September 28, 2022 • 25 mins
Drag star Kerri Colby has come came a long way from her Southern upbringing. Today, she’s one of the breakout stars from Season 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. On this episode, Kerri joins Betty Who to talk about how she uses drag to inspire others to find validation, acceptance, and visibility. Kerri understands the importance of respecting where you came from as part of the journey to finding who you were meant to become.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, and welcome back to Unfiltered, the JBL podcast
and I heart Radio production and partnership with jb L.
I am your host, Betty who. I am so excited
about today's guest in today's episode because something I have
been thinking a ton about recently is how you can
share and set an example for people without putting yourself
(00:22):
too much on blast. You know, how do you come
to reconcile the balance between giving yourself to the people
who follow you and see you and want to know
more about you, while still holding onto a little bit
of it for yourself. Balance is actually a very big
theme of our episode today. So I could not be
more excited to introduce the one and only ms Carry Colby.
(00:42):
Oh my gosh, you guys, seriously talented drag performer. As
you already know, she is as fine as she is fierce.
You may know her from season fourteen and Rupulse drag Race.
Oh my God. Carrie is also an open book, which
is one of my favorite pots about her. She has
used her platforms like drag Race to share her life
story and by others with her visibility, whether friends or
(01:02):
fans from the legendary House of Colby. Yes, Carrie is
a trans queen trail blazer and a lip sync legend
and now one of my new best friends. So let's
just get right into it, shall we. Carrie Colby, I
can't believe you're here with me today and we're doing
this together. We are metavers and connected, and I feel
(01:24):
like it's in our destiny to be connected often and
I like it. I'm here for it. I know. We
got to tell the people we would literally just together
a couple of days ago playing a show in Dallas,
just you know, holding it down for the people and
the heat, sweating it out for the South. Honey, that
is exactly what we really did. I remember seeing you
come off stage and you were like, please don't hug me.
I'm disgusting, and I was like, I feel you. I'm
(01:44):
about to be that way trenched. We call it the
splash zone on tour when we get really hot. If
you're in the first four rows, we're doing turns where
it's moving and just it'll come off of our bodies
and it will hit you in the splash zone. So
you're welcome. I've been so excited to I'm like, you know,
of course, now we're besties because we played a show together,
and we go with so far back now. But I
genuinely believe that you were the perfect person to be
(02:05):
here with us doing this together because you This entire
podcast is supposed to be about being authentic and trying
to find yourself and living out loud. If you will
let me show you my true colors, honey, please, So
I guess let's like start at the very beginning, which is,
how did you? I know this is the obvious question,
but how did you start doing drag? I want to
(02:27):
know sort of where we all began here? Oh my gosh,
it's a long, long journey. But I feel like any
feminine spirited individual that resides in good old Texas, specifically
the Dallas metro Plex, there shall be some cross dressing,
I understand, And I feel like that's kind of like,
(02:49):
in a really funny way, how everything started for me.
I feel like I always knew that there was a
very feminine energy and entity, and in my story and
my journey, I think my biggest story arc, or my
biggest antagonist, really was my trauma. Because I always felt
to do one thing, I always felt to be one way,
(03:09):
I always felt to explore something and I was never
allowed to. I was never encouraged to. In fact, I
was punished oftentimes for that. And so my journey into
drag and everything really started to take hold of itself
when I was a little under age. But we were
in Dallas around fifteen to eighteen, and I was finally
(03:31):
in a place where I was in my own zone.
I was thankfully living with a roommate who saved my
life literally, but I was not looking over my back, like,
am I gonna get beat by my parents for playing
with this Barbie doll? Am I gonna have to write
a whole Psalms nineteen fifty two verse? Because I wanted
to play with some girls hair and like see what
(03:51):
it feels like, because I like that ship. But I
started to like finally tiptoe out, and it took baby steps.
It took putting a beautiful acrylic piece of plastic hair
on my head for one time. It took, you know,
getting the most glamorous handmade gown from somewhere in Asia
at a BCBG boutique. Honey, hello, you know that was
(04:13):
my first dress ever. So there was a lot of
stages to that. But I think drag really started from
my mind, and it started from me stepping out and
experimenting and exploring with my feminine side and building on that. Now,
there was a lot to build because it was definitely
a little humorous at first. Well it's so special. I mean, like,
look at where you are now, especially coming from a
(04:35):
place where your ought, your drag has come from this
like place of repression, in place of I cannot be myself.
I'm so proud and happy and so glad that you
put yourself in a position to be able to succeed
and be yourself. And hello, Victory, it's me. Hello, We're here. Yes.
I love hearing, especially queer, trans people of color, all
(04:58):
the beautiful layers and spectrums of our rainbow. I love
hearing about those success stories of someone having a moment
where they find themselves at a very early age. But
I think the one very important part of my story
is especially coming from a person of colors perspective. Unfortunately,
my story is so common, and that is the problem.
(05:21):
I think that there's suppression in a lot of the
umbrella of people that come from a repressive background and
very religiously structured. You know, that's our story, and I
love that I'm able to give that story a little
extra layer of life. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
This is the generation now where we get to break
the cycle. Will you like paint me a picture? As
(05:41):
far as how it started, like you know, you said,
there's a little piece of a cruelic care here and
maybe a little lips, Like where do you learn to
do makeup? Are you a YouTube makeup queen? Like how
did you sort of grow starting from like the piece
of aquilic care that you were putting on to being
this like completely evolved, Like you know your look, you
know your shape, you know what you're thing. So we're
talking like fourteen. This was the era of like the
(06:04):
very like made up super tan, gaudy Barbie dolls. This
was very like Kim Kardashian's like glam Lashes era. This
was Lily Galici, this was Angel Brinks. Beyonce was popping
off with her fashions and stuff. So it was like
all the girls were entering their like glammy Barbie emulated era.
