June 12, 2023 • 48 mins
Would you ever give your partner a “hall pass”? Aurora Culpo (The Culpo Sisters) has some real-life experience about giving her now ex-husband a chance to sleep with someone else, and she’s to share the truth about what happened when he took her up on it.
And, Jana opens up about a complication in her pregnancy that has her full of anxiety, which adds to the mental load she’s carrying through this new phase of her life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I'm heart radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Friend. Holy Matt, You're not supposed to be here, and
either is this baby? Why am I still pregnant? So
last Thursday we had an episode and you texted me saying,
all right, yeah, you're like, bs, I'm really trying to
have his baby before you head out of town and
(00:28):
my husband heads out of town. Well you sew this.
Let's see. So a week ago, a week ago, six
days ago, I wake up and I'm having contractions every
three to five minutes, and you thought, did you think
you're for sure having the baby? Then?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But I was like, well, I'm not not having a baby,
you know right. It's like a weird feeling because I'm like, well,
doesn't feel this intense, but it is. And my obi
was like, you should probably just go into triage have
him check you out. And she's not a panicker, so
I was like, hmm, she definitely feels something, you know,
no dilation. It's like such a defeating feeling. So they
sent me home, and honestly, I hope somebody can relate
(01:06):
to this. I feel like a lot of it is
just the noise and the stress around me and my
body right now, Like me and my bodies feel really
good about this baby. The baby and I are like
in alignment. God loves us. We're ready to rock when
it's time. There's so many moving pieces around us. Like
(01:27):
my husband is touring and will he's starting to go
further away, so he goes to Utah, Denver, New Mexico.
That feels very far if you're going to have a
third baby, and it could be quick. Yeah, So just
gets noisy and I just feel like all of that.
So you know, it's like everyone's like hyper checking in
on you, tour managers all the things, Like there's like
(01:49):
three camps of people going. So you feel, how do
you feel? It's like I've never had such a public
cervix in all my life, Like can I just publix?
I just be pregnant and just patiently await a baby.
But I can't well, I mean, selfishly, it's been I'm like,
(02:09):
can we like have a sea section? You were like
you were actually I have to share the selfish moment.
I was texting you and I was like I just
don't know what's happening, and like there's no dilation. I'm
not I haven't been a water breaker before, so I
don't anticipate that happening this time, but you never know.
And you're like, you can elect for a sea section,
(02:31):
we can have a sea section right now. And I
was like, oh, I love you so much. The artist
doesn't sneak up much, but when it does, well, No,
my doctor had always like when I was pregnant with Jolie,
she was like, or you can have the baby at
thirty nine weeks and do a sea section. Yeah, I haven't.
I hit thirty nine weeks like today, so it was
just a little early in my Yeah, it's just really
(02:53):
been something. Anyways, I was up all night contracting, So
that's great news, I hope. So most likely, well, I
mean I'm not this is all. This is going to
actually kind of make me sad. This is the last, man.
I am not emotionally stable enough for all the last
It's a lot of last I know, the last time
(03:13):
being in this house, in this room doing wind down,
the last time you will I mean the baby, the
night time you have you do wind down, you'll have
a baby. This is my last with baby podcasts. I
got emotional on our last wind down two or two. Yeah,
I just love it so much. Yeah, I don't want
(03:35):
to be gone long. Well you won't, okay alive from
Centennial Hospital. Can we do that? I'm just kidding you know, ma'am.
But we were sad to miss you last Thursday. It's
always uh, and we will be sad to miss you.
I don't necessarily have to miss too much. No, I
mean you've known. You were my first call when I
(03:56):
found out I was pregnant. Love that we get to
say it out loud. Yeah, this is a really everything
to me. Oh yeah, if we've really been in it.
I have FaceTime pictures of you and I both times
i've been in labor. I really would prefer it if
it was like in person. Yeah, but we can do
(04:19):
that again if we have to. When I called you,
did you what like? What was your first initial when
I told you that I was pregnant because we never
got to have like your we got like Catherine's. And
did you think that I would even though I've told
I said no to like I wouldn't have another kid?
Did you think I would have? Yes? I thought you'd
have another one? Really? Yeah, Alan's handsome and you guys
just are magic. I mean, and I like it when
(04:44):
our plans get thrown out the window and God has
bigger plans, especially for people with our personality type. Do
you know where I struggle though? And I'm not trying
to get like no, tell me everything. Yeah. So the
last so Thursday's episode, this before I went back to
my guy now and because you know, I had that
(05:06):
hemorrhage or whatever. Yes, I didn't know how much everyone knows. Well,
I told that I was bleeding for the first trimester,
which was scary awful. Yeah, I mean because that was
the reason why I didn't want to have another one,
because I just don't want to go through another miscarriage again.
So I think so many people relate to that. Yeah,
I mean, yeah, it's I even feel it right now,
(05:28):
Like if I don't feel a baby, right, it's the
scarcity mentality sticks with you. It's the PTSD, right. So
the whole like hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage thing has been so
like just like scary, you know. And so what we
go back and they're like, great news, your hemorrhage is
down below you know, it's like below two centimeter. She's
(05:50):
like bad news. And I'm like like why, you know, like,
can I just have good good news? Can it? Just
like she's like, you're fibroid. She's like, has like pretty
much doubled in size. I means that doubled. But she's like,
it's one of the on the larger ones we've seen.
And then don't go to Google because I'm goovering you know,
(06:10):
large fibroid, you know, with the size of mine, and
because right now it's at eleven centimeters okay, and like
a large is like ten to fifteen. And she's like,
if it keeps growing, we're gonna have She's like, and
we could already have. She's like, we can have issues.
We can not have issues. And I'm like, okay, what
(06:32):
are like because I like to be in the no right,
I'm like, okay, what are the issues? Like what could happen?
And She's like explaining all the stuff to me and
I'm just like, oh my god. And then you know,
but then but then the flip side's like or it
could be fine. So there's nothing they can do, right, No,
they can't. They can't go in and get it. Now
what I didn't think and this is what's so great
(06:54):
that will shrink it? No, I've done like I've looked
and Google, so like, which so crazy is that I
I had like stomach pain before I was pregnant and
I was a little bloated, and so everyone was just like, oh,
it's your gut, your gut, your gut. So I was
like doing gut stuff. Well, now, come to find out,
it's because I have this massive fibroid. Yeah, like huge, Yeah,
(07:16):
so I should have it would have you should take
those out before, But I didn't know, Like how would
I know that I had a fibroid. It's not like
I'm going to get like ultra sounds on my stomach
or whatever. So but long story short, I'm just kind
of like, so now when I go do the movie,
she's making me, not making me, but she's like, you,
we need to see what this fibroid's doing because it's
like a blood sucking it'll try to take the placenta.
(07:41):
And I'm like if I well, I want I know.
And that's where I was like starting to struggle. Was
just like I won't be able to make sense of
God blessing and then God taking you know what I mean,
Like I didn't think that this is like I'm this
is such a miracle, baby anyways, like, how in the
world did I get pregnant so easy? So it isn't
on any medicine easy, and like that never happened before.
(08:05):
I was like, you know, having to do the IVFS
and then this and then that and the like having
to have the progesterone in my body for the other two.
I think that's why that worked. But I'm like every
other time i'd lose I'm like, how So it's just
like it's a lot. So we just need to like
if anyone has because I'm like a Googling like fiend
right now, be like, okay, massive fibroids, you know, like
(08:25):
healthy pregnancies, and I just like I don't see any
forms or anything. So if there's anyone that had a
very large vibroid right next to your baby when you're pregnant,
can you please DM me? Because I just want someone.
I want to talk to someone about it. Yeah, and
also liked scary Yeah, and I'd like good story, but
I mean I want to hear all of it. Yeah.
But also I think there's probably more good stories than
(08:46):
Google likes to share too. Google sucks Google well for
a lot of reasons. Where would you like to start
it is tricky though, Like I do feel like it's
the noise, Like that's where I got to last week,
Like I got home from the hospital and I just
got in a bathtub and I was like, I need
to shut the door in present's like got it. I
just feel like we don't even get a chance to
(09:07):
like listen to our own heart beats because everything is
like so noisy and so catastrophic, and it can be
those things. I'm not living in a false reality, but
I'm also like, okay, but also can I just have
a minute to like remember whose I am? Who gifted
me this baby, Who's gonna walk me through this baby?
Because God and I have done a lot of ear
(09:28):
bending with each other. But that's where I have a
hard time, because I'm like the babies that like this
still bursts and the like the myth I'm just like,
and I can look at it now now having my
children going Okay, these were I understand, but I wouldn't.
I hope I will never have to make sense of
right that I will say this. Do you remember Okay,
so you know a year It's been over a year
(09:50):
since I walked the still birth with my friend Ashley
Micah James. We talked about him on Windown. Little baby
born at six months in utero, one pound, one ounce,
precious little man. She had her baby last week. Oh
I love that, I know, and I have to share
this because this is really hopeful too. So she and
I were the only two women in that room that
(10:11):
walked that together, and we both were due within like
a day of each other with these babies.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I know.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And she had her sweet little boy, Knox Isaiah, six
pounds three ounces, like three days before Hermiicah James anniversary.
I love that. See that's like and those stories are amazing.
I love that. And what I said last week is
I was like, I like, I'm done after this. So
it's like, oh please, this is where I've been. So
(10:44):
the four of us can't be together on a podcast.
So that's where I'm like, please work. No, it's gonna work.
