"THE MOST CONFIDENT VIRGIN IN THE WORLD!" w/ Paget Brewster, Doug Benson and Mary Lynn Rajskub

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose A production of
I Heart Radio? Oh my God, Well here we go.
I'll be honest. Yeah, he's super fucking boring, but I
don't hate him yet. I did enjoy. I did enjoy
clear hating, but I felt like perfectly. It's like painting

(00:25):
a girl Keith Stamach like like he's like he's just
like a nice whatever. He's neither like an American cheese
wonderbread girl Cheese Dammach like I can't hate that. He's fine. Hello,
Welcome to the very first episode of the season of
Clayton Wonderbread Bachelor with his doubleganger Jessie Tomber hosting. Don't worry, America,

(00:52):
it's back traditional, it's white. We're back in Calabasas with
a white host and a lead. Don't worry everybody. I
feel like we've got puppies. We've got a man with
dimples and an underbrighte. We have a man whose mom
wears a jaunty giant bow with American flags on it

(01:13):
when she doesn't know she's gonna be on camera. Let's
just say every day where giant giant neckerchief, huge pussy
bow of America all just that's just a Tuesday. Guys,
my name is Art Marine, coming to you from a
bougie garage in Los Angeles, California, quadruple maxed, relaxed and vaxed.

(01:38):
And here we go. Somebody got waxed. And his name
is the Captain Ladies I don't know, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a man who is such a wonderful addition to this podcast.
His passion for the franchise cannot be understated. I this
is let me ask you a question. First of all,

(01:58):
you know him from comedy, you know him as a podcasts,
you know mostly as the Captain Ladies and Gentlemen. Doug Benson, Hi,
what's your question? My question is is this your first
season that's in the traditional bachelor mansion? Oh? For sure,
because I started out in the Quinta. Now you know
that we can actually all AIRBI and b that mansion,

(02:19):
But it's not cheap. Do you think we could somehow
do like a tweet trade with them for like a
Tuesday night. Oh? I don't know what could be arranged,
but you know, I'll throw my my influencer weight such
that it is, I'll throw it behind it to try
to get it to happen. I feel like with this
group that's here today, we throw in a few other humans,

(02:42):
I feel like we might be able to finagle like
one weird off night, like with a trade, a trade
situation over. Let's go for Saturday night. Let's go for
Saturday night, a weird Saturday night. Who knows when? When
is there busy nights? You know? Is it a place
that caters to to bachelor con I'm sure it's got

(03:04):
to be a bachelorette party because of the because they
like to go there and just yeah, ghosts of yes,
yes in the air. Yeah, the hot tub. They need
to go just like, soak up that in. That's exactly right.
I was the same success rate as my husband with
my husband as Colton jumping the fence, also with us

(03:28):
as a woman. She came to us um two seasons ago,
and she came in hard, she came in hot. She
started watching really last year. I believe well, I blame
you for bringing me into this. Thank you you started
texting me I can't get out. Okay? Is this your okay?
First of all, you know her from twenty four, you

(03:49):
know her from the Tomorrow Wars. You know her, you
know her from legally blond to go on. You know
her from her brilliant stand up career, you know her
as my friend. We love her so much. She is
a title? Can you can you give her a title? Captain?
A title? Yeah, a title? Bring it up? Whatever you thought,
bring it up, take it up a notch, because I

(04:09):
know what I'm thinking. Yeah, give her a promotion kind
of HR, the head of HR. I was gonna, I mean,
that would I think she'd be good in that room,
She'd be great. But I was going to go more
like like our fancy title Empress podcast, Empress married in
Rice Cat Mary Lynn Welcome. I was thinking, duchess, and

(04:32):
you did exactly what I asked. You took it up, Empress, Empress?
Is this so this is your first one? Also in
the mansion, I can't. I'm I mean, I'm I'm stunned.
I'm coming from Michelle's into this. Yes, and wait, where
is this mansion now in Calabasa, Calabasas. Yes, you've driven
by it, You've driven by it. I feel happy to

(04:54):
be in there. It feels right. Yeah, it does feel right.
It feels good to be back in the mansion. Um
also with us as a woman who looks so good
for a one fifteen. She is zooming to us legitimately,
so stunning. I'm gonna say this is peak. This is
peak Secretary of State vibes right here. You know her, uh,

(05:17):
you know her from Criminal Minds, you know her from
another period, you know her from duck Tails, you know
her as our secretary of State, the most symmetrical face
in America, my best friend Pageant Brewster. It do feel
like she's zooming into the situation room. She is, and
she is zooming in from the situation where she's so sorry. Yes,

(05:37):
we're all quarantining here in the situation room. I love this. No,
she's taking care of herself. She is a woman with
boundaries who can speak up. How did you mento it? So?
How did you have you seen every season that has
ever aired of the Bachelor? How? How did this opening
sees opening night? How did it stuck up for you? Uh?

(06:00):
I don't like a lot of the ladies. I think um.
As the Bachelor and Bachelorette franchise has evolved, people have
become more presentational and less real life. I think, um,
But I continue to watch just so I can do
this with you. Thank you so much. And can I
just say how sad we are once again that we

(06:20):
this would be a huge chunk of the lineup at
sketch Fest and if you hang onto those tickets, we'll
be doing it again a twenty nine um also with
us without them the production team. Are you kidding me?
My physician? She is not only a banana, she's a

(06:41):
doctor banana. She's a tan banana, a tanna banana, Arianna
anna banana. Hos me a Arianna? How are you today?
Thank you great? You know it's funny Patrick, you said
you think these women are very presentational. But I don't
think the woman who showed up with her uh what
the lifted work out boots was fair. I thought she
was here fully for the right reason. Oh my god.

(07:03):
We knew, we knew, so we did the draft picks
yesterday and we saw that she was there about her
kango kango boots. We at least she didn't get to
say the name of them, and I assume she got cut.
We knew she was going to exit the limo in
those stupid move moods, and she did all do with
us today. I didn't get on shark tanks exactly. Sharks
I have a proposition for you all do with us.

(07:26):
Katie Levine, have you also seen every EPI season? Seen
every single season? Did this seem like a fun I
gotta tell you, I feel like with the preview as
much as I look, is he boring? Yeah? Do I
wish they picked any But ABC to me is the
real villain and nuts and who they picked this guy
is like so harmless. And also the fact that they're
like they had made second one so much progress, yes,

(07:48):
making the show better, and like the last season especially,
they really chose like good dudes. Yes, one of the
drama guys on a couple and it was exciting. Yeah,
in this season they're like, no, we're going to choose
the fucking most intense but we can find yes. And
oh and I don't like how they're like, we're back
at the mansion. No, no, no, they they're definitely signaling
to a certain demo. It's really upsetting. But I think

(08:10):
this season, I think it will still be fun to watch.
But he himself, so far, I'm willing to back up
my I'm willing to go he is what he is,
but like he's not. He's fine so far, There's nothing
he's a perfectly fine guy. He's underwhelming and just a
very normal person most days. Tall, like I feel like,

(08:30):
don't you say feel like tall guys like I think
if you're big in America, like you get so like
you you get far just by being tall, would you agree,
Doug Benson? I guess so. I guess it could help.
It could also be a hindrance, like like anything, you know,
and as a man, yeah, like, well, like the men

(08:51):
who don't play basketball that are tall, are you know,
deemed pretty worthless just for that alone? I mean, you know,
they're great for getting things off the top shelf. I
think it's bigger than that. I it's surprising coming from
a man that you don't see that as a real
thing in the world. I think tall men are given

(09:12):
more trust and m authority and maybe a proper amount
at all. But you don't see super tall people, Like
there's no politicians that are over like six ft four
six three. How tall is Clayton? What do we he's what?
I think he sikes? Four is six four? What about
Gavin Newsom is six four six four? Clayton is six four?

(09:37):
I say anything six and above. It's like, oh yeah,
six four, I feel like they get I think they
get paid more. I think they get more. Lady Tanna,
you're a doctor and you're an economist. What do you
know about this? I mean, just based off watching millions
of hours of reality TV. In my life, there are dudes,
you know, you'll see it in Summer House where certain

(09:57):
guys who are just trash, yes, and they're like, why
are all the women in love with this guy? And
it's like, oh, he's tall. Nothing else. Women like tall.
They just like the women on the bats are definitely
like a man. They can jump up on. Well, I
jumped up on Carl is tall? Yes, exactly, Yes, Paget,
I will say this. Look. First of all, I think

(10:19):
I read in a Psychology Today issue years ago that
in corporate America, tall guys get most of the promotion,
raises all that. So I think there is definitely But
once you've dated a few tall uh goons. My husband's
five eight and he can jump like a circus. Yes,

(10:44):
tell are you? How? Tell? Are you? I'm five seven hot?
That's a hot combo. I was married to tall and
I'm dating now. I was married to tall, I'm dating now.
I'm finding on the apps. Here's my theory. I don't
think five ten at exists. I think people say five
ton and that means five six, that means tops tops.

(11:07):
I don't think five ten is a real height. I
don't think it. Actually think they're fudging it or they
have to come clean after you interact. Well, once you
see them, you know they're not five ten, but pass
it off. I just put that on the app. I
recently went out with a gentleman who and who claimed
to be five ten to my face, and I thought,

(11:30):
that's I'm looking at you right now and you're five
seven like you're I mean, not that I cared like
that didn't bother me, but it's just do you think
there's pressure? I think that's I think my brother was
quite small. He didn't grow. He was like four eleven
when he was a sophomore in high school. He was
afraid he was never going to grow. He was a
little guy. He was small. He was he was small,

(11:52):
and it definitely I think affected his personality, considering he's
six eight man, he's seven to now. He was. He
a grower, not a shower. But I will say, oh
my god about my own brother. Disgusting, absolute crash. So disgusting.
My apologies to everyone. UM, I will say, uh yeah,

(12:15):
I do think that guys feel pressure you. I mean,
but you're you're like six ft tall, but you actually
are five eleven. I think, so, yeah, you feel like,
tell me when I get on the you know, when
they measure you every time you go to the doctor.
I mean, that's a great height. I feel like, Doug,
you don't subscribe to these uh these social like everybody else.

