February 24, 2025 • 56 mins
Ashlyn talks to international fitness evangelist and motivational coach Angela Manuel-Davis. Angela is about to release an album of her motivational speeches set to beats, but until then she tells Ashlyn about the moments in her life that taught her how powerful she really is. Angela talks about what she learned from her father who was a professional athlete and coach, how she erased the shame of getting divorced at an early age, and how she persevered through postpartum depression. She recounts the labor of love that was coaching students at SoulCycle, where Kerry Washington, Davis Beckham, and Beyoncé were among her devotees. And most importantly, Angela and Ashlyn discuss how to take care of yourself while being dedicated to serving others.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Wide Open. I
am so excited to be here with the one and
only Angela Davis. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You love grateful, you look fabulous as always. What's going
on updated, Dad.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I'm just life is lifing, and I woke up grateful.
I woke up excited to share space with you, you know.
I woke up and you know, getting the kiddo off
to school, you know, and another one that I just
got off the phone with, who's in Philly playing soccer. Yeh,
(00:50):
as we're here in Los Angeles. So that's an adjustment,
you know. But life is lifing, and I feel like
I feel like I'm grateful.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I love that. Yeah, and we all should be. Yeah.
I just want to be grateful and I appreciate that.
I appreciate you showing up and coming today and giving
us that kind of energy every time you walk through
the door. It's just like you're light. You're an absolute light.
Thank you, your character, your integrity. So for the people
who don't know you, yeah, introduce yourself to the viewers listeners.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, I am Angela Emanuel Davis. I am a former
professional athlete turned coach, motivational speaker, fitness evangelists. I just
finished my first book. I just finished my first album.
I created a mantra album, which I'm like super stoked about.
(01:47):
I put my motivation over beats and it's sick and
I'm proud of it.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
And I'm proud of you. I tell you what, the
way you serve other people, thank you. You know. I
tell you this. You know, I was just talking to
you about this. It is really a gift. I appreciate
it and the courage to share that gift and be
so vulnerable and all encompassing of what you've lived in
(02:17):
all of your seasons to share it. I think you
have had such a beautiful journey of life, not all good,
not all bad, but you have weathered so many season
seasons and you're so wise because you learn from every moment.
(02:38):
So take me back to your origin story, take me
back to your father, Jerry, your siblings. I mean, you're
also creative, you're also inspiring. You all have such a
beautiful gift. And it's not just in the things you do,
(02:58):
it's how you show up you And I.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Want to know that. I think that came from my parents.
You know, like my mom and dad, our high school sweethearts,
still married to this day. You know, like started dating
when my mom was fifteen, and I'm the oldest of four.
It's myself and then my brother Jerry Lorenzo, my brother
Anthony Manuel, and my sister Natalie manual Lye and my
(03:27):
parents just taught us to take whatever it is that
we were given and give it back to the world.
Like that was the cycle. It was. It was cyclical.
It was like, what are the gifts and talents God
has given you? Now you give those back to the world.
That was the standard that we were going to serve humanity,
that we were going to contribute to this world, that
(03:49):
we weren't just going to be takers, that we were
going to be givers, that we were going to show
up and figure out how to push humanity forward and
make the world better. What better fulfillment when you when
you're doing the thing that you know you're supposed to
be doing, it just hits different.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
And not all people see the world that way.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Nope. But and I get that, and I get that,
and I and I you know, sometimes I feel like
there's a naivity and a foolishness to see the world
that way, But I just I can't imagine living any
other way.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
What got you there?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Like?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
What was this type of character and integrity you carry
with you in every room and every class and every
big moment, but most importantly in every small moment. Because
you know your people may not know this about your dad,
but your dad Jerry was a fantastic baseball player in
(04:52):
Major League Baseball and then became a really fantastic manager coach.
Was he dad to you always? Or was he coach?
Did he go back and forth? Like, I know so
much of who you are came from your upbringing, your family. Yeah,
but I'm curious being raised by a coach and an
(05:13):
athlete is so successful.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I mean he was drafted out of high school
to play professional baseball. He had over two hundred and
twenty scholarship offers to play baseball, football, basketball. His best
sport was football. He was going to go to UCLA,
but he decided when he was drafted by the Detroit
Tigers to go with baseball because his family needed the money.
(05:40):
So he chose baseball, which wasn't even his favorite or
his best sport, and he was a mediocre player. He
was good enough to be drafted out of high school.
He made it to the big leagues, but spent most
of his playing career in the minor leagues. Then went
(06:01):
to the front office, scouting and different front office positions,
and then found himself really craving to be back on
the field. And I think he like back in the day,
they don't do this anymore. But he was like a
player coach, and then he just started coaching and working
(06:22):
his way up from coaching to managing to you know,
eventually like manager of the Year. Like he was just
like an epic manager, coach, teacher, And for him, it
was always what he found was so important was he
(06:47):
knew he had this opportunity with these men, and he
knew that these men were tremendous athletes. But he knew
that the bigger calling and the bigger tasks for him
was to get the man, the father, the son, the brother,
(07:07):
the partner, to be just as great as the athlete. O, honey,
you see what I'm saying. Oh, you see what I'm saying.
And he knew that that was the call. He understood that,
and because he understood that as a coach, that's who
he was as a father. So it wasn't always about
(07:31):
we were all extremely talented, you know, but it wasn't.
The emphasis wasn't on that, whereas you would have thought
it would have been on that because of who he
was as an athlete, a star athlete, and then a
professional athlete and coach. But it was who are you
(07:52):
as a person? Where is your integrity and your character?
You know, where is that in comparison to Yeah, you know,
my junior year in high school, I have fifty one goals.
My junior in high school, you know, I was you know,
running track out, running people in the one hundred meters, blowing
bubbles like chewing gum, blowing bubbles like and he was like,
(08:16):
uh amboo, Like, where where is the character? Like, yeah,
I'm proud of that athleticism, but I also know that
that comes easy for you. I didn't have to work
hard in high school. I was just good. I was
just talented. I didn't really start to work hard until
I got to college and I realized, oh my god,
(08:36):
everyone's good. But like, those were the things that he
was developing in us as children, Like what are you
going to do with that? Is that for your is
that for your glory? Is that for your you know, notoriety,
What is that for? What do you want to do
with that? And it was those questions and in like
(09:02):
grade school, middle school, high school that challenged us as
children to just want to be good humans, not just
great in what we do, but like great as people,
great as humans, you know, like you can be a
(09:25):
great athlete and a bad person. Oh god, yeah, what
is that?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah? And I think that's what makes you such a
good coach as well. When I came onto the scene,
I struggled a lot mentally, and I think, what you know, watching, listening, hearing,
because I've been following you for a long time. It's
(09:52):
your ability to understand your physical health and journey is important,
but your mental wellness and health is just as important.
And I think as athletes we get it twisted. We
spend so much time physically on preparing our bodies for
(10:13):
battle and whatever sport we do, and we neglect so
much from the neck up. And just like you said,
it doesn't I don't care how good you are if
you're a fucking mess of a human and you're just
taking and stealing people's light and moving through the world
in the spaces with this type of entitlement that you
(10:34):
just don't care. You don't care the effect you leave
on people. And this is probably why some of the
biggest names in anything wants to be a part of
what you do. Right. You know, you think about all
the people you've trained over the years, of the jay Zs,
to the Beyonces, to the beck Gums, to Carry Washington,
(10:58):
Kelly Rowland, how the list probably goes on and on
and on. But I love how you push people to
not better themselves self just physically, but mentally and spiritually
and finding I think in a world that is so
dark and hard, especially right now, people are questioning what
(11:22):
is my purpose? And sometimes it takes people like you
to say walk with me. I'm going to hold your
hand through this, and I'm going to open up your
potential and put my ego to the side. There's so
much beauty in that, But I know it took a
(11:43):
lot of pain for you to get to that place
and why you chose after a beautiful career in sports
and playing for the US track and field team and
all of you have so many creative part of you,
you were like, I'm going to do this. I'm going
(12:04):
to do this out of pain, And I always ask
this question on the podcast, what was that one moment
that split you wide open that changed it all?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Dang, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah, and we all have that movie.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
When I was in college, I went to I went
to a Christian university. I grew up in a faith
based home, and my parents really wanted me to go
to a Christian university. And all Robert University was a
Division one school, and I got a scholarship to run track,
(12:46):
and so I end up at this really conservative Christian school.
