember him like getting like boiling mad
and not being able to explain why he's so mad,
and she's like and we're like, all right, I don't
I don't, like, what is the thing. I guess I'm
trying to like recall an episode. Like I think I've
seen homies crying drunk, but it was probably because like
they just got beat up by some strangers or something,

(01:05:16):
or just like for me, it was like I remember
I cried once in high school and people did not
let me live it down for quite a while. And
it was because they called me cry, don't They called
me crowd sadam crying. We got the label, uh, you know,
they because it was just because of like a girl,

(01:05:38):
you know, and like you saw one and started crying. Yeah,
I saw one. I'm like, oh my god, you're so pretty, glorious,
they're so pretty. I want one. Her hair smells like pantine. Problem.
They won't thank me. Make seven doors in my basement. No,

(01:06:00):
we've established that under five under five. Okay, under five
doors five you cried because you broke up the girl
or whatever. Yeah, I can't remember the exact scenarios publicly,
that's valid. Yeah, there was, and that was one experience. Uh,
and that's the only time I remember like crying drunk

(01:06:21):
at a young age. So I don't think it's a
universal thing. Like, I mean, for sure, at some point
in your youth, if you drink alcohol, you're gonna have
some kind of emotional outburst, whether that's crying or you're
just like fuck you, Eric, and you're like why why
are they having beef? And then two guys who don't

(01:06:41):
aren't really enemies, you know, don't actually hate each other,
and you start swinging on each other and you're like,
I don't know too too much. Boon's hard, uh, Boone's
Boone's farm or yeah, what were the little Jack Daniels
um Well I was thinking of Mike's Hard Letsburgh glen
Manade Lynchburg or two Dogs. Do you guys remember two Dogs?

(01:07:04):
I think that was It might have been a specific
Midwest remember mad two Dogs? Like, um, it was like
a Mike's Hard Lemonade before Mike's Hard Lemonade. Do you
remember after shock? It was like cinnamon liquor with with
rock candy at the bottom, and then you had saved
the rock candy because it was like pure liquor and

(01:07:25):
then like you I call it it's like and you
finished the bottle and be like, Okay, well we can't
get liquored this weekend, so um, we're gonna melt this. Uh.
I was gonna say, is it a situation where like
in case of an emergency break glass? But then it

(01:07:45):
probably looks just like the rock. No, for sure, you don't,
don't you We melted it. We like melted it, eating
the model and we uh and then we like poured
it out in like little mini shots. So you were
free basing after shock, you would inhale the fumes and
thens like resin hits. First of all, all birds kind

(01:08:08):
of suck whoa chill bro Yeah, calm American eagles are
so tight the crane, now, dude, Owls fucking raw. American
eagles are not tight. Flamingoes are super dope. Owls are
so sick. Owls are so not sick at all. First
of all, you hey, fuck you. You are wrong. Yo,
you're about to get owl You better chill. They can

(01:08:30):
they can hear you know. Fuck you, dude, adam, fuck you.
I beat you to it. I beat you. I just
beat you to it. No, I already said it. Fuck
you owls rock. When's the last time you saw a
fucking owl? You prick a few a few years ago.
I'm moving When I moved into my house a few
years ago. You're such a fucking dumbass. There was a
owl that lived in the tree that like refused to

(01:08:52):
let me move in. He was like a total dick.
He'd swoop down. That's right, they're super territorial. You'd come
out on the balcony. He hed the ship out of me,
scared me to death, fucking terrifying. Oh well, you're a weakling.
They're scary, fucking terrifying our predators. You're a weak ass. No,
I'm not, dude, I'm as strong as hell. No, you're
a fucking weak ass. I know, and I think you

(01:09:14):
know that that is not true. I'm not a weak ass.
I just can't believe this. It's scared of birds. I'm
not scared. I just don't like them. You just said
it scared the ship out of you, and that's why
you didn't like it. Bro. Well, if you're standing on
a balcony and all of a sudden something, it's like,
who that will scare the ship out of you? Dude? Okay,
so you're a weak ass and that's why you don't

(01:09:34):
like owls. I wouldn't stop my stride, I'd go owl
and I would keep walking. I just think you're dismissing
the wisdom of one of the most majestic birds on
planet Earth. What other birds are amazing? Right? What other
birds are amazing? Birds? A hawk, a redtail hawk is
fucking cool. Hawks, peacocks, hummingbirds, hummingbirds. I mean, they're cool
when they're flying. But but I'm saying woodpeckers they make

