December 18, 2023 • 45 mins
Did you love "The Golden Bachelor"?? Jana and her friends hang out with one of the breakout stars of this season, Kathy Swarts!
Jana doesn't hold anything back and we get the real story of why things got so tense between Kathy and Theresa!
Plus, find out how her dating life has changed since going on the show!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Hi Catherine, it's your day.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Day's good. Good, just you know, getting ready for the holidays,
holiday season?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
So whoop do you do you sounds so excited?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
No, No, I am actually really excited. I love the holidays,
and I love the fact that I have my kids
for Christmas Eve. So that's going to be fun. You
have them this year? I do, So It's just and
that was one of the things that I thought of
when I was moving into here. I'm like, Okay, get
my kids in the new house on Christmas Eve, yeah
and Christmas morning. Like that's just the dream, right, It
(00:45):
is so good. I'm excited for you. Are you stressed?
Are you done with shopping? Like what's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I mean, I'm actually not stressed, and I'm pretty much
done shopping, which is a first for me.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I know, I'm on top of it. This year.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I basically did it all Black Friday. Oh yeah online.
I mean you can't beat this, yeah, both deals.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
But now I'm not stressed.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I'm like towing that line of like really wanting to
do a lot and be social and then also not
put too much on my plate and be present, you know.
It's such a It's like, I really want to see
my friends this year, and really I don't want to
just like shut off, you know. But then I'm like,
how do you balance this like actually being home and
you know you know, yeah, but everyone's trying to balance
(01:28):
in the season.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
How's Nick.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
He's good, He's good.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
He's nothing.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's very exciting. No, I'm trying to think. So you're like,
are we at a month.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Or well, when this airs, we're at a month with Roman,
but when this airs, it'll be a month. And when
is this air? This airs? This airs next next week.
So yeah, he's he's He'll be five weeks next week.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So like, how are you feeling? Because that's like a
big I feel like that month to six weeks is
just such like a I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I hear footsteps. I too, and she's probably going to
be coming a hot, coming in hot. He's ope, she's
still come outstairs. She went down the shoe downstairs, going
up the stairs. No, I uh, it's good. I think
it's one of those things where we're just now figuring
it out with schedules and stuff, and it's going to
(02:22):
be really interesting what we do in the new year
when work actually comes up. Yeah, because it's one of
those things where when I was when we were planning
for a new wind down dates and like, oh yeah,
I don't have the kids that weekend. Oh wait, I
always have.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
He will always have it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
That is such a change she has changed. And again
I'm so grateful obviously, but I've had the I don't
want to say I would never have called this a
luxury before, but to be able to schedule things knowing
I don't have kids a certain weekend.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Like we would schedule like, these are the weekends I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Have the kid, we would schedule yeah, wind down on
the non mic or either on on Mike weekends. Right.
So now it's like, oh no, oh wait, wait told up,
wait a minute. Uh so yeah, So just trying to
figure out because what I also want to what I'm
mindful of now. I like your socks KB, mister cute.
One of my things. I don't know if you girls
(03:13):
do this with your husbands or not, but what I
would like to have is what I give to them.
So what I will say is on days, I'll go, hey,
what do you have today? So I can be mindful
of your schedule because I want that same thing back.
So I usually put it out there to then have
it then be reciprocated, because if not, if they come
(03:36):
and go, oh, I'm doing this, and I'm like, whoa,
I have I I have work to do too. I'm
not just to be here and he's never done that.
But like I had, I knew that was something that
would be in the past where I go, oh, that
was an issue because I just then felt like the
nanny and I'm and I have to work as well,
so I don't want it to just be put on
on on my plate. So I so every night essentially,
(03:58):
I say, hey, what do you have tomorrow? So we
can plan out our day so I'm a I get
ahead of being passive or being angry that my stuff
isn't looked at.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
So knowing you you have to have some kind of plan.
What is the plan when y'all are both working?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't know. I genuinely don't know. I've I've talked
to the preschool, but I don't as much as I
was like, hey, I've gone to price school. I don't know,
but I also don't want to. I don't also don't
want a nanny. So but I need help because it's
a million dollars. It's very expensive. I don't like people
in my space. I when I do, Like, something happened
(04:35):
the other night where I'm so specific with my schedule
and that's one thing I thought I was going to
be more leaning on. I'm not.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
And that's fine. With the baby schedule, Yes, oh I
knew you wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
It's fine. Isn'tly okay with that? Like because too my
kids were amazing scheduled.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I wasn't different with the third with the schedule, So
I'm not coming down on you.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, so I'm like, but at first I was like, ah,
it's gonna be fine. I s no, I'm still like,
why aren't they gys closed? Should be in the.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Consistency for your own life, because you are right and
there is things to schedule.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah. So it's just sometimes I just so that's the thing.
I don't know. I don't want to have a full
time because I don't need full time. I'd also don't
want to pay for full time. But I also don't
know if I want to go straight into the daycare
because that it's just so it's like once once January hits,
then we'll maybe know more about Alan's schedule because he's
really ramping up with coaching and stuff. And it's one
(05:28):
of those conversations like the other day, it's like, oh,
I got this coaching thing. I'm like, oh great, okay,
well I have this on this same so now we
need we not just I we will And he's like, again,
so good about it. I just know that I do
those things to then put it out there to go, Okay,
let's both figure this out. And he reciprocates, which I'm
so thankful of. He's like, well, I'll move I'm no, no, no, no,
(05:49):
here's the thing. I'm not asking you to move anything. Now.
Your thing is not more important than my thing, and
my thing is not more important than your thing. Let's
just figure this out together. Ye, we can just And
I like that.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
I think it's difficult too, when like their jobs require
travel and out of the house, and a lot of
what you do is in your home but you're working, right.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And then the other piece is traveling uptown too, right
for wind downs and stuff.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
But it's oh, well, you're here today, but you're not
here today, you're just in the building.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Well and then a preschool doesn't solve that problem.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Well, because here's the problem with the preschools is again,
when how last minute do we get things? Yeah, exactly,
I don't, and you have to watch well, thank you
and I love you and I'm going to definitely use that,
but I can't do that when I'm going to shoot
a movie or so. It's like we're going to figure
it out. Yeah, and I have no doubt that we will.
But I was just curious when it comes to do
(06:43):
you guys put out things to then get that received back.
Is there a situation where you're like, I'm going to
do this and I don't know if that's a healthy thing,
but I do it just so I don't become passive.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
I think we well, I'll say this and I don't
know if therapist Amy would sanction this, but I am
default primary parent, Like it's happening this week. I have
something that I had planned for a month and he's
now planned something and so I'm my friends, I'm coming.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
No, it's my fault though, but here's what I'll say.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Sorry, no, no, no, no, I this is what is
valuable and what has saved my marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I should have to call you to ask, talk to
you about it. Answer there can be no, there's one
of there's one of these a week.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
This is what I'm saying, and this what's great about this,
though I promise I.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Have that this is a solution.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
I always default till.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I'm primary parent, and so I learned a couple of
years ago in order to not resent him, I cover
everything as if I can't count on him to be
with the kid. Though his life is like your life though,
I mean it's like last minute, it's calls.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
That's a lot of last minute shows, right, I mean
that's a.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Lot of the like I used to be is to
the mom that's very.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Common, used to get make it shows up quite a bit, right.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
But I plan it all sure it literally the calendar
says right, bick take, I take whatever, and then I
have to ask. But yes, I still think the scheduling
and the planning always falls on that.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
But I also think, like women, I just want to
share it because I think sometimes it looks like one
way and it's just not like I know that's my
it's he would do it if he could. Guys, I'm
not making money, he's he's the primary breadwinner. So I
just think, like I had to learn, where do I
get resentful? I get resentful when my things don't feel
(08:33):
important and or not asked about, like hey, how did X,
Y and Z go? Yeah, So now I'm going, Okay,
my things are important to me, and that's where I
have to start. And so I just get it, like everything.
I already had coverage for this week based on if
he could be there, if he couldn't, because if it
wasn't this, it would be something. That's what I've learned.
(08:55):
It's a call, especially management. Right now, Catherine, what are
you up to a client? It's like it's another show impromptu,
you know, like, and that's just all of our worlds.
And I think everybody has that fluctuation in their own
corner of the world, whether it's I mean, not all
of us are shooting movies, right, that's not normal.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Hopefully ramp it up.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
I just think we have to do what we know
to help ourselves too. Like what you're saying, like you
ask him so that he can reciprocate. I will say,
now Preston does ask how do the podcast go? He
didn't super ask about Matthew McConaughey. But that's Okay, yeah,
a little we had a little jealousy.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Guy, did you start asking after he was on? Can I? Yes?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
But can I share this embarrassing?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:44):
This is embarrassing for him, not for me. He's like,
oh yeah, yeah, you guys, if this doesn't show true colors.
Today was that podcast with like Michael McConaughey or whatever, Yeah,
shut up and oh well Michael, okay, like that's a
how this whole name Matthew mcgoney, what are you saying?
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Anyways?
