July 16, 2024 • 35 mins
"They pushed me into the middle seat. And then another guy put a bag over my head. And when he put this bag on my head, I understood, that's it."
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
All eight episodes of The Die For are available now
to bench absolutely free, but for ad free listening and
exclusive bonuses.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Subscribe to tendorfoot Plus at tenderfootplus dot com or on
Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Warning, the following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual
assault that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners.
Discretion is advised.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
There was like one main commander who was the general
of the whole state. Call to the receptionist of the general.
I said to you her, I have some information about
the case. I need to speak with the commander. She said,
(00:56):
when can you comment. I said I can in thirty minutes.
She said, he will be waiting for you. Put the
files into USB. I took the USB. I came into
the main building and I walked through the security check.
(01:23):
I came to the reception and there was a woman
and she said, he's waiting for you. I walked in.
I said hello, and he said sit down. I sat
(01:49):
down in front of him and he was sitting looking
at me and he said, it's a very unusual situation.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
What do you have?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
And I was scared because he was in the power
just to throw me to jail and usually if you
do something wrong while you're working and then you go
to jail, somebody will eventually murder you. And I said,
I've been working for this department and my commander he
(02:27):
sent me to that mission to infiltrate criminal gang. And
while I was working on that mission, I found out
some information and my partner who've been working with me
on this case just being killed. And he said, yes,
(02:53):
I know, what do you have? And I said that
I found out some documents which have the name of
my commander and this photus which is stating that he
has connection with the criminal gang. And I gave him
(03:19):
these documents and he was looking at this like for
a very long time, and then he.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Put the us BBCH.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I gave him to his computer and he was really
studying it and he said to me, tell me everything
you know from the beginning. Almost like an hour, I
was just telling him the whole story from the beginning.
And then he said, I heard about your father. I
(03:51):
used to know who is here. And he said, such
a pride that daughter of such a great officer sacrificed
your life for the mission, for the work to serve
the country. And he said, I thank you for your service,
(04:13):
and since you've done your mission successfully, I want to
send you to the promotion. I would recommend you to
be sent abroad. For you, it would be better not
to be here. It would be risky for your life.
I said, like, what other position do you mean and
(04:35):
he said this would be strictly FSB working abroad. And
I said, no, I want my freedom. I cannot do
this anymore. I don't want to work here anymore. And
(04:56):
he said, well, it's impossible. You think that. After trainings
and after all these investments into your education, do you
think you just can say like, sorry, I'm tired and
I just want to leave. Look at your dad, he
served his country all his life. How can you just
(05:18):
let him down so much? Said I don't want to
let him down, but I just I can't.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Do it anymore.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
And he said, well, you can take a break if
you want to, but then a couple months when you
will go right and you will rest and everything. I'll
send you to a very good profession. You don't need
to deal with criminals anymore. There will be much better targets.
(05:54):
And when I was walking out from this building, I
felt like I needed to get out so fast, so fast.
I ran out of the stairs and had turned left,
and I saw this big tree outside, and I remember
I just stopped and I hugged the tree and I
(06:17):
started to cry. I cried so much and so strong.
I was scared, and I felt relief. I came home.
(06:39):
I wanted to speak with Vladimir, and he texted me.
He's like, i'll see you soon. I texted back, yes,
I'll see you soon, looking forward, and I was preparing
myself to explain him about what was happening all this
(07:00):
time and the way I met him. He thought, if
I will tell him everything, maybe it will change his mind,
and maybe we can escape together to some other place
without all this darkness and crime. I came downstairs and
(07:28):
I saw the same car and the driver, which I
know for so long. He came outside. He took my
hand like that, he opened the door and he pushed
me into the car. And that exactly moment, I understood
(07:50):
that he knows, and I understood that I'm fucked.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
I saw.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
The three guys, which obviously I know and they know me,
but at that time they were not smiling and they
were not nice to me. They looked at me with
very angry eyes, and they just pushed me in the
(08:35):
middle of the seat. And then another guy he put
the back, the back from where they used to put potatoes.
