June 25, 2024 • 32 mins
Welcome to ‘Two Guys, Five Rings’! On this episode, hosts Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang open the door on the 2024 Olympic Games and let you into the iconic arenas of Paris and beyond (surfing in Tahiti!). As we tour the venues, Matt and Bowen highlight some of the dramatic storylines, setting the stage for what’s at stake for the athletes come July. Find out how Lady Gaga, Simone Biles, and Keira Knightley ALL have a place on our Olympic podium! Start your journey to Paris with Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, girl, hey girl, let's go down the shoet, which
let should be established a little greeting.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I think we have to find it. What do we do? Like,
do we just say two guys five rings? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Or we say or we say ring the word ring
five times?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh that's good, that's good. I love that.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Okay, okay, okay, here we go, ring ring, ring, ring ring?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Wow? And would you believe we just created that gold?
Like Bowen, I have to give I have to really
give you the credit because we sort of canonically and
iconically come onto our podcast Last Culturistas with Ding Dong
and then who you are saying? Ring ring, ring, ring ring?
This is a natural.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Progress sort of analog. Well, after all, this is our
new podcast, two Guys, five Rings, where we talk all
things Olympic.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yes, for those of you who sort of arrived here
because you want to hear about sports and didn't even
know who we are, I'm Matt Rogers, I co host
the Lost Cultura's podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And I'm Bowen Yang. I also co host The Lost
Cultursa's podcast. Now, would you say that we typically cover
anything athletic on our let's say, day job show.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I actually don't remember the last time we spoke about
sports or athletics at all, which is and a lot
of people might be surprised to hear us hosting this podcast,
and what we would say to those people is we're
surprised too. But really, I guess this makes us like
sort of a podcast for the Olympics for the every day.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Absolutely, I think we are the surrogates for people who
have seen challengers and think that is enough sports for me.
But that's not true. There is no ceiling on sports.
Wouldn't you say.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
There is no ceiling on sports, especially this Olympics because
it's the summer Olympics. Buton and this is really going
to happen outside, and it's gonna happen in Paris, and
Paris I heard has beautiful outside. Now I know you've
been to Paris, so don't pretend that you've not been
to Paris. Now, I know you've seen the outside of Paris.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Oh, I was not putting up any pretense that I
have not been to Paris. I was just starting up
a conversation for you and the listener to discuss Paris,
the beauty of Paris.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Have you been to Paris in the summer?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I happened to Paris in the summer. I've been very
lucky to be in Paris in the summer hot but
and the people are hotter, oh honey.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And it's about to get even hotter because these athletes
are coming now. I would say if we ever talked
about the Olympics on our podcast, it probably would have
to do with, you know, just how hot some of
the athletes really are. Actually, just the other day, we
had a conversation about winter olympian Apollo anton Ono being
sexually formative for you specific But but you're saying that
(03:02):
he wasn't for you.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
We know, I Paula's friend. No, I'm just kidding. I yes,
absolutely Listen.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I feel like an awakening.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
For me is more. I'm going to speak more collectively,
like any men's gymnastics event. I oh yeah, I kind
of real I re realize what I'm put on this
earth to do, which is to watch people with bodies
do amazing things with those bodies.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of that this summer.
There's gonna be a lot of that this summer, I guess.
Today on today's episode, we're here to talk about the
top storylines. Two guys, five rings. There's some storylines happening
that are there's really narratives and really there's Every Olympics
is a dramatic story, you know what I mean? Like that,
(03:51):
that's what's so great about it.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
The Olympics are soap operas writ large, wouldn't you say
on the world stage?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You know? On our other podcast, what we do right
now is say that's a rural of culture, but not
what we can't but.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
We can't right here now, just to give everybody a
general lay of the land for what we'll do in
this podcast. Every episode we will discuss a different angle
of the Olympics. Today, as Matt has said, we were
discussing the top storylines going into Paris twenty twenty four,
and then in future episodes we will talk about specific athletes,
(04:25):
specific events. Gosh, what else, I mean, what else is
there to the Olympics besides those things? The village?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Oh yeah, I think we we definitely. That's actually one
of the things I'm most interested in is to be
totally honest with you and with you in transparent Like
for me, I want to hear about the horniness of
the Olympic village, like if if at any point we
can have someone from the ground like sort of report in,
like I would love to hear even if and this
is just any athlete that hears this and wants to
(04:54):
come in and we can do that that creepy voice thing. Yes,
if no, I think he wants to go on the
record and someone's just come spill all the tea about
how Hornett gets in the Olympic village, I'd be interested
in that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I would be very interested in that. If you are
listening and you work for the IOC, and you were
the person who designed the single bunk bed cot situation
that is supposed to discourage athletes from engaging in sexual encounters,
please come on this podcast. We will distort your voice
to protect your identity.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Also, first of all, you can't. You can't sort of
stop athletes. I'm sorry, you can't. I'm sure that they
run their heats, they swim their heats, they perform their heats.
In the case of I guess the synchronized swimming, which
I guess is now has a different name. It's now
(05:48):
and it's now.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Oh gosh, we were just briefed on this by our
lovely producers. Give it up for our producers, by the way,
they're going to be doing a lot of work well
right now in the Zoom. We have Vents, we have Jason,
we have Sean. We have a whole star lineup of
producers with us, and we're grateful to them. Mostly what's
going to happen on this show is we're going to
be fed some wonderful information by these people who actually
(06:11):
do care about sports. They that we don't care, but
these are people who live in breed sports and know
how to communicate those facts to us. And we are
the lens through which those things get refracted onto you,
the audience. And we were great.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
We are but a vessel.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
We are but a vessel.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
And here's something I know about sports. You, me and
our three producers. We could be a basketball team, a squad.
