March 21, 2025 • 22 mins
Jana and Allan are hanging out with James Van Der Beek, and they realize they have more in common than having filmed TV shows in Wilmington, North Carolina!
James gets vulnerable about what he learned about himself during treatment, and he shares his revelations about self-love and fatherhood.
Plus, James answers a Dawson’s Creek question that’s been on Jana’s mind for years!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
All right, we have James Van der Beek coming on.
I'm a big fan of it. Was a big part
of my life when I was younger.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Were you Dawson or Pace?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Daw Yeah, because I was more of the good guy
when I was younger, Like Dawson.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Ac was a bit of a menace, wasn't he.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I liked Pace.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Probably.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I probably flipped back and forth at certain points in
my teenage years between the two of them and my
admiration for them, But they always come out thinking.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, I ultimately always wanted her to end with Dawson,
like that's who I always wanted her to end up with.
But I was for sure more on the Pace side, Like.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, if she goes with Dawson, she's going to have
a really nice, stable, safe life. She goes with Pace,
it could be a roller coaster.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And you know what's crazy is I I don't actually
remember what happened because I watched that years ago. I
mean in high school. Do you even know who she
ended up with?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I don't know?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Is that crazy? I totally I think I don't think
she ended up with any of them. I have no idea.
I'm now going to have to It's a good question.
Go do a rewatch.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
You need to ask him, we need to ask Google.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well let's let's not ask him because that sounds super unprepared,
like we don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
But if it does, I mean it was thirty years ago.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I know, but it was it thirty years ago.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
It was filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. Shout out to Wilmington,
which I'm going to be there tomorrow, love my tree
Hillers excited to go.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
See that's a beautiful place.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well Wilmington. Yeah, it's the best. Who ended up with
Who on Dawson's Creak?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Then some live googling.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Holmes and Jackson ultimately got their way. Joy and Pacey
got back together, and we're living in New York in
the show. So that's right, I remember now. So it
was pascy Ah, that's right. I totally remember that.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
She she ended up with pace She ended up with Pascey.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I do remember that. Now. It's all coming back to
me that we got to rewatch, that that was a
good show.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
We've got a few things, but actually to walk.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
And my girl Mary's on that show. Who I did? Oh?
Is it cowboy Christmas? Cowboy romance? Some put a cowboy
to Christmas in a romance together and somewhere the title
comes in. She was in that. She was so good.
I loved her so much. She played Dawson's mom or
James Vanderbeek's mom in it, and she was amazing.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I love her.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, memories of him climbing out the window just to
always climb out the window, or she used to climb
in the window, remember to get to Dawson's room.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I think, Yeah, that's.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
A cool memory in my life.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
A girl climbing in someone's window. Fabulous core core memory.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
From Dawson's Creek. Yeah, she used to always climb on
his window. I'm sure of it.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Well. James Vanderbeek also did a One Tree Hill.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
It was a director. You went the off of that,
were you? No?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And I didn't ever watch One Tree Hill? So I
didn't know when you left.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
You never watched that?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, I I never watched. I watched like two episodes
when I got the audition because I wanted to see.
I watched a couple just to kind of see what
it was. But no, I never'd say I watched Dawson's Creak,
and then right after I was One Tree Hill, but
I didn't for some reason. I don't know. One Tree
Hill wasn't. It didn't appeal to me for some reason.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And James played a director, isn't it see again?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I have no clue because I didn't watch it. I
wouldn't know, but I'll ask the why One Tree hillars
this weekend? But they I didn't even know. I've told
this conventions before and the fans were like, oh, that
James Lafferty and Chad Michael Murray were brothers until I
(04:18):
mean maybe my second year filming One Tree Hill. Really, yeah,
I know I was he played, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
You's no point and tell me who you played.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You never watched it, You've never watched an episode. The
only time I really watched there was a couple scenes
that I rewatched, and uh, I am. I watched the
scene where me and Austin were in my hotel room,
where I was saying I was afraid of being alone.
That was a really hard scene to film. I wanted
(04:51):
to see how it turned out, so I rewatched that one.
I watched a couple other, one than the music one
when I sang on the show. So I watched that back.