And when he put this back on my head, I
understood that that's it. I said, it's a mistake. Wait,
(09:02):
I need to explain to you. And the same guy,
who am I feeding my foot? Which I always cook
for them? He said to me, shut the fuck up.
We were driving and I just could hear sometimes they
(09:22):
would speak between each other quietly and like where is he? Okay,
he's coming. And I didn't cry, and I was just
staying silenced inside of my brain, and my head is
just I need to speak with Latimmer. I need to
(09:44):
speak with him. I need to speak with him. Eventually,
they stopped the car and we arrived to somewhere. I
could feel the fresh air and the smell of the trees,
(10:04):
and I understood that we are in the forest. And
the guy just pushed me out of the car. I
fall on the floor and he just like took my
hand and just started to drop me. And I felt
(10:26):
that my neck, my shoulders are getting hurt by them
the sticks of the trees. I felt that my skin
was like scratched. The bag was still on my face.
I heard another car stopped. It was bad because I
(10:52):
heard that voice. The voice I was scared that time,
fucking bitch, bring her to me. It was the voice
of the of the best friend of Vladimir, who saved
his life, who now was ready to kill me like
(11:16):
his fucking hero, like he found a traitor and now
with Mike killing he would become the hero of the
fucking gang. I felt desprid in his voice. The guy
who dragged me was just dropped my hand. I sat
(11:42):
on my knees and I felt someone with his feast
hurt my head so strong that all my body just
fall so hard that the bag all out of my head.
(12:05):
And I have also something really hot was going on
my skin, on my face. And I opened my eyes,
and when I opened my eyes, I saw these dirty
black poods with the land and I started to look
(12:31):
up and I saw this cold and sharp posture of
this man who looked at me with this angry cold eyes.
These eyes. When it's like this is your last moments
(12:52):
of your life, then you just have to accept your
your destiny, because he is the one who decides if
he lets you to leave or would die.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
The following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual assault
that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners.
Discretion is advised.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
And I looked around, and I saw that all of them,
all these brothers, these guys who ate my meal which
I cooked for them, who laughed at my jokes, who
are telling me goodbye, sister, all of them now wanted
(13:58):
to kill me at that right moment. And I only had,
like one thought, they can dive without speaking with Vladimir
to tell him the whole thing. I just wanted to
speak with him, nothing else. And I looked at his
(14:20):
friend and I said, please, please, I'm baking you, please
let me speak with Vladimir.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Please.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
And he did this like.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
The first time in his life.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
So he did this face, which is like the sarcastic smile,
and he said, now, you whore, you want to speak
with Vladimir, You think like I'll let you, And he
nod his hand, and each of them they started to
(14:57):
hit me, but they dirty big heavy boots to my belly,
to my face, to my legs, each of them my brothers,
(15:23):
as they were saying this before, your sister always will
take care about you, right, Vladimir.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
She's always sister.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Now.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
They all were beating me, trying to kill me life.
I was trying to hold my I was trying to
hold my hands next to my face so they wouldn't
they wouldn't hurt my brains, so I would pitches be
(15:57):
able maybe to talk. And then he stopped them.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
He laid on me on the top and he said,
what bitch, now you will dry my cock?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
You feel that you're such a fucking whore. I felt
such a I felt his body laying on me stock.
(16:54):
I couldn't even move.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Mm hm.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
And he started to enter me with this painful and
couldn't scream, and he laid on me so strong that
his body that I couldn't even breathe. I just heard
that all of them was standing around me. All of
(17:26):
them was standing around me and just nothing and saying like, yeah,
come on, just like give her harder. What bitch, do
you like it? I need some time? It's okay, it's
(18:07):
still still hard.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
The worst was that when you feel like I'm not
doing this anymore, I'm not like I'm different, I changed,
But yet nobody listens to you, and they don't care.