It's gonna work. But there's just there's so many like
and you don't know, there's just never stressors. But I'm
just like, oh my god, Like it's like like because
I just I wouldn't this was this is it? This
(11:04):
was a one and done. Yeah, you know, it's so
crazy because I have tried to keep myself in such
a positive place, but the what ifs are so real. Well,
and it's the thing is like, you know, we have
a name for this, babes, and it's like it's so
you know what it is too, it all matters. And
it's like I just can't imagine people that, like, I know,
(11:25):
but I like that, I just could not imagine because
I've like seen like people like my friends just had
a still birth, and I'm like, I can't, like I
can't imagine. I know, but God does walk you not
trying to be like all niggies, you know what I mean. No, no, no,
I mean I just I walked it with her so
intimately that I'm just I've just never seen. That was
(11:46):
the most sacred anointed space I've ever been a part
of in my entire life. I can't describe how that
was probably the most the closest to God in the
thinnest place I've ever been in my life. Hmm. And
there and that baby didn't cry. Oh it's gonna be
I'm just I know, but it does. Matt. I mean,
it's like He will just never bring us somewhere he
(12:07):
can't get us through. Yeah, he just won't look at us. Yeah,
holy shit, look at us right, Yeah, for sure, And
I know everything always like I think it's just like,
well also early, you know, second try master, it's just scary.
It's just it's a I well, also, you love you're
a good moms. If you were like, yeah, give or take,
I mean I'd be really questioning, you know, like this
(12:28):
is a you love your people so well, yeah, and
it's fair to be scared. We just have to go
one day at a time. I know, I text this
to you the other day, but I was like, I
think for our people specifically, we love like a plan,
we love. We just love to know a lot of
people do. But like the things that make us stay
(12:49):
inside of a minute before it pushes us to another
minute are really a gift to our type are a
type personalities. Yeah, so this baby's making you do that, right,
It's just would be nice to not have to like yeah,
you know, but you know again, I know abid fight, right,
but I also know how fortunate I am to be
able to be pregnant and how people you know are
(13:09):
not are struggling and going. So it's like I also
see that side too, So I feel very fortunate. You
can hold both. Yeah, I can be grateful and have
a little grief, yeah and the yeah. So yeah, but
I mean, so far everything's great. It's just hopefully fibroid
gets it doesn't grow anymore. So if it stays the same,
(13:33):
I'll probably have pre term labor, is what she said. Okay,
so they would just but you'd see section anyway. Yeah,
but the thing is like, you want to catch it
before that promption. So okay, staying inside the minute, staying
inside the minute and stay and so I lets talk
to a supermodel today.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I walked in.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
And I was like, I'm dressed like a gangster wrapper
because that's the portion of the program. I can't even
wear any tight fitting cute maternity col But I'm trying
to find was was she the one we talked about?
So it's Olivia Colpo's sister, But was this the one
that was married that hap yeah? Or is this was
she the one that gave the hall pass? But then wait,
(14:16):
oh it is her? Okay, great. Hannah's like, yes, I
wonder do you think it's something where we can talk
about that. I don't want to be like rude, but
it's also she put it out there. Yeah, I mean,
how many people ask you you put out there? I
know she know what podcast she's coming up. Listen, Aurora, listen.
(14:37):
But no, I'm excited to she's got any podcast coming out,
so that'll be I'm interested to hear all about it.
Let's take a break and get her on. I'm jan
(15:01):
I'm Kristen him. All right, girl, So I have to
start with and if it's okay, So we actually covered
something that was on y'all show because with this podcast,
you know, we've talked a lot about infidelity and marriages obviously,
like we talked about like my divorce and because he
(15:22):
had some affairs, and and then we talked about how
on your show you basically said you gave your now
ex husband right a hall pass, And so we discussed
it and I'm like, listen, like for me, I'm like,
I couldn't. I could never do it all pass. I
mean just because for me that trust is so important
(15:43):
in a relationship. And so when doing a little bit
of research now seeing that you are divorced, do you
think that trust peace was the kind of nail that
just killed it all? Welcome to wind Down? Yeah, sorry, welcome,
Welcome were jump right into it.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
No, I was excited actually to be on your podcast
because I feel like you and I kind of have
that in common where it's like I really have no
shame in my game in terms of like I'm not
embarrassed to talk about the things that have happened that
I tried to work through that you know, some of
it didn't work, some of it did work, and hopefully,
(16:20):
if nothing else, like people can learn from it. So
it's interesting that you phrase it like that. It's a
trust thing because the whole reason why I gave him
that like hall paths, which we called it a one
a year. So when I met him, I had come
out of this relationship, well I thought it was a relationship.
It turns out I was like the side piece who
(16:41):
thought she was the girlfriend and this guy was an
MLB player and was basically having a girlfriend in a
different city. And I think when I came out of that,
I kind of had this. And to be quite honest,
I don't know if if if I don't know if
I still don't believe this, but I felt like men
(17:02):
are wired evolutionarily to want to spread their seed far
and wide, and so for them to be in a
monogamous relationship. I wasn't really sure if it's if it
was possible, and if it was possible, are they are
they happy? Are they living in their in their like
true self? So I felt like what we had was
(17:22):
so special and that if a man needs some kind
of sexual escapade, you know, or the freedom to feel
like he is allowed to do that, then that wouldn't
interfere with what we had because it's just sex. So
and for me, I felt like I didn't need that,
But if he did, who want to tell him not
(17:46):
to explore that as long as I'm the one who
he wants to be life partners with. So I said, okay,
you're allowed once a year to have sex with somebody else.
They don't roll over, You can't. It can't be anybody
we know. You can't keep in contact with them. You
have to use protection. If there's any kind of emotional feeling,
(18:09):
do you have to be upfront about it. And I
don't want to know about it because I had a
feeling that I, you know, I would have feelings about it.
And I thought that by giving him and he our
agreement was that well, what he had said to me
is like just having that freedom, knowing that, like if
I go on a trip or if I'm out, just
knowing that I have the freedom to possibly connect with
(18:30):
somebody else in this way, you know, I'm not going
to have to use it. And he didn't use it.
He didn't use it for like eight years, and they
ended up using it when I was pregnant with our
second child after COVID, when our relationship was already like
on the rocks for so many other reasons, and of
course somebody DMed me and they were like, just so
you know, like your husband slept with blah blah blah,
(18:52):
and they gave me the full rundown on like everything
they did. And I'm like, you know, when somebody describes
sex with your husband, like you know that that's I
knew it was true, and I confronted him about it
and he lied any gas lit me and he said,
you know, if you keep if you keep digging, if
you keep X, Y and Z, then like it's over.
And this we had already been in therapy at this point,
(19:15):
just for other reasons that we had grown apart, and
so people think that our divorce was because he, you know,
took advantage of this freedom that I gave him, but
actually it's not at all like the I didn't like
that he lied to me after, and of course he
said like, oh, well, you weren't supposed to know. He
told me not to tell you. You know, when somebody
wants you to be honest and they're asking for honesty
(19:36):
and you're not giving it, and then you're making kind
of an excuse that's very convenient for you to not
be honest that you know that, that definitely was did
not make me feel good. So when I ended up
finding out, and you know you always do, I was like,
I was like being serious, like a detective, and I
ended up putting out in some like encrypted message system.
(19:58):
I never looked through his phone our entire li relationship,
but I did this one time and I ended up
finding out about it, and he and so he admitted it,
and I said, okay, well, I thought i'd be okay
with it when I made the agreement with our relationship
was so strong. I don't know if I would have
been okay with it then, but like at this point
in time, I'm not okay with it anymore. And it
(20:21):
wasn't a freedom he was willing to give up, and
he mostly was upset that I had changed my mind
about everything, and then we ended up, and then we
went therapy for a year, and we ended up calling
it quits with our marriage, not because of the one year,
but basically just because of like I was no longer
the kind of person that would that, well, I no
(20:42):
longer yeah yeah, and he and he was upset that
I had changed my mind because honestly, he had been this.
He's the same person he was when I met him,
and I'm not so I really don't hold any resentment
towards him about that, and if anything, he's resembled towards
(21:04):
me for changing my mind, and then also now kind
of sharing our story in a way that I think
he was a little surprised that people didn't look kindly
on that. And people call it cheating, and he's like,
you told everybody I cheated on you, and I'm like,
I know, I actually never did. I sent me in
an agreement with you. You took advantage of it, and
(21:26):
I'm not okay with it anymore.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
And it is interesting though, that like, you can change
your mind, but he is not allowed to change, like
he didn't use it for so long. So he also
changed his mind actually, and it's okay that it didn't
like it's very that's very gas lady.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, I also he said he started using it because, well,
you know, I had one baby breasted him for fifteen months.
He didn't sleep for the whole freaking year. I was
like up and down with my moods from my hormones,
and I had got pregnant with another baby was covid.
I was breastfeeding her and like he was like, well,
you're not giving me sex. You know, that's like always
the thing. You're not giving me enough sex. He's like,
(22:05):
and sorry, I was once a week, but it was
like the like it wasn't like passionate love sex. It
was like we got in this cycle of like me
feeling guilt tripped into having sex and it's just not
it wasn't working.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So yeah, well, I also want to affirm you too
and just say, like, I hope his gas lighting of
making you feel like it's your fault, that it's not
your fault. I hope you can like let that like
that you know that it's first of all, it's one
million percent okay that you're not comfortable with your husband
sleeping with somebody else and that you know you ended
(22:44):
up not wanting that in your marriage. That is one
million percent okay. So I hope his gas lighting of well,
you've changed you you you you you doesn't think in well,
if I would have only done this, like we would
be happy and I'd be married, and like, you know,
I hope you don't carry his gaslighting.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, no, I feel okay about it. Like I take
full responsibility for my part in that. You know, I
did give him the impression that this was something I
was going to be okay with, and I did. I
think I felt bad for a while about like changing
my mind. But now that we're you know, we're like
almost two years into this divorce. That's like the never
ending divorce. I actually, on June ninth, I have to
(23:24):
move out of this house. Every day after I stay,
I owe him a thousand dollars or I like really
need to move out. Like after this, I'm gonna like
start moving stuff into my storage unit. I'm like living
in the most tellish limbo right now. But I feel
very good about I just know that we're I feel
I believe in soul contracts. I believe we've meant to
have our children together. He's a great father. I'm happy
(23:47):
to do like this partnership with him. It would really
suck if I had to speak to somebody every day
who I can't stand. I have a lot of love
for him, but I don't don't I don't want to
be in a partnership with him. He's just not my person.