(06:26):
And I was obsessed with that because it was the
most feminine thing I had seen, and I wanted to
take inspiration from that to hopefully utilize that. I got
into working in makeup as soon as I turned eighteen.
So that was where I started kind of like, Okay,
I know I like being pretty. I know I like
being feminine or whatever. How can I learn to get
(06:47):
a better skill set around it? So I started doing
cosmetics as soon as I turned eighteen. I worked for clinique.
When I tell you, I had the most beat bitches
walking like you would have thought it was a Matt
counter with a co on, And I think that kind
of got me in trouble at the time, but you know,
I made it my own thing. I was like, we're
gonna make you fabulous. You were being authentically you, no
(07:08):
matter where you were going, authentically be in good old
Texas holding good town. So I went from there and
then I when I moved to l A and I
was like eighteen nineteen at that point, I never really
like lost focus of like I want to focus on
learning the aesthetic that I'm obsessed with. So I went
in from there and worked at tom Ford Beauty Charlotte
(07:31):
Silbury and just started shaping my artistry skill set more
and more and more cleaner cleaner, cleaner, and eventually the
campoint where I was like being the kind of girl,
I want to be uh, And we were still doing
drag at this point, Like the whole drag into transition
thing was a trauma lama in itself that came from
my brother passing and me being like I need to
get myself together because he's not here no more. That's
(07:53):
an extension of my family's gone and what what am I?
Where am I? What am I doing? But to that point,
I was like, I need more money to be able
to afford this fantasy, the these shoes, because at that
point it went from acrylic hare too. If it's not
human hair, don't touch me with it. Oh my gosh,
you know, no more shaking goes. No more, this ain't
no chicken shit shaker go hood if we don't got
(08:14):
tired for that. And that was when I kind of
went from working in a beauty counter and doing other
people's faces, like I still wanted to keep up with that.
My focus on the fantasy that I liked never ever changed,
And at that point I was like taking more reference
from YouTube and beauty influencers because that was like, I think,
what are we talking at that point, Like twenty seventeen eighteen,
(08:35):
it's beautiful to see that That's something that I remember
when I was because that's again I'm on the edge
between when that internet sensation to be who you are
broke out and like before that, especially come from the South,
it was like, no, we got some rules for you
because you need you need to follow these patterns to
be what you're supposed to be, and if you're not
what you're supposed to be, then now you're a problem.
So I'm so curious about how it feels for you now.
(08:57):
The show we just played in dollars together, like talk
about queer. It's like exclusively just like the gayest night ever.
It was a gays softball league. We played the after party.
It was like this big, fun queer night. When you
go back to Texas when you're there, do you feel
like this push and pull between like, oh my god,
I had so much trauma here, but also look at
how beautiful this queer community is, Like, what's your experience
going home now off to having kind of this entire
(09:20):
life experience you've had where you really do get to
be yourself when you've come to terms with who you are.
You explained it perfectly, you know, like you hit it
right on the spot about that there's there is a
lot of trauma, so it's almost like I'm on the
verge of a panic attack everywhere I go because it's
a familiar street. I remember what happened. And even some
of my trauma came from my queer community because you know,
(09:41):
going back a few years ago, there was a lot
less evolving. People were projecting and they were masking, especially
about trans people. I feel like that has been a
really new space. Work of the queer community has had
to be like, we have to make room for the
trans community here, because like that's the whole point exactly.
And education is key. I've like a lot of times,
especially in southern queer communities, people love to learn about themselves,
(10:05):
you know, like I don't want to put nobody on
the spot, but like the white twinks, like whatever, they
would learn specifically things that applied to being a twink
and being Caucasian, and that was their ministry. That was
their struggle, and that was their thing. Everyone's the main
character in their own life. They were all yeah. And
I think that that's something that really has changed in
Texas since I was there, where I think there's been
(10:26):
enough people coming in from other places it has reshaped
it a little bit. The people do seem to be
in a much better headspace. What's the balance for you
between like living by example and having sort of it's
definitely a bud and to Bolt, I'm always trying to
find my balance for that. So I wonder how you
feel about where you sort of stuck up and what's
the right chemistry for you to feel like you're doing
(10:48):
something really important while also like being an entertainer, that's
like making people have fun. The way I look at
it is number one me like the product or the
visual people see. This was built over time. There was
a lot to me, it was the braun Um, but
(11:09):
it was built. You know. This was my way of
fixing my insecurities. But before that, there was a lot
of trauma that made me insecure and I had to
learn how to work out of that and in my
life personally. My story is not just like I said,
It's not just like I thought. It snapped it I wanted,
I got it success amazing. It was a lot of
things that were a little hard, and also beyond that,
(11:30):
things that were completely out of my control. When I
think about that, I really try hard not to allow
an ego to really take over a little egos. Fine,
you gotta have a sense of self. But I think
for me, I'm always coming from a place of humility
and humbleness, because this wasn't something that was just like
I want to do this and I'm gonna do it. Period.
(11:53):
It was so many things that came to me sometimes
outside of me that I'm like, Okay, I'm part of
something bigger, and that's where my focus always is. And
I always think about the young met balance is something
we're going to chase to the day that we stop breathing.
You know, I'm a Libra. I'm always my whole life
is about trying to figure out the balance. She's all
about balanced. Well, so speaking of that and kind of
(12:14):
like also out of just curiosity for me, where do
you find especially you've gone through so much in your
gender expression right finding out what makes you feel the
most to you. So in all of that, you've gone
through this whole journey from like drag was sort of
the first, like this exciting place that made you feel
like really safe, and then this is you know, shaped
and grown and now you've transitioned and you are you know,
(12:36):
I don't want to put words in your mouth, but
living happily in this new kind of like world and
body and self and here you are and you've arrived.