It's just like you're the traitor and from them. They
(18:34):
never led traitors to leave. It's like it's imporcible. It's like,
you know, she's a mall, she's a male. They were
like screaming, and when he was raping me, he said, oh,
(18:54):
he said, I wanted to do it so badly. From
the moment I saw you, I knew you fucking mall
and knew that you some kind of like clever woman
or some clever like shit. He said, like you cannot
play me, and like that, you know, like he he said, like,
(19:15):
finally I got you. Finally, finally he got me. He
told me that this is the end. This is the
last moment of your life. He had these breast knuckles
(19:36):
in his fist, and when he told that, he punched
me from the side so hard that I still have
a scarf here. Then it just kind of crushed my
bone as well, so I have a lock of the
(19:58):
bone here too. I don't know how long was it
like going on. At some point I fainted. I just couldn't.
I couldn't handle it. But then I heard they were arguing,
and I my mind came back to me and I
(20:21):
just couldn't understand why I'm still I'm still alive. Vladimir's
called my phone all this time. He was waiting for
me as all this, he called, and he called, and
obviously I didn't pick up the phone. I couldn't. First
(20:45):
of all, he called to this guy, to his friend.
I don't know exactly what was the conversation, but what
I understood when they were arguing with each other where
they would tell she is the mole, She's the mole.
She has to be killed right now, like fuck that.
She had just like, let's fucking finish her hair. And
(21:10):
then another guy said, like, we can't just finish her hair.
He's waiting, like he will be fucking killed all of
us if you do it without his permission. He said
to bring her to him, and they were hesitating and
they were arguing, and the army friend then said, fuck it,
(21:36):
let's just finish her in front of him if he
wants it. And one of the guys came to me
and he pushed me. So was all bleeding. I could
even feel inside of my mouth my blood, my own blood,
(21:57):
and my whole body was in pain. And I already
used to be honest, like I just didn't want to leave.
It was it was already so painful that I just
didn't want I just wanted to be ended. I was
so tired and so exhausted, and I just wanted to
(22:23):
see Vladimir before I wanted to tell him.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
They pushed me into.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
The car like a like a just just a body
like all like almost like just they threw me inside
and I couldn't even cry or something, and I didn't
speak all my body was shaking. And we arrived to
(23:03):
his house. And when we arrived, they started to take
me out from the car, and he already was standing
outside and he said, with his sharp voice, bring her
(23:27):
to me now. And I couldn't walk, so they just
took me with my shoulders just like almost like walk
me inside. And they brought me to that dining career
where we used to have.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Tinners.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
And I fall on the floor and they all came
and they all started to scream, she's a fucking mole, like,
let's fucking finish her right now.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
You were ready to finish her, why didn't you let us?
Like what the fuck?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
And then his army friend he said, I have all
the evidences. Our informer said, she's the agent. They blew
up all the operations a couple of days ago. She
(24:31):
was involve in every single information, every single operation we did.
She's the one who made us lose many like kilosoft,
drugs and money, and she's the reason of all of
our problems. And Vladimir looked at my body and he said, out,
(25:02):
everybody will like give her to us, just let us
finish her. Then he said again out. I sat out,
and his army friend said wait. Listened like we need
to do all the this together. He said, I said out,
(25:27):
and everybody laughed. It was just me and him in
the room. It was just silence.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
For a while.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
He came to me closer, and he sat down on
the floor and he looked at me, and he took
my face and I felt his strong hands, and I
started to.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Cry with the tears of of everything from the first beginning,
from the first day I event to the military academy,
from the first day I took the oaths. He looked
at me, then he asked me. He asked me only
(26:40):
one question, only one, and the question was.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Do you love me? And I cried.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
And I looked at him. I said, yes, I do,
I do love you. Very much. He took my face
closer and he hold me and he told me, tell
(27:19):
me everything, tell me everything. From the beginning, I felt
blood on my coming from my face into my eyes
and my mouth. My whole body was in pain. And
(27:42):
the first time in my life, I told the whole
truth about myself, about what I knew, what I've been through,
about my childhood, and how I ended up being an agent,
how I manipulated him and planned everything and set him up.