(12:38):
You don't need that. That doesn't That's about it. I
don't really you know. I do think that there is
a disadvantage to being a shorter man. I think, as
you see out in the world, they compensate by, you know,
trying harder or whatever. You know. But they do say
on dating apps that men lie about their income level

(13:00):
in their height, and women lie about their weight and
their age. Yeah. Yeah, generally speaking, I believe that. Um okay,
I want to just let everybody know that we're all masked,
so it sounds if it sounds slightly muffled because we're
safety people, but we want to be in person and
we have the doors open. So there we here, we are,

(13:25):
we're starting out. We're in the bachelors were in the
suburbs of Missouri, and we go to visit his mom,
and as I mentioned, and the during the song the
mom urra he arrives. She was very cute. Her reaction
was very cute. But she was wearing a an enormous
bow that had American little I think American flags on
it was that fourth of July? Was that just what

(13:49):
she wears on like a Wednesday? Mary Lynn, what do
you know about that bow? Can you tell me what
he thought? Did you notice the bow? I noticed the bow.
I noticed there were cameras in her house and she
was fine with it. I noticed that Clayton himself said,
I'm just a guy from Missouri who doesn't want to

(14:12):
be in the spotlight. I noticed they all want to
be the spotlight. She wants to show her bow, she
wants to show her American flag. I think it's kind
of garross that a mom would be so happy. I
prefer when the parents are like, I don't know about this,
right right, A little skeptical, I will say. Rewatching like
the opening package of him going the Bachelor was so

(14:35):
moving for me, even though I was on screen for
four minutes. When those children slash producers wrote me that letter.
That's when I knew kids. And then when he was
like crying, going well, I thought, oh he is that's right.
He was so thirsty for it that made me not
like him again. Paget Brewster, how did you feel this
opening package with the mom, the surprise at the giant bow.

(14:57):
First of all, I think she may not actually have
know and I think he. I think he dreamed it
up with his dad. His dad's there filming on his phone.
His mom is wearing a shirt with a logo on it,
which the producers would never have allowed if he were
already in the house thank you. So I think she
was surprised, but then overly eager to send her son

(15:17):
to the mansion to have sex with as many people
as possible. That's very weird. The whole family clearly invested
in in his being the bachelor. But he says in
in all of the previews, isn't he saying I slept
with most of three? All of them he's in love

(15:37):
with three, okay, Dr Dr Bananna three and that's when
the one lady goes three. I know what the actual funk,
I don't know, but he also I do think the
mom came off as a woman who watches the show
actually got him into the show right on it. So
I think that that's the energy I got from the

(15:58):
mom was like she was like, oh my god, I
love that show. Finally, my son. I would say this
as now as I'm dating again. I've been on two
dates with two different people who said that they've been
approached by Bachelor producers like that they and their friends.
I think they go scouring, dude. They all of them

(16:21):
seem to have one point in time lived in Nashville.
I think they really scour Nashville bars hard um uh,
because people are visiting from all over Good count Yes,
on the Bachelorette party, so it's like the bachelork capital
of America. But yes, I think for the guys, they
really scour. For the guys. I think the Nashville, Venice Beach, yes, Austin, yes,

(16:47):
San Diego, San Diego, yes, San Diego, Chicago, yes, San Diego,
Virginia Beach. For women for sure, Yeah, to the Bay.
And they go on LinkedIn apparently to find like professionals.
Um uh. Doug, how did you feel about rewatching his
Tearful Children letter writing thing and the mambo opening? I

(17:09):
thought that the whole like first half hour of the
show at least was like begging the viewers to like
this guy or have any kind of investment in him whatsoever,
because as nice as you think he is, Like, that's
the other thing about you're saying about everything being presentational
is you don't get a sense of his personality at all.

(17:30):
He's just reacting to these things that these women are
saying and doing well that whole night with him just
being like happy to entertain everybody, and he didn't really
even seem to have an opinion other than oh, she
was beautiful. He said that I bought a couple of them.
He sure did. I'll tell you now that you say that.
I was also aware in that first half hour I
feel like they went back and reshot the footage of

(17:53):
him like in the bleachers or he was like, because
I feel like they probably filmed the season. Then they
leak doubt Jesse Palmer leaked that he was it. We'll
get to Jesse Palmer in a second, which I'm like,
are you kidding me? Okay, but we'll come back to Jesse.
Put a pin in Jesse. We're coming back to Jesse,
So I we'll have a Jesse moment. We'll have a

(18:13):
bunch of pins. We're gonna have an open court for
Jesse in a moment. But so, I feel like they
filmed the season. I think they thought, this is great,
we have Colton, but he's straight. Like I think they
thought we're gonna redo Colton, and then I think they
did not expect the backlash of people going, are you

(18:34):
fucking kidding me? You have all these great guys, it's
the first time the final four all people of color.
You pick a guy that was on screen for one
minute that we have no connection to like, so I
think they refilmed him after it was done, going, so,
why did they pick me? It's because they had such
an impact on me, Like, remember remember when the kids

(18:55):
wrote that, Like, I think they completely had to redo
the opening levine you've been watching from the beginning, Do
you agree with that? Yeah, it felt like they thought
people were going to like him, And I do kind
of wonder like maybe in the editing room he just
got less less time, Like maybe he was bigger in
the show and we didn't see it. I really feel

(19:16):
like they just wanted a boring, fucking white dude. Though
she looked so not into him. On their days, it
looked forced on her and she looked like she wasn't
feeling it at all, and she was just sparkly gal
I know. But after the backlash, I think they did
have to, you know, do something. So they were like, ship,
go back to those Wheechers to talk about this. Yes,
something I remember from Michelle's season in the previous is
there was footage of him calling someone an actor, of

(19:39):
him accusing someone of being an actor that we never
actually ended up seeing on the show. They have had
more time and they cut it to protect his image
a little right, Like he called he definitely called someone
an actor. Wasn't Frankie bit because you can see him saying,
we all thought it was Nate. Yeah remember good memory, Tann.
I think they protected him in some way. Um, so

(20:02):
we have there. She goes, she's got um, I want
to have married, I'm gonna have kids. Um. So, I
feel like, because we did all the draft picks yesterday,
all the packages we saw were sort of as advertised.
It was like it was basically what you know. I
was like, oh, yeah, I remember her, So I'm not
going to go through all the I mean, I feel

(20:23):
like we met sort of most of them, Like, there
was that lady that's like I'm from a small town
and I'm like, just like so from Yeah, wasn't one
of your picks, the lady with the with the how
do we do on our picks? Katie? So we didn't
do great? I have them here. There's still people. We

(20:46):
all have somebody in our top three that could still happen. Yeah. Yeah,
I picked Sally, who outed herself immediately. And then you
had Gabby and Susie, Doug. You had Susie, Rhianna and Serene.
Are they gone gone? Who Anna? You had Lindsay de
Rian Gabby, and I had Rachel, Susie and Teddy. Um

(21:09):
all right, well Teddy Teddy as our villain, crazy and drunk,
so I love they just kept playing like um. We
see him also in his preview wearing a crazy enormous
matrix jacket going I am falling in love and it
feels so good. That's so natural. Do you say that

(21:29):
dog all the time? That's like a Tom Cruise on
the couch. Yes, this is exactly what it is. I'm like,
I know this, That's exactly it. He's always like, let's
you're right, it is Tom Cruise on the couch. Oh
my god, I had to put my finger on it.
That's what it is. You don't like him, He's conditioning
you to like you're right, You're right. Okay, So then

(21:50):
they play classic rock and then here comes Jesse Palmer
in front of the mansion and he's so stiff. He
kept talking with his hands. He looks actually like Clayton
with his like crunchy gel hair, his giant Veneers paget.
I think he was trained to do the Chris Harrison
hand movies because he did them precisely. I mean, it's

(22:14):
almost like why even like this is phrasing to like
the way Chris says, and then also to be saying
you're gonna be hearing me talk about it's dramatic about
the past and how it used to be. Like, yeah,
you think they trained him to use the hand movement.
I saw the hand movement. I didn't realize that that

(22:36):
was what CHRISTI does incredible good specific Yeah he did,
and so it's almost kind of like it does. It
does feel a little matrix e like, Okay, we got
a white bachelor, we got a white host. He's doing
the same hand Yes, going to be hypnotized into thinking
that we haven't made any societal advancements and the pandemic

(23:00):
never happened. Like, do you guys remember they had Immanuel
Acho who posted he did the exact same thing as well.
It's like they make them watch Chris Harrison tape and
they like, literally, yes, totally how they speak. You're right.
Even even our sweet baby Wells when Wells got to
host the ceremony in and I'm sure whoever hosts they

(23:23):
make watch old footage. It's natural too that they've seen
in the show. Yeah, so you go into it, you
slip into it, necessarily, think about it. The final Rose tonight,
Oh my god, you aren't pick take a moment. Oh
my god, oh my god. Exactly, I'm sorry, there's only

(23:48):
one Rose left. I'm sorry, but you know it's less
so I guess because obviously it's a woman. I feel
like they're like, we're bailing on the woman. Exactly. Guys,
don't worry, we're back. We're back, guys. Get those overies away,
get we're back. We gotta we got a white dude,
we got a penis at the helm would be the best.