There are five of us, a squad. We could be
a basketball squad. I know this from chiefly from watching
Space Jam.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I was just going to be a Space Jam.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I did play basketball as a kid. This is this
is actually a topic I wanted to bring up with
you before we get into the actual information. When is
the moment you have peaked athletically, What is the fastest
you've ever run? What can you look back on in
your life and say that was a moment where I
was physical the house down.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
That's really tough. Can the answer be there is no moment.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well, lately you've been working it in the gym, but
that's not the same as sports. Okay, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Well, can I say there was a two week period
where I was a member of the YMCA on Atlantic
Avenue in Brooklyn, New York, and I was getting into
that pool with all of the toddlers and our lovely
elders in the community, and I thought, you know what,
I'm healthy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
And then two weeks in, I thought, I'm not going
to be in this skin soup as it were, like.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It's very much skin soup at a public pool. And
I will say this, this is an athletic thing. I
got athletes foot at my gym, and I don't want
to gross anyone out, but these are the kinds of
things that athletes go through. This is injury. I've been
doing an injury which is by my own hand. I
got athletes foot from what showering with no shower shoes.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You gotta get the shower shoes.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I thought I could trust my community.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
No no, no, and make sure when the shower shoes
go home. First of all, you take a bag from
the swim trunk dryer above the swim trunk dryer in
the locker room, put your shower shoes and.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
That go home.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
The first thing you better be doing is wiping those
down with lyesol.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Guys say, I hope that all the athletes are listening
right now. This is good stuff. They need to be
writing this down lifesol. Seriously, go the extra mile, as
it were. And I'm not just talking about my long
distance runners. I'm talking about everyone. Go the extra mile
in terms of protecting your feet and body this summer Olympics.
One thing about Bowen Yang is he really doesn't even
(08:42):
have to run because his legs are so strong that
he actually at a walking speed is faster than any runner.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Hmm. Thank you, my sweet honey, my sweet dear.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
You should see him when he needs to go somewhere.
And can I say something that my friend Matt Rogers
is it depends fare to say classic lie swimmers built. Yeah,
you know, had they had swimming in my high school,
I would have done that instead of track and field,
which I did do you know? Just to answer the
question for myself, I was a little track and.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Field you were a track and curly guy. Oh and
it really it all kind of fits into the biography
really well. I think, what is this.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
We've been doing this now for ten minutes and forty seconds.
This is I literally said to myself, how long am
I going to be able to go without saying my
mile time?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Come on, give it to us.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It's happening now at a minute eleven, four minutes and
thirty six seconds. Oh wow. See bons jaw dropped and
he knew the information. Well, anytime I'm reminded, it's like
who cares about me? Like scoring well on the SATs
like every either no, no, no, but what I care about?
And this is like this is like a prince in
(09:54):
the Popper situation, like I would rather have a for
an under five minute month mile then know anything about math.
This is the classic thing with you and I, the
alphabet and Glinda of it all, like it is the
two sides of the same coin. It is had you
can't and this actually is true. And again we would
say it was a real culture if this is our podcast,
but we cannot. We can you cannot have a By
(10:17):
the way, it's not just scoring well on those tests.
You hate a perfect score on the ACT. Okay, a
thirty six Okay, let's talk about that. You cannot have
a thirty six on the ACT and a four to
thirty six mile. You can't. You'd be assassinated by jealous people.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Oh my god, but they're out there, Matt.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I know, I'm so scared.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I know, let's get back on topic. We're here to
talk about the Olympics.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
We're here to chat about the Olympics. And but now
I just think you sort of get a sense of
our lens. I think what we really did there. But
is we set this podcast up. Now everyone has the
love expectations that they need for us and our Olympic
know how, it's really just gonna be a little bit.
I mean, we're we're we're what is it. We're Waldorf
and statlering.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
This Statler and Waldorf absolutely Muppet reference, Muppet reference. And
we've mentioned on this Olympics podcast Elsaba and Glinda and
Sis Datler and Waldorf, and.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
There's gonna be so much more, well just kidding, we're
gonna get into the actual Olympics. But we're going to
take a quick break and we're gonna come back with
real Olympic commentary.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
We're bad, sure are now, Matt. Before we before we
talk about our top stories going into the Paris Games
twenty twenty four, let's just do a general exchange of
what are your What do the Olympics mean to you?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Great music? Can I say I love hearing the music?
I love hearing the Olympic theme. I don't know if
I could sing it for you right now? Could you? Yeah, yes,
yes you can sing it.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
If I can sing it, you can sing it.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I kind of gave flute, you kind of gave trombone,
and that's kind of what we give.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And that's what we give, flute and trombone.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
What about you? What jumps out when you think Olympics?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I think I truly do get emotional at the idea.
And this is what the five rings concept is. It
is the continents of the world coming together to all five.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
All five.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
No, well, look it's America's Asia, Africa, Europe. People forget Oceania.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Oceania, enisod is that sort of what Australia is.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
It's like Australia And then you know your your your
islands above those Pacific islands, and then Antarctica we count
out unfortunately, because the penguins are competing.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
No, they're certainly not, and I wouldn't want them to
because can I tell you something, They cheat nasty, they're cheekers,
and they dope, they're cheating dopers. And let me tell
you something, if you expect to win against the penguin
in the ice luge.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Oh, the Summer Olympics at the same.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
You're in denial. Hunt, You're in denial. So well, let's
get into it. These are the top storylines of the
Olympics this year. First of all, we said it, will
say it again. Paris. Paris landmarks are going to be
a backdrop to these games, including like the opening ceremony.
This is for the first time ever at the Summer Olympics,
the ceremony will not be held in a stadium. It's
(13:31):
going to be a parade of boats are going to
start the ceremony sailing down the River sin allowing about
three hundred thousand spectators to attend the celebration. So this
is clearly. They watched Lady Gaga at the Venice Film
Festival and I think that That's where they got the
idea for this.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I think the IOC and the planning committees are always
studying Lady Gaga in which she does. Who's to say
there will be you know, like a bloody sort of
costume change transition that then leads to a piano valid
version of Born this way.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I would love that, honestly. Don't don't count out that
Lady Gaga will perform at these opening ceremonial Olympic Games.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Actually, but can I say something you can from what
I'm hearing, it seems that this opening ceremony, beyond the
sort of newness of it being outside out of a
stadium on the River Send, it is celebrating literally and
this is actually why we're qualified to talk about this culture.
(14:39):
It is because Paris is the center of that, as
we know, and I think they're really they are really
actually leading into that aspect of it. It's going to
be like a cultural celebration of like fashion, music, film,
all of it. Okay, in addition to the athletics obviously,
but like you're going to be seeing a lot of
different things that you didn't expect, and I think we can.
(15:03):
I think it's I think it's out there in the
press releases, like there will be like an SNL fifty boat,
Like there will be like a boat at the opening
ceremonies with SNL cast It's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Do they invite you? They did not invite me.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
But that's okay.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Who is going to be there if not you?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Some of my wonderful fellow cast mates, and I'm so
happy for them. And I wasn't given the ask.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
But that's okay. That's not what it's about. We can
I say if you're not upset, I'm upset on your behalf.
This feels ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
It's not ridiculous. I get to host two guys five
rings with my best friend. You're right, I am involved
in the Olympics. This is going to be I think
this is going to be required supplemental listening, not even supplemental.