Nuts damn sure.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So next relationship, what do you want? And do you
still think that men have to have because I don't know.
Maybe I'm just like I mean, I've obviously been through
the ringer with the x is, but I still believe,
like I believe my fiance when he says he's never
(24:22):
going to be with another I do. I believe him
he's never going to be inappropriate with another woman. And
like I get people to say, there's a lot of
people that have that same thing, like men are not
supposed to just be with one woman like that, you know,
monogamy is not normal and whatever they say, But I
just I don't know, Like I know it's hard, I
know it's stale and stuff, but I still just think
(24:44):
like there's they're not that someone can be faithful.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, no, And I have a lot of respect for
you with your story and your and you're with your ex,
because I think it is a lot of there's this
there's kind of this CULTU now of just like oh
it's hard, let's move on, like let's give up. And
I do believe in trying, but I also believe in
(25:10):
really like listening to your gut and your body. And
sometimes I do think when we know it's time to
move on, we have a responsibility to do so. And
like I said, like I believe in soul contracts, and
I think sometimes those contracts can totally be for a
lifetime and sometimes not. And if you're with a partner
who is growing with you, and you guys are are
(25:31):
committed to checking in with each other and being on
the same page and really trying to build a life
where you are mutually helping each other's evolution, then for
sure that can last a lifetime. It's not easy, and
I don't think that most people can do it well.
But I have faith that you will because I feel
like you've done a lot of work and you've you know,
(25:53):
you've been through the trials.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Well, thank you. But for you, though, like what is
going to be like do you want to get married again?
Like do you what would you tell your new husband?
Like what what? What's your stance? Now?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh my god, I'm on hingin Ryah right now. Yes,
I started. Oh, it's like literally and.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
What do you think about Rya because I feel like
it's just like model boy, model boy, model boy, and
they all like no, I mean the area is like
whatever I mean I met I didn't meet my fans
on Riya, but I mean like he lived in England
when I met him. But it was like all these
people on RYA are like not from anywhere close.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I feel like I know, they're like just they're like
I'll be in La for like twenty days, like want
to meet up for coffee. I'm like why, and then
back to Brazil. I'm not having luck. I'm not gonna lie.
I started talking to one guy, funny enough, he was
from England too, and I ended up like finding out
that he lied about his age and by like three
(26:51):
years and my ex was fifteen years older than me.
Like I'm not afraid of an older person. So just
to start off with a lie, and to be able
to lie so effortlessly and about something so trivial, like
I was like, okay, this is not a foundation I
need to start with The other guy started talking to me,
was like, yeah, I've been in polygamist relationships. I've been
(27:14):
in blah blah blah. And I told him about my situation.
She's like, it sounds like you were in a polygamoust
relationship too, and I'm like maybe I was, but like yeah,
I mean I would love to get married again. I
would love to have like some kind of a blend
family that that's like a dream of mine. Right now,
(27:34):
I feel like I'm in such a I just know
that what I'm attracting is instability in another person, or
like I'm seeking a person to try to make my
life more stable because it has been just so okay.
We've been nesting in one house, like he's been at
our other house in Palm Springs while I'm here so
(27:56):
that we don't have to uproove with the kids. And
now I'm gonna be renting when I keep like losing
the It's like if my life is just very chaotic
where I just don't see me attracting anything functional at
the moment, I would love to get to a place
where I feel so grounded in myself and like just
really like in love with myself and so I can
attract I just know that I'm not going to attract
(28:18):
that until I get there myself. So do I want
it to happen Dune, Yes, I'm going to have to
make some serious changes because I don't know. The wine
every night is not doing it for me.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
But there's a season, Like, don't be hard on yourself either,
because there is a season, and space matters, like you're
not even you don't even have your own home home
right now, All of that matters. You can't settle a
soul when you can't even you know, you have to
settle inside some walls too. Yeah, And I think for
sure the awareness that you have too is great because
I remember when I got divorced, I just thought it
was like his issues and like not mine. So I
(28:52):
just was like straight into a relationship and like the
first person that like told me, I was pretty like
fell you know, fell into and then you realize, like
there is work to do. But also like I always
equated happiness like in a relationship. So if I was
in a relationship, that means I'm happy. If I wasn't,
then if I wasn't a relationship, that means that I'm
you know, not lovable or I wasn't happy, so like
(29:15):
I had to get to a place where I loved myself,
happy with myself, and then that's when it found. But
it took, you know a little over a year to
I love myself and like you know, and that's sitting
with yourself and doing some hard work, you know. But
I mean you'll you will find like that person that
will love you and that will not I know it's
(29:38):
out there because I've found it. I know I did.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Sweet whenever, like you find something that really works and
you just like want to convince the other person. It's
like I promise it's it's there. It's there. It's like
you can you can you can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make it drink. Like I feel like, yeah,
we all need to like get there when when we're ready,
and and I do. I don't know if you found
it a little different, but like since I do have
(30:01):
two kids, I have a two and a four year old,
I'm not like I remember my old self always being
like I need the guy. I want to have the kids.
I want to have the white picket fence. Like I
kind of been there, done that, and like I have
my kids. I always wanted to be a mother. I'm
so happy to be a mother. But I don't really
feel that timeline pressure anymore of like finding somebody to
(30:24):
be the guy to have the perfect life with. So
it's almost like, I don't I feel kind of content
in just if you're not, if you're not making my
life more magical in some way, then then I'm really
I'm not going to force it.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Well, it's a thing like one thousand percent. I was
the same way. I'm like, I have two kids, I
don't need any more kids. And it was not because
I'm like, why would I settle to be in something
I don't want to be. I will not be miserable
again in relationships and like why would I settle? Like
I got me and my kids, like I'm good, I
got my friends like happy. So yeah, if the settling
aspect is like I was, like, I will never go
(31:03):
back to that because I don't have that like ticking
right time I'm like, oh my god, I need to
have kids or you know.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
And you know what I feel. It makes me feel
so so sad because I'm like I'm able to afford
a single life and a lot of women just aren't
like they like, especially if they have kids and if
their ex like doesn't make any money to pay child
support and they're not making enough on their own. Like
(31:29):
I'm looking for rentals right now, like within a ten
mile radius of where my ex lives, like court ordered,
and it is so expensive to live here. I live
in LA I mean, I don't know how anybody who
isn't making good money can afford to not be in
a partnership like they would. Probably that's probably like half
the reason why these women are staying with men that
(31:50):
they don't love, because they can't live without that half
the income.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, that's that's so true. I remember, like, you know,
I'll dm with a few girls that have you know,
reached out, and that's like the number one thing they say.
They're like, I don't have like the resources or the
money to get out, And I'm just like, oh, like that,
Like it breaks my heart for them, because I never
want anyone to like be in a situation where they
they feel stuck and trapped and they can't get out
(32:17):
because they can't afford it or And that's just like
I was trying to do something like with Krista and
we actually just talked about the other day, like something
some kind of like single moms like charity where it's
like we can help like a mom, like here's rental
rent for so many months or whatever the anpony is, Like.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
It is a really good idea actually, Like they say
in I think it's like the Scandinavian countries. There it's
very common for them to live in communes and they
actually report like happier lifestyles. And we had something like that,
like it's just like, you know, have a bunch of
rich people donate and then buy some kind of a
commune and it's like a place for moms and kids
(32:56):
to go and live to when they're like in a
transitional period and they afford, you know, to live on
their own, but they're there, and I mean some of
these situations are abusive, you know. It's not just like
oh I'm not happy in my marriage, which I feel
like is reason enough to not stick around.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Hey, guys, throws in Scaniz and I'm Eric Winter and
together we host that, he said Aadijo podcast. Yes, after
eighteen years together fifteen married, we still disagree about a
lot of things, but we do it with much more
right Eric, Yes, dear, whatever you say. I mean, sometimes
we're gonna be a dream pupper.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Okay, here we go again.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
But I love the way we can be open and
honest with each other. Yeah, maybe a little too much,
but that's what people like, a real couple going through
real things. Well, when we're not disagreeing slash arguing, we
definitely chat with some fascinating people actors, musicians, life coaches,
marriage experts. We definitely need those.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Oh God.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Anyways, we love our listeners and they've been so supportive
through the years, so we must be doing something completely right.
More listen to he said a yadio as a part
of my coael Tura Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
podcasts or whatever. You listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
So you have a podcast now, I do, Yeah, I
tell us everything about it.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
One of my good friends. Yeah, it's called Barely Filter.
It's with my good friend Kristin, and she she looks
kind of like that, Kristin.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I mean we're copy paste. Yeah, she just had a baby.
I'm getting ready to have a baby on this episode.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I didn't want to ask because you never asked that question.
But I'm like, she looks round in these.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Macrol This is the most round one can look in
the sense like we're literally thirty nine weeks.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yeah, and having a boy or girl.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
We're not find She didn't know either, And do you
have other kids? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I have a boy and a girl. So this is
the type breaker.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Okay, she had two boys and she didn't. I think
they didn't want to find out because it's to be
so disappointed if they had another boy and it ended
up being a girl.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Oh yeah, Statistically, that's like not like normal, Like right,
isn't it hired to have, Like like Nicole's kid is
like a third boy? Isn't that usually how it works?
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I don't know. I know families with five girls. I
know families with five boys.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I feel like I lucked out with one beach.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
But okay, so your podcast is with her barely filtered.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, and and we talk about we talk about pretty
much everything. It's everything's very unfiltered. Talk a lot about
relationship stuff. She's happily married. She's kind of like one
of those She's in one of those marriages where you
just want to like geg because they're so like she
like meet dangles him all over the internet, he's super hot,
and we joke because she's like, she's like his six
(35:47):
packs rubbing up against my pregnant belly, and I'm like,
I don't think I've ever slept with a guy with
a six pack, Like I need to be the hotter one.
I don't want to. I don't want anybody who's like
making me feel like I need to go to the gym.
But anyway, we talk about every thing. We talk about health.