(24:12):
There's almost anybody villain from the past literally chat, Oh, yeah,
we love that you loved lands bast Okay, so then
we have we go to his hometown of Eureka, Missouri.
I loved the woman coming out of the salon with
her hair foils in to be like that was felt
very that felt real. That felt real. Um, And he

(24:34):
was like, well, I started playing football, then I got
I walked on and then I would played ProFootball. Katie,
what do you know about his football career? Practice squad? Yeah, okay,
we should get Sarah Colonna and John Ryan because he
was a Seahawk. Didn't he play for the Seahawks. It
looked like it looked like a Seahawk. Okay, what would
he be doing for a living if he between football

(24:55):
and being a bachelor? Yeah? What did he ever do?
Great question? Great, great question. Okay, we'll be right back. Okay.
Then he was like, the kids of the show made
a huge impact on my life when I got those
letters from the kids that are thirty nine year old
evil Bachelor producers. And then he started crying and he
was like, I want a family is so bad. I

(25:17):
want to And he was like, my experience on the
Bachelorette was life changing. I wrote Jesse Palmer Cyborg hand talker.
So then we have Nay, she's from a town of
eight hundred and forty people. Gabby came out to the
tight end, Rachel the flight instructor. These are all just

(25:39):
the entrances. Yes, yes, So he played for the Seahawks,
but only in preseason for four games, so he didn't
make the cut. And then he um got and then
he had a career in medical sales. Okay, so he
was like my sales rep. He was like a pharmaceutical rep.
He's one of those hot ladies that shows up at
the doctor's offices with their littlebody. He goes and flirts

(26:01):
with like the lady like yeah, youlready tuxble with the
guys and like like seventy year old Rhonda at the
front desk. He's like, Rhonda, how's those grandchild? Oh you
look prettier? Whose mother? Whose daughter? Rhonda? She's like, oh,
I will buy that litera from you? Like that. Let's
get to this. This was a really fun way to

(26:24):
start the show. Sally, who was my number one pick
and to self was an incredible casting job. We meet
Sally her botox was rarer to go and I was
here for it, Hannah, you do she was, guess what?
Not only was she formerly engaged and you don't know
this Maryland, but she was also a like a motorized

(26:46):
spine operator, like she like controls the robot arms when
you do like during spiles or dream But they put
us her career formally engaged because they were so excited
to find a woman who not only used to be engaged,
but her wedding date was that day that day talked
to us. There's a lot of stuff online about how

(27:06):
her timeline, so her the date was it began filming,
and that her wedding was supposed to be was September.
In August she was she was at her bachelor party
in Mexico, and then September twenty she flew to South
Carolina for her hair appointment and like there's Instagram photos

(27:27):
of it. And then afterwards late November she tagged her
ex fiance in Mexico on Instagram. So I don't see
what the problem was. The problem though, no like in November,
so like after she left after they broke up, she
is back with her fiance. I guess, Okay, she was
getting her hair done to get her know they do

(27:48):
a test run. They tested out like she applied to
be on The Bachelor before she even broke up. That yeah,
that is fake and it says like Cassine probably started
like August, you know, so you're so there's so the
Reddit is saying she this. She apparently she posted all

(28:11):
of this and people found it quickly and then she
deleted like all the ship on her Instagram. Well, I
don't mean to throw on the fire of hearsay, but
they also she's very carefully during the show. Was like
there was an indiscretion, and the acting makes it seem
like it was him, but she doesn't say it, so
it could have been her and she could just be
sad that she screwed up her own marriage. I just

(28:32):
made all that up. I don't know, I mean trust yeah,
it could be okay, but what if? Okay, here here's
here's just because I will say, okay, let say, did
Pat are you out there? Paget are you listening? Page?
Here's what I want to city, because I feel like
you're a good sleuthe so let me ask you this.

(28:53):
Here's this hot lady where South Carolina is already said
so like Charleston or something. Right, So here's this, here's
this hot eight. Somebody sees her hammered, like in a
hotel bar, going like Carl just fucked some steward is
or she fuck his plight attendant whatever, like a plodes instructor,
funk that guy, and they're like, why do you come
with us? We're filming, Like maybe she didn't apply. Maybe

(29:16):
they just scooped her up and they said, they're like,
oh my god, this is gold I just met like
or like my friends, my cousin's best friend just was
like the wedding's off, and like, I bet she didn't
have to go through the whole vetting process. I bet
somebody heard about this hot lady and they're like, fuck
that guy, come here, pat. Do you think they just
like saw an opportunity and scooped in and grabbed her.

(29:38):
He I think you're right. Someone overheard something, someone saw
something to have people all over the country scouting for
these hot, freaky people, like we've met them in real life.
The only normal one as well. The rest of them
all kind of look like gargantuan gods, like they're they're
they're gorgeous, and there are there too weak yes creatures. Yeah, yeah,

(30:01):
so someone because she wouldn't have applied. But here's the thing,
she must be coming back or why waste our time
with that entire thing, So she has to be coming back.
So it's more of they make Clayton look like a
good guy. Plus you get to see him being rejected
immediately before it's even happening. He gets turned down for

(30:23):
the room. Is that a lot of people were mad
at her and and at him for like seeing such
a red flag. I got a text my friend Whitney
was so mad. Um okay, she was like, this is
such a pretty white girl problem who has gotten practically
everything in life handed to her. This pretty blonde girl

(30:46):
was supposed to get married and what when engagement ended
last month? Decides to a pall for the bath floor.
Who does this? And then she sits and has this
totally self absorbed conversation about a wedding and this fool
has attracted to her. She screamed, red flag, not red rose,
thank you, and he just dove right into the red

(31:07):
flagwaters dr banana as a therapist? What what is that?
Why did he go right for that? I think he
saw like hot girl who's easy to talk to. I
think it's just the first female. Yeah, he's like, like
she seems to care enough to interact with me, but

(31:28):
like it does feel like he he just wants it
so bad that he just wants all the options he can,
so like there was no way he was not going
to be like you should stay like he would he
would not have been like yeah, sounds rough, Labe, Like
some guys love a damsel in distress. So she shows
up and as somebody pointed out in a tweet to us,

(31:49):
that she I'm gonna just say this was This is
in the running for tweeter of the Week. I thought
it was so accurate. I mean, um, okay, this is
from Mrs right at girl without attack back attached, knocking
on the door before a rowse ceremony, trauma dumping, walking
yourself out all before night one. Someone only read the

(32:12):
cliff notes of Ryan's dossier in a hurry. I mean
that she pulled that, she pulled, trauma bond, knocking on
the door, she walked herself out before he even started,
and he was there for it. Doug, you are our
street guy. What the fuck do some guys love a
damsel in distress? What is that? Doug? I think well, also,
we don't know both sides could have been heavily manipulated

(32:33):
by the production, like they could have all been very uh,
you know, we don't know how much of it was
stage or or you know, provoked because obviously someb we
can't normally just decide to go talk to the bachelor
before the before and then she had she had a phone.
Nobody has a phone. She had a quick If we
were to believe the kernel of what really happened is

(32:56):
she's there, whatever got her there, whether she was manipulated,
she's there and she's genuinely upset. Do we believe that, Yes,
because then they push her to be like because whether
she decides to say or leave, either way, they've got
a good potential storyline. Plus they could ditch the whole
thing if they don't like how how it turns out.
Did feel like Barbie and Ken Like I will say,

(33:17):
watching them, I was like, Oh they make sense. I
actually thought she was just going to stay. To be
honest with you, who was she calling? Who was she talking?
I don't like who her mom? Her mom? And like
who gave her the cell phone? No one has a
cell phone. I mean, Dana, what do you have to
say about all this. I look, the Sally timeline is

(33:37):
very suspect to me. I don't think Sally should have
been there. I think her own conscious caught up to
her and she was also like, oh wait, what the
funk am I doing? How did I get here? Didn't
you kind of think she was going to stay? Oh? Yeah?
The first second was like if if I think she
was the Rose, I was like, she's the winner. I

(33:59):
actually when you have of the Rose, I thought. But
that's why I think it was production coerced, because the
way she goes, the way she's telling her mom on
the phone, uh, you know. But then it turns out
he's really nice and we're really clicking, Like she's really
like both in a way that you know that they
were asking her to do. Well. It was I will
say it was a fun way to start the season

(34:20):
to watch him to go right into the red flags.
W about the first of Russian ros is like the
Marriott before they even like and like, Okay, you're upset,
so you get all this special treatment like you're feeling overwhelmed.
Here's a cell phone, here can away? Yeah, what are
future contestants going to try to pull the watch the show. No,

(34:42):
it just changed the game, that's what it got rewarded.
It got reward season. Since I've started, there's been a
game cheater moves, thank you, thank you. Interview with Sally
because I need to know the timeline. I need to
know what happens. Do you want to reach out as
a producer from the SEW and try to get but
we Sally, girl? What Sally? Don't listen to this show?

(35:04):
But come on, I don't want to like start full rumors.
This is just when I'm seen and read it, so
I love that. Oh my god, this is so fun.
This is my career currently. Her fiance was married before
her and there was in fidelity, and it sounds like
there was with her never beat cheet, she had never

(35:27):
beat her. And then somebody said that they I don't
know how people find this out, but like it had
to do with that he was like still legally married
to his ex wife and they couldn't get married. I mean,
it sounds like a lot who knows it's all just
like she's people legally married. A lot of batchelor read
it trying to figure out what was going on and
like trying to look at everyone's instagrams. I love it.

(35:48):
I hope this is all real. I thought it was
a really fun way to start the season. Did you
like it as a storyline? Oh? I hated it? She
met her showback up or I don't know, man, I
would have red flag find out hours before the night,
even before them. That wasn't fun for you a little bit. No,
it was a waste of my time. She's acting like

(36:10):
she glanced at a calendar and went, this was the
day I forgot. I forgot. Um. So she's like, I'm
an emotional wreck. So then um, she's like I kept
looking at Clayton and this is when I should be
walking down the aisle. I already like what I'm seeing,

(36:32):
but there's potentially something there. Thank you for being vulnerable.
I want more of that. Hold on, here's a rose.
She's called somebody. He's the nicest guy I have ever met, right,
nicer than apparently, uh, the guy she just busted up with,
who must have been pretty nice at some point. Yes,

(36:53):
now I have a great new guy, but my heart
is not in a place where I can accept this sort.
I hope she comes back. He's like first rose rejection,
and then we have Jesse, Palmer and Clayton are back
outside the mansion and it's two bros just freaking out together,
just browing. I'm here for you. I got doing this alone.
We're both so nervous. We've we've both got so much

(37:17):
on the line compared to all these poor women and
what they're about to go through to art is one. Literally,
there are two bros freaking Let's make out by a fountain,
just to comb our nerves. How did you feel watching
to hold your penis? I got you broke? How do
you feel watching all those bros freaking out? I was like, wait,

(37:39):
this is a mirror. Yeah, you felt you felt very See,
I'm nervous, nervous, like what is this? So then the
first person out of the limo, Um, Sarah is out first. Uh,
who's Sarah? She was very cute, she was a door rrible.

