Black Infertility with Coach Gessie & Lakisha Randolph

This week, Tamika D Mallory and Mysonne the General first kick off the show discussing the heatwave in NY, the importance of taking care of babies in extreme weather conditions, the need for mindful parenting, and the support for Congressman Jamal Bowman.

Later in the episode, they are joined by Keisha Randolph, the founder of Black Fertility Matters, and Coach Jessie, a health activist. Keisha shares her personal journey with infertility and her mission to provide support for women dealing with infertility. Coach Jessie discusses the importance of access to support and resources for those struggling with infertility. They also explore the factors that can cause infertility, such as fibroids, endometriosis, age, stress, hormonal imbalances, and vitamin D deficiency. The conversation highlights the need for autonomy over one's own body and the dangers of legislation that restricts reproductive rights. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm Tamika D.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Mallory and it's your boy my son in general.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
We are your host of t M I.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, Motivation and inspiration.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Name New Energy. What's up, my son.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm blessed. They got a heat wave like heat.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Waves been before. They said it was a.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Heat but it was a heat wave.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
I'm telling you, man, I have been traveling from state
to state and it is extremely hot, extremely hot. Out
of the country. The sun is peeling your skin.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
In the country, the heat.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Is on Hell. The heat is on Hell.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
It's hot. It's hot for sure.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
And hopefully folks who are out there are taking care
of themselves and staying hydrated. You know, I've made this
commitment to drinking lots more water in a day, and
I see a difference.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
I feel different. Certainly, is very.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
A whole fleet wherever you are, folks who are listening
in that you're taking care of yourself, eating your fruits
and vegetables, drinking your water, and staying in cool places.
And you know, I was watching the other day a
young couple had a baby out and the baby was
in the stroller and they were pushing the baby and

(01:20):
the sun beaming down, and it was a brand new baby,
maybe two months, and I was stinking to myself, wow,
I wish that we weren't living in a time where
as a woman by myself, I can't say because if
you'd been there, you had been there, or anybody else,
even another female, I'd have been like, sweetheart, you know,

(01:42):
please put something over that baby. But me by myself
and this couple, who knows they might go crazy on
me and start trying to fight me. So I'm like,
I don't want to be, you know, intrusive. But what
I did do is I kept looking. And as I
continue to look and look and look for a few moments,
it was like, oh, you know, they realized, or she did,
because she was looking at me kind of like why

(02:04):
you know, maybe it's a cute baby, but I was
looking out of concern.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
And mothers kind of know.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
It's like if you out with your kid and your
kid is like being bad and you see another mother
just looking with that look, you'd be like, let me get.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
My ance on me and sit at you know, let
me show you that I con.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
So she covered the baby, and I want to say
that babies can't tell you they cold. They can't tell
you they're hot. They can't say anything. So we have
to be overly mindful in these conditions.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Not always, not always, not always.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I argue with my granddaughter, my granddaughter's parents all the
time about needing her need in a sweater.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
They don't. It's a different thing.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
They like you bugging because I'm extra So you know,
I come from the generation that you would have a
snowsuit on in the fifty degree weather. Jenna's was laughing.
That's the generation I came from. You would you will
have a snow snow suit on in the fifty degree
weather because they would be saying it's too cold.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
You're gonna wear a scarf, You damn sure.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
We're gonna have a hat on your head until it's
about sixty degrees, no doubt. That's how I was raised.
So when I see them, they just be hanging about
and just chilling. But my granddaughter is so whoa she
just she's busy and doing She ain't got time to
be cold, noneless. Nonetheless, I'm always saying that. So I'm

(03:32):
just saying it's a point of reference as we each
one teach one. Please during this time, make sure that
you are being extra mindful of the babies. Like I
see people putting like little not ice, but you know
they'll wrap up something cold and put it on the
baby's neck so that they don't get dehydrated. Because people

(03:53):
be in the hospital with their babies, babies screaming all
night long and they and a part of it is,
you know, milk, sitting out too long, and heat. It's
so many things that's probably just shouldn't be having kids
when you're young, because the.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Job is but that's when you're supposed to do.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Actually, now when you're now, when you're nineteen and twenty
years old, most need to be about twenty.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Five, but think about twenty five, but we.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
And that's early thirty. Really, I guess I know the Bible,
I have.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
A conversation with fertility and all these things. So maybe
we should ask.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
That no, no, the body your best physical time to
have children. I think it's even before you eighteen years old,
exactly like your body, because I'm talking about your your mentality.
It is a lot of stuff to do. Like now
that I see my granddaughter and her parents, that's a

(04:49):
whole new shit. I'm telling We talk about this all
the time. Looking at how Nassan is so involved with
you know, how he deals with his son and them
as good great parents.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
For Kassan, this is a new generation.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
When we was younger, at twenty four to twenty five
years old, I don't know what was happening.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
If it wasn't for my parents.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
I just why I was in jail so.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
So death define.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
It gets back to the point of why at twenty
years old we do not need to be having children.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
And you get to be about twenty five to twenty six,
you can do it.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
But it's still very, very very hard. The opportune time,
even though it's not physically, the right time is about thirty,
but then that's when you deep in your career.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Well, anyway, we're getting ready to talk about, like you said,
fertility and all of that, and now the it's shit
from late and ruin. So let me tell you my
thought of the day. You know, we've been supporting Congressman
Jamal Bowman. Hopefully at the point that you all see
this interview, he has won his primary as the congressman,

(05:55):
the continued congressman of District sixteen in the Bronx. And
this is not really so much about Congressman Bowman. But
one of the greatest challenges that we faced as we
stood with this brother and will continue to in all
of his endeavors, is this idea that there are people
who really believe in their hearts and mind that Vladimir,

(06:22):
which is a man who ran against him a seventy plus.
I think he's seventy one, but he's seventy plus. You're
old white man who was the county executive in Westchester.
So there are people who know him, pastors and other
things that he's done in the community.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
People know him, right.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
They thought that he was better than Jamal to be
a congressman. Now I'm not even here to talk about
the difference because again, hopefully at this point we beat
him and that's the end of the story. But it's
possible that at the point at this point next week,

(07:02):
we haven't. So I don't know that that thing. But
here's something I do know about the how we as humans.
And I say we because all of us have some
part of this hypocritical nature. We just we are hypocritical
and conflicted beings just in our makeup. Because we could

(07:24):
sit and say we don't want to see you know,
violence in our community and then watch all the BMF
and power possible and love it. We can say we
don't like sexual promiscuity and then be outside so my
giddy sex seeet. So this is just the nature of humans,