But no, I mean, besides that, it's not like I'm
gonna sit in front of the TV and watch myself.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And I'm the same. I don't reflect to watch on things.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It's only to see how something turned out. For example,
in Gaslet, the were the scene that I did at
the end of the movie, in the courtroom scene with
monologus with Austin. Yeah, because it's like it was a
powerful scene. I wanted to see how it turned out
and if it if how I felt doing it reflected
(05:30):
m H with the final work. And sometimes it turns
out the way you like it, sometimes it doesn't, and
that one, you know, I was really happy with. But yeah,
besides that, I don't like watching myself because I just
pick it apart and go I should have done this
or I should have done that.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Interesting. So I was speaking about James Vandoek as well. Right,
I don't know if he reflects on has worked, but
it was a period where he hadn't he hadn't waked
for two years and then he got the Dawson's.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well he's here, so let's talk to him about it.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Over change these life.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
That's how it is. Let's get them on. Well, Hello,
hi James, Hey there, how are you.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
I'm good? How you doing.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I'm good. You have such a good voice. I had
no clue.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Oh, thank you so good. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
My daughter we watched the show together and you were
you were her favorite. So you were so sad. She
was so bombed. She's like no. And then when you
got when you got umasked, I was like, I knew it?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Yeah, did you did you guess it?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I did guess you at the very like the not
the first episode.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
But I didn't guess you by the way, and.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
We'll just we'll just jump right into it. But yeah,
so he was he was saying.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
How I didn't guess you because I thought you were
so good that I didn't think you were an actor.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Wow, yeah, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
So I was trying to guess singles and I'm like
this be yeah, that's my compliment to your voice was good.
That's I didn't thank you were an actor.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
That's a gomplement. Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
So I was watching one of your videos that you
posted on your channel, and you were talking about how
certain things defined you so acting. It's like, but then
it was when you finally had your family. It's like,
all right, this is this is you know, I'm great
at great at you know, being a dad and a husband.
(07:37):
And I think it's such a And we've kind of
talked about that because it's like he's had a successful
career and and for me it's like, yeah, I love
acting and saying the things, but it's like being a
parent is the most rewarding, hardest job I've ever done,
and it's where I can go, Okay, at the end
of the day, I was made to be this. And
do you think I mean, you've got six you beautiful kids,
(08:00):
do a beautiful wife? Is there that piece going? Okay,
I've accomplished and been in some of the best shows
and movies, and I have my purpose is this and
to be this, you know, rock for them.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
And the post that I think you're talking about it
was actually what the recent health issues I've been dealing
with have taken me too, which is actually getting even
beyond the definition of this is who I am as
a father, I'm a rock, I'm I'm a husband, I'm
(08:39):
a provider, I'm all these things. Because dealing with cancer,
there was a moment where all those things were all
of a sudden not true. So the way of getting treatment.
So I couldn't be a father, I couldn't be a husband,
I couldn't be a provider, and I couldn't be any
of these things that I had used as my identity.
And so, you know, the conclusion that I came to
(09:03):
was that even without all that, I'm still worthy of
love simply because I exist.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, that was a beautiful I mean, it was beautiful
slid thank you.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yeah, So you know, I mean, that's that's what I
try to teach my kids, you know, is just just
be just They're worthy of love just for being them.
It's funny if one of my kids asked me one
night when she was about six, She said, Daddy, do
you love me because i'm your daughter or for what
I do? And I was like, oh, man, I better
(09:36):
stick the landing on this one. This is like a
there's like a big question. So I got a little
nervous and I was like, well, I love you because
you're my daughter, but I also love the things that
you do.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
And she got kind of upset. She's like, but I
do bad things.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
I sneak candy, I sneak sugar all the time, like
this confessional. And I was talking to a friend of
mine afterwards and he was like, you know, you've got
the question you have to answer half right, he said,
The real question she was asking you is how unconditional
is your love for me? How how unconditionally do you
(10:13):
love me?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Period?
Speaker 5 (10:16):
And so I offer that up just for any parent
out there who might be watching, who gets to similar questions,
just think like, are is there a real question like
do you love me unconditionally? No?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
I love that because my little six year old will say,
but mommy, I was bad, and it's like it's okay,
you know, like I still love you. And they almost
think if they're bad, then that equals we don't love them,
and it's like that's the farthest thing from the truth.
