December 30, 2024 • 45 mins
Finding out she was pregnant came as an utter shock to a 16 year old who hadn’t yet realized that her actions had consequences. Letting down her immigrant parents was her biggest fear. She learned at a young age to believe in herself, no matter what.
Today as a 26 year old mother to a nine year old daughter, Yajaira is still eager to prove herself. She thrives off the energy of New York City’s hospitality industry, but that doesn’t mean her career always provides the stability she needs, or that her managers recognize her hard work. As a young ambitious Latina people act like she has time to work her way up the professional ladder. They underestimate the responsibilities she has at home and don’t acknowledge the leadership she is capable of. From memories of her own childhood to her reflections on raising her daughter, Yajaira’s story is filled with inspiration, determination, confidence, and positivity.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think the hardest thing for me was for people
to understand that I want to grow and they don't
give you the opportunity to show what you're truly capable
of because they set such limitations to you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Welcome to when You're Invisible. My name is Maria Fernanda Diez,
but I know not everyone can roll there ours, so
it's also fine to call me Maria. When You're Invisible
is my love letter to the working class and others
who are seemingly invisible in our society.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I hope to build.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
A community here that inspires you to have generous conversations
with others that are different from you, conversations that might
help you see life in an entirely different way.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I ended up going to the hospital one day after
a week of like just constantly throwing up and not
eating anything and just cold shivers and like fevers and
things like that.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
This is Yahira.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
She grew up in New York, New Jersey, but she
was visiting family in Ecuador. When she went to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
This doctor man just touched my stomach and he was like,
what was the last time I had your period?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Long story short.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
He ended up telling me like, hey, I think you
might be pregnant.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Hira was sixteen. It was the summer before her senior
year of high school.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was like the hardest thing I've ever heard in
my whole entire life, truly, at like sixteen years old,
finding out that I am pregnant. It was truly the
worst moment of my life, just having to deal with
that at sixteen years old. And you know, I don't
(01:42):
think I've ever met a sixteen year old that wants.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
A kid and one of the biggest anxieties to cross
her mind telling her parents.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I remember begging this doctor not to tell my father,
Like I begged him not to tell him, and he
was just like, you're a minor. I'm sorry, you're I'm
just like, come, oh, US citizen.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Like You're like, can I pull this card?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Where is a patient doctor confidentiality thing? He was like,
not here, you're a minor, and yeah, we're I tell
your parents.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I was like, damn today, Yeah, Hira's twenty six.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I'm a mom to a nine year old and I'm
twenty six.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, I was like, what the heck. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Hira and I met almost a year ago in a
studio in Manhattan. She was wearing cool nigees sorry sneaker heads,
I don't know what they were, a gray sporty turtleneck
and black jeans. Her black hair was an acute, modern
shoulderling cut that flipped outwards at the ends in blonde tips.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
She had a nose ring. She looked cool and put together.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
She was quick to smile, and my first impression of
her was that she was super outgoing and confident.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be
here today.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I didn't know you, Hira before this. Originally, when I
set out to do this episode, I wanted to interview
someone who was in the service industry. Having worked at
a fancy steakhouse myself, I thought that this industry deserved
more attention. I was curious about the ins and outs
of being working class and serving wealthy people for a living.
(03:16):
So through a friend of a friend of a friend,
I was introduced to Yahira. She's worked at luxury hotels
and restaurants and is currently a matre d in Brooklyn.
I went in wanting to know about her job, but
the moment we started talking, so many other things started
to unfold, and her story surprised me. She's a teen mom,
(03:40):
and she's first gen Her parents immigrated here from Ecuador,
and there was high expectations for her growing up. Lots
of love in her households, but also lots.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Of pressure being the first generation from Latino parents. They
want you to be like an abogada, you know, things
like that, and I'm none of those things. But I
am happy with what I do.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
The more I got to know Yahira and her story,
I saw that even through the toughest times, she never
doubted herself. She had to grow out fast and deal
with adult problems when she was still a kid, but
even when she felt most isolated, she found the strength
and resolved to push through. Her life experiences and the
(04:24):
lessons and love she received from her family during the
good times and the hard ones have allowed her to
own her confidence, ambition, and resourcefulness. It's a story that
I hope we all learn something from. So let's go
back a bit to when she was a kid, Like,
what did.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Or do your parents do for work?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So? My dad is a truck driver. He's been a
truck driver ever since I could remember. Yeah, and my
mom has been a nanny ever since I could remember.
She's really great with children and she taught me how
to be great with my child.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
That's awesome. Yeah, what were your parents? It's like growing up?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, so I was a first child.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
And how many are you total?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
There's three of us now, okay, there's an eleven year
difference between the next oldest. Okay, so I am.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You're like an only child for a while.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yes, growing up, my parents took me around absolutely everywhere.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was super spoiled.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Everything I wanted my father just gave me. I was
the only girl.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You often see a dichotomy in how Latin households are portrayed.
There's the princess and then there's the daughter who lives
to serve like like the Cinderella without the fairy tale,
and that comes from real life in a way, particularly
because of machismo and the expectations of women. A woman
is either delicate and treated like a prize or a pet,
(05:45):
or she's fulfilling every expectation of her family at the
expense of her own needs. And if you don't fall
under one of these categories, then you're just seen as
a disappointment, a black sheep. And the thing you hire
a story reminds me is that these aren't mutually exclusive.
(06:05):
They can actually be layered all in one person. Yeahhira
was her parents princess, but she was also their protector, or,
as she calls it, their spokesperson.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay, so your first gen two, right, Yes, I am.
My parents counted on me to do absolutely everything. Again,
my parents came from Ecuador. Yeah, and they didn't really
know English for a huge part of my life. Now
they do, and they're like they're more able to do
some things on their own. But like, growing up, it
was always like, Yeahirah, come with me to the post
(06:39):
office and talk to this person about this thing, and
or like yeah, Hiro could call the phone company and
fix this for me please. You know, I was their spokesperson. Yeah,
that's what it felt like. So honestly, growing up, I
don't think I was a fan of being asked to
like help with their things. Yeah, just because I'll get
extremely nervous and anxious and.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I'm just like what if I do it wrong?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Especially my dad, Like as much as he loved me
as much as a princess to him that I was,
there was a lot of tough love there too. But
you know, my parents would be like, hey, Hira, can
you call the bank, and for me, like and I'm
just like the bank, you know, I call the bank
for I'm thirteen.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Did you ever feel like a sense of vulnerability?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
It was self extremely tough because again, those are all
things that like I don't want to think about, I
guess in that sense of just like bills, you know,
at thirteen, you're not thinking about that. But I think
that's something that all immigrant parents and you know, children
like first Generassian children, not just Latinos, just deal with,
you know, just having that responsibility and then having to
(07:42):
deal with your own school work, and you know, it
could be a lot, but it honestly did teach me
a lot of things I was more exposed to, like
adult things. You know, my parents helped me.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
So you can hear that Yahira is still protecting her
parents in a way to reassure us that even though
she had all this responsibility, she was still their little girl.
In this kind of dynamic, I think there's an ebb
and flow of acting like an adult and getting to
be a child. But just because you're your parents protector
(08:15):
doesn't mean they stop protecting you. Yahiro wasn't sheltered. She
shouldered responsibility with her parents, but they were in the
thick of it together.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
They were close.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I think immigrant households can be ones filled with so
much hope and dreams, especially when it is better than
your home country, and yet at the same time, it's
filled with fears, worries, and problems that come with the
experience of when you're working class or poor. No matter what, though,
they raised each other up during tough times. What do
(08:50):
you feel like are some of the values you grew
up with?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So growing up I used to get bullied in like
third grade up until about sixth grade, something that my
mom always installed in me. It's just like turn the
other cheek due to others what you want done to you. Yeah,
And so it was just always like treat people with respect,
always say hi. Just everything was all has always been
about respect with like me growing up and the values
(09:15):
that my mom and my father have taught me. And
it's a basile not a lot of people have, which
is kind of crazy. You.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Hira kept mentioning throughout the interview how lucky she is
to have been given so much love and wisdom. But
I think this is especially true of Yahira's relationship with
them now. She's grateful that they've been supportive of her
and her child the last nine.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Years, but some of this is in retrospect.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
As a teenager, the love she got from her parents
was also shaped by the fear of disappointing them. At
the time she got pregnant, she was terrified to tell
her parents, Like she said, she begged the doctor not to.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
At least technically, I didn't have to break the news
to my dad because that probably would have a lot
more difficult than the doctor telling him. It was so
a very unpleasant situation. My dad fell into like a
huge depression. My parents both did. We lived together in
the same household, but he'd completely like locked himself out
(10:15):
from the world for some time, and so did my mom.