Inside of you, is there still this sort of divine
feminine divine masculine? Like? Is there a balance still inside
of you that feels or are you like, honey, she
is a feminine or you are there's still things that
you like hold onto from your masculine self, like, I'm
(12:59):
really curious about that. To me, my transition really only
happened in me being one hundred percent authentic, honest and
real with myself. And there are girls out there that
like they ran from their previous gender. They couldn't do it.
It was it was trauma, never never, never never. They
gotta be woman, woman, woman. There's no balance for me personally.
(13:22):
I've never rejected or turned a blind eye to my
previous self. I had just had a whole thing on
Twitter where I addressed my old self as my dead
twin brother, because it literally was like my other half
that got severed and dearly beloved, deally departed. I don't
identify with that anymore. But that doesn't mean that I'm
going to erase everything I learned because I didn't transition
(13:45):
until the pandemic. The pandemic really got us in in
us right. I was battling doing that, but I was afraid.
I was terrified of people's opinions. I was terrified of
what people might say. I was terrified of that awkward,
ugly stay age. But when the lockdown happened, I could
not stand being around myself without exploring. And part of
(14:09):
the exploration was defining my masculine and where that is,
and defining my feminine where that isn't where I want
both to be well and also like you know, giving
yourself the grace. Yeah. More on Unfiltered the JBL podcast
after a quick break, and now back to the show. Okay,
(14:42):
I have to ask you, like just I feel like
this is the question that I feel like everyone's gonna
want to know, So we have to jump here jump
hunting Iconically, you wore j Lo's Green Milan Fashion Week dress,
vetach on RuPaul's drag race Coutore girls. Any what does
that moment even feel I can't even like that's it
(15:03):
feels like there's so much. It's like RuPaul, You're on RuPaul,
so you're like whoa, And then it's like you're in
the j Loo dress and you're like whoa, and it's
just like there's a lot of layers of woe there.
So I just want to check in on how you
felt about it. And then you had to lip sync
in it, so you're like whoa, whoa, because that dress
be going places. You know what I mean? That dress
is made to move, but it's not meant to do
no super Bowl halftime before. I'll tell you that. It
(15:26):
was a bucket list item to even be affiliated with Jay.
Look like I said, I'm a Leo, She's a Leo.
I've always really appreciated her. I ride for j Loo
so hot, it was amazing, And I happened to have
a very close friend, um my house brother, Mr August.
Shout out to Agust Getty, Honey, oh my god, I
love August. Okay, this is a connection for us. I
didn't okay, I didn't realize I'm obsessed with August. Yeah,
(15:48):
I love love love Okay, great, we're here. He's everything everything.
So the dress was actually his, and when we got
that list, I was aware that he recently had acquired
that dress, so I was like, like, I know that's
his baby, but like do you think isn't anyway I
could potucially wear it. The show's already like, oh my god,
I'm here. This is something I've watched as a kid.
Helped me out a lot when I was dealing with
(16:09):
my crazy moments in my early ages in Dallas, and
it's all coming together and it really made me feel
so I think that was one of the first times,
which is kind of sad, but it's just honest and reality.
That was one of the first time that I looked
at myself and I had not only felt beautiful, but
I felt proud, like I achieved a dream. I'm living
(16:32):
a dream out loud, and this is everything. I definitely
thought that I was gonna win um that challenge and
then I got told nope, it's tound to lip sync.
And then imagine it was just panic, but almost like
exhilarating because I'm like, if there's one thing people gonna
pay attention to with this, and it opened doors for
literally to be here. I heart Radio. I opened for
(16:53):
j Lo herself because Icon Awards this year, did you
get to meet her? Meet her? Say hi to her.
We had a moment because she actually came in early.
Leo's one thing you're going to get them on. No
matter how successfully are, if it comes to iconography about
their life, they're about it. They are committed. So she flew.
She literally had flown in a little early for dress
rehearsals to make sure and we had so much representation
(17:15):
in the queer culture that was embodying her, her eras
and all that. So she was there like on them
like I turned this way. I didn't spend this way.
I love you. If you're gonna snap, snap with this hand, honey,
snap with one finger left like she wanted to see
herself so specific. I love that. And when it came
to her and I, I guess it's a good thing.
(17:37):
She didn't say much because she had no notes, which
is good. I'm honored. But like to me, I was like,
can you make an you give me one? And she
literally like no, no notes, Like okay, just do you
honestly put that on your tumbstone? No notes? Jennifer long
Jlo told me she had no notes, Like yes, that's iconic. Okay,
(17:58):
So speaking of lips, saying, what a crazy moment, do
you have a song that is your like this is
kind of like I feel like the drag equivalent of like,
what's your go to karaoke song? What's your like lip
sync for your life? I'm gonna I'm gonna funk everybody
up right now with this lip sync song. It depends
on my energy. I have so many different inspirations, but like,
if you want me to go to somewhere, I don't
(18:19):
even know where I'm going, give me Whitney understandable. Are
you like an up tempo Whitney or you like an
end night kind of Whitney. I'm a little bit of
all of it. You can give me Queen of the
Night because I love that reminds me of my upbringing.
You can also hit me I have nothing and just
leave it on the floor. Whitney's voice speaks to my
soul in that powerful way, so I completely understand. And
(18:42):
just remembering her story, it's just like I know, oh,
she lives on in us. So did you have a
moment where you were like, I have to be more honest.
