Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, guys, it's that time of year. It's time for
our fifty ninth annual Toss Show super Bowl Pregame special Tashha,
Tosh Show Up, Tosh Show, Cup Show. Welcome to Tosh Show.
(00:21):
Let's get it going. Here we go one two, three
way way. You know what? Doing the wave with a
group of people where only one of them is on camera,
it really loses something. I'm gonna talk a lot of
sports today and that's gonna infuriate some and it's gonna
(00:44):
entertain others. But before we get into that, I gotta
tell you a story about my son the other night
when we were putting them down for bed. Can't believe this.
I overheard my wife wrapping up. I walk in. I
never know what I'm gonna say. I walk into a
room like Kramer, you know, come flying and screaming the
N word. No, I'm kidding. I don't know what's gonna
(01:06):
come out of my mouth. I just yell something at him.
I think it's funny. I just I barged in. I
just started screaming. I found out you lied to me.
That was just being silly, and he just starts bawling, crying. No,
just immediately just starts bawling, crying, and my wife looks
at me like he what in the fuck, And I'm like,
(01:27):
I was just, I was just But then he's he's
like he's scrying. He goes, I only did it twice,
And so then my wife's like, oh shit, it, what
in the world did I just stumble into And he says,
he goes, I've only lied to you twice. One time
(01:48):
was back uh in preschool, which is now a couple
of years ago. Wow. He said that there was a
flower pot that had like a little crystal rock in there,
or crystal rocks in this little flower pot, and he
(02:08):
took one of the crystal rocks. And I was like, okay, well,
I'm glad you told me, and you can always tell
me and we all make mistakes, but you probably shouldn't
have taken it without permission, but that's okay. Oh, And
I go, well, do you want to tell me the
other time I killed a pigeon? No, so the other
(02:32):
you're gonna but you won't believe this, Eddie. The other
time that he lied again, I wasn't fishing for anything.
He stumbled into it. This is ridiculous. I'm just trying
to put him to bed. He's sobbing. He's sobbing through
these confessions and I'm like, it's okay, but he goes.
The other time was I was on a plane with
(02:55):
Eddie and I'm like, oh, and he goes, we were
playing a a card game or some game and he
and I and he goes, I cheated. He said he cheated.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I didn't even catch it either. How bad are my
card games? Where this kid's like getting one over me?
He he So, I'm just letting you know, Eddie that
you should have won. Oh well, that just feel good.
My son cheated you. He beat me. He was sobbing,
he was before bed because he played a game with
Eddie and he said that he cheated during the game.
(03:32):
Like and I'm like, and by the way, some of
his card games are just made up card games anyway,
the rules don't exist. They're not even real games. But anyway, listen,
I'm just the kid is extremely easy to interrogate. I
mean he just immediately folds like origami. I gotta work
with him on that. But that was that was just
(03:53):
the other night. Anyway, let me give you a before
I get into it too. Uh, this this episode, I
want to give you a little update on the fire
situation here in so Cow, a thing no one says.
I want to talk about a few of the upsides
of the fire for me personally, and listen, I'm not
(04:18):
trying to minimize the horrific scope of what happened, but
just for my own sanity, I like to point out
a few of the good things that have happened because
of these fires. One, as you know from watching this show,
I love to give away my stuff, and now with
(04:39):
families that are in such need, I have been going
to crazy town. Like you know, one of the signs
of somebody that's suicidal is they give away all their possessions. Well,
then get ready for me to kill myself because I
am unloading large quantities of stuff. The gifts on the
(05:01):
show going forward are going to I'm gonna take a
hit for a while. There's gonna be some slim pickings
because I'm given just everything away, closed shoes. You know. Hey,
the other day, somebody's like, uh, oh, do you have
I checked in with this family that had lost them.
I'm like, do you guys need dish wear? Because the
(05:23):
guest house where my in laws stay they don't cook.
I watch what they eat. If they don't eat with us.
They have microwave popcorn for dinner. Just weird old people
rationings meal. Yeah, like they don't eat. I'm like, they don't.
And there's full sets of plates and silver they they've got,
(05:46):
you know, twenty of everything. So I left them four,
four plates, four bulls for everything, and then I took
the whatever was left ten or so, you know. I
divvied it up into two piles of six, and that
fair to give to a family need just a set
of six. I gave sets of six to multiple people.