And that Christian school taught me to be an activist.
(13:06):
It taught me how to fight for my rights and
what I believed in because all of a sudden saw
so much that I felt like was wrong. And part
of being at a Christian university was signing an honor code,
(13:28):
and in this honor code you couldn't have premarital sex.
And I was like really ashamed of like breaking the
honor code in that way, Like I was really ashamed,
Like you were made to feel like a sinner and
(13:50):
like a really bad person. And so I end up
marrying some dude in college because I don't want to
have premarital sex, so out of shame. Yep, I get
married to someone who just should have been my boyfriend.
(14:10):
He just should have been my boyfriend. It was just
a stupid, young ridiculous It was so ridiculous. It was
so ridiculous. Yes, but it and it lasted like as
long as the little relationship should last. But we got
a divorce, and that crushed me. I was devastated. I
(14:38):
was a failure. I was a sinner. I was I mean,
first of all, I was twenty one. I was a baby,
like what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Cultural influence?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
What am I doing? And it split me open. The
divorce split me open. The failure split me open. The
shame split me open, and it split me open, and
then it made me hide it because then I soon
(15:11):
realized how ridiculous it was. So then I was embarrassed
that that was even my situation. Like first I was
embarrassed that I got a divorce, but then I was
embarrassed that I even got married under those circumstances, and
like that I was even like brainwashed. So then I
held that. Then I held that shame, and I was
(15:35):
just bleeding. I was just bleeding. And then I had
to kind of hide to heal and not like and
people didn't even know fully what I was having to
heal from. But that young marriage and all of the surroundings,
the implications, and like, all of what that represented in
(15:57):
my life split me open.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I'm interested to ask you this question, and I haven't
been able to ask you this, yeah, knowing how hard
that was for you to sit in and walk through.
You know, I recently got a divorce. I felt like
I always could feel you and hear you through my
social media. You would just send little reminders of are
(16:26):
you okay, You're going to be okay? How are you
thinking about you? Did you make space for me? Because
you knew I was going through the same thing, and
you know the shame and depression one goes through.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I knew exactly, and I didn't want to assume, like
super tight girlfriend that can hold that kind of space
for you. I didn't want to assume that right. But
I needed you to know I saw you. I need
you to know you were seen. I needed you to
(17:03):
know you weren't alone, and I needed you to know
that you were going to get through that. And I
could only just insert where I felt I had the
right to. But I knew, I knew what that felt
like like we can't ever say we know exactly what
someone else's situation feels like. But I knew to a
(17:26):
certain extent what that felt like. And I was married.
My first marriage was to professional athlete. He was like,
played poral baseball. My dad's like I was mortified. I
was mortified. I felt like everyone knew. And then I
had this glorious example of marriage and my parents and
(17:49):
I just felt like I'm a joke. Yeah, I'm a loser.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And even when people have an opinion on your experience,
no one is hard on yourself than you. I remember,
and I am so grateful that you chose to do
those things. And a time where I was like I
was in the trenches, like I waking up. I just
(18:15):
remember when you talk about being hopeful. I remember just
waking up being like that's enough today. And then I
did feel like a lot of people shut doors on me,
but you didn't, and you didn't have to. It wasn't
like we had this crazy relationship friendship we never even
(18:38):
had met in person, but your gift and your light,
and this is what I just I feel so deeply connected.
You have no idea when someone is walking through the
most difficult, darkest time of their life. What a small
(18:58):
gesture of kindness, Yeah, to say, I see you, I'm
making space for your feelings and you're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay. And thank you absolutely because it
was such a hard time and you lived it. But
(19:20):
the beauty of being able to not run from it,
to learn from it, to be hopeful and to lead
this life of saying I just have to put one
foot in front of the other, like I'm not gonna
always get it right, but I'm going to learn from it.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Well, it's that choice piece, right, It's that choice piece
that you just said, And it's like, I'm going to
choose to let this grow me and stretch me and
make me better. I'm going to choose to put a
different perspective on this. I'm not a victim. I'm victorious.
(20:04):
Say it again, I'm not a victim. I'm victorious and
I'm gonna make that choice. And it didn't happen to me,
but it happened for me. I'm gonna get out of
it what I need to get out of it, because
there's something in that that are ingredients that I need
(20:25):
to prepare me for where I'm going period, like, I
can't be who I need to be without this experience. Therefore,
I can put a skew of good, I could put
a skew of hope on that.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
What tells me everything I already know about you is
in a time of healing, you chose to not only
heal yourself but serve other people.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah. I had to had to like, that's the easiest
way out of your own way is to not make
it about you, you know. For me, it was like,
all right, I'm gonna I'm going to start substitute teaching
whilst I'm going through this divorce. I was living on
(21:19):
the South I was living on the North side of Chicago,
and at that time, my dad was managing the Chicago
White Sox and there was a school on the South
Side of Chicago, and you had to walk through metal
detectors every day, which was not normal for me. That
wasn't how I how I grew up. But I was like,
(21:43):
I'm a substitute teacher at this school with these students,
and I'm going to get in the pocket with them,
you know what I mean. So all of a sudden,
kids are coming to school that experience that just experienced
tragedy that I couldn't even fully wrap my head around.
(22:04):
Kids coming to school, hungry, and like all of a sudden,
your perspective is shifted, and this moment that you're going through,
it just is put in a different perspective. It's put
in a different perspective. It doesn't negate the hurt and
the heartache. But for me, that's the quickest root to
(22:30):
healing is to start to pour on and love on
other people in the act of service. It just takes
you there.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.
Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. What I know
about you, twofolds, how you do anything is how you
do everything. Oh the way you show up and every
moment as a wife, sister, mother, business woman. How you
(23:14):
do anything is how you do everything. And I feel
like your servants towels always make sure it's always bigger
than your ego. You have no fucking ego and you
have every right to And your gift is this the
beauty of being able to make space for other people
(23:37):
based on all of these lives that you've lived and
all this pain you've gone through. Because life is so oh,
I mean, it.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Just it just keeps acting. It just keeps acting, keeps
acting up, it keeps cutting up. It's gonna keep cutting up.
It's gonna keep cutting up. I tell you that right now.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It's it's always it's always like I'm always like, ohh,
I'm like, I'm like in a boxing match with life
right now.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
But you go through this situation with depression and you
choose to while you're healing yourself, serve other people, and
you just your career takes off completely. I mean, no
one cared about soul cycle until you.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I'm serious.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It was like everything you were building for yourself and
the way you were healing, and you were in this
healing journey, you find what I assume is the man
of your dreams because I saw you two together not
too long ago. And the first thing, yeah, the first
(24:54):
you came back over and you were like, I had
to introduce you to my man's and there's it was
like seeping out of your pores. This just joy and
happiness and tenderness. And then when he opened his mouth
and how genuine and safe and he's.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Just he's so good, like I'm not good, like he
comes no, he is so good. It's nauseating. It's nauseating.
I am the hot mess, like super extra wife. Like
he is so dope and like chill and like good
and pure and like like he's so.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Well, he's handsome. Oh he is handsy, but he's just
so genuine and you feel it immediately, you know. So
tell me about when he came into your world and
your life and how it changed so much, because clearly
(25:57):
even you sitting here now, like you're just so happy
in so many years and two beautiful boys.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
We'll be married twenty years, twenty years in your school,
were just a couple months away from our twentieth anniversary.
It's not nud I love it so dope, But how
did it happen?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
You know, you're going through such a tough time and
then this is what you're talking about, ye, this moment
of just waiting and putting your hands up, being like
something has to be out there for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
It My mom said this. My mom said something to
me one day. She was like, she's like, you need
to find someone that loves God more than they love you.
Let me explain that to you what that meant for her?
(26:50):
And I got it when I met Jerome was that
someone that puts their morals and standards and values and
like he's all of that matters to him. He was
(27:11):
gonna take care of me and treat me with honor
and respect because of the depth of his values and
his morals. And that had to do with his spiritual conviction.