Have you always just been super comfortable sharing yourself? How
has it changed your relationship to performance? Does it make
you feel more invested in it because you're like these
people know me now. I just want to know about
like your relationship to sort of sharing in that way
(19:03):
and how it has changed you completely completely. Well, I
always felt like I had nothing to really hold onto
for myself because like every time I would try to
find something, it was taken from me, or I'll be punished,
or it just would end up collapsing. But I think
one thing that's happened is I used to do it
out of like a coping mechanism. I used to do
(19:25):
it to like, Okay, I'm just gonna tell you everything
so you can't like come back and like judge me,
because like if you know everything now, then you're not
really going to be able to like say I didn't
know that about you you later. And now I'm at
a point where it's like, no, I've lived. I feel
a lot more comfortable now with people. I don't feel anxiety,
like everyone's staring at me, waiting for me to mess
(19:45):
up or waiting for me to do something wrong so
that they can laugh at me. I feel like now
it's like they can laugh all they want. At the
end of the day, my head, my heart, my spirit
was in a space of giving and sharing and the
people who received it out So I'm there for and
it's it is scary, that's that's scary territory. But it's
like you always have to bring yourself back to that,
(20:06):
like we only do this once. Even though in our
life it feels like we live so fast, we live
so many lives at one time, it feels like there's
a sense of rehearsal, there's a sense of preparedness that
it takes us out of that space. But you gotta remember,
we do this one time, you know, we do this
one time consciously in this moment, in this space, being
exactly who we are at this moment. Always just give
(20:28):
it your best because you never know, but you always
should just give everything you got because you want to
look back and be proud, you know. Absolutely. Okay, So
how long does your full face take for a show?
Like what's your pre show timing? Do you want just
face or like head to toe outfit, hair, everything? I
want the like head to toe show getting ready, and
(20:48):
then what's your like our pre show? How are we
like walking on the stage? For me, I make everybody
dance to music and then we all take a tequila shot,
Like what's your version of that? Okay, yes, te qui
la shot. I'm very much a tequila shot type person
to it gets them nerves down. I don't like to
be brushed, so I will literally wake up earlier to
enjoy the process and take a little longer for me
head to toe getting ready. It depends on how complex
(21:10):
it is. But like for example, today, I think this
took like two and a half hours, three hours, which
is about my normal. And then if it's like a
big event, we add a little more to it if
there's more moving. Part five, Yeah, I love a good
five hour moment. People don't realize how committed you have
to be and how much energy it takes to just
(21:31):
get ready before you're even starting the thing that you're
supposed to go do, Like especially for a gorgeous woman
like you, who is doing You're going this is ought,
this is I'm serving something here. My body is my temple,
it's my expression. I'll be honest. There's times just when
getting done, I'd be exhausted, like am I really about
to go do more? Like WHOA? Just getting into this
(21:52):
is like I'm ready for bed now? Great? Right, Like okay,
I got ready. I feel like I did set the
time to go to bed, But I feel like another
part that helps me deal with that sometimes is that
you know, I'm a lot more comfortable. And I used
to run away from who I was every day natural
because my my everyday person is a Lease and my
stage ensemble is Carry, Right. I used to run from
(22:15):
who Elase was so I could go be Carry because
Carry felt like a superhero to me, and that was
exhausting to put on and be like, no nobody can
touch Carry. Absolutely. But I think in making this a
more everyday moment right where where this is our life,
I've had to be a lot more comfortable. So I'm
not running and getting ready like, oh my god, I
(22:36):
have to fix everything. I hate what I got. I
don't like this. I gotta hurry up and be my
superhero version of myself. I'm not anything. The more that
I've relaxed and like I'm me regardless, the more that
I'm like, Okay, I could get through this. I'm not
as tired because I'm not running. I am pursuing destiny,
but I'm not running from anything, and it helps. So
(22:57):
beautiful when you arrived there what abuse to fall place
to be, you walk in your like, oh here I
am perceive me? Yes, Okay, well my last question to
top us all off top me, honey, speaking of being inspirational,
you inspire me. Thank you. I want to know what
inspires you or like, oh, this makes me want to
(23:18):
grow and do all of this, Like what is the
stuff that's making you feel coming outside of yourself? Even
more Absolutely, I am a huge believer in the power
of manifesting, and I'm a huge believer in the power
of set unrealistic goals for yourself because I want to
be able to look back in thirty years from now
and be like, we were here and now we're here,
(23:39):
and that pushes me. The people around me pushed me,
and also like opening up more, doing more, doing the
very things that scare me has now become what I
love and even like right now I'm finally taking the
leap and I'm investing into getting into some music I'm
working on alone, and that's really exciting. It's really really exciting.
(24:00):
It's a passion that I've had for a long time,
been very kind of shy about and stepping into that.
I'm so excited to see what that world is going
to be like because it's unscharted territory. The sky is
literally the limit for you. And if you just tell
yourself this is where I'm headed and I'm going to
get there, and everybody just wait and see it absolutely
(24:21):
will happen. There is no doubt in my mind. Sisters
Sis just thriving. Honey. I'm so grateful for your time
and energy, and you're just so I I really have
enjoyed our time together. Thank you, Miss Betty, thank you,
thank you very much. All Right, that's it. I want
to thank Carry Colby again for joining me today at
(24:42):
least my absolute gorgeous, gorgeous girl. We love to see
a queen at work. I am so inspired and moved
by her authenticity and her ability to be herself and
share herself and sharing the parts of herself that were
really difficult things that she overcame and how she's become
this incredible, living, out loud person that I think should
inspire us. All. So, that's it for today's episode, But
(25:03):
join me again next week when we talk about being
an elite athlete while staying authentic won. The game is over,
and don't forget to join in on the conversation. Share
your thoughts with me on social or leave a rating
and review for the podcast wherever you're listening. Let me
know how you like the show, tell me what your
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about in the future. You can always find me on
(25:24):
Instagram and Twitter at Betty Who, and on TikTok and
YouTube at Betty Who Music. Until next Time Unfiltered. The
JBL podcast is produced by I Heart Radio and partnership
with j b L. Our show is hosted by me
Betty Who. Our executive producer is Molly Sosha. Ep of
post production is Matt Stillo. Editor is Sierra Spreen. This
episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser. Special thanks
(25:45):
to our friends at jb L Initiative and Donna
Hi everyone, and welcome back to Unfiltered, the JBL podcast
and I heart Radio production and partnership with jb L.
