The Ascertainers

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We've got your basic Friday the 13th episode complete with a black cat sighting moments before recording.  Were we cursed?

• Kick 'em in the %*#@
• Hello Sharks
• Newt's 101
• Friday the 13th
• Songs of the Week
  • Tryin'--The Eagles
  • See You Later--Soul Asylum
• Just regular-stitious
• Kevin Nealon
• 2026 Golf predictions
• Kyler Murray is a Viking
• Volstead House
• Jello shots
• Whiskey--all you want!
• Shoutout Tommy

#N...

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If at first you don't succeed, try 151 more times.  This episode is a reflection of that ambition.  But really, it's not that bad--although Mark says he edited out so much dead air that Jim sounds a bit manic toward the end.

• Brothers
• USA!
• Captain Crunch
• Shot gunning Cheetos
• The next Jimmy Stewart
• RIP Robert Duval
• War Movies
• RIP Lou Holtz
• Pipe Culture
• RIP Neil Sedaka
• Singer Songwriter fight to the finish!
• Songs of the W...

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You would think that our 150th episode might be a little bit more impressive...  Think of this as our way of showing how comfortable we are with you, the listeners (both of you).  Kind of like leftovers can be great comfort food or something like that.

• The Tree of Woe
• Newt's--Apple Valley's finest, the sponsorship origin story
• The Medical Minute:  Mark's knees and Rudy Gobert
• Mossball Torsion throwbac...

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5 time guest Chantz and his buddy Alex join us for a matinee recording.  Of course we started the festivities at our awesome sponsor--Newt's in Apple Valley MN.  

• Jim's pending 5K
• Chantz's harrowing triathalon
• The white shorts story and other tales of horror
• Olympic stuff
• Anti-Grease hate
• Jack Black
• Epic movies
• Sports shmorts
• Diseases with human names
• Songs of the Week:
  • Evenflow--Pearl Jam
  • Children of the...

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When Mark came up with the idea for this project, he wanted it to be a sports podcast.  Well, today he got his wish as we hit on the Olympics, and the Super Bowl with a little music and some laughs sprinkled in.  Enjoy.

• Weather report
• Get a room
• Jim's last episode
• ASL
• MAGIC
• Super Bowl recap
• Shoutout Guy Gosselin
• Newt's--The Best Sponsor Ever
• Waygu Jim
• Winter Olympics
• Kare 11 sports gal
• Miracle:  The Boys of 80
• Ski ...

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....Eventually.

Fun little episode featuring death, social blunders, wieners and curling.  Tell your friends!

• The dark days of Bugs Bunny
• Newt's--Tell 'em we sent you
• Straight Mark
• TV For Dogs
• Mark's awesome white wine story
• RIP Catherine O'Hara
• RIP Chuck Negron 
• How Three Dog Night was named
• Some actual music talk (I know, right?)
• Geography for 200, Alex
• Wiener talk
• Olympic curling preview
• Songs of the We...

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Nice little episode.  A few laughs, very little negativity and a tasteful amount of nudity.

• Beads
• Two dogs
• Newt's--Sports bar without all the bro's
• 30 gallons
• Chill out
• RIP Pat's Dad
• Loyal listener roll call
• Gilligan's Island
• Werner Klemperer
• Aunt Jemima 
• Back-to-Back Songs
  • We Will Rock You/We are the Champions--Queen
  • This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide--The Kings
  • Feeling That Way/Anytime--Journe...

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A slight departure to start this one.  Things are getting a bit tense for us, and we address how we deal with it.  As an important piece of context, this was recorded the night before the shooting of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.  The rant is not related to that incident.  

The episode gets a lot happier as we turn to a very incomplete list of American guitarists that we like.

• Newt's--Still Crazy After all Thes...

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Just for fun, Mark invites his college roommate Tommy to join.  That's a bold move, but it wasn't as incriminating as Jim hoped.  Also, Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead died this week (which explains the amount of talk surrounding him).

• The origin story--bodily fluids have entered the chat
• Just outside San Antonio
• Mark's cardigan
• First Grateful Dead show
• Bootlegs
• Thank you for your service
• Enid, OK and the ...

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Kind of a meandering conversation.  In Jim's opinion, it's some of our best work.  And he doesn't even like this podcast.