(01:09:56):
that noise. Woodpeckers, they have a cartoon. Woodpeckers are the worst.
Like my parents house, Uh, there's a woodpecker right outside.
It was the absolute worst thing. Because they started at
like four thirty in the morning, just picking the fucking wood. Dude,
I'm pissed down. You should be making breakfast with somebody.
I'm and I'm just saying I'm pissing now. Fuck birds.
And that's a T shirt printed birds dude birds. Wow,

(01:10:20):
I'm pissing now. Fuck you. You don't fight with your
friends in the same way that you used to in
your twenties, when you guys are just roommates and you're
with each other all the time. I try, You're You're
done fighting with your friends that time in that same capacity. Yeah,
we're not together enough to where you don't fight, fight
like fucking brothers like anymore. Then I missed that. I'm

(01:10:45):
supposed to be somewhere I gotta go. You feel attention bubbling,
and you go, I got a thing. Actually, I do
have a somewhere to be. And you believe that other
person because they might and you want them to leave.
Back in the day, you're like, I know, you don't.
I know you don't have anything to do. No, you dope, bitch.
Where are you gonna go to the coin Star? You

(01:11:05):
got the coin star two days ago? Motherfucker. You do
not have that change, I can count that ship for you.
Do you how us you pay me? And if I
got that change, sit your as down. I'd like to
compliment Blake in his use of coin star. Back in
the today, he used to always uh sit there, assholes,
directly into the sky, counting his change on the floor,

(01:11:29):
waiting for a deep dish pizza right up the bum hoole. Well,
you know what I'm gonna my compliment those two, all
of us our friendship, It's battle tested. Still love you bros,
Love you guys. I love you guys. Blake, I love you,
love you Dirt, also love you. What do you have
to say? Dirty? Thanks? Could be worse? So I love

(01:11:54):
you Dirst. I'd love to hear from you. I heard
it from Blake, heard it from Kyle. I just said
it his inner. It's chunking are breaking up and hey,
love is in the air the clearest I've ever heard. Joe,
what's up coming through Cristical Clear? Just hit with the
dog man. Give you a compliment on how sweet you're
being Right now. It's tough. Here been a real rough year.

(01:12:17):
You know, maybe it's time to just come out with it.
You know you're just started brother. Oh yeah, all of juice. Hey,
you guys know it, all of juice. That's cool. You
know what would be really important if you just said
that you loved your buddies just one time. Be important.
He I love my buddies. Guys, this is great. Hey,

(01:12:39):
everybody quit looking back, just started looking forward and put
it on. And also it's good to look back and
walk down memory, lade, but also let's look forward. Let's
also look for turn it down real quick. I want

(01:13:00):
to talk to Adam personally acts and so I can't listen. No,
you guys, take your headphones off if you guys, Yeah,
come on, come take them off. Come to Adam. I'm
talking to take them off, all right, Adam? Yeah, Kyle,
I'm listening. I'm right here, man, what's up. There's a
certain level of awareness that we have on this podcast.
But sometimes when you shoot on us, like, it makes

(01:13:21):
us look bad in front of everybody. And I don't
know that we should do that. We should just kind
of like, you know, keep going and move on. And
so what do you are you saying? The nice on you? Yeah? Yeah,
you did? You should on me? Oh my god? What
did I shoot on? Why don't you cry about it.
You should on all of us. Man, you shoot on
all of us. When you shoot on one of us,
you shoot on all of us. Okay, I need you
to remember that. Okay, everybody, turn turn it up. Turn

(01:13:43):
it up, hey, Kyle, turn it up. I'm I was
here the whole time. I hate to break it to you,
but guess what, buddy, you heard that. Listen to me,
if someone ships on you, you let it roll off
your back like a ducky copy that. Now I hear that. Okay,
Kyle and I stand in solidarity with theirs. I think
you're being a little too sensitive that um And, in
all fairness, I had no idea he could hear me.

(01:14:05):
So do you need fairness? I just had no idea.
I thought I was speaking to Adam alone. I didn't
know that you could hear me. When I was talking
to Adam. I thought we were having a personal conversation.
My bad. I thought you would do what you said.
I thought you would respect Kyle's wishes and and take
the headphones off. But but you didn't. You left them on.
You heard it, and you heard it. I left them on,

(01:14:26):
but I completely tuned out. I'm not gonna let this bit.
I'm not gonna let this bit live. You're killing a bit.
You guys are looking at me. I never took him off,
and you're pretending like you can't see me. I'm not.
I'm not let this bit flying. Wow, who are you?
Why did you get this? And I'm like, I'm on
is the show? Do you have your phone? IMDb? It right?

