The Ascertainers

The Ascertainers

Music Musings & Other Drivel

Episodes

August 15, 2025 37 mins

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I think this one could crack our top 87 episodes of all time.  It's that good.  For real, it's worth a listen!

  • Joe Namath and hosiery 
  • Who else misses Johnny Carson?
  • RIP Loni Anderson
  • Plastic Surgery
  • Mark's thing
  • Errors and Omissions
  • Who wants ham?
  • Grateful Dead foolery
  • Song of the Week
  • RIP Terry Reid

#Newt'sAppleValley

TheAscertainers@gmail.com

Chef reacts to TikTok monstrosity - ‪@chefreactions‬ - Yo...

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We've hit the big time as we now advertise in the Tomahawk Club Newsletter (Mark's private Pontiac owners club).  I think it's an exclusive.  Wonder what Joe Rogan thinks of THAT!

  • Par 3 golf
  • Newt's awesome new burger
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Ozzy's cool outfit
  • Song of the week
    • Jim:  Wings--Band on the Run
    • Mark:  Fleetwood Mac--Got to Move
  • Is R Kelly becoming our new Meatloaf?
  • Taj Mahal
  • Common...
Mark as Played
August 1, 2025 39 mins

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Reunited after two weeks off from recording, and it feels so good.  Sure, we took a little time away and the world loses the Prince of Darkness, but you know what they say--you gotta break a few eggs.

  • Rough week for Iconic personalities
  • RIP Ozzy--Thanks for the great tunes
  • Songs of the week--Ozzy
    • Flying High Again
    • See You on the Other Side
  • Shout out Lil' Sis, Jill
  • We're not mad at Pat....
  • Sorry Sue
  • The s...
Mark as Played
July 25, 2025 40 mins

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Pulled this episode off the shelf due to summer schedules.  Originally recorded after Part 1 on March 14.  Swear Alert--Jim drops more F-bombs than usual (he's working on it).  It's probably a function of him overserving himself...  Audio is a little janky at first but gets better.

  • What day do you listen?
  • Newt's shoutout OG Kayla
  • Playdough
  • From the Grave--The Radio Game!
  • REM
  • Comedy Movies--Part 2
  • Marx Brot...
Mark as Played
July 18, 2025 41 mins

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Jim was on vacation this week, so abbreviated write up.  Round 2 with Chantz and Paris is a good time.  From Mark's out of town drink preferences to drinking too much prune juice in Switzerland--its got something for everyone!

Enjoy!

#NewtsAppleValley

TheAscertainers@gmail.com


Mark as Played
July 11, 2025 42 mins

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Mark's oldest son Chantz and lifelong friend/neighbor Paris join us for a free-flowing conversation that covers a lot of ground.  Something for everyone.

  • Escape plan
  • Guest intro
  • Mark's early driveway
  • The smelter story
  • Newt's initiation
  • Young man, old soul
  • Early musician stories
  • Guest songs of the day
    • Yeah by Usher
    • Let it Happen by Tame Impala
  • King Gizzard
  • Errors and Omissions
  • Peter Graves
  • With a name lik...
Mark as Played
July 4, 2025 35 mins

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Trying out a shorter episode to see if anyone can tell.  We cover a lot of ground with a few laughs.

  • Bring back the Radio Game?
  • Pseudonyms
  • Newt's--Mark's Cheers
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Quarterbacks
  • Jim's Song of the Week
  • Pan O Prog Plaza Stage preview
  • Come meet Mark and Jim
  • Mark's Song of the Week
  • Mark's Motorcycle trip
  • Wall Drug
  • RIP Bobby Sherman and Nick Rouse
  • Wall Drug

TheAscertainers@gmail.com

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This was a tough one to give a title to, as we covered a lot of ground and nothing too specifically.  Some decent laughs though!

  • Gong Show / Match Game babes
  • Tom Jones--Lady Killer
  • Bourbon Jim
  • The Beyond Burger Smash experiment update
  • Newt's--You can also get a salad
  • Songs of the week
    •  Mark--Tryin' by Eagles
    • Jim--Gator Country by Molly Hatchet
  • Dwight Yoakam / Tom Petty Confidence
  • Lyle Lovett too
  • Dolly Part...
Mark as Played

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Welcome back.  Pretty laid-back episode for you this time.

  • The gout
  • Thanks Reader's Digest
  • Carlos Mencia
  • BeeGees
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Charlie's 100 yard dash fantasy
  • Ewwww Rick Springfield
  • Spoiler Alert:  To Live and Die in LA
  • RIP Jim Marshall
  • RIP Brian Wilson
  • Beach Boys
  • PeeWee, Phil and Norm
  • Newt's--be part of history!

#NewtsAppleAvalley

TheAscertainers@gmail.com

The Making of "Jessie's Girl"

...

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Buckle up.  This one goes off road.  A few laughs to be had. Enjoy.

  • Enhanced intro
  • Myriad--take 9
  • Shaking or nodding?
  • Help from ChatGPT
  • Our fake song
  • You can't see AI live
  • Mark loves kids
  • Shoutout Mancini's
  • Newt's--Your Experimental Burger Leader
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Pee Wee As Himself Doc
  • The Groundlings

#NewtsAppleValley
#Smash

The Ascertainers@gmail.com

Pee-wee as Himself | Official Trailer | HBO

Our ...

Mark as Played
June 6, 2025 44 mins

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Your boys got things sorted out and are back to our old selves.  