We have a lot of guests on who are specialists
around like fertility moones, like diet stuff, glucose, a lot
(36:10):
of kind of like spirituality aspects. We have some people
who went through big traumas and talk about dealing with grief. Uh.
Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad. We laugh, we cry.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
We were crying right before you came on.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Literally really yeah, yeah, you never know. You have to
wear your water to proof mascara to recordings just in case.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
I love that. I love the title too, because I
love that you're open. But I'm curious, are you How
are you with the headlines of things and comments and
people because you have a public family. You're like one
of five siblings.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Right, yeah, yeah, I mean I feel like I've dealt
with it naturally. I've dealt with it a little better
than some of my sisters have, just in terms of
different backlash of things that go on in our lives.
I honestly, I think I probably just engaged too much.
Like I'm that person who's like fighting with Joshmo and
(37:10):
Minnesota because like that, and especially when when there was
a lot of like hot politic topics, I feel like
I was always kind of on the verge of being
canceled because like, I'm pretty open about my beliefs about things,
and they don't always align with a lot of like
the the culture in.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
LA Like give us one, what's what's an example of that?
Because I want to get into it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Well, the most recent thing that I got that I
that turned into a huge thing was I I don't
believe it is ethically or morally sound to to give
a child any kind of drug that's going to change
their body or when they're young. Like I'm all towards
I'm all about like transitioning as an adult, but I
(37:55):
actually think it's criminal that parents are are giving their
kids things that are helping them transit when their brains
aren't even fully developed and people kind of I think
people a lot of times are like they're hearing what
they want to hear, and they're hearing me basically say, oh,
she's anti trans and she's not supporting people who want
(38:15):
to change their gender or their sexuality, which is not
what I'm saying. But like, I'm entitled to my opinion,
especially with regard to children, and also just like having
the kids wear masks and schools. I was very much
against that, and that was people did not like that.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, I have my I.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Have my views on birth control. I would think birth
control is fine. I think I think and Kristen's very
anti birth control. Like our our views are very different
in most things. Actually, like she's pretty extreme and I'm
a little bit more middle of the road.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
But wait, what's review on birth control? In what's hers?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
She's very anti birth control, she thinks, and we actually
have a guest coming on too, and who's going to
talk more about birth and and basically she says that
it's like it changes women more than we know, and
that it's just really bad for you, that it messes
with your like potential fertility and and your brain.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Were you on it? Were you on birth control, No, ma'am,
so I never. I never took birth control either, even
though I have, oh you have, Oh yes, I was
never on birth control. Oh I was on birth control.
I was just like a.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Big fan of it, Like it made my skin clear. Crazy.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
So the pill made me crazy.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I U D.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I did do IUD for a while. Yeah, it made
me nuts. In between, I'm not saying don't go on
you know people out there, but I'm just yeah, it
made me nuts. Yeah, I went crazy, and we don't
need to be any more crazy, so no, I.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Know, Yeah, for me, I think it actually made me
less crazy. I don't know if it had any long
term effects, like maybe I'd be a better version of
myself now had I never been on it. But my
thing is like she also like muckerdoses mushrooms and she
smokes weed, and I'm like, okay, how are you okay
with that stuff? Because it's like, you know, it's like
fringe medicine, but you're not okay with like like sometimes
(40:11):
I'm just like you're just you're just picking a side
to pick a side, like you just want to be contrary.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
But I think that's like America right now though, like
everyone just like picks aside and digs their heels in.
I'm like, it doesn't even have to be this polarizing.
We could just actually listen to each other and like
hear what we have to say, and that would be
okay too. Remember those days when we used to all
do that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (40:31):
What was it? I said?
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Do you remember the days when we all used to do that,
like actually hear each other and have a conversation instead
of it being like like listen.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
With the intent to understand, not to respond, and also
like not just yes, I totally I'm one thousand percent
This girl, Africa Brooks. I don't know if you've heard
of her, but that's her whole shick that like everybody
is afraid to speak or to be curious about something
without with the fear of offending somebody. Like I was
(40:59):
just on a trip and there were two there were
a couple, two dads and they have three kids, and
I was like, I was like, Okay, this is probably
the stupidest question, and I hope it's not not offensive,
but I'm just so curious. I'm like, how do you
know what which kid the dad's calling? Like if they
call you both dad and they're like, there are no
stupid questions, and I applaud you for for like asking me.
(41:21):
I feel like people sometimes just like don't say anything,
which is more awkward. It's like we should feel free
to ask our silly questions because we haven't all had
the same life experience.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Right, what did they say? Because now I'm curious.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
He said ones called daddy and one's called dad, but
sometimes they call them both dad. But that they could
tell just by like the tone of the voice. Ah, right,
which makes sense.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Yeah, No, I mean I personally, and I even tell
the girls because we haven't usually another host with us, Catherine,
and she's our opposer. Usually. Well that's I'm like, don't
agree with me because I'm like I don't want to
listen to something where everyone's like yeah I agree, Like yeah,
let's you know, I'm like, have a debate with me,
like I you know, we have very different opinions, so
(42:02):
let's like, let's voice that I think in this day
and age, like you're saying, it's people. Don't people just
want to go straight to like, oh, you must be
anti this, Like no, I'm not. I'm just these are
just my views. You don't have to agree with me,
and you also don't have to be mean and hateful
towards it too. We're all afraid of being canceled too.
Like I'm afraid of getting two people canceled because I
have this is my best friend and my husband's in
(42:24):
country music. So I'm like, I have to be extra care,
I know, because I could get both of them canceled fast.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
I know. That's like my sister. My sister's like like
my mom has very she has very strong views, and
she's one of those people who just like put it
all on Facebook, and my sister like made her delete
all of it because it's like what we say is
a reflection of each other in a lot of ways.
And so sometimes my sisters will text me and be like,
we take your story down right now, like we're not
(42:51):
going the.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Wild card I to do.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I love you, Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Well, thank you for coming on Wine Down. I love you.
I'm so glad that we were able to connect. And
We're going to listen to your podcast and yeah when
I'm in La this week.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Let's oh you're coming this week?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yeah for a week.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Oh amazing. If you have to have three like forty
five minutes and you're in West Hollywood, please stop by,
dear media, because we would love to have you on.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
It would be so fun. Yeah, that'd be so fun.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I would love to.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Help her pack a box because she's got to get
out quick.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
I know.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
We got to get you out, girl, We've got to
get you out of your place.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I know. Yeah. Then we'll go on like speed dating
or something fun. Oh yeah, I'll swipe have any friends.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
He's got a brother and he's got uh they're all married.
I think the ones in English married. He's not married.
He's got an older son. He's Scottish. Okay, the accents enough.
I gotta tell you, the accents really get our little
American hearts. They knock them out.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Best is your is your husband Scottish shoe or English
or something?
Speaker 2 (43:57):
No, mine's just super Southern. Oh yeah, Southern accents. How
I get myself in this position?
Speaker 1 (44:02):
So, oh my god. Yeah, maybe that's what I need.
I just needed an accent. My ACX was from Boston
and that accents, that's not it.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Speaking of birth control, that'll do it for me. And
I hate to be offensive. That's a birth control for me.
All right, girl, Well, we will chat with you soon.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Okay, thanks so much guys.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Ye what a fun a. I love Wildcard Aurora. She's fun.
I just like how like, I don't know, there's just
something really free. But it's not a challenge. I was
gonna say free. Yeah, it's not like you know how sometimes
people that are free I'm putting in air quotes like
that free speech are like a like liveing a fence.
(44:44):
She doesn't. She's just like, yeah here I am. Yeah, yeah,
once a year would never work for me. I just
want to be really clear. I would never Oh yeah's
a bigger woman than I am. I again, I this
is my have to stay politically correct and things. I
gave mine seven but not because I said so. No.
(45:09):
But if it works for you, that's great. I just
know for me that ain't gonna fly. No. Same And
I'm a little territorial Cramer, I mean you and I
both Yeah, I'm but no, that's mine. Yeah, I set
like it gets a little like that geo like animal kingdom.
For me, I just well and I have and again
(45:31):
I believe in the you know, the respect and the
love and that it will be hard. But that doesn't
mean to go sleep with someone else, no, and personally
for me in my relationships. And that's what I think
is so cool though it is about these conversations is
like it is. I felt like for a long long
time everyone was quiet. It was like the minute someone
(45:54):
made a mistake in a marriage, no one was working
on it. Like my Dallas mom Pam was the first
person to sit down with me and be like, Okay,
she was on her third husband when she was open
about loved it, and she was like, listen, it's not
always incredible. You really have to work well. And that's
the thing too, Like we've both been a cheater in
past relationships, and it's like I don't want that for that,
(46:15):
Like that's not who I wasn't wanting to be or
intending to be or any of those things, you know.
So like, and I think some people just don't work
well together too. Yes, I just talked to someone the
other day who's going through divorce and she was like,
I mean he's a good person, and I'm like, yeah,
it's okay that you don't mesh together either, right, Like,
no matter the work. Wow, Craamer, we really went all
(46:39):
over today. How's the contractions? I mean, I had a
strong one. While I was talking to her, I hope
it's today. I feel ready. It's funny to feel ready
because I've been so like hopeless romantic because I know
this is my last time. That's the emotional part. Yeah,
like I here we go. Oh, I know, nobod, it's good.
(47:02):
Why you crying because that's what I do. No, it's
just hot when it's your last. Like, I didn't think
i'd even get to do this again. So I've just hear. Yeah.
I mean I acted like legend was our last anyways,
and I soaked it up, and you know me, I'm
just such a feeling creature anyways. But yeah, I'm like
(47:23):
really ready to know who this person is. And then
I just also am like, oh, like every kick, I'm
like taking videos. It's like I can't bottle it up
fast enough. It's a lot. When more week, maybe less,
maybe another hour? Well, my last baby, why don't you
send us off? Oh creamer, goodbye house, Goodbye pregnant belly.
(47:45):
Next time we are on Windown, we'll be out of
a different location and down one lass heartbeat on the couch.
