April 2, 2025 • 46 mins
Only a small group knows what it’s REALLY like to own the term "nepo baby", and Zoe welcomes Rumer Willis, daughter of Demi Moore & Bruce Willis, to discuss what it’s like through her lens. The duo trade stories on their famous parents, as Rumer shares what it was like traveling to movie sets as a child and reveals the ritual that she still has with her mom and two sisters.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi,
and welcome back to another episode of What in the Winkler.
Today's guest is Rumor Willis. She is an American actress.
She is also the eldest daughters of Bruce Willis and
Demi Moore, so we are both daughters of She is
a incredibly talented actress. She has been on Broadway. She
(00:25):
is an incredible dancer. And I'm so excited she's here.
Let's let her in. Hi, Hi, thank you so much
for doing this. I'm really grateful. I started this podcast
in our first episode aired on Halloween, so it's really new,
and it was supposed to be me and my mom.
(00:47):
She's wild and insane and the best. But she got
really sick and so she has not so literally she
did two episodes with me and then was in the
hospital basically until like a month ago or two weeks ago.
So and she's totally fine. She's made like a huge recovery,
which is like crazy and incredible and a miracle. But
(01:10):
so I've been doing it on my own and which
has been great. But like I was a teacher for
twelve years, like I'm a mom, I have a nonprofit,
like this was just like this is something new, so
thanks for doing it.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh my god, my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
It's I'm trying to I'm in the process of starting
one as well, and it's kind of like trying to
figure out it all out.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, it's wild, and then they change, you know, it changes,
and you know. The craziest thing is like just keeping
a conversation going, like when it's obviously like we don't
have this problem, but sometimes it's like okay, like is
this conversation and then it works. It just like it
seems to be like interesting and fun. What's yours going
(01:53):
to be about?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I'm still kind of trying to figure that out because
I have I have my company Rumor has It, and
so I'm trying to figure out if I want it
to be separate of that and just call it Rumor
has It, or if I want something that's like totally different.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Actually, I have a crazy story about this. I got
a call from my kids' school and I volunteer there
all the time, like I'm a cue, and they were
like a package came for you, and I was like, oh,
just open it, like I'm sure it's something for the
classroom whatever, and I got a picture from the head
of the elementary school, who thank god I love, with
(02:31):
her holding spicy cubes in her hand, and she was like,
what is this? What classes this for? And I was
like I want to die, like I would rather have
like my you know, like I just I died. And
she was like, you have to come get them, and
I was like, throw them in the trash. I never
want to see them again. I refuse to come to
your office and pick up my spicy cubes.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was sae, but like is it a nice cube?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
And now because now I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Like I want to order this.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I know it's like this little cube and you're supposed
to put it in your coffee in the morning. So
I'll report back. I'll let you know how they worked.
So you are also an actress.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, I mean you know it's as a also nepo baby,
like it's it's there's so much weird stuff that comes
with it because everybody's always like it must be so
hard in the shadow of your parents, and I'm like,
but that's not really the shadow that I'm in. Like, right,
if I'm not talented, then it doesn't matter, right, Like
(03:34):
if I can't act or I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Especially like in the arts, like matter. Why it's funny
because I was Kate Hudson is a good friend of
mine and our kids are best friends. And I was
watching an interview with her because I was like watching
her new show and she was somebody of course was
saying like that ba baby, and she was like, in
the arts it doesn't matter because yeah, I can get
your foot in the door, but if you're not talented,
no one's gonna watch you. Yeah, no one cares. It's
(03:59):
such an intesting conversation, like the NEPO baby world. Because
obviously you have two famous parents. I have one, although
I think my mom is more famous because she's just,
you know, amazing and insane, but in a very different circle.
And I don't know. For me, it was obviously it's
amazing and it comes with so many perks and privilege
(04:24):
and all the things. But like I felt, and I
don't know your family, but you guys seem super close.
And I have two brothers and more super close. And
when people would ask me, like, what's it like growing
up with your dad? I would literally not know how
to answer, because to me, he was just a normal dad.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I think that there's this idea that my sisters and
I call it like a narpy, like not a real person,
that I think that people have this idea that if
you're famous, and I think, especially obviously, there was a
different era that I think of movie stars, right, and.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
We talk about that all the time, there weren't that many.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
There weren't that many, right, and you know, and even
your dad likes, there's people that are so iconic, right,
that kind of transcend the project that they were working on.
And I think that that doesn't happen anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And so.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
It's just a different era, right, And nowadays, I think
there just wasn't access in the way that there is now.
People weren't doing podcasts, we didn't have Instagram. People weren't
sharing our lives the way that all of us do now.
And so I think, yeah, but like it's just my dad, And.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
It's like I think when I say that, sometimes people
look at me like I'm being slippant or rude or bitchy,
and I'm like, no, I'm just saying like because in
my answer would always be like, especially when I went
to college, I'd be like, well, well, what was like
with your parents? You know when I realized, But to
me it felt so normal. I now realize that, you know,
as as an adult. It's there are parts of it
(06:10):
that are not normal but normal to us. That's right,
thing normal to us?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Right, Like someone used to say, well, what was it
like growing up with famous parents? And it's like, well,
I don't know, because I don't I don't know anything
different than.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That, and I don't know them like that.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, and I have nothing really to compare it to. Right,
you know, my normal was I didn't go to a
full year of school until fifth grade because we were
traveling on set, you know. And there's obviously certain things
that my basic math is not great. But you know,
I got to go to really cool glass blowing museums
(06:49):
in the Czech Republic, you know, and weird cool experiences.
But I don't know, I think I think generally, I
think think it's I find it not annoying, because you know,
God love people. They are only doing as the best
that they can. But I find it frustrating sometimes when
(07:12):
that is the leading question of so what was it
like or how how must that have been? I can't
even imagine what your life is because in a lot
of ways, our lives are just like everybody else's. Most
parents were frustrated with you or you're worried about disappointing
them where you you know, if you don't finish your homework,
(07:34):
or your mean to your siblings. Right, like a lot
of the same.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Right. It's funny because also we grew up in a time.
I mean, I know you're younger than me, but where
like if you were out and somebody was taking your
there was the paparazzi was totally different, and like our
family role was like we were not to be in pictures,
same the kids, and like they respected that that was
something that you know that there there was an unspoken
(07:59):
or actually i've spoken, like agreement that we would never
be in pictures. And I never wanted to be an
actress because I just like, I don't know, I went
the opposite. But my brother Max is like a director
and a writer and married an actress, and you know,
like so it's like and my older brother was a
manager for a long time. Now he's in music, but
(08:21):
like they both went into that world. And I I
really believe that part of why it didn't was because
I was so I had like this like insecurity where
I would like try to like prove to other people
that I was normal instead of just kind of like
being myself. And I wished that I had like I
(08:43):
don't know, I wished that I had just like been
who I was and done what I had wanted to do,
or you know what I mean. Like it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well I think it's challenging too, and I'm still working
on this at you know, I'm gone thirty seven this year,
so yeah, is and I feel so old, which is
what's so crazy, you know, have a few more kids
to have and then go for it, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I think. I I think when you grow up.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
With a certain amount of privilege, both perceived and real, right,
I felt as a recovering people pleaser, even from a
very young age.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I felt this need to prove how.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I wasn't what everyone thought that I was.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I cannot tell you how much I relate, right, And
it's not like I was.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We weren't.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
We didn't weren't handed credit cards as kids. We weren't
running around you know, having shoppings like.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Free for alls, right, right.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
We still had you know, obviously had privilege that way,
but not in this kind of over consumption, irresponsible kind.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Of way that I think a lot of people perceive.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But walking into any room, I felt this. The pressure
and the shadow that I felt actually wasn't from my parents' talent.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
It was from the privilege.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I don't deserve to be here because I haven't earned
it and I don't like I've always had an issue with,
especially being an actor, the amount of attention I was
getting in relation to the amount of work that I
was doing, you know, right where if you're this unknown
actress and then you become known because of your talent
(10:34):
and the work that you're doing, that to me was
always something that I craved but obviously couldn't have because.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
You already had the attention.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, the attention was that you know.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
That I look awkward and my face is too large
for my body, and I'm you know, when I'm sixteen
years old and I'm like a little heavier in trying
to figure.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Out like you know, puberty and all of that.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
But how amazing that you still did it like that,
that that attention sent me into like I couldn't. I
couldn't handle it, you know, I like literally couldn't. I couldn't.