(07:46):
like it's it's and I don't even know. Maybe the
word hypocritical feels hard, so I will say we're conflicted individuals.
But here's what scares me. Some of the same people
who support Vladimir the seventy one year old white man
are the same folks who are anti Trump. The same

(08:09):
people who are saying we need a Congress in place
that will block the Republicans, God forbid Trump becomes president.
That won't work across the out too much to our
detriment with people like the Marjorie Tail of Greens, who
are completely crazy and will always compromise everything that we're

(08:30):
trying to get done that has to do with our wellbeing. Right,
they would say, we don't need to have these older
people going into Congress at this point in their lives,
because we need to have younger, fresh people. Like we
saw what happened with Ruth Bada Ginsburg same people. She

(08:51):
was older, she probably should have retired while Obama was president,
which meant that he would have been able to appoint
someone in her position on the Supreme Court and we
would not have lost that seat.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
Right.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
These are the same people who have this logic. They
don't want Trump.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
They don't want people who are in Congress that are
sort of aging out, which gives other that makes them
vulnerable for people to run against them.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
I mean, they don't want people who will do too
much compromise.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
And that look like they're too much in the middle
of the hole. They want them to be strong on
our issues. This is what they say out their mouths.
And then they decide that it is better to send
someone who is in the retirement age of his life
right to Congress over a younger man, a younger black

(09:44):
man who is an educator, by the way, that they
could get into Congress, and he has at least twenty
five to thirty years of still being young, still being
on the issues. He's already showing that he is a
very progressive and has a liberal mindset and is exactly
what you need when you got a Marjorie Taylor green

(10:05):
Maga mentality in Congress, you need a squad mentality also
to help combat that.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Now, I'm not saying if you had a.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
Situation where these people were just running at the same time, right,
they just knew people running for office, and you decide,
we know the county executive, we respect him, we respect
some of the things that he's done. We're going to
look at him because we know him better than we
know Congressman Jamal Bowman. Jamal Bowman is the incumbent, he

(10:39):
is the current congressman. So you're saying you would rather
send him home a young man, a young black man
who has years and years and years before him that
he can be there to make good in Congress.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
So you could put a seventy one year old white
man who is taking money from the very people.

Speaker 5 (11:01):
You say you don't want, the same people funding Trump,
the same people who are funding a genocide or at
least fighting like hell to ensure that the people of
Palestine are wiped out.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
They okay with that as far as I can see.
That's how I feel. Right.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
These people are giving him money, the same GOP donors
that are funding Trump.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
And funding the campaigns.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Against How the hell you out here marching speaking against
the discontinuance or the destruction of DEI and then you
want to support a candidate that's taking money from the
people who are funding the campaign against DEI.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's not making sense to me.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
None of it makes sense. And we always will vote
against our best interest, right, And that's one of the
major things that I've been saying lately that how did
they trick us into believing that people and the very
people that we say we against are better for us?
Like this is this ship is like you just said,

(12:07):
it's really mind but it's mind blowing to me. Like
every time I look at these situations and we vote
against we vote against our ultimate best interests.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
Well, no, we don't vote against our best interests. You see,
this is the problem. We most of the time don't
vote at all, not not not all of us.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm not saying that, not all of us, No, I'm not.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
I want to make it very clear this is the
issue because I don't want there to be a gray area.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
The issue is.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Too many of us don't vote at all at these
times when we need to be.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
But it is an interest, it's our personal win.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Y And that's the problem, not that it's not our aer,
our best interest, our elect exactly.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Then that's what it is. And if you're talking about
the collective, were talking about what's going on in our communities,
communities of color, where we we are experiencing the brunt
of all of the legislation, past the fucking judges that
they putting into all like we are experiencing it firsthand.
If we're voting against the things that are going to

(13:18):
change those against the people who are intentional about saying, now,
I'm gonna make sure these communities have the proper school
and they have the funding for the programs needed in
the communities. I'm gonna make sure that the elderly are good.
I'm gonna make sure the health insurance is good in
these communities. If we're voting against those people because somebody's
gonna give my my program a couple of dollars, right,

(13:39):
somebody's gonna fund my my personal thing a couple of dolls,
somebody's gonna make sure that my business keeps running or
the corporations that I have one, then we are fighting
and losing battle. And that's what's happening. And that's that's
when you look at these organizations that are funding the
people running against Jamo Bowman. They are focusing on a
personal in of the people, like okay, you want some

(14:04):
funded for this, Okay, We're gonna make sure y'all get.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
This, you know.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
And I think that there are some people who really
have rationalized this, like they really believe that they're doing
the right thing somehow because of whatever. And I I
really it made me go even harder because I'm like,
I know that there is no common sense to this

(14:27):
right here, right, And as pissed off as I have
been with Hakim Jeffries, who I love dearly as a brother,
but I am so upset with how he has just
like it's like Israel just completely owns him, right. Just
hurt my heart to see this, even he endorsed Jamal Bowman,

(14:51):
it don't make sense to me of incumbent. You don't
people incumbents are incumbents for a reason.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
And let me tell you to speak to your point
about or to speak to the point about the middle.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Of the line, like how you get these older especially
democrats in there, and they're more like, you know, want
to try to work with everybody and all of that.
The man said it to Jamal where he damn near
called him an angry black man. He said, you can't
just stand around yelling at people on the stage. You
got to figure out how to work with them. The

(15:29):
only times I've ever seen Jamaal Bowman yelling at people
was when some shit was going down that you need
to be yelling.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
It was that crazy.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
They don't want the energy. The reality of the situation
is as we get older, we just get more said
on our ways. We less on conflict, right, we like
the lion that's going to just the reality some of
us are. You have some elder who still have that
fight in them, but then some are just beat up, right,
some just say, you know what, I want to figure

(15:58):
out how to work with you, even though even though
I realized that the compromises not in the best interest
of us all the way, right, And then you have
young lines like Jamal Bowen, it's like, nah, there's certain
things on conference a stop. They gotta be somebody. It's like, no,
this ship is a full stop, right, and that's what
we need in leadership, Like that's what leadership is supposed

(16:20):
to look like for us. And you know, unfortunately there
are so many people who don't want conflict. They want
they want to say you got to be able to
do it this way, don't they They want the least
you know, they want the least amount of resistance, and
that's where we are. And unfortunately, you know, we have
we we we we sat on two sides, especially in