(01:14:48):
You're bringing your up your own Have you ever had
to do that? I have in order to uh get
into my hotel room, Like I lost my key. I
like lost my wallet one night and I'm back coming
back to the hotel. We're shooting House Party season two
and in New Orleans, and I'm like, drunkenly back at
my hotel and I'm not I didn't, Madam Divine and

(01:15:09):
I'm in the room of I got a room and
it's upstairs and they're like, okay, yeah, have any idea.
I don't, and I'm like, look just here, just look
me up and they're like what And I'm like, look, look,
I'll prove that I'm who I say am. And I
had them look, I had them look me up and
then they still wouldn't give me a key. I think

(01:15:31):
it was because I was so fucking drunk, and they
were just kind of like lording my drunkenness, and you
probably didn't look like yourself. I was at bas was
probably falling on like, okay, you this the guys handsome,
you look like a def your eyes are melting. After
New Orleans was another level that was like that was

(01:15:53):
the best. Well, the funny thing about shooting that show
is we only shot for two weeks. We shot ten
episodes and two weeks two episodes a day. But I
still gained enough weight throughout that production is you saw
my body morph even though on the last few episodes
of every season you're like, yoh Jesus, well yeah, I mean, dude,

(01:16:13):
your your intake was at all time. I mean, I
don't know, but it was very high. Yeah, I don't
know if that that was all time, but that's why
I kind of took it back, But yeah I was.
I was. You know, I go big and with with
most endeavor. Literally you gotta do one of those things
where you take the picture every day so we can
just watch you medically watch my face. Like when they

(01:16:36):
showed like buildings getting built, would you see your face exploded?
That would be cool. You should definitely commit to a
year of that. My neck just start to droop and
then to get sucked back up like that the fox
getting eaten by the maggots. But it's you. What's up
that classic time lapse of like the maggots. Remember, time

(01:16:57):
laps is pretty You guys don't see that when you
close your eyes. Whatever. Time lapses are very very cool,
Yes they are. Thank you, Blake, Yeah, thank you. Anything
that plays with time filming, it to me is still
just unfu believable. Like slow motion, the fact that we
can see slow times, like you're talking time travel movies. Yeah,

(01:17:17):
it's kind of time travel because it's capturing moments and
slowing them down in ways that you're like, oh, the
naked eye doesn't see that, dude. It is so bizarre
that no matter how many times I shoot something in
slow mo, it's always like when you play it back,
you're like, what the crazy? Like when they pop a
water balloon and it like is still there for a moment. Yeah,

(01:17:39):
Like if you just light like a bit lighter and
it looks like a nuclear blast is still like the
exact same formation as if it was a bomb going off,
but it's just the lighter we're so stupid. That's the universe, man,
that's the universe. So fucking cool. Everyone other's like yes,
it's slow moment. We're just like no, Like like when
the breeze was on a puppy's head, it looks like

(01:18:02):
a field of wheat. Dude, it's gorgeous. Hey. The main
headline is it made you feel vibro and yeah, it
made me feel vibra, like I really dug it. Yeah,
and we are quoting you as saying it makes pain
pills make me feel vibro. Yeah. We gotta get some merch,
some like wraps, some like a spandages that just say vibro. Kyle,

(01:18:25):
you can't understand the kiwis you work with. I have
trouble sometimes, uh like they because it's like like they.
Sometimes I find it hard when anybody speaks like this,
but I find mostly Australians and Kiwis are like umble
yeah across the board. That never works for me, and
it's just like what the fuck is going on? But

(01:18:46):
it feels like I don't feel like I need a
lot of English speaking people that mumble that bad. But
I could also be doing that, like when I'm just
speaking like tired, I might be equally as frustrating to
anybody else on planet Earth, you know what I mean
when they're talking to you like that going on? Are
they speaking to you? Are you listening to like a
conversation that they're having. Are you spying on people? I know?