I am your host, Betty who. I am so excited
about today's guest in today's episode because something I have
been thinking a ton about recently is how you can
share and set an example for people without putting yourself
(00:22):
too much on blast. You know, how do you come
to reconcile the balance between giving yourself to the people
who follow you and see you and want to know
more about you, while still holding onto a little bit
of it for yourself. Balance is actually a very big
theme of our episode today. So I could not be
more excited to introduce the one and only ms Carry Colby.
(00:42):
Oh my gosh, you guys, seriously talented drag performer. As
you already know, she is as fine as she is fierce.
You may know her from season fourteen and Rupulse drag Race.
Oh my God. Carrie is also an open book, which
is one of my favorite pots about her. She has
used her platforms like drag Race to share her life
story and by others with her visibility, whether friends or
(01:02):
fans from the legendary House of Colby. Yes, Carrie is
a trans queen trail blazer and a lip sync legend
and now one of my new best friends. So let's
just get right into it, shall we. Carrie Colby, I
can't believe you're here with me today and we're doing
this together. We are metavers and connected, and I feel
(01:24):
like it's in our destiny to be connected often and
I like it. I'm here for it. I know. We
got to tell the people we would literally just together
a couple of days ago playing a show in Dallas,
just you know, holding it down for the people and
the heat, sweating it out for the South. Honey, that
is exactly what we really did. I remember seeing you
come off stage and you were like, please don't hug me.
I'm disgusting, and I was like, I feel you. I'm
(01:44):
about to be that way trenched. We call it the
splash zone on tour when we get really hot. If
you're in the first four rows, we're doing turns where
it's moving and just it'll come off of our bodies
and it will hit you in the splash zone. So
you're welcome. I've been so excited to I'm like, you know,
of course, now we're besties because we played a show together,
and we go with so far back now. But I
genuinely believe that you were the perfect person to be
(02:05):
here with us doing this together because you This entire
podcast is supposed to be about being authentic and trying
to find yourself and living out loud. If you will
let me show you my true colors, honey, please, So
I guess let's like start at the very beginning, which is,
how did you? I know this is the obvious question,
but how did you start doing drag? I want to
(02:27):
know sort of where we all began here? Oh my gosh,
it's a long, long journey. But I feel like any
feminine spirited individual that resides in good old Texas, specifically
the Dallas metro Plex, there shall be some cross dressing,
I understand, And I feel like that's kind of like,
(02:49):
in a really funny way, how everything started for me.
I feel like I always knew that there was a
very feminine energy and entity, and in my story and
my journey, I think my biggest story arc, or my
biggest antagonist, really was my trauma. Because I always felt
to do one thing, I always felt to be one way,
(03:09):
I always felt to explore something and I was never
allowed to. I was never encouraged to. In fact, I
was punished oftentimes for that. And so my journey into
drag and everything really started to take hold of itself
when I was a little under age. But we were
in Dallas around fifteen to eighteen, and I was finally
(03:31):
in a place where I was in my own zone.
I was thankfully living with a roommate who saved my
life literally, but I was not looking over my back, like,
am I gonna get beat by my parents for playing
with this Barbie doll? Am I gonna have to write
a whole Psalms nineteen fifty two verse? Because I wanted
to play with some girls hair and like see what
(03:51):
it feels like, because I like that ship. But I
started to like finally tiptoe out, and it took baby steps.
It took putting a beautiful acrylic piece of plastic hair
on my head for one time. It took, you know,
getting the most glamorous handmade gown from somewhere in Asia
at a BCBG boutique. Honey, hello, you know that was
(04:13):
my first dress ever. So there was a lot of
stages to that. But I think drag really started from
my mind, and it started from me stepping out and
experimenting and exploring with my feminine side and building on that. Now,
there was a lot to build because it was definitely
a little humorous at first. Well it's so special. I mean, like,
look at where you are now, especially coming from a
(04:35):
place where your ought, your drag has come from this
like place of repression, in place of I cannot be myself.
I'm so proud and happy and so glad that you
put yourself in a position to be able to succeed
and be yourself. And hello, Victory, it's me. Hello, We're here. Yes.
I love hearing, especially queer, trans people of color, all
(04:58):
the beautiful layers and spectrums of our rainbow. I love
hearing about those success stories of someone having a moment
where they find themselves at a very early age. But
I think the one very important part of my story
is especially coming from a person of colors perspective. Unfortunately,
my story is so common, and that is the problem.
(05:21):
I think that there's suppression in a lot of the
umbrella of people that come from a repressive background and
very religiously structured. You know, that's our story, and I
love that I'm able to give that story a little
extra layer of life. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
This is the generation now where we get to break
the cycle. Will you like paint me a picture? As
(05:41):
far as how it started, like you know, you said,
there's a little piece of a cruelic care here and
maybe a little lips, Like where do you learn to
do makeup? Are you a YouTube makeup queen? Like how
did you sort of grow starting from like the piece
of aquilic care that you were putting on to being
this like completely evolved, Like you know your look, you
know your shape, you know what you're thing. So we're
talking like fourteen. This was the era of like the
(06:04):
very like made up super tan, gaudy Barbie dolls. This
was very like Kim Kardashian's like glam Lashes era. This
was Lily Galici, this was Angel Brinks. Beyonce was popping
off with her fashions and stuff. So it was like
all the girls were entering their like glammy Barbie emulated era.
(06:26):
And I was obsessed with that because it was the
most feminine thing I had seen, and I wanted to
take inspiration from that to hopefully utilize that. I got
into working in makeup as soon as I turned eighteen.