(38:00):
I don't remember much of her. Later she's a twenty
three year old wealth management advisor, which feels pretty young.
I don't remember much. Then we have n C who's
half Persian a half Korean. Cute. She's cute. That's a
good that's a cool combo um, and then let's see Yeah,

(38:22):
but her statement wasn't great. I would like to develop
a friendship with you that then develops into a romantic love. Hey,
she's using another language, so what she said in another lae,
I just learned that. Okay, Well what could I say? Nothing? Okay,
I don't think anybody should come on strong with the
I know a language you don't know. Yeah, I don't

(38:43):
know anything, because okay, yeah, he's gonna be overwhelmed by that.
Like and he's gonna be like, oh great, every time
she sees somebody that speaks that, they can say all
this ship they wanted, thank you for your honesty because
that's what I felt too, And then I covered it
up with like, oh isn't that great? A real feeling?
Is okay? You know I only speak English. Then we

(39:08):
have Susie. This freaked me out. She whipped out, Um,
she's like, she whipped out her handshake. She had an
electric zapper. And then she said, I'm a real jokester.
She should have been booted out right there. That father
just the word jokester. Pro don't say jokester ever. Nobody
that's such a boner killer as a lady or a man.

(39:32):
The producers are making some hard choices of like who
do we want to give the shitty Somebody on Reddit
said that they went to school with her and that
she's like the nicest person in the whole. They sucked
her over. The producers talked her. They saw a week
opening nice Susie. Oh yeah, she's my she's my number one,
She's adorable, She's going all the way. They gave her

(39:53):
that electric shopter. Wait, she's my number three. She's adorable.
She's my number three. I love her, But but they
gave him like, don't say that word jokester. I hate
the word jokes even more than you hate the electric shock.
I hate the electric shock. I also hate the word zany.
Somebody somebody called my house Zany. We're like, oh, your

(40:15):
styles really, Zaney. I'm like, I was like, yeah, I
don't consider myself Zane. Like it's no, I don't design zany. No.
I think Clayton ever judges a woman based on word
choice truth can. I really wanted her to be like,
I'm a real jokester and then put him in like
one of those headlocks like yeah, like yeah, just give

(40:37):
him a good nut tap or something like one of
the boys. He loves that ship probably would, by the way,
And I can't wait. We'll do it after the break.
I can't wait to get into Claire's cornholding because you
know he lost that. Claire came out. She's the spray
tenor um teddy teddy teddy. She's like, I'm a teddy bear.

(41:02):
He was. He was excited. She is three. She's the
most confidential virgin ever due but she's coming on so strong.
What I forgot she's a virgin? She was like, what's up?
She felt like she knew how to do things in

(41:24):
the bedroom like that. No one will ever like that.
You can never like a Commas suit like. She was
acting in a way that was like I know, I
know what. Yeah, she's like, Mom, if I get to
Mom her mother, I thought I got a fantasy. I
am in a fuck. I have like a sexist gender

(41:45):
philosophy that's being spelled out here. But if a guy's
a virgin, it makes him worse. If a girl's a virgin,
it makes her better because she's exploding with her sexual
on it and he thinks he's in love. Whoa. You
know the interesting thing about her, she hasn't dropped that
information to him. He doesn't know he doesn't even know.

(42:06):
We gonna wait till he's super Nay, I mean I
like that. She was also like, yeah, I'm a virgin.
I kind of didn't that. I changed my mind, but
at this point, let's make it real. But like, I
am ready to boone mom, and I'm going to get
at it if I make it to the finals. You're ready.
She's the most confident virgin. I forgot she was the virgin.
She's so like but it just does a bachelorette in general.

(42:28):
When she's talking to him, she's like got it. She's
got him under her spell. You know. She is like
touching his hair with her like behind the ear, like
stroking him in a way like I locked paget your sexy?
Is it to us? Is it possible? Because you know,

(42:49):
you hear these stories about like Mormon kids and kids
that that wear the ring, the purity ring and wait
until they get like they make a vow but they're
doing everything but and like but stuff. But yeah, so
maybe she really knows how to give a blowjob or
she knows it all that one thing's real handy. Nancy

(43:13):
Reagan was good at didn't you guys hear about that
came out that Nancy Reagan was like the best blowjob.
I heard that. I heard that she was really good.
I heard I heard that. I heard that he was
great at giving blowjobs. I did hear that. Will you
please it? Will you google it? Yeah, she's so good
it gives you onset dimension. Well, that was the thing.
Apparently on the studio lot she was known for giving

(43:34):
great blow jobs. And on Twitter they were calling her
and I'm very sorry to say this, but the throat
goat she really loved. Oh my god, just throat goat.
Oh my god, the throat got the internet is wild. Okay,

(43:59):
let's take a quick break at the throat, go right back,
but the bone zone. Let's get in the bone zone, guys. Um.
So then all those people came out after Teddy he
stepped out, and so that was the first limo. He

(44:20):
went into the living room in a movie to go
I'm excited, which I thought was kind of cute. It
was okay, or love her sort of Ducacus moment. Oh
that don't do that be a little more hard to
get yea. So he has no game. He has no game.
It's kind of like, okay, right, I feel like these

(44:41):
women because if it's true this anonymous person who emailed us,
if it is true that the women. So we had
an anonymous person email us who said that all the
women hated him in the matchies. So I'm like, I
almost was part of me thought last night, we'll get
to it in a second. I thought, oh, maybe he
didn't send Claire home, Like maybe they see week this
and like they turn on him as a pack like

(45:02):
maybe he's too soft for these gals. Yeah, but then
they also all have to pretend to want to win
the Ultimate Prize at the end because they want to
stay on the show, so they want to get to Paradise.
If we'll see any of that on TV, So that'll
be interesting for us to watch their seething hatred of
him while also making out with him. And I'm glad

(45:24):
I'm gonna way to reply to this person for details
until I get to go ahead from the captain. Oh well,
I mean, if you never know when the best time
to ask is, well, haven't. Well, just how much this
person want to stay involved with the Bachelor franchise. This
person wants to go to Paradise. Yeah, so we don't
want this person to be making statements because it might
hurt their chances, but we want to say their name, right,

(45:47):
So I guess for our own things, they can figure
it out. And a couple of a couple of episodes.
Maybe maybe, like maybe around fantasy Suite, we can reach
out to this person and say, why did everybody not
like him? But maybe I'll be compared to us, Maybe
we'll see why. Maybe we'll know absolutely why, because so
far he seems perfectly harmless and nice enough. I don't know,

(46:10):
but maybe he's totally like I might not like that
he's into all of them, right, Okay, we might be like,
oh he'll he'll just us, all right, He's got to
act like he's more interested in somebody, all right, there
we go. So then we have Kate the real estate agent.
I really lived up to everything we discussed about, walked
in and was that and not even her package deal

(46:32):
of like I earn a good living, I said, up
a comfortable life for myself. I'm a real estate agent.
And when she came out, that was the other real
estate So both real estate agents, both bonds, both real
estate agents. As the daughter of a real estate agent,
these ladies give real estate agent is a bad name.
Mom was not on selling Sunset. She was on selling

(46:53):
Little Confident. A great show. It's a lot of very
solid women looking at like brush because to your mom
being like, I wouldn't buy that one. It's a lot
of people like that's got a bad septic. You got
to care that, Like they gotta clear the shrub with
your hands. I would actually watch that. I would watch
that too, like women with like like hair's going out
of their chin and you're like, man, you might want

(47:13):
to tweez that. Um So, then she's got that sparkly
black dress and she's like, I thought, for good luck,
we could each hold one of my nips. And then
she pulled out a bottle of booze and she then
she came in and goes, y'all, I just made this
man take a shot with me. I'm so crisy do it?

(47:35):
I feel like it should be comb so other. As
soon as she walked in, the flash, yo, I'm just
my this man take a shot with me. Spent the
entire time going what what about her nips? Yeah, taking
a nip of alcohol? I get it? But who says that?
Who says here's my naps? I'm talking about my cocktails.

(47:58):
I dare you dug beds? She pulled him right out
of where her nips would be. How did she hide
those bottles under her? Like under them titties? Don't know
that that was a producer, the same person who did
the jokester. Someone's working for that dollar. Okay, paget hand
gun to head. You have to either do buzzer at hand.

(48:20):
I'm a jokester, or you want to handle my nips?
Which one do you take? Entrance? You have to jokester.
I'd rather sound like someone's dad hide bottles of booze
under my jabos. All right, Mary Lynn, nips or jokester?
Take nips? Why I can't say jokes I want to drink.

(48:45):
I can't say jokester? Electric shock? I hate that so
so much. All right, dr Banana, what are you taking?
Nips or jokester? I would do nips, but do full
size bottles either way. When I was in high school,
my boobs were so large. I was I was quite

(49:07):
a bit heavier than I am now, and my boobs
were so large I can hold like full shampoo bottles
under my titta's Doug put it away, sir, like a
bottle of mane and tail all right, if you're the bachelor,
would would you had to keep a woman who's done
either nips or jugster? Which who do you? Who do

(49:30):
you send home? Who do you keep? Nips or joke star?
Both of them just confused him so much. But I'd
say I'd go with the nips just because, you know,
anybody that shows up with, you know, just extra booze.
But also I feel like that was I feel like
maybe the producers kept saying, hey, bachelor, loosen up, have
a drink, and he was probably like, no, thank you,

(49:52):
and you're there, like let's send a girl in with
some alcohol, and let's say no because he's and he's
on camera, and he's on camera. I would probably do
the booze under the TETs. I can't say, Jokester, Katie,
which would you do? Jos Oh man, you Katie, I'm
not alone in this Jokester is harmless jokes to me first,

(50:12):
as I can't do it because you're professional. You're professional
comedians got into of course right now, always travels with
airplane bottles of booze under them. Today's here we are,

(50:33):
so yeah, I'm just like this man, take a shot
with me. I'm crazy I'm young, funthing. I had a
friend that used to say that I was an internet conan,
And there was a young lady who went to a
woman's college in Virginia, and she would go addun, we
are young, we all fun, and we already for anything date.

