July 2, 2024 • 32 mins
It's official! The Two Guys and the Five Rings are taking the world by storm! The Sandy Boys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers) are back this week talking about Simone Biles, Katie Ledecky, Caeleb Dressel, and other athletes they are going to have their eyes on at the 2024 Paris Olympics.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Ring Ring, Ring Ring. It's episode two. Two guys, five rings,
one podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What do you make of the title of this.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I think it really says what the podcast is. There's
two guys, me and you, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
There's five rings, which you explained to me, is the
five sort of I'm putting in quotes continents that compete
in the Olympics, which I was blown away by Oceania,
And now I kind of think we should just kind
of do five. I know there's technically seven, but I
(00:38):
kind of like five.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I like five, isn't Oceanya the name of the airline and.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Lost Oceanic Airlines ocean Really happy that you said that
Oceanic Airlines flight eight fifteen, that faded flight. You know,
that plane went down and not everyone survived. But I'll
tell you what, like it was a great show, great entertainment.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yes, please do your best in I'm gonna time it
in thirty seconds. Explain the ending of Lost. Do you
think you can do that?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I can your time tis now. It's actually so basically Lost.
The people class on the island, and at the end
of the series you find out that you know, some
of them actually did get off, but they go back
to the island to sort of right their wrongs, and
(01:32):
in doing so they it was really a religious allegory.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And that's thirty seconds. I think that was the most
concise explanation of Lost I've heard in my life.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Can I tell you if you had gone back in
time and told me when I was watching season one
of Lost that it was going to end so badly
that I would be unable to even really describe what happened,
I would have been crushed. I was obsessed with Lost.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah, a lot of people were, gosh, keep forgetting this
as an Olympics podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well, the thing is like, that's sort of our whole thing.
It's like, we're gonna get around the Olympics and see,
it's not called five rings, two guys, it's called two
guys five So you kind of have to get through
us before we get to.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
The Olympics, and like it or not, we're here. We're
the guys.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know who's not lost? All of the Olympians who
qualified for the Paris twenty twenty four Olympics, they are found.
They are found in their purpose, they are found in
their drive. They are going.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
To really go for the gold, I'd say, I think
they're all going for the goals and not for nothing.
They're going for some of the brand partnerships too. Okay,
let's just say it. These people want to shill for
Ritz Crackers, for tag qeber watches, for a Coca Cola product,
(02:56):
and we celebrate that.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Thank you for speaking truth. Endorsement. Would you want as
an Olympian? What would you want sort of you know,
plaster all over your singlet on the side of your
car or your mobile, Like, what do you want? Like,
what do you want labeling you?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
This is so hard, This is really very hard. I'm
going to follow my gut, Like I said, Ritz Crackers first,
just now, I want I want Nabisco. I want anything Nabisco.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
That would be so funny. You first of all, you
being cookie branded, I think is exactly right, Cracker branded, Cracker. Oh,
Nibisco's not cookies.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, nibsco is cookies. I'm sorry, but I'm leading with
Rits like Rits is my favorite and Nibisco really slayed
that with Rits.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. I would want
to be sponsored by Sprite. Oh, Sprite, I think would
be a real I want to bring back sprite, and
I also think those colors would and everyone away.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I think you're right. I drink it every day, do you?
Actually not every day, but it's famously my favorite drink
in the world.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Now, can I ask you a question? And I really
knew the answer to this is sprite and seven up
the same thing.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It's slightly different for me. It's a Pepsi coke situation, right,
It's like the formulations are slightly different, they have different Gosh,
it's so interesting. I could write a whole movie about
soda manufacturing.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You should. There's a big demand for that.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Well in a post Barbie landscape. I think what's coming
next is the soda movie? Is the Coca Cola movie?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Didn't we talk about doing coc Cola the movie.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I pitched you a Coca Cola the movie idea, and
I'm really plud.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
To did that. I think there's huge brand recognition there.
Huge Everyone knows it. Everyone knows that, but no one
knows the story. And that we would say that was
a real little culture if this was our podcast, but
we cannot.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
We cannot.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Everyone knows Coca Cola, but no one knows the story.
Now you would do spray. Why sprite, Yeah, because I
also think the word sprite would encourage me to go fast,
like you're a sprite. You know, you feel very light,
you feel very like.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It's a great word.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I don't know. I feel energetically that it would do
wonders for me up here. And you know, it's all mental.
It's all sports is all mental. I should reveal at
this time I actually am the child of a coach. Father. Yes,
my father, Richard Rodgers, was a varsity football and baseball
coach for forty years.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
One of the great coaches of Long Island.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
One of the great coaches of Long Island. Was referred
to as a defensive genius. Okay, he was a defensive coordinator,
and he's very good at what he does. And if
I know something, it's that sports are all mental. You
gotta get your head in the game.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, okay, As Zach efron Win said.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Boy, he say it. He's saying it. He's saying it,
gets your head in the game. One of the great
sports songs.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
One of the great sports songs. Your dad is a
defensive genius.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
So he was a defensive coordinator.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I see.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
That was his position as a coach. When he did
foot and he was referred to as a defensive genius.
I mean that's what he said. I don't believe football
is an Olympic sport.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
No, it should be just fine. Well, apple doesn't fall
far from the tree because you're defensive and sometimes you're
a genius.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Drag me on the pod.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Oh my god, it's very.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Alphabet Glenda Codd. This is very what is this feeling?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
What is this feeling?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Loathing?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Now now that we've gotten brand partnerships.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Out of the way, yeah, this is That was the
two guys part.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
That was the two guys part. Now let's talk about
the five rings. Okay, yeah, today we are talking about
our top athletes to watch for the twenty twenty four
Paris Olympic Games. There's a lot of people, yeah, a
lot of people competing.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
So many people competing this year.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
How did whittle it down to three, wouldn't you say?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Incredibly difficult to whittle it down to three? And we
kind of did, kind of didn't like, there's a lot
going on here. It was very hard. On the last episode,
we talked a ton about Simone Biles, and it's hard
to say that she is not the star of the games, like,
she's definitely, you know, at least if you're an American
and you are, you know, supporting America in these games
(07:12):
not a given, not a given. I remember years ago
when those Canadian doubles figure skaters were competing. You remember
those dolls.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh yeah, those were really great.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
That was a whole scandal. Oh it would be really
good to have a good, solid Olympic scandal this year.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, what would that be?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I don't know. I don't want it to be dark,
but I do want it to be to have intrigue,
Like I don't I don't necessarily want a Nancy Kerrigan
Tanya Harding situation, but I don't not want that.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Well, let's remove anything criminal, sure, Like I would love
if this Burlett if there was like a Housewives esque
a fun l like Ives esque thing, like a Reality
Vontee situation.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Like we don't know why, but Simone Biles just goes
up to Katie Lady at the opening ceremony, points her
finger in her face and goes, you owe me an apology,
And she goes, I was not trying to sabotage your event.