My love for you will never stop ever, whether I'm
here or on you know the other side, Like I
will always love you.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So totally.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
And I was, And I was forty eight or forty
seven when I realized how like transactional my own relationship
self love.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Was right, Oh, if I do this, then.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
I'm worthy of love, if I'm a good father, unworthy
of love. If I'm right, you know all of these things,
you know, which is just one level deeper than you know,
try to define myself as an actor, which is never
really all that all that cradifying anyway, your book.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Well, I think it's hard because we put so much
on especially in this society, that's what defines us or
if you know, to be the winner at this or
and at the end of the day, it's like none
of that, none of that matters. And so that's why
I just I really loved and resonated with that, because
thank you, we're always chasing to be Okay, what's the
next best thing, what's the all right? And so you
were amassing or that was amazing, you do great, Okay,
(11:33):
what's next? But you have a totally different perspective now,
which I think I wish everyone had because there's so
many times when I try to say to people, this
life is so short, what are the things that you
want to do? Like you make a you get to
make a difference, and we don't know how long we
get to make that difference for, so what you know,
what are you going to do? And I think that's
(11:54):
you know, everyone should have that because there's there's too
much of the other stuff happening that at all with
wanting to do the what's next and the big stuff
and you know, trying to identity and all of it.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Yeah, and it's good to have goals because goals and
working toward that helps you build resilions, which is important.
But but like you said, when when the the goal
becomes the identity, that's that's when you can overlook a
lot of what makes life beautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
You said that you you know, this is going to
be the biggest life direct You're going to make changes
that you wouldn't have made otherwise. What are some of
those changes that you're going to make an instill in today? Oh, redirect?
Just a few?
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I mean pretty much what I've talked about. You know.
Speaker 5 (12:42):
That was the that was the intuitive hit that I got,
you know, like within days of being diagnosed, and then
I had to go through all the actual lessons, you know.
The first one was being alone for treatment the first
time and walking out of the hotel room and forgetting
my key and going, god, idiot, you forgot your hotel
KEI freaking stupid, and you're like, what was I wait
(13:05):
a minute, it's pretty harsh. Is that is it necessary?
And I realize how negative my own self talk was.
And I hadn't recognized that in the beautiful cacophony he
had six kids and five dogs and thirty six acres
and all of it. I hadn't realized like how negatively
I was speaking to myself. So that was like phase one.
And then, like I said, this, recognizing how transactional my
(13:26):
own relationship with self love was. If I, if I provided,
if I showed up here, and I was like, well,
maybe maybe we're all just beings of love and get
to share that and can appreciate every twist and.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Turn along the journeys as we moved towards goals.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
How excited about the kids that you were going on
mass singer?
Speaker 4 (13:49):
They were very excited. They were very excited.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
I was nervous about it because I hadn't sung in
public in a very long time. So I shared with
them how nervous I was. I shared with them my fears.
Am I going to lose my boys? I'm not going
to sing well enough? You know, it's a competition show.
There would be judges, like because I wanted them to
watch me try something that, you know, I was a
little bit nervous about trying. So it was really cool
(14:14):
to see their reaction to it. And they, I mean
my thirteen year old son, who was very honest all
the time, being like, you were better than I thought
you would be.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Like that is the hugest compliment from a thirteen year old.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
That's amazing. Thank you appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
That's amazing, and the like did they like the costume?
Speaker 5 (14:36):
They loved, Yeah, I love My six year old said
I looked like a duck and I was like, I
don't look or a chicken.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I was like, I don't look like a chicken. I'm
an eagle.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
And then of course, you know she's she knew they
got out of my skin, so then she would just
call me chicken head.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
But other than that, they love the costume.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Your wife, you always talk about how supportive and amazing
she is, you know, as an as a wife, Like,
what is one thing that you could say to the
listeners about how like what she does that we can
improve on as wives as well.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
You know, it's the first thing that came to my head,
so I'll say it, and it's a weird one. And
especially she's gotten so much better at this is just
the ability to sit with somebody else's pain. M and
somebody's in pain, especially as men like I feel like
we always try to solve it. Oh, well you do this,
(15:42):
did you talk to that person? Just call her and
then do that, or you do this or stay away
from that, or fix this, And she tries to do
that too. She's very much a fixer. She's very much
a you know type a get it done. But just
the ability to say to just sit, to let someone
else be in pain for a minute and not try
(16:03):
to fix it for him. And sometimes you just kind
of got to let him go through that. And it's
really not easy. It's not easy for you to watch
somebody else be in.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Pain, especially someone that you love, and.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's actually someone that you love.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
It takes a certain amount of fortitude and obviously, like
you know, do whatever you need to do to keep
yourself healthy. Like there are times when she's been like
I just I kind of have to leave the room.