So it was it was truly a very mentally challenging
situation for me to go from like being close to
my parents in a way and just you know, always
like my dad's little girl with his little princess.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah, and then now I'm his little princess that's gonna
have a baby. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Was it ever an option not to have your daughter
or was it also something that was like automatic, So.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Actually it was an option not to have her. Honestly,
I'm sort of surprised to this day that my parents
ever gave me an option to whether have an abortion
or not to.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
That's huge because like, for example, with my parents, I
would not would not have been the case.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Yeah until like.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Now as an adult, like come to be like, Okay,
whatever decision you were to make, that would be fine.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think the situation I was in just like because
the doctor's over there thought I was sick and just
giving me a lot of medications. My mom was like
in communication with my doctor from over here, and so
he was just like listen, like this is the most
important time of like a baby's like the fetal stage
for development. A lot of the medications that I took
were extremely like too strong and could affect the embryo
(11:34):
in a negative way. And so my mom was just like,
now you think about it, hopefully your baby is healthy,
but if not, like you're going to have to be
responsible for your kid, like once you decide to keep it,
like no matter what conditions or what situations happens, Like, yeah,
that's on you.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Part of me is happy that she got to make
the decision for herself, but it's hard to think about
not having a community to fully consult with first being
sixteen and left to make the decision on your own
is intense.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
That night that we had that conversation with my parents
in Ecuador, I had gone to bed and just, I
don't know, I had this dream of a little girl
and I woke up bawling my eyes out that night.
I think it was probably like a lot of guilt
that I felt like having to come up with the
decision like that. So after that dream, I was just like, damn,
(12:29):
whatever happens happens.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I think in this nation we have such a weird
relationship with teen moms. What I've noticed is that sometimes
teen moms are made hyper visible. Think about mtvs. Sixteen
and pregnant. This was on when I was growing up.
It was a cautionary tale of don't let this be you.
On the flip side, we completely invisibilize teen moms. We
(12:54):
don't want to deal with them in our communities and schools.
Schools literally will try to make teen parents drop out
or go to some specialized school, even though it goes
against Title nine to do so. This makes me think
of the homes for Unwed Mothers, where young moms were
sent in.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
The fifties and sixties.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It's estimated that one point five million of these women
were forced to give up their babies for adoption. Mostly
it was white, middle class women at these homes, but
of course, young mothers of color have experienced many forms
of marginalization. Politicians from Reagan to Bush to Clinton villainized
(13:35):
black teen moms and turn them into a symbol of irresponsibility,
an example of unfairly living off welfare. Policies were instituted
to target them. Across the spectrum, teen moms are facing
a lot of judgment. At another stage of life, bringing
a child into the world would be considered the most
(13:57):
joyous news, and it's sad to me that young moms
are left to feel shut out from the joy and
pride of motherhood.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Growing up, I used to say that I wanted to
be a nurse or something like that. Once I was pregnant,
my dad was just like what now, Like what are
you going to do? Now? Are you going to go
to college? Like you have to go to college? I
hire please, Like you have to be a parent now,
but please don't fail me. We came here for our
future kids at that point, to like do something, be something,
They're like, please, like, don't let us down. Just go
(14:27):
to college. Finish. We don't want you to move out.
We don't want you to get married, like, we don't
want none of that for you. We want you to
just focus on school. Yeah that was my parent's biggest thing.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Wow, that's huge.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, this pressure of please don't fail me is intense.
As a first gen American, Ya Hira had to live
for her parents and now for her child too. But
given how little hope our society has for teen moms,
this was an important push for your Hira to be
able to achieve her full potential and to get the
education she deserved. You Hira's parents broke through their own
(15:00):
shock and initial depression about her pregnancy and rallied behind her.
As I said before, if you weren't the princess or
the helper, you're the disappointment, the rebel. But Yea, Hira's
parents didn't fall into that trap, and neither did you Hira.
She chose to live as her full self. Ultimately she
(15:22):
got the support she needed to continue on her path
and have a child.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I went to an all girls private high school up
on the Upper East Side. They didn't take it quite well.
It was, you know, a process to have me stay there.
My mom, I remember she used to go to the
school and just fight for me and just like no,
like the doctor said, she's good, like she can go
to school, like she needs the state in the school.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
She had her parents behind her and the baby's father.
They're still together, by the way. Although her teachers made
school hard, her friends and classmates supported her too. This
all strengthened her even when she had to figure out
the future herself.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It was my senior year, so all my classmates were
getting questioned like, hey, what college are you going to, Like,
how's college process going so far? And when it came
to me, it was just like, so are you going
to college? You know, do you plan on it? It
just always made me feel horrible. They just automatically assumed
(16:21):
that I wouldn't be going, wouldn't be going. So again,
a lot of the pressure was on me. I'm just
like trying to figure myself out, especially like having like
immigrant parents who don't necessarily have like a profession that
required college or things like that. It's just like I
didn't really have that guidance from family, and my parents
(16:42):
were always like just just do it. Just do it.
I'm just like, it's not that simple, Just like like
I need to know what I want to do, Like
I don't want to waste my time or my money.
You know, you got to pay for college, so you know, Yeah,
it was it was slightly challenging, but I knew I
could do it.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I love her internal resolve and trust in herself even
as the doubt surrounded her and the pressure mounted. But
why should it all be on her? Of course, I'm
not blaming her parents for not having the experience, but
why was the default of her school to question her
goals instead of helping her achieve them. Not every teenager
(17:22):
can stand up to scrutiny like that. We all need support.
In American culture, motherhood, no matter your age, can become
an enormous load to carry. Kids bring so much joy,
but more and more people are getting real about the
burdens of parenthood. Our individualistic culture puts the load on
the mother to carry the biggest burden, rather than taking
(17:45):
a village to support and raise a child. Why should
such a joy in life not to mention raising the
future of our society? Feel like it makes it impossible
to do anything else.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
She shouldn't have just been on her.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
But Yeahira did figure out a way to cut through
the bullshit.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Did you ever doubt yourself as a result.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
No, I didn't doubt myself. I knew what I wanted,
I knew what I was going to do, and I
did it. I told myself, I'm going to go to
college and I did. And honestly, it was all from
the support from my family. Again, if my parents were
not there to help me and like just help me
with my child, yeah, I would have never been able
to do it, or it would have been a million
times more difficult. In my family, I'm the first grandchild
(18:29):
to begin with, I'm the first child. I'm the first
one to go to college. No matter what, I just
had to do it.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I'm so happy for her.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I know we were just strangers before this interview, but
I really feel proud of her for persevering and getting
her high school and college degrees. Sometimes I hear her
downplaying the challenges she faced, but I think that's just
because she knew she had to get through that. She
didn't want them to feel too daunted, and she did
push through and defied expectations and odds.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I must to be real.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
She's been training for that since she was little. She
was her parents spokesperson when she was still learning to read,
and even when she felt like getting pregnant was the
end of the world, she always had the resilience, responsibility, grit, empathy,
and defiance within her to be a mother and to
achieve her goals. Since college, she's only continued to push herself. Today,
(19:26):
she's trying to rise up the ranks in the workforce
and once again overcome biased about her age, race, and gender.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
That's coming after the break. We almost did like two
hundred covers.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
So I was like, Okay, I'm busy, but you know,
I thrive in an atmosphere like that. I'm just like,
I got this, I got this.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
It went well.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
The problem was when this one guest had a question
for me about going into the members club in there.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Welcome back to when You're invisible to Yeahira works in
the hospitality business.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
This person was a hotel guest. He was a VIP
hotel guest. So I was just like, Okay, I don't
really know, but I also don't want to say no.
And this man's like, Okay, I'm gonna wait right here
for you to give me an answer.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I was like, absolutely, she's describing a night at her
previous job where she was the matre d at a restaurant,
and that restaurant was inside a luxury members club and
hotel in Manhattan. I think three thousand dollars a night.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Initially, it was such a fabulous place to work at.
I made such great money, thirty dollars an hour. I
had points in a tip pool, so it is not
that I just made thirty, but I also had more
from whatever tips was made. It was great.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
It was fun.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
There was respect, there was love, there was motivation. There
was a lot of things. And at the time, the
director of food and beverage was so phenomenal. He always
like motivated me. This man cared about everyone. He would
be like, oh yeah, hirer. Like on a Sunday, he
was just like, come with your daughter, like have some coffee,
some teeth, some like pastries, so your daughter can know
(21:08):
where you work and so you know, you can spend
time with her. I was just like mind. I was
just like wow, extremely thoughtful. Then he left and that's
when that place went downhill.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Unfortunately, his replacement started changing policies kind of small at first,
like you had to change into your uniform and then
clock in. But then he was trying to keep employees
from seeing their contract and new employees were starting with
much lower pay. It was in the midst of this
culture shift that you Hira had this crazy busy night
(21:41):
when the hotel guest approached her with a question about
whether he could go into the members club, so she
went to find a supervisor. When she went into the hallway,
she saw her boss, the new food and beverage director,
and a couple other managers standing around together.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I put my hand to my chest, which in hospitality
means like come here, like I need you, and so
I'm doing that and they ignore me. I'm like, okay,
so I like walk closer to them, and I'm just
like covering over them still, you know, tapping on my chest,
you know, some extreme eye contact. They look at me,
they turn around, they continue the conversation, and I'm right
(22:18):
next to them.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
She was anxious to get back to the restaurant, where
there were no managers and a guest was waiting for
the answer to his question.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
So I'm like, I am so sorry for interrupting, and
the food and beverage director turns around, looks at me.