Speaker 4 (10:03):
I think we just have to run, especially in the
season of holidays, we have to run tight d for ourselves,
do what we need to do to feel supported and
loved on. It's a sacred season of advent. We're all
getting spread thin, you.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Know, and I think what works for one doesn't work
for the other. I think you have to figure out
what your system is, you know, and you're figuring it
out with Alan and talking. I mean, y'all are obviously
gonna have figure out some more and how y'all are
gonna have help?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
But as actually, so how are you who's watching out
figure it out?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
But also so new too, like new babies, it just
takes a minute to like get your rhythm back, especially
with a big break we've had.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yeah, well, and you don't know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And then there's that piece like what's Alan's work gonna
look like exactly? You know, I mean that's a huge
question and that you know has a lot to do
with it. But like you can go default parent. I
am right, essentially default parent, but I'm planning fifty to
fifty Leean, the both of us is basically like it's
understood that he takes them in the morning. It's understood
(11:05):
that I get them in the afternoon. If that doesn't work,
we talk about it, you know. I mean, it's just
like you kind of figure out your systems or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
But I still have to work on the season for
asking help?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Oh it's coming?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
What season forties? No? The asking for help? How this baby? Mmm,
I'm worse. I did it.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
I can't. I can't ask for help or not. Other
people like you're still an issue, You're not good at it. No,
same getting the last month or two is really done.
A little bit of a blow up about it, but
maybe we'll talk about it and not. This is not Alan,
this is just yeah, I don't even know. I mean, yeah,
(11:50):
it's just hard because we pupe some people in boxes
that would think they wouldn't be helpful.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Anyways, this is why we're best friends. I already know everything.
You're not going to say that's fine.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Oh goodness gracious. So we're going to take a We're
going to take a break and maybe we'll we'll touch
that one on a live one. I think we should
when it's not recorded. We've had some time, did I Yes, Okay,
let's take a break and then let's get Kathy Swarts
on you guys. She was on the Golden Bachelor, which
(12:22):
I'm excited to get her on because she was a
little bit of a feisty one. So let's take a
break and get her on there s.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Hi. Here, I am in my Christmas bread.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I love it, and I'm in my Christmas black. I'm sorry, Kathy, that's.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Not very spiritual.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Every week one of us will throw on a little
bit of another neutral and.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Day it goes from everything. Right.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yes, First of all, how are you? Because I feel
like you've been on quite the press train lately, so
from the all the airings of the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It's I'm fine. It has been the most fun adventure
I've ever had. I don't require a lot of sleep,
So I'm good. I'm good.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I was reading an article I think this was in People,
but you said, so you came she I'm gonna quoite here.
Kathy All's emphasized that she came to the show with
the intention of falling in love. And you said, I
think that when you meet someone. I mean, Jerry is
a very good looking guy, there's no doubt about it.
But I think as you get to know someone, you
look at that person and you make some judgments. And
(13:38):
you said you were happily married almost forty six years,
and my husband took his life by suicide. And it
just my heart broke when I read that, because I
can't imagine being with someone for forty six years and
then going through what you Oh honey.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, I'm just thinking what you're saying. So I
met my husband, just have to. I turned eighteen, and
in that way, Gary and Teresa and I we all
share that common you know, just after high school sweethearts.
And I was married ten days after I turned twenty
(14:13):
and was married just sort of my forty six years.
And you know, no marriage is perfect, but we had
we had a really good life together and three great kids.
And you know, it's it's really hard, and but I
treasure every day now. I think that's one of the
(14:36):
reasons I went on the Golden Bachelor. Yes, to find love,
but but I just don't say no opportunity anymore. You know,
if if if opportunity comes my way, I try to
take it.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
How long have you been single for.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
He It will be five years in February.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Years in February. Okay, has that journey to opening yourself
up been incredibly hard? Because again, I just I can't
imagine being with them for so long and then going
back out into the dating world, which is a terrible
and terrifying world.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Terror can be. I mean, there's a lot of words
I would use to talk about dating at my stage
in life, but really, you know, my daughter's friends we talk.
It's they kind of say the same thing. It's it's
like looking for a needle in a haystack. I say,
it's like looking for a quarter of a needle in
a haystack. You know, It's it's not easy. But I've
(15:27):
had a wonderful relationship. I've had a great guy, and
and I have a lot of energy, and I have
a lot of life and i want this last chapter
of my life to be as good or better than
any other time in my life. And I'm not going
to quit until I find it. And i may not
find it, you know, I have to accept that too.
(15:49):
But probably giving you more than what you want. But
that's one of the things I came away with from
the show. I'm I am a complete person. I don't
need someone to complete me. I want someone to walk
hand in hand with me, not in front of me,
not behind me. And but I'm happy with what I have.
(16:11):
I have a rich life with two granddaughters and you know,
three great kids, and I'm really active and I do
a lot of things. So yeah, I mean, is it
really fun going out to dinner with you know, a
guy who has whipped cream or mashed potatoes and his
beard and doesn't know it? You know, not really, but
it's you know, it's what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
You're basically saying you've got a lot of love around you,
but you want a companion.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, I would like to find that. All these things
sound so trite when you say them, but the sunsets
are beautiful, you know, when you go to the beach.
I want someone that's holding my hand as I walk
down on the beach. I want to share that sunset
with somebody. I want to go skiing and not just
ski down the mountain by myself. I want, you know,
I want to look forward or backward in my case,
(16:58):
look forward and see some but they are, you know,
waiting for me. I want to do things with someone,
so we'll see.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
So from the show, Well, first of all, who did you?
Did your kids get you on the show or did
you apply?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
I applied. I plead guilty God for you, my daughter again.
It was one of the things I saw it on
Facebook and I thought I can do that, And I
think I'm just I think I loved life so much,
especially since my husband died. I don't take one day
for granted. And I saw that as an opportunity to
(17:40):
maybe meet, you know, the final love of my life.
But I knew it would be an adventure and I'm
and I was not disappointed.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
So did you like how they edited you or would
or is there something because I know they obviously showed
the zip it thing and.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Zip it Yeah you're feisty.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah you're feisty, And I think there was a lot
of everyone to talked about how there was the great
relationships and everyone was cozy and comfy and all those things.
But do you feel like they kind of painted you
as the as the one I don't want to say villain,
but the one you.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Know, I am the least villainous villain you're ever going
to meet.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, I've seen the other shows, so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
You know, not not really. I Teresa is a lovely person.
She she and Gary are so happy together. We had
a moment. I mean truly, it was a moment where
you put everyone in this environment where you're all vying
for the same guy, and I literally it was palpable.
(18:40):
You could see that Gary and Teresa had a connection
right from the beginning, and in fact, I did tell
her that I think it was maybe it was right
after her her one on one I had told her
that that she that I would come to her wedding
and I be throwing rose petals. I mean, it was
(19:02):
that clear. So I don't care how they People who
know me know that I'm full of love, full of life.
I do say what I think. I'm a straight shooter.
I can't deny those things. I'm from Boston. I'm a
Yankee at heart. What can I say? But no, it's fine,
(19:23):
it's fine. I think every show people love me or
hated me.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Did you how old are your grand babies, Kathy?
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I have won almost eight months and one five years old.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Okay, I wonder. I know they call you Kiki, which
is what my daughter says. My kids, her kids will
call me, which I thought was so cute. But I
wondered if they're like, Kiki, are you dating? I'm like,
I'm wondering if you're getting the grandkids shaked down to cool.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
So my five year old says, Kiki, I saw you
on TV? Why are you on TV? And I said, well,
Kiki went to be on a show to have ventures
and meet people. And and she barely remembers her grandfather.
She was, you know, she was seven months when he
I mean, she really doesn't remember him. She was seven months,
(20:09):
but we show her pictures so it's like, why why
are you doing that? Kicking and then she'll walk around
going zip it.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
It comes back.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Have you seen an increase in male interest.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Because usually after publicity, I mean, like being on a
show like that, that was my that was I was like,
I wonder if someone's sliding it. Like, if you don't
have an instag, get an Instagram?
Speaker 3 (20:34):
I have Instagram?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Are the people dming you getting in there?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I've had four and one was a thirty two year old,
very good looking dud, and I did have to point
out to him that I had children older than he,
so that was one thing. Then I had a forty
year old baseball player, same notice the first.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Guy, that's true.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
And then I had a daughter reached out on behalf
of her dad.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Oh I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
I but guess what I never heard from dad?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Did you give her the phone number?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Because I feel like Dad might not be We don't
actually want him to be super savvy on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
You know, it's great his phone number and reach out
to him. Who cares.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
There's a guy, another guy that has which is funny.
He's in his late fifties and as we all know
now the world knows, Kathy is seventy. And this guy
reached out to a friend of mine. He knows her,
and he said, you know, she's she's so pretty, she's
she might be too too young for me?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Is that a pickup line? Kathy? I don't know what
to do with that.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
You know what, that's going to be my next pickup
line exactly. You know you're too young for me, but okay,
let's try it. So yeah, that's been the extent of it.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So is there someone in the entertainer meant because now
you can call yourself you know, you're an entertainment girl.
So is there someone that you've kind of always gone ooh,
I kind of think he's cute and maybe and that
you know is single, that you know, because we could
just reach right now to him on the show and
just go hey, Like.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
I mean, honestly, I know because most of the men
you know, I that are that I find attractive are married.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
And I don't mean that in any no, for sure,
for sure.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
But honestly for me, yes, let's stay ask me that
you know on the show looks so important to me.