She goes, you were trying to sabotage my event. And
by an event, they don't even mean any of the
gymnasts like stuff. They mean like it was a cocktail
party that they had prior to the opening ceremony. I
(08:17):
was supposed to be for all the top Olympus grillies
and next, so let's just say one of them is
left out. I would love to hear about the drama
behind that, you know, So Simone, like, have we talked
about her enough? I mean, again, I don't want to
put too much pressure on her, but I think.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I already know the answer to this, what if she
performs well under pressure? But I think that's kind of
when the Twisties came in in Tokyo, was when she
was feeling a lot of pressure, us being like, can
this olympian who's won seven Olympic.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Medals perform under pressure? Let's look, I don't, we don't know,
we don't know the twisties once.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Meanwhile, we haven't lifted a damn limb for any sporting
event in decades.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
No, remember, wait were you? Did you play on the
softball team that we sort of did in college?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Didn't? I came to watch in support and clap, but
you guys were all very.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I remember when you came and washed and supported and clapped.
I was playing. I think that was the last time
I grabbed a baseball bat.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Oh god, you know what, I genuinely want to do
what I want to join a volleyball league back in
New York, But I just don't have the time. And once,
you know, once I have some free time in the future.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
We should do doubles beach volleyball.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Oh my god, that would be so fun.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
We should. We should figure it out to play doubles.
Do you play tennis for the Olympics.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I can tell you something. Freshman year of high school,
lowest ranking person on the JV ladder for men's tennis.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well, that's not good.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I was so bad at it, terrible, but I appreciate
the sport.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
You don't think now you'd be better?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, no, not at all. Why would I be better?
My joints are falling apart. Would any better?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
It is so true what they say. I mean, it's interesting,
like when you're a little kid and you hear them
talking about like, well, you know, she's twenty six, which
is geriatric, fri a gymnast, And then you hit your
late twenties, early thirties and you realize, Wow, it's not
the same. I go to Barries three times a week.
I feel like my body is disintegrating from the inside out.
(10:21):
I used to run a four to thirty six mile.
Oh wow, at the age of sixteen.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Just goes to show, just.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Goes to show. Your body goes. Hey, if you're out
there listening, do something with your body now, because every
day you're aging, every single day, every single second. As
you listen to this, your body is giving up. So
use it, use it.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And there is nothing more important than your health. No,
I mean it.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Go to the doctor like a gay man. I say
that to everyone every three months. You need to be
at the doctor. Listen. You signed up for Matt Rogers
and Bowen Yang. But back to someone Miles. Some moan
be careful out there.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
But you know the thing about the Olympic village is
they do absolutely you know, I've heard there's condoms.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Everywhere, and that is actually the global experience that the
Olympics can give. And no matter where you are from
in the world, no matter what event you are playing in,
even if you're not even playing in the games, but
you just happen to be cruising in the Olympic village.
Use a condom.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Use a damn condom. Okay, because we don't know where
the sabotage begins and ends. Okay, and let's talk about this.
We know there's been some shady all right in the past.
Like not gonna say too much because I don't want
to put target on my back, But there might be
some countries out there we don't like America so much,
and they might be trying to sabotage our athletes. They
(11:41):
might be sending in people, you know, sort of crawling
with the stuff, and they're they're trying to needcap us
in the bedroom. So finish your events. That would be
my advice.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yeah, don't get Jeff Galulid in the bedroom, honey.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Don't get me started on Jeff Blully. Simone I think
is going to do great. I just want everyone to
leave her alone until she does the events, because you know,
(12:22):
she could potentially tie the all time gold medal record
by a female athlete, and that's of any country. Okay,
It's just there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Let's just quickly run through some of the numbers. She
needs more than four to break the all time gold
medal record by a US woman, Jenny Thompson swimming at eight,
needs one medal of any color to break the tie
with Shinnon Miller for most Olympic medals by a US
gymnast at seven.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Were going to do that. She's going to do that.
I'm she's going to do that.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, needs more than one gold medal to break the
record for most Olympic gold medals by a US gymnast
at five of any gender. No, I think she. I
think she'll probably, I.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Mean, no pressure on her, but I think she will
do all this stuff. Not to say it'll be incredibly
disappointing and and will all feel not as good if
she doesn't do this. But again, no pressure, all the
most decorated, you know, female athlete of all time, blah
blah blah. Like, just have fun. Just have fun.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
That's the least you can do.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
She's twenty seven years old, and can you believe they're
calling her old? Can? First of all, you couldn't pay
me to go back to being twenty seven? Okay. The
return to Saturn not a million dollars. No, No, Simona
is going through her return to Saturn like next week.
And that's why I'm saying, go easy on Simone. There's
a lot going on the basically what's happening in Simone Biles'
(13:50):
life right now And you can find this out if
you listen to any media that RuPaul is a part
of or Ariana Grande's new album. The position of Saturn
right now is in the same exact spot it was
when Simone was born. This is astrology and this really
does factor into the games. Yes, so she is under
a lot of pressure. There is a lot of upheaval
in her life astrologically, the stars the way they're positioned,
(14:12):
like win loser draw in these games. Simone Biles is
about to be taken on the ride of her life astrologically,
and that has to be respected. Leave her alone. There
is a lot going on. Take the pressure off her.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Oh, thank you for saying that. I think we're coming
off of cancer season when the Olympics will be on
going into I don't know what the season after that.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Is Gemini No, wait, no, that's wrong with Gemini's.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Now now it's Gemini into cancer?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Is it? Leo? Leo?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It might be Leo.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
It's gonna be a lot of performative stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
If files been to the metal of any color she
will be the oldest US woman to win an Olympic
gymnastics medal since nineteen forty eight. This age thing is
really tripping me up.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Twenty seven years old and old. Twenty seven years old
and she's elderly. They're ready to toss her. That's what
they do to women.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yeah, but not Simone. Don't count her out. No, I
think Simone is gonna have a bright future.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Well, she's certainly got that star quality. You know, how
tall would you say she is?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I'm gonna say four foot ten she is four eight.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Wow, she's a little slip of a thing. She's a
little nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I think she's gonna be very, very important to no
espionage efforts.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Four eight. I can't. I can't. My mind can't wrap
around that.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Four eight Does that make sense? Like she can really
sneak in.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
There, diva. She's Simone Biles. She can get into anything
because she's a decorated, world renowned athlete. She's cutting the
line at the club. This is yeah, yeah, hi, I'm Simone. Hey, Simone,
we're so honored that you're here. It's not even like
we're so happy you're here or you're on the list.