I'm like, great, I can't stop giving away stuff anyway.
(06:10):
If you need anything, and you were affected by the
fire and you're thinking, there's no way he has this
reach out to me. There was a bike. I was like,
my son, I'm like, you're not riding your bike very much.
It's gone. Gave it away. And then people are like, well,
does he still use it? I'm like, not anymore. Your
family uses it. You gotta use it. If you don't
(06:32):
use it, you're gonna lose it. That's the new mantra
in our house. And I tell my someone who's playing
with toys I'm like, come on, buddy, if you give
it away, you're helping somebody else. And he doesn't really
care about that, and I don't blame him, but he's
now like starting to play with everything because he's just terrified.
Ye that he sees me going through the house with
a box and he knows what that means, and it's like,
(06:54):
we got to help somebody. He's like, oh shit, don't
come to my room. Another bright side for me personally
is that the restaurants in the area that are still
open and weren't affected. You know, there's just nobody in there,
which is bad for business, and they'll probably go under
and I'll lose them and that's terrible. But in the meantime,
(07:16):
I get to eat in complete privacy plenty. Oh my goodness.
It's like, I'll take all the tables that you know.
They're like, you know, I, do you want a booth
or table? Do you want to sit inside her out?
I'm like, I'm gonna do both. We'll start we'll do
the first course outside and then as it gets colder,
I'm gonna I'm gonna move into a booth. You guys
(07:39):
just follow me around Before I get into talking football.
I need to quickly rehash some Australian Open. WHOA Yeah.
By the way, I find myself the most patriotic when
I'm watching tennis. It's weird all of a sudden, I
care so much about my country. Tennis and war those
(08:03):
are the two times that I feel the most patriotic.
Let me talk about Mattie Keys. I don't know how
old she is, she's my late twenties. She's been in
tennis since probably eighteen. She's had a long road and
she won. She made it all the way to the
finals and she won. She beat the number one player
(08:26):
in the finals and the number two player in the semis.
And you know, one of them's Russian, one of them's
something else with a bunch of k's in their name,
and I just I just roote against them so hard
because they don't have the personality that I like. But
Mattie Keys did our country proud and won. Now the
bigger story during the Australian Open, and much like Aaron
(08:50):
Rodgers is Djokovic. Djokovic loses the first set and a
tiebreaker and then just quits, retires, and he hears a
handful of booze from the stadium or a lot of booze.
I don't know. I listened, dude, it didn't sound overwhelming.
And and you know, everybody lose their mind because in
the past, you know, he's cried wolf, right. We learned
(09:12):
that story as a child for a reason. It's a thing,
you know. Just because he's really hurt this time doesn't
erase the fact that a couple dozen other times he's
whined about an injury that probably didn't exist. And by
the way, let me say something about booing, and people
are like, oh, how classless of the Australians to boo. Okay,
(09:34):
first of all, it wasn't all of them. You know.
One time I did a show two thousand and one
is my guests at the University of Florida their Gator Grau,
their homecoming big show. It's fifty seven thousand people, the
largest stand up show in the world. And I was opening,
(09:57):
David Tell was featuring Jim Brewer was the headliner. Oh yeah,
well whatever, listen, and anybody that knows stand up nos Ooh,
you don't want to go up after David Tell. Guy's
a monster, you know, he's he's better than all of us.
And there's a you just it's just that's just the fact.
Even if the audience doesn't know it, there'll be an
(10:20):
energy on the next comic we're you're like, whoa you're
Why are you not as great as that other guy? Well, anyway,
during Jim Brewer's set, there was there was a group
or so of people and let's say it was two
hundred people that started booing and and Jim kind of
acknowledged it but didn't really and then you know, did
(10:41):
his okay, did an okay show. But here's my point.
When there's fifty seven thousand people watching you and two
hundred people bow you really loudly, you're gonna be like, oh,
that's a horrible show. But the reality is that's just
a tiny group of people, such a small percentage, right,
(11:03):
The other people could have been loving you. Anyways, getting
back to Djokovic being a little bitch, Okay, a handful
of people booed. First of all, they didn't know how
serious it was. They just saw you and the match
after one set. They paid a fortune to see you
in a major in the semi finals, and instead of
(11:23):
getting to see five hours of tennis, they got to
see forty five minutes who cares and it and it
was let's say it with thirty people that did it,
maybe it was probably less than that, and you just
everybody freaks out. Can you believe the behavior of these
people that the Australian fuck you, it's a it's a game.