(28:11):
And while I was telling him everything I knew, I
was crying. He was listening, he didn't say word, and
I saw pain in his eyes. And by the time
(28:31):
I finish my story, Vladimir told me his side everything
he knew, and it fit together like a puzzle. We
both came to understand together that my commander wanted Zadka.
(28:55):
It's a black cash money, the primary money drug trafficking
operations coming from Afghanistan. But Vladimir told me he was
already paying the bribe for the different businesses he had
to the general I met with. So my own commander
(29:21):
sent me to this mission to basically just get rid
of Vladimir. And when I was revealed to be a
mall the gang would turn against Vladimir for causing them
all these problems and chose a new leader. That was
(29:44):
his goal, because he wanted to install in the gang
somebody who will be loyal to him, who would pay
him the kickback from the drug business for the long term.
And it was the army friend. And when Vladimir realized
(30:10):
that his own friend, whom he trusted all his life,
betrayed him, it almost killed him. I told him, we
still have time, we still have a chance. Let's move away.
(30:36):
I told him that the general with whom I spoken
just before that, I said, like he told me, I
have to leave. He said, yes, totally agree with him.
You have to leave. He gave me the number of
one person in Moscow who supposed to hide me and
(30:56):
just help me out in the beginning, who like some time.
He said, you stay quiet for a little bit, don't
go anywhere, and don't do anything. I will give you
some telephone numbers of people I know in Turkey, in Greece,
(31:17):
in Switzerland. Because of my passport and everything, he said,
first you fly to Turkey, and then from Turkey you
can fly to other countries. And later I will come
and we will go somewhere together. But for now, I
(31:40):
need to sort out all the situation with my former friend,
whom I trusted the most, and I need to figure
out the whole situation with my gang. I need to
crown someone who will be able to take care about
everything I built. I can just let down everybody. He
(32:02):
gave me some money, and he said not to communicate
with anyone, even with my parents. He said to me
in the end, now you have your freedom. Now you're free.
(32:24):
And the driver, his friend, whom I never seen before.
He came like an early early morning and he put
me into the car and he drove me away.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
You've been listening to episode fifteen, chapter thirty two, to
Hell and Back.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
To kill you. I'm really sorry.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
I had to do that.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I could June did away home. I was hol and
my god, I got to my to you have. I
had to joy.
Speaker 6 (33:36):
Us?
Speaker 4 (33:36):
Is So what's.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
The Leah's story concludes in the next episode.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I didn't know what was happening, and I was just
in another world, and I asked you, what's happening, and
he said, like, I don't know a lot of details,
but she was murdered.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
If you or a loved one are a survivor of
sexual assault. You can visit rain dot org that's r
AI n N dot org or call one eight hundred
sixty five six or six seven three for free confidential
twenty four to seven. Support to Die For is a
(34:47):
production of Tenderfoot TV in association with iHeart Podcasts. The
show is hosted and written by me Neil Strauss, with
additional writing assistants by Tristan Bankston. Executive producers are myself,
Donald Allbright, and Payne Lindsay. For iHeart Podcasts, executive producers
are Matt Frederick and Alex Williams. Lead producer and editor
(35:08):
is Tristan Bankston. Additional editing by Miles Clark and Christian Brown.
Supervising producer Tracy Kaplan. Consultants include Nushin, Valiza Day, Chelsea Gooden,
and Jamie Albright. Artwork by Byron McCoy, Original music by
Makeup and Vanity Set, mixed and mastered by Dayton Cole.
(35:29):
Our theme song is Killer Shangli Law by Psychotic Beats
featuring Pattiamore. Special thanks to Aren Rosenbaub and the team
at Uta Beck Media and Marketing Aarren Siegel Becky Jensen.