So that was where I started kind of like, Okay,
I know I like being pretty. I know I like
being feminine or whatever. How can I learn to get
(06:47):
a better skill set around it? So I started doing
cosmetics as soon as I turned eighteen. I worked for clinique.
When I tell you, I had the most beat bitches
walking like you would have thought it was a Matt
counter with a co on, And I think that kind
of got me in trouble at the time, but you know,
I made it my own thing. I was like, we're
gonna make you fabulous. You were being authentically you, no
(07:08):
matter where you were going, authentically be in good old
Texas holding good town. So I went from there and
then I when I moved to l A and I
was like eighteen nineteen at that point, I never really
like lost focus of like I want to focus on
learning the aesthetic that I'm obsessed with. So I went
in from there and worked at tom Ford Beauty Charlotte
(07:31):
Silbury and just started shaping my artistry skill set more
and more and more cleaner cleaner, cleaner, and eventually the
campoint where I was like being the kind of girl,
I want to be uh, And we were still doing
drag at this point, Like the whole drag into transition
thing was a trauma lama in itself that came from
my brother passing and me being like I need to
get myself together because he's not here no more. That's
(07:53):
an extension of my family's gone and what what am I?
Where am I? What am I doing? But to that point,
I was like, I need more money to be able
to afford this fantasy, the these shoes, because at that
point it went from acrylic hare too. If it's not
human hair, don't touch me with it. Oh my gosh,
you know, no more shaking goes. No more, this ain't
no chicken shit shaker go hood if we don't got
(08:14):
tired for that. And that was when I kind of
went from working in a beauty counter and doing other
people's faces, like I still wanted to keep up with that.
My focus on the fantasy that I liked never ever changed,
And at that point I was like taking more reference
from YouTube and beauty influencers because that was like, I think,
what are we talking at that point, Like twenty seventeen eighteen,
(08:35):
it's beautiful to see that That's something that I remember
when I was because that's again I'm on the edge
between when that internet sensation to be who you are
broke out and like before that, especially come from the South,
it was like, no, we got some rules for you
because you need you need to follow these patterns to
be what you're supposed to be, and if you're not
what you're supposed to be, then now you're a problem.
So I'm so curious about how it feels for you now.
(08:57):
The show we just played in dollars together, like talk
about queer. It's like exclusively just like the gayest night ever.
It was a gays softball league. We played the after party.
It was like this big, fun queer night. When you
go back to Texas when you're there, do you feel
like this push and pull between like, oh my god,
I had so much trauma here, but also look at
how beautiful this queer community is, Like, what's your experience
going home now off to having kind of this entire
(09:20):
life experience you've had where you really do get to
be yourself when you've come to terms with who you are.
You explained it perfectly, you know, like you hit it
right on the spot about that there's there is a
lot of trauma, so it's almost like I'm on the
verge of a panic attack everywhere I go because it's
a familiar street. I remember what happened. And even some
of my trauma came from my queer community because you know,
(09:41):
going back a few years ago, there was a lot
less evolving. People were projecting and they were masking, especially
about trans people. I feel like that has been a
really new space. Work of the queer community has had
to be like, we have to make room for the
trans community here, because like that's the whole point exactly.
And education is key. I've like a lot of times,
especially in southern queer communities, people love to learn about themselves,
(10:05):
you know, like I don't want to put nobody on
the spot, but like the white twinks, like whatever, they
would learn specifically things that applied to being a twink
and being Caucasian, and that was their ministry. That was
their struggle, and that was their thing. Everyone's the main
character in their own life. They were all yeah. And
I think that that's something that really has changed in
Texas since I was there, where I think there's been
(10:26):
enough people coming in from other places it has reshaped
it a little bit. The people do seem to be
in a much better headspace. What's the balance for you
between like living by example and having sort of it's
definitely a bud and to Bolt, I'm always trying to
find my balance for that. So I wonder how you
feel about where you sort of stuck up and what's
the right chemistry for you to feel like you're doing
(10:48):
something really important while also like being an entertainer, that's
like making people have fun. The way I look at
it is number one me like the product or the
visual people see. This was built over time. There was
a lot to me, it was the braun Um, but
(11:09):
it was built. You know. This was my way of
fixing my insecurities. But before that, there was a lot
of trauma that made me insecure and I had to
learn how to work out of that and in my
life personally. My story is not just like I said,
It's not just like I thought. It snapped it I wanted,
I got it success amazing. It was a lot of
things that were a little hard, and also beyond that,
(11:30):
things that were completely out of my control. When I
think about that, I really try hard not to allow
an ego to really take over a little egos. Fine,
you gotta have a sense of self. But I think
for me, I'm always coming from a place of humility
and humbleness, because this wasn't something that was just like
I want to do this and I'm gonna do it. Period.
(11:53):
It was so many things that came to me sometimes
outside of me that I'm like, Okay, I'm part of
something bigger, and that's where my focus always is. And
I always think about the young met balance is something
we're going to chase to the day that we stop breathing.
You know, I'm a Libra. I'm always my whole life
is about trying to figure out the balance. She's all
about balanced. Well, so speaking of that and kind of
(12:14):
like also out of just curiosity for me, where do
you find especially you've gone through so much in your
gender expression right finding out what makes you feel the
most to you. So in all of that, you've gone
through this whole journey from like drag was sort of
the first, like this exciting place that made you feel
like really safe, and then this is you know, shaped
and grown and now you've transitioned and you are you know,
(12:36):
I don't want to put words in your mouth, but
living happily in this new kind of like world and
body and self and here you are and you've arrived.