This is going to be the event for people to
consume the Olympics.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
For It made sense to me. Everyone the world is
watching this podcast. The world is watching this podcast, which
is a visual medium. What do you think about how
the equestrian activities are going to look at Chateau de Versailles.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Well, I'm gonna be thinking, yeah, sure, horses but that
was where Kirsten duns filmed scenes from Maria An Twinette.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Thank you. Yeah, that's all true. That's you know. I
went to Versailles one time. Can I say the people
there were not kind to me because I am one
of the most American people out there, So I'm it
probably was because I was running through the streets being like,
do you guys have ketchup? But anyway, they weren't. They
(16:29):
weren't crazy nice to me and Versailles. But it like
it could have had to do with the fact that I,
like you, was more interested in like, so where did
Kirsten Dunce, Like where was her trailer?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Do you know they shut it down every Monday really
during filming? Wow, So they said like, look, which is crazy,
like only for Sophia do you do that? Do you
shut down Versailles truly? Or the Olympics as it were
the Olympics. It's like, you know, we're we're racing horses,
there's animal there's animals rooming about. But Versailles. Now that
(17:02):
it's no surprise that they were route to you, because
I think that's part of the experience, right. They want
it to total like it's you know, pre Revolution France.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I've always felt I've always felt that Paris was like
New York City and Versailles was like Long Island or Jersey,
you know what I mean. Absolutely so, just everyone who's
watching the equestrian stuff, just know that you're getting the
Jersey people.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You got to take a train out there. The people
are rude and there's horse racing. Yeah, that's all Jersey
to me. That's all Long Island. To me, that's Long Island.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
As there's gonna be beach volleyball at the Champe de Mar.
That's going to be an interesting thing about this podcast
is hearing me pronounce French stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I think you're going to get your hit rate's going
to be seven out of ten.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I was gonna say, what are you gonna give me?
Seven out of ten? That's pretty good. So, but you're
an expert in this talk about how you're French not French.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I have no association with the Nation of France with
French culture.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
But you did live in Montreal and during your formative years.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And in my formative times as a child, I grew
up in Montreal, Quebec or the license plate stage Suvillan,
which is a reference to I remember when we were
part of France. Isn't that dark? Yeah, even after they
were let's say, annexed by Canada, they still went it's
(18:23):
it's it's like a step child going, you're not.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
My real dad. Yeah, it is very that petulant, petulant teenage.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Everything comes out.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
To teenage petulant when you're Montreal. Well, French is Bowen's
first language, so that's why I'm saying pronunciation wise, we
got it.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
We got it online.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Now, talk about watching beach volleyball in what is very
much an urban park. Is is that going to take
you out of the experience.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
No, because I'm going to be looking at the players.
Beach volleyball is one of the honest things you can do.
It's one of the hottest and most fun things you
can do. And I would also say that the excitement
factor is through the room. This is why I think
one of the most exciting things to watch, because it's
truly challengers coded. Yes, in that it is head to head,
(19:25):
head to.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Head as it were, or heads to heads.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Heads to heads. I'm a huge beach volleyball fan.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Oh absolutely, because you know what's great about beach volleyball,
What fast. Yes, it's a fast game. There's never a
dull moment.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It moves.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
You're never like, all right, should I get more pop port? No,
you are glued to the screen. You're watching these people
dive into the sand to spike a ball that they
have no chance of getting.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Can I say, like, as someone who is a huge
like I love sand?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Why what well everyone hates sand?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Can I tell you something, I've really come around on
sand because I used to. I used to actually, because
my my biggest problem was when I whenever I went
to the beach, I didn't brush my singing good enough.
And I would bring it into the car and I'd
bring it into the house and I would often find
that sand would get in the bed. And you have
shared a room with me in Fire Island, and what's
in the bed grains and grains a lot of sand
(20:28):
of sand. But that's okay. I feel like I feel
like that's even if you come.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Around on it. Why why have you come around on it?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Because I feel like I'm embracing who I am now,
Like I'm a sandy person and so watching these people
get all sandy, that's my culture.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Okay, all right, okay, let's talk about Simone.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
She's back, babe.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I mean she has the wind that her back. In
terms of the story, don't we thinged? Oh yeah, I
think there's I think she will amaze us, but she
doesn't have to clear too much in terms of her
accomplishment for this to be has a history making Olympics
go for her.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah. Well, so for the uninitiated here, Simone Biles withdrew
from the twenty twenty Tokyo Games. She suffered a case
of the twisties where she had disorientation in the air.
I guess she just had a little bit of like
I guess when you're a gymnast to say you have
the twisties as a gymnast, they must be really bad
because you're constantly twisting in the air. A yeah, for
(21:28):
it to deter you, she must have really needed a break.
If she can win at least one medal at these Games,
she will become the single most decorated US Olympic gymnast.
She's currently tied with Shannon Miller, who also has seven medals,
So this could be a major major moment for US
Olympic gymnasts.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Now, what would happen? Well, how would you react if
Simone was about to take the floor, but then I.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Would become swollen with pride. I would become swollen with pride.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Hold on, okay, so no one is about to take
it floor. A hush falls over the stadium.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Oh my god, I'm already like really anxious.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And then like it was this salut the double doors
fling open.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
And who walks in in her heels but Shinn and milk.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
She says. And she crossed her arms like this and
fixed her neck and said, all right, come on, giry.
She's standing on the other side of the vault, looking
her dead in the eyes as she runs down, and
she says, break my record. How dare you run? Leap
(22:47):
and vault land with both your feet and get your
score together. If you can, you'll knock me off my perch.
Very intimidating girl.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
But then Shannon does it, does a tear away, and
she's in her single.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
And she goes, oh my god, the bitch is back.
I qualified at World, so I'm ill fed at World.
So I'm doing this too. Oh my god, You're not
breaking Anyway's record? No, And can I say oftentimes the
Olympics gives incredible narratives, But just in case it doesn't,
(23:28):
you can just listen to this and sort of play
this back.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Let's say it's August twenty twenty four, the Olympics are done,
or like let's say September twenty twenty four, and you're like,
I didn't really get good story this year. Just listen
to that part of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, yeah, just go back and imagine a world.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Now, can I just I really am so curious about
what you think with this topic. I feel like the twisties,
It's like the closest comparison I can draw is like
the yips in baseball. Yeah, these things need better names
because they're serious things and they're real things, but the
names just sound too silly, Like these are like really
(24:09):
big obstacles. And like if Simone Biles had come out
and said I have aerial disorientation syndrome or whatever, if
it sounded like medically legit or something, or even half
pseudo legit, like people would have been like, oh my god,
don't worry girl. But because she had to come out
and say I'm having the twisties, people were like, you freak.
