July 9, 2024 • 41 mins
Daniel chews the fat with cowboy Chris Waldhaus, who grew up off the grid, had a stint in Hollywood, and now runs a sanctuary for wild horses in the desert.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
How old are you getting thrown from a horse every day? Really? Yeah?
How's your body handling that? Because no, you're not. How
old are you now? Are you forty? Close to forty?
Close to forty or you're not forty? Yeah? All right,
you can't keep flying off horses.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
No coshha Cosh Shows Show Show.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Good morning. I'm Daniel Tosh, the host of Tosh Show. Eddie.
I hear you have got a video that you are
dying to show me so excited about this one. All right,
let's watch.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
What happens? Oh? Now you just the fuck out of
your trou Did you do well?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I know you felt Jack.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Even the dog can barely walk. Thank god that truck
was there. Jeff would still be stumbling all the way
to the ocean. The most interesting thing about this video
is that they're probably thirty eight years old. Yeah. People
always say, oh, you look so young. No, no, I don't.
(01:20):
I don't look that young. I look forty nine. You
look old as shit. Maybe eat better, sleep more, do
some exercise. Gotta you gotta take care of yourself. Jeff
doesn't deserve to have that pickup truck. You know, you
need to be a man drive a pickup truck like that.
(01:41):
I don't pretend to be a man. That's the end
of that statement. When I'm in southern California, I'm barely
a man. When I head up north, when I get
to the mountains, oh got my hatchet, my splitting mall.
(02:02):
That's when I become a man. Although I've never had
a chop wood yet. I you know, I had a cord.
It's been like five years. I haven't gone gone through
it yet. It's like, how much how much wood are
you supposed to burn? Me? And a man's tough. People
(02:23):
depend on you when you're a man. That's why I
always try to announce I'm barely a man. Let's get
the expectations back. Don't ask me to do things. I'll
call a man. I'll pay for a man to do
something me. No, I'm not the guy. You know. Sometimes
(02:43):
when I'm up in the cabin, the power will go
out and my generator won't turn on, and I go
out there with my little portable jumper and I hook
it up and I jump it and I get the
generator going and there's power in the house. And I'm like,
look at that. And then when the when the power
comes back, the generator turns off. Everything gets tripped in
(03:06):
the house. That's a pain. Then I gotta go to
the garage and I gotta undo this panel, and I
gotta flip this big this big switch. And every time
I flip it, it shocks this shit out of me. Oh,
but things I can't do. I mean that that list
is too long to go over. Protect my family, Nah,
can't do that. I can outrun them, you know, so
(03:30):
I can tell the story of what happened, Honor them
with a story, a tale to tell you. I could
learn a thing or two from today's guests. Enjoy. Pasha,
my guest today, has quite a life story. I'm going
to attempt to relate while he talks about some real
(03:53):
man shit like hunting for food and breaking wild horses.
At least we both love animals.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
He's one of the best looking fells west of the Mississippi.
Please welcome Chris, Thank you, thank you for having me
touch Okay, this interviews can be all over the place.
Your life story is a fascinating Let's start that you
grew up on a reservation in Colorado.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Outside of Durrango, the Ute Reservation. Okay, my mom and
my dad kind of had a lot of turmoil, and
she went to the reservation and stayed there for help,
and so I ended up being born there.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
We ended up growing up there.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
We stayed there for probably maybe six years, and then
we moved to our own spot in Colorado off of
like Ute Trail, So we're in the sticks aspen. Yeah,
there's a lot of aspen trees there, but oh that
this wasn't aspen. I got you.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
No on veil. You grew up in vil.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Outside of there too, No, I got you. You grew
up without electricity, No electricity?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
How long?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
No running water till we were about fourteen? We hunted
for our food. We got our water off the side
of a mountain, so it kind of to down into
this drainage pipe and we would collect it at the pipe.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
How did you take hot showers? No? Hot showers? You
never had a hot shower. We had hot baths. How
did you Okay, we.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Put the water over it like a fire and warmed
it up and then put it in you know those.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
They were cooking you. Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Do you know those kettles? It's like a almost like
a stew kettle. You just basically boil some hot water
in there and throw it in the tub. I mean
we washed our clothes with a washboard. We had an outhouse,
had a fruit cellar. Basically grew up off the land,
like eating cactail, roots and dandelions and just weird stuff, you.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Know, everything that you can eat. When quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
My mom was really like savvy when it came to
picking fruit and just different stuff like roots and berries.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It was pretty interesting. What about school?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Homeschooled all the way up until about sixth grade.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Legally homeschooled. My sister was the teacher. Okay, so not
legally homeschooled. No, anybody pop in and he visits it
from like.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
No interestingly enough. I mean we were so far out.
I don't even think they knew we were out there.
So I don't even know he existed.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, they didn't even know. How many siblings? Did you have?
Eight of us? Eighty seven? Yeah, five sisters and two brothers.
It's a lot of people. I mean it's like a
school it was. Did you guys get Comedy Central? No,
it's a shame. Are are you part of Native American? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
So my mother, my mother is African American, Native American.
Her mother's Cherokee and her father's African American. My father
is German and Native American. So his father's German and
his mother's Hopey. So maybe like fifty close to fifty percent.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Are Are you getting a government check or no? No?
By choice?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I never applied, never got oney. It takes too much paperwork.
I don't care that you're owed. Yeah, no, what's the
amount that they do? You even know the amount that
they give?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I have no idea. I'm gonna ask you to talk
about your stepfather. Now. I'm gonna turn the microphone off
and just listen to the next hour because I think
it's fascinating. Yeah. What an interesting guy. Right.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Have you ever seen Davy Crockett, like the movie? I
just know of Davy Crockett, like the movie, like the No.
I never watched The King of the Final Frontier.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah. So Dave was like Davy Crockett. I mean he
was super ingenuitive is the best word I could give it.
He he never told us what he did, but where
we lived, he had us like sifting for gold, you
know how when you get into the river and you
can kind of sift. We always found like these little
tiny specks of gold, and we were kids, so we
had no idea what fools gold was. But he'd like
(07:34):
come up with these big fools gold nuggets and be like, yeah,
I'm going to town to turn in the gold. But
he was actually a meth cooker, oh and.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So much different than a prospector.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
So he would disappear for like weeks and then come
back and bring groceries and we would get cool stuff
from town because most of the time we were eating rabbit.
Was he making the meth on your Honestly, I really
don't know, but he didn't have I'm pretty sure he
was because he didn't have any teeth. He always had
ether and mercury, just weird stuff. I mean, we played
(08:11):
with that kind of stuff as a kid. I remember
the mercury thought was cool because you could like spread
it out and it would come together. And then Terminator
came out and we saw that they were using mercury
to make that terminator guy.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
You know, as kids do when you're playing with mercury.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
He had a lot of ether too. Our dogs would
always get like into it with porcupines.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
He would just have a bodily ether on hand. Pour
some in a washcloth and stick it over the dog's
face and knock them out. And then take his little
needle nosed pliers and just pull quills out.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And did he know the amount that you were supposed to?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
He must have been like some kind of chemist. Did
you lose any dogs?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Okay? I even saw this man pick up a horse
one time. He like that seems like childish revisionist history.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Well, he put the horses like front of a body
on his chevy, and then he went to the back
and lifted up the back and threw his back out
because he was hurt for a while, and then pushed
the back end of the horse onto the because they
had died. I'm thinking old age, but he like he
picked the horse up and put I watched him do it.
(09:17):
I was just like this guy is. I thought it
was the coolest do it on the planet. I mean,
Davy Crockett. He taught me how to fish, taught me
how to hunt, taught me how to track. He was very,
uh outdoor savvy.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I'll say he knew how to get around.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Do you hunt for sport or no? I don't hunt
for sport. We did do it for food, though, Do
you eat a lot. Do you like food?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I do. I'll eat anything.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I think any food allergies As a kid that grew
up eating ants, Is there anything you're like, Oh, I
don't enjoy eating this. Grasshoppers, ants, crickets at no food allergies.
Craw dads I used to think craw dads and grasshoppers
were the best thing.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
What's the fanciest food that you can't and that you
can't get your head around? Why people eat it? S cargo? Yeah,
me too. That doesn't seem like it serves a purpose.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I never ate snails when I was growing up. I
just didn't see a purpose. We put salt on him
and let him just kind of like shrivel up and die.
I had a friend, this guy was he would pick
birds up and like bite their heads off. You were
friends with Ozzy Osbourne. I won't say his name, but yeah,
he was strange. Sure, I mean we were eating crowdads
(10:22):
and ants.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Right, but he wasn't. He wasn't biting heads off, bit
that was off of them.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
He wasn't even eating catching birds just out of curiosity,
just climbing up the tree and grabbing a bird out
of the nest.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh, it's a baby bird. No, this story just gets horrible.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I'll tell you a story about cigarette Remember back when
they used to sell the cartons in the store.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, as kids, we were bad. We used to steal
the whole cartons.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And one of my buddies got caught smoking by his
mom and she was like, all right, you're gonna smoke
this whole carton then, and they made us smoke the
whole carton and I quit smoking cigarettes after that.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
He still smokes to this day. But yeah, I had enough.
