Episode 11 | "You Get A Light : An Interview With Roy Wood Jr"

@THEKIDMERO

@ROYWOODJR

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, everybody. It is me Kevin and Leopoldo and from
the Dominican Republic. I'm here today because Roy Wood Jr.
Is a very famous comedian and he said to me
in a TikTok message that God is amazing. And I
always say Dios, God is amazing, and everything is amazing,

(00:24):
Life is amazing. Love each other. But today we're going
down to Nicki West. Is not in the West Coast,
is in burning burning big beer Berman, Birmingham, Alabama. Okay,
I'm gonna go in because unlike my counterpower Keighley, nobody

(00:46):
know who I am. I only have three follower on TikTok.
So I'm gonna go into this restaurant and go to
Nicky West. Here we go. Oh hello, sir, I am
a Keving Leopoldo. I here because a very famous and
social media.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
The meat, which meat you want?

Speaker 1 (01:07):
When you say when carden, you mean meat that we
have fish?

Speaker 2 (01:11):
We have pot roads today and catfish?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay? And can I have a little bit of each one?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Todays you get one meat, you get three sides. Which
one you want?

Speaker 1 (01:22):
So what I can what I can't? Yeah, keep it moving,
keep it moving? Which one you want?

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Now, and so what I say is, do you have
a rice and being you get the rights down there
on the sides right now, I'm meat. All I handle
is meat? Which meat you want?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
The? Can I having the catfish? But also can I
have the the the the the How you say particuls
in English? Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Pot roads pay fee that one of that? Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
With the caffish.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
One meat, you get one meat, but we pay you.
You get one meat.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
No, but we pay you for two for two meet
that's two.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
That's two with two sides. We don't do it too
and two meat you don't do it. Two meeting three,
you get a meeting three and then you get another
meeting three. So you got to get six sides. Two
meet six sides.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
But I don't I don't want to so much side
because where you're from and I'm from Dominican Mexico. Okay, well, no,
Mexico is far away. Mexico is fight away from Dominican.
I Dominican because it's our EYELD.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Get callos from the back, come up here and talk
to this.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Mexican I don't understand. And Mexican span is different, is
the very different then than than mine?

Speaker 2 (02:36):
And listen to me. Okay, listen to me, and you
named sir. My name Carl, okay, Carl, you know me,
no dose meat, you know me. Trace sides.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
So I would take the I would take.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
The cop I just got out.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
I ain't got time, okay, I understand. I would take
the coffish rise.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Okay, don't talk to me about the sides. Talk to
them down there all I handle.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Me, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
So I would take you there, give me the coffish, earl,
get you the side, thank you, to go down the
fucking things.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
I don't want to do me. This guy said, not
a arrow, Carrol, Arrol. Fuck your problem? He no, no, no,
and it listens, puppy, listen, everything cool, everything cool. Let
me tell you something, man, I got fucking me when
I want me and if I want through me, I
get through me. And he said no. So then I

(03:31):
come in here to you to fix it. Okay, I
call okay, not do me a fav.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Look behind you and see that long ass line you
do you.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
See that that's for people waiting on you. Okay, So
what your side? I'll tell you. I would take the
rice and the mac and cheese.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
Rice maca cheese now you got another side choice. You
can get the yams. We got green beans?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh you got more drum? Can I have the more
and drum? We don't have moland? What the is the molan?
Why are you pointing with this? What this point doing? Literary? Like? Y'all?

(04:18):
What's up you cows? Is victory episode of leven. You
know what I'm saying. We hear live New York City.
It's not live because you know has sign is editing
this ship. You know what I mean, to take out
all the problematic things I say. But this is a
very special episode. Be you know what I mean, because
it's into my episode. Men is in the building, Signs
in the building, Victims in Italy right now doing Italian things,
the impostive Drigen Wine, very special guests in the building.

(04:40):
Huge fan of this guy, man for a long time.
You know what I mean, from stand up to the
TV stuff. Man, I've always your ship because you're just
you. You know what I mean? You know what I mean.
This is roy Wood June. Ladies and gentlemen. You what
I'm saying. Get about holy the moment.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
How much longer do you think drink champs can last
in terms of their liver, great interviews, great contra menders,
and they get guests who come on and give ship
that they wouldn't give to any other. Maybe the only
sway could get deeper with people.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
But I'll be watching that and I'm like, God, damn bro,
y'all going hard liquor bro. One of it is just
like I've never seen his brain the looking before. It's
just like, you know, high level ship. It's like drinking
re labeled Cisco Man.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Get that ship. Ten years, that ship gonna be juice.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Champs kill today. You know, I'm saying these noods turn
the balloon. Do turn?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
You know what I'm saying, war shout out, shout out
to get a shout out on the episode.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
He's really a drinking bro because like I see no
real la x and Nor really is such an ill dude.
This is like you, It's like a it's like a
personality type I guess of dudes who when you see
them it could like we could have crossed past like
twice or three times, but every time you see him,
it's like, Yo, what's good baby, And it's just like
a it feels like I'm walking on the block. I

(06:21):
saw it.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I saw a live episode. This is gonna sound wild,
but it'll make sense. I was out drinking with Tom Joiner,
the legendary, legendary sated fly jack radio host Tom Joyner.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
We're in Miami.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Tim's got a place in Miami and that's one of
my radio ogs from when I was doing mornings in Birmingham.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
And Tom, you ain't from Alabama too.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
He just goes, hey, Kevin Hard is supposed to be
doing some shit with that Norri Yana.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Good boy, let's.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Go watch it. And I'm like, I don't know what
this is. And of course I know about drink chaps
pup and it's a live fucking taping of drinks. And
I'm sitting there for two hours with Tom Jordan watching
Kevin Hart pre roll. Yeah for sure drinking duce. I
don't know if he was smoking. Then I want to

(07:14):
tell all his retirement business. So afterwards, Nori come up
and he's, you know, Annoying's one of the people. He
may not know you, but he know you yes, And
he took a long look at me, go oh, yeah,
you was to do Jay Prince was gonna fuck up
how you been you see?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yo, No will introduce you as the Wildly ship. Yo.
Just woman know he took a sho himself up the
total ninety eight. You know what I'm saying. I'm like, oh,
that's not my cleaving thing.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
I have a twenty six year career and it's just no.
He was to do Jay Prince was gonna fucking for
Houston one time. Yes, that is that's also not on
my resume.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, Nigga went to the askers and went all the
way to the bottom. J fuck him up. Bro, it's
so but he's such an ill dude. Seeing him at
l e X bumped into him. He's he's like, your baby,
baby man, high energy. I said, Bro, I'm on a xanax.
I just got off a plane of six half hours.
My eyeball wasn't even working right, bro, Like, I look

(08:09):
like a get go and ship. But he's just like, oh,
you gotta have a drink, baby, got we got drink.
We celebrate baby. You know what I'm saying. We out
here for the culture, for the culture. I was like, no,
we were here for two separate reasons. We just happen
to be on the same plane. Bro, Like drink, go
to the airport bar. And he's like and his story.
So I'm like, yo, and I'm watching from my drink

(08:31):
shames experience. I'm thinking he's gonna or me at a
triple shop. Do say you're on the rocks. Let me
get a reaslingling the way reasling, I was like, said, yo,
hold on, we drinking. The cert word was blue label,
Johnny Walker.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
I mean, to be fair, you're drinking across from my
Auntie Ann's pretzels.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Was you know what I'm saying, Melissa's cupcakes, tiny peanut,
but a cupcake my reastling. You know? Ude?

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, man, but I appreciate you for having me. Man,
congratulations on this, man, and thank you for letting me
do the introduction.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Hey, yo, that was fam Listen, I've had a hard
time man, Pussy Washington. Yo. It was because that's how
Victor discovered me, right, Like was the victory like blog?
You know what I mean? That's why I'm like the
victory like podcast is like a return to form to that,
you know what I'm saying, Because it was just Yo,
this is digital. There's no corny studio exect being like,

(09:32):
well here's some new too. You think if you should
do beautiful Really, I'm like Bro, I don't give a
fuck about all that because you don't know what the fuck.
You're not a comedian, man, you don't do this, you
know what I'm saying. So it's like, what the fuck
do you know? So the best thing about this is
that you get to do whatever the fuck you want.
And when I was doing the blog, I wasn't doing
it with any aspirations at all. I didn't even know
what the blog was. And like the dudes on my block,

(09:53):
you know, there's always like one like the computer nigga.
You know what I'm saying that he knows my computers and
the incident shit, and like yo, he's yo, yo, can
you burn me d CD? Yeah? Yeah, yo yo, this
this new clue tape came out, could you burnish it
for me? So he's like, yo, I'm gonna start lifestyle
blog and I was like, fuck is that? He's like yo,
But Yo, listen man, He's like, just write funny shit, bro,

(10:13):
because when were smoking the ship, were hanging out, you
always got something popping off in your head, you know
what I'm saying. Like, you just come out with and
everybody's like dying laughing. I'm just like, I bet so
started doing that, but the problem was my group of
friends is apathetic weedheads, you know what I'm saying. So
after like two posts, they threw in the towel. But
I'm still I'm at work, and I'm going to work

(10:35):
an hour early, you know what I mean. Charge to
JUNI High school was ever seeing I'm there, saying before
I got a clock here and I got an hour.
So I don't know how it was, you know what
I mean, for you growing up pre you know, entertainment.
But for me, I was angry all the time cause
I used to see shit and it was like, Yo,
this ship is not attainable to me, yo, you know
what I'm saying, Like there's no way I could get this.

(10:55):
So I was constantly in like this weird like state
of like anger, you know what I'm saying, Like yo,
like fuck this shit man, Like I could barely pay
my rent, you know what I'm saying, Like I can.
I just want some weed brought, Like I don't even
got enough money to get weed. I used to go
on Twitter and be like, yo, pay pal me money
for weed, somebody, if you love me, please, you know, motherfuckers,
pay fifty dollars.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
It's wild when you say that, because it's like growing
up in Alabama, like Birmingham is like all black, Like
Birmingham proper is eighty per seventy five eighty percent black people, right,
so all you see is blackness, and then you got
a lot of positive old black You can do it,
young brother, how I don't know, motherfucker, but you can

(11:35):
do it. Just not in Birmingham, but figure it out.
Go to college, Like it's always just get out of here,
go to college. We always thought niggas, like y'all in
New York, if you was choosing a thug, get out,
like that was a choice, Like you didn't understand the
systemicness of oppression and racism and operating within a white
system because Birmingham was black. So I saw black people
doing I you had black people that had a front yard.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
A lawn, not a front yard a lawn. Yo.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
I knew niggas would lawns. I knew niggas with the
old cutlass in the front yard with a dog living
under it too. So I saw achievement. Yeah, so you
could feel like it was there. But then because I
was like the goals always man, get to New York
because everything shiny in New York. You're not even thinking
about parking, juice and all of that. Like that's just

(12:24):
that's an anomaly. But if you get to New York, bro,
then I got to I got to college, I got
to fan you, and I met niggas from Miami who
had never seen the ocean, like just on like the
way your life can keep you trapped in your situation
and on your block. I'm like, the ocean is, nigga,
it's twenty minutes. You can spell it, and then you