It's You're honored, You're honored. What a chik name, too, Simone, what.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
A chek name. Now, let's talk about another chic person.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
In the water. Oh to be shekh in the water?
Not since Selena Gomez have we seen someone so chak
in the water. That is my That is what came
out of my mouth just now, because I meant, did
you see a single student video with Selena Gomez?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Is that when she was chic in the water.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
You've never seen anyone look better in the water than
Selena Gomez. I swear to God, if only she could
swim competitively, that would be something to watch. But well,
we have Katie La Ducky.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
We wouldn't even be talking about Katie l Ducky if
Selena Koonez could swim. Give bet.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I would love if one of the pop girlies just
made a hard pivot to Olympics.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
It's like when I'm Mike White was on Survivor.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
It's sort of just like that.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
You don't have to be doing this.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Oh lookod for you? Certainly not. No, Mike White had
no right being as good at Survivor as he was.
Came in second place. Did you know that?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
It's very impressive. And now you do remind me I
have not seen his season.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
You should watch his season. It's wild.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I think Katie Ladeki will be not the Mike White
of the Olympics. No, but whoever beat Mike White in
his season of Survivor. But we can't control these people's lives.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
No, no, but we can influence them Katie. Katie needs
three medals to become the second most decorated US Olympian
of all time after Michael Phelps. Can we just get
into that for a second, like this is Michael Phelps
has twenty eight Olympic medals. If Katie gets three, she'll
(17:41):
get to that two spot, which means, I mean, this
is major, this is history.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Which means if she gets two gold medals, she ties
for all time gold medals for a female athlete at nine,
which is wild to me. How are you as a swimmer,
It was okay. I don't have to build for it.
My torso is too short, my legs are too short.
I just don't have I'm not, as I said to
(18:06):
your last episode, I don't have the litheness that is
required of a swimmer to succeed.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
You have so much strength, though, and I mean that
in every sense of the word. You have so much
strength to you. Thank you, and so do you. I
only see myself reflected in my sister. We are so
emotional and the Olympics haven't even started, you know what
I mean. Like we're already emotional, Like Bowen and I
are crying right now on the podcast, and it's just
(18:33):
because we we know what it takes. We know what
it takes.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I bet if we put our mind to it, we
could be We could be Olympians.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I'm telling you we need to figure out is it.
Maybe it's not tennis, because you're saying tennis has been
for you. I think it's beach volleyball. I think me
and you beach volleyball is not only something that could
be fun, but it's something that could really pop off.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Oh yeah, I think we write the movie. I think
it's like Forget Top Gun, Like we're writing a whole
movie about beach volleyball.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
And do we call it Sandy Boys?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I think we have to.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
No, that's a first idea.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
No, I think we have. No, it's the right idea.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Can we say, just for everyone out there listening, this
is just advice for us. First idea always is the best.
Go with it. If you're a creative, if you're someone
who's writer, performer, performer, the first idea is always the best.
Always go with your first idea.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
And anytime you hear someone say that seems very first thought,
that's not a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
No, no, no, just be like, yes it is, and
then be encouraged.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
And then that's your press story. That's the press tour story.
It was the first idea.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, I want to talk about one more diva and
it's Shakarry Richardson to carry h Carry. Now. We talked
about how we were looking forward to seeing some drama.
(20:11):
I don't want to see any drama when it comes
to Sha Carry, because, as we know, she was disqualified
for testing positive for marijuana at the twenty twenty Olympic Trials.
But she enjoyed a breakout season in twenty twenty three,
complete with a one hundred meters world title. She's a
sprinter where she defeated the Jamaican favorites, like she just
really crushed it and she should have been in those
(20:33):
twenty twenty games and it was huge mess when she
was disqualified.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Well, can I just say the thing about shure like
literally any other drug, she's out right yeah. But marijuana.
It's like if she can still win like from a weed. Hello,
you would all be shaking in your boots, shuddering at
the thought of her running without weed in her system.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Come on now, it's like, weed is not going to
make you faster. Trust us. If you can trust us
on one thing, it's that we'd slows you down. And
if Sha Carrie wants to do a little reefer, if
she wants to get a little reefer, madness letter, but
she's only hurting herself. It's not like she's giving herselfs
a performance enhancing drug. I would love to see it.
(21:21):
If that, If Mary want to wear a performance enhancing drug,
we would be in the Olympics. We wouldn't need to
be talking about our beach volleyball thing. We would be
doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh my god, honey. If watching X Men ninety seven,
say it was an Olympics sport while I was off
my ass, I'd be winning gold.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Baby. If you made having opinions on Bravos the Valley
while Stone, I would be Katie Ladecki right now, second
only to Michael Phelps. Only Michael Phelps did you know,
years ago, I did a sketch where I played Michael Phelps,
and the game of the sketch, which is that was
just the little shop talk. The game meaning the comedic idea.
The central bit of the sketch was that he was
(22:03):
chowing down on McDonald's, and they practically made me eat
the McDonald's again and again and again. I didn't know
the concept of like miming the food. I had to
sit when I played Michael Phelps in a sketch, And
how do you even do that? I mean, like, I
don't know, but I ate a ton of McDonald's. And
I'll never forgive Michael Phelps for his diet for what
(22:24):
it did to me in a comedic sketch. It's untenable. Oh,
he should be tried for crimes, criminal court, criminal court.
He should go to criminal court for marijuana offenses as
it relates to McDonald's consumption after the fact, as.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It relates to Matt Rogers playing him in a sketch
where the game, as in the central communic idea of
the sketch was that he had to eat a bit.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Of showers down. He had just wrapped up his events.
He hit up McDonald's, which I get it.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
We do want to mention one more athlete this I
think you're gonna like this one. Matt Okay, Caleb Dressel
sweety hotty?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Is he a hotty? Let me look it up.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I think he's gonna be like the first sort of
object for a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Hold on a second. Yeah, I just google, like, I
just googled him and I have a big crush on him.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Now, well, there you go. That's all it takes. Listen,
he took a big break. He's he just had a kid.
He is living in a sweet, sweet life, and he
is he lives on a farm. He works on a farm.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
This person would have ruined my life in middle school,
Apollo Anton, Oh.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, oh no, I say, oh no.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
This guy would have taken over.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
It would have been Caleb Caleb. Caleb Caleb is very special.
And look here he's wearing a speedo in this People magazine.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Shoot. He's really going for it. Oh my god. That's
the thing. It's like, I just Olympics. They give you
perfect specimens of human beings. Like remember just watching like
as a kid and being like, oh yeah, that's how
a body can look. You don't see them. They don't
make them like this unless they're Olympics.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
They don't make them like this.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
You don't see these Kala Dressel types.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
No, you don't see these types. Also another mental health
king took a long break, took a nine month break
after twenty twenty two Worlds to focus on his mental health. Like,
this is someone who knows his priorities. This and also
I'm rooting for Cale, I'm rooting for him too. Do
you see his massive leg tattoo? What's the tattoo?