(16:40):
our political parties. Is that there are likely you say,
the moderates, and then you don't those they want to
call radical. But I don't think. I don't think accent
for people to stop killing innocent human beings is radical.
I don't think saying hey, don't fund, don't send money
that taxpayers from America, you know, are paying to fund
killing innocent people, and not fund the school systems, and

(17:04):
not for fund our own health. Don't tell us you
don't have insurance for elderly that they're dying at higher rates,
but you have money to continue to send to fun wards.
I don't. I don't think anything is.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
Radical that's not radical.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
And in fact, one of the critiques that I've seen
online from people against Tama Bowman is oh, well, he
voted for this or he voted against.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
This, and that.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
Sometimes he's actually been one of those people that knows
how to compromise. He's not a he's an actual, a
smart elected official with a smart man, just stop it.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Shout out to Jamaal Bowman, we love you man, and
that brings you to my music spotlight. Today. I found
this young artist in the song Touched Me. His name
is ce five C five five. He's a young artist
and he's from Oakland, and it was a song called
letter to My Son. You know, he had a son
in his arms, and it was since it's you know,

(17:59):
in the spirit of the Father's Day. We just passed
Father's Day. I just wanted to give him a shout out.
A lot of his music, it's very touching, it has
a message. He's one of those artists who's building his
following organically and it's based off just good music. Man.
So shout out to C five five. Let us keep
doing what you do. Let it to my son is dope.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
All right, Well, let's get into our guest. Good conversation,
lots to learn. Check it out. Our friends have.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
Joined us again too.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
Well.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
First of all, our sister Keisha, how ya, Coach Jesse
has been with us a number of times, and so
it's really good to have y'all on our show because
y'all been doing everybody else this show to talk about,
you know, what has recently took what recently took place
as a family that I think is incredible, beautiful, amazing,

(18:53):
And I see Keisha loa Keisha. That's how it has
already just you know, helped you to walk into your advocacy,
which I knew was going to happen for you at
some point, and it's beautiful to watch that now.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
So first of all, let me just introduce you all properly.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
Lakeisha Randolph is now a black She is the leader
of the Black Fertility Matters community.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Okay, let's get that straight.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
So I feel an organization on the way, something big
buildings and a lot of things I can see.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
In the future.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
And she Keisha has had to have IVF has also
now an egg a donor.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
You are have received eggs.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
So I know Coach Jesse's gonna get all of this
language clearness when we all learn.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
I'm learning, I'm learning.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
All the things.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
And then Coach Jesse health activists and founder of the
Detox Now but she's also our big sister that keeps
us healthy, keeps us mentally stable. And we don't listen
like we should, but we appreciate you, Coach.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Jesse, love you principal.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Thank y'all so much for joining the show today, and
I think it would be great for us to hear
from you, Keisha about that story, what took place and
how all these other incredible women got involved.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
Well, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 6 (20:29):
Yes, I am Lakeisha Laurel or Latisha Randolph or Keisha.
I am the founder of a support group called Black
Fertility Matters. I wanted to start the support group for
women who have been on the road and who have
been dealing with infertility for as long as I have.
I've been dealing with infertility for over twenty five years.

(20:51):
I've had two feiled IVF cycles. I'm currently on the
show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta season eleven, about to
be season twelve, telling my story alongside of my sister
Yandy Smith, whom volunteer to donate her eggs to me.
So I am the I am the receiver, she is
the donor. Yandy Smith is the donor. I am receiving

(21:13):
her eggs to conceive have my own child. So we're
on our journey to motherhood. I wanted to provide a
support group for women who may feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxiety,
who go through an emotional roller coaster dealing with IDA

(21:33):
and infertility soul. This is where my sister, alongside with
my sister Yandy Smith, introduced me to Coach Jefse who
is a health and wellness coach. I've also detoked with
her many years ago. And Coach Jesse introduced me and
Yandy who to our fertilities doctor, which is doctor Daniel Layne.

(21:54):
Unfortunately she had to go, but she is an amazing
fertility that have been working with me and Yandy on
our journey or my journey to motherhood.

Speaker 4 (22:06):
So that's a little bit about our story.

Speaker 6 (22:08):
We wanted to and Coach Jesse and doctor Lane wanted
to also join the Black Fertility Matter to help educate,
support and provide resources for the black and brown community.
I just felt like I wanted to continue to tell
my story.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
I didn't know where to start.

Speaker 6 (22:24):
I reached out to LaToya Bond, Yandy Smith, Coach Jesse,
doctor Lane and said, listen, I need to tell my
story because it's not only gonna help me. It was
a time where I couldn't even talk this much about
my process what's happening without me crying. So now for
me to be able to stand up here and say
I'm providing a support room for myself and other women

(22:45):
who are going down this journey.

Speaker 4 (22:47):
It's amazing. It's amazing.

Speaker 6 (22:49):
I just thank you guys for telling my story and
having Coach Jesse, doctor Lane, and Yandy Smith joining the
Black Fertility Matters team.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Well that's powerful. Well how long have you been trying
to conceive a child?

Speaker 6 (23:04):
So I've been literally trying to conceive a child for
over twenty five years. I've been dealing with fibroids and demetriosis,
and then I've went to a fertilitis who you know.
My gyn said, Okay, you cannot conceive due to age.
Once you're over forty, your egg count becomes low. And

(23:25):
then because I have fibroids and in demetriosis makes my
fertility even harder. So I've been dealing with infertility for
over twenty five years and now I'm called that can
conceive healthy embryos.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Coach Jesse, you know our audience, our listeners, are no
stranger to your story. But I think in the context
of what Lakeisha has been dealing with, it would be
great to be reminded of your story and how you
got into this work and then if you could give
us some insight on and you know, what was the process,

(24:01):
what was your planning process to support Lakeisha?

Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, you know first of all, Lakesha she read she
just my heart went out to her when I learned
her story, because I battled in fertility that was paused
by five roids. I battled bibras for thirteen years and
infratility pause was five. It's one news and that percipisode
of what I call my million dollar baby journey, where

(24:28):
I had five IVF cycles, the individual fertilization cycles that
Keisha was mentioning, and the first one I had miscarriage.
Three failed IVF cycles after that, and even after we
did conceive more daughter, FIEF cycle had major rest certain situations.
Whatever even told me actually because of the terminating my

(24:50):
pregnancy at twenty one and twenty one weeks, because in
the journey, I was either having fibriid survey or having
IVF forstandards, because the fibrids kept coming and here they
were more back and this literally threatened the life of
my baby. Where they said that it was from my
hostile environment. Won't you know when we're now, thank God,

(25:13):
my journey even though my heart stopped, nothing would follow
on queer day. I do have my medical babel when
I you know, when I learned after my journey, my
story when she went you know, it went viral after
us a published foot follower. That's what actually connected me
to the fact that this was actually something that we'll

(25:36):
do on her. It was and telling my story is
actual connected medication because who were she can be heard
and walktually on Breakfast Club. And that is when they
reached out to me and we started to to look
at how we could support her.