It was too much. I was too I'm too sensitive,
I'm too like. And also what I always talk about
is like that you walked into a room or I
walked into a room, and we ever the people were
(11:21):
strangers to us, but to but to them, they knew,
they thought they knew everything about us. Yeah, And what
a up like position that is, because you're never on
equal ground ground, you know, and you're not like starting fresh,
like hey, I'm Zoe.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
A thousand percent. Yeah. I think you know.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I think that is the thing that I feel like
I fight against all the time is just before I
walk into a room, there's already an assumption. And what
I used to get when you still could go into
a casting office.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
For an audition.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Was these are my favorites. God, you're so much prettier
in person, which is to me such.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
An insane thing.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Say. It's basically just saying you're not photogenic.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, and you're like, oh.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Thank you, and got you're you're so much nicer or
like you're at all what I expected. And I think
in my twenties that used to bother me. Now I'm like,
you know, whatever, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I think I feel like I've I feel like I've
made enough of.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Uh maybe not as maybe I don't think that i've.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Don't you paid your dues?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yeah, yeah, right not.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
That's what happens when you have a child and you're
still breastfeeding. I feel like you can't remember and you
just start stuttering, I know.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
And then when you get to forty four, you're like
impairing menopause and you also get just.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
It would go this long where you're just like crazy.
I feel like there's still so much more I have
to do in terms of my acting career, and I
feel like people still don't quite know where to place me,
you know, because I really did myself a wildest service
(13:22):
in my twenties, and I had this justin Bieber short
jet black haircut, and I had all these tattoos and piercings,
and I remember my mom looking at me and going,
you know, you really should think about just dressing a
little bit more feminine, and.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Maybe not so.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
In one style because people are going to put you
into a box.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I said, no, they're not.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Meanwhile, here I am.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
For the majority of my twenties, the only roles I
got were a lesbian, a drug addict, someone who had
been sexually or emotionally abused.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
You know, I think I.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Did my first period piece, like my first western literally
last year, and I.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Was like, finally, yes I can I can dress like
a girl. Guys.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Yeah, you know I could do it all.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, I feel like I'm still in this place where
I'm just not that I'm waiting to be given a chance,
but I'm I'm I'm hungry for the opportunity to find
a piece to show what I can do, because I
do think that I'm without sounding egotistical or cocky, like,
(14:37):
I do think that I have a talent for it
and a love for it and want to be able
to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
You know, your sisters also do the same thing you do,
or not really.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Scout is kind of dipping her toe in the water
right now, but mainly focused on music and tulula kind of,
you know, she dances around it sometimes.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
And are you the oldest?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I am oldest of five girls.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
That's crazy, that's so I mean, that's so fun. There's no,
it's just all girls.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I have posterone. It's insane.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I cannot imagine. You know, I have three boys, and
I grew up with two brothers, so like I never
had a sister, but the sister relationship. My husband has
three sisters, and their relationship is like so incredible, you know,
because it's just it's such a I mean, it's such
a unique experience. And if you don't have it, I
mean I have girlfriends and I'm super close to them,
(15:41):
but like having sisters just seems like such a a
wonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
It's really cool.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I mean they you absolutely bonkers and they're my best friends,
you know. Yeah, And they were there when I gave
birth to my daughter in my house, you know, they
like they were right there with me.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Couldn't have met anyone.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
So you did a home birth?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And did you? Was it everything you wanted?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
And you know, next time I do it, there's so
much more even that I would do differently and be
more I guess self sufficient the word. But when you
allow yourself to space obviously given the circumstances, if you
(16:27):
have you know, not a high risk birth, et cetera,
or pregnancy. I mean, it was incredible, It was amazing,
and I've never felt more capable or empowered in my
entire life.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I was the opposite. I was like to the point
where they like sent me home twice because I was like,
I need to be there at a certain time at
the hospital. I need the epidural. And then my first one,
I was sent home twice, but I'm like the most
anxious person you'll ever meet. And then my third literally
I had him in a in a closet at Cedars
(17:00):
because there were no rooms available, and he was so
and he flew out and I was like, oh my gosh,
is he okay? Like did I need any switches? Like
is he? Like? Is he okay? Because he came out
so fast and he was like, of course, like eight
or nine pounds. But I was just my body was ready. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Once the first one, and this might sound crude, but
like truly, once the first one stretches you out like.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
And also like your body just knows what to do. Yeah,
It's like everything happens so differently with the second and
the third, and and it's it's I loved giving birth
and I did it differently than you, and I still
loved it, you know, like I feel like however you
do it is. So it's just such an incredible experience.
And then there's this like moment where it's just you guys,
(17:44):
you know, and it was such a special thing.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I but I bet I have so many feelings on
the whole kind of medical birth industry. But I think
for me, the biggest goal of what I'm trying to
create for women, especially with rumor has it, is an
ability to be informed, because I think it's severely lacking
informed consent is lacking having all the options. If you
(18:12):
walked up, given all of the options and said, you
know what I want to be on my back, give
me an epidural in a hospital, then and that's what
makes you feel the most comfortable, and you know all
of the like risk side effects blah blah blah, then great,
going right, do that. But I think for I didn't
know any There's just so many things.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
There wasn't even a conversation really, And this was thirteen
years ago, and I gave a birth plan and they
were like, you know, and I had to repeat the
birth plan over and over and over and over and
over again, you know, like I didn't want the baby
going anywhere without me. I didn't want and it was
like a constant Do you know Carson Meyer at all?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, just one of my good friends Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
So Sarah is one of my best friends, her older sister. Okay, cool,
And she was just telling me that Carson just wrote
a book and and like, Carson is such a wealth
of information that didn't exist when I was having babies
thirteen years ago, you know, oh.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
One thousand percent. And look even and a lot of
people again don't have the privilege to have access to
that totally right yond, I had my doula is who
taught Carson, and so I had her name's Lori Bregman, and.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
She was mine.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah, I love with my third.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
She helped me with all three, but she was in
the room with my third. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
She's incredible, the best, the best and witchy and wonderful.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
You know, she helped me find my midwife and without
her like she I credit her so much for the
confidence that I was able to have in my birthing
situation because my mom was very nervous because the only
her home birth that she had been to was when
she was pregnant with me and it did not end well, right,
(19:54):
you know, so again there's just not access. So that's
ideally what I want to create is the next kind
of step of rumor has it once I kind of
get it launched more formally, is having a community centered
space that is really focused on.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Answering questions for women?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Is this normal because you can google a thousand things
or find resources, or if you can't get a hold
of your OB on the weekend, maybe there's an article
that you know can help you. If I used to
get and I'm a very anxious person as well, if
I couldn't feel lou kick me, I would freak out,
and all of a sudden, I was like, oh my gosh,
(20:38):
something's happened to her. She's dead, like you know, and
would go on this spiral and ended up going into
you know, the OB's office a couple of times to
get scanned when I probably didn't need to write.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
And so I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I just I think that there's so many conversations that
aren't had or people find and inappropriate to have about
breastfeeding or your vagina or you know, menopause. Like there's
such a deficit for conversations around women's mental health, physical health,
sexual health.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
It is baffling to me.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
It's crazy. I was actually at a dinner last week
at Tuscana with a bunch of women that I love
and we're all very different, and we were talking about
we're all in our forties and we were talking about
hormones and like that there's zero I don't know anything
except for that. I was terrified that hormones, like you know,
(21:37):
caused cancer or whatever. And people were saying that, like,
but I have no information. And my friend was saying
that really the only place to even get proper hormone
care right now is on telehealth because the doctors are yeah,
and I was like, wait, what this can't make this
can't be. But you know, if you test your hormones
(21:58):
in that minute, to me, they're different, so you don't
get everyone will say like a doctor will say like, yeah,
you're good, you're all good, everything's normal, but you don't
feel and unless you're your own advocate.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Well, there's so much medical gas lighting there.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
It's crazy, it's crazy. And she was saying that, like
most doctors will just be like, okay, here's you know,
maybe you shoutrain antidepressant and it's like that's not.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Such a progesterone or here's this right.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
You're not monitored regularly.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Right, and that's not necessarily like what they need in
that moment. What they need in that moment is because
it's so being a woman is so emotionally taxing, physically taxing.
And I had Sarah Hoover on who wrote the book Motherlaw.
Did you read it?
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I loved it so much. And there's no conversation about
anything postpartum. It's all about you read all these books
like to get you to the birth, but the birth
is always exactly the way.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And it's also in a hospital with you know, like,
these are the things and this is what you do,
and there's no conversation about like when you take the
baby home, even if you have help, even if you
have to do right. I was terrified when Ace came home.