The nord Group, Meredith Stedman, Rose Baruch and alex Vespustad
All eight episodes of The Die For are available now
to bench absolutely free, but for ad free listening and
exclusive bonuses.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Subscribe to tendorfoot Plus at tenderfootplus dot com or on
Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Warning, the following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual
assault that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners.
Discretion is advised.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
There was like one main commander who was the general
of the whole state. Call to the receptionist of the general.
I said to you her, I have some information about
the case. I need to speak with the commander. She said,
(00:56):
when can you comment. I said I can in thirty minutes.
She said, he will be waiting for you. Put the
files into USB. I took the USB. I came into
the main building and I walked through the security check.
(01:23):
I came to the reception and there was a woman
and she said, he's waiting for you. I walked in.
I said hello, and he said sit down. I sat
(01:49):
down in front of him and he was sitting looking
at me and he said, it's a very unusual situation.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
What do you have?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
And I was scared because he was in the power
just to throw me to jail and usually if you
do something wrong while you're working and then you go
to jail, somebody will eventually murder you. And I said,
I've been working for this department and my commander he
(02:27):
sent me to that mission to infiltrate criminal gang. And
while I was working on that mission, I found out
some information and my partner who've been working with me
on this case just being killed. And he said, yes,
(02:53):
I know, what do you have? And I said that
I found out some documents which have the name of
my commander and this photus which is stating that he
has connection with the criminal gang. And I gave him
(03:19):
these documents and he was looking at this like for
a very long time, and then he.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Put the us BBCH.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I gave him to his computer and he was really
studying it and he said to me, tell me everything
you know from the beginning. Almost like an hour, I
was just telling him the whole story from the beginning.
And then he said, I heard about your father. I
(03:51):
used to know who is here. And he said, such
a pride that daughter of such a great officer sacrificed
your life for the mission, for the work to serve
the country. And he said, I thank you for your service,
(04:13):
and since you've done your mission successfully, I want to
send you to the promotion. I would recommend you to
be sent abroad. For you, it would be better not
to be here. It would be risky for your life.
I said, like, what other position do you mean and
(04:35):
he said this would be strictly FSB working abroad. And
I said, no, I want my freedom. I cannot do
this anymore. I don't want to work here anymore. And
(04:56):
he said, well, it's impossible. You think that. After trainings
and after all these investments into your education, do you
think you just can say like, sorry, I'm tired and
I just want to leave. Look at your dad, he
served his country all his life. How can you just
(05:18):
let him down so much? Said I don't want to
let him down, but I just I can't.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Do it anymore.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
And he said, well, you can take a break if
you want to, but then a couple months when you
will go right and you will rest and everything. I'll
send you to a very good profession. You don't need
to deal with criminals anymore. There will be much better targets.
(05:54):
And when I was walking out from this building, I
felt like I needed to get out so fast, so fast.
I ran out of the stairs and had turned left,
and I saw this big tree outside, and I remember
I just stopped and I hugged the tree and I
(06:17):
started to cry. I cried so much and so strong.
I was scared, and I felt relief. I came home.
(06:39):
I wanted to speak with Vladimir, and he texted me.
He's like, i'll see you soon. I texted back, yes,
I'll see you soon, looking forward, and I was preparing
myself to explain him about what was happening all this
(07:00):
time and the way I met him. He thought, if
I will tell him everything, maybe it will change his mind,
and maybe we can escape together to some other place
without all this darkness and crime. I came downstairs and
(07:28):
I saw the same car and the driver, which I
know for so long. He came outside. He took my
hand like that, he opened the door and he pushed
me into the car. And that exactly moment, I understood
(07:50):
that he knows, and I understood that I'm fucked.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
I saw.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
The three guys, which obviously I know and they know me,
but at that time they were not smiling and they
were not nice to me. They looked at me with
very angry eyes, and they just pushed me in the
(08:35):
middle of the seat. And then another guy he put
the back, the back from where they used to put potatoes.