(24:30):
Like I think there was like this weird blowback on
her where like she could have if it was called
anything but the Twisties, it would have been twenty percent
less stressful on her. In terms of the media blowback.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I mean, I guess that's like something that's happened in
the last few years as people. I guess, like because
there's so much more talk about like mental health and
like doing what you need to do and self care
that when an Olympian like engages with that, everyone's like, no,
it just feels like they can't be humans. But Simone
Biles is a human. She couldn't necessarily find a better
(25:05):
thing to call the Twisties and the Twisties. But she's
a human.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Let her cook, Let her cook, And she's a human
who happens to speak English, and in the English language
the Twisties are called the Twisties.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I don't hate the Twisties. It feels like you're coming
down hard on the Twisties. For her to put the
word twisties in a press release like she had to
at some point, and yeah, in twenty twenty couldn't have
been easy. That's why, really, why we're here just to
kind of tell the pr when they have aerial flop syndrome.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Right, So a lot of pr people do have aerial
flop syndrome, as we know looking at you Jlo's people.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Okay, truly update the way you do things. You know.
Speaking of women, Bo, there's a big question this year,
and it's will US women earn more metals than US
men For the fourth straight games. Women have been dominating.
I believe it was Beyonce who said girls run the world,
and I believe it was the Spice Girls who said
(26:02):
girl power. In the nineties. Gloria Steinem was huge in
the feminist moment and it's really.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Carried over definitely. The Beastie Boys said.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Girls, Fisher did, and.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Lena Dunham had a show called Girls.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Wrote a whole show called Girls. And I feel like
they've all been very inspired to greatness here at the Games,
and I think we're going to see even more women
sort of tear you know. In Tokyo, the US women
won sixty six medals. That was fifty eight percent of
US medals, which exceeded the total number of medals won
by all other delegations except China and the Russian Olympic Committee. So,
(26:37):
you know, two big.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Ones, two big ones. But the big question, as we
go into this Olympic Games as it pertains to women
and their medal count will be with the soccer teane.
There's a lot going on here. They've got a new coach,
a lot of new players, coming off their worst ever
performance in the FIFA Women's World Cup. Now I remember this.
(26:59):
I don't get much sports news, but this is something
I caught wind of, and I think these girls, I'm
rooting for them. It's an uphill battle. Yeah, you know,
let me tell you something. If they can get in
there and bend it like Beckham, I think huge things
are going to happen. Remember that movie? Can I tell
you something you never saw it?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Don't ever talk about Kira Knightley again? And I know
it's one of your favorite things to do, and I
don't often do you know? You lie to be writing history.
You always want to weigh in on Kira. You haven't
even seen her breakout role. You don't even know what
bended like Beckham is. Ye I bet you wouldn't even
know the half of it. If you were a soccer
ball gun put in front of you, you could never
bend it like Beckham.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
It's not a hot phrase. Bend it like Beckham and
it feels incredible.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Wasn't he Like, Oh, they had a body double of
him in the movie like they're waiting.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, Yeah, that wasn't really him, right, Why.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Don't you think he she should have done it? That
would have been amazing for his career.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I mean, the man loves to be on camera, so
I'm shocked that it wasn't really him.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Well, I've seen clips of it. I've seen it. I
will say it's played multiple times.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
It has.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
It did play multiple times in the background of my
childhood living room because my sister would watch it with
her friends.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I want you to watch it.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Do you think it still holds up just stylot, I
think it probably does.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Okay, Well, I haven't seen it in many years, but
I did see it like when it came out, really
because we were like, who's this new girly Kiera Knightly? Right,
maybe that wasn't her first movie? I feel like that,
And no, definitely wasn't first. She was like so young,
she was very young. So young.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
We can't discuss Kiera Knightley's career on this Olympics podcast,
can we?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Well, I think we've just proven that we can. And
so basically, if you've been listening to this podcast and
you think this isn't sports, you're not necessarily right, but
you're not necessarily wrong. But what it was was two guys,
five rings, and the two guys are me and Bowen Yang.
And there's going to be endless episodes of this podcast
going forward until, of course, the Olympics ends, and then
(29:07):
the podcast ends endless.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
But Matt, shall we give out our medals for our stories? Gold?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Silver, Yes? Okay, great, Yes, I think bronze medal goes
to will US women earn more metals than US men
for the fourth straight games. Yeah, that's something that we're
really following to want the gender wars to keep going.
I don't want to fan the flames.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
No, everyone is on the same team.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Okay, Bronze medal goes to women versus men. Silver medal
I'm going to give to Simone Biles just because I
don't want to put gold medal pressure on her. No,
because there's a lot of pressure on her. And I
just want to say, in terms of Simone Biles, I
just want people to be like, yes, she's competing, it's
(29:56):
not a big deal. Yeah, Yes, there's a lot of stakes.
It's not a big deal. You're gonna give her the
twisties if you act like it's a big deal. So
just shush, let her compete. Shannon Miller standing over there
with their arms folded, being very cross but you know,
just silver metal like, lower the stakes.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Lower the stakes, and finally that means gold goes to
Paris landmarks as backdropped to the Games.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yes, I am so excited to see Paris. I mean
not actually in person, because they were rude to me
and I never did get my ketchup, but so excited
that there We're going to see many shots of the
Eiffel Tower. I'm sure it's gonna be, you know, just
so little.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Forget the love. Don't forget the love. I want them
to do fencing at the patisserie. I want them to
be doing break dancing, breaking at the Marae, which is
the gay neighborhood in Paris.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I want them, Oh, that would be good. I want
them to use the entire rich urban history of Paris
to the fullest advantage, because this is once in a
lifetime we are not going to see. I don't one
the Games in Paris for decades.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I would wager, and we were.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Not saying you don't have to do it for a while.
It's a cheap place to have the Olympics. When you
say man, I would say, and let me tell you
this podcast is up to a roll acting start. We
are galvanized, We are ready. If we had a boat,
we would be tearing up the sin right now on
the way. Bowen could have been on a boat but
(31:31):
wasn't invited. Uh, you know it's okay. We're gonna watch
them the comfort of our own homes and host this podcast.