But my biggest nightmare would be going on one of
those shows where you can't see the person, like I
have to be attractive when I first meet them.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Right, Yeah, we actually have talked about that here too.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
I do think there's some validity to that, Like I remember,
I remember the moment I met my husband, second husband.
For what it's worth, Kathy and I like the world
stopped for me. And I wasn't my type or anything,
but there is something too, like the actual instinctual.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Attraction you have.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
How long you been married?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Eight We've been together nine years now eight years, it's
eight years married.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
It was all fast, but.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Well, that's why I believe that Golden Bachelor. You people asked, ridiculous.
Oh no, I believe it. I met my husband at
a frat party and the room was filled with single
guys carrying red cups. And I scanned the room and
I saw him, and I was with a friend of mine.
I said, I'm going to marry that guy. And I did.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I just it was just this immediate attraction when I
saw him and he saw me. So I know, maybe
that makes me a little you know.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
It doesn't. It doesn't because I have a recording that
I'm going to when I do marry my fiance. I
have a recording the It was like two or three
days after I met him. I recorded to have a timestamp.
I was like, I know, this is crazy all, but
I'm going to marry him.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I was just thinking about that because for the Christmas party,
yeah popped up. Yeah, last year when You're like, Okay,
you're gonna think I'm crazy, but I'm going to marry
this guy.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
I was like, yeah, you are.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I believe here we are, there's four of us here.
I believe that you can fall in love quickly. And
uh so, you know I have time. I mean the
clock's ticking, but I have time.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
No, I can't believe you're seventy. I know you're great.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Thank you, Yeah, thank you. I'm you know, I have
make up, hair dye.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Listen. None of us are going on natural over here either, But.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
I mean that word is not even in my vocabulary.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
I don't at right now.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Horns, juice, maybe natural, That's about where I drop that one.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
That's fair. I just think you look so stunning.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
I'd imagine too, because you're so energetic, Like it does
matter to meet someone in person, because you need someone
that can keep up with you and has same charisma
for life as you do.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
And I have to say when I when I people
always ask me, would you want to be the golden bachelorette?
Who you wouldn't want to be the golden bachhorette in
a room with twenty two guys? Okay, I'll do that,
But as I've said, and I'll say to you it
would be a challenge to find twenty two guys who
(25:14):
could keep up with me.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
So here's my question, because you are you know, like
I feel like as we get older and we're all
forties here, yeah, well again not natural.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Cat's gonna say I'm only thirty nine.
Speaker 5 (25:28):
It gets weird when I'm like thirty nine for a time.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
But as I've gotten older, like I've just realized my
window of tolerance for certain things is so much lower.
And it's I even people I want to be friends with,
which it sounds like mean or something, but it's like
you can kind of instantly know andtutally who you're connected
to and who you're not.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
So does that feel that way to you?
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Like I can't imagine, by the way, my allergy to
the gender as a whole when I met my husband
was so off the charts, like I thought, there's no
way I'll get married again. It's I had raised husband,
I was exhausted, So I imagined by seventy you're like, okay, dude,
you know, like, how do you feel when you walk
into a room. Can you kind of scan quickly and
go this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
This is and do they ever? Do they at this
point too? Is it the same stuff? Like they don't communicate, Well,
you have to. You have to teach them because we
have dietary restrictions.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Like I'm exhausted for you.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Let's just be honest. You know, it's always take your
damn plate to the sink, pick up move you know
you're hog in the bed? You know, can you find
the hamper for your clothes? I mean, come on, it's
I don't care if you're seven or seventy. That's just me.
But I will say that my tolerance, in some ways
(26:43):
I've gotten become much more tolerant with age, and in
some ways I'm like two pieces of Sooran wrap. Like tolerance.
I think that no one's perfect. My husband, as great
as he was, was not perfect. And so I think
(27:04):
I just realized now it's more about so the man
that I'm looking for, Please God, or it would be
a miracle, there will be no more children, So you know,
you don't have those kinds of issues to work around.
It's more about shared values and how we want to
spend our time together. So I think the process is
(27:25):
a little bit different when you get to be my age.
But I think I think the instantaneous attraction that I
think all that stasts the same. But like, for example,
I don't want to cook every night. And in fact,
when I was on the dating maps, that was like
my first thing. If you're looking for a cook, I'm out, like, no,
(27:47):
I'm not going to dinner every night. That's I don't.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Want to unless you want a bowl of cereal. But
that's all I got for you.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
There's cheerios and oatmeal. Go figure it out. But I
love the idea of having, you know, a glass of
wine or you know, tequila and soda and cooking together.
I love that idea of having that kind of companionship.
But I don't want to. I've raised three kids. I
really I can't raise another husband. I can.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
So I wonder, because now all of our wheels are
turning and we're just going to note you as a person,
as a player in our friend game here and now
we'll keep our eyes open. But I'm wondering, if you
could pick like an ideal next partner, would they be
a golfer?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Do you love tennis? Like?
Speaker 5 (28:35):
What are your favorite things?
Speaker 4 (28:36):
Kind of non negotiable, like you have to do this
with me, or we do a lot of life separate.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
So I look at a little bit differently. I'm open
to anything. The only non negotiation it can't be a smoker.
I cannot cigarette smoke.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Just what about cigars? I know, I know men like cigars.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
I smoked cigars, so my husband did, so I sort
of have a soft spot for cigars.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
So we'll let a cigar pass.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
What a cigar smoker slide by? But I'll say anything.
You know, I do play golf, and I played pickleball
Gary and I did win that contest with Ellen. I
love to bake. I baked from scratch. I love to
(29:22):
need a I hike. I love mountainous hiking, rigorous hiking.
I walk five miles a day.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
When's your birthday?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Do you want to guess?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Sagittarius? Are you sad or you're not? Clarious?
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Taurus the bull?
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Oh, my friend from home is a Taurus. This is
all very on brand.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
When's her birthday?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
She's May fish teenth, that's my sister's I'm May ninth. Okay, okay,
love it? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yeah, but yeah, so adventure. You want adventure and you
can do it on your own.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
You know, I can do it on my own. But again,
I like doing things with people. Yeahah, but there's nothing
I like a bicycle. There's if I want a guy
who wants you've heard my thing, I'm used.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
To guys, right, I didn't hear that one.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Okay, So the men I find a lot of them
are used to guys. They used to play tennis, they
used to sit on the sofa. So I don't want
to used to guy I want. It doesn't he doesn't
have to be good at it. He just has to
have interest. He has to I love to kayak. You know,
(30:45):
I have a two man kayak. It's sitting there because
you know, I don't have anyone to go out. I mean,
I have girlfriends I got with, but I just want
someone who is willing to get up and take take
the day and do stuff. Because we only get this
one one spend. You know, we only get this one shot,
so don't waste it.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
And I know this is a big, wide world now,
But would you do long distance?
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I would? I mean, I as on the show, most
of us are not prepared to pack up and leave
our homes permanently, but that there's this little thing called
an airplane, and you know you can fly and come
back and see. Ideally, Ideally, I mean, if we're, if
we're you know, it is Christmas time, it is Sonica.
(31:34):
Let's just let's just throw it out there and see
what wish has come true. I would I would find
a guy who has children and grandchildren where we could
meld our families together and spend time in both locations.
That to me would be idyllic dream.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I think we should be ideal and say what you want, yeah,
and put it out there.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Sit on Santa's lap and tell him your next guy.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
We got to be off, Kathy. If so obviously, like
you said, anyone will want to be you know, the
next Golden Bachelorette or that the you know, the the
you know, the new one, the one and only. Essentially, uh,
what if it's not you, who would you want to
have that role?
Speaker 3 (32:18):
You know you're That's not the first time I've been
asked that question. I know those ladies so well, Susan
and Nancy and I have a really strong friendship, so
of course I would love to see one of them
be the Golden Bacheuette. I think, uh, you know, faith,
(32:40):
all the faith doesn't really want to leave home. But
you know, Faith is a lovely person. Leslie, as we
all know, is heartbroken. I would love to see Leslie, honestly,
I'd like to see any of them after me because
the love starts right behind me.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I love it. I personally would like to see a
golden Paradise that because you know, because there's the bachelor
in paradise. That would be super fun to do the
like that. I would, I just would. I would love that,
and that that would give you more opportunity to have
more men.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Uh huh. The problem is this body is not putting
on a bikini.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Well, first of all, there is this one wraps and
stuff too, you know, a little so wrong and hope
we could get there. How about this? And then there
you go ABC. It's yeah, so it's like a an
adventuross golden and golden and snow, I don't know, gold.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Beach ski day. One day you're up in the mountains
hiking and the afternoon come down the ocean, go swimming.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
Yeah, well real fast based on physical capability that way.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
And you know what, you can almost you can almost
look and tell guy true story. I did a guy
for a very short period of time, but he wanted
to take me to Florida, and he's fit. He sat
in the hotel room, in the hotel room on his computer.
(34:19):
Do you need to ask a relationship ended? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Did you leave like immediately?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I made friends down on the beach, I had a.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I still I made it. I had a terror.