And when he put this back on my head, I
understood that that's it. I said, it's a mistake. Wait,
(09:02):
I need to explain to you. And the same guy,
who am I feeding my foot? Which I always cook
for them? He said to me, shut the fuck up.
We were driving and I just could hear sometimes they
(09:22):
would speak between each other quietly and like where is he? Okay,
he's coming. And I didn't cry, and I was just
staying silenced inside of my brain, and my head is
just I need to speak with Latimmer. I need to
(09:44):
speak with him. I need to speak with him. Eventually,
they stopped the car and we arrived to somewhere. I
could feel the fresh air and the smell of the trees,
(10:04):
and I understood that we are in the forest. And
the guy just pushed me out of the car. I
fall on the floor and he just like took my
hand and just started to drop me. And I felt
(10:26):
that my neck, my shoulders are getting hurt by them
the sticks of the trees. I felt that my skin
was like scratched. The bag was still on my face.
I heard another car stopped. It was bad because I
(10:52):
heard that voice. The voice I was scared that time,
fucking bitch, bring her to me. It was the voice
of the of the best friend of Vladimir, who saved
his life, who now was ready to kill me like
(11:16):
his fucking hero, like he found a traitor and now
with Mike killing he would become the hero of the
fucking gang. I felt desprid in his voice. The guy
who dragged me was just dropped my hand. I sat
(11:42):
on my knees and I felt someone with his feast
hurt my head so strong that all my body just
fall so hard that the bag all out of my head.
(12:05):
And I have also something really hot was going on
my skin, on my face. And I opened my eyes,
and when I opened my eyes, I saw these dirty
black poods with the land and I started to look
(12:31):
up and I saw this cold and sharp posture of
this man who looked at me with this angry cold eyes.
These eyes. When it's like this is your last moments
(12:52):
of your life, then you just have to accept your
your destiny, because he is the one who decides if
he lets you to leave or would die.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
The following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual assault
that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners.
Discretion is advised.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
And I looked around, and I saw that all of them,
all these brothers, these guys who ate my meal which
I cooked for them, who laughed at my jokes, who
are telling me goodbye, sister, all of them now wanted
(13:58):
to kill me at that right moment. And I only had,
like one thought, they can dive without speaking with Vladimir
to tell him the whole thing. I just wanted to
speak with him, nothing else. And I looked at his
(14:20):
friend and I said, please, please, I'm baking you, please
let me speak with Vladimir.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Please.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
And he did this like.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
The first time in his life.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
So he did this face, which is like the sarcastic smile,
and he said, now, you whore, you want to speak
with Vladimir, You think like I'll let you, And he
nod his hand, and each of them they started to
(14:57):
hit me, but they dirty big heavy boots to my belly,
to my face, to my legs, each of them my brothers,
(15:23):
as they were saying this before, your sister always will
take care about you, right, Vladimir.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
She's always sister.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Now.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
They all were beating me, trying to kill me life.
I was trying to hold my I was trying to
hold my hands next to my face so they wouldn't
they wouldn't hurt my brains, so I would pitches be
(15:57):
able maybe to talk. And then he stopped them.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
He laid on me on the top and he said,
what bitch, now you will dry my cock?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
You feel that you're such a fucking whore. I felt
such a I felt his body laying on me stock.
(16:54):
I couldn't even move.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Mm hm.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
And he started to enter me with this painful and
couldn't scream, and he laid on me so strong that
his body that I couldn't even breathe. I just heard
that all of them was standing around me. All of
(17:26):
them was standing around me and just nothing and saying like, yeah,
come on, just like give her harder. What bitch, do
you like it? I need some time? It's okay, it's
(18:07):
still still hard.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
The worst was that when you feel like I'm not
doing this anymore, I'm not like I'm different, I changed,
But yet nobody listens to you, and they don't care.