Not me, not because I'm dope, not because I'm fly,
(27:33):
not because he think I'm cute, Nope. His moral convictions
is what has him as the husband that he is
to me, and vice versa. It's my moral convictions that
have me in the role of the wife that I
(27:56):
need to be to him. And that was also what
helped me like go through my divorce and like through
like situations where people are super shitty to me, is
that I'm able to say, I have to go to
a place where I'm like, this is also a child
of God. This is also a child of God that's broken,
(28:18):
that's hurting, that is lost and doesn't have their way
and is hurting me because they're hurting and they don't
know another way to show up. They don't know another
way to show up. They maybe they don't know another
way to show up, or maybe they don't have the
(28:42):
discipline to choose a different way to show up, and
I'm going to choose to give them grace. Now I'm
an learn from it. Shame on me if you know,
I'm gonna believe you. But I'll believe you, but I'll
have to choose to forgive you because I'm not going
(29:04):
to allow you to live rent free in my mind
and torment me. I'm not going to keep playing it
over and over what you did to me and like
I'm so a victim. No, I got stuff to do,
in places to go.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Oh, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
So that's a choice and part of me being able
to because I can hold a grudge, right, and that's
something that I constantly like working on, is like that
letting go and not like holding that like weight that'll
just like weigh me down and like blur my vision
and block you know, perspective that I should have. Is
(29:45):
just like letting go of that of those things that
don't serve me and those people that don't serve me.
Learn from it and keep it moving.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
What I'm curious about is you're in this, you know,
beautiful season in your life careers. Incredible. You're actually changing
the landscape of fitness. How I would like to say,
you really changed the landscape of fitness. You know, you're
(30:16):
you're married, and you have your first child, and you
have you have been open about the postpartum depression took
you out, took me out. So as someone who has
lived their life leading in this way that you have
(30:38):
and had gone through the mental health struggle you did
after that divorce, how did this one feel different?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's gnarly. It's gnarly. It's like, I mean, that bad
boy was on me so tough, Like I couldn't get
up off the couch, like I was like I couldn't function,
(31:14):
you know, and my you know, I was breastfeeding, so
that made it like, you know, his food was easy,
his food was easy, but like I couldn't function. I
could function enough to feed him, yeah, but I couldn't function.
(31:36):
It was gnarly. And I just am grateful, by the
grace of God that I was able to keep breathing
long enough to keep living. What kept you going in
the postpartum? What kept me going? I had already been
(32:03):
through hard and I knew I could get through. I
didn't know how I didn't have the answers. I didn't
know what that looked like. But I held on to
the fact there was still a glimmer of hope that
(32:27):
it won't take me out, it won't kill me, it
won't take my last breath. It might take me down
to it, but it ain't gonna take my last breath.
I think that was faith. I think that was like
(32:47):
knowing I had been through hard before and I want
no punk.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I had to remember her, that little girl that I
was so embarrassed about. I had to remember her. Oh, Shane,
no pump, Shane, no pump.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
So would you consider the way you show up now?
As you know coach mom wife, I assume these experiences.
Let's start with you know, the coach side of you.
(33:29):
I understand why people said your classes were it was
like church on wheels. Yeah, you just was this just
a calling for you to move this way in this
space or like, what what was it that you said, Oh,
I'm going to do this differently, and the way in
(33:51):
which I'm going to do this is to create community.
I don't say this lightly when I say you really
change the landscape of what working out looked like. But
how how did you decide to do that? Was this
always just who this this was Angela, this is who
(34:12):
I am, and this is how I show up. And
you either, like you said, rock with it or you don't.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
There was a decision.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
There was a decision. Tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
There is a decision. Well to your point in the
audience here and then the audience that I you know,
if I'm standing in front of a room and I'm
coaching a big class, we don't know what anyone's going through.
We don't know. So I'm first of all, im not
going to act like I'm smart enough or cool enough
(34:41):
to know that. So it's a just being like humble
enough to be like I don't know. And for me,
it was about then being brave enough to rely on
something bigger than me, like I just can't make it
without that, like I need like we didn't have to
(35:04):
wake up today. We didn't have to, but we were
on the wake up list. We got to see another day.
That's a blessing. That's someone saying you're not done yet.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Such a gift.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's someone saying you're not done yet. So I need
to tap in with the one that woke me up
today tappen like what do we got going on here? Like,
just use me. I don't know what anyone needs to hear,
but I'm just going to show up and surrender to
the moment and be used. And that was the same
(35:38):
posture that I had going into those coaching moments. I
don't know what anyone needs. I actually don't want to
be privy to too much because there's a gang other
people in the room. So let me just surrender to
the moment and trust that you'll get what you need.
You don't have to give me a personal story. Just
(36:00):
let me surrender to this moment and trust that you'll
get fed, You'll get what you need. And then I
think another part was when I made the decision was
when I invited my dad one day to come, who
was like Manager of the Year in two thousand, like
(36:21):
just this brilliant genius coach, like so smart, so brilliant,
again understanding that what was important to him was that
the man was as great as the athlete. I knew
I had that same opportunity. I knew that every individual
that was in my room, if I could coach them
(36:45):
to be great on that bike, the way that I
would use that was to coach them to be great
period in every other area, because, like you said earlier,
the way you do one thing is the way you
do all things. So if we can buy into that,
I could intensely coach you to be super great on
(37:08):
this bike or in this particular medium or whatever it is.
At the same time, I'm cracking you open physically, and
you're like, oh my god, what's happening? Am I pouring
in the coaching, the motivation, the encouragement, the inspiration, and
you're able to receive it. It's able to seep in,
(37:29):
it's able to like find its home, And when it's
all said and done, you don't even realize what just happened,
you know, But there was a moment where you were
wide open, yes, and like the goodness was poured in,
the love was poured in, the encouragement was poured in,
(37:50):
and all of a sudden you were wide open and
able to heal and be rewired and you didn't even
realize it. And a lot of times when we were
in those coach I was in those coaching situations, I
would like sometimes I would look out and like see individuals,
(38:12):
but mostly like everybody was like one and I would
and I would. I would see us as a collective.
I would see us as a community. I would see
us as like we're going to rise up as a team.
It was like open heart surgery, and I knew people
were healing. I knew they were healing. I knew that
(38:32):
people were coming and broken and walking out hole. Like
I knew it and I felt it and I saw it.
I was just the spaceholder, you know what I mean,
Like I was just like I was just the one
that had to surrender and like allow what needed to
(38:53):
take place to take place. Yes, and that's all like,
and I couldn't look at myself as anything more than what.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
A beautiful game that you have.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
And I will say this, it also can be a
curse at times. I think that's the part people don't realize.
And I want to talk about that because I have
so much to learn from you and I'm so grateful
for our time together and I just I get it
in a way where and I say this all the
(39:24):
time to my partner Sophia, because we go to a
lot of events between her entertainment piece and my sports.
I mean it's constant. And she goes into a room,
and she is just it ignites something in her to
have that human connection. She leaves those moments feeling so
(39:47):
inspired and just thinking, God, that was just like she's
on a high.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
I have the ability in a very small way that
I imagine you do, to see see people and meet
them where they're at, to create space, to create a
moment of pure connection, to make them feel safe in
a way where conversations like this go deep. And I
(40:19):
leave these spaces feeling so tired, and I truthfully there's
times where I have to just lock myself in the
room for a few hours or not taught like it
takes so much out of me that I have to
hibernate in a way to recharge my batteries to be
(40:40):
able to serve and show up and do it all
over again. How do you protect yourself? Do you feel that?
Is that very.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I'm exactly the same way. And what I was taught
was that when you're and this may or may not
be the case for you, uh and Sofia, but it
is definitely the case for my husband and I is
that I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert. So Jerome
(41:11):
and I have a thing where he knows I'll go
and I'll go hard in the paint like I'm out,
I'm doo doo, I'm doing all the things do do,
giving life, given light lessons. And then as soon as
I have said all, I can say, I'm done, and
(41:33):
I'm done for a minute like I'm done, like it
took me out yep. And then I have to go
and I have to refuel for a while, maybe some days.