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It is a full, full tattoo like that covers his
entire right leg. Google this, get Google images out. And
by the way, thank you j Lo for wearing the
Versace dress in the late nineties. So we even have
Google images because we wouldn't have it without j Loo.
So I know Jlo. It's going to a rough moment
right now. She had to cancel the tour. But pay
(24:47):
some respect to Jaylo because she's the reason why we
have Google images and we can google Caleb Dressel's full
leg tattoo.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Which have you seen it? It's a lot of line art.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Listen. I'm not saying I love the design. I'm saying
I've never seen this on an Olympic swimmer before. Badass vibes. Caleb.
We love you, Caleb, we love you. We're obsessed with you.
We want to invite you to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
In the Olympic village, you're gonna be bored, so come
and talk to us.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
There's gonna be temptations though. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
No, no, because.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
If I'm in the Olympic village, I'll tell you who.
I'm slipping a note mister Dressel. I'm saying, Hi, it's
nice to meet you. And then we take hands and
I put a little note in his hands and it
says my room number.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Wow, that's how you got it.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That's how I flirt, Hi, how are you? I slipped
them a little note, tiny handwritten note. We remember before
we were like, we want drama. Get this. Depending on
his performance in Paris, he could become the second most
decorated US Olympian, depending on how Katie Leadecki does. So
(25:50):
remember when we said like men and women weren't competing,
they actually are in terms of the history books. Who
is going to become the second most decorated US Olympian
after Michael Phelps? It be Caleb Dressel or Katie Ladaki. Wow,
what and now the Housewives moment we were watching for.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
This is the Housewives moments we were wishing for. Forget
Billy Jean King and that other guy. This is the
Battle of the Sexes we've been waiting for.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
By the way, really underrated a good movie.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
I didn't see it.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You have so many sports movies to watch. You have
to watch Bendett like Beckham, and you have to watch
Battle of a Sexist. Otherwise, you can't claim to be
a fan of Kieran Knightley or Emma Stone.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Oh, this is starting to go a little too far
for you to question Left. The podcast is officially gone
left episode two, and you question my fandom of these
actors and actresses, you have got another thing coming.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I want to talk to you offline. I want to
talk to you offline. And I'm pointing we're gonna wrap
this pockcast up and then I need to talk to
you offline. This is the way you treated me today,
very very unacceptable. Let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
And let's give the metals out. Okay, bronze, bronze, I'm
gonna give my bronze to Oh, This.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Is so hard. This is hard. You know what, I
think we have four I think we have to just
leave someone out of it because we don't want to
preasure her.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Okay, but okay, we've got gold, silver, and bronze. Let's
do palladium. Palladium metal is going to be our fourth medal.
Fourth place palladium. I'm gonna give to Katie Ladeci.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Okay, you've taken a side in the Ladecki vers Dressel
fake war. We're making up about who's going to become
the second most decorated Olympian.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
And I'm gonna give. And you can disagree with me
if you want. I'm gonna give.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I don't, I won't.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I'm gonna give bronze to Kleab.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Okay, okay, what took him out of the running for
silver and gold? Because all he did, all he did
was show up, make us a little h word, be
a great dad, have an interesting tattoo, and be an
amazing athlete. So I don't understand, well, I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
That's a diamond dozen to me. There are straight fathers
who look hot with tattoos all over the world. I
can tell you that. Okay, I'm in Vancouver, Canada right now,
and they are everywhere lucky.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
So that's why.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
And the reason I gave him Bronx is because between
Sha Carry and Simone, I go, this is tough.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Because Shakira got to give Simone the silver.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
I was just gonna say, we're giving Simona silver because
we can't give her too much pressure with gold. Sha
Carry is going to wew us in Paris. I know it.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Sha Carry, you spiritually have won the gold medal on
this podcast because we're giving you the gold medal that
you deserved in twenty twenty. Because these squares couldn't take
you should carry us to victory. Shake carry us to victory.
And now that you're off the stuff, you're gonna run
so fast. First of all, can I say this is
(28:52):
because a lot of people need to smoke weed to
manage their anxiety. Yeah, okay, And actually it's medicinal. And
this is ridiculous and I'm so tired of squares. Oh
my god. Can I say something? Yeah, rub some THHC.
You know who? It was kind of anti marijuana. My
own father, and he had very bad knees and I
(29:12):
bought him. It's like this THC. Like rub like this
vix rub it's THHC or it must be CBD. I
don't know, Hun. I think it was like THHG but
he put it on his knee. Pain no more. Okay,
I'm saying THHD can be very helpful in terms of like,
you know, it's it's medicinal. I just I hate the
(29:34):
way this went down. So she Carri wins our gold
medal on this episode. She is what we are looking
forward to the most. We want her redemption, we want
her reputation restored, We want victory for her. We know
we will see it. She is going and galvanized and not.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
High, and I hope that for all of us, really,
all in all situations in life.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Can I be honest with you? Can I be totally transparent?
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Please?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's Saturday, it's twelve thirty PM. I might smoke some, Shakarry.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
It's the smoke hour, as Willie Nelson put it.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I tell you something. You know who is very proud
of sha carry Beyonce.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
I have no doubt.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
There is no doubt Shakarry is getting.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
The Beyonce flowers, the bouquet that Beyonce sends two people
every now and then. She deserves it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
There's no question who deserves those flowers. And it's sugary.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
It's sha Carry and Simone and Katie and Caleb.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
All the four, whether they're palladium, bronze, silver or gold.
We are watching these four and we're watching all of
the Olympians. And this has been our episode that really
zeros in on the top girls. So now you the listener,
you know who to be watching.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
These are the four. There might be more, and there
might be there will be more. A Galuley that man
is forty four.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
God, it really it wasn't a good moment when I
realized I wanted to be you know, well, that was
actually the first time I ever saw Sebastian stan So
just another reason why Itanya was a great film. Listen,
next episode, we're gonna be getting into the Olympic village.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
And if you thought that this podcast has already been
fixated on zex, just know that there's more coming. Sex sells, Okay,
it's what tells. It's what got us this podcast. I
took one look at us, they said we need these
two hotties.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
H I sent Torso shots to the producer.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Of both of us Ooh, you can't send photos of
me like that. It got us the gulner ball. Watch
every moment of the twenty twenty four Paris Olympics beginning
July twenty sixth on NBC and Peacock, and for the
first time, you can stream the twenty twenty four Paris
games on the iHeartRadio app and listen to two Guys
five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts and wherever
(31:51):
you get your podcast bo should we taken out with
the Olympics theme? Yes, woo a little. The Bot Books
Book of the Bo
Ring Ring, Ring Ring. It's episode two. Two guys, five rings,
one podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What do you make of the title of this.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I think it really says what the podcast is. There's
two guys, me and you, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
There's five rings, which you explained to me, is the
five sort of I'm putting in quotes continents that compete
in the Olympics, which I was blown away by Oceania,
And now I kind of think we should just kind
of do five. I know there's technically seven, but I
(00:38):
kind of like five.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I like five, isn't Oceanya the name of the airline and.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Lost Oceanic Airlines ocean Really happy that you said that
Oceanic Airlines flight eight fifteen, that faded flight. You know,
that plane went down and not everyone survived. But I'll
tell you what, like it was a great show, great entertainment.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yes, please do your best in I'm gonna time it
in thirty seconds. Explain the ending of Lost. Do you
think you can do that?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I can your time tis now. It's actually so basically Lost.