I love you, I love you too. This is a
good end of the chapter. Front I'm proud of you.
Proud of you baby. Let's pack a box and have
a baby. Okay, yours not mine. Mine's too soon. Go
bye and bye. Mhm
Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I'm heart radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Friend. Holy Matt, You're not supposed to be here, and
either is this baby? Why am I still pregnant? So
last Thursday we had an episode and you texted me saying,
all right, yeah, you're like, bs, I'm really trying to
have his baby before you head out of town and
(00:28):
my husband heads out of town. Well you sew this.
Let's see. So a week ago, a week ago, six
days ago, I wake up and I'm having contractions every
three to five minutes, and you thought, did you think
you're for sure having the baby? Then?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But I was like, well, I'm not not having a baby,
you know right. It's like a weird feeling because I'm like, well,
doesn't feel this intense, but it is. And my obi
was like, you should probably just go into triage have
him check you out. And she's not a panicker, so
I was like, hmm, she definitely feels something, you know,
no dilation. It's like such a defeating feeling. So they
sent me home, and honestly, I hope somebody can relate
(01:06):
to this. I feel like a lot of it is
just the noise and the stress around me and my
body right now, Like me and my bodies feel really
good about this baby. The baby and I are like
in alignment. God loves us. We're ready to rock when
it's time. There's so many moving pieces around us. Like
(01:27):
my husband is touring and will he's starting to go
further away, so he goes to Utah, Denver, New Mexico.
That feels very far if you're going to have a
third baby, and it could be quick. Yeah, So just
gets noisy and I just feel like all of that.
So you know, it's like everyone's like hyper checking in
on you, tour managers all the things, Like there's like
(01:49):
three camps of people going. So you feel, how do
you feel? It's like I've never had such a public
cervix in all my life, Like can I just publix?
I just be pregnant and just patiently await a baby.
But I can't well, I mean, selfishly, it's been I'm like,
(02:09):
can we like have a sea section? You were like
you were actually I have to share the selfish moment.
I was texting you and I was like I just
don't know what's happening, and like there's no dilation. I'm
not I haven't been a water breaker before, so I
don't anticipate that happening this time, but you never know.
And you're like, you can elect for a sea section,
(02:31):
we can have a sea section right now. And I
was like, oh, I love you so much. The artist
doesn't sneak up much, but when it does, well, No,
my doctor had always like when I was pregnant with Jolie,
she was like, or you can have the baby at
thirty nine weeks and do a sea section. Yeah, I haven't.
I hit thirty nine weeks like today, so it was
just a little early in my Yeah, it's just really
(02:53):
been something. Anyways, I was up all night contracting, So
that's great news, I hope. So most likely, well, I
mean I'm not this is all. This is going to
actually kind of make me sad. This is the last, man.
I am not emotionally stable enough for all the last
It's a lot of last I know, the last time
(03:13):
being in this house, in this room doing wind down,
the last time you will I mean the baby, the
night time you have you do wind down, you'll have
a baby. This is my last with baby podcasts. I
got emotional on our last wind down two or two. Yeah,
I just love it so much. Yeah, I don't want
(03:35):
to be gone long. Well you won't, okay alive from
Centennial Hospital. Can we do that? I'm just kidding you know, ma'am.
But we were sad to miss you last Thursday. It's
always uh, and we will be sad to miss you.
I don't necessarily have to miss too much. No, I
mean you've known. You were my first call when I
(03:56):
found out I was pregnant. Love that we get to
say it out loud. Yeah, this is a really everything
to me. Oh yeah, if we've really been in it.
I have FaceTime pictures of you and I both times
i've been in labor. I really would prefer it if
it was like in person. Yeah, but we can do
(04:19):
that again if we have to. When I called you,
did you what like? What was your first initial when
I told you that I was pregnant because we never
got to have like your we got like Catherine's. And
did you think that I would even though I've told
I said no to like I wouldn't have another kid?
Did you think I would have? Yes? I thought you'd
have another one? Really? Yeah, Alan's handsome and you guys
just are magic. I mean, and I like it when
(04:44):
our plans get thrown out the window and God has
bigger plans, especially for people with our personality type. Do
you know where I struggle though? And I'm not trying
to get like no, tell me everything. Yeah. So the
last so Thursday's episode, this before I went back to
my guy now and because you know, I had that
(05:06):
hemorrhage or whatever. Yes, I didn't know how much everyone knows. Well,
I told that I was bleeding for the first trimester,
which was scary awful. Yeah, I mean because that was
the reason why I didn't want to have another one,
because I just don't want to go through another miscarriage again.
So I think so many people relate to that. Yeah,
I mean, yeah, it's I even feel it right now,
(05:28):
Like if I don't feel a baby, right, it's the
scarcity mentality sticks with you. It's the PTSD, right. So
the whole like hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage thing has been so
like just like scary, you know. And so what we
go back and they're like, great news, your hemorrhage is
down below you know, it's like below two centimeter. She's
(05:50):
like bad news. And I'm like like why, you know, like,
can I just have good good news? Can it? Just
like she's like, you're fibroid. She's like, has like pretty
much doubled in size. I means that doubled. But she's like,
it's one of the on the larger ones we've seen.
And then don't go to Google because I'm goovering you know,
(06:10):
large fibroid, you know, with the size of mine, and
because right now it's at eleven centimeters okay, and like
a large is like ten to fifteen. And she's like,
if it keeps growing, we're gonna have She's like, and
we could already have. She's like, we can have issues.
We can not have issues. And I'm like, okay, what
(06:32):
are like because I like to be in the no right,
I'm like, okay, what are the issues? Like what could happen?
And She's like explaining all the stuff to me and
I'm just like, oh my god. And then you know,
but then but then the flip side's like or it
could be fine. So there's nothing they can do, right, No,
they can't. They can't go in and get it. Now
what I didn't think and this is what's so great
(06:54):
that will shrink it? No, I've done like I've looked
and Google, so like, which so crazy is that I
I had like stomach pain before I was pregnant and
I was a little bloated, and so everyone was just like, oh,
it's your gut, your gut, your gut. So I was
like doing gut stuff. Well, now, come to find out,
it's because I have this massive fibroid. Yeah, like huge, Yeah,
(07:16):
so I should have it would have you should take
those out before, But I didn't know, Like how would
I know that I had a fibroid. It's not like
I'm going to get like ultra sounds on my stomach
or whatever. So but long story short, I'm just kind
of like, so now when I go do the movie,
she's making me, not making me, but she's like, you,
we need to see what this fibroid's doing because it's
like a blood sucking it'll try to take the placenta.
(07:41):
And I'm like if I well, I want I know.
And that's where I was like starting to struggle. Was
just like I won't be able to make sense of
God blessing and then God taking you know what I mean,
Like I didn't think that this is like I'm this
is such a miracle, baby anyways, like, how in the
world did I get pregnant so easy? So it isn't
on any medicine easy, and like that never happened before.
(08:05):
I was like, you know, having to do the IVFS
and then this and then that and the like having
to have the progesterone in my body for the other two.
I think that's why that worked. But I'm like every
other time i'd lose I'm like, how So it's just
like it's a lot. So we just need to like
if anyone has because I'm like a Googling like fiend
right now, be like, okay, massive fibroids, you know, like
(08:25):
healthy pregnancies, and I just like I don't see any
forms or anything. So if there's anyone that had a
very large vibroid right next to your baby when you're pregnant,
can you please DM me? Because I just want someone.
I want to talk to someone about it. Yeah, and
also liked scary Yeah, and I'd like good story, but
I mean I want to hear all of it. Yeah.
But also I think there's probably more good stories than
(08:46):
Google likes to share too. Google sucks Google well for
a lot of reasons. Where would you like to start
it is tricky though, Like I do feel like it's
the noise, Like that's where I got to last week,
Like I got home from the hospital and I just
got in a bathtub and I was like, I need
to shut the door in present's like got it. I
just feel like we don't even get a chance to
(09:07):
like listen to our own heart beats because everything is
like so noisy and so catastrophic, and it can be
those things. I'm not living in a false reality, but
I'm also like, okay, but also can I just have
a minute to like remember whose I am? Who gifted
me this baby, Who's gonna walk me through this baby?
Because God and I have done a lot of ear
(09:28):
bending with each other. But that's where I have a
hard time, because I'm like the babies that like this
still bursts and the like the myth I'm just like,
and I can look at it now now having my
children going Okay, these were I understand, but I wouldn't.
I hope I will never have to make sense of
right that I will say this. Do you remember Okay,
so you know a year It's been over a year
(09:50):
since I walked the still birth with my friend Ashley
Micah James. We talked about him on Windown. Little baby
born at six months in utero, one pound, one ounce,
precious little man. She had her baby last week. Oh
I love that, I know, and I have to share
this because this is really hopeful too. So she and
I were the only two women in that room that
(10:11):
walked that together, and we both were due within like
a day of each other with these babies.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I know.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And she had her sweet little boy, Knox Isaiah, six
pounds three ounces, like three days before Hermiicah James anniversary.
I love that. See that's like and those stories are amazing.
I love that. And what I said last week is
I was like, I like, I'm done after this. So
it's like, oh please, this is where I've been. So
(10:44):
the four of us can't be together on a podcast.
So that's where I'm like, please work. No, it's gonna work.
It's gonna work. But there's just there's so many like
and you don't know, there's just never stressors. But I'm
just like, oh my god, Like it's like like because
I just I wouldn't this was this is it? This
(11:04):
was a one and done. Yeah, you know, it's so
crazy because I have tried to keep myself in such
a positive place, but the what ifs are so real. Well,
and it's the thing is like, you know, we have
a name for this, babes, and it's like it's so
you know what it is too, it all matters. And
it's like I just can't imagine people that, like, I know,
(11:25):
but I like that, I just could not imagine because
I've like seen like people like my friends just had
a still birth, and I'm like, I can't, like I
can't imagine. I know, but God does walk you not
trying to be like all niggies, you know what I mean. No, no, no,
I mean I just I walked it with her so
intimately that I'm just I've just never seen. That was
(11:46):
the most sacred anointed space I've ever been a part
of in my entire life. I can't describe how that
was probably the most the closest to God in the
thinnest place I've ever been in my life. Hmm. And
there and that baby didn't cry. Oh it's gonna be
I'm just I know, but it does. Matt. I mean,
it's like He will just never bring us somewhere he
(12:07):
can't get us through. Yeah, he just won't look at us. Yeah,
holy shit, look at us right, Yeah, for sure, And
I know everything always like I think it's just like,
well also early, you know, second try master, it's just scary.