And so what was hard about teaching as much as
I was teaching was that I was going in the
room and in those coaching moments, I was given all
I had. I was pulling from like all of it,
(41:57):
just like here it is, here is everything and in
the height. You know. There were times where I was
doing that like five times a day, and I would
go home at the end of the day and feel
like I had the flu. Every Tuesday and Thursday when
I taught five, I felt like I had the flu.
And what was happening was the people who were my
(42:17):
number one, my children and my husband were getting the
least of me, and I was giving perfect strangers like
my best.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
They got my best. This is me, yes, I feel
this in my bone.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
And then my kids and my husband got what was
left over, and I had to learn how.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
To give.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
To my number ones and create a schedule that allowed
me to be the best coach possible but also be
the best mom and wife possible. And that took me
down to, oh, maybe I can only do this once
a day, maybe I can only do this every other day,
(43:13):
which wasn't good for the company, but it was what
I needed to be my best for my number ones.
And you so you learn that. And so now Jerome
and I have a great understanding. We'll go out to
an event and like he can kiki all night with
randoms and have just small talk and just love it.
(43:36):
And I start off tough. I start off tough, and
then when it's done, it's done, and we know, we know,
and he's like he has my back.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
I love that, and it's it's like that's why I'm
laughing because people think I'm so, oh, yeah, you're out here.
You can get a conversation with anyone, this extrovert. And
I'm like, I'm like, you don't wear ye.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
I'm gonna sit here and do it because I do
love you. I do love you. But it's it's it
pulls from a different, Like some people get energy from
people and some people have to get their energy to
be with people. And it's all love. It's all love.
I just energetically, I feel depleted at the end of
(44:25):
Sam and I have those interactions.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
I agree, And I think that's the hardest part about
showing up in the spaces and ways we actually do.
And that's why I say it's a beautiful gift, but
it also can be a curse. Where's you're out, Oh gosh,
stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after
this brief message from our sponsors. So talk to me
(44:53):
about your your boys two. They are so handsome there,
so smart, They're so dope. They are so smart, so successful.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
So successful. I'm just proud to be their mom. I
was like, how did this happen? Like sometimes I just
look at them and be like, and I'll just tell
him I can't believe I get to be your mom.
I can't believe I get to be your mom.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
They're just dope, They're dope. It is the greatest title,
isn't it It? Being mom is probably and we've won
some things in our day. It is the greatest title
of my life.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
Right. Also, the hardest, literally, because they can be brats too.
Like my eighteen year old, I'm just like, you know what,
Like he's at that age where he's still so dependent
on us, but like swears he knows everything, and so
(45:56):
you almost every day just want to like like headlock him,
like no, you don't, no, you don't know. But he's
also so freaking great and like integral and like honest,
(46:16):
and he's a good human.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
You know, it must be hard for you that he's
in Philly. So if most people don't know he is
exceptional at soccer, Yeah, playing in the Philadelphia Union.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
System, I mean he is.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
He's stealing the show.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
He's freaking dough. He's like he had fourteen goals this season,
he led the team. He Yeah. So now we're at
a little crossroad where he's trying to figure out like
what to do and where to go. He wants to
go overseas and play. He wants more development and you know,
(47:02):
more tools in his toolbox as far as like that's concerned,
and so we're trying to figure it out. He's still
like doesn't do his own laundry that great, Like doesn't
like feed himself that great. So then there's all that stuff.
He finally got his driver's license at eighteen. Oh my gosh,
and he got pulled over for the first time yesterday.
(47:24):
It was terrifying. Yes, of course I was terrifying. It
was so crazy. It was actually two days ago. He
got pulled over for the first time, and I was like,
I freaked out. And I was just like, I was
talking to my friend Tony because I remember during COVID
my friend Tony got pulled over and he had like
(47:46):
a real crazy reaction to it and like freaked out.
And it was not long after all the George Floyd stuff,
and so I was like, Tony, you need to talk
to him. He needs to obey the laws of the land.
And I'm like, do and all this like high ground parenting.
And my friend Tony said to me, which was so profound,
(48:07):
he said, Angela like, and so he can obey the
laws of the land. I was like, over, as a
black man, you need okay. So I'm obsessed with my kids.
I love my kids. I have tremendous, well behaved, phenomenal
(48:32):
athlete children. But as a mom of two black boys,
I have different concerns. Yes, you know, I'm ting I
you know, I know what you're talking about, and I
come from privilege, white privilege, and it is scary to
(48:55):
raise a black child in this landscape, and this black
child that will never know your privilege like you will
give them your privilege in the sense of economically, but
(49:16):
they will never the world will never ever look at them,
look at your child in the same lens that they
look at you ever ever. And I understood that after
Trayvon Martin when we were at a friend's house, one
(49:40):
of my white friends, and I was actually one of
the only black people there now that I think about it,
me and Jerome and my kids, but their kids were there.
It was a pool party and it was starting the
sun was starting to go down, and my son went
and put on his little school hoodie at that time,
(50:01):
he was in elementary school and he had the hood on.
And I'll never forget. We're all sitting out in the
backyard at this time, like maybe just eating or something,
all at the tables, and my son comes from around
the corner. Now, the last time I saw me out
on his swim trunks. Now he comes around the corner
(50:23):
and he has on his hoodie with his hood on,
and my heart sank and I realized at that moment
people may not ever know how wonderful and kind and sweet.
They will just look at this like Trayvon, this young
(50:49):
black boy with his hood on and his skittles, and
like just.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
That.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
I immediately had this check and I was like, Oh,
it's different. Oh this is different. Yep, Oh this is different,
and it is.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Unfortunately because of what has happened and who has been elected.
I'm terrified for our children. Yeah, and I don't sleep.
It's hard enough to eat.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
It's horrific.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
It is so scary, and it's so out of our
control in a lot of ways. And as a mom
raising black children, especially black men, I can only, like
you said, give them the tools. It's not about getting
(51:49):
pulled over. It's about getting home. It's about how do
you get home safe with the tools you've been given
and the knowledge and how we've raised you. It's still
sometimes out of their control, scary and scary.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
It's scary.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
And I say this all the time because there is
so much of my life right now that I'm scared.
I'm fearful not only being a gay woman for my community,
but raising two black children who I've adopted through Florida.
I just don't know what is to come. And it
(52:28):
is a weird feeling now at thirty nine, living in
so much fear in twenty twenty four, But it fuels
me to fight. It fuels me to fight. It fuels
me to be a connector to reach out to say
we're not that different. You and I are not that different,
(52:51):
and to serve this country in ways that we choose
to do so we can connect people on a level
that isn't based on what we look like, and that
is our gift.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
And you know what I'm gonna tell you, And you
know I'm gonna tell you as a mom. I'm telling
you as a mom, We're going to have different fears
and concerns. There's gonna be things that keep us up
at night, all of that.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Like I.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
Apologize Mom and Dad for what I put you through.
However we can have that. We have to protect them
from living in fear.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
They need to be free. Yes, they need to live,
They need to live. I appreciate you coming on, sharing
your wisdom, sharing your scars. Thank you, sister, and thank
you for always choosing kindness, for choosing always tell my
(54:00):
daughter this kindness is currency. And you live it.
Speaker 2 (54:05):
That's right, and you do too. And I am proud
of you for showing up and holding this kind of
space for authentic conversations, for allowing us to build community,
for allowing us to share space and being each other's lives.
(54:26):
Like I'm proud of you than you as as I
understand what this requires for you to even sit here
and have these conversations. I understand what that requires for you,
and the fact that you're willing to pay that price.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
Wow, Thank you. I appreciate you being on here. Thank
you for being so vulnerable, so honest, so wide open.
Tell everyone what your work. You're the most creative artistic
person I know, and you're constantly working on things. Let
everyone know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
But So, I have a mantra album right now. I
only have one song released. It's called I Can Do
My Life, and I think it's just a beautiful mantra
that I've created for everyone. You know, you can do
your life. There's not going to be one obstacle that
you'll face that you cannot overcome. You can do your life.
(55:26):
You are equipped to do your life. And so you
can download that song on Spotify, on Apple Music title
everywhere where music is. But there is a whole album
and there is a book coming, so just be on
the lookout and you can follow me on my Instagram,
Angela Manuel Davis. And that's it. And I love you
(55:48):
and you're amazing and keep crushing being you.