Thank you for joining us. This has been Two Guys
five Rings and next week we're talking athletes. We're talking
people are the people we need to really focus on, Okay,
and we're gonna let you know who the girls are
(31:54):
the girls and this includes men, and this includes men.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
And because we're all playing for the same team, which
is the girls, feel d lingo. You can watch every
moment of the twenty twenty four Paris Olympics because in
July twenty sixth on NBC and Peacock and listen to
Two Guys five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
And for the first time. You can stream the twenty
twenty four Paris games on the iHeart Radio app. See
you soon, Bye,
Okay, girl, hey girl, let's go down the shoet, which
let should be established a little greeting.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I think we have to find it. What do we do? Like,
do we just say two guys five rings? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Or we say or we say ring the word ring
five times?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh that's good, that's good. I love that.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Okay, okay, okay, here we go, ring ring, ring, ring ring?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Wow? And would you believe we just created that gold?
Like Bowen, I have to give I have to really
give you the credit because we sort of canonically and
iconically come onto our podcast Last Culturistas with Ding Dong
and then who you are saying? Ring ring, ring, ring ring?
This is a natural.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Progress sort of analog. Well, after all, this is our
new podcast, two Guys, five Rings, where we talk all
things Olympic.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yes, for those of you who sort of arrived here
because you want to hear about sports and didn't even
know who we are, I'm Matt Rogers, I co host
the Lost Cultura's podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And I'm Bowen Yang. I also co host The Lost
Cultursa's podcast. Now, would you say that we typically cover
anything athletic on our let's say, day job show.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I actually don't remember the last time we spoke about
sports or athletics at all, which is and a lot
of people might be surprised to hear us hosting this podcast,
and what we would say to those people is we're
surprised too. But really, I guess this makes us like
sort of a podcast for the Olympics for the every day.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Absolutely, I think we are the surrogates for people who
have seen challengers and think that is enough sports for me.
But that's not true. There is no ceiling on sports.
Wouldn't you say.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
There is no ceiling on sports, especially this Olympics because
it's the summer Olympics. Buton and this is really going
to happen outside, and it's gonna happen in Paris, and
Paris I heard has beautiful outside. Now I know you've
been to Paris, so don't pretend that you've not been
to Paris. Now, I know you've seen the outside of Paris.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Oh, I was not putting up any pretense that I
have not been to Paris. I was just starting up
a conversation for you and the listener to discuss Paris,
the beauty of Paris.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Have you been to Paris in the summer?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I happened to Paris in the summer. I've been very
lucky to be in Paris in the summer hot but
and the people are hotter, oh honey.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And it's about to get even hotter because these athletes
are coming now. I would say if we ever talked
about the Olympics on our podcast, it probably would have
to do with, you know, just how hot some of
the athletes really are. Actually, just the other day, we
had a conversation about winter olympian Apollo anton Ono being
sexually formative for you specific But but you're saying that
(03:02):
he wasn't for you.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
We know, I Paula's friend. No, I'm just kidding. I yes,
absolutely Listen.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I feel like an awakening.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
For me is more. I'm going to speak more collectively,
like any men's gymnastics event. I oh yeah, I kind
of real I re realize what I'm put on this
earth to do, which is to watch people with bodies
do amazing things with those bodies.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of that this summer.
There's gonna be a lot of that this summer, I guess.
Today on today's episode, we're here to talk about the
top storylines. Two guys, five rings. There's some storylines happening
that are there's really narratives and really there's Every Olympics
is a dramatic story, you know what I mean? Like that,
(03:51):
that's what's so great about it.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
The Olympics are soap operas writ large, wouldn't you say
on the world stage?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You know? On our other podcast, what we do right
now is say that's a rural of culture, but not
what we can't but.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
We can't right here now, just to give everybody a
general lay of the land for what we'll do in
this podcast. Every episode we will discuss a different angle
of the Olympics. Today, as Matt has said, we were
discussing the top storylines going into Paris twenty twenty four,
and then in future episodes we will talk about specific athletes,
(04:25):
specific events. Gosh, what else, I mean, what else is
there to the Olympics besides those things? The village?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Oh yeah, I think we we definitely. That's actually one
of the things I'm most interested in is to be
totally honest with you and with you in transparent Like
for me, I want to hear about the horniness of
the Olympic village, like if if at any point we
can have someone from the ground like sort of report in,
like I would love to hear even if and this
is just any athlete that hears this and wants to
(04:54):
come in and we can do that that creepy voice thing. Yes,
if no, I think he wants to go on the
record and someone's just come spill all the tea about
how Hornett gets in the Olympic village, I'd be interested
in that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I would be very interested in that. If you are
listening and you work for the IOC, and you were
the person who designed the single bunk bed cot situation
that is supposed to discourage athletes from engaging in sexual encounters,
please come on this podcast. We will distort your voice
to protect your identity.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Also, first of all, you can't. You can't sort of
stop athletes. I'm sorry, you can't. I'm sure that they
run their heats, they swim their heats, they perform their heats.
In the case of I guess the synchronized swimming, which
I guess is now has a different name. It's now
(05:48):
and it's now.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Oh gosh, we were just briefed on this by our
lovely producers. Give it up for our producers, by the way,
they're going to be doing a lot of work well
right now in the Zoom. We have Vents, we have Jason,
we have Sean. We have a whole star lineup of
producers with us, and we're grateful to them. Mostly what's
going to happen on this show is we're going to
be fed some wonderful information by these people who actually
(06:11):
do care about sports. They that we don't care, but
these are people who live in breed sports and know
how to communicate those facts to us. And we are
the lens through which those things get refracted onto you,
the audience. And we were great.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
We are but a vessel.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
We are but a vessel.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
And here's something I know about sports. You, me and
our three producers. We could be a basketball team, a squad.
There are five of us, a squad. We could be
a basketball squad. I know this from chiefly from watching
Space Jam.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I was just going to be a Space Jam.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I did play basketball as a kid. This is this
is actually a topic I wanted to bring up with
you before we get into the actual information. When is
the moment you have peaked athletically, What is the fastest
you've ever run? What can you look back on in
your life and say that was a moment where I
was physical the house down.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
That's really tough. Can the answer be there is no moment.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well, lately you've been working it in the gym, but
that's not the same as sports. Okay, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Well, can I say there was a two week period
where I was a member of the YMCA on Atlantic
Avenue in Brooklyn, New York, and I was getting into
that pool with all of the toddlers and our lovely
elders in the community, and I thought, you know what,
I'm healthy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
And then two weeks in, I thought, I'm not going
to be in this skin soup as it were, like.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
It's very much skin soup at a public pool. And
I will say this, this is an athletic thing. I
got athletes foot at my gym, and I don't want
to gross anyone out, but these are the kinds of
things that athletes go through. This is injury. I've been
doing an injury which is by my own hand. I
got athletes foot from what showering with no shower shoes.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You gotta get the shower shoes.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I thought I could trust my community.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
No no, no, and make sure when the shower shoes
go home. First of all, you take a bag from
the swim trunk dryer above the swim trunk dryer in
the locker room, put your shower shoes and.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
That go home.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
The first thing you better be doing is wiping those
down with lyesol.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Guys say, I hope that all the athletes are listening
right now. This is good stuff. They need to be
writing this down lifesol. Seriously, go the extra mile, as
it were. And I'm not just talking about my long
distance runners. I'm talking about everyone. Go the extra mile
in terms of protecting your feet and body this summer Olympics.