(01:19:08):
I feel like you cannot Like when someone from a
foreign English speaking country, because that's what we're talking about here, right,
foreign to us, foreign to us, but in English speaking
country and they're speaking in their their English version of
English to someone from their same country, I feel like, Yeah,
I I always have a hard time understanding fucking anyone

(01:19:31):
that that isn't uh from America and even sometimes have
you talked to people from Philly? It's also confusing sometimes
over there too. Yeah, I never under the Fresh Prince
of bel Air theme song, I'm like, what is he saying?
Like your homes smell later, smell smell what later? Makes

(01:19:52):
no sense? Tell me you got that order? There it is?
We had that well, don't be afraid to bust it out, man,
you know, man, that truly strikes a chord in my
sense memories. Its perfect. Did you guys ever rob anybody

(01:20:16):
belind for alcohol? Rob anybody for like people's houses. Sure,
you'd go to a liquor store or rob a convenient
store or rob a right aid on Harbor. I actually
remember that ship from when I first met you, Adam,
like you had a whole like you were like fucking
flagrant and didn't give a dude. I was ready to

(01:20:37):
go to jail for a for a thirty rack of
keystone light. That was true, flagrant, What were you doing?
You would just grab it and walk out. I would
just grab it and walk the funk out with two
packs and that's why you're my fucking best friend, and
then just walk out. And they had a security guard
and he'd just be like uh. Or I would walk

(01:20:58):
into the freezer, sex, this is what your cases, and
then just exit out the emergency exit. The alarm would
go off, and I just had a car there waiting
for me, and we would that it would explode in
the background as you walk away. Absolutely, in hindsight, I'm like,
this is the that was the most insane thing I've
ever done. I'm not like a I would have bought

(01:21:20):
it if I could have bought it, but I couldn't have.
I couldn't buy it, so I had to rob me.
I went on a fucking family cruise to Mositlaan Porta,
Viarda and um and Cabo, and I bought fucking pain
pills there too, and I put him in my jacket.
I got a big old bag. I got him for nothing,

(01:21:41):
put him in my jacket pocket. And as I was
walking back onto the boat with my family, they were like,
they patted down my pocket, and I was like, oh fuck,
your family did know the fucking the guys that were
like making sure you didn't bring anything in cruise control
and they found this bag of pain pills and they
took it. They just took it. They took from me,
and they took my name. And I did that ship

(01:22:02):
on the slide, like nobody in my family saw this happen.
And so I'm like, Okay, Kyle, that episode did not
get my pecker hard. I knew you were too vibro
on that trip. On that trip, dude, so I need
to talk to you. I was bombed because I was
like I couldn't get vibro. And then I like, at
the end of the trip, we were all waiting to

(01:22:25):
d board the ship or whatever it is, and they
called my name over the intercom They're like, Kyle newit
check come to customers, did you win something? And I
was like, and my whole family, my grandpa, my fucking
They're like, what's going on. I'm like, Mom, come with me,
because because I needed I knew I was about to
get fucked, and so I like I on the way

(01:22:46):
over there, I talked to my mom. I was like, look,
I I smuggled some pain pills back in. I have
some pills that I thought were going to get my
pecker hard. But she's a sweetheart. I know at dinner
last night, you were way too vibra. All right, No,
she was cool, man. She honestly like vouched for me
and got me off the hook. And I just wasn't
what did she vouch for you? Meaning like, oh, he

(01:23:08):
needs pain kills? This guy's No. We came up because
I was dating a girl that needed pain pills at
the time, and so we came up with a plan
that was like, look, I'm gonna say that I got
this from my girlfriend, and my mom actually might have
not even known that. I might have been lying to
her and saying like I got this from my girlfriend,
can you please help me? I didn't know it was illegal, Kyle,

(01:23:29):
I didn't like the podcast. Is it illegal? I think
statute limitations player, It's all good? Uh, what was the
show where like this, Oh is the Brady Bunch? Right,
we're like the oldest son like actually like got it
together with the mom, right, had sex with the mom?
Like they had like a thing. Right, wasn't that a thing?

(01:23:50):
What if that's ever happened? Wait? Is this Brady Bunch?
Is this an episode or is this off? No? This
is like behind the scenes, like Greg Brady was like
Mac in the late season in The Brady Bunch got
weird fun bro. Yeah, they jumped the shark and all
of a sudden, the oldest son started like necking with
his mom. Greg is lifting up that little ducktail she has.
So you're saying that the oldest son in The Brady

(01:24:13):
Bunch actually actor, the actor actually fucked the mom. You
think that that's the whole I think they like they
always wink winked about it to like interviews because they're
like the rumor is and they're like, I don't know,
did we even By the way, even if they're winking
about it, it's so tight. Yeah, it's awesome because there

(01:24:33):
the Brady Bunch. Also, I kept it in the plastic. Now,
I feel like the time they're like, take it out
of the plastic, hand me, you would hand them the
high I would just told me to do that, And
I was like, I would just I wouldn't give them
the whole wallet. I would just hold up in the
plastic and hold it up to them and they and
if they asked to take it out, I would just leave.