I'm like, got it totally. But one thing that I
will say that I've really appreciated. It's an odd thing
to say, but it's just her ability to kind of
(16:41):
just sit with my pain and let it be and
then let me deal with it. And then let me
get over it and get through it without trying to
fix it for me.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, that's awesome. It's a hard one. But because I'd
never like to see you upset, you hate seeing me upset.
I mean that's just again, when you love someone, that's
it's a it's your kid, all of it. It's just
it's hard. Yeah, that's a that's a good reminder. I
like that one a lot.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Do you like disgusting Dawson's Creek or you.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
At this point? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:13):
I really I have such a like a nostalgia for it.
I don't know whether it's just time yeah or or what.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
But yeah, Well you got some questions.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I mean, are you are you upset that she ended
up with Pacey?
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Oh? God? That question?
Speaker 5 (17:28):
That question, that question I hate because honestly, as an actor,
I didn't really have that big of an opinion on it.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, And everybody, everybody.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Wants me to come down on one side, and like,
you know, whether it's taff or sixty forty, like, yeah,
people want me to say one thing so badly and
they don't want me to say the other thing. And
I just I never know how to answer it because honestly,
as an actor. I was like, that makes sense, and.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
That was kind of that was kind of it.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
It's like I wasn't as invested from a fans perspective
as as a lot of people were.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
So isn't it crazy how many people rewatch the show too?
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Oh, it's amazing.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
And I love that people are invested and I love
that they want me to have an answer to it.
But like if i'm I try to be as honest
as I can at interviews, and the honest answer is is.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Like, sure, he was flying, you know. And that's a
terrible answer. That's like nobody wants to hear that one,
but it's kind of the truth.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
No, I get it.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You guys friends, Yeah, yeah, And I've gotten in touch
with them recently and it's just been so nice.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
It's just been so great to talk to them and
catch up with like who they are now this many
years out and have that shared experience from back in
the day. It's just been it's so it's just so
lovely every time I get to catch up with one
of them.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
It is cool to have that because you guys were
young and then everyone grew up and they have kids
and a life and a family. And so that someone
on the different side, and people grow and change, and
so I love.
Speaker 5 (19:01):
Yeah, and we all went our separate ways and you know,
just didn't speak for years because we were just living
our lives and doing our things. And to to just
kind of reconnected me like, oh wow, I love who
you've become.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, right, yeah, And we all deserve that opportunity to
be able to see the other side and to be
accepted in the other side too. So yeah, well, James,
you were amazing as Griffin. You are an amazing human.
I'm praying for you and sending all the good love
and strength your way.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
I appreciate that social pleasure to meet you too.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Well.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I have a good one bye. You know, I knew
that he wasn't going to answer that question because again,
they didn't really have the control, but I always just
like to know because I'm still I think I'm bitter
because Steve Stephen Claudie always says that he thinks he
would have ended up with Mia, and I'm like, ah,
why not, Alex. So I'm like why not.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
So what you're saying is actors have egos when it
comes to if they get the girl or if they
get the boy. Shows like The Dawson James didn't end
up with the girl, Casey obviously got a as a
as an on set ego or as the actor's ego
on Okay, my career would be better if I I
(20:21):
would have got the girl.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
They got the boy.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
No, no, no matter. I just remember that I want
an interview with Stephen did and I'm like, ah, Alex
would have been great for you. What do you mean
just because I loved my character and she even wanted
to be chosen.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I've seen your character once. I would have chosen a
million percent. But he's so nice, so softly spoken.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
As well, he's lovely, like so nice mm hm.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
So so nice and what a single but some different
to say from my childhood is was in my one
of my favorite shows. He's so nice to see him
and delve into his world a little bit, sex, kids
and thirty five acres and.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I can't imagine getting a stage three diagnosis of cancer.
But I again, I just I wish everyone could live truly,
like today is the last day, and I really I
try my hardest, and I don't do it well, but
I really do try to live. Okay, this is make
(21:25):
not don't stress about this, don't you know, try try
my hardest, because I know how life is so precious.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
There was your last day, either got your last she's done.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
That would look good, but I know you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yeah, yeah, we get coughp in our own lives, in
their own situations, and you take things for granted absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Without doubt, without doubt.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
But he looks like he's got a really I mean
as much as you can, a really positive mindset around it,
and your gratitude for what he has in terms of
his family and what he's had in his career.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I mean, such a tough situation.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
It seems like he's on the outside seems like he's
in a really balanced.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And yeah, and a good reminder to live your life
to the fullest and to be kind and to appreciate
because you just never know, you never know. I agree, well,
love the positive energy and he was great as Griffin
on Mass Singer And we will be back with another
(22:36):
adult education next week.