Speaker 1 (55:56):
You are perfect. Thank you, you nail it every time
I'd like, I'm grateful. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is
an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on
(56:16):
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones.
Production assistants from Malia Agudello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz,
Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan
(56:38):
and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, Ashlan Harris.
Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Wide Open. I
am so excited to be here with the one and
only Angela Davis. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You love grateful, you look fabulous as always. What's going
on updated, Dad.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I'm just life is lifing, and I woke up grateful.
I woke up excited to share space with you, you know.
I woke up and you know, getting the kiddo off
to school, you know, and another one that I just
got off the phone with, who's in Philly playing soccer. Yeh,
(00:50):
as we're here in Los Angeles. So that's an adjustment,
you know. But life is lifing, and I feel like
I feel like I'm grateful.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I love that. Yeah, and we all should be. Yeah.
I just want to be grateful and I appreciate that.
I appreciate you showing up and coming today and giving
us that kind of energy every time you walk through
the door. It's just like you're light. You're an absolute light.
Thank you, your character, your integrity. So for the people
who don't know you, yeah, introduce yourself to the viewers listeners.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, I am Angela Emanuel Davis. I am a former
professional athlete turned coach, motivational speaker, fitness evangelists. I just
finished my first book. I just finished my first album.
I created a mantra album, which I'm like super stoked about.
(01:47):
I put my motivation over beats and it's sick and
I'm proud of it.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
And I'm proud of you. I tell you what, the
way you serve other people, thank you. You know. I
tell you this. You know, I was just talking to
you about this. It is really a gift. I appreciate
it and the courage to share that gift and be
so vulnerable and all encompassing of what you've lived in
(02:17):
all of your seasons to share it. I think you
have had such a beautiful journey of life, not all good,
not all bad, but you have weathered so many season
seasons and you're so wise because you learn from every moment.
(02:38):
So take me back to your origin story, take me
back to your father, Jerry, your siblings. I mean, you're
also creative, you're also inspiring. You all have such a
beautiful gift. And it's not just in the things you do,
(02:58):
it's how you show up you And I.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Want to know that. I think that came from my parents.
You know, like my mom and dad, our high school sweethearts,
still married to this day. You know, like started dating
when my mom was fifteen, and I'm the oldest of four.
It's myself and then my brother Jerry Lorenzo, my brother
Anthony Manuel, and my sister Natalie manual Lye and my
(03:27):
parents just taught us to take whatever it is that
we were given and give it back to the world.
Like that was the cycle. It was. It was cyclical.
It was like, what are the gifts and talents God
has given you? Now you give those back to the world.
That was the standard that we were going to serve humanity,
that we were going to contribute to this world, that
(03:49):
we weren't just going to be takers, that we were
going to be givers, that we were going to show
up and figure out how to push humanity forward and
make the world better. What better fulfillment when you when
you're doing the thing that you know you're supposed to
be doing, it just hits different.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
And not all people see the world that way.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Nope. But and I get that, and I get that,
and I and I you know, sometimes I feel like
there's a naivity and a foolishness to see the world
that way, But I just I can't imagine living any
other way.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
What got you there?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Like?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
What was this type of character and integrity you carry
with you in every room and every class and every
big moment, but most importantly in every small moment. Because
you know your people may not know this about your dad,
but your dad Jerry was a fantastic baseball player in
(04:52):
Major League Baseball and then became a really fantastic manager coach.
Was he dad to you always? Or was he coach?
Did he go back and forth? Like, I know so
much of who you are came from your upbringing, your family. Yeah,
but I'm curious being raised by a coach and an
(05:13):
athlete is so successful.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I mean he was drafted out of high school
to play professional baseball. He had over two hundred and
twenty scholarship offers to play baseball, football, basketball. His best
sport was football. He was going to go to UCLA,
but he decided when he was drafted by the Detroit
Tigers to go with baseball because his family needed the money.
(05:40):
So he chose baseball, which wasn't even his favorite or
his best sport, and he was a mediocre player. He
was good enough to be drafted out of high school.
He made it to the big leagues, but spent most
of his playing career in the minor leagues. Then went
(06:01):
to the front office, scouting and different front office positions,
and then found himself really craving to be back on
the field. And I think he like back in the day,
they don't do this anymore. But he was like a
player coach, and then he just started coaching and working
(06:22):
his way up from coaching to managing to you know,
eventually like manager of the Year. Like he was just
like an epic manager, coach, teacher, And for him, it
was always what he found was so important was he
(06:47):
knew he had this opportunity with these men, and he
knew that these men were tremendous athletes. But he knew
that the bigger calling and the bigger tasks for him
was to get the man, the father, the son, the brother,
(07:07):
the partner, to be just as great as the athlete. O, honey,
you see what I'm saying. Oh, you see what I'm saying.
And he knew that that was the call. He understood that,
and because he understood that as a coach, that's who
he was as a father. So it wasn't always about
(07:31):
we were all extremely talented, you know, but it wasn't.
The emphasis wasn't on that, whereas you would have thought
it would have been on that because of who he
was as an athlete, a star athlete, and then a
professional athlete and coach. But it was who are you
(07:52):
as a person? Where is your integrity and your character?
You know, where is that in comparison to Yeah, you know,
my junior year in high school, I have fifty one goals.
My junior in high school, you know, I was you know,
running track out, running people in the one hundred meters, blowing
bubbles like chewing gum, blowing bubbles like and he was like,
(08:16):
uh amboo, Like, where where is the character? Like, yeah,
I'm proud of that athleticism, but I also know that
that comes easy for you. I didn't have to work
hard in high school. I was just good. I was
just talented. I didn't really start to work hard until
I got to college and I realized, oh my god,
(08:36):
everyone's good. But like, those were the things that he
was developing in us as children, Like what are you
going to do with that? Is that for your is
that for your glory? Is that for your you know, notoriety,
What is that for? What do you want to do
with that? And it was those questions and in like
(09:02):
grade school, middle school, high school that challenged us as
children to just want to be good humans, not just
great in what we do, but like great as people,
great as humans, you know, like you can be a
(09:25):
great athlete and a bad person. Oh god, yeah, what
is that?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah? And I think that's what makes you such a
good coach as well. When I came onto the scene,
I struggled a lot mentally, and I think, what you know, watching, listening, hearing,
because I've been following you for a long time. It's
(09:52):
your ability to understand your physical health and journey is important,
but your mental wellness and health is just as important.
And I think as athletes we get it twisted. We
spend so much time physically on preparing our bodies for
(10:13):
battle and whatever sport we do, and we neglect so
much from the neck up. And just like you said,
it doesn't I don't care how good you are if
you're a fucking mess of a human and you're just
taking and stealing people's light and moving through the world
in the spaces with this type of entitlement that you
(10:34):
just don't care. You don't care the effect you leave
on people. And this is probably why some of the
biggest names in anything wants to be a part of
what you do. Right. You know, you think about all
the people you've trained over the years, of the jay Zs,
to the Beyonces, to the beck Gums, to Carry Washington,
(10:58):
Kelly Rowland, how the list probably goes on and on
and on. But I love how you push people to
not better themselves self just physically, but mentally and spiritually
and finding I think in a world that is so
dark and hard, especially right now, people are questioning what
(11:22):
is my purpose? And sometimes it takes people like you
to say walk with me. I'm going to hold your
hand through this, and I'm going to open up your
potential and put my ego to the side. There's so
much beauty in that, But I know it took a
(11:43):
lot of pain for you to get to that place
and why you chose after a beautiful career in sports
and playing for the US track and field team and
all of you have so many creative part of you,
you were like, I'm going to do this. I'm going
(12:04):
to do this out of pain, And I always ask
this question on the podcast, what was that one moment
that split you wide open that changed it all?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Dang, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah, and we all have that movie.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
When I was in college, I went to I went
to a Christian university. I grew up in a faith
based home, and my parents really wanted me to go
to a Christian university. And all Robert University was a
Division one school, and I got a scholarship to run track,
(12:46):
and so I end up at this really conservative Christian school.
And that Christian school taught me to be an activist.
(13:06):
It taught me how to fight for my rights and
what I believed in because all of a sudden saw
so much that I felt like was wrong. And part
of being at a Christian university was signing an honor code,
(13:28):
and in this honor code you couldn't have premarital sex.