I went to Cabo one time with someone and it
was just not great. I still talk to the people
that I met on that Cabo trip.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Isn't it crazy?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
How your great vacation friends. That's funny.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
If you had one piece of advice, because you have lived,
not even by age, just by circumstance, a lot of life,
like a deep, rich life. You have grandkids, you have kids.
You also were married to someone you've that's a tragedy.
That loss is not just, you know, a loss, it's
you didn't get to probably say things you wanted to say.
So what would your advice be to anybody listening that
(35:05):
is younger than you?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Oh? Boy, I mean I have a lot of advice,
but I think if we're talking about dating, I think
the best piece of advice I could give is live
live your own life, do the things you love, and
the right people will come into your life, be who
(35:28):
you are, be your authentic self, and if you're doing
the things you love, you have the best chance of
meeting other people that will love you for who you are.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
That's really beautiful advice. And then what about marriage advice?
What's something that you was your biggest lesson that you
learned with or struggle that you learned well?
Speaker 3 (35:50):
In my case, I needed to learn to zip it
a lot.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
I don't like that advice. Next, next piece of advice.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I think, honestly, in marriage, all these things you know
when you talk about these these things that are all
tried and true, they're tried and true pieces of advice
because they've worked over the years. And I have nothing
new under the sun to say other than marriage is compromise.
Any relationship is compromise and communication, and that looks very
(36:20):
different for different people. How do you best communicate? How
do you you know? How are you going to compromise?
Because if you're always demanding it your way, that's just
not going to work. So I really think those things
like communicating with your partner, really talking things through and
(36:43):
finding the common ground and knowing that it's better for
each of you to be somewhat happy than one person
miserable and the other one elated because they got their way.
I think that's what I learned. Compromise.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah, I like that. I think that's what I need
to do a little better.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
I'm trying. Yeah, same, I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
But also you guys again, you run the ship.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Wait hard to compromise, ladies, because.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Our way is the right way.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
No, we're right.
Speaker 5 (37:15):
They get to me. Let's hang out.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
I'll go boat with you and play pickleball with you,
you little fox in the neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I live right like Austin. We can get walked down
like Austin. And the weather's great this time. You do
not want to come in the summer.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Ever, Well, we're in Nashville, so.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
You're in Nashville. I don't quite that.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
We love it.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
Can I tell you another truism? Please, I've just had
to accept it and still live my best life and
be grateful for every day I have. But the truism is,
we do live in a society where there's a lot
of agism. You know. I don't look at you and
say you're thirty nine. Wow, you look great, because we
(38:02):
both you don't think thirty nine. She looks great period, right,
not fear age, but seventy. So we live in that
siding and I have to accept that, and that's fine.
But men who are not rolling quarters, you know from
their change at the grocery store, if they have any
(38:25):
any And I'm not talking wealth here, I'm just saying,
you know, guys that have their acts together, they don't
want to date me. They want a sixty year old.
If they're seventy, they want a sixty year old. I can't,
you know. And if I were seventy and some sixty
year old guy, the good looking athletic was like, Kathy,
you're the woman of my dreams. I'd probably go for that.
(38:46):
So I can't you know, can't blame them for that?
Well I can, but it's not going to get me anywhere.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Now.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
We see that too in our age group.
Speaker 4 (38:54):
I've had a lot of single friends that you know,
are stunning forty year old women. I mean, just a
complete package, independent, brilliant. Some of them even have abs,
which I'm not sure how that's attained. But still they're
going to like our age group, or even ten years older,
and they're going, oh, they want nothing to do with me.
They want someone in their thirties, and I'm like, what
is happening?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
And I just tell you my son is about to
get married in March, remarried. He's divorced.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Oh does he?
Speaker 3 (39:23):
He is thirty eight, Okay, and he is marrying a
woman who is forty eight.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Good for him.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
I love her. She has kids, he has a five
year old daughter. I think, Susan newsflash, maybe might marry them.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
I'll just say this to me, that's you raise someone.
He sees a strong, independent, beautiful you know, like that's
that's and he likes that trait in you, Yeah, which
is why he picked I like that you say.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
He is a great guy. You know, when my husband
passed away, he yoleaned on him hard, I mean, really
helped me in so many ways get through that. All
my kids did. But you know, he lives here, and
my daughter lives here, and then my other son lives
in upstate New York. But yeah, and I love her.
She is lovely and they make a great pay and
(40:18):
so I don't really think age is It's just hard
to overcome that in our culture because it's just what
it is.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Well, Kathy, thank you for coming on. We really really
really appreciate it. And we look forward to seeing the
golden in the mountains.
Speaker 5 (40:37):
Kathy, if we hook you up with your next husband,
can we be bridesmaids?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Marinate on it. We don't even answer right now.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I don't have to think absolutely. And I have a question.
You can't let me. Where are your fathers?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Oh, my father's well, anyone.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Your age is not going to date me. Your father's,
your uncles, what are they doing well?
Speaker 4 (40:59):
My dad passed away two years ago, And I will
say this, Kathy, you would have just I know I'm
trying to not have enough energy for what that would
have been, even if he was to munched.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Dad's a good dad, single, but I don't know that
he's doing all the things you're doing.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Maybe he bit fire, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
We'll see, I don't know. Come to Nashville, maybe we'll
try it out.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I will say, my dad finally got it right and
has an amazing wife. He took as a hot second.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Let me just say that really makes me happy. And people,
you didn't ask me, But I just want to say
one thing. People always ask me about Gary and Teresa,
And you know what, I look at them, and I
look at the way they look at each other. I'm
so happy for them. They are so sweet, gently in love.
You can just see it. It's palpable. You can see it,
(41:46):
you can feel it. That's what I want. And so
for you to say that your dad is happily married,
that's what That's what I want for everyone. Like that's joyful.
That is really lovely to hear that. So congrats to them.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Well, she still has to put his dishes in the
sink every time, Like when I go to his house,
I'm like, Dad, it's not that a thing hard put
your bowl. Compromise, I'm like, and I go, Laura, don't
touch it. Do not touch that in my sink. Dad,
Go put your bowl and put it in the distrusher.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
But wait, I'll be your dad does other things for
her that make up for not putting the ball in
the sink. That's what I mean by compromise. You know,
if literally it's a slug, which I'm sure he isn't,
then you know, okay, that's a different story. But you know,
if he brings I'm making it up. If he brings
her coffee in bed in the morning, or you know,
(42:36):
goes to the gross store and brings her home flowers.
I can deal with them. I can deal with the bowl.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
You know.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, that's sure, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Important things in bowls, it's really yeah.
Speaker 5 (42:48):
Still put it in dishrusher and bring me coffee.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
To say, but really, in real life, bring me the
damn flowers and put the bowl right.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Kathy, I love you, and I'm to find someone. I
have a feeling I like when God knits people together
like this, it's for a reason.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
I love chatting with you, guys. I love come to Austin.
Will all go kayaking. I'll take you so fun. You
can be my wing women.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Yeah, yeah, so fun.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
We're there.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Awesome. Well, thank you, Kathy, really appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
I really enjoyed chatting with you guys. So long happy holidays.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh gosh, I want to go to the bar and
beer wing woman. That'd be so much fun. I really
feeling for some.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
Reason we're going to be the ones that know someone
that marries Kathy.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I mean, let's yeah, I just got to think about it.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Her energy is amazing.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I wonder, like that's what I always wonder. It's like
her energy is so palpable and wonderful, like it's got
to be hard to find someone that lives at that level.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
I also learned a very valuable lesson today. What's that
Earlier when we were talking to her, when we asked
how old, I said, you look great? Oh shoot, And
then she brought that up and I was like, oh
my gosh, that's so true. I mean, it's just a
good point. Like I didn't mean it in any you know,
I didn't mean it in a bad way, but it's
just kind of how we are.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Well. I say, though I get hurt, like not to like.
But when I said them forger like you, oh, I
would have said you're like early thirty. I mean, I
never make me feel old.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
I definitely think it happens in every age every but
also it's true it is, you know, ages on.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I guess at the end of the day.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
But I told people I'm gonna start saying I'm fifty
because I look great.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
For I don't think people mean anything by it, and
it doesn't bother but there's truth to that for sure.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
It's It's almost like when you when we talk about wait, yeah,
and when like yeah, last way and I said, oh
my god, Catherine, you looked so good, and like, what
did I look like before? Yeah, and it's that same
kind of thing. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, I don't
mean no, just like that means that you didn't mean
to Yeah. Absolutely, she does look great for seventy Yeah,
but also as we.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Mean it as a compliment. Ninety percent of the time
when something like that is said, the person means it
as a compliment.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
Yeah. Just can be so interesting in different ways. She's
a light.
Speaker 5 (45:03):
Yeah, she has to be bridesmaid.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
So I'm on a much energy. I love it. I
need you to be my bridesmaid, first friend.
Speaker 5 (45:10):
And anything you want to share with.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, we got an email coming out to everyone. Okay,
listeners are just awesothing you guys. But I mean, hey,
if everyone wants to come, let's do it. Okay, I'll
be your bridesmaid anywhere.