(12:45):
could hear and it's niggas in Brooklyn who've never been.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
To Manhattan for yo decade and a half. Like when
I got the job advice, they were like, yo, you
got to self report. I was like, what the fuck
does that mean? You know what I mean? That means, nigga,
you got to bring yourself to work your drive. We're
not sending you an uber, you know what I'm saying.
You got to bring yourself like it's a regular job.
I was like, oh, yeah, okay, So I'm driving my
O five Honda Clord tank cloth interior, done it up

(13:10):
like a fucking the last tune of Can on the shelf.
Just mad as fuck driving to Brooklyn as a Bronx dude,
Like to your point, it's like, Fam, I've been to
Brooklyn like five times in my life. You know what
I'm saying. And I'm like thirty years old at this time.
You know what I'm saying. So I'm just like, bro
New York is so fragmented, you know what I'm saying,
Like you go, you know, the Internet kind of like

(13:31):
melded it a little bit more than it's just New York.
But back in nowadays, you know what I'm saying, because
we've been at a certain age, Like it was, Fam,
you're from the Bronx, You're from Queens, You're from Brooklyn.
And my man, George Foster dropped the George Foster, Big Foster.
He said some shit like what's the biggest example you've
seen of like achievement? He said, some shit like a
house with upstairs. I caught you a this shit and

(13:52):
I was just like, nigga, a house, you know what
I mean? Like I was like when I was growing
up my grandmother Yo, So like everybody landed and watched
Times and then my family moved to the Bronx and
then like my two of my uncles moved to Jersey,
you know what I'm saying. Then my uncle that lived
in Jersey had a house, so we would go visit
them on Sundays and I'd be like, oh shit, Like
Nigga's got this grass. Like we used to get out

(14:14):
the car and be like I touched the grass, Like, Yo,
this is crazy. They got grass. Yo. You don't gotta
walk to the park like they got a loan. They
gotta driveway. Yo. They could pump the car in their crib.
This is crazy. Like so just that, you know what
I mean? Like that disconnect cause I want to ask
you too about Alabama because like I have never been.
I'm trying to go out there and explore America because

(14:35):
it's like there's so much shit that I ain't seen,
you know what I mean. Because I've been a dr
one hundred thousand times.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
You would be the Dominican Bordame if you just travel.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
That's the pitch.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Where your sleeveless bubble vest, which is the official I'm
not from the South. In August, you might be in
North Carolina, Nigga.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Like that was like fun, takee shout out a loaf,
by the way, Y'll kill it, bro.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
That that whole. The assessment of the East Coast is
so fucking real because at FAM, you like, you gotta understand,
like Birmingham was just regular black people, just regular Black Americans.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
We are all descendants.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Of doctor King, Like everybody there is related to doctor King,
you know John exactly. Then I got to college, and
in college, that's when I met my first Caribbean. Like
the idea of black people from other places other than
just the South and slavery did not happen till college.

(15:43):
I did not meet a Jamaican until I was eighteen.
I met my first Puerto Rican in college. I thought
I met one of the seventh grade. Turnout he was Guatemala.
You didn't know what the nigga was. Start talking different,

(16:04):
Like to us, New York was anything DC and north,
like the East Coast was New York, and then you
think it's New York to you meet a nigga from
d C. And then you meet your nigga from Philly
and they go, no, let me clarify for the differences,
and this is the nomenclature and regards.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
And we do this. Yeah, yeah, FAM. And it's so
elderly because the way you describe Alabama as like, Yo,
there's nothing but.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Black folks around Birminghamham didn't say Alabama.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
New York like al we hate about Birmingham is Alabama.
Atlanta is Georgia.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like you Bamaham's nigga.
Wait a minute, motherfucker. For Birmingham is a lot of cultures.
We tried to raise minimum wage fifteen dollars, but the
white folks at Montgomery maybe ten yo. So Birmingham is
just like super progressive blue city surrounded but much like
Atlanta's around by red state. But I mean, you know,

(17:02):
a lot of tech, a lot of banking. Huntsville is
jumping too because of the Space program. But I'm not
going to oversell it on the night life and entertainment side,
which I think is kind of how people also assess
a city. But you know, bro, I love Birmingham the
way you love the Bronx. I know, sooner or later

(17:22):
that's where I'm going to be back. I go home,
like motherfuckers asked me all the time. I haven't done
a show in Birmingham in ten years, and they come
to do the show here, probably never probably the last
show I ever do because the first show I ever
did was in Birmingham. I'm home so much on the

(17:46):
charity side of the game, I can't get people to
pay money to come see me at home. I don't
even want to do that. And if I did, it
be for some charity raise money for the baseball field thing.
So you know, I love the crib. Alabama is much
smarter than people give it credit for because all of

(18:06):
the crazy shit come from a smaller count Like right now,
as we're taping this, there's a police officer that tas
the black man while he was handcuffed. She's gonna leave
and they go see Alabama. That town is five miles
from the Mississippi border. Put that one on Mississippi's cap.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
You know what I'm saying that, I feel like, how
are you doing an NBA show with the point differential?
I'm like, you gotta do like a distance. Yeah, I'm saying, like,
how close were you to the border of this? You
gotta claim that.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Let he who's police department has not tased a brother?

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Like, come on, man, y'all know what cops do. Man,
Like cops are cops. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
But I mean it's a it's a it's a smart
and progressive place. There's a lot of people trying to
make ship pop down there. The issue is you have
a lot of pushback at the state level, and then
you just don't necessarily have like Alabama's running places where
only people from Alabama can truly help Alabama. It starts

(19:09):
with us, and a lot of those people leave and
never come back and never do anything. They never do
anything to pour back. It's dark knight rises Batman climbing
about the cave that's leaving Alabama. But Batman threw the
rope back down in the movie Alabama. A lot of

(19:30):
people don't throw the rope back down in the cave
so everybody else can get about the fucking prison. So
that's what I'm trying to do as much as I
can without over extending myself because I still got to
raise a city kid. I'm not gonna take my sign
from New York. It's too late for him. I'm raising
a city kid.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
You know.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
The first time he saw grass when he was like three,
like three or four, like where he was like properly
walking and could walk barefoot, wouldn't walk on grass Barefe's
like what the it's just.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Gonna stab me.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, because you're from New York. You don't fuck with barefoot.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Na barefoot, you crazy mom. I'm not coming out of
my apartment barefoot. I'm not saying if somebody drop a package,
I'm putting on tims to walk two inches outside my
door because I know somebody that threw up. There's a
needle out there, there's a condo, something as crazy happened.
Even if you fucking yo, I don't. I don't never
want to see a black light of any apartment I
ever lived in in my life. You know what I'm saying.

(20:28):
She's my house and my mama in the suburbs of Birmingham.
She got a lawn. You know what automatic sprinklers, yo, Royd.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
So I dabble back home as much as I can, man, And.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
That's a ship too, Like you are one of those
people who was born in New York, lived in New
York as a child, dipped as a child, and it
was essentially raised somewhere else, you know what I mean. Like,
and I'm like, yo, the people that come that do
that become icons because I'm like, yo, I can only
think of three people that did that Michael Jordan Tupac

(21:05):
and Roy Wood Jr. You know what I'm saying, So
you and you know what I mean. You on that
mount rushmore of motherfuckers. I came to New York and
was like, now you know what I'm gonna go over here.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
It was more on my mama going, Nigga, you tripping.
Let me take my son man getting down to Memphis
for a quick minute. And then my daddy got to
Birmingham and he called it bang, You're right.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
I was tripping. Cool, Come on back to Birmingham. On
to Birmingham where they come back. Yeah, I used to work
back in the day. Don't work no more, No not Yo.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
It's Roy Wood Jr. And you're listening to Victory Light.
We'll be right back. What happened to big in R
and B. Somebody was talking about that shout out to Nama.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Baby baby baby, like please please motherfuckers, niggas, they please,
don't one. I got another hole. I'm coming to drop
some dick overrom that mouth, Like what the fuck? Well,
you're not even singing that ship, you're just saying it.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
How many marriages do you think Usher has ruined his
Vegas residency.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Oh oh man, And I'm.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Not talking like Keiki Palmer drama. I'm talking about just
base level. He did a hundred shows. That means there's
a hundred lap dances every show. Us should dance up
on somebody.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
So let me say something as a Dominican dude who's
well versed in the bachata, you know what I'm saying.
Genre Romeo Santos has been doing that shit for decades.
Like he'll like, you will be sitting with your lady
at the show and like us just dancing on him
and whatever Romeo he did, like he'll break the show
like yo, intermission, Like yo, I just did my biggest

(22:36):
bang of joint. Stop down curtains, curtains, draw the open. Yeah,
there's a big ass shocks crib sized bed on the
middle of the stage. He goes in the crowd. He
picks a random You'll be sitting there with an engagement
ring holding her hand. We just got married. Come on, shorty,
come in whooping up on stage. I'll fight you. Jumps
on this. They get into bed. He throws the covers

(22:57):
over both of them. They rolled around under the here.
Then he's just like he gives a kiss or whatever
and then goes so nasty. Then he launches into a
song and he's just sitting there like, why the happening? Now?
What the you think is gonna happen on that car
ride home? Bro? Like you know what I'm saying, Like,
that's no car ride home. Hit a car ride? Would

(23:17):
you do that? Won't you go backstage? That's what the
fucker yo.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
I've I've watched a lot of this Usher footage on
Twitter from just random people. I follow a lot of
just random people, and every clip Usher is just uncomfortably
close to what was a happy couple. You don't go
to an Usher show and sit up front if your
relationship is on the road. No, that's an expensive ticket.

(23:43):
That's an expensive ticket. That is a we are solid
as a couple purchase. And then you're sitting up front
and then Usher come up and just stress tests your
whole fucking relationship. Fuck marriage counseling. You want to know
if you got a good relationship to Usher show?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Go to the Usher show and wear some fash wears,
somesom Shine Fashion, Nova ship, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
He's dancing on janail money. But as far as we
know Janell Moe single.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
Listen and this is a ship Like I'm the tape
of dude. I'm very fertile. I can't do shit like this.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
I should sweating and ship. You come on down the
leather jacket like that's.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
He got the vancing on the vancing was like that
I'm getting pussy in the nineties on New York jacket.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
And the thing is that because men are so perverted,
we don't have a woman that can bring us on
stage the way usher you know what I mean. Janet
Jackson is the last person that brought men on stage
and did some usher ship. And even then Janet was
strapped the niggas down. You got on stage for Janet

(24:46):
to dance for you, they strap you to that chair
like a David Copperfield trick, like.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Like oh ship and bro listen and she would did
on you. But it was like, Yo, you're in the
ship club, yo, because you can't do you can't do nothing.
You feel that shoulder a big man. Yeah, no touch.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
There's no woman, No woman artist should reasonably bring any
man on today.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Come on, because most of these are just too naturally horny,
you know what I'm saying, Like like it's bro if
you listen, if you engage in some type of sexual
act on stage, like my dick, don't know whether we
kidding or not. You know what I'm saying. That's just
gonna pop up, y'all. What's up now? I'm on I'm
on Twitter, Yoda Yo, Joanna, pull mirror on stage. You
gotta dick all hard. He looking like he's looking nervous. Ass.