They've they've I think I think they've proven that that's
not the right way to parent. You know, he's got
a great joke about that, as Norm MacDonald. Oh, he
talked about getting caught and then his dad injected heroin
into the eye of his cock, and so it's a
good joke. He should look it up, all right. How
that how that father in law story end? You know?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Actually he he got killed by bounty hunters.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, it was.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Pretty it was pretty weird. Like that's about what I thought.
Arkansas Dave, he was from Arkansas, you know, the bounty
hunter that killed your stepdad. No, no, no, my stepdad's name
was Dave.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Sorry, and he was from Arkansas, so I wonder, like,
was that Arkansas Dave they were talking? No, I don't know,
though apparently he pulled a knife out at a gunfight
and got shot.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Oh well, that's horrible. I mean, you're definitely the arguably
the realist man I've ever had on the show. How
long do you think you would survive if there was
a zombie apocalypse? I think I could make it.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I mean as long as I was pretty far out
and they weren't even interested in coming out there, kind
of like protect the.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Services, all right, Now you are a cowboy, yeah, I
would say, so. Now the term cowboy with with you know,
indigenous people, Native American, those don't necessarily go hand in hand.
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's the second time I've had that question. Okay, And
when was the first time you kill that person?
Speaker 1 (12:19):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
No, we were in Santa Fe. We were shooting this
thing for Filson, and there was myself and a couple
of the cowboys there and they were like, well, do
natives call themselves cowboys? And I was like, you know,
everybody that works horses or cattle calls himself a cowboy.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I think that the word came from this is just
what I've heard. So back in the day cowboys black
and white. The white cowboys were called cow hands, the
black cow hands were called cowboys, and the natives kind
of just got thrown in there whatever, you know. So,
if you were working on a ranch and you were
(12:56):
working horses or cattle, you were.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Just a cowboy. How'd you get your land out in
a Joshua tree?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I basically wrote the contract for a least to own
for the first two years with the first ride of refusal.
And I wrote that contract during the pandemic. I had
pandemic prices.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Telling people exactly what you did. You were buying a
large amount of acreage to open a horse sanctuary, yes,
for wild horses, for mustangs.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I got the guy to sign the contract and then
I ran with it. So I had the first ride
of refusal after two years, and I was renting the
land first for eight hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Uh huh, that's a good deal.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
So during the pandemic, people were trying to get out
of the city and they wanted to go and be outside. Right,
And if you remember, we couldn't celebrate Christmas, we couldn't
celebrate Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I don't remember that people.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Couldn't celebrate their birthdays, so they were all coming to
the ranch and renting campsites and celebrating there. So we
had like thirty people every weekend. There were like a
super spreader.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
It was.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Maybe all right, but it was really nice. And so
we first started renting the dirt and I was building fences.
So then I built the fences, and then September of
twenty one, I got my first two horses. You know,
they say what you think about you attract, right, So
I the first two horses I got were very special horses.
They're called Nez Pierce, Blanket Applelousas. So I took these
(14:25):
two reservation ponies, and the guy who sold me the
reservation ponies gave me two horses. So September of twenty one,
I had four horses. And then my estranged uncle, I
hadn't talked to him in forever, and he called me.
He's in Palm Springs and he's like, hey, I heard
you're out in Joshua Tree. Are you killing mustangs? And
(14:47):
I was like, what, I'm saving mustangs. He was like, oh, okay,
because I've heard a lot about mustangs and like people
are shooting them, and I just wasn't sure what you
were doing with them, and I was like, why don't
you come up and see what I'm doing? So he
and his wife came up and they saw and they
were like mind blown. I'll say this also a lot
(15:07):
of people come and lose their shit, like they get
there and they cry, or they just like go into
this like meditative, like start having I don't know, downloads
if you will, like just feeling like the the universe
is talking to him. So I think that happened to
my uncle. And he was like, how can I help?
(15:29):
And I was like, well, why don't you save this
mustang from Colorado? And he was like okay, So he
bought the Mustang out of the kill pen and shipped
it to us. So I went from four horses to
five horses. And then another lady called and was like, hey,
I got a Mustang I can't train. Can I give
it to you? And I was like sure, six mustangs? Then,
(15:50):
now do you break that mustang? Yeah, we don't even
call it breaking.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Okay, I didn't know that's the many word. I knew.
We call it starting, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
So we start them, build a solid foundation and then
let them go from there.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Well, why don't you just let them keep running wild?
Or why do you have to.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So in America we have a high respect for horses
unless you're at Santa Anita. Even there they really respect
them and they love them. But it's just that the
thoroughbred is so selectively bred and inbread that its hooves
are really small and its bodies really big. So that
big body on those really small hooves is hard on
the legs and they break a lot of legs. And
(16:28):
that Santa Anita track isn't really giving, so it hurts
those thoroughbreds. But on top of that, Thoroughbreds are raced
at two years old, and they're racing career is over
by five or six, and that's a long career. But
a horse can live twenty five years past that. The
life expectancy for a Thorowbread is actually nineteen, so they
(16:50):
don't live much longer because they really run them hard
and into the ground.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
But while they're running at Santa Anita, they're very loved.
Everybody takes care of them, they appreciate them, they baby them.
But then when they're done running, they go to a
thoroughbred farm where they're thrown out with thirty or forty
other thoroughbreds that are retired, and they're fighting for their
food and they just don't have such a great life anymore.
It's kind of like a supermodel who when she's sixteen
(17:16):
to nineteen, everybody loves her right, and then when she's
when she's twenty four.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You're just like, oh, oh, look this old hag. See
if she can fight for some food. So you open
this sanctuary and just right away started just rescuing horses
or having people bring them to you or what was
how was this working?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
So I opened the sanctuary in October of twenty twenty.
What's the name of it, Cascade Trails Mustang Sanctuary.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Do people ride your horses? Yes, all of them.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
We have five that are not rideable right now because
they're under the age of three.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I can ride it. I've ridden one horse a lot. Yes,
my whole life. I love horses. I love all animals.
I love horses, but I don't need to be on them,
like to look at them.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
There's an energy that exudes from horses that's so calming.
Like I said, when people come there, they lose their
shit and it's just I think it's just the energy
that's there.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I've always wanted to adopt a couple Clydesdale's just to
look at those things.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Those are called drafts, drafts. I want one of those
drafts on your lot. I have two drafts.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
You do. They're called I'm sorry, not pertrons. We have
two Belgians. How many hands high? Is that good question?
What do you know about hands? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So hands are measured like this, Yeah, it's four inches
and you go one the mits.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You gotta do three fingers with yours.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
So we have two Belgians. One is nineteen hands and
one is seventeen to one. The other the biggest horse
that we had prior to that was the thoroughbred. She's
sixteen hands. Okay, so yeah, two Belgian drafts. They look
a lot like Clydesdale's.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I just like those commercials when the bud like or
beer commercial. Yeah at Christmas time to make you cry.
Yeah awesome, Oh they are awesome. How many sayings in
the language that we have are horse related? Let's talk
about that for a second. Okay, do you say champing
at the bit or chomping at the bit? Chomping at
the bit. It's champing. Wait really, yeah, the term is champing,
(19:18):
but everyone says chomping at the bit. That's right, but
the actual term is champion at the bit. That's interesting.
I mean, it kind of is, except for the people
that fight me on it like it's zones because you
think of just chomping at a bit. But it still
comes from the same thing I believe, Well, I doesn't.
Thoroughbreds kind of they do that champ at the bit.
So thoroughbreds are trained to run into the bit. Most horses,
(19:38):
when you pull back, they think stop. But a thoroughbred,
when you pull back, they run harder because the jockeys
standing up on them and using the reins as leverage,
and he's pulling and he wants the thoroughbred to run
through that. What do you weigh about two forty?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Nah?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Do you a dream about being a jockey?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Never, when I was a kid, but no, never. They're tiny,
little fellows. They are little fellows. Holy cat, that's not normal. No, well,
why don't they just wait and tell me why they
don't just use girls. That's a good question.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I mean, nowadays with sports incorporating women into everything.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Seems like easy to get one hundred and five pound girl.
That's a that's strong enough to do it. What's your
love life like? Are you married? No, I'm not married.
Have you ever been married? Yes? Yeah? How long it lasted?
Two years? Two years? Divorce took longer? Uh huh it
was Did she get half of a Mustang? No?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I didn't have anything at that point, so she was
just happy to get rid of me. I think, huh, okay, kids, Yeah,
we do. We have two kids. Are you done having children?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
If I met the right woman and she was interested
in that, then I would be open to it.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Are you in a relationship right now? I have a girlfriend?