Speaker 7 (25:51):
Number one, have her just loving up overall, that's number
one because when I did, she was dealing with advanced
by boiling already beny triosis, right, And so for me
that that look looking at what you know and so
always about what we can do, what's in your power
to do it?

Speaker 4 (26:09):
And then you know, even then I was like, my
my thoughts are how to bring out for us to
think about parenthood outside of a box. And many times
I remember teachers, you know, years long ago, you might
have a loop of the pregnancy. You know, we're able
to they do you know now Alice might think about

(26:31):
the baby and for many years back and forth, but
she wasn't.

Speaker 6 (26:36):
For many years, I wasn't right there motherhood. I needed
my motherhood to look normal.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
But now I realized that's not normal for me.

Speaker 4 (26:48):
Everybody everybody's is different. And I'm so proud of you,
not just doing looks work for yourself, but how you
are doing it more to provide support for people were
literally all over the world who are struggling with this,
struggling with it in silence and in silence, right in
isolation and in silence. So once she told me, I

(27:11):
remember writer, and when you told me, he said, you
were telling your story. I said, I'm here. Whatever, let's
do this. We're going to do this together, because too
many of us don't know about the access to support
that you're available. We don't know about the resources. We
don't know about the black fertility specialists. We don't know
about all the things that are available to us and
in our power to actually shape our family journeys.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
You know, I've known Keisha for a long time. She's
always so happy, and you would not know that she
was dealing with this journey. I mean, when I'm listening
to you, it sounds like you was dealing with levels
of trauma, stress.

Speaker 6 (27:47):
Trauma, depression, sadness, shame, not feeling adequate as a woman,
that my body cannot produce what it was made to produce.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
A child.

Speaker 6 (27:57):
So all of these emotions I've been holding in for
a very long time, right, So it now it's time
for me to tell my story, heal my story, and
heal other women. So yes, we needed to and it's
very important for us to come on here and talk
about IVF and what's happening now with IVF and this vote, because, uh,
women like myself, we need IVF, we need we need

(28:21):
in vitro and fertilization. Because for me, with this whole
Alabama Supreme vote saying that a frozen embryo is a child,
and uh, if you whoever destroys this embryos, you're destroying
your liable murder death.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
It's murders.

Speaker 6 (28:39):
I mean, I personally don't believe that in embryos is
a child yet, but to each his own. So it
just takes away from your own individual beliefs and rights.
If I want to have the right to freeze my
embryos later, let me have the right, like they should
not have that right to call.

Speaker 4 (28:59):
For women who are suffering what do you think like
And it's a slow walk. It's a slow walk to
actually taking away ibs for people. Right, So there are
people literally I don't know if you have to hear
of a condition called as aspermia. Right, I'm going to
use the school's very very open lyrics option. So Tamika
and my son, have you guys ever heard that that

(29:20):
first of all, male fertility factor infertility actually plays the
same has the same impact as female factor issues.

Speaker 8 (29:29):
Have you ever heard?

Speaker 2 (29:30):
I never really heard it. I mean, you hear about it,
but it's not really something that's focused on because men
we suffer in silence, like, man, ain't I say you
know I can't make a baby?

Speaker 4 (29:39):
Right you?

Speaker 2 (29:40):
You've always assumed it's something else going on. You're not
really even assuming that isn't because of you?

Speaker 4 (29:45):
Right? Right? That's that's important. And then guess what who's
the face of infertility? Women? Right?

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Women?

Speaker 4 (29:53):
So then now let's go back to the fact that
if you don't know that your husband or your partner
is the problem, now you're dealing. You're not even getting
access to the real solutions. So there's an example where
a man can you know, be be able to satisfy
you sexually with no issues, meaning you know, becomes no issue, right,

(30:16):
and do you know there could be no sperm in
that ejaculate. It's called as you sperm in. Now, a
person who has that condition cannot conceive a perfirm idea.
It's not possible because they have to go into and
many times if there is sperm in the sack but
not coming out through the penis what's happening now is
they have to have a proceiper to remove the sperm.

(30:36):
That first, we can never have ideas.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Let me, let me just get this straight. There's some
there's no fluid that comes out.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
Fluid, No, there's fluid comes out, but there's no sperm.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
But it just doesn't it doesn't contain sperm that.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
Can as correct.

Speaker 9 (30:51):
Yes, that is a that is a condition, and there
are to That's just one sample, right, one example of
a way that that person can never conside apart from
IBO right.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
There, and then there are people who have many other issues. Again,
I look at you know. IVF was a gift to
me because there is a dominant kidney disease in my family. Okay,
it is. It's it's called polycystic kidney disease, and fifty
percent of every embryo this disease. But because we did IVF,

(31:26):
we were able to test the embryos beforehand. All right,
up to seventy five percent of people who have this
condition end up on dialysis, and it killed so many
people in my family. I was diagnosed with it. But
thank god, because of detox living, I'm able to be
a testimony that you know, my doctor's like what right?

(31:46):
But I didn't want my child to have to deal
with it.

Speaker 10 (31:49):
And because of IVF being able to test the embryo
ahead of time, that condition will never be it will
never be present in my line again, my daughter, it
never has to worry about passing that dominant disease in
our family.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
That is a gift. That is a gift, and you
can't do that apart from mind yet.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
You know, first of all, I don't even understand why
someone who doesn't deal with these situations, right, who can't
even fathom the reality that couples and families go through
with this situation and with these you know, diagnosis, would
even want to have any input that would natively impact someone.

(32:30):
I don't even understand that part.

Speaker 4 (32:33):
I think it's control. I think it has to do
a population control.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Absolutely, I definitely believe that.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
But I want to ask you, Keisha, are you currently
in a relationship.

Speaker 6 (32:41):
I am currently in a relationship, yes, as of five months,
but try into the five month I was not in
a relationship, and was it hard?

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Like was that situation? Did you did this play a
factor in your mind in your relationships or did the
fact that you weren't able to conceive cause any kind relationships? Well?