Speaker 4 (45:23):
You know that. I was like, it could be in
your backyard. I truly don't care, thank you. I also
would just put on an earpiece and resurrect my old
former event self. We did ask someone to the person
to marry us that we want to marry us. It's
gonna be I'm super excited. I'm not telling you who
it is.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
I had a feeling.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
I'm here. I love you.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Guys okay, Bye bye,
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Hi Catherine, it's your day.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Day's good. Good, just you know, getting ready for the holidays,
holiday season?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
So whoop do you do you sounds so excited?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
No, No, I am actually really excited. I love the holidays,
and I love the fact that I have my kids
for Christmas Eve. So that's going to be fun. You
have them this year? I do, So It's just and
that was one of the things that I thought of
when I was moving into here. I'm like, Okay, get
my kids in the new house on Christmas Eve, yeah
and Christmas morning. Like that's just the dream, right, It
(00:45):
is so good. I'm excited for you. Are you stressed?
Are you done with shopping? Like what's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I mean, I'm actually not stressed, and I'm pretty much
done shopping, which is a first for me.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I know, I'm on top of it. This year.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I basically did it all Black Friday. Oh yeah online.
I mean you can't beat this, yeah, both deals.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
But now I'm not stressed.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I'm like towing that line of like really wanting to
do a lot and be social and then also not
put too much on my plate and be present, you know.
It's such a It's like, I really want to see
my friends this year, and really I don't want to
just like shut off, you know. But then I'm like,
how do you balance this like actually being home and
you know you know, yeah, but everyone's trying to balance
(01:28):
in the season.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
How's Nick.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
He's good, He's good.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
He's nothing.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's very exciting. No, I'm trying to think. So you're like,
are we at a month.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Or well, when this airs, we're at a month with Roman,
but when this airs, it'll be a month. And when
is this air? This airs? This airs next next week.
So yeah, he's he's He'll be five weeks next week.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So like, how are you feeling? Because that's like a
big I feel like that month to six weeks is
just such like a I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I hear footsteps. I too, and she's probably going to
be coming a hot, coming in hot. He's ope, she's
still come outstairs. She went down the shoe downstairs, going
up the stairs. No, I uh, it's good. I think
it's one of those things where we're just now figuring
it out with schedules and stuff, and it's going to
(02:22):
be really interesting what we do in the new year
when work actually comes up. Yeah, because it's one of
those things where when I was when we were planning
for a new wind down dates and like, oh yeah,
I don't have the kids that weekend. Oh wait, I
always have.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
He will always have it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
That is such a change she has changed. And again
I'm so grateful obviously, but I've had the I don't
want to say I would never have called this a
luxury before, but to be able to schedule things knowing
I don't have kids a certain weekend.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Like we would schedule like, these are the weekends I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Have the kid, we would schedule yeah, wind down on
the non mic or either on on Mike weekends. Right.
So now it's like, oh no, oh wait, wait told up,
wait a minute. Uh so yeah, So just trying to
figure out because what I also want to what I'm
mindful of now. I like your socks KB, mister cute.
One of my things. I don't know if you girls
(03:13):
do this with your husbands or not, but what I
would like to have is what I give to them.
So what I will say is on days, I'll go, hey,
what do you have today? So I can be mindful
of your schedule because I want that same thing back.
So I usually put it out there to then have
it then be reciprocated, because if not, if they come
(03:36):
and go, oh, I'm doing this, and I'm like, whoa,
I have I I have work to do too. I'm
not just to be here and he's never done that.
But like I had, I knew that was something that
would be in the past where I go, oh, that
was an issue because I just then felt like the
nanny and I'm and I have to work as well,
so I don't want it to just be put on
on on my plate. So I so every night essentially,
(03:58):
I say, hey, what do you have tomorrow? So we
can plan out our day so I'm a I get
ahead of being passive or being angry that my stuff
isn't looked at.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
So knowing you you have to have some kind of plan.
What is the plan when y'all are both working?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't know. I genuinely don't know. I've I've talked
to the preschool, but I don't as much as I
was like, hey, I've gone to price school. I don't know,
but I also don't want to. I don't also don't
want a nanny. So but I need help because it's
a million dollars. It's very expensive. I don't like people
in my space. I when I do, Like, something happened
(04:35):
the other night where I'm so specific with my schedule
and that's one thing I thought I was going to
be more leaning on. I'm not.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
And that's fine. With the baby schedule, Yes, oh I
knew you wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
It's fine. Isn'tly okay with that? Like because too my
kids were amazing scheduled.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I wasn't different with the third with the schedule, So
I'm not coming down on you.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, so I'm like, but at first I was like, ah,
it's gonna be fine. I s no, I'm still like,
why aren't they gys closed? Should be in the.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Consistency for your own life, because you are right and
there is things to schedule.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah. So it's just sometimes I just so that's the thing.
I don't know. I don't want to have a full
time because I don't need full time. I'd also don't
want to pay for full time. But I also don't
know if I want to go straight into the daycare
because that it's just so it's like once once January hits,
then we'll maybe know more about Alan's schedule because he's
really ramping up with coaching and stuff. And it's one
(05:28):
of those conversations like the other day, it's like, oh,
I got this coaching thing. I'm like, oh great, okay,
well I have this on this same so now we
need we not just I we will And he's like, again,
so good about it. I just know that I do
those things to then put it out there to go, Okay,
let's both figure this out. And he reciprocates, which I'm
so thankful of. He's like, well, I'll move I'm no, no, no, no,
(05:49):
here's the thing. I'm not asking you to move anything. Now.
Your thing is not more important than my thing, and
my thing is not more important than your thing. Let's
just figure this out together. Ye, we can just And
I like that.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
I think it's difficult too, when like their jobs require
travel and out of the house, and a lot of
what you do is in your home but you're working, right.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And then the other piece is traveling uptown too, right
for wind downs and stuff.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
But it's oh, well, you're here today, but you're not
here today, you're just in the building.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Well and then a preschool doesn't solve that problem.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Well, because here's the problem with the preschools is again,
when how last minute do we get things? Yeah, exactly,
I don't, and you have to watch well, thank you
and I love you and I'm going to definitely use that,
but I can't do that when I'm going to shoot
a movie or so. It's like we're going to figure
it out. Yeah, and I have no doubt that we will.
But I was just curious when it comes to do
(06:43):
you guys put out things to then get that received back.
Is there a situation where you're like, I'm going to
do this and I don't know if that's a healthy thing,
but I do it just so I don't become passive.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
I think we well, I'll say this and I don't
know if therapist Amy would sanction this, but I am
default primary parent, Like it's happening this week. I have
something that I had planned for a month and he's
now planned something and so I'm my friends, I'm coming.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
No, it's my fault though, but here's what I'll say.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Sorry, no, no, no, no, I this is what is
valuable and what has saved my marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I should have to call you to ask, talk to
you about it. Answer there can be no, there's one
of there's one of these a week.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
This is what I'm saying, and this what's great about this,
though I promise I.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Have that this is a solution.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
I always default till.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I'm primary parent, and so I learned a couple of
years ago in order to not resent him, I cover
everything as if I can't count on him to be
with the kid. Though his life is like your life though,
I mean it's like last minute, it's calls.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
That's a lot of last minute shows, right, I mean
that's a.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Lot of the like I used to be is to
the mom that's very.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Common, used to get make it shows up quite a bit, right.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
But I plan it all sure it literally the calendar
says right, bick take, I take whatever, and then I
have to ask. But yes, I still think the scheduling
and the planning always falls on that.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
But I also think, like women, I just want to
share it because I think sometimes it looks like one
way and it's just not like I know that's my
it's he would do it if he could. Guys, I'm
not making money, he's he's the primary breadwinner. So I
just think, like I had to learn, where do I
get resentful? I get resentful when my things don't feel
(08:33):
important and or not asked about, like hey, how did X,
Y and Z go? Yeah, So now I'm going, Okay,
my things are important to me, and that's where I
have to start. And so I just get it, like everything.
I already had coverage for this week based on if
he could be there, if he couldn't, because if it
wasn't this, it would be something. That's what I've learned.
(08:55):
It's a call, especially management. Right now, Catherine, what are
you up to a client? It's like it's another show impromptu,
you know, like, and that's just all of our worlds.
And I think everybody has that fluctuation in their own
corner of the world, whether it's I mean, not all
of us are shooting movies, right, that's not normal.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Hopefully ramp it up.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
I just think we have to do what we know
to help ourselves too. Like what you're saying, like you
ask him so that he can reciprocate. I will say,
now Preston does ask how do the podcast go? He
didn't super ask about Matthew McConaughey. But that's Okay, yeah,
a little we had a little jealousy.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Guy, did you start asking after he was on? Can I? Yes?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
But can I share this embarrassing?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:44):
This is embarrassing for him, not for me. He's like,
oh yeah, yeah, you guys, if this doesn't show true colors.
Today was that podcast with like Michael McConaughey or whatever, Yeah,
shut up and oh well Michael, okay, like that's a
how this whole name Matthew mcgoney, what are you saying?
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Anyways?