(01:24:56):
I'd go because while it had the little window in it,
also there was velcro on the wallet. So I'm a
a true teenager that has to be like hot topic
wallet and Pokemon, like, hey man, how about them huskers.

(01:25:18):
I do this ironically anyway, I'm reading this list, I
was like, you can get true steroids. I was thinking,
maybe we all I bring them back and it's like
a uh, you know, kind of a fun thing that
we do on the podcast. We all take steroids for
a month and see who has the biggest arms and lemons. Friends, No,

(01:25:41):
we see who's got the smallest mouth. Yeah, whose nuts
shrink the most. We'll all measure our nuts and then
at the end of one month of taking steroids, re
measure our nuts and see who shrunk the most will
post and we'll have people vote on who has the
smallest nuts. What do you mean you measure them? That's
not like a no no, no no, I do vote
vote no no no. We measure and then we have

(01:26:02):
people vote on like cuteness or like cuteness of the ner,
or we have people guestimate how many wrinkles we have
combined in our scrow? Is that a real thing? Steroid
shrink your balls? Is that real? Like the real thing? Well?
That's is that real? Band? I don't know? So what

(01:26:24):
are we gonna do? We can't do that because our
show wasn't we go clean? Yeah, we gotta go so
squeaky clean that people are like church guitar Kirk Cameron style. Yeah,
we gotta go Kirk Cameron style. Dude. Yes, start making
some Christian movies. I would love to pivot to be
very Christian. I would love that. I can see that.
For you, there's always like a super Christian guy that

(01:26:45):
kind of looks like you, that's wearing like a scarf,
like that's your kind of rocket a bandana around the neck.
Just for COVID purposes, Yeah, for COVID, for COVID. Even
though everybody just has proper masks now, and it's proven
that the bandanas don't it that well. But but you
got it's a covid look. And I feel like there's

(01:27:05):
Christian guys that look kind of like you with an
acoustic guitar and every church in America, So I see
that's an easy pivot for you. We rolled the Winter down,
no joke, fucking Immediately, Someone's just like and I'm like, God, yes, yes, pake,
I D And we went into the back of this

(01:27:28):
this like dollar store, and they made the fake idea
right there. I took a photo. They fully made a
fake I D get to yah. I quickly got my
first idea head shot. It was pretty a two fer
our gentlem package and the dick pills you have to
buy for your entire wedding pot. The dick pills you

(01:27:50):
have to buy for the entire I mean, it will
be fun when I buy us all dick pills and
make us take them one hour before the ceremony. That'll
be a Sarah Moon be your all week, dude, I'm dead.
That will be tight, just to fucking and we're all
wearing like kilts, like those super white those white dude,

(01:28:10):
weddings are like, we're wearing kilts. Steve doesn't have anything
on underneath. Fucking that would be so funny if you
like orchestrated the outfits that we had to wear so
we couldn't protect our boners and then spiked our fucking
spiked us with boner pills. This is a wedding and
we're all standing up there like, fucking uh, protect your

(01:28:33):
boners twenty Margarita's make sure you lick the salt. Okay,
you need us lick the salt. And he made us
wear these linen white pants. He made us wear these
mendies so beach wedding. It makes sense. He really wanted
us in all linen everything. Bro, are you are you

(01:28:53):
hard right now? I've been hard all weekend. Something that's
made my peck or harr it's hurdy, won't go down
and hurt hurt. I just want to be flacid. The
strip tacos must be an aphrodisia because I want to
funk everything. Don't get it twisted. Also, every you go

(01:29:15):
into a church, into a megachurch, there's a thousand of
little fucking bead eyed knees running around, you know, Prais Hey,
I'm sorry, we haven't so twisted about that very specific.
Don't get it twisted. Why wasn't he or on Blake
saying he looks more Christian? I don't find that to
be shitting. I didn't realize that was an insult. Yeah,

(01:29:36):
come on, then I did have a twisted I guess ship.
Yeah it is. It's it's a little bit of an insult.
Last time I checked, reading scripture is pretty darn cool.
Jesus Blake is ready for this. Oh God, I know