Speaker 6 (33:02):
Prior to me being in a relationship, I felt nervous
to get into a relationship because I knew that the
male would want to conceive a child and or with
any mail I would be with, they would want to
have a child with me, right, So, and I knew
that that wasn't an option for me. So it was

(33:22):
I was apprehensive of getting into a relationship. But now
that I'm in a relationship and he knows what's happening
with my body and infertility, and if now he wants
me to use his sperm, right, but I've already went
through the process of a process of going to a
sperm donorm.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
But yes, so it goes both ways.

Speaker 6 (33:44):
Yeah, he wants me to use his sperm now, So
that we can con see well at least have his
demon or DNA, but I will I will still have
to get an egg donor.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Right, so his sperm would have to go into the
eggs that you now have in storage and then you
and then the egg would be put inside of you
and you would be trying to conceive that.

Speaker 4 (34:06):
Way, that's absolutely what's happening.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
So so Coach Jesse.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Talk about this stigma that if you can't conceive, you're
doing something wrong, Like it's what you're eating, it's you know,
your past life, who you slept with. You know, I
know an old wives tell used to be when I
was young. They would say, if you have too much
sex when you're young, you're not gonna be able to

(34:33):
have a baby when you get older. Like the things
that we passed down, a lot of stories that are
told to us to try to like keep us from
being promiscuous or whatever. And so therefore people grow up
again with the shame that Keisha spoke about not not
being able to talk about what's happening because they think

(34:56):
they did something wrong to cause this infertility issue on themselves.
Can you talk a little bit about that.

Speaker 4 (35:02):
Yeah, you know, there are so many things that are
passed on generation wrong because of fear. Right, it's driven
by fear that, like you said, we don't want our
children to have to make pregnancy. We don't want them
to end up what we say, you know, ruldening their lives,
which is you know, neither here nor there. But the
biggest issue is that, you know, I think what we

(35:25):
have to do is reclaim number one our overall priority
of our health, because we have to think about our
health and opportunity together. I think that there has been
so much demongering where it's like, oh my god, don't
do this because you get pregnant, where women have done
so much put them on birth control twelve years old,

(35:47):
and it has affected their health negativity, okay, and then
it has become an obstacle to their fertility down the road. Right,
instead of saying, hey, you know what, we want you
to health you so that one day down the road
you want to have children, you're going to healthy in
order to give yourself. So really is changing the paradigm
that's necessary. And there's also such a need to actually

(36:10):
make fertility conversations a healthy conversation, right that actually that
being part of your overall life's plan and planning for
it because right now there's so many women who they
want to focus on, especially in our generation, they want
to focus on their career. They want to focus on
during the ball. But guess what their fertility is on
the it's on, it's on the right, on the back brond.

Speaker 6 (36:35):
Doctor Lane would say, what if you're over, if you're
up to up until what thirty two years old? Five
thirty five, thirty two thirty five, think about having a
child and if not, yeah, thirty two, start free free them,
start freezing up, and then continue on with your your
life as far as your careers, your job.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
Yes, what not that whole time, except of embryo being
a light, which you know, I'm gonna put my dog
out there in the hunt at embryo. How can an
embryo be a life? If that's the truth, that every
embryo that was implanting would grow okay, it doesn't grow automatically.
If that is case, there would be no failed ivy

(37:17):
outside because they would always grow right. But they don't
always grow right because life doesn't happen the way I
see it. Life doesn't grow until it doesn't happen until
actually talked in the womb and it starts to actually grow.
That's my first friend. I agree with you. So ed
reason becomes a problem. Egg freedom becomes a problem if

(37:39):
embryos are thought as you see I'm saying, because now
after third, after a certain number of years, like I
think at forty, they freeze your action and they freeze embryos.
They don't even breeze eggs, right because they actually need
you to fertilize them, gets firm and fertilized in order
to breeze embryos. So it is the reason this is

(37:59):
so for its because it is a.

Speaker 8 (38:01):
Slow block to totally controlling your fertility right, and and
fatility specialists can only they they if they can't if
they can't breeze the embryos, and all of these.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
These roadblocks are put up, it's gonna start shutting down
our IBM centers, right, it shuts down idea finis So
going back to your question, Snika, I hope I answered it,
which was that there's a lot of fear mongering that
has been put in our thought battery and the wind
even raise and and not enough FULTI thinking about what

(38:34):
needs to do to actually have healthy fertility, healthy libido, healthy,
actual reproductive health period right, because there's been this whole
idea of trying to control things, but now we realize, no,
we need to have a positive view of our old
all reproductive health, which includes happy periods. And we talked
about that before, right, that they do having very very

(38:57):
uh you know, positive perspective about our cycle and not
you know, looking at them as monster that they're supposed
to be that and we're supposed to suffer and in silence.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
And in Chaine, that was pretty much kind of thegister
with the question I wanted to ask because there is
a lot of fear mongering about you know, what causes
infertility and all those things. I just want to know
what are some of the things that do cause facility
other than you know, being running your family, Like, what
are some of the things that causes infertility, and what

(39:31):
are some of the things that the healthy processes that
you know need to be taken so that women can
avoid infertility women and men exactly My apologies.

Speaker 6 (39:42):
Well, for me, my infertility was caused through fibroids and
and demetriosis, and then age factored and once I became
over forty, right, so and then coach Jesse would say,
it's what dieting and environ lifestyle and life and lifestyles.
And for me, honestly, I would even my mental I

(40:06):
would say even abortion, streas or infertility and stress. Like coach, yes,
you can add on, but those are the things for
me that I feel caused my infertility.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
If you really want to be on it. Reproductive health
issues obviously, such as vibrants because variance in drom on
endemy feels it's.

Speaker 11 (40:28):
Our factors absolutely infertility, But we have to go back
to what actually our root caused factors of those issues,
such as you know, stress being one of their number one.