(50:56):
We can cut this out. We can decide after if
we want to cut it out. She went on a
date with one of the writers who was like into
certain things. I think he's like a foot fetu. She
was like, oh that man, she's like so proper. She's like,
oh that man. He had like a dungeon and like
a lighty and he gave me a foot robin. It
was the best foot rob I have ever had. We

(51:18):
are young, fun and readerful that he's spectacular. Yeah, she's
now like married to a prince and has like a
high end Kantos Countess Luanne. Yes, we were interested together

(51:40):
going she was ten years older, but still in turning
because so then here we go, so then we have um.
Of course, Molina came in with her stupid moon boots,
which we knew. Um. Jill came in your pick with
ashes of her ex boyfriend boyfriends boy friend who was
a gag bit. It was yesterday. We thought it might

(52:03):
be an actual ex boyfriend that died, but no, it's
just a joke, a joke, okay. Joe was one of
Rob's picks. Is the one that we thought was go Rob. Okay, Yeah,
she is a little bit um that we have the
vintage white car. We have Jane, who's so cute and

(52:24):
she but then she called herself a cougar. She shouldn't.
She shouldn't have. I think that she did herself in
when she said that, because he wouldn't have thought it
because she's so hot. She was so hot, and she
wouldn't have called her. I think she would have gotten
a rose if she didn't label herself as a cougar.
Is nothing. It's actually quite cool. She was so pretty.

(52:48):
She shouldn't have they talked her into that, and they
shouldn't have talked her into that. Also, she bugged me
because she she was sticking to her bit so hard,
like to make sure she she sold her bit that
he was oh, the car's not as beautiful as you are,
and she was just was not listening to him at all.
She was just running forward with her it's this year,

(53:09):
and then you know, and then I Cougar got nervous.
She got nervous, And then we had the older woman Holly,
where they actually acknowledged that they've been casting for four
years for the Senior Bachelor edition, which they've never given us.
There's no air date that's ever been in US. At
least they acknowledged that they've been doing fucking casting calls

(53:31):
for four years. But then it didn't even make any sense.
Then she introduced Rachel, the flight instructor, and he's like,
I'm sorry, who is this to you? And it's like, oh,
I teach flying. She goes, I'm a flight instructor and
a flight student. And I'm thinking, then, why are you
teaching people if you're an instructor, if you're a student,
And then she said, that's my wing woman. The whole

(53:52):
thing that gets you people both an instructor into students.
I think because once you passed her and level of
like UM credits or whatever of flying, you can start
teaching like lower level. Okay, fair enough, I respect that,
Thank you. Dana M. Goring. That have Kira the sexy

(54:14):
nurse in her red Laugerie, who's doctor Kira, so extra,
she's too good for this and I was like, no,
she might not be. She was imagine if that was
your physician. Yeah, she is over being like she went
to medical school and has all those achievements and now

(54:36):
she's just like screw all that. Yeah, I'm just going
to show up in LA Like she's actually like a
real doctor. Yeah, she's legit. She's so sexy. She's the
one who like bachelor's degree from Harvard, NBA from University
of Philadelphia, medical degree from UNC is She lying like

(54:59):
you really sexy doctor, that's but like why hard? But
why go to Harvard pen like Chapel Hill and then
show up and you're read underwear opening night? Like why
do that? It is pretty strange. She looked, She looked great.
I mean he was hot. I would never be able

(55:20):
to look at her the same because I'd be like,
damn yeah. And I also know that you that mentally
you made that weird decision. Are going to expect it
from her? Yes, he was so turned on by that.
He was so it was pretty hot. It was hot.
She was hot. She looked hot. One thing he did
and I get it, it is hot, but he did
it with all the women where he would like step

(55:42):
back and looked them up and down. H yes, wait
a second pageant, I thought I actually I thought that
too at first. But it looked like he was moving
them to stand on the right mark. But he looked
could be both. He looked he literally let them tip

(56:04):
the toe. He always he'd always watch him walk away
and stand around going here. Oh he was beautiful. So
I fucked them as they left. It was never like,
oh she had an interesting perspective right, everything the people
that did something weird. He didn't even comment on how
weird it was. You just let everything go and just

(56:24):
be like, yeah, these girls are gonna ladies are gonna
just come through here and be weird. I think he
also went inside that point where he went inside, because
I think he was starting to forget, Like he was
just like, oh, there's a lot of good ones in there,
but I'm losing track of all of it. Like you
just get a visual reminder of like which one still

(56:45):
like his top? That's so girl, I gotta I gotta go,
like do a quick eye funk of the room before
I continue on. I don't think he has enough depth
to really add anything. Well, I haven't. There's a coming
up conversation that I was like, oh, so, then didn't
we go? Then we have Then we get into the
second limo is filled with all the crazy antics. We've

(57:06):
got the sexy nurse, We've got all the cars save
a horse when you can ride a cowgirl laughing outside.
Oh no, she's tethered. She's tethered to us. That that
joke alone. Who was that? Do we remember anything else

(57:28):
about that chick? Yeah? Well she's from Dallas and she
that was tough. That was tough. She had that thing
that every season there's at least one or two like
blonde ladies with resting angry face. Yes, she was one
of those. Then we also have Ivanna. I was so
excited for the bar Mitzvah dancer who said nothing right.

(57:52):
She That's why I argue that she did because we
picked her for drunk or assy, and I think she
was crazy. I argued that she was that that whole
bit of like I'm not going to talk to you yet.
It was weird. He was he seemed to be into it,
but then she she had no follow through. Well, here's
what you need to know, paget. We didn't want here's
what if you didn't read her bio. Okay, wait, Katie,

(58:15):
will you read the bio just because I don't think
they can even do it justice, We're just gonna read
it to you. She dancer um It says that uh
ivan idea of a romantic date involves dancing naked in
the rain and ends with cuddling after her man washes
her hair all animals. Because of Anna hopes to one

(58:37):
day have a dog, five snakes, three exotic frogs, one lizard,
and a turtle. Um. She takes herself out to a
new restaurant every weekend. She prefers indoor trees, and she
worked as a hand model from time to time. She

(58:59):
she goes to a mitzvah, it does a dance and
then it's extra for the hand model. I would have
liked to have seen her crazy and she did a
finger up and then she did a crazy kiss blow
yeah yeah, yeah, she didn't make it. She gave him
a real meaningful goodbye hug or whatever and was like

(59:19):
this was thank you, or she said something that was
that weird Stockholm syndrome where they say nice things to
the person that just kicked them out, and that somebody
said something like I just want to sit on your
face and a pillow. Yeah, she brought a pillow on
your face. Is too crude. It's too crude. I agree
with you, it's too crude, crude. I think that was

(59:42):
Gabby she did. I think she was my pick. I
picked her number two. She's an icy you nurse. She
was my number two, and she did a pillow. I
want to sit on your face. She almost everyone she
did seem drunk. I think she was drunk, and she's
gonna have like she kind of had like vocal fry
and she's an icy nurse and she pulled. Maybe you guys,

(01:00:07):
maybe our medical professionals are so fun like the last
I want to go in a different direction entirely, just
a break from Yeah, they're like, I've been in the
icy U. I'm gonna get hammered, sit on your face
and jumping. I bent your COVID three times. You know

(01:00:34):
what exactly? Do whatever you need to do. So then
we have the redhead that was so cute in the picture,
but then she showed up in the hot tub. She
got out showing up in a bikini and then got
shy and goes, I'm gonna go inside and get dressed,
and we never saw her and we never saw her again.
And then did she get cut? Yeah, I don't know, Yeah,

(01:00:56):
I don't remember when the reddit apparently she posted on
Instagram how she the produce has made her do that,
and she had a really cute dress that she wanted
to wear. Also, how like Giovanni were all these gowns.
These gowns were like really like bugle beads and like

(01:01:20):
thy slids heavy, each of them at least twelve dollars paget,
very pageant like evening gown like the evening where like
I don't think there's ever an occasion that I would
in a million years ever purchase and wear a gown
like the ones that we saw. Was like it's like

(01:01:40):
their pageant e hiu hi, Doug, would you wear that gown?
Would not? So then we have the tiny car and
then the huge car crushed it, and that was China,
can't remember, Cassidy, you mean the old car, the tiny
you know, the teeny and then she came in. Then

(01:02:04):
the big truck and then and then a truck drove
over it, and they acted like it was a much
bigger catastrophe than it was. It doesn't even look like
either vehicle was damn it forward. I don't know what
if the big truck was damaged and want something to happen.