Inside of you, is there still this sort of divine
feminine divine masculine? Like? Is there a balance still inside
of you that feels or are you like, honey, she
is a feminine or you are there's still things that
you like hold onto from your masculine self, like, I'm
(12:59):
really curious about that. To me, my transition really only
happened in me being one hundred percent authentic, honest and
real with myself. And there are girls out there that
like they ran from their previous gender. They couldn't do it.
It was it was trauma, never never, never never. They
gotta be woman, woman, woman. There's no balance for me personally.
(13:22):
I've never rejected or turned a blind eye to my
previous self. I had just had a whole thing on
Twitter where I addressed my old self as my dead
twin brother, because it literally was like my other half
that got severed and dearly beloved, deally departed. I don't
identify with that anymore. But that doesn't mean that I'm
going to erase everything I learned because I didn't transition
(13:45):
until the pandemic. The pandemic really got us in in
us right. I was battling doing that, but I was afraid.
I was terrified of people's opinions. I was terrified of
what people might say. I was terrified of that awkward,
ugly stay age. But when the lockdown happened, I could
not stand being around myself without exploring. And part of
(14:09):
the exploration was defining my masculine and where that is,
and defining my feminine where that isn't where I want
both to be well and also like you know, giving
yourself the grace. Yeah. More on Unfiltered the JBL podcast
after a quick break, and now back to the show. Okay,
(14:42):
I have to ask you, like just I feel like
this is the question that I feel like everyone's gonna
want to know, So we have to jump here jump
hunting Iconically, you wore j Lo's Green Milan Fashion Week dress,
vetach on RuPaul's drag race Coutore girls. Any what does
that moment even feel I can't even like that's it
(15:03):
feels like there's so much. It's like RuPaul, You're on RuPaul,
so you're like whoa, And then it's like you're in
the j Loo dress and you're like whoa, and it's
just like there's a lot of layers of woe there.
So I just want to check in on how you
felt about it. And then you had to lip sync
in it, so you're like whoa, whoa, because that dress
be going places. You know what I mean? That dress
is made to move, but it's not meant to do
no super Bowl halftime before. I'll tell you that. It
(15:26):
was a bucket list item to even be affiliated with Jay.
Look like I said, I'm a Leo, She's a Leo.
I've always really appreciated her. I ride for j Loo
so hot, it was amazing, And I happened to have
a very close friend, um my house brother, Mr August.
Shout out to Agust Getty, Honey, oh my god, I
love August. Okay, this is a connection for us. I
didn't okay, I didn't realize I'm obsessed with August. Yeah,
(15:48):
I love love love Okay, great, we're here. He's everything everything.
So the dress was actually his, and when we got
that list, I was aware that he recently had acquired
that dress, so I was like, like, I know that's
his baby, but like do you think isn't anyway I
could potucially wear it. The show's already like, oh my god,
I'm here. This is something I've watched as a kid.
Helped me out a lot when I was dealing with
(16:09):
my crazy moments in my early ages in Dallas, and
it's all coming together and it really made me feel
so I think that was one of the first times,
which is kind of sad, but it's just honest and reality.
That was one of the first time that I looked
at myself and I had not only felt beautiful, but
I felt proud, like I achieved a dream. I'm living
(16:32):
a dream out loud, and this is everything. I definitely
thought that I was gonna win um that challenge and
then I got told nope, it's tound to lip sync.
And then imagine it was just panic, but almost like
exhilarating because I'm like, if there's one thing people gonna
pay attention to with this, and it opened doors for
literally to be here. I heart Radio. I opened for
(16:53):
j Lo herself because Icon Awards this year, did you
get to meet her? Meet her? Say hi to her.
We had a moment because she actually came in early.
Leo's one thing you're going to get them on. No
matter how successfully are, if it comes to iconography about
their life, they're about it. They are committed. So she flew.
She literally had flown in a little early for dress
rehearsals to make sure and we had so much representation
(17:15):
in the queer culture that was embodying her, her eras
and all that. So she was there like on them
like I turned this way. I didn't spend this way.
I love you. If you're gonna snap, snap with this hand, honey,
snap with one finger left like she wanted to see
herself so specific. I love that. And when it came
to her and I, I guess it's a good thing.
(17:37):
She didn't say much because she had no notes, which
is good. I'm honored. But like to me, I was like,
can you make an you give me one? And she
literally like no, no notes, Like okay, just do you
honestly put that on your tumbstone? No notes? Jennifer long
Jlo told me she had no notes, Like yes, that's iconic. Okay,
(17:58):
So speaking of lips, saying, what a crazy moment, do
you have a song that is your like this is
kind of like I feel like the drag equivalent of like,
what's your go to karaoke song? What's your like lip
sync for your life? I'm gonna I'm gonna funk everybody
up right now with this lip sync song. It depends
on my energy. I have so many different inspirations, but like,
if you want me to go to somewhere, I don't
(18:19):
even know where I'm going, give me Whitney understandable. Are
you like an up tempo Whitney or you like an
end night kind of Whitney. I'm a little bit of
all of it. You can give me Queen of the
Night because I love that reminds me of my upbringing.
You can also hit me I have nothing and just
leave it on the floor. Whitney's voice speaks to my
soul in that powerful way, so I completely understand. And
(18:42):
just remembering her story, it's just like I know, oh,
she lives on in us. So did you have a
moment where you were like, I have to be more honest.