(11:46):
You're you're performing a game. And the guy out there
that quit is a dick. So yeah, they booed, who cares,
he's very booable. Yeah he's booable. Don't act like he
hasn't been a dick his whole career. He has. And
then he of course he uh tweets out his MRI
(12:06):
and it's like, okay, this is for all you couch
doctors out there to show that he has a tear
in his muscle. I'm like, god, damn it, you just
you just proven my points. You just tone deaf, don't
get it. I'm sorry you're injured. Hope you heal up
(12:27):
in time for Indian wells in two months, when I'll
be there booing the ship out of you.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
If he comes out and everybody just starts booing to
be funny, that'd be amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah they won't. They'll clap heat a respectful that's and
that's what's dumb about tennis. It's not it's not fun
on that aspect. Well, I'll have to be quiet. And
they hit the ball, You're not supposed to clap if
one player hits it into the net. That's you're not
supposed to applaud an unforced air. You're only supposed to to,
(13:00):
you know, applaud if your player wins a point on
their own and then god forbid, they they hit the
net and it bounces over in their favor, then they
have to apologize to the other player, and they have
to make sure that they see the apology with a
hand gesture, be like, I'm sorry I won that point
(13:21):
that my ball hit the net. I wish it would
have fallen on my side since I didn't hit it
perfectly enough. I'm fucking stupid, you know what. The more
I talk about tennis, the more I realize I hate it.
Oh switching hat and them switching hats. Getting back, getting
back to my true love. No, getting ready for the
super Bowl? And now are we allowed to say super
(13:41):
Bowl or does this podcast have to be stupid and
call it the Big Game? The Big We don't want
to get sued by the NFL because we're talking about
the Super Bowl. I've never understood that. Enjoy Pasha, all right,
super Bowl fifty nine. I think it's number fifty nine.
(14:04):
Ed's right here, fifty nine. You know how to translate
Roman numerals, not at all. Just call it twenty twenty
five championship with the regular season that was in twenty
twenty four. This country's too stupid to understand Roman numerals
at this point, and we stopped learning how to write cursive.
Stop pretending letters or numbers. That's what I say. You know,
(14:25):
I'm gonna call it swifty Bowl two. Yeah. By the way,
Taylor Swift, she proudly calls herself a childless cat lady,
But you know, how often is she even seeing these cats?
I feel like she's just always gone, She's just always traveling. Yeah,
she's out a lot, she's never home. I don't care
how much you love your cats. Nobody travels with their cats.
(14:49):
That's disgusting. Anyway. My favorite part of any Chiefs game
is always the camera pan to the Taylor Swift box,
you know, watching her have to be cordial to Britney, Maga,
Mahomes and whatever the name of. Butcker's handmaid is of
(15:12):
Kicker anyway. So this year's Taylor's Chiefs verse Eddies Eagles
in New Orleans. Oh yeah, Darleans. I worry about Narlans.
You know they recently had snow. Can you imagine if
(15:32):
the Levies break again because of an avalanche? Oh my goodness,
that would be the worst disaster, Eddie. Now you're a
die hard Eagles fan? True or false?
Speaker 2 (15:43):
True?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
When did you become an Eagles fan?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I remember nineteen eighty They're in the Super Bowl, lost
in Louisiana in the Superdome to the Raiders.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Listen to that, listen to that childhood Oh yeah, but
what you said in the eighties or nineteen eighties, nineteen
think before the probably two years before that. So you've
been a fan for a long time. Well, how are
you feeling? Are you nervous about this game? Are you excited?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Excited?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Chiefs? Chiefs are going for the three pete you know,
speaking of back to back champions I'd be remiss if
I didn't bring up the Dolphins undefeated seventy two season,
and by the way, they won the championship the following
year in seventy three. And then I was conceived in
seventy four. That's right, my parents were still riding high
(16:30):
football family.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Woo oh.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
We love the Dolphins and they love sex, unprotected unprotected sex. Oh,
that was good stuff. Speaking of your Eagles, Dylan back there.