Speaker 4 (10:03):
I think we just have to run, especially in the
season of holidays, we have to run tight d for ourselves,
do what we need to do to feel supported and
loved on. It's a sacred season of advent. We're all
getting spread thin, you.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Know, and I think what works for one doesn't work
for the other. I think you have to figure out
what your system is, you know, and you're figuring it
out with Alan and talking. I mean, y'all are obviously
gonna have figure out some more and how y'all are
gonna have help?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
But as actually, so how are you who's watching out
figure it out?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
But also so new too, like new babies, it just
takes a minute to like get your rhythm back, especially
with a big break we've had.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yeah, well, and you don't know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And then there's that piece like what's Alan's work gonna
look like exactly? You know, I mean that's a huge
question and that you know has a lot to do
with it. But like you can go default parent. I
am right, essentially default parent, but I'm planning fifty to
fifty Leean, the both of us is basically like it's
understood that he takes them in the morning. It's understood
(11:05):
that I get them in the afternoon. If that doesn't work,
we talk about it, you know. I mean, it's just
like you kind of figure out your systems or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
But I still have to work on the season for
asking help?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Oh it's coming?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
What season forties? No? The asking for help? How this baby? Mmm,
I'm worse. I did it.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
I can't. I can't ask for help or not. Other
people like you're still an issue, You're not good at it. No,
same getting the last month or two is really done.
A little bit of a blow up about it, but
maybe we'll talk about it and not. This is not Alan,
this is just yeah, I don't even know. I mean, yeah,
(11:50):
it's just hard because we pupe some people in boxes
that would think they wouldn't be helpful.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Anyways, this is why we're best friends. I already know everything.
You're not going to say that's fine.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Oh goodness gracious. So we're going to take a We're
going to take a break and maybe we'll we'll touch
that one on a live one. I think we should
when it's not recorded. We've had some time, did I Yes, Okay,
let's take a break and then let's get Kathy Swarts
on you guys. She was on the Golden Bachelor, which
(12:22):
I'm excited to get her on because she was a
little bit of a feisty one. So let's take a
break and get her on there s.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Hi. Here, I am in my Christmas bread.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I love it, and I'm in my Christmas black. I'm sorry, Kathy, that's.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Not very spiritual.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Every week one of us will throw on a little
bit of another neutral and.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Day it goes from everything. Right.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yes, First of all, how are you? Because I feel
like you've been on quite the press train lately, so
from the all the airings of the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It's I'm fine. It has been the most fun adventure
I've ever had. I don't require a lot of sleep,
So I'm good. I'm good.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I was reading an article I think this was in People,
but you said, so you came she I'm gonna quoite here.
Kathy All's emphasized that she came to the show with
the intention of falling in love. And you said, I
think that when you meet someone. I mean, Jerry is
a very good looking guy, there's no doubt about it.
But I think as you get to know someone, you
look at that person and you make some judgments. And
(13:38):
you said you were happily married almost forty six years,
and my husband took his life by suicide. And it
just my heart broke when I read that, because I
can't imagine being with someone for forty six years and
then going through what you Oh honey.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, I'm just thinking what you're saying. So I
met my husband, just have to. I turned eighteen, and
in that way, Gary and Teresa and I we all
share that common you know, just after high school sweethearts.
And I was married ten days after I turned twenty
(14:13):
and was married just sort of my forty six years.
And you know, no marriage is perfect, but we had
we had a really good life together and three great kids.
And you know, it's it's really hard, and but I
treasure every day now. I think that's one of the
(14:36):
reasons I went on the Golden Bachelor. Yes, to find love,
but but I just don't say no opportunity anymore. You know,
if if if opportunity comes my way, I try to
take it.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
How long have you been single for.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
He It will be five years in February.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Years in February. Okay, has that journey to opening yourself
up been incredibly hard? Because again, I just I can't
imagine being with them for so long and then going
back out into the dating world, which is a terrible
and terrifying world.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Terror can be. I mean, there's a lot of words
I would use to talk about dating at my stage
in life, but really, you know, my daughter's friends we talk.
It's they kind of say the same thing. It's it's
like looking for a needle in a haystack. I say,
it's like looking for a quarter of a needle in
a haystack. You know, It's it's not easy. But I've
(15:27):
had a wonderful relationship. I've had a great guy, and
and I have a lot of energy, and I have
a lot of life and i want this last chapter
of my life to be as good or better than
any other time in my life. And I'm not going
to quit until I find it. And i may not
find it, you know, I have to accept that too.
(15:49):
But probably giving you more than what you want. But
that's one of the things I came away with from
the show. I'm I am a complete person. I don't
need someone to complete me. I want someone to walk
hand in hand with me, not in front of me,
not behind me. And but I'm happy with what I have.
(16:11):
I have a rich life with two granddaughters and you know,
three great kids, and I'm really active and I do
a lot of things. So yeah, I mean, is it
really fun going out to dinner with you know, a
guy who has whipped cream or mashed potatoes and his
beard and doesn't know it? You know, not really, but
it's you know, it's what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
You're basically saying you've got a lot of love around you,
but you want a companion.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, I would like to find that. All these things
sound so trite when you say them, but the sunsets
are beautiful, you know, when you go to the beach.
I want someone that's holding my hand as I walk
down on the beach. I want to share that sunset
with somebody. I want to go skiing and not just
ski down the mountain by myself. I want, you know,
I want to look forward or backward in my case,
(16:58):
look forward and see some but they are, you know,
waiting for me. I want to do things with someone,
so we'll see.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
So from the show, Well, first of all, who did you?
Did your kids get you on the show or did
you apply?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
I applied. I plead guilty God for you, my daughter again.
It was one of the things I saw it on
Facebook and I thought I can do that, And I
think I'm just I think I loved life so much,
especially since my husband died. I don't take one day
for granted. And I saw that as an opportunity to
(17:40):
maybe meet, you know, the final love of my life.
But I knew it would be an adventure and I'm
and I was not disappointed.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
So did you like how they edited you or would
or is there something because I know they obviously showed
the zip it thing and.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Zip it Yeah you're feisty.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah you're feisty, And I think there was a lot
of everyone to talked about how there was the great
relationships and everyone was cozy and comfy and all those things.
But do you feel like they kind of painted you
as the as the one I don't want to say villain,
but the one you.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Know, I am the least villainous villain you're ever going
to meet.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, I've seen the other shows, so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
You know, not not really. I Teresa is a lovely person.
She she and Gary are so happy together. We had
a moment. I mean truly, it was a moment where
you put everyone in this environment where you're all vying
for the same guy, and I literally it was palpable.
(18:40):
You could see that Gary and Teresa had a connection
right from the beginning, and in fact, I did tell
her that I think it was maybe it was right
after her her one on one I had told her
that that she that I would come to her wedding
and I be throwing rose petals. I mean, it was
(19:02):
that clear. So I don't care how they People who
know me know that I'm full of love, full of life.
I do say what I think. I'm a straight shooter.
I can't deny those things. I'm from Boston. I'm a
Yankee at heart. What can I say? But no, it's fine,
(19:23):
it's fine. I think every show people love me or
hated me.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Did you how old are your grand babies, Kathy?
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I have won almost eight months and one five years old.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Okay, I wonder. I know they call you Kiki, which
is what my daughter says. My kids, her kids will
call me, which I thought was so cute. But I
wondered if they're like, Kiki, are you dating? I'm like,
I'm wondering if you're getting the grandkids shaked down to cool.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
So my five year old says, Kiki, I saw you
on TV? Why are you on TV? And I said, well,
Kiki went to be on a show to have ventures
and meet people. And and she barely remembers her grandfather.
She was, you know, she was seven months when he
I mean, she really doesn't remember him. She was seven months,
(20:09):
but we show her pictures so it's like, why why
are you doing that? Kicking and then she'll walk around
going zip it.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
It comes back.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Have you seen an increase in male interest.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Because usually after publicity, I mean, like being on a
show like that, that was my that was I was like,
I wonder if someone's sliding it. Like, if you don't
have an instag, get an Instagram?
Speaker 3 (20:34):
I have Instagram?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Are the people dming you getting in there?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I've had four and one was a thirty two year old,
very good looking dud, and I did have to point
out to him that I had children older than he,
so that was one thing. Then I had a forty
year old baseball player, same notice the first.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Guy, that's true.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
And then I had a daughter reached out on behalf
of her dad.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Oh I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
I but guess what I never heard from dad?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Did you give her the phone number?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Because I feel like Dad might not be We don't
actually want him to be super savvy on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
You know, it's great his phone number and reach out
to him. Who cares.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
There's a guy, another guy that has which is funny.
He's in his late fifties and as we all know
now the world knows, Kathy is seventy. And this guy
reached out to a friend of mine. He knows her,
and he said, you know, she's she's so pretty, she's
she might be too too young for me?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Is that a pickup line? Kathy? I don't know what
to do with that.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
You know what, that's going to be my next pickup
line exactly. You know you're too young for me, but okay,
let's try it. So yeah, that's been the extent of it.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So is there someone in the entertainer meant because now
you can call yourself you know, you're an entertainment girl.
So is there someone that you've kind of always gone ooh,
I kind of think he's cute and maybe and that
you know is single, that you know, because we could
just reach right now to him on the show and
just go hey, Like.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
I mean, honestly, I know because most of the men
you know, I that are that I find attractive are married.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
And I don't mean that in any no, for sure,
for sure.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
But honestly for me, yes, let's stay ask me that
you know on the show looks so important to me.