(01:29:58):
the Lord has a plan and for me. Dog, Okay,
let's go. Let's go. Who's ready to Jesus on hot?
Let's go? Owls versus rats. You're so dumb. Hey, I've
had a pet rat before, I've had a pet rat.
I would never allow an owl into my house. It

(01:30:19):
wouldn't want to be in your house, thank you, Blake. Really,
even when they pull up the feathers, you can see
how jacks they are. Dude, you can't trust an owl.
You cannot trust absolutely not. That's what makes them savage.
You're gonna stand by that, and owl will fuck your girl,
and I will fuck your girl. Rats. Man, they'll scamper off.
What the fuck the Owl said, owll fuck your girl. Owl,

(01:30:42):
I will suck your girl. You're going opposite, like a
fucking rat is somebody? Who is something? Who would suck
your girl? Dude? The owl will give you wisdom. There's
a joke, there's a rat will tell on you. A
rat will be a bit and tell on you, and
owl will fuck your girl. No, awl you dude, No,

(01:31:02):
if you Owl doesn't trick because if you go up
to Owl and you're like, hey, man, was this somebody here,
He's just like who And you're like, Okay, I see
what you're doing. Was my girl was somebody? Or not? Who?
Our fuck your girl? I'll girl hashtag don't leave me
alone with her? Because our fuck? Did you fuck my girl? Who?

(01:31:26):
Did you fool with my girl? Who? I will? Did
you knock knock? Who's there? Owl? Our fucking girl? Girl? Who?
And also I'll say, like I know, like eagles are beautiful,
majestic creatures. I and I also enjoy when I see
an American bald eagle uh in a tree. I'm like, WHOA,

(01:31:50):
that's pretty legit. But those guys are uh fucking eagle maniacs.
Like those guys are eagle maniacs. You've got it a
little twisted because you're I think you're thinking of like
the majestic ones in the mountaintops. But there's bald eagles
that kick it in the swamps of Florida that are
held down the earth right there. Like the people like

(01:32:10):
grimy dudes. They they just eat pythons. There's nothing majestic.
Do you like snakes more than birds? No? I don't.
I don't like snakes either. Do you like snakes more
than rats? Uh? Or rats more than snakes? What's cool
is they all eat each other, all three of these things. Yeah, exactly.
We got a cool cycle happening here, dude. Right. I

(01:32:33):
used to go to church so much. My grandpa built
a church out here, Like that was his thing. He
built over. You went so much that he built it.
You know what, I'm gonna build you a church, kid,
you know what. You like it so much? He built it.
That's the last time I was in the church was
for his funeral. Like I was in the sanctuary that
he built, and it was like whoa, Like this is

(01:32:54):
two generations removed and it's just like he put the
stained glass up. He built a sanctuary for people to
worship in and I'm telling dick jokes. Come on, man,
you're you're staying in glass. Like, it's just like so weird.
It sounds like his life was pretty boring, honestly. Not
to shoot on your grandpa, but your life is sucking
way better. I don't know, I don't. I mean, it's

(01:33:18):
it's just two different ways of thinking about what your
goals are in life. Yeah, it's just like, you know,
like your life better. I vote, I vote for Kyle's life.
He was a hell of funny dude, Like he just
did his his act hell acclaim. You know, can he
text Adam Sandler right now? Et? He said the funniest
thing to me. He also had a great joke that
was just hilarious when we went to Mexico and we

(01:33:42):
were Port of Viarda and we went in and we
were all swimming, and then we were wearing swim shorts
and you know how swim shorts have the net in
it and stuff. We went into the bathroom and I
was standing in one journal and he came in and
steered at the next journal and he was just like
he just mumbled into himself and he's like, where did
I Yeah, that's pretty good. Grandpa bid for the wind,

(01:34:03):
and I was like, that's funny because like small cocks
and your family. All right, it was great. Let me
know what path I should be running on for the
next ten years. Embraced the small dinks if you got it,
make fun of make fun of it, you know, yeah,
embrace them all, embrace Yeah, it's all good. That's a
good one's all good. Yeah. It was hilarious because, I mean,

(01:34:27):
nobody made small cock jokes at that point. Everybody was like,
oh it might dick so big, might dick so big everybody. Yeah,
it was it was all big Johnson jokes. Everybody's wearing
the T shirts of the door with a huge dick,
big Johnson. Yeah. And I was like, Grandpa, that's like that,
that's and that's when you decided to get into comedy.
You were like, wait a minute, small cock comedy, small