Speaker 4 (40:39):
Okay, then it is such a thing as actual hormonal imbalance,
that is drivers of things like fibroids, drivers of prints
like indim feels, et cetera hormonal balance where echidnes is
too high in your body and project thrones too well.
And that's affected by everything from the products that we
rite shout out to patients creating non doxic you know,

(41:01):
male polity. Everything from the makeuping to be, to the
to the deodorant, to the toothpaste, to the food that
all affect our home normal balance. Right, and then the
one that's huge in the black community is viting. My deficiency.
Vitamin deficiency is a huge factor when it comes to

(41:21):
things like bibords and to be slosis because the number
one normal that our body uses to fight Bible exactly
divide in the demomal and because our melanin, as people
of color, our melanin blocks the organ of the sun
that the body uses for convert and create deeply hormone.
Because it blocks it, we need to be supplementing. That's

(41:43):
literally why you know we create our prevention at at
the detox now because like you know, the top three
things that people come are viting to the deficiency, hormoral balance,
and chronic inflammation, right, and the third thing I was
going to say was chronic. So when you look at
those things being present, then they're things like age, like
what you thought about, right. When it comes to women,

(42:04):
men it's not really age for their parabodies create sperm
all the time for year. That's why you meant a
baby severally eighty years old. But women our eggs, all
the eggs do ever that have we were born with
them and at thirty five we plummet a number of eggs.
Everything like the rustings right, and that after age, the

(42:25):
age we need even more. But when it comes to
the other factor is youneral age. And when it comes
to men, it things like smoking. They are factors lifestyle factors,
going back to the men, because men's the quality of
the nerves, canot and carriages. It's connected with in control,
all right, And that's everything smoking, from drinking to you know,

(42:49):
hot tubs that posted about this week to be and
hot tubs and jaques where it overheats the sperm to
weed is a major attend at you know, on quality sperm.
The lifestyle factors, these are things we have change.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
So based upon what you're saying, there are things we're
doing wrong. To go to the original, it sounds like
there's some things that we are doing to cause our
infatility issues that.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
We didn't know that they were connected to. Yes, absolutely,
but they were not. They were not. They were not
they were not seen as Wait a minute, these are
things that I can actually change in order to improve, right, right.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
So there are some things that can be genetic, some
things that you know could be like they say, in
your family.

Speaker 4 (43:43):
But well guess what's in your family? Lifestyle? Lifestyle life,
same that.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
We have and all the things exactly, and we know
fibrates and all that is certainly something that, based upon
our life choices, can happen to absolute women from generation
to generation, because I certainly know that in my family
fibroids has been an issue for a long time. And
as I mentioned to you before, when I was younger,

(44:09):
I was in the cycle of bacterial vaginosis east infection,
bacterial vaginosis east infection. Trying to figure out what was
going on. I ended up going to a series of doctors,
like to Columbia University. I mean, I became a study
for I stopped having sex completely because you know, first

(44:31):
of all, it was uncomfortable, and then also just trying
to figure out what the issue was. And I went
to a doctor who was not in my insurance plan,
my own doctor. After all the work that she did,
she was frustrated. She didn't know what else to do,
especially again within my network, and so she sent me
to a woman who.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
I had to pay cash. And I was like, lady,
I don't care.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
It could be whatever my whole for the rest of
my life, I could be paying you freedom not the solved,
but this problem I wanted. And God rest her soul.
This doctor met with me, uh, and it took her
one day. She took blood work today and the next
day she called me and said, like most of my

(45:17):
black women clients, you have zero vitamin D.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
It wasn't in my system at all.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
You know, do you know how many things you could
have been dead from cardio, so many issues because of
vitamin D.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
And she put me on Vitamin D.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
Put me on, made sure I had some iron in
my system as well, because I didn't have that as either.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
And I it was three days. Three days I began
to feel better and then maybe in the next two to.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Three weeks I was healed completely and I never ever
had that problem of those current infections again in my life.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
It was all about vitamin D.

Speaker 4 (45:58):
Makes sense, But go back to you know, vitamin D
is huge when it comes to your immunity, right and
when it comes to your body's ability to fight off infection.
So yeah, it is one of those states. Every black
person should be taking D three, Every black person should

(46:19):
be taken D. Every single black and brown person it'll
be taking D three, okay, yes, and you and ask
your doctor for what high normal your level should be.
Don't let them tell you it's normal and it's more
normal because as black and brown people, our bodies need
more in order to overcome everything we're fighting. Just from
the client information as the impact of basis of rebuild

(46:43):
every day.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
I want to let you go, Coach Jesse, and also
U Keisha, thank y'all so much for your patience with
us today, for being with us, and for being committed
to getting this information out to our listeners and everyone
who needs to hear both Keisha's story and the way
in which you, as a health and wellness expert, continue

(47:06):
to focus on black women. Coach Jesse, I want people
to know how they can find you, how they can
get involved with your work. But I wanted to just
leave with this point about my medical diagnosis during that time,
and this has now been I'm forty four, so this
has been about twenty years ago. I was about twenty
five years old. What scares me is that I went

(47:28):
to Columbia University. Doctor at Columbia, my own doctor sought
after this doctor.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
People were lined up.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
You couldn't even get an appointment with her because she
was actually a very good doctor.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
G Wyan.

Speaker 3 (47:43):
I went to all these places, other doctors looking online,
calling aun tie them, trying to figure it out, and
no one had the information about a simple thing like
vitamin D. That's scary to me that I ad to
the top those prestigious places all the way down to

(48:03):
qual and t teeing them in the hood like yo,
you ever had this issue like what's good? And everybody
was telling me about Minusta was giving me. Minusta was
making me feel like I was like I needed a fire.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Hose on fire, terrrible. That did not help me at all.

Speaker 3 (48:22):
My issue was not coming from, like you said, from
having you know, sex or whatever. My issue was coming
from inside.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
But I mean, nobody knew what to tell me. So
it's very scary.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
And I hope that now because of course we weren't
in this big internet age and you know, things were
a lot different. But I hope that now we're in
a situation where black families, mother and father who have
daughters and sons are not treating our health, our reproductive

(48:57):
health as if it is a taboo conversation. We can
actually say the things that need to be said to
teach our kids about our boys about cleaning their penises properly,
our girls about their health as well, because what that is,
what in my judgment, has been so much of an issue.
You can't bring it up. I don't remember, you know,

(49:19):
you just can't bring it up. It's just Grandma is
not able to travel about your VIJJ.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
Yeah, it was very different day. But it's a different day.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
You know.

Speaker 4 (49:28):
When my daughter had her cycle, we called all the
family members on FaceTime one by one and said, hey,
she got a pario because I was changing the paradigmage.
I said, we're going to celebrate it at something that
is a right. It happened that it says now that
we need steeper in her life and we're going to
delibrate it that she doesn't ever.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Canlche Thank you, thank you, Keisha, Thank you so much.