Is she the right person? We're working on things. I
got the perfect person for you. She's just all she's
into his horses, her Oh oh, she's been thirty seven
and she wants to have kids though, that's about the
age you have to have kids with her. You know
you want? Do you want to hear a voice and
(21:08):
when you call her see if she's interested. No, I
think he might like her. Do you let me know.
We'll see. I'll check in on you a few months
from now, and we'll see if you need to Uh
another somebody to date that I got a perfect person.
You call your motorcyclist steel horse. I do you ever
dabbling pony play? I don't even know if you know
a pony plays. That are the weird people on the
(21:29):
internet that like pretend to be horses. No, so the
ones that have the stick horse, yeah they do. Is
that pony player? No pony player, They actually pony play
actually pretends to be a horse, right, hobby horsing. Hobby
horsing is when you just run around on a stick
and pretend jump and all that kind of weird. Yeah,
that's pretty weird. It's also emotional, though. Yeah, sometimes you'll
see them and just cry. Have you always been into horses?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I mean I grew up watching he Man and his
companion was battle Cat. I couldn't really ride that wasn't
a horse a lion, So yeah, the horse was my
battle cat.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I mean sure, if you had a large cat, that'd
be awesome. I once worked add a sanctuary out in
the desert out there with some guys that had illegally,
you know, tooken a bunch of tiny tigers so people
could take photos with them, and then they grew into monsters,
and they're like, what are we going to do with
them now? And so we had to, you know, send
them to different rescue places all over the country. So
(22:28):
I'm out there working probably fifty to one hundred big
cats and in cages that wouldn't hold a house cat
in them. And I'm just out there volunteer and they're
like just clean cleaning all the shit out of there.
They're cannibalizing, eating each other, you know, because there's not
enough food. They're the reward for working there was at
the end of the day, you got to you got
(22:51):
to hose them off, and they were just in heaven
to have water. And I'm just like right just standing
next to a huge tiger with a hose and he's
just eating the water like crazy.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
I was like, ah, this is great. You remind me
of I just dug this pond for him. So I
have a pond in front of the water area, and
it's like it almost looks like you're catching a glimpse
of them feeling like, oh, this is this is what
freedom was. We could have splash in the pond and it's.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Tough, yeah, but their space, they are still getting a
bit of the good life. You get a little bit
of both worlds too, some pampering that would have never
been there. True, very true. What is average day for you?
Like on your ranch?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
It starts at five. I clean the pasture, I feed
the horses, I fill up water, I give them the buckets.
By the time i'm doing doing that, it's about eight
thirty nine o'clock. Then I'll feed myself. I actually have
a raven now, so I feed the raven. When I
feed myself, I'll bring her and put her on the
(23:53):
goat pen.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
What does it cost to feed a horse every day?
I broke it down.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I think the buckets end up being like three or
four dollars a bucket, But hey fluctuates, so a bail
of hay can be anywhere between twenty dollars and thirty dollars.
And if you're smart, you'll cut the middleman out and
you'll just go direct and buy by the ton. But
you can get You can get one hundred and fifty
bills a hay for about two grand, and you can
(24:22):
get five hundred bills a hay for about four grand.
So I usually try to get the five hundred bills,
and that lasts me a lot longer horses.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Are they expensive to take care?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
They are if you don't know what you're doing. Because
somebody that doesn't know how to make the feed themselves,
they're gonna buy all that different feed and they're gonna
scoop it out individually and end up spending five hundred
dollars every two weeks just for feed, whereas I can
spend five hundred dollars in two weeks and make that
last four weeks. So I'm cutting my costs in half.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I mean, it's just a full day. This is just
breakfast time. Where's that nine? Yeah? What time do you
go to bed? I'm usually done right around like nine
nine o'clock. Jeez, so much work? How often are you
getting thrown from a horse every day? Really? Yeah? How's
your body handling that? Because no, you're not How old
are you now? Are you forty? Close to forty? Close
to forty or you're not forty? Yeah? All right. You
(25:15):
can't keep flying off horses.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
No, but people that train horses they learn how to
not fly off.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You can control a jump better than you can control
a fall. Okay, so I'm jumping if I think it's
getting bad, I'm jumping you.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Ever see that mister Hans video. No, this guy guy
was killed having sex with a horse. Wow, it was disturbing.
That sounds disturbing. Apparently it was legal, though in the
state of Washington there was some like beastiality loophole. That
doesn't matter. How many times did day do you say yeehaw?
Hardly have never? Okay? Can you play a harmonica? I can?
(25:50):
Do you play poker? Yep? How many times have you
seen tumbleweed just rolled by you a lot in the desert?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
How hot is it? It gets triple digits? So your
horses don't have a problem with that.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
It's pretty awesome. They don't.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I mean, and I only know because sometimes I don't
wear my shoes. I'll run around. We call it grounding.
What what's called grounding? So you barefoot? You just let
your feet touch the earth.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
We just call it bare feet. Yeah, there's a technical term.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Now okay, but one day I was out there and
it was I we could probably leave this out too.
So I have a campground as well, and we get
a lot of campers that come and they like they
don't use all their party favors, right, And people in
the desert like to participate in the dark arts. Sure,
So they come out there with like bags of mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
I'm gonna leave this in just so you know. So
he comes, he's leaving, and he gives me like this
ziplock bag of mushrooms. I love them.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
So the guy gave you these mushrooms and he was like, hey,
we couldn't finish these.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
You want them? And I was like sure.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I'm sitting there, it's probably maybe two or three in
the afternoon. I just start eating the mushrooms, just eating them.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
You thought it was a snack, for real.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I just thought it was food. I thought it was mushrooms.
That's what he thought he gave you. So I eat
these mushrooms and six years later, the obviously the effects
of it took. It took a little bit, but it started.
I noticed after that the ant pile was like pulsating,
and I felt like the antswer like marching one by one,
(27:26):
and I could see him like dancing to the rhythm.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
They knew you were about to eat. That is that
the last time you've done mushrooms? No, I prefer the
tea now. Actually, okay, well that's fine. Somehow in between
growing up on a reservation in Colorado and being a
cowboy in the desert. You lived in La. Yeah, of
(27:50):
all places, did you hate it here? You know?
Speaker 2 (27:53):
LA's a lot like the desert, beautiful but brutal. A
lot of people come to LA with high hopes and
asper and LA just beats them down. But I really
just came to work. My brother had gotten to a
motorcycle accident, so I left Colorado to come here and
kind of help him recover. No spinal neck or back injuries,
but he was bedridden for like four months. Huh, and
(28:14):
I basically had to be like his housemaid. Did you
have to wipe him everything? It was crazy. My brother
had to wipe me once. When I was in college.
I had broken both arms. I couldn't get behind. Wow, Well,
what a good brother. But then you moved to La.
So did you have culture shock When you first got here?
They shaved me. They cut my hair off. It was
like I looked like a really like a caveman.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I'd been riding horses and training horses the whole time
I was in Colorado, and so when I got to La,
they were like, you can't. You're not gonna be able
to get a job looking like that. You got to
shave and trimming hair or something. So I ended up
getting a job doing security at the Roosevelt Hotel, and
I was working security at the West Hollywood addition. So
my LA experience was different from most people's LA. I
(28:58):
just went to work and kind of take care of
my brother. So opportunities just open. And while I was
taking care of my brother, I couldn't do anything else.
I couldn't really have a job or he required twenty
four to seven care. So finally when he got back
on his feet, he was like, I'm leaving Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
There's no structure. I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I'm moving to Australia. And he said I could have
his apartment for a month and then the lease was up.
So I'm in Beverly Hills and the lease is ending.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
That's where he has. Apartments in Beverly Hills. Apartments in
Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Your brother was doing great, he was doing really well.
He's still doing well. Boy, he's in Australia. Well, he's
back in LA now Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
In Beverly Hills. From eating ants to living in Beverly,
you guys are the real Beverly Hillbillies. You know.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I just kind of was like, this is you know,
this is a culture shock for me because people there
were like even some of the girls I talked to,
they were like, I would be like, you want to
have lunch and they'd be like sure, and I'd be like,
let's meet at subway and They're like, eh, yeah, I
don't need subway And I'm like, what, well, it's disgusting,
all right, and you know that now, right?
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Do you know it? Now they make I don't know, no,
I don't know what they use. But so they sponsor
a great sandwich. It was pretty interesting, right, So you
didn't do well. You didn't do well dating here, not
at all.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
It was just kind of tough because, like I said,
some of the girls they even down to like where
I grocery shopped. I would go I would be like,
let's let's go get something to eat, Let's pick up
some groceries at Ralph's.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Ralph's, that's not good enough. We're going to Bristol Farms. Okay,
That's what I'm talking about. That's why you can't have
an apartment Beverly Hills and go to next year to
tell me that you went to John's. You know, Vaughn's
is garbage. Then John's is below Vaughn. I've never been
to there's a John's. Yeah, it's not good. I used
to take a girl every now and on a date.