(01:34:50):
cock comedy, Grandpa, I could make a career out of this, Grandpa,
And he goes, I bless you, my son, and then
father son, holy spirited you, and then screamed, let's but
I don't like caged birds. I don't think that feels right. Yeah,
I mean I have one. I have one. This is

(01:35:10):
why it's hitting you a little hard. What if it's
a chicken. If it's a chicken in the coop, we
can we can roll with that because, well, chicken, at
least you're like the cockle doodle do you in the morning? No,
that's a rooster. Okay, Well then yeah, chickens. I like roosters.
But chickens are delicious. They make eggs. Yeah, no, they're well,
they're spitting out some eggs, so you at least get it,
like you know, you you something. Eggs don't come out

(01:35:32):
of their mouths. I know they're spitting them out of
their their butts, right think it's like, wait, that is
a good question. Do eggs come out of chickens ass?
Or is there like another butt hole? An egg is
a period just so you know. Okay, but girls don't
have periods out of their butt hole? Wait do they?

(01:35:53):
How often do egg? Do they? Is there only once
a month? Or how often do they give an egg
every day? So they have a period every day? Yeah?
Well it's it's like a non active period. It's well, hey,
and uh, feel free to text us the truth about
this ship that we don't know about. No, no, I'm
pretty positive that egg is a period that is not

(01:36:17):
being fertilized. That's tight. You sound like one of those
astronauts that gave the female astronauts fifty thousand tampons. Who's
like red might be enough. But Kyle, you didn't answer
my question. Do they have two butth holes? Do they
have an egg butth hole? And I don't know how

(01:36:37):
many holes they have? Sorry, I don't know. Vagina a vagina? Oh,
the egg is coming out of their vagina? Well, yeah,
that's the period. They're not shitting out eggs. Where is
a vagina located on a chicken bend over? I'll show
you that. What do you mean where is it located?
It's basically in the same spot as you probably thinking.

(01:36:58):
It kind of the same spot that you would think, Yeah,
if you maybe drop some acid get in there, it
would be super vibrant. Buttholes looking at you and then
something I don't know. There has to be There has
to be animals that have like Dickson vaginas in really
weird spots, right, I mean like Star Trek where he
kicks the dude in the knee and it turned out
to be his nuts. That's like when you kick at
him with his lap hong. I don't remember that, but

(01:37:20):
I like that. That was a classic What was that?
That was the famous Star Trek movie what's it called
Rapicon where he's like fighting the giant dude and he
kicks him in the knee and he goes down hard
and he's like, what the funk is Like, that's where
his testicles are? The change? Did we write Star Trek?
What happened? I think we should. Yeah, I want to
go check out some Star Trek now. That just good

(01:37:43):
heroes and icon. That was one of my favorite bits
on on set when we would like, uh, hey, have
a good scene and then we tap each other on
the knee and then that person goes, ah, the middle
of my dick you just hit because the end of
its way down there, bully. I had fun on that
show too. Yeah, that show was a lot of fun.

(01:38:04):
I really enjoyed that show. Guys, there was a long
time ago. You know we're done shooting the show, uhcause
I don't know. I was talking about something with Chloe
uh and I was like, yeah, like two years ago
when we started, and she was like it's more two
years ago, and I'm like, yeah, how long has it been.
It's been four years now, four years since we've been
doing on the show. What was it like August of
or something. I think something like that or October November.

(01:38:27):
At the end of it was like October or November. Yeah,
maybe the beginning of November. It was harvest season because
y'all were smoking my weed on the roof. Real we
it was harvest, baby, want to talk about that ship
was so sick. You guys smoked my first crop of
weed on the roof and the last I was mad
high for that last scene of Workaholics. Yeah, that was hilarious. No,

(01:38:48):
I was higher. I was hiding that And I quied,
was that did you say that? Is that in the
show where like this is real weed? No, this is
real weed? Something like the credits that was Blake saying
that Blake was going and this is real weird, and
I'm like, I know, we were in Yeah, we're like
acting and he's like, it's real weird. I'm like, I know,

(01:39:11):
obviously it's roll. We'd we were the characters rolling huge
crane shots. So good, so good, perfect ending, dude. Yeah,
for sure, it's real, like how it always has been
for every scene of the show Man this is real,
so I'm glad we did that.