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
All right, we have James Van der Beek coming on.
I'm a big fan of it. Was a big part
of my life when I was younger.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Were you Dawson or Pace?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Daw Yeah, because I was more of the good guy
when I was younger, Like Dawson.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Ac was a bit of a menace, wasn't he.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I liked Pace.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Probably.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I probably flipped back and forth at certain points in
my teenage years between the two of them and my
admiration for them, But they always come out thinking.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, I ultimately always wanted her to end with Dawson,
like that's who I always wanted her to end up with.
But I was for sure more on the Pace side, Like.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, if she goes with Dawson, she's going to have
a really nice, stable, safe life. She goes with Pace,
it could be a roller coaster.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And you know what's crazy is I I don't actually
remember what happened because I watched that years ago. I
mean in high school. Do you even know who she
ended up with?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I don't know?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Is that crazy? I totally I think I don't think
she ended up with any of them. I have no idea.
I'm now going to have to It's a good question.
Go do a rewatch.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
You need to ask him, we need to ask Google.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well let's let's not ask him because that sounds super unprepared,
like we don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
But if it does, I mean it was thirty years ago.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I know, but it was it thirty years ago.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
It was filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. Shout out to Wilmington,
which I'm going to be there tomorrow, love my tree
Hillers excited to go.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
See that's a beautiful place.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well Wilmington. Yeah, it's the best. Who ended up with
Who on Dawson's Creak?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Then some live googling.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Holmes and Jackson ultimately got their way. Joy and Pacey
got back together, and we're living in New York in
the show. So that's right, I remember now. So it
was pascy Ah, that's right. I totally remember that.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
She she ended up with pace She ended up with Pascey.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I do remember that. Now. It's all coming back to
me that we got to rewatch, that that was a
good show.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
We've got a few things, but actually to walk.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
And my girl Mary's on that show. Who I did? Oh?
Is it cowboy Christmas? Cowboy romance? Some put a cowboy
to Christmas in a romance together and somewhere the title
comes in. She was in that. She was so good.
I loved her so much. She played Dawson's mom or
James Vanderbeek's mom in it, and she was amazing.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I love her.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, memories of him climbing out the window just to
always climb out the window, or she used to climb
in the window, remember to get to Dawson's room.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I think, Yeah, that's.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
A cool memory in my life.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
A girl climbing in someone's window. Fabulous core core memory.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
From Dawson's Creek. Yeah, she used to always climb on
his window. I'm sure of it.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Well. James Vanderbeek also did a One Tree Hill.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
It was a director. You went the off of that,
were you? No?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And I didn't ever watch One Tree Hill? So I
didn't know when you left.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
You never watched that?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, I I never watched. I watched like two episodes
when I got the audition because I wanted to see.
I watched a couple just to kind of see what
it was. But no, I never'd say I watched Dawson's Creak,
and then right after I was One Tree Hill, but
I didn't for some reason. I don't know. One Tree
Hill wasn't. It didn't appeal to me for some reason.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And James played a director, isn't it see again?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I have no clue because I didn't watch it. I
wouldn't know, but I'll ask the why One Tree hillars
this weekend? But they I didn't even know. I've told
this conventions before and the fans were like, oh, that
James Lafferty and Chad Michael Murray were brothers until I
(04:18):
mean maybe my second year filming One Tree Hill. Really, yeah,
I know I was he played, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
You's no point and tell me who you played.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You never watched it, You've never watched an episode. The
only time I really watched there was a couple scenes
that I rewatched, and uh, I am. I watched the
scene where me and Austin were in my hotel room,
where I was saying I was afraid of being alone.
That was a really hard scene to film. I wanted
(04:51):
to see how it turned out, so I rewatched that one.
I watched a couple other, one than the music one
when I sang on the show. So I watched that back.