It's just it's a I well, also, you love you're
a good moms. If you were like, yeah, give or take,
I mean I'd be really questioning, you know, like this
(12:28):
is a you love your people so well, yeah, and
it's fair to be scared. We just have to go
one day at a time. I know, I text this
to you the other day, but I was like, I
think for our people specifically, we love like a plan,
we love. We just love to know a lot of
people do. But like the things that make us stay
(12:49):
inside of a minute before it pushes us to another
minute are really a gift to our type are a
type personalities. Yeah, so this baby's making you do that, right,
It's just would be nice to not have to like yeah,
you know, but you know again, I know abid fight, right,
but I also know how fortunate I am to be
able to be pregnant and how people you know are
(13:09):
not are struggling and going. So it's like I also
see that side too, So I feel very fortunate. You
can hold both. Yeah, I can be grateful and have
a little grief, yeah and the yeah. So yeah, but
I mean, so far everything's great. It's just hopefully fibroid
gets it doesn't grow anymore. So if it stays the same,
(13:33):
I'll probably have pre term labor, is what she said. Okay,
so they would just but you'd see section anyway. Yeah,
but the thing is like, you want to catch it
before that promption. So okay, staying inside the minute, staying
inside the minute and stay and so I lets talk
to a supermodel today.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I walked in.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
And I was like, I'm dressed like a gangster wrapper
because that's the portion of the program. I can't even
wear any tight fitting cute maternity col But I'm trying
to find was was she the one we talked about?
So it's Olivia Colpo's sister, But was this the one
that was married that hap yeah? Or is this was
she the one that gave the hall pass? But then wait,
(14:16):
oh it is her? Okay, great. Hannah's like, yes, I
wonder do you think it's something where we can talk
about that. I don't want to be like rude, but
it's also she put it out there. Yeah, I mean,
how many people ask you you put out there? I
know she know what podcast she's coming up. Listen, Aurora, listen.
(14:37):
But no, I'm excited to she's got any podcast coming out,
so that'll be I'm interested to hear all about it.
Let's take a break and get her on. I'm jan
(15:01):
I'm Kristen him. All right, girl, So I have to
start with and if it's okay, So we actually covered
something that was on y'all show because with this podcast,
you know, we've talked a lot about infidelity and marriages obviously,
like we talked about like my divorce and because he
(15:22):
had some affairs, and and then we talked about how
on your show you basically said you gave your now
ex husband right a hall pass, And so we discussed
it and I'm like, listen, like for me, I'm like,
I couldn't. I could never do it all pass. I
mean just because for me that trust is so important
(15:43):
in a relationship. And so when doing a little bit
of research now seeing that you are divorced, do you
think that trust peace was the kind of nail that
just killed it all? Welcome to wind Down? Yeah, sorry, welcome,
Welcome were jump right into it.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
No, I was excited actually to be on your podcast
because I feel like you and I kind of have
that in common where it's like I really have no
shame in my game in terms of like I'm not
embarrassed to talk about the things that have happened that
I tried to work through that you know, some of
it didn't work, some of it did work, and hopefully,
(16:20):
if nothing else, like people can learn from it. So
it's interesting that you phrase it like that. It's a
trust thing because the whole reason why I gave him
that like hall paths, which we called it a one
a year. So when I met him, I had come
out of this relationship, well I thought it was a relationship.
It turns out I was like the side piece who
(16:41):
thought she was the girlfriend and this guy was an
MLB player and was basically having a girlfriend in a
different city. And I think when I came out of that,
I kind of had this. And to be quite honest,
I don't know if if if I don't know if
I still don't believe this, but I felt like men
(17:02):
are wired evolutionarily to want to spread their seed far
and wide, and so for them to be in a
monogamous relationship. I wasn't really sure if it's if it
was possible, and if it was possible, are they are
they happy? Are they living in their in their like
true self? So I felt like what we had was
(17:22):
so special and that if a man needs some kind
of sexual escapade, you know, or the freedom to feel
like he is allowed to do that, then that wouldn't
interfere with what we had because it's just sex. So
and for me, I felt like I didn't need that,
But if he did, who want to tell him not
(17:46):
to explore that as long as I'm the one who
he wants to be life partners with. So I said, okay,
you're allowed once a year to have sex with somebody else.
They don't roll over, You can't. It can't be anybody
we know. You can't keep in contact with them. You
have to use protection. If there's any kind of emotional feeling,
(18:09):
do you have to be upfront about it. And I
don't want to know about it because I had a
feeling that I, you know, I would have feelings about it.
And I thought that by giving him and he our
agreement was that well, what he had said to me
is like just having that freedom, knowing that, like if
I go on a trip or if I'm out, just
knowing that I have the freedom to possibly connect with
(18:30):
somebody else in this way, you know, I'm not going
to have to use it. And he didn't use it.
He didn't use it for like eight years, and they
ended up using it when I was pregnant with our
second child after COVID, when our relationship was already like
on the rocks for so many other reasons, and of
course somebody DMed me and they were like, just so
you know, like your husband slept with blah blah blah,
(18:52):
and they gave me the full rundown on like everything
they did. And I'm like, you know, when somebody describes
sex with your husband, like you know that that's I
knew it was true, and I confronted him about it
and he lied any gas lit me and he said,
you know, if you keep if you keep digging, if
you keep X, Y and Z, then like it's over.
And this we had already been in therapy at this point,
(19:15):
just for other reasons that we had grown apart, and
so people think that our divorce was because he, you know,
took advantage of this freedom that I gave him, but
actually it's not at all like the I didn't like
that he lied to me after, and of course he
said like, oh, well, you weren't supposed to know. He
told me not to tell you. You know, when somebody
wants you to be honest and they're asking for honesty
(19:36):
and you're not giving it, and then you're making kind
of an excuse that's very convenient for you to not
be honest that you know that, that definitely was did
not make me feel good. So when I ended up
finding out, and you know you always do, I was like,
I was like being serious, like a detective, and I
ended up putting out in some like encrypted message system.
(19:58):
I never looked through his phone our entire li relationship,
but I did this one time and I ended up
finding out about it, and he and so he admitted it,
and I said, okay, well, I thought i'd be okay
with it when I made the agreement with our relationship
was so strong. I don't know if I would have
been okay with it then, but like at this point
in time, I'm not okay with it anymore. And it
(20:21):
wasn't a freedom he was willing to give up, and
he mostly was upset that I had changed my mind
about everything, and then we ended up, and then we
went therapy for a year, and we ended up calling
it quits with our marriage, not because of the one year,
but basically just because of like I was no longer
the kind of person that would that, well, I no
(20:42):
longer yeah yeah, and he and he was upset that
I had changed my mind because honestly, he had been this.
He's the same person he was when I met him,
and I'm not so I really don't hold any resentment
towards him about that, and if anything, he's resembled towards
(21:04):
me for changing my mind, and then also now kind
of sharing our story in a way that I think
he was a little surprised that people didn't look kindly
on that. And people call it cheating, and he's like,
you told everybody I cheated on you, and I'm like,
I know, I actually never did. I sent me in
an agreement with you. You took advantage of it, and
(21:26):
I'm not okay with it anymore.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
And it is interesting though, that like, you can change
your mind, but he is not allowed to change, like
he didn't use it for so long. So he also
changed his mind actually, and it's okay that it didn't
like it's very that's very gas lady.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, I also he said he started using it because, well,
you know, I had one baby breasted him for fifteen months.
He didn't sleep for the whole freaking year. I was
like up and down with my moods from my hormones,
and I had got pregnant with another baby was covid.
I was breastfeeding her and like he was like, well,
you're not giving me sex. You know, that's like always
the thing. You're not giving me enough sex. He's like,
(22:05):
and sorry, I was once a week, but it was
like the like it wasn't like passionate love sex. It
was like we got in this cycle of like me
feeling guilt tripped into having sex and it's just not
it wasn't working.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So yeah, well, I also want to affirm you too
and just say, like, I hope his gas lighting of
making you feel like it's your fault, that it's not
your fault. I hope you can like let that like
that you know that it's first of all, it's one
million percent okay that you're not comfortable with your husband
sleeping with somebody else and that you know you ended
(22:44):
up not wanting that in your marriage. That is one
million percent okay. So I hope his gas lighting of well,
you've changed you you you you you doesn't think in well,
if I would have only done this, like we would
be happy and I'd be married, and like, you know,
I hope you don't carry his gaslighting.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, no, I feel okay about it. Like I take
full responsibility for my part in that. You know, I
did give him the impression that this was something I
was going to be okay with, and I did. I
think I felt bad for a while about like changing
my mind. But now that we're you know, we're like
almost two years into this divorce. That's like the never
ending divorce. I actually, on June ninth, I have to
(23:24):
move out of this house. Every day after I stay,
I owe him a thousand dollars or I like really
need to move out. Like after this, I'm gonna like
start moving stuff into my storage unit. I'm like living
in the most tellish limbo right now. But I feel
very good about I just know that we're I feel
I believe in soul contracts. I believe we've meant to
have our children together. He's a great father. I'm happy
(23:47):
to do like this partnership with him. It would really
suck if I had to speak to somebody every day
who I can't stand. I have a lot of love
for him, but I don't don't I don't want to
be in a partnership with him. He's just not my person.
Nuts damn sure.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So next relationship, what do you want? And do you
still think that men have to have because I don't know.