One thing about Bowen Yang is he really doesn't even
(08:42):
have to run because his legs are so strong that
he actually at a walking speed is faster than any runner.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Hmm. Thank you, my sweet honey, my sweet dear.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
You should see him when he needs to go somewhere.
And can I say something that my friend Matt Rogers
is it depends fare to say classic lie swimmers built. Yeah,
you know, had they had swimming in my high school,
I would have done that instead of track and field,
which I did do you know? Just to answer the
question for myself, I was a little track and.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Field you were a track and curly guy. Oh and
it really it all kind of fits into the biography
really well. I think, what is this.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
We've been doing this now for ten minutes and forty seconds.
This is I literally said to myself, how long am
I going to be able to go without saying my
mile time?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Come on, give it to us.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It's happening now at a minute eleven, four minutes and
thirty six seconds. Oh wow. See bons jaw dropped and
he knew the information. Well, anytime I'm reminded, it's like
who cares about me? Like scoring well on the SATs
like every either no, no, no, but what I care about?
And this is like this is like a prince in
(09:54):
the Popper situation, like I would rather have a for
an under five minute month mile then know anything about math.
This is the classic thing with you and I, the
alphabet and Glinda of it all, like it is the
two sides of the same coin. It is had you
can't and this actually is true. And again we would
say it was a real culture if this is our podcast,
but we cannot. We can you cannot have a By
(10:17):
the way, it's not just scoring well on those tests.
You hate a perfect score on the ACT. Okay, a
thirty six Okay, let's talk about that. You cannot have
a thirty six on the ACT and a four to
thirty six mile. You can't. You'd be assassinated by jealous people.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Oh my god, but they're out there, Matt.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I know, I'm so scared.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I know, let's get back on topic. We're here to
talk about the Olympics.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
We're here to chat about the Olympics. And but now
I just think you sort of get a sense of
our lens. I think what we really did there. But
is we set this podcast up. Now everyone has the
love expectations that they need for us and our Olympic
know how, it's really just gonna be a little bit.
I mean, we're we're we're what is it. We're Waldorf
and statlering.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
This Statler and Waldorf absolutely Muppet reference, Muppet reference. And
we've mentioned on this Olympics podcast Elsaba and Glinda and
Sis Datler and Waldorf, and.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
There's gonna be so much more, well just kidding, we're
gonna get into the actual Olympics. But we're going to
take a quick break and we're gonna come back with
real Olympic commentary.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
We're bad, sure are now, Matt. Before we before we
talk about our top stories going into the Paris Games
twenty twenty four, let's just do a general exchange of
what are your What do the Olympics mean to you?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Great music? Can I say I love hearing the music?
I love hearing the Olympic theme. I don't know if
I could sing it for you right now? Could you? Yeah, yes,
yes you can sing it.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
If I can sing it, you can sing it.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I kind of gave flute, you kind of gave trombone,
and that's kind of what we give.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And that's what we give, flute and trombone.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
What about you? What jumps out when you think Olympics?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I think I truly do get emotional at the idea.
And this is what the five rings concept is. It
is the continents of the world coming together to all five.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
All five.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
No, well, look it's America's Asia, Africa, Europe. People forget Oceania.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Oceania, enisod is that sort of what Australia is.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
It's like Australia And then you know your your your
islands above those Pacific islands, and then Antarctica we count
out unfortunately, because the penguins are competing.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
No, they're certainly not, and I wouldn't want them to
because can I tell you something, They cheat nasty, they're cheekers,
and they dope, they're cheating dopers. And let me tell
you something, if you expect to win against the penguin
in the ice luge.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Oh, the Summer Olympics at the same.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
You're in denial. Hunt, You're in denial. So well, let's
get into it. These are the top storylines of the
Olympics this year. First of all, we said it, will
say it again. Paris. Paris landmarks are going to be
a backdrop to these games, including like the opening ceremony.
This is for the first time ever at the Summer Olympics,
the ceremony will not be held in a stadium. It's
(13:31):
going to be a parade of boats are going to
start the ceremony sailing down the River sin allowing about
three hundred thousand spectators to attend the celebration. So this
is clearly. They watched Lady Gaga at the Venice Film
Festival and I think that That's where they got the
idea for this.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I think the IOC and the planning committees are always
studying Lady Gaga in which she does. Who's to say
there will be you know, like a bloody sort of
costume change transition that then leads to a piano valid
version of Born this way.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I would love that, honestly. Don't don't count out that
Lady Gaga will perform at these opening ceremonial Olympic Games.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Actually, but can I say something you can from what
I'm hearing, it seems that this opening ceremony, beyond the
sort of newness of it being outside out of a
stadium on the River Send, it is celebrating literally and
this is actually why we're qualified to talk about this culture.
(14:39):
It is because Paris is the center of that, as
we know, and I think they're really they are really
actually leading into that aspect of it. It's going to
be like a cultural celebration of like fashion, music, film,
all of it. Okay, in addition to the athletics obviously,
but like you're going to be seeing a lot of
different things that you didn't expect, and I think we can.
(15:03):
I think it's I think it's out there in the
press releases, like there will be like an SNL fifty boat,
Like there will be like a boat at the opening
ceremonies with SNL cast It's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Do they invite you? They did not invite me.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
But that's okay.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Who is going to be there if not you?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Some of my wonderful fellow cast mates, and I'm so
happy for them. And I wasn't given the ask.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
But that's okay. That's not what it's about. We can
I say if you're not upset, I'm upset on your behalf.
This feels ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
It's not ridiculous. I get to host two guys five
rings with my best friend. You're right, I am involved
in the Olympics. This is going to be I think
this is going to be required supplemental listening, not even supplemental.