You know the guy that fucks this show up constantly.
He die hard Giants fan. Yeah, let's go, Dylan. Are
(16:57):
you gonna watch the game?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Oh my goodness. The Super Bowl should be blacked out
in New York and the Giant should be forced to
sell their team. Agreed, They've proven they don't understand football. Listen,
we've made owners sell their teams because of being racist.
You're gonna tell me that getting rid of Barkley to
(17:23):
keep Daniel Jones till later in the year, just cut him.
You're saying that's not worse, that's egregious. Yep, I mean
has nothing to do with being racist. It's just just
stupidity on a level that you're like, you know what,
I'd rather my owner be racist than this fucking dumb
You know what they should do. They should force the
(17:43):
Giants and Jets to merge a merger. Yeah, you know,
one team won three games and then the good team
won five. Ah, not to mention they're both in Jersey.
Oh wow, Yeah, this is complete nonsense. Market doesn't deserve
two teams. New Jersey deserves a team, the New Jersey
(18:04):
little people crop dusters. And as long as Aaron Rodgers
is the quarterback, the team isn't allowed to have a
medical staff, no medical tent on the sideline, just a
yurt where they can do ayahuasca. He was concussed it's
(18:24):
mandatory that he heads to the yurt. I mean, let
me talk about some Super Bowl facts here. You know,
the New England Patriots have the most losses in Super
Bowl history. Did not know it? Imagine how many Super
Bowl wins they would have Josh Allen or their quarterback,
Oh yeah, and telling me that Bill Belichick, with his
amazing defenses and cheating, wouldn't have been able to string
(18:49):
together a few more Super Bowl wins had they not
had the greatest of all time, but instead Josh Allen.
By the way, congrats to Bill Belichick. I respect that move,
getting back into coaching at the University of North Carolina
so that he could be closer to his college sophomore girlfriend.
I didn't see it. I couldn't get through the joke
(19:11):
without laughing speaking of Belichick the games on Fox, which
means we're all gonna have to labor through. Tom Brady
panicking did not sound like a moron. The goat the
greatest of all time until the end of the game
when we could all be like, all right, Patrick Mahomes
is now the greatest of all time. No one's ever repeated,
I'm excited for the halftime you Eddie Kendrick, Kendrick was
(19:36):
he got sizza with him, right man? These lyrics are
you know, known for being explicit. I'm worried. I'm terrified,
you know, enjoying it with my children that it's not
going to be family friendly.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Do you think he'll sing not like us.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Because Drake slapped him with a lawsuit trying to prevent
him from playing his biggest hit. No, that was that
was a bitch move, Drake, bitch move. No, of course
he's gonna play it now. If he filed that in Canada,
we won't recognize that in America. So certified lover boy,
(20:14):
certified pedophile? What what? What? What? What get him? Kendrick?
Do what you do? I don't like it. Sorry, it's
just off topic, but on topic. I hate when comics, Uh,
create a scenario that doesn't exist just so they can
tell their joke. But I'm about to do that. Okay, okay.
(20:36):
Imagine for a second if Kanye West were doing the
halftime show and then mid performance, Taylor Swift comes out there,
nudges him off stage, takes his microphone. He's like, no, no,
I'll take care of it. I'll take over from here.
(20:57):
That would be I mean, that would be the ultimate
pay back, Like, look at this. I held onto this
for so long, but oh that'd been good. You excited
about the commercials? What are you? My wife? Am I
excited about the commercials? Yeah? The commercials? Oh yeah, no,
I'm never excited about the commercials, but like, might do
(21:18):
something cool. It's the only reason I try to watch
the super Bowl live because it's infuriating to not fast
forward to get back to the game if I'm like,
if I'm back a half hour or something like that.
So I watch. But it's such a waste of money,
(21:39):
all this money, these commercials, just trying to figure out
how to market to gen Z. We know how to
market to gen Z. It's podcast. It's YouTube. You find
the right YouTube channel that has a podcast on it
hosted by a comedian in their late forties. Problem solved,
and you save at least half the money you were
(22:00):
gonna spend on a Super Bowl commercial. You give the
money to me. Forget a thirty second spot. I'll ramble
on for three and a half minutes. I'll even do
the dumb disclaimer stuff at the end. Now I won't
do like there's certain products I won't do. But for
the most part, I'm a little pig, all right. I'm
(22:23):
just saying, you get more bang for your buck over here.