We'd go to just the food court thing in Whole
(30:45):
Foods where you just take a box and you fill
it with whatever you wanted. I thought it was fancy enough,
but that wasn't good enough. They didn't like that as
a date. Anyway, you work security at the Roosevelt Hotel
and you believe you saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.
So first, my ninth question that I ask you every guest,
do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely, absolutely believe in ghosts?
(31:06):
And while working at the Roosevelt Hotel, you believe you
saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
True or false? True, and you tried to hit on her. Gosh,
that's true. So I'm working at the Roosevelt. My shift
is two to eleven. I've been there for probably maybe
three months now. And there's like you do what's called
a perimeter patrol. As I'm doing the perimeter patrol, you
go out and around the entire hotel and you come
(31:31):
back through the back and you go in through the
back gate and it brings you into what's called the
beer Garden. And the beer garden is underneath the bridge
that overlooks Tropicana. So Tropicana is the pool area, and
there's the Marylyn Monroe Suite, which is where she lived
quite some time, right there on the edge of the
Tropicana Pool area. So one night, I'm walking through the
(31:52):
beer Garden and out of the corner of my eye,
up on the bridge, I see this woman wearing like
an old white gas and it just looks totally out
of place for twenty eighteen. And she has a really
nice figure with no like just doesn't look like she fits. Okay,
So I walk around, I go up the stairs and
I get up to the top and no one's there,
(32:13):
and I'm looking around, like where did this lady go?
But the Roosevelt's known for being haunted, so there's like
there's a few different places where people see apparitions. When
you said do I believe in ghosts, I think ghosts
are I know this is going to sound desert woo woo,
but I think it's energy.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
So, because Marilyn was there so much and so many
people knew she was there and loved her being there.
There's like this collective energy that she's able to manifest there,
and so that's the best way I can explain her
being there. But that wasn't the only ghost situation there.
So at the Roosevelt there's this room called the Spare Room.
(32:51):
It's like a bowling alley slash bar. We had a
security officer at the spare Room get possessed. Basically, he
I don't know if he was on drugs or what,
but he like started foaming at the mouth, talking this
weird I guess you would call it tongues, just being
extremely weird. We had to remove him from the spare
(33:13):
room and then send him home because he was really.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Because he was having a stroke and you didn't want
to call the hospital. No, he was having some type
of episode. I hope it was a stroke. Yeah, some
of them. Maybe they should have called nine to one more.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
But there was a lot of weird stuff that happened
to the Rose Horse. I mean, oh gosh, I can
tell you stories about the Roosevelt all day. So one
time John legends there they're having a party on the rooftop.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
One of the guys who's there. I hate that I
have to say this, but he.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Was like like his head was on his shoulder, so
his whole, his whole, Both of his shoulders seemed like
they were shifted this way, and his head was like
over here. And people were saying he was a god
from some outer space star series, some crazy stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Right. You ever see those conjoined twins, that one of
them was a cowboy singer, a country singer. It's like
a little one attached to the head, and she was
a country singer. She was like small, and then there
was like a big person that wasn't into country music.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
You never saw them all right, Well he looked that
up sometimes a straight guy in that world. And there
were people who were backing his story. Okay, well they're
all idiots. I always give guests things that are on
my show.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
You ever use a lip bomb, but in the desert,
it's hot, so you need this little lip bomb cooler? Okay,
that way with me. Yeah, you're gonna put that in here.
Let me see that mightsticks might be too big. We'll see.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
That almost looks like yer a toy. No, my friend, No,
it's not a sex toy. My family, my cousin's. I
don't know a cousin's cousin. He invented this. It's got
my initials on it. I'm giving it to you, lovely,
it says chappy. I don't, but so your lip bomb
doesn't melt out there in the desert. Also, you need
a lint roller. My wife buys this stuff in bulk
and I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't know if it's gonna fish it out. But
I had this.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
One West this this you know, it's kind of like
a good looking deum.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Well right, I was like, I haven't even worn it,
and I go, I'm not gonna wear this shirt. I go,
I gotta get I gotta pass it on. So let's me.
But I don't know if it'll fit you because you're
way broader than I am. That's a you don't want
to wear that. Come out to the red No, no, no,
I give you. I give you this shirt. This is amazing. Yeah,
thank you. You're welcome. Dude. You can just set that
all on the ground there. That doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
This is actually pretty cool because chapstick does melt out there.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Well, of course it does not anymore. Now you got
yourself cool little somebody's gonna think this is It doesn't
matter what they think. Okay, you're a man. You can
handle having a little pink dildo in your pocket. What
do people need to do to help your horse sanctuary?
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Come and visit, interact with the horses, see that there's
a benefit. Like you said, you don't have to ride
them to get the benefits.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
You currently have twenty five horses. Fun, how many could
you actually? What was? It's a maximmer. You could probably
hold there.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
When I reverse whiteboarded this, I did it from ninety
Uh huh, I could easily hold ninety.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
But there's there's myself. I mean employees. You got over there.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I have a handful of volunteers and two employees, a
young lady that runs the back office and a young
lady that manages the campground.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
I heard you had a high desert danny out to
your ranch. Yeah, that's our snake lady friend. She calls
herself the rattlesnake wrangler. Huh.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
And a wrangler works horses. Okay, So I was like, hey,
if you're a wrangler, come ride horses with me. And
she was like, I've never been on a horse. I'm
scared of horses. I was like this, okay, you can
come out here. I'll help you out. So she came
out and put her on her trail ride and she
did great. Then she came back. She brought a lot
of weed, uh huh and snakes and it was fun.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Are all these stories true? Are you is a brilliantly
trained character actor. No, they're true. Yeah, you've lived quite
a rich life, that is. It is impressive. You sure
you don't want to take a run at my wife's cousin. No,
I'm telling you, man, I think you're gonna like her.
I'm gonna send her out there. She's all she's just
a horse. I mean, she's in a relationship too. But
(37:20):
well it doesn't man, it's I listen, she wants kids
and she loves horses. You guys, just you're two peas
in a pod. That's all I'm saying. Oh you're gonna
love her, you guys, then we're gonna be family. It's
gonna be weird. I listen. We appreciate everything you do
all the best, Daniel, Thank you so much for having them.
All right, man, I'll see you at the UH at
(37:40):
the next family reunion. Pasha, I want to thank Chris
for being on the show. I can't wait to get
out there and ride that horse. I don't think i'll
do it. I'll be honest with you, I'm not I
don't want to be on top of a horse. I'll
stop by, I'll say hi, but no, no, I'm not
(38:01):
gonna get on a horse. How about you? Have you
ridden a horse?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Carl?
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Can a dog ride a horse? That's a great question.
What's going on? What have you been up to? You
watching Wimbledon? Huh, I'm watching Wimbledon. Sinner? You know the
new current world number one, Alcarez, Love them love Alcarez.
Now you know his haircut's getting a little better. It
(38:27):
started out very poor, now it's getting better. Cinner. The
problem I have with Sinner I've seen him play several times.
I can't wrap my head around a redheaded Italian. It's
just weird. And then when he talks, I'm like, oh,
I keep forgetting you're Italian because he's got red hair,
(38:49):
and I just don't think of Italians as gingers. But
sure enough, they've got gingers over there in Italy. Speaking
of tennis, I watched that movie the other day. What's
it called The One with Zendaya. Oh yeah, challengers. Challengers
didn't know I was embarking on a little soft core porn,
(39:11):
just just all kinds of sex in that. I thought
Zindaia was great. There's no chance that you know, she
should get an award for that. But the story was
silly and ridiculous. My problem with it was I couldn't
believe the time spanned that she was, you know, sixteen
(39:35):
seventeen in the beginning, and then she's thirty something in
the end. It's like, well, you look the exact same.
It's like, oh, oh your haircut, you gave yourself a
bad bob, and now I'm supposed to believe you're older.
That ass ain't thirty mm hmm. Showing her sweet cheeks
in that movie, you believe that? That was uncomfortable. I
(39:56):
was just sitting next to my wife the whole time
watching this movie. Oh, isn't necessary. I don't find that
attractive whatsoever. You know, Yeah, tennis very sexual game. Apparently
that's why I like pick a ball. You know, it's
it's it's less less about the sex and more about
just hitting a ball back and forth over a net.
(40:18):
All right, what's going on boyswearpink dot com. Check out
our clothing line for toddlers. The Goat. All episodes available
now on Prime. We're going on tour. We're doing shows
different places, New Orleans, shows in Hawaii. I think we're
gonna add something in December. We got to find a
place to go in December. Another one of my son's
(40:40):
bedtime stories. See you guys next week. A little story
tonight because I'm really sleepy.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah that's too short. Give me a nice story about
maybe you won't really like it. Well, I'll be the judge.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Okay, Once upon a time they were desulted in the water.