And I was like really ashamed of like breaking the
honor code in that way, Like I was really ashamed,
Like you were made to feel like a sinner and
(13:50):
like a really bad person. And so I end up
marrying some dude in college because I don't want to
have premarital sex, so out of shame. Yep, I get
married to someone who just should have been my boyfriend.
(14:10):
He just should have been my boyfriend. It was just
a stupid, young ridiculous It was so ridiculous. It was
so ridiculous. Yes, but it and it lasted like as
long as the little relationship should last. But we got
a divorce, and that crushed me. I was devastated. I
(14:38):
was a failure. I was a sinner. I was I mean,
first of all, I was twenty one. I was a baby,
like what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Cultural influence?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
What am I doing? And it split me open. The
divorce split me open. The failure split me open. The
shame split me open, and it split me open, and
then it made me hide it because then I soon
(15:11):
realized how ridiculous it was. So then I was embarrassed
that that was even my situation. Like first I was
embarrassed that I got a divorce, but then I was
embarrassed that I even got married under those circumstances, and
like that I was even like brainwashed. So then I
held that. Then I held that shame, and I was
(15:35):
just bleeding. I was just bleeding. And then I had
to kind of hide to heal and not like and
people didn't even know fully what I was having to
heal from. But that young marriage and all of the surroundings,
the implications, and like, all of what that represented in
(15:57):
my life split me open.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I'm interested to ask you this question, and I haven't
been able to ask you this, yeah, knowing how hard
that was for you to sit in and walk through.
You know, I recently got a divorce. I felt like
I always could feel you and hear you through my
social media. You would just send little reminders of are
(16:26):
you okay, You're going to be okay? How are you
thinking about you? Did you make space for me? Because
you knew I was going through the same thing, and
you know the shame and depression one goes through.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I knew exactly, and I didn't want to assume, like
super tight girlfriend that can hold that kind of space
for you. I didn't want to assume that right. But
I needed you to know I saw you. I need
you to know you were seen. I needed you to
(17:03):
know you weren't alone, and I needed you to know
that you were going to get through that. And I
could only just insert where I felt I had the
right to. But I knew, I knew what that felt
like like we can't ever say we know exactly what
someone else's situation feels like. But I knew to a
(17:26):
certain extent what that felt like. And I was married.
My first marriage was to professional athlete. He was like,
played poral baseball. My dad's like I was mortified. I
was mortified. I felt like everyone knew. And then I
had this glorious example of marriage and my parents and
(17:49):
I just felt like I'm a joke. Yeah, I'm a loser.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
And even when people have an opinion on your experience,
no one is hard on yourself than you. I remember,
and I am so grateful that you chose to do
those things. And a time where I was like I
was in the trenches, like I waking up. I just
(18:15):
remember when you talk about being hopeful. I remember just
waking up being like that's enough today. And then I
did feel like a lot of people shut doors on me,
but you didn't, and you didn't have to. It wasn't
like we had this crazy relationship friendship we never even
(18:38):
had met in person, but your gift and your light,
and this is what I just I feel so deeply connected.
You have no idea when someone is walking through the
most difficult, darkest time of their life. What a small
(18:58):
gesture of kindness, Yeah, to say, I see you, I'm
making space for your feelings and you're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay. And thank you absolutely because it
was such a hard time and you lived it. But
(19:20):
the beauty of being able to not run from it,
to learn from it, to be hopeful and to lead
this life of saying I just have to put one
foot in front of the other, like I'm not gonna
always get it right, but I'm going to learn from it.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Well, it's that choice piece, right, It's that choice piece
that you just said, And it's like, I'm going to
choose to let this grow me and stretch me and
make me better. I'm going to choose to put a
different perspective on this. I'm not a victim. I'm victorious.
(20:04):
Say it again, I'm not a victim. I'm victorious and
I'm gonna make that choice. And it didn't happen to me,
but it happened for me. I'm gonna get out of
it what I need to get out of it, because
there's something in that that are ingredients that I need
(20:25):
to prepare me for where I'm going period, like, I
can't be who I need to be without this experience. Therefore,
I can put a skew of good, I could put
a skew of hope on that.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
What tells me everything I already know about you is
in a time of healing, you chose to not only
heal yourself but serve other people.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah. I had to had to like, that's the easiest
way out of your own way is to not make
it about you, you know. For me, it was like,
all right, I'm gonna I'm going to start substitute teaching
whilst I'm going through this divorce. I was living on
(21:19):
the South I was living on the North side of Chicago,
and at that time, my dad was managing the Chicago
White Sox and there was a school on the South
Side of Chicago, and you had to walk through metal
detectors every day, which was not normal for me. That
wasn't how I how I grew up. But I was like,
(21:43):
I'm a substitute teacher at this school with these students,
and I'm going to get in the pocket with them,
you know what I mean. So all of a sudden,
kids are coming to school that experience that just experienced
tragedy that I couldn't even fully wrap my head around.
(22:04):
Kids coming to school, hungry, and like all of a sudden,
your perspective is shifted, and this moment that you're going through,
it just is put in a different perspective. It's put
in a different perspective. It doesn't negate the hurt and
the heartache. But for me, that's the quickest root to
(22:30):
healing is to start to pour on and love on
other people in the act of service. It just takes
you there.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.
Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. What I know
about you, twofolds, how you do anything is how you
do everything. Oh the way you show up and every
moment as a wife, sister, mother, business woman. How you
(23:14):
do anything is how you do everything. And I feel
like your servants towels always make sure it's always bigger
than your ego. You have no fucking ego and you
have every right to And your gift is this the
beauty of being able to make space for other people
(23:37):
based on all of these lives that you've lived and
all this pain you've gone through. Because life is so oh,
I mean, it.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Just it just keeps acting. It just keeps acting, keeps
acting up, it keeps cutting up. It's gonna keep cutting up.
It's gonna keep cutting up. I tell you that right now.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It's it's always it's always like I'm always like, ohh,
I'm like, I'm like in a boxing match with life
right now.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
But you go through this situation with depression and you
choose to while you're healing yourself, serve other people, and
you just your career takes off completely. I mean, no
one cared about soul cycle until you.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I'm serious.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It was like everything you were building for yourself and
the way you were healing, and you were in this
healing journey, you find what I assume is the man
of your dreams because I saw you two together not
too long ago. And the first thing, yeah, the first
(24:54):
you came back over and you were like, I had
to introduce you to my man's and there's it was
like seeping out of your pores. This just joy and
happiness and tenderness. And then when he opened his mouth
and how genuine and safe and he's.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Just he's so good, like I'm not good, like he
comes no, he is so good. It's nauseating. It's nauseating.
I am the hot mess, like super extra wife. Like
he is so dope and like chill and like good
and pure and like like he's so.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Well, he's handsome. Oh he is handsy, but he's just
so genuine and you feel it immediately, you know. So
tell me about when he came into your world and
your life and how it changed so much, because clearly
(25:57):
even you sitting here now, like you're just so happy
in so many years and two beautiful boys.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
We'll be married twenty years, twenty years in your school,
were just a couple months away from our twentieth anniversary.
It's not nud I love it so dope, But how
did it happen?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
You know, you're going through such a tough time and
then this is what you're talking about, ye, this moment
of just waiting and putting your hands up, being like
something has to be out there for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
It My mom said this. My mom said something to
me one day. She was like, she's like, you need
to find someone that loves God more than they love you.
Let me explain that to you what that meant for her?
(26:50):
And I got it when I met Jerome was that
someone that puts their morals and standards and values and
like he's all of that matters to him. He was
(27:11):
gonna take care of me and treat me with honor
and respect because of the depth of his values and
his morals. And that had to do with his spiritual conviction.