He's like, it's so important that you need to interrupt
us right now, and like with this nasty tone of voice.
And I was so thrown aback as to how he
spoke to me. And I just looked at him. I
was like, matter of fact, yes it is.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
She went on to speak to a different manager about
her question, but the food and beverage director interrupted, barking
at Yahira to take her hands out of her pockets.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Again with a nasty voice. And I look at him,
and I stare at him, and I keep my hands
in my pocket. I turned my head around and I'm
just like I just ignored him.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Eventually, she made her way back to her post at
the restaurant, but another manager followed her there. She raised
her voice in front of guests to tell you, Hira
how rude she had been in front of her boss.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Storms down the hallway and just barks.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I mean, just like, do you know who that was?
I was like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Sorry, I don't care who he is. He needs to
respect me. I'm not gonna respect him just because he
has this title. I was just like, he needs to
respect me because I'm also a human being. You can
be the president of the United States of America. You're
gonna disrespect me, I'm going to say something like, that's okay.
You have something to say say to me, just don't
be rude about it. For all my years of hospitality,
I've never ever, ever, ever raised my voice at a
(23:45):
single person, not one of my staff, no one, no one,
no one, no one. I'm always like just positivity and
happiness and just trying to get things done. And that
man was a first person I like just took the
nasty out of me.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I'm thinking back to how Yahira said she was raised.
Respect was one of the biggest lessons. She learned to
respect everyone and expects the same in return. The same
goes for guests.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I'll have people like where I'm like, hey, how are
you welcome? And they'll just look at me and completely
ignore me, and I'll get mad and I'll just say
it aloud again, I'm like, how are you welcome in?
And then they're just like forced to acknowledge me. Yeah,
because I just repeat myself because I refuse to be
ignored m M. With just like a lot of things,
(24:34):
even like holding a door open and no one says
thank you. I'm just like you're very welcome.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Oh heck yeah, I love that as someone just existing
in the world. Whenever, like you interact in a hospitality setting,
is there anything like you wish guests would know.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Who are all actual human beings? And I know we
get paid to serve you guys, but like, just treat
us like humans, like, be respectful. We're made out of
the same things bone, body blood.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
When I went into this interview, I really thought our
conversation would center around the guests of the restaurants and hotels.
I was ready to hear some crazy stories of white
Lotus esque behavior. But overall, Yahira is a people person.
She loves hospitality and meeting guests and making people smile.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
There's been so many great people like you know where
I'll serve themselves. They're like, oh my god, thank you
so much. Like people like that just bring me to it.
I'm like, you know what, absolutely my pleasure. Let me
know anything that you want. My name's I'm around, and
I just get so happy. I know how to read
a room. I know how to read certain situations. So
even if I see someone that's like I'll like uptime whatever,
(25:46):
I'll just go in and smile nice and veil. I'm like, hey,
how are you, and they'll just be like very serious,
like look at me, and I'm just like, you know,
it's a beautiful date today, and just start chatting and
say something, and usually I am the making them smile.
Well yeah, shape another.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah. It's funny because it's like sometimes all people need
is that connection and that extra care, and like my
mom says that all the time, is like all we want.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Is to be seen.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yeah, you know, it's funny that you just said that.
I just I feel like I realized something. That's probably
why I and the way I am. I just want
to be seen.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I loved being here for the moment when Jahira has
this realization she wants to be recognized and appreciated for
her work and the service she's providing, whether by guests
or management. I think it's one of the most beautiful
things about people, how we all want to be seen,
really seen. Sometimes it seems like in hospitality your job
(26:46):
is to be invisible, to seamlessly serve people and meet
their needs without them ever really needing to ask for
anything or acknowledge. You knowing that culture, it's why I
thought the guests would be the source of stress at work,
you Hira, But overall, j Hira's had positive.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Experiences with them.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
She loves to make their day and she often feels
their gratitude in return. It's management that she's had the
biggest issues with, even though they should be on the
same team. Instead of uplifting her, she's had managers who
just tear her down. She actually ended up quitting the
job at the fancy hotel.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I actually made a lot more money, but it was
such a toxic environment that.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I had to leave.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
It's not easy to find a job in hospitality that
pays well and has a healthy work environment. It's not
an easy industry to work in. Hours are long and unreliable.
Wages often start low and revolve around unreliable tips. Shifts change,
and schedules are assigned last minute. New work nights and weekends,
(27:49):
Financial stability and any sense of consistency are not always possible.
Has hospitality always been able to provide that?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
No, not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Is there any change you think would help either young
parents or like people who work in hospitality. Hourly wage, baby,
ay Man, that's my biggest thing. New York City's crazy expensive.
You can't be paying people twenty dollars an hour anymore,
minimum should be thirty. Prices of things are going up,
(28:23):
for transportation, for food, everything, and why are salaries not
going up? Why are we still making the bare minimum
eighteen nineteen twenty dollars an hour. By the way, can't
even help pay the bills, even with me making thirty
dollars an hour.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I struggled, but it wasn't the same struggle. It was like, hey,
I could pay my mouths, but I probably shouldn't go
crazy with anything else.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
In NYC, lots of people are spending over half their
income solely on housing and groceries. The median rent is
three thousand, seven hundred dollars. And I think there's a
lot of assumptions about working in hospitality, that it's temporary,
that it's not your career, that you're young and you
(29:09):
can get by on less.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Being a woman, being a Latino woman in like some
form of an authority role is you know, challenging and
being young, and everyone's just like, oh, you have so
much time ahead of you, and I'm just like, no,
I don't. I have a nine year old child. I
need more for myself. And it's just an ambition that
I don't think anyone really understands, Like when you're young
(29:34):
and you're a teen parent and you're trying to like
make sure you're someone.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yahira faces so many biases of what and where she
should be at her age and as a Latina. People
understand twenty six year olds have ambition, but often think
they have time to get where they're going. As a
young woman in your twenties, you aren't always taken seriously.
I face this at times in my own life and
can empathize. You're seen as cute and at time times undermined.
(30:01):
People assume that you won't be commanding enough to lead.
Being a person of color comes with additional barriers. You're
automatically not associated with occupying a position of power. To me,
it's so frustrating again that other people are the ones
trying to place limits on Yahira instead of asking how
can I help? Do you feel like there's a time
(30:23):
where you felt invisible?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I felt really invisible at that place the hotel slash
private club, which is why just I had to leave.
Like the money was there, I had such great benefits,
Like it was at a loss for me, but I
left ultimately because I did feel invisible. I felt like
I was not seen, I was not heard. Came to
a point where I would be crying every night because
(30:47):
I felt like I was not being taken serious or acknowledged,
and honestly, I wasn't just the opportunity for growth like
you'll see people moving up levels. I had begged in
that place so so many times. Please give me more responsibilities,
like I open up this place. Everyone knows me here.
We can help each other make this place super successful.
(31:09):
Take me serious, like I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I feel her passion and her hunger for success, not
just for herself, but for a team and an establishment
to succeed. And the fact that I can feel it,
I know her dedication is so close to the surface.
She won't be crushed by a shitty manager. She's done
it before. When people doubted that she could go to
college and raise a kid, she proved them wrong. Even
(31:35):
if it's a challenging road, She's never doubted her abilities.
The hospitality industry does not make it easy, but she's
determined to make her way in it and succeed as
a young, ambitious Latina. Of course, though it wouldn't be
nice if people could open their eyes and see it too.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
My mom's always like, hey, maybe you should find yourself
a day job. I work nights, so a lot of
the times my daughter sleeps at their house. It's like, butma, like,
I don't have a day job that I would actually
like to work at, or was just like, I'm happy
where I'm at. You know, I'm finally very happy at
this job I'm working, and I have this like maitre
(32:17):
d slash floor manager position, which ultimately is giving me
what I want in the sense of like title you no,
I have more respect. And they actually just came to
my recent job and they saw like how great of
a space I work at in My mom was just
so happy. She was like, oh my god, Like, if
you're happy, then fine, I'm happy too.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
When you feel seen and appreciated for what you do,
it's a feeling that grounds and fuels you, especially after
so many ups and downs, and there's a sense of
peace when you're immigrant.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
Parents who may.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Have had a particular vision of what they wanted your
life to be acknowledge your version of your happiness. It
feels like with this shift and acceptance, Yeahira has really
been able to dig into exploring who she is as
a full person and be present in her own daughter's life.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
We'll be right back. When do you feel seen.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
With my baby?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Maybaby girl?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
She I think that's the most scene I'll ever feel. Like,
no job, no nothing could ever make me feel as
seen or heard than my beautiful baby girl.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Welcome back today. Yahira lives in Upper Manhattan with her
partner and her daughter. What do you guys enjoy doing
together when you do have time?