Speaker 6 (49:51):
Drives for listening to our storytelling a story fighting against
IVF and these Republicans who are going against IVF and
what they believe and they should not have the right
to women's body medications. Please continue to get the word

(50:11):
out and continue to talk about IVF and infertility. If
you guys for your guests, Black Fertility Matters Team every
Thursday for on my IG Live that's at Lakeisha Laurel
every a PM, we have a live discussion on infertility
in the black and brown community. We're trying to spread
the word and give resources and educate our community on

(50:34):
what's out there, what's available, different votes that are going
against iv You have different doctors that are here to
educate and help us. Please you can reach me at
Black Fertility Matters ww dot Blackfertilitymatters dot com or on
ig it's ig Black Fertility Matters. Also at Lakisha Laurel

(50:57):
on ig coach Jesse.

Speaker 4 (51:00):
And tell them where to find us. So, first of all,
you know, we have to continue to spread the word
and we have to advocate for and contact our legislators.
So if I am Coach g E S s I
E on Instagram and if we comment save IVF on
any of my pots, you will receive a d M

(51:21):
with the information on how to contact your legislator, what
you can do, what's in your power. And then also
if you look at the support on your continued journey,
you know how we can help you control of that
as well. Invite either take our free foods at rgepom
dot com and so you can learn you know what
you think within your team for Portfolia and to wabble up.

(51:43):
What video was our very first off with the wall.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Well, we want to thank you coach Jesse for always
being the friends of the room and you know, and
always bringing that information and informing us about things that
we don't know about, because I'm very much informed now.
And I just want to salute you Keisha for you know,
knowing you for years and you being in the background
and just you know, always having this spirit and now
using your passion and using your experience to be an

(52:09):
advocate and be on the front line. You know, it's
beautiful and I just I commend you cry so prod
you almost made me quiet because I'm looking at you
and I'm like, Keisha is really.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
Taking you know, what's in my life, the pain of
not being able to have a child, but to still
have this face of everything's okay.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
Is it takes a toll on you, and it takes
a toll on your heart.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
So you know, this is a process control of you
taking control of your life. You take control of your narrative.
And you are a face for so many women who
are are sitting there and they're going through what you
once went through. So your bravery and your ability to
come forward is going to really change this world in
the narrative around what this looks like. So we appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
You will ear more than just your own.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
You will birth your own and you will birth an
entire generation with the work that you're doing.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
So thank you so much. God bless y'all. We love
y'all so much, and thank you, thank you, thank you,
and thank you again.

Speaker 6 (53:15):
Thank you guy so very much.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
Well, listen, there's a lot to learn about that topic,
you know. First of all, like you said, Keisha, she's
so amazing. And I think the thing about Keisha is
that for her for a long time, especially since Yandy
has been a celebrity, she's been a support system and
a backbone, you know, absolutely for the kids, for the family,
for the businesses, for everything that Yandy has built. And

(53:42):
I think that in and of itself is kind of
like it's a lot of pressure when you're trying to
help keep a family going because nobody, I don't know
any celebrity that would say that they're in the position
that they're in without the support of like a lot
of people and a lot that goes into keeping them going. Yandy,

(54:04):
you know, has a family and businesses, several businesses, and
she's on TV. Takes her mother, her father, her sister
and Keisha and others to be a part of that.
And of course you know her husband and so I
know what it is and understand from her perspective what

(54:26):
it is to be a backbone play.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
To play that role.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
And then now having to come forward or deciding to
come forward with something that has been impacting her as well,
and for Yandy to step up and immediately say I'm
willing to support you know, I'm going.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
To give you my eggs.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
That to me is big because now it's reciprocal. It's
like something that I needed. You're there for me as well.
So I think it's a beautiful story.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Oh it's such a beautiful story. Man. Just knowing Keisha
and knowing what she does behind the scenes important she
is to Yandy and just the machine that she has
there and to see her utilize her own personal experiences
and her pain actually and change it into purpose.

Speaker 6 (55:16):
You know.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
The way she is now is just it's actually motivational,
you know, and it brings me to my I don't
get it. You know, everyone should have autonomy over their
own person, Like I just don't get why there are
people who actually want to pass laws that would affect

(55:37):
someone like Lakeisha right from being able to have a baby,
from being able to, you know, have a family, to
make the decision about the bodies and the eggs that
they have, Like these things are very strange to me. Like,
I think, if you don't want to abort your children,
if you don't want to freeze your you know, your eggs,

(55:57):
you don't want to freeze your embryos, you don't want
to do those things, I think you have every right
not to do those things. I just don't understand why
we need legislation that prohibits someone who might need to
do these things to do it. And it really, it
really mind boggles me when you when you hear people
talk like they should have the right to tell you

(56:19):
what to do with your body. Like it's very strange
to me. And it's very weird that we have so
many people who have that mentality, right, and a lot
of them are in positions of power and in government. Right,
the fact that we actually the fact that we actually
have to have this conversation that we have to fight
for IVF, Like, what do you mean this is your

(56:41):
personal body.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
Right.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
That's like actually telling someone who you can have sex with, right,
all of these things, because that's what it comes down to.
At a certain point, they'll be able to tell you
when and how you conceive a child, right, who you
conceive a child with, what time you need to be
all these things. Is just basically taking your own human

(57:03):
autonomy from you, your own human rights from you. So
it's very strange, man. I wish we'd get to a
point in life where people start respecting people's personal space,
people's personal opinions, people's personal choices. I would never be
able to have a child, right, I would never know

(57:23):
what that feeling is to carry to carry it, you
have to literally carry and actually give birth physical birth
to a child. You know. I don't know what that
situation is. I don't know all those things that come
with that. So I don't think there should ever be
a time when I should be able to have a
voice that could impact that for a woman, you know.

(57:45):
And so it's just very strange to me.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
You know, well, I think that first of all, every
all things lead to politics, everything, and the bottom line
is that there is a segment of the population which
is ultimately this.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
Is like Handmaide's Seal. If you haven't seen Handmaid's Sell,
you should probably check it out, because really it's playing
out because they are a segment. There's a segment of
the population, which is basically white men, older white men
who are concerned about the declining numbers of their race.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
That is what this is about.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
That the Latino population is fast as growing, that at
some point this country will be more brown than white.
And of course we as black people, they always been
trying to stop us or find ways to cap our childbirth,

(58:45):
the growth of our communities, and the dominance of our communities.
And therefore, and on top of all the things that
you see, right, they're passing these laws to try to
impact women's rights, to choose the autonomy for our bodies.
They're doing all of that, but they also are going

(59:06):
into their churches, going into their places of worship, their organizations,
and everywhere else, spreading a message of have more children
to white women.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
Right, they want white women to have more children. They
are trying.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
If you ever go out and just people watch, just
people watch, you will see white women who have a
baby walking a baby in nostrolla and they're pregnant.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
And that is not just something that's happening. It's not
by happenstance. It is literally becoming baked into their cultural
existence that their past. The message is we are declining.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Our race is declining, especially as there's more integration of
black people white people on others, the melting pot of
people having children, getting married, their race is declining, and
therefore they are.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Attempting to find ways to one.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
Limit our ability to have children, to slow down the
browning of America.