It's just like you're the traitor and from them. They
(18:34):
never led traitors to leave. It's like it's imporcible. It's like,
you know, she's a mall, she's a male. They were
like screaming, and when he was raping me, he said, oh,
(18:54):
he said, I wanted to do it so badly. From
the moment I saw you, I knew you fucking mall
and knew that you some kind of like clever woman
or some clever like shit. He said, like you cannot
play me, and like that, you know, like he he said, like,
(19:15):
finally I got you. Finally, finally he got me. He
told me that this is the end. This is the
last moment of your life. He had these breast knuckles
(19:36):
in his fist, and when he told that, he punched
me from the side so hard that I still have
a scarf here. Then it just kind of crushed my
bone as well, so I have a lock of the
(19:58):
bone here too. I don't know how long was it
like going on. At some point I fainted. I just couldn't.
I couldn't handle it. But then I heard they were arguing,
and I my mind came back to me and I
(20:21):
just couldn't understand why I'm still I'm still alive. Vladimir's
called my phone all this time. He was waiting for
me as all this, he called, and he called, and
obviously I didn't pick up the phone. I couldn't. First
(20:45):
of all, he called to this guy, to his friend.
I don't know exactly what was the conversation, but what
I understood when they were arguing with each other where
they would tell she is the mole, She's the mole.
She has to be killed right now, like fuck that.
She had just like, let's fucking finish her hair. And
(21:10):
then another guy said, like, we can't just finish her hair.
He's waiting, like he will be fucking killed all of
us if you do it without his permission. He said
to bring her to him, and they were hesitating and
they were arguing, and the army friend then said, fuck it,
(21:36):
let's just finish her in front of him if he
wants it. And one of the guys came to me
and he pushed me. So was all bleeding. I could
even feel inside of my mouth my blood, my own blood,
(21:57):
and my whole body was in pain. And I already
used to be honest, like I just didn't want to leave.
It was it was already so painful that I just
didn't want I just wanted to be ended. I was
so tired and so exhausted, and I just wanted to
(22:23):
see Vladimir before I wanted to tell him.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
They pushed me into.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
The car like a like a just just a body
like all like almost like just they threw me inside
and I couldn't even cry or something, and I didn't
speak all my body was shaking. And we arrived to
(23:03):
his house. And when we arrived, they started to take
me out from the car, and he already was standing
outside and he said, with his sharp voice, bring her
(23:27):
to me now. And I couldn't walk, so they just
took me with my shoulders just like almost like walk
me inside. And they brought me to that dining career
where we used to have.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Tinners.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
And I fall on the floor and they all came
and they all started to scream, she's a fucking mole, like,
let's fucking finish her right now.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
You were ready to finish her, why didn't you let us?
Like what the fuck?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
And then his army friend he said, I have all
the evidences. Our informer said, she's the agent. They blew
up all the operations a couple of days ago. She
(24:31):
was involve in every single information, every single operation we did.
She's the one who made us lose many like kilosoft,
drugs and money, and she's the reason of all of
our problems. And Vladimir looked at my body and he said, out,
(25:02):
everybody will like give her to us, just let us
finish her. Then he said again out. I sat out,
and his army friend said wait. Listened like we need
to do all the this together. He said, I said out,
(25:27):
and everybody laughed. It was just me and him in
the room. It was just silence.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
For a while.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
He came to me closer, and he sat down on
the floor and he looked at me, and he took
my face and I felt his strong hands, and I
started to.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Cry with the tears of of everything from the first beginning,
from the first day I event to the military academy,
from the first day I took the oaths. He looked
at me, then he asked me. He asked me only
(26:40):
one question, only one, and the question was.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Do you love me? And I cried.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
And I looked at him. I said, yes, I do,
I do love you. Very much. He took my face
closer and he hold me and he told me, tell
(27:19):
me everything, tell me everything. From the beginning, I felt
blood on my coming from my face into my eyes
and my mouth. My whole body was in pain. And
(27:42):
the first time in my life, I told the whole
truth about myself, about what I knew, what I've been through,
about my childhood, and how I ended up being an agent,
how I manipulated him and planned everything and set him up.