And I was a preschool teacher for twelve years and
(23:13):
obsessed with babies, and you know, I had a loving
partner who was so involved, and he would speak to
me and I literally would look at him and be like,
I don't know why you're weighing in and he'd be like, well,
it's my child, and I'd be like, that is.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
That is a huge thing.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I totally understand in the It's just one of those
unfortunate things. Whether you have an amazing partner.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Or what yeah for the worst, Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Are useless right, And they don't know because they can
never It could never be like even if they're so
sensitive and kind and all the things, read a book like,
it doesn't matter. It's so like it's like primal almost well,
just a.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Mental load even on a day. I mean, I see
so many memes about it on Instagram. Yeah guys who
go like, you know, I saw few that we're talking about,
just the thought pattern of oh, I need to make snacks. Okay,
if I need to make snacks at this time, and
you know, just getting out of the house or through
a day, has she eaten?
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Did she have enough protein? Did you enough last night?
Is she sniffling?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
You know, all of the crazy crazy things that it
doesn't even no clock.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
It man, And when my husband goes to work, his
brain is on that, and like when I go to
work or when I do something, my brain is on
a thousand other things that all have to do with like,
oh wait, but is it's going to be picked up?
Jules has a game, you know, like all the things
and our brains are just going so quickly, and so
I think that that's amazing that you're going to start
(24:38):
this place where you can sort of come and get
the information that you need. If you don't want to
just do it in the way that like is written
out for you, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Well, and just again, it's all about having the information
or rights, all about having the information. If you want
to get vaccines if you don't, if you want to
homeschool your kid, if you want to take them to preschool,
if you want to get their ears pierced or not,
if you want to use cloth diapers.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Or you know whatever.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
So many people outside weigh in on so many people's decisions.
Oh you're going to give birth in a hospital. Oh
you're going to die. Oh you're going to give birth
at home. Oh you're going to die, right.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I don't want a bunch of opinions on what I'm doing.
I would like opinions if I'm asking for them from
the people that I'm asking them from. But you know,
I don't. I remember telling people I was having a
homebirth and the amount of people that looked at me like, well, what,
you're going to kill your baby, and just being like
I'm already, I don't.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
That's I don't need.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
That right ready? You know, I mean honestly, who does
need that? Like that's just like people are wild? But yeah,
I mean it's crazy. See, it's like we already have
enough going on in our minds, enough anxiety, enough doubt
as a human being.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
By the way, I sleep with I go sleep with Luetta,
and have I've not spent a night away.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
From her since she was born.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Maybe there have been I think maybe a two week
period when I was working on a film and just
straight up my nanny from when I was a little
girl was with me and took her out of my
bed because it was Arkansas in the middle of the summer,
and she was like, if you don't get some sleep
because I.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Had to pass out.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
So I ended up in the ear the first night
we were there from exhaustion.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
So she was like, you can't do it right than that, Like,
you know, and how old is Luetta?
Speaker 2 (26:44):
She'll be two in April.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I mean last night I literally had It's Kookie over
here right now.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Foster puppies. I'm sure one or both of them will end.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Up because in your home forever.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
But I literally had my cat, my dog, Dolores, Luetta
this new dog. We're still figuring out her name, but
she looks like a house cow. I'm just calling her
house cow right now. And then it's little puppy in
a kennel all in my room last night and I
was like, man, I'm really living my farm.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
You really, you really are. You're out of la for sure.
My seven year old sleeps with us every night.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, and you know, I know that.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I see all these moms who sleep train and do
all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
And by the.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Way, I did it and it didn't work. I mean
I did for the other two, but it really just
depends on who your kid is. Like my middle would
never if I get in his bed, he's like, I'm good, mom,
Like can you get out? You know, Like he's just
like he likes the space, is who he is. I
can lay there for like two seconds, scratches back and
he's like, okay done. Yeah. My youngest, like he just
(27:52):
is his attachment is different and it showed in a
different way, and like he needs to sleep with us,
and I know that about him, and I know it
won't last forever. You know, He's not going to be like.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
That's the thing. It's not.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
I mean, honestly, I hope lou like will still sleep
in bed with me when she's my age.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I still sleep in bed with my mom.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah yeah, And I think it's weird.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
We all still take baths together, my sisters and I.
And that's just the kind of house that I grew
up in. Right, people might think that that's crazy and weird,
but I don't because I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I always think about it.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Imagine if you took a like you had a baby
gorilla or a dog when it was two weeks old,
three months old, whatever, and had it sleep in a
different room than mom, Like, everyone would look at you
like you were crazy. But yet we're like, oh no,
that can sleep through the night.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Right, it's got a.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Fend for themselves. Yeah, I got to learn how to
self soothe. They can't even feed themselves, but they need
to figure out. By the way, we as adults don't
even know how to self soothe. I know, we think
about any situation that we have we call a friend.
People drink wine, people do drugs, people eat an entire
you know, tub of ice cream.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yeah, nobody has the nobody has like the magic sauce
of like how to self See.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Oh, we're not yeah too. We relate to people you.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Know, right, right, and so do you are you gonna
what's your plan if rumor has it?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Just to like, well the website.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
So I launched it already, but we're under construction right
now because there's gonna be a women's mother baby home
and men's section.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah. I love if there's a men's section.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, you know, I feel like the men.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah, It's just something I I've always loved curating. I've
always loved being a treasure hunter of cool and different things.
My goal is to really aim to have everything on
my website because it's something that I started getting really
persnickety about when I got pregnant to have an under
(30:02):
three rating on like the EWG app because I think
endocrine disruptors are one of the largest things affecting women's health,
especially reproductive health, and so much of that is in
fragrance and so much of our face products, shampoo, conditioner, perfume, candles,
(30:23):
and so I've been trying to work through. I had
to take a lot of stuff off the site because
I just felt like I couldn't, you know, I didn't
want to share something that I don't.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Use yourself use, Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
It's something I really pride myself on. Everything that's on
the site is something that I have in my home
and use myself.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I actually just saw like something on Instagram or something
that said that hair products are like the number one
and that it goes directly into your brain. Yeah. I
never I mean, I think I'm using the right hair.
I'm gonna like subscribe because I need to know.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
There's an at called Pink Dirty, and there's also one
called EWG and you just type in. I mean, I
don't really wear makeup. I don't put either.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I'm not even wearing any right now, which she feel
like is yeah, but I mean, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I like will occasionally get eyelash extensions. Obviously I dye
my hair, but yeah, which is probably not great.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
But you know, I mean I do the like Brazilian
of my hair, which is probably horrible, but I just
like need to not have like gross hair. My hair
got like weird curly after but it's like not curly
in a cute way. It's like curly and weird places
after I had kids, and I'm like, I just need
to shower and get out. I need to get my
three kids to school so much gray. Yeah, me too.
(31:47):
I've never colored it yet, but I need to. My
mom has like the perfect redhead sauce that comes to
her house, and I'm obsessed with her. So I like
know that I have when I need it. But I
sit in the carpool line and I like use a
tweezer and I pull them out, which is the worst
thing to do because then they just grow back.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And yeah, I felt like.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I see all of these ones on the top of
my head, and I'm like, is this breakage?
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Is this? But I have so much new.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Growth it ends up looking right. Well.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Also, you just had a baby, I mean you know,
so that is your hair is gonna.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah, because all this goes away when you have a kid.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, especially also with the breastfeeding. It just like took
everything out of me. But I loved it so much.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I know, it's funny. I'm at that point where it's
so convenient and easy and also sometimes I'm like, I
just want to sleep through the night.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah, I know it's a hard decision, but I remember.
I remember with Ace, I didn't have enough milk, and
then it was my second and my third I did.
But it's the same thing as like a home birth,
a hospital birth. It's like there's all this judgment around it.
And I always said to my friends because I really
loved it and I wanted to do it as long
as I could because I enjoyed it. It was something
(32:58):
that like it was something that I could do. But
if you give your kid formula, like great, if you
breastfeed your kid, great, whatever works for you. There's no
point in doing something that you can't do or that
is causing you like a mental strain, like yeah, do
whatever works for you. And I don't know, I don't
(33:20):
know if it's just I mean, I'm sure our parents
felt this too, but it just feels like there's it's
there's so much judgment now because it's everything is available
for discussion, or it wasn't before.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I'm really struggling with my Instagram is private, and everyone's like, well,
if you want to have like a big podcast, you
got to go public. And I'm really struggling with and
I'm like, well, the podcast is public, you know, like
that's a public account. But I'm really struggling with my
kids because like do I put them out there? Do
(33:53):
I not? You know, you do it's hard. And when
they're little, it's like they're just cute and they're funny.
But as they become like humans and they have their
I mean, they're still human when they're too, but they're no,
it's you know, like I don't want like the the
anxiety I have is like if someone judges my kids,
like I am not okay with that, Like I will
(34:15):
just fight with someone, you know, like.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
I'm like, I mean, I'm with you there, I think.