The people class on the island, and at the end
of the series you find out that you know, some
of them actually did get off, but they go back
to the island to sort of right their wrongs, and
(01:32):
in doing so they it was really a religious allegory.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And that's thirty seconds. I think that was the most
concise explanation of Lost I've heard in my life.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Can I tell you if you had gone back in
time and told me when I was watching season one
of Lost that it was going to end so badly
that I would be unable to even really describe what happened,
I would have been crushed. I was obsessed with Lost.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah, a lot of people were, gosh, keep forgetting this
as an Olympics podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well, the thing is like, that's sort of our whole thing.
It's like, we're gonna get around the Olympics and see,
it's not called five rings, two guys, it's called two
guys five So you kind of have to get through
us before we get to.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
The Olympics, and like it or not, we're here. We're
the guys.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know who's not lost? All of the Olympians who
qualified for the Paris twenty twenty four Olympics, they are found.
They are found in their purpose, they are found in
their drive. They are going.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
To really go for the gold, I'd say, I think
they're all going for the goals and not for nothing.
They're going for some of the brand partnerships too. Okay,
let's just say it. These people want to shill for
Ritz Crackers, for tag qeber watches, for a Coca Cola product,
(02:56):
and we celebrate that.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Thank you for speaking truth. Endorsement. Would you want as
an Olympian? What would you want sort of you know,
plaster all over your singlet on the side of your
car or your mobile, Like, what do you want? Like,
what do you want labeling you?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
This is so hard, This is really very hard. I'm
going to follow my gut, Like I said, Ritz Crackers first,
just now, I want I want Nabisco. I want anything Nabisco.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
That would be so funny. You first of all, you
being cookie branded, I think is exactly right, Cracker branded, Cracker. Oh,
Nibisco's not cookies.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, nibsco is cookies. I'm sorry, but I'm leading with
Rits like Rits is my favorite and Nibisco really slayed
that with Rits.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. I would want
to be sponsored by Sprite. Oh, Sprite, I think would
be a real I want to bring back sprite, and
I also think those colors would and everyone away.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I think you're right. I drink it every day, do you?
Actually not every day, but it's famously my favorite drink
in the world.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Now, can I ask you a question? And I really
knew the answer to this is sprite and seven up
the same thing.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It's slightly different for me. It's a Pepsi coke situation, right,
It's like the formulations are slightly different, they have different Gosh,
it's so interesting. I could write a whole movie about
soda manufacturing.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You should. There's a big demand for that.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Well in a post Barbie landscape. I think what's coming
next is the soda movie? Is the Coca Cola movie?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Didn't we talk about doing coc Cola the movie.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I pitched you a Coca Cola the movie idea, and
I'm really plud.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
To did that. I think there's huge brand recognition there.
Huge Everyone knows it. Everyone knows that, but no one
knows the story. And that we would say that was
a real little culture if this was our podcast, but
we cannot.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
We cannot.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Everyone knows Coca Cola, but no one knows the story.
Now you would do spray. Why sprite, Yeah, because I
also think the word sprite would encourage me to go fast,
like you're a sprite. You know, you feel very light,
you feel very like.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It's a great word.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I don't know. I feel energetically that it would do
wonders for me up here. And you know, it's all mental.
It's all sports is all mental. I should reveal at
this time I actually am the child of a coach. Father. Yes,
my father, Richard Rodgers, was a varsity football and baseball
coach for forty years.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
One of the great coaches of Long Island.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
One of the great coaches of Long Island. Was referred
to as a defensive genius. Okay, he was a defensive coordinator,
and he's very good at what he does. And if
I know something, it's that sports are all mental. You
gotta get your head in the game.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, okay, As Zach efron Win said.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Boy, he say it. He's saying it. He's saying it,
gets your head in the game. One of the great
sports songs.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
One of the great sports songs. Your dad is a
defensive genius.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
So he was a defensive coordinator.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I see.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
That was his position as a coach. When he did
foot and he was referred to as a defensive genius.
I mean that's what he said. I don't believe football
is an Olympic sport.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
No, it should be just fine. Well, apple doesn't fall
far from the tree because you're defensive and sometimes you're
a genius.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Drag me on the pod.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Oh my god, it's very.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Alphabet Glenda Codd. This is very what is this feeling?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
What is this feeling?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Loathing?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Now now that we've gotten brand partnerships.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Out of the way, yeah, this is That was the
two guys part.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
That was the two guys part. Now let's talk about
the five rings. Okay, yeah, today we are talking about
our top athletes to watch for the twenty twenty four
Paris Olympic Games. There's a lot of people, yeah, a
lot of people competing.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
So many people competing this year.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
How did whittle it down to three, wouldn't you say?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Incredibly difficult to whittle it down to three? And we
kind of did, kind of didn't like, there's a lot
going on here. It was very hard. On the last episode,
we talked a ton about Simone Biles, and it's hard
to say that she is not the star of the games, like,
she's definitely, you know, at least if you're an American
and you are, you know, supporting America in these games
(07:12):
not a given, not a given. I remember years ago
when those Canadian doubles figure skaters were competing. You remember
those dolls.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh yeah, those were really great.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
That was a whole scandal. Oh it would be really
good to have a good, solid Olympic scandal this year.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, what would that be?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I don't know. I don't want it to be dark,
but I do want it to be to have intrigue,
Like I don't I don't necessarily want a Nancy Kerrigan
Tanya Harding situation, but I don't not want that.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Well, let's remove anything criminal, sure, Like I would love
if this Burlett if there was like a Housewives esque
a fun l like Ives esque thing, like a Reality
Vontee situation.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Like we don't know why, but Simone Biles just goes
up to Katie Lady at the opening ceremony, points her
finger in her face and goes, you owe me an apology,
And she goes, I was not trying to sabotage your event.