Not me, not because I'm dope, not because I'm fly,
(27:33):
not because he think I'm cute, Nope. His moral convictions
is what has him as the husband that he is
to me, and vice versa. It's my moral convictions that
have me in the role of the wife that I
(27:56):
need to be to him. And that was also what
helped me like go through my divorce and like through
like situations where people are super shitty to me, is
that I'm able to say, I have to go to
a place where I'm like, this is also a child
of God. This is also a child of God that's broken,
(28:18):
that's hurting, that is lost and doesn't have their way
and is hurting me because they're hurting and they don't
know another way to show up. They don't know another
way to show up. They maybe they don't know another
way to show up, or maybe they don't have the
(28:42):
discipline to choose a different way to show up, and
I'm going to choose to give them grace. Now I'm
an learn from it. Shame on me if you know,
I'm gonna believe you. But I'll believe you, but I'll
have to choose to forgive you because I'm not going
(29:04):
to allow you to live rent free in my mind
and torment me. I'm not going to keep playing it
over and over what you did to me and like
I'm so a victim. No, I got stuff to do,
in places to go.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Oh, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
So that's a choice and part of me being able
to because I can hold a grudge, right, and that's
something that I constantly like working on, is like that
letting go and not like holding that like weight that'll
just like weigh me down and like blur my vision
and block you know, perspective that I should have. Is
(29:45):
just like letting go of that of those things that
don't serve me and those people that don't serve me.
Learn from it and keep it moving.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
What I'm curious about is you're in this, you know,
beautiful season in your life careers. Incredible. You're actually changing
the landscape of fitness. How I would like to say,
you really changed the landscape of fitness. You know, you're
(30:16):
you're married, and you have your first child, and you
have you have been open about the postpartum depression took
you out, took me out. So as someone who has
lived their life leading in this way that you have
(30:38):
and had gone through the mental health struggle you did
after that divorce, how did this one feel different?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's gnarly. It's gnarly. It's like, I mean, that bad
boy was on me so tough, Like I couldn't get
up off the couch, like I was like I couldn't function,
(31:14):
you know, and my you know, I was breastfeeding, so
that made it like, you know, his food was easy,
his food was easy, but like I couldn't function. I
could function enough to feed him, yeah, but I couldn't function.
(31:36):
It was gnarly. And I just am grateful, by the
grace of God that I was able to keep breathing
long enough to keep living. What kept you going in
the postpartum? What kept me going? I had already been
(32:03):
through hard and I knew I could get through. I
didn't know how I didn't have the answers. I didn't
know what that looked like. But I held on to
the fact there was still a glimmer of hope that
(32:27):
it won't take me out, it won't kill me, it
won't take my last breath. It might take me down
to it, but it ain't gonna take my last breath.
I think that was faith. I think that was like
(32:47):
knowing I had been through hard before and I want
no punk.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I had to remember her, that little girl that I
was so embarrassed about. I had to remember her. Oh, Shane,
no pump, Shane, no pump.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
So would you consider the way you show up now?
As you know coach mom wife, I assume these experiences.
Let's start with you know, the coach side of you.
(33:29):
I understand why people said your classes were it was
like church on wheels. Yeah, you just was this just
a calling for you to move this way in this
space or like, what what was it that you said, Oh,
I'm going to do this differently, and the way in
(33:51):
which I'm going to do this is to create community.
I don't say this lightly when I say you really
change the landscape of what working out looked like. But
how how did you decide to do that? Was this
always just who this this was Angela, this is who
(34:12):
I am, and this is how I show up. And
you either, like you said, rock with it or you don't.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
There was a decision.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
There was a decision. Tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
There is a decision. Well to your point in the
audience here and then the audience that I you know,
if I'm standing in front of a room and I'm
coaching a big class, we don't know what anyone's going through.
We don't know. So I'm first of all, im not
going to act like I'm smart enough or cool enough
(34:41):
to know that. So it's a just being like humble
enough to be like I don't know. And for me,
it was about then being brave enough to rely on
something bigger than me, like I just can't make it
without that, like I need like we didn't have to
(35:04):
wake up today. We didn't have to, but we were
on the wake up list. We got to see another day.
That's a blessing. That's someone saying you're not done yet.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Such a gift.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's someone saying you're not done yet. So I need
to tap in with the one that woke me up
today tappen like what do we got going on here? Like,
just use me. I don't know what anyone needs to hear,
but I'm just going to show up and surrender to
the moment and be used. And that was the same
(35:38):
posture that I had going into those coaching moments. I
don't know what anyone needs. I actually don't want to
be privy to too much because there's a gang other
people in the room. So let me just surrender to
the moment and trust that you'll get what you need.
You don't have to give me a personal story. Just
(36:00):
let me surrender to this moment and trust that you'll
get fed, You'll get what you need. And then I
think another part was when I made the decision was
when I invited my dad one day to come, who
was like Manager of the Year in two thousand, like
(36:21):
just this brilliant genius coach, like so smart, so brilliant,
again understanding that what was important to him was that
the man was as great as the athlete. I knew
I had that same opportunity. I knew that every individual
that was in my room, if I could coach them
(36:45):
to be great on that bike, the way that I
would use that was to coach them to be great
period in every other area, because, like you said earlier,
the way you do one thing is the way you
do all things. So if we can buy into that,
I could intensely coach you to be super great on
(37:08):
this bike or in this particular medium or whatever it is.
At the same time, I'm cracking you open physically, and
you're like, oh my god, what's happening? Am I pouring
in the coaching, the motivation, the encouragement, the inspiration, and
you're able to receive it. It's able to seep in,
(37:29):
it's able to like find its home, And when it's
all said and done, you don't even realize what just happened,
you know, But there was a moment where you were
wide open, yes, and like the goodness was poured in,
the love was poured in, the encouragement was poured in,
(37:50):
and all of a sudden you were wide open and
able to heal and be rewired and you didn't even
realize it. And a lot of times when we were
in those coach I was in those coaching situations, I
would like sometimes I would look out and like see individuals,
(38:12):
but mostly like everybody was like one and I would
and I would. I would see us as a collective.
I would see us as a community. I would see
us as like we're going to rise up as a team.
It was like open heart surgery, and I knew people
were healing. I knew they were healing. I knew that
(38:32):
people were coming and broken and walking out hole. Like
I knew it and I felt it and I saw it.
I was just the spaceholder, you know what I mean,
Like I was just like I was just the one
that had to surrender and like allow what needed to
(38:53):
take place to take place. Yes, and that's all like,
and I couldn't look at myself as anything more than what.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
A beautiful game that you have.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
And I will say this, it also can be a
curse at times. I think that's the part people don't realize.
And I want to talk about that because I have
so much to learn from you and I'm so grateful
for our time together and I just I get it
in a way where and I say this all the
(39:24):
time to my partner Sophia, because we go to a
lot of events between her entertainment piece and my sports.
I mean it's constant. And she goes into a room,
and she is just it ignites something in her to
have that human connection. She leaves those moments feeling so
(39:47):
inspired and just thinking, God, that was just like she's
on a high.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
I have the ability in a very small way that
I imagine you do, to see see people and meet
them where they're at, to create space, to create a
moment of pure connection, to make them feel safe in
a way where conversations like this go deep. And I
(40:19):
leave these spaces feeling so tired, and I truthfully there's
times where I have to just lock myself in the
room for a few hours or not taught like it
takes so much out of me that I have to
hibernate in a way to recharge my batteries to be
(40:40):
able to serve and show up and do it all
over again. How do you protect yourself? Do you feel that?
Is that very.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I'm exactly the same way. And what I was taught
was that when you're and this may or may not
be the case for you, uh and Sofia, but it
is definitely the case for my husband and I is
that I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert. So Jerome
(41:11):
and I have a thing where he knows I'll go
and I'll go hard in the paint like I'm out,
I'm doo doo, I'm doing all the things do do,
giving life, given light lessons. And then as soon as
I have said all, I can say, I'm done, and
(41:33):
I'm done for a minute like I'm done, like it
took me out yep. And then I have to go
and I have to refuel for a while, maybe some days.
And so what was hard about teaching as much as
I was teaching was that I was going in the
room and in those coaching moments, I was given all
I had. I was pulling from like all of it,
(41:57):
just like here it is, here is everything and in
the height. You know. There were times where I was
doing that like five times a day, and I would
go home at the end of the day and feel
like I had the flu. Every Tuesday and Thursday when
I taught five, I felt like I had the flu.