(01:02:26):
It was so not a not a thing had to
cut to a woman going. It was crazy that she
drove the car with the other she's trouble, and then
with a snake that kept the snake all night long.
I didn't who was that she had sucked up? She
had like real like she had Southern reeled to her hair. Yes,

(01:02:49):
I told you she was my villain. She was my villain.
It was like a cat cost. She still there, she
got picked, she committed. She's still there. Yeah, lady. I
did not like the snake. I don't like. Okay, So
then so then he gives a toast and he was
like I want to get down on one knee at

(01:03:11):
the end. And then he spilled a drink all over himself,
which I loved. I loved, but I love that. I
know you guys, I don't. I think he's gross. I
hate him. Just like here we go. So Susie got
pulled aside. First, she's cute, she's very nervous, like you
have kind eyes. I'm excited to be here. I'm just

(01:03:32):
a guy from Missouri. And she's like, well, I like
to live my life always out of the comfort zone.
I'm like Kenny Loggins in the danger zone and he's like,
I need Then she said this, and this was a
new grammar or we heard all sorts of them. She said,
I need somebody that is different than I. That was

(01:03:55):
a real, really interesting turn that sounds like I'm that
this will. Don't worry, I'll land this. It will sound
Shakespearean or poem different. And they sucked her over by
editing it. I need somebody that is different than I Padgett,
what do you think about that? I actually can't tell

(01:04:17):
if that's grammatically prom someone who is different, different than me, am, no, no,
different than I am technically is grammatically correct, but people
don't use it. Yeah, but she didn't say that. She
didn't say it would be different from me me different

(01:04:37):
than I am. But she didn't say am. I didn't
say no, no, no, but the am. That's how you
tell if it's proper. Yeah, but she didn't say the
last word. She listen. It sounded weird. She's weirdough, but
grammars weird. Now I think it was wrong. But Paget,
you're saying people don't say it properly anyway correct in general. Yes,

(01:05:01):
but there's so we have to all give up on
grammar because it's it's no, we don't have to all
person person mind relationship. I mean, it's just forget it.
It doesn't matter anymore. The bachelor grammar world is, it's
not a bachelor grammar. Also, there were some bad shoes.
Did anyone there's a lot of chunky, chunky bad healing?

(01:05:24):
Would I understand? I do too, because it's gonna be
a long nights because you're gonna be the until the
sun comes up. Okay, So then this girl in and
Elizabeth in a terrible judgment call, she pulls out a
photo of her grandparents that's overalls all and then you
can keep it. You keep keepgraphant co in COVID just

(01:05:49):
for you can't want put it in your mouthy watch
you put it in your mouth. It felt fell like
in your mouth put it in this photo. It was
it felt like it felt like it was like like

(01:06:12):
like holding him hostage of like I'm giving you this
as collateral that you have to pick me too much responsibility? Yeah,
letd someone do that? Like what like it's equivalent of
like a trauma bond in an item of like I'm
giving you something that I've now told you my did
you can't cut me just given him n f T, Yeah,

(01:06:33):
something I emailed it to you. Let's not even let
my great parents eighteen seventeen token and this one is fungible,

(01:06:59):
this one, this one spungible. So then Teddy, Teddy comes
in the confident virgin. She goes, I looked at all
the guys. I like, so she already knew she was
coming on all the guys. And I told my sister, like,
if I'm not the guy at a highat, it's going
to be that guy. And then it was you. And
then she was like, you know what I wondered. She

(01:07:20):
was like, I met you and you were such a flirt.
Sparks were flying, sparks were there. And then they had
the first kiss and it was like, I gotta say,
they had chemistry. It was a good kiss, and it
was an extra good kiss because all the girls in
the mansion saw it. Paget talked to us as an expert.
I think she's got some magic. They might have great chemistry.

(01:07:43):
I liked her dress. I think she's confident and beauty.
I love her hair, She's I'm excited. I'm excited her
even though she's not even though my my number one
outed herself before the evening even started. The one I'm
rooting for now is Teddy. What did you think? Marylyn?
I love her, but I'm scared. I'm scared in a

(01:08:04):
way that's very watchable, but I'm like, when's it gonna like,
what's going to happen? They didn't have much in the
preview of that almost made me feel like, because she's
going to be around and she's like and they're trying
to trick us. I don't know. I feel like she's
not gonna be final two and therefore probably will be
severely crushed. He's already acting like they're in love. I
hate to say that, Yes, I hate to say this,

(01:08:25):
but there's got to be some fallout from the virgin
thing like that can't be. He could, like, you know,
be scared of the idea of being with her right
so that may see Kira the sexy doctor. She gave
him a physical and basically just hurt his heart beat
and was like, let's make it faster, and then they

(01:08:46):
fucking got at it and made out. I just kept
thinking of COVID. But he's like, every makeout wasn't the like,
you know, it didn't lead up to it because they
had such a great conversation. They'd be like, so you know,
I'm gonna get a physical and he's like, speaking of Eliza,
there's a German game. Here we go. There's a flash

(01:09:07):
card and it says can we kiss? Like, you're right?
It was like no chatting, It was just teddy. I
asked a question, do you know what, like, you know
how before you go and shoot something, they give you
that bullshit. It's one piece of paper and you you
check a box at the bottom saying I don't have herpies?
Do they have to do? Like yes, and we know

(01:09:28):
this and cut this out. But when we went to
Nashville that first time and we made remember when we
found out they had to do all these STD tests
and then he didn't make it into paradise and we
were like, well we now we know who has STD,
who has herpies? You can't go on if you have herpes?
Got it? Okay? Great, there you go. Just bleep the name,
just bleep the name because it is they bleep the name. Yeah, okay, okay,

(01:09:52):
So then um, so thatbody have Molina with her stupid
zoom boots is gonna sell? Is anybody gonna know? Didn't
get the name out. She looked like a drunk idiot too. Yeah,
and it just seemed like yeah, and he was sort
of like, boots, she's going to travel to Mars. They were.
She was so thirsty about getting her boots on the show,

(01:10:13):
like it was so so did she did she invent those?
I didn't. I didn't get to see. That was all
in the in her bio, her kangaboots, being a kid
and going to the mall and they had boots like that,
like she reinvents, she reinvented something exactly the same, exactly
always been a thing. But she's got some sort of

(01:10:35):
I'm gonna jump on you and I'm gonna jump on you, okay,
And you know, I wish she was gonna be around
some more so we could hear about how she's a
boot premier. Oh yeah bot. So then she goes. Then
we have Cassidy in the tiny car and she starts
hanging out to his car and then she holds on
him and then she falls out of the car and
then he's like, are you Okay. She's like, I planned

(01:10:55):
it that way, and then I think they kissed. Okay,
let me get to the Let we get to the
best part of the night. Here we go Claire the
spray tanner. Now we know from his bio that he
loves cornhole, so she sets up his dream date. This
is all perfect, it's his dream. It's a tailgate date.

(01:11:15):
We have cornhole, we have tailgating, we have chicken wings, um,
and we've got RAN's dressing um. And then so basically
they're they're playing cornhole. She gets competitive with him. She's like,
let's just say I won. And then um, she's like,
care to sit in my tailgate? And he's like, oh

(01:11:36):
I I you I get the good ones, you get
the flat wings. And then somebody comes up to steal
him away, and then she goes, why are you stressing
me out? And then he walked away and she goes, well,
I one, and then she's like and then she starts eating.
By the way, no, no, neither one of them wanted cornhole.
They're both terrible at it, and either one of them

(01:11:57):
ever got a corn in the hole. Yeah, and you
just had like three bags sitting next to the hole
and decided she's a winner. Also, she was drunk, she
was hammered. And also I think again with the producing,
like why does she get to have a whole date
right now? Did they get a whole date in the
middle of the night where everybody is supposed to get
time with it? She was pulled away, put in that

(01:12:18):
table with the cornhole, the food, thinking it's gonna be
a big thing given alcohol. I think that, like she
may have eventually gone crazy, but I think it was
the alcohol and the fact that she was pulled away.
I think they thought that. I actually think that they
thought that they were going to hit it off. Like
I think they set up for her, Claire. I think

(01:12:40):
they set up for her. She's got hot, sort of
fun blonde, big bombshell tanner like, and they set up
like his dream Sunday afternoon of cornhole and a tailgate.
And I think she's a pistol And somebody interrupted and
she's like, clearly they knew she was gonna be a

(01:13:01):
one year going badly before somebody interrupted because she was
too drunk and was already talking ship to him. Tanna,
what do you think? Yeah, I mean, her personality right
off the bat was very like, yeah, I like, you know,
like just her energy was a little more chaotic. I'm
like saying, you acted out. She was like, you know,

(01:13:22):
I like them fucking bad boys like her energy. Like
I knew as soon as I saw her, like and
she was interacting with him, I was like, oh God,
she's she's she's she's pure, she's chaos. So when he
was just kind of like being like like he couldn't
handle her, like immediately was like, oh, she might probably
get cut before she even started to be like and
he can't handle me is what she was saying about him,

(01:13:45):
But that sounds but it also seems like she was
saying that because he clearly just got up and walked
away from her in the middle of their which is
also what happens the first night. Like people get pull
you get it was more glaring because all that stuff
was there and she goes. So then she goes like, well,
I'll eat the wing. So then she has ranch dressing

(01:14:05):
on her face, which I appreciate it, and then she
goes not the vibe. I have a very specific person
one two nights to me go away. He sucks. We're
playing cornhole. It was forced, no, sir, I would reject him,
that I would eat him and spit him out. They're like, Claire,

(01:14:26):
did you talk to him? She's like, yeah, I hated him.
I'm too firing. I'm too fiery. I don't need a high.
I love America, I'm America's sweetheart. I hate him, And
so that somebody had to go be the tattletale and
they're like, hey, look um. Sine was like, hey, listen,
Clares and then no, you can't. You can't be the tattler.

(01:14:54):
You can't be the tattler. So then he was like, hey, Claire,
can I talk to us your second? He literally goes
hate a strong world that I talked to you for
a second. And then he's like, oh, I just heard
that you hate me. Now, No, I don't say I
hate you, and no I don't hate anybody now. Yeah,

(01:15:16):
that's the real sign of a drunk is the old
because I believe she doesn't think she you know, like
she thinks she didn't say it. I don't hate you everyone.
I kept saying, I hate, I hate the concept of you,
I hate I hate, I hate everything about you. But
I don't I would eat you up and spit you out.