They were listen and told it. But any time they
trast away, how theyd ate them dying time eating either
when they at night time, they do a time out,
(41:22):
and then they then get a sissy. Then and then
the show about a ship signing Nemo, and then I
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Don't swer that that was awful
How old are you getting thrown from a horse every day? Really? Yeah?
How's your body handling that? Because no, you're not. How
old are you now? Are you forty? Close to forty?
Close to forty or you're not forty? Yeah? All right,
you can't keep flying off horses.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
No coshha Cosh Shows Show Show.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Good morning. I'm Daniel Tosh, the host of Tosh Show. Eddie.
I hear you have got a video that you are
dying to show me so excited about this one. All right,
let's watch.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
What happens? Oh? Now you just the fuck out of
your trou Did you do well?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I know you felt Jack.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Even the dog can barely walk. Thank god that truck
was there. Jeff would still be stumbling all the way
to the ocean. The most interesting thing about this video
is that they're probably thirty eight years old. Yeah. People
always say, oh, you look so young. No, no, I don't.
(01:20):
I don't look that young. I look forty nine. You
look old as shit. Maybe eat better, sleep more, do
some exercise. Gotta you gotta take care of yourself. Jeff
doesn't deserve to have that pickup truck. You know, you
need to be a man drive a pickup truck like that.
(01:41):
I don't pretend to be a man. That's the end
of that statement. When I'm in southern California, I'm barely
a man. When I head up north, when I get
to the mountains, oh got my hatchet, my splitting mall.
(02:02):
That's when I become a man. Although I've never had
a chop wood yet. I you know, I had a cord.
It's been like five years. I haven't gone gone through
it yet. It's like, how much how much wood are
you supposed to burn? Me? And a man's tough. People
(02:23):
depend on you when you're a man. That's why I
always try to announce I'm barely a man. Let's get
the expectations back. Don't ask me to do things. I'll
call a man. I'll pay for a man to do
something me. No, I'm not the guy. You know. Sometimes
(02:43):
when I'm up in the cabin, the power will go
out and my generator won't turn on, and I go
out there with my little portable jumper and I hook
it up and I jump it and I get the
generator going and there's power in the house. And I'm like,
look at that. And then when the when the power
comes back, the generator turns off. Everything gets tripped in
(03:06):
the house. That's a pain. Then I gotta go to
the garage and I gotta undo this panel, and I
gotta flip this big this big switch. And every time
I flip it, it shocks this shit out of me. Oh,
but things I can't do. I mean that that list
is too long to go over. Protect my family, Nah,
can't do that. I can outrun them, you know, so
(03:30):
I can tell the story of what happened, Honor them
with a story, a tale to tell you. I could
learn a thing or two from today's guests. Enjoy. Pasha,
my guest today, has quite a life story. I'm going
to attempt to relate while he talks about some real
(03:53):
man shit like hunting for food and breaking wild horses.
At least we both love animals.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
He's one of the best looking fells west of the Mississippi.
Please welcome Chris, Thank you, thank you for having me
touch Okay, this interviews can be all over the place.
Your life story is a fascinating Let's start that you
grew up on a reservation in Colorado.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Outside of Durrango, the Ute Reservation. Okay, my mom and
my dad kind of had a lot of turmoil, and
she went to the reservation and stayed there for help,
and so I ended up being born there.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
We ended up growing up there.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
We stayed there for probably maybe six years, and then
we moved to our own spot in Colorado off of
like Ute Trail, So we're in the sticks aspen. Yeah,
there's a lot of aspen trees there, but oh that
this wasn't aspen. I got you.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
No on veil. You grew up in vil.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Outside of there too, No, I got you. You grew
up without electricity, No electricity?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
How long?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
No running water till we were about fourteen? We hunted
for our food. We got our water off the side
of a mountain, so it kind of to down into
this drainage pipe and we would collect it at the pipe.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
How did you take hot showers? No? Hot showers? You
never had a hot shower. We had hot baths. How
did you Okay, we.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Put the water over it like a fire and warmed
it up and then put it in you know those.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
They were cooking you. Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Do you know those kettles? It's like a almost like
a stew kettle. You just basically boil some hot water
in there and throw it in the tub. I mean
we washed our clothes with a washboard. We had an outhouse,
had a fruit cellar. Basically grew up off the land,
like eating cactail, roots and dandelions and just weird stuff, you.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Know, everything that you can eat. When quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
My mom was really like savvy when it came to
picking fruit and just different stuff like roots and berries.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It was pretty interesting. What about school?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Homeschooled all the way up until about sixth grade.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Legally homeschooled. My sister was the teacher. Okay, so not
legally homeschooled. No, anybody pop in and he visits it
from like.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
No interestingly enough. I mean we were so far out.
I don't even think they knew we were out there.
So I don't even know he existed.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, they didn't even know. How many siblings? Did you have?
Eight of us? Eighty seven? Yeah, five sisters and two brothers.
It's a lot of people. I mean it's like a
school it was. Did you guys get Comedy Central? No,
it's a shame. Are are you part of Native American? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
So my mother, my mother is African American, Native American.
Her mother's Cherokee and her father's African American. My father
is German and Native American. So his father's German and
his mother's Hopey. So maybe like fifty close to fifty percent.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Are Are you getting a government check or no? No?
By choice?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I never applied, never got oney. It takes too much paperwork.
I don't care that you're owed. Yeah, no, what's the
amount that they do? You even know the amount that
they give?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I have no idea. I'm gonna ask you to talk
about your stepfather. Now. I'm gonna turn the microphone off
and just listen to the next hour because I think
it's fascinating. Yeah. What an interesting guy. Right.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Have you ever seen Davy Crockett, like the movie? I
just know of Davy Crockett, like the movie, like the No.
I never watched The King of the Final Frontier.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah. So Dave was like Davy Crockett. I mean he
was super ingenuitive is the best word I could give it.
He he never told us what he did, but where
we lived, he had us like sifting for gold, you
know how when you get into the river and you
can kind of sift. We always found like these little
tiny specks of gold, and we were kids, so we
had no idea what fools gold was. But he'd like
(07:34):
come up with these big fools gold nuggets and be like, yeah,
I'm going to town to turn in the gold. But
he was actually a meth cooker, oh and.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So much different than a prospector.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
So he would disappear for like weeks and then come
back and bring groceries and we would get cool stuff
from town because most of the time we were eating rabbit.
Was he making the meth on your Honestly, I really
don't know, but he didn't have I'm pretty sure he
was because he didn't have any teeth. He always had
ether and mercury, just weird stuff. I mean, we played
(08:11):
with that kind of stuff as a kid. I remember
the mercury thought was cool because you could like spread
it out and it would come together. And then Terminator
came out and we saw that they were using mercury
to make that terminator guy.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
You know, as kids do when you're playing with mercury.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
He had a lot of ether too. Our dogs would
always get like into it with porcupines.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
He would just have a bodily ether on hand. Pour
some in a washcloth and stick it over the dog's
face and knock them out. And then take his little
needle nosed pliers and just pull quills out.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And did he know the amount that you were supposed to?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
He must have been like some kind of chemist. Did
you lose any dogs?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Okay? I even saw this man pick up a horse
one time. He like that seems like childish revisionist history.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Well, he put the horses like front of a body
on his chevy, and then he went to the back
and lifted up the back and threw his back out
because he was hurt for a while, and then pushed
the back end of the horse onto the because they
had died. I'm thinking old age, but he like he
picked the horse up and put I watched him do it.
(09:17):
I was just like this guy is. I thought it
was the coolest do it on the planet. I mean,
Davy Crockett. He taught me how to fish, taught me
how to hunt, taught me how to track. He was very,
uh outdoor savvy.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I'll say he knew how to get around.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Do you hunt for sport or no? I don't hunt
for sport. We did do it for food, though, Do
you eat a lot. Do you like food?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I do. I'll eat anything.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I think any food allergies As a kid that grew
up eating ants, Is there anything you're like, Oh, I
don't enjoy eating this. Grasshoppers, ants, crickets at no food allergies.
Craw dads I used to think craw dads and grasshoppers
were the best thing.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
What's the fanciest food that you can't and that you
can't get your head around? Why people eat it? S cargo? Yeah,
me too. That doesn't seem like it serves a purpose.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I never ate snails when I was growing up. I
just didn't see a purpose. We put salt on him
and let him just kind of like shrivel up and die.
I had a friend, this guy was he would pick
birds up and like bite their heads off. You were
friends with Ozzy Osbourne. I won't say his name, but yeah,
he was strange. Sure, I mean we were eating crowdads
(10:22):
and ants.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Right, but he wasn't. He wasn't biting heads off, bit
that was off of them.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
He wasn't even eating catching birds just out of curiosity,
just climbing up the tree and grabbing a bird out
of the nest.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh, it's a baby bird. No, this story just gets horrible.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I'll tell you a story about cigarette Remember back when
they used to sell the cartons in the store.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, as kids, we were bad. We used to steal
the whole cartons.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And one of my buddies got caught smoking by his
mom and she was like, all right, you're gonna smoke
this whole carton then, and they made us smoke the
whole carton and I quit smoking cigarettes after that.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
He still smokes to this day. But yeah, I had enough.