And what was happening was the people who were my
(42:17):
number one, my children and my husband were getting the
least of me, and I was giving perfect strangers like
my best.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
They got my best. This is me, yes, I feel
this in my bone.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
And then my kids and my husband got what was
left over, and I had to learn how.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
To give.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
To my number ones and create a schedule that allowed
me to be the best coach possible but also be
the best mom and wife possible. And that took me
down to, oh, maybe I can only do this once
a day, maybe I can only do this every other day,
(43:13):
which wasn't good for the company, but it was what
I needed to be my best for my number ones.
And you so you learn that. And so now Jerome
and I have a great understanding. We'll go out to
an event and like he can kiki all night with
randoms and have just small talk and just love it.
(43:36):
And I start off tough. I start off tough, and
then when it's done, it's done, and we know, we know,
and he's like he has my back.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
I love that, and it's it's like that's why I'm
laughing because people think I'm so, oh, yeah, you're out here.
You can get a conversation with anyone, this extrovert. And
I'm like, I'm like, you don't wear ye.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
I'm gonna sit here and do it because I do
love you. I do love you. But it's it's it
pulls from a different, Like some people get energy from
people and some people have to get their energy to
be with people. And it's all love. It's all love.
I just energetically, I feel depleted at the end of
(44:25):
Sam and I have those interactions.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
I agree, And I think that's the hardest part about
showing up in the spaces and ways we actually do.
And that's why I say it's a beautiful gift, but
it also can be a curse. Where's you're out, Oh gosh,
stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after
this brief message from our sponsors. So talk to me
(44:53):
about your your boys two. They are so handsome there,
so smart, They're so dope. They are so smart, so successful.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
So successful. I'm just proud to be their mom. I
was like, how did this happen? Like sometimes I just
look at them and be like, and I'll just tell
him I can't believe I get to be your mom.
I can't believe I get to be your mom.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
They're just dope, They're dope. It is the greatest title,
isn't it It? Being mom is probably and we've won
some things in our day. It is the greatest title
of my life.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
Right. Also, the hardest, literally, because they can be brats too.
Like my eighteen year old, I'm just like, you know what,
Like he's at that age where he's still so dependent
on us, but like swears he knows everything, and so
(45:56):
you almost every day just want to like like headlock him,
like no, you don't, no, you don't know. But he's
also so freaking great and like integral and like honest,
(46:16):
and he's a good human.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
You know, it must be hard for you that he's
in Philly. So if most people don't know he is
exceptional at soccer, Yeah, playing in the Philadelphia Union.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
System, I mean he is.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
He's stealing the show.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
He's freaking dough. He's like he had fourteen goals this season,
he led the team. He Yeah. So now we're at
a little crossroad where he's trying to figure out like
what to do and where to go. He wants to
go overseas and play. He wants more development and you know,
(47:02):
more tools in his toolbox as far as like that's concerned,
and so we're trying to figure it out. He's still
like doesn't do his own laundry that great, Like doesn't
like feed himself that great. So then there's all that stuff.
He finally got his driver's license at eighteen. Oh my gosh,
and he got pulled over for the first time yesterday.
(47:24):
It was terrifying. Yes, of course I was terrifying. It
was so crazy. It was actually two days ago. He
got pulled over for the first time, and I was like,
I freaked out. And I was just like, I was
talking to my friend Tony because I remember during COVID
my friend Tony got pulled over and he had like
(47:46):
a real crazy reaction to it and like freaked out.
And it was not long after all the George Floyd stuff,
and so I was like, Tony, you need to talk
to him. He needs to obey the laws of the land.
And I'm like, do and all this like high ground parenting.
And my friend Tony said to me, which was so profound,
(48:07):
he said, Angela like, and so he can obey the
laws of the land. I was like, over, as a
black man, you need okay. So I'm obsessed with my kids.
I love my kids. I have tremendous, well behaved, phenomenal
(48:32):
athlete children. But as a mom of two black boys,
I have different concerns. Yes, you know, I'm ting I
you know, I know what you're talking about, and I
come from privilege, white privilege, and it is scary to
(48:55):
raise a black child in this landscape, and this black
child that will never know your privilege like you will
give them your privilege in the sense of economically, but
(49:16):
they will never the world will never ever look at them,
look at your child in the same lens that they
look at you ever ever. And I understood that after
Trayvon Martin when we were at a friend's house, one
(49:40):
of my white friends, and I was actually one of
the only black people there now that I think about it,
me and Jerome and my kids, but their kids were there.
It was a pool party and it was starting the
sun was starting to go down, and my son went
and put on his little school hoodie at that time,
(50:01):
he was in elementary school and he had the hood on.
And I'll never forget. We're all sitting out in the
backyard at this time, like maybe just eating or something,
all at the tables, and my son comes from around
the corner. Now, the last time I saw me out
on his swim trunks. Now he comes around the corner
(50:23):
and he has on his hoodie with his hood on,
and my heart sank and I realized at that moment
people may not ever know how wonderful and kind and sweet.
They will just look at this like Trayvon, this young
(50:49):
black boy with his hood on and his skittles, and
like just.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
That.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
I immediately had this check and I was like, Oh,
it's different. Oh this is different. Yep, Oh this is different,
and it is.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Unfortunately because of what has happened and who has been elected.
I'm terrified for our children. Yeah, and I don't sleep.
It's hard enough to eat.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
It's horrific.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
It is so scary, and it's so out of our
control in a lot of ways. And as a mom
raising black children, especially black men, I can only, like
you said, give them the tools. It's not about getting
(51:49):
pulled over. It's about getting home. It's about how do
you get home safe with the tools you've been given
and the knowledge and how we've raised you. It's still
sometimes out of their control, scary and scary.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
It's scary.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
And I say this all the time because there is
so much of my life right now that I'm scared.
I'm fearful not only being a gay woman for my community,
but raising two black children who I've adopted through Florida.
I just don't know what is to come. And it
(52:28):
is a weird feeling now at thirty nine, living in
so much fear in twenty twenty four, But it fuels
me to fight. It fuels me to fight. It fuels
me to be a connector to reach out to say
we're not that different. You and I are not that different,
(52:51):
and to serve this country in ways that we choose
to do so we can connect people on a level
that isn't based on what we look like, and that
is our gift.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
And you know what I'm gonna tell you, And you
know I'm gonna tell you as a mom. I'm telling
you as a mom, We're going to have different fears
and concerns. There's gonna be things that keep us up
at night, all of that.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Like I.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
Apologize Mom and Dad for what I put you through.
However we can have that. We have to protect them
from living in fear.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
They need to be free. Yes, they need to live,
They need to live. I appreciate you coming on, sharing
your wisdom, sharing your scars. Thank you, sister, and thank
you for always choosing kindness, for choosing always tell my
(54:00):
daughter this kindness is currency. And you live it.
Speaker 2 (54:05):
That's right, and you do too. And I am proud
of you for showing up and holding this kind of
space for authentic conversations, for allowing us to build community,
for allowing us to share space and being each other's lives.
(54:26):
Like I'm proud of you than you as as I
understand what this requires for you to even sit here
and have these conversations. I understand what that requires for you,
and the fact that you're willing to pay that price.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
Wow, Thank you. I appreciate you being on here. Thank
you for being so vulnerable, so honest, so wide open.
Tell everyone what your work. You're the most creative artistic
person I know, and you're constantly working on things. Let
everyone know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
But So, I have a mantra album right now. I
only have one song released. It's called I Can Do
My Life, and I think it's just a beautiful mantra
that I've created for everyone. You know, you can do
your life. There's not going to be one obstacle that
you'll face that you cannot overcome. You can do your life.
(55:26):
You are equipped to do your life. And so you
can download that song on Spotify, on Apple Music title
everywhere where music is. But there is a whole album
and there is a book coming, so just be on
the lookout and you can follow me on my Instagram,
Angela Manuel Davis. And that's it. And I love you
(55:48):
and you're amazing and keep crushing being you.
Speaker 1 (55:56):
You are perfect. Thank you, you nail it every time
I'd like, I'm grateful. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is
an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on
(56:16):
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones.
Production assistants from Malia Agudello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz,
Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan
(56:38):
and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, Ashlan Harris.
Host
Ashlyn Harris
Popular Podcasts
40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season
Daniel Jeremiah of Move the Sticks and Gregg Rosenthal of NFL Daily join forces to break down every team's needs this offseason.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.