I love All States commercials, you know, especially the ones
with Andy Reid. Andy Reid underrated actor, extremely funny, almost
funny enough to forget that all state pold coverage in
the state of California and fucked over everyone who lost
everything in the fires. I'm sure they'll have the game
(22:44):
on whichever fem a tent super Bowl party they attend.
Probably gonna have a great spread too, probably a seven
layer dip from Kirkland's signature while the kids are crying
saying when do we get to go home? Mommy? Never?
Never All State. Imagine if companies this year said, oh,
(23:09):
instead of putting a commercial out, we've decided to just
donate this money to families in need in Alta. Dina. Wow,
I'd support that company just putting it out there. Now.
I know people are gonna be betting on this game,
Lord knows I will. I'm gonna be in Vegas performing
(23:30):
at the Cosmopolitan. Guys, come out. I'm there the night
before Saturday night. Come to the show. I usually spend
most of my money on the props. I'm gonna be
doing silly bets just to make it interesting the whole
way through the game. You know, first to score, last
to score, how long the first field goal is going
(23:50):
to be? All of those? Those are my favorites. But
we need to check in with some experts. And since
I don't know any experts, we'll just check in on
the people that are in my circle see what their
thoughts are on the big game. Let's check in on
Philadelphia comedic legend. No disrespect to Eddie, I don't really
consider you a Philly guy. My dad's from there, right,
(24:13):
But I'm gonna check in Philly legend comedian Todd Glass.
If anyone knows sports, it's comedian Todd Glass. Hold on,
my February is wide open.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I have some dates available in April and June if
you need me. And also my summer's pretty much free too.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I wish so much that that was just your outgoing message, Todd.
As a legend in the Philadelphia area, you have to
be so excited about this Super Bowl. Do you know
who's playing in the Super Bowl? First and foremost? Well,
(24:59):
I know that are playing. Are you a fan of
the Eagles?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Well, I'm not not a fan, but I don't really
follow sports.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Uh huh, I understood. So give me a score. Oh
Jesus Christ, can I have no fucking give me a score?
Oh you're really gonna make me just get you even
know what's You have to know what scores are to guess?
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Okay, I'm gonna say, is it points?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
They get? What they get? Thirty to forty? Is that? Yes,
it's thirty to forty. They win thirty to forty. There's
nothing wrong with that. I love it. I'm gonna bet money.
I'm gonna bet money the actual score ends thirty to
forty and I'll let you know how that pans out.
Oh man, thank you so much. All right, I will
talk to you soon, Todd.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Is your question when I got you on the phone
real quick. Yeah, I feel like you know the old
days that Don Ripples and Johnny Carson. Can you never
invite me over your house for anything?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Come over?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Nah?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
You say that, but just what up going on? We'll
talk about it off the air, but I'll put it
out the closed. No, I'm talking for the last year.
You never said, oh, we're having people over. You must
have people over your house sometimes. I gotta get you
over to the house. Bye. You heard it from Todd.
(26:22):
Let's see. Let's see what my mom thinks. Let's check
it on mom.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Are you there?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Hey? I need your Super Bowl prediction. I don't like.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Either teams, but I'm sick. I'm tired of Kansas City winning.
I wanted Buffalo to win.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
You wanted Buffalo to win, but you were wrong. Okay,
And now who do you want to win the Super Bowl?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
I guess Philadelphia because I'm tired of the Chiefs winning.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You like Taylor Swift though.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
No, No, I'm not a Taylor Swift fan at all.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
What about Patrick Mahomes? Patrick Mahomes?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
No?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
What about Andy Reid? No?
Speaker 2 (26:57):
See, Grandpa likes Dad likes all them, but I don't
know you likes and Andy Reid. I don't like Andy Reid.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
All right, so you're you're you're all in on the Phillies.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I'm going through.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
What what's the give me your give me your final score?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Oh, Danielle, what are you doing? Don't don't do this
to me? Score thirty two to to twenty seven?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
All right? That seems that seems fair. That's a that's
an exciting game. Yeah, that's gonna that means that means
hamm or the over. How much are you gonna bet
on the game.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I'm not gonna bet anything.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
You don't gamble?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
I don't No.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Is gambling wrong?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I don't know gambling is wrong? Is gambling wrong to you?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Not to me? I love it? It's so fun, all right.