This is going to be the event for people to
consume the Olympics.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
For It made sense to me. Everyone the world is
watching this podcast. The world is watching this podcast, which
is a visual medium. What do you think about how
the equestrian activities are going to look at Chateau de Versailles.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Well, I'm gonna be thinking, yeah, sure, horses but that
was where Kirsten duns filmed scenes from Maria An Twinette.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Thank you. Yeah, that's all true. That's you know. I
went to Versailles one time. Can I say the people
there were not kind to me because I am one
of the most American people out there, So I'm it
probably was because I was running through the streets being like,
do you guys have ketchup? But anyway, they weren't. They
(16:29):
weren't crazy nice to me and Versailles. But it like
it could have had to do with the fact that I,
like you, was more interested in like, so where did
Kirsten Dunce, Like where was her trailer?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Do you know they shut it down every Monday really
during filming? Wow, So they said like, look, which is crazy,
like only for Sophia do you do that? Do you
shut down Versailles truly? Or the Olympics as it were
the Olympics. It's like, you know, we're we're racing horses,
there's animal there's animals rooming about. But Versailles. Now that
(17:02):
it's no surprise that they were route to you, because
I think that's part of the experience, right. They want
it to total like it's you know, pre Revolution France.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I've always felt I've always felt that Paris was like
New York City and Versailles was like Long Island or Jersey,
you know what I mean. Absolutely so, just everyone who's
watching the equestrian stuff, just know that you're getting the
Jersey people.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You got to take a train out there. The people
are rude and there's horse racing. Yeah, that's all Jersey
to me. That's all Long Island. To me, that's Long Island.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
As there's gonna be beach volleyball at the Champe de Mar.
That's going to be an interesting thing about this podcast
is hearing me pronounce French stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I think you're going to get your hit rate's going
to be seven out of ten.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I was gonna say, what are you gonna give me?
Seven out of ten? That's pretty good. So, but you're
an expert in this talk about how you're French not French.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I have no association with the Nation of France with
French culture.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
But you did live in Montreal and during your formative years.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And in my formative times as a child, I grew
up in Montreal, Quebec or the license plate stage Suvillan,
which is a reference to I remember when we were
part of France. Isn't that dark? Yeah, even after they
were let's say, annexed by Canada, they still went it's
(18:23):
it's it's like a step child going, you're not.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
My real dad. Yeah, it is very that petulant, petulant teenage.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Everything comes out.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
To teenage petulant when you're Montreal. Well, French is Bowen's
first language, so that's why I'm saying pronunciation wise, we
got it.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
We got it online.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Now, talk about watching beach volleyball in what is very
much an urban park. Is is that going to take
you out of the experience.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
No, because I'm going to be looking at the players.
Beach volleyball is one of the honest things you can do.
It's one of the hottest and most fun things you
can do. And I would also say that the excitement
factor is through the room. This is why I think
one of the most exciting things to watch, because it's
truly challengers coded. Yes, in that it is head to head,
(19:25):
head to.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Head as it were, or heads to heads.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Heads to heads. I'm a huge beach volleyball fan.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Oh absolutely, because you know what's great about beach volleyball,
What fast. Yes, it's a fast game. There's never a
dull moment.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It moves.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
You're never like, all right, should I get more pop port? No,
you are glued to the screen. You're watching these people
dive into the sand to spike a ball that they
have no chance of getting.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Can I say, like, as someone who is a huge
like I love sand?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Why what well everyone hates sand?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Can I tell you something, I've really come around on
sand because I used to. I used to actually, because
my my biggest problem was when I whenever I went
to the beach, I didn't brush my singing good enough.
And I would bring it into the car and I'd
bring it into the house and I would often find
that sand would get in the bed. And you have
shared a room with me in Fire Island, and what's
in the bed grains and grains a lot of sand
(20:28):
of sand. But that's okay. I feel like I feel
like that's even if you come.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Around on it. Why why have you come around on it?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Because I feel like I'm embracing who I am now,
Like I'm a sandy person and so watching these people
get all sandy, that's my culture.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Okay, all right, okay, let's talk about Simone.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
She's back, babe.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I mean she has the wind that her back. In
terms of the story, don't we thinged? Oh yeah, I
think there's I think she will amaze us, but she
doesn't have to clear too much in terms of her
accomplishment for this to be has a history making Olympics
go for her.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah. Well, so for the uninitiated here, Simone Biles withdrew
from the twenty twenty Tokyo Games. She suffered a case
of the twisties where she had disorientation in the air.
I guess she just had a little bit of like
I guess when you're a gymnast to say you have
the twisties as a gymnast, they must be really bad
because you're constantly twisting in the air. A yeah, for
(21:28):
it to deter you, she must have really needed a break.
If she can win at least one medal at these Games,
she will become the single most decorated US Olympic gymnast.
She's currently tied with Shannon Miller, who also has seven medals,
So this could be a major major moment for US
Olympic gymnasts.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Now, what would happen? Well, how would you react if
Simone was about to take the floor, but then I.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Would become swollen with pride. I would become swollen with pride.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Hold on, okay, so no one is about to take
it floor. A hush falls over the stadium.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Oh my god, I'm already like really anxious.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And then like it was this salut the double doors
fling open.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
And who walks in in her heels but Shinn and milk.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
She says. And she crossed her arms like this and
fixed her neck and said, all right, come on, giry.
She's standing on the other side of the vault, looking
her dead in the eyes as she runs down, and
she says, break my record. How dare you run? Leap
(22:47):
and vault land with both your feet and get your
score together. If you can, you'll knock me off my perch.
Very intimidating girl.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
But then Shannon does it, does a tear away, and
she's in her single.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
And she goes, oh my god, the bitch is back.
I qualified at World, so I'm ill fed at World.
So I'm doing this too. Oh my god, You're not
breaking Anyway's record? No, And can I say oftentimes the
Olympics gives incredible narratives, But just in case it doesn't,
(23:28):
you can just listen to this and sort of play
this back.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Let's say it's August twenty twenty four, the Olympics are done,
or like let's say September twenty twenty four, and you're like,
I didn't really get good story this year. Just listen
to that part of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, yeah, just go back and imagine a world.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Now, can I just I really am so curious about
what you think with this topic. I feel like the twisties,
It's like the closest comparison I can draw is like
the yips in baseball. Yeah, these things need better names
because they're serious things and they're real things, but the
names just sound too silly, Like these are like really
(24:09):
big obstacles. And like if Simone Biles had come out
and said I have aerial disorientation syndrome or whatever, if
it sounded like medically legit or something, or even half
pseudo legit, like people would have been like, oh my god,
don't worry girl. But because she had to come out
and say I'm having the twisties, people were like, you freak.