They've they've I think I think they've proven that that's
not the right way to parent. You know, he's got
a great joke about that, as Norm MacDonald. Oh, he
talked about getting caught and then his dad injected heroin
into the eye of his cock, and so it's a
good joke. He should look it up, all right. How
that how that father in law story end? You know?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Actually he he got killed by bounty hunters.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, it was.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Pretty it was pretty weird. Like that's about what I thought.
Arkansas Dave, he was from Arkansas, you know, the bounty
hunter that killed your stepdad. No, no, no, my stepdad's name
was Dave.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Sorry, and he was from Arkansas, so I wonder, like,
was that Arkansas Dave they were talking? No, I don't know,
though apparently he pulled a knife out at a gunfight
and got shot.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Oh well, that's horrible. I mean, you're definitely the arguably
the realist man I've ever had on the show. How
long do you think you would survive if there was
a zombie apocalypse? I think I could make it.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I mean as long as I was pretty far out
and they weren't even interested in coming out there, kind
of like protect the.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Services, all right, Now you are a cowboy, yeah, I
would say, so. Now the term cowboy with with you know,
indigenous people, Native American, those don't necessarily go hand in hand.
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's the second time I've had that question. Okay, And
when was the first time you kill that person?
Speaker 1 (12:19):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
No, we were in Santa Fe. We were shooting this
thing for Filson, and there was myself and a couple
of the cowboys there and they were like, well, do
natives call themselves cowboys? And I was like, you know,
everybody that works horses or cattle calls himself a cowboy.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I think that the word came from this is just
what I've heard. So back in the day cowboys black
and white. The white cowboys were called cow hands, the
black cow hands were called cowboys, and the natives kind
of just got thrown in there whatever, you know. So,
if you were working on a ranch and you were
(12:56):
working horses or cattle, you were.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Just a cowboy. How'd you get your land out in
a Joshua tree?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I basically wrote the contract for a least to own
for the first two years with the first ride of refusal.
And I wrote that contract during the pandemic. I had
pandemic prices.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Telling people exactly what you did. You were buying a
large amount of acreage to open a horse sanctuary, yes,
for wild horses, for mustangs.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I got the guy to sign the contract and then
I ran with it. So I had the first ride
of refusal after two years, and I was renting the
land first for eight hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Uh huh, that's a good deal.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
So during the pandemic, people were trying to get out
of the city and they wanted to go and be outside. Right,
And if you remember, we couldn't celebrate Christmas, we couldn't
celebrate Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I don't remember that people.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Couldn't celebrate their birthdays, so they were all coming to
the ranch and renting campsites and celebrating there. So we
had like thirty people every weekend. There were like a
super spreader.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
It was.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Maybe all right, but it was really nice. And so
we first started renting the dirt and I was building fences.
So then I built the fences, and then September of
twenty one, I got my first two horses. You know,
they say what you think about you attract, right, So
I the first two horses I got were very special horses.
They're called Nez Pierce, Blanket Applelousas. So I took these
(14:25):
two reservation ponies, and the guy who sold me the
reservation ponies gave me two horses. So September of twenty one,
I had four horses. And then my estranged uncle, I
hadn't talked to him in forever, and he called me.
He's in Palm Springs and he's like, hey, I heard
you're out in Joshua Tree. Are you killing mustangs? And
(14:47):
I was like, what, I'm saving mustangs. He was like, oh, okay,
because I've heard a lot about mustangs and like people
are shooting them, and I just wasn't sure what you
were doing with them, and I was like, why don't
you come up and see what I'm doing? So he
and his wife came up and they saw and they
were like mind blown. I'll say this also a lot
(15:07):
of people come and lose their shit, like they get
there and they cry, or they just like go into
this like meditative, like start having I don't know, downloads
if you will, like just feeling like the the universe
is talking to him. So I think that happened to
my uncle. And he was like, how can I help?
(15:29):
And I was like, well, why don't you save this
mustang from Colorado? And he was like okay, So he
bought the Mustang out of the kill pen and shipped
it to us. So I went from four horses to
five horses. And then another lady called and was like, hey,
I got a Mustang I can't train. Can I give
it to you? And I was like sure, six mustangs? Then,
(15:50):
now do you break that mustang? Yeah, we don't even
call it breaking.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Okay, I didn't know that's the many word. I knew.
We call it starting, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
So we start them, build a solid foundation and then
let them go from there.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Well, why don't you just let them keep running wild?
Or why do you have to.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So in America we have a high respect for horses
unless you're at Santa Anita. Even there they really respect
them and they love them. But it's just that the
thoroughbred is so selectively bred and inbread that its hooves
are really small and its bodies really big. So that
big body on those really small hooves is hard on
the legs and they break a lot of legs. And
(16:28):
that Santa Anita track isn't really giving, so it hurts
those thoroughbreds. But on top of that, Thoroughbreds are raced
at two years old, and they're racing career is over
by five or six, and that's a long career. But
a horse can live twenty five years past that. The
life expectancy for a Thorowbread is actually nineteen, so they
(16:50):
don't live much longer because they really run them hard
and into the ground.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
But while they're running at Santa Anita, they're very loved.
Everybody takes care of them, they appreciate them, they baby them.
But then when they're done running, they go to a
thoroughbred farm where they're thrown out with thirty or forty
other thoroughbreds that are retired, and they're fighting for their
food and they just don't have such a great life anymore.
It's kind of like a supermodel who when she's sixteen
(17:16):
to nineteen, everybody loves her right, and then when she's
when she's twenty four.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You're just like, oh, oh, look this old hag. See
if she can fight for some food. So you open
this sanctuary and just right away started just rescuing horses
or having people bring them to you or what was
how was this working?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
So I opened the sanctuary in October of twenty twenty.
What's the name of it, Cascade Trails Mustang Sanctuary.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Do people ride your horses? Yes, all of them.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
We have five that are not rideable right now because
they're under the age of three.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I can ride it. I've ridden one horse a lot. Yes,
my whole life. I love horses. I love all animals.
I love horses, but I don't need to be on them,
like to look at them.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
There's an energy that exudes from horses that's so calming.
Like I said, when people come there, they lose their
shit and it's just I think it's just the energy
that's there.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I've always wanted to adopt a couple Clydesdale's just to
look at those things.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Those are called drafts, drafts. I want one of those
drafts on your lot. I have two drafts.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
You do. They're called I'm sorry, not pertrons. We have
two Belgians. How many hands high? Is that good question?
What do you know about hands? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So hands are measured like this, Yeah, it's four inches
and you go one the mits.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You gotta do three fingers with yours.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
So we have two Belgians. One is nineteen hands and
one is seventeen to one. The other the biggest horse
that we had prior to that was the thoroughbred. She's
sixteen hands. Okay, so yeah, two Belgian drafts. They look
a lot like Clydesdale's.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I just like those commercials when the bud like or
beer commercial. Yeah at Christmas time to make you cry.
Yeah awesome, Oh they are awesome. How many sayings in
the language that we have are horse related? Let's talk
about that for a second. Okay, do you say champing
at the bit or chomping at the bit? Chomping at
the bit. It's champing. Wait really, yeah, the term is champing,
(19:18):
but everyone says chomping at the bit. That's right, but
the actual term is champion at the bit. That's interesting.
I mean, it kind of is, except for the people
that fight me on it like it's zones because you
think of just chomping at a bit. But it still
comes from the same thing I believe, Well, I doesn't.
Thoroughbreds kind of they do that champ at the bit.
So thoroughbreds are trained to run into the bit. Most horses,
(19:38):
when you pull back, they think stop. But a thoroughbred,
when you pull back, they run harder because the jockeys
standing up on them and using the reins as leverage,
and he's pulling and he wants the thoroughbred to run
through that. What do you weigh about two forty?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Nah?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Do you a dream about being a jockey?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Never, when I was a kid, but no, never. They're tiny,
little fellows. They are little fellows. Holy cat, that's not normal. No, well,
why don't they just wait and tell me why they
don't just use girls. That's a good question.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I mean, nowadays with sports incorporating women into everything.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Seems like easy to get one hundred and five pound girl.
That's a that's strong enough to do it. What's your
love life like? Are you married? No, I'm not married.
Have you ever been married? Yes? Yeah? How long it lasted?
Two years? Two years? Divorce took longer? Uh huh it
was Did she get half of a Mustang? No?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I didn't have anything at that point, so she was
just happy to get rid of me. I think, huh, okay, kids, Yeah,
we do. We have two kids. Are you done having children?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
If I met the right woman and she was interested
in that, then I would be open to it.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Are you in a relationship right now? I have a girlfriend?
Is she the right person? We're working on things. I
got the perfect person for you. She's just all she's
into his horses, her Oh oh, she's been thirty seven
and she wants to have kids though, that's about the
age you have to have kids with her. You know
you want? Do you want to hear a voice and
(21:08):
when you call her see if she's interested. No, I
think he might like her. Do you let me know.