I gotta go good pick on the game? You're always
is Is this a phone.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Call for I thought you were FACETI isn't going to
go on the air, is it?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
No? I gotta go bye?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Birds? What Jesus you know? We should check in on
Let's check in on my father in law, see if
Greg's got any hot tips. What's up, brother? Hey, Let's
let's get your let's get your sports picks for the
Super Bowl. I gotta get him on the air. Who
(28:20):
you got, oh man? Uh got to be the Chiefs.
Gotta be the Chiefs. Uh huh? High scoring? Are we
taking the over?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Uh that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I'm gonna say no. But the Chiefs one.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
What's the spread? I haven't even seen it.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Spread's got to be under three and a half, one
and a half, one and a half. I said mine
is under three and a half, and it's two and
a half. It's one and a half. Now Chiefs are.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
One and a half point picks.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
I still think.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
They pull it off.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I mean, as he said, you got to beat the
champ to be the champ.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
So I'm gonna go with the champs.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
All right, talk to you soon, Thanks, Daniel. Let's called
Pete's wife. Oh she gots sing songs. H She'll sing
this fight songs. That's all she does. Oh the dumbest
the way they answered the phone.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
What's up?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I just said, I'm calling. I'm calling Pete's wife. And
then and then Eddie got so excited because he knows
that you're gonna sing the fight songs? But who? First
of all, who's playing in the super Bowl? Okay, I
actually know this.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
It's the Chiefs and the Eagles.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Uh huh, and didn't they were the ones that played
last year. No, two years ago, a couple of years ago,
a couple of years ago.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
But yes, okay, fine, never do.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
You know where the super Bowl is being played?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Nope, nope, not a clue.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Tell me who's gonna win the super Bowl and what
the score is going to be?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Okay, I think it's gonna be the Eagles, and I
think it's gonna be twenty one seventeen.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Boring game. I don't know why those are random numbers.
Any two point conversions attempted or completed in the game.
These are prop bets that I'm gonna want to know about.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, so I I'm not entirely sure what.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
That means, but yeah, there's probably gonna be one. Okay,
what about a safety? Thinks there'll be a safety in
the game. That's a big prop bet.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
That's like, yeah, there probably will be one of those.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Oh interesting, all right? Yeah? Sing sing the Chiefs fight song?
Oh the Chiefs? Okay, Chiefs. That's not a song. Yeah,
I think that is the stadium. Do you you hang
out with Eddie enough? Do you actually know the Eagles
(30:42):
fight song?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I know that he always tweets like fly eagles fly.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, that's it, all right, that's it.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Eagles fly.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
No, there's okay. And that's not what an eagle sounds
like anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
You know you never heard Eddie make Eddie make it,
Eddie make an eagle noise?
Speaker 2 (31:09):
This awful animal.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
This is what I do for a living, all right, Sam,
I gotta go. I tell you you want inside sports information.
You know who you go to the French. Your call
has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to
reach is not available at the tone. Please record your message.
(31:34):
He just texted me, I'm on the plane. I'm gonna
get him. He's gonna do it. I can get him
to answer the phone. He was like refusing to answer. Pierre, Pierre,
I know you're on a I know you're on a plane.
(31:55):
Who's going to win the Super Bowl? Insults Kansas Kansas?
All right, thank you by Jesus kensas Kansas, Kansas. The
fact that he knew Kansas City was in good for him.
(32:17):
I didn't see that coming. Well, it's clear that everyone
in my circle is excited about the big the big game,
the game that's so big it has to be called
the Super the Super Big Game, the game that's so
super it's big, and it's a bowl, the fifty ninth
Super Big Game Bowl. I like it, Tasha.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
All Right.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
This segment of Tasha's Teasers Fan Edition is brought to
you by Draft Kings. Who's this person? They wrote, it'll
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both teams score a point minimum in each of the
(33:10):
four quarters. Now, if the game goes to overtime, does
it have to be both teams scoring overtime because that
gets trickier. I don't know, I need to know. But
plus six hundreds, So you bet one hundred, you wins,
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(33:32):
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Speaker 3 (33:51):
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(34:14):
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Speaker 1 (34:29):
Pasha Well, I want to thank no One for being
on the show today. I'm excited about the Super Bowl
and I hope Travis pops the question. Let's get some
plugs out of the way. Uh tossshow store dot com.