But my biggest nightmare would be going on one of
those shows where you can't see the person, like I
have to be attractive when I first meet them.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Right, Yeah, we actually have talked about that here too.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
I do think there's some validity to that, Like I remember,
I remember the moment I met my husband, second husband.
For what it's worth, Kathy and I like the world
stopped for me. And I wasn't my type or anything,
but there is something too, like the actual instinctual.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Attraction you have.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
How long you been married?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Eight We've been together nine years now eight years, it's
eight years married.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
It was all fast, but.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Well, that's why I believe that Golden Bachelor. You people asked, ridiculous.
Oh no, I believe it. I met my husband at
a frat party and the room was filled with single
guys carrying red cups. And I scanned the room and
I saw him, and I was with a friend of mine.
I said, I'm going to marry that guy. And I did.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I just it was just this immediate attraction when I
saw him and he saw me. So I know, maybe
that makes me a little you know.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
It doesn't. It doesn't because I have a recording that
I'm going to when I do marry my fiance. I
have a recording the It was like two or three
days after I met him. I recorded to have a timestamp.
I was like, I know, this is crazy all, but
I'm going to marry him.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I was just thinking about that because for the Christmas party,
yeah popped up. Yeah, last year when You're like, Okay,
you're gonna think I'm crazy, but I'm going to marry
this guy.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
I was like, yeah, you are.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I believe here we are, there's four of us here.
I believe that you can fall in love quickly. And
uh so, you know I have time. I mean the
clock's ticking, but I have time.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
No, I can't believe you're seventy. I know you're great.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Thank you, Yeah, thank you. I'm you know, I have
make up, hair dye.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Listen. None of us are going on natural over here either, But.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
I mean that word is not even in my vocabulary.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
I don't at right now.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Horns, juice, maybe natural, That's about where I drop that one.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
That's fair. I just think you look so stunning.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
I'd imagine too, because you're so energetic, Like it does
matter to meet someone in person, because you need someone
that can keep up with you and has same charisma
for life as you do.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
And I have to say when I when I people
always ask me, would you want to be the golden bachelorette?
Who you wouldn't want to be the golden bachhorette in
a room with twenty two guys? Okay, I'll do that,
But as I've said, and I'll say to you it
would be a challenge to find twenty two guys who
(25:14):
could keep up with me.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
So here's my question, because you are you know, like
I feel like as we get older and we're all
forties here, yeah, well again not natural.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Cat's gonna say I'm only thirty nine.
Speaker 5 (25:28):
It gets weird when I'm like thirty nine for a time.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
But as I've gotten older, like I've just realized my
window of tolerance for certain things is so much lower.
And it's I even people I want to be friends with,
which it sounds like mean or something, but it's like
you can kind of instantly know andtutally who you're connected
to and who you're not.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
So does that feel that way to you?
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Like I can't imagine, by the way, my allergy to
the gender as a whole when I met my husband
was so off the charts, like I thought, there's no
way I'll get married again. It's I had raised husband,
I was exhausted, So I imagined by seventy you're like, okay, dude,
you know, like, how do you feel when you walk
into a room. Can you kind of scan quickly and
go this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
This is and do they ever? Do they at this
point too? Is it the same stuff? Like they don't communicate, Well,
you have to. You have to teach them because we
have dietary restrictions.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Like I'm exhausted for you.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Let's just be honest. You know, it's always take your
damn plate to the sink, pick up move you know
you're hog in the bed? You know, can you find
the hamper for your clothes? I mean, come on, it's
I don't care if you're seven or seventy. That's just me.
But I will say that my tolerance, in some ways
(26:43):
I've gotten become much more tolerant with age, and in
some ways I'm like two pieces of Sooran wrap. Like tolerance.
I think that no one's perfect. My husband, as great
as he was, was not perfect. And so I think
(27:04):
I just realized now it's more about so the man
that I'm looking for, Please God, or it would be
a miracle, there will be no more children, So you know,
you don't have those kinds of issues to work around.
It's more about shared values and how we want to
spend our time together. So I think the process is
(27:25):
a little bit different when you get to be my age.
But I think I think the instantaneous attraction that I
think all that stasts the same. But like, for example,
I don't want to cook every night. And in fact,
when I was on the dating maps, that was like
my first thing. If you're looking for a cook, I'm out, like, no,
(27:47):
I'm not going to dinner every night. That's I don't.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Want to unless you want a bowl of cereal. But
that's all I got for you.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
There's cheerios and oatmeal. Go figure it out. But I
love the idea of having, you know, a glass of
wine or you know, tequila and soda and cooking together.
I love that idea of having that kind of companionship.
But I don't want to. I've raised three kids. I
really I can't raise another husband. I can.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
So I wonder, because now all of our wheels are
turning and we're just going to note you as a person,
as a player in our friend game here and now
we'll keep our eyes open. But I'm wondering, if you
could pick like an ideal next partner, would they be
a golfer?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Do you love tennis? Like?
Speaker 5 (28:35):
What are your favorite things?
Speaker 4 (28:36):
Kind of non negotiable, like you have to do this
with me, or we do a lot of life separate.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
So I look at a little bit differently. I'm open
to anything. The only non negotiation it can't be a smoker.
I cannot cigarette smoke.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Just what about cigars? I know, I know men like cigars.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
I smoked cigars, so my husband did, so I sort
of have a soft spot for cigars.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
So we'll let a cigar pass.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
What a cigar smoker slide by? But I'll say anything.
You know, I do play golf, and I played pickleball
Gary and I did win that contest with Ellen. I
love to bake. I baked from scratch. I love to
(29:22):
need a I hike. I love mountainous hiking, rigorous hiking.
I walk five miles a day.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
When's your birthday?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Do you want to guess?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Sagittarius? Are you sad or you're not? Clarious?
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Taurus the bull?
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Oh, my friend from home is a Taurus. This is
all very on brand.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
When's her birthday?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
She's May fish teenth, that's my sister's I'm May ninth. Okay, okay,
love it? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yeah, but yeah, so adventure. You want adventure and you
can do it on your own.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
You know, I can do it on my own. But again,
I like doing things with people. Yeahah, but there's nothing
I like a bicycle. There's if I want a guy
who wants you've heard my thing, I'm used.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
To guys, right, I didn't hear that one.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Okay, So the men I find a lot of them
are used to guys. They used to play tennis, they
used to sit on the sofa. So I don't want
to used to guy I want. It doesn't he doesn't
have to be good at it. He just has to
have interest. He has to I love to kayak. You know,
(30:45):
I have a two man kayak. It's sitting there because
you know, I don't have anyone to go out. I mean,
I have girlfriends I got with, but I just want
someone who is willing to get up and take take
the day and do stuff. Because we only get this
one one spend. You know, we only get this one shot,
so don't waste it.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
And I know this is a big, wide world now,
But would you do long distance?
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I would? I mean, I as on the show, most
of us are not prepared to pack up and leave
our homes permanently, but that there's this little thing called
an airplane, and you know you can fly and come
back and see. Ideally, Ideally, I mean, if we're, if
we're you know, it is Christmas time, it is Sonica.
(31:34):
Let's just let's just throw it out there and see
what wish has come true. I would I would find
a guy who has children and grandchildren where we could
meld our families together and spend time in both locations.
That to me would be idyllic dream.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I think we should be ideal and say what you want, yeah,
and put it out there.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Sit on Santa's lap and tell him your next guy.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
We got to be off, Kathy. If so obviously, like
you said, anyone will want to be you know, the
next Golden Bachelorette or that the you know, the the
you know, the new one, the one and only. Essentially, uh,
what if it's not you, who would you want to
have that role?
Speaker 3 (32:18):
You know you're That's not the first time I've been
asked that question. I know those ladies so well, Susan
and Nancy and I have a really strong friendship, so
of course I would love to see one of them
be the Golden Bacheuette. I think, uh, you know, faith,
(32:40):
all the faith doesn't really want to leave home. But
you know, Faith is a lovely person. Leslie, as we
all know, is heartbroken. I would love to see Leslie, honestly,
I'd like to see any of them after me because
the love starts right behind me.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I love it. I personally would like to see a
golden Paradise that because you know, because there's the bachelor
in paradise. That would be super fun to do the
like that. I would, I just would. I would love that,
and that that would give you more opportunity to have
more men.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Uh huh. The problem is this body is not putting
on a bikini.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Well, first of all, there is this one wraps and
stuff too, you know, a little so wrong and hope
we could get there. How about this? And then there
you go ABC. It's yeah, so it's like a an
adventuross golden and golden and snow, I don't know, gold.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Beach ski day. One day you're up in the mountains
hiking and the afternoon come down the ocean, go swimming.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
Yeah, well real fast based on physical capability that way.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
And you know what, you can almost you can almost
look and tell guy true story. I did a guy
for a very short period of time, but he wanted
to take me to Florida, and he's fit. He sat
in the hotel room, in the hotel room on his computer.
(34:19):
Do you need to ask a relationship ended? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Did you leave like immediately?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I made friends down on the beach, I had a.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I still I made it. I had a terror.
I went to Cabo one time with someone and it
was just not great. I still talk to the people
that I met on that Cabo trip.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Isn't it crazy?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
How your great vacation friends. That's funny.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
If you had one piece of advice, because you have lived,
not even by age, just by circumstance, a lot of life,
like a deep, rich life. You have grandkids, you have kids.