(24:30):
Like I think there was like this weird blowback on
her where like she could have if it was called
anything but the Twisties, it would have been twenty percent
less stressful on her. In terms of the media blowback.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I mean, I guess that's like something that's happened in
the last few years as people. I guess, like because
there's so much more talk about like mental health and
like doing what you need to do and self care
that when an Olympian like engages with that, everyone's like, no,
it just feels like they can't be humans. But Simone
Biles is a human. She couldn't necessarily find a better
(25:05):
thing to call the Twisties and the Twisties. But she's
a human.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Let her cook, Let her cook, And she's a human
who happens to speak English, and in the English language
the Twisties are called the Twisties.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I don't hate the Twisties. It feels like you're coming
down hard on the Twisties. For her to put the
word twisties in a press release like she had to
at some point, and yeah, in twenty twenty couldn't have
been easy. That's why, really, why we're here just to
kind of tell the pr when they have aerial flop syndrome.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Right, So a lot of pr people do have aerial
flop syndrome, as we know looking at you Jlo's people.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Okay, truly update the way you do things. You know.
Speaking of women, Bo, there's a big question this year,
and it's will US women earn more metals than US
men For the fourth straight games. Women have been dominating.
I believe it was Beyonce who said girls run the world,
and I believe it was the Spice Girls who said
(26:02):
girl power. In the nineties. Gloria Steinem was huge in
the feminist moment and it's really.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Carried over definitely. The Beastie Boys said.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Girls, Fisher did, and.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Lena Dunham had a show called Girls.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Wrote a whole show called Girls. And I feel like
they've all been very inspired to greatness here at the Games,
and I think we're going to see even more women
sort of tear you know. In Tokyo, the US women
won sixty six medals. That was fifty eight percent of
US medals, which exceeded the total number of medals won
by all other delegations except China and the Russian Olympic Committee. So,
(26:37):
you know, two big.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Ones, two big ones. But the big question, as we
go into this Olympic Games as it pertains to women
and their medal count will be with the soccer teane.
There's a lot going on here. They've got a new coach,
a lot of new players, coming off their worst ever
performance in the FIFA Women's World Cup. Now I remember this.
(26:59):
I don't get much sports news, but this is something
I caught wind of, and I think these girls, I'm
rooting for them. It's an uphill battle. Yeah, you know,
let me tell you something. If they can get in
there and bend it like Beckham, I think huge things
are going to happen. Remember that movie? Can I tell
you something you never saw it?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Don't ever talk about Kira Knightley again? And I know
it's one of your favorite things to do, and I
don't often do you know? You lie to be writing history.
You always want to weigh in on Kira. You haven't
even seen her breakout role. You don't even know what
bended like Beckham is. Ye I bet you wouldn't even
know the half of it. If you were a soccer
ball gun put in front of you, you could never
bend it like Beckham.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
It's not a hot phrase. Bend it like Beckham and
it feels incredible.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Wasn't he Like, Oh, they had a body double of
him in the movie like they're waiting.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, Yeah, that wasn't really him, right, Why.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Don't you think he she should have done it? That
would have been amazing for his career.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I mean, the man loves to be on camera, so
I'm shocked that it wasn't really him.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Well, I've seen clips of it. I've seen it. I
will say it's played multiple times.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
It has.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
It did play multiple times in the background of my
childhood living room because my sister would watch it with
her friends.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I want you to watch it.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Do you think it still holds up just stylot, I
think it probably does.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Okay, Well, I haven't seen it in many years, but
I did see it like when it came out, really
because we were like, who's this new girly Kiera Knightly? Right,
maybe that wasn't her first movie? I feel like that,
And no, definitely wasn't first. She was like so young,
she was very young. So young.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
We can't discuss Kiera Knightley's career on this Olympics podcast,
can we?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Well, I think we've just proven that we can. And
so basically, if you've been listening to this podcast and
you think this isn't sports, you're not necessarily right, but
you're not necessarily wrong. But what it was was two guys,
five rings, and the two guys are me and Bowen Yang.
And there's going to be endless episodes of this podcast
going forward until, of course, the Olympics ends, and then
(29:07):
the podcast ends endless.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
But Matt, shall we give out our medals for our stories? Gold?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Silver, Yes? Okay, great, Yes, I think bronze medal goes
to will US women earn more metals than US men
for the fourth straight games. Yeah, that's something that we're
really following to want the gender wars to keep going.
I don't want to fan the flames.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
No, everyone is on the same team.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Okay, Bronze medal goes to women versus men. Silver medal
I'm going to give to Simone Biles just because I
don't want to put gold medal pressure on her. No,
because there's a lot of pressure on her. And I
just want to say, in terms of Simone Biles, I
just want people to be like, yes, she's competing, it's
(29:56):
not a big deal. Yeah, Yes, there's a lot of stakes.
It's not a big deal. You're gonna give her the
twisties if you act like it's a big deal. So
just shush, let her compete. Shannon Miller standing over there
with their arms folded, being very cross but you know,
just silver metal like, lower the stakes.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Lower the stakes, and finally that means gold goes to
Paris landmarks as backdropped to the Games.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yes, I am so excited to see Paris. I mean
not actually in person, because they were rude to me
and I never did get my ketchup, but so excited
that there We're going to see many shots of the
Eiffel Tower. I'm sure it's gonna be, you know, just
so little.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Forget the love. Don't forget the love. I want them
to do fencing at the patisserie. I want them to
be doing break dancing, breaking at the Marae, which is
the gay neighborhood in Paris.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I want them, Oh, that would be good. I want
them to use the entire rich urban history of Paris
to the fullest advantage, because this is once in a
lifetime we are not going to see. I don't one
the Games in Paris for decades.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I would wager, and we were.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Not saying you don't have to do it for a while.
It's a cheap place to have the Olympics. When you
say man, I would say, and let me tell you
this podcast is up to a roll acting start. We
are galvanized, We are ready. If we had a boat,
we would be tearing up the sin right now on
the way. Bowen could have been on a boat but
(31:31):
wasn't invited. Uh, you know it's okay. We're gonna watch
them the comfort of our own homes and host this podcast.
Thank you for joining us. This has been Two Guys
five Rings and next week we're talking athletes. We're talking
people are the people we need to really focus on, Okay,
and we're gonna let you know who the girls are
(31:54):
the girls and this includes men, and this includes men.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
And because we're all playing for the same team, which
is the girls, feel d lingo. You can watch every
moment of the twenty twenty four Paris Olympics because in
July twenty sixth on NBC and Peacock and listen to
Two Guys five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
And for the first time. You can stream the twenty
twenty four Paris games on the iHeart Radio app. See
you soon, Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Matt Rogers
Bowen Yang
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