Get some merch, guys. We should be having some new
(34:50):
stuff dropping. Eddie's tour dates. Come see him and he'll
be with me on my tour. Gonna be in Vegas
this weekend. Of course, new dates are on sale now.
We're gonna be in New York, New Brunswick, New Jersey, Carl.
We're going to Kansas City, Omaha, somewhere in Middle America, Minneapolis,
the Twin Cities, Saint Paul. We're gonna show you love Milwaukee.
(35:15):
Gotta love Milwaukee, I really do. Milwaukee is a great city. Madison,
you know you're wonderful. Chicago, that'll be fun too. I
hope I don't get killed. Yeah, I know that happens
every six minutes in Chicago. Someone just shot dead. All right,
go to Daniel Tosh dot com for those Also, Hey, Carl,
(35:36):
I believe I'm gonna leave you at home and head
over to Lisbon and do a show there. I haven't
officially decided, or maybe I have. I don't know. I
just I just know that that that I don't speak Portuguese,
and uh, I'm not going to attempt to whatever. Come
to see me if you speak English and want to
(35:57):
hear my nonsense, and you live over in Lisbon. I'm
gonna to come. I'm gonna do a show. Eddie's been
trying to write me jokes that I can use in Lisbon.
What do you call a bird that lives in Lisbon? Portuguese? Portuguese?
Come sorry side for our free plug hit the music
(36:20):
all right? Wasn't ready for that? Like Enya or something
that's interesting. Oh, today's free plug, guys, I couldn't be
more happy to do this free plug. Today's free plug
is for doctor Camerava. Now let me tell you something
about this guy over in Encino, California. During the evacuation,
(36:44):
started to feel pain in my tooth okay, and I
was like, oh no, now is not the time. I
can't get to my dentist. Roads were closed, you know,
I'm with my family. Days turned into weeks. Pain was
starting to get excruciating. People are going through real stuff,
and in my mind, I'm like, I don't really give
(37:06):
a shit my tooth hirts. Okay, I can't get to
my dentists because of road closures. I go to my
wife's Dennis. We have separate dennists. Don't worry about that.
We keep our assets separate. Okay, she can't afford my dentist.
That's not as neither here nor there. Anyway. I go
to her dentist. He's like, I don't do root canals.
I'm like, great, now I showed up at a place
(37:28):
and they can't even do it.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Well.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Then I find out I call my dentist, say I
have an X ray sent to him, and he's like,
I don't do I don't do root canals either, And
I'm like, what, Dennis, apparently don't do root canals. You
go to a specialist. And that's where uh comra Vaugh
comes in. Doctor Comravaugh. He he referred my dentist, refers
me to this guy. He's like, go check this guy out. Now,
(37:51):
let me tell you something. This guy says, I don't
have any openings tomorrow, but if something available opens up,
i'll get you in. I'm like, God, that's nice enough.
But he gets me in the day after. Okay, I
show I've never had a root canal. I don't even
know what happened. It's you know, your your nerve is
dying and the tooth is dying, and they drill in.
(38:13):
They drill out the nerve. So I'm nervous. You know,
I've always heard by the way the movie uh Rad
nineteen eighty seven BMX movie Bill Allen, there's a scene
in there where Bill Allen is riding his bike with
his little sister. He picks her up from school on
his BMX bike. She stands on the back peg she's
(38:34):
holding onto his back and he uh. He takes her
through a sprinkler and gets his sister a little wet
on the bike ride home, and then he says, huh, Wes,
wasn't that wasn't that fun? And she says like a
root canal?
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (38:49):
What was that? Fuck with my whole life? Until I
was way older, I couldn't understand the way she said it,
because I think she has a lollipop in her mind.
I always thought she said like a rinkiner, and I
never understood what that meant when she wrote her back there,
Oh wasn't that fun? Wes like a rinkiner, like Richard?