She goes, you were trying to sabotage my event. And
by an event, they don't even mean any of the
gymnasts like stuff. They mean like it was a cocktail
party that they had prior to the opening ceremony. I
(08:17):
was supposed to be for all the top Olympus grillies
and next, so let's just say one of them is
left out. I would love to hear about the drama
behind that, you know, So Simone, like, have we talked
about her enough? I mean, again, I don't want to
put too much pressure on her, but I think.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I already know the answer to this, what if she
performs well under pressure? But I think that's kind of
when the Twisties came in in Tokyo, was when she
was feeling a lot of pressure, us being like, can
this olympian who's won seven Olympic.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Medals perform under pressure? Let's look, I don't, we don't know,
we don't know the twisties once.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Meanwhile, we haven't lifted a damn limb for any sporting
event in decades.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
No, remember, wait were you? Did you play on the
softball team that we sort of did in college?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Didn't? I came to watch in support and clap, but
you guys were all very.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I remember when you came and washed and supported and clapped.
I was playing. I think that was the last time
I grabbed a baseball bat.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Oh god, you know what, I genuinely want to do
what I want to join a volleyball league back in
New York, But I just don't have the time. And once,
you know, once I have some free time in the future.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
We should do doubles beach volleyball.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Oh my god, that would be so fun.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
We should. We should figure it out to play doubles.
Do you play tennis for the Olympics.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I can tell you something. Freshman year of high school,
lowest ranking person on the JV ladder for men's tennis.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well, that's not good.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I was so bad at it, terrible, but I appreciate
the sport.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
You don't think now you'd be better?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, no, not at all. Why would I be better?
My joints are falling apart. Would any better?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
It is so true what they say. I mean, it's interesting,
like when you're a little kid and you hear them
talking about like, well, you know, she's twenty six, which
is geriatric, fri a gymnast, And then you hit your
late twenties, early thirties and you realize, Wow, it's not
the same. I go to Barries three times a week.
I feel like my body is disintegrating from the inside out.
(10:21):
I used to run a four to thirty six mile.
Oh wow, at the age of sixteen.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Just goes to show, just.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Goes to show. Your body goes. Hey, if you're out
there listening, do something with your body now, because every
day you're aging, every single day, every single second. As
you listen to this, your body is giving up. So
use it, use it.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And there is nothing more important than your health. No,
I mean it.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Go to the doctor like a gay man. I say
that to everyone every three months. You need to be
at the doctor. Listen. You signed up for Matt Rogers
and Bowen Yang. But back to someone Miles. Some moan
be careful out there.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
But you know the thing about the Olympic village is
they do absolutely you know, I've heard there's condoms.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Everywhere, and that is actually the global experience that the
Olympics can give. And no matter where you are from
in the world, no matter what event you are playing in,
even if you're not even playing in the games, but
you just happen to be cruising in the Olympic village.
Use a condom.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Use a damn condom. Okay, because we don't know where
the sabotage begins and ends. Okay, and let's talk about this.
We know there's been some shady all right in the past.
Like not gonna say too much because I don't want
to put target on my back, But there might be
some countries out there we don't like America so much,
and they might be trying to sabotage our athletes. They
(11:41):
might be sending in people, you know, sort of crawling
with the stuff, and they're they're trying to needcap us
in the bedroom. So finish your events. That would be
my advice.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yeah, don't get Jeff Galulid in the bedroom, honey.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Don't get me started on Jeff Blully. Simone I think
is going to do great. I just want everyone to
leave her alone until she does the events, because you know,
(12:22):
she could potentially tie the all time gold medal record
by a female athlete, and that's of any country. Okay,
It's just there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Let's just quickly run through some of the numbers. She
needs more than four to break the all time gold
medal record by a US woman, Jenny Thompson swimming at eight,
needs one medal of any color to break the tie
with Shinnon Miller for most Olympic medals by a US
gymnast at seven.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Were going to do that. She's going to do that.
I'm she's going to do that.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, needs more than one gold medal to break the
record for most Olympic gold medals by a US gymnast
at five of any gender. No, I think she. I
think she'll probably, I.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Mean, no pressure on her, but I think she will
do all this stuff. Not to say it'll be incredibly
disappointing and and will all feel not as good if
she doesn't do this. But again, no pressure, all the
most decorated, you know, female athlete of all time, blah
blah blah. Like, just have fun. Just have fun.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
That's the least you can do.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
She's twenty seven years old, and can you believe they're
calling her old? Can? First of all, you couldn't pay
me to go back to being twenty seven? Okay. The
return to Saturn not a million dollars. No, No, Simona
is going through her return to Saturn like next week.
And that's why I'm saying, go easy on Simone. There's
a lot going on the basically what's happening in Simone Biles'
(13:50):
life right now And you can find this out if
you listen to any media that RuPaul is a part
of or Ariana Grande's new album. The position of Saturn
right now is in the same exact spot it was
when Simone was born. This is astrology and this really
does factor into the games. Yes, so she is under
a lot of pressure. There is a lot of upheaval
in her life astrologically, the stars the way they're positioned,
(14:12):
like win loser draw in these games. Simone Biles is
about to be taken on the ride of her life astrologically,
and that has to be respected. Leave her alone. There
is a lot going on. Take the pressure off her.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Oh, thank you for saying that. I think we're coming
off of cancer season when the Olympics will be on
going into I don't know what the season after that.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Is Gemini No, wait, no, that's wrong with Gemini's.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Now now it's Gemini into cancer?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Is it? Leo? Leo?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It might be Leo.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
It's gonna be a lot of performative stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
If files been to the metal of any color she
will be the oldest US woman to win an Olympic
gymnastics medal since nineteen forty eight. This age thing is
really tripping me up.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Twenty seven years old and old. Twenty seven years old
and she's elderly. They're ready to toss her. That's what
they do to women.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yeah, but not Simone. Don't count her out. No, I
think Simone is gonna have a bright future.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Well, she's certainly got that star quality. You know, how
tall would you say she is?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I'm gonna say four foot ten she is four eight.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Wow, she's a little slip of a thing. She's a
little nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I think she's gonna be very, very important to no
espionage efforts.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Four eight. I can't. I can't. My mind can't wrap
around that.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Four eight Does that make sense? Like she can really
sneak in.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
There, diva. She's Simone Biles. She can get into anything
because she's a decorated, world renowned athlete. She's cutting the
line at the club. This is yeah, yeah, hi, I'm Simone. Hey, Simone,
we're so honored that you're here. It's not even like
we're so happy you're here or you're on the list.
It's You're honored, You're honored. What a chik name, too, Simone, what.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
A chek name. Now, let's talk about another chic person.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
In the water. Oh to be shekh in the water?