Speaker 1 (33:43):
So my daughter loves to dance, So like when we're
home together, we'll just hey, Alexa, play I don't know
any song, and we just start dancing, and like we
pretend like we have an audience and we just start dancing.
And she's like, Mama, wait, She's like, sit down and
let me show you my performance. And I will take
(34:04):
turns so she'll perform for me, and then I'll perform
for her.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Even though I do get nervous.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I get so nervous, and she's like, Mama, don't be shy,
pulls out her iPad and starts recording me. I'm like,
are you kidding me? I'm just here hopping around doing
twirls and spins. And she's just loving it. But you
know what, it makes her happy.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah. Hira told me this playfulness is something she learned
about parenthood from her own mom.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
It's just the way my mom is. She's, you know,
very playful, very you know, hands on. I think it's
your charisma. What she is as a mother is what
I've always hoped to be as a mother growing up.
And I'm not necessarily like her, just because we have
different ideas and I have a different work lifestyle than her,
So my work life balance is not the same, yea
the same or as great as you know, perhaps a
(34:55):
mother should be to some degree, at least in her perspective. Ye.
But overall, you know, I try to do everything like
the way my mom used to you know huge. Yeah,
used to do things with me growing up. That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I think something that's like an underrated quality is the
ability to play.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Yeah, to use your charisma with your kid. Yeah, so
that's huge.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, and you know, just making sure your child always
feels loved and has the attention that they need. But sometimes,
you know, as an adult, life is hard and you
get tired and you just have other things in your head.
So but you just still have to maintain that same
energy for your child no matter what. And that's what
I learned from my mom. I've never seen her not like,
(35:40):
not be playful. I've never seen her not do anything
that puts myself first or my siblings first.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Going from a sixteen year old who is naturally self
centered to an adult who fully sees the sacrifices her
parents made while also understanding her own evolution is a
huge thing. So what did you discover about yourself through
becoming a mom?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Then I'm stronger than what I look.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
And honestly, I think that's where I get most of
my positivity from. It's just because I know I have
a little girl that looks forward to me, and that's
where my mind actually, like my perspective on a lot
of things in life has changed. I take life more
serious now. You know, you're young and you're just like,
nothing happens to you. Like I always thought nothing could
happen to me. So I got pregnant and I'm like, oh,
(36:29):
things can happen to me, And you know, again, it's
just positivity, and I think, no, not, I think I
know that that's what being a mother has taught me.
That like my mind has to be healthy for me
to be a great mom because again me, growing up,
I was a little bit of a hot mess in
my head, but that completely changed once I realized that
(36:53):
I have something to look forward to in life.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
And how has your relationship to mother he hood changed
as you as your kid gets old?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Her? You know, when she was a baby, she was
a baby, she really wouldn't know anything. You know, you
don't really know things in life. Now that she's nine,
you know, she's very attentive to everything. If I wake
up sad one day, she'll con and she's like, like, Mama,
what are you okay? Like why are you sad? So
(37:23):
she notices more things, and so I have to be
more conscious as to how I am and how I
carry myself.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Yeahhira fuels her motherhood and her well being by reminding
herself that she has many things to hold her down,
make her happy, and that she can be proud of.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
I can't just lock myself out and just be a mom.
And honestly, I'm not just a mom, you know, I'm
also young. And I love that for me, and I
love that for my daughter. I want her to know
that there's more to me than just being a mom.
It is the big part of me. But also, you know,
(38:02):
I'm a friend, and I'm a daughter, and I'm a
worker and just I try.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I try so hard.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, And then what's something you enjoy.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
My own personal passion? Like I bought a car year
ago and it's a stick shift. Oh yeah, I'm obsessed
with my car, and I'm obsessed with like driving. So
I love to drive. And I love the fact that
my car is not automatic, so you know that already
gives me like a little edge, So that that's my
(38:32):
favorite thing to do. I love to buy things for
my car. I'm in the process of like customizing it.
Oh yeah, so it brings me so much short I'll
go and I'll sit in my car and not do anything.
I'll just be like, Ah, that's amazing. Car is mine,
my money, my work, my name on it. Yeah, for sure,
the first thing that I own it.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
I love that. Wait, what kind of car.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
It's a twenty eighteen Honda s I and it's a
coop and she's so emoo. I call her the Baddimobile.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
That's so cute. I love that driving stuck is so cool.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
This moment of getting to buy her own car and
take care of it shows how much Yeahirah has accomplished
and how hard she's worked.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
It's also such.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
An iconic moment in the American dream. There's just so
much a treasure and all that Yeahirah has done at
twenty six. Finding growth as a mom and as a
person is something we don't always talk about. We're never perfect,
We're always in process. What are like some of your
hopes and dreams for the future, whether career or family.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I hope to be in a position where I don't
necessarily have to work as much as I do, where
I have the financial stability to be more at home.
Despite knowing that my passion is hospitality, it doesn't necessarily
mean I have to work in a restaurant my whole life. Yeah,
(40:07):
and I hope to reach a level where I don't
have to work at a restaurant my whole life. Another
huge goal that I pray to God that one day
I will be able to accomplish is I want to
open a nonprofit organization for teen parents after being a
teen mom. I was blessed and fortunate enough to, you know,
(40:29):
have my parents support and be able to do everything
that I've done, but not everyone runs that same luck.
And you know, owed some partners support to yeah, yeah,
and my partner support and like, oh, I want to
like with him, Like I want to open up a
nonprofit organization where we help teen parents around the city
(40:50):
with finding a job. And my expertise is hospitality and
like restaurants, and I know I have a lot of
connections to restaurants, you know, just helping these teen parents
getting a job and and you know, maybe one day
open up a little daycare center where my mom is
like the headteacher and watch teen parents' kids while you know,
just I don't know. It's one of my dreams that
(41:12):
obviously it's a rough draft, but it's awesome. But that's
really what I want to do, like at one day
in my life, I just I want to help out
people that are in a similar situation notes which I
was in growing up.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Giving people the things we never had is such a
generous way of making something beautiful grow out of a
difficult situation. What do you hope your daughter takes away
from your story? Oh, in your life, what is one
thing you hope she carries with her.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
To not let anyone doubt her. God knows what situations
she might be in, and I pray to God that
her life is what my parents wanted for me, but
to never let anyone tell her otherwise. She is strong,
and she is powerful, and she is beautiful and she
is smart, and that is what I want her to
Just carry her whole entire life. Whatever it is that
(42:07):
makes her happy, good for you, be happy, but just
don't ever let anyone, like just anyone tell you that
you can't do something, because you can absolutely do anything
in this world anything. And I just want her to
know that this life can be crazy, this world can
(42:27):
be cruel, but she doesn't have to be any of that.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Yeahirah embodies so much of this for her daughter, and
it's clear that Yahira's daughter is now.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Part of the lineage of women and.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
People who choose to be respectful, kind, positive, and confident.
Yahirah reminds me so much of the saying mind over matter.
Her strong will has led her through so many challenging circumstances.
She's taken on life with grace, gratitude, dude, and warmth,
even when the world has tried to push her down
(43:03):
or underestimate her. I learned from Hirah that you can
be bold, ask for, and fight for the life you want,
and that if you never give up on yourself, you
will find a way.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Thank you, Oh my gosh. I appreciate you taking time
out of your day, not what.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
I am so happy to be here, and I just
I don't think I've ever had such a long conversation
about myself ever.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Really, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I am honored.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
Thank you, thank you really.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
For having me in here. And honestly, I think I
did a lot of like self thinking whiles, like just
thinking about certain things about my life, just sitting here
and being asked these questions, but a lot of like
realizations in my head, which I'll be pondering about Wally
Pizza later.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Yeah, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Becoming who you are and learning from those around you,
whether it be your blood or your chosen family, has
been a big theme of the season. Next week is
a season finale, and I'm so excited to introduce you
to my Abuela and my Mom's coming back to the show.
To help translate what would you like us as your
family to know or families that have an elder to know.
Speaker 4 (44:15):
Okay, okay, becasus I said that no, thank.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
That they treat them with all the love in their hearts.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yes, we may be old, but we feel and not
that just because we are at this age in life
we don't have feelings.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
We'll be talking about aging and how her ideas about
women and the world have shifted over a lifetime. See
you next week. Thank you so much for listening to
When You're Invisible. Please leave us a rating and a
review to let us know what you think. You can
find this episode and future on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
(45:02):
or wherever.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
You get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
When You're Invisible is a production of iHeart Podcasts and
my Podura podcast Network. I'm your creator and host Maria
Fernanda Vies. Our story editor is Dylan Hoyer. This season
was produced by Me with additional production from Dylan Hoyer.