(01:15:37):
I was gonna look at me. I love America, I
love Cornhole. Fuck yeah, I use me. Katie. What did
you think of all of this? I mean, I really
kind of loved it with At one point, somebody says
to where, oh, like, you know, have you talked to him?
She was like, or even talked to him more? And
she goes, no, should I just by the way, I

(01:15:59):
think we just figured it out. She was drunk on
the first night. She was drunk, she was back on
the first night. I kind of love that. I loved it.
Now the women, all the women come together. Did you
think paget that he was going to have the nuts
to actually cut her? No, I don't think he made

(01:16:23):
that decision. Okay, Now we were disgusting because it was
very sudden. Okay, they just didn't get through you know what,
We're gonna take it. We never see him say I
think I should. We're gonna take a quick break and
then we're going to come back and discuss why we
didn't see this on camera, because I want to talk
about what we think actually went down. Because he called
his mom and I'm sorry, I'm more bows. I'm on

(01:16:49):
the bows. Okay, we'll be right back. I don't know
about you, but things are getting so hot. I think
I gotta take break and we're back. Okay. So before
the break we were talking about so we didn't see

(01:17:10):
your right, we didn't see He comes back in and
tells everybody that he got rid of her, but we
saw them. Should we see him walk her? Both of
them silently walk in the room. She's in front of
him now, and then he comes back in and says,
I sent her home. Now, here's my question, because normally
the producers would be all over somebody ranting why did

(01:17:35):
they not give us that footage? Do the women? All?
The women might all, but there's never anybody too drunk
to be on camera on this sholl I think she
got there or because it is extremely odd that they
didn't have any in the car going away, because she
must have just given them. But what would she give

(01:17:57):
them if they can't even use because even if there's
a lot, they could bleep. Here's my theory, and you
can just correct me if i'm if you disagree. I
think she just tears atow it like what a fucking
loser he is, and like and that maybe during the
cars of the season, the women do start to turn
on him and maybe they're like ship this. We gotta

(01:18:18):
like remember when one of the editors of the season
that we were talking to somebody who like used to edit,
and they were saying that Paradise is fun because they
don't have to protect the lead, but during this no
matter what, they have to protect the lead and treat
it either like Prince Charming or Cinderella like so like
you have to always make your lead look like so
desirable and if you're emasculating your lead on the first

(01:18:41):
night and just talking about what a fucking loser he is.
But the women are pretty nasty in the car when
they were sent home on a regular basis. At first,
it's awesome. It's usually like the woman who's like I
just felt like everybody's better than me. I didn't stand out,

(01:19:04):
I ever find love. I'm a loser. She's like, this
guy is a fucking loser. I think it was Maybe
I don't I haven't watched enough. But another first first
for the franchise, and that she took it somewhere. She
burst the bubble because all the other women are like,
he's so handsome, and she's like, who cares? She took
back the night for herself. She took she really did

(01:19:28):
not my type. She's you're not allowed to say that,
she said in her thing, being like all these women
are acting like you're supposed to just like hit it
off with him, and I'm like, this is awkward, called out.
The whole thing is you have to try and make
a connection with this dude that you just met. She's
right to paget. What do you think, Han? Now I'm
wondering if she just if she just said I'm not interested,

(01:19:52):
I'm leaving, I'm taking my battery pack off, I'm out.
This guy's still they would make a thing out of that. Yeah,
they would like get oh. I think Arden might be
right because if already he gave the first impression rose
to the chick who already left. Now this chick is
like he's bullshit and he's boring, and he's Mr. America's sweetheart,
I'm out of here. I think they do. I think

(01:20:14):
they do have to protect his value. Otherwise why would
anyone watch? Yeah, if they're like, this guy is so boring,
he's such a fucking but she's so drunk and doesn't
even give him a chance, like like you see her
drunkenness ruining their date, not his behavior. So it's maybe

(01:20:34):
they just decided to protect her, But I feel like
I feel like she would have said at least one
thing that they show that would pay like a nice
button to her thing and not make everybody sit around
wondering what happened to her? Yea is she writing about
on her instagram? Katie great And they're like, I'm I

(01:20:54):
am a queen. I do not deserve boring right because
like when Victoria would get kicked office shows of ship
while drunk in the car playing cornhole was so borced.
There was no chemistry none. I don't need a high. Hello.
I love America. I hate him. It's good television, But

(01:21:20):
I do believe she would eat him up and spit
him out. She's right, She's right. But here's where I
really see that. He is a small town boy from Missouri,
like for many because I'm from a small town, I'm
from tiny towns. You've been there to him, it's tiny,
So I say, you do see how this guy is

(01:21:41):
now the star of an ABC Giant franchise. When the
flight instructor was like, do you want to learn how
to fly? I don't know don't put me in the cockpit.
And then he's like, I guess we could both fly.
I can both jump out, and she's like, well, somebody
used to fly the plane. And then he says she goes,
do you traveling? And you could see he's never traveled anywhere.

(01:22:03):
He panicked and he's like, you have to get me
frequent flyermouth. I was like, oh, this poor guy, this
poor guy just hasn't he hasn't been anywhere. He was
of too right, Yeah, I think he's just like I
think he just like has a nice life. He does
his like he's tall. He hasn't been anywhere. He worked

(01:22:23):
out and he's tall, and like you can see that.
When she's like maybe like I'm curious about the world,
I want to go experience different cultures, he's like, I've
been to Chicago, you know, or like whatever, I got
to go to the mansion for the Bachelorette. Like I
don't know that he's we probably know everywhere he's been Missouri, Missouri,

(01:22:43):
Seattle where the Seahawks and the pace. But he was
he was practicing and then he was at the Bachelor
where did yeaholis and they got cut. So honestly, I
think that's it. I think that's it. I think that's it,

(01:23:03):
and I think that's maybe what they're trying to protect.
Like you're gonna win a tall guy that works out,
that's nice, nice enough, whose mom has a big ball. Okay,
all right, so then um so then the first impression
Rose is given to Teddy. I mean we all saw that. Yes,

(01:23:26):
the most confident virgin in America. I wish I had
like her confidence, just her her body language. Here's the
way she'd sit there and they were always touching each
other and that, you know, and they've just met. Oh yeah,
and like it was. It was all so perfectly cozy
and yeah and more interesting than like when she's on camera.

(01:23:48):
It's it's interesting to watch her do her thing, but
she's working him by the way. I was like, okay, well,
like she's cool, Like at least he's his first impression Rose.
He picked a cool like she she had a little
like personality, you know, like at least I don't know.
I went in the preview of all the tears. So

(01:24:11):
then the sun was coming up and the and the
Rose ceremony was starting. It was like it was like
nine am by the time that she rose and Jane
got cut from the Cougar got cut. I mean, I
don't even know the lady that I picked. Ivanna, she
got cut. I have a list, talk to us. Let's

(01:24:31):
see how many people got cut? Just a bruder filment
like you just look at it, just google it. Let's see, Um,
she was crossing who I mean the pen Tanna? How
many was it? Five? Five women? How many women got cut? Six?
Tell me who's got six? Daria Rose, Daria Rose Haley

(01:24:55):
was cut? Wait, Hayley Haley Haley. Oh she we thought
she was gonna be Cray. Yeah. Ivanna, Ivanna who was
oh yeah, she was a bourn miss dancer, wanted her
hair washed. Jane Jane was the Cougar. And then Lindsay
d I don't she used the neo natal car. Yeah
she's bubbly but didn't make an impression. And then Rihanna

(01:25:17):
got cut. Oh yeah. And then also Sally's gone, and
Sally's gone, okay, alright, alright, so there's seven, so there's
twenty three left is left? Oh Sally was counted in
the thirty six. Claire is gone. Claire, Yeah that's yeah, okay, great,

(01:25:41):
I'm okay. And then uh all right, we're gonna do
a tweet of the week first and then and then
mall on who you think now that you've seen it,
the top three will be in order. Okay, So but
before you get to that. Okay, here's where we're at.
We're at one point seven thousand. We're trying to get

(01:26:02):
to two point five by the end of the year.
So everybody, please, please, we're so close to two thousand.
Let's trick us to go to two thousand right now,
let's just go to two thousand. Um. We got some great,
great reviews. Do you want to hear some of them? Okay,
I will. I will read them to you. Our first review, uh,
five stars from Abbey so excited, love the pod, and

(01:26:26):
I am so excited for the new year. In coverage
of Clayton's season, pumped to hear Liza Trager as a
potential Rookie of the Year. I love her. Have y'all
ever tried to have Gabriel soon? I feel like he
would be a great guest. Well, guess what Gabriel is
coming on with Lauren Lobkis in two weeks. We got
him on. That's gonna be fun. He's so funny. Um,

(01:26:50):
here's an email we got from Christie. I'll to say
your first name, Carl or Dracula, dear Arden and the
protection team. That's you, guys. I've been listening to the
recent podcast and I finally felt the urge to write in.
I am the person that chose Carl over Dracula at
the Bachelor birthday party. I've spent so many sleepless nights
wondering if I made a mistake. So many people love Dracula.

(01:27:14):
Could they all be wrong? Did I pully Jesse Palmer?
But no, I know in my heart Carl was the
right choice Today. Maybe the whispered yard in may make
you swoon, but after a few centuries that's bound to
get annoying. However, having a man that can jump hug
you will never grow old. Plus, I just watched Grand Crew,

(01:27:35):
and Carl's star is on the rise. What can Dracula
really offer other than a casket and a few moonlit nights.
I hope that my choice will stand the test of time.
Of course, Dracula's immoral immortality would have allowed him more time,
but that's an unfair advantage. I am certain Carl was
there for the right reasons. Yours, Julie Christy, Katy, how
do you feel our Carl versus Dracula. You know, they're

(01:27:58):
both so great in their own they're so great. So
I was so lucky to have such great contestants. I mean,
you know, Dracula would be a you know, look like
that forever. He would look like that, and he looked great.
We know that he looked he looked great. He looked great.
Also great bodyguard, great bodyguard, terrifying. So it's still you

(01:28:22):
know what, it wasn't a clear cut It was not
a clear cut situation. All right, here we go. Um,
here's another. Here's another review. Five stars, Best podcast ever
from Eliza fig Best Bachelor podcast of all time. Art
in the production team and amazing guests make my week.