But no, I mean, besides that, it's not like I'm
gonna sit in front of the TV and watch myself.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And I'm the same. I don't reflect to watch on things.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It's only to see how something turned out. For example,
in Gaslet, the were the scene that I did at
the end of the movie, in the courtroom scene with
monologus with Austin. Yeah, because it's like it was a
powerful scene. I wanted to see how it turned out
and if it if how I felt doing it reflected
(05:30):
m H with the final work. And sometimes it turns
out the way you like it, sometimes it doesn't, and
that one, you know, I was really happy with. But yeah,
besides that, I don't like watching myself because I just
pick it apart and go I should have done this
or I should have done that.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Interesting. So I was speaking about James Vandoek as well. Right,
I don't know if he reflects on has worked, but
it was a period where he hadn't he hadn't waked
for two years and then he got the Dawson's.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well he's here, so let's talk to him about it.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Over change these life.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
That's how it is. Let's get them on. Well, Hello,
hi James, Hey there, how are you.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
I'm good? How you doing.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I'm good. You have such a good voice. I had
no clue.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Oh, thank you so good. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
My daughter we watched the show together and you were
you were her favorite. So you were so sad. She
was so bombed. She's like no. And then when you
got when you got umasked, I was like, I knew it?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Yeah, did you did you guess it?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I did guess you at the very like the not
the first episode.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
But I didn't guess you by the way, and.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
We'll just we'll just jump right into it. But yeah,
so he was he was saying.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
How I didn't guess you because I thought you were
so good that I didn't think you were an actor.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Wow, yeah, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
So I was trying to guess singles and I'm like
this be yeah, that's my compliment to your voice was good.
That's I didn't thank you were an actor.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
That's a gomplement. Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
So I was watching one of your videos that you
posted on your channel, and you were talking about how
certain things defined you so acting. It's like, but then
it was when you finally had your family. It's like,
all right, this is this is you know, I'm great
at great at you know, being a dad and a husband.
(07:37):
And I think it's such a And we've kind of
talked about that because it's like he's had a successful
career and and for me it's like, yeah, I love
acting and saying the things, but it's like being a
parent is the most rewarding, hardest job I've ever done,
and it's where I can go, Okay, at the end
of the day, I was made to be this. And
do you think I mean, you've got six you beautiful kids,
(08:00):
do a beautiful wife? Is there that piece going? Okay,
I've accomplished and been in some of the best shows
and movies, and I have my purpose is this and
to be this, you know, rock for them.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
And the post that I think you're talking about it
was actually what the recent health issues I've been dealing
with have taken me too, which is actually getting even
beyond the definition of this is who I am as
a father, I'm a rock, I'm I'm a husband, I'm
(08:39):
a provider, I'm all these things. Because dealing with cancer,
there was a moment where all those things were all
of a sudden not true. So the way of getting treatment.
So I couldn't be a father, I couldn't be a husband,
I couldn't be a provider, and I couldn't be any
of these things that I had used as my identity.
And so, you know, the conclusion that I came to
(09:03):
was that even without all that, I'm still worthy of
love simply because I exist.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, that was a beautiful I mean, it was beautiful
slid thank you.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yeah, So you know, I mean, that's that's what I
try to teach my kids, you know, is just just
be just They're worthy of love just for being them.
It's funny if one of my kids asked me one
night when she was about six, She said, Daddy, do
you love me because i'm your daughter or for what
I do? And I was like, oh, man, I better
(09:36):
stick the landing on this one. This is like a
there's like a big question. So I got a little
nervous and I was like, well, I love you because
you're my daughter, but I also love the things that
you do.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
And she got kind of upset. She's like, but I
do bad things.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
I sneak candy, I sneak sugar all the time, like
this confessional. And I was talking to a friend of
mine afterwards and he was like, you know, you've got
the question you have to answer half right, he said,
The real question she was asking you is how unconditional
is your love for me? How how unconditionally do you
(10:13):
love me?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Period?
Speaker 5 (10:16):
And so I offer that up just for any parent
out there who might be watching, who gets to similar questions,
just think like, are is there a real question like
do you love me unconditionally? No?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
I love that because my little six year old will say,
but mommy, I was bad, and it's like it's okay,
you know, like I still love you. And they almost
think if they're bad, then that equals we don't love them,
and it's like that's the farthest thing from the truth.