  • Shout out Nilsson and Donovan
  • Things came to a head
  • Lilt
  • Spelling Bee
  • An attempt at a professional intro
  • Jim's doppelganger from Modern Family
  • Theme music appreciation
  • Quagmire
  • Steve Miller, The Baby's and Billy Idol
  • RIP Rick Derringer
  • Wierd Al
  • Yep--Meatloaf
  • Tom Petty--Runnin' Down a Dream Doc
  • Used Grilled Cheese
  • Songs that boosted bands
  • Body Hair
  • Sho...
Mark as Played
May 30, 2025 39 mins

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Of course, we mean RUNNING races, which is what we end spending an unusal amount of time discussing.  We do talk about drummers too.

  • Beyond middle age
  • Break in routine
  • Attitude Adjustment
  • Golf
  • Newt's--What's your favorite burger???
  • Memorial Day Toast
  • Thanks for your service, Mark
  • Steve Tyler vs Kenny the Jet revisted
  • ChatGPT decides the winner
  • Pompatus
  • High Diving With the Stars
  • Parental Advisory
  • Fooled Around & ...
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We were recently reminded that we are a technically a music podcast, so we set out to talk about our favorite 4 piece rock bands from the 60's, 70's and 80's.  In the words of Burt Reynolds (as played by the late, great Norm McDonald): Bon Apetit.

  • How are we talking about Meatloaf again??
  • Powered by Newt's, Apple Valley
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Steve Lukather
  • Kenny Smith vs Steven Tyler:  Who wins in ...
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  • Mad Men era slogans
  • Sellouts
  • Shoutout sister Karen
  • Mark's epic guy move
  • Choose your regret
  • Why Jim was bad in school
  • Osmosis
  • New Burger at Newt's is worth your attention
  • Touche' Cory
  • Your Zebra (the band) leader
  • Amyl & the Sniffers concert review
  • Another Alice Cooper story
  • Check out Sheer Mag (see below)
  • Shoutout Troy G
  • The HR Dept at the Vatican

#Newt's
#BassSlut

Yell at us:  TheAscertainers@gmai...

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Tonight, we're joined by Jim's wife, Kris.  She brings her cheery personality and fact-checking skills.

  • Spring has sprung
  • New friend at Newt's
  • Attitude Adjustment
  • It's still just myriad
  • Dr Hirt and Dr Payne
  • Hernia check
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Belichick's chick
  • The Blob
  • Chubby Checker
  • Oscar Rules
  • Fluffer
  • TV Talk
  • Peter Wolf
  • Paul Revere and the Raiders
  • Bar conversation etiquette

#Newt's

Tel...

Mark as Played
May 3, 2025 43 mins

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Going into this one we each had a bad feeling....

  • Don't take romance advice from a duck
  • J Geils Band Shoutout
  • Soul Asylum 
  • Mark can't stand it
  • Errors & Omissions
  • Hull people
  • B-52's
  • He writes the songs
  • Elton and Bernie
  • Pat K's Plaid Shirt (as seen at Newt's)
  • Newt's--try the Peanut Butter Bacon Smash Burger
  • Nutty Buddy

Contact:  TheAscertainers@gmail.com

#Newt'sAppleValleyMN
#TheSca...

Mark as Played
April 25, 2025 50 mins

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Jim's brother Jeff joins us for his 4th guest spot.  Kind of an odds n ends episode with some decent laughs.

  • Powered by Newt's Apple Valley
  • The Man's Mall
  • Robbie Robertson--good guy or dick?
  • Billy Powell
  • Columbia Record Club
  • Slap Shot
  • Wide World of Sports
  • F-1 racing
  • Jim's fear of work finding out
  • Kirk Cousins
  • Stone Fruit
  • Radio Game update--still not fully baked
  • Jim's Jesus Journal  
  • Mark's Music Mi...
Mark as Played
April 18, 2025 43 mins

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The post-colonoscopy episode.  Let's see if Jim sounds like he's not as full of sh1t.

  • Procedure notes
  • Met a legend at Newt's (shoutout Greg and Bonnie)
  • Newt's--Legendary Burgers
  • How not to invite a potential guest
  • Most strangers are probably cooler than you 
  • Mark pulls "The Dentist"
  • Bacon denier
  • Errors & Omissions
  • More Kris Kristofferson facts
  • We pause on the Radio Game--stay tuned
  • Mark&apos...
Mark as Played
April 11, 2025 42 mins

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Another one where we record two in one night--this one is number two (in more ways than one?).

  • March Madness (a little late)
  • Names
  • Street games / Improvised bases
  • Childhood injuries
  • Newt's--where it all began
  • RIP Fountain Valley--we need a new golf course
  • The Last Radio Game?
  • Machete guy
  • Was Hi-Fi Kenny the original MyPi11ow guy?
  • Kris Kristoferson
  • Mac Davis
  • Yet another reference to It all Begins With a Song

#Newt&apo...

Mark as Played
April 4, 2025 40 mins

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With local radios station 92KQRS changing formats, we are preparing for the demise of the Radio Game.  Probably a victory for our listeners, but Mark and Jim are taking it kind of hard (pun not intended).

  • Medical Minute:  Colonoscopy Prep
  • Mr Science
  • RIP Leonard Nimoy
  • KQRS format change
  • Jim's buddy won a car on the old KQ
  • Don't let the door hit you Howard Stern
  • The positive side of change (it's possible)
  • Vol...
Mark as Played

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