(25:40):
You know what I mean? You get froed.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
I respect that ship, but I just I just think
it's unfortunate that he used his music to create so
many beautiful black moments over the decades, and now he's
tearing them all down this card.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
He's like he wants to let it burn for everybody else.
Now like I did that ship already, did that ship
fall in love? Now you're gonna break everybody else. That's
what Vegas is for. That's what that's like. Listen, it's
the It's Vegas. It's the Vegas. He'sa liked. Yo. I'm
gonna go take my career to Vegas because you know
what happens in Vegas. Yes, states in Vegas. So I'm
here to all your relationships.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
You saw what he said then along bro ne Along
tweeted because Usher took a break for the holidays for
the show, and ne A Long tweeted, my only regret
this year is that I didn't get to see the
Usher Show. Usher quote tweeted, I'm back everywhere at seventeen.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Three days after get them tickets for your ball. You're
gonna be taking different flights, so we're gonna see.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
We're gonna see a clip of ne Along getting serenaded
and shoulder shimmy into sexual.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Oblivion by sweaty ass Usher, and.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Then the Houston Rockets gonna go on a ten game
losing streak. Email Doka is gonna be what place? He's like,
Bob doublet I'm telling when Neil Long goes now, I'm
not really a bet man, but you know, if we

(27:12):
want to get into sports gambling, let's do it. I
love it when Neil Long goes to see the Usher Show.
Bet against the Houston Rockets for the next week, for.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
The next month, because men a week mentally sometimes man,
I feel like like like when you got a good woman,
bro and she's just like, yo, fuck you, I'm done
with you. Fucks you up? Yes for a minute, not
just a week. That should have fun. You fuck you,
wake up you and you be in a happy relationship
later and wake up in the middle night be like.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Damn, did you see her happy with somebody else?

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Like you know what I mean. I just listen, I
see my her house burned down, and I was just like,
damn supposed to last was like damn. I was like, damn,
hate to see it. What's the I got a guess
room speaking of.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
That house ship and like the richest thing you've seen,
I will say the richest thing I saw growing up
was I got a ride home from school from elementary
school in a limousine. One of my classmates, his dad
owned the funeral home or whatever. Knowing what I know now,

(28:26):
the nigga that picked us up after a funeral, Yeah,
it was the way. It was, flowers casket in the bed.
And I remember getting in this limousine and there was
this is like nineteen eighty five. It was a fucking
microwave in the limousine. We didn't at the time, we
didn't have a microwave at the house.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Strap and this one in the car.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'm like, what the fuck kind of money shit your family?

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Guess? Did you know the president? Like you tell you.
I mean, like, that's an age. You think the president
is the richest little in the rotate ship?

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Like, now that I'm older, all I can think is,
who the fuck is heating up snacks on the way
to a funeral?

Speaker 1 (29:09):
What are you cooking? What are you cooking?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
What is that purpose of this amenity?

Speaker 1 (29:15):
We like to go see a fucking a corpse full
of PCP jews and this ship. Bro Come on, man,
you talk about y'all, let's pull over at seven, leve
against some hard boiled eggs to heat up before we
go see Nana. That's crazy. That ship's wild.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
I just what I've learned about wealth over the years, though,
is that there's always another level. Yet you haven't attained,
like I'm not, Like, how do you fucking shout out
to the homie Tommy John Agan, who I did last
comic standard. Tommy said some ship, he said. The burden

(29:53):
we have as successful comedians, a successful entertainers is that
you can't teach your kids poverty. Yo, how do you
teach gratefulness because you can't simulate it. I can't drop
him off in the hood, Like we take our summer
trips to Atlanta and you hang with Rougher cousins.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
But that's just two weeks. That ain't enough, right. That's
such a crazy thing to me, because I got four kids, bro,
and like they're young, you know what I'm saying. My
oldest is about to be thirteen, and he's the one
that had the longest tenure in the Bronx, you know
what I mean. So he walked up and down the
ab with me. We went to the bodega. We saw
you know, we saw like you know, people that are
down back, you know, foundation right, So he has an idea,

(30:39):
so you know what I mean. Meanwhile, my ten year
old is the one that like reps the Bronx the most,
but got the least amount of like tangible shit to pull,
you know what I'm saying. And like he'll come out
and be like, now, funck that I ain't from here,
Da da da da dah. And I'm like, fam, you
lived in Jersey for five years, you know what I'm saying,
your tent half your life, you know what I'm saying.

(30:59):
So like that, like and that's the shit teaching them gratefulness.
So what I did was I sent them this what
they did to me when I was a kid, my
pops and my mom's and I don't know if this
was to teach me to be grateful or if it
was just like, yo, we want to fuck around the
crib because we live in a two bedroom apartment and
we can't fuck with all three of y'all in the house.
They were sent us to dr like to live, you

(31:19):
know what I'm saying, for the whole summer and the school.
Pack your bag. You're not coming back till the day
before school. You out there the whole shonger shit fucking
selling avocados, riding a donkey down to the waters for real,
Like yo, go ahead. So I did that with my kids.
I was like, let's see how this works out. But
I'm like, you know, it's a little bit different. They
got Wi Fi and shit down there, and my parents

(31:40):
got you know what I mean. But my ten year
old was like, motherfucker, I'm bringing my PlayStation. He brings
the shit with him, and it's just like he's at home,
except he's not, you know what I mean, And like,
I don't know where you But like with me, my
parents they not the same as they was with me
with my kids, you know what I mean, Like it's
they grandparents, so they way softer. They're not like, hey,
get the fuck off that shit, because my pops will

(32:01):
be like hey, get there. My pops was a very
serious dude, like Yo, no, come here, stop that, don't
smile and flicks like this man's wedding. He looked like
he was on trial. You know what I'm saying. You
know what I mean. So I said him over there,
thinking they're going to get that type of like discipline
and like, you know, fam like you're not gonna get
all the shit that you get here in New Jersey,

(32:23):
you know what I mean, Brant County and Franklin Lakes.
You know what I'm saying. Because this I told him
all the time. I'm like, Yo, this is candy laand
be you know what I mean. When I grew up.
When I was growing up, like the field was not nice.
We played baseball in a dusty ass saying lot y'all
got everything's perfect as terf everything's beautiful. So when I
said him out there, my oldest son actually kind of

(32:43):
gleaned something from that. He came back and he called me.
He was just like Yo, Dad, He's like Yo, it's crazy.
He's like Yo. The wifiut here is fucking trash bro
And I was like, hey, mother fuck is this one
tower in the whole town? You know what I mean.
So he came back and he had like an appreciation.
My ten year old came back. He's like, yo, cut.
He was calling me by the time like it was elapsing,
the time is over. Yeah, for the trip that he
was just like hit me every day, like yo, bring

(33:04):
me back, come get me, come get me, come get me.
Coming to how much? How much long? How much? He
was And I was just like, fam, I say, you
there to understand that where you're at now, you're in
a very privileged position, like you know what I'm saying,
Like you you you live in a life that a
lot of motherfuckers ain't living. I didn't live this life
growing up, you know what I mean, not even close
to it. But you know it's it's that is challenging

(33:24):
as fuck. Man.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
My son is peeping it a little more now when
we're on the train, because the train is the proper
slice of all levels of New Yorker at one time,
and so we'll talk about people you know on the
way back up. Yeah, that person they were probably dealing
with something. There's people like that that's dealing with stuff.
There's people that when we walked to school, Uh, there's

(33:46):
a couple of homeless cats that's always in front of
the dunk and I go by and I speak to
him every day, and he's like, why is he out
here everyday when he's asking for money? He doesn't have money,
he doesn't like so he's finally starting to figure that out.
I have not decided yet the idea of chores for money.
He does chores, he helps around the house, and you

(34:07):
get rewards like a little screen timing, Like won't do
video games and all that shit.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yet Oh he's.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Seven, so yet he can get it from his friends.
I know he's gonna figure out a way, but in
the house for now, I'm trying to keep him focused
a little longer because once that beast is unleashed, it's over.
So I'm trying to get as muchological foundation as I
can and work ethic and all that other shit first
before he be a little dope fiend.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yo, I'm telling you from the other side, bro, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
So like, trying to figure out those that value system
is is hard because there's nothing I can deny him,
And then I also got the fear that, all right,
if I don't give you this, what are you gonna
do behind my back? Right to go and get it?
So I need you to be coming to me when

(34:54):
you need shit. So if I'm not gonna give you
money and give you a way to earn, I gotta
provide or explain to you why you don't need that
particular thing.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
And this is and this is the this is crazy
because it goes right into the next question I was
about to ask you. It's like my kids never knew, well,
my oldest there, but like for the most part, my
kids is like daddy, his job is TV. Daddy's on TV.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
That's why my son, that's all you know is that
you work in TV.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
Daddy works in TV. So therefore Daddy is rich. Daddy
got unlimited money.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
So his so like there's like my son knows I
do stand up too. He understands the concept of I
stand on stage and I make people laugh because it
makes me happy and I make them happy. I get
a little bit of money for it. But his classmates
might see me in like some random finking I don't know,

(35:53):
Burger King commercial. We saw your dad last name now
Burget King. So they come to school going your dad's cool,
so it's kind of hyping him up, and I'm like, no, man, Like,
if I'm on the street and people ask you to
take a picture, I keep it very calm and cool.
I take the picture, but do but as we're walking
away from that person a famous, temporary respect is what

(36:15):
you want. That person talked to him and spoken because
they respect me. You should be wanting to earn people's respect.
Don't chase fame. Fame is not real what your friends
are saying to you at school about me. You can
be on TV, you can be off TV. But what
you want is when you're in the real world, it's
to be like.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
And so.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
That's gonna that's the found that's gonna take years to lay,
but that's the that's the foundation. I'm laying with him
now about fame and what I do and the perception
of it, so that he doesn't perceive me the way
his friends might because that's gonna change.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
And then also I may say something crazy, right, you
know what I'm saying, And that's the shit too. It's like, Yo,
I'm I do comedy for a living, bro. This is
what I do. This is my job, this is my my craft,
my passion, whatever the fuck you want to call it.
I might say, so wat ship, you know what I'm saying,
in the pursuit of like trying to find a funny
way into a topic or whatever, you know what I mean.
And now you're going to school and it's like you

(37:14):
don't want to you know what I mean? Like you,
I don't want to find that mean thing. Daddy said,
this is my tailor swift, and now the defence is
calling you know what I'm saying. So it's just like, yo,
hold on, I don't want it. I don't want everybody
to know. You know what I mean what daddy does.
Daddy's an entertainment.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
That's what just put it, put it in context for
him so he doesn't get a big hit and think that,
you know, like DNZL. Washington told his kids were not rich.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
I'm rich. I used it all the time. I use
that ship all the top. I give you my sh
but that's not your ship, that's mine. You leasing it
for me.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
See you know what it was for me? Man, We
triggered it for me somewhere in middle school. I don't
know ten or eleventh grade. Like my parents like as
the marriage started kind of coming out, as the wheels
came off their marriage. My pops would just do the
bare basics, lunch money, groceries might pay. The light bill

(38:13):
might not this month, so he might be you know,
cross town with another you know, with a with another situation,
so the lights might be off one night. Okay, well
I don't like the lights being off. I don't like
the heat being off.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Fuck it.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
What can I do to make a little bit of money?
I'm twelve child label laws? All right, fuck it?

Speaker 1 (38:33):
Let me.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Let me walk around the neighborhood and rink leaves. So
I would go door to door, ten for the front, fifteen,
front and back. If you said no, well you said
your yard looked good, I would take a bag of
leaves from another yard. I would rate and sprinkle them
in your yard that night. I would create a situation.

(38:55):
I would create the man, I don't know what that
is an economics class?