(28:11):
And while I was telling him everything I knew, I
was crying. He was listening, he didn't say word, and
I saw pain in his eyes. And by the time
(28:31):
I finish my story, Vladimir told me his side everything
he knew, and it fit together like a puzzle. We
both came to understand together that my commander wanted Zadka.
(28:55):
It's a black cash money, the primary money drug trafficking
operations coming from Afghanistan. But Vladimir told me he was
already paying the bribe for the different businesses he had
to the general I met with. So my own commander
(29:21):
sent me to this mission to basically just get rid
of Vladimir. And when I was revealed to be a
mall the gang would turn against Vladimir for causing them
all these problems and chose a new leader. That was
(29:44):
his goal, because he wanted to install in the gang
somebody who will be loyal to him, who would pay
him the kickback from the drug business for the long term.
And it was the army friend. And when Vladimir realized
(30:10):
that his own friend, whom he trusted all his life,
betrayed him, it almost killed him. I told him, we
still have time, we still have a chance. Let's move away.
(30:36):
I told him that the general with whom I spoken
just before that, I said, like he told me, I
have to leave. He said, yes, totally agree with him.
You have to leave. He gave me the number of
one person in Moscow who supposed to hide me and
(30:56):
just help me out in the beginning, who like some time.
He said, you stay quiet for a little bit, don't
go anywhere, and don't do anything. I will give you
some telephone numbers of people I know in Turkey, in Greece,
(31:17):
in Switzerland. Because of my passport and everything, he said,
first you fly to Turkey, and then from Turkey you
can fly to other countries. And later I will come
and we will go somewhere together. But for now, I
(31:40):
need to sort out all the situation with my former friend,
whom I trusted the most, and I need to figure
out the whole situation with my gang. I need to
crown someone who will be able to take care about
everything I built. I can just let down everybody. He
(32:02):
gave me some money, and he said not to communicate
with anyone, even with my parents. He said to me
in the end, now you have your freedom. Now you're free.
(32:24):
And the driver, his friend, whom I never seen before.
He came like an early early morning and he put
me into the car and he drove me away.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
You've been listening to episode fifteen, chapter thirty two, to
Hell and Back.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
To kill you. I'm really sorry.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
I had to do that.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I could June did away home. I was hol and
my god, I got to my to you have. I
had to joy.
Speaker 6 (33:36):
Us?
Speaker 4 (33:36):
Is So what's.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
The Leah's story concludes in the next episode.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I didn't know what was happening, and I was just
in another world, and I asked you, what's happening, and
he said, like, I don't know a lot of details,
but she was murdered.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
If you or a loved one are a survivor of
sexual assault. You can visit rain dot org that's r
AI n N dot org or call one eight hundred
sixty five six or six seven three for free confidential
twenty four to seven. Support to Die For is a
(34:47):
production of Tenderfoot TV in association with iHeart Podcasts. The
show is hosted and written by me Neil Strauss, with
additional writing assistants by Tristan Bankston. Executive producers are myself,
Donald Allbright, and Payne Lindsay. For iHeart Podcasts, executive producers
are Matt Frederick and Alex Williams. Lead producer and editor
(35:08):
is Tristan Bankston. Additional editing by Miles Clark and Christian Brown.
Supervising producer Tracy Kaplan. Consultants include Nushin, Valiza Day, Chelsea Gooden,
and Jamie Albright. Artwork by Byron McCoy, Original music by
Makeup and Vanity Set, mixed and mastered by Dayton Cole.
(35:29):
Our theme song is Killer Shangli Law by Psychotic Beats
featuring Pattiamore. Special thanks to Aren Rosenbaub and the team
at Uta Beck Media and Marketing Aarren Siegel Becky Jensen.
The nord Group, Meredith Stedman, Rose Baruch and alex Vespustad
Host
Neil Strauss
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