You know. Look, I didn't show Lutta's face for the
first year of for Life, and I didn't think that
I was going to, you know, and then I just thought,
I'm such an open person. I'm and I share so much,
Like it felt really hard for me to not share the.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Piece that I'm the most proud of. Yeah, but I
love the most, you know. It made me think so much.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
More about Instagram and maybe spend so much more time
figuring out how to do it as opposed to just
sharing myself in the way that I do.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
And so I, you know.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Made a decision, and I'm really grateful that I did.
At the end of the they the unfortunate reality is
because of who I am and because of who her
grandparents are. No matter what I do, are going to
have an opinion about her and about how I'm raising her,
(35:16):
what I'm doing. People get on me all the time
about that I'm still breastfeeding her, right and I feel
like as opposed to sheltering her.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I mean, obviously I'm not.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Going to push naked pictures of her now, of course,
of course, you know, But I think my more important
job as a mother is to give her the tools
to have such.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Unwavering confidence and value.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
That it doesn't matter what other people say. Because that
was was and still is some of my biggest challenge
right me too, No, even now, like I posted something
I can't remember the other day and I felt so
pretty and people were just coming at me so hard
and being about how I looked, about whether or not
(36:09):
I had a job and all of it, and you know,
that's just the reality. Unfortunately, that is just the world
that we live in. There's nothing I can do about it.
If at any point she says to me, I don't yeah,
of course, of course, you know, but you know, and again,
(36:30):
who knows, I'm not making any hard.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Just for right now, right now, right now, this is.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
What works and That's how I really also try and
hold most things for right now.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
This is what's working for us.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
You can always go back, yeah, and you could always
make a different choice, exactly. Yeah, that's something that I
am struggling with in this. But I mean, my private
has like four thousand people on it, so it's not
(37:04):
like it's like, you know, just my best friends. You know,
I just don't let anyone in. That's a complete stranger.
But like, I don't know, it's a very I noticed
because my parents did everything they could to instill in
me a sense of self and you know, my dad's
this day. It's like every time I do anything, like
(37:25):
if I'm like, you know what, I'm not gonna do
this anymore, I'm not gonna drink coke anymore, something dumb,
And then like one day we'll go by and say that, No,
I'll say it to him. I'll be like I'm not
gonna drink coke anymore, or something like whenever. This is
just an example, but like this is like this is
my life. So I'll be like I didn't you know,
If I say to my husband, like I didn't drink
(37:46):
any coke today, He's like, okay, great, Like make it
a week and we'll discuss. My Dad's like, you didn't
drink it today. You're amazing. You are incredible, you know,
like anything I do, if I like take a breath,
you know, and then I.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Like really silly that way I feel like, I mean,
I've never met yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
He's the most loving, Like he's just I can't explain.
He calls me like I put it. The other day,
I was giving a tour at my kids' school. He
called me seven times in a row and I called
him back and I was like, is everything okay? He's like, yeah,
I just had a quick question for Disney World. I
(38:24):
was like what, Like this is like what He's just
very very loving. My mom is also loving, but tough.
My mom is tough. So it's like they're.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Very you know, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
So it was like, you know, my mom and I
struggled to get along to me.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Yeah, it's like this, yeah, and remember, give me a
call back.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yeah, I love you. It's you.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Yeah, like as if we weren't sure, But so much
of my identity is in them, you know, Like so
much of my identity is you know, who my dad is.
And that was like what I that was how I
valued myself. It was like I knew that if like
(39:09):
somebody wasn't going to be nice to me, they'd be
nice to me once they saw him. And so like
I almost like the difference like when you would walk
into a restaurant by yourself and then they would walk
in after was like night and day, Like we don't
have a table, Oh my god, we have ten tables
here you go, you know, like, and I've.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Noticed it is definitely some mind.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah, maybe we should do a nepotism podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Maybe it's tough.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
And it's funny because if anyone hears you say it's tough,
they're like you.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
How dare you? Yeah? Oh my god, so spoiled.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
But it's interesting because there's a population of us that
only we can really understand certain aspects of what it's like.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
You can only relate because it's like you can try
to explain it. There's nothing you can really explain because
it's not just the things or the access, like the
it's the mental toll that it takes on you as
a person because you're just like, wait, am I enough?
Because two minutes ago I wasn't and now I am.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
By way, imagine you know, I've been going to the
Oscar parties with you know, my mom for years, and
there were years where I would walk by, even with her,
and people could not give I was so invisible and
I would leave feeling like, God, am I just like worthless?
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Am I?
Speaker 3 (40:36):
You know?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
And then it was just interesting this year. Obviously it
was so different.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
It was and everyone's like, oh, your mom, your mother,
and blah blah blah, and that can really no matter
how many tools do you have, that can really mess
with you, especially not only being a child of but
this being in my industry, like trying to also be
(41:02):
successful here and feeling like in a woman, Yeah, how
do I how do I navigate this in a way
that feels like I belong here?
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Right? My brother, you know, won't even like it's like
he he didn't. It's just like it's he's like nope,
I'm not even gonna you know, he doesn't. He won't
even engage in the conversation because everyone's like, you know,
trying to compare or even like there was this people
thing on Instagram that like, I think they look so
much alike, you know, and and then there were just
(41:32):
people ripping him apart. You know, like and just like,
no he doesn't look anything like him and no, no, no nepotism.
And I literally but this is where like I go.
I just started replying and then I'm like what do
I do? And like horrible things. I was like, who
are you you? This is a human being. And then
I'm like, wait, what am I doing? Why am I
(41:52):
engaging with these people? You know? But I'm so protective
over those that I love. Say whatever you want about me,
but like if you go after my brother, my dad,
my mom, you know, I'll lose my mind, my kids.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
But also just why, you know, why is that?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Someone said something about Luetta the other day on a
post there was they were like does she have down syndrome?
Speaker 2 (42:15):
And or or said something. And then there's another one
saying like something.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
About her being an ugly baby, and I just you know,
I I was speechless.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
I literally yeah, because it's so insane. But then you
realize people think it that that you have the right
to like, you know, I'm I'm so I'm always blown away.
And there's this definitely like a certain there's a certain
line that is just like and then you're just like
(42:46):
you don't have access to me just because you can't
say anything you want to me just because I'm I'm
in the public eye or you know. That's why that's
my fear.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Yeah, I mean, look, you can do something which I've done,
which I find helpful, which is that you can turn
off people's ability to comment if they don't follow you.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah, but you don't have just a bunch of random thoughts.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Or hater just in life. It's just crazy.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Well, I mean, look again, that's just yeah, in a
certain way, even though it sometimes is painful.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Like I don't read comments. Now there's a Daily Mail
article I do. I do not read the comments anymore.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
Right, two times when I was little, like right, God knows,
I'm shocked that I like, didn't.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
You know what I mean, like crazy? You know, I know,
adult's crazy, don't saying too Yeah, seen year old kid, Yeah,
being like crazy, you're so ugly, you look like a man.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
And I'm literally like they must be right, right, you know,
And I walking through the world like that. I'm honestly, I.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
Don't know if I would have made it through social
media if I was me.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Neither not ever I worry about that. Ace just got
it my thirteen year old. But I just got him
Instagram and we have rules on it and he's private
and he had to like earn it. But he was
the last of his friends. And I'm terrified also like
just being like left out of a party, which is
like part of life, you know.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
I think that's why I'm literally going to become one
of those like crazy people who just has like a
flip phone, no, like a commune with oh yeah, home
schooling and well, let.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Me know and I'll come.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Yeah, I'm you know, I just.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
The idea for having a cell phone or social media.
And mind you, I have two sisters that are, oh
my god, thirteen and eleven now, which is crazy, and
the idea of lou having a phone at eleven or
have I mean, we don't do iPads in this house.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
The contraband pads are so bad. Yeah, And they say
that it's going to be like the smoking of our generation,
our parents generation like that, you know, especially for like
my kids who grew up in the pandemic, like they
had to have them. That's how they did school, that's
they did, you know, and that I noticed. I mean,
it's that's a whole other that's a whole other huge.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, I won't do it.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
I mean I even noticed in the last like month
or two of even letting her watch you know, some
Disney that's the only thing we watch. I used to say,
no movies even, and then of course she would go
to her yeah Yah's house and all the contraband all
that's their.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Job, you know.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
And so now he's like Molana Moana.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
And I tried to turn it off the other day
and she yelled at me, and I was like, nope,
we're hiatus.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, yeah, well you're amazing because I definitely turn on
the movies. My thirteen year old is watching Arrested Development
right now. It's just so funny. He loves it. He
like watches it. Me and Rob and Ace watch it
at night after the other gets a bed. Well, thank
you so much for doing this. You're the best.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Yeah, my pleasure.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
I'm really grateful that we got to talk you too.