Speaker 1 (39:00):
What I mean?

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yeah, I would come. I would you tell me no,
say bet, and then whichever house told me yes, I
take those leaves and put them in your yard and
do it at night so you don't fucking you know,
what I'm saying, you don't know what I'm doing, and
then I would come back a week later. So yeah,

(39:25):
but like a lot of leaves. So I just started creating.
Like once you want the shoes, once kids want clothes
or video games, that's when it's time to create the
value of money. I want things other than what you
were contractually legally supposed to provide as a panent. And

(39:47):
that's when I pounce on my son, because that's what
happened to me. I wanted Nintendo tapes. I wanted the
Junior Air missions my pops. My pops died when I
was sixteen, so I started working behind him. Broke like
the switch that flipped. There used to be this white boy,
white man and be respectful. I want the Aryan.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Nation out there.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Yeah, what's your what's your demographic? White nationalists?

Speaker 1 (40:19):
It's front. We go to the Republican superparc tomorrow. Open
the debase. Actually I was opening.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
So we were a newspaper fan because my pops was
a journalist. My pops did you know civil rights journalism?
So we watched sixty minutes CBS Sunday mornings. We read
the paper every day.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
So shot your pops with that though, because I feel
like a lot of people don't do that with their kids.
Great literacy. It's and literacy bro from working in education
to my kids. Now seeing that ship, I'm just like,
God damn. Like my mom when I used to get
in trouble, my mom will wooped my ass. But then
she also take out this big ass funking Wagono's dictionary

(41:02):
and be like, yo, write a do a. Every word
that's inn a, You're gonna write it, define it, write
the definition, give me a sentence. Because she was a
teacher team so it was like corporal punishment. But like
I like, so now I'm doing my blocking seven and
I'm using words like defenistrate and motherfuckers are like, bro,
you sell trade bags a weed? How do you know
this word? But also I can do that. But also

(41:24):
I have a vast vocabulary, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Like we would read the paper, there used to be
this column in the paper next to Dear Abbey. It
was called Dear Percy, And there was this millionaire, a
billionaire philanthropist named Percy Ross who in the nineties had
a newspaper column where he would give money to strangers.
It was essentially gofund me. In the nineties, you were write.
You would write Percy long stop story about your life,

(41:49):
and they would print that in the paper. And then
his reply, I can see you're going through some shit,
and I'm going to send you five thousand dollars right
now for me to you. And it's just a white
dude just giving away his money in the newspaper. So
it would be dear Abby Mismanners, and then it would
be Percy Ross. And so I read that shit every

(42:10):
day for Years's just this fucking white dude just giving
away money. So then one day I just I fucking
wrote him. I was like eleven, twelve, and I fucking
wrote Percy Ross a letter and I'm explaining all of
the issues and the hood and when I'm dealing with
at my dad's health and my mom and fucking this,

(42:30):
and I'd be sleeping and be cold in the house
and I wrote them and I never got a reply,
and I remember the fucking anger I feel, and it's
like and you give it a month, and then it's
six months, and then it's a year. And at this
point I'm like thirteen and like and it was the
first time a switch flipped in my head that nobody's

(42:51):
going to save you, no one's going to give you shit. Yep,
you've got to go and get it. And it's one
of the last times I ever asked anybody for anything,
and the sting of not being heard like that shit,
I just never forgot that shit, which is in a way,

(43:13):
that moment is what led to me getting arrested when
I was nineteen anyway, because part of why I was
doing credit card fraud was because I didn't want to
bother my mom.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Thank you, yo. It's so crazy, like that's such a
common thing because you got.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
Your mom for money, and you see the micro like
you learn my expression, you go, oh, she ain't got it. Yeah,
And then I was there was nights well, bro, I
can tell you about nights where I was sleep and
my mom thought I was asleep, and I could hear
her on the phone calling people asking them for fucking money, bro,
And I could hear the hurt in her voice when
she was calling these people, hours of calls, just call

(43:50):
after call after call, and I just I could not
bring myself to bother my mom anymore. So I did
as much as I could legit subway and go, I
broke every child labor laws can names from fourteen to
eighteen like I and.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Then I don't even believe it child labels because like
I said, I was.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Six years old, bro like I could, I could take
you back. Like in high school, I was working thirty
hours a week and had to see the act. The
only reason I got in college because I knew it.
My mom is a eductor. So my mom had all
the Kaplan books and the act books and the so
I knew how to take a standardized test. That's what

(44:36):
got me in college. I did not have a good
GPA coming out of high school. But I didn't have
a good GPA because my pops got and we was
trying to keep the fucking house. Yo, So I have
to fucking work thirty hours, so we're going to get
evicted in the minute. What you think that's gonna do
to my GPA? So I get to college. That's when
I started doing dirt because I'm like, now I gotta
have the clothes, I gotta have the video game. I'm

(44:56):
trying to fuck Joyce. Yes, you can't get I need chaps,
I need.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Jeans, I need you know what I mean? Like I
need r l C. No, no, no, not that that
chap ship not polo. You go to marshals, get the chaps,
irregular polo. You know what I'm saying, Like just say
irregular under the collar and ship. But you got like
you need that nigga broke my heart?

Speaker 2 (45:19):
What time he said chaps stand for could have had
a polo shirt?

Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yo, yo, fam, It's so crazy because like I can't
relate to so much of this ship man, because my
mom was also educated, also had access to all them
test ticket books. I used to grind them ships show
up to school high as fuck, like you know what
I mean, just not really being in every year in
the year book. You're looking at Jorge Martine, what class clown,
class clan, class clan, class clown. And it wasn't. It

(45:53):
wasn't like disrespectful class clown. It was like, Yo, I'm
done with my work, you know what I'm saying, Like,
now I got thirty minutes to just sit here in
space and do nothing, you know what I'm saying. So
I'm gonna crack a joke because that's what I do
at home. You know what I mean? I should have
get you in trouble, But like at the same time.
The standardized test is the only reason I moved on

(46:14):
to high educator. I ended up dropping out, but like
you know, and that was that was again my pops
going back to that, Yo, we gotta provide da da
da da. My pops is like, yo, I gotta provide
my kids is being provided for right now. I set
my wife up. She came over here, she got her degree,
she's working as an educator, she's making money. I'm setting
us up now to retire. So now he's leaving. I'm fifteen.

(46:36):
He's out of the house, and I'm the man at
the house because he used to tell me that shit
when he would leave. He's like, Yo, I'm gonna be
gone for six months. Bro, you're the man at the house.
You know what I'm saying. And like I took that shit,
you know what I mean, like real seriously, because I
was just like, they take care of your mother, take
care of your sister, all right, Bro? What do I do?
And this is where another thing that I could relate

(46:56):
to you on is boosting. I started boosting like crazy,
Like I would go to Connecticut, Jersey with me and
my little crew whatever. We would hit New York. So
hard that the reason that spray paint is locked up
in New York is because the nigga's like me. You
know what I'm saying, Like, the reason why north Face
jacket has that middle wire attached to it at Nama
Marcus is cause niggas like me. Because I would just

(47:19):
go in there and put on three five hundred dollars
north face jackets and just walk out that bitch. I
had like a girl, a homegirl that worked at ARII,
and I was like, Yo, give me that fucking little
magnetic ship. You know what I'm saying, That fucking it
gets to Yeah, take the integs off boo boom. So
I'm doing those. I'm selling those, and I tell them,
motherfuckers it was noble, and then like, how the fuck
is stealing shit? I was like, listen to me. I

(47:40):
would go we used to call it boost and Powders.
We would go out ot to like big Walmart, big
box stores, Walmart, Target, whatever, and do them dirty and
just wipe out all the similar that they had, then
come back to the hood and sell it to the
bodega under whatever they was paying. Well, yo, pop, what

(48:00):
you're paying for for similar? All right? I'm gonna sulling
to you for less than that. So I'm like, all right,
So now we got we got the similik Is in
the hood, we got the iron joint, we got all
the flavors like you chick, got you gotta me me baby,
I got you. We got the vice, soul, pride, whatever,
the man selons. I would go up there and boost

(48:20):
fucking head ship and products and what. Bring them back
to the lady who got a hair salon in her apartment.
Five b your wholesale boom, y'all got the trunk full
of the ship downstairs. Y'll come, I'll give it you
all this ship one hundred dollars. I used to work
at a fucking at A. I even say, wait, but
it's a beauty supply, same ship. I used to call
all the little mom and pop like yo, I got
I'm doing hair out of my crib, Yo, yo, come through,

(48:41):
Yo d D. They will push a card out of
there and I would just charge them nothing. You know
what I'm saying. I was scanning some bullshit and just
let the bounce, so you know, like that, and then
my mom's just looking at me like, yo, you got
Jordan's I didn't buy you those Jordans. You know what
I'm saying. So like now I'm starting to feel like

(49:01):
you know what I'm saying, like ah man, like I
like part of me, like the the whole thing is
like you're you're You're up here for me, You're on
a pedestal, You're my mother. You know what I'm saying.
So I gotta respect you and I got to buy
for you. And if you find out that I'm doing
what I'm doing, I'm gonna lose your respect. And to me,
that's almost worse than us being broke. You know what
I'm saying, because like yo, if I go to jail,

(49:23):
you're gonna be ashamed of me. You know what I'm saying.
All right, bro, first time I got the rest of
my mom was unfunk front. You always up me, supported
Kim Maryll and you are listening to Victory like you coward.
Stay right there.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
I'm gonna cried and that ship crush destroyed BB. It
was nothing. It's two times my mom cried over over me.
I made an F in geography. I think it was
sixth grade.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
I got so.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
I was in a gifted program. I was in the hood,
but I was in the gifted program part the school,
so you eat lunch GM pop pe GM pop, But
the rest of the day you're in your own.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Little little bubble.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
They ain't really treat me that different because it's still
a black school. It was Central Park Center Street Middle School.
Sixth grade. I get bussed out. I'm on a ninety
minute bus every morning, so I'm up at six thirty,
so I'm getting shorter on my sleep to go all
the way out to a white school for the same
whatever whatever, like Chris Rock type of shit. Didn't like

(50:30):
the school, didn't vibe with the teacher. I keep making
s And my mom had tried everything, she had sent
me to tutors and programs, and just I brought her
my report card, she just cried. She just cried because
I couldn't learn. I just couldn't. I just everything, tried everything.
Seventh grade, I was back in the hood and like
and grades went back up, like it just whatever it was.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
And then when I got.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Arrested, because I got arrested twice essentially for the same
all with the same shit. We had credit cards. I
can get you back for he that in a second.
We had a credit card. We go and we go
to Dyllotz. We had a girl that was working there
or whatever who knew that the car was hot, but
she was going to improve the purchase because it was
the first time I had I was a I was

(51:15):
a mail sorter at the campus post office. Back in
those days, Back in the good old days in the nineties,
credit cards came hot. In the envelope. There was no
eight hundred number. Don't call and verify your fun you
don't signing and go I'm the reason there's a sticker
on the front of your fucking credit card.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Speak yes in India about this credit put in the
last full of some ship that I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
So, back in those days, credit cards was hot, ready
to swipe out the fucking envelope. And so it was
two ways to do it. You could do it at
the store and it was prompt the cashier to ask
for your ID. Well, if you know the cashier, you
circument that the cash hits the button. Yeah, he showed me,
I d you can need to do that. You can
activate the car and pay at the pump. This is