Have you always just been super comfortable sharing yourself? How
has it changed your relationship to performance? Does it make
you feel more invested in it because you're like these
people know me now. I just want to know about
like your relationship to sort of sharing in that way
(19:03):
and how it has changed you completely completely. Well, I
always felt like I had nothing to really hold onto
for myself because like every time I would try to
find something, it was taken from me, or I'll be punished,
or it just would end up collapsing. But I think
one thing that's happened is I used to do it
out of like a coping mechanism. I used to do
(19:25):
it to like, Okay, I'm just gonna tell you everything
so you can't like come back and like judge me,
because like if you know everything now, then you're not
really going to be able to like say I didn't
know that about you you later. And now I'm at
a point where it's like, no, I've lived. I feel
a lot more comfortable now with people. I don't feel anxiety,
like everyone's staring at me, waiting for me to mess
(19:45):
up or waiting for me to do something wrong so
that they can laugh at me. I feel like now
it's like they can laugh all they want. At the
end of the day, my head, my heart, my spirit
was in a space of giving and sharing and the
people who received it out So I'm there for and
it's it is scary, that's that's scary territory. But it's
like you always have to bring yourself back to that,
(20:06):
like we only do this once. Even though in our
life it feels like we live so fast, we live
so many lives at one time, it feels like there's
a sense of rehearsal, there's a sense of preparedness that
it takes us out of that space. But you gotta remember,
we do this one time, you know, we do this
one time consciously in this moment, in this space, being
exactly who we are at this moment. Always just give
(20:28):
it your best because you never know, but you always
should just give everything you got because you want to
look back and be proud, you know. Absolutely. Okay, So
how long does your full face take for a show?
Like what's your pre show timing? Do you want just
face or like head to toe outfit, hair, everything? I
want the like head to toe show getting ready, and
(20:48):
then what's your like our pre show? How are we
like walking on the stage? For me, I make everybody
dance to music and then we all take a tequila shot,
Like what's your version of that? Okay, yes, te qui
la shot. I'm very much a tequila shot type person
to it gets them nerves down. I don't like to
be brushed, so I will literally wake up earlier to
enjoy the process and take a little longer for me
head to toe getting ready. It depends on how complex
(21:10):
it is. But like for example, today, I think this
took like two and a half hours, three hours, which
is about my normal. And then if it's like a
big event, we add a little more to it if
there's more moving. Part five, Yeah, I love a good
five hour moment. People don't realize how committed you have
to be and how much energy it takes to just
(21:31):
get ready before you're even starting the thing that you're
supposed to go do, Like especially for a gorgeous woman
like you, who is doing You're going this is ought,
this is I'm serving something here. My body is my temple,
it's my expression. I'll be honest. There's times just when
getting done, I'd be exhausted, like am I really about
to go do more? Like WHOA? Just getting into this
(21:52):
is like I'm ready for bed now? Great? Right, Like okay,
I got ready. I feel like I did set the
time to go to bed, But I feel like another
part that helps me deal with that sometimes is that
you know, I'm a lot more comfortable. And I used
to run away from who I was every day natural
because my my everyday person is a Lease and my
stage ensemble is Carry, Right. I used to run from
(22:15):
who Elase was so I could go be Carry because
Carry felt like a superhero to me, and that was
exhausting to put on and be like, no nobody can
touch Carry. Absolutely. But I think in making this a
more everyday moment right where where this is our life,
I've had to be a lot more comfortable. So I'm
not running and getting ready like, oh my god, I
(22:36):
have to fix everything. I hate what I got. I
don't like this. I gotta hurry up and be my
superhero version of myself. I'm not anything. The more that
I've relaxed and like I'm me regardless, the more that
I'm like, Okay, I could get through this. I'm not
as tired because I'm not running. I am pursuing destiny,
but I'm not running from anything, and it helps. So
(22:57):
beautiful when you arrived there what abuse to fall place
to be, you walk in your like, oh here I
am perceive me? Yes, Okay, well my last question to
top us all off top me, honey, speaking of being inspirational,
you inspire me. Thank you. I want to know what
inspires you or like, oh, this makes me want to
(23:18):
grow and do all of this, Like what is the
stuff that's making you feel coming outside of yourself? Even
more Absolutely, I am a huge believer in the power
of manifesting, and I'm a huge believer in the power
of set unrealistic goals for yourself because I want to
be able to look back in thirty years from now
and be like, we were here and now we're here,
(23:39):
and that pushes me. The people around me pushed me,
and also like opening up more, doing more, doing the
very things that scare me has now become what I
love and even like right now I'm finally taking the
leap and I'm investing into getting into some music I'm
working on alone, and that's really exciting. It's really really exciting.
(24:00):
It's a passion that I've had for a long time,
been very kind of shy about and stepping into that.
I'm so excited to see what that world is going
to be like because it's unscharted territory. The sky is
literally the limit for you. And if you just tell
yourself this is where I'm headed and I'm going to
get there, and everybody just wait and see it absolutely
(24:21):
will happen. There is no doubt in my mind. Sisters
Sis just thriving. Honey. I'm so grateful for your time
and energy, and you're just so I I really have
enjoyed our time together. Thank you, Miss Betty, thank you,
thank you very much. All Right, that's it. I want
to thank Carry Colby again for joining me today at
(24:42):
least my absolute gorgeous, gorgeous girl. We love to see
a queen at work. I am so inspired and moved
by her authenticity and her ability to be herself and
share herself and sharing the parts of herself that were
really difficult things that she overcame and how she's become
this incredible, living, out loud person that I think should
inspire us. All. So, that's it for today's episode, But
(25:03):
join me again next week when we talk about being
an elite athlete while staying authentic won. The game is over,
and don't forget to join in on the conversation. Share
your thoughts with me on social or leave a rating
and review for the podcast wherever you're listening. Let me
know how you like the show, tell me what your
favorite moments have been and what you want to talk
about in the future. You can always find me on
(25:24):
Instagram and Twitter at Betty Who, and on TikTok and
YouTube at Betty Who Music. Until next Time Unfiltered. The
JBL podcast is produced by I Heart Radio and partnership
with j b L. Our show is hosted by me
Betty Who. Our executive producer is Molly Sosha. Ep of
post production is Matt Stillo. Editor is Sierra Spreen. This
episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser. Special thanks
(25:45):
to our friends at jb L Initiative and Donna
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