(39:13):
And then when I got much older, I was like, oh,
she's saying like a root canal. I shouldn't have brought
that up during the free plug, but here we are,
so anyway, here's the problem. You go in and he
does a thorough exam and he's like, just so you know,
finding where the problem is is a bit primitive, but
(39:33):
the work I do to fix it is not. And
I'm like okay. So he's basically starts tapping on my tea.
He's like, which tooth is it? And I'm like, it's
this one back here, and he's tapping on it. He's like,
just raise your hand if you feel any discomfort, it
doesn't hurt. And he's checking, by the way, four teeth away.
He's like, I think it's this one. And I'm like,
(39:54):
am I that bad that I don't know where the
pain is? And he's doing all these different things to
see if he can pinpoint yet, yes, this is the tooth.
Then at one point he stops and he tells me.
He goes, okay, I'm ninety five percent sure it's this tooth.
You said it was this tooth three teeth away. I
think it's this tooth. He goes, you can wait a
(40:16):
couple weeks or a month until it gets really bad,
and then it's going to be obvious to all of
us which tooth it is. Where it's waking you up
at night, blah blah blah, the pain is constant, or
we can go forward at this And I was like,
I really appreciated him just giving me numbers. Nobody ever
does that. Nobody ever says ninety five percent sure, it's this.
(40:38):
I just like that. I'm somebody that responded. Well. Then
he's like, well, let me try one more test. And
the only reason that he was so probably at ninety
five is because I told him as a different one.
But anyway, he does a final test and he goes,
you know what, I'm ninety nine percent sure, okay, jumped up. Yeah,
And I'm like, go for it, buddy, fix it. And
(40:58):
he does this thing. He numbs your mouth. By the way,
I've never had a root canal, and I've always I've
always been told it's horrible. I feel nothing. And he's
drilling this tiny hole down there and he's he's, uh,
you know, he's disinfecting it. He puts his thing on.
He goes, this is a pain, but I'm gonna hold
this thing on there. I don't know what it's doing,
but it's some type of disinfecting thing. It's got to
(41:19):
be on there for nine and a half minutes. And
I'm like, oh, that's that's long. That's a long time
to hold your mouth open, you know. But he does
it fine, and he's like, you know, normally when you
get a root canal people then they put a crown
over the top. Here's either My holes are so tiny
and precise. You know, your your dentist may recommend this
(41:39):
later to not to put some covering over, but you
don't need to. I'll seal it up as when we
come out, and you don't need anything. And sure enough,
I'm in there. I'm in there for a while, hour,
fifteen minutes for you know, oh long time does get
to that ninety nine percent positive? And then he does
the procedure and then I leave and he's like, you
(41:59):
may feel discomfort for the first week, and you might
want to stick to soft foods or eating on the
other side of your mouth, but I didn't. I felt
nothing the very next day. Just perfect. And I just
love that because anytime you have something wrong with your body,
you go to a doctor and they're like, oh, I
think we should do this, and you're like, oh great,
and then that doesn't fix it, and you come back
(42:21):
six more times, and it's just nice to go to
a place where guy's like, ah, here's the problem. Boom,
fix it. You leave, You're not in pain anymore.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Done?
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Yeah, doctor Comrava. I loved him. The guy was in
and out. Fixed it, feel no pain, surgery felt nothing.
And he even said to me, he goes out, just hey,
if you know anybody that ever needs any procedure, you,
you know, appreciate a recommendation. I'm like, well, look at
he didn't know who I was. He called me the
wrong name at one point, and I'm like, oh shit,
(42:55):
I'm not going to get special treatment. This guy has
called me David all right. Anyway, he's a dentist that
does root canals. Comrava's endodontric training and experience was provided.
It's provided him with the ability to treat all types
of endodontic cases. All cases performed by him are done
(43:17):
so with the use of a surgical operating microscope. But
don't call him to schedule a cleaning. His practice is
limited to entodontics. That's doctor Comrava in Encino and listen,
I didn't I'm not. You guys are like, oh, he's
doing the free plug and he's gonna get something to
(43:38):
return I'm not. I just wanted to reward the guy
for doing great work. Hey, I got charged. I mean
I've got good insurance, don't get me wrong, but there
was still a copay thing or something. They hit me
up for two hundred and fifty bucks. I paid that happily.
You fix my fucking mouth. Have you ever seen an endodontist?
I didn't even know the word enodontist existed before days
(43:58):
free plug see next week