Sound designed by Me Maria Fernanda Vies with additional support
(45:25):
from Dylan Hoyer. Mixing and mastering by Laurence Stump. Original
theme music by Tony Bruno. Our executive producers are Anna
Stump and Gisell Banzes, and special thanks to our Lean
Santana
I think the hardest thing for me was for people
to understand that I want to grow and they don't
give you the opportunity to show what you're truly capable
of because they set such limitations to you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Welcome to when You're Invisible. My name is Maria Fernanda Diez,
but I know not everyone can roll there ours, so
it's also fine to call me Maria. When You're Invisible
is my love letter to the working class and others
who are seemingly invisible in our society.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I hope to build.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
A community here that inspires you to have generous conversations
with others that are different from you, conversations that might
help you see life in an entirely different way.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I ended up going to the hospital one day after
a week of like just constantly throwing up and not
eating anything and just cold shivers and like fevers and
things like that.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
This is Yahira.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
She grew up in New York, New Jersey, but she
was visiting family in Ecuador. When she went to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
This doctor man just touched my stomach and he was like,
what was the last time I had your period?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Long story short.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
He ended up telling me like, hey, I think you
might be pregnant.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Hira was sixteen. It was the summer before her senior
year of high school.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was like the hardest thing I've ever heard in
my whole entire life, truly, at like sixteen years old,
finding out that I am pregnant. It was truly the
worst moment of my life, just having to deal with
that at sixteen years old. And you know, I don't
(01:42):
think I've ever met a sixteen year old that wants.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
A kid and one of the biggest anxieties to cross
her mind telling her parents.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I remember begging this doctor not to tell my father,
Like I begged him not to tell him, and he
was just like, you're a minor. I'm sorry, you're I'm
just like, come, oh, US citizen.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Like You're like, can I pull this card?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Where is a patient doctor confidentiality thing? He was like,
not here, you're a minor, and yeah, we're I tell
your parents.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I was like, damn today, Yeah, Hira's twenty six.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I'm a mom to a nine year old and I'm
twenty six.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, I was like, what the heck. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Hira and I met almost a year ago in a
studio in Manhattan. She was wearing cool nigees sorry sneaker heads,
I don't know what they were, a gray sporty turtleneck
and black jeans. Her black hair was an acute, modern
shoulderling cut that flipped outwards at the ends in blonde tips.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
She had a nose ring. She looked cool and put together.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
She was quick to smile, and my first impression of
her was that she was super outgoing and confident.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be
here today.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I didn't know you, Hira before this. Originally, when I
set out to do this episode, I wanted to interview
someone who was in the service industry. Having worked at
a fancy steakhouse myself, I thought that this industry deserved
more attention. I was curious about the ins and outs
of being working class and serving wealthy people for a living.
(03:16):
So through a friend of a friend of a friend,
I was introduced to Yahira. She's worked at luxury hotels
and restaurants and is currently a matre d in Brooklyn.
I went in wanting to know about her job, but
the moment we started talking, so many other things started
to unfold, and her story surprised me. She's a teen mom,
(03:40):
and she's first gen Her parents immigrated here from Ecuador,
and there was high expectations for her growing up. Lots
of love in her households, but also lots.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Of pressure being the first generation from Latino parents. They
want you to be like an abogada, you know, things
like that, and I'm none of those things. But I
am happy with what I do.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
The more I got to know Yahira and her story,
I saw that even through the toughest times, she never
doubted herself. She had to grow out fast and deal
with adult problems when she was still a kid, but
even when she felt most isolated, she found the strength
and resolved to push through. Her life experiences and the
(04:24):
lessons and love she received from her family during the
good times and the hard ones have allowed her to
own her confidence, ambition, and resourcefulness. It's a story that
I hope we all learn something from. So let's go
back a bit to when she was a kid, Like,
what did.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Or do your parents do for work?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So? My dad is a truck driver. He's been a
truck driver ever since I could remember. Yeah, and my
mom has been a nanny ever since I could remember.
She's really great with children and she taught me how
to be great with my child.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
That's awesome. Yeah, what were your parents? It's like growing up?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, so I was a first child.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
And how many are you total?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
There's three of us now, okay, there's an eleven year
difference between the next oldest. Okay, so I am.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You're like an only child for a while.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yes, growing up, my parents took me around absolutely everywhere.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was super spoiled.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Everything I wanted my father just gave me. I was
the only girl.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You often see a dichotomy in how Latin households are portrayed.
There's the princess and then there's the daughter who lives
to serve like like the Cinderella without the fairy tale,
and that comes from real life in a way, particularly
because of machismo and the expectations of women. A woman
is either delicate and treated like a prize or a pet,
(05:45):
or she's fulfilling every expectation of her family at the
expense of her own needs. And if you don't fall
under one of these categories, then you're just seen as
a disappointment, a black sheep. And the thing you hire
a story reminds me is that these aren't mutually exclusive.
(06:05):
They can actually be layered all in one person. Yeahhira
was her parents princess, but she was also their protector, or,
as she calls it, their spokesperson.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay, so your first gen two, right, Yes, I am.
My parents counted on me to do absolutely everything. Again,
my parents came from Ecuador. Yeah, and they didn't really
know English for a huge part of my life. Now
they do, and they're like they're more able to do
some things on their own. But like, growing up, it
was always like, Yeahirah, come with me to the post
(06:39):
office and talk to this person about this thing, and
or like yeah, Hiro could call the phone company and
fix this for me please. You know, I was their spokesperson. Yeah,
that's what it felt like. So honestly, growing up, I
don't think I was a fan of being asked to
like help with their things. Yeah, just because I'll get
extremely nervous and anxious and.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I'm just like what if I do it wrong?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Especially my dad, Like as much as he loved me
as much as a princess to him that I was,
there was a lot of tough love there too. But
you know, my parents would be like, hey, Hira, can
you call the bank, and for me, like and I'm
just like the bank, you know, I call the bank
for I'm thirteen.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Did you ever feel like a sense of vulnerability?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
It was self extremely tough because again, those are all
things that like I don't want to think about, I
guess in that sense of just like bills, you know,
at thirteen, you're not thinking about that. But I think
that's something that all immigrant parents and you know, children
like first Generassian children, not just Latinos, just deal with,
you know, just having that responsibility and then having to
(07:42):
deal with your own school work, and you know, it
could be a lot, but it honestly did teach me
a lot of things I was more exposed to, like
adult things. You know, my parents helped me.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
So you can hear that Yahira is still protecting her
parents in a way to reassure us that even though
she had all this responsibility, she was still their little girl.
In this kind of dynamic, I think there's an ebb
and flow of acting like an adult and getting to
be a child. But just because you're your parents protector
(08:15):
doesn't mean they stop protecting you. Yahiro wasn't sheltered. She
shouldered responsibility with her parents, but they were in the
thick of it together.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
They were close.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I think immigrant households can be ones filled with so
much hope and dreams, especially when it is better than
your home country, and yet at the same time, it's
filled with fears, worries, and problems that come with the
experience of when you're working class or poor. No matter what, though,
they raised each other up during tough times. What do
(08:50):
you feel like are some of the values you grew
up with?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So growing up I used to get bullied in like
third grade up until about sixth grade, something that my
mom always installed in me. It's just like turn the
other cheek due to others what you want done to you. Yeah,
And so it was just always like treat people with respect,
always say hi. Just everything was all has always been
about respect with like me growing up and the values
(09:15):
that my mom and my father have taught me. And
it's a basile not a lot of people have, which
is kind of crazy. You.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Hira kept mentioning throughout the interview how lucky she is
to have been given so much love and wisdom. But
I think this is especially true of Yahira's relationship with
them now. She's grateful that they've been supportive of her
and her child the last nine.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Years, but some of this is in retrospect.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
As a teenager, the love she got from her parents
was also shaped by the fear of disappointing them. At
the time she got pregnant, she was terrified to tell
her parents, Like she said, she begged the doctor not to.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
At least technically, I didn't have to break the news
to my dad because that probably would have a lot
more difficult than the doctor telling him. It was so
a very unpleasant situation. My dad fell into like a
huge depression. My parents both did. We lived together in
the same household, but he'd completely like locked himself out
(10:15):
from the world for some time, and so did my mom.