My love for you will never stop ever, whether I'm
here or on you know the other side, Like I
will always love you.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So totally.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
And I was, And I was forty eight or forty
seven when I realized how like transactional my own relationship
self love.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Was right, Oh, if I do this, then.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
I'm worthy of love, if I'm a good father, unworthy
of love. If I'm right, you know all of these things,
you know, which is just one level deeper than you know,
try to define myself as an actor, which is never
really all that all that cradifying anyway, your book.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Well, I think it's hard because we put so much
on especially in this society, that's what defines us or
if you know, to be the winner at this or
and at the end of the day, it's like none
of that, none of that matters. And so that's why
I just I really loved and resonated with that, because
thank you, we're always chasing to be Okay, what's the
next best thing, what's the all right? And so you
were amassing or that was amazing, you do great, Okay,
(11:33):
what's next? But you have a totally different perspective now,
which I think I wish everyone had because there's so
many times when I try to say to people, this
life is so short, what are the things that you
want to do? Like you make a you get to
make a difference, and we don't know how long we
get to make that difference for, so what you know,
what are you going to do? And I think that's
(11:54):
you know, everyone should have that because there's there's too
much of the other stuff happening that at all with
wanting to do the what's next and the big stuff
and you know, trying to identity and all of it.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Yeah, and it's good to have goals because goals and
working toward that helps you build resilions, which is important.
But but like you said, when when the the goal
becomes the identity, that's that's when you can overlook a
lot of what makes life beautiful.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
You said that you you know, this is going to
be the biggest life direct You're going to make changes
that you wouldn't have made otherwise. What are some of
those changes that you're going to make an instill in today? Oh, redirect?
Just a few?
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I mean pretty much what I've talked about. You know.
Speaker 5 (12:42):
That was the that was the intuitive hit that I got,
you know, like within days of being diagnosed, and then
I had to go through all the actual lessons, you know.
The first one was being alone for treatment the first
time and walking out of the hotel room and forgetting
my key and going, god, idiot, you forgot your hotel
KEI freaking stupid, and you're like, what was I wait
(13:05):
a minute, it's pretty harsh. Is that is it necessary?
And I realize how negative my own self talk was.
And I hadn't recognized that in the beautiful cacophony he
had six kids and five dogs and thirty six acres
and all of it. I hadn't realized like how negatively
I was speaking to myself. So that was like phase one.
And then, like I said, this, recognizing how transactional my
(13:26):
own relationship with self love was. If I, if I provided,
if I showed up here, and I was like, well,
maybe maybe we're all just beings of love and get
to share that and can appreciate every twist and.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Turn along the journeys as we moved towards goals.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
How excited about the kids that you were going on
mass singer?
Speaker 4 (13:49):
They were very excited. They were very excited.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
I was nervous about it because I hadn't sung in
public in a very long time. So I shared with
them how nervous I was. I shared with them my fears.
Am I going to lose my boys? I'm not going
to sing well enough? You know, it's a competition show.
There would be judges, like because I wanted them to
watch me try something that, you know, I was a
little bit nervous about trying. So it was really cool
(14:14):
to see their reaction to it. And they, I mean
my thirteen year old son, who was very honest all
the time, being like, you were better than I thought
you would be.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Like that is the hugest compliment from a thirteen year old.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
That's amazing. Thank you appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
That's amazing, and the like did they like the costume?
Speaker 5 (14:36):
They loved, Yeah, I love My six year old said
I looked like a duck and I was like, I
don't look or a chicken.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I was like, I don't look like a chicken. I'm
an eagle.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
And then of course, you know she's she knew they
got out of my skin, so then she would just
call me chicken head.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
But other than that, they love the costume.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Your wife, you always talk about how supportive and amazing
she is, you know, as an as a wife, Like,
what is one thing that you could say to the
listeners about how like what she does that we can
improve on as wives as well.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
You know, it's the first thing that came to my head,
so I'll say it, and it's a weird one. And
especially she's gotten so much better at this is just
the ability to sit with somebody else's pain. M and
somebody's in pain, especially as men like I feel like
we always try to solve it. Oh, well you do this,
(15:42):
did you talk to that person? Just call her and
then do that, or you do this or stay away
from that, or fix this, And she tries to do
that too. She's very much a fixer. She's very much
a you know type a get it done. But just
the ability to say to just sit, to let someone
else be in pain for a minute and not try
(16:03):
to fix it for him. And sometimes you just kind
of got to let him go through that. And it's
really not easy. It's not easy for you to watch
somebody else be in.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Pain, especially someone that you love, and.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's actually someone that you love.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
It takes a certain amount of fortitude and obviously, like
you know, do whatever you need to do to keep
yourself healthy. Like there are times when she's been like
I just I kind of have to leave the room.
I'm like, got it totally. But one thing that I
will say that I've really appreciated. It's an odd thing
to say, but it's just her ability to kind of
(16:41):
just sit with my pain and let it be and
then let me deal with it. And then let me
get over it and get through it without trying to
fix it for me.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, that's awesome. It's a hard one. But because I'd
never like to see you upset, you hate seeing me upset.