(52:05):
also the early days of pay at the pump, so
pay at the pump could essentially be the first swipe
because the cashier, I EI the gas pump cannot ask
me for I D so certain cars you can do it,
pay at the pump. Other cars you have to do it.
So we go, we buy, we buy all the ship.
And the way we got caught is that she undercharged
us for the birch because she was trying to leave

(52:28):
more space on the car. And after the fact car.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
Just come back again.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
I'm thinking, this is out of here. You washed chaps
two times. It's done am aggressive ass dawn room washing, the.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
Ship industrial dishwashes.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
So that bro so, so we we get we get
caught for that, like they you know, knowing what I
know now, of course it looked suspicious to and also
I had I had had some casts with me. I
ain niggas is pastors. They're good men now all the time.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
I'm like, yeah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
I was in the store with a bunch of other
good men. Too many people to be buying nine hundred
dollars worth of Tommy Girl, because also she worked in
Tommy Girl. What we would do was buy the ship
and then take it to another store for the store credit.
And that's when I would do the proper shopping for
whatever shopping list I have for people on campus, because
my thing was tell me what you want, I'll bring

(53:35):
it to you. I just sell it to your half price.
So on the footage or whatever, like they're watching us
by all the shit. Whatever system they had in place
at Diller's security in real time can see what she
is scanning and what it is scanning for back then. Yeah,

(53:56):
so they could see that she was underscanned or skip
scanning some of the ship too. So if it's three
things she scanned one, put one in the bag, scan
the next one, put the next one in. You know
what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, So they called her on that,
and they called her on changing the prices. She was

(54:17):
going in and doing manual overrides on the prices. So
that's what flagged it.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
And so.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Once they flagged that, they flagged the card the IDs
don't match. Come to jail please then yeah, immediately, Then
they do the deeper investigation into Okay, well we have
these people on these charges. Now, how did that card
that doesn't match Roy's name get in Roy's hand? Well,

(54:44):
who out of everybody involved works in the post office
where this card was addressed Roy? Come on, get this
fed man. We need you to come back to jail
one more time because we need we forgot the Yeah,
we thought it was just some regular bullshit, but now
we need to And that's the.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
One that broke my mama.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Because it's fed five years fast. Don't lose, You're going
to prison. I end up getting probation. Somehow, I end
up not getting expelled from college. Somehow I got suspended,
but I didn't get expelled, And like, that's like where
I you know, I talk about, like, how fam you
that ecosystem? My pops was a professor and my mom's

(55:29):
a grad. They had the ecosystem in place. They had
the people in place that could see you for who what.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
You could be.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
My issue is that a lot of white schools, I
think they see you for who you are or what
society has taught them you should be perceived as, whereas
if you're dealing with the right group of black folks,
I see you fucked up. But I got a cousin.
I know somebody fucked up like you. He driving space shuttles. Now,

(55:58):
So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write a
letter for you to the FEDS and tell them not
to send you to prison, and then like that's the
type of support that I got when I should have
been like straight up just thrown away. And I wish
I wish they could show, like, our court system is
so fucked up because they just show the like the

(56:22):
way the legal process is shown on television, it's goofy
court show and the niggas a arguing over a PlayStation
controller and you know.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
When he sold a.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Yeah, yeah, an, I'm here because he broke my lawn
mower and I man like, it's it's that goofy ship.
If you can just go and just watch arraignments, I said,
like there should be a live camera feed of just arraignments,
of just watching people who've just been arrested have their

(56:58):
charges formally read to them and the look of horror
in the faces of these people who know they've thrown
their lives. But it's literally watching a parade of people
yo in real time realize I'm fucked. And if you
show that aspect of real, real courtrooms, it would help

(57:19):
put some of that shit in perspective. Like they talk
about scare it straight and sending kids to prison, don't
send them to prison. Send them to arraignments because the
nigga's still in the clothes they got arrested in.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
I was about to say, I was like, that's when
this shit is like it flips when you're in prison.
Scared straight to prison is like we already here. You
know what I'm saying. They need to see the moment
where your life changes.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
It's literally the day your life changes broke and if
you just witnessed that. And I was sitting there waiting
for my turn to go stand up in front, and
I'm like, fuck, I dodne blew it, bro I didnet
blew it, And like that's when like like, oh, this
is why my mama was crying when I was on
the pay phone talk to this ship really is over.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
There was a dude.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
I got arrested the night before Thanksgiving for the second
so I spent I spent a whole weekend to this day.
That's why Thanksgiving is the most important holiday to me,
because that's the day everything switched. I didn't stand up
a month later.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
I'm just thinking about like the judges and ship. I
was like, damn nigga using there for like seven days
that because there ain't nobody working over that you did.
It's a little skid man. It's Tallassic Lyon County.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
I had my own sale forty eight sal pod, only
four pods open at the time because they don't want
y'all fighting, So I'm not gonna act like I did
a hard time. It was there was a basketball court.
I got arrested, thankfully, in all black sneakers, and they
let you keep black sneakers at that time, Tallassic so
I could hoop, so that was comfortable.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Little brod Peanut butter Jelly.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
There was there was a kid they got arrested the
same day as me, and he was trying to get
bail so he could go and take his final exams
to graduate finals within next week. Dog's and the judge

(59:18):
shit that gavel and told that nigga no.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Bail, romanded nigga fuck out of here fail and.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
The howls from that man as they drug him out
that courtroom. That's what a thirteen year old needs to see.
You don't need to see people who are in the
belly of the beast. You need to see people as
they enter the.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Mouth before before they change bro. Because I tell motherfuckers
all the time, I'm like I got a lot of
friends that did bids. You know what I'm saying. And
it's like, Bro, you come home, that's you a jail nigga.
Now you know what I'm saying. Like that shit never
goes away, Bro, that shit because Yo, that shit mutates you,
my nigga, Like you get back home and like like
my man, Danny be like shot to Danny. He did,

(59:59):
he did twelve joint, came home solid. Dude didn't open
his mouth, blah blah blah. You know what I'm saying,
comes home now he's a nigga at the party. That's like, Yo,
whoever could do the most push ups? I give him
a cigarette. I'm like, bro, we're not trying to do that.
You're trying to We're trying to DJ Sign saying this.
He got just Rihanna that we just bro and have

(01:00:20):
some drinks and ship. Nigga. He's not a he's not
a push up contest. Motherfucker coming out. I can't sit
with my door with my back to the door. I'm like,
your nigga, you're in my house. You know what I'm saying.
I can't turn that ship.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
I got lucky, Bro, I got lucky and should have
went to prison and got probation.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
I say that ship all the time, bro. I was like, God,
I would all the hours of fucking community service out
there at Marcus Garvey Park and this one and that one,
seeing dude shoot up and and and dudes fucking and
five in the morning and motherfucker shooting up and shipping
in the bushes. I'll do all that ship all over
again to save myself a fucking month on Rikers Islandy,
you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't want to

(01:00:59):
do none.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
Of all, right, Like when I tell you that made
me so straight and narrow and probation, you know what
is what's c murdercery? Probation for ten years don't mean
you free.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
It changed how I moved around people, and that stuck
with me. So I can only imagine what jail does
to somebody, because probation, if you are taking it seriously,
makes you super paranoid about everything. To this day, I'm
I don't fucking ride with people I don't know we

(01:01:36):
getting pulled over. I know there's a gun and I'm
just going Because there was a period for three years
where if I'm in the room with the wrong thing,
I go to prison. I don't even know you, and
mind you, this is the beginning of my stand up career.
So every night you're with another headliner that you know,
got weed, got a gun. I was old, Yeah, paid

(01:02:00):
in cocaine one time. Like just these are just wild
situ when you're doing shows for dope boys and shit,
so you just don't know who's doing what. So I'm like,
all right, I got to get myself to the venue.
I got to get myself home. That's where that ha
it started from. I never fucked with weed because if
I and I also, I had a probation officer that
was solid. I actually had a probation officer that cared
about you not going back to present. So I didn't

(01:02:24):
want to let him down. So let me let me
keep my piss clean. So I ain't smoked, ain't done
none of that. I fuck with shrooms now. Yeah, But
like I joke and I say, I missed the weed window,
because the window where you're supposed to get on the
weed train and discover it and try all the different strains,
and now you can because like if you if you

(01:02:46):
smoke dirt weed in the nineties, this is your fucking
this is your Jordan era NBA crazy era.

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
Now this is this is like Lebron playing at forty
and you're like, how is he doing it? Like I
hit that wed and I'm like, how is this doing this?

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
It's a baseball in the juice area. It's maguire So
era weed. But you appreciate that because you smoke the
dirt like I feel like I'm not. I'm almost disingenuous
getting on the train. I'm like, I'll just be over
here with my liquor and mushroom. Y'all just enjoy that.
That's for y'all. But that's because I missed the weed window.
Like behaviorally, I am. If I walk into a room,

(01:03:23):
I'm scanning the room for felonies. Oh what are the
ways to go to jail in this situation? If I'm
in the house, I don't yo. Like if I let's
say I'm over at your house at that same party,
push ups for cigarettes and two niggas start jawjacking and
getting a little yelly.

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
I'm gone.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
I'm not even telling you by I'm gone because this
is going to turn into something and the police is
going to detain everybody, and you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
See it and that's the thing. I think. That's it.
That's it, that's it, that's it I want to transition
into because you're saying that that's around the time that
you're starting to stand up.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
But it's like, oh, two weeks after, like they drugged
that nigga out there hollering and I said, where the
fuck is open mics?

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
So that's what Spark was like, yo, I gotta do
something right. So okay, because for me it was it
was similar, but like you knows, it started different. It
was different. It was like digital blah blah blah, but
like it was the same thing. It was like, fam,
I don't really want to do this that I'm doing now,
Like it's it's it's a very noble thing being educated.

(01:04:27):
My mom did it, my uncles, you know what I'm saying.
But I was just like, I don't know if I'm
cut out for this shit, you know what I mean.
And then it's like you start doing something else and
it doesn't seem like a real job, and I don't, like,
I feel like you have a supportive mom. My mom
is a supportive mom, but she's very pragmatic, you know
what I'm saying. And she was just like Nigga, this
is not real work. Oh yeah, she said that about
a comedy too. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
But that's part of why I stayed in college was
I wanted to be Stuart Scott. And so the way
it happened for me, I was still doing journalism, I
started doing stand up and then I get back in college,
I guess suspend it for something, because you can't steal
from the campus post office and remain a student. Go

(01:05:08):
sit down for a little while more, you got your
shit together, come on back, take your classes. So I'm
doing all my journalism shit. But I really wanted to
do stand up. But at the time in Birmingham, this
was the rise of Ricky Smiley, and so Ricky Smiley
was very important to like my arc as well, because

(01:05:32):
Ricky was the first comedian from Birmingham to quote make it.
It's really the first entertainer, black entertainer of the modern
era to be on cable and be known and put Birmingham.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
On the map.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
So it was like, fuck he doing it and he
from the Creer, Well, I can do it, and he's
on the radio, and radio made you a star back
in those days. So let me stay with this journalism degree.
So then I go back to Birmingham. I can fucking
work in radio and do stand up. And sure enough,
as I got the degree, Ricky left Birmingham to go

(01:06:08):
to Dallas to start to eventually be the syndicated shit
he got now and I slid it right in as
an intern. And that started twelve years in morning radio
for me while doing stand up. And it's wild because I,
as a convicted felon on probation still at that time,
was able to do literally the two jobs that don't

(01:06:29):
give a fuck about your past.