We'll see. I'll check in on you a few months
from now, and we'll see if you need to Uh
another somebody to date that I got a perfect person.
You call your motorcyclist steel horse. I do you ever
dabbling pony play? I don't even know if you know
a pony plays. That are the weird people on the
(21:29):
internet that like pretend to be horses. No, so the
ones that have the stick horse, yeah they do. Is
that pony player? No pony player, They actually pony play
actually pretends to be a horse, right, hobby horsing. Hobby
horsing is when you just run around on a stick
and pretend jump and all that kind of weird. Yeah,
that's pretty weird. It's also emotional, though. Yeah, sometimes you'll
see them and just cry. Have you always been into horses?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I mean I grew up watching he Man and his
companion was battle Cat. I couldn't really ride that wasn't
a horse a lion, So yeah, the horse was my
battle cat.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I mean sure, if you had a large cat, that'd
be awesome. I once worked add a sanctuary out in
the desert out there with some guys that had illegally,
you know, tooken a bunch of tiny tigers so people
could take photos with them, and then they grew into monsters,
and they're like, what are we going to do with
them now? And so we had to, you know, send
them to different rescue places all over the country. So
(22:28):
I'm out there working probably fifty to one hundred big
cats and in cages that wouldn't hold a house cat
in them. And I'm just out there volunteer and they're
like just clean cleaning all the shit out of there.
They're cannibalizing, eating each other, you know, because there's not
enough food. They're the reward for working there was at
the end of the day, you got to you got
(22:51):
to hose them off, and they were just in heaven
to have water. And I'm just like right just standing
next to a huge tiger with a hose and he's
just eating the water like crazy.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
I was like, ah, this is great. You remind me
of I just dug this pond for him. So I
have a pond in front of the water area, and
it's like it almost looks like you're catching a glimpse
of them feeling like, oh, this is this is what
freedom was. We could have splash in the pond and it's.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Tough, yeah, but their space, they are still getting a
bit of the good life. You get a little bit
of both worlds too, some pampering that would have never
been there. True, very true. What is average day for you?
Like on your ranch?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
It starts at five. I clean the pasture, I feed
the horses, I fill up water, I give them the buckets.
By the time i'm doing doing that, it's about eight
thirty nine o'clock. Then I'll feed myself. I actually have
a raven now, so I feed the raven. When I
feed myself, I'll bring her and put her on the
(23:53):
goat pen.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
What does it cost to feed a horse every day?
I broke it down.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I think the buckets end up being like three or
four dollars a bucket, But hey fluctuates, so a bail
of hay can be anywhere between twenty dollars and thirty dollars.
And if you're smart, you'll cut the middleman out and
you'll just go direct and buy by the ton. But
you can get You can get one hundred and fifty
bills a hay for about two grand, and you can
(24:22):
get five hundred bills a hay for about four grand.
So I usually try to get the five hundred bills,
and that lasts me a lot longer horses.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Are they expensive to take care?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
They are if you don't know what you're doing. Because
somebody that doesn't know how to make the feed themselves,
they're gonna buy all that different feed and they're gonna
scoop it out individually and end up spending five hundred
dollars every two weeks just for feed, whereas I can
spend five hundred dollars in two weeks and make that
last four weeks. So I'm cutting my costs in half.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I mean, it's just a full day. This is just
breakfast time. Where's that nine? Yeah? What time do you
go to bed? I'm usually done right around like nine
nine o'clock. Jeez, so much work? How often are you
getting thrown from a horse every day? Really? Yeah? How's
your body handling that? Because no, you're not How old
are you now? Are you forty? Close to forty? Close
to forty or you're not forty? Yeah? All right. You
(25:15):
can't keep flying off horses.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
No, but people that train horses they learn how to
not fly off.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You can control a jump better than you can control
a fall. Okay, so I'm jumping if I think it's
getting bad, I'm jumping you.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Ever see that mister Hans video. No, this guy guy
was killed having sex with a horse. Wow, it was disturbing.
That sounds disturbing. Apparently it was legal, though in the
state of Washington there was some like beastiality loophole. That
doesn't matter. How many times did day do you say yeehaw?
Hardly have never? Okay? Can you play a harmonica? I can?
(25:50):
Do you play poker? Yep? How many times have you
seen tumbleweed just rolled by you a lot in the desert?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
How hot is it? It gets triple digits? So your
horses don't have a problem with that.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
It's pretty awesome. They don't.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I mean, and I only know because sometimes I don't
wear my shoes. I'll run around. We call it grounding.
What what's called grounding? So you barefoot? You just let
your feet touch the earth.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
We just call it bare feet. Yeah, there's a technical term.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Now okay, but one day I was out there and
it was I we could probably leave this out too.
So I have a campground as well, and we get
a lot of campers that come and they like they
don't use all their party favors, right, And people in
the desert like to participate in the dark arts. Sure,
So they come out there with like bags of mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
I'm gonna leave this in just so you know. So
he comes, he's leaving, and he gives me like this
ziplock bag of mushrooms. I love them.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
So the guy gave you these mushrooms and he was like, hey,
we couldn't finish these.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
You want them? And I was like sure.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I'm sitting there, it's probably maybe two or three in
the afternoon. I just start eating the mushrooms, just eating them.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
You thought it was a snack, for real.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I just thought it was food. I thought it was mushrooms.
That's what he thought he gave you. So I eat
these mushrooms and six years later, the obviously the effects
of it took. It took a little bit, but it started.
I noticed after that the ant pile was like pulsating,
and I felt like the antswer like marching one by one,
(27:26):
and I could see him like dancing to the rhythm.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
They knew you were about to eat. That is that
the last time you've done mushrooms? No, I prefer the
tea now. Actually, okay, well that's fine. Somehow in between
growing up on a reservation in Colorado and being a
cowboy in the desert. You lived in La. Yeah, of
(27:50):
all places, did you hate it here? You know?
Speaker 2 (27:53):
LA's a lot like the desert, beautiful but brutal. A
lot of people come to LA with high hopes and
asper and LA just beats them down. But I really
just came to work. My brother had gotten to a
motorcycle accident, so I left Colorado to come here and
kind of help him recover. No spinal neck or back injuries,
but he was bedridden for like four months. Huh, and
(28:14):
I basically had to be like his housemaid. Did you
have to wipe him everything? It was crazy. My brother
had to wipe me once. When I was in college.
I had broken both arms. I couldn't get behind. Wow, Well,
what a good brother. But then you moved to La.
So did you have culture shock When you first got here?
They shaved me. They cut my hair off. It was
like I looked like a really like a caveman.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I'd been riding horses and training horses the whole time
I was in Colorado, and so when I got to La,
they were like, you can't. You're not gonna be able
to get a job looking like that. You got to
shave and trimming hair or something. So I ended up
getting a job doing security at the Roosevelt Hotel, and
I was working security at the West Hollywood addition. So
my LA experience was different from most people's LA. I
(28:58):
just went to work and kind of take care of
my brother. So opportunities just open. And while I was
taking care of my brother, I couldn't do anything else.
I couldn't really have a job or he required twenty
four to seven care. So finally when he got back
on his feet, he was like, I'm leaving Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
There's no structure. I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I'm moving to Australia. And he said I could have
his apartment for a month and then the lease was up.
So I'm in Beverly Hills and the lease is ending.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
That's where he has. Apartments in Beverly Hills. Apartments in
Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Your brother was doing great, he was doing really well.
He's still doing well. Boy, he's in Australia. Well, he's
back in LA now Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
In Beverly Hills. From eating ants to living in Beverly,
you guys are the real Beverly Hillbillies. You know.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I just kind of was like, this is you know,
this is a culture shock for me because people there
were like even some of the girls I talked to,
they were like, I would be like, you want to
have lunch and they'd be like sure, and I'd be like,
let's meet at subway and They're like, eh, yeah, I
don't need subway And I'm like, what, well, it's disgusting,
all right, and you know that now, right?
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Do you know it? Now they make I don't know, no,
I don't know what they use. But so they sponsor
a great sandwich. It was pretty interesting, right, So you
didn't do well. You didn't do well dating here, not
at all.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
It was just kind of tough because, like I said,
some of the girls they even down to like where
I grocery shopped. I would go I would be like,
let's let's go get something to eat, Let's pick up
some groceries at Ralph's.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Ralph's, that's not good enough. We're going to Bristol Farms. Okay,
That's what I'm talking about. That's why you can't have
an apartment Beverly Hills and go to next year to
tell me that you went to John's. You know, Vaughn's
is garbage. Then John's is below Vaughn. I've never been
to there's a John's. Yeah, it's not good. I used
to take a girl every now and on a date.
We'd go to just the food court thing in Whole
(30:45):
Foods where you just take a box and you fill
it with whatever you wanted. I thought it was fancy enough,
but that wasn't good enough. They didn't like that as
a date. Anyway, you work security at the Roosevelt Hotel
and you believe you saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.