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
Said that already.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
The other part of it, though, is that they are
trying to stop their women from having abortions because white women,
like every other woman, are very concerned about our careers,
concerned about our finances, economics. We don't have the type
of money most people that it takes to have multiple children.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
And so they're you know, so white people are.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Facing the same thing, and they're saying, hey, listen, it's
not the time for me to have a child. I'm
going to law school, I'm climbing the corporate ladder, I'm
doing you know, all these different things, and I'm not
ready to have a child.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
And so with that being said, this is intentional, it's
it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
Happening because people just woke up one day and their
beliefs are so strong. No, it's intentional, and it's coming
all the way down from different perspectives. They change the courts,
they have gutted Roe v. Wade, they have passed other
legislation that makes it more difficult. I think it's the
Dobbs decision. They have put things in place to from

(01:01:25):
a layered perspective, prevent this country from changing to be
more diverse. So that is what we see happening. And
for people who are sitting around toying with the idea
of electing Donald Trump to presidency or staying home, what
you are ultimately saying. And you know, let me just

(01:01:46):
tell you this. I have been as you know, we
travel the country. I talk to black men all the time.
I'll stop a black man in the corner store and
get into conversations. And one of the things that I
keep hearing, I see it online and I hear it,
and I deeply hear it that black men are frustrated
with this narrative that they hate black women and that

(01:02:11):
there is so much of a divide, a division between.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Us, and in fact, there are a lot of black people.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
You are one of them of a black man are
who are very intentional about challenging that narrative and trying
to figure out where is that coming from?

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Is it social media drama? Is it real? Is it
happening in your households?

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
Where exactly did this narrative that we are so divide
it come from?

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
And why does it continue to spread? Let me say this,
if it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
Is not a part of your political process, thought process,
your political ideology, your political moves, to consider my bodily ationomy,
my right to choose, my right to be able to
get medicines like IVF drugs, birth control, and the things

(01:03:04):
that I need to be healthy and also to be
able to produce. If you make a decision in this
election and elections two fourth that does not consider me
as well and what we as women are experiencing, then
who is helping to create the divide? Because that is

(01:03:26):
something that we will be watching. I talk to so
many of them, and I asked, what's your main concern?
The man said, economics, period. He said that he doesn't
care about policing, he doesn't care about women's choice, he
doesn't care about any of that. And I asked him,

(01:03:48):
as a black woman when I hear you say that
you don't care one about criminal justice and policing, that
scares me because now what I'm hearing you say is
that it's okay for them to blow up our children,
shoot them, put their knees in their necks, do all
the things that they're doing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
You talk.

Speaker 3 (01:04:05):
He didn't say that's the second or third issue. He said,
it's not an issue for him at all. All he
cares about is making money, which I still have not
figured out where in the Republican platform you'll see the
line items of how you're gonna make more money. I
don't see that, but maybe other people do. And then

(01:04:25):
I said, so now you don't care about that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
That hurts me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
That scares me because our young black boys and girls
need the protection of a system that at least we
can challenge it, at least there is a process. Okay,
because Donald Trump is talking about he wants these people
to be what's the word have immunity.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
They should be able to kill us and not be challenged.

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
There should be no system for holding law enforcement accountable
from his perspective, and him either, and him either. So
that's one, But then we get down to something deeply
personal and that's how I was made, how you were made.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
My body needs protection. As a woman. I have the
sanctity of our community.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
Without me, we cannot continue to grow. So we die
if we can't take care of our health, or if
we can't say I'm not gonna have three babies when
I'm young, because guess what, I don't hear these same
men saying they gonna stop having sex if I can't
get birth control pills to control the amount of times

(01:05:29):
that I get pregnant. So some of this stuff that
we're talking about, I get it. There's a frustration, but
we're just throwing spaghetti at the wall, or trying to
be andrey for the sake of it, pissed off with
elected officials, to hell with Biden. There's all of these
different things that we're feeling, and yet we're looking at

(01:05:50):
a threat that's in front of us that is extremely dangerous.
And I've not heard anybody give me clarity on what
you wanna do when I can't get birth control pills,
can't get IVF treatments, can't go to certain medical facilities,
and they're talking about making it murder if I freeze
my eggs, not just saying they thinking about it, they're

(01:06:13):
passing laws in states right now to make that happen.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
Well, with that said, I mean, there's not much you
can argue with that.

Speaker 7 (01:06:20):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
I think we as men have to understand that there
is a real threat to women's existence.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
Right and so our existence.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
I mean, but when you talk, when you talk specifically
about the IVF and abortion and reproductive rights, there's a specific,
directly intention to stop women from reproducer and you, like
you said, ultimately it's our existence.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
It's because women can't have a man or woman without
a woman.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
So if we and if we're not intentional, if that's
not on our top priorities, then we can't ask why
they saying this divide. So with that said, I get it,
you know, but I don't get why people think it
makes sense for us to even have any saying it.
So at the end of the day, you know where

(01:07:14):
I stand. I'm always gonna stay with women. I'm always
gonna stand for a women sometime. Anyway that brings us
to the end of our show. We appreciate y'all. Shout
out to coach Jesse, Shout out to La Keisha, you
know for sharing it, sharing her testimony, coach Jesse for
also educating us as she always does. Make sure you

(01:07:35):
follow us at Tea and my Underscore show on Instagram.
Dm us, let us know how you feel about the show.
Give us some topics people you want to see, tell
us you love us, tell us you hate us. We
know you love us, and keep us the number one
show in the world. Tm min is the number one
show in the world. How we appreciate you and we
love you. I'm not gonna always be right, Tamika d.

(01:07:55):
Mallory's not gonna always be wrong, but we will both
always and I mean always.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
We pay a yoni, that sour yone.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
That's soon.

Speaker 10 (01:08:09):
That's so.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
Check out the video version of TMO.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
Every single Wednesday on Iwoman dot TV.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
That's how we own it.

Speaker 4 (01:08:19):
Wo