So it was it was truly a very mentally challenging
situation for me to go from like being close to
my parents in a way and just you know, always
like my dad's little girl with his little princess.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah, and then now I'm his little princess that's gonna
have a baby. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Was it ever an option not to have your daughter
or was it also something that was like automatic, So.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Actually it was an option not to have her. Honestly,
I'm sort of surprised to this day that my parents
ever gave me an option to whether have an abortion
or not to.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
That's huge because like, for example, with my parents, I
would not would not have been the case.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Yeah until like.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Now as an adult, like come to be like, Okay,
whatever decision you were to make, that would be fine.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think the situation I was in just like because
the doctor's over there thought I was sick and just
giving me a lot of medications. My mom was like
in communication with my doctor from over here, and so
he was just like listen, like this is the most
important time of like a baby's like the fetal stage
for development. A lot of the medications that I took
were extremely like too strong and could affect the embryo
(11:34):
in a negative way. And so my mom was just like,
now you think about it, hopefully your baby is healthy,
but if not, like you're going to have to be
responsible for your kid, like once you decide to keep it,
like no matter what conditions or what situations happens, Like, yeah,
that's on you.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Part of me is happy that she got to make
the decision for herself, but it's hard to think about
not having a community to fully consult with first being
sixteen and left to make the decision on your own
is intense.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
That night that we had that conversation with my parents
in Ecuador, I had gone to bed and just, I
don't know, I had this dream of a little girl
and I woke up bawling my eyes out that night.
I think it was probably like a lot of guilt
that I felt like having to come up with the
decision like that. So after that dream, I was just like, damn,
(12:29):
whatever happens happens.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I think in this nation we have such a weird
relationship with teen moms. What I've noticed is that sometimes
teen moms are made hyper visible. Think about mtvs. Sixteen
and pregnant. This was on when I was growing up.
It was a cautionary tale of don't let this be you.
On the flip side, we completely invisibilize teen moms. We
(12:54):
don't want to deal with them in our communities and schools.
Schools literally will try to make teen parents drop out
or go to some specialized school, even though it goes
against Title nine to do so. This makes me think
of the homes for Unwed Mothers, where young moms were
sent in.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
The fifties and sixties.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It's estimated that one point five million of these women
were forced to give up their babies for adoption. Mostly
it was white, middle class women at these homes, but
of course, young mothers of color have experienced many forms
of marginalization. Politicians from Reagan to Bush to Clinton villainized
(13:35):
black teen moms and turn them into a symbol of irresponsibility,
an example of unfairly living off welfare. Policies were instituted
to target them. Across the spectrum, teen moms are facing
a lot of judgment. At another stage of life, bringing
a child into the world would be considered the most
(13:57):
joyous news, and it's sad to me that young moms
are left to feel shut out from the joy and
pride of motherhood.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Growing up, I used to say that I wanted to
be a nurse or something like that. Once I was pregnant,
my dad was just like what now, Like what are
you going to do? Now? Are you going to go
to college? Like you have to go to college? I
hire please, Like you have to be a parent now,
but please don't fail me. We came here for our
future kids at that point, to like do something, be something,
They're like, please, like, don't let us down. Just go
(14:27):
to college. Finish. We don't want you to move out.
We don't want you to get married, like, we don't
want none of that for you. We want you to
just focus on school. Yeah that was my parent's biggest thing.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Wow, that's huge.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, this pressure of please don't fail me is intense.
As a first gen American, Ya Hira had to live
for her parents and now for her child too. But
given how little hope our society has for teen moms,
this was an important push for your Hira to be
able to achieve her full potential and to get the
education she deserved. You Hira's parents broke through their own
(15:00):
shock and initial depression about her pregnancy and rallied behind her.
As I said before, if you weren't the princess or
the helper, you're the disappointment, the rebel. But Yea, Hira's
parents didn't fall into that trap, and neither did you Hira.
She chose to live as her full self. Ultimately she
(15:22):
got the support she needed to continue on her path
and have a child.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I went to an all girls private high school up
on the Upper East Side. They didn't take it quite well.
It was, you know, a process to have me stay there.
My mom, I remember she used to go to the
school and just fight for me and just like no,
like the doctor said, she's good, like she can go
to school, like she needs the state in the school.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
She had her parents behind her and the baby's father.
They're still together, by the way. Although her teachers made
school hard, her friends and classmates supported her too. This
all strengthened her even when she had to figure out
the future herself.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It was my senior year, so all my classmates were
getting questioned like, hey, what college are you going to, Like,
how's college process going so far? And when it came
to me, it was just like, so are you going
to college? You know, do you plan on it? It
just always made me feel horrible. They just automatically assumed
(16:21):
that I wouldn't be going, wouldn't be going. So again,
a lot of the pressure was on me. I'm just
like trying to figure myself out, especially like having like
immigrant parents who don't necessarily have like a profession that
required college or things like that. It's just like I
didn't really have that guidance from family, and my parents
(16:42):
were always like just just do it. Just do it.
I'm just like, it's not that simple, Just like like
I need to know what I want to do, Like
I don't want to waste my time or my money.
You know, you got to pay for college, so you know, Yeah,
it was it was slightly challenging, but I knew I
could do it.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I love her internal resolve and trust in herself even
as the doubt surrounded her and the pressure mounted. But
why should it all be on her? Of course, I'm
not blaming her parents for not having the experience, but
why was the default of her school to question her
goals instead of helping her achieve them. Not every teenager
(17:22):
can stand up to scrutiny like that. We all need support.
In American culture, motherhood, no matter your age, can become
an enormous load to carry. Kids bring so much joy,
but more and more people are getting real about the
burdens of parenthood. Our individualistic culture puts the load on
the mother to carry the biggest burden, rather than taking
(17:45):
a village to support and raise a child. Why should
such a joy in life not to mention raising the
future of our society? Feel like it makes it impossible
to do anything else.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
She shouldn't have just been on her.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
But Yeahira did figure out a way to cut through
the bullshit.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Did you ever doubt yourself as a result.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
No, I didn't doubt myself. I knew what I wanted,
I knew what I was going to do, and I
did it. I told myself, I'm going to go to
college and I did. And honestly, it was all from
the support from my family. Again, if my parents were
not there to help me and like just help me
with my child, yeah, I would have never been able
to do it, or it would have been a million
times more difficult. In my family, I'm the first grandchild
(18:29):
to begin with, I'm the first child. I'm the first
one to go to college. No matter what, I just
had to do it.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I'm so happy for her.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I know we were just strangers before this interview, but
I really feel proud of her for persevering and getting
her high school and college degrees. Sometimes I hear her
downplaying the challenges she faced, but I think that's just
because she knew she had to get through that. She
didn't want them to feel too daunted, and she did
push through and defied expectations and odds.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I must to be real.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
She's been training for that since she was little. She
was her parents spokesperson when she was still learning to read,
and even when she felt like getting pregnant was the
end of the world, she always had the resilience, responsibility, grit, empathy,
and defiance within her to be a mother and to
achieve her goals. Since college, she's only continued to push herself. Today,
(19:26):
she's trying to rise up the ranks in the workforce
and once again overcome biased about her age, race, and gender.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
That's coming after the break. We almost did like two
hundred covers.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
So I was like, Okay, I'm busy, but you know,
I thrive in an atmosphere like that. I'm just like,
I got this, I got this.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
It went well.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
The problem was when this one guest had a question
for me about going into the members club in there.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Welcome back to when You're invisible to Yeahira works in
the hospitality business.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
This person was a hotel guest. He was a VIP
hotel guest. So I was just like, Okay, I don't
really know, but I also don't want to say no.
And this man's like, Okay, I'm gonna wait right here
for you to give me an answer.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I was like, absolutely, she's describing a night at her
previous job where she was the matre d at a restaurant,
and that restaurant was inside a luxury members club and
hotel in Manhattan. I think three thousand dollars a night.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Initially, it was such a fabulous place to work at.
I made such great money, thirty dollars an hour. I
had points in a tip pool, so it is not
that I just made thirty, but I also had more
from whatever tips was made. It was great.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
It was fun.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
There was respect, there was love, there was motivation. There
was a lot of things. And at the time, the
director of food and beverage was so phenomenal. He always
like motivated me. This man cared about everyone. He would
be like, oh yeah, hirer. Like on a Sunday, he
was just like, come with your daughter, like have some coffee,
some teeth, some like pastries, so your daughter can know
(21:08):
where you work and so you know, you can spend
time with her. I was just like mind. I was
just like wow, extremely thoughtful. Then he left and that's
when that place went downhill.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Unfortunately, his replacement started changing policies kind of small at first,
like you had to change into your uniform and then
clock in. But then he was trying to keep employees
from seeing their contract and new employees were starting with
much lower pay. It was in the midst of this
culture shift that you Hira had this crazy busy night
(21:41):
when the hotel guest approached her with a question about
whether he could go into the members club, so she
went to find a supervisor. When she went into the hallway,
she saw her boss, the new food and beverage director,
and a couple other managers standing around together.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I put my hand to my chest, which in hospitality
means like come here, like I need you, and so
I'm doing that and they ignore me. I'm like, okay,
so I like walk closer to them, and I'm just
like covering over them still, you know, tapping on my chest,
you know, some extreme eye contact. They look at me,
they turn around, they continue the conversation, and I'm right
(22:18):
next to them.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
She was anxious to get back to the restaurant, where
there were no managers and a guest was waiting for
the answer to his question.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
So I'm like, I am so sorry for interrupting, and
the food and beverage director turns around, looks at me.