(01:28:44):
I discovered Arden when she appeared on Nick Vial podcast,
and I've been hooked ever since. While listening to the podcast,
you feel like you're among friends who share this crazy
obsession the Bachelor franchise. Arden is the smoke show of
one and keep doing the lord's work, Eliza, you just

(01:29:05):
get my rose. Anybody that calls me the smoke show
of the year, I will accept your compliments, and I
will accept your review. Thank you so much. Do you
guys want to hear one more? Five stars Aunt Whiz trifecta.
This podcast closes out my trifecta about Slour Nation. I
finally understand how men can watch sports obsessively, discuss it

(01:29:28):
with any and every other guy they run into, and
then listen to podcasts and analysis of games. Bachelor Nation
is my n b A. I watched the show in
real time and I text to friends through the show,
but the experience is not complete until I listen to
this podcast. I have had so many times that I've
been laughing so hard in my car i thought I

(01:29:50):
should pull over. You can't call yourself a true fan
of the franchise unless you also listen to this podcast.
Love you guys. Come on, what a great review. That's
a Mike being dropped. That's a mic drop review. Katie Levin,
how do you feel about that review? That review? Thank
you for taking the time to write it. People are
really nice and they put a lot of effort into

(01:30:12):
the reviews for us, not just like cool hood. I
really like to think of I agree with you, I
feel like and again I know and then well, this
is our seven year anniversary and I feel like, truly,
sincerely like that anybody listens at all like that, like
because like the spark and the joy that we get
making it, the fact that it's like the people that

(01:30:33):
are I feel like my friend used to say, every
bug finds its light, you know, like bugs like lights.
But like the people that are supposed to find us,
they get it. You guys who are listening, You guys
get it. And like you guys are gorgeous fireflies and
you found us. You're not some grodial moth. You're a
gorgeous firefly shining bright like a diamond. And like we

(01:30:55):
find the people that are supposed to find us, our listeners,
we appreciate you. I can't believe it. I'm so proud
of it. I love doing it. I love our fans.
I can't wait till I tour again. Anytime I tour
and then at a stand up show and somebody's like
and they come up and they like talk about the podcast,
like you're like, my friend, this is my friend is here.
I mean, I'm amongst good company. Also, if you didn't

(01:31:17):
listen to it, our draft picks are up. They went up,
uh yesterday and we filmed them. All before we started watching,
so I think it's a fun way to sort of
get to know there's a lot of stuff we didn't
learn about these ladies that we learned during our draft picks.
So that's up, and uh, you can email us at
Rose Podcast at gmail dot com if you want to
nominate yourself. We're gonna do a fan episode. Email us

(01:31:40):
at Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. Justin Spade, it's
gonna be doing a fan podcast with us. We want
to have you guys on the podcast. So if you
want to be on the podcast, we're gonna record it
next week, I believe on the tenth or the eleventh,
So email us will be on zoom at Rose Podcast
at gmail dot com if you want to nominate yourself,

(01:32:01):
since we can't go to sketch Fest, all right, would
you guys help me pick tweet of the week. Okay, Grey,
here we go. Um. This is from Mrs Wright at
Girl Without Attat Clayton looks like he was conceived on
one of Jesse Palmer's fantasy sweet dates. Um number two.

(01:32:26):
This is also from Mrs Wright at Girl Without attat.
They say their names are Clayton and Jesse, but I'm
pretty sure. One of them is dating Zoey Deschanel and
they just got there Forever home. She's dealing with the
Property brothers. They are like the Property brothers. They're exactly
the Property Brothers. This is from Justin Paul Spade at

(01:32:47):
Justin Spade. Somehow the NFL is more embarrassed by Jesse
Palmer and Clayton than anything Antonio Brown did yesterday. Okay.
Also from Justin Paul Spade at Justin Spade. Jesse Palmer
has the stage presence of the fourth Jonas brother. How

(01:33:09):
did you guys feel about Jesse Palmer? I I was
fine with him. Yeah, I thought he was trying really hard. Yeah,
it's hardly the host doesn't do anything. Yeah. I was like, Okay,
he's got his hair and he's really trying. And he's
really trying. Okay, when there's a hurricane or you know,
disease outbreak or something, we'll see if he steps up,

(01:33:32):
you know, we'll see if he's got the exactly Chris
Harrison had. Different than having the ladies, you know, ladies
like you don't get to see him at all, so
he's very hosty. Um. So this is from the Grubble
knov at the grubble knov Mara Spoon feeding sauce to Clayton.

(01:33:54):
What do you think my secret ingredient is Clayton? Is
it Jill's ex boyfriend's ashes? Alexis Weiss at host Body.
Nothing sexier than German flash cards on the first stage.
This is from alex at Pixie Lady A. For a

(01:34:16):
moment there, I really thought Clayton was hosting his own season. Uh.
They do look the same, they do. Um. This is
from Justin A. Paul Spade at Justin Spade. Clayton has
the exact same flirting skills as Mark Zuckerberg. Okay, which
two did you guys like? I like German flash cards.

(01:34:40):
I also like German flash cards. Do we like that
in Jonas brothers? Okay? Okay, So we have Justin Paul
Spade at Justin Spade. Jesse Palmer has the stage presence
of the fourth Jonas brother or Alexis Weiss at host Body.
Nothing sexier than German flash cards on first Date paget

(01:35:02):
German flash cards or fourth Jonas Brother. I don't know
how many Jonas brothers there are, so I don't get
the joke. I'm going with German flash cards. Okay, great,
Marylynn German flash cards, Tanna, I'm gonna German flash cards,
Katie German flash cards. It'd be weird if there was
more than four Jonas brothers. That would make it not

(01:35:22):
a joke at all. Really, Yeah, there is a fourth brother.
There's three in the band, but there is a four
in the band, I think, so yeah, yeah, there's a
fourth one that's not in the band. So it's like that,
like Rob Kardashian. It's like Elizabeth Olson who's carved out
her own career. Yeah, she certainly had. Okay, do you
like German flash car I love German flash cards? All right,

(01:35:46):
it is unanimous. Alexis Weiss coming in hot at host body.
Nothing sexier than German flash cards on a first date?
Marylyn Rice Cub what would you like to promote? Oh boy,
caught me off guard, there so so much. Yeah, I'm going.
I'm going on tour. If oh Macron doesn't cancel everything,
go to uh Lincoln Bio my link tree. Where are

(01:36:10):
you going? Where are you going? Oh boy, I'm going
to a place called Vala praise O, Indiana outside of
Chicago night uh and then I got a bunch coming
up in February, March, April, May, June, July. I'm launching
a book and also I'm a heavy hitting stand up
comedian nowadays. That's exciting. It's very exciting. Thank you so much, Paget.

(01:36:35):
What would you like to promote? Ah? What do I
want to promote? I don't. Oh, bird Girl, Watch bird Girl.
I'm bird Girl, Watch bird Girl, and I can't. I
can't think of anything else. I don't know. I don't know.
Everything I did is animation. I'm gonna be home every

(01:36:56):
day until like, where can we see bird Girl? Oh?
Bird Girl is on Adult Swim and it's on HBO. Uh,
fucking watch reruns of Criminal Minds too while you're at
the gate. Watch watch another period somewhere Marylynn. Mary Lynn's
on Criminal Minds pageck got me he was in an episode.

(01:37:17):
That's my agent. Now there you go. All right, Doug,
what would you like to promote? I bet another Periods
on Paramount Plus because they have all the central stuff. Yeah. Uh,
Doug loves movies. Dot com is where my you know
dates road dates are trickling out because of the you
know same thing that Marilynn mentioned. Have you stuff gotten canceled? Yeah? Yeah, lately,

(01:37:41):
like I think, like stuff that I put on the
books for deeper into next year, we'll probably still who
I was talking to my touring agent or like, we're
gonna wait a couple of weeks and see what so
we don't have to cancel and then try for the
second half of the year. Yeah, that's smart. Um. Well,
Tanna and I are gonna be doing the The The

(01:38:04):
The Listener podcast. We're doing one with Alex who was
on Bachelor in Paradise, Canada on our Patreon, and then
we're gonna do Summer House, which I've never watched but
everybody says it's so fun, which you can also get
and not infect your computer. And then after that we're
gonna do Bachelor at Australia with the first bisexual lead

(01:38:24):
where they have men and women competing for her and
she's hot and cool and you can also watch, Um
buy my book little Miss Little Compton and go rewatch
Insatiable or Shameless. Katie, what would you like to promote?
I Am Katie Underscore money on Instagram and go adopt
or foster and animal from your local shelter. Tanna, I'm

(01:38:46):
just at Anna hosting on Twitter. I love all your
tweets of the weeks. I know some of you aren't
watching it. I saw your tweets. Some of our heavy
hitters I've chosen to sit out this season. I just
want to invite you back, Cheyenne, Constant Ye and not Josh.
I just want you all to come back. Come back,
come back, yeah, come back. Who else is in there,

(01:39:07):
Dorian Dragon? Yeah, it's a few people in saying I
would love as mad as Clayton. You know, I'm sure
they all have their own reasons, but come back. Don't
accept them, and you need to come back and make
me laugh. Thank you, tweets, Thank you. Maybe they weren't
aware that it was already airing. No, there's been some tweets.
People are tweeting some tweets people that they're not happy with.

(01:39:29):
They're madic Clayton. But this is the fun part, doing this,
us doing this is the part of Thank you, Pat.
This is the fun part, all right, you guys speaking
of My name is Arta Marina. We will be back
next week with the madness. Stay safe, good luck everybody,
I like everybody. We're all gonna get it. I'll talk

(01:39:50):
to you later. Goodbye. Oh yeah, want to get all
up tonight so good. I just gotta wanted to push you.
Figure where you reach this lost your world? Whose news

(01:40:24):
your world? Will you accept? This Rose is a production
of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.

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