It was so fun and I wish you the best
of luck with rumor has it. I'm so excited. Thank you, Hie,
thank you so much for joining me on another episode
of What in the Winkler. Please tell a friend like it,
follow it and i'll see you next week.
You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi,
and welcome back to another episode of What in the Winkler.
Today's guest is Rumor Willis. She is an American actress.
She is also the eldest daughters of Bruce Willis and
Demi Moore, so we are both daughters of She is
a incredibly talented actress. She has been on Broadway. She
(00:25):
is an incredible dancer. And I'm so excited she's here.
Let's let her in. Hi, Hi, thank you so much
for doing this. I'm really grateful. I started this podcast
in our first episode aired on Halloween, so it's really new,
and it was supposed to be me and my mom.
(00:47):
She's wild and insane and the best. But she got
really sick and so she has not so literally she
did two episodes with me and then was in the
hospital basically until like a month ago or two weeks ago.
So and she's totally fine. She's made like a huge recovery,
which is like crazy and incredible and a miracle. But
(01:10):
so I've been doing it on my own and which
has been great. But like I was a teacher for
twelve years, like I'm a mom, I have a nonprofit,
like this was just like this is something new, so
thanks for doing it.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh my god, my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
It's I'm trying to I'm in the process of starting
one as well, and it's kind of like trying to
figure out it all out.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, it's wild, and then they change, you know, it changes,
and you know. The craziest thing is like just keeping
a conversation going, like when it's obviously like we don't
have this problem, but sometimes it's like okay, like is
this conversation and then it works. It just like it
seems to be like interesting and fun. What's yours going
(01:53):
to be about?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I'm still kind of trying to figure that out because
I have I have my company Rumor has It, and
so I'm trying to figure out if I want it
to be separate of that and just call it Rumor
has It, or if I want something that's like totally different.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Actually, I have a crazy story about this. I got
a call from my kids' school and I volunteer there
all the time, like I'm a cue, and they were
like a package came for you, and I was like, oh,
just open it, like I'm sure it's something for the
classroom whatever, and I got a picture from the head
of the elementary school, who thank god I love, with
(02:31):
her holding spicy cubes in her hand, and she was like,
what is this? What classes this for? And I was
like I want to die, like I would rather have
like my you know, like I just I died. And
she was like, you have to come get them, and
I was like, throw them in the trash. I never
want to see them again. I refuse to come to
your office and pick up my spicy cubes.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was sae, but like is it a nice cube?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
And now because now I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Like I want to order this.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I know it's like this little cube and you're supposed
to put it in your coffee in the morning. So
I'll report back. I'll let you know how they worked.
So you are also an actress.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, I mean you know it's as a also nepo baby,
like it's it's there's so much weird stuff that comes
with it because everybody's always like it must be so
hard in the shadow of your parents, and I'm like,
but that's not really the shadow that I'm in. Like, right,
if I'm not talented, then it doesn't matter, right, Like
(03:34):
if I can't act or I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Especially like in the arts, like matter. Why it's funny
because I was Kate Hudson is a good friend of
mine and our kids are best friends. And I was
watching an interview with her because I was like watching
her new show and she was somebody of course was
saying like that ba baby, and she was like, in
the arts it doesn't matter because yeah, I can get
your foot in the door, but if you're not talented,
no one's gonna watch you. Yeah, no one cares. It's
(03:59):
such an intesting conversation, like the NEPO baby world. Because
obviously you have two famous parents. I have one, although
I think my mom is more famous because she's just,
you know, amazing and insane, but in a very different circle.
And I don't know. For me, it was obviously it's
amazing and it comes with so many perks and privilege
(04:24):
and all the things. But like I felt, and I
don't know your family, but you guys seem super close.
And I have two brothers and more super close. And
when people would ask me, like, what's it like growing
up with your dad? I would literally not know how
to answer, because to me, he was just a normal dad.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I think that there's this idea that my sisters and
I call it like a narpy, like not a real person,
that I think that people have this idea that if
you're famous, and I think, especially obviously, there was a
different era that I think of movie stars, right, and.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
We talk about that all the time, there weren't that many.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
There weren't that many, right, and you know, and even
your dad likes, there's people that are so iconic, right,
that kind of transcend the project that they were working on.
And I think that that doesn't happen anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And so.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
It's just a different era, right, And nowadays, I think
there just wasn't access in the way that there is now.
People weren't doing podcasts, we didn't have Instagram. People weren't
sharing our lives the way that all of us do now.
And so I think, yeah, but like it's just my dad, And.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
It's like I think when I say that, sometimes people
look at me like I'm being slippant or rude or bitchy,
and I'm like, no, I'm just saying like because in
my answer would always be like, especially when I went
to college, I'd be like, well, well, what was like
with your parents? You know when I realized, But to
me it felt so normal. I now realize that, you know,
as as an adult. It's there are parts of it
(06:10):
that are not normal but normal to us. That's right,
thing normal to us?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Right, Like someone used to say, well, what was it
like growing up with famous parents? And it's like, well,
I don't know, because I don't I don't know anything
different than.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That, and I don't know them like that.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, and I have nothing really to compare it to. Right,
you know, my normal was I didn't go to a
full year of school until fifth grade because we were
traveling on set, you know. And there's obviously certain things
that my basic math is not great. But you know,
I got to go to really cool glass blowing museums
(06:49):
in the Czech Republic, you know, and weird cool experiences.
But I don't know, I think I think generally, I
think think it's I find it not annoying, because you know,
God love people. They are only doing as the best
that they can. But I find it frustrating sometimes when
(07:12):
that is the leading question of so what was it
like or how how must that have been? I can't
even imagine what your life is because in a lot
of ways, our lives are just like everybody else's. Most
parents were frustrated with you or you're worried about disappointing
them where you you know, if you don't finish your homework,
(07:34):
or your mean to your siblings. Right, like a lot
of the same.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Right. It's funny because also we grew up in a time.
I mean, I know you're younger than me, but where
like if you were out and somebody was taking your
there was the paparazzi was totally different, and like our
family role was like we were not to be in pictures,
same the kids, and like they respected that that was
something that you know that there there was an unspoken
(07:59):
or actually i've spoken, like agreement that we would never
be in pictures. And I never wanted to be an
actress because I just like, I don't know, I went
the opposite. But my brother Max is like a director
and a writer and married an actress, and you know,
like so it's like and my older brother was a
manager for a long time. Now he's in music, but
(08:21):
like they both went into that world. And I I
really believe that part of why it didn't was because
I was so I had like this like insecurity where
I would like try to like prove to other people
that I was normal instead of just kind of like
being myself. And I wished that I had like I
(08:43):
don't know, I wished that I had just like been
who I was and done what I had wanted to do,
or you know what I mean. Like it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well I think it's challenging too, and I'm still working
on this at you know, I'm gone thirty seven this year,
so yeah, is and I feel so old, which is
what's so crazy, you know, have a few more kids
to have and then go for it, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I think. I I think when you grow up.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
With a certain amount of privilege, both perceived and real, right,
I felt as a recovering people pleaser, even from a
very young age.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I felt this need to prove how.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I wasn't what everyone thought that I was.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I cannot tell you how much I relate, right, And
it's not like I was.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We weren't.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
We didn't weren't handed credit cards as kids. We weren't
running around you know, having shoppings like.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Free for alls, right, right.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
We still had you know, obviously had privilege that way,
but not in this kind of over consumption, irresponsible kind.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Of way that I think a lot of people perceive.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But walking into any room, I felt this. The pressure
and the shadow that I felt actually wasn't from my parents' talent.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
It was from the privilege.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I don't deserve to be here because I haven't earned
it and I don't like I've always had an issue with,
especially being an actor, the amount of attention I was
getting in relation to the amount of work that I
was doing, you know, right where if you're this unknown
actress and then you become known because of your talent
(10:34):
and the work that you're doing, that to me was
always something that I craved but obviously couldn't have because.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
You already had the attention.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, the attention was that you know.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
That I look awkward and my face is too large
for my body, and I'm you know, when I'm sixteen
years old and I'm like a little heavier in trying
to figure.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Out like you know, puberty and all of that.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
But how amazing that you still did it like that,
that that attention sent me into like I couldn't. I
couldn't handle it, you know, I like literally couldn't. I couldn't.