Maybe I'm just like I mean, I've obviously been through
the ringer with the x is, but I still believe,
like I believe my fiance when he says he's never
(24:22):
going to be with another I do. I believe him
he's never going to be inappropriate with another woman. And
like I get people to say, there's a lot of
people that have that same thing, like men are not
supposed to just be with one woman like that, you know,
monogamy is not normal and whatever they say, But I
just I don't know, Like I know it's hard, I
know it's stale and stuff, but I still just think
(24:44):
like there's they're not that someone can be faithful.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, no, And I have a lot of respect for
you with your story and your and you're with your ex,
because I think it is a lot of there's this
there's kind of this CULTU now of just like oh
it's hard, let's move on, like let's give up. And
I do believe in trying, but I also believe in
(25:10):
really like listening to your gut and your body. And
sometimes I do think when we know it's time to
move on, we have a responsibility to do so. And
like I said, like I believe in soul contracts, and
I think sometimes those contracts can totally be for a
lifetime and sometimes not. And if you're with a partner
who is growing with you, and you guys are are
(25:31):
committed to checking in with each other and being on
the same page and really trying to build a life
where you are mutually helping each other's evolution, then for
sure that can last a lifetime. It's not easy, and
I don't think that most people can do it well.
But I have faith that you will because I feel
like you've done a lot of work and you've you know,
(25:53):
you've been through the trials.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Well, thank you. But for you, though, like what is
going to be like do you want to get married again?
Like do you what would you tell your new husband?
Like what what? What's your stance? Now?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh my god, I'm on hingin Ryah right now. Yes,
I started. Oh, it's like literally and.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
What do you think about Rya because I feel like
it's just like model boy, model boy, model boy, and
they all like no, I mean the area is like
whatever I mean I met I didn't meet my fans
on Riya, but I mean like he lived in England
when I met him. But it was like all these
people on RYA are like not from anywhere close.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I feel like I know, they're like just they're like
I'll be in La for like twenty days, like want
to meet up for coffee. I'm like why, and then
back to Brazil. I'm not having luck. I'm not gonna lie.
I started talking to one guy, funny enough, he was
from England too, and I ended up like finding out
that he lied about his age and by like three
(26:51):
years and my ex was fifteen years older than me.
Like I'm not afraid of an older person. So just
to start off with a lie, and to be able
to lie so effortlessly and about something so trivial, like
I was like, okay, this is not a foundation I
need to start with The other guy started talking to me,
was like, yeah, I've been in polygamist relationships. I've been
(27:14):
in blah blah blah. And I told him about my situation.
She's like, it sounds like you were in a polygamoust
relationship too, and I'm like maybe I was, but like yeah,
I mean I would love to get married again. I
would love to have like some kind of a blend
family that that's like a dream of mine. Right now,
(27:34):
I feel like I'm in such a I just know
that what I'm attracting is instability in another person, or
like I'm seeking a person to try to make my
life more stable because it has been just so okay.
We've been nesting in one house, like he's been at
our other house in Palm Springs while I'm here so
(27:56):
that we don't have to uproove with the kids. And
now I'm gonna be renting when I keep like losing
the It's like if my life is just very chaotic
where I just don't see me attracting anything functional at
the moment, I would love to get to a place
where I feel so grounded in myself and like just
really like in love with myself and so I can
attract I just know that I'm not going to attract
(28:18):
that until I get there myself. So do I want
it to happen Dune, Yes, I'm going to have to
make some serious changes because I don't know. The wine
every night is not doing it for me.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
But there's a season, Like, don't be hard on yourself either,
because there is a season, and space matters, like you're
not even you don't even have your own home home
right now, All of that matters. You can't settle a
soul when you can't even you know, you have to
settle inside some walls too. Yeah, And I think for
sure the awareness that you have too is great because
I remember when I got divorced, I just thought it
was like his issues and like not mine. So I
(28:52):
just was like straight into a relationship and like the
first person that like told me, I was pretty like
fell you know, fell into and then you realize, like
there is work to do. But also like I always
equated happiness like in a relationship. So if I was
in a relationship, that means I'm happy. If I wasn't,
then if I wasn't a relationship, that means that I'm
you know, not lovable or I wasn't happy, so like
(29:15):
I had to get to a place where I loved myself,
happy with myself, and then that's when it found. But
it took, you know a little over a year to
I love myself and like you know, and that's sitting
with yourself and doing some hard work, you know. But
I mean you'll you will find like that person that
will love you and that will not I know it's
(29:38):
out there because I've found it. I know I did.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Sweet whenever, like you find something that really works and
you just like want to convince the other person. It's
like I promise it's it's there. It's there. It's like
you can you can you can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make it drink. Like I feel like, yeah,
we all need to like get there when when we're ready,
and and I do. I don't know if you found
it a little different, but like since I do have
(30:01):
two kids, I have a two and a four year old,
I'm not like I remember my old self always being
like I need the guy. I want to have the kids.
I want to have the white picket fence. Like I
kind of been there, done that, and like I have
my kids. I always wanted to be a mother. I'm
so happy to be a mother. But I don't really
feel that timeline pressure anymore of like finding somebody to
(30:24):
be the guy to have the perfect life with. So
it's almost like, I don't I feel kind of content
in just if you're not, if you're not making my
life more magical in some way, then then I'm really
I'm not going to force it.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Well, it's a thing like one thousand percent. I was
the same way. I'm like, I have two kids, I
don't need any more kids. And it was not because
I'm like, why would I settle to be in something
I don't want to be. I will not be miserable
again in relationships and like why would I settle? Like
I got me and my kids, like I'm good, I
got my friends like happy. So yeah, if the settling
aspect is like I was, like, I will never go
(31:03):
back to that because I don't have that like ticking
right time I'm like, oh my god, I need to
have kids or you know.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
And you know what I feel. It makes me feel
so so sad because I'm like I'm able to afford
a single life and a lot of women just aren't
like they like, especially if they have kids and if
their ex like doesn't make any money to pay child
support and they're not making enough on their own. Like
(31:29):
I'm looking for rentals right now, like within a ten
mile radius of where my ex lives, like court ordered,
and it is so expensive to live here. I live
in LA I mean, I don't know how anybody who
isn't making good money can afford to not be in
a partnership like they would. Probably that's probably like half
the reason why these women are staying with men that
(31:50):
they don't love, because they can't live without that half
the income.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, that's that's so true. I remember, like, you know,
I'll dm with a few girls that have you know,
reached out, and that's like the number one thing they say.
They're like, I don't have like the resources or the
money to get out, And I'm just like, oh, like that,
Like it breaks my heart for them, because I never
want anyone to like be in a situation where they
they feel stuck and trapped and they can't get out
(32:17):
because they can't afford it or And that's just like
I was trying to do something like with Krista and
we actually just talked about the other day, like something
some kind of like single moms like charity where it's
like we can help like a mom, like here's rental
rent for so many months or whatever the anpony is, Like.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
It is a really good idea actually, Like they say
in I think it's like the Scandinavian countries. There it's
very common for them to live in communes and they
actually report like happier lifestyles. And we had something like that,
like it's just like, you know, have a bunch of
rich people donate and then buy some kind of a
commune and it's like a place for moms and kids
(32:56):
to go and live to when they're like in a
transitional period and they afford, you know, to live on
their own, but they're there, and I mean some of
these situations are abusive, you know. It's not just like
oh I'm not happy in my marriage, which I feel
like is reason enough to not stick around.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Hey, guys, throws in Scaniz and I'm Eric Winter and
together we host that, he said Aadijo podcast. Yes, after
eighteen years together fifteen married, we still disagree about a
lot of things, but we do it with much more
right Eric, Yes, dear, whatever you say. I mean, sometimes
we're gonna be a dream pupper.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Okay, here we go again.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
But I love the way we can be open and
honest with each other. Yeah, maybe a little too much,
but that's what people like, a real couple going through
real things. Well, when we're not disagreeing slash arguing, we
definitely chat with some fascinating people actors, musicians, life coaches,
marriage experts. We definitely need those.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Oh God.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Anyways, we love our listeners and they've been so supportive
through the years, so we must be doing something completely right.
More listen to he said a yadio as a part
of my coael Tura Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
podcasts or whatever. You listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
So you have a podcast now, I do, Yeah, I
tell us everything about it.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
One of my good friends. Yeah, it's called Barely Filter.
It's with my good friend Kristin, and she she looks
kind of like that, Kristin.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I mean we're copy paste. Yeah, she just had a baby.
I'm getting ready to have a baby on this episode.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I didn't want to ask because you never asked that question.
But I'm like, she looks round in these.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Macrol This is the most round one can look in
the sense like we're literally thirty nine weeks.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yeah, and having a boy or girl.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
We're not find She didn't know either, And do you
have other kids? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I have a boy and a girl. So this is
the type breaker.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Okay, she had two boys and she didn't. I think
they didn't want to find out because it's to be
so disappointed if they had another boy and it ended
up being a girl.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Oh yeah, Statistically, that's like not like normal, Like right,
isn't it hired to have, Like like Nicole's kid is
like a third boy? Isn't that usually how it works?
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I don't know. I know families with five girls. I
know families with five boys.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I feel like I lucked out with one beach.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
But okay, so your podcast is with her barely filtered.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, and and we talk about we talk about pretty
much everything. It's everything's very unfiltered. Talk a lot about
relationship stuff. She's happily married. She's kind of like one
of those She's in one of those marriages where you
just want to like geg because they're so like she
like meet dangles him all over the internet, he's super hot,
and we joke because she's like, she's like his six
(35:47):
packs rubbing up against my pregnant belly, and I'm like,
I don't think I've ever slept with a guy with
a six pack, Like I need to be the hotter one.
I don't want to. I don't want anybody who's like
making me feel like I need to go to the gym.
But anyway, we talk about every thing. We talk about health.
We have a lot of guests on who are specialists
around like fertility moones, like diet stuff, glucose, a lot
(36:10):
of kind of like spirituality aspects. We have some people
who went through big traumas and talk about dealing with grief. Uh.
Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad. We laugh, we cry.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
We were crying right before you came on.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Literally really yeah, yeah, you never know. You have to
wear your water to proof mascara to recordings just in case.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
I love that. I love the title too, because I
love that you're open. But I'm curious, are you How
are you with the headlines of things and comments and
people because you have a public family. You're like one
of five siblings.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Right, yeah, yeah, I mean I feel like I've dealt
with it naturally. I've dealt with it a little better
than some of my sisters have, just in terms of
different backlash of things that go on in our lives.
I honestly, I think I probably just engaged too much.
Like I'm that person who's like fighting with Joshmo and
(37:10):
Minnesota because like that, and especially when when there was
a lot of like hot politic topics, I feel like
I was always kind of on the verge of being
canceled because like, I'm pretty open about my beliefs about things,
and they don't always align with a lot of like
the the culture in.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
LA Like give us one, what's what's an example of that?
Because I want to get into it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Well, the most recent thing that I got that I
that turned into a huge thing was I I don't
believe it is ethically or morally sound to to give
a child any kind of drug that's going to change
their body or when they're young. Like I'm all towards
I'm all about like transitioning as an adult, but I
(37:55):
actually think it's criminal that parents are are giving their
kids things that are helping them transit when their brains
aren't even fully developed and people kind of I think
people a lot of times are like they're hearing what
they want to hear, and they're hearing me basically say, oh,
she's anti trans and she's not supporting people who want
(38:15):
to change their gender or their sexuality, which is not
what I'm saying. But like, I'm entitled to my opinion,
especially with regard to children, and also just like having
the kids wear masks and schools. I was very much
against that, and that was people did not like that.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, I have my I.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Have my views on birth control. I would think birth
control is fine. I think I think and Kristen's very
anti birth control. Like our our views are very different
in most things. Actually, like she's pretty extreme and I'm
a little bit more middle of the road.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
But wait, what's review on birth control? In what's hers?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
She's very anti birth control, she thinks, and we actually
have a guest coming on too, and who's going to
talk more about birth and and basically she says that
it's like it changes women more than we know, and
that it's just really bad for you, that it messes
with your like potential fertility and and your brain.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Were you on it? Were you on birth control, No, ma'am,
so I never. I never took birth control either, even
though I have, oh you have, Oh yes, I was
never on birth control. Oh I was on birth control.
I was just like a.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Big fan of it, Like it made my skin clear. Crazy.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
So the pill made me crazy.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I U D.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I did do IUD for a while. Yeah, it made
me nuts. In between, I'm not saying don't go on
you know people out there, but I'm just yeah, it
made me nuts. Yeah, I went crazy, and we don't
need to be any more crazy, so no, I.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Know, Yeah, for me, I think it actually made me
less crazy. I don't know if it had any long
term effects, like maybe I'd be a better version of
myself now had I never been on it. But my
thing is like she also like muckerdoses mushrooms and she
smokes weed, and I'm like, okay, how are you okay
with that stuff? Because it's like, you know, it's like
fringe medicine, but you're not okay with like like sometimes
(40:11):
I'm just like you're just you're just picking a side
to pick a side, like you just want to be contrary.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
But I think that's like America right now though, like
everyone just like picks aside and digs their heels in.
I'm like, it doesn't even have to be this polarizing.
We could just actually listen to each other and like
hear what we have to say, and that would be
okay too. Remember those days when we used to all
do that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (40:31):
What was it? I said?
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Do you remember the days when we all used to do that,
like actually hear each other and have a conversation instead
of it being like like listen.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
With the intent to understand, not to respond, and also
like not just yes, I totally I'm one thousand percent
This girl, Africa Brooks. I don't know if you've heard
of her, but that's her whole shick that like everybody
is afraid to speak or to be curious about something
without with the fear of offending somebody. Like I was
(40:59):
just on a trip and there were two there were
a couple, two dads and they have three kids, and
I was like, I was like, Okay, this is probably
the stupidest question, and I hope it's not not offensive,
but I'm just so curious. I'm like, how do you
know what which kid the dad's calling? Like if they
call you both dad and they're like, there are no
stupid questions, and I applaud you for for like asking me.
(41:21):
I feel like people sometimes just like don't say anything,
which is more awkward. It's like we should feel free
to ask our silly questions because we haven't all had
the same life experience.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Right, what did they say? Because now I'm curious.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
He said ones called daddy and one's called dad, but
sometimes they call them both dad. But that they could
tell just by like the tone of the voice. Ah, right,
which makes sense.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Yeah, No, I mean I personally, and I even tell
the girls because we haven't usually another host with us, Catherine,
and she's our opposer. Usually. Well that's I'm like, don't
agree with me because I'm like I don't want to
listen to something where everyone's like yeah I agree, Like yeah,
let's you know, I'm like, have a debate with me,
like I you know, we have very different opinions, so
(42:02):
let's like, let's voice that I think in this day
and age, like you're saying, it's people. Don't people just
want to go straight to like, oh, you must be
anti this, Like no, I'm not. I'm just these are
just my views. You don't have to agree with me,
and you also don't have to be mean and hateful
towards it too. We're all afraid of being canceled too.
Like I'm afraid of getting two people canceled because I
have this is my best friend and my husband's in
(42:24):
country music. So I'm like, I have to be extra care,
I know, because I could get both of them canceled fast.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
I know. That's like my sister. My sister's like like
my mom has very she has very strong views, and
she's one of those people who just like put it
all on Facebook, and my sister like made her delete
all of it because it's like what we say is
a reflection of each other in a lot of ways.
And so sometimes my sisters will text me and be like,
we take your story down right now, like we're not
(42:51):
going the.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Wild card I to do.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I love you, Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Well, thank you for coming on Wine Down. I love you.
I'm so glad that we were able to connect. And
We're going to listen to your podcast and yeah when
I'm in La this week.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Let's oh you're coming this week?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yeah for a week.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Oh amazing. If you have to have three like forty
five minutes and you're in West Hollywood, please stop by,
dear media, because we would love to have you on.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
It would be so fun. Yeah, that'd be so fun.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I would love to.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Help her pack a box because she's got to get
out quick.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
I know.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
We got to get you out, girl, We've got to
get you out of your place.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I know. Yeah. Then we'll go on like speed dating
or something fun. Oh yeah, I'll swipe have any friends.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
He's got a brother and he's got uh they're all married.
I think the ones in English married. He's not married.
He's got an older son. He's Scottish. Okay, the accents enough.
I gotta tell you, the accents really get our little
American hearts. They knock them out.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Best is your is your husband Scottish shoe or English
or something?
Speaker 2 (43:57):
No, mine's just super Southern. Oh yeah, Southern accents. How
I get myself in this position?
Speaker 1 (44:02):
So, oh my god. Yeah, maybe that's what I need.
I just needed an accent. My ACX was from Boston
and that accents, that's not it.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Speaking of birth control, that'll do it for me. And
I hate to be offensive. That's a birth control for me.
All right, girl, Well, we will chat with you soon.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Okay, thanks so much guys.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Ye what a fun a. I love Wildcard Aurora. She's fun.
I just like how like, I don't know, there's just
something really free. But it's not a challenge. I was
gonna say free. Yeah, it's not like you know how sometimes
people that are free I'm putting in air quotes like
that free speech are like a like liveing a fence.
(44:44):
She doesn't. She's just like, yeah here I am. Yeah, yeah,
once a year would never work for me. I just
want to be really clear. I would never Oh yeah's
a bigger woman than I am. I again, I this
is my have to stay politically correct and things. I
gave mine seven but not because I said so. No.
(45:09):
But if it works for you, that's great. I just
know for me that ain't gonna fly. No. Same And
I'm a little territorial Cramer, I mean you and I
both Yeah, I'm but no, that's mine. Yeah, I set
like it gets a little like that geo like animal kingdom.
For me, I just well and I have and again
(45:31):
I believe in the you know, the respect and the
love and that it will be hard. But that doesn't
mean to go sleep with someone else, no, and personally
for me in my relationships. And that's what I think
is so cool though it is about these conversations is
like it is. I felt like for a long long
time everyone was quiet. It was like the minute someone
(45:54):
made a mistake in a marriage, no one was working
on it. Like my Dallas mom Pam was the first
person to sit down with me and be like, Okay,
she was on her third husband when she was open
about loved it, and she was like, listen, it's not
always incredible. You really have to work well. And that's
the thing too, Like we've both been a cheater in
past relationships, and it's like I don't want that for that,
(46:15):
Like that's not who I wasn't wanting to be or
intending to be or any of those things, you know.
So like, and I think some people just don't work
well together too. Yes, I just talked to someone the
other day who's going through divorce and she was like,
I mean he's a good person, and I'm like, yeah,
it's okay that you don't mesh together either, right, Like,
no matter the work. Wow, Craamer, we really went all
(46:39):
over today. How's the contractions? I mean, I had a
strong one. While I was talking to her, I hope
it's today. I feel ready. It's funny to feel ready
because I've been so like hopeless romantic because I know
this is my last time. That's the emotional part. Yeah,
like I here we go. Oh, I know, nobod, it's good.
(47:02):
Why you crying because that's what I do. No, it's
just hot when it's your last. Like, I didn't think
i'd even get to do this again. So I've just hear. Yeah.
I mean I acted like legend was our last anyways,
and I soaked it up, and you know me, I'm
just such a feeling creature anyways. But yeah, I'm like
(47:23):
really ready to know who this person is. And then
I just also am like, oh, like every kick, I'm
like taking videos. It's like I can't bottle it up
fast enough. It's a lot. When more week, maybe less,
maybe another hour? Well, my last baby, why don't you
send us off? Oh creamer, goodbye house, Goodbye pregnant belly.
(47:45):
Next time we are on Windown, we'll be out of
a different location and down one lass heartbeat on the couch.
I love you, I love you too. This is a
good end of the chapter. Front I'm proud of you.
Proud of you baby. Let's pack a box and have
a baby. Okay, yours not mine. Mine's too soon. Go
bye and bye. Mhm
Host
Jana Kramer
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