I mean that's just again, when you love someone, that's
it's a it's your kid, all of it. It's just
it's hard. Yeah, that's a that's a good reminder. I
like that one a lot.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Do you like disgusting Dawson's Creek or you.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
At this point? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:13):
I really I have such a like a nostalgia for it.
I don't know whether it's just time yeah or or what.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
But yeah, Well you got some questions.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I mean, are you are you upset that she ended
up with Pacey?
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Oh? God? That question?
Speaker 5 (17:28):
That question, that question I hate because honestly, as an actor,
I didn't really have that big of an opinion on it.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, And everybody, everybody.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Wants me to come down on one side, and like,
you know, whether it's taff or sixty forty, like, yeah,
people want me to say one thing so badly and
they don't want me to say the other thing. And
I just I never know how to answer it because honestly,
as an actor. I was like, that makes sense, and.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
That was kind of that was kind of it.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
It's like I wasn't as invested from a fans perspective
as as a lot of people were.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
So isn't it crazy how many people rewatch the show too?
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Oh, it's amazing.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
And I love that people are invested and I love
that they want me to have an answer to it.
But like if i'm I try to be as honest
as I can at interviews, and the honest answer is is.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Like, sure, he was flying, you know. And that's a
terrible answer. That's like nobody wants to hear that one,
but it's kind of the truth.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
No, I get it.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You guys friends, Yeah, yeah, And I've gotten in touch
with them recently and it's just been so nice.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
It's just been so great to talk to them and
catch up with like who they are now this many
years out and have that shared experience from back in
the day. It's just been it's so it's just so
lovely every time I get to catch up with one
of them.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
It is cool to have that because you guys were
young and then everyone grew up and they have kids
and a life and a family. And so that someone
on the different side, and people grow and change, and
so I love.
Speaker 5 (19:01):
Yeah, and we all went our separate ways and you know,
just didn't speak for years because we were just living
our lives and doing our things. And to to just
kind of reconnected me like, oh wow, I love who
you've become.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, right, yeah, And we all deserve that opportunity to
be able to see the other side and to be
accepted in the other side too. So yeah, well, James,
you were amazing as Griffin. You are an amazing human.
I'm praying for you and sending all the good love
and strength your way.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
I appreciate that social pleasure to meet you too.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Well.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I have a good one bye. You know, I knew
that he wasn't going to answer that question because again,
they didn't really have the control, but I always just
like to know because I'm still I think I'm bitter
because Steve Stephen Claudie always says that he thinks he
would have ended up with Mia, and I'm like, ah,
why not, Alex. So I'm like why not.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
So what you're saying is actors have egos when it
comes to if they get the girl or if they
get the boy. Shows like The Dawson James didn't end
up with the girl, Casey obviously got a as a
as an on set ego or as the actor's ego
on Okay, my career would be better if I I
(20:21):
would have got the girl.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
They got the boy.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
No, no, no matter. I just remember that I want
an interview with Stephen did and I'm like, ah, Alex
would have been great for you. What do you mean
just because I loved my character and she even wanted
to be chosen.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I've seen your character once. I would have chosen a
million percent. But he's so nice, so softly spoken.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
As well, he's lovely, like so nice mm hm.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
So so nice and what a single but some different
to say from my childhood is was in my one
of my favorite shows. He's so nice to see him
and delve into his world a little bit, sex, kids
and thirty five acres and.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I can't imagine getting a stage three diagnosis of cancer.
But I again, I just I wish everyone could live truly,
like today is the last day, and I really I
try my hardest, and I don't do it well, but
I really do try to live. Okay, this is make
(21:25):
not don't stress about this, don't you know, try try
my hardest, because I know how life is so precious.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
There was your last day, either got your last she's done.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
That would look good, but I know you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yeah, yeah, we get coughp in our own lives, in
their own situations, and you take things for granted absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Without doubt, without doubt.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
But he looks like he's got a really I mean
as much as you can, a really positive mindset around it,
and your gratitude for what he has in terms of
his family and what he's had in his career.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I mean, such a tough situation.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
It seems like he's on the outside seems like he's
in a really balanced.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And yeah, and a good reminder to live your life
to the fullest and to be kind and to appreciate
because you just never know, you never know. I agree, well,
love the positive energy and he was great as Griffin
on Mass Singer And we will be back with another
(22:36):
adult education next week.
Host
Jana Kramer
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