It was too much. I was too I'm too sensitive,
I'm too like. And also what I always talk about
is like that you walked into a room or I
walked into a room, and we ever the people were
(11:21):
strangers to us, but to but to them, they knew,
they thought they knew everything about us. Yeah, And what
a up like position that is, because you're never on
equal ground ground, you know, and you're not like starting fresh,
like hey, I'm Zoe.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
A thousand percent. Yeah. I think you know.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I think that is the thing that I feel like
I fight against all the time is just before I
walk into a room, there's already an assumption. And what
I used to get when you still could go into
a casting office.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
For an audition.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Was these are my favorites. God, you're so much prettier
in person, which is to me such.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
An insane thing.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Say. It's basically just saying you're not photogenic.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, and you're like, oh.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Thank you, and got you're you're so much nicer or
like you're at all what I expected. And I think
in my twenties that used to bother me. Now I'm like,
you know, whatever, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I think I feel like I've I feel like I've
made enough of.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Uh maybe not as maybe I don't think that i've.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Don't you paid your dues?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yeah, yeah, right not.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
That's what happens when you have a child and you're
still breastfeeding. I feel like you can't remember and you
just start stuttering, I know.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
And then when you get to forty four, you're like
impairing menopause and you also get just.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
It would go this long where you're just like crazy.
I feel like there's still so much more I have
to do in terms of my acting career, and I
feel like people still don't quite know where to place me,
you know, because I really did myself a wildest service
(13:22):
in my twenties, and I had this justin Bieber short
jet black haircut, and I had all these tattoos and piercings,
and I remember my mom looking at me and going,
you know, you really should think about just dressing a
little bit more feminine, and.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Maybe not so.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
In one style because people are going to put you
into a box.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I said, no, they're not.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Meanwhile, here I am.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
For the majority of my twenties, the only roles I
got were a lesbian, a drug addict, someone who had
been sexually or emotionally abused.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
You know, I think I.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Did my first period piece, like my first western literally
last year, and I.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Was like, finally, yes I can I can dress like
a girl. Guys.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Yeah, you know I could do it all.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, I feel like I'm still in this place where
I'm just not that I'm waiting to be given a chance,
but I'm I'm I'm hungry for the opportunity to find
a piece to show what I can do, because I
do think that I'm without sounding egotistical or cocky, like,
(14:37):
I do think that I have a talent for it
and a love for it and want to be able
to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
You know, your sisters also do the same thing you do,
or not really.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Scout is kind of dipping her toe in the water
right now, but mainly focused on music and tulula kind of,
you know, she dances around it sometimes.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
And are you the oldest?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I am oldest of five girls.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
That's crazy, that's so I mean, that's so fun. There's no,
it's just all girls.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I have posterone. It's insane.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I cannot imagine. You know, I have three boys, and
I grew up with two brothers, so like I never
had a sister, but the sister relationship. My husband has
three sisters, and their relationship is like so incredible, you know,
because it's just it's such a I mean, it's such
a unique experience. And if you don't have it, I
mean I have girlfriends and I'm super close to them,
(15:41):
but like having sisters just seems like such a a
wonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
It's really cool.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I mean they you absolutely bonkers and they're my best friends,
you know. Yeah, And they were there when I gave
birth to my daughter in my house, you know, they
like they were right there with me.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Couldn't have met anyone.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
So you did a home birth?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And did you? Was it everything you wanted?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
And you know, next time I do it, there's so
much more even that I would do differently and be
more I guess self sufficient the word. But when you
allow yourself to space obviously given the circumstances, if you
(16:27):
have you know, not a high risk birth, et cetera,
or pregnancy. I mean, it was incredible, It was amazing,
and I've never felt more capable or empowered in my
entire life.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I was the opposite. I was like to the point
where they like sent me home twice because I was like,
I need to be there at a certain time at
the hospital. I need the epidural. And then my first one,
I was sent home twice, but I'm like the most
anxious person you'll ever meet. And then my third literally
I had him in a in a closet at Cedars
(17:00):
because there were no rooms available, and he was so
and he flew out and I was like, oh my gosh,
is he okay? Like did I need any switches? Like
is he? Like? Is he okay? Because he came out
so fast and he was like, of course, like eight
or nine pounds. But I was just my body was ready. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Once the first one, and this might sound crude, but
like truly, once the first one stretches you out like.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
And also like your body just knows what to do. Yeah,
It's like everything happens so differently with the second and
the third, and and it's it's I loved giving birth
and I did it differently than you, and I still
loved it, you know, like I feel like however you
do it is. So it's just such an incredible experience.
And then there's this like moment where it's just you guys,
(17:44):
you know, and it was such a special thing.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I but I bet I have so many feelings on
the whole kind of medical birth industry. But I think
for me, the biggest goal of what I'm trying to
create for women, especially with rumor has it, is an
ability to be informed, because I think it's severely lacking
informed consent is lacking having all the options. If you
(18:12):
walked up, given all of the options and said, you
know what I want to be on my back, give
me an epidural in a hospital, then and that's what
makes you feel the most comfortable, and you know all
of the like risk side effects blah blah blah, then great,
going right, do that. But I think for I didn't
know any There's just so many things.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
There wasn't even a conversation really, And this was thirteen
years ago, and I gave a birth plan and they
were like, you know, and I had to repeat the
birth plan over and over and over and over and
over again, you know, like I didn't want the baby
going anywhere without me. I didn't want and it was
like a constant Do you know Carson Meyer at all?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, just one of my good friends Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
So Sarah is one of my best friends, her older sister. Okay, cool,
And she was just telling me that Carson just wrote
a book and and like, Carson is such a wealth
of information that didn't exist when I was having babies
thirteen years ago, you know, oh.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
One thousand percent. And look even and a lot of
people again don't have the privilege to have access to
that totally right yond, I had my doula is who
taught Carson, and so I had her name's Lori Bregman, and.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
She was mine.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah, I love with my third.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
She helped me with all three, but she was in
the room with my third. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
She's incredible, the best, the best and witchy and wonderful.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
You know, she helped me find my midwife and without
her like she I credit her so much for the
confidence that I was able to have in my birthing
situation because my mom was very nervous because the only
her home birth that she had been to was when
she was pregnant with me and it did not end well, right,
(19:54):
you know, so again there's just not access. So that's
ideally what I want to create is the next kind
of step of rumor has it once I kind of
get it launched more formally, is having a community centered
space that is really focused on.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Answering questions for women?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Is this normal because you can google a thousand things
or find resources, or if you can't get a hold
of your OB on the weekend, maybe there's an article
that you know can help you. If I used to
get and I'm a very anxious person as well, if
I couldn't feel lou kick me, I would freak out,
and all of a sudden, I was like, oh my gosh,
(20:38):
something's happened to her. She's dead, like you know, and
would go on this spiral and ended up going into
you know, the OB's office a couple of times to
get scanned when I probably didn't need to write.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
And so I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I just I think that there's so many conversations that
aren't had or people find and inappropriate to have about
breastfeeding or your vagina or you know, menopause. Like there's
such a deficit for conversations around women's mental health, physical health,
sexual health.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
It is baffling to me.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
It's crazy. I was actually at a dinner last week
at Tuscana with a bunch of women that I love
and we're all very different, and we were talking about
we're all in our forties and we were talking about
hormones and like that there's zero I don't know anything
except for that. I was terrified that hormones, like you know,
(21:37):
caused cancer or whatever. And people were saying that, like,
but I have no information. And my friend was saying
that really the only place to even get proper hormone
care right now is on telehealth because the doctors are yeah,
and I was like, wait, what this can't make this
can't be. But you know, if you test your hormones
(21:58):
in that minute, to me, they're different, so you don't
get everyone will say like a doctor will say like, yeah,
you're good, you're all good, everything's normal, but you don't
feel and unless you're your own advocate.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Well, there's so much medical gas lighting there.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
It's crazy, it's crazy. And she was saying that, like
most doctors will just be like, okay, here's you know,
maybe you shoutrain antidepressant and it's like that's not.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Such a progesterone or here's this right.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
You're not monitored regularly.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Right, and that's not necessarily like what they need in
that moment. What they need in that moment is because
it's so being a woman is so emotionally taxing, physically taxing.
And I had Sarah Hoover on who wrote the book Motherlaw.
Did you read it?
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I loved it so much. And there's no conversation about
anything postpartum. It's all about you read all these books
like to get you to the birth, but the birth
is always exactly the way.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And it's also in a hospital with you know, like,
these are the things and this is what you do,
and there's no conversation about like when you take the
baby home, even if you have help, even if you
have to do right. I was terrified when Ace came home.
And I was a preschool teacher for twelve years and
(23:13):
obsessed with babies, and you know, I had a loving
partner who was so involved, and he would speak to
me and I literally would look at him and be like,
I don't know why you're weighing in and he'd be like, well,
it's my child, and I'd be like, that is.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
That is a huge thing.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I totally understand in the It's just one of those
unfortunate things. Whether you have an amazing partner.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Or what yeah for the worst, Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Are useless right, And they don't know because they can
never It could never be like even if they're so
sensitive and kind and all the things, read a book like,
it doesn't matter. It's so like it's like primal almost well,
just a.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Mental load even on a day. I mean, I see
so many memes about it on Instagram. Yeah guys who
go like, you know, I saw few that we're talking about,
just the thought pattern of oh, I need to make snacks. Okay,
if I need to make snacks at this time, and
you know, just getting out of the house or through
a day, has she eaten?