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
So the idea of needing a check a box and
hold your head down in shame and go please hi,
and so I'm a good when I ain't gonna steal
new credit card, I didn't have to go through none
of that shit. So that's and I understand now that's
why my mom wanted me to have the degree, because
the degree is what gave me the protection from having

(01:06:55):
to check. Yeah, I checked the box, but also look
at check the stats.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
So it helped. It helped immensely. But my mom bro
when I started to stand up, she wasn't with that shit.
We didn't talk for a.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
Year. We spoke once a month to confirm the other's existence.
Then it gets back to my mom that I'm doing
open mics and that I'm sleeping in bus stations like
when I would come to Birmingham or Mike got sleep
at the bus station because I didn't want her to
know and I didn't really have no it's you two

(01:07:28):
years out of college. You can't really couch surf at
twenty like you just you ain't got the infrastructure. I
don't have the partners. It's easy to sleep at the
bus station, to just go back to Tallahassee. It got
back to my mom. So I was sleeping a bus station.
She bought me a car, she put down on afford focus.
I had to catch the pavements. But my mom, even

(01:07:49):
in me doing something that she did not approve and
did not understand, she still supporting me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
That's still supporting me, Bro, like that film telling you man.
Because I got kicked out of my house. When I
first got arrested, my mom was like, you got to go.
You gotta get out of here because if your father's
coming back in a couple of months, and if he
finds out about this ship, he's gonna kill you because
my past was like that. My past was like Denzel
and Fences, like book Eli with a long ass duster jacket,

(01:08:19):
like swinging his so on around machete.

Speaker 2 (01:08:21):
I'm going to whoop your ass. My only regret is
that I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Twice, you know what I'm saying. So, like I leave
the crib and like I'm trying to find a place
to go, like you know what I mean. I'm I'm
fucking shortage just to stay at the house, you know
what I mean. And I finally my cousin a room
clears up in his crib. I go stay with him,
and my mom finds out. So she pulls up one
day and he's like, yo, come downstairs. I come downstairs,

(01:08:49):
and she got a Costco membership and she's like you motherfucker.
She's like, I know you broke. I know you eating
ship here, milk, eggs, bread and supply supply, care package supply.
I'm like this skirt, skit it off, like you bitch
ass motherfucker, Like yo, get your life together, you know
what I'm saying, Like you know what I'm saying, but
just like supporting you. But like listen, let me see

(01:09:10):
what is gonna go you a man, So I'm gonna
let you walk your path, but I'm still your mom
and then away.

Speaker 2 (01:09:16):
In a way, my mom created more responsibility, which created
more focused because now the car gave me more reach
to do more shows. But I gotta come up with
three twenty a month. That's a bar roy, I gotta
focus because I gotta focus. I gotta come up with
three hundred and twenty dollars for this car. Not so

(01:09:37):
I gotta fucking shit, gotta shape now so I can't
fuck off anymore. So it really did help.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
But she was like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
That that car and my first laptop are the two
most important things to ever happen to my career. Like
those two things like if you're talking, just change the
game for me, and like really, all right, now I
can fucking do some ship. Like if you're a producer,

(01:10:08):
you get that first NPC or.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Some ship and now you can fucking makes.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
The car gave me reach. The laptop gave me all
of the fucking ability that now I can review tape,
I learned how to edit, taught myself web design like
all of that ship, like fucking around in Adobe dream Weaver.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
Yo, the Microsoft front page. WHOA, So.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
That gave me and and that's and that goes back
to like that probation officer where like there was like this,
so State of Florida, and I don't know, I can't
speak for everywhere, but State of Florida for their federal
for their Federal Probation Division. You can travel for work

(01:10:55):
if it can be verified, improving, it's extinguating, extinguating this
sliding scale. But generally you can only travel for birth
or funeral, alive or dead. That's for the most parking
travel work if it's extenuating and you can prove it.
So I'm trying to get travel permits to go to

(01:11:16):
these various states to do open mics and shit, and
he said, well, can you prove it? And I'm like, no,
it's a fucking open mic. There's no fucking no flying.

Speaker 1 (01:11:26):
I'm not on this ship, like I gotta go there.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
Yeah, it's an open mic. I called a nigga. He said,
show up. He goes, well, there needs to be a
flyer or something. I go, there is no flyer. He goes, well,
then someone needs to design a flyer dream weaver and
that so then I would go into the journalism I
worked in the newspaper at the fam youwn and so

(01:11:48):
graphic design, I was part of the whole Lady. That's
one of the mini pieces. You learn everything about a
print outlet. So I would go in there and I
learned I was doing dream and doing a little bit
of front page. And then they had this shit called
Quark Express. And Quark Express was like the photoshop of that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
Yo, you fucking me up, because this is all shit
that I took in college that by the time I
was dropped out, it was like, nigga, We're not using
any of this ship anymore. It's all absolutely it's all
Windows Year And they were like, nah, this is dream weaver, Nigga,
we doing photoshop.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
Yeah, so yeah, this is pre photoshop. So I'm learn
I taught myself graphic design to make flyers so that
I could fucking get permission to travel to do the shows.
But now if I get on an open mic, I
would call a fucking club and go, not only will
I do your open mic, I'll make you a flyer,

(01:12:43):
give me fifty dollars for the fly So now I'm
the graphic nigga for half of the open mic. So
now I'm picking up extra time. Tell you what stead
of fifty dollars, give me twenty five dollars and let
me do ten minutes instead of five. Tell you what,
I'll do the fly for free if you give me
a team.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
Yup.

Speaker 2 (01:13:01):
Because I got a camera. I need to record a
set to send to this club. Blah blah blah, so
I need to do fifteen. That type of ideation comes
if you have a community of people that care about you, yep,
and want to have because I never thought about it
that I never thought to make my own fucking flyers
for show Man.

Speaker 1 (01:13:16):
And it's like you're saying it's a community, and it's
like it's your own, you know what I mean? Like
that hustle like somebody like yo, I swear to God,
I think this shit is like you either got it
or you don't. You know what I'm saying, Like that
that that drives teach it like yo, like I gotta
go get this ship because I got friends bro that
they like fam They can't read fucking Harry Potter book,

(01:13:37):
but they know how to make money, you know what
I'm saying. They know how to keep a roof over
their head, keep the lights on, make shit, happen. And
I'm just like, Yo, that's something that like you're talking
about that ideation, Like, Yo, if I could do this
for you, you're gonna give me a look on this side,
you know what I'm saying? Like that, just that a
lot of people don't. They're not they don't have that, bro,

(01:13:58):
Like they're just stuck in like, oh well, if I
can't do this, then I'm just stuck, you know what
I mean, Like I don't know what to do. Yo,
somebody got to give me money to do this, nah, man,
Like just go make it happen. Yo, you need to fly,
make a flying fan. You need a script, Go write
a script. You don't know how to write a script.
Go to the fucking library, Doug, Go get some books out.
You know what I'm saying, Like how to I don't
even know what the fuck final draft was, you know

(01:14:18):
what I'm saying. For the longest time, but I was
just like, yo, I got to learn how to use
this shit.

Speaker 2 (01:14:22):
I locked up, bro, Like I just had so many
good people around me in Tallahassee. Man, it's a perfect place.
Like you want to go to college in a town
where it's small enough where you can make those mistakes
and feel and it still feels like there's a community
you should to me Ideally, big college in a small
city is kind of the sweet spot in my opinion.

(01:14:44):
But it just depends on if your child needs education
or if your child needs community. And I think that
is what should go into college as well, because everything
about college is it feels a little scamming now, but
in those days.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
A little man, I want five to two nine plans
going right now? Cool? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
Seven thousand that's the cap, bro.

Speaker 1 (01:15:08):
Come on, I'm just just maxed out. And it's like
the more I think about it, Like, my wife is
forty years old. Man, I paid off her student loan
debt five years ago. She graduated in the year two
thousand and one B and she was gonna die with
that debt. She was paying two fifty whatever the fuck
down on the ship every month and it was just
the It wasn't touching the principal at all, you know

(01:15:30):
what I mean, It's just interesting. So she was just like, well,
it is one. It is because she's a white girl
from New Jersey. She's just like, yeah, I mean, you know,
it's just it's part of the game. I'm like, it's
not does this game what you mean? Like cut it out.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
I remember when I got back in school because I
was on probation, I couldn't get an internship anywhere, and
you need the internship reference didn't grow into the industry,
and it's like such a rigged fucking thing.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
And so.

Speaker 2 (01:16:03):
I'm going around all these TV stations and everybody's saying no,
And like in those days, I would pull up, which
is still a habit I have now that a lot
of people don't understand, Like I don't fuck with the phone.
If I can just pull up on you and pull
up and I'm gonna drop off my application in person.
And because this is before emailing attachments, and even still today,

(01:16:25):
if I had to go get a job, I would
walk in and handle the resume and then they would go,
what the fuck are you here? I emailed it to
you too, But I just wanted to see what I
would come up with a reason to justify my presence.
So I couldn't get no internships nowhere. And then every
morning when I got up though, there was a local
morning show I always listened to, and I noticed that

(01:16:46):
they don't do news and I'm like, well, why the
fuck do I need to go do someone else's internship.
Maybe they'll just create an internship. So I just drove
over the hot one on five point seven at the time.
It's gone now w VHT and Van Wilson was the
host of the morning show, and I go, hey, man,

(01:17:09):
I'm in journalism school, y'all. Don't y'all ain't got no news.

Speaker 1 (01:17:14):
What do you say?

Speaker 2 (01:17:15):
I come in every morning and do a five minute
newscast on the ten and the forty for you. I'll
do threal. I do three national stories, a local, and
a kicker, and you can pre record it in the
six o'clock hour and then you can run it the
rest of the morning. Yeah you know what, Yeah, that's
a good idea. I go, cool, I need you to

(01:17:35):
sign this form blah blah blah for credit. I'm coming
for free creating my own internship. So the way the
way the universe was in the hustle is rewarded is
what I also feel. So I'm going in and doing
my little newscast every morning on the days my class
schedule will allow. I would hang to do it live,

(01:17:56):
but what I really every hour, I would do it
live instead of a pre record because I was hanging
because I wanted to be around morning radio. I wanted
to see what they were doing. I wanted to understand
the mechanics of the show. School Teachers ended up being
one of my early comedy mentors. William Gilmore.

Speaker 1 (01:18:13):
He was the co host.

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
He was the Canadian sidekick. Gilmour was a fucking school teacher,
so at eight o five he had to dip for
the eight thirty Bell. I did news long enough that
after like about six months, Van was like, well, you know,
when William leaves, you can just stay in and be
the co host.

Speaker 1 (01:18:29):
The rest of the way.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
And that's how I got the air check tape that
I needed that ultimately got me the job in Birmingham
when Ricky Smiley left. And that's because you just called
the station and go, hey, pull up. That started fourteen
years in radio.

Speaker 1 (01:18:43):
Bro. I say this shit all the time. I'm like
this something that was said so the Van was, this
is a lot to be said for showing up, you
know what I'm saying, Like, because people this was a
thing that came up a while ago, people talking about
self tapes and like versus auditioning in person, for shit
like that. You know what I mean. This is a
question I want to ask you do because like you've
done every you know what I mean, like commercials, stand up, radio, movies, TV,

(01:19:09):
every news everything. What is the not the sweet spot,
but like what is the shit that like feeds you
the most? You know what I'm saying, Like that you
get off stage, you're like, oh, you get off set
and you're like all right, like that felt good.