He's like, it's so important that you need to interrupt
us right now, and like with this nasty tone of voice.
And I was so thrown aback as to how he
spoke to me. And I just looked at him. I
was like, matter of fact, yes it is.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
She went on to speak to a different manager about
her question, but the food and beverage director interrupted, barking
at Yahira to take her hands out of her pockets.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Again with a nasty voice. And I look at him,
and I stare at him, and I keep my hands
in my pocket. I turned my head around and I'm
just like I just ignored him.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Eventually, she made her way back to her post at
the restaurant, but another manager followed her there. She raised
her voice in front of guests to tell you, Hira
how rude she had been in front of her boss.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Storms down the hallway and just barks.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I mean, just like, do you know who that was?
I was like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Sorry, I don't care who he is. He needs to
respect me. I'm not gonna respect him just because he
has this title. I was just like, he needs to
respect me because I'm also a human being. You can
be the president of the United States of America. You're
gonna disrespect me, I'm going to say something like, that's okay.
You have something to say say to me, just don't
be rude about it. For all my years of hospitality,
I've never ever, ever, ever raised my voice at a
(23:45):
single person, not one of my staff, no one, no one,
no one, no one. I'm always like just positivity and
happiness and just trying to get things done. And that
man was a first person I like just took the
nasty out of me.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I'm thinking back to how Yahira said she was raised.
Respect was one of the biggest lessons. She learned to
respect everyone and expects the same in return. The same
goes for guests.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I'll have people like where I'm like, hey, how are
you welcome? And they'll just look at me and completely
ignore me, and I'll get mad and I'll just say
it aloud again, I'm like, how are you welcome in?
And then they're just like forced to acknowledge me. Yeah,
because I just repeat myself because I refuse to be
ignored m M. With just like a lot of things,
(24:34):
even like holding a door open and no one says
thank you. I'm just like you're very welcome.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Oh heck yeah, I love that as someone just existing
in the world. Whenever, like you interact in a hospitality setting,
is there anything like you wish guests would know.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Who are all actual human beings? And I know we
get paid to serve you guys, but like, just treat
us like humans, like, be respectful. We're made out of
the same things bone, body blood.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
When I went into this interview, I really thought our
conversation would center around the guests of the restaurants and hotels.
I was ready to hear some crazy stories of white
Lotus esque behavior. But overall, Yahira is a people person.
She loves hospitality and meeting guests and making people smile.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
There's been so many great people like you know where
I'll serve themselves. They're like, oh my god, thank you
so much. Like people like that just bring me to it.
I'm like, you know what, absolutely my pleasure. Let me
know anything that you want. My name's I'm around, and
I just get so happy. I know how to read
a room. I know how to read certain situations. So
even if I see someone that's like I'll like uptime whatever,
(25:46):
I'll just go in and smile nice and veil. I'm like, hey,
how are you, and they'll just be like very serious,
like look at me, and I'm just like, you know,
it's a beautiful date today, and just start chatting and
say something, and usually I am the making them smile.
Well yeah, shape another.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah. It's funny because it's like sometimes all people need
is that connection and that extra care, and like my
mom says that all the time, is like all we want.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Is to be seen.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yeah, you know, it's funny that you just said that.
I just I feel like I realized something. That's probably
why I and the way I am. I just want
to be seen.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I loved being here for the moment when Jahira has
this realization she wants to be recognized and appreciated for
her work and the service she's providing, whether by guests
or management. I think it's one of the most beautiful
things about people, how we all want to be seen,
really seen. Sometimes it seems like in hospitality your job
(26:46):
is to be invisible, to seamlessly serve people and meet
their needs without them ever really needing to ask for
anything or acknowledge. You knowing that culture, it's why I
thought the guests would be the source of stress at work,
you Hira, But overall, j Hira's had positive.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Experiences with them.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
She loves to make their day and she often feels
their gratitude in return. It's management that she's had the
biggest issues with, even though they should be on the
same team. Instead of uplifting her, she's had managers who
just tear her down. She actually ended up quitting the
job at the fancy hotel.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I actually made a lot more money, but it was
such a toxic environment that.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I had to leave.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
It's not easy to find a job in hospitality that
pays well and has a healthy work environment. It's not
an easy industry to work in. Hours are long and unreliable.
Wages often start low and revolve around unreliable tips. Shifts change,
and schedules are assigned last minute. New work nights and weekends,
(27:49):
Financial stability and any sense of consistency are not always possible.
Has hospitality always been able to provide that?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
No, not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Is there any change you think would help either young
parents or like people who work in hospitality. Hourly wage, baby,
ay Man, that's my biggest thing. New York City's crazy expensive.
You can't be paying people twenty dollars an hour anymore,
minimum should be thirty. Prices of things are going up,
(28:23):
for transportation, for food, everything, and why are salaries not
going up? Why are we still making the bare minimum
eighteen nineteen twenty dollars an hour. By the way, can't
even help pay the bills, even with me making thirty
dollars an hour.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I struggled, but it wasn't the same struggle. It was like, hey,
I could pay my mouths, but I probably shouldn't go
crazy with anything else.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
In NYC, lots of people are spending over half their
income solely on housing and groceries. The median rent is
three thousand, seven hundred dollars. And I think there's a
lot of assumptions about working in hospitality, that it's temporary,
that it's not your career, that you're young and you
(29:09):
can get by on less.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Being a woman, being a Latino woman in like some
form of an authority role is you know, challenging and
being young, and everyone's just like, oh, you have so
much time ahead of you, and I'm just like, no,
I don't. I have a nine year old child. I
need more for myself. And it's just an ambition that
I don't think anyone really understands, Like when you're young
(29:34):
and you're a teen parent and you're trying to like
make sure you're someone.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yahira faces so many biases of what and where she
should be at her age and as a Latina. People
understand twenty six year olds have ambition, but often think
they have time to get where they're going. As a
young woman in your twenties, you aren't always taken seriously.
I face this at times in my own life and
can empathize. You're seen as cute and at time times undermined.
(30:01):
People assume that you won't be commanding enough to lead.
Being a person of color comes with additional barriers. You're
automatically not associated with occupying a position of power. To me,
it's so frustrating again that other people are the ones
trying to place limits on Yahira instead of asking how
can I help? Do you feel like there's a time
(30:23):
where you felt invisible?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I felt really invisible at that place the hotel slash
private club, which is why just I had to leave.
Like the money was there, I had such great benefits,
Like it was at a loss for me, but I
left ultimately because I did feel invisible. I felt like
I was not seen, I was not heard. Came to
a point where I would be crying every night because
(30:47):
I felt like I was not being taken serious or acknowledged,
and honestly, I wasn't just the opportunity for growth like
you'll see people moving up levels. I had begged in
that place so so many times. Please give me more responsibilities,
like I open up this place. Everyone knows me here.
We can help each other make this place super successful.
(31:09):
Take me serious, like I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I feel her passion and her hunger for success, not
just for herself, but for a team and an establishment
to succeed. And the fact that I can feel it,
I know her dedication is so close to the surface.
She won't be crushed by a shitty manager. She's done
it before. When people doubted that she could go to
college and raise a kid, she proved them wrong. Even
(31:35):
if it's a challenging road, She's never doubted her abilities.
The hospitality industry does not make it easy, but she's
determined to make her way in it and succeed as
a young, ambitious Latina. Of course, though it wouldn't be
nice if people could open their eyes and see it too.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
My mom's always like, hey, maybe you should find yourself
a day job. I work nights, so a lot of
the times my daughter sleeps at their house. It's like, butma, like,
I don't have a day job that I would actually
like to work at, or was just like, I'm happy
where I'm at. You know, I'm finally very happy at
this job I'm working, and I have this like maitre
(32:17):
d slash floor manager position, which ultimately is giving me
what I want in the sense of like title you no,
I have more respect. And they actually just came to
my recent job and they saw like how great of
a space I work at in My mom was just
so happy. She was like, oh my god, Like, if
you're happy, then fine, I'm happy too.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
When you feel seen and appreciated for what you do,
it's a feeling that grounds and fuels you, especially after
so many ups and downs, and there's a sense of
peace when you're immigrant.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
Parents who may.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Have had a particular vision of what they wanted your
life to be acknowledge your version of your happiness. It
feels like with this shift and acceptance, Yeahira has really
been able to dig into exploring who she is as
a full person and be present in her own daughter's life.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
We'll be right back. When do you feel seen.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
With my baby?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Maybaby girl?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
She I think that's the most scene I'll ever feel. Like,
no job, no nothing could ever make me feel as
seen or heard than my beautiful baby girl.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Welcome back today. Yahira lives in Upper Manhattan with her
partner and her daughter. What do you guys enjoy doing
together when you do have time?