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Did she have enough protein? Did you enough last night?
Is she sniffling?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
You know, all of the crazy crazy things that it
doesn't even no clock.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
It man, And when my husband goes to work, his
brain is on that, and like when I go to
work or when I do something, my brain is on
a thousand other things that all have to do with like,
oh wait, but is it's going to be picked up?
Jules has a game, you know, like all the things
and our brains are just going so quickly, and so
I think that that's amazing that you're going to start
(24:38):
this place where you can sort of come and get
the information that you need. If you don't want to
just do it in the way that like is written
out for you, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Well, and just again, it's all about having the information
or rights, all about having the information. If you want
to get vaccines if you don't, if you want to
homeschool your kid, if you want to take them to preschool,
if you want to get their ears pierced or not,
if you want to use cloth diapers.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Or you know whatever.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
So many people outside weigh in on so many people's decisions.
Oh you're going to give birth in a hospital. Oh
you're going to die. Oh you're going to give birth
at home. Oh you're going to die, right.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I don't want a bunch of opinions on what I'm doing.
I would like opinions if I'm asking for them from
the people that I'm asking them from. But you know,
I don't. I remember telling people I was having a
homebirth and the amount of people that looked at me like, well, what,
you're going to kill your baby, and just being like
I'm already, I don't.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
That's I don't need.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
That right ready? You know, I mean honestly, who does
need that? Like that's just like people are wild? But yeah,
I mean it's crazy. See, it's like we already have
enough going on in our minds, enough anxiety, enough doubt
as a human being.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
By the way, I sleep with I go sleep with Luetta,
and have I've not spent a night away.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
From her since she was born.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Maybe there have been I think maybe a two week
period when I was working on a film and just
straight up my nanny from when I was a little
girl was with me and took her out of my
bed because it was Arkansas in the middle of the summer,
and she was like, if you don't get some sleep
because I.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Had to pass out.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
So I ended up in the ear the first night
we were there from exhaustion.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
So she was like, you can't do it right than that, Like,
you know, and how old is Luetta?
Speaker 2 (26:44):
She'll be two in April.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I mean last night I literally had It's Kookie over
here right now.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Foster puppies. I'm sure one or both of them will end.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Up because in your home forever.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
But I literally had my cat, my dog, Dolores, Luetta
this new dog. We're still figuring out her name, but
she looks like a house cow. I'm just calling her
house cow right now. And then it's little puppy in
a kennel all in my room last night and I
was like, man, I'm really living my farm.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
You really, you really are. You're out of la for sure.
My seven year old sleeps with us every night.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, and you know, I know that.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I see all these moms who sleep train and do
all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
And by the.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Way, I did it and it didn't work. I mean
I did for the other two, but it really just
depends on who your kid is. Like my middle would
never if I get in his bed, he's like, I'm good, mom,
Like can you get out? You know, Like he's just
like he likes the space, is who he is. I
can lay there for like two seconds, scratches back and
he's like, okay done. Yeah. My youngest, like he just
(27:52):
is his attachment is different and it showed in a
different way, and like he needs to sleep with us,
and I know that about him, and I know it
won't last forever. You know, He's not going to be like.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
That's the thing. It's not.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
I mean, honestly, I hope lou like will still sleep
in bed with me when she's my age.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I still sleep in bed with my mom.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah yeah, And I think it's weird.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
We all still take baths together, my sisters and I.
And that's just the kind of house that I grew
up in. Right, people might think that that's crazy and weird,
but I don't because I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I always think about it.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Imagine if you took a like you had a baby
gorilla or a dog when it was two weeks old,
three months old, whatever, and had it sleep in a
different room than mom, Like, everyone would look at you
like you were crazy. But yet we're like, oh no,
that can sleep through the night.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Right, it's got a.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Fend for themselves. Yeah, I got to learn how to
self soothe. They can't even feed themselves, but they need
to figure out. By the way, we as adults don't
even know how to self soothe. I know, we think
about any situation that we have we call a friend.
People drink wine, people do drugs, people eat an entire
you know, tub of ice cream.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yeah, nobody has the nobody has like the magic sauce
of like how to self See.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Oh, we're not yeah too. We relate to people you.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Know, right, right, and so do you are you gonna
what's your plan if rumor has it?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Just to like, well the website.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
So I launched it already, but we're under construction right
now because there's gonna be a women's mother baby home
and men's section.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah. I love if there's a men's section.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, you know, I feel like the men.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah, It's just something I I've always loved curating. I've
always loved being a treasure hunter of cool and different things.
My goal is to really aim to have everything on
my website because it's something that I started getting really
persnickety about when I got pregnant to have an under
(30:02):
three rating on like the EWG app because I think
endocrine disruptors are one of the largest things affecting women's health,
especially reproductive health, and so much of that is in
fragrance and so much of our face products, shampoo, conditioner, perfume, candles,
(30:23):
and so I've been trying to work through. I had
to take a lot of stuff off the site because
I just felt like I couldn't, you know, I didn't
want to share something that I don't.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Use yourself use, Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
It's something I really pride myself on. Everything that's on
the site is something that I have in my home
and use myself.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I actually just saw like something on Instagram or something
that said that hair products are like the number one
and that it goes directly into your brain. Yeah. I
never I mean, I think I'm using the right hair.
I'm gonna like subscribe because I need to know.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
There's an at called Pink Dirty, and there's also one
called EWG and you just type in. I mean, I
don't really wear makeup. I don't put either.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I'm not even wearing any right now, which she feel
like is yeah, but I mean, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I like will occasionally get eyelash extensions. Obviously I dye
my hair, but yeah, which is probably not great.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
But you know, I mean I do the like Brazilian
of my hair, which is probably horrible, but I just
like need to not have like gross hair. My hair
got like weird curly after but it's like not curly
in a cute way. It's like curly and weird places
after I had kids, and I'm like, I just need
to shower and get out. I need to get my
three kids to school so much gray. Yeah, me too.
(31:47):
I've never colored it yet, but I need to. My
mom has like the perfect redhead sauce that comes to
her house, and I'm obsessed with her. So I like
know that I have when I need it. But I
sit in the carpool line and I like use a
tweezer and I pull them out, which is the worst
thing to do because then they just grow back.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And yeah, I felt like.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I see all of these ones on the top of
my head, and I'm like, is this breakage?
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Is this? But I have so much new.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Growth it ends up looking right. Well.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Also, you just had a baby, I mean you know,
so that is your hair is gonna.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah, because all this goes away when you have a kid.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, especially also with the breastfeeding. It just like took
everything out of me. But I loved it so much.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I know, it's funny. I'm at that point where it's
so convenient and easy and also sometimes I'm like, I
just want to sleep through the night.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah, I know it's a hard decision, but I remember.
I remember with Ace, I didn't have enough milk, and
then it was my second and my third I did.
But it's the same thing as like a home birth,
a hospital birth. It's like there's all this judgment around it.
And I always said to my friends because I really
loved it and I wanted to do it as long
as I could because I enjoyed it. It was something
(32:58):
that like it was something that I could do. But
if you give your kid formula, like great, if you
breastfeed your kid, great, whatever works for you. There's no
point in doing something that you can't do or that
is causing you like a mental strain, like yeah, do
whatever works for you. And I don't know, I don't
(33:20):
know if it's just I mean, I'm sure our parents
felt this too, but it just feels like there's it's
there's so much judgment now because it's everything is available
for discussion, or it wasn't before.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I'm really struggling with my Instagram is private, and everyone's like, well,
if you want to have like a big podcast, you
got to go public. And I'm really struggling with and
I'm like, well, the podcast is public, you know, like
that's a public account. But I'm really struggling with my
kids because like do I put them out there? Do
(33:53):
I not? You know, you do it's hard. And when
they're little, it's like they're just cute and they're funny.
But as they become like humans and they have their
I mean, they're still human when they're too, but they're no,
it's you know, like I don't want like the the
anxiety I have is like if someone judges my kids,
like I am not okay with that, Like I will
(34:15):
just fight with someone, you know, like.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
I'm like, I mean, I'm with you there, I think.
You know. Look, I didn't show Lutta's face for the
first year of for Life, and I didn't think that
I was going to, you know, and then I just thought,
I'm such an open person. I'm and I share so much,
Like it felt really hard for me to not share the.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Piece that I'm the most proud of. Yeah, but I
love the most, you know. It made me think so much.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
More about Instagram and maybe spend so much more time
figuring out how to do it as opposed to just
sharing myself in the way that I do.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
And so I, you know.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Made a decision, and I'm really grateful that I did.