So first, my ninth question that I ask you every guest,
do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely, absolutely believe in ghosts?
(31:06):
And while working at the Roosevelt Hotel, you believe you
saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
True or false? True, and you tried to hit on her. Gosh,
that's true. So I'm working at the Roosevelt. My shift
is two to eleven. I've been there for probably maybe
three months now. And there's like you do what's called
a perimeter patrol. As I'm doing the perimeter patrol, you
go out and around the entire hotel and you come
(31:31):
back through the back and you go in through the
back gate and it brings you into what's called the
beer Garden. And the beer garden is underneath the bridge
that overlooks Tropicana. So Tropicana is the pool area, and
there's the Marylyn Monroe Suite, which is where she lived
quite some time, right there on the edge of the
Tropicana Pool area. So one night, I'm walking through the
(31:52):
beer Garden and out of the corner of my eye,
up on the bridge, I see this woman wearing like
an old white gas and it just looks totally out
of place for twenty eighteen. And she has a really
nice figure with no like just doesn't look like she fits. Okay,
So I walk around, I go up the stairs and
I get up to the top and no one's there,
(32:13):
and I'm looking around, like where did this lady go?
But the Roosevelt's known for being haunted, so there's like
there's a few different places where people see apparitions. When
you said do I believe in ghosts, I think ghosts
are I know this is going to sound desert woo woo,
but I think it's energy.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
So, because Marilyn was there so much and so many
people knew she was there and loved her being there.
There's like this collective energy that she's able to manifest there,
and so that's the best way I can explain her
being there. But that wasn't the only ghost situation there.
So at the Roosevelt there's this room called the Spare Room.
(32:51):
It's like a bowling alley slash bar. We had a
security officer at the spare Room get possessed. Basically, he
I don't know if he was on drugs or what,
but he like started foaming at the mouth, talking this
weird I guess you would call it tongues, just being
extremely weird. We had to remove him from the spare
(33:13):
room and then send him home because he was really.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Because he was having a stroke and you didn't want
to call the hospital. No, he was having some type
of episode. I hope it was a stroke. Yeah, some
of them. Maybe they should have called nine to one more.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
But there was a lot of weird stuff that happened
to the Rose Horse. I mean, oh gosh, I can
tell you stories about the Roosevelt all day. So one
time John legends there they're having a party on the rooftop.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
One of the guys who's there. I hate that I
have to say this, but he.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Was like like his head was on his shoulder, so
his whole, his whole, Both of his shoulders seemed like
they were shifted this way, and his head was like
over here. And people were saying he was a god
from some outer space star series, some crazy stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Right. You ever see those conjoined twins, that one of
them was a cowboy singer, a country singer. It's like
a little one attached to the head, and she was
a country singer. She was like small, and then there
was like a big person that wasn't into country music.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
You never saw them all right, Well he looked that
up sometimes a straight guy in that world. And there
were people who were backing his story. Okay, well they're
all idiots. I always give guests things that are on
my show.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
You ever use a lip bomb, but in the desert,
it's hot, so you need this little lip bomb cooler? Okay,
that way with me. Yeah, you're gonna put that in here.
Let me see that mightsticks might be too big. We'll see.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
That almost looks like yer a toy. No, my friend, No,
it's not a sex toy. My family, my cousin's. I
don't know a cousin's cousin. He invented this. It's got
my initials on it. I'm giving it to you, lovely,
it says chappy. I don't, but so your lip bomb
doesn't melt out there in the desert. Also, you need
a lint roller. My wife buys this stuff in bulk
and I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't know if it's gonna fish it out. But
I had this.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
One West this this you know, it's kind of like
a good looking deum.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Well right, I was like, I haven't even worn it,
and I go, I'm not gonna wear this shirt. I go,
I gotta get I gotta pass it on. So let's me.
But I don't know if it'll fit you because you're
way broader than I am. That's a you don't want
to wear that. Come out to the red No, no, no,
I give you. I give you this shirt. This is amazing. Yeah,
thank you. You're welcome. Dude. You can just set that
all on the ground there. That doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
This is actually pretty cool because chapstick does melt out there.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Well, of course it does not anymore. Now you got
yourself cool little somebody's gonna think this is It doesn't
matter what they think. Okay, you're a man. You can
handle having a little pink dildo in your pocket. What
do people need to do to help your horse sanctuary?
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Come and visit, interact with the horses, see that there's
a benefit. Like you said, you don't have to ride
them to get the benefits.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
You currently have twenty five horses. Fun, how many could
you actually? What was? It's a maximmer. You could probably
hold there.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
When I reverse whiteboarded this, I did it from ninety
Uh huh, I could easily hold ninety.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
But there's there's myself. I mean employees. You got over there.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I have a handful of volunteers and two employees, a
young lady that runs the back office and a young
lady that manages the campground.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
I heard you had a high desert danny out to
your ranch. Yeah, that's our snake lady friend. She calls
herself the rattlesnake wrangler. Huh.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
And a wrangler works horses. Okay, So I was like, hey,
if you're a wrangler, come ride horses with me. And
she was like, I've never been on a horse. I'm
scared of horses. I was like this, okay, you can
come out here. I'll help you out. So she came
out and put her on her trail ride and she
did great. Then she came back. She brought a lot
of weed, uh huh and snakes and it was fun.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Are all these stories true? Are you is a brilliantly
trained character actor. No, they're true. Yeah, you've lived quite
a rich life, that is. It is impressive. You sure
you don't want to take a run at my wife's cousin. No,
I'm telling you, man, I think you're gonna like her.
I'm gonna send her out there. She's all she's just
a horse. I mean, she's in a relationship too. But
(37:20):
well it doesn't man, it's I listen, she wants kids
and she loves horses. You guys, just you're two peas
in a pod. That's all I'm saying. Oh you're gonna
love her, you guys, then we're gonna be family. It's
gonna be weird. I listen. We appreciate everything you do
all the best, Daniel, Thank you so much for having them.
All right, man, I'll see you at the UH at
(37:40):
the next family reunion. Pasha, I want to thank Chris
for being on the show. I can't wait to get
out there and ride that horse. I don't think i'll
do it. I'll be honest with you, I'm not I
don't want to be on top of a horse. I'll
stop by, I'll say hi, but no, no, I'm not
(38:01):
gonna get on a horse. How about you? Have you
ridden a horse?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Carl?
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Can a dog ride a horse? That's a great question.
What's going on? What have you been up to? You
watching Wimbledon? Huh, I'm watching Wimbledon. Sinner? You know the
new current world number one, Alcarez, Love them love Alcarez.
Now you know his haircut's getting a little better. It
(38:27):
started out very poor, now it's getting better. Cinner. The
problem I have with Sinner I've seen him play several times.
I can't wrap my head around a redheaded Italian. It's
just weird. And then when he talks, I'm like, oh,
I keep forgetting you're Italian because he's got red hair,
(38:49):
and I just don't think of Italians as gingers. But
sure enough, they've got gingers over there in Italy. Speaking
of tennis, I watched that movie the other day. What's
it called The One with Zendaya. Oh yeah, challengers. Challengers
didn't know I was embarking on a little soft core porn,
(39:11):
just just all kinds of sex in that. I thought
Zindaia was great. There's no chance that you know, she
should get an award for that. But the story was
silly and ridiculous. My problem with it was I couldn't
believe the time spanned that she was, you know, sixteen
(39:35):
seventeen in the beginning, and then she's thirty something in
the end. It's like, well, you look the exact same.
It's like, oh, oh your haircut, you gave yourself a
bad bob, and now I'm supposed to believe you're older.
That ass ain't thirty mm hmm. Showing her sweet cheeks
in that movie, you believe that? That was uncomfortable. I
(39:56):
was just sitting next to my wife the whole time
watching this movie. Oh, isn't necessary. I don't find that
attractive whatsoever. You know, Yeah, tennis very sexual game. Apparently
that's why I like pick a ball. You know, it's
it's it's less less about the sex and more about
just hitting a ball back and forth over a net.
(40:18):
All right, what's going on boyswearpink dot com. Check out
our clothing line for toddlers. The Goat. All episodes available
now on Prime. We're going on tour. We're doing shows
different places, New Orleans, shows in Hawaii. I think we're
gonna add something in December. We got to find a
place to go in December. Another one of my son's
(40:40):
bedtime stories. See you guys next week. A little story
tonight because I'm really sleepy.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah that's too short. Give me a nice story about
maybe you won't really like it. Well, I'll be the judge.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Okay, Once upon a time they were desulted in the water.
They were listen and told it. But any time they
trast away, how theyd ate them dying time eating either
when they at night time, they do a time out,
(41:22):
and then they then get a sissy. Then and then
the show about a ship signing Nemo, and then I
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Don't swer that that was awful
Host
Daniel Tosh
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