You also were married to someone you've that's a tragedy.
That loss is not just, you know, a loss, it's
you didn't get to probably say things you wanted to say.
So what would your advice be to anybody listening that
(35:05):
is younger than you?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Oh? Boy, I mean I have a lot of advice,
but I think if we're talking about dating, I think
the best piece of advice I could give is live
live your own life, do the things you love, and
the right people will come into your life, be who
(35:28):
you are, be your authentic self, and if you're doing
the things you love, you have the best chance of
meeting other people that will love you for who you are.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
That's really beautiful advice. And then what about marriage advice?
What's something that you was your biggest lesson that you
learned with or struggle that you learned well?
Speaker 3 (35:50):
In my case, I needed to learn to zip it
a lot.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
I don't like that advice. Next, next piece of advice.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I think, honestly, in marriage, all these things you know
when you talk about these these things that are all
tried and true, they're tried and true pieces of advice
because they've worked over the years. And I have nothing
new under the sun to say other than marriage is compromise.
Any relationship is compromise and communication, and that looks very
(36:20):
different for different people. How do you best communicate? How
do you you know? How are you going to compromise?
Because if you're always demanding it your way, that's just
not going to work. So I really think those things
like communicating with your partner, really talking things through and
(36:43):
finding the common ground and knowing that it's better for
each of you to be somewhat happy than one person
miserable and the other one elated because they got their way.
I think that's what I learned. Compromise.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah, I like that. I think that's what I need
to do a little better.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
I'm trying. Yeah, same, I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
But also you guys again, you run the ship.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Wait hard to compromise, ladies, because.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Our way is the right way.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
No, we're right.
Speaker 5 (37:15):
They get to me. Let's hang out.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
I'll go boat with you and play pickleball with you,
you little fox in the neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I live right like Austin. We can get walked down
like Austin. And the weather's great this time. You do
not want to come in the summer.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Ever, Well, we're in Nashville, so.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
You're in Nashville. I don't quite that.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
We love it.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
Can I tell you another truism? Please, I've just had
to accept it and still live my best life and
be grateful for every day I have. But the truism is,
we do live in a society where there's a lot
of agism. You know. I don't look at you and
say you're thirty nine. Wow, you look great, because we
(38:02):
both you don't think thirty nine. She looks great period, right,
not fear age, but seventy. So we live in that
siding and I have to accept that, and that's fine.
But men who are not rolling quarters, you know from
their change at the grocery store, if they have any
(38:25):
any And I'm not talking wealth here, I'm just saying,
you know, guys that have their acts together, they don't
want to date me. They want a sixty year old.
If they're seventy, they want a sixty year old. I can't,
you know. And if I were seventy and some sixty
year old guy, the good looking athletic was like, Kathy,
you're the woman of my dreams. I'd probably go for that.
(38:46):
So I can't you know, can't blame them for that?
Well I can, but it's not going to get me anywhere.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Now.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
We see that too in our age group.
Speaker 4 (38:54):
I've had a lot of single friends that you know,
are stunning forty year old women. I mean, just a
complete package, independent, brilliant. Some of them even have abs,
which I'm not sure how that's attained. But still they're
going to like our age group, or even ten years older,
and they're going, oh, they want nothing to do with me.
They want someone in their thirties, and I'm like, what
is happening?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
And I just tell you my son is about to
get married in March, remarried. He's divorced.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Oh does he?
Speaker 3 (39:23):
He is thirty eight, Okay, and he is marrying a
woman who is forty eight.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Good for him.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
I love her. She has kids, he has a five
year old daughter. I think, Susan newsflash, maybe might marry them.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
I'll just say this to me, that's you raise someone.
He sees a strong, independent, beautiful you know, like that's
that's and he likes that trait in you, Yeah, which
is why he picked I like that you say.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
He is a great guy. You know, when my husband
passed away, he yoleaned on him hard, I mean, really
helped me in so many ways get through that. All
my kids did. But you know, he lives here, and
my daughter lives here, and then my other son lives
in upstate New York. But yeah, and I love her.
She is lovely and they make a great pay and
(40:18):
so I don't really think age is It's just hard
to overcome that in our culture because it's just what
it is.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Well, Kathy, thank you for coming on. We really really
really appreciate it. And we look forward to seeing the
golden in the mountains.
Speaker 5 (40:37):
Kathy, if we hook you up with your next husband,
can we be bridesmaids?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Marinate on it. We don't even answer right now.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I don't have to think absolutely. And I have a question.
You can't let me. Where are your fathers?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Oh, my father's well, anyone.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Your age is not going to date me. Your father's,
your uncles, what are they doing well?
Speaker 4 (40:59):
My dad passed away two years ago, And I will
say this, Kathy, you would have just I know I'm
trying to not have enough energy for what that would
have been, even if he was to munched.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Dad's a good dad, single, but I don't know that
he's doing all the things you're doing.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Maybe he bit fire, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
We'll see, I don't know. Come to Nashville, maybe we'll
try it out.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I will say, my dad finally got it right and
has an amazing wife. He took as a hot second.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Let me just say that really makes me happy. And people,
you didn't ask me, But I just want to say
one thing. People always ask me about Gary and Teresa,
And you know what, I look at them, and I
look at the way they look at each other. I'm
so happy for them. They are so sweet, gently in love.
You can just see it. It's palpable. You can see it,
(41:46):
you can feel it. That's what I want. And so
for you to say that your dad is happily married,
that's what That's what I want for everyone. Like that's joyful.
That is really lovely to hear that. So congrats to them.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Well, she still has to put his dishes in the
sink every time, Like when I go to his house,
I'm like, Dad, it's not that a thing hard put
your bowl. Compromise, I'm like, and I go, Laura, don't
touch it. Do not touch that in my sink. Dad,
Go put your bowl and put it in the distrusher.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
But wait, I'll be your dad does other things for
her that make up for not putting the ball in
the sink. That's what I mean by compromise. You know,
if literally it's a slug, which I'm sure he isn't,
then you know, okay, that's a different story. But you know,
if he brings I'm making it up. If he brings
her coffee in bed in the morning, or you know,
(42:36):
goes to the gross store and brings her home flowers.
I can deal with them. I can deal with the bowl.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
You know.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, that's sure, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
Important things in bowls, it's really yeah.
Speaker 5 (42:48):
Still put it in dishrusher and bring me coffee.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
To say, but really, in real life, bring me the
damn flowers and put the bowl right.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Kathy, I love you, and I'm to find someone. I
have a feeling I like when God knits people together
like this, it's for a reason.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
I love chatting with you, guys. I love come to Austin.
Will all go kayaking. I'll take you so fun. You
can be my wing women.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Yeah, yeah, so fun.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
We're there.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Awesome. Well, thank you, Kathy, really appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
I really enjoyed chatting with you guys. So long happy holidays.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh gosh, I want to go to the bar and
beer wing woman. That'd be so much fun. I really
feeling for some.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
Reason we're going to be the ones that know someone
that marries Kathy.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I mean, let's yeah, I just got to think about it.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Her energy is amazing.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I wonder, like that's what I always wonder. It's like
her energy is so palpable and wonderful, like it's got
to be hard to find someone that lives at that level.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
I also learned a very valuable lesson today. What's that
Earlier when we were talking to her, when we asked
how old, I said, you look great? Oh shoot, And
then she brought that up and I was like, oh
my gosh, that's so true. I mean, it's just a
good point. Like I didn't mean it in any you know,
I didn't mean it in a bad way, but it's
just kind of how we are.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Well. I say, though I get hurt, like not to like.
But when I said them forger like you, oh, I
would have said you're like early thirty. I mean, I
never make me feel old.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
I definitely think it happens in every age every but
also it's true it is, you know, ages on.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I guess at the end of the day.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
But I told people I'm gonna start saying I'm fifty
because I look great.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
For I don't think people mean anything by it, and
it doesn't bother but there's truth to that for sure.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
It's It's almost like when you when we talk about wait, yeah,
and when like yeah, last way and I said, oh
my god, Catherine, you looked so good, and like, what
did I look like before? Yeah, and it's that same
kind of thing. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, I don't
mean no, just like that means that you didn't mean
to Yeah. Absolutely, she does look great for seventy Yeah,
but also as we.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Mean it as a compliment. Ninety percent of the time
when something like that is said, the person means it
as a compliment.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
Yeah. Just can be so interesting in different ways. She's
a light.
Speaker 5 (45:03):
Yeah, she has to be bridesmaid.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
So I'm on a much energy. I love it. I
need you to be my bridesmaid, first friend.
Speaker 5 (45:10):
And anything you want to share with.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, we got an email coming out to everyone. Okay,
listeners are just awesothing you guys. But I mean, hey,
if everyone wants to come, let's do it. Okay, I'll
be your bridesmaid anywhere.
Speaker 4 (45:23):
You know that. I was like, it could be in
your backyard. I truly don't care, thank you. I also
would just put on an earpiece and resurrect my old
former event self. We did ask someone to the person
to marry us that we want to marry us. It's
gonna be I'm super excited. I'm not telling you who
it is.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
I had a feeling.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
I'm here. I love you.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Guys okay, Bye bye,
Host
Jana Kramer
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