At the end of the they the unfortunate reality is
because of who I am and because of who her
grandparents are. No matter what I do, are going to
have an opinion about her and about how I'm raising her,
(35:16):
what I'm doing. People get on me all the time
about that I'm still breastfeeding her, right and I feel
like as opposed to sheltering her.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I mean, obviously I'm not.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Going to push naked pictures of her now, of course,
of course, you know, But I think my more important
job as a mother is to give her the tools
to have such.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Unwavering confidence and value.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
That it doesn't matter what other people say. Because that
was was and still is some of my biggest challenge
right me too, No, even now, like I posted something
I can't remember the other day and I felt so
pretty and people were just coming at me so hard
and being about how I looked, about whether or not
(36:09):
I had a job and all of it, and you know,
that's just the reality. Unfortunately, that is just the world
that we live in. There's nothing I can do about it.
If at any point she says to me, I don't yeah,
of course, of course, you know, but you know, and again,
(36:30):
who knows, I'm not making any hard.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Just for right now, right now, right now, this is.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
What works and That's how I really also try and
hold most things for right now.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
This is what's working for us.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
You can always go back, yeah, and you could always
make a different choice, exactly. Yeah, that's something that I
am struggling with in this. But I mean, my private
has like four thousand people on it, so it's not
(37:04):
like it's like, you know, just my best friends. You know,
I just don't let anyone in. That's a complete stranger.
But like, I don't know, it's a very I noticed
because my parents did everything they could to instill in
me a sense of self and you know, my dad's
this day. It's like every time I do anything, like
(37:25):
if I'm like, you know what, I'm not gonna do
this anymore, I'm not gonna drink coke anymore, something dumb,
And then like one day we'll go by and say that, No,
I'll say it to him. I'll be like I'm not
gonna drink coke anymore, or something like whenever. This is
just an example, but like this is like this is
my life. So I'll be like I didn't you know,
If I say to my husband, like I didn't drink
(37:46):
any coke today, He's like, okay, great, Like make it
a week and we'll discuss. My Dad's like, you didn't
drink it today. You're amazing. You are incredible, you know,
like anything I do, if I like take a breath,
you know, and then I.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Like really silly that way I feel like, I mean,
I've never met yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
He's the most loving, Like he's just I can't explain.
He calls me like I put it. The other day,
I was giving a tour at my kids' school. He
called me seven times in a row and I called
him back and I was like, is everything okay? He's like, yeah,
I just had a quick question for Disney World. I
(38:24):
was like what, Like this is like what He's just
very very loving. My mom is also loving, but tough.
My mom is tough. So it's like they're.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Very you know, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
So it was like, you know, my mom and I
struggled to get along to me.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Yeah, it's like this, yeah, and remember, give me a
call back.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yeah, I love you. It's you.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Yeah, like as if we weren't sure, But so much
of my identity is in them, you know, Like so
much of my identity is you know, who my dad is.
And that was like what I that was how I
valued myself. It was like I knew that if like
(39:09):
somebody wasn't going to be nice to me, they'd be
nice to me once they saw him. And so like
I almost like the difference like when you would walk
into a restaurant by yourself and then they would walk
in after was like night and day, Like we don't
have a table, Oh my god, we have ten tables
here you go, you know, like, and I've.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Noticed it is definitely some mind.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah, maybe we should do a nepotism podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Maybe it's tough.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
And it's funny because if anyone hears you say it's tough,
they're like you.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
How dare you? Yeah? Oh my god, so spoiled.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
But it's interesting because there's a population of us that
only we can really understand certain aspects of what it's like.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
You can only relate because it's like you can try
to explain it. There's nothing you can really explain because
it's not just the things or the access, like the
it's the mental toll that it takes on you as
a person because you're just like, wait, am I enough?
Because two minutes ago I wasn't and now I am.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
By way, imagine you know, I've been going to the
Oscar parties with you know, my mom for years, and
there were years where I would walk by, even with her,
and people could not give I was so invisible and
I would leave feeling like, God, am I just like worthless?
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Am I?
Speaker 3 (40:36):
You know?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
And then it was just interesting this year. Obviously it
was so different.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
It was and everyone's like, oh, your mom, your mother,
and blah blah blah, and that can really no matter
how many tools do you have, that can really mess
with you, especially not only being a child of but
this being in my industry, like trying to also be
(41:02):
successful here and feeling like in a woman, Yeah, how
do I how do I navigate this in a way
that feels like I belong here?
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Right? My brother, you know, won't even like it's like
he he didn't. It's just like it's he's like nope,
I'm not even gonna you know, he doesn't. He won't
even engage in the conversation because everyone's like, you know,
trying to compare or even like there was this people
thing on Instagram that like, I think they look so
much alike, you know, and and then there were just
(41:32):
people ripping him apart. You know, like and just like,
no he doesn't look anything like him and no, no, no nepotism.
And I literally but this is where like I go.
I just started replying and then I'm like what do
I do? And like horrible things. I was like, who
are you you? This is a human being. And then
I'm like, wait, what am I doing? Why am I
(41:52):
engaging with these people? You know? But I'm so protective
over those that I love. Say whatever you want about me,
but like if you go after my brother, my dad,
my mom, you know, I'll lose my mind, my kids.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
But also just why, you know, why is that?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Someone said something about Luetta the other day on a
post there was they were like does she have down syndrome?
Speaker 2 (42:15):
And or or said something. And then there's another one
saying like something.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
About her being an ugly baby, and I just you know,
I I was speechless.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
I literally yeah, because it's so insane. But then you
realize people think it that that you have the right
to like, you know, I'm I'm so I'm always blown away.
And there's this definitely like a certain there's a certain
line that is just like and then you're just like
(42:46):
you don't have access to me just because you can't
say anything you want to me just because I'm I'm
in the public eye or you know. That's why that's
my fear.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Yeah, I mean, look, you can do something which I've done,
which I find helpful, which is that you can turn
off people's ability to comment if they don't follow you.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah, but you don't have just a bunch of random thoughts.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Or hater just in life. It's just crazy.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Well, I mean, look again, that's just yeah, in a
certain way, even though it sometimes is painful.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Like I don't read comments. Now there's a Daily Mail
article I do. I do not read the comments anymore.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
Right, two times when I was little, like right, God knows,
I'm shocked that I like, didn't.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
You know what I mean, like crazy? You know, I know,
adult's crazy, don't saying too Yeah, seen year old kid, Yeah,
being like crazy, you're so ugly, you look like a man.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
And I'm literally like they must be right, right, you know,
And I walking through the world like that. I'm honestly, I.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
Don't know if I would have made it through social
media if I was me.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Neither not ever I worry about that. Ace just got
it my thirteen year old. But I just got him
Instagram and we have rules on it and he's private
and he had to like earn it. But he was
the last of his friends. And I'm terrified also like
just being like left out of a party, which is
like part of life, you know.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
I think that's why I'm literally going to become one
of those like crazy people who just has like a
flip phone, no, like a commune with oh yeah, home
schooling and well, let.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Me know and I'll come.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Yeah, I'm you know, I just.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
The idea for having a cell phone or social media.
And mind you, I have two sisters that are, oh
my god, thirteen and eleven now, which is crazy, and
the idea of lou having a phone at eleven or
have I mean, we don't do iPads in this house.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
The contraband pads are so bad. Yeah, And they say
that it's going to be like the smoking of our generation,
our parents generation like that, you know, especially for like
my kids who grew up in the pandemic, like they
had to have them. That's how they did school, that's
they did, you know, and that I noticed. I mean,
it's that's a whole other that's a whole other huge.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, I won't do it.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
I mean I even noticed in the last like month
or two of even letting her watch you know, some
Disney that's the only thing we watch. I used to say,
no movies even, and then of course she would go
to her yeah Yah's house and all the contraband all
that's their.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Job, you know.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
And so now he's like Molana Moana.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
And I tried to turn it off the other day
and she yelled at me, and I was like, nope,
we're hiatus.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, yeah, well you're amazing because I definitely turn on
the movies. My thirteen year old is watching Arrested Development
right now. It's just so funny. He loves it. He
like watches it. Me and Rob and Ace watch it
at night after the other gets a bed. Well, thank
you so much for doing this. You're the best.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Yeah, my pleasure.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
I'm really grateful that we got to talk you too.
It was so fun and I wish you the best
of luck with rumor has it. I'm so excited. Thank you, Hie,
thank you so much for joining me on another episode
of What in the Winkler. Please tell a friend like it,
follow it and i'll see you next week.
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