• Powered by Newt's (Apple Valley, MN)
• Potatoes / Ketchup
• Demographics
• Cosby (sorry)
• Timberlake
• Jessica Beil (what is this--TMZ?)
• We are in the future
• Two man dead pool
• Songs of the Week
  • The Time of the Preacher--Willie Nelson
  • Shining Star--Jerry Garcia Band
• Gingerbread Houses
• J...

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This episode has something for everyone.  Philippines history, boxing, burps and one old guy explaining KPOP to another old guy.  Oh, and we're giving away 3 Ascertainers T-shirts!

•  The Philippines
• The Ascertainer's Newt's Nachos Challenge (not in any way affiliated with Newt's)
• Jim time traveled
• Mark could've been a contender
• Thai Curry--can't even hit a 3 pointer
• Burp talk
• RIP Dick Enric...

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This one was recorded before Christmas, so any current events won't be covered--which helps the episode.  Also, this is the second episode of the night, so if you detect a slight slurring, there's no need to adjust your settings...

• Stevie Ray Vaughn and Christopher Cross Connection
•  Dog days of winter
• Latitude vs longitude lesson (who says this episode isn't cool)
• S.A.D. talk
• Hat tip to So I Married an...

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Somehow, we've made 140 of these--very hard to believe.  The over/under number from Vegas was 3.5, so we have technically overachieved.  With that said, this episode covers a lot of ground and while potentially entertaining, won't make you a better person.

• Brown Sugar--just how?
• Newt's-- you go there and eat good food
• Mom updates
• From genius to idiot to back to genius
• Tough week in the news
• Rob Reiner
• Ja...

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Big news on this one is that Mark's been granted clearance to once again enjoy his favorite beverage--Coors Light (potential sponsor?).  Fun little episode with a nice cause to consider linked at the end of this write up.

• Shoutout Feegeebandmn for the funky theme music
• Shoutout Jenson Creative for the spiffy T Shirts
• Shoutout to Newt's Apple Valley for being the best (and only) sponsor ever!!
• Mark gets car...

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Well, just like that, it's Winter in Minnesota.  We are joined on this one by the lovely and talented (and tolerant), Kris--Jim's wife.

• Sea Monkeys
• Missionary
• Songs of the Week:
  • The Spirit of Christmas--Ray Charles
  • O Holy Night--Carrie Underwood
• Petri Dish
• Mile High Club
• Passing the Curling torch
• Christmas Memories
• Baby it's Cold Outside
• Dean Martin
• Bill Maher
• Conan
• Socks and Stockings
• Kris's Adult...

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Recorded a matinee following Thanksgiving.  Mark is still on the wagon, and Jim is just getting started, so this one is a bit more coherent than most.  

• Ever pooped on a plane?
• Thanksgiving recap
• Shoutout to our Selena!
• Football halftime shows
• Post Malone, Jack White and Eminem
• Sides/leftovers
• Dutch oven variations
• That Gomer Pyle sure can sing
• Lawrence Welk
• Songs of the Week:
  • Lawyers, Guns and Money--Warren Zevon
  • Like ...

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Today we look at one hit wonders, who prove that to be a known band takes more than one song.  No kidding.  Buried on the One Hit Wonder discussion:  Salute to Service--Thanks Mark, and who was more useless between Oates, Richard Carpenter and The Captain?  

More links will be added shortly.

• Candy Corn facts
• Halloween disappointments
• A fist of Gatorade
• Current events and history
• Zed
• Songs of the Week
  • The Escape Club...

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We are just getting back to this following our hiatus, and either Jim was way too amped up or Mark sabotaged Jim in editing to make it sound like he was interrupting--a lot.  You be the judge.

• I scream you scream
• Shoutout Alex and Paul for our theme music
• Gleemer
• Thank you for your service, Mark
• Back to ice cream novelties
• Farewell Pat and Sue
• The lost art of imagination
• Mystery Theater
• Retsyn
• Watermelon
• Robert Redford Rev...

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Hey everybody--did you miss us?  We had to take a couple of weeks off because Joe Rogan's representation suggested that our ratings were becoming problematic.  We rode it out and are glad you came back!

• The streak is broken
• Mark has something to say
• Shoutout the wonderful Dianne!
• Gateway meat
• How to get a Dr 
• Sponge bath confessions
• Puddy
• Song of the Week
  • The Question--Moody Blues
  • Black Diamond--The Replacements ...