Not since Selena Gomez have we seen someone so chak
in the water. That is my That is what came
out of my mouth just now, because I meant, did
you see a single student video with Selena Gomez?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Is that when she was chic in the water.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
You've never seen anyone look better in the water than
Selena Gomez. I swear to God, if only she could
swim competitively, that would be something to watch. But well,
we have Katie La Ducky.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
We wouldn't even be talking about Katie l Ducky if
Selena Koonez could swim. Give bet.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I would love if one of the pop girlies just
made a hard pivot to Olympics.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
It's like when I'm Mike White was on Survivor.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
It's sort of just like that.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
You don't have to be doing this.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Oh lookod for you? Certainly not. No, Mike White had
no right being as good at Survivor as he was.
Came in second place. Did you know that?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
It's very impressive. And now you do remind me I
have not seen his season.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
You should watch his season. It's wild.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I think Katie Ladeki will be not the Mike White
of the Olympics. No, but whoever beat Mike White in
his season of Survivor. But we can't control these people's lives.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
No, no, but we can influence them Katie. Katie needs
three medals to become the second most decorated US Olympian
of all time after Michael Phelps. Can we just get
into that for a second, like this is Michael Phelps
has twenty eight Olympic medals. If Katie gets three, she'll
(17:41):
get to that two spot, which means, I mean, this
is major, this is history.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Which means if she gets two gold medals, she ties
for all time gold medals for a female athlete at nine,
which is wild to me. How are you as a swimmer,
It was okay. I don't have to build for it.
My torso is too short, my legs are too short.
I just don't have I'm not, as I said to
(18:06):
your last episode, I don't have the litheness that is
required of a swimmer to succeed.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
You have so much strength, though, and I mean that
in every sense of the word. You have so much
strength to you. Thank you, and so do you. I
only see myself reflected in my sister. We are so
emotional and the Olympics haven't even started, you know what
I mean. Like we're already emotional, Like Bowen and I
are crying right now on the podcast, and it's just
(18:33):
because we we know what it takes. We know what
it takes.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I bet if we put our mind to it, we
could be We could be Olympians.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I'm telling you we need to figure out is it.
Maybe it's not tennis, because you're saying tennis has been
for you. I think it's beach volleyball. I think me
and you beach volleyball is not only something that could
be fun, but it's something that could really pop off.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Oh yeah, I think we write the movie. I think
it's like Forget Top Gun, Like we're writing a whole
movie about beach volleyball.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
And do we call it Sandy Boys?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I think we have to.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
No, that's a first idea.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
No, I think we have. No, it's the right idea.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Can we say, just for everyone out there listening, this
is just advice for us. First idea always is the best.
Go with it. If you're a creative, if you're someone
who's writer, performer, performer, the first idea is always the best.
Always go with your first idea.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
And anytime you hear someone say that seems very first thought,
that's not a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
No, no, no, just be like, yes it is, and
then be encouraged.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
And then that's your press story. That's the press tour story.
It was the first idea.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, I want to talk about one more diva and
it's Shakarry Richardson to carry h Carry. Now. We talked
about how we were looking forward to seeing some drama.
(20:11):
I don't want to see any drama when it comes
to Sha Carry, because, as we know, she was disqualified
for testing positive for marijuana at the twenty twenty Olympic Trials.
But she enjoyed a breakout season in twenty twenty three,
complete with a one hundred meters world title. She's a
sprinter where she defeated the Jamaican favorites, like she just
really crushed it and she should have been in those
(20:33):
twenty twenty games and it was huge mess when she
was disqualified.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Well, can I just say the thing about shure like
literally any other drug, she's out right yeah. But marijuana.
It's like if she can still win like from a weed. Hello,
you would all be shaking in your boots, shuddering at
the thought of her running without weed in her system.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Come on now, it's like, weed is not going to
make you faster. Trust us. If you can trust us
on one thing, it's that we'd slows you down. And
if Sha Carrie wants to do a little reefer, if
she wants to get a little reefer, madness letter, but
she's only hurting herself. It's not like she's giving herselfs
a performance enhancing drug. I would love to see it.
(21:21):
If that, If Mary want to wear a performance enhancing drug,
we would be in the Olympics. We wouldn't need to
be talking about our beach volleyball thing. We would be
doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh my god, honey. If watching X Men ninety seven,
say it was an Olympics sport while I was off
my ass, I'd be winning gold.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Baby. If you made having opinions on Bravos the Valley
while Stone, I would be Katie Ladecki right now, second
only to Michael Phelps. Only Michael Phelps did you know,
years ago, I did a sketch where I played Michael Phelps,
and the game of the sketch, which is that was
just the little shop talk. The game meaning the comedic idea.
The central bit of the sketch was that he was
(22:03):
chowing down on McDonald's, and they practically made me eat
the McDonald's again and again and again. I didn't know
the concept of like miming the food. I had to
sit when I played Michael Phelps in a sketch, And
how do you even do that? I mean, like, I
don't know, but I ate a ton of McDonald's. And
I'll never forgive Michael Phelps for his diet for what
(22:24):
it did to me in a comedic sketch. It's untenable. Oh,
he should be tried for crimes, criminal court, criminal court.
He should go to criminal court for marijuana offenses as
it relates to McDonald's consumption after the fact, as.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It relates to Matt Rogers playing him in a sketch
where the game, as in the central communic idea of
the sketch was that he had to eat a bit.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Of showers down. He had just wrapped up his events.
He hit up McDonald's, which I get it.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
We do want to mention one more athlete this I
think you're gonna like this one. Matt Okay, Caleb Dressel
sweety hotty?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Is he a hotty? Let me look it up.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I think he's gonna be like the first sort of
object for a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Hold on a second. Yeah, I just google, like, I
just googled him and I have a big crush on him.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Now, well, there you go. That's all it takes. Listen,
he took a big break. He's he just had a kid.
He is living in a sweet, sweet life, and he
is he lives on a farm. He works on a farm.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
This person would have ruined my life in middle school,
Apollo Anton, Oh.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, oh no, I say, oh no.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
This guy would have taken over.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
It would have been Caleb Caleb. Caleb Caleb is very special.
And look here he's wearing a speedo in this People magazine.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Shoot. He's really going for it. Oh my god. That's
the thing. It's like, I just Olympics. They give you
perfect specimens of human beings. Like remember just watching like
as a kid and being like, oh yeah, that's how
a body can look. You don't see them. They don't
make them like this unless they're Olympics.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
They don't make them like this.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
You don't see these Kala Dressel types.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
No, you don't see these types. Also another mental health
king took a long break, took a nine month break
after twenty twenty two Worlds to focus on his mental health. Like,
this is someone who knows his priorities. This and also
I'm rooting for Cale, I'm rooting for him too. Do
you see his massive leg tattoo? What's the tattoo?