Speaker 2 (01:19:26):
I say movies the least because it's a script, is
somebody else's words.

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
It's fun to do.

Speaker 2 (01:19:35):
Stand up, I guess, but I'm falling out of love
with with the way I do stand up, so I'm
trying to change that up. Next year, I want to
get into like more personal stories. I don't want to
talk about the world no more.

Speaker 1 (01:19:48):
That shit is exhausted.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
I got one more special maybe left in me where
it's say the world and analysis of everything around us,
and then it's like.

Speaker 1 (01:19:55):
Let me tell y'all about me.

Speaker 2 (01:19:57):
Tell you about that goddamn dog I tried to poise
and they ca chasing me home from school every day.
Me bro, there was a dog.

Speaker 1 (01:20:05):
It's a separate story.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
But tried to fucking give them hot dogs or rat
pellets in it, and he could I don't know if
he could smell it or what, but he wouldn't need it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
What's the ship?

Speaker 2 (01:20:21):
So I want to talk more about my life, my son,
my pops, that whatever that weird relationship was. So stand
up is probably the most fun. But I feel like
what you're doing now is what I'm the most curious about.
Like I had a podcast, but I think there's something

(01:20:43):
to just raw thoughts and sharing and connecting with strangers.
The thing I love most about my old podcast at
this Roy's job Fair podcast he did and we just
talked to people about their work and what they do.
Just tell me about just regular people. There's no celebrities,
it's just.

Speaker 1 (01:21:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21:06):
We talked to a post a postal mail carrier. It
was like, yeah, I delivered certified letters to crack houses
and I have to get a signature. It's weird, yeah,
and it's clearly pharmaceuticals that don't belong to you. Yeah,
but it's none of my business.

Speaker 1 (01:21:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21:26):
So this idea of connecting and talking to regular people,
because that's what I liked about the Daily Show. The
Daily Show gave me an opportunity to just parlay with
folks who may never have gotten a story told. Like
you're able to just bring a camera and point it
at somebody and then throw that footage up on the
Internet for everybody to know about like connecting with other people.

(01:21:48):
I like that the most, But I can't do that
in stand up because I'm not a CrowdWork person. I'm
not bringing people up on stage to interview, Like that's.

Speaker 1 (01:21:57):
Just not my flow.

Speaker 2 (01:21:58):
Stand up is wearing my comfortable performatively. But I'm more
curious about like this nonscripted conversational type space, not necessarily
late night, but there's gotta be a way to do
sad time.

Speaker 1 (01:22:11):
I mean, that's the first thing I might do. Bro.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
We might have to shoot a parody your drink Champs
called juice Champs.

Speaker 1 (01:22:23):
Orgain. You know what I'm sat.

Speaker 2 (01:22:25):
And you take media where media is now and you
twist it a little bit and you can still say
something to have commentary and still like make a point
and make it funny. So like that's that's where I'm
most excited. But I just don't know where to start
with that.

Speaker 1 (01:22:39):
Ship.

Speaker 2 (01:22:40):
Man, It's like the ideas in my head sometimes. Man,
it's like being in a grocery store with no shelves.

Speaker 1 (01:22:49):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (01:22:50):
It's just it's just a warehouse full of ship everywhere,
and I don't know what to put together to create
the next meal. And like people go, what are you
gonna do next? I'm like, well, I'm gonna do a sitcom.

Speaker 1 (01:23:00):
I'm and do it movies.

Speaker 2 (01:23:01):
But the other ideas I'm really excited about, there's no
organization to them. There's no filing shelving system yet, so
I don't know how to put it all together. That's
what I'm still working on, and that part is hard,
and that's something I couldn't figure. I can't sift through
a Shelfles's grocery store while also still working at the

(01:23:22):
Daily Show at the time. That was part of why
I stepped away, because like I legit need to just
slow the fuck down for a minute and just stare
at the wall and then figure it out.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
Because that is that's a demanding schedule because I'm come
from that, you know what I'm saying, that that area
of entertainment and that shit is just like, Yo, we
on twice a week. We on four Advice was four
times a week. It's like, yeah, y'all on four times
a week. There's no writers here advice. Y'all gotta just cook,
you know what I'm saying. So it was just like
off the dome, Off the dome, so like to me,

(01:23:54):
like dudes like you were, It's just like, Yo, I've
been doing this. I have an hour set, you know
what I mean. From the other direction that you're coming
from where it's just like I already know how to
do this, you know what I mean, Like this is
what I've been doing for a long time, and when
I do do stage shows, it is ninety five percent
crowd work. You know what I'm saying. I got like
two jokes up there that I know in my head
are gonna hit, and then the rest of it is

(01:24:14):
just like Yo, that's your girl, you know what I'm saying, Like,
yo's talk about this d d da Yeah, let me
tell it. Let me tell you something about a shorty
that I had, Da da da da, And then we
get into it like that, Whereas I'm like, Yo, a
dude like you who's like Yo, I got my set
down path, you know what I'm saying, Like I've worked
it out, I've worked out all the things, and I
know I'm coming on stage and I'm gonna just deliver

(01:24:35):
this is gonna hit, this is gonna hit, this is
gonna hit, this is gonna hit, like and the confidence
too like to go.

Speaker 2 (01:24:40):
Out and do it because you know, yeah, it's I
just think that people like us society, right, I think
we just desire more real and authentic connections with people.
And there's something about comedy. Stand up comedy in some
instances feel it was a little too polished and performative,

(01:25:03):
and that's why I don't think it gets embraced the
same as conversation, right, Like you can have your favorite
comedian do a.

Speaker 1 (01:25:11):
Clip or something.

Speaker 2 (01:25:12):
That's part of why, like a lot of the crowd
work clips work now, it's because it's conversation, and I
think that's what people are gravitating towards. You know, the
comedy needs to feel real and authentic and genuine. So
if it doesn't feel like that, you know, like I
would argue that's part of why a late night set

(01:25:34):
doesn't have the same gravitas as it did twenty years ago.
Not to say that it ain't shit. It's a good
credit to have, but in terms of how it resonates
with the people who consume it, versus a TikToker, a
motherfucker in the living room vertical with terrible lighting could

(01:25:56):
get just as many laughs and just as many views
and be just as relatable to the consumer. And I
think that's the thing about comedy that's fucked up, is
that everybody can do it every now and then, so
there's no the idea of the professional curator being the gatekeeper.
It ain't like singing, don't don't. We don't want our

(01:26:18):
singing from everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
There's as.

Speaker 2 (01:26:23):
You want your singing and you're acting from USDA approved motherfuckers.
That's why y'all clown to be movies because it don't
look the same as the ship. That's you know, McDonald's
McDowell's type situation. Whereas with comedy, we don't care what
makes us laugh because a laugh is pure. So it
could be a TikToker, it could be a stand up clip,

(01:26:44):
it could be a podcast. It's just the more relatable
and genuine it is, that's what's going to take off.
So I just think the stand up has to get
more And that's why I want to start talking more
about me, because I think that's just more genuine And
that's why I'm headed and much.

Speaker 1 (01:27:00):
I didn't even know what to talk about, so I
just started talking about me. You know what I'm saying,
Like I started there, you know what I'm saying, because
I was just like I don't want to talk about
like I don't know. I felt not dumb, but like
you know what I'm saying, Like people look at you
a certain way when you don't graduate. You know what
I'm saying, When you don't finish college. It's like my
mom's to this day, she's like, you got to go
back to school and get your degree finished. I got
like three honorary degrees from schools that I went to
for like two semesters. You know what I'm saying. But

(01:27:22):
like that, like yo, I don't know enough about this
to open my mouth on it. You know what I'm saying,
led me to be like, LOK, let me know what
you know what you do know about you, your neighborhood,
your family, the shit that you done, went through your
personal people, and it's perfect. You know what I mean. Yo, listen,
we gotta pay some bills, will be right back. I
don't care what this ad is. If it's for fucking

(01:27:43):
the Mormon Church, just do it, y'all. You know what
I'm saying, victory like episode eleven on say, you know
what I'm saying for my bilieu with people, Roy Joe's
Roy Jews Junia too.

Speaker 2 (01:27:56):
You know, y'all, I musta forgot He's the most famous
Roy because he can will pass.

Speaker 1 (01:28:01):
I don't take offense you, Roy Rodgers. You know what
I'm saying, Like Roy Rodgers contment bars here, Roy Wood Junior,
the comedy legend, one of my favorites. You know what
I'm saying is here. You know what I mean? And
of course you're here, so we're gonna get into some
shit that's going on in the world because you said
that you were about to end that chapter of roy Wood.
Now it's about twenty. It's the last one, so listen.

(01:28:22):
He's ending it here after the victory lambisod eleven. Roy
Wood will never comment on geopoliticals ever again. Yah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:30):
Let somebody give me that bagh talk about the bad
that shit.

Speaker 1 (01:28:34):
Yeah, so, yo, fucking you know what I mean, off rip,
We got this fucking clown show bro. The Republican debates.
I don't even know if these are like official sanction
debates by the government anymore. Or these ships are just
providing you know what I mean? Like Yo by Mammoth
Nation presented by but it was on News Nation News Nation.
But I was like, is that a real fucking thing?

(01:28:55):
I don't, I ain't even sure.

Speaker 2 (01:28:56):
But finding this debate, I was trying to find a
Republican debate is a Remember when them Thursday night games
first went to NFL networks and everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:29:04):
Said, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:29:05):
Well the fuck was the NFL. We had Buffalo Wild
Wings the channel, and then they didn't have the channel yet.

Speaker 1 (01:29:13):
It was early I'm old.

Speaker 2 (01:29:15):
It was the early days of the NFL network where
it wasn't even part of the basic cable zone.

Speaker 1 (01:29:19):
Was Yeah, it was like, Yo, you got satellite, that's
the only way to get the shit. Well, Yo, you
got a cousin in college, you better borrow his email. Bro.

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
The first year direct TV, we had direct TV in college,
and the motherfucker they didn't tell us that you don't
have local channels. And the playoffs hit and we couldn't
watch the playoffs and we had twelve motherfuckers over to
the house. We went to Radio Shock, bought some coacs
and climb to climbing and tried to steal our neighbor's cable.
Neighbor caught us.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
Was cool with it. It's your gut running through the patio.

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
So as long as I can come in there and
watch with y'all because y'all got the bigger TV, Tallahassee
is the greatest place to commit crimes, make friends. Uh,
this debate, I ain't even seen the clips of it yet, but.

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
It's crazy, bro, and it's it's to me. It just
sounded like you talk because we were talking about opa
mics before. It's just four bad comedians doing open mics
like roasting each other, like you know how them like
them shows that he used to set up. He was like, yo,
lost each other, but they're all bad at it because
the first motherfucker that popped up was was Vvek. I mean, yeah,
thank you. Shout out to you, because yo, and that's

(01:30:29):
how I know you've been on it, because you can
say the motherfuckers without sucking it up. That was like
the last thing I learned before I left the Daily.
So he called Chris Christie fat. You know what I'm saying.
We can listen to clip, but he called Chris Christy fat,
you know what I mean? And this is what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
Oh, Chris Christie, Man, Chris Christie won't come over you.
That's still a Jersey boy, Chris Christy.