Speaker 1 (33:43):
So my daughter loves to dance, So like when we're
home together, we'll just hey, Alexa, play I don't know
any song, and we just start dancing, and like we
pretend like we have an audience and we just start dancing.
And she's like, Mama, wait, She's like, sit down and
let me show you my performance. And I will take
(34:04):
turns so she'll perform for me, and then I'll perform
for her.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Even though I do get nervous.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I get so nervous, and she's like, Mama, don't be shy,
pulls out her iPad and starts recording me. I'm like,
are you kidding me? I'm just here hopping around doing
twirls and spins. And she's just loving it. But you
know what, it makes her happy.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah. Hira told me this playfulness is something she learned
about parenthood from her own mom.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
It's just the way my mom is. She's, you know,
very playful, very you know, hands on. I think it's
your charisma. What she is as a mother is what
I've always hoped to be as a mother growing up.
And I'm not necessarily like her, just because we have
different ideas and I have a different work lifestyle than her,
So my work life balance is not the same, yea
the same or as great as you know, perhaps a
(34:55):
mother should be to some degree, at least in her perspective. Ye.
But overall, you know, I try to do everything like
the way my mom used to you know huge. Yeah,
used to do things with me growing up. That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I think something that's like an underrated quality is the
ability to play.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Yeah, to use your charisma with your kid. Yeah, so
that's huge.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, and you know, just making sure your child always
feels loved and has the attention that they need. But sometimes,
you know, as an adult, life is hard and you
get tired and you just have other things in your head.
So but you just still have to maintain that same
energy for your child no matter what. And that's what
I learned from my mom. I've never seen her not like,
(35:40):
not be playful. I've never seen her not do anything
that puts myself first or my siblings first.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Going from a sixteen year old who is naturally self
centered to an adult who fully sees the sacrifices her
parents made while also understanding her own evolution is a
huge thing. So what did you discover about yourself through
becoming a mom?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Then I'm stronger than what I look.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
And honestly, I think that's where I get most of
my positivity from. It's just because I know I have
a little girl that looks forward to me, and that's
where my mind actually, like my perspective on a lot
of things in life has changed. I take life more
serious now. You know, you're young and you're just like,
nothing happens to you. Like I always thought nothing could
happen to me. So I got pregnant and I'm like, oh,
(36:29):
things can happen to me, And you know, again, it's
just positivity, and I think, no, not, I think I
know that that's what being a mother has taught me.
That like my mind has to be healthy for me
to be a great mom because again me, growing up,
I was a little bit of a hot mess in
my head, but that completely changed once I realized that
(36:53):
I have something to look forward to in life.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
And how has your relationship to mother he hood changed
as you as your kid gets old?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Her? You know, when she was a baby, she was
a baby, she really wouldn't know anything. You know, you
don't really know things in life. Now that she's nine,
you know, she's very attentive to everything. If I wake
up sad one day, she'll con and she's like, like, Mama,
what are you okay? Like why are you sad? So
(37:23):
she notices more things, and so I have to be
more conscious as to how I am and how I
carry myself.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Yeahhira fuels her motherhood and her well being by reminding
herself that she has many things to hold her down,
make her happy, and that she can be proud of.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
I can't just lock myself out and just be a mom.
And honestly, I'm not just a mom, you know, I'm
also young. And I love that for me, and I
love that for my daughter. I want her to know
that there's more to me than just being a mom.
It is the big part of me. But also, you know,
(38:02):
I'm a friend, and I'm a daughter, and I'm a
worker and just I try.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I try so hard.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, And then what's something you enjoy.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
My own personal passion? Like I bought a car year
ago and it's a stick shift. Oh yeah, I'm obsessed
with my car, and I'm obsessed with like driving. So
I love to drive. And I love the fact that
my car is not automatic, so you know that already
gives me like a little edge, So that that's my
(38:32):
favorite thing to do. I love to buy things for
my car. I'm in the process of like customizing it.
Oh yeah, so it brings me so much short I'll
go and I'll sit in my car and not do anything.
I'll just be like, Ah, that's amazing. Car is mine,
my money, my work, my name on it. Yeah, for sure,
the first thing that I own it.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
I love that. Wait, what kind of car.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
It's a twenty eighteen Honda s I and it's a
coop and she's so emoo. I call her the Baddimobile.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
That's so cute. I love that driving stuck is so cool.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
This moment of getting to buy her own car and
take care of it shows how much Yeahirah has accomplished
and how hard she's worked.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
It's also such.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
An iconic moment in the American dream. There's just so
much a treasure and all that Yeahirah has done at
twenty six. Finding growth as a mom and as a
person is something we don't always talk about. We're never perfect,
We're always in process. What are like some of your
hopes and dreams for the future, whether career or family.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I hope to be in a position where I don't
necessarily have to work as much as I do, where
I have the financial stability to be more at home.
Despite knowing that my passion is hospitality, it doesn't necessarily
mean I have to work in a restaurant my whole life. Yeah,
(40:07):
and I hope to reach a level where I don't
have to work at a restaurant my whole life. Another
huge goal that I pray to God that one day
I will be able to accomplish is I want to
open a nonprofit organization for teen parents after being a
teen mom. I was blessed and fortunate enough to, you know,
(40:29):
have my parents support and be able to do everything
that I've done, but not everyone runs that same luck.
And you know, owed some partners support to yeah, yeah,
and my partner support and like, oh, I want to
like with him, Like I want to open up a
nonprofit organization where we help teen parents around the city
(40:50):
with finding a job. And my expertise is hospitality and
like restaurants, and I know I have a lot of
connections to restaurants, you know, just helping these teen parents
getting a job and and you know, maybe one day
open up a little daycare center where my mom is
like the headteacher and watch teen parents' kids while you know,
just I don't know. It's one of my dreams that
(41:12):
obviously it's a rough draft, but it's awesome. But that's
really what I want to do, like at one day
in my life, I just I want to help out
people that are in a similar situation notes which I
was in growing up.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Giving people the things we never had is such a
generous way of making something beautiful grow out of a
difficult situation. What do you hope your daughter takes away
from your story? Oh, in your life, what is one
thing you hope she carries with her.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
To not let anyone doubt her. God knows what situations
she might be in, and I pray to God that
her life is what my parents wanted for me, but
to never let anyone tell her otherwise. She is strong,
and she is powerful, and she is beautiful and she
is smart, and that is what I want her to
Just carry her whole entire life. Whatever it is that
(42:07):
makes her happy, good for you, be happy, but just
don't ever let anyone, like just anyone tell you that
you can't do something, because you can absolutely do anything
in this world anything. And I just want her to
know that this life can be crazy, this world can
(42:27):
be cruel, but she doesn't have to be any of that.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Yeahirah embodies so much of this for her daughter, and
it's clear that Yahira's daughter is now.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Part of the lineage of women and.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
People who choose to be respectful, kind, positive, and confident.
Yahirah reminds me so much of the saying mind over matter.
Her strong will has led her through so many challenging circumstances.
She's taken on life with grace, gratitude, dude, and warmth,
even when the world has tried to push her down
(43:03):
or underestimate her. I learned from Hirah that you can
be bold, ask for, and fight for the life you want,
and that if you never give up on yourself, you
will find a way.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Thank you, Oh my gosh. I appreciate you taking time
out of your day, not what.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
I am so happy to be here, and I just
I don't think I've ever had such a long conversation
about myself ever.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Really, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I am honored.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
Thank you, thank you really.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
For having me in here. And honestly, I think I
did a lot of like self thinking whiles, like just
thinking about certain things about my life, just sitting here
and being asked these questions, but a lot of like
realizations in my head, which I'll be pondering about Wally
Pizza later.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Yeah, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Becoming who you are and learning from those around you,
whether it be your blood or your chosen family, has
been a big theme of the season. Next week is
a season finale, and I'm so excited to introduce you
to my Abuela and my Mom's coming back to the show.
To help translate what would you like us as your
family to know or families that have an elder to know.
Speaker 4 (44:15):
Okay, okay, becasus I said that no, thank.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
That they treat them with all the love in their hearts.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yes, we may be old, but we feel and not
that just because we are at this age in life
we don't have feelings.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
We'll be talking about aging and how her ideas about
women and the world have shifted over a lifetime. See
you next week. Thank you so much for listening to
When You're Invisible. Please leave us a rating and a
review to let us know what you think. You can
find this episode and future on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
(45:02):
or wherever.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
You get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
When You're Invisible is a production of iHeart Podcasts and
my Podura podcast Network. I'm your creator and host Maria
Fernanda Vies. Our story editor is Dylan Hoyer. This season
was produced by Me with additional production from Dylan Hoyer.
Sound designed by Me Maria Fernanda Vies with additional support
(45:25):
from Dylan Hoyer. Mixing and mastering by Laurence Stump. Original
theme music by Tony Bruno. Our executive producers are Anna
Stump and Gisell Banzes, and special thanks to our Lean
Santana
Host
Maria Fernanda Diez
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