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It is a full, full tattoo like that covers his
entire right leg. Google this, get Google images out. And
by the way, thank you j Lo for wearing the
Versace dress in the late nineties. So we even have
Google images because we wouldn't have it without j Loo.
So I know Jlo. It's going to a rough moment
right now. She had to cancel the tour. But pay
(24:47):
some respect to Jaylo because she's the reason why we
have Google images and we can google Caleb Dressel's full
leg tattoo.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Which have you seen it? It's a lot of line art.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Listen. I'm not saying I love the design. I'm saying
I've never seen this on an Olympic swimmer before. Badass vibes. Caleb.
We love you, Caleb, we love you. We're obsessed with you.
We want to invite you to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
In the Olympic village, you're gonna be bored, so come
and talk to us.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
There's gonna be temptations though. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
No, no, because.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
If I'm in the Olympic village, I'll tell you who.
I'm slipping a note mister Dressel. I'm saying, Hi, it's
nice to meet you. And then we take hands and
I put a little note in his hands and it
says my room number.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Wow, that's how you got it.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That's how I flirt, Hi, how are you? I slipped
them a little note, tiny handwritten note. We remember before
we were like, we want drama. Get this. Depending on
his performance in Paris, he could become the second most
decorated US Olympian, depending on how Katie Leadecki does. So
(25:50):
remember when we said like men and women weren't competing,
they actually are in terms of the history books. Who
is going to become the second most decorated US Olympian
after Michael Phelps? It be Caleb Dressel or Katie Ladaki. Wow,
what and now the Housewives moment we were watching for.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
This is the Housewives moments we were wishing for. Forget
Billy Jean King and that other guy. This is the
Battle of the Sexes we've been waiting for.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
By the way, really underrated a good movie.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
I didn't see it.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You have so many sports movies to watch. You have
to watch Bendett like Beckham, and you have to watch
Battle of a Sexist. Otherwise, you can't claim to be
a fan of Kieran Knightley or Emma Stone.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Oh, this is starting to go a little too far
for you to question Left. The podcast is officially gone
left episode two, and you question my fandom of these
actors and actresses, you have got another thing coming.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I want to talk to you offline. I want to
talk to you offline. And I'm pointing we're gonna wrap
this pockcast up and then I need to talk to
you offline. This is the way you treated me today,
very very unacceptable. Let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
And let's give the metals out. Okay, bronze, bronze, I'm
gonna give my bronze to Oh, This.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Is so hard. This is hard. You know what, I
think we have four I think we have to just
leave someone out of it because we don't want to
preasure her.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Okay, but okay, we've got gold, silver, and bronze. Let's
do palladium. Palladium metal is going to be our fourth medal.
Fourth place palladium. I'm gonna give to Katie Ladeci.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Okay, you've taken a side in the Ladecki vers Dressel
fake war. We're making up about who's going to become
the second most decorated Olympian.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
And I'm gonna give. And you can disagree with me
if you want. I'm gonna give.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I don't, I won't.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I'm gonna give bronze to Kleab.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Okay, okay, what took him out of the running for
silver and gold? Because all he did, all he did
was show up, make us a little h word, be
a great dad, have an interesting tattoo, and be an
amazing athlete. So I don't understand, well, I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
That's a diamond dozen to me. There are straight fathers
who look hot with tattoos all over the world. I
can tell you that. Okay, I'm in Vancouver, Canada right now,
and they are everywhere lucky.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
So that's why.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
And the reason I gave him Bronx is because between
Sha Carry and Simone, I go, this is tough.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Because Shakira got to give Simone the silver.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
I was just gonna say, we're giving Simona silver because
we can't give her too much pressure with gold. Sha
Carry is going to wew us in Paris. I know it.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Sha Carry, you spiritually have won the gold medal on
this podcast because we're giving you the gold medal that
you deserved in twenty twenty. Because these squares couldn't take
you should carry us to victory. Shake carry us to victory.
And now that you're off the stuff, you're gonna run
so fast. First of all, can I say this is
(28:52):
because a lot of people need to smoke weed to
manage their anxiety. Yeah, okay, And actually it's medicinal. And
this is ridiculous and I'm so tired of squares. Oh
my god. Can I say something? Yeah, rub some THHC.
You know who? It was kind of anti marijuana. My
own father, and he had very bad knees and I
(29:12):
bought him. It's like this THC. Like rub like this
vix rub it's THHC or it must be CBD. I
don't know, Hun. I think it was like THHG but
he put it on his knee. Pain no more. Okay,
I'm saying THHD can be very helpful in terms of like,
you know, it's it's medicinal. I just I hate the
(29:34):
way this went down. So she Carri wins our gold
medal on this episode. She is what we are looking
forward to the most. We want her redemption, we want
her reputation restored, We want victory for her. We know
we will see it. She is going and galvanized and not.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
High, and I hope that for all of us, really,
all in all situations in life.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Can I be honest with you? Can I be totally transparent?
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Please?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's Saturday, it's twelve thirty PM. I might smoke some, Shakarry.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
It's the smoke hour, as Willie Nelson put it.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I tell you something. You know who is very proud
of sha carry Beyonce.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
I have no doubt.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
There is no doubt Shakarry is getting.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
The Beyonce flowers, the bouquet that Beyonce sends two people
every now and then. She deserves it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
There's no question who deserves those flowers. And it's sugary.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
It's sha Carry and Simone and Katie and Caleb.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
All the four, whether they're palladium, bronze, silver or gold.
We are watching these four and we're watching all of
the Olympians. And this has been our episode that really
zeros in on the top girls. So now you the listener,
you know who to be watching.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
These are the four. There might be more, and there
might be there will be more. A Galuley that man
is forty four.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
God, it really it wasn't a good moment when I
realized I wanted to be you know, well, that was
actually the first time I ever saw Sebastian stan So
just another reason why Itanya was a great film. Listen,
next episode, we're gonna be getting into the Olympic village.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
And if you thought that this podcast has already been
fixated on zex, just know that there's more coming. Sex sells, Okay,
it's what tells. It's what got us this podcast. I
took one look at us, they said we need these
two hotties.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
H I sent Torso shots to the producer.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Of both of us Ooh, you can't send photos of
me like that. It got us the gulner ball. Watch
every moment of the twenty twenty four Paris Olympics beginning
July twenty sixth on NBC and Peacock, and for the
first time, you can stream the twenty twenty four Paris
games on the iHeartRadio app and listen to two Guys
five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts and wherever
(31:51):
you get your podcast bo should we taken out with
the Olympics theme? Yes, woo a little. The Bot Books
Book of the Bo
Hosts And Creators
Matt Rogers
Bowen Yang
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