Speaker 1 (01:30:51):
I tell motherfuckers all the time that the moment I
moved to Jersey, he was still the governor. He was
on his way out, you know what I'm saying. And
I was just like, Yo, this dude, he he's Tony soprano.
Like he definitely like he watched the entire Sopranos, probably
rewatched it when they when they made the HD, and
was like, Yo, I'm that dude, Like I'm the boss
of New Jersey. Like, now, motherfucker, you're a governor, bro,

(01:31:12):
this ship in place. You can't shut down the bridge
because you feel like it, you know what I'm saying.
You can't shut down the beach because you want to.
You want it to yourself, Like that's public hit.

Speaker 2 (01:31:19):
I mean, Place is a sid I mean of those
four wait, I want to I want to see Christie
defend himself, all right, because because with that be getting
into people scared. You know, he knows how to fuck
with people. Bro, He's good at it. He's good at
that ship. Bro, I'm like throwing you off your game.

Speaker 1 (01:31:33):
Sun is crazy. He's like the Draymond of politics. But
like you just just fuck with you, motherfucker till you
foul out. Like well played. Chris Christie defend the woman. Yeah,
it's and nobody likes him at his party, which is wild.
I'm like, why you like you? Just are you trying
to get on like see an n Then Chris Christie,
don't play underru. He's not gonna live. He's gonna live.

(01:31:55):
He don't want to live at Trump's feet. Hm.

Speaker 2 (01:31:58):
And they get juice in the GOP gotta live at
Trump's because everybody else is still low key playing. They're like,
all of this is just auditions for Trump's running mate.
Oh yeah, all these debates are just Trump running made
auditions because it ain't gonna be.

Speaker 1 (01:32:13):
It ain't gonna be. That's the ship, Like that's what
everybody's saying. He's like, yo, he's he's not trying to
actually win this ship. He's just trying to give Trump
the wild dick flu solo. To the point, it's just
like you know what, little Indian black come here.

Speaker 2 (01:32:27):
Yes, hassen please little oh shout out to edgo o them.
On Saturday Night Live, she has been doing an impersonation of.

Speaker 1 (01:32:40):
The vi OH ship yes getting murdered. I ain't even
trying to do that ship because you got.

Speaker 2 (01:32:48):
It, yo, Like it's one of them impersonations where he's
just like god damn. And I'm not trying to say
she nailed playing a man like that. I'm just saying
the makeup the way they you just gotta set into ship.
You gotta see pull up, pull up. If you can
see ego, just search ego Saturday Night Live the VEC.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
Yeah, yeah, whoa, that's great, bro, But Yo, like these motherfuckers,
I feel like the whole ship at this point is
just like it's not even politics anymore, but it's just
entertaining because like I'm watching the ship, I didn't hear

(01:33:35):
nothing about you know what I mean, like anything of substance.
You know what I'm saying. You're dumb. You're dumb. You
don't even know anything. Do you know about crypto? You
know what I'm saying, Like, just like what are your
motherfuckers that feel like?

Speaker 2 (01:33:46):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:33:46):
It's just like, is this the end of whil'n out
where you'll do the wild style and y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:33:50):
Just like battle each other with that would be better
than this because at least we would know who won
because d J d Reck would have to cut a screen.

Speaker 1 (01:34:01):
They're not moderated.

Speaker 2 (01:34:02):
Well, I still feel like all debates should have a
tony reality mute button.

Speaker 1 (01:34:07):
Fan or moderator. That's like somebody's gonna be like, yo,
shut the fuck up, like you know what.

Speaker 2 (01:34:12):
I'm saying, Like, is gonna like bite this, mute the
mic and let Chris Christy finish his point, then turn
for beckx mic back.

Speaker 1 (01:34:19):
That's it, right.

Speaker 2 (01:34:20):
I don't think that most voters care about policy though, Yeah, yo,
were all single issue voter.

Speaker 1 (01:34:27):
Well that's my guy. I like him, yeah, because he
does this, I yo. And it's crazy because it's like
when you hear about like Latinos for Trump and like
Blacks for Trump and this to Trump and for Trumpy
he's for Trump. It's like, bro, you and you go
back and you're like, yo, why you've well, you know
I was getting paid, you getting paid, like you were

(01:34:49):
getting paid, but all these other ships like abortion got banned.
You know what I'm saying, Like, what the fuckigga? Like
do you care about anything else? Nah? And that's the reality.
I'm like, and I say this shit all the time.
I'm like, bro, if you like it, just a regular
dude living your regular fucking life, and all you worried
about is paying your life bill. You know what I mean.
It's a lot to ask for you to be like yo,
step out of that and think about you know, the
children and other people like whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:35:12):
I work in a coal mine, Trump said, he bringing
back coal.

Speaker 1 (01:35:17):
That's mine. That's my dude. This dude talk about green energy.
I can't bang with them because they're gonna take my
job away.

Speaker 2 (01:35:22):
The fucking windmill people ain't gonna hire coal niggas to
work the windmill to dusty.

Speaker 1 (01:35:28):
So all I come on the field with the fucking
wind turbines, this ship. They look like pig pen walked
in the room. Bro.

Speaker 2 (01:35:37):
So you say, you say go green, I hear unemployment.

Speaker 1 (01:35:41):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:35:42):
This is why what Trump said when he was doing
an interview with Sean Hannity the other day, he said,
I'm bringing back We're gonna drill, bringing back fracking, all
that shit fuck the environment. So if that's what you've
made your money on for decades, that's your dude, And
you don't care that he's going to the poor x
Y z amount of people you don't care that they're

(01:36:02):
gonna make even thinking about an abortion of crime. That's
what it's gonna come to, Yo, thought police, your phone
already listening to you. You think your phone ain't gonna
snitch the moment you mumble I'm pregnant and I'm not
keeping it Minority report level.

Speaker 1 (01:36:18):
Oh ship got Tom Cruise, He's good to get my ass.
So that's what it's gonna come to. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:36:23):
But it's all we're all about self preservation now.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
And that's crazy, man, because like, yeah, it's self preservation.
This ship is like I feel like everything is entertainment
now with this ship because it's like rap too. Like
Joe Budden got into it with NBA young boy who
is from Alabama. Mm hm, you know what I'm saying,
and he was just like, YO, don't fucking play with me.
You know what I'm saying. D D D. Because Joe

(01:36:48):
Budden came out and saying, YO, you're a trash you
know what I'm saying, instead of saying y'all don't fuck
with your music. Da da da you're trash. Joe Budden
apologizes this. Joe Budden's apology like y'all, I jumped to
yah ship, there's another way I should have communicated that.
Let's right. So then here comes young boy does a
TikTok on a horse. Hey, I love you, nigga. This
shit is all entertainment. I'm like, bro, when the fuck

(01:37:10):
did rat turn into? At what? Because we're men of the.

Speaker 2 (01:37:12):
Way, He's on the horse and then the horse walks
out the frame to reveil like a Bugatti or something
like that. It was some sports car in the distance.

Speaker 1 (01:37:20):
In the distance, and he's just like, yo, I'm in
Utah house. Arrest y'all love you, Joe Budden. We're gonna
do an interview now, Like, I'm like, bro, at what point,
look at this shit? At what point did the fucking
did hip hop? Because we like, you know what I'm saying,
Like we we're in the forties. At what point did
fucking hip hop become the wwe B Because to me,
it was fifty cent and g unit era, you know

(01:37:40):
what I'm saying. But like, I don't know, man, was
it something else? Was was it another point in time?
Because it's like this shit is like this. My Peop
would have never done this, My Mike Outcasts would have
never done this.

Speaker 2 (01:37:51):
My issue with podcasts as it relates to hip hop
is that these conversations used to play out over bars, yes,
over microphones, if that makes sense, overbeats rather than over
a microphone. Because if this were Jay and Nas, now

(01:38:12):
Nas would be on a podcast talking about you fuck
my girl, and then the Hawaiian Sophie.

Speaker 1 (01:38:21):
Conect. It's like, no, get in the booth and attack
this person. Take Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:38:30):
I just think we're in a gossip culture that has
just made things a little bit, a little bit messier
than I would have cared for to see. But then also,
I'm forty four. I can't name five NBA Young Boy
tracks and that's not a disc he's loved. He is
clearly people fucking go get your money, young brother. I

(01:38:51):
brought to you from the South.

Speaker 1 (01:38:53):
Go get the ship.

Speaker 2 (01:38:53):
I ain't supposed to know everybody, but you also want
to make sure that the artists that are doing stuff
that it's gone through music in some sort of way.
Man Like it would have been nothing for him to
get in the booth and do a quick sixteen and
showed the same love, and then you get more exposure,
you know. I just think there's this need to Ooh,
I heard he said something. What you're gonna say back.

Speaker 1 (01:39:16):
The response Caddy?

Speaker 2 (01:39:20):
But I like, I love the fact that because you know,
Joe Budden don't apologize often, so in fact that Joe
like that. And I think the thing that's dope about
Joe Budden and hip hop is that he's still seeing
by the youngs as an elder statesman. So there's still
a level of for him to go out on a
horse in the snow on house arrests.

Speaker 1 (01:39:41):
In Jeorgane.

Speaker 2 (01:39:43):
I don't know that Jordan's that's respect.

Speaker 1 (01:39:45):
That's like just on the production quality. It's crazy. He
pulled all the them cars went out there on a flatbed. Yeah,
I know, he ain't drive that charge of the there's
too much snow in a round for a hell cut. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:40:00):
So I just I just think it's dope that it
played out this quickly and this cleanly, So you know,
good for them. Man shout out to Joe Biden adding
some levity because he's one of those people that like
his opinions are very polarizing, but they matter to the
people he's given the opinion about. He's like the movie

(01:40:22):
critic that most niggas have never heard of But with
that movie critic says you're good or bad, It's like, oh,
oh that person, Oh they don't like me. You care,
whether love or hate? You care, And that's hard to
do in this world. Yeah, Joe's carved that, yo.

Speaker 1 (01:40:40):
You know what else hard to do in this podcast,
But we have to do it, you know what I'm saying.
It's episode eleven victory like Roy.

Speaker 2 (01:40:47):
Would hang on, I'm sorry, I gotta know why Eric
Adams is trending. It's my favorite mayor because he always
and some ship for more.

Speaker 1 (01:40:57):
You know, I'm a freemason now, so I just went
to the Freemason restaurant. I took a short flight there
from from Queens to Stanton Isley. Oh boo.

Speaker 2 (01:41:05):
Never mind going to DC to urge President Biden to
tackle the migrant crisis. Joseph's too many motherfuckers getting sent
up in from Texas.

Speaker 1 (01:41:17):
Come on, I'm just having a nice meal, hey, how
he says, restaurants, just having a nice meal at this restaurant,
and I see a nice lady come by. But then
I had to see six Venezuela water molas and they
don't know what they migrated. Joe, let's go to the club.
Let's go to the club, Joe. Let's go to zero Bar.
Let's go to zero Barn. Turn up with Lady Man.

(01:41:41):
Appreciate you for having me many thank you for coming
through a Victory La episode of love it Roy with
job right here, man, And this is what it is, man,
This is the future. I told you, Victory, this is
a mother the fucking future. So we got more intimate
moments with guys like Roy. You know what I'm saying.
People are loving in my own respect, you know what
I mean. We'll see y'all next time. A